#but it just makes me feel so lonely and I hate it sm
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dramashutup · 1 day ago
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I'm sure the cdrama version has more episodes as they always do but ofc when it's translated into kdrama they gotta fit it into 16eps 🙃, like, that woman had been such a thorn in San Ha's life, he even said he was walking on eggshells for 10yrs,
and what, so she's just gonna back down now that they had one (1) honest talk? One phonecall with his dad??
It was pretty cathartic to have Sanha finally say things he wanted to say all those years, (Hwang In Yeop, sir 🫡 that scene infront of the door) but...... that's it?
Idk if this is just me painting her as a permanently damaged character who won't change, or just me having had met a person like this irl that I'm looking thru my glasses instead of being chill abt it lol
Like, it feels pretty unbalanced how the drama paid sm attention to Hae Jun (i don't hate him!) which if, you could write a summary of his problems it'd be 'mum left because she murdered someone,and didn't want him in the same trouble, but she actually loves him a lot'
..... while Sanha's problems in perspective is more complicated than that!
(it's like the drama babied Hae Jun so much that it focuses less on the other boy whose life is also in tatters)
In contrast yes, Hae Jun's situation is sadder because he didn't have either of his parents, which is why in comparison, Mr. Yoon is more attached to him than Sanha since Sanha's father is present
BUT!
It doesn't really feel that way tho? Because even tho he's present, they don't really talk, they're the kind of dad and son that don't really communicate in That Way like Hae Jun and Mr. Yoon, so it feels like even tho Sanha has Both his parents,......he had almost neither of them to really help him deal with things in life; grieving, his anxieties, his mum being a bitch
His dad is not even actively trying to protect him from the mother.
If my ex has basically become a spout for abusing my child verbally, I would not simply stand by and let her. She's a menace to that child's mental and emotional wellbeing
Sanha is just trudging alone, especially because he's viewed as more privileged than Hae Jun because his father is around
(this actually makes me think that Hae Jun is more privileged than Sanha in terms of familial love; a loving mother, a not emotionally absent father?)
Talk about being lonely while not being alone
I think Family by Choice failed on the San-ha plot, which is too bad because it was otherwise a good drama.
We have the confrontation with San-ha's mom, where he basically says he was wrong for not showing how much pain he was in when he lived with her. Okay. Not my favourite but I'll accept cultural differences because, dude it's not your fault you got parentified and became weirdly mature, that's your parents' fault (both of them, where is Police Dad when he needs to defend his son?) And you shouldn't blame yourself for your sister's death, if you still do maybe go to therapy.
Just go to therapy in general, because He Has a Sunshine Girlfriend does not in fact solve all problems, especially since he never really talked to Ju-won about what happened to him which includes his mom hitting/scratching him and a massive burn scar on his back. Like why even show us that if we don't get to see what the girlfriend thinks about it. She's going to notice.
They also never made it clear what the mom was doing when she left them for 2 days (in the Cdrama she was gambling I believe), which I think is important
Far too much Love Solves Mental Illness and not enough San-ha being honest with this solving love.
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untitled-byler-blog · 2 years ago
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Spiraling again folx 🥲
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ichigosoju · 6 months ago
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💭💗
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kavehater · 8 months ago
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I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness
#There’s this specific part of the song#It srsly alters my brain chemistry#Anyways#i hate tumblr sm#Idk like I Gen hate being on here sm#No matter what account I make no matter if I tell ppl about it whether I don’t tell ppl I just hate this place soooo much#Like if I have a following it sucks because it’s rlly lonely if I don’t it’s still lonely and then if there’s nobody at all it’s lonely#Loneliness is what got me to discord boy so like :D#The fact I am genuinely missing him sm I’m gonna krill myself 😻🙏#Also I think I hate talking to minors cause these kids be letting themselves get groomed all the time I’m so tired of seeing it#The creep in my course is being so weird to Raisa who is a minor … I can’t help but think it’s all my fault … I invited her to the pharm gc#To show her how messy it was ….#I didn’t expect her to follow and accept requests of everyone …#Anyways I just am so annoyed. Like I wish I could have one person just one where I can be confident in being their no.1 but every time I th#Think I’m maybe somewhere high up on someone’s list of important ppl I realise I overestimated my position even tho I’m rlly self conscious#And being myself down over that. Also I still hate Eid. I hate Eid sm. How do ppl genuinely enjoy Eid. Idk if I’ve ever been excited for Ei#It’s like I’m just suddenly getting more sick of ppl by the day. I Gen don’t like talking to ppl at all even tho I used to rely on talking#To others like its sustenance now it’s just such a hassle to me because I’m so sick of being unimportant to literally every single person I#Have ever known. Literally everyone except maybe dahlia idk. the only person who has never gotten mad/snapped at me o is dahlia#And knowing my luck that will soon be taken from me too. Anyways good riddance to tumblr i loathe this site and im sick of the mind games#All the time from just existing on here. Gen makes me feel ill. I’m so sick of that girl I like and sick of everyone. The only time ppl car#Is when I cause a scene. And ykw atp I loathe being showed sympathy and pity for these sorts of posts because it just feels like a big joke#Cause why couldn’t you just care when I was fine. Why do you ONLY care when I’ve had enough of your bad behaviour. How does one make someon#Like me go mad with all these things#Istg if I come back to this dumb site whether to this acc to the tora one or my other account everyone has permission to beat me up.#dora daily#Tldr;I HATE ppl and everyone ever + I’m just sick of pretending like everyone doesn’t suck cause how can ppl be so insufferable intolerable#Insane horrible in every way and ppl like them. How do they live with themselves when they’re this aggravating. Every day I hate ppl more#Because their mannerisms their everything is just so embarrassing.#Essay tags 😻😻😻
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elmushterri · 5 months ago
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Heyyyy, I love ur au sm! It's really cool, and the thing I'm most curious abt, if u don't mind me asking, is romeo and connor's relationship.
I really wanna know more abt it cause of how many directions this could go. Like, does Connor still care for romeo abit even after he figures out that romeo is manipulating him, or is he just fighting tooth and nail to get away from him at that point??
And I know Romeo's first intention is to just experiment on things to make them "better" but did spending alot of time with Connor not have him form some kind of attachment towards him?
And are there times where they both genuinely enjoy each others presence and where romeo helps him, cuz it would be so interesting to see Connor going through something when their still friends where Connor hates and likes him at the same time in a way. Where he's like weighing out the pro's and con's of being his friend and questioning how bad romeo really is
(That's all, and thank u for reading!🙏)
LOVE THIS. Romeo and Connor probably bonded in the first place cause of some kind of act of kindness or something trauma related?? Maybe young Romeo (like 6-10 years old? I have no concept of child ages) was the one that rescued Connor from being in the pools/the showers they put him in to get him used to water. Probably did it genuinely as well. Romeo CAN be genuine. He was probably lonely as well, not being in school but instead having his mother bring him to the labs.
In the start he probably wasn’t even manipulating Connor consciously, just pressuring him into things like sneaking around the labs and whatnot.
But then Connor made better friends with Amaya and Greg, and Romeo felt threatened so he leaned into “Oh, so you like them better than me?” so Connor would feel guilty.
Romeo probably has times where he goes between, “I miss Connor, I shouldn’t have done all that” and “Screw Connor, he didn’t get it. I don’t need him,”
They probably do care for each other on some level. Like if Romeo got hurt, Connor would go and cradle him dude 😭. ‘Cause at some points in their childhood the friendship was good, and comforted them both.
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Here’s a little sketch. Reason Greg’s not there/why the kids are the same age as in present day but in GunnTech outfits is ‘cause this is probably in season 4 or 5 when the other heroes + Gekko are being mind controlled? Idk, Romeo probably pushed Connor out the way to take a hit from something or general self sacrifice science stuff from him. Maybe he took some kind of star/light blast from Newton? Real Catradora vibes.
It’s things like this that make me sort of want to redeem Romeo but I’m still unsure.
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cannellee · 8 months ago
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TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE (mythological au! #2) ☆
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୨୧ medusa! alpha! tokyo rev x blind! omega! reader (pairing : chifuyu, mikey, mitsuya, baji, izana)
— you meet medusa, whose stare can turn people into statues of rock. but you're actually blind so it doesn't affect you! what are their reactions?
cw : yandere!izana, baji is sweet++ and probably not representative, SA (mitsuya's one, it's not him though), deaths
(they don't have snakes hair, just the curse) + (it's sooo badly written pls don't mind the quality) + (baji's one is criminally short even though it has sm potential sorryy)
my masterlist : ☆
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ALPHA! CHIFUYU (love at first sight)
you really simply wanted to pick berries for the pie you planned to cook this afternoon. you would call for your friend to come with you as it's so much more amusing when you're not on your own, but she couldn't today.
still, you went to your usual spot, experienced feet strolling along the path you grew to recognise by heart. you bent down, gathered a few fruits and other sweet things while searching deeper into the forest until you heard the soft sound of water dripping down.
you walked closer, senses alert and nose breathing in the fresh air around you. once the lapping of the gentle waves hugged your ankles, you put away your basket and sat down on a rock you found while navigating through your surroundings.
you let the sun hit your skin and sooth your worries away, calmly closing your eyes.
when chifuyu was alerted that someone had crossed his territory thanks to the mouths of the tiny magical beings he took under his protection, he promptly made his way to you.
chifuyu valued his space, but most and foremost, he hated humans. he hated the way they would cower under his gaze, how they pleaded for their lives and tried to harm him any chance they had.
if his life was to be painful and lonely, he at least wanted some peace. foolish people who wandered into his forest didn't know their fate, or at least took it too lightly.
he first heard soft hums, and the unnatural splash of water you made with your feet immersed in the lake.
chifuyu was prepared to scare you into running away, to growl and yell at how impudent you had been for trespassing.
but upon witnessing your small frame and catching a taste of your sweet scent, chifuyu wasn't so sure anymore of what he had to do. although he was a huge hater of humans, hurting another soul bothered him. you looked harmless and defenceless, definitely not a threat.
you most likely lost your way, chifuyu thought. he expected a hunter or something among the lines, some gross alpha who came here to bring harm to the sacred place that was the forest.
but a peaceful omega like you surely would just go back to were she came from without any trouble. he sighed and turned around, already ready to leave. that was until his foot walked on a branche, making a loud "crack" sound for the both of you to hear.
"who's there ?", chifuyu hurriedly turned his head the other way, suddenly conscious about his eyes and what they could bring to you.
"you're alone and lost. you shouldn't be there", you laugh a bit at the man's answer, not feeling threatened one bit.
"how would you know whether I'm lost or not ?", he frowned when you kept your eyes shut, never sparing him a glance. when he didn't answer, you invited him to join your side.
"I can safely say you wouldn't want me to sit next to you if you knew who I am"
"you would've already hurt me if that was your intention. as you said, I'm alone", chifuyu eyed you up carefully before taking up on your offer, smelling the fresh berries you tempted him with.
"are you always this reckless that you would invite an alpha you don't even know to chat with you ?", he quickly took his place beside you, eyes locked on the floor and hands already digging inside the basket you put between the two of you.
you simply shrug, finally opening your eyes and turning your head his way before he could even react.
"I'm y/n", he looked in your eyes before realising and felt his heart drop upon doing so, fearing you would change into a statue in front of him.
but you didn't. your delicate scent he tried to ignore kept making him light-headed and feeling calm, your smile didn't freeze and only grew wider in a sweet way he found particularly cute.
he took his time scanning your features. a real flesh and blood person's face was looking at him. well not exactly, chifuyu now understood why you had seem so fearless despite aventuring yourself in a forest known for inhabiting a dangerous monster.
he couldn't recall the last time he looked at someone so intimately, without the disgusting feeling he had the first times he realised he no longer belonged with other humans. he didn't remember when he had the opportunity to admire such a pretty face like yours, without immediately changing them into marble.
chifuyu was deeply looking into your eyes and no parts of your body turned hard and grey.
he felt normal again as he introduced himself as well, his eyes never leaving your face, paying attention to the smallest details of your expressions, the way your eyes looked around and reacted to the sound of his voice.
you didn't fear him, you didn't beg him to spare your life and never once did you turn your head away from him, refusing to look at him as if he was the most horrendous thing in the world.
chifuyu didn't want to tear his gaze away from you, not even for a second. for the first time in years, he had someone he genuinely enjoyed being with, with no other emotions inhabiting hin than calmness, anticipation and a merry scent circling around the both of you.
he didn't believe someone he met a few minutes prior could make him have so much hope for the future, and such a growing urge to stay near you, the only one who would never ostracise him.
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ALPHA! MIKEY (a sacrifice for the prophecy)
you were beyond scared shitless, tears running down your trembling jaw. you clutched your white gown in the biting cold, slowly walking up the hill with dreadful steps.
you relied on the men escorting you for guidance, eyes covered with a silky material which would have prevented you from seeing anything if it wasn't for your blind eyes.
they told you you were doing this for the greater good, to save another innocent and indefective soul from perishing to the hands of the beast who pressured your tiny village to send him a person each year. what their fate turned out to be was a mystery, but it was evident that it wasn't anything good as none of them ever returned.
the tradition was old from centuries ago, your ancestors carefully choosing a bride to send up the hill you were currently on. they never missed a year, scared of the wrath of the monster.
they did try rebelling some hundred years ago, refusing to send another one of their comrade to their fateful death. after this day, they never once disrespected the wish of the beast as they coldly remembered the terrified looks of the thousands of teenagers who were turned to stone in a single night. frozen by the gaze of the man they now obeyed without a fault.
after this came a prophecy ; upon hearing the sad news, an oracle visited them to deliver the truth from the gods above. they listened attentively as the woman spoke, affirming that they were to perpetrate the ritual if they wanted to keep their people alive, until someone with a similar curse came into this world. only then, will the circle of atrocities come to an end.
today was your turn, no reasons were given to you as you marched, the lack of familiar surroundings was enough to put you into such a distress state you didn't know what to do with yourself.
"we'll leave you here. enter the cave, you'll find your way if you follow the walls." they pushed you forward, promptly leaving you here after threatening you to keep going. you had no choice but to do so, unable to decipher where you even came from, the walk was long and tiring, you knew you wouldn't make it back.
so you followed the path, fingers running on the wet and rocky walls, silence engulfing you totally with only the soft sound of your footsteps around. the floor was soft though, almost inviting and comfortable and you soon understood you arrived to your destination.
your heartbeats accelerated, scared and disoriented when a new scent hit your nose, yours emitting a stressed one.
"an omega ? they usually keep them to themselves" you jumped at the foreign mumbling voice, deep and low. you said nothing and kept your right hand on the wall, for a semblance of control of your surroundings.
"it's not like I care anyways. you can keep the blindfold, I'll guide you to the garden" and with that, a cold hand grasped your shoulder, forcing you away from the wall which kept you steady.
you whimpered at the sudden touch, musky scent invading your privacy. he dragged you gently to an open area, you could tell it was with the way the wind caressed your skin and the shivers it sent you.
"stay here. you'll look perfect with the others. I never had such a pretty one being sent my way", his breathe fanned over your ear, you felt his face dangerously close to yours and you kept wondering how the beast could actually be an alpha and not some faceless furry thing, instead he smelled and seemed just like any villagers you met.
you were scared. you felt small and defenceless. but you remained there, unmoving and ready to undergo any treatment. what would a blind omega like you could even do against the terrible beast you've heard countless of atrocious stories about ?
"it'll be over quickly. just don't move", and with that, you felt his big hands leave your arms and instead reaching behind your head for the neat knot the other betas women of the village had done while preparing you.
your nails dug into your flesh and left red marks, you hoped nothing of it hurt. you knew you would be changed into a statue and you hoped it was as painless as he told you. you trusted his words, despite him being the one inflicting such a deplorable fate.
the blindfold fell off your face and you opened your eyes in a blink, looking up despite not seeing anything.
and he looked at you, right into your eyes, shocked and confused. "you're blind ?", he asked you with a voice void of any confidence he had earlier, it came in a whisper, almost as a vulnerable affirmation more than a true question.
you nodded, unsure of what was happening. "my curse only works if you can look at me in the eyes. but you're blind.", he repeated, as if trying to convince himself it was real, that you were real.
the man drops the blindfold to his feet, looking at your face, your eyes, impressed by how much cuter you looked when he could see your whole face.
"you're... I can't turn you into a statue then"
"what will you do then ? if the ritual doesn't work they'll have to send someone else ? are you going to hurt my people ?", your stressed out scent hit him in the gut ; he didn't want to make you feel distressed.
"don't worry about anything at all. this place is perfect. nobody will be coming here anymore, you can relax"
he was enjoying the pleasure of finding someone resistant to his curse, surely you weren't leaving at all. you were his new companion.
you're right, he hadn't felt a human touch in so long, but that's exactly why he will be extra careful with you. even after centuries he still knows how soft and fragile omegas are, he'll take great care of you. it'll be just the two of you and mikey's undefeated power. you're the only one immune, he'll scare people away like he always did, turn them into statues without even lifting a finger, keeping you in his arms while he only has to lift his gaze to erase the threat.
and he'll also get rid of all of the old statues in the garden! it's your garden now, so there's no need for such frightening decorations...
mikey is so ecstatic, he didn't feel such bliss in a while. he's already anticipating all the things you're both going to do together !
but despite his excitement, mikey still is an alpha born in such old times, so he's old-fashioned : he loves you, provides for you and protects you, and as such, he doesn't tolerate outbursts from you. he likes respect. he's an alpha, so you need to listen to him. he's doing that for the both of you! just keep making happy and he'll keep you away from those terrible people you call your family, who deliberately sent you here, even while knowing what would become of you...
but regardless, he's just so happy to be cured from his usual loneliness that he unknowingly becomes more and more lenient, accepting anything from his new omega. you're such a joy to his normally gloomy and silent day. keep talking to him, keep asking him to show you around, he loves it.
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ALPHA! MITSUYA (a strange saviour)
you cursed yourself under your breath for being such a dumb person while gripping tighter a wicker basket filled to the brim with freshly picked flowers.
they only bloomed at night during the full moon and they just smelled so good you couldn't help yourself from going out once a month to snatch them from the tricky path where they grew.
it was risky and dangerous, not only because you were aventuring yourself in such a desolated area, but also because your sweet aroma seemed to get even softer the longer you walked to your house.
you hurried along, feet stumbling through the hard floor and occasional rocks all because of your precipitation. distinct voices and irregular steps were following you close behind, getting closer with each times you missed a step while scurrying down the stairs and met with a wall you didn't remember was there.
"y/n ! hurry and get your ass back there, you know I don't like chasing a blind omega around, just come here and stop making things harder for the both of us !", you shivered from the strong authoritative voice, calling you back in an annoyed growled while his friends snickered by his sides, enjoying way too much this little tantrum you were pulling.
your tears came running down your face, feeling so helpless with how little you knew your way and how merciless you knew your fiancé would be once he got his hands on you.
you never agreed to such proposal, but you came from a poor family and they were just too desperate to marry off their defective daughter. you were handed off to a same-age alpha, a spoiled idiot who liked to torment you even though you weren't still officially his wife.
if you knew you would've met him during your outing, you would've kept your basket neatly away in a closet and sat down near the fireplace.
when he caught you walking all alone at night, the alcohol in his brain and lack of respect for your dignity led him to a pervet shout your way.
he said he simply wanted to introduce you to his friends but with the way they were all looking at you was enough to tell you otherwise. so you ran, not sure where you were heading to.
in a second, you stopped abruptly in your tracks, a forceful hand grasping your arm and pushing you to the wall before you could even react. the force was such you felt light-headed, and the horny scents of the little pack of alphas made you nearly gag.
you pleaded and cried for him not to touch you, both being the only thing you could do. "oh come on, you're making me look like the bad guy here. isn't it my right to touch you as your fiancé?"
you cried harder, shaking your head and asking him to let you go. you felt such distress it was hard to control yourself. you were disoriented and lost, absolutely confused as to who exactly was before you excepted for your fiancé. would anyone save you if you screamed ? you doubted it, considering how his family was respected and felt sick in your head to know nobody would take the side of an omega like you.
you were wriggling again the grip he had on your neck when you felt it. cold and hard on your skin, rough to the touch and barely alive anymore. silence fell upon you before you could breathe again and a loud shattering noise was heard. tiny pieces of rocks hit your feet and your eyebrows furrowed when you heard the panicked pleads of the once so arrogant alphas.
you stayed put, unaware of the crime scene before you and the lavender-haired man who had just emerged from the next street upon catching your screams and sour scent.
you tried to catch your breathe, a serie of "please no!" escaping their throats, but you never relaxed, even when the deafening silence engulfed you once again after the similar shattering sounds were heard.
your eyes were wide open, frantically searching around in the obscurity. you gathered your hands to your chest in hope to make you appear smaller than you were, to appease whoever was pissed off.
"I'm sorry they did that to you", you jumped at the calm tone of his voice. you instinctively turned your head towards him, your pretty eyes catching his unknowingly.
he felt himself tense under your stare because of how unusual it was for him to be face to face with anyone.
"go home for tonight and don't wander alone like that again", there was some distance between the both of you, his voice was far away and let you relax a little at his warm and gentle intonation.
despite his initial excitement, his eyes softened when you seemed to trust him, taking slow and careful steps toward him, his voice guiding you.
he watched as you stumble on one of the statues and mitsuya approached you with cautious steps, alerting you that he was coming closer. "tell me if you want me to leave you"
you reassured him with a soar and soft voice, sounding oh so fragile. he offered you his hand in a silent reassurance and with a gentleness you didn't expect. you took it hesitantly and he guided you out of the dark alley you found yourself in.
"are you alright now ?", he asked after a while. none of you seemed to want to let go of each other's hand. he felt strangely scared to leave you alone and the foreign sense of security he gave you forced the two of you together.
"yes, thanks to you"
mitsuya was a sweet man despite the initial fear everyone seemed to arbour every time they met him. he took his sweet time getting to know you, and you didn't expect to have him by your door the next day, your basket of flowers put back together in one piece after being torn apart yesterday night.
you kept having little dates together, secretly hiding away in the deep forest mitsuya knew by heart. he made sure to take you to the best spots, while reassuring you with soft hums and a comforting scent every chance he got.
the connexion he felt with you was refreshing and sparked in him a protective instinct he didn't think he had in him.
he wanted to make sure you felt safe and would be willing to go on another date with him afterwards so he behaved correctly while assuring you nobody would be mean to you if you remained by his side.
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ALPHA! KAZUTORA (a fateful kidnapping)
bloody screams and desperate attempts at escaping drove each one of you mad. you ran without knowing where, only trying to chase away the yelling of your people.
you tripped against the statues littered across the floor, scratching your knees and hurting your hands in the process. you tried not to think of your dead loved ones, only focusing on your survival.
he was mad, completely crazy and thirsty for revenge.
your people had failed to give him a satisfying enough offering like you always did and here were the consequences.
a real massacre.
you found your way to a deserted house and pushed the door open, you scurried under the small space of the stairs, not having enough strength to drag yourself anywhere farther.
you heard him not long after, slow steps as if teasing you. you both knew you weren't winning and it amused him.
"where are you hiding little one ? if only you could smell yourself, only a fool would walk pass such a sweet scent"
you tried to muffle your pitiful cries, eyes shutting themselves with force. you couldn't calm your breathing down when he came closer, knowing exactly where you went but wanting to see you give yourself to him willingly.
"so cute", he whispered that more to himself than you, a smirk stretching his lips.
he bent down right next to you, inhaling deeply your scent. he took a lock of your hair in his hands, a satisfied look in his eyes.
"oh come on omega, just open your pretty eyes for me to see. listen to me while I'm being nice"
when you refused he persisted, keen on to see you give in. "you're the only one left omega, better make this quick for yourself don't you think?", your breath was cut short at the revelation, growing more and more distressed at your predicament.
"calm down, just breathe for me okay. don't want you fainting on me, it would be no fun right?"
a strange fondness made his way inside kazutora's heart while he helped you reach a calmer state. your head was still kept low, and tears kept running. but you managed to slow down your heartbeats thanks to him spreading calming pheromones all around you, your instincts reacting to them without your consent.
"that's right, just like that. you're doing so well"
and slowly but surely, everything felt calm again. you reached for his hands now gently cradling your face and forced them away from you.
you felt desperate, his proximity kept your thoughts going as just how fucked up your situation was, how inescapable it was. so you took advantage of your more relaxed state to pry your eyes open, guiding them up to meet his.
he watched you silently, almost regretfully but did nothing to stop you. he was eager to see your whole face and in the mere second when you lifted your face, he swore your statue would be the only one he took with him. he wouldn't let you rot away with the others. such a scared and fragile little thing...
and yet, he fell silent as he took in your soft features.
"your eyes...", he trailed off, shocked.
you were just as confused. why wasn't he doing anything? why was it taking so long? he mirrored your confusion, was your blindness enough to stop his curse from working on you?
a wave of relief washed over him and for the first time in years, kazutora felt at peace.
he didn't have to carry with him your dead body, he could simply ask you to follow him, or even better! he was going to court you, just like he dreamed of doing. he could look at you in all the angles and you wouldn't be harmed !
how sweet life was to finally smile at him and gift him a precious omega.
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ALPHA! BAJI (a gift from aphrodite)
desperately lonely. that's how baji felt for hundred of years now, since he was struck with his curse.
he ostracised himself from society, scared of bringing harm to anyone who would do just as much as look at him. he was feared and hated, despite never wishing anything bad on anyone.
one night, he found himself on the temple of aphrodite, the goddess of love, and begged all he could to grant him his only wish. the only desire he ever had.
upon hearing his cries, the goddess sent her child, cupidon, and charged him with a mission to bring her faithful devotee the perfect match for him.
you didn't know how you found yourself here, laying down on that same altar baji was praying on just about a few minutes ago.
all your senses were alert, trying to catch any familiar scent that would indicate where you were.
but you didn't smell anything, except for the cold marble floor and the strong and intimidating scent of what could be nothing else, if not an alpha.
"w-where am I? and who are you?" your voice bounced on the walls of the immense temple, and it sounded just like honey to baji's ears.
he couldn't believe his own eyes. had his prayers finally been answered? after a hundred years all but begging for the deity to let him find a precious omega who would come to love him and who wouldn't be harmed by his deadly curse.
and there you were! from the way your doe-eyes were looking around you, never settling on anything, he knew he had nothing to be scared about.
you won't crumble under his gaze, and baji could keep and love you to himself, just like he always dreamt.
he carefully went up to you, sweet words and kind purrs. and as if you were destined, you felt nothing but comfort emitting from the stranger, trusting him fully after just a few minutes.
"hey there, that's it I'm right here. you can stay up there while I come to help you down, okay?"
baji's instincts were screaming, blissfully looking at his adorable omega. he didn't know how to thank aphrodite, but one thing was for sure, he was going to cherish you to show just how grateful he was.
ALPHA! IZANA (sick love)
izana couldn't believe it and he'll keep spending his whole life trying to ignore the deadly weapon he has in his eyes.
it wasn't always like that, it was only the result of a deity's punishment after he had accidentally profaned his temple.
and the day he witnessed the first ever person falling to his death for simply looking at him was a nightmare burned inside his memory.
he hated the curse and hated how isolated he became afterwards, how his village, his friends and even his family chased him from his hometown, refusing to even take one last look at him.
but luckily he had you. his sweet childhood friend who stayed with him through thick and thin while never feeding the thought of abandoning him like all the others.
you were blind and resistant to his curse, so your relationship never changed. at first.
the usually kind alpha you knew quickly turned bitter and tried to drive away anybody trying to come to you, just like they all avoided him.
if they thought his curse was going to make it easier for them to court you, they were dead wrong.
izana developed a growing obsession for you and a sick jealousy which ruled your entire life now. you thought it would pass once he recognised your loyalty and eventually came to terms with his own cursed eyes. but he never did and only worsened with the time, growling at you to never leave him, that you would lose your way without his guidance, that people would try to steal you because of how naive and innocent you were. he wanted to force this codependency on you and break you down to make it sure you would always need him.
none of it made sense and you tried to reason him. even when people started to yell at him to get away from here, only you stood by his side, knowing that the charming boy you once knew wasn't all gone.
but this situation only made it easier for him to keep you for himself, your people not caring if you left alongside him as long as he left the village immediately.
he comforted himself at seeing your similar treatment and grew overly possessive, only allowing you to breathe and stay pretty next to him, occasionally patching up his wounds if he had to fight someone for your safety.
"y/n, you know how much I love you right ? those people only wish the worst for us, that's why I had to do that, you understand? I just need you, my sweet omega, you'll stay with me, right?"
and you don't have a choice but to mutter a kind "of course!" with a fake enthusiasm, knowing full well that even though he can't force you to stay put by turning you into stone, he can and will physically restrain you enough that you'll never even foster the idea of running away and leave him alone.
you're the only flawless being he ever met, izana wishes for things to stay that way. you offer him stability and if you were to be gone, he'd completely lose it.
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liiixsturniolos · 16 days ago
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can u make an angst / smut fic inspired by heartbeat- childish gambino pleaseee I’ve asked sm people and no one answereddd 😔😔.
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"Heartbeat"
chris sturniolo x reader
° You and Chris broke up for a reason. But you keep finding yourselves wandering back to each other.
warnings: kind of smut, (p in v), angst
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You flunk down onto Chris' couch. It was 1am, he had called desperately again, you'd said you stopped this shit. You told yourself you were done. You'd told him that too, yet neither of you seemed to care.
Still, it doesn't matter, you're sat on his couch now, cursing yourself for it. You know you shouldn't be here, but your mind is defiant against you the moment you hear his voice.
You're anxiously perched on the edge of the couch, biting your thumb, your eyes wandering around the room.
"Here." Chris mumbles, handing you a drink, sinking into the couch next to you.
You glance at him, unsure. Did you make a bad decision driving over here? You should leave, but you want to stay.
"I know what you're thinking." Chris deadpanned.
"That we both want different things, and that this is a dumb idea?" You clarify, throwing up your eyebrows and turning your head toward him.
"This is the last time, alright." He swore, but it meant nothing.
You nod along, as if you're naïve enough to believe it. His hands roam through your hair, as he shoves his lips around yours, kissing you passionately, starving for you.
Things escalate fast, into a full makeout, chris' hand gripping your thigh with one hand and un hooking his belt with the other.
"Ugh-i missed this.." he whines, sliding his cock slowly into you,
You moan out quietly as buries himself into you.
The only sounds in the room were his grunts and your soft moans. "Mmhh-c-chris." You whimper, resting your face in his neck as he pushes further into you.
It all happens so fast. The feeling of chris deep inside of you again was something that, as much as you hate to admit it, you craved.
He pumps himself into you, and within a short moment, both of you have already reached a high. He's grabbing your hips as you moan into his ear, "ugh-im.. gonna." You tell him, as you both come simultaneously.
You throw yourself down beside him on the couch, not sure whether that was worth having to get over him another time...
Thoughts bubble inside your brain. This felt so right, laying next to him again. Maybe there's a reason you both keep ending up like this.
You decide to ask the dreaded question of.. "What are we?"
"Fuck. Why do we always end up having this conversation?" He sighs, rolling his eyes,
"Chris I told you not to fucking call me, and you did." You scowl, escalating the lazy chatter into an argument.
"Doesn't mean I changed my mind." He grunts.
"So you were just bored? fucking lonely and horny, hm? I'm just some bitch to you huh?" You shout at him, following him into his kitchen.
"No! Shit- this is why we ended this." He yells,
"We ended it yet you've called me seven times since then." You blurt out angrily,
"Fuck! Can we not do this shit again." Chris grunts
"Are we dating? are we fucking? are we best friends? are we something in-between that?" You scream.
"I don't know! I don't know what I want, okay?" He bellowed.
The sounds of his harsh, cruel tone echo off of the walls of his apartment.
The words sink into your heart. You feel stupid for going back to him again. He clearly just wants to fuck, but you've always wanted more than that, and he never will.
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if you liked this, consider liking, commenting, or reblogging! thank you for reading! :)
taglist: @matthewsroses @chrislilcumslvt @pvssychicken @bull3t-f0r-my-v4l3nt1n3 @ivysturnss @mattsbitchh @matts-myloverboy @sturniolo-fann @emely9274 @sophand4n4 @uncannyguava
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shawtuzi · 2 years ago
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i love plug!eren sm that’s literally my husband and as much as i love writing about how good he fucks let’s talk about how good he is at aftercare!!!!
“s-shit m’gonna cum, take it take all that shit,” eren grunted into your neck, pressing sloppy kisses to your slightly sweaty skin. you were squeezing onto his hand for dear life as he brought you to another earth shattering orgasm, his warm cum filling you up while you shook in his arms. you’d think after five rounds of sex he’d be too tired to even lift his head from your neck but here he was already standing up to retrieve a warm washcloth, but not before giving your puffy lips three quick kisses.
you sighed dreamily as if you were in a daze, you grabbed the post sex blunt he rolled earlier and lit it. “i know you didn’t spark that shit without me,” eren chuckled as he walked in the room with a rag in hand. “i’m sorryyy i couldn’t help myself,” you giggled throwing your arm over your face. eren was a little pouty at first but his frown was quickly replaced with a smile when you offered the blunt to him. “wanna take a bath when i’m done?” he asked settling between your parted legs. you shook your head mumbling something about being too tired.
the next couple of minutes were pretty quiet as eren cleaned you up, the only sound being heard was ‘pretty little birds’ playing lowly from eren’s speaker. “m’gonna hit the block tomorrow for a bit but i’ll still be able to take you to your nail appointment,” he spoke softly running washcloth over your thigh. you hummed at his words even though you weren’t completely listening all the way—i mean how could you focus when he looks so damn good post sex??? you took another hit of the blunt before speaking, “can you stay with me until i’m done? maybe we can get food afterwards?” eren nodded his head, “of course i will you know i always do.”
it was now time for your fav part of aftercare—the cuddling!!! your head was laid on his chest as he gently ran his tatted hand up and down your back. “i can already tell i’m gonna be sore tomorrow i don’t know how i’m gonna be able to walk properly,” you groaned nuzzling your face in his chest, inhaling the intoxicating scent of his body wash. eren kissed his teeth and you looked up at him with confusion in those cute little doe eyes of yours. “baby, you know i’d carry you to whole different state if you asked. if you don’t feel like walking to the car or even into the salon you know i’ll be ready,” he chuckled running his thumb across the apple of your cheek. “you’re the best ren,” you smiled leaning up to give him three kisses.
‘in this darkness’ by clara la san began to play on the speaker and surprisingly enough eren began to hum along to it. “you know this?” you asked making eren smile. “yeah…i remember you played it one time in the car and i kept listening to it after that. kinda reminds me of you,” he said the last part so quietly you almost couldn’t hear but luckily you did. “it reminds you of me? how so?” eren was quiet for a moment before speaking, “just the lyrics and shit, i mean i do get lonely when you aren’t here and before we met my world actually almost did shut down i hated it n’ i was miserable. then you came around and just lit everything up, i was finally happy to get out of bed in the morning all because i knew i’d see or hear from you. not to be corny or whatever but i guess you could say you’re the—i don’t know light of my life or whatever.”
eren glanced at you and immediately regretted everything he said when he saw tears in your eyes, “no no no y/n please don’t start crying i’m just saying shit—” you cut eren off with a long kiss quite literally taking his breath away. “that was so sweet eren you really have a way with words you know? that sounded like it really came from the heart,” your smile was as wide as could be as you gave him another kiss. eren was never the type to put all his emotions out in the open and you could never blame him after hearing what he’d been through, so to hear him express that you were the ‘light of his life’ it meant more than anything.
after about fifteen minutes eren peeked down at your now sleeping figure, little snores coming from your parted lips. he ever so gently set you next to him—not bc he didn’t want you on him he just wanted to admire your face and body one last time for the day before he went to bed. he traced his finger from your eyebrow to your nose that you recently had double pierced, down to your lips that he was itching to kiss. if eren had to pick any part of you he loved the most it would be your lips hands down. he loved the way they looked so pretty all glossed up and shiny, and he loved it even more when you left lipstick prints on him—hence why he’s got a tattoo of a (your) lipstick print on the side of his neck. he could still remember the look of terror on your face as you inspected it but you had grown to love it just like all his other tattoos.
he looked at your naked chest as it rose and fell ever so gently as you slept. he could never quite pinpoint why you had not been happy with how your body looked in the past but he never pried afraid he’d upset you with the question. so instead throughout the expanse of your relationship he made sure to kiss every scar, every stretch mark, every imperfect perfection you had to let you know he thought you were a walking goddess and quite literally everyone including him should be kneeling at your feet.
eren pulled you closer to him and gave you one last kiss on the crown of your head before dozing off, hoping that he would see you in his dreams.
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fuxuannie · 1 year ago
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🐠 haii for the requests milestone thingy could u do pavitr prabhakar x reader and the prompt “are we ab to kiss rn” and then the other actually leans in? c: TY IF U CAN ‼️❤️💖
↳ pairing : pavtir prabhakar x g-neutral reader
↳ synopsis : request ♡
↳ authors note : EUEEUEEU this is sosososo cute actually, i love this idea sm. ATSV SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT !!! im not entirely sure if i like this.. bute eeurrueue i tried my best
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You and PAVITR had known each other for a while, long enough that he trusts you with his secret of being Spiderman with how close you two were.
Now you were on one of the tallest buildings in Mumbattan, swinging your feet over the ledge as Pavitr sat beside you with his hand unintentionally holding onto yours firmly since there was a small bit of lingering fear at the idea of you falling.
"Jeez, finally.. a break." He sighs in relief, taking off his mask with his free hand as you chuckle. "Isn't being Spiderman supposed to be sooo easy, Pav?" You teased, watching him roll his eyes in amusement. "Well, of course it is. But it certainly is busy, and I really just wanna spend time with you." Pavitr answers honestly, noticing how you seemed to be even just a little surprised and he was very entertained by that idea. You can already see his own little smirk beginning to form.
You clear your throat to hopefully shift the topic. "What made you so burnt-out today then?"
It didn't take long for you to see how his face shifts to a frown, and you knew exactly what he was about to bring up. "Miguel.. he's been so hard on some of us recently, especially the new-comers who he introduced the 'canon events' to." Pavitr runs a hand through his hair, his sigh was a mix of sadness and frustration as he recalls the events that occured earlier in the day. "They just want to save their loved ones.. no one can accept that kind of information and simply allow it to happen, you know?"
You nod along with his statement, unable to even imagine the dread those people must feel, just waiting for the people they care about most to die for their own development.
"But that's a sad topic, and today is supposed to be a nice resting day for the both of us." Pavitr smiles a little to lighten the mood, squeezing your hand softly as you take a deep breath. "Mines not been the best either.."
The smile he tries to hold falters at those words.
"Mom.. she's still very insistent on the arranged marriage." You let out a forced and bitter laugh. "I don't.. I mean, I don't know if I want to marry that person when I'm older. I've met them twice, Pav. And in the future, I have to spend every single loving who is essentially a stranger. Isn't that even a little weird in my parents eyes?"
He hated seeing how hopeless you looked, having no choice in who you want to love is devestating and in some cases lonely. Seeing real couples on the street and wondering what kind of innocent love you're likely missing out on.
Pavitr stands up and your head follows him as he does so, watching his determination-filled face as he pulls you up with ease. "Let's not wallow in sadness, yes? I'd much rather see you smile than frown." His hand makes its way to your cheek, causing you to chuckle softly as you lean into the touch and place your hand over his. "Thanks, Pav."
And without thinking, the next sentence you manage to stupidly utter out is; "Gosh, I wish you were the one I married instead."
You can see the visible surprise in his face when you say that, before you realize what exactly escaped your lips. "W-wait..-"
But it seems like Pavitr seems more affected than you, the hand once placed on your cheek immediately pulled back to cover his mouth and the uncontrollable but flustered smile on his face.
"You want to marry me??"
Instead of a mocking or angry tone, he seems genuinely happy that the person he's had a secret crush on for year or so finally gives some sort of hint that he's more than a friend.
"Do you mean it? Like.. really mean it?"
"I mean, yeah! Anyone would want to marry you.."
There's silence exchanged between the two of you, staring at each other in confusion, disbelief and surprise.
"What? Are we about to kiss right now?"
Pavitr teased to ease his nerves, but imagine how much worse they got when you actually started to lean in. He begins to quietly panic, however in all honesty he wants to do nothing else but kiss you at the moment. What if he never gets the chance to do it again? He couldn't risk that.
He finally presses his lips against yours, albeit very very nervously but a kiss is a kiss and goodness is he into it. Pavitr melts into the intimacy, but is very quick to pull away incase you're uncomfortable.
It seems almost impossible how fast his heart is racing when he watches your eyes flutter open and the realization that you actually kissed Pavitr rushes through your head quickly.
...
"Can we do that again..?"
"Gladly."
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gofishygo · 8 months ago
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giggling ab this okay so
imagine gaz n reader, they've just started to date
and reader is trans (ftm) but gaz doesn't know that yet
but then after a few weeks of dating reader is taking their T in the bathroom/bedroom and had forgotten to lock the door & gaz walks in oh no,,
YEAH so!!! i hope that's enough to.. you know. yeah!!!! i 💗 ur fics sm.
(we need more ftm fics RIGHT NOW!!)
whoEVER ANON IS . I LOVE U . Thank u so so so so much 4 this request my fingers have been acting to write m or ftm content u have appealed to my deepest desires . myways this rq is super silly i love chilled out gay mf and nervous closeted trans mf dynamic so much. 
Also posted on trans visibility day lets GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
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the same (always changing); kyle 'gaz' garrick + trans male! reader (979 words)
notes: some implied and described internalised transphobia, mentions of transphobia, mentions of gender dysphoria, reader does not have top surgery yet, partial nudity on reader (non-sexual), little hurt/comfort type w/ fluff at the end !!
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It wasn’t meant to be a secret. It really wasn't.
But here you are, cooped up in the cold premise of your shared bathroom, waiting for the gel to dry into your skin as you stare at your figure in the mirror, noticing the little changes with a strange sense of europhia. You wished you could run back to the arms of your boyfriend as you ramble about how good the hormones have been working, how you can see your outer shell peeling open to show the man who's been living in the inside, a feedback loop that had you seeing yourself in reflections instead of skin and hair and face that you'd barely recognised. Maybe his face would melt into that gorgeous smile, arms pulling you closer to him like he's seeping off the happiness he swears he sees seeping off your skin's pores. But it's the flip of a coin, a winning ticket in an uncertain lottery.
you're not so sure if Kyle would love the kind of person you were.
gender hadn't ever been a point of focus in your conversations, never something that had to be caught and pinned down with word or thought. he was a man, you were a man, and you loved each other. both of you did your best to keep it at that simplicity. but part of you, like the serpent to adam and eve, had always doubted whether kyle would look at you with the same eyes if you somehow ended up showing him your childhood photos or now-invalid passport, the face that was still soaked with dysphoria-ridden tears. 
the gel is still sticking to your ribs when the door practically flies off its hinges slamming against concrete walls and gaping open your closed eyes with ugly sound. There's a groan of exasperation that should make you giggle, but only makes already tense muscles almost turn to stone. "honey, you done ? really need to take a fat shi-" 
And then there's that silence both unsurprising but dreaded, how it felt to inhale smoke. 
You hate the shock as his eyes run over your bare chest in realisation, feeling any words about to come out crawling back into your windpipe as he notices the thin layer of gel and the label of the bottle on the sink. 
"love?" he calls, an endearing substitute replacing your name. you didn’t know if he'd call you that, even after this revelation. Or did he not know what else to call you now that this had been revealed ? "kyle," you echo. 
please just look at me, kyle. 
his eyes still look the same as how they look at you; stormclouds that accompany you on lonely and rainy nights, and your eyes can't help on focus on the pretty shade of grey instead of the battering of water droplets hitting against tin. Not once  does it ever shift to malice or hatred- only worry, for you, maybe. 
"do you want to talk about it right now ?" isn't the response that you expected. It's an gentle offer, and extended hand waiting for you to take or push away, more freeing than astute observations of your perceived identity or the bitter words hissed out when others had realised. You can only nod your head in response. 
"im sorry," you say, and you don’t know how much (what you're) apologising for. Sorry for never telling you. Sorry for making a distance that could have been avoided. Sorry for being this without your permission, anyone else's permission. 
but he's quick to hold you and the shame that you carry , not minding any of the gel residue on his shirt. "hey, no, it's okay," his voice is gentle, reaching out for your secluded self. "remember what I told you when we first started dating?" he puts a hand to your head, playing with your hair as he pulls you closer to him. "I love all of you, dove. Everything." he rests his chin onto your shoulder, murmuring the words into your ear. And you can't help but hug back, clinging to him like a lifeline. Your lifeline. "I love you too," you muse.
you both stay there for a minute before he pulls away with a complaint of some back pain from a recent mission, and you kiss his nose, allowing yourself to smile for the first time since he'd entered the room. "so.." you start, now perched on the rim of the bathtub. "you're ok with me being trans?"
you giggle when he deadpans at you, "love, I just hugged you for 5 full minutes after seeing you apply testosterone instead of taking a shit. I don’t really care if you're trans." 
and after your testosterone dries and you put on your shirt, you both in bed, tangled up in each other's arms. ramblings about little stories or town gossip. professions of grandiose love guised under quiet murmurs. the hormones are still a little crusty on your skin, but they're doing the work that should have been done since birth. 
The same, always changing. 
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junicult · 1 year ago
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I love how you write harvey sm!!! You had me swooning with every words !! So sweet, short, and straight to the point but very flavorful and entertaining! i'm so happy i came across your blog !
I have a prompt that u can feel free to use!
What do you think Harvey is like when he & the farmer just got married? For example, is he very timid that he couldn't sleep when next to the farmer? Is he very hesitant to hold them? Or other things u think/headcanon? Would love to read your thoughts! Thank you so much for your time !!<3
!! harvey as your new husband
contains ; domestic fluff. another post of me rambling lol. entirely sfw! gn!farmer / gender is never implied. short drabble.
note ; i’m in a harvey brainrot rn that every time i try to sit down to write for the other bachelors, i just end up staring at my screen doing nothing 😓
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when you were only dating, it wasn’t rare for harvey to come over while you were working after he found some time of his own.
even once, after you invited him over and sighed about how dirty you felt the cottage was since you hardly had time to clean—he became accustomed to do so just for you.
bringing over his own cleaning supplies just to sweep the dust, help with laundry, clean your kitchen and make dinner for you.
and he didn’t even mind doing all of it, just to help you lift the weight of your chores.
so after that one time, and you came home to see a squeaky clean home, and your excellent boyfriend after a particularly exhausting day—you could’ve cried.
not to mention, he goes the great mile. those large yellow gloves over his hands, non-slip shoes and a hardware apron over his clothes so he wouldn’t get himself dirty.
some may say it’s a bit dramatic, but he says prepared.
anyways, it became a routine he was fond of doing.
harvey came over a lot. to the point where his own house didn’t really feel like home anymore.
he hated those nights when he couldn’t come over, forced to sleep in his own bed without you by his side. it would take him longer to fall asleep if he couldn’t feel you next to him. he probably had to hug a pillow just to feel something lol.
so when you got married, it’s safe to say he was ecstatic to be moving out of his lonely apartment. especially when you made time to come help him, packing stuff in boxes.
it really made him realize how life changing it is. to see you labeling each box, sorting through his cds and tapes while talking about your future together.
“i think these would look nice in our living room, i could move my bookshelf over and we could squeeze this in…” you ramble on, face full of concentration.
it made his heart gush, even just hearing you call it our living room.
when you’d “ooo” and “aaa” at items of his you looked forward to decorating the house with, and “uhh” at the ones you didn’t. he couldn’t possibly be upset, if anything, he’d laugh at your honesty. there’s nothing that’d make him upset right now.
so when you were finally married, you had to work but he spent the majority of the day squeezing his stuff into the house like you both planned, it still felt right.
you didn’t have to be beside him, helping him unbox for him to be happy. he found everything seemed to fit in place.
settling in didn’t feel as much of a task as you both thought it’d be. there was always a cloud of sadness when he’d have to leave, so finally that experience was tarnished after the knot was tied.
there’s no leaving anymore, because he always comes right back.
at this point, his nerves being around you were fizzled, but of course he still got butterflies when he’d see you.
any moment he was intimate with you still made him feel much younger with the way his heart would pound and his palms would grow sweaty. even if you were just leaning in to kiss him.
so the first night you two were living together as a married couple—i don’t think he’d be so nervous.
or at least, not nervous in a bad way.
“which side of the bed should i sleep on?”
“harvey, we’ve slept together before. this isn’t new.” you tease.
“well we’ve never slept together as a married couple who lives in the same house. this is the start to the rest of our lives, i want to make sure we’re making the right decision,” and after he realizes what he implied, he’s widening his eyes and shaking his head, “no! not like that! as in, what if i sleep on the right side, but i sleep on my right side so my back is always turned to you—“
“harvey, honey…i’m not going to be mad at you if i wake up and you’re not facing me.” you giggle.
he really knows how to overthink everything.
but once you’re finally tucked in bed together (you on the right, him on the left) i don’t think he’ll overthink at this point.
by now, you’re both so in love that he doesn’t second guess reaching over to hold you anymore. he doesn’t need to rethink all of that.
when you latch onto him, pressing your face into his chest and wrapping your arms around him—he’s bound to get butterflies. you may even hear his heart beat a little quicker. but he’s not shy to give you the same treatment.
if he could, he’d hold you all day. he never wants to let go.
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travelling-wanderer · 1 year ago
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Hi hi!
I saw you had written a bit for cp lh!rayman so if it's okay and if you're accepting requests, could you possibly do rayman flustering the reader in his suave tv host way?
・﹒・ suave host
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Summary: You were at a party for Eden's most elite, only there due to your friend. It was for Rayman, but parties never were your thing, so you opted for sitting away from everyone. The host seemed to have found you and taken interest in you.
Warnings: 18+, suggestive comments
Notes: Hey! Thanks sm for the request! Sorry this took a while to get to! Im sorry if this was really short, I hope you enjoy regardless though! :D
It was a party for the elite, those high in Eden's ecosystem that were rich, you were only here because your friend knew one of the producers of the Eden Late Show with Rayman. In fact, he was here right now, as this was his party for reaching his 30th season. You haven't seen him yet though, opting to stay towards the quieter areas of the roof as social interaction was not your forte. You had wanted to meet him for so many years now, but anxiety did not want to. Were you ready to accept the fact that you were not as boisterous as him or as cute as him, or well...as popular and rich as him.
Dressed all nice, you looked down at Eden from the secluded part pf the balcony you picked swishing a wine glass full of water imagining it as the namesake. You chose not to drink any alcohol and if you did, it wouldn't make your first impression any better if you did manage to meet him. Meeting all these people above your social status only made your anxiety grow, feeling like one wrong word would make them blacklist you from any jobs and ruin your life. Setting the glass down, you stood up and walked to the glass railing, leaning on it and crossing your arms.
It's not like you hate Eden, far from it, you just wished that you could be successful like all these people here, to be able to have that financial security and to be able to positively impact others. That's why you loved Rayman so much, just by hearing his voice made you happy and comforted knowing that he was here to give hope to everyone.
"You're looking lonely there" That same voice cut through your thoughts and caused you to look back in surprise. Eyes wide, you looked in shock as the Rayman walked closer to you with his trademark smile. Why was he here and not where the main party is? You realized you didn't say anything and was just staring. Coughing, you choked up a reply and hope you didn't look like a total idiot.
"Well uh...these types of parties aren't really my thing hah..." awkwardly chuckling as you cringed, yeah that was bad. He didn't seem detoured though as he only walked closer and stopped when he was right beside you. You knew he was short, but being right next to him really hit you for the height difference between you both.
"Why are you here then? Wanted to see handsom old me?" He winked, causing your face to warm as you stutter out denials, he wasn't convinced naturally. Honestly, that's one of the reasons you went, but it was embarrassing to admit, especially to the man himself. He chuckled and pulled a chair from nearby, up to the railing, pulling himself up and standing on it so he was eye level with you. You cracked a smile and laughed, he looked like a toddler doing that.
"What's so funny huh? You won't be laughing when I-" he then leaned closer, surprising you as his mouth was right next to your ear.
"Show you a good time" and you were dead. Face now on fire, you clamped a hand over your mouth as he pulled away, face painted with a smug smile. Was he actually flirting with you right now?
"Awe, so shy, its adorable. You gone mute...hm...I might know a way to make you talk" He knew exactly what buttons to press to make you melt, causing you to grip onto the railing to prevent you from falling as your breathing quickened.
"I am the most powerful man in Eden after all...imagine...having everything you could ever wanted and more...So. Much. More." Anymore of this and you would collapse, not knowing how to respond or what to even do. It didn't help that his hand started to caress your thigh, only increasing his advances. Never in your entire life would you believe for a second that THE Rayman would hit on you, yet here you were, him hitting on you. The moment didn't last though, as someone came out and called out to Rayman that a journalist wanted to do an interview on him. Pulling away, he said one last thing before leaving.
"This isn't over. Meet me here in the lobby tomorrow, seven pm sharp" and he was gone. Once he was out of sight, you fell to the floor and was left to process what had just happened.
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mrstellmeafuckingsecret · 1 month ago
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pls pls pls pls pls yap about ur opinions on fanon and the absolute slaughter that has happened to some of these characters!!! oml pleaseeeeee! i'm dying to hear someone who agrees with me cuz so many ppl just don't get it!!!!!!! babe i'll take anything!!!! fanon!remus slander, love it, fanon!regulus slander, live for it, fanon!sirius slander, NEED it!!! if you're feeling really in the mood, maybe marlene?? literally just yap and im yours!!!!!!!
HI ily OKAY SO!!!
fanon remus fuck him man he's so annoying i hate everything about him but TODAY i will be talking about his backstory im sorry its so !!! UGH. so much of the marauders fandom makes him either an orphan (atyd)/give him severe daddy issues and i hate that ?? so much ???
he suffered a lot canonically thru his childhood, but people erase that and give him these new issues that dont go well w his character (at least in the way i've seen it done).
do people not understand having a very lonely childhood + being discriminated against x2 + having low self esteem + etc can give you long term consequences??? do they think the only way one can have trauma/ptsd/etc is if they got beat by their dad?? probably !!! so @ marauders fans fuck you !!! other problems exist lmao they're just not as romanticizable
fanon AND canon regulus. I HATEEE HIM. I DESPISE HIM. I CANNOT. i cannot rant about him rn. it's like 9am and im trying to have a good day.
fanon sirius my bby what did they do to you ☹️☹️☹️
i cant even hate him bc i just feel so bad for him every1 litr hates him+bullies him sm like he doesnt even do anything and like that must be so triggering and annoying and ugh ily bby
but like rant right SAWR
i actually do NOT understand why sirius was changed sm in fics ?? like you could just shittily simplify his char to remus fanon or morally grey bf or smth and thats infinitely hotter+more accurate ??? idk !!!! ive ranted abt him a lot so idk what to yap abt rn IM SORRY ily
MARLENE !!!!!!!!!!!!! marlene. ok i hate her fanon. like fr. why is she the token mean lesbian like ho get a life. her only traits are gay gay & gay and bfr we see the problem w that right. like ugh. + i never see any discrimination she has to face ?? which is weird esp since beabadoobee is a lot of people's fc of her? and shes gay ?? i feel like when u have a char thats just a blank slate you can do sm w it but the marauders fandom just turned her into npc number 14 like fuck u man
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imagining-in-the-margins · 1 year ago
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Wait what's wrong with Maeve and Maxine 😭😭 and I do agree that there's sm off with Garcia in CME
There’s nothing wrong with them, really. If you like them, then power to you. The show is fictional and so are the characters, and I don’t ever recommend that people care as much about prime-time television writing as I do lmao.
That being said, I have a few complaints about Maeve as a character and Maxine as a partner for Spencer. I’ll put them below because it’s a lot.
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For starters, Maeve is an awful geneticist. I’m also confused as to what the hell her job is. If you have an understanding of medical science, you know that absolutely no part of their story makes sense unless Maeve is an awful person.
(For the record, I don’t think the writers understand medical science, so this is probably unintentional.)
We’re introduced to Maeve as the woman who cured Spencer’s headaches. When he explains how she did that, the “magical cure” is, in fact, the equivalent of a multivitamin. Setting aside how unlikely it is that none of Spencer’s doctors could identify a very basic nutritional deficiency, it’s absolutely absurd that Maeve would recommend high doses of vitamins to someone who isn’t her patient.
(Is she even a medical doctor. Do we ever get confirmation? You don’t need to be to be a geneticist. I know because I’ve worked for one.)
That leads to the next question. Why the FUCK did she agree to read someone’s brain scans? You are NOT a radiologist and you’re not a neurologist. You have NO idea what you’re doing.
Now we move into her even more serious ethical violations.
Maeve identifies this man who is desperately seeking care for (what appear to be) psychosomatic symptoms as a result of trauma and stress. Instead of, I don’t know, helping him access psychiatric care he clearly needs, she…
That’s right! She starts dating him!
Maeve is a master manipulator. We see it repeatedly. Every time that Spencer begins to open up to her or offer her any vulnerability, she responds by either mocking the things he enjoys or by suddenly freezing him out. The one extended conversation we see between the two of them, Spencer expresses the desire to get to know her better, and once again offers his very specialized assistance in her exact problem.
What does Maeve do in response? She refuses to answer. The call goes silent, and she immediately proceeds to heavily guilt him while he apologizes in excess. She starts to vocally cry, but then immediately stops when he retracts his feelings.
Then, when he is devastated by being rejected, she tells him that she loves him and hangs up the phone.
What?
Then we get introduced to Bobby—the very recent fiancé that Maeve completely refused to mention. We hear from Maeve’s parents that Bobby was “controlling,” but when we see him, and how he interacts with Maeve… he’s completely normal? In fact, he seems genuinely concerned for her safety.
We have no reason to believe Bobby was ever acting against her best interests. She sure didn’t give a shit what happened to him, though, or else she could’ve helped him (and herself) by simply letting the FBI help her with a very basic and unsophisticated stalker that was identified in like five seconds.
Maeve didn’t want help. Maeve didn’t want Spencer to be cured. She wanted him to be available and rely on her because she was bored. She was lonely and she exploited a sick man for company. She left Bobby because she was worried about his safety. Didn’t give a fuck about Spencer’s, though.
I think Spencer knew that, too. Because even in his fantasy of her, he playfully corrects her just for her to shut him down for “arguing” with her. Because he corrected something she said that was literally just wrong.
So, that’s why I hate her.
(Don’t even get me started on how nothing they did made sense to avoid a stalker. You had Spencer call the same number every week on the same time through the same mechanism. Her number. She never changed her number. How many times does the BAU tell us that routine is a stalker’s best friend? Come on, man.)
Moving on to Maxine.
She’s fine. Really, I don’t have any qualms with who she is as a person except for the fact she’s a teacher who hates her job (and her name). You’re telling me this woman who went through school for art history hates children’s art? What?
Also, why are you devaluing children’s art? They’re kids. Are you okay?
The first thing we learn about her is that she’s a teacher, but she hates it because children’s art is lame. So, with a man’s permission (Spencer), she leaves that job to go work for the Smithsonian (Finally! A prestigious enough career for her!).
Setting aside how cringeworthy that notion is, it’s not even the worst part about that storyline.
My problem with her is the way they set up their relationship. Saturday begins with Spencer expressing his (very autistic) concerns about connecting with other people. In response, the psychologist essentially tells him to… just be normal, dude.
That’s when we meet Max, who then spends the rest of their onscreen time together constantly reminding Spencer how fucking weird he is and he should just chill out and be normal.
Pass.
That whole idea of “ommmggg we’re not dating okay it’s super chill and casual 🙄 we’re not dating it’s not even that serious 😒 he’s NOT my boyfriend I don’t want to call him that 😬” is also… not cute. It’s very juvenile and sort of insulting. It always came off to me as her repeatedly saying she doesn’t even really like him that much, she’s just there because the narrative needs her.
Then we get Date Night. What a fucking disaster of an episode. Here, we get to see Cat and Spencer reduced to absolute idiots who randomly believe a basic ass young woman’s super manufactured story about how she murdered someone.
Are you serious? Cat Adams, an actual serial killer, can’t tell when someone isn’t an actual murderer?
SPENCER REID, AN ACTUAL GENIUS AND A DECORATED BEHAVIORAL PROFILER, CAN’T TELL WHEN HIS GIRLFRIEND IS LYING ABOUT BEING A MURDERER?
Of course, we’re meant to believe she’s “just that good,” and also seemingly totally fine under the pressure of her family being kidnapped and potentially murdered.
(Maybe she is a psychopath?)
Her little jokes about Cat as a “mean girl but stabby” are so poorly received in the context of the episode. We have Spencer, still reeling from JJ’s forced confession and the upcoming loss of his mother, lamenting about how he really needs to stop basing his whole identity on the women who love him. Yet, that’s exactly what Max is there for. To be “better than Cat” so he has someone new to attach his mouth to.
(Also, super fucking weird she abandoned her family and kissed him after saying how much he liked kissing Cat, but we’ll move past that.)
Max is a mediocre character and a misogynist’s attempt to make a girlboss. She is also a way for the writers to reinforce that Spencer will only be deserving of love when he stops being so autistic “weird” and learns to just be “normal.”
Spencer frankly deserves better than that. This is why I’ve always loved his love interests like Lila and Austin. They reveled in Spencer’s “weirdness.” They found his real personality charming and cute. They were nice to him because they actually liked him.
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So, that’s why I don’t like Maeve and Maxine. Feel free to disagree, but you should probably argue with someone else because I’ve developed my opinion after (too) many rewatches. I don’t see my perspective changing much.
That brings me back to how I started this rant, though. This is a fictional serial television show. It’s not literature to be preserved forever. It’s just our fun little copaganda show, and you can enjoy it however you want! That is your right, and you shouldn’t let me rain on your parade.
Just have fun! That’s what fandom is all about.
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rosazoldyckk · 1 year ago
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𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐗 𝐃𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
⚠️TW⚠️ Mentions of the reader thinking they are useless and unworthy, reader pretty much hating on themselves.
PS: YOU ARE WORTHY!! You are awesome asf so please don't let this fanfic trigger any negative thoughts! you are worthy, capable and fucking spectacular and pls don't forget that!! Love you sm ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎
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You had no one before him. Everyone else had left you. Eventually you gave up in trying to convince them to stay. Nobody tried approaching you due to your closed off nature. No one but him. Chrollo Lucilfer, the head of the infamous phantom troupe, or Chrollo as he likes you to call him.
You knew something was off about him, but you didn't care, because he was the only one who was willing to get to know you and stayed after finding out more about you. Even if what he did was somehow considered borderline stalking. You didn't give a damn. It was nice having someone try for you, after so long of no one trying.
You don't deserve him.
Soon afterwards he convinced you to move in with him, which you agreed to. Ever since then your daily life has been confined to his estate. You didn't mind of course; you were glad someone cared enough for you. But also, guilty. He shouldn't love someone like you. Someone so horrible and disgusting. Someone who could barely do anything right.
You don't deserve him.
You wish you could do something to repay all he's done for you. But surely you would just mess it up like you do with everything else. You don't want to be more of an inconvenience than you already are. Why didn't he pick someone else? Someone much more talented or prettier than you? Surely, he could do better. It still confuses you to this day.
You don't deserve him.
You feel weak. You wanted to believe him, but you couldn't. You truly were a terrible person. But you couldn't help but continue to be suspicious of his intentions. What if he runs away from you after realising how horrible you are? What happens then? You'll have no one. You need him. You pray to all the God's imaginable that he'll never realise how ugly and useless you truly are inside. Maybe he already knows and is toying with you? Your mind keeps swirling with all these terrifying thoughts, making you want to bite your fingers off with fear in case any of it turned out to be true.
You don't deserve him.
You feel tears stream down your face. You try your best not to let out any noise. Even if no one is home. It hurts so much. Why did you have to burden everyone with your existence? The hate red you had for yourself was immense. Tears continued streaming down as you wiped your nose. You hated this. This lonely, suffocating feeling but you were always too scared to reach out. You wanted him to be here, holding you tightly in his warm embrace as he allowed you to cry into the fur of his coat, whispering sweet words of kindness into your ear. It was a selfish wish you know but you can't help it. You wanted him to bruise you with his kisses, to be lacerated open and stitched together, sharing both blood and skin. You wanted to lock your lips to his with no intention of breaking from one another. You continued crying. You longed to sink into the endless depths of hell with him if it meant you could belong to him in peace, but what God thought thought you were deserving of something so blissful?
Out of nowhere you feel a pair of familiar arms wrap around you.
"I'm sorry I took so long, my love. Now tell me, why are you crying?"
You back away, trying to escape. But his grip was firm. It felt like you would never leave his embrace.
"I don't deserve you... Why are you doing this!?"
"Hmm, because I love you. And of course, you deserve me. My standards are high, but regardless you are the one that I love."
"But I'm worthless! Someone as useless as me doesn't deserve to be worthy of your time! Please Chrollo...don't burden yourself with me..."
"I'll tell you as many times as it takes for you to believe me. You're none of these things your mind tells you. You are mine and I love you." He hugged you tighter, placing a firm kiss on your temple. "Even if others may think that. I will never. I promise."
You just sat there in his arms processing everything. You never knew how to respond to him. He's always so kind around you.
"But surely you could find someone better than me. I'm sure of it. One day you'll find someone who can give you everything I could only dream of giving to you." You sniffled, trying to hold back the tears.
"Even if I did, I would still choose you. No matter what. Because you are the one that I love."
"Are you sure? You aren't lying, are you Chrollo? Please promise me?"
"I promise you from the bottom of my heart. I would never lie to you." He paused for a second. "Come on my love, it's getting late. Let's get you to bed."
"Okay..."
He stopped hugging you and took your hand. He led you to your shared room. His hand were always so warm and comforting. He led you into bed, and you two just held each other, resting your head on the crook of his neck as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear.
"You are the beginning and end of who I am. You are everything I could ever care for and more. I'll rip my own veins out before I can love another. I'll praise every hair on your head, every breath you take, every glance you give my way. I'll never allow you to feel worthless again, love. You are my salvation. Your voice is my mantra, Your body is my church. I abandoned the faith of God a long time ago, but if it meant I could forever keep you close within arms reach, then I'll cry my prayers to the heavens for all to hear. Because I want you. I need you."
You really don't deserve him, but maybe for tonight you will allow yourself to believe. Allow yourself to hope that maybe you are worthy of him. Even if it's for a short time. You are at peace.
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drifloonz · 4 months ago
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Omg hi! I very recently got REALLY into Strangled Red so finding your writing for it was such a nice surprise, it's feeding my hyperfixation for this man so well. I love how you write and portray him especially since I'm a sucker for character phycology. If you're still up for it, could you maybe give some headcannons for Steven reacting to the s/o reader being hit on and not being into it? I just think it has nice writing potential and I'm a sucker for jealousy/possessiveness and overprotectiveness when the character has good reason to be. If you don't feel up for it I completely understand that, and just know that I've loved all the writing you've done so far! :)
ty sm.. i fucking love Analyzing steven hes like a petri dish algae or something that im putting under a microscope. he means so much to me and i love picking him apart like the little freak [lovingly] that he is.
i am very glad i make ppl think of him and give ppl food that is my Goal . Give people good steven food. steven food makes it sound like stevens a creature u need to feed. thats s!3v3n not steven /j
ALSO SAME HERE i love jealousy and possessiveness and being overprotective within like. Normal means. Maybe its bc i have bpd idk but i also like when ppl are jealous in regards to me or clingy... makes you feel important sometimes and thats nice to some people including me hehehe.
anyways !!
jealous steven x s/o reader!
__
♡ steven's not one for going out with you - he prefers to rot in his house. it's awful, but, at least you visit him and are there with him a lot of the time. or he's with you in your house rotting a little less. either or is fine to him.
♡ although, recently he's been trying more. maybe you have a job and he likes to visit you because he gets lonely - he's not all too dissimilar to a growlithe or a clingy litten waiting for their owner to get home. except he's a grown ass 6-or-7' man that tends to intimidate everyone just by being around, so how clingy he is sometimes is kind of jarring. gap moe.
♡ or maybe you just go out a lot and he likes to tag along, because well. he likes you. and you're probably dating?
♡ .. and because he's scared that something will happen to you when he's not around.
♡ . . . he won't admit that part, though.
♡ he'll often be overaffectionate when and if you visit him when you haven't for a while, too. clingy overaffectionate. lots of cuddling and silent affection from the big guy.
♡ he especially doesn't like thinking about the fact that other people can possibly see you and have less than great thoughts about you or possibly be making passes at you when he's not there - you're his, dammit. ... and he's all yours, not like anyone else is competing for him these days.
♡ so when he is there, and when someone does, and has the balls to do it around or in front of him?
♡ well. probably when he's around but not immediately close to you. and as such...
♡ he'll probably stand up if he overhears it / sees it, or just thinks anybody's being just a biiiit too friendly with you. goes behind you, maybe while you're still talking to the person, busy and unaware that he's Approaching.
♡ he's so tall the shadow of his figure looms over the person who even dared to try.
♡ he'll just glare at them, until they fuck off. honest to god. he hates talking to people, especially strangers, and his resting neutral face being turned into slightly more of a resting bitch face sends the message better than anything he could say ever would.
♡ he can look scarier if he wants to, maybe make his eyes glow red and give a bit more of a snarl - but just his resting face seems to scare people off real easily. good. he doesn't want to put in too much effort- plus, it might look wrong, or odd. him emoting in any good or bad way more than his usual resting face tends to look weird. he has no idea how he used to do it so much more when he was younger ... ( HE'S SUCH A FUCKING LOSERRRR . sorry continue on . )
♡ and after the fact - or if they somehow don't get the memo from that - he'll try harder.
♡ some possessive touches - a squeeze of the hand, pulling you closer to him, maybe resting his hands on your hips or shoulder - maybe even his head resting on your head... anything that silently tells other people that you two have something deeper going on.
♡ he doesn't want to actively scare them off. it'd cause a scene, and steven already hates being in public and around people as much as it is, especially because he can feel everyones eyes always on him like he's some freak. which he is, but ... it makes him feel Some sort of way. reminds him of how everyone stared at him, almost as if he was some laughingstock of kanto, when miki had-
he can't keep thinking about this. something'll happen. he doesn't want to get like that in public again, ever.
♡ anyways.
♡ even if the person already left, steven will be quick to make it clear to everyone else and you that you two are an item. he doesn't want anyone else to look at you or talk to you in that way.
♡ ... he doesn't want to lose you. you're about all he has these days, and he doesn't think he's the best choice of a boyfriend or even anyone you should be dating at all - always scared he'll do or say something. always scared of what he did back then coming back to haunt him, always feeling guilty and like you should know about the things he did. he thinks he's awful, honestly. he keeps things from you, and things you should probably know. he's not the greatest person.
♡ steven could go on and on in his head about why you should not be dating him of all people - you're so beautiful, too. you deserve better, to have anyone you want.
♡ but you are dating him. and he's happy. happier than he's ever been, and he feels loved, and lucky - but also scared. he has something to lose, again. and he's terrified.
♡ so he has to work to show you that he loves you. cherishes you more than the world. this is just one of those small ways he does it, even if in an odd way and due to him being possessive and clingy. but he's like that for a very good reason.
♡ because you're everything to him.
♡ sometimes he's glad that people are scared of him. he can protect you that way. even if he can never fully integrate back to society - not that he ever even fucking wants to - he can at least be around you.
♡ you joke about him being like your personal bodyguard sometimes.
♡ there's a faint smile when he hears that.
__
i hope u enjoyed i went kind of crazy. I think about how much he'd be scared to be dating someone again sssoooo badly LIKE HE HAS SOMETHING TO LOSE AGAIN. HE'S TERRIFIED OF LOSING YOU TO SOMETHING HE CAN'T CONTROL!! like. Especially death or some freak accident like with miki and mike but from also, just not being good enough, being a bad partner, someone charming you more than him... etc. this all comes to a head in how clingy and possessive he is.
He has no idea how he'd deal with it either and doesn't even want to think ab it because if he did he'd tweak ( go s!3v3nmode and lock himself in his room about it. )
he will Not lose you because he cannot fucking lose you and if it means being a fucking loser and getting protective of you if anyone even so much as tries to flirt with you, then so be it.
I LOVE EXPLORING THIS SIDE OF HIM. HE'S NOT A YANDERE OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HE JUST HAS INSAAANE ISSUES. TRAUMA. PTSD. AND BPD. and also Really bad paranoia. Probably some other shit too maybe ocd fuck if i know He doesnt know either but basically he has. Issues. and doesnt know how to handle them esp since hes been isolated so hes Working on it. Kind of.
ty for requesting ^-^ its good to get in the writing groove again. altho my keyboard feels a little weird and wacky which doesnt help and i Should clean it but thank god i can type properly again.
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