#but it helps no-one and changes nothing
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Not the like to reblog ratio being so frustrating that I'm considering doing free YCHs in exchange for reblogs.....
(If you share this post please include the tags in some way. They're important. May or may not delete this later.)
#not the first time I've done free art in exchange for an extremely simple task#sometimes it feels like people can't read#they can look at my art but as soon as I ask them to reblog it#they act like they can't see what I wrote#tumblr doesn't have an algorithm.#the like button does nothing#like actually#it does NOTHING. it's just a little button that you press#but it helps no-one and changes nothing#except for making a number go up#and it's absolutely phenomenal#how many times I've seen artists ask for people to reblog their posts#just to be completely ignored#it almost feels?? disrespectful???#like they care about the art but not the artist#you like having pretty things to look at#but you don't wanna help the person that gives it to you#I genuinely want to know why people don't reblog posts#what makes it so hard for you?#what is it about pressing anything other than a heart that feels so impossible?#whatever reason you may have#I'm tired of it.#so if you guys really need a REASON to reblog#I'll give it to you#if you guys really need a reward for doing the BARE MINIMUM#I'll give it to you.#anyway extra tags that you can ignore//#artists on tumblr#art#ych
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Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
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“the worst they could do is kill you” actually the worst they could do is crawl closer to you instead of leaving even though they’re currently bleeding out after cutting their own foot off with a hacksaw in order to escape and the door is open for the first time since you both woke up in this room, just to pull you away from beating the now lifeless body of the man who was about to kill them and proceed to cup your face with the sort of tenderness that wasn’t meant for someone like you, wasn’t meant for either of you not here not now, before saying things that you both so desperately want to believe but know deep down are near impossible all while you feel the searing ache of the bullet wound they put there not moments earlier and then, even as they start to make their way towards the door, even as their shirt slips out of your grasp and your scrabbling fingers can no longer reach their wrist and the chain around your ankle starts to feel like your fate, they still turn back to assure you that they wouldn’t lie to you. if you’re adam saw 2004
#woahh. lovers#‘the worst thing that could happen to you is death’ actually the worst thing that could happen is waking up to a man splashing water on your#face w no idea where you are and said man proceeds to ‘save’ you in a way akin to torture & he won’t let you go back for the person you got#to know in the bathroom the person you promised to get help for he won’t let you and years go by you change you no longer recognise yourself#in the mirror & have nothing left. then one day you go back to that bathroom & the wound is so fresh it’s unbearable#saw 2004#chainshipping#adam faulkner stanheight#adam stanheight#lawrence gordon#feeling soo normal. feeling so average about them#📹
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I hope leftists who think they’re above voting for president or are voting for Jill Stein or whoever because it’s their stupid way of protesting the system feel good about themselves, especially if Trump wins partly because of your negligence 😍 I know you’re not doing shit to plan the proletarian revolution, especially before January, so you guys better not complain about something harming you that you didn’t even bother to try and change
(edit: changed the last part bc I wrote “…if life gets a lot worse for you” cause that does nottt sound right at all and I apologize for writing that)
#if you have the option to help make change and do nothing then that’s your fault#ah yes! taking absolutely no action! that'll show the corrupt two-party system!#I’m literally a leftist too I don’t like aligning with the democrat party either but like… what other choice do we have right now#why not just vote for the one who sucks less#also you do know Jill Stein and Rudolph Ware don’t give a fuck about you or any leftist issues right#like they’re literally just there to get in the way for people who are too dumb to realize they’re basically just handing a vote to Trump#sorry for my raging here we see that I am very nervous for this election lol#and i know i'm being dramatic i don't actually want life to get worse for anyone but like... if you're anti-trump but don't vote for kamala#you're basically just getting what you asked for#american politics#vote blue#us politics#i know trump supporters are the ones to be angrier with ofc but this type of people are really irritating too#breaking: 20-year-old chronically online tumblr user changes the minds of thousands last-minute by ranting (/s)
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don't wanna derail the post I saw this discussion on- it was all in the notes anyway, so it certainly isn't op's problem. I'm gonna say this with so much love:
Calling somebody a 'theyfab' is not punching up. If someone's being transmisogynistic, say that, or call them a bigot. Naming the tangible harm done to you will always be the most effective thing to do.
The cis people who created that term made it with the explicit intent to mock and insult people's identities. No matter what you mean when you say it, this is its origin and to most people, its only meaning. It describes nothing about the discrimination you face.
People afab are marginalized, especially if they're queer. You cannot "punch up" on a fellow oppressed group. I understand the specific vitriol that they inflict on you hurts.
You don't need a word to call somebody, you need and deserve adequate justice for the tangible harm done to you; and my heart aches that nobody queer- especially trans women- ever seems to receive that.
I'm aware I can't make anybody do anything, so I'm not gonna try to tell you not to use that word. I just want to say it can't ever address, undo, or heal any harm done to you. It can only redirect it.
#da#the og post was about transmisogyny and transfeminism and that was an important discussion I did not wanna elbow into#I'm addressing the people in the notes who were saying they 'NEED' this word in order to 'punch up' to their oppressors#I do feel for every trans woman and transfem having to exist on the internet rn. everyone's being awful to you all from every side#Dearly sorry that fellow afab people are making all your lives such hell#just also know that nothing about the word theyfab describes a bigot. nothing about it explains what harm was done to you.#it serves solely to mock an aspect of someone's identity. because hateful cis people created it to do that#you don't 'need' a targeted insult to use against someone directing hatred towards you.#cannot stress enough that the only group who can reclaim a harmful term is the one it's used against#i completely understand afab people can be particularly awful with their transmisogyny#calling them a theyfab will not help anything. I know. I'm sorry. you're hurt and it sucks. name calling cannot change that
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What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.
What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it you’re lent.
By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.
She’s what’s tethering him do you see… And he’s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.
They’re both so out of it 😭 It’s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? They’re each other’s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though she’s also the guard attack hound keeping him safe… And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. They’re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They can’t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked. We both haven’t lived for ourselves in a very long time, haven’t we.
They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it it’s ok he’s not all alone in the end 😭😭 He reached out for Marcille’s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, it’s okay I’m okay
Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.
Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because they’re h-u-n-g-r-y 💕💕💕
I bet he’s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him they’re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistles…... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?
"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you can’t suppress her in the way that matters. You can’t soothe him in the way that matters. It’s doomed. You’re doomed. It’s all doomed. Save me.
#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thistle#falin touden#thistlin#OOOOH UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP THAT SOMEHOW WORKS OUT SAVE ME#I need them to be traumabonded kittens to not separate post-canon#I’m seeing a raise in post-canon thistle content/interest which makes me v happy#Fumi rambles#Falin learning to disobey orders with Thistle is one of my fave things. EAT THAT CURRY GIRL!!!! Nvm that it’s gonna get you killed#It’s good for the character arc#Falin and thistle sitting on a web o-b-s-e-s-s-i-n-g <3#This is somewhat of a tldr of my huge thistlin post. Plus some thoughts i had in discord or twitter#Keeping it for another day but tbh if you see their dynamic in canon as her thinking/having picked him as her mate it changes nothing#about her behavior which I find funny. Thistle accidentally claimed himself a parrot mate bc he’s bad with monsters confirmed#Ik my thing of them learning to relax and live in the present moment again is pretty fanon BUT IT’S WHAT KUI POINTED TOWARDS#With her calming him down from a panic attack and eating berries. With the baths for dandruffs. Etc. Thistle hasn’t socialized in a long#time and he wouldn’t if it wasn’t a tool he needed to interact with BUT it’s still socialization and it’s getting him in touch with his#surroundings again even if just a bit slowly but surely!! The Toudens have a superpower in reaching Thistle. Bless#How’s that one post go again. he refuses to develop he's part of the problem he maintains the cycle he's trapped in the cycle.#she's growing she's finding her place she escaped her original role she wants to help people she will never save him she will never save hi#Something something they have to abstract each other bc relationships with humans have always been too charged and unsafe#Only by seeing each other as more concept than person more object than peer can they truly be vulnerable#Like the fuckedupness lf their dynamic and state is WHY they’re so attached. Why their dynamic could be so raw and needy#The stars aligned in the worst way. Mission successfully faile#Tfw we both need to feel needed
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Maybe it's a 'study finds water is wet' type of thought, but
considering it's an action movie whose overall plot is "immortal warriors Fuck Shit Up™️", I think it's significant that in The Old Guard the thing that makes Copley pull red strings through his Murder Conspiracy Board and say "[Merrick] doesn't care what [Andy]'s done with [her immortality]" is the people they save, not the ones they kill
Most of the Conspiracy Board is him circling random newspaper headlines and faces on old photographs to (more or less realistically) follow the immortals' treck through the world and big historical events. Which is, in-canon, not much different than putting portraits from different centuries next to a picture of Keanu Reeves and saying "they look the same, clearly Reeves is an immortal!"
But then there are the connections. A little girl holding Joe's hand in WW1 becoming the youngest (and first) woman to be awarded a Nobel Prize for Medicine (suck it, Kozak). Or the grandchild of a family that Andy saved from [something] helping people escape from the Khmer Rouge genocide in Cambodia.
They are warriors. They have fought and been in the midst of countless wars, major or minor, throughout history. They must have killed as many people as they saved... and yet.
It's not them taking out a random warlord or dictator or rabidly hateful politician that has tangible repercussions in history. It's the children and families they get out of war zones, save from accidents, protect from natural disasters. People to whom they give a second chance at life, and grow to change the world (or even just their own world), like a mysterious stranger once changed theirs just by holding out a hand or patching a wound.
I don't know I just think it's particularly neat
#my ponderings#the old guard#I know we all love to play the 'if you could go back in time and kill One Person who would it be' game#but I think a movie that makes it EXTREMELY SATISFYING to see the Bad Guys die -#- having 'actually the best and greatest changes happen when people help each other' as its underlying message...#it means something#I also think it connects to Andy feeling like nothing she does changes anything at the start of the movie#for 80% of her life you could Solve A Problem by Taking Out The Guy Causing The Problem#especially in battle! you kill the general and you win. if you win the Problem Is Solved#but then everything becomes More Complex. the Problems™️ are globalized and/or systemic.#and Winning a Battle means just killing people. it doesn't Stop The Problem (nor really end a war)#so it feels useless#and even when they save people... they can’t stay in people's lives for long because immortality#which means they can never know what happens to the people they save#they don't (and can't) have the full picture
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jail for 10000 years for everyone who passed around those oh if an inactive blog has -deactivated[date] op deactivated. if not staff definitely no other options available terminated them. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO that is literally not true. if you don't know how tumblr actually works why are you trying to tell people how it works? now 90% of the userbase is running around like headless chickens spreading misinfo and not even bothering to fact check and when you check the notes of the post the op is there like hi it's me no that was a sideblog i deleted myself or hi it's me i just changed my url. like how tf do yall even expect to be taken srsly if you dont actually know how tumblr works and you're running around conflating a situation based on misinformation like is this how yall act irl or do yall just lose common sense online fr
#cloud nonsense#ignore me#the thing is there are very many wrongfully terminated blogs#and then there are blogs that were not terminated#and spreading misinfo helps nothing#bc when yall think you have like 100 examples#it'll take one communication from saying actually 95 of those were sideblogs or changed urls#n then your credibility falls flat and you look foolish af#like for the love of the creators of the universe#be sensible act wisely if not ur not helping anything ur just jumping on a trend#n making things worse
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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for the ask game
tim creates a clone of kon, but this is dicktim tim has to carry the fetus or breastfeed it, but dick suddenly gets a mommy kink and immediately falls in love
for the ask game!
DICKTIM MOMMY KINK. how did you know i have such a thing for just about any Batcest ship where the other person calls Tim mommy. i don't even know why i just think that shit is so fun.
it'd have to be Omegaverse for me, that's the only scenario i personally could write m-preg. i like the thought of no one knowing that Tim has gone on this crusade. and after 99 failures, Tim's so desperate and angry he tries in vitro fertilization. the first few times it doesn't work so he doesn't take it too seriously, at this point it's just a compulsion. he gets to a point he stops taking the pregnancy tests. so when about a month later, he's experiencing morning sickness and he's missed his heat, Tim has an 'oh, shit.' moment. and well. telling Dick first is his *natural* answer. (i think he'd also go to Steph, but in canon she'd be "dead" at this point) Tim doesn't know what to do, he didn't think he'd get this far. Dick is comforting and grounding, agreeing to help Tim hide this the best he can. Tim has to time it right, fake a bad injury so it makes sense he's benched and wearing baggy sweaters for a few months.
it's platonic at first. Dick is an alpha but his bond with Tim is more of a pack bond and he's just trying to help Tim through this awkward situation he got himself into. (and not laugh at him too much in the process bc well. only Tim. only Tim could manage this.) the pregnancy hormones have Tim all over the place. he's seeking comfort and Dick is trying to keep it platonic and professional, even when he's cuddling Tim or bringing him weird cravings at 2 am. the trust in Dick and Tim's bond makes Dick Tim's only real support system. (also just bc the Titans were a goddamn mess in this era) maybe at some point they tell Bruce the truth but Bruce is dealing with Jason so. bigger fish. it forces them closer as Dick is the only one who can help Tim with the awkward sides of pregnancy. Dick is basically living with Tim and because Tim can't satiate the itch to be in the field (he's tried sneaking out, it earned him a lecture from Dick and a warning that Dick would handcuff him to the radiator if Tim tried that again) so Tim runs comms. for anyone who asks, but mostly for Dick, to the point he's in Dick's ear even when Dick doesn't need the backup, just to keep each other company.
i think, as the pregnancy went on and Tim's chest started to fill out and his hips are bigger, that's when Dick's feeling shift. one second Tim is just his pack, the next Tim is suddenly a very pretty, very vulnerable omega that's Dick is protecting and his wires get all kinds of crossed about it. he starts dousing himself in scent blockers so Tim doesn't notice the change, can't smell how much Dick wants him. which makes Tim annoyed because Dick's scent has been a consistent calming factor keeping the worst of his hormones in check. it'd lead to an awkward fight where Dick is dancing around the truth and Tim just wants to bite him out of anger. finally, Dick admits it and. Tim kind of bluescreens bc sure he's had a crush on Dick for years, but it's sort of like your celebrity crush calling you up and asking for a date. it makes no sense and he can't wrap his head around it. he almost thinks Dick is making fun of him, because Tim is super self-conscious about the pregnancy and mortified he put himself in this situation. it takes a lot of reassurance and a long conversation, but. well, they do end up having sex.
Dick doesn't *mean* to call Tim mommy the first time. he knows Tim hates being emasculated as an omega, and knows Tim is vulnerable about being pregnant. their sex is gentle, no matter how much Tim insists he can take it because Dick doesn't want to hurt the baby, or Tim. it's when Tim finally huffs with annoyance and flips them over -reminding Dick that Tim is still trained and deadly, even like this- to take control and actually get the rough sex he needs right now, when it slips out. there's something just very pretty about Tim taking control and taking what he needs from Dick, but still being whiny and squirmy on top of him. so the first time Dick calls him mommy is an accident and they're *both* startled by just how much they like it. their sex life goes from soft and caring to *very* interesting overnight, where Dick doesn't hide how much he likes Tim's chest. and well. breastfeeding kink. for completely scientific reasons, of course. just to help the milk flow and make sure Tim's body is adjusting well. definitely not bc of the noises Tim makes when Dick does it no sir.
when Tim finally has the clone baby, they're both smitten with this tiny clone. i think they'd end up mating and either say it's Dick's baby or they adopted it. (the lie only works short term bc well, sooner or later that baby's going to start lifting trucks. not to mention Kon does come back to life and is perturbed by how much Tim's kid looks like him.) it's a very cute, fluffy happily ever after sort of deal, with plenty of mommy kink. i think Tim would be huffy and annoyed at how long he'd have to wait for sex bc in my mind, Tim uses sex as a stress relief and is very annoyed when he's deprived of it so, they'd find creative ways around it.
#necrotic festerings#dicktim#tim drake x dick grayson#dick grayson x tim drake#timdick#batcest#mpreg#nsft#to be clear i'm so not here to yuck anyone's yum about mpreg in the confines of like. normal guy giving birth#it's just not my personal wheelhouse#and tbf you could do this with trans!tim and make it work#but as an afab trans person who's infertile i won't lie. i forget afab trans ppl can have babies.#fully goes over my head.#if you ever read one of my fics and go “why didn't they use protection he could get pregnant??”#know the answer is i fucking *forgot* most afab ppl are fertile.#same with periods bc i don't get mine. straight up forget everyone else does a monthly blood sacrifice.#anywhore#this one is a tad out of my wheelhouse so it was fun to think about!#bc usually i wouldn't explore an idea like this so it was a fun challenge to see how i would do it#do love that mid typing it i checked comic dates to see if steph was 'dead' and she was then i continued on like nothing happened#2006 was a weird era for comics.#i think a soft idea is a fun lil palette cleanser after the dead dove so this one was cute!!#anyway more mpreg should have just the weirdness of pregnancy#messy hormones! cravings! body changes! being unable to tie your own damn shoes!#that's the FUN of it#like dick would regularly see tim naked even before feelings bloomed just because tim needed help getting in his damn pants.#so when feelings start dick is sweating for his life helping Tim dress like. don't be suspicious. don't be suspicious.#tim in dick's clothes bc his own don't fit anymore >>>#i do love mommy kink tho it's my fave how'd you know.#fussy bottom mommy tim. how i love you.
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I feel like Hershel and Desmond would both be afraid of themselves.
If they stop and look at themselves. If they realize what they're doing came from years of pain. Would it all lead to a question of "Who else am I going to hurt?" "How many people have I unintentionally hurt because I never realized what I was really doing?" "How many things of my life have I missed because of this?" "How many things do I—or will I—regret?"
I feel like Layton self-sacrifices to a fault. That others get hurt trying to protect him. That he unknowingly drags other people through pain to get to where he thinks he needs to go. To solve every mystery there is. To get rid of his pain from outside sources, he needs to make as much of it himself under the titles "Determination" and "Amazing at solving things" and "Helping others" because then, how could those things ever hurt him? How could they ever be seen as pain? They're not like his (other) traumas. They don't cause pain at all. Not to mention what he thinks about danger. Danger? What danger? There's no danger here. Just people who are willing to hurt others to get what they want—Which is very sad and shows their pain and he'd very much like to help them in any way possible, if possible. If they show that they don't want to be helped, then it's better to leave them be.
But then again, nothing can ever be someone's fault other than his around him. I think he goes over betrayals thinking, "There must have been something I could have done." or "There must've been something I did." or "If I learn from this, I can make sure it never happens again." or... ... I think he has a hard time accepting that things really aren't his fault / there's really nothing he can do about some situations. Actually, when it comes time for Unwound Future and the whole Evil Layton arc... The only time in which he actually raises his voice is at himself. Is at the version of him that betrayed all of the morals in which he's held onto for so long. But a part of me thinks that, if he knew things were actually his fault, he'd have a problem with that, too... I mean, look at how he reacts to him getting puzzle answers incorrect in CV. In CV. In the 4th game of experience that he's had with puzzles. And a movie. With all that experience and he gets something wrong... he's disappointed in himself. Going back to the UF/LF thing... "I demand an explanation!!" I don't think I'll ever forget that line. I think, from his journal... We know he was trying to think of reasons why he would do something like this. Idk. I'm. Thoughts are not thinking anymore. Um. Wow I really lost my thought process. I was also gonna talk about Desmond. But I guess that's not happening at the moment.
#i will come back to this... maybe.... hopefully#i just think they're really sad people.#if you really look at it.#they're similar.#part of me even thinks that desmond has more pain than layton but. idk#ill get to that... maybe....#i just wish that everyone was happy.#that nothing bad happened ever.#i think they deserve it.#if none of the bad things happened#how much would have changed.#healanalyses#i should start putting it in one word huh#healthoughts#i guess#professor layton#hershel layton#desmond sycamore#healsramblings#they make my head hurt. and i think they'd be afraid of themselves#because i relate to them in more ways than i want to#and im afraid of myself because of it.#i ask myself those same questions#and i heavily relate to hershel and relate somewhat to desmond#and i ask myself if im a monster disguised in righteousness and friendship and healing and positivity#and if everything in my life is my fault or not#and what can i do to help the situations or my friends or things like that#even if everyone says that im the best friend that they know#or the kindest or whatever compliments they give me#somethings lingering within me; telling me i cant accept those words
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not to mention the entire antaam fleet like 😭 that was the PERFECT moment to show off what the lords could do!!! The antaam fucked over rivain, theyve been a thorn in the whole nations side for a long time now, they would not pass up a chance for payback via full scale naval warfare so that the veilguard can do what they need to!! Sure dreadnoughts are dangerous but at this point they probably have tricks up their sleeve, thats one of the few things they have!
also wouldn't it be personal because does solas not try to blow up kont-aar because he's trying to 5d chess tevinter and the qunari into destroying each other. like. i know technically this would not be incredible widespread news because the attack was stopped, but i don't think the wonderful citizens of kont-aar would have missed the tsunami that nearly hit them and the shockwave that actually hit them. rumors go around. and i assume irian/vadis tell varric. who i think would tell isabela. who would tell the group she leads. who would care because ofc, they LIVE IN RIVAIN, and now know that solas and his followers thinks they can trade rivaini lives* to further his plans.
*while i also think there's probably a divide between kont-aar and the rest of the nation, it's one that the rivaini love to jump across and back over. an interesting comparison to be made here with most of rivain having similar sentiments towards dairsmuid and the chantry. like this is the country specifically mentioned to have a lot of citizens who follow the qun/are non-andrastian + it being MUCH more multicultural and accepting than other nations. any attack on rivain, even if it's a qunari settlement, would fan a lot of flames that solas cannot put out so the idea of trying to him taking multiple steps back because he didn't realise how intensely the qun/rivaini/lords would react is very fun for me. it would have been soo interesting for rivain to be a hub for efforts against solas because of how it's not influenced by andrastianism, how he (or his agents) specifically fucked them over, and (maddeningly for solas) also part of this resistance has spirits who willingly guide them against him. this could have even been a plot device where the door goes both ways and solas finds out rook's plans because he manages to eavesdrop through a seer or something.
and on the spirits. all the stuff where the mourn watch regularly communicates with spirits could have been done with rivain as well, and with different takes on being 'friendly' with spirits. iirc there's a spirit in the hall of valor which is so interesting but it's literally just there for flavour text. THERE'S A SPIRIT IN THE HALL OF VALOR THAT DOES NOTHING BESIDES LIKE. SAY HI. ??? bioware i would have liked to see more spirits and seers and the matriarchal pantheists you have talked about please. and also the idea of the peaceful qunari settlement being pushed to protect the country they are part of and what that means for them as qunari vs. rivaini. taash's storyline could have contributed to this . so A LOT less about choosing a side, more about how kont-aar has developed, changed, how rivain has influenced it and what it means to be qunari. not the qunari agents and fighters that we have seen, but their 'civillian' way of life in kont-aar.
complete waste not seeing any of established lore reflected in the lords of fortune or rivain because i stupidly actually thought we were going to see some kind of settlement and be introduced to a very different cultural norms.. in my beautiful mind i like to think taash is a little taken aback by how badly mages/elves/etc are treated. like they understood it was different outside of rivain (they would have been young when the dairsmuid circle annulment happened right? so they don't 'remember' it themself, they likely heard others talking about it when they're old enough to understand) but until they actually saw what was happening first hand, they had a weird dissonance about it. but what we got was a deserted beach, ties to another faction (wardens are fine!! they are great !!!! the fourth blight is interesting!!!! yet they are not the faction with a lack of info about them!!!!!) and also the hall of valor that exists as flavor text with nothing meaningful behind it besides a pub used in a few cutscenes and a minigame.
#it's just hard to discuss the qunari in general when it is so obviously written to be quote unquote bad#and theyre like. in veilguard. really just reduced to being an invading force. which they were before. but there's literally nothing else#not a single character that explains more about the qun or how it operates + the game presenting choices about taash#that obviously lean towards favoring rivain. god knows why. its not like we know enough about it to choose it#even a quick peek into a rivaini lifestyle would have been helpful. all we know are from lorebooks !!!!#its actually like. 'qun would have made taash into a weapon/they are actively invading treviso/theyre working w ghil+el/shathaan' etc#and then on rivain's side the points are just 'umm. well the lords are super nice. and love freedom... and its also NOT qunari!'#there ARE reasons to pick rivain just none of them are in the fuck ass game. no one who doesnt read the books would know this shit#does anyone know why the antaam are acting outside of their orders. i dont rmb if this was explained or if its supposed to be like#a very severe response to solas and defying orders to 'deal' with a threat?#but god. kont-aar as it exists is so interesting. maybe elements of like .#'the main qun ignore the changes in kont-aar/rivain because it's such an important part of their trade' situation. idk#i just cant see a lot of the extremely rigid qun followings actually meshing with this extremely 'accepting' culture that is in rivain#eg. rivaini seers allowing possessions vs. sareebas#but its said that the rivaini pantheists actually have lots in common with the teachings of the qun (?)#and again. its peaceful. most of the issues that are mentioned in games/etc are to do with the ORLESIAN chantry causing issues in rivain#so it just. makes me think. maybe things have changed and there's a blind eye to whatever happens in kont-aar#or if there are more hostilities or issues caused by their differing beliefs then it would be good to fucking like. hear about it#plus the qun in general is just. worldbuilding standpoint is like. what. im not a guy who knows too much about this part of da lore so#i had to fact check a few things while writing this response and some of the answers were like#just so unbelievable that im choosing to do whatever i want#anyways. sorry. got out of hand. let me know if anything i said isnt true#its entirely possible. my knowledge of rivain is patchwork but this is probably to do with the fact there's not a lot. yeah#god. i have to stop talking now. thank u anon for agreeing w me. sorry u asked me about the lords and i took it as an excuse#to air out my issues w rivain. because tyche was partially built up around that and then none of it even mattered#veilguard spoilers#answered#rivain
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its crazy how coming into clinical social work, i really just thought I was up against systems and cycles of trauma....but it turns out i'm up against those two things AND other therapists. the amount of work spent correcting mistakes from other clinicians--whether with clients or during the classroom--is fucking crazy.
i totally get we're all on different journeys in terms of being clinicians. but it is insane finding out day after day of therapists and clinicians saying the worst things ever to clients. demeaning them, telling them "it's all in their head", the racism and the ableism and harm that is caused. like no fucking wonder people are afraid to seek therapy (on top of the accessibility issues). while i'm a little biased and think that at the very least clinical social work training focuses on viewing people within their environments (so not engaging in the medical/individualist models of practice that a lot of counseling programs focus on), that doesn't mean it gives every person the skills to be an effective therapist. i'm also not saying i'm the best clinician ever--I'm literally in training--but boy! it is jarring seeing how some of my peers interact in class and wondering...is that how you are with your clients??
my social work program at the very least also has a focus on anti-racism, but i know students from other programs and some of them don't even mention racism AT ALL and focus entirely on diagnosing people "correctly", or finding the perfect form of therapy to use on a client. but man, what none of these programs teach are basic life skills. wanting to be a clinician isn't enough, especially considering that an inhumane amount of people in my program are 1. so nervous about making mistakes that they lose scope of their practice 2. have so much internalized racism/white guilt to work thru 3. or they have absolutely no listening skills.
again, im not trying to make it seem like I am the number 1 clinician in the world ever. I don't even have a psych background or bachelor's in social work. my reasons for going into social work are quite selfish (I want a job that is very flexible, easily transferable, and can be done in different contexts), and the helping people part is just a plus. i'm just saying it's very jarring seeing other people in training and realizing they too are working with clients. i have conversation after conversation about these issues with other BIPOC/queer/marginalized clinicians, so I know i'm not the only person worried about some of the people that will be out of this program in a few years practicing on their own or with vulnerable populations.
#muerto talks#just rambling#maybe im just a hater virgo with a strong sense of justice#i am just forever perplexed#learning that some of my classmates believe that you can be racist to white people is crazy#learning that some of my classmates are rude and dismissive to BIPOC students but they work in BIPOC communities#learning that some of my classmates weaponize their mental illnesses as an excuse to act shitty to professors classmates or clients is craz#there are zionists??? trying to be social workers??????#i literally have classes with zionists#some people r doing a whole ass career change because they had a spiritual calling to help people??#again not saying im such a great clinician im in training just like the rest of my program#but you cannot like tell me to even try to be hopeful about some of the people who will be my collegues in a year#because i have no hope for them#and its going to take making serious mistakes for them to maybe snap out of it#and that fucking sucks#nothing in my body feels safe around those people#like idc maybe im an elitist with impossible standards#maybe im the one asking too much from these people.....#the cognitive dissonance is real in these people man
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everything abt the httyd remake feels like such a deep insult to the first film. Insulting animation as an artform, insulting the texture and lighting work that still holds up so so well. Insulting everything they put in to make it such a tightly written and skillful film. Like what could you improve with this scene, the amount of character you get from toothless here and seeing his thought process, fhe mix of accepting his fate, weariness and curiosity, you're just sucking the life and intention out of it for what. To see the dirt in between toothless's scales? Guess what you can already see that in the first movie. To flatten the lighting, remove all mood so you can see how good they modeled his new scales? Show you how real the mulch looks. Whatever. They do this all the time but this is personal (autism) you're being shown up by a film from 2010. She is eating you ALIVE. Even the other httyd films couldn't quite re-capture what they did with toothless in this first one, they remodeled him ever so slightly and he lost that edge of intelligent Animal, and became a Slightly more condensed version of himself now that his personality was established.
#i can see his tear duct i can see inside his nose i can see the where his#bigger scales thin out into softer ones#even the choice to make his eye colour such a loud green instead of the paler one#it's like yes that's an eye that's a HD eye texture i know i get it#it looks realer in the first shot. like everything else#like i was a dragon obsessed kid when this came out i was eating up every detail#you can see those subtle mottled patterns across toothless in certain light#when he's abt to attack stoic you can see the methane gas building in his throat first#for the sake of grounding these designs they incorporated Every detail you could ask for#literally the only thing that wasn't realistic is when toothless is stuck in the gorge and needs to rescue hiccup#and he clings to the edge of the caldera and his Claw the nail of his claw changes shape to be more hooked to get a better grip#that's it and we get why that happens for the scene it's good#DISCRETION. you need doscretion every shot can't be a vfx showcase#environmental lighting is always going to obscure some detail it's going to react differently it looks so fake because nothing is being#obscured or effected by their environment#the way the shadows react to toothles in the first shot gives such a good sense of his form. it makes it moody#it makes it feel colder and the shadows on his face help obscure his mouth making him harder to read. okay#can anypony hear me#what's wrong with you
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Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.
#simon says#to explain here and not in a reblog:#sometimes when you try to explain big picture solutions you're gonna sound dumb#you might not have done enough research#you might not have a rebuttal to a counter argument#you might not be articulate enough to explain why you think this#sometimes you gotta take a step back and give the simple solution. the one man solution#you do what you can to fight against the problem#you talk to people to help spread awareness and how to fight the bad problem#and you vote and invite others to vote for bigger steps towards solving the problem#like you can talk about theory and how you believe we need to do a huge drastic thing to solve and issue#but people will disagree and argue til you're blue in the face#they'll poke and prod until you mess up or lose your temper and use it against you#and you'll feel dumb and they'll learn nothing#sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the big picture and just say 'idk what the solution is I just know the things I can do“#sometimes you gotta admit you're not a scientist/expert and you can't answer that#i used this while talking with my Dad tonight#he brought up our climate crisis and space travel as a possible solution#and I said I think that's just addressing the symptom and not the cause and we need to care for our Earth now#and he asked me what solutions I think would fix it#and knowing my incredibly smart Dad who is articulate and ready to throw rebuttles at a moments notice to play devils advocate#and my past experience in struggling in this topic with him before#i just told him I didn't know. all i knew is the little things I can and do do to help#and that hopefully by spreading the word and habits and encouraging others to vote for those bigger solutions I could help make a change#but all I really could do is the little things I have control over#and the topic became much less stressful about the little things we have control over#like planting native plants and recycling and adopting habits that are healthier to our planet#which was 100% more preferable to if I tried to give a big solution. because I would reveal i didn't have all the knowledge needed to argue#and my articulation would make me sound like a stupid kid who only thinks they know what's best#so yeah I basically suggest that if you dont wanna feel like shit after debating someone just step away from the big picture for a moment
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is it just me or is it Weird that ppl will see someone being gnc or doing smth atypical for their gender & immediately jump to assuming theyll be trans & misgendering them by using their "future pronouns"
eg a guy talking abt how much he likes wearing feminine clothes & the comments being stuff like "give her time, shell figure it out <3" like ok. sure they Could transition later on but for now youre just misgendering them for no reason. not everyone is an egg & sometimes you do more harm than good by assuming they are
#idk i just think ppl automatically equating being gnc to being trans is. not helpful. to anyone#you can suggest someone to evaluate their gender if you rlly think they could benefit from it but dont misgender them in the process ???#if they do change pronouns later thats cool but you still have to respect their Current ones :|#ppl dont all have the same experiences! maybe smth that was a sign of You being trans is just personal choice for someone else#maybe you liked certain clothes for gender reasons but someone else just likes wearing those clothes for fun. nothing is universal#ok thats my rant 4 the day#torch chatter#me when i complain
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