#but it makes my smile to think about
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Healing is realizing one reason Fugo from Golden Wind is my comfort character is because he beat his groomer to death.
#jojo#golden wind#comfort character#I saw him a year ago as an adult after not seeing him since I was 14#i legit didnt recognize him because I remembered him being bigger (because I was literally smaller when i saw him last#he looked hurt that I didnt remember him#i know its small#but it makes my smile to think about#pannacotta fugo#fugo#jjba part 5#jjba
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legends say jimothy t. kirk imploded gay style after the 7th trial in mr spock’s transfer-proof lippie experiment
#star trek#star trek tos#spirk#k/s#my art#spock#jim kirk#st#post tmp#pre wok#thinking about their gay ass life after tmp makes me smile#s’chn t’gai spock#james t kirk#reference to that one archie comics thing#i think there should be more post tmp pre wok spirk
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"I'll show you every day that choosing to live was worth it"
some of my favourite scenes from @hijinks-n-lowjinks' fic things i would miss from the other side . this fic tore my heart out fr but like in a good way and i wanted to pay it homage the only way i know how <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#I LOVE PLOTTING AND ALSO SCHEMING#listen i have a lot of feelings and i needed 2 process them and i do that by making art 2 target my mutuals directly#read my about it's there it's in the fineprint if we talk You Are Not Safe smile#i just . BITING BITING BITING this fic#the domesticity the grief the casual yet unfathomably deep soulmatism.......im ruined i tell u Ruined#so naturally i dropped everything#remember how i said lefts/rights r my enemy my beloathed my nemesis. MIRRORS MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE FHGDSAJFGJS I WANTED DEATH#i was like this is incorrect. no this is correct. flips them around in my head. no im wrong again actually#purgatory tbh but we got there (watch me be wrong again tho if i am wrong again i think i will Cry)#anyway!!! i don't have much else to say except pls read the fic and show jinx some love they 1000% deserve it this fic 1000% deserves it#i could only draw so many scenes but i would draw all of it if i could#fr i ws so paranoid abt accuracy lmao cut 2 footage of me looking up rice cooker models and wtf the colour 'carnelian' was#i hope i got everything right i hope i did it justice :'>#also if any1 mentions how megumi's arm in 3 is at an awkward angle. look me in the eye and tell me youve comfortably cuddled with someone#i will call u a liar
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DEAD BOY DETECTIVES (2024)
1.06 - The Case of the Creeping Forest
for @nix-nihili
#posted bc kenna said please 10 times and also peer pressure is a systemic problem#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#edwin payne#crystal palace#jayden revri#george rexstrew#kassius nelson#my gifs#obsessed with Edwin’s little smile after ‘how about’#kassius looking like she’s about to break character in the third gif#and Charles just being THE SWEETEST BOY#the second gif… he’s so happy… sobs for 30 years#while making this I kept thinking about his apparent mood vs. his shirt colour#don’t think about that though!! haha
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There’s something so sweet about this scene. Not only Arthur is surrounded by his knights, his friends, he still can’t seem to forget there’s someone missing.
And the way he approaches Merlin is nothing funny or sarcastic: it’s pure concern, it’s love, it’s respect.
Merlin admits he’s scared, without thinking about it twice, because yes, this is Arthur, the same man who makes fun of me on a daily, but he’s also my best friend, the man I love, and who I could lose, but I can’t tell him, but, oh God, if he needs to know I don’t want him to die. I’m the most powerful warlock on earth, yet I’m scared of Morgana, because she wants to kill Arthur, and I’m weak when it comes to him, I’m scared I won’t be able to protect him as I should (especially since Merlin has heard the prophecy that spoke of Arthur’s bane).
I like Arthur’s stunned face. Merlin is referring to his life. “You don’t care you could die?” And not only Arthur is shocked by it, because he thought Merlin knew his reasonings by now, knew that Arthur would never risk losing his knights, losing Merlin. But Arthur doesn’t care as long as his men are safe, as long as Merlin’s safe (because, let’s be honest, this conversation is nothing but a way for them to tell each other how they feel towards one another, without exposing themselves to the danger of this revelation). And Arthur needs to make something clear:
“Only about you.” Because Arthur brings Merlin everywhere like he’s a solider, a warrior, someone who knows how to fight with a sword, who’s an asset to Camelot and the kingdom itself, so he considers him an equal, someone he can sit with on a lower step and chat with about his fears, because he can be vulnerable with Merlin. Arthur knows he’s safe with him.
Arthur includes Merlin in his speech, and this is something that could mean, “Oh, so Merlin isn’t a friend, isn’t a brother, he’s so much more.” This scene is so impactful, because it’s one of those rare moments where Arthur shows how deeply he can love, how much risk he’s willing to take to bring peace to his kingdom and to his people: to the ones he loves.
And he knows his knights, he knows Merlin won’t abandon him, because he has never done it, and Arthur truly believes Merlin has no reason to do it now, even if he’s scared. It’s as if Arthur is asking, just to make sure, just to have the confirmation that they think the same of it.
And they do:
I wish I didn’t understand how much I’m willing to risk, and have already risked for you. Because this is why I’m here: for you and only for you.
The self deprecating smile, because Merlin can’t back down, he never will. He’s so frightened, yet not even the prospect of battling against Morgana and her army will make him run.
He has Arthur to protect.
The way he smiles, it’s as if he’s saying, “Why didn’t I understand this sooner? Arthur’s just like me.” But it’s the fact that they told each other this, they know now, after ten years, that they’re willing to do anything and more for the other to stay safe, to be alive, even if one of them isn’t.
Merlin tells Arthur. He watches him intensely, because Arthur needs to understand. He’s honest.
Arthur gets it, and he’s finally happy. He’s relieved that Merlin won’t abandon him, that he will stay by his side, like he always is, protecting him, fighting with him, and helping him.
Arthur smiles at Merlin like he’s seeing him for the first time, and he falls in love with him just that tad bit more.
#this is my favourite scene of them#there is just something so pure and honest about their stares and their words that does it for me#they watch the other’s reaction because they know what they’re actually implying#and i know that this show is simple at the end#maybe there was just something to show and that’s it#maybe the dialogues were written with another purpose#but as long as there will be something that makes me truly believe these two are canon#i don’t care#it’s in moment like this that you wonder because there is just something in arthur’s words#the way he puts it#the way he’s telling this to merlin and not to his knights because he wants to make sure merlin is reading between the lines#and arthur tells merlin to eat something to not think about it because now they’re safe that the other knows#knows how much they love each other#i like this scene so much and arthur’s small and pleased smile makes it all the better#arthur’s happy if merlin’s happy#and that’s all he needs#merthur#bbc merlin#merlin#arthur pendragon#merlin bbc#merlin x arthur
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i have this headcanon that percy and annabeth are raging accidental flirts. but not with each other. like. they'll go to the coffee shop on fifteenth street. and compliment the barista on his hair and clothes and tip really well. but only for him. and they have no idea this boy is absolutely swooning over them. or. each time they to go the bakery downtown. they take the time to converse with the waitress at the counter as they eat her homemade muffins. and are incredibly vocal about how she's their favorite server. and how much they enjoy seeing her. and suddenly they're the only two customers that can get her services for free. except, they just think she's like that with everyone.
#percy and annabeth are huge accidental flirts#and they have no idea lol#they're just talking with their friends one day about someone they met in a library#and go on and on about how much they love being around them and making them laugh and smile whenever the three of them get together#and their friends are like:#are you guys in a polyamorous relationship????#and they're all like:#what? no lol. veronica is just a really close friend of ours <333#but yeah anyways#this idea has been bouncing around in my head for a while#and i think it's so funny#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#percabeth headcanon#percabeth fluff#percabeth being accidental flirts#percabeth being someone bi-awakening like three times a week without even trying
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OH LIKE MONEY sorry i was just confused cause you sounded so sincere
(it wasnt that funny though i still dont really get it...)
EDIT, JUST IN CASE, IM GOING TO ADD THIS :
#i dunno if ill make this a scene but it *is* written with laios unreliable narrator pov in mind#smiling so wide#i dont actually have a lot to say about this one i think i put all the things i wanted to in it#twiddling my fingers. notice my details boy!!#🔥IMPLICATIONS🔥#chilaios
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Follow up with the vampire Armand about diet and exercise.
#iwtv#iwtvedit#interview with the vampire#iwtv spoilers#armand#a monstrous evil predator! playing with his food.#this set makes sense in my brain at least#armand smiling at humans getting eaten or thinking about eating humans.
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#my art#monkey d. luffy#one piece#dracule mihawk#sir crocodile#mihawk a little more moustachy and very OOC smile#the croc is from almost a year ago but i still find it neat#just normal drawings#hoping to draw less fanart and more original stuff this year. or at least really try to go out of my comfort zone#also plz no inappropriate comments about the croc#luffy and mihawk make good templates to experiment on. maybe cuz they're simple and shaped + wide brim hat#i seriously have a mihawk disease#i really like drawing low angles#i was looking at pics of tsurumi from GK and i was like mihawk could have a moustache like that#i think mihawk is the cutest guy in one piece.#April Edit: modified the luffy pic slightly. the shadow cutting off in the middle of his neck was bothering me for months
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Something that I've noticed ever since the Smiling Critters were introduced is that they can so easily be paired off into complementary duos, ones that are specifically designed to teach children fundamental lessons about life and self-care from two different angles. It's really interesting to me.
Like obviously you have Dogday and Catnap, with their sun/moon, dog/cat dichotomy, that stress how important it is to have fun and get things done during the day, but also that it's important to wind down, relax, and get a good night's sleep.
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Bubba Bubbaphant and Craftycorn were introduced as a duo in the Smiling Critter show's intro, and their dichotomy is quite obvious. They are basically the right and left sides of the brain personified. Bubba is the left side of the brain, logical, analytical, focused on math and science. Craftycorn is the right side of the brain, creative and imaginative, focused on the arts and self-expression. They represent learning and academia in all its forms, the different ways people engage with and understand the world.
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Hoppy Hopscotch and Kickin' Chicken form the sportsmanship duo. They are both portrayed as enjoying sports and the outdoors, but in different ways that highlight the different ways sports can be played and enjoyed and also what it entails to be successful at them. Hoppy Hopscotch may be loud and impatient, but she is also a team player, shown in her willingness to slow down her fast pace to make sure none of her friends are left behind. Kickin' Chicken, on the other hand, is laid-back, relaxed, and chill, the described "cool kid" of the group, but he's also described as having a ton of perseverance, more of a "slow and steady wins the race" type of person.
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This leaves Bobby Bearhug and Picky Piggy as the last pair. Fittingly, these two are all about how to meet the fundamental needs of yourself and others. Bobby teaches children how to nourish themselves emotionally through showing and receiving care from others, while Picky teaches them how good food is important to nourish the body and soul. Depriving oneself of either of these things only makes oneself and therefore everyone around one miserable, because those fundamental needs are no longer being met.
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Like fr, this is some pretty genius marketing right here. You have enough characters that every kid will have their favorite, but not so many that any would get lost in the shuffle, because the lessons each one of them would teach would be integral to the group as a whole. It really makes me that much sadder we saw basically nothing of the Smiling Critters during the game itself, because Mob Games struck gold with this concept, only to ultimately do nothing with it. :/
But I guess that's what fandom is for, eh?
#poppy playtime#poppy playtime chapter 3#smiling critters#dogday#catnap#picky piggy#kickin chicken#hoppy hopscotch#bobby bearhug#craftycorn#bubba bubbaphant#xi writes#tbh that 'slow and steady wins the race' comment makes me really wish Kickin' Chicken was a turtle instead#just to drive home that parallel even further#ngl i've been thinking about making this post for ages but i finally got off my butt and did it#me holding the Smiling Critters like Marge Simpson holding a potato: I just think they're neat!#it'd be a shame if the game company that came up with them never DID anything with them HUH MOB GAMES?#mob games don't walk away from me#MOB GAMES GET BACK HERE I HAVE THOUGHTS-
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Made myself a little reminder to print out and stick up on my bathroom mirror :]
#as much as the thought of habit encouraging me to brush my teeth is helpful on its own#I am FORGETFUL and unfortunately am not thinking about him 24/7 to remind myself to take care of my teeth#so now I can see his handsome face every time I get ready for the day and make myself clean me teeths!#yippeeee!!!!#dr habit#boris habit#dr boris habit#smile for me#smile for me game#s4m#my art
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(art from april 2022)
i was looking at my old submas stuff and realised ive never posted any of it here because i had my train guys obsession prior to being active on tumblr, so here’s something i made from back then … marnie helping out ingo
p.s sorry if the formatting is weird? i made this when i primarily posted on instagram so i made everything square, i hope it looks alright
#BY THE WAY this is intended to take place on pasio (region from pokemas) which is how marnie’s there#i drew this not long after i downloaded pokemon masters!! i loved (and still love) how they make characters from different gens and regions#interact in that game and it made me think of ingo and marnie talking somehow#because they both have difficulty smiling and iirc in pokemas ingo is self conscious about it#I THINK? ingo and marnie did interact after i made this but i cant remember im not active on the game anymore#pokemon#subway masters#ingo#emmet#submas#elesa#gym leader elesa#marnie#rival marnie#pokemon masters#pokemas#my art#fanart#EEK posting my 2022 art is scary#i really wanna posr my pokemon art though T—T i dont have time to draw much of it rn#or motivation
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Goofy lookin’ clock.
*❤️🔥*
#I think he’s a clock?#either way..#I love him.#somthing about him makes me feel fuzzy#and concerned.#like he’s gonna drag me into an alley and hit me with a comically large mallet.#but then again#i would die for him#HES SO FUNKY LOOKING#AND ON THE BACK OF THE CEREAL BOX#you really get a good look at his goofy smile.#he looks like his hame would be Teeter Tickingson or something#that’s what I’m calling him#i love it#I LOVE ITT!!#welcome home#welcome home fanwork#welcome home fanart#welcome home arg#welcomehome#welcome home neighborhood#my dandy doodles!
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i'm exactly as normal about him as I thought I'd be
#my art#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun vash#vash#tristamp#trigun stampede fanart#trigun fanart#idk the tags fr this fandom sorry its babys first trigun#im not abandoning jjk but expect more other stuff sprinkled in!! including trigun <333 including him <3#ANYWAY IM SOOOOO NORMAL ABTHIM IM SO NORMAL I PROMISE#im lying im sorry im feral about him i want unspeakable things done 2 him it was over the moment i heard his voice#but [redacted] thoughts aside#hes so fun to draw oh my god how did they make a character Exactly For Me how did they make one that ticks all my boxes#hes blond but like i can work with it i will get good at rendering blond hair for him <333 hes worth it <333333#i was cruisin along mindin my business having fun learning how 2 draw him and then i get 2 the arm . +24hrs to total drawtime#all my cheats ...my safety net of being able 2 use flesh to disguise th fact that u dont reeeeally know where tendons or joints go...#out th window. this prosthetic is practically an anatomically correct model. u can see EVERYTHINg#put my entire me into trying to figure it out h i think it is ok i think i like it#god i rly cant get over how he's just a combination of all the fun parts of drawing yuuji megumi AND gojo#he is the center of their triple venn diagram and i am EATING HIM ALIVE#sorry ill calm down .... fr now.... smile :)
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charles doddles
below the cut is notes for myself on how i draw him cause im SICK of being inconsistent !!!!!!!
#xmen#xmen comics#xmen tas#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#this lit started with just the notes page and then of course i had to 'test' my notes#i had an extra note about how i draw charles smiling but i just wanted the Charles Doodles to focus on the doodles#yk exclude the notes. the only note was that i would never draw charles smiling more than That open-mouth smile there#i dont think he should smile big too much and he's more of a closed-mouth smile kind of guy. comics/tas wise anyhow#lmao i love how i only ever do these kinds of doodle pages for charles and never mags#its not my fault i just got his face on lock frame one ok i still flip flop with how i draw charles jAELKVJEAKLJ#BUT NO MORE. i think this is how ima do it going forward <- literally im the only person who notices these thigns#BUT IDC i draw these things for myself ok.... i better make sure nothin bout them bothers me ...#i was gonna include a Sad Charles doodle but its bout time i go on my night run with my dog SO !!!!!! bye bye for now#have plenty more chances to draw charles sad in the future !!!
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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