#but it happens to cis queer men too

[cupcake-bee-boy]

Someone told me today that masculinity is a prison. Like, just straight to my face. I’m so fucking tired of this. Just be normal about masculine people. It’s not hard.

Do you know why the term is “toxic masculinity”? Because normal masculinity isn’t fucking toxic!! It’s wonderful and amazing and freeing. It’s so fucking freeing. I feel like myself, something teenage and child me never got to have. I finally feel like myself. I finally feel HAPPY!! I feel ALIVE!!!

And it’s not like toxic femininity is fake. It’s real, and it’s out there. It’s trad wives. It’s terfs to an extent. It’s white women and their fucking tears. And I’m sure toxic androgyny and stuff like that exists too, even if it’s not widely known or talked about.

Just be normal. Treat people like normal human beings. Stop being so weird about masculine people. It doesn’t make you an ally or a good queer or a feminist or whatever. It just lets people know that you’re probably a dangerous person to be around, or at the very least have been brainwashed by dangerous people.

[non-un-topo]

"It's not dysphoria" I say as I write an entire assignment on my own invisible queerness and gender identity, and as I feel like tearing my skin off and crawling into a cave forever

[wild-at-mind]

If you ever see me becoming one of those transmisandry people, please fucking call me out immediately.

[lastoneout]

*grabbing young queer people by the shoulders* listen to me. radical feminism is inherently transphobic. you cannot rehabilitate it or reclaim it or make it trans inclusive, I don't care what the people on twitter who claim to be authorities on queerness say. the foundation of radical feminism is nothing but bio and gender essentialism and biphobia and aphobia and anti-kink rhetoric and intersexism and yes, misogyny. it does not offer a future, not for bi people, aroace people, sex workers, not for kinksters, or intersex people, cis women, or trans people regardless of gender and you should care about those people. it will never result in queer liberation because it is an ideology of exclusion and hatred. you gain nothing by buying into the idea that half the population is evil by birth or by transition. you gain nothing by acting like women are perpetual victims who can't think for themselves and are tainted by their association with men. being a man or being attracted to them is not a sin. if we truly want to stand a chance of dismantling the patriarchy we actually NEED men on our side especially marginalized men. they are our allies.

the problem with terfs is not just transphobia, it never was, the radical feminism is also so unbelievably harmful. you cannot save it and it will not save you, stop drawing lines between queer people and join hands with them instead. remove people who are actually harmful, not innocent people who happen to have the wrong sexuality or gender or job. we get there together or we don't get there at all. we need each other now more than ever. do not listen to those who seek to divide us even if they are queer. we all deserve so much better than the hell radical feminism pretends is a liberated future.

I do not blame anyone who fell prey to this rhetoric, I know it feels good to have a common enemy and lash out at those you think are siding with them however they do it, but men, especially marginalized men, are not your enemies. and it's never too late to realize that and change for the better.

[spacelazarwolf]

doing the thing where i copy paste and put in bold for emphasis:

The problem is not that trans women are uniquely more oppressive towards trans men than other women. The problem is that female abusers in general, be they cis or trans, lesbian or straight, see trans men as an acceptable target for sexual violence, and couch it in terms of whatever social justice language allows them to claim that trans men have systemic power over them merely for being men

One evening, I was at the LGBTQIA center for a trans committee and I was the only trans man in attendance. One trans woman told me she never understood how I could want to be a "disgusting man".

Later that evening, she told me she'd love to swap bodies with me (I was pre T, pre op and didn't bind). I told her I didn't understand why she'd want to have the body of a "disgusting man".

She called me transmisogynistic.

Oh, the irony.

[genderkoolaid]

Over the years, I have observed that it’s easier for people to digest sex work when it’s done in a subversive way. Think of the way pro dommes are celebrated because their job is “to treat cis-men like shit”, or of the recent marketing trend around “ethical” porn. Yet, being a true ally means accepting sex work in all of its forms. If you find sex work praiseworthy when it’s queer and anticonformist, but you frown upon it when it’s done for the male gaze, I would like to invite you to examine your feeling as internalised whorephobia. What you praise is not what most sex work is like. The majority of sex work is not queer and it’s not anticonformist — the majority of sex work is focused on cis-men. It’s true that doing sex work for the male gaze mostly perpetuates social gender dynamics, but I would like to ask how damaging that really is if it’s done consciously and consensually. It’s a little bit like kink and domination: women who decide to be submissive in BDSM are replaying social gender dynamics, but they choose to do it for different reasons. I would apply the same line of thinking to sex work. If what we do in traditional sex work is consensual, it’s infantilising for people to call us out as pure objects of male desire without agency – that is objectifying us too. If you think that sex work is not feminist, that’s because the society we live in is not feminist. This discussion is too complex and nuanced to be tied to the black-and-white view “no male gaze equals empowerment” vs. “male gaze equals disempowerment.” Violence against sex workers is everywhere on this planet, and one of the factors (besides bad laws) that contribute to that is people seeing us as lesser humans, deserving of little or no respect. That makes us easy targets, the punching bags people can abuse without feeling guilty or ashamed. That’s why it’s important to produce a cultural discourse where sex workers are respected for what they do, even when it’s for the male gaze. Dancing for the male gaze in the strip club might not contribute to changing society, but the question is: is the strip club or any of our workplaces the right place to change society? Doesn’t change come from other places? From schools, from families, from social circles? Our workplaces are for the exact purpose they are called: for work. I never saw anyone asking a plumber to be responsible for societal change. We still have bills to pay, we happen to pay them by exploiting the male gaze, and it’s whorephobic to condemn us for that. Sex workers are tired of being scapegoats for society’s problems.

[jellyfemmedyke]

sorry to ramble in your inbox but its kinda fucking me up how "trans man with a cishet boyfriend who misgenders him behind his back" is like seen to be a person to make fun of in the general queer tumblr space instead of a person who is in a vulnerable situation. i know that there is trans men who are also women and there are trans men who are genuinely okay with dating a cis man who considers himself straight but people talking about these hypothetical couples arent talking about these situations but rather about "haha stupid trans man doesnt realize hes dating a bigot"

theres this attitude that the hypothetical cishet boyfriend is actually a conservative so it should be obvious to trans man that he doesnt respect his identity but i feel like its less "oh its obvious that this specific man is a bigot" and more "obviously cishet white men are bigots" and its weird how people laugh at this person instead of acknowledging that even if you are dating a bigot its usually not a big win for you personally. like the bigot cishet boyfriend isnt going to be okay with his trans man boyfriend starting testosterone. like we can sympathize with emotional abuse happening towards other groups but when its gay and mspec trans men its like "oh he should have known that would happen" or "its his fault for dating a bigot"?

of course people have the same making fun of the victim narrative with afab nonbinary people who date cishet men who misgender them [and im sure this bleeds over to affecting all nonbinary people if people arbitrarily decide theyre afab if the nonbinary person refuses to tell them personal information about themselves but the larger narrative always specifies that this is an afab person] and its almost like a "this is what you get for being attracted to men" sort of thing.

and also i theres something to be said about warning people for signs their partner or potential partner doesnt respect their identity but considering i imagine its a common anxiety among trans and nonbinary people who are into that sorta thing to wonder "am i ever going to find someone who loves me and is also accepting of me for being [insert gender here]?" its sort of fucked up for it to be common to basically claim "yea if youre dating a cis man who said he was straight before he started dating you but says he respects your identity hes probably just straight up lying to your face" and then laugh at the person getting misgendered for not knowing they were being misgendered.

anyway sorry for this big ramble i cant even remember specific instances of this to reference so i might seem like im making up a guy to be mad at but i swear this is like a general attitude and almost running joke i see around. anyway. have a good day.

I absolutely see that too, and I think it's a mixture of straight up victim blaming, because oh noo how dare you WANT to date *gasp* cis men

but it come with an intense transandrophobia and exorsexism because there's a lot more sympathy when it comes to cis women dating cishet men "poor things uwu" but when it's trans men or in this case non binary people assumed to be women, it's always "see I told you so" smug superiority. (cis women get this too, because of misogyny obviously, but it's different and worse for trans men) People are just waiting for a chance to be misogynistic and trans men are an acceptable target. This is honestly extra fucked up when we remember that trans men experience some of the highest rates of domestic violence and rape in the community though.

being trans is such a vulnerable place to be in, and a lot of people, trans or not are insecure or just want to be loved, that's normal. A lot of people are willing to accept certain behaviors from their partners that are bad, because of those reasons as well, victim blaming, and ESPECIALLy telling trans men to toughen up or "what did you expect" is apart of the toxic expectations that get placed of trans men as well. I could honestly go on for hours about this. good ask,anon

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

would you like to tell us about your research on virginity?

but also...wdym STIs aren't as scary as we think??? I was told most of them are incurable? I know you can make aids untrasmittable and that they've even succeded in curing it a couple times but that's about it. I would love to be educated about this

yeah, the basic idea with the virginity project was that the whole concept of virginity is pretty bullshit in the context in which it was initially significant, namely cisgender women being penetrated by cisgender men, so as soon as you take it outside of that context by introducing gay and trans sexuality it totally falls apart. I mean, hell, it stops working if you even look at two cishet people doing literally anything OTHER than penis-in-vagina sex. I tripped up so many people initially when I started asking questions like "okay, so you don't think a woman loses her virginity from a man going down on her. so what if it's two women? what's the difference?" and just really getting people to face down their very penis-centered view of the sex, to the result of several people telling me that it kind of made them reevaluate what they actually think of as the first time they had sex. it's also fascinating to either read other people's accounts or discuss firsthand how queer people have either tried to make themselves fit into the binary of virginity - queer man disagreeing over whether or not you have to have penetrative anal sex to lose your virginity or oral sex is sufficient, a fascinating case of a lesbian who felt that have sex with other cis women didn't "count" and asked a cis male friend to have sex with her just so she could feel satisfied that she'd lost her virginity - or abandon it entirely. Hanne Blank's book Virgin was a formative starting point, and it really exploded for me from there.

as for the STIs - hey, bad news! you fell victim to the scare tactics used to make people afraid of sex! almost all sexually transmitted infections are very easy to treat and cure with the right medicine, which is why it's important to get tested regularly and check in with your healthcare provider at the first sign of something amiss. pubic lice, scabies, trichomoniasis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis - all of those are pretty easy to get rid of with some help from your doctor and a run to the pharmacy!

the major exceptions are the 4 H's: herpes, HIV, HPV, and hepatitis B.

herpes is with you forever but is an incredibly mild companion to share your body with, considering most people never experience any notable symptoms and those who do can curb the severity with medicine.

it's also worth noting that herpes is so common as to be virtually ubiquitous; the World Health Organization consistently estimates that somewhere around 80% of the world's adult population is carrying herpes simplex virus 1 or herpes simplex virus 2. a great deal of those people don't even get it from having sex, but rather by catching HSV-1 from a parent or other people they come is close contact with as a child.

you're actually thinking of HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) when you mention AIDS becoming untransmittable, but that's still a very good thing! the care available for people with HIV has come incredibly far since AIDS first became known and claimed so many lives, and today it's more than possible for people infected with HIV to live long, healthy lives by taking the proper medication to manage their viral load.

with management, people with HIV will not develop AIDS (which happens when the immune system is sufficiently depleted by HIV) and by consistently taking their medication people with HIV can become undetectable (the viral load in their body is too small to be detected or measured in tests), at which point they are unable to transmit the virus to other people.

HPV (human paillomavirus) comes in many different strains, most of which are absolutely harmless and go away on their own after a couple of months or years of freeloading in your body. I cannot emphasize this enough: HPV is so common that virtually everyone who has sex has, will have, or has had it in their lives, and the vast, VAST majority of those people will never be troubled by it literally at all.

the trouble comes from a few strains of HPV that can cause genital warts, and a few others that can cause cancers in the throat, anus, cervix, vulva, vagina, and penis. while HPV can't be treated, you can reduce your risk of developing cancer by getting the HPV vaccine if you haven't already and, if you have a cervix, getting regular Pap smears to catch early warning signs of cancerous developments.

hepatitis B is a viral infection that targets the liver. in rare cases it can cause chronic health problems that can be very dangerous, but I have to emphasize that's not common. in most adults who get hep B, there will be no symptoms and it will resolve itself in a matter of weeks. the infection is riskiest in children, but at least in America most people have received vaccines against hepatitis B as babies since the 90s.

in conclusion: get your shots, take your medicine, use protection, get tested, and talk to your doctor, but know that if there's one thing humans are good at it's figuring out how to manage STIs. we've been doing it for a long time - most sexually transmitted infections and parasites have been with us since before we we became modern humans - so we're really good at it!

[theabigailthorn]

Have you ever gone on a date and a girl thought you were cis and you had to be like actually I’m trans? Like it seems like a double standard it’s not like cis people start off flirting with “hey I’m cis” but it just seems like it could risk dangerous situations (maybe less so with queer women than with men) if someone was like surprised.

So hilariously enough that did happen to me once and she responded by telling me she was too and had been stealth for seven years and was debating whether or not to tell me - it was a wild coincidence lol, neither of us had any idea about the other

[max1461]

A brief list of things that Saved Us From 2014:

In 2014, the world was a different place. Facts and logic were invented by white men to say that feminism is bad. Astrology was queer culture and not to be criticized, or appropriated. Star Wars was really important. Thankfully, a few things happened.

Bernie Sanders. Have you heard of "socialism"? It's not just something from the history books, kids, you can actually be a socialist. Or, at least call yourself one. The word socialist is back. Ok, ok, it's still important to have greygender rep in your fan art but I'm hearing about all this socialism stuff, I'm hearing about the economy? The economy is important for social justice too, I guess? Who knew...

Trans men. We all know that #killallmen, right, we know that men suck. But wait, these men don't suck, because they're trans. But wait, does that mean we're not treating them like cis men, which is transphobic? Shit. I'm getting confused. Let's pull back on the #allmensuck shit until we figure this out.

TERFs. Ok, wait. These guys are feminists, but they're like, bad? They're like, not good, but they're feminists. Interesting. So it's more than just being a feminist, I guess, you have to be the right kind of feminist. Noted.

Covid. Ok. So. Doctors. The right, they don't like doctors now. But doctors are like, science, which is like atheism, which is like alt-right? I'm getting confused. But we like doctors now, we trust doctors. #trusttheexperts. Doctors. Science. Hey, the right is denying science! And, I mean, science is true, you can't deny science!

And just like that, 2014 was over. Unfortunately, 2020 had just begun...

[gooobraghhh]

As a hypersexual trans guy, I wanna say thank you on behalf of the entire transmasc community for literally all your posts

It's so easy to feel gross (in a bad way) for being horny and as trans people avoiding being fetishized is impossible, so you taking so much time out of your day to mess around with trans guys while actually seeing them as men and not being a creep is like queer charity work or smth, I just really appreciate what you do and I'm sure alllll the other needy tboys do too /gen

Thank you so much this has to be one of the nicest asks I’ve ever gotten because like this is very important to me.

There’s so little trans porn that’s like validating to the trans persons gender. I could write a whole thing about trans women but it also happens with trans men a lot. I just really don’t like that the only way trans men are considered attractive is through what’s societally attractive about women. Trans men are pushed to be like small, petite, hairless, shy, submissive if they want to be sexy and still are really just perceived as like woman in disguise almost. It’s fine for a trans man to be any of those things just like how it’s fine for a cis man to be any of those things but it makes me upset that that’s the only way trans men are considered attractive especially in porn. I love trans guys that are big or hairy and have masculine hobbies or personality traits. I love to see trans men that express themselves in a masculine way, they are hot and they can be manly while submissive or dominant and I wish I could see more sexual content where trans masculinity is celebrated. I think it would also help a lot of trans men that worry embracing masculine things or going on t will make them unattractive or undesirable.

[olderthannetfic]

I was reading a fic and genuinely enjoying myself up until the author decided to make a huge deal, in their AN, about how their protagonist is bi. As in ACTUALLY bi, not that stupid "straight with one exception" trash homophobic fujoshits write. I'm a cis man. I am heterosexual with exactly one exception. I don't know why. I went through years telling myself I was just confused. I heard from my queer friends at the time that only being interested in one other man wasn't a thing, that it was actually me being confused in the other direction, hiding all my crushes and desires from myself.

My family was convinced I was straight. My friends were convinced I was bi for a lot of men, I just wasn't admitting it. My now husband was the only one who told me it was fine. He's gay and he had a crush on one woman, once. Exceptions happen.

So at the risk of siding with the dreaded (presumed cis, presumed het, presumed white) enemy known as women, I... actually like the whole "if it's you, it's okay" thing. I don't assume an evil fetishizer who hates queers is writing it. It never reads that way. It reads as a story, just like any other story. A way to be queer just like any other valid option. Queerness is a spectrum. Not everyone is bi in the same way or gay or lesbian or anything else. The Kinsey Scale exists for a reason.

I spent five years in and out of therapy and church trying to fix myself. Being bi in any way was too much for my family. It was "get rid of the gay or get out" territory of panic. I could have a family or I could have my feelings for him. Choosing him involved giving up everyone I had grown up with. It involved years further of "so you can admit now that you had other male crushes, right?" no matter how many times I said no until I had to cut some queer friends out of my life, too.

And I'm not "ACTUALLY bi", apparently. I'm a trashy homophobic stereotype fujoshi came up with. I'm not actually bi. Real bi men have an equal number of women and men they're into. Bi is code for 50/50 or else you're, you know. Basically fictional. Definitely doing it wrong.

Upon some digging, I found out the writer is a lesbian woman. You would think with all the shit lesbians get she'd know better. I've seen people try to tell lesbians they aren't lesbians because "oh you dated a guy once" or "uh, you had sex with a man, you can't be" and all kind of shit that makes no sense whatsoever. So for her to turn around and go, "there is a single correct way to be a bi man" is just insane. Ma'am. Ma'am. You should know that's not how queerness works! You're queer!

This has annoyed me so much that for the first time in nine years I have pulled up a Microsoft Word document and I am writing fanfic. I am going to write so much It's Okay If It's You, one-exception-only queer fanfic.

Because it's fine to be queer even if it's this way, actually. It's fine to be queer, period! There are not rigid rules to it, that's one of the biggest joys of it!

I feel so old and tired and I'm only 40. Jesus Christ. "ACTUALLY bi". Fuck. The world is broken.

--

[activistwitch]

Illegal Women

on the UK Supreme Court Ruling on the definition of biological sex and why it should piss you off too.

I won’t have the patience nor ability to go into it in detail as my spouse Raven has done us the gift to do, so my best advice right off the bat is for you to set aside a couple of hours, a glass of wine or any other nervous sedation of your persuasion, and put this on your TV

for a quick and insufficient TL:DR, on Wednesday 15th of April the UK Supreme Court published a ruling on the definition of Biological Sex. That’s because two Gender Critical (TERF) organisations, with money funnelled from the likes of JK Rowling and the american Heritage Foundation (the ones who wrote project 2025 and to whom you owe the current state of the US fascist regime), decided to take the Scottish Parliament to court a few years ago.

The offence? Including Trans Woman in a Bill for quotas in boards of directors, so that it would be enshrined in law that at least 50% of the members of a board had to be women. Of course, both cis and trans.

Ben Cooper, the same lawyer who took Tavistock to court on behalf of Keira Bell, the same lawyer who again, paid partially by JK Rowling defended Maya Forstarter and furthered trans oppression, wrote a pamphlet of “rules” out of the most terfist, gender critical ideology that one can possibly imagine. Despite many a trans person and organisations asked the court to bring also their knowledge and lived experience as witness, they were all rejected.

And now the UK Supreme Court has simply put their signature and ratified the definition of “woman” terfs gave them: someone with gestational capacity.

read it again.

“but what about menopausal women?! but what about people with reproductive health issues? without uteruses? who cannot bear children?”

Oh yeah you got it, any reasonable argument against it has been shrugged at.

You thought telling terfs “if you want toilets to be single sex spaces based on genitals do you want this bearded trans me in them!?” was a gotcha? Here they are showing us that in a world where you have billionaire fascists behind you, you don’t need to be right to win.

And in fact according to this rule now, all trans women, and also trans men “who look too masculine” are now excluded.

Like Jess o’Thomson covers in her first article about this legal absurdity: this is Gender Critical’s gloating at having their cake and eat it too, making it clear that if you thought reason, science, facts, were anything to describe the world by? You were sorely mistaken. All it takes is money and the white cis het able establishment to make the rules. about people they have no representation or idea of, and that they openly rejected the witness of.

In this video Raven has put over 7 years of research, because the moment we stepped into the awareness of our queerness, of our transness, we knew we had to have every single little bit of information to advocate and defend ourselves.

and now it’s proof that even that, can be not enough.

And they don’t even hide it anymore. Here’s JK Rowling reaction to the ruling, behind which it is public knowledge, she put 70000£ of her own money. When Labour won in July 2024 she also demanded a meeting making sure Labour’s policies earned her donations (in the realm of Millions of pounds) by guaranteeing gender critical stances.

if you’re wondering what is happening, how is this happening, how did we go from Tory Prime Minister Theresa May saying in 2017 that she would have reformed the Gender Recognition Act of 2004 to de-medicalise it “because trans is not an illness”, to Labour re-appointing Baroness Falkner into the “Equality and Human Rights Commission” who had already been called out by 30+ LGBTQ+ organisations as doing the exact opposite the label said, this is the story.

sit down, listen, learn, and understand why this ruling harms you whether you’re cis or trans.

This ruling is a stepping stone into the complete annihilation of bodily autonomy for everyone.

This is the kind of people that with no shame, has paid for women’s rights to be rolled back (cis woman in a lesbian relationship with a trans woman? Fuck you, you’re not a lesbian anymore, the court ruling actually says that) and tells you you are now “protected”.

you decide who you need protection from now, or next when they tell you that elective hysterectomy because of your endometriosis is not quite something They think you need, especially if you’re white and of child bearing age.

Cause if the population is shrinking, but the war on immigrants is at an all time high, where do you think new labourers will need to come from?

Two seminal pieces of work this research could not have come together without are here on substack, go check them out

@taliabhattwrites The Third Sex

@dolphin-diaries Detrans Women v. Trans Men, Or: The Sanity Of Sex Change

Go watch the full video to understand where Trans People come from, and how since the 1960s trans rights have been rolled back, with the courts hiding cases for precedent, and overall protecting the statue quo with patriarchy at the top happily supporting capitalism. Cause that’s what it all ends up to be: this shows you don’t need to be right to win, you just need to be rich.

[0w0tsuki]

My thing about the femboy discourse is that I don't think there's much value in trying to delineate whether femboys are "really TMA" because that's not my fucking problem with femboys. My problem is something even the other trans feminists who've talked about this have had to tip-toe around and I'm just going to outright say it.

A MAJORITY of self identified femboys/femboy attracted people (yeah because our problem is not with the identity in and of itself but how the attraction to the transfeminine body while denying the transfemininity is a core tenent to Femboy culture. This cis girl who's into femboys because she sees them as someone that she as a woman can have power over un the patriarchy is a part of this conversation too) in the WIDER online community (Tumblr is a bubble!) are OPEN transmisogynists. Open as in they loudly proclaim their view of transfems as men, their complete disrespect of transfems boundaries, and their fetishisation of all transfeminine bodies as their preferred male sex object. Open as in STEALING the identity of Transfem Sex workers for their sissy scam blogs. Open as in harassing anyone they can get their hands on about how transfemininity is shoved down their throats. Open as in they can get together and make entire social media sites unusable with their bitchfit crybaby tantrums about Transfem existence.

Everybody loves to come together and make fun of these cretins when they get together to rage about the newest Transfem confirmation as a way to virtue signal being to recognize obvious out and proud transmisogyny and then collectively snap their fingers to forget about them the instant they quite down. The instant they would have to recognize that people like this are ALWAYS this vocal about it in their personal lives they just aren't as organized. The instant they would have to recon that there is a large contingent of mspec transmisoginists who are obsessed with transfems and make it their life's goal to sexualize our existence as much as possible while denying us our femininity and humanity.

The instant that they would have to recon that perhaps femboy isn't a queer friendly catchall term for "feminine boy" and is actually a term with history. That in that history there is trauma, exploitation, and harrasment. That that history is happening daily. That there are transfems whose only history with the term IS THAT HISTORY. That there are transfems whose experience with femboys has been the most transmisogynistic hateful bile she's ever experienced.

The instance a transfem asserts that she might not be 100% comfortable being around self identified femboys. That she might not not take kindly to the assertion that they are essentially the same thing and that infact femboys are her closest ally in the queer community. She's told to put all that to the side because uwu soft bean tboys would self combust from sadness if they were forced to think for even a second that their new word for gender expression might not be the purest thing in the world and they would actually have to be considerate of how they interact with others.

Then she's an evil perisex bio essentialist who just hates men being feminine and gender nonconformity and is trying to pull the ladder up by denying eggs femboy culture. She's actually actually an anti-sex puritan whose having an autogynophilia based disgust reaction. She's a pickme trying to throw Transfem femboys under the bus.

If you want transfems to feel safe around femboys then stop attacking everyone who doesn't. Work on your own problems. Neither of you were responsible for burning this bridge but it's selfish of you to put it on her to fix it. Your going to have to put an effort into stopping those fires from being started. Do not blame her for being burned.

[tocomplainfriend]

I am mad

Yup!

Bro shut up, she is white - being Latina is not a race, is an not the same as color skin. And she is a second generation immigrant too. So like... this isn't like a Salvadorian person doing a cartoon, is a daughter of Salvadorians... That grew in the USA. Being Latino doesn't mean you aren't white, you can be any race and Latino. Still wouldn't make up for the lack of representation or the existing racism. In the piece of media that's "diverse".

Salvadorian is not a race, LMAO. That's crazy- you think someone from Argentina who is white, is not white cause of their nationality??? Being Latino and having that culture does not equal a race. It's in itself a racist thing. This Latino = Race is terrible, It also comes from the idea of the "You are not Latino because you are not brown", assuming all people from Latino America are brown by default. You know how much has that happen to me? -AND MANY OTHER PEOPLE.

(I'm Latino btw)

I already have an older post about it, but - you can really see the lack of diversity in the show a lot. (Will talk about it even more other day).

Again the main thing you get is MEN, hypersexual skinny queer men (cis). You won't get to see female characters being well written, thought all the season 1 and all the episodes we got rn of season 2. All characters are skinny and similar body types and repetitive design choices. Funny enough, shows that lack of human characters still have better race-coding that helluva. (and well in hazbin you'll get POC characters that are gray, lack all ethic features... even when they are humanoid. So that is great.)

Bro you could, you imagine a character being black and having different textured hair, and you go to hell... AND EVEN THO YOU ARE HUMANOID- your hair became straight and spiky, and you are now a light gray? If you build a world like that... it just seems like the perfect racist excuse to delete ethic features out a POC character because you don't want to draw them. "Not going to a single hint of their race/culture unless it revolves on their death"... If the character became a fucking coin with dot eyes, maybe (not really, shows with no human/humanoid characters still are capable to race-code their characters). But all of these characters are humanoid- why do none of them have their different characteristics? Also, this is about a real person in the real world choosing how to design a character.

This tweet also implies that a black character when they were a life they had ethic features, but lose them when they go to hell. Which is even more fucking stupid.

If a white person with straight hair goes to hell, and their hair remains straight (assuming it has nothing to do with their death), why wouldn't there be black people with textured hair? This is dumb. This goes back to the fucking thing of "No black people in fantasy media", In the same way, it's stupid for fantasy stories to revolve around white people characteristics in fictional species and people in that world- not including all the rest of diverse human characteristics POC people have it's crazy. The biggest problem here is why the fuck all Viv's sinners characters (main characters designed by her) that are supposed to black (or mixed like Alastor) have 0 characteristic. THEY ARE HUMANOID, THEY AREN'T EVEN ABSTRACT OR AN ANIMAL OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. She didn't want to draw that nor change designs, and wanted to justify the whole concept of Alastor even using Voodou.

HOW ARE ALL THE ANGELS THAT VIV WANTS TO BE BLACK (black voice actors specified, or are race specified) HAVE NOTHING??? LIKE HELLO THE 'I'm such a nice angel character girl' HAS SPIKY STRAIGHT HAIR??? SHE IS AN ANGEL AND BLACK, WHY DIDN'T YOU DID HER HAIR TO BE CLOUDS- It's THE EASIEST SHIT YOU COULD’VE DONE.

BOOM! A FUCKING TROLL FROM A KIDS MOVIE WITH DIFFERENT HAIR. BOOM! THE FUNK TROLLS ARE SO EXPLICITLY BLACK CODED.

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Bro, you know this whole thing of people with textured hair have to forcefully straighten their hair or wear wogs to a job... because people consider it ""Unprofessional"" cause racism? The erasure and discrimination of POC people and their features is a problem. That's why it is important to people represent all of those things:

(Marvel's Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur)

The only reason of why Alas tor is even mixed is purely cause Viv used the Voodou symbols because she thought they were creepy and edgy. It's sucks that all the angels and sinners that are supposed to be black have nothing.

[frostheaving]

so my wife, a trans woman, is constantly reblogging things that are, on their face, uplifting to trans women and I love that for her. she should! it makes her feel seen and nice!

but jesus christ just scrolling through her recent reblogs...plenty of uplifting posts for trans women are great, but, I am beginning to be able to see the wording of some of them and immediately grok on to the fact that the person who posted it has shitty opinions about trans men and trans mascs, and when I check their blogs I am ALWAYS correct. that gut feeling is ALWAYS right.

just now I saw something she reblogged yesterday and on its face? wonderful message if you don't think about it too deeply. but the message was, paraphrased, 'if your community can't make trans women feel safe then you are a part of the problem' and sure, sounds legit! until you think about what community that is supposed to mean. even though it is vague, your options are limited. do we mean 'the queer community'? sure, I guess there are a lot of cis people in the queer community who are straight up TERFs. or do we mean 'the trans community'? because if that's what is meant, uhhhh....suddenly we are veering off into trans radfem territory where we consider trans men and mascs to be oppressors crowding trans women out of the community maliciously at worst, and at best, we don't consider trans men to be really trans OR we assume they contribute so little to the community that their presence is scaring away trans women.

sure enough, I click this blog and look at their most recent/frequent tags in their search bar and the second thing it suggests to me is a tag called 'tme ppl' and it is chock full of classic trans radfem shit about how trans men hold systemic power over trans women and oppress them intentionally for personal gain. I stopped reading after a few particularly vitriolic posts, and didn't look at any of her other tags, but I would not be surprised to find posts or tags peppered with the word theyfab if I'd looked for longer.

to be clear, this is not a complaint about my wife or her tastes or even her personal politics, because she is absolutely in trans men's corner. she shouldn't HAVE to click every single trans woman or femme's blog and scroll through their most used tags to make sure that she's not reblogging from someone who literally thinks that her husband is a piece of shit for willingly giving up what this random blogger would kill to have (cis womanhood) before reblogging an innocuous looking post. that's a lot of extra work and I don't even want to bother her about it! which is why I'm complaining here rather than bothering her about it, because she should get to have nice things! but christ does it ever suck to scroll through her recent reblogs and see things that ping my 'trans radfem alert' system, and then have that confirmed because she doesn't know to look for these specific hints that the person she is reblogging from sucks because she has never personally had to think about any of this.

and as I type this, I feel like shit because I AM going to have to talk to her about it, because I know she would absolutely hate it if I didn't say something. she doesn't want me to get upset looking at her blog, which means that we are going to have to sit down and have a discussion on how to spot these things so it doesn't keep happening, and tbh I hate this for her, because, again, on their face, these posts are uplifting for trans women! real innocuous shit! nice fluffy good feelings! and she should be able to reblog those things without having to play internet detective!