#but it requires a lot of changes (school-job-house-dogs...all of it)

[eddis-not-eeddis]

.

[rainyfestivalsweets]

3/9/24

I survived the funeral and all the peopling it required.

Here is my food for today. I did get a couple dog walks in, but no real "cardio". I felt drained so I took a nap. Got up and finished my book: Waisted by Randy Susan Meyers

Book summary: 7 women of mixed backgrounds go to a weight loss mansion. They realize they are getting fed amphetamines and that the film makers are working on a different project than they are told.

Kinda like the show, The Biggest Loser but book form, with an ending that ends with most women being thinner but focusing on body positivity.

I got this book because it leapt out at my the 1 time I was in my local library because they just changed their hours to close at 7 pm instead of 5 pm. For Cripes sake...it was my major pet peeve because I moved back here 5 fucking years ago and could never use the library.

So what are my thoughts? Rambling thoughts from a lonely, socially isolated person in search of connection and meaning that isn't caustic or traumatic:

I understand that thin privilege exists. The way people treat me now is different than how people treated me 120 pounds heavier. I have the same heart. I care about people very deeply, still. I just look better because I am eating less and moving more.... Yada Yada Yada.

I was lucky enough to not have a mom that criticized my body, but my dad did- constantly. His sisters were between 100-120 pounds. I hit that by 7th grade! That is also close to when the dieting started for me.

In 9th grade I was about 135-140 when I had a leg injury that didn't heal. I gained almost 20 pounds in a couple months and I never got it off after that.

By my junior year I was in the 170's. He tried to manipulate my weight class and had me eat more all summer only to realize that we couldn't jump weight classes like that so I had to crash diet from 210 to 176 in like 3 weeks. It was torture.

After that I spent some time focused on other things in High school that I had never gotten to do before.

By sophmore year of college I was 210 or higher. 220 by the time I started dating. After I got a sit down job I spiked to 240 and it was impossible to get below that for the most part, even with some severe dieting and regular exercise.

And over the year, working a desk job, you gain if your output and input don't align... as mine obviously didn't. I was eating too much. I dealt with a partner who was a diet saboteur and I did a lot of stress related emotional eating (job shit).

But realistically I was also unable to maintain a calorie deficit in a sustainable way. So the diet culture mentally that didn't help me were things like the "last meal" concept.... because the "diet starts tomorrow." "I'm on vacation" & "Cheat" meals were also bad ones. Being in party mode and over drinking was another terrible one. I would drink 4+ cocktails and eventually eat a fuckton of greasy food to cover it up... (and often puke in the process. Like I said OVERDRINKING). Using exercise to offset overeating was another one. I may think of more later.... but also having lots of junky foods in the house and going out to eat constantly didn't help.

I feel like I am doing good on my current trajectory. Healthier and healthier every day. I am super excited for this process to end tho.... it is starting to feel like "Will it ever end?"

I had some vegetables and a half sandwich at the funeral luncheon also. But here is from the lunch at a sushi/Ramen place on...

I mentioned I took a nap right? And I am about to cook dinner.

[eviecries]

Grandpa/Grandma’s Farm Legacy

This is my first generations challenge! There might be some tweaking along the way. 🩷

Required packs:

Horse Ranch

Growing Together

Cottage Living

City Living

Eco Lifestyle

High School Years

Cats & Dogs

Seasons

Get To Work

Get Together

Snowy Escape

Get Famous

You can replace traits with other traits if you want or you don’t own all these packs. Do whatever you want, just follow the main rules.

You can download the starting lot on the gallery. The my ID is pasteliiish. It’s labeled “Grandpa/Grandma’s Farm”

Place the lot in the biggest lot in the horse ranch world. You don’t need to afford it, you can use cheats.

Move into the lot

You can start the challenge with the maximum of 500 simolians (ignore my bad spelling, it’s a made up word, okay?)

MAIN RULES

You cannot sell anything on the lot. You must make your own money. You can “clean up” the lot over time in build mode. There is a lot of debug items. :)

You can renovate the house over time. Upgrade appliances, counters, furniture, etc. the only rule for this is you cannot delete the original house. You can only add onto it.. meaning that you basically just can’t start from scratch. (You can move the house on the lot though)

Renovate the house however you’d like. Change up the outside, inside. Add more floors. Expand it.

Next to the house there is a stable with stuff for a horse and nectar making. This rule also applies to this.

WORLD SETTINGS

Make sure families can’t move or move into other houses. That’s it.

Generation #1 - The inheritance

A few years ago, you inherited your grandparent’s farm. It’s old and dinky, but you have many great memories here. You have spent summers camping here and telling stories around the fire. You have bonded with animals and the townspeople alike. And now you’re all grown up. And you’ve decided to move in. It’s.. a mess. It clearly hasn’t been taken care of in a while. Sure, it may be old and close to falling apart, but hey— you’re pretty sure you can make something great out of it.. right?

Traits:

Rancher

Animal Enthusiast

Clumsy

Generation Challenges

Complete the Expert Nectar Maker aspiration

Never have a job and make money by nectar and livestock

Have one kid (Required)

Teach your kid the horse riding skill

Expand the house to have at least another bedroom and bathroom

Max the Nectar making skill(?)

Generation #2 - The Horse Lover

Ever since you where little you have been OBSESSED with horses. Your parent has made sure you have grown up around animals and farm life. And you love it. You couldn’t be more grateful. Now, your goal is to become the greatest horse rider of all time.

Traits:

Horse Lover

Loves the Outdoors

Jealous

Generation Challenges

Complete the Championship Rider aspiration

Train horses as your job (I haven’t looked so I do not know if there’s an actual job for this, but you can train horses using the community boards around the world)

Have one-two kids (Required)

teach your kid the horse riding skill

Expand the house

Max the horse riding skill and parenting skill

Generation #3 - Chasing Fame

You have lived in Chestnut Ridge your whole life.. and frankly, you’re done with it. You want to get out of this old house. It’s so.. dirty! All you want is to be a musician in the cities and become big and famous. How hard is that to ask for? So you decide to move out. Your parent is heartbroken, but you could care less. You’re finally living the dream.. at least that’s what you think.

Traits:

Self-Absorbed

Cheerful

Music Lover

Generation Challenges

As soon as you become a young adult, move out of Chestnut Ridge and move to San Myshuno

Complete the World Famous Celebrity aspiration

Max the singing skill

“Accidentally” have a kid (required, this can be cheated or legit)

Never get married

Once your parent dies, visit your childhood home and realize that you miss it (parent death can be cheated or legit)

As an adult/elder move back into your childhood home and buy a horse and max your friendship level with your horse

Slowly lose your fame and switch to a family aspiration. You do not need to complete the aspiration.

That’s it for now. I’ll be adding more to this challenge over time, but I’m tired. Enjoy :)

[dreaminginwaves]

🐍 Draconis Family | Generation 1

I’m starting the #TS4AscendantLegacy challenge by @spacesuitsims. 💫 It’s an incredibly detailed astrology-based legacy which I am really excited to explore! Full rules can be found here.

*I will include rules & requirements for each generation at the bottom of the post.*

We begin with my Gen 1 Taurus Rising sim, Evangeline Draconis, as a teenager living at her family’s mansion in Willow Creek. The Draconis line comes from old money and is rich beyond all reason, which is where her love for luxury is born. 💸

Draconis family mansion in Willow Creek

💞 Gonzalo and Selina Draconis are proud parents to one dog, Ryder, and six children: young adult Kellan, teen Evangeline & her twin Ciaran, twin children Sawyer and Arcturus, and infant Tate.

Those two certainly got their wish for a large family and are always extremely busy between raising the kids, working full time (Gonzalo is in business & Selina is in law), leading the Game Makers club for the wealthy and elite, and being there for each other. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Luckily, a full-time butler has always lived onsite to help manage the household.

Evangeline & Ciaran hanging at the house after 💨😉

🏙️ Kellan just moved into his first apartment in San Myshuno, where he’s focusing on his music and becoming fast friends with his neighbors, who are all of a similar age.

Evangeline and Ciaran both excel in school and are learning to balance their education alongside their new jobs — Evie works in retail and Ciaran is a lifeguard. 🛟 The twins are extremely close and love to cause mischief, both at school and sometimes at home due to their love of mary jane. 💨

Meanwhile, Evie’s relationship with close childhood friend Max Villareal has begun to blossom into something more…

Evie on family vacation in Sulani

📜 Gen 1 Rules & Requirements

Taurus Rising ♉️

Taurus is a fixed earth sign, finding comfort in the home and in the material world. Often having a taste for luxury, this Venus ruled sign loves to pamper themselves and enjoy the good things in life. Taurus can be stubborn, grounded in their beliefs and values and uncompromised when in comes to change as they feel they must control all aspects of their lives to be fulfilled. Taurus must learn that accepting a genuine helping hand and guidance will help, not hurt them.

Traits: Lazy, Foodie // Aspiration: Master Mixologist

Career: Choose (Retail)

Modality: Fixed Earth // Planetary Ruler: Venus

Complete an aspiration in the creativity category (Child: Creative Genius)

Overindulge in an area of life (juice, parties, romantic partners, gossip)

Course correct after making two friends/romances into negative relationships (over -65 red) and rebuild the friendships back to good friends, swearing off the bad behavior and finding balance

Gen 1 - 1st House: House of Identity 🧘🏻‍♀️

The first house is the house of self, it represents the native (aka the person) - their personality and physical body, their interests and view on life, etc. The first house focuses on the individual, unlike many other areas of the birth chart. The Ascendant is always in the first house and their positioning sets up the rest of the chart - much like your founder sets up your legacy family. Explore, grow, and create a legacy of your own. The goal of this Gen is to find your sim’s identity.

Complete the Renaissance Sim aspiration

Play with 3 difficult lot challenges at all times (I’m applying this rule when Evie becomes a YA)

[shrimppebbles]

Happy New Year!

hello lovelies, here I present to you a very slight reason that I have been on a large hiatus: I made a save file!

this is a project that has taken me way too long, but I'm happy I can get it out right as I hit 100 followers!

currently only willow creek, all the details and download for the save and an update will be under the cut …

A Few Requirements:

this world is cc free!

you will need a computer that can run the sims somewhat decently, as this is very sim and item heavy, with lots of decor and such

not all packs are required, but these are the ones I own: Expansion Packs- I own all EP's except Get to Work Game Packs-Dream Home Decorator, Parenthood, Strangerville, and Jungle Adventure Stuff Packs-Bowling Night Stuff, Tiny Living Stuff, Paranormal Stuff, Laundry Day Stuff, Cool Kitchen Stuff

I made this using UI cheats extension but your world will function w/o it, I just recommend it generally

The Basics:

all of the willow creek lots are brand new — this means no renovations

there are THIRTY-TWO new townies and all existing townies have been given an updated wardrobe

there are also ELEVEN pets added to this save as well

the world starts in the Fall and with aging OFF

Some Specifics:

the very left lot in Crawdad Quarter is a combination of both a museum and library—since the lot is so big—it is functional as both, so simply go into world edit and change it between museum and library

I have also added a vet clinic and a pool to Willow Creek, to make it a little easier for your sims to visit those lots

there is one unowned house in every neighborhood and each increases in price point for your sims to move into

Magnolia park now has full accommodations for weddings, including an arch and full outfitting's for caterers and mixologists, as well as toddler potties and a "dog park"

The Fun Stuff:

there are a few name easter eggs that I've added that I hope you find funny

all the new households have their own stories and skills

there is also lore within some individual townie families—unfortunately however, once a household is removed from the favorited townies tab, all their relationships with townies outside of their household disappear—so no relationships between different townie households

Other Screenshots:

One last thing- if you use my save file and make any gameplay posts with it, I would love to see them! you can tag me or just use the tag #shrimpysavefile

Now what you've been waiting for ...

Download(sfs)

How to Install

before installing, it is strongly recommended to back up your saves and tray folders incase anything were to happen

download the file and unzip the folder

take ONLY the slot inside of the folder and place it into your saves folder, here is a the location: Documents\Electronic Arts\The Sims 4\saves

if there's a popup about a save with that name already existing, DO NOT replace it, that is a save of your own, you can simply change the number of the save in the name

open up your game and there should be a save called "The Shrimpy Save," click on it and run the save as normal

if you wish to play multiple separate saves and don't wish to redownload the save, simply click "Save as" in the options menu

Have fun Simming!

Just other stuff:

if you are unable to download the world for whatever reason, the majority of the lots are for download on my gallery ShrimpPebbles, although none of the townies are—so if there is a lot you see from the map or a townie set you would like to download and don't see on my gallery, shoot me a message on here and I can upload the lot/household on the gallery at my soonest availability :)

update on the situation for this tumblr: I am currently six months out from graduating HS, so school and work has been busy this past semester and has limited how much I post and make, but I recently left my job at an unnamed big craft store and so I should have more time for hobbies and such, like this, so hopefully I can begin posting more <3

Thanks to anyone who reblogs or likes my stuff! ya'll are amazing

@maxismatchccworld

[simkhira]

I Have 300+ Gameplay Mods?! & Yes, They All Work Together...

Yes, you read that correctly. I have over 300 gameplay mods / overrides in my game. 340 to be exact. & Yes, they all work just fine together. By that I mean hardly any last exceptions / errors. So if you are looking for ways to spice up your game - here you go, sis:

⭐ = my ultimate faves

PLEASE SEE ALL 300+ LINKS ON YOUR MOBILE DEVICE! desktop tumblr won’t let us be great.

BIG DISCLAIMER: Use these mods at your own risk! Just because all 300+ of these mods work for me, does not mean they will work for you. ALSO - when patch day comes, do not refer to this list for the most up-to-date versions of mods… I will only be updating this list when I feel like I need to.

O K A Y

let’s start with... the basics:

MC Command Center ⭐

UI Cheats Extension ⭐

More Columns in CAS ⭐

No Mosaic ⭐

CAS Background

CAS Blob Remover

CAS Immersive Lighting

CAS Tidy Accessories + Details

New Loading Screens

Cube Map Remover ⭐

Into the Light (Lighting Mod)

Out of the Dark (Lighting Mod)

Twinkle Toes (Lighting Mod)

No Fade on Sims and Objects

Build/Buy Camera (Tab Mode) ⭐

Lot Trait Effects Hider

Smaller Plumbob ⭐

& then you need... realistic socialization:

Chat Pack ⭐

Whim Overhaul ⭐

Meaningful Stories ⭐

Personality Please

Better Elders

More Face to Face Conversation

Call Over Sims (Higher Distance)

Call Anytime + Chat Longer on the Phone

Unlisted Phone Numbers ⭐

Low Fun is Boring

Family Matters (Share Big News with Family Members)

Share More News ⭐

Congratulate More

Ask What Happened More

Conversation Tweaks

Chat Standing Still

No Stand Up to Greet

No Rude Intro Animation

No Flirty Animation

Apology Fix (Don’t Apologize if Your’re the Victim)

Angry Walk-style Only When VERY Angry

Less Intrusive Conversations

NPC’s Get Out of My Convo

Autonomous Parenthood Social Interactions

Autonomous Social Interactions

Reduced Idle Chatting

Know Your Coworkers / Classmates ⭐

More Away Actions

More Social Activities

Spend Weekend With

Teach Me the Rumbaism

now let’s talk about... realistic romance:

Chemistry System ⭐

Pillow Talk After Woohoo ⭐

No Shy First Kiss

No Woohoo Dance

Shower Woohoo Tweaks

No Romance for Family

Restricted Romance Interactions

Less Jealousy

Simda Dating App

Can I Come Over?

Date Night Event

Movie Night Event

Set Family Relationships ⭐

Set Extended Family Relationships ⭐

Bathroom Privacy Tweak

Bridal Shower Event

Bachelor(ette) Party Event

Auto Engagement / Wedding Ring ⭐

Vacation Weddings

Sit at Weddings

Better Wedding Presents ⭐

Honeymoon Event

Buy More Gifts from Phone

Ask for Romantic Massage

Realistic Divorce ⭐

Traumatic Divorce for Children

Improved Relationships

No Restaurant Bill When Invited ⭐

Faster Cooking at Restaurants ⭐

Better Food Quality at Restaurants

Finish Eating in Restaurants

Restaurant Guests Overhaul

Restaurant Sit Tweak

(can y’all tell that restaurants annoy me? lmao)

first comes love, then comes... pregnancy / toddler / kids / fur babies:

Ages Behavior Tweaks

Toddlers Spawn at Parks (with Parents)

More Children at Beaches

Pregnancy Overhaul

Rub Your Baby Bump (Small Pregnancy Overhaul)

Determine Baby’s Gender for All ⭐

Ultrasound Scans ⭐

Baby Shower Event

Amazing Birth (Rave About Your Delivery)

Advanced Birth Certificate ⭐

Sibling Care Tweaks

Make Less / Clean Less Mess

Auto Brush Teeth After Puking

Auto Put Activity Crafts into Inventory

Allow Toddlers to go to Services

No Call Out of High Chair

Toddler Power Nap

Better Toddler Milk

Better + Younger Nanny

Call a Babysitter ⭐

Call a Dog Walker

Shorter Dog Walks

Dog Walkers in Other Worlds

Scold All Pets

Sell Grown Up Pets

Pet Food Serving Overhaul

More Efficient Pet Brushing

Kids Can Walk Dogs

Kids Can Order Espresso

Kids Can Ride Bikes

Kids Have More Phone Interactions

Kids Can Cook

Kids Can Do Retail

Kids Can Garden

Kids Can Make Flower Arrangements

Kids Can Make Robots

Kids Can Workout

Kids Can Do Spa Activities

Kids Can Play Guitars

Kids Can Play Ping Pong

Birthday Anytime

Let Friends Age Up ⭐

No Auto Put Away Toys

No Auto Put Away Pet Toys

No Puddles Under Tubs (Toddler Bath)

Has to Pee Walk-style for Kids Only

Better Homework ⭐

Better Grade School ⭐

Better High School ⭐

Preschool for Toddlers ⭐

School Projects are Fun

More School Holidays

25 School Vacation Days

Prom Night Event ⭐

Sleepover Event

Pizza Party Event

Field Trip Event

Family Reunion Event

Pool Party Event

speaking of school... university:

Less Credits for Degree ⭐

University Costs More ⭐

University Holidays Fixed

Higher Scholarships ⭐

Rejection Letter

Harder Distinguished Degree Acceptance ⭐

Degree Required for Promotions

Faster Run to University Class

Teens Jump to University

Choose Your Helmet

Choose Your Roommates ⭐

Roommate Age-Checks

Roommate Significant Other Fix

Roommates No Random Outfit Changing

Roommates No Random Item Spawning in Dorms

Roommates No Spawning Meals

Roommates No Trash

Roommates Sleep All Night

Roommates Less Music

College Org Members Are Uni Students

Faster University Homework ⭐

Faster Tutoring Class

Copy Graduation Photos and Diploma

No Bad Microwave Buffs

No Ghosts on Campus

Sports Fixes

Game Day Event

Graduation Party Event

once you graduate... careers & aspirations:

Plan Career Outfit

Better Work Actions

Enlist in War ⭐

Live in Business

Faster Retail Actions

Faster Record / Edit Videos on Video Station⭐

Higher Acting Gig Payouts & Royalties ⭐

More Realistic Overmax Pay ⭐

Higher Payments for Paintings ⭐

Higher Royalties for Apps/Games ⭐

Higher Royalties for DJ Mixing ⭐

Higher Royalties for Lifestyle Brands ⭐

Higher Royalties for Song Lyrics ⭐

Higher Royalties for Music ⭐

Freelancer Edits are More Successful

Sketchpad No Fees

Campaign Rally Event

Visible Political Position

Watch Political Speeches at Podium

Retirement Party Event

The University Aspiration Pack ⭐

Accomplished Lady Aspiration

Family Aspiration

Grow Up Aspiration

Teacher’s Pet Aspiration

Knowledge Aspiration

Retirement Aspiration

Romance Aspiration

Famous Pastry Chef Aspiration

Twilight Years Aspiration

All-Rounder Aspiration

Programming Genius Aspiration

Travel and Culture Aspiration

Wellness Aspiration

9 to 5 Career Pack ⭐

Night Shift Career Pack ⭐

Part Time Career Pack ⭐

Fitness Career

Health and Beauty Career

Modeling Career

Journalism Career (Adult + Teen)

Trust Fund Career (Adult + Teen)

Welfare Recipient (Adult + Teen)

Saturday Jobs (Teens)

Oceanography Career (Teens)

Private Tutoring Career (Teens)

All Freelancer Careers (Teens)

Tutor (Odd Job)

Woohoo (Odd Job) - lmao

Art Show Event

hahaha... adulting sucks:

Basemental Alcohol ⭐

Happy Hour Event

SNB Realistic Bills ⭐

SNB Banking

Invest in Stocks

Lowered Thermostat Bills

Instant Thermostat ⭐

Auto Wrinkles for Adults

Life Decider 

House Warming Party (No More Fruitcake)

Door Knock Notification ⭐

Island Events Notifications ⭐

No Strangers Knocking at Your Door

Quick Showers / Baths ⭐

Shower + Bladder Reliever (don’t judge me)

Power Nap ⭐

Sleep All Night

Smarter Robot Vacuum

Functional Tide Pods

Clean Your Bedsheets

Auto Put Away Clothes

Auto Start/Dry Clothes

Laundry on Community Lots Costs

No Idle Laundry Animations / Sparkles

Don’t Prep Food Where You Angry Poop ⭐

Don’t Wash Dishes Where You Angry Poop ⭐

Eco Dishwasher

Faster Cooking ⭐

No Auto Set the Table

Ask to Cook, Bake, Grill

BBQ Event

Custom Food + Recipe’s ⭐

Custom Drinks + Recipe’s ⭐

Grannie’s Old Cookbook + Recipe’s ⭐

Bake Cupcakes in Oven

Coolers are Cooling

Advanced Fishing ⭐

Fishing Trip Event

Fish for Crabs, Lobster, & Shrimp

More Seafood Servings

More Snacks in Fridge

More Food at the Bar

More Food in the Cafe

Flea Market Every Sunday

Get to Church

just in case you... get famous:

No Fame Decay ⭐

Celebrities Never Reject Fans

Celebrities are Quarantined in Del Sol Valley ⭐

Get Famous Award Overhaul

Less Celebrity Reactions

Famous Sims Gain Followers Automatically

More Follower’s Resolution for Everyone

Free Staff (Chef, Barista, Bartender, etc.) ⭐

Gardeners and Maids on Weekends

Red Carpet Event

whatever you are... just be happy and healthy:

Fitness Controls ⭐

Balanced Calories ⭐

Go for a Walk

Hiking Increases Herbalism Skill

Power Workouts

Athletic Outfit in Winter ⭐

Healthy Drinks

Improved Meditation Stool

Improved Spa Day Tablet

Improved Yoga Mat ⭐

Craftable Pottery

Less Elder Exhaustion

Less Sickness

Longer Basketball Games

More Fun Stuff

Online Gaming with Headsets

and I can’t forget these... more gameplay mods:

NPC Controller ⭐

Improved Autonomy

Simulation Lag Fix

Simulation Timeline Unclogger

Improved Autonomy During Loading Screens ⭐

No Empty Venues When Arriving ⭐

No Temperature Deaths ⭐

No Death from Murphy Bed

No React to Stranger’s Death

Realistic Death (Mortem) ⭐

Memorial Event

Freezing Sims Don’t Turn Blue ⭐

More Club / Holiday Icons

Make Hidden Holiday Traditions Selectable

Random Holiday Traditions

Wellness Traditions

More Holiday Icons

Less Rain More Sun

Less Snow More Sun

Summer Blow-Out Event

Christmas Eve Event

New Year’s Eve Bash Event

No Ugly Rain Outfits

More Umbrella Variations in World

Open Umbrella on Rainy Days Only

No More Broken Umbrellas

Destroy Leaf Piles ⭐

Dress Code Lot Trait

Gender and More Lot Trait

Preferences Lot Trait

Add Sims to Groups During Events

No Auto Club Gathering ⭐

Flower Arrangements Slower Decay

Take Photo Overhaul (Moschino Stuff) ⭐

Snorkel Everywhere

Don’t Turn NPC’s into Spellcasters

No Role Outfits for Sages

ROM Portal Only for Spellcasters

& you also need these... much-needed overrides:

More Sponge Colors

More Sippy Cup Colors

More Dog Leash Colors

White Ice Skates

Better Food Textures (All of Them) ⭐

Hidden Bassinet ⭐

iPhone X Phone Replacement

Playing Cards Replacement

Military Salute Overhaul

Small Saucer Light ⭐

Working Medicine Cabinet ⭐

Working Alarm Clocks ⭐

Realistic Fighting Animation 

Oasis Springs + Island Living Palm Trees ⭐

special thank you to all of the wonderful mod creators! seriously, I could not play this game without you guys... (no, really.) There are way too many of you guys to name without missing someone... so if you reblog this, all I ask is that you please tag your favorite modders! (& maybe even add your favorite mods?)

[drabbles-mc]

Hey! I think your career’s amazing! I’ve got a 3 year old with autism and I want to give every teacher of his bouquets of flowers every day for the rest of their lives! His speech has improved significantly and I can tell they take care of him because of all the affection he shows them. Their genuine care is palpable and I may or may not have cried on one of their shoulders once when I saw his interactions with his peers improve immensely.

The patience and skill level required to do it every day is unmatched! Here are your flowers 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐 (and let’s do a 💐^5 for your fics too! Lol)

Also LOVE that you teach boxing! My dad was a boxer and I asked him to train me a few times but every time he refused and called it a Man’s activity. Wish I just signed up years ago and learned anyway. Go you!!!!!

— Circle time ⭕️

PS: more Juice 📂 ples? 🥹

I absolutely love my students. Even my students who don't go to my school anymore, I still think about them all the time and wonder how they're doing. They take up so much space in my heart in the best way. 💞

Ironically enough, if it wasn't for my job as a boxing coach, I never would've ended up in the school that I work at! My school has a young adult program and they would come to my gym for this cool 8-week bootcamp thing we would run with them. I volunteer coached for that while I was in college and the guy who helped put together the bootcamp asked if I would be interested in working at the school full time with the students, and now here we are! Funny how stuff comes together. 🥰

PS: i was thinking about Juice today (I think about him every day) and I was thinking about him getting out from the club. I don't know how. But I was just picturing him away from the club building his own quiet "legit" life. He grows his hair out so no one can see the head tattoos. He wears a lot of long-sleeves to cover the ink on his arms. And it's weird at first. It's a lot of change to get used to and some days he wonders if he did the right thing, or if he should go back. But then those thoughts slowly start to become less frequent. Eventually he stops looking over his shoulder all the time. And he finds himself smiling more. And having this quiet life working on the books and doing the "boring" thing brings him a kind of peace he never had when he was running with the MC. He rescues a dog and he feeds the stray cats by his house. He meets a nice girl and this very typical life that he always thought was out of reach or would bore him to death is actually the best thing he's ever experienced.

I just want him to have some soft happiness idk I just love him

[toriwakes]

Problem [Spender Reid x Reader]

summary: the daughter of a famous chef becomes a target, and it’s spencer’s job to protect her.

content warnings: female!reader, cursing

a/n: hello!!! first spencer reid post!! so excited to share, sorry if it’s bad </3. this is obviously inspired by s1 ep18. hope u all enjoy, lmk if you have any requests!

dad was a famous chef. he was known world wide, liked by some and hated by some. that’s how it worked. she had gotten used to the spotlight. it was his, anyway. no one payed much attention to her. or so she thought. when the incident happened she had noticed a pattern. someone was watching her and she didn’t know who. why her? her dad, a hot head, wasn’t going to let this fly easily. and that was a problem.

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“davy plattel, 57. heard of him?” jennifer asked, clearly joking. “he’s an australian chef and has been on 5 different tv shows. all of which he rates food and has a tendency for being cold do this employees.” reid spat out the facts like he’s been waiting to be asked this question since he was born. the team just stared at him before jennifer spoke. “i was kidding.” spencer pressed his lips together as his cheeks flushed pink. “remind me why we’re looking into this guy?” morgan said, flicking through the files. “people going to his restaurants are getting poisoned, press says he’s snapped and is making them pay for making him look like a bad guy for all these years.” derek’s brows furrowed together. “and this is a b.a.u case because?” asked aaron. “right when the poisoning started-“ jj dropped a new file into his lap. “-his daughter (y/n) became a target.”

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“you lot are supposed to be the best in the game. figure out who’s hurting my business and find who’s hurting my daughter!” hot head was right. platell was taken into a separate room by gideon and morgan, which left aaron and reid to scout for you. davy told them you’d be in your room. “(y/n) platell? i’m special agent aaron hotchner with the fbi. we’re here to ask you a couple of questions if that’s okay with you?” your eyes lifted from the floor and to the stern man sitting on the edge of your bed. whilst nodding you noticed the taller man in your doorway. “special agent doctor spencer reid. we’re here to help.” hotch and reid walked you to the backyard, a perfect place to interrogate you. “tell me about your relationship with your dad.” spencer spoke first. you gulped. “i love him. he’s my best friend. he’s all i have, okay? he’s overprotective, but whose dad isn’t? he’s going crazy now that the person doing this wants me.” “what about the person who’s after you? any idea who it could be? think of someone who felt invisible to you, inferior.” as hard as you thought, nothing clicked. you shook your head and hotch let out a sigh. “i’m scared.” you admitted. “nothing like this has ever happened before?” spencer asked, almost surprised. “no, everyone focused on him, never on me.” spencer looked like he put pieces together. aaron thanked you for your time and led you back inside, spencer following. you knew the feeling in your stomach. butterflies.

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things got worse at the end of the day. you got a voicemail, an unsettling voice whose gender wasn’t identifiable called, talking about how they didn’t like how much time you were spending with the fbi. not only did this enrage your dad, it caused him to take matters into his own hands and search the bushes around your house. he didn’t find anything. “did the caller say anything else?” gideon asked. you quivered. “they..” you couldn’t catch your breath. “they said they were going to come get me at midnight.” everyone in the room shared a look of panic. “we need to get her out of here.” aaron instructed. “what? no, she is staying with me.” for what felt like the hundredth time today, the agents had to calm down your dad. “we have a safe house to take you to. an agent will stay with you for the night.” jennifer told you. your mind immediately went to reid. “anyone in particular you’d like?” she said, one hand on your shoulder. you leaned into her ear, whispering the name that made you cheeks flush. “spencer.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

the car ride was mostly silent. spencer was playing with his fingers, something you did as well. “are you nervous?” you said finally. he stopped at once, putting his hands into his pockets. “wha? oh, no, i’m fine.” you knew he wasn’t, but you didn’t press. “um- when did you leave australia?” he asked. you giggled. “when my dad started to get recognition, so when i was maybe eight. i didn’t leave much behind, the kids at school didn’t like me. i made my first friend here. gina.” he nodded. “was she nice to you?” “always. never anything but. i get a hot head sometimes- just like my dad. on occasion i would lash out on her, but she always forgave me. i always regretted it, she was really good to me.” spencer furrowed his eyebrows. “what did she act like when you would get mad?” you gave him a look, as if to say “why is this important?”. “well, she would look sad at first. like she didn’t understand why i was mad. she made herself smaller and blamed herself for making me mad. i thought it was weird that she never tried to defend herself.” reid shuffled into his pocket and took out his phone, dialing a number and speaking quickly. “hotch, why have we not considered looking at people close to her? it’s just like the case with that government official and the twin sisters- it was someone close to him. her friend- gina you said?” you nodded quickly. “fits the profile, and is close to her.” voices spoke on the other line before reid asked another question. “what’s her full name?” “gina carmen torres.” spencer retreated the name and you could hear hotch say he’d alert garcia. “it’s not her, i know it’s not.” reid looked at you like you were wrong. you shivered.

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when you got to the house spencer advised that you showered and got ready for bed, spreaking since it was so close to midnight. he stayed outside the shower door and handed you your close when you were done. “cold?” he asked, taking notice of you shaky frame. you nodded. he handed you the sweater he was going to wear to bed tonight, not minding at all. there go the butterflies. you sat one the bed and slid under the covers. “you should get some rest, i’m gonna stay up and make sure nothing happens.” he said. you didn’t fall asleep. “is something wrong? other than the fact that you’re being stalked?” you couldn’t help but laugh. “yes, actually. i don’t wanna admit this, but..i cant fall asleep unless i’m hugging something. and i..don’t have any stuffed animals with me.” spencer raised his eyebrows. “(y/n) if you’re asking me to sleep next to you i-“ “please spence? i’m not gonna be able to sleep anyway, it’ll help at least.” you pleaded, showing off your puppy dog eyes. “okay. fine.”

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spencer stayed up all night. sure he was required to stay awake, but he was only staying up because he didn’t want to miss out on how beautiful you looked when you were asleep. you looked so calm, so peaceful. spencer had no idea what he was feeling, but he didn’t want it to stop. he liked you, and a lot. “fuck.” he whispered to himself. the small noise made you stir, but not enough to wake you up. suddenly, a ring came from spencer’s phone. he picked it up before it could wake you. “hello?” he whispered. “reid, we got em bud. found her in the girl’s bedroom of platell’s house. is she safe?” morgan’s voice spoke. spencer looked down at you, petting your head gently. “yea, she’s safe.” “alright man. i’m guessing she’s asleep?” “correct.” “okay. just stay with her, we’ll be there soon anyway.” morgan hung up. soon? damnit, he didn’t have much time left with you. he checked the clock, reading 5am. he wanted to talk to you, but he wasn’t going to wake you up for that. what were you doing to him?

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spencer woke you up at 7:30. “they’ll be here at 10, and i don’t really know your schedule so.. i hope that enough time to get ready.” you rubbed your eyes and examined spencer. he was wearing his sweats and found a white shirt that was a bit too tight on him. he looked cute. “yes, that’s fine. i’ll..i’ll be right back.” you left the room to brush your teeth and get changed, finding reid inspecting some books you had lying around. “i have two copies of that. one at home and one here. just in case.” you said, sitting down right next to him and peering over. “it’s a classic. you like to read?” he inquired. “love it. although i cant stick to a book unless there’s some type of romance.” spencer raised his eyebrows. “call me a dork, whatever. what’s wrong with being into a little bit of love?” you chuckled. “no, in fact i figured you’d be that way.” you rolled your eyes playfully. “profilers. well, tell me what you think of me.” spencer paused before speaking. “i think you’re smart, you know how to pick your relationships-“ “what do you mean by that?” he stopped and pursed his lips, finding what words to say. “you know what you want in friends and boyfriends.” you raised your eyebrows. he couldn’t possibly know. “are you saying you know my type?” he shrugged. “yeah probably.” “try me.” “you like smart guys. guys who are confident, but not full of themselves. you like it when they’re sweet, but demanding. though i don’t know what you find physically attractive.” he said, going back to the book. you pulled it out of his hands. “i can tell you that one. i like guys named spencer reid.” almost instantly his face flushed red and he stopped speaking. you took the liberty of leaning in, your lips ghosting his. “(y/n)-“ “kiss me spence.”

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his lips were as soft as they looked. the way he kissed was new to you, but you adapted and matched his energy. due to this, he whimpered as he kissed you. you pulled back to look at him, his face was bright red. “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have-“ “spencer!” he cut himself off and looked at you with those full eyes of his. “don’t apologize. i liked it. a lot.” seeing that as his green light he cupped your chin and pulled you in for another quick kiss before getting up and getting ready himself.

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“(y/n)? (y/n)!” your dad showed up at the door a few hours later. “i was worried.” he whispered while you hugged. “i’m fine, dad. we’re fine.” when your dad let go of you and saw spencer lingering a bit too close, he connected the dots. “this boy didn’t try anything did he?” derek was listening now. you opened your mouth while turning to reid, whose eyes were wide with fear. “uh- no. he didn’t do anything but protect me, dad.” that didn’t let up his death stare on him. your dad wandered off to his car, everyone splitting up to leave home. “i’ll see you around.” spencer began to split up as well, but you caught his wrist. “check your pocket. see you.” with that you were gone. reaching into his back pocket, he felt something. a small piece of paper, you number etched on it with a small heart. you’re nothing like he’s used to. and thats a problem.

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

To Steal From A Thief:

A Lost Tomb fic

Prologue

“I’m so glad I don’t live in the real world.” —Leverage

“Growing up is losing some illusions, in order to acquire others.” —Virginia Woolf

Although he could sleep through the noise of storms, dogs barking, and passing cars honking at each other, the boy was always easily awoken on the nights when the soft but insistent buzz-buzz-buzzzz of the intercom outside the front door whispered secrets into the cool, misty air. Only three kinds of people would request entry to the Wu family estate in the middle of the night: Wu San Xing on several occasions when Wu Erbai had gotten mad enough at his brother’s activities to lock him out, business clients seeking a discreet meeting for their problems, and thieves. It was this third category of visitor that the boy was most excited by, and he was more likely to slip out of his bed and sneak down to the door that connected the living space with the insurance business when he knew that thieves were within.

Certainly, the first two possibilities were entertaining on their own. The most recent passive-aggressive standoff between the Wu brothers had involved Uncle San-ye sprawled out in the street at 3am, drunkenly yodeling a 1990s pop song about betrayal in love while pelting gravel at Uncle Erbai’s bedroom window with surprising accuracy (Erbai pretended to be asleep inside, but Pan Zi finally took pity and secretly let San Xing in).

The midnight clients for the uncles’ business were also interesting to peek at from around the hall corner: they ranged from statuesque women whose faces were shadowed by large hats, to elderly couples clutching each other close, to nondescript suited men who came “on behalf of my employer”. These clients invariably had one common denominator that the boy noticed: they were all desperate.

Why else would you come to people like Wu Erbai and Wu San Xing for help? Why else would you throw your lot in with a den of thieves?

If you asked one of their neighbors about the gossip on the Wu brothers’ house, the reluctant answer would likely be, “not much.” The Wu brothers were the ones that ran that little insurance business attached to the house. Established in the neighborhood for decades. Took out the trash on time, no loud parties. That young nephew was living with them right now and going to school at the local university, such a sweet boy. Now, once in a while you might glimpse someone entering or exiting the house who didn’t look normal at all, but as Wu Erbai would explain with an unblinking and discomfiting stare, these were simply some paying customers from out of town. The insurance business takes all types, after all. Everyone has something they consider valuable.

Within a very different community, however, the Wu reputation was only normal in the sense that they were an established family of thieves (freelance goods retrievers, Wu Erbai hissed) going back to Wu Xie’s grandfather.

It had all started, as Uncle San Xing would tell an awed young Wu Xie during warm evenings in his childhood, when Grandfather Wu had come across an old friend stumbling his way through the street with tears streaming down his face. The friend’s story was sad but not unheard of; he had gambled too much during a game one evening at a private party and drunkenly bet away his prized family heirloom, a carefully maintained watch that had been passed down to him upon the death of his father. Once sober, the horrified man had rushed to the game winner’s house and explained his mistake. He offered the watch’s estimated value in cash, as he had scraped together the money for it, but to no avail. The winner of the watch liked it too much and wouldn’t exchange it for any money. To make matters worse, as the man grew increasingly desperate and upset, the winner (a powerful man in town) had him removed from the house and publicly thrown out onto the street. Humiliated and grieving, he stumbled home to tell his family about the loss. Wu Xie’s grandfather had caught him only a few houses away from his own. Grandfather Wu found himself angry on his friend’s behalf. Certainly, his behavior had been foolish and irresponsible—but for the other man to refuse a reasonable deal to restore someone’s family heirloom, particularly when he didn’t need the money himself, and to publicly embarrass this friend to boot?

Grandfather Wu never explained to his sons just how or when the thought came to him, but it was an idea that would change the family line forever: taking the watch back is the right thing to do.

His journals didn’t provide much information about how he accomplished it; a reference to a sympathetic servant in the house, tips jotted down for making an innocent diversion at the right moment. However he accomplished the watch retrieval (leaving the money in its place), Grandfather Wu got a taste for it after that—and other friends and acquaintances who had heard about the watch incident came by or wrote to him with their own problems and a tidy sum to ease the way. The rest, as Uncle San Xing would say while tucking young Wu Xie into bed, was history.

In the next generation, however, Wu Xie’s father pointedly set up a legitimate business in antiques insurance. Nothing against his family, he let them know, but he wasn’t going to get mixed up in that business. The Wu family was going straight from here on out. The uncles shrewdly went along with it, setting up their own business—as a cover for their real work. The job was still simple: clients came and told the uncles their stories about what they needed to get and why. After deliberating, and with Grandfather Wu’s input while he was still alive, they would decide on whether to take a case. As for their collaborators, the imagination required for planning a robbery invites all sorts of colorful characters to the table, and Wu Xie’s summers at his uncles’ house growing up were full of grifters teaching him pool, cardsharps giving him tips on how to make an ace vanish in his hand, and hackers showing him how to get the media he wanted for free. All of this, mind, under his elders’ noses. He was meant to be learning the insurance business, and summers were for learning to mind the store and keep the accounts, not for getting involved in that immoral thieving business.

Wu Xie unwittingly grew up as a sort of living olive branch between the brothers; the one thing that Wu Xie’s father and uncles seemed to really agree on was that their beloved Wu Xie, sheltered as he was, would not become involved in the shadowy world of “freelance goods retrieval.”

Or rather, Uncle San Xing claimed to agree. This would change.

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As you can see, it’s very much an AU (a leverage themed AU, to be specific) and I’m sure I’m getting stuff wrong about the family structure from the books. Apologies, please just think of it all under the banner of it being an AU!

Please let me know your thoughts, it’s just starting out!!

[horrorslashergirl]

My Slashersonas and s/o types

I got many asks about about s/o some of my OC would love, so I decided to write down for each of them. Also the ‘Type’ thing is what my OCs are: dominant, submissive, switch etc.

Richard Firewood (Pansexual)

Type: Cold Dominant

His type of s/o would have to be someone who is willing or not, depending on the situation, to give up their life and live with him at his hotel; he needs that someone to be completely dedicated to him, which means that they don't have to work so that they will be at their beck and call to Richard.

He owns a luxury hotel, he is very rich and can provide for himself and his s/o everything they need. His s/o has just to be his pet, following after his steps as they worship him.

His s/o has to listen and be submissive; of course, he will listen to what his s/o has to say if they have a certain desire or wish, but he has the final word and decision.

His s/o has to have class, as in they know how to act in public, don't embarrass him. If you are his, you have to play the cute and mannered partner. He is willing to teach you that if he sees some potential in you, but warning, his patience wears thin, so you better learn quickly if you want to stay with him.

He is a very busy man, so a clingy s/o annoys him. Yes, he loves the attention you give him, but what is too much might trigger him and you don't want an angry Richard.

Jackson Jasper (Pansexual)

Type: Warm/Caring Dominant

Being his s/o is much simpler than Richards because Jackson doesn't expect you to be perfect in all departments, he understands the fact that we all have flaws, but he does have certain expectations.

His type of s/o would have to be a housewife type or househusband seeing how he doesn't discriminate. Love is love, or in case what he wants he gets and he expects you to play that role; cleaning the house, doing the laundry, cooking breakfast and dinner.

He loves a clingy s/o, mostly because he is touch-starved and even when he goes on work trips with the truck he will pull you along, if the trips are short, after all.... There are animals and his dog, Jackpot that needs to be taken care.

Down and dirty; he needs someone who is more country-oriented than a town person. His style of life is simple, with no big technology. He does own a phone and a television, but that's about it. A s/o who isn't put off by a farm like life, someone who doesn't bicker about the mess the animals make. If you're like that, Jackson isn't for you, so you better keep the distance or he will drive over you with his truck.

His libido is pretty big, so an opened up s/o into sexual activities is a big must. A s/o that is all down to have fun between the bedsheets or many quickies around the house.

The Hacker (Pansexual)

Type: Sadistic Dominant

The opposite of Jackson above; The Hacker is a big city guy, surrounded by all technology and hates the rural areas; no Wifi? Fuck off. He lives in New York and the city that never sleeps is his favorite territory.

When it comes to  s/o type he needs someone exciting, someone, that is a constant rollercoaster. He is dominant, but having a complete submissive s/o that follows his every command is boring after one week. If you want to be his s/o, you will need to come with something new every once in a while, be it regular activities like going to a club, playing laser tag to all kinds of new kinks in the bedroom.

Someone smart; he has a genius-level intellect, so if you want to maintain a long-term relationship with him, you will have to get your smarts on. 

No nagging! He understands the fact that a relationship has its ups and downs, but don't tell him every 10 minutes to pick up his clothes from the floor, or that he should empty the ashtray from cigarettes and not to mention the cans of energy drinks from around his desk. He will do that! Don't tell him what to do constantly or he will make you disappear.

Bambi Miller (Bisexual)

Type: Caring Dominant/Playful Submissive

Her type of s/o has to be someone with manners because she is sick of the sleazy bastards and vain hookers in her hometown. She needs someone who respects her as she will respect them.

A warm and familist s/o; she has been an orphan since birth and she doesn't know what a family feels like. She wants what she didn't have as a child or teenager, someone that she can form an emotional bond. She did have sexual relationships, but the lack of the emotional prospect has left her with a bitter taste.

Someone old-school style; she doesn't need all the luxury life has to offer, she will be just content with a nice modest house that has a roof. She appreciates the smallest things life has to offer, even if it's just a pillow she can sleep on. 

Someone energetic and fun; she loves to go out and enjoy herself, playing darts, dancing, and having a couple of drinks, but be respectful towards her if it's the first date. She doesn't enjoy someone's hands inside her pants just like that out of the blue.

A s/o that can offer her assurance as in that she isn't alone, that life can change for the better, and just simply holds her in the morning on the front porch drinking coffee.

Dave Anthony (Pansexual)

Type: Insane/Cruel Dominant

His type of s/o would have to be human and small, considering he is over 7'0 tall that should work for almost everyone. He needs a s/o that doesn't break that easily and can keep up with his sadistic shenanigans; a masochistic s/o would be perfect for him.

His s/o can be anywhere; if the s/o entered his asylum, it's all done. You can be in Asia and he will simply teleport there. Your soul is bound now to him. There is no escape.

He isn't picky when it comes to a s/o, so almost anyone will do, but he does have some rules. He doesn't want someone evil for a s/o. He is attracted to purity. It's ironic seeing how evil he was as a human and more so as a poltergeist.

A feisty s/o perhaps? Just so he can break them, that's entertainment for him. What's the point of a s/o who is already broken? He cannot play with a broken toy.

Samuel Grayson (Straight and Demisexual)

Type: Attentive Dominant

A complete opposite of Dave; Samuel's s/o has to have a pure heart, but he won't hurt his s/o, unlike Dave. Samuel kills only the ones that are plagued by sins. A genuine s/o with a heart of gold is perfect for him, someone who can light his black and cold heart.

A loyal s/o; he hates cheating, so if you want to be with him, you better give up on dating, flirting, and all that. He hates liars and he will know if you cheated.

A s/o that loves dogs, seeing how almost half of his being are demonic Dobermans.

As a human he wanted to have a family of his own, so he needs a familist s/o, even if said s/o has a job to go to, he is patient. He will wait for you to get home and watch as you take care of his apartment, now yours too. 

Gerome and Axel (Pansexual)

Type: Sadistic Dominant/Smug Submissive

They need an understanding s/o, seeing how they are together in everything, even a relationship with someone. You get two hitmen in one shot, so you better have enough energy for two.

A lively s/o, someone who is smiling and always in the mood for fun, even if it's day or night because these two don't have a schedule.

Perhaps a housewife s/o type? Being mostly away and on their jobs, someone has to take care of their beach house. You can choose if you want to work too, they don't mind an independent s/o, but just so you know.... They earn a lot of money from being hitmen.

A flexible s/o; are you a dominant, a submissive? Either way works for them. Gerome is a more laid-back playful guy, while Axel is the opposite, being cold and with sharp edges, so a s/o who can balance them would be perfect.

Their s/o has to be understanding; they are hitmen and that's what they do, it's their job and they won't give up on that for anyone. Take them as they are.

Damiano Liberato (Straight)

Type: Sensual Dominant

He is very picky and his s/o has to reach certain standards; a trophy s/o that he can show off in public only to assert his importance and dominance.

His s/o has to be classy, always put together, after all, he is a fashion mogul and he doesn't settle for someone who wears jeans and sneakers. No, no. Absolutely no. His s/o won't ever embarrass him like that. It's an insult!

Genuine adoration; because of his past, Damiano needs someone who stays with him for HIM, not for his status or money. If he finds out his s/o is a golddigger, then said s/o will be turned into a grotesque mannequin.

Manners are a must; not only must you look impeccable, but your attitude needs to be the same; back straight, always answer when someone asks you something, pay attention. Little things that are vital when in a relationship with this fashion killer.

Azment (Pansexual)

Type: Loving Dominant/Playful Submissive

Being her s/o doesn't require too much work, just your undying attention, and love towards her. She isn't picky about it, to be honest; just don't leave the mansion or you will die. Easy as that.

Mitch Carson (Pansexual)

Type: Animalistic Dominant

He is more animal than human and doesn't really have many expectations from a s/o. His s/o would be more like a captive than a love interest. He views his s/o as a form of sexual relief and nothing else.

He needs a submissive s/o that will stay by his side and even if they try to escape him, he will chase them down. You are his and his alone, so you better stay put or he will collar and chain you like an animal. 

Mitch doesn't have any humanity left inside him, so he doesn't understand the concept of a s/o.

Azol (Pansexual)

Type: Degrading/Cruel Dominant

Much like Dave... Azol is a supernatural evil being with a sadistic pleasure in hurting and inflicting physical and psychical pain on his s/o, not fatally, but enough to make them cry, so a masochistic s/o would be perfect.

His s/o would have to be someone who is pretty much alone, and if they are not, well.... say bye, bye to your friends and family. 

A sassy s/o could work for him because he loves a challenge and loves to show off what real power resides inside him, teaching his s/o their place is the best game.

The Shadow (Pansexual)

Type: Sensual/Sadistic Dominant

Being a dominant, he needs a s/o who is submissive, playing the obedient housewife or better yet, maid; he has a busy life and is constantly working, so someone needs to keep his house spotless.

An intellectual s/o is a must; well not as intellectual as him, because he is a master genius and he knows it, but he doesn't want a mindless s/o that he needs to tell them what to do every five seconds.

His s/o won't need to work. He provides more than enough for both of you, all his s/o has to do is take care of his house, make dinner and be at his beck and call when the more.... lustful side comes out to play.

A respectful s/o; all childhood he has been criticized by the people that should have loved him. Don't question him, because what he does is for his and your best. Just stay by his side, loyal and things will be just fine.

He is a traditional type of guy, and doesn't get the idea of nowadays modern things and fashion; a vintage-like s/o would be perfect for him, decent and presentable.

Bahini Talibah (Straight and Demisexual)

Type: Caring/Loving Submissive

A s/o that would be perfect for her is someone with lots of patience and understanding because she has been through a worse ordeal in the love department and it takes time for her to trust someone on that level.

Someone who is simple; she doesn't need a perfect husband with money and all that material nonsense. She wants someone who will unconditionally care for her, be by her side when she needs emotional support.

A s/o that is a good listener. She has a lot to tell you, once you earned her trust, and to understand her better you need to hear out her stories because she has many interesting things to tell you, after all....she is over 100 years old.

Honesty; an honest s/o who will tell her everything they have on their heart, even if it's choosing a tv program, just be honest that you want to watch something else. 

Xaviera Lah-Mo (Straight)

Type: Obedient Submissive/Cheeky Dominant

She is a free spirit and needs someone who will match her wild soul, someone who isn't afraid to get into the far more dangerous part of the world; after all.... She is flirting with danger a lot; hunting poachers, observing wild animals that can kill her if she isn't careful.

A protective s/o; she can take care of herself, being good with the sniper rifle and into archery, but she lacks the strength into the body to body fight. It makes her feel loved to be protected.

Someone with a rough edge; she is spending most of her time in the wildness, far FAR away from the big cities. She prefers the quietness and tranquility of nature. A s/o that isn't fazed by few scratches or hard physical work, a strong s/o.

Someone with a sense of humor; she wants someone that can make her laugh, even if it's just for a few seconds and that's a hard one because she is a tough one to crack.

[rmenvs3000w22]

Blog 3: The Role of Privilege in Nature Interpretation

Hey everyone,

I really enjoyed the content of this week. I particularly liked the supplemental ARES reading and appreciated the analogy of having an “invisible backpack” as I think it’s a great way to help understand and visualize the concept. I think it would be a really great way to introduce the concepts to kids as well.

I really appreciated how thoroughly the textbook went into different kinds of privileges and where they can stem from. I also like how it reviewed how to properly interact with people based on their needs so that everyone feels equally respected and heard.

I think privilege plays a very key role in environmental interpretation as it really can affect what an audience is able to interpret as well as how they interpret it. We all have a huge responsibility as environmental interpreters to understand privilege so we can ensure that what we’re creating or teaching is equally accessible to everyone. So far, my definition of privilege is “access or opportunity to things that are only available to certain groups or people”.

Up until recently, I understood that I had privilege, but I didn’t really understand what it meant. I wanted to share one really influential moment in my life that happened last year that taught me a lot about privilege and really shaped the way I think about it.

At the time, I was working as a technician at a vet clinic and everything was still operating curbside. The clinic I worked at specialized in reproductive medicine, so we would regularly have scheduled or emergency c-sections on dogs. Sometimes, we would require dogs and their owners to come in daily to do blood work and have an ultrasound so we could monitor the pups. One of our clients at that time had hired a gentleman to drive her dog to the clinic every day for these appointments as she worked and couldn’t take the time off. On one of the days her dog was scheduled, I was walking back inside from the parking lot when the driver of this client stopped me. He asked me if I had ever been to Africa. A little confused, I said no. He then told me that where he’s from, mothers die when they have complications with their pregnancies because they don’t have access to doctors that can operate on them. But somehow here, people can get the same surgery for their pets 24 hours a day without a second thought.

The driver went on to tell me about his life in Kenya and how he had come to Canada to make a better life for his family back home. He told me that because I’m well-off and have white skin that I have a unique privilege to be able to make change in this world. He wanted me to go to Africa with him to experience the things he told me about so that I could come back and tell people what was happening there. I told him I didn’t have enough money to get there, but that wasn’t entirely true. I had savings for post-grad school and for my first down payment on a house. If I wanted to, I could make it happen. But I didn’t.

So why don’t we prioritize helping others if we have the ability or privilege to do so? I think we are all so surrounded by privilege that it seems like nothing is happening outside of our lives. We have such strong social constructs that tell us we should go to school, immediately get a nine-to-five job and save for a house to support our future families because that is what makes us “successful” in life. No one stops to think about the people our wealth was stolen from or the state of anyone else’s lives other than our own, because that’s not what we were taught to worry about. That in itself is a privilege – the privilege of ignorance.

Even if we can’t end world hunger or make sure every mom has access to medical care by ourselves, I think appreciating that we have the privilege to be able to make change and taking responsibility for the ignorance surrounding it are the first steps. Although poverty in Africa is a very different aspect of privilege than what we may deal with on a regular basis or what we’ll deal with in interpretive roles, the same concepts still apply. In our society, we have been taught to prioritize ourselves and to not think about others. We have the ability and the privilege to be able to change that.

Our roles as environmental interpreters can give us the opportunity to lead by example while we practice taking responsibility for our privileges. If I can understand that I have the privilege to communicate in any way I want, I can then use that privilege to be able to make my presentations available to those who may only be able to communicate in a single way. If I understand I have the privilege to be able to educate myself on whatever I want, I can use it to teach those that may not be able to do the same.  If we understand our privileges in life, we can begin to notice how we can use them for good. Through our other privileges, we gain the unique privilege of being able to help and make change. I think that is such an amazing gift that so few people realize they even have.

I am so appreciative of that gentleman that took the time to pull me aside and remind me of not only the things I am uniquely capable of, but of the responsibility that comes with those capabilities. We ended up talking for about a half an hour, and even though I knew my boss would probably get me in trouble for staying outside for so long, I also knew that what this man was telling me was one of the most important things I would ever hear.

It was. I now regularly work on taking responsibility for the privileges I have by taking the time to identify them and consider how I can use them to do good. If I do end up in an interpretive role, I will incorporate these practices into my work so that I can act on my privilege to make change – even if it’s just within a single person or a community. I was gifted such an amazing ability to be able to help others and make a difference in this world, and I intend to live my life doing so.

My only hope is that I can try to inspire others to do the same. 

Riley

[jxxvvxxkcrack]

Lee Jae Wook Vlive 21 June 2021

Stats

Total vlive viewers: 35675 Total likes: 2072339 Length: 1 hr 01 minute T-shirt: Unlock your life by Pars Co. https://www.parspars.com/product/unlock-your-life-rainbow-white-short-t-shirt/

He's on a diet now.

He threatened to turn off the Vlive a few times because of all the people who said they were not studying for their exams to watch it :P

He's growing out his hair now for the next project.

He had to ban requests for him to say fans' names in the middle since too many requests were pouring in for him to say their name. Don’t blame them lol.

Talking with fans

What is your next project? You should see articles about it soon Will you do more vlogs? It's difficult to do vlogs in the pandemic period since you need to wear a mask everywhere. What do you do in your free time? I eat a lot, sleep a lot, and exercise a lot. Can you donate your Jordan shoes to me? No I can't, and then launched into some anecdote about something about high school, which is unsubbed. When will you hold a fan meeting? Probably after the pandemic. "You're watching me at hagwon (cram school)? I will scold you!" And he did lol it was so cute. What do you do when you first wake up? A hot water shower, and then..? [unsubbed] Do you like overseas fans? Of course I do, I love my overseas fans. I'll come for you after the pandemic is over. Current favourite song: Recently, ‘Lost’ by Maroon 5 was released. It's the best. Will you do an online fan-sign event? That would be interesting! What's your MBTI? I haven't done it yet! Please do the MBTI! OK I will definitely do it! Can you do a bear heart? What's a bear heart? There's so much I don't know. Teleport vs being able to tell the future? This is an interesting question. I would choose to teleport. I live in the Gangnam area, and the traffic there is so bad! So I would choose 'Teleport'. (I didn't know he lived in Gangnam). Do you have a driver's license? Of course I do. Shoe size: 285mm Can you speak English? No, I can barely speak Korean well :P

-but in the middle he did say "Say hi to global fan" LOL-

Your favourite late night snack? Fried chicken, jokbal, and bossam. I spend a lot of money on food :P Would you date someone 7 years younger? 7 years younger? It's not a bad idea. I’m thankful (that someone 7 years younger likes me.) Would you date someone 7 years older? (laughs) It's a funny question. Why haven't you been seen anywhere in public? I don't go to many places, only to the gym and back to my home. Favourite snack: Goguma (sweet potato). It's sad, right? (Implying he's on a diet.) And then he randomly said he's tall but doesn't have good proportions (possibly someone asking why he exercises so much :P)

Do you like cats and dogs? I love them. I have a friend who has a shiba-inu called Chadol. It was so cute I went to his house every day to see his dog. You should eat more: You may not like me then! D: I'm studying Korean, study with me? I'm also trying to get better at Korean. Shall we do it together? (so flirty) Did you remove the mole on your neck? No, I didn't remove it. I won't remove it. What's your handphone wallpaper? It's a white wall with an orange stripe, somewhat Rothko-esque. He said he took it at his house's parking lot, and "It's pretty, isn't it?" Which celebrity friends do you have? (Playfully) 비밀 Do you like mint chocolate? I love mint chocolate. My friend told me not to declare this, and said that saying that I like it is a matter of life or death :P People say it tastes like toothpaste but it tastes nice to me! What colors do you like? Blue. Blue and dark colors. Isn't long hair uncomfortable? It is, but I will cut it one day. Your long hair looks cool: (Teasingly) I'm going to cut it soon~ Do you get along well with your elder sister?  Yes, I really like my relationship with her. Which of your characters is most like you? Lee Jang Woo from When The Weather Is Fine. (Is he that good in his studies? Lol. And then he said something about a unicorn, which I do recall seeing in the drama, I think he used "___ unicorn" to brag about himself to his younger sister :P) Jjajangmyeon vs bibimbap? This is really hard. Do I get to have soup with bibimbap? Favourite perfume: Can I say the brand? I guess it doesn't matter. Slow Dance by Byredo. It's my favourite perfume. Today's TMI: I woke up early and went to the gym. Do you ride your bike often? About 3 times a week? Oppa because of you I'm going to Chung Ang University: So you'll be my junior huh. (laughs) Oppa, can you close your left eye and point to your right cheek? (he obediently follows the prompt.. he’s really an actor lol) "You!! I almost fell for it! Gosh, my mum will pass out if she sees this." He revealed a two string bracelet on his left hand while adjusting the camera. Favourite dessert: Croffle? Croffle. I really like croffle. Current body wash: I'm using a body wash by Lush (only he says it as Lush-ee, which is just adorable.) Can you speak Japanese? I love animes but Japanese is so hard. I will study hard! When will you do a rap? I may try it one day. (I wonder if he knows about that old rap video floating around lol.) Dimples vs. Eyes: Eyes? I think he might be talking about his forehead wrinkles instead of eyes actually, so the translation is wrong. What animes do you like? He didn't answer, but said there are many animes on Netflix that he watches. Eating chimaek while watching the world cup? Eating chicken and beer sounds good but, my agency probably wouldn't like it. Can you say a line of Baek Kyung since it's been a long time? (playfully) I won't do it~ Iced americano vs. hot coffee: Iced americano. He said 'eoljuga', which roughly means 'I’ll drink iced Americano even if I freeze to death'. :P What app do you use most often? Naver? I have many things I need to look up :P Which of your parents do you resemble? Sometimes my mum, but sometimes my dad. Do you like kalguksu (knife cut noodle soup)? Yes, I love kalguksu and sujebi. Favourite ice cream flavour: Mint chocolate. (Bursts into laughter) Who do you like better - your mum or your dad: Omma. You thought I wouldn't answer, didn't you. (He has thanked only his sister and his mum in an award ceremony before lol. Poor Jaewookie appa) Oppa I'll date you: I'll reject your offer. (bursts into laughter again). Are you at the agency now? Nope. Please name the fanclub: This is hard. It (the fanclub) should go on forever, shouldn't it? Send an email to the agency. 5 year old Jaewookie vs 5 copies of Jaewook?: Of course 5 copies of Jaewook. One to exercise, one to work, one to stay at home and eat.. Do you dip or pour sauce for tangsuyuk? But, why would you pour water on fried food? I'll say dip. Jjajang vs. jjampong: That's hard! When working, jjajang. When resting, jjambong. *Nods sagely to himself* (Although he instinctively said 'jjampong' first). When moving house, jjajang. What message from fans cheered you up the most? It was this letter I got. It said "you make us happy when you're working hard, but don't work too hard." It cheered me up a lot. Soju vs. beer: Soju Cider (Sprite/lemonade) vs cola: Cola Do you eat pineapple on pizza? I think it tastes nice! Hawaiian pizzas. I also really like pineapple. Fall or spring? Fall. I really like spring too, but there are too many bugs. Small but definite happiness? (He understood the abbreviation immediately, which is sooo different from when the Running Man cast are introduced to any new lingo lol) When I bike, I don't drink any water. I have a routine; after biking, I run for about 6km, then I drink water. That water at the midpoint mark is so delicious. Oppa I like you, please scold me: Why would I scold you. I would compliment you :P Good job. Favourite boy group: BTS. They're so cool (safe answer!) Ramen vs. kimbap? Don't you eat them together? How tall are you? 187cm tall. Which variety show would you like to appear on he most? "I have never been on a variety show yet. Have you seen Kokkomu? When I watched Kokkomu I cried a lot. My tears came out like diamonds." lol. In reference to an earlier question. No idea what Kokkomu is. https://newsbeezer.com/koreaeng/kokkomu-which-was-just-popular-is-controversial-due-to-the-copying-of-the-youtube-channel/ Possibly this? Beef or pork? Pork How long have you been tall? I've always been tall. Then he gives a cheeky wink! Oppa can you go on on Knowing Bros? I'll have a hard time talking in banmal in front of all the sunbaenim. I'll do more Vlive in the future. *compromise* lol. Oppa kajimayo: If I don't leave, the staff can't leave work either :P Can you fill an hour (of Vlive?): Shall we fill an hour? Do you want to be in a play or musical? Of course I do. Plays require the best form of acting. What's the first thing you want to do when the pandemic is over? I want to go to a pork belly bbq place and eat comfortably without a mask. What's the worst part about acting? Every moment is hard. It's not an easy job. Why do you always wear 2 T-shirts? I like T-shirts but, but my sweat changes their color. I don't like that, so. Favourite overseas country? Filming Alhambra was my first time overseas. I didn't even take many photos. I want to send you T-shirts: Don't, don't! while vigorously shaking his head. (worried that his fans will spend money) What is your life movie? I really love Robin Williams. It's not my life movie, but I love the Dead Poets' Society. Did you really go to Alhambra? Back then, my role was really small, so I didn't really know what was going on, but (I did go to the palace? is what it sounds like.) Would you rather be 3m tall or have a 400mm shoe size? Wouldn't it be better to be tall? (what’s the point of having big feet?) Oppa don't go to the army: I have to go someday.. I still have a lot of time, and will work hard When will be our wedding? Am I getting married? (laughs) Pepsi or Coca cola: I like any cola. I'll go to the army for you: Andwae it will be hard! Although apparently it's not as hard as it used to be. Are your family members all as tall as you? Yes my family members are all tall too. What do you do on your free days? I'm a freelancer so I don't have free days.  How do you keep your skin looking so young? Lancome (he's now promoting Lancome). I came here right after a Lancome event. I really like Lancome. Tell me about your bracelet: I'll ask my stylist later :P When you come to Pohang I'll guide you!: I love gwamegi! (half-dried Pacific saury) Do you like to cook? I really like to cook. I love it so much even when people tell me not to cook, I will still cook. Oppa come to my school!: Which school is that? Tell me. Although I probably won't be able to read it. (cheeky smile). I'm really mean now, aren’t I. Favourite side dish? I like them all. Mokpo: Dodosolsollalasol was filmed in Mokpo. I ate aehobak jjigae (zucchini stew) there and it was amazing. Do Vlive at home? I'll figure out how to do it! I'll learn everything today. You use black and white hearts a lot on IG, what does it mean? It's the color of my tee. Just kidding, I just choose a color of heart that goes best with the photo. How much can you drink? Should I bluff? If I'm bluffing, when I drink alone at home, about 3 bottles? Just kidding, I get drunk after about 1.5 bottles (of soju). Favourite sports: Skiing, swimming, bowling. Was it hard to use a dialect in the Battle of Jangsari? Using a dialect was really hard. Can you do an IG live? I'm scared to do live - you can't make a mistake when all of you are watching. I have to be careful. Why aren't you seen in public? I answered that earlier, you are late. LOL. Your best dish? Western food? Something like risotto? Plans to film a movie? I want to but I should get offered first. Joking. Lol. I was told off for being late (the commenter above): Haha sorry.

Best fan questions/comments:

Live as a hamster or a ham forever?

Your pimples are so cute (mistranslation, she meant 'dimples'): "I have 4 dimples."

Don't smile, you'll give me a heart attack: I'm also having a heart attack seeing so many fans. I like it (that there are many fans on the vlive) but it's also scary. So cute.

Are you a microwave? You melted my heart: You're all so witty, jjinjjaru..

I'll make money. You just cook: You're so funny..

[jilytho]

and they were roomates

Jily/Marauders roomate thing just for fun. Happy Jilytober!!!! 

Read below or on AO3 of FFNT

Moving in together had always been the plan. The Marauders, out in the real world. Throughout Uni they were always forced to split up into different apartments in groups of two, usually ending with Sirius and James in one apartment and Remus and Peter sharing one down the hall. Remus insisted it be that way because he insisted he wouldn’t be able to focus on schoolwork if he had to deal with his idiot of a boyfriend 24hours a day but separate apartments in no way made them spend any less time together. James swears he spent more nights on the floor of Remus and Peter’s kitchen than in his bed. Still, once they were done with school and off in the Real World having an apartment for all of them to live in was the ultimate goal. 

They set out to look for a spot that was nice enough to fit the bizarrely high standards of Sirius, while still not breaking the bank for Remus or Peter who insisted on paying their own way without any help. 

It was Remus who ended up finding their place, somewhat dodgy area of town but right down the street from his favorite Thai takeout place, three coffeeshops with adequate reading vibes within a four block radius, and a seven minute commute for Remus to get to the lab everyday. 14C was a once cute three bedroom apartment now covered in years of dust and grime and now officially theirs.

Sirius and Remus claimed the master with its very own ensuite so James could stop having to pick Sirius’s hair out of the shower. It wasn’t a perfect set up but they all found ways to mesh together and make it just right and just theirs. Peter was immediately made interior designer and found a couch and two armchairs off of craigslist so that they could stop sitting on the floor in front of the TV. James was in charge of the kitchen and bought real utensils and bowls so Sirius would stop pouring his cereal onto frisbees. Remus developed his very own homemade cleaner filled with bleach and alcohol and was likely poison in a bottle but it somehow made the beige counters white and sparkling. 

Technically James and Sirius were the only names actually on the lease, a Sirius suggestion, so that if they were ever late on rent it wouldn’t impact the credit Remus had spent so long building up. It had the added benefit of Peter and Remus not having to worry if their paycheck was being delayed and they had to pay Sirius or James a few days late because the boys were always good for it. 

Being adults in the real world never stopped any of them from still behaving like children. Sirius refused to take out the trash so James took to dumping the trash on his head while he was sleeping, and accidentally got day old noodles onto Remus’ pillow. They broke two TVs during two separate games of indoor football and Peter was a world class baker but was the worst at cleaning in the whole flat and left flour everywhere, constantly. But still, they were happy. They ate dinner together almost every night and had movie nights on Thursdays. Peter and James invested in heavy duty ear plugs within three weeks of moving in and realizing just how thin the walls were. 

After a full year of making Apartment 14C home, the lease was up they unanimously decided to resign because this was their place. But then one day they wake up to find that Pete has his bags packed and is all “I got a job across the country bye”. They want to fight him and Remus, always the logical one, brings up that they literally just signed for a whole year and are only 20 days into this new lease. And Peter, the little slimy rat, smirked and said “Not my name on the lease, not my problem” and just left. 

They learn from Facebook that he was working for some politician that stands for everything the boys do not. The kind of politician who would actively root against the happiness and togetherness of Sirius and Remus. Once they learn that, they are officially done missing him. 

At some time in the middle of the night all the pictures that Peter was in from school are mysteriously replaced with pictures of James’s cat. 

Sirius wants to keep He-Who-We-Do-Not-Talk-About’s bedroom empty and make it into a yoga studio/library combo but Remus says that it's ridiculous to pay that much extra in rent and he refuses to let Sirius pay for the room and so the roommate hunt begins. 

Everyone they met with was either too sweaty or too loud or was great on paper but had a super distinct death like scent so the room sat empty for almost a full month. James was content to let it stay that way and just keep finding reasons because it was good with just the three of them. They weren’t the same and James was sometimes a third wheel but these were his brothers, he didn’t need anyone else. 

It stays empty until one day, Remus comes home from work one day saying that he has a friend from class, a nice well mannered and smart girl who would pay her rent on time but is in urgent need of getting off of her sister and terrible brother in laws couch before she “sets it and the house on fire”. Sirius isn’t sure he wants someone willing to commit arson moving in across the hall from him but a quick look from Remus shut him up and he was suddenly all for the mystery girl coming in. Remus said she would be moving in in three hours and would James be available to help her carry in her bags? James felt slighted that he wasn’t even given a vote or a chance to meet the girl, but that was mostly because despite Peter leaving and betraying them, James is loyal to a fault and still saw the room as Pete’s room and Pete’s stool in the kitchen despite the fact that the lying bastard just took off with no warning and changed his phone number and was a traitorous little bastard. Still, he couldn’t argue the point too much or he’d look stupid so fine, let the new girl move in but “Remus I swear, make it clear that this is just temporary until she figures it out and we find someone else we can all agree on”. He decided he just wouldn’t hang out with the new girl. They’d be apartment mates but they wouldn’t be friends.

She shows up with seven boxes and three bottles of wine to her name. James’s mouth is full of pasta when she introduces herself to him and he is so startled by the green of her eyes that he swallows without chewing and starts hacking noodles up while waving hello as she watches, green eyes wide with concern and amusement, hand still held out to shake. 

The first week after she moves in, he avoids her like the plague. He mentally insists that he has no need to get to know her because this is just temporary and she is going to find a new place and it doesn't matter how green her eyes are if he just doesn’t look at them. 

By the start of the second week, it stopped mattering if he didn’t directly interact with her because she was still everywhere. The living room was transformed from a bare bones TV and couch room to completely cozy with scented candles and fuzzy blankets and fun, colorful throw pillows that James instantly became obsessed with. He couldn’t lie and say he didn’t love the lemon scented soap in the kitchen or how she always made sure there was coffee in the pot for him or how the scent of her rose body wash somehow fills the whole apartment everytime she showers and is amazing or how the whole apartment just felt warmer and better now that she was there. 

He stopped getting surprised when she found ways to just fit with them. He always thought Peter worked well with them, they were brothers of course, but now he couldn’t help feeling like Peter had been a square peg squeezing into a circle hole. He fit but it was also just a little tight or tense or unequal. Lily, on the other hand, clicked in just right. She was instantly just one of them, even before James had accepted it. On her 10th day of living with them (a celebration Sirius insisted required an ice cream cake) all reservations about her completely imploded because there was no arguing that she belonged with them and they belonged with her. When he woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, he wasn’t at all shocked to find her and Remus reviewing chemical formulas at 3am on a Tuesday. Like of course they were, why wouldn't they be. It felt even less surprising that he just walked himself over and sat on the ground in front of her and stole her flashcards so he could quiz them both. It felt only natural when he saw her and Sirius getting ready to go to spin class together, even though Sirius never brings James to spin class with him anymore because of the one time he fell off his bike and caused a ruckus. He’s barely even confused when he ends up at a sunrise yoga class with her even though he had never been awake to see sunrise a day in his life. He’s even less surprised to learn that he enjoyed it immensely and had never been so happy to be up that early. He tells himself that it's just the impact of the yoga that he is in such a good mood but knows it has a lot more to do with the laughing goddess in the downward dog next to him. 

They get glared at all through the class because he keeps whispering things to her and making her giggle and then he becomes so transfixed by her laugh that he loses his balance and falls out of his pose, almost toppling the woman next to him. She laughs so hard her face matches her hair and giggles every time she looks at him for the rest of class. 

And then it’s Sunday and Blokes Brunch easily becomes “Lily, let’s go time for brunch” and when she pops the champagne (which had always been James’s job but he couldn't’ even fight her properly for it) he sees the sparkle in her eyes so much clearer than the sparkle in the drink and he lets himself actually see her and oh my god did she look good.

It still hurts when they see a picture of Peter on facebook or in Snapchat memories but slowly their memories start to fill up with green eyes and red hair and lovely smiles. It is no surprise when just the suggestion of her moving out became criminal. It was no surprise to any of them except for James when she stopped sleeping in her room and started sleeping across the hall with James. None of it was how the Marauders expected their lives to be at all but there was also more joy and warmth and love than any of them could have ever predicted. 

[z-007]

A Journey of Sadism (mental and physical)

I was born in the 21st of April 1992, in Jableh-Latakia. But, since my father was an employee for Total French company in Syria, I grew up in Damascus. At the age of 4, I was diagnosed with Diabetes type 1. It was very hard for me at the beginning when I was a child, and my mother suffered a lot, giving me insulin injections, which I found painful at that time, and analyzing my blood sugar to inspect what did I eat if the result was soaring sky high. I hated her at the beginning, simply because as a child, I didn’t understand the gravity of the situation. At 8 years old I went to a school that is Sunni Islamic Pre-Historic School in Dummar called -Young Scientists- something that I discovered later on to be ironic. In Syria, If you weren’t good at school, you were cursed, you became like a Boxing Heavybag. They also used Falakas, the art of whipping feet. It didn’t stop at that, simply because parents became part of this process too, using any tool at their disposal in beating their child, chair, water hose, hammer, clothes hanger, electric cables, let alone being slapped on the face in a way that I started feeling my bones were shaking, and my eyes will throw fire, or kicked in your head and started bleeding. All of this, was because my marks in Arabic, mathematics, history and geography were not good except in English. It was the best language to understand for me, and the subject in which I saw myself to be a good student. As a consequence of that, I started losing control and cause trouble to my so-called teachers at that time. Luckily in 2001, I found my sanctuary that took to a completely different world. It was the first time I saw James Bond in GoldenEye. I was so thrilled by the action sequence, the theme of betrayal and everything about it was cool. This was a turning point in my life to become a Bond fan. I also learnt how to sing rap songs like Faint for Linkin Park, and Bleed It Out. And all of my father’s friends who were French, British and Americans were impressed. It was something that I remember with a loving memory to those people. Later I watched the rest of the Bond films and the happiest moment in my life was when I found the complete DVD set in Tartus. Simply because no DVD store in Damascus had the complete set except one who was also our neighbor. The curse of buying films in Syria was that they were badly used CDs at the bloody beginning. It was very rare to have a CD converted from an original DVD. This greatest franchise in the whole world has sealed my internal wounds for not being a good student. Ironically, the mental case of mine came back to me when I was at High School, especially it was a time that determined who I am, luckily it passed with no harm to me, because a single mark changed future to some students .I forgot to mention, that the school principle when I was at the ninth grade, didn’t stop calling my parents and telling them not to spend a single penny on me, because he thought I will never be successful. But I brought a mark that was better than his children’s. In 2010, I became a student of English Literature in Damascus University, I remembered that I was not a bad student at that time with an average of 80 percent. But the Syrian Crisis began in 2011, the press was already screaming for blood and the political unrest escalated to the extent that we had to change residence. This was the bane of my existence to open my eyes and find myself in Latakia. I was simply cursed and hostile, because I didn’t speak like Alawaits, their accent felt like starving dogs, in other words, they bark. They are trivial, shallow minded wankers who had nothing inside their heads except clothes, mobile phones and narrating a fairytale about themselves having sex with girls and a horny 40-year-old women they come across and imagining penetrating their vaginas and sucking their nipples. I registered in Tishreen University at third year, I managed to transfer my documents to that platonic place. The professors didn’t like me, simply for participating in their lectures, and the fact that I spoke French, Spanish and a little bit Russian. As a consequence, I kept failing at University over and over. Moreover, I had different ideas, and University Professors are bigots and snobbish. Their opinion was the only one that matters. The impact of the mentioned earlier, had made my pain started with breakdowns, screaming my head off and security gathering around me like” what happened to you?”. Added to that, emotionally speaking, I had a horse sex drive in that Mohammadian society. Girls dressed in a way that said to male students, “come to me.”. The majority of women at that city showed their breasts, waist, legs, and what attracts me most their feet, especially, high heels, that gave them a very elegant look. For my good fortune, all I had in front of me was Pornographic DVDs and websites, so I kept masturbating from 11:30 pm until 10:00 am from night to daylight. Still wondering, how men attracted them, I didn’t have any idea, and the question kept circulating. I also hated the idea of marriage, especially that I always loved to live my life the way I fathomed. I didn’t like the idea of getting buried alive by being a bloody father and spend the rest of my life with only one Angry Factory, aka, one woman. The psychological problem kept increasing and started with depression; taking anti-depressants for a while and go back to my normal life when soothed down. I kept taking them every now and then. Students were not allowed to know about their mistakes at any cost, this was a University rule. Self-doubt has caused me to go to a neurologist who started doing me brain scans, simply, I just wanted to know why am I that stupid, for failing continuously and still I didn’t get an answer. I was always deprived of sleep, studying my arse off and my professors didn’t care seeing their students DIE and SUFFER in front of them. Everybody panicked from me, always avoided seeing me, treated as unusual man. At that time, due to the fact that I kept taking anti-depressants, they became ineffective and stopped giving me relief. Part of what killed me thousands of time when I’m still alive was realizing that I cannot become an MI6 agent at any cost. I simply wanted to do 1 % of what James Bond did, take notice, that I was not pursuing women, I was looking for action and suspense. I wanted to be stationed in the heart of ISIS or Spectre and operate in the shadows to protect Queen and Country. I didn’t like Hasan Nasrullah, Vladimir Putin who looked like a Bond villain or Ayatollah bloody Khomeini, even Ali Bin Abi Talib himself, and that’s why I was also crucified for being a James Bond fan. Family and friends made a laughing stock out of me. I started dinking excessively, and suicidal thoughts kept recurring to me. They didn’t stop driving me to bring a razor and wound myself to death, it wasn’t the MI6 job that destroyed me the most. It was self-doubt. Doubting my brain efficiency and abilities, and especially that I saw students whom I thought less capable to express themselves in English than I am. My family tried to see the professors in Tishreen University-Latakia, unsuccessfully. I simply couldn’t have any idea what is the main reason I kept failing over and over. How could I develop myself without knowing my mistakes?!!, I later told some people that I wanted to be an MI6 operative, I thought that might sooth my tension, however, it got things worse. I started attacking the professors while giving their lectures orally and physically. I also broke the classroom washbasin, and the entire classroom windows, then security staff gathered around me after 3 minutes, they were about to send me to an unknown destiny, later, everything stopped after the head of the English department told them not to take any action. The last problem I did was with World Literature professor, whose name is Noor AL Araby, she was a real bitch, I remembered studying her syllabus for a month, she told us that Virginia is not required for the exam, and she brought it. As a result of that, I wrote her three pornographic stories on the exam paper. Stories people see in Brazzers and Naughty America (Porn films companies). Everybody got pissed off, the story was about to be dragged from my house to a security branch for torture. Luckily, my uncle who was a Colonel in the Republican Guard he had connection to the President of the University, told the professor to drop out the case, but she was persistent to have my balls for Christmas decoration. She spread what I wrote her on the internet and about to send them to newspapers. My parents begged her not to and we had medical reports that proved that I had neurological and mental case. Then I was suspended from the University for years, from 2016, till now. She did all she could to destroy me to the utmost level. I was happy when I realized she got very agitated. Especially, there were students confirming that exam questions were paradoxical to the things she lectures about.

Suspension Time

At the time I was suspended it was a slow killer for me. Literary, I realized that I was the worst student in the history of the planet. I decided to follow Boxing, I remembered that I was fit enough for the game. I found out that I did well at round bouts on the ring. I could do sparring sessions, shadowboxing…etc. I was able to run at least 10kms per day, 300 sit-ups, 80 press ups and 20 pull-ups. I tried to be a champion but every time I kept persevering, in addition to that my left palm was broken and my right eye was wounded. I got cold and sick, and I realized that I had to spend at least 2 months with vaporizers, fertilizers and strong meds. I kept striving in Boxing with no success. I lost confidence in myself and felt humiliated. I said to myself, why didn’t I choose to work for the Syrian Secret Service, I went to the branches, and when they saw that I was discharged from the military because of diabetes type 1, they asked me to get lost. I was surprised when I found out that my dentist was an officer in the Ariel Intelligence in Syria, I told him the story, he said “this is not your fight, you might think that you can do well in the field, but your enemies are smarter than you, they know how they can take you down and destroy you once and for all. Second, we had people who kill targets, who can do silent killings, detonate and sabotage, whether male, or female, but they have nothing to lose, their parents are killed and very poor, working to make money, and you are a discharged, rich bastard and you want to join us. I’m surprised when you told me that. I was a James Bond fan like you, but believe me my friend, that the real intelligence work will never come up to your expectations. Once the film you watch finishes and the novel ends, go back to reality, what you look for does not exist. I realized that I couldn’t become an asset for MI6, or any spy agency in this world, I felt that I was under surveillance by my country. I knew that they could look at my messages, trace my location any time they wanted. That was not the real problem, suicidal thoughts and self-punishment ideas didn’t leave me. So, I talked to my uncle to send me to the Special Forces, or any Military Barracks to become a martyr, to take the bullets to my chest. I remembered when I drank wine bottle on my own, I told my parents that I wanted to wear a C4 charge belt and blow myself up inside ISIS. They were horrified, then I was unconscious and within minutes, I found myself inside the clinic, after I told my problem to the psychiatrist, about MI6 dream and the doubt that I’m under surveillance. He told my mother that I’m a Psychotic. I was injected with needles and medications that made me feel like cutting my head off. He also sent me to Damascus for electro-therapy (to take electricity directly to my brain). I also became a field of therapy by my Doctor, he was testing medications on me like Invega that made me shake while standing up. Hence, he decided to give me Zeldox 60 mg, second generation anti-psychotic. My only comfort was when I slept. Waking up to life while taking those meds was a curse. I lost my sexual drive (libido), I remember feeling dizzy all the time, I remember calling the doctor every time when I tell him about the side-effects concerning dizziness and loss of sexual drive, he kept telling me that what you say is incorrect and that it didn’t have any symptoms. By miracle, my father brought me lower dosage medication, life changed for me. I knew cat-houses in my city, every money woman I went to for an intercourse, they took a lot of money. They were abusing me. The sluts didn’t make me enjoy the intercourse the way I wanted. They were controlling me as well, and this is why I left them. After I told my psychiatrist that I reduced the dosage, he said that my condition will deteriorate. He confirmed to me that Chemistry in my brain was not right, then I told him to screw himself. Reducing the dosage had an effect as well. I remembered at a certain time that painkillers were like a bag of peanuts for me. And when night came I felt incredible fever in my head. I felt like being boiled alive. And I kept seeing nightmare afterwards, voices telling me that I will pay the price of reducing the medication dosage. Complete terror and horror kept chasing me for a very long time. After recovery, I logged into the James Bond groups on Facebook, they made me trivia to answer, did me a test about the James Bond 24 films from Dr.No 1962 to Spectre 2015. After I answered them all correctly, they called me Agent 00Zein. Made me an admin, and I had many friends from all around the world. In the 5th of October the global James Bond day , I celebrated with millions of the franchise fans. My great father, brought me a modern computer and IPhone X to follow up with these groups.

Nowadays, I’m not looking for immigration, nor women or anything else in this world. I have chosen to help my parents when they grow old, and help them. This is the best way I can pay them back. I decided to watch films about espionage world, read books, imagining the events and enjoy it fully and get my arse back to reality.

This is the only way; I cannot be punished.

I can imagine myself a soldier of 30 Assault Unit in Ian Fleming’s room 39 in WW2, or talking with Sir Alex Younger about my mission in VX or Whitehall. If not Sir Alex Younger, it could be Admiral Miles Messervy, Admiral Hargreaves, Madame Olivia Mansfield, or Lieutenant Colonel Gareth Mallory. And realize that” It was a matter of pride that the 00 Section has been chosen for this test. This painful experience kept coming back sometimes, notwithstanding, I have chosen to take with a pinch of salt, lol.

[toxoiddiamond]

T H E B A S I C S Given Name: Rafael Caleb Isserlis Nicknames: His family all call him Ray, but most people just call him Rafael. Age: 30 Birthday: June 6th Zodiac Sign: Gemini Birthplace: Sunnyvale, California Current Location: Barcelona, Spain Speaks: English, Spanish, some Castilian, a bit of Hebrew but not much. Dominant Hand: Right Education: He graduated from UC Berkeley with a Bachelor of Arts degree. His original focus was Computer Software Engineering, but he switched his focus to Drawing and Painting in his sophomore year. Occupation: Bouncer at a strip club, and he has been working on a comic book with a friend (Rafael is working on the art, and his friend is the writer/story creator) for about a year. They hope to publish and sell it at some point soon. Vehicle: 2003 Opel Zafira in silver. Not the most attractive car, but he got it for cheap and it has been very reliable for him. Worldly Possessions: Lots of art supplies, a bunch of comic books, tons of dog toys, a photo album full of family pictures (put together for him by his mother before he moved to Spain), and tons of blankets and pillows because he loves to be comfy~ Pet(s): A black and white Mucuchi named Oreo. Rafael loves taking Oreo pretty much anywhere that dogs are allowed, and Oreo is always very happy to go on adventures.

A P P E A R A N C E Height: Just under 6’ Hair: He generally keeps it trimmed short just because it is easier to take care of, though he occasionally grows it out a little longer so the curls really show. He’s never dyed it before, so it is his natural dark brown color. Facial Hair: He always has at least a little bit of facial hair, even if it’s just some light scruffiness. He does like to let it grow out more sometimes. Eye Colour: Brown with some flecks of hazel Skin Tone: Dark, though the tone varies depending on the time of year. He is quite a bit darker in the warmer months thanks to his love of the outdoors. Clothing: He dresses casually for the most part, lots of jeans and t-shirts (especially band tees). If he’s working, he might wear a nice jacket as well. He almost always wears combat boots, unless he’s going running or hiking, then he’ll wear comfy sneakers. He loves wearing beanies, especially in colder weather, and he has them in a bunch of different colors. Although he doesn’t have much reason to dress up, he does look great in a suit and has some nice clothes on hand just in case. Distinguishing Marks: He has a couple of large tattoos on his chest, and a half sleeve on his left arm. He plans on getting more tattoos at some point, but he hasn’t decided what he wants or where. Face Claim: Jordan Calloway

H E A L T H Physical Health: Rafael is in excellent health– he loves doing any sort of physical activity, especially if it involves being outdoors, so he's very fit. He works out on a regular basis and eats quite healthy (though he's not opposed to a little junk food now and then). He gets sick now and then, just minor things like a cold or a mild case of the flu, but he's never been seriously sick or anything. Basically, Rafael takes great care of himself. Physical Abilities/Limitations: He can lift very heavy things thanks to his weight training at the gym. He's got good endurance/stamina– he can hike or run for quite a long time before needing a break. He's a good artist with a very distinctive style; he is constantly drawing, doodling on napkins, just keeping his hands busy whenever he can. Addictions: No addictions to speak of. Allergies: Citrus in general makes his mouth hurt, but sometimes he eats it anyway because he just can't resist. Mental Health: Generally good. He had a very stable upbringing with lots of supportive friends and family around. He is lucky enough to never have experienced any sort of mental illness or any really traumatic events in his life.

H I S T O R Y Summary: Rafael was born in Sunnyvale, California to wealthy parents (his mother is an OB/GYN, and his father is a very successful software engineer). He was the fourth of five children. He grew up surrounded by a very loving family, including much of his extended family, and had a near idyllic childhood. Growing up, Rafael always showed an aptitude for art– he was quite a skilled artist from a young age, but he also had a deep interest in his father’s work and loved all things to do with technology. He taught himself to code when he was about twelve years old and even made a couple of very basic games just to practice. Rafael was always a great student, not exactly straight A’s since he had a bit of a hard time in his literature classes and some of the more complicated math classes, but he never got any grades lower than a B, and he always tried his hardest and studied a lot, did extra credit whenever he could, etc. He also always had a lot of friends and was a bit girl crazy in high school, so he was always dating a new girl. He was on his high school’s soccer team as well– the PE coach always wanted him to go out for the football team, but Rafael hated football and still does, so he never bothered, preferring to use the time to do various volunteer projects or just hang out with his friends. Thanks to his excellent GPA and a wealth of extracurriculars and volunteer experience, Rafael had an easy time getting accepted into UC Berkeley. He initially majored in Computer Software Engineering, as he’d always planned– but after a trip across Europe with some of his friends just before his Sophomore year of college, he had a shift in perspective and realized that he really wanted to focus on his art after all. He changed his major to focus on Drawing and Painting, which was a bit of a surprise to his family, but they were, as always, very supportive of his decision, especially since it turned out he wouldn’t lose any progress toward his degree. After graduating, Rafael decided to do what he’d always wanted to do and live abroad. He decided on living in Spain, since he had taken nearly eight years of Spanish between high school and college and was almost fluent at that point. He spent a few years just travelling around Spain, exploring, working odd jobs, meeting people, just having a good time. Eventually he ended up settling in Barcelona after meeting a particularly good group of people, finding himself a quaint little house in the heart of the city, and getting a job as a bouncer in a local strip club. He has been there ever since. Job History: He didn't have his first job until college– he worked as a barista at a Starbucks on campus for his entire college career, which he actually really enjoyed. Once he moved to Spain and started traveling around, he did tons of odd jobs helping out with manual labor, working in restaurants, helping out around people's houses, doing yard work, just anything he could find that didn't require a lot of commitment. Once he settled in Barcelona, he took a job as a bouncer in a strip club because it paid decently well and fit into his schedule very nicely– that is where he's been ever since. Fondest Memories: Lots of happy childhood memories, too many to list actually. One of his fondest memories is his trip across Europe with his college friends. Plus all his adventures across Spain and the various times his sister Eliana has come to visit him. Worst Experiences: His paternal grandparents both died in a car accident when Rafael was fourteen, and that was probably the single worst experience of his life. A couple of his breakups were particularly rough on him as well.

C O M M U N I C A T I O N Speech Pace/Style: Definitely not a smooth talker, but not super awkward either (unless he’s trying to flirt). He’s laid back when he speaks, not overly formal, always seems pretty relaxed (again, unless he is attempting to flirt). He doesn’t talk excessively, but he’s not quiet or shy either, always loves to jump into a conversation, especially if it’s about a subject he’s interested in. If someone gets him started on a subject he’s passionate about, he gets very animated and excited about it. Accent: American accent, which sometimes comes through in his Spanish– though his Spanish accent, for the most part, is pretty good. Favorite Phrases or Words: He says “oh snap!” a lot when speaking English, something that rubbed off on him thanks to his younger sister. Usual Curse Words: He doesn’t curse a whole lot– it’s not that he’s offended by cursing or anything, he just kind of doesn’t think to curse unless he’s angry or really passionate about something.

P E R S O N A L I T Y, M I N D S E T, A N D B E L I E F S Personality Type: ENFP-A Sense of Humor: Rafael loves to laugh and has a pretty open sense of humor. The only type of humor he doesn’t vibe with is super offensive or raunchy/sexual humor, that’s just not his thing. But anything silly, clever, wordplay or puns, non-sequitur/weird humor, all of that is totally his cup of tea. Habits: Rafael is a bit fidgety and always has to be doing something with his hands. He can be still if he actively focuses on not fidgeting, but it's a little difficult for him. He's constantly drawing on napkins or little pieces of paper, on himself, and on others if they'll let him. If he doesn't have a pen handy then he'll crack his knuckles or he'll kinda rock back and forth on the balls of his feet. He just really cannot hold still unless his mind is fully occupied with something. Fears/Phobias: The whole idea of ghosts or demons really freaks him out. He also sometimes has a touch of existential dread and wonders if he’s going to be alone forever, but that usually doesn’t last long, just a sleepless night or two and then he gets past it. Strengths: Rafael is a very caring, sweet person who is genuinely interested in other people and loves to help whenever he can. He is attentive to people’s needs and tends to anticipate those needs in advance, so he is quite a thoughtful person. In general, he’s an optimist who likes to look on the bright side of things no matter how bad the situation may get and tries not to let the little things get him down. He is also very protective of those he loves, and though he is friendly to people almost all of the time, if anyone is rude to or tries to hurt someone he cares about, he won’t hesitate to speak up on behalf of or physically protect his loved one. Flaws: While his optimism is often a positive trait, Rafael sometimes takes it too far and doesn’t allow himself to just be sad or angry now and then, even when it would be good for him. He tends to suppress any emotion he perceives as negative instead of actually processing his feelings. In relationships, he can be a bit possessive and jealous at times, but he knows that’s his own problem and he really tries not to take it out on his partners. Hopes/Desires: He really hopes to get his comics published at some point– he just really wants to get them out there, even if they don’t get super popular or anything, he’s just really proud of their work and wants people to see it. He also really wants to find someone he can settle down with (or go on adventures with), someone he can spoil with tons of love and affection. He would love to get married and maybe have kids someday, but if his partner didn’t want children he would be okay with that also. Self-Esteem: Super good, honestly. He has his moments of insecurity just like anyone else, but overall he is comfortable with himself and believes himself to be a good person. Religion: Kinda Jewish, kinda atheist. It’s complicated.

R A N D O M Sleeping Position: Curled up on his right side, usually. Boxers or Briefs?: Boxers Day or Night?: Night for sure, he is naturally a night owl. Top or Bottom?: Probably top more than anything, but if he was with a partner that wanted to switch it up, he would happily give it a try~ Partying or Relaxing?: This would be a really hard choice for him, but he would probably have to go with partying. He loves the atmosphere of a good party.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S Closest Friend: Besides his younger sister, Rafael's best friend is Isabel Maduro, a woman he met when he moved to Barcelona. They have been working together on a comic book series for a while now; she is a very talented writer who comes up with stories that blow Rafael's mind. They see each other fairly often not just to work on the comics, but to go on walks or out to lunch, or on the occasional hike. Relationship History: Rafael had a ton of relationships in high school, many of which lasted two weeks or less and obviously those relationships didn't get serious at all– Rafael was just kind of playing the field at that point. He didn't actually have sex, or a serious relationship, until his first year of college. He then dated his first serious girlfriend, and they lasted about six months before she broke things off because she felt he was more attached than she was and she didn't want to waste his time. That is actually how all of Rafael's relationships have gone since then– he always gets broken up with before a year has passed (often much sooner than that) because they're not as into him as he is into them, or he's just too much, being too intense, etc. As a result, he's now reluctant to express his feelings at all because he doesn't want to put pressure on anyone. Sexual Partners: Rafael doesn't exactly get around or anything, but he has had about a dozen sexual partners in his life, all of them women. Thoughts About Sex: Rafael loves sex within the confines of a relationship but doesn't have much interest in it other than that. One night stands, flings, anything like that is not for him. So far, Rafael has only been with women. He's been attracted to men before and he knows he's definitely not straight, but he's always been way too nervous to try and flirt with men. He has never come out to anyone but if he were to end up in a relationship with a man, he wouldn't hesitate to come out– his sister Eliana is a lesbian and currently engaged to another woman, and was readily accepted by their family, so he knows they would all support him if he ever told them.

P A R E N T S Name(s): Shira and Booker Isserlis Age(s): Both 64 years old. Social Standing: White collar for sure, and they are in very good social standing. Occupation(s): She is an OB/GYN who is set to retire in a couple of years, and he is a computer software engineer who doesn’t plan to retire anytime soon. Religion: She is Jewish and he is agnostic, but does observe/celebrate Jewish holidays and events. Quality of Relationship With Their Children: They love and support all of their children unconditionally. They do worry about Rafael sometimes just because he’s more of a wanderer than their other children, he’s a bit more aimless, but they know he can take care of himself. Living/Deceased: Both alive and in excellent health.

S I B L I N G (S) Name(s): Daniel Isserlis, Itai Isserlis, Tamar Huang, and Eliana Isserlis (soon to be Eliana Florakis). Age(s): 34, 32, 31, 29. Yes, their parents basically had all of their children back to back. Social Standing: They have all done very well for themselves, and are all in good social standing. Occupation(s): Daniel is a software engineer and works with their father. Itai is a forensic accountant and he has helped to arrest many white collar criminals. Tamar runs a non-profit organization that helps underprivileged children by providing housing, food, education/tutors, and after school activities. And Eliana is an event planner who specializes in weddings. Religion: Daniel and Tamar are still devoutly Jewish. Itai and Eliana are more like Rafael– they appreciate and enjoy aspects of Judaism but they don’t really believe in it. Quality of Relationship with Character: Rafael loves all of his siblings and would do just about anything for them, but he is definitely the closest with Eliana out of all of them. He really only sees/talks to his other siblings a few times a year, but he talks to Eliana all the time. Living/Deceased: All alive.

D A I L Y L I F E Living Arrangements: He lives in a cute little one bedroom house right in the heart of the city, on a very busy street. He loves being right in the middle of everything, so it’s ideal for him. The place was a bit rundown when he first bought it, but he has fixed it up quite a bit and although no one would say it’s luxurious or anything, it’s definitely nice and comfortable. He loves having guests over and has lots of seating and a large TV, plus a pull-out couch in the living room just in case anyone stays the night, not to mention a spacious king sized bed in his room.

[vanessakirbyfans]

The six actresses also candidly discuss what outsiders get wrong about acting, juggling work and family and how #MeToo has changed the culture for the next generation: "We're getting all the bad stuff out of the way."

A fiesta grandmother. A persecuted jazz icon. A grieving mother. A sexual assault avenger. A pioneering scientist. A girlfriend scorned.

On a mid-December morning, six actresses behind some of the year's most dynamic performances came together for The Hollywood Reporter's Actress Roundtable: Hillbilly Elegy's Glenn Close, The United States vs. Billie Holiday's Andra Day, Pieces of a Woman's Vanessa Kirby, Promising Young Woman's Carey Mulligan, Ammonite's Kate Winslet and Malcolm & Marie's Zendaya. The group, who gathered via video conference from homes and sets in L.A., Montana, Atlanta and the U.K., discussed the business side of acting, their weirdest pandemic habits, the dangerous Hollywood misconception about creative genius — and the fact that "how women's voices are being received [is] the biggest thing that has shifted."

Let's dive in. What's the most surprising thing you learned about yourself during the pandemic?

VANESSA KIRBY I learned a lot about silence. I hadn't realized quite how much "doing" I was doing. Somehow I hadn't quite realized that, when you're still, it's just as present, you know what I mean? And I think it's taught me to do less. I don't think anything else would have taught me that in the way this year has done.

KATE WINSLET I became, and still am, actually, utterly obsessed with sweeping my kitchen floor. But down to the point where if there's just even dog hair, and our dog is a golden retriever, so it's blond hair, but I've got this microscopic vision where I can see the dog hair gathering in tiny little cracks, between the dishwasher and the sink, and I'll be like, "There's dog hair, somebody, quick, get me the broom." I've just become obsessed. And I didn't really care about things like that particularly before. Don't get me wrong, I like to run a nice home, but sweeping the kitchen floor? I mean, who cares about that? So I've become a bit strange about the kitchen floor.

ZENDAYA For me, it's that I never really got to know who I was without work. I've always been working. I started working when I was so young, and I've always just had a consistent thing happening in my life. I just had never spent that much time with myself. I was like, "What makes me happy? What do I like to do other than work? Do I have any hobbies?" I basically get to do my hobby for a living. So it's like, "What else do I even like?" Facing that was interesting for sure.

What is something people often get wrong about acting?

WINSLET I've been doing this job now for, I realize, 27 years or something. I can't quite believe that, but I do find myself getting almost agitated when I feel I have to explain just how hard the job truly is … I don't think people understand that preparation can take up to four, five, sometimes even six months depending on the kind of role you're playing. And also how absent, I think, you are from your family. Even if they might physically be with you — which, in my case is nine times out of 10, I'm fortunate that they are — but emotionally I know that I'm gone. I'm just not there, I'm not just Mummy, I'm not just Ned [Smith]'s wife ­— suddenly, I'm this other being. And I do find that part quite upsetting sometimes, and I wish I had more of a balance with that.

CAREY MULLIGAN There's a bit of an idea, and maybe more even within the industry, that to make something great, people have permission to behave badly, the idea of someone being a creative genius … that they are so inspired, there's a required level of darkness or unpleasantness that goes along with that, that you need to put up with. And I think people get away with bad behavior because of those reasons. In my experience, some of the most incredible people I've worked with have just been also the most delightful. So that's kind of a common misconception, that there are people who have to behave badly to psych themselves up at work, or that the process is just sort of utterly miserable. I think you can work really hard, but ultimately … the attitude on set should be one of warmth.

ZENDAYA It also is a business, which is something I've had to learn as a young person. Because often you get into it just because you love it, and you just want to be creative, and you just want to do the fun stuff, but it is also a business. There are contracts involved and a lot of things that don't necessarily contribute to the creativity or contribute to this idea of the freedom you think you'll have. I have been learning that as I grow up that there are bigger entities involved … money people … I often encourage young people who do want to do this to read your contracts, be aware, have those conversations, ask as many questions as you can, try to get advice from people, because it's easy to get stuck in a bad situation. And having that knowledge is really, really important.

GLENN CLOSE A lot of people think that anyone can do it. And of course, there have been documentaries and even some movies of people who are not trained as actors — I think that can happen in movies. I really take my craft seriously, and I think people don't know what they're talking about when they think that anyone could do it. I once had a brain surgeon who was the father of one of my daughter's middle school friends … He asked if he could come over and pick my brain about something. And so I said, "Sure," and he came over and he said, "I find being a brain surgeon depressing, I really want to be an actor."

WINSLET Oh my God.

CLOSE And it was all I could do to not throw him out of my house. He said, "But I have to make a living, so how do I do it?" It was astounding to me that he would have such an ignorant idea of what acting was. So I think, for longevity, it is a craft, and I take great pride. There's always something new to learn every day, but it is something that really does count. When you task yourself with becoming, looking through the eyes of another person and telling a story that will have emotional impact, that is craft.

Andra, how did you go about finding the voice of Billie Holiday?

ANDRA DAY Well, first she is very familiar to me just because she is my foremost musical inspiration. I worked with this amazing dialect coach, Thom Jones … Through the breath, that was a huge thing. I remember him always talking about, "Where it is coming from? How is she breathing?" And the emotional part of it as well, too. I look at Billie Holiday's voice as a scroll. And on her voice is written her entire history, every time she had been raped, every time she had been hit, every time she had victoriously sang "Strange Fruit," every time she smoked a cigarette and every time she slammed heroin or did a speedball. Everything is written onto her voice. It was also important for me not to do an impersonation. And that's something [director] Lee [Daniels] spoke to me about, too, we don't want to impersonate her, but sort of bring me through her. … I feel the same way about acting, that not everyone can do it. To be honest with you, I did not think that I could do it, and I'm still a little on the fence about it.

I don't think after seeing this film anyone will have any question about whether you can do it. Let's talk a bit about physical transformation for a character. Glenn, in Hillbilly Elegy, you're physically transformed. How did finding the look of that character help you?

CLOSE I began personally not wanting to be distracted by my own face. I wanted to have very subtle differences so that it was an experience, that you get into the full hair and makeup and costume, and there she is, because she's very different from who I was. But we started with a portrait of Mamaw and just the glasses, the hair, the ears, I changed my nose a little bit. And it was very, very finessed work to make it subtle enough that it wasn't me, but not so … I didn't want people to say, "Oh, there's Glenn Close with a really bad nose." That took a lot of wonderful collaboration coming up with that. We had video, we talked to members of her family who were incredibly generous in talking about her. And I asked just very specific questions: "How did she walk, how did she hold her cigarette? How did she sit? What did she wear?" which is basically what you see in the movie. She was very much a larger-than-life character. "What was her atmosphere when she came into a room?" I mean, all those kinds of things that just was a slow buildup [from] the moment you walk on for hair and makeup, and you feel that there she is.

MULLIGAN With Promising Young Woman, [director] Emerald [Fennell] is very intentional about building a world that felt very enticing. You wanted to build a film that you wanted to see, not something you needed to or should see. Part of the way that Emerald first presented the film to me was this Candyland environment that you're in and that Cassie lived in that in the way that she clothes herself. She's somebody who is very practiced at living with her rage and her sadness and her grief. She's figured out that hiding in plain sight and looking like someone who's functioning, people tend to leave her alone. It's very deliberate that she has candy-colored nails and blond hair. First of all, she looks very unthreatening, so no one would ever suspect that she's about to destroy a life, but also she's someone that you don't need to check on. You can leave her alone … Her main everyday look was just a way of saying, "I'm absolutely fine. You don't need to look at me because I'm just generic, and a girl, and you don't need to take me seriously." Because we so often trivialize the way girls and women clothe themselves. It was just a very easy way of putting up a boundary between her and the rest of the world.

WINSLET Everything about [Ammonite subject, paleontologist] Mary Anning is so, so held and so internalized. I had to learn how to do quite a lot of acting with my posture, or the back of head, or the backs of my hands, or just sometimes my eyeballs. I had to really find a different rhythm for myself, because I'm a very animated person … The longer that you do this, the more familiar audiences become with your mannerisms and how you are or how you sound. I just try to remove everything of myself, and there were days when I would think, "Well, did I do anything or did I just do nothing today?" And it would be really disconcerting, but just finding a completely quiet, physical stillness and heaviness to Mary came hand in hand with the costuming of her and the look of her and making her hair a little bit gray and having no makeup.

Vanessa, you have a harrowing, more than 20-minute childbirth sequence in your film. Can you talk about what that was like to shoot and how you prepared for that?

KIRBY It was kind of terrifying, because I haven't given birth or been pregnant before. We have seen so many deaths onscreen, we've rarely seen birth … I ended up writing to a lot of obstetricians asking if they'd let me come in and shadow them. One said yes, so I went to a hospital in North London and was on the labor ward for many days, which was quite unbelievable for me. I learned a lot from the midwives about what the whole birthing experience is like. One afternoon, my very last afternoon at hospital, one of the midwives came round and said, "Oh, a woman's just come in and she's 9 centimeters dilated. And I'm going to ask if she'd mind you watching." I just thought, "There's no way in hell she's ever going to agree to have some random person sit in and watch this really sacred moment of her life." But she did, she said yes, and so I got to sit with her and watch her go through six hours of … I mean, it was just probably the most profound afternoon of my life. I never, ever could have acted it without watching her, because I saw her go on this unbelievable journey, and I saw the animal in her take over. And it was only because of that, really, that I then felt like maybe I had a chance at attempting it. When we came to it … it was so physical and it was such a primal body thing. We did four takes the first day, two the second, and I think the fourth one is the one in the movie. It was a bit like doing a play, really, where once you're on, you're on, and you can't stop. And there was something magic about that, because you couldn't spend any time doubting yourself, you just have to do it.

Zendaya, when you were making Malcolm & Marie, it was really in the height of the pandemic. Can you talk about how working in that environment shaped how you worked and how the set functioned?

ZENDAYA Obviously, we wanted to do everything as safely as possible, so we created a bubble. I was putting my own money into it, as was everyone else. We were living in a hotel that was empty. It was just us, because everything was shut down. We were in the middle of Carmel, and we shot in this home that was in the middle of nowhere. We weren't allowed to leave for obvious reasons, and in that time of quarantining together, we were allowed the time to work on the material. When we got there, the script was only about 70 pages, and there wasn't a third act. Through that process of every day just being together, sometimes in a parking lot, just working through every moment and having these really long discussions about ourselves, our characters, relationships … Being able to have that time, that space with each other to figure it out, was really, really helpful. And really not having any other distraction, just being in it every single day.

We only had two actors, a very small, small crew. So we're all doing like four different jobs. I'm doing my hair and makeup and using some of my clothes, trying to remember my continuity because we don't have any ADs or scripties [script supervisors] or anything.

Vanessa, you've been shooting the Mission: Impossible sequel. Is there a lot of pressure to maintain safety on these big sets? How does it feel different?

KIRBY My sister's an AD. She started on a movie in the summer, so I kind of learned from her what the new parameters would be and how to navigate. And I was so hopeful when she went back, actually, because it was a funny feeling, I think, for everybody suddenly seeing cinemas closed. All the people that you love and you work with are unable to work in so many different capacities, including my sister. It gave me a lot of faith. But, I mean, you get used to it. There are obviously many guidelines, there are masks and lots of testing and things like that. But it gives me faith in the resilience, actually. And I feel like we will get through it — I can't wait for the day when cinemas are going to open again.

I was skeptical when the #MeToo movement began that there would be any kind of lasting change for women in Hollywood. But now we have more female directors, we have intimacy coordinators, Harvey Weinstein is in prison. Some things that I thought I would not see have come to pass. I'm curious, what has been the biggest change for you, personally, since the #MeToo movement started?

WINSLET The thing that is shifting in ways that will absolutely be long lasting is how women's voices are being received. There is a space that has been created for a younger generation that is going to be safe. My daughter is 20, and she just came into the industry about a year and a half ago. And what's wonderful for me, as her mum, is just watching her have a courage of conviction and self-belief that is just unwavering, because she's entering a time when we're clearing the shit away from them, these girls. These girls are going to change the world, and they're going to be strong, and they're going to be powerful, and they're going to be fucking amazing. And that is because we're getting all the bad stuff out of the way for them and all they will know is to use their voice in positive, powerful ways, to lead with compassion, to be strong role models and friends. And that, to me, is the biggest thing that has shifted.

This is the decade of women championing and supporting other women without judgment. This is happening right now, and that has come as a result of the mass united swell that has emerged from #MeToo. We've all come together, everyone is holding hands and walking in the same direction. And, for me, that is the single most exciting thing that is coming out of the awfulness of the past five years and those extraordinary women coming forward and sharing their painful, awful stories, and the horrendous Harvey Weinstein. The time now is about leading in a different way. Young women being able to lead with courage — in a way that I feel I certainly didn't have, that sense of courage and companionship with my peers, in a way that I think #MeToo has done for this generation of women.

This year, we saw the explosion of the Black Lives Matter movement globally. And at the time it happened, a lot of media companies were issuing statements, making large donations. Do you think there will be lasting changes from that movement as well? Three years from now, will we be talking the way we're talking now about #MeToo in terms of concrete things changing?

DAY My hope is yes. And I hope that it spawns lasting change that moves faster than it has moved in the past. I'm hoping that this is an uprooting of this idea of, "OK, pace yourself, we need to make sure we make people comfortable." That's really not how you achieve lasting change. We can't survive like this, we will not survive. It ends in what? Our destruction, it ends in war, it ends in just unrest.

That was one of the things even on set, there were a few moments that were really quite disturbing, for the cast and me. We were shooting a movie that takes place in the '40s and in the '50s. And there were moments on set that we realized, "Oh, wow, that has not changed." It may have transformed, it may look a little different, lynching looks different, but it's not changed. Truth is going to be a huge, huge, huge factor in seeing lasting change, and sustaining, and transforming, and changing a generation.

As Kate talked about, with the younger generation, I think they have such a need for transparency that will actually be very helpful. Part of doing the movie, the Billie Holiday story, was that the truth of her story had never been told, because the truth of her story was intentionally kept from the public. The respinning of narratives for people of color, or for marginalized people, or for women, has been a constant technique of oppression. And I think that's going to be hugely important moving forward: We have to pop the top off of these things. And we have to tell the truth about them, and understand the scope of certain groups of people, people of color, why the scope of their pain has been minimized or retold.

The retelling of these stories also has to do with telling the truth, some of the gritty, ugly truth about maybe some of our heroes. We have to say, "OK, this isn't for the purpose of destroying people, but we need to know these truths so we can actually move forward and not repeat them."

CLOSE I just have to say I'm sitting here and I'm so inspired by what everyone has been saying. It's quite overwhelming, it's so articulate and so beautiful what everyone has said.

WINSLET Well, we've got you to look up to, Glenn.

CLOSE I can't tell you, it's very moving to me to hear all this. I've been an actress for 46 years, and when I think of the change, the monumental changes that in my short time that I have witnessed, the expectation is going to be phenomenal when we finally can get back to doing what we are here to do. I think there's going to be an overwhelming amount of stories and new ways of telling stories.

What will you do differently in 2021?

MULLIGAN The first thing that came into my mind was that I'm going to go to the theater as much as I can, and the cinema. As soon as we can, I'm going to sit around people and watch something together with them. It just shocked me how much I missed that. I watched a medley of musical theater on television a couple of weeks ago, and it just made me cry. I just want to be a part of that. So it sounds quite trivial, but I think that is something I'm looking most forward to.

WINSLET You know, I never give time to myself at all, really, I don't. People will so often say to me, "Oh, you need to get a massage." And I think, "What? Don't got time for that." So actually, I just have enjoyed, quite honestly, just going really easy on myself. If I had a week where I think, "Oh, I've probably had too much toast. Oh, well." Or, "Oh, well, maybe I should do some more exercise. Oh, maybe I'll do that next week." I'm just kind of learning to go, "Oh, it doesn't matter." It doesn't matter. Life's too short, just enjoy this time, and it doesn't matter about all that crap. I think I'd like to hang on to a bit of that, actually. Because it's easy in this job to have to live by certain disciplines, whether it's just sleep patterns or times that you eat, for example. And actually just letting go of all of that has been really such a joy. Not enforcing any degree of sort of stress or structure on stuff. I've loved all that. So I hopefully I'll carry that on.

CLOSE I came here where I live now [Montana] because my three siblings are here, and I had spent my whole adult life away from them. And we're now in the same town. So, for me, work is so I can come back home. It's kind of changed things, it's not like I'm waiting at home until I go to work. It's really, really valuing the work, because it means that I'll be able to come home.

Interview edited for length and clarity.