#but it gets funnier when you realize it would only be him that could understand the songs

[pine4pple-b0i]

rip leopold strauss you would have HATED rammstein

rip sean macguire you would have LOVED blaring rammstein at full volume just to piss strauss off

[yanmuffins]

waiter! waiter! more phineas and ferb reader pls!

I wonder how the batfam would react once they catch reader inventions on a random tuesday, like, "hm, what a nice day to look out on the window and HOLY SHIT WHY IS THERE A GIANT ROBOT SPITING FIRE WHILE RIDING A ROLLERCOASTER IN MY BACKYARD???"

the events that would follow this incident would be funny and exasperating, me thinks

also, wouldn't it be funnier if Perry the Platypus was part of the JL? and like, no one knows his identity but Superman, and neither of them are willing to talk about it-

I know it would be very unlikely, since everyone there would have enough neurons to recognize a platypus with and without a hat, but for the sake of shit and giggles, just think of how funny that would be

welp, I needed to get that outta ma chest, I hope I at least made you laugh a little, because seriously this is one of the best ideas I've seen in this tag and I can't stop thinking and giggling about it

Stay well!

context.

first: i was not expecting this concept to be so popular!! the responses i've gotten from everyone are so amazing!!  ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝) thank you for the ask, anon!! it always makes my day.

i am formally announcing that i will be turning phineas and ferb reader into a fic now. it's too good a concept to pass up. something more light-hearted to work between the other fics i'm writing.

batfamily finding out about reader's whacky inventions would be an event. it so wholeheartedly shatters the image they had of reader to the point they just have to sit with what the hell just happened for a while before they even consider what to do about you next. still so many things that don't make sense. their newest case is how the fuck did we go this long without finding out (Y/N) has been building mechas in our backyard and why are those things always gone when it's convenient.

then the realizations just start dropping on them like an anvil on a looney tunes character. and they kinda feel like shit, cause how did they not notice? really puts into perspective how they've neglected you all this time. so many stunts you pulled right under their nose, on their backyard, their garage, throughout gotham and metropolis. ok, were out there being creative and amazing and you sure know how to spend the wayne family money, they'll give you that, but it was so irresponsible of you! who knows what could've gone wrong. you're not like them! you're a civilian with no training, the only regular teenager in the family, you're the last person who should be exposing themselves doing all that.

bruce goes off on you, screaming about how could you be so reckless, you did all of this behind his back– what? what do you mean he gave his permission? and he is floored, devastated, blood pressure up, when you remind him of every instance you dropped by his office with a document for him to sign or to ask for permission, with proof as you pull out every paper he put his signature without a second look.

and that, ladies and gentlemen, is when reader's dynamic with the batfam does a complete 180 and their little yandere antennae start going off. no more whacky cartoonish shenanigans. at least not without proper supervision. they know you're not a fan of this new arrangement, but you gotta understand they let you go unchecked for way too long! they'll drown you in family activities so you don't even have to worry about it. who wants to build a teleportation machine, anyway? just join them for family movie night.

as for perry, that is going to take them a while longer to figure out. bruce just can't stand another insane discovery, so when batman sees an intelligent platypus wearing a fedora and walking on two feet on justice league headquarters (if we're going by the idea that he's a part of JL), he's just going to think "my kid has a pet platypus. huh."

oh, consider:

dick: "damian, you knew all this time?! our sibling could've gotten into serious trouble! why didn't you tell us about this?"

damian: stares into the camera like he's in the office.

[thoughtsonkm]

Goodbye, for now

BABY? HONEY? BOYFRIEND SHOT? Jikook you're too much!

This episode was truly the best way to end the show, maybe even the best episode of the series. (Neck in neck with episode 2 of course) The way they enjoyed it so much but were also so sad it was over. The hot tension all around, the soft boyfriends mood who can't stop flirting and name calling each other with the most low-key couple-like sweet names. They could not stop laughing, they could not stop touching and they couldn't stop being hilarious without even trying.

~

SK Spotify daily chart end of November 2023 :

Jimin Jungkook Jimin Jungkook Jimin Jimin

~

It would be such a full circle moment if Jimin posted the boyfriend photo (which won't happen). Would almost be like a soft launch of some sort.

Not the underwear too?? Gosh I love my little gay freaks!! (didn't understand why Jimin would quote their 'yet another inner joke meme' right at that moment but I've learned to not question their inner workings)

~

Sorry but i have to be pretty one last time and say that I kinda had enough of seeing so much from the crew around or even in Jikook's shots and angles. It breaks the fourth wall a little too much and ruins the whole bubble idea. Ok I'm done lol

~

Returning to the issue at hand, the "seeing the beds for the first time" scene keeps getting funnier and funnier. As if they don't already have designated sides of the bed 😏

~

Ah the never ending bickering gives me life. Peep the half korean half english talk when they playfully get on each others nerves 👀😂

I better not speak on the scuzzi jacuzzi shenanigans cause otherwise.. Let's just say the photo speaks for itself..

NO YOU KNOW WHAT IMMA SPEAK. We all know that jacuzzi time is always intimate, relaxing and personal for people that's why I wish Jikook had enjoyed it fully without cameras. Yes I'm pissed on their behalf, that they had to film the whole thing with 382929 different angles. lol

His face is literally saying "oh so you're really gonna make me do it huh? if I was in your place I would've folded immediately and would've never let you go through with it!!" 😂

~

No one ever:

Jikook every 2sec : HONEY OH HONEY

(I was actually listening to the song while writing this and idk why it's so funny to me even tho it's a sad love ballad)

~

They must've loved getting the chance to at least see one episode of the show, plus the idea of watching it together..

Jungkook being so entertained by it meanwhile Jimin being mortified about half of the things that happened. HILARIOUS

HAHAHHAHAHA all parties were concerned if they'd be able to pull it off, I can't

BEST BELIEVE they're always gonna find a way to touch. Consciously or unconsciously.

~

This show made me realize that my favourite thing ever is Jk making food for Jimin, then making him hysterically laugh and therefore getting to hear Jimin's adorable giggles.

~

"Hello it is I the one and only, the only one who can touch Jimin's head ble ble ble ble" - JK

Jk was like: How can you imagine Jimin without me in your dream? Are you crazy? What is this delusional dream world you live in Jin hyung??

~

Tbh it's so meaningful and a huge thing saying that these trips were literally the best trips of your life. I think the statement almost went over people's heads.

I can't get enough of Jimin looking pretty and cuddly and Jungkook's immediate thought being: I HAVE TO FILM YOU

Them saying they can do a reboot when they come back gave me some hope that maybe just maybe this is not the end of AYS 😭

The ending bonus clip left me fulfilled but also sad and with goosebumps all over.

Thank you Jimin & Jungkook for letting us peek into this trip and getting to witness some of your precious moments.

Signing off, J&J 🥹

Ps. So I'm guessing the 52 minute video that comes with the photobook is probably the 3 bts videos combined that they've been reviewing for 48392 months right?

[the-moon-files]

Hi! I'm kinda new here but I was hoping to leave a request or at least something to chew on. So there's this genshin sagau where the reader has a bit of a language barrier with the other characters and I was wondering if that translated over to the Linked Universe as well? Like imagine the boys finding this random person with different clothes, accessories, and they talk in a language never before heard of? What are they, some kind of eldritch being? Meanwhile reader recognizes them obviously but frustratingly can't express any feelings asides from base concepts! Man.

Some funnies include; reader voicing more thoughts out loud now that no one can really understand them and reader eventually learning the language and getting a really sick accent out of it.

That's all my tired brain can think of atm so I bid you adieu. Have a good rest of your day :)

First Official Request!! :D oh and its amazinggg, ooOOO a language barrier AU, genshin? hm wonder who wrote that

Reader wasn’t specified and ive adopted masc!reader as the normal over here, so masc reader it is 👍

Sun: Masc/Male Reader (”you”/he/him)

Orbit: EXTRA LONG Headcanons-ish/scenarios SORRY 😭, Language Barrier AU my beloved

Stars: The Classic Chain of Links <3

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, typical mild loz violence, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

so for the sake of even funnier confusion, lets say the boys kinda missed u falling thru a portal, and instead just see the portal, and it disappears w/nothing coming out

(bc u obv are a competent person and clearly recognize the giant horse head stable from Breath of the Wild and went inside, like to orient urself, u will NOT be a Y/N damsel in distress 💀)

the boys had already been heading to that stable to sleep for the night, and needless to say, u nearly have a fit LMAO

first, the Hero of Time walks in, then the Link from Hyrule Warriors, then from Link’s Awakening? Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom Link?? Wind Waker Link, Four Sword Link??? The original Legend of Zelda Link-!!!!

well at least u arent the only weirdly dressed person there

(well, u arent weird looking for the hylians in the stable, theyre used to this weird shit, but the Chain of heroes on the other hand…)

they get to observing their bunkmates for the night, subtly squinting at you, then turning to talk to each other, and slowly every link gets made aware of ur prescense, u didnt think u stood out that bad..

(”くいんね しら んらな すいそらきみについ ちみん らは かくちか まいていりすん はすらも んらなす いすち・”) *

it also quickly becomes obvious to every traveler in the stable that you either cant speak, or wont speak, as when ur exchanging money for rupees at the front desk, the owner is accommodating with you by pointing and grunting and ur just nodding and pointing back

well, its not like when u first greeted the guy u understood even a single thing the guy said, it sounded like some sub-dialect of Japanese or something

u had realized earlier with horror that the game was staying true to its creators, and that most likely everyone spoke a special version of Japanese and ur English ass was abt to be so lonely and confused 😭

Wars/Time/Sky/Four in particular clearly noticed u exchanging all ur currency, as u can see them whispering or glancing at you occasionally as u pocket ur now little green gems the size of coins, rather than strip of paper

(”しにし くい まなとかるるる みらか くちひい すなせいいと・ てくら しらいとみゃか くちひい すなせいいと・ かくちか くちとみゃか すいちりりん そくちみきいし らひいす かくい いすちとね くちと にか てにりし・”)

and the boys move on in the morning, and its acc torture for u bc u had no idea how to even begin to quell their suspicions enough to let you travel along with them

u think u could say u came out a portal, but.. how would tell them that? drawing pictures in the dirt?? 💀

and this just keeps happening.

even when u just try to admire from a distance or even outright just leave them to it and go off to explore Hyrule (as safe as u could after acquiring a weapon and some more clothes)

but its like fate (or maybe Hylia tbh) wants u to run into these legendary heroes (both kinda in ur world and definitely here) constantly

after the stable u manage to run into them in Kakariko Village, which wasnt crazy bc u needed more supplies, and it was the nearest town to the stable

ur sure they noticed, but u outright avoided them out of paranoia or making them paranoid u were following them, and u definitely saw who you thought was the hero of the Four Sword whisper about u as u walked by, not that u caught much

(”るるるかくちかゃと かくい とちもい とかすちみきいほりららのにみき きなん はすらも かくい とかちこりいる てい とくらなりし のいいせ ちみ いんい らみ くにもる”)

but you’d started to recognize some Japanese words! …and tbh anime is the only reason for that, something definitely like “watch, him” 💀

which rlly didnt make u feel any better, and u avoided them even harder, u bought a map, so u made sure to head in the opposite direction of them out of, lets be honest, kinda lowkey fear of what theyd do if they thought u were stalking them

but despite u trying to actively go away from them, either you, or them, would show up everywhere the other went,

you passed by Wind playing in the water in Zora’s Domain,

Twilight riding Epona around the plains in Central Hyrule, Sky hanging laundry outside Wild’s house in Hateno

Honest-to-fucking-god seeing Wars, Wild, and Legend all crossdress to sneak into Gerudo village- u cant fucking escape them-

and the worst part is, you cant understand anyone, other than some basic words atp 😭

its as the Chain come from a path that merges onto yours on the way to Rito Village when Legend snaps first

You’re not even surprised, tbh it was more surprising it took them so long 💀

(”にかゃと んらな!! ちきちにみ!!! てくん ちすぃ んらな はらりりらてにみき なと・ くらて ちすぃ んらな はらりりらてにみき なと・・ くらて ちすぃ てぃ はらりりらてにみき んらな・・!!”)

the look on ur face must have drawn some pity from Twilight bc he’s trying to talk Legend out of his yelling and pointing his sword at you,

(”ひいか そちりも しらてみ! りにのい んらな とちにしね に かくにみの ていゃひい ちりとら とらもいくらて こいいみ はらりりらてにみき かくいも からら!”)

Wars joins in, giving you a confused look, before talking to the group at large, most of which have their hands near their weapons, but dont look that inclined to use them, thank the fucking gods or whoever rules over Hyrule-

(”かくい すちみそくいす くちと ち せらにみかね かくにと すいいのと らは もちきにそ ちみし にゃも となすい にかゃと くんりにちゃと しらにみきる てい とくらなりし まなとか かすん から かちりの から かくいもね といい には かくいんゃすい いさせいすにいみそにみき ちみんかくにみき とかすちみきいる”)

oh no. they want to talk you, you barely picked out in their argument

Time nods in agreement, before stepping forward to talk first, you cant even imagine how anxious u look rn lol

(”かくい らかくいすと ちすい すにきくかね かくにと にと りらみき らひいすしないる もん みちもい にと かにもいね ちみし かくいとい ちすい もん かすちひいりにみき そらもせちみにらみとね ちと にゃも となすい んらなゃひい きちかくいすいし はすらも なと すなみみにみき にみから いちそく らかくいす とら もなそくる てくちかゃと んらなす みちもい・”)

why has Hylia forsaken you. what did you do to not receive some sort of fancy natural translator power in ur brain or something after getting portaled here, its the least she could do for fucks sake- talking to someone in a diff. language is SO much harder than just listening to them to understand what theyre saying-

you desperately try to recall the words people have said at stables and whatnot when introducing themselves, before they realized you couldnt speak the same language

(”Uh… もん みちもい にと… and I’m not following you…とらすすん”)

you just try to say ur name and then say sorry LMAO 😭

Nearly every Link is staring at you bug-eyed in shock, confusion, and understanding all at once

the Chain’s attitude changes pretty quick after that, and they quickly connect the dots after, yes, u do a drawing of a portal in the dirt 💀

u gather from the few words u can get that it was indeed magic (probably Hylia) that kept shortcutting you and the group of heroes together over and over again

…

she can move your position in space time and yet she cant get u an auto-translator after being forced to be here.

(in the middle of u drawing to communicate Hyrule manages to understand the gist of what you meant by that and laughs)

the Chain are quick to be very accomdating, Wars/Sky/Wild all offering to try and better teach u their language, but in return they want to learn yours?

actually, that was smth u noticed pretty early on in the ensuing weeks of travel, was the fascination they had w/English and ur voice??

Wind constantly rambled at you and poked and smiled at you to try and get you to ramble back, and after getting more comfortable around them,

u start to talk like they cant understand a word ur saying, which is entirely accurate, and you notice some like to lean in when you talk, or respond with humming/saying smth like u can understand, or even just gesture for u to keep going

Four/Time/Legend?? surprisingly/Hyrule/Twilight like when u get rlly talkative like ur having a one-sided convo w/them all the time, and they constantly are looking at you poinetedly to hear u narrate whatever ur doing or give a response whenever they same something at you (Rulie/Four/Twi/ and sometimes Time, (and he turns away but Legend too) give a little smile whenever you ramble)

Wild is Very Interested in your langauage, bc the Zora, Rito, Gerudo, and Gorons all had their native tongue that he ended up learning, and so he constantly makes notes to try and decipher some of what ur saying in English

he lights up anytime ur able to successfully tell him another something abt it, like the alphabet, or grammar or structure etc

they seem to pay attention esp in the mornings or late at night? ur not sure why until Wind both draw pictures and tries to get the general idea to you to explain

(”かくいんゃすい ちりり きちんる んらなす ちそそいみか にと くらか ちみし んらなす ひらにそい にと しいいせる かくいんゃすい ていちのる”)

smth abt ur voice being nice? deep? but theirs do that too? u dont get it, but thank him anyway

they also help u out at markets, keep out of trouble w/locals, and other misc tasks that need some language help

everythings going great, the Chain trusts you, ur getting better at their language every day, and bc English is one of the hardest languages to learn in the world, theyre slowly getting some of urs!

it isnt until ur camping out in the Temple of Time when things get weird again

Not only is there English carved into the walls, which u read as the Chain give u “explain now” looks and u communicate that the rlly ancient looking script they may or may not be able to read is, in fact, the written version of ur language-

but then another portal opens, and there’s sentences wrapped around the edges, which are fully in English too.

☆

* = hint: JIS

So i love ciphers for language barrier AUs, so have a cypher! have fun decoding it if u like, but don’t worry abt translating it, as its purposefully not important for u to enjoy this :)

JFC IM SO SORRY AB THE LENGTH I WROTE THIS FROM MIDNIGHT TO LIKE 1:30 AM- UGH sometimes this happens when i get on a scenario kick, SORRY 😭😭

also so sorry abt late reply! at least i already established im slow w/u guys so ig its not a huge surprise 😭

tysm for the request it was such a fun idea to write abt :D

i also like genshin, just a little bit u could say, so it was cool to see this carryover across fandoms lol

language barrier is so versatile, could be angst, crack, etc. so that makes sense

have a great weekend!!

Peace out,

🌙

[ginnysgraffiti]

my thoughts about lee's sense of smell, 18+

&. LEE x yn.

okay but am i the only one who thinks that lee's nose would actually be extremely sensitive?

of course he's an eater and he has an excellent talent for smelling people who are just like him.

the more experienced he is, the longer the distance from which he can smell.

however, since the moment you two have been together and nights spent in his pickup have been commonplace, you surprisingly realized that lee had a wonderful way to be aware of your neediness, of your soaked panties, of your arousal, anything.

his nose was completely magic, but it was not just smelling. because let's say it, he has the typical habit of sitting on your lap when you're all comfortable on your passenger seat, snuggling up against your soft body and smell you until your normal skin fragrance is completely stuck in his nostrils.

you thought it was one of his eater-things, but he actually seems to adore doing it.

anyway, just the moment you get into the pickup is absolutely enough for him to perceive, or rather, smell, your need for him.

you wouldn't actually need to do anything. you could just naturally lay at the back of his pick-up, on the arranged mattress, that his nose was already between your legs, teasing your clothed core through your panties.

he's always so adorable like that. his face squished between your thighs, panting as spit pools in his mouth, nose cutely twitching at the scent of your arousal. taking the fabric of your panties between his teeth, dragging it down with a simple move.

every time he eats you out he comes undone like a puppy, your hot juices and his saliva staining his cheeks, his nose, dribbling down his chin.

but it's not always like that, because he often says he's also able to understand when you're about to come just by your smell. you wonder if he's an unclassified type of wolf or something, but lee always reminds you that his nostrils just memorized the exact smell of your juices and your core.

you have to say, that's absolutely arousing.

obviously, when you're too busy to give him attention he'll just shuffle over onto your lap and just start rubbing up against you. he would start smelling, tasting the waters and wonder if you're not busy enough to take it further, because he has ridden out the best orgasms anyway; creaming in his black boxers as some of it runs down your thigh. he likes to do it when you're working or when you're on a call. he says it's funnier to watch you squirm desperately and bit your lip to not scream his name.

sometimes, you would simply wake up at night because of the wet sheets, finding lee grinding up against you, moaning and whimpering. a sleepy, needy mess on your knee.

you actually discovered that he's completely down for your smell. but like...completely.

lee usually steals your underwear (maybe when you're not with him, you thought) and hides his face inside, moving his hips against the blankets at a messy pace. you still don't know if he ever dared to wear some of them, but anyway, now you know why he's so damn able to recognise your cum.

you never thought about it in any creepy way, because you actually love the way he keeps smelling you and memorising every scent of yours.

[mysticofspades]

Top 10 Moments in the Life Series

Okay, so like, a month ago or something, Jimmy asked his viewers to compile together a list of their top ten moments from the life series, and I put together my potential list right then and there when the video came out. Then I forgot about it for the entirety of a month and now here we are. (ADHD sucks sometimes TT). Since he’s already put out his reaction vid, I didn’t feel like putting together an entire video but still wanted to ramble some so~

10. Desert Duo on a Camel Together in a Red Desert

Frankly, this made the list exclusively because of biases. The significance of these two men wandering around a RED DESERT – red as in; covered in blood – on the back of some rideable minecraft animal is probably lost on any new viewer. Not to mention the Cactus Monopoly scene, with Scar giving Grian the monopoly over it while saying; “I know how you love monopolies.” That entire interaction pretty much ruined me. I haven’t not thought about it in weeks. I need help.

9. The AH-HA Bit

I don’t know if I need to say anything more about this. If the previous was iconic for its dramatics, this is iconic for the opposite. It’s just a bunch of men having fun together, laughing and making stupid little puns about a made up British tradition. The fact that Impulse, a very american american, was somehow bound up in this group made it ten times funnier. No notes, this bit speaks for itself. Insert funny AH-HA pun here.

8. Etho’s Fishing Rod Kill on Scar

Already one of my favorite seasons for a variety of reasons, Last Life didn’t need this scene to make it my all time favorite season or anything. But damn, am I glad it happened. The precision and calculations on Etho’s part is just– damn! That entire situation, no matter how it played out, Etho would be on the winning side. Like, it was either Scar dies and Etho gets a boogie kill or just not. Even if Etho didn’t get his kill there, Bdubs woulda still gotten a life and Etho could still kill anyone else. Either way, Bdubs would’ve gotten his life and Etho would’ve gotten his buddy back. It’s all just beautifully and meticulously planned out that I can’t help but plop into this spot.

(Yes, I recognise that it might not have been planned to that extent on Etho’s part, or IRL Etho’s part, at least. I am choosing to believe that ch!Etho totally did weigh out all his options and came to the conclusion that this was the best course of action and was confident he could get the kill and even knew that Scar would have the Enchanter on him. He just comes off as that type of character to me, is all.)

7. Scott’s Sacrifice for Pearl in DL

You cannot tell me that this is not one of the most iconic moments of the life series, ever. Scott standing over that pile of TNT, lighter in hand while Pearl, bathed in red and a bloody ax clenched tightly in her fists, watches, wide-eyed and hysteric, trying to desperately ask what’s going on or to understand or to just do something, unable to in the end as Scott takes his own life crowning her victor over the bloodbath that she had never thought would end like this.

And that fucking line?! “Tilly death do us part?!” What the hell, Scott?!

In conclusion, your honor, Tilly is still alive somewhere in the DL world and someone should rescue her.

6. Grain’s Stalactite kill on BigB / Ren

Alright, this is pure luck and I am so fucking here for it. It’s simply beautiful. The unplanned accuracy of a man on a bloodlust ending up only getting a kill on his chosen soulmate is poetic as shit (shit that just so happens to be really poetic, that is).

It’s kinda like the reverse or inverse of the Etho fishing rod kill. Grian’s pure luck and also not is what makes this scene so fucking memorable.

Not to mention both Grian and Scar’s reactions. Grian was over the moon, screaming and celebrating and being ecstatic until he realizes just what he’s done. And his little “except when I got married,” is all pure chaos and we live for that here.

Then there’s Scar, ever the opportunist, immediately starts looting the corpses. Silently. He picks up anything he deems valuable (which could mean useless lint and string, but whatever) and tries to bealine it out of there the second he’s done. I love Scar, honestly.

5. Scar’s SL Win!

This specific season holds a special place in my heart for being the only season I watched and stayed tuned in for the entirety of its run. So when Scar, the one I’ve been rooting for since 3L, happens to win, you can imagine my excitement.

It was so out of left field, too. Like, in the final battle, I knew for a fact something was going to take out Scott and Pearl, them being winners already and this spoken rule of no double winners and all. But between Scar and Gem? I’m sorry, Scar, but I definitely didn’t see it coming. Gem was on a mad one, killing or getting someone else to kill more than half the server and already being stacked on kills. It just fits, ya know?

Like, Martyn, Grain and Pearl all were crazy about killing their entire season, even on green they were kinda unhinged, ya know? (couch couch Scarlet Pearl cough cough). And it's not like Scott didn’t have a body count.

To be fair though, it’s not like Scar didn’t get any kills either, it was just more…. Discrete? Unintentional. His kill on Bdubs and his accidental shot on Gem were both not of his own volition.

The idea that what it took for Scar to win was to completely give up on making friends is poetic as shit.

First season, he had an ally, a friend, a comrade, one whom he betrayed then gave his life for.

Next season, he tried and tried and tried again to make friends, almost as if chasing that same high he got with his first partner, but never managing to make any meaningful connections, and ended up shot in the back.

Then, he’s reunited with his partner of old and they get off to a good start, being the last greens and all. But as if with all things, it came down as Scar, accidentally, took their first two lives and his soulmate took the other.

Afterwards, he returns to his family, hoping to find peace and connections there. He finds it with his mother and brother and, sort of, with his estranged father. He leads a Scar-typical season of blowing things up (attempting to, at least), stabbing people in the back and swindling (only a little). It all comes to a head as his once-soulmate, once-partner-in-crime stabs him in the back, literally.

Finally, we have this season. Scar starts out looking for friends, he very much does. But the universe itself has other ideas. Bad task after bad task, Scar is left almost entirely isolated from the rest of the server. The backstabber of a soulmate offers him a home but he cannot take it (as per rules he made up about his task). Then, somehow, somewhere, he sees those words, “She’s dead, Scar, you won.”

It’s all just beautiful honestly.

4. “It was just a prank, Scar!”

The beginning of it all. This little prank led to so much that it deserves to be in the top5 of every list out there, in my opinion anyway. Like, Grian randomly happening across a creeper out in broad daylight then proceeding to choose to lead it all the way into a group of distracted people in the name of a prank which leads into a season-long, dramatic, all-defying alliance of which leads to a climactic battle surrounded by the disheveled and war torn lands they once ruled over together (we’ll get to this in a minute, don’t worry), chants of the ghosts of the lives they ended to get to where they are, screaming in their ears to fight and to kill and having to brutally take the last life of the person he’d once vowed his own to Al because of what? A prank?! Seriously?!– is that not the best shit you’ve heard all day? Or all week? Hell, maybe your entire fucking life???

I sure think so.

3. Liz’s Final Death in SL

I realize that this is my only Tim related moment on the list and it was Tim who had asked for the list in the first place, but whatever. There are plenty of cool ass (and miserably funny) Tim moments out there (ones I might plop into the honorary mentions bit) but this is honestly my favorite and the one I think makes the cut compared to the others on here.

Anyhow. Onto Liz taking Tim’s place as first out.

I watched Liz’s POV late, can’t remember if it was because she uploaded late or someone else uploaded and I forgot to get back to it afterward– I dunno. I saw hers late and thus already knew she was going to die first, so, unfortunately, I didn’t get to live it through her eyes first, quite sad I know. Point is, I fucking. Nearly. Cried.

Like, not only was Liz’s whole arc in the season quite sad already, with the whole, “I wish everyone were here,” and her attempt at cheering herself up ending up so horribly, I knew beforehand that something awful was going to have to happen to sum up all her season-long misery. Dying in the midst of an attack, her only proper attack really, with an ender-pearl sitting untouched in her hotbar, was not the way I thought that would happen.

And something I didn't expect even more?? Her dying first??? Yeah, no, it was definitely not on my SL Bingo Card, that’s for sure. It was just so out of nowhere and yet, it also wasn’t? How do I explain? Like, Liz’s whole season was going from one misfortune to another, bad decision to another and it just kept piling on, until, well– you know.

Tim’s seasons are usually like that, no? Bad decisions followed by the universe itself hating on him followed by pure bad luck. Pretty much any Timmy Life Series season honestly.

I don’t think I’m doing this scene– this event justice. Timmy went out first every season for 4 seasons in a row. then Lizzie waltzes on in for the second time, suffers a bunch in her episodes, tries to kill Scott (a well-known no-no if you want to live) and then dies. First.

Beautiful and iconic; that’s LDShadowLady for you.

(I realize I should probably talk about Tim some more, given that this is the only Jim-related moment on here, but eh. This segment is too long already. I’ll talk about some other Jim moments later.)

2. Scar’s Water Bucket Clutch

This moment proved to me that putting Grian and Scar together in a life series makes a seriously underrated but totally fairly rated duo. Like, in one season they managed to keep a whole ass, proper, monopoly going for at least, like, 2(?) whole sessions, Grain managed that stalactite kill I talked about already and then Scar does this shit??

I just– there’s a reason these guys got so fucking close to winning and never teamed up, volentairily, ever again. Had they teamed up again, and wanted to actively work together and actually win this shit, they totally could. There is a fucking reason both of them are individually winners now and I’m so shitting here for it.

Onto more specific things; Scar is a mad man and I love him for it. He saw Etho burning a couple of pandas (I apologize; a couple of jellies) and was just, “screw you Giran, those pandas need me,” and he went.

Grian’s reaction going from severely panicked to immeasurable pride is just beautiful (lots of things are beautiful, shut up).

When I tell you I replayed this shit non-stop until all the dopamine this scene could provide my ADHDed brain could be sucked up dry until it was drier than the driest of dry prunes you’ve ever seen on a hot ass summer afternoon, I mean it with every ounce of my being.

With that said; second place it shall be forevermore~

1. Cactus Ring

I mentioned this earlier and I don’t think anyone is necessarily surprised judging by all my other picks thus far, yeah?

Everyone’s heard of the beginning of the end. Well this feels a lot like the opposite of that. The end of the beginning, ya know? Third life’s the beginning, where everything began, where everything and everyone got established (well mostly everyone) and it’s where everything started. The cactus ring, to me, marks the end of the beginning. As if to say, “the beginning is over. We all know what we’re doing from now on, the trials are over and the bloodlusts and betrayals have already begun, let them continue (forevermore~).”

It’s a red mark (of blood) in the sand from where they began to where they’ll continue to go. It's the end of an era, the beginning of another, the continuation of a story left unfinished. It’s everything and nothing and I’m making no sense–

My point in all this is that this moment is iconic and deserves top 2, at minimum, on any and all lists of this kind. I accept none otherwise (not really :P).

…I feel like I spoilt myself a little my gushing about these guys earlier and now I don’t really have all that much to say–

Honorary Mentions!

1 - Tim’s final LimL death.

What the hell, dude? Talk all that crap to what? Trip off your own fucking Bad Boys Bread Brige™? Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.

Joel and Grain’s, and even Pearl’s, reactions were awesome btw!

2 - Grain and Scar’s Sing-Along!

It’s a desert duo moment, I don’t know what you want from me.

3 - Tim Killing Liz in SL

If I’m not mistaken, this is, like, Tim’s only kill that season and it being completely accidental and the fact that he feels horrible for it makes this moment comedy gold.

4 - Grain’s Triple Kill in 3L

This set the stage for many, many kills to come, and the excessive use of TNT minecarts can also be pinned back here, which is awesome of course.

5 - Etho’s Washed Up?!

This was originally on the list but because of (Scar-related) changes, it no longer is. It's awesome though so I put it down here. I fucking love this shit, dude. Cleo and Budubs’ back and forth and Etho just like, “I knew it guys, I really am washed up,” is just great.

6 - Mumbo’s Death in the Nether in SL

Mumbo is awesome and kinda not all there sometimes. This just so happens to be a moment of the latter, is all. Love him.

7 - Joel and Liz’s Romance in SL

I love these two interacting just casually. They’re super sweet and I just– I love seeing couples just doing normal things, like playing a game they both like together and just having fun, ya know? Whether that be with a little flirting or not, it’s fun to watch.

Alternatively; the Joel and Liz are trying to flirt in LL with Scar awkwardly there in the background.

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: July 2024

I read a lot more than I was expecting this month but I ain't complaining. Here's how I spent the month of July!

……….FILM……….

Evil Dead II (1987) Didn't love Evil Dead (not that it's not good, I just get too spooked by straight horror) but had no idea that this would be what it is. Puppets and stop motion! Looney Tune antics! Magic with rules! This is my kinda movie and I'm baffled the modern films in the franchise don't try for this sort of energy.

Poor Things (2003) It took a while for me to settle into this, but around the time Dafoe's Godwin explains Bella's condition, I was all in. It's a dreamlike movie with dreamlike logic so despite some of the discourse I tried not to take too much of it literally. Beautiful and far funnier than I expected.

……….TELEVISION……….

Columbo (Episode 1.04 to 1.07) Gosh I love the era of television where each episode was self-contained. Episode 7 features Columbo smoking in a doctor's office and I was not at all expecting him to comment on the dangers of tobacco, but he did! I notice this first season only had a handful of episodes with the classic "oh one more thing" schtick so I'm curious if that pops up more in later seasons.

Scavenger's Reign (Episode 1.01 to 1.12) This is a show where I sit down, turn it on, and while the beautiful opening credits play, think, "I wonder what horrifying imagery is gonna f*** me up this episode?" The animation and design are sooooooo good that it made up for the occasionally baffling writing. Please go watch it so a second season can get greenlit.

Bridgerton (Episode 3.05 to 3.08) I missed a few eps there in the middle but it all worked. That final party, and all that went with it (the speech, the bugs, the reveal of who paid for it) was 10/10. Good stuff.

……….YOUTUBE……….

Yoko and The Beatles by Lindsay Ellis Yoko Ono didn't break up the Beatles. And while this video essay expands on the factors that DID split up the band, it's also a really great dive into the weight of fame and the weight of fame on women. VIDEO

Was starting a product business a mistake? by Simone Giertz An honest and detailed insight into the dream vs. reality of small business and internet fame. Looks like it's going to be a full series and I'm looking forward to more. VIDEO

……….READING……….

N or M by Agatha Christie (Complete) Spy Thriller set during the Second World War? With a husband/wife spy duo? Oh heck yeah. Sometimes I find the clues to be a little convoluted/unnecessarily obscure but this one struck a great balance of visible but easily forgettable.

The Knight of the Swords by Michael Moorcock (Complete) Having first read the comic adaptation (penciled by Mike Mignola!) I now realize some of my issues (pacing, understanding the abstract) work better in novel form. An elevated pulp adventure that has some great ironic twists.

Sherlock Holmes vs. Dracula or The Adventure of the Sanguinary Count by Loren D. Estleman (Complete) Thrift find purchased based on the premise alone. Exactly what you'd expect but not much beyond that. It's at its best when you get Dracula directly interacting with Holmes and/or Watson.

Spider-Verse by Dan Slott, Christos N. Gage, Mike Costa, Dennis Hopeless, and many many more (Complete) Really enjoyed reading this but am baffled by its production. Why the issues aren't collected in chronological order, I'll never know. I know the book is over ten years old now but the writing (especially all of the Spider-Women) really stands out as...not great. All but the Superior Spider-Man essentially sound the same (perhaps the point?) but Gwen and Jess and Cindy mostly talk about things like body image and pheromones and it's glaring. I'm curious what I'll think upon a second readthrough (reading in order, and after the first wave of nostalgia has completely rinsed off) but I definitely think this story walked so the movies could break the speed of sound.

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Beats Up the Marvel Universe! by Ryan North and Erica Henderson (Complete) North's writing and Henderson's artwork are the perfect blend for such a bright and enthusiastic character. Unbeatable Squirrel Girl is such a great series (which I gotta go back and finish) and this is an equally great introduction to the character.

Superior Foes of Spider-Man Vol 1 by by Nick Spencer, Marcos Martin, and Steve Leiber (Complete) I was really excited for this series (the premise! the cover art!) but the pacing, humour, and art just didn't connect. Honestly really bummed that I didn't like this more.

……….AUDIO……….

3D6 Down the Line (Podcast) A nice change of pace from the modern D&D games I play in. They use Old School Essentials for their system (more akin to 2nd Edition D&D) and play with a mindset similar to the 70s style of play (treasure for experience, everything is lethal). I'm still having trouble distinguishing some of the voices from each other, but it's a great listen.

……….GAMING……….

Oz: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) Tuesday crew watched a peaceful inauguration and gained notoriety for saving a neighbourhood from roaming monsters (you can read all about it here!) and the Mof1 crew is dabbling in dangerous contracts with dangerous people (all for a cap that controls the winged monkeys).

And that's it. See you in August!

[huggybug]

good luck charm - luca fantilli

word count: 2.2k words

Your phone buzzed on the table, stealing your focus away from your professor’s lecture on flow state. Looking down, you see Luca’s name pop up and you sigh, pulling up the conversation on your laptop.

You’re coming tonight, right???

They were playing Ohio State tonight in the first round of playoffs and Luca had been bugging you all week about it. However, as the end of the school year was approaching, your assignments and tests seemed to start loading up and it was heavily cutting into your social life, something that your best friend was not happy about.

Not sure, have a paper due on Sunday :(

His response came back almost immediately.

Pleaseeee

You had a hard time saying no to Luca, he could almost always get you to agree to whatever it is he wanted and that truly went both ways. You liked his message and knew he’d understand.

Leaving your lecture hall an hour later, you see Luca standing alone across from the building, clutching something tightly in his hands. He’s searching the crowd of people that had formed from classes being let out and when he spots you, his entire body relaxes as you make your way over to him.

Before you can get a word out, he’s shoving the balled up sweater into your hands. “Wear my jersey tonight”

“What?” You ask, hesitantly taking his jersey from him.

“It’s playoffs, Y/n. I need you to wear my jersey” You weren’t going to pretend that you understood him. Hockey players were weird with their rituals and superstitions, you weren’t sure you even wanted to know the reasoning behind this one.

“You gonna score if I wear it?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’ll try” Luca smiled brightly. You both knew there was no way you’d say no so you folded the jersey up and held it against your chest.

“Good luck tonight Lu” You grin, waving the jersey at him as you walk away, making sure he knows you’ll be wearing it.

…

“You’re wearing that jersey this entire run, baby!” Luca was running off the adrenaline rush after the game as were the rest of the boys that had finally made it to Skeeps. The first win of playoffs felt even better since it was against Ohio State so the boys knew a night a Skeeps was needed.

“It’s the only reason you won, huh?” You grinned. Luca’s goal was, in all honesty, meaningless. It padded the team’s lead and you didn’t want to discredit it or him but it made it even funnier how serious he was taking the jersey you had worn.

“Of course, you’re my good luck charm” He winked. “Drinks on me tonight”

“Aren’t they every night?” You tease, grinning at him as you snag his drink from his hand and take a sip.

You spent the entire night with Luca, sitting at the tables listening to the boys talk about the game and watching some of the guys strike out with girls on the dance floor down below.

Nights at Skeeps seemed to last forever but every time without fail, Luca walked you home. Sometimes it would be him and Adam or him and Johnny, you never knew if someone else would be tagging along but without fail, Luca was there. He wouldn’t even think about not taking you home, it was practically apart of his routine now.

“You ready to go?” Luca came back from the bar, coming up to stand behind you at the table where you were talking to some of the sophomores. You spin around to face him, not realizing he had his hands on either side on you on the table, bracketing you in.

“Get a room!” Hoots and hollers from the boys around you didn’t stop even when Luca flipped them off behind your back.

“Adam coming with?” You ask. You hadn’t seen his brother in a while but you assumed he was still here.

“He’s with Seamus somewhere” Luca shrugged, “We can go now though” It seemed like he wanted to leave so you nodded, grabbing your stuff and saying goodbye to the guys.

Luca guided you out of Skeeps and you held his hand until you got outside, dropping his hand as you walked beside him on the sidewalk heading back to the dorms.

“So… Minnesota next weekend” It was going to be a tough game, especially since it wasn’t at Yost.

“Yup” Luca paused, “You’re gonna come right?”

“I don’t know… I’ve got exams and stuff” You wished you could go but you had an exam the following week so you weren’t exactly sure that a weekend trip would be the best option.

“Oh…” Luca trailed off and he sounded so sad, you had to look over at him.

“I would if I could Luca, you know that”

“Yeah, I just… wish you could come” You put your arm around his waist in attempt of a makeshift hug and his arm naturally dropped around your shoulders.

“I’ll be cheering you on from here, I promise”

…

The day of the Big10 Finals, you were sitting in your dorm while opening snaps from the boys who were all in Minnesota. They had left a couple days early and you’ve been kept up to date with everything going on thanks to Luca’s constant snaps each day.

Adam and Rutger have both texted you, complaining about how much Luca has mentioned you and it made you second guess missing the game. You looked over at Luca’s jersey that was flung over your desk chair and made a quick decision that you were getting to that game.

You found a flight that left in a couple hours and booked it immediately. Grabbing some essentials and shoving them in a bag along with the jersey, you were out the door and on your way to the airport in less than 30 minutes.

…

The game was close, you were on the edge of your seat the entire third period but in the end, they did it. You jumped up when the buzzer went off and screamed with the rest of the Michigan fans in the building.

Once the crowd had thinned out, you headed down closer to the ice; you spotted Luca’s parents and made your way over to them.

You’ve met his parents a few times from when they’ve come to games so you made small talk as you watched the other boys take turns to skate around with the trophy. When it was finally Luca’s turn, he came right near where he had already spotted his dad and then he saw you, sandwiched in between his parents, cheering just as loud as the other guys’ families and girlfriends.

Luca’s smile grew even wider when he saw that you were wearing the jersey he gave you last weekend. He stuck his tongue out at you, still balancing the trophy over his head which made you laugh as you mirrored him. It felt like time had stood still for a moment before he skated away and handed the trophy off to Adam.

You caught his gaze a few more times while they were on the ice. He still couldn’t believe you were actually here and in between hugs from Duker and Moyle, he kept finding himself looking for you.

“I’m glad you were able to make it sweetie! I think Luca was pretty upset you wouldn’t be here” You smiled at his mom as you walked together down to the locker rooms where the families were instructed to wait for the boys.

“I’m just glad he was busy all day so I couldn’t ruin the surprise” You we’re terrible at keeping secrets, especially when it came to Luca which was a well-known fact among your friends.

“Well just know that we’re both grateful you’re there to look out for both our boys but especially Luca, he’s lucky to have you” You chuckled at her first comment; Adam probably looked out for you and his brother more than anything but you didn’t say anything. You were too stuck on the last thing she said.

You were thinking about what she meant by it when the room suddenly erupted and you turned to see a bunch of the boys coming out to see their families who had made the trip to the game. You saw Adam but no Luca.

“So are you gonna talk to him?” He had made a beeline for you as soon as he came out of the locker room, barely stopping to hug his parents before pulling you aside.

“Who? Luca? About what?” You looked up at him, very confused.

“You know…”

“Adam” You groaned, becoming frustrated. “What are you talking about?”

“Your feelings! You should tell Luca tonight” Adam exclaimed, acting like it was the most obvious thing on this planet. Which apparently according to everyone other than you and Luca, it was.

“My feelings?”

“You’re telling me you would’ve flown out here if I had asked? Or Shea… or any of the guys for that matter” You hesitated at that. Adam was your friend but he had a point, you wouldn’t have considered coming here if it weren’t for Luca. Up until now, you hadn’t even thought of it. Luca was your best friend. Nothing more and nothing less.

“You know it’s not like that…”

“I think it is though” Adam huffed, “I know my brother, Y/n. He’s different when he’s around you, believe me” You take a minute to think on that before your attention is once again taken elsewhere.

“There he is!” You heard their parents talking and turned around to see Luca had finally made it out of the locker room. He hugged his parents before you saw him looking around, searching for you.

“Y/n” Luca called you and Adam sent you a knowing look before letting you go, walking back to distract his parents from his older brother to allow you to have the conversation he’s decided has to be had.

“You came” Luca mumbled as he hugged you tightly. You let your body relax into his, suddenly feeling emotional and you’re not sure what about whether it was how proud you were of him and the team or the two weird conversations you’ve just had with two people that know Luca better than anyone.

“Of course I did, it’s you” You pull back a little to look at him only to find him already smiling down at you.

“Thank you” He whispers and suddenly the air feels thick around you.

“Good job today, Lu. I’m super proud” You do a little fist pump at the end and it’s so stupid it makes you both laugh.

“Couldn’t have done it without you” He finally stepped away, awkwardly running his hands through his hair.

“Really?” You hummed.

“You’re my good luck charm Y/n/n, I’ve told you” He tugged at the jersey you were still wearing and it made you smile.

“Hey… can we talk for a minute?” You bite the inside of your cheek which of course he notices. Luca nods, pulling you out of the room and down the hallway where nobody would interrupt.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing just… your mom and Adam both said something and-”

“Oh my gosh” Luca’s cheeks turned pink as he ran his hand over his face, “I’m gonna kill them”

“Just listen for a minute?” You reached out for his hand, squeezing it to refocus. “I hadn’t even thought about this until today and Adam brought it up because you’re my best friend and I love our friendship and I wouldn’t ever want to ruin it but I think this could-” You were rambling but didn’t know how to stop, the nerves had suddenly gotten to you.

“Hey- nothing is going to ruin our friendship” He knew what you were talking about, he’s been at the brunt of Adam’s talk a few too many times. Ever since you became best friends, Adam hasn’t been able to drop the idea and after a month of denying it, Luca had taken the time to think about what his younger brother was saying and realized he was right, not that he’d ever tell him that.

“I like you Luca” You take a deep breath before looking up to meet his gaze. “I really do but I don’t want to lose you so if you don’t feel the same way-” Luca cut you off by leaning in and kissing you. You melt into the kiss, pulling him even closer if that’s possible.

“I like you too if that wasn’t obvious” Luka chuckled as he broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours.

“Hey lovebirds, we gotta go” Adam suddenly appeared at the end of the hallway, smirking like the little shit he is.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” You asked, stepping away but keeping his hand in yours. Their flight home wasn’t until the morning while yours was tonight.

“Yeah, see you at home” Luca grinned, kissing you one more time before following Adam, trying his best to ignore his brother’s incessant teasing.

[miss-tc-nova]

Head Bonk Headcanons - TWST

More Nova weirdness. This is how Luxu wakes me up and it's just kind of been adopted as general affection around my house. And I think it'd be funny for some TWST boys to suffer the same affection.

Gif by Keithweikel here

TWST Boys being subjected to affectionate head bonks

~~~~~

Riddle

Riddle finds the head bonks annoying…at first

He’ll yell at you to stop and try to put space between you if he had the feeling you might bonk him

It’s a fruitless endeavor

Inevitably, he’s reduced to grumbling acceptance as he acknowledges he wastes more time avoiding them than just letting it happen

Besides, knowing what they mean to you does bring him secret smiles he’ll never willingly show

Ace

Very confused and very loud complaining

Dodges at first, quite smug about making it a challenge

Even now, he’ll turn it into a game, which has led to a few bumps and bruises

But when he’s chilling and not being a smart-ass, he’s fine with it all

Deuce

Extra confused until it’s explained that it’s just an affectionate habit

Then he’s happy to accept and return the gesture

He may misjudge the force the first few times. Congrats on the bruises

Happy to be considered a friend

Cater

Finds it cute

Has definitely recorded the interaction for magicam

Tried to get #headbonk trending

May insist you do it again so he can record it but it’s funnier if you don’t

Trey

Beyond confused but there’s no harm in just letting it happen

Gives a nervous laugh at first each time

But eventually just accepts that this is a thing

No muss no fuss

Leona

Grumbles and growls the first few times

But actually really likes it due to the social behavior among lions

Especially since no one else would dare cowards

Will also tease you about it

Ruggie

Heck yeah! Enjoys the interaction

He was wary at first, wondering what it was you wanted to butter him up for

But began to really enjoy it when he realized there were no ulterior motives

May also use it as a tool when he wants something from you

Jack

Hates it. No, he doesn’t

Grumbles even as his tail wags

Also makes himself more accessible by sitting or leaning down when he expects it

Still denies he enjoys it saying it’s easier to get it over with than let you continue to pester him

Azul

Thoroughly baffled. Could not understand

Was worried that this was a crucial land dweller ritual he missed

Causing internal panic after realizing no one had graced him with a head bonk before

Until he realizes that it’s just a you thing

Tries to maintain composure as he graciously accepts each one

Also uses it when he wants something from Ramshackle

Jade

Pleasantly surprised

Also graciously accepts the gesture

Will also situate himself to accommodate the head bonk

Unless he’s been scorned, then good luck

Floyd

No longer allowed to receive head bonks

Severely misunderstood the gesture and intent

Thought it was funny and went around giving people headaches

Can only get a head bonk when he’s not expecting it for fear of trying to return the gesture

Probably don’t need anymore concussions

He’s sad about it

Kalim

Confused but happy

May adopt the behavior at least for a little while (annoying Jamil)

Always smiles when it happens

Jamil

Learns faster than Riddle that it’s just easier to endure the bonk than waste time resisting

Sighs and rolls his eyes at first

But learns to enjoy the behavior

However, he WILL use it as a bargaining chip

Such as only letting you bonk him if you promise to settle down if you’ve been annoying

Vil

No. Not having it. It’s childish and silly

But Rook and Epel always seem happy about it

Oh very well. He gives

And is surprised at the pleasant friendliness. It helps that you’re not actually rough or malicious about it

Comes to genuinely enjoy the silliness

Rook

Could not be more indulgent

Thrilled to receive each one

Will also monologue about how beautiful and unique your demonstration of friendship is

May also kneel to accept his bonks

Epel

He’s on board

Gives a cute laugh every time it happens

Is much more casual about it than Rook

But still happy

Idia

WTF! What is happening?!

Is confused and tense and nervous every time it happens

Might even run away

Until Cater sends him a cat video—about cats headbutting for affection

He’s still very nervous, but actually begins to make himself available for head bonks

Fails miserably not to blush

Ortho

Initially confused but comes around really quickly

Happy to consider it a gesture between friends, and have a friend, and for his brother to have a friend

Also likely to initiate and/or end most conversations with you with a head bonk

Malleus

Baffled. Does not understand this Child of Man’s behavior

Goes searching through the library to try to understand but obviously finds nothing

Is very happy when it’s explained as a form of you-specific affection

Will also make himself available for bonks as if this is a common human ritual

BUT watch out for those horns. This makes bonks to the top of the head pretty much off limits

You made that mistake once

This also upsets Sebek, of course

Sebek

Is not happy for you to bonk Malleus

Isn’t even happy for you to bonk him. At first

Refuses to let it happen even if he secretly likes it

Will scold you when you manage to sneak up on him for bonks

Despite the blush on his face

Silver

Huh, okay

Is not bothered at all

Finds it cute

Is very gentle when he bonks back. Especially when he’s sleepy

Lilia

My, you are a silly human, aren’t you

Treats it as a game, teasing you about not being able to catch him

But always indulges you in the end

Grim

Best head bonk buddy

Doesn’t understand why it makes him happy, but it does

~~~~~

Nova’s Twisted Wonderland Masterlist

[beauleifu]

WHAT IF,,, a sequel to the Mac ask where he sees reader laughing with MK/Swk? He’s out patrolling and being dramatic and he sees reader at a café with MK/SWK, and you’re laughing at one of his stories… just for that extra bit of spice,,, (I’m leaning towards it being MK because i think thatd be funnier)

Ahaaaa i KNEW someone would ask, and I'm happy to deliver! Hope you enjoy!

I'm still considering this a Macaque x reader 'cause in the end, he still loves you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MACAQUE X READER PT 2

Lego Monkie Kid

Context: He's been living fine on his own for quite some time now. Used to the loneliness that at first was a dagger to his heart, Macaque finally accepted that you're not coming back to him. He has to let you go. Even if it means seeing you with someone else with a smile you never gave him.

CW: Language, aftermath of a breakup I suppose

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Macaque wears a sharp grimace, but only because he'd kicked a stone a bit too hard.

He travels solo along a long, thin wall that stretches from palace to palace, tightly fisted paws in his pockets, brows furrowed in thought. The stone had fallen off the wall now, so there's nothing to kick further along.

Nothing to distract himself from his thoughts.

He thought for sure that it would be easy to get over you. To forget everything you both ever did together.

What even was there?

Macaque frowns deeply, realizing that the memories weren't great.

You both hardly ever did anything worthy of memories. Macaque was always worked up over Sun Wukong and conjuring up ways to defeat his nemesis.

Over and over, he repeats your last conversation in his head.

"Goodbye . . . forever."

So that's it.

You're gone, but it still breaks his heart to realize how much he misses you. Your smile. You rarely smiled, and he was a fool to never appreciate it up until now. In a fit of frustration and self-loathing, Macaque kicked the next stone up ahead so hard it catapulted into the nearest house, leaving a gaping hole in it's wake. Quietly, the shadow lord vacates the premises before anyone can point fingers.

He's done with blame. He's done with conflict.

Landing gracefully on the ground in a dark alleyway, Macaque puts up a dashing smile.

"Oh, sweet (Y/N)," he tries, facing the wall with his hands on his hips.

The wall gazes blankly in return.

Macaque bites his lip rather hard. "I know you hate me, I know you'll never want me back, but perhaps we can still be friends? Is there any way I can . . . no, wait. That's sounds too desperate."

Oh, if walls could talk.

The shadow lord grumbles under his breath, frustrated.

Running a paw through his hair and tugging at the strands, he changes tactics. "(Y/N)! Good to see you! Anyways, about that break-up. I understand if you never want to see me again. You're incredibly strong for putting up with my bullshit, but . . . uh. . . . M-Maybe we can still be friends?"

No reply.

The wall probably wishes to deliver a sharp smack to the monkey's face.

Miserably, he leans against the wall and gazes dully at the sky.

What's wrong with him?

When you were his, all he could think about was someone else. Now, you belong with someone else, and you're all-consuming in his mind.

"Dude, you're gonna get a brain-freeze."

Ha.

He can practically hear your sweet, melodic voice.

"Whaddya mean, you're not bothered?? I saw the look on your face! It's cold!"

Hmm.

Macaque lazily cracks open one eye to the sidewalk the alleyway opens up into. Call him crazy, but your voice sounds like it isn't in his head anymore. It sounds like you're right next to him. Right outside, in fact.

Your face suddenly manifests in the distance.

The shadow lord's heart

stops.

There you are.

There you are.

You're walking along the sidewalk with someone else, in an oversized hoodie and pants to accommodate for the cold weather. With sparkling eyes and a fond smile on your face, you lean against your significant other and lick at an ice-cream cone.

The breath promptly abandons Macaque. You're here.

He almost fails to conceal himself in the shadows when you glance curiously down the alleyway.

Then you vanish, and Macaque propels himself into the sky, landing on the rooftop of a house and crawling to the edge to peer down into the town.

You're here!

Mind running wild, Macaque tries to compose himself. Breathe.

Taking deep, controlled breaths, the shadow lord watches you with someone else, with . . . with the Monkie Kid.

The two of you had gotten ice-cream together.

Rage boils in Macaque's gut, and he bares his teeth at the boy, claws digging into the roof plates. How dare you associate with someone so lowly . . . a friend of Sun Wukong . . .

But then he sees your smile.

Your beautiful smile. He doesn't recognize it.

It's not one you've ever given him. You've never smiled at him with such ease, such affection and love.

Something squeezes his heart. Macaque watches you and MK head into the café nearby, arms linked, with eyes only for each other. You're currently laughing at one of his epic tales, no doubt exaggerated to the limit.

Macaque listens to your voice in wonder, grip loosening on the roof.

Seeing you so happy, even if it's with someone else.

He could never bring you that kind of serenity.

Tail twitching, Macaque narrows his eyes, trying to spot you within the café. You're seated at one of the duo tables in the corner, MK going to buy the both of you a drink.

His vision blurs.

What . . .

It's not anger that he feels, not anymore. As Macaque raises a paw to brush underneath his eyes, he's surprised at what he finds.

His paw is wet with tears.

"What is this," Macaque hisses to himself.

Teeth gritted to help support his crumbling wall, Macaque stares at his paw with wide, disbelieving eyes. He's crying??

He feels remorse, of course. Regret, pain, guilt.

However, these tears are not because he wants back what he'd lost. Perhaps, deep within the recess of his mind, he does long for you. But the tears leaking from his eyes are due to the bittersweet warmth in his chest. His wall is finally down.

He's . . .

Happy for you. Incredibly so.

He doesn't want to be, considering you're with someone he obviously detests, but he can't help it. Knowing that you're with someone who can take care of you the way he never could, love you the way he never did, fills him with relief. So much so that he's fucking crying.

"Damnit," Macaque grunts, turning away from the scene.

He'll leave you be.

No more stalking, no more trying to get you back. To ruin the peace you'd just managed to find feels awfully wrong.

So Macaque slowly slips off into the shadows.

The grip around his chest finally loosens, as though this realization is a weight off his shoulders. Although he wears a bittersweet frown, his footsteps are light.

You'll smile for someone else from now on, and he's all right with that. Perhaps, months from now, he'll cross paths from you once again, and he won't beg for you back. No, he'll congratulate you on how far you've come. Something he's likely only willing to do in his head.

Surviving him was the greatest thing you've ever done.

Macaque could never hate such a warrior.

[conkreetmonkey]

Wile E. Coyote doesn't understand that his best shot at catching the Road Runner would be to totally phone it in and build the laziest, most basic trap imaginable, doing so with an eye-roll and a resigned groan.

In this scenario, you see, it would be significantly funnier for the Road Runner to legitimately be captured than for Wile E's lazy-ass trap to fail. He and the Road Runner follow standard Looney Tunes rules, meaning they only succeed when it's funny, and only fail when it's funnier. The funniest outcome, in their world, is the most likely.

Now, Wile E, in his pompous self-assuredness, has doomed himself to failure from the start by building huge contraptions and hatching elaborate schemes in the first place. It's funner to watch a complex plan fall flat due to some huge oversight or twist of fate than to see it go perfectly. It would lack a punchline if everything went perfectly, and their world demands punchlines. He can never win because he expects to. He can never win because he believes he's an infallible genius. All he does is tempt fate in a world where the fates are comedians. Wile E is his own worst enemy, and he doesn't even know it.

The only way Wile E can maybe win is to go with the flow of The Bit instead of struggling against it. Engineer a scenario where you winning would be funny. Of course, he's too up his own ass to see this, to see that in his world a sense of comedic timing is far, far more valuable than intellect.

And this, probably, is why we symphasize with him yet also love to see him fail. He's an aggressor. A needless asshole who thinks he's a god. There's no reason for him to keep going after the same bird but pride, and it's cathartic to watch overly prideful people fail.

The only way to get the bird is for him to stop wanting it so much. To stop expecting it. To give in, and accept that it's funny when he loses, and it's his own fault for trying to beat back the laws of comedy through brute force. He starts fights, in a world where fight-starters always lose their own fights.

But he'll never realize any of this, of course, because it's funnier if he, the self-described "genius," remains oblivious to it. That's the paradox. A true dullard could catch a roadrunner by standing over a pile of birdseed and waiting to grab it, or digging a hole in the sand more shallow than the bird is tall.

Wile E will always fail, for as long as watching self-obsessed, overly-confident aggressors eat dirt remains funny.

[appatary8523]

Dumb probably negative no context rambles under the cut

Last chance, don't ruin your mood and go back

OK you wanted it this way

1.- I like STW but I usually have to get up to do things while playing (yea sometimes in FN:BR I hide in bushes to go and do some other stuff. I've barely made any progress, the game is quite complicated to me because I don't play it often and I forget what was going on? And I don't know how to use most of the mechanics of the game(? Still, the humor is funny, the gameplay might feel repetitive from time to time but I like it, I really really like it.

I also would like to have more IRL friends who play STW (or FN in general), I bet that game mode is way funnier and rewarding in squad. But nobody plays it, and I think I have no friends who play FN? Just my older brother and he has his own duo so I'm not getting in between them (?) (and he doesn't like STW so he doesn't even have access to it). There's a dude at my workplace who plays FN but no thanks, I don't like him, he's stupid (he's the it guy who can't fix a damn thing. I hate that guy he's so stupid)

As always, I'm playing solo in this squad mode game called life (?

2.- I know I often say I'm doing it for me but, damn, I wish someone could like it the way I like it too. I'll see if it's worth the effort or if I should just finish the damn thing and save if for myself. I'm not hurt or anything alike, I was 1000% aware this was going to happen, and it's helping me improve. I think I just don't want to deal with that anymore. Sorry, I lose motivation quite often and easily

3.- I try to keep everything happy and positive in my FN blog but... I don't really like Hope. I mean she's cool and all that but I just don't like her e-girl thing going on. The only thing I like about her is the cat on her banner icon whatever the name of that thing is. Neither sunsp0t, actually y don't like a lot of things but I'll just save my awful FN opinions. I should've saved my headcanons too

4.- Surprise surprise (actually is no surprise) I'm losing followers. And I get it, I get you guys, I used to post funny things, funny drawings (or drawings in general) but now I just complain about everything. Sorry, I'm not in a good mood anymore.

I don't think people should keep following/stay suscribed to a channel, account, blog thing they dont like no more. I've seen artists (on Twitter of course) complaining about how people should not follow an account for X specific thing but I don't think that's how things work. Just like the things you like change, the things other like change too. They should NOT feel forced to like the things you like and see the things you want to share. But I guess you have to grow up to realize that. I personally don't feel offended when people stop following me, right now I'm offering nothing but negative text post, and that's OK. Curate the things you consume, make it a more pleasant experience, don't feel forced to follow someone you no longer like.

I personally follow people for a specific thing, and sometimes, like everyone, they change the things they make, but if I like their stuff I usually stick around because it's interesting! I just stop following if they change for worse (the same way I changed for worse). Still, not everyone thinks the same way I do.

5.- I still thinking I should just make another sideblog to dump all this dumb kind of posts but honestly I don't want to deal with it. Making an FN exclusive sideblog was already way too much, but I didn't want to mix all in here

6.- I guess that's what you get for interacting with people half your age.

7.- Shouldn't have joined, should've stayed away

8.- I wish we could talk, someday. I'd like to know you better. I know I don't exist for you but you mean so much for me (yea now I understand my taste for one-sided fictional relationships lol). I know, im stupid, I'm delusional, I'm, as always, daydreaming about things that will never ever happen and I will never have. I can't understand love, I can't wrap my head around the idea of being romantically involved with someone but that's OK, that kind of things are not meant for me

9.- I wish I could control whatevers going on in my mind. I wish it could slow the pace of my thoughts, I need some rest from the world but most important, I need a break from myself but I guess there's nothing I can do about it

10.- Also, Beatles song

11.- I fell asleep after posting this and I OBVIOUSLY had to edit it to add this because i DREAMED someone gave me some support words and it felt so nice and comforting jdjsjs I'm alone

12.- Morningssey song. Yes I like him too so sue me (?

[thechaoticfanartist]

Ooh for the ask game…Obi-Wan and Grim’s first meeting from Obi-Wan’s POV?

Send me "POV" and I'll write a scene from one of my fics/wips in another character's POV.

Please, I've always joked that their first interactions would be even funnier from Obi-Wan's perspective and you have proved me right.

Originally from Chapter 1 of TCWGANV.

Word Count: 939

The battle was going smoothly. Obi-Wan led the 212th against the droid army. Everything was normal - and then there was a shift in the Force. A powerful one. He could not place it - he had never felt anything like this before.

Then he noticed a young girl hiding behind a rock, but it wasn’t as much cover as she thought it was. He ran in front of her and deflected a droid’s blaster bolt. Then he turned around, she couldn’t be any older than fourteen. “Are you alright?” He asked her.

She blinked. “Holy shit. You’re fucking Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

He elected to ignore her profanity. She was in shock - clearly. How had she even ended up in the middle of this battle without anyone realizing? “Are you alright?” Obi-Wan asked again.

She blinked again. This time he could tell she was registering his question. “Yeah, thanks to you, you saved me, thanks,” she replied, clearly shaken.

“You should get to a safer area, it’s dangerous for you to be here,” he told her.

She nodded. “Okay, yeah, I’ll do that. Do you know where a safer area is?”

Obi-Wan gave her instructions on where she could go to avoid being in the middle of an active warzone. She nodded, and he hoped she was paying attention, her life might depend on it. Once she started to follow his directions he ran off back to the battle, hoping the child would be okay.

He had dropped his lightsaber. Before he could pick it up - the girl from before used the Force to do so. She ignited his weapon and ran in front of him before he was hit by a blaster bolt. Obi-Wan was taken completely by surprise.

She turned around and handed him back his lightsaber. “You dropped something,” she informed him, casually. He wondered if she had any idea of what she had done.

Now he was the one left in shock. It almost took him a moment to register what had happened. Although he didn’t let it show - he was the Jedi Master here after all. “Thank you,” he said, slightly embarrassed. Keeping a calm composure he then said: “Though I believed I told you to get someplace safe?”

She blinked. Clearly only now registering what she had done. “Right! I’ll, uh, I’ll go do that now.” With that she awkardly ran off.

How strange. He thought. He would have to talk to her after the battle about her clear ablity to use the Force. But first, of course, he had to win the battle.

When the battle finally came to an ending however, it was not Obi-Wan who found the girl, but rather she who had found him. She approached him, and he could tell she seemed a little nervous. “Hello, do you think you could help me?”

“What do you need help with?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Okay so, first let me introduce myself, I’m Grim Kennet, and I’m from another universe where all of this is fictional, anyways I’ve seen a lot of this universe and I don’t really like the ending. It’s super upsetting and a lot of people die, and I don’t want that to happen. And I think, because I’m from another universe and all, I can prevent that from ever happening, I mean it’s going to be hard, but I have to try! I can’t let people die if I can stop it! I know it’s crazy, and you probably don’t believe me, and I understand! But do you think maybe you can help me?”

He blinked. She was right, it was crazy. Another universe? Did that mean the multiverse existed? He had a hard time believing her, but he wasn’t going to outright tell Grim that. “Well, you seem like an ah…spirtited young person, and you’ve already demonstrated your….potentional today.” It was true, at least. He placed a hand on her shoulder. “I believe we’ll be seeing much more of each other in the future, but I also believe we’d better figure out where you’ll be staying before I can bring you to the Council. Shall we?”

She grinned ear to ear. “Alright!”

“What does your home look like, young one? Perhaps I can help you find it.”

She frowned. Oops. “You don’t believe me. How can I prove it? I’m being honest with you. How can I prove to you I’m from another universe and know about this one?”

She was certianly smart. He had an idea for her. “Perhaps inform me of something you wouldn’t be able to know otherwise.”

She smiled. “Alright.” She thought about it for a moment. “How long has the war been going on?” She asked. “Just so I don’t spoil the future.”

A smart idea. He was about to tell her when she answered the question for herself. “Know what never mind it’s still season one territory you’re wearing armor, possibly season two, but I feel like it’s season one.” He wanted to ask how she figured that out from his armor and what it implied but didn’t get the chance to. “Okay, something before The Clone Wars show…”

Show? This war was a TV show in her universe?

Grim continued to think for a moment before she settled on something. “This is something you said to Qui-Gon many years ago: ‘you were right Master, the negotiations were short,’ or is that not enough proof?”

Obi-Wan was left speechless. There was no way she could have known that. She was indeed telling the truth. “Alright,” he said at last. “You’ve made your point.”

This was perhaps the strangest day in his life.

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added or removed) : @padme--amygdala @soclonely @mrfandomwars @jgvfhl @starlonkedd @milfspectre1 @togrutanduin @jedi-valjean @one-real-imonkey @traygaming @aiylasdrawings @keoxus  @dykerebel @veiled-in-stars @sentineljedi @spicysucculentz @amelia-song-pond @it-was-rose @saturnsokas @thejediprincessqueenofnaboo @veradragonjedi @arrthurpendragon @shrinkthisviolet

[purpleandstarlight]

@hateweasel Another one!

-Me to my friend: Cameron and DaffyDuck should get together, at least then they'd stop annoying other people.

Me to my friend like 3 minutes later: ALOIS JUST READ MY MIND-

-End chapter 296: *totally wholesome cielois moment*

Dan, beginning of chapter 297: I bet they're fucking right now.

(DAN WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO UP IN THEIR BUSINESS?? GET A LIFE 😭

It was hilarious to me back then that he just randomly thought of this while trying to sleep but it's even funnier to me now when I remember that later on in the story Alois confirms to DaffyDuck that they were, indeed, fucking. Does Dan have a radar or smth???)

-Me: Sometimes the author reminds us that all of the 7 but Alois and Ciel are mortals and they can and will die at some point and Alois and Ciel will just have to move on without them. Wich...It makes me sad every time. I don't want these reminders-

-Me, talking about that one demon girl I could never stand (the one Audrey and then a train killed): So this demon tried to get with Ciel...wich- she obviously had no chance, because she wasn't blonde...

-Speaking of, remember when she tried to get with Ciel saying crap that sums up in "[Alois] is traumatized so he's obviously not someone you could/should love"? You probably don't, but I usually do. It always makes me extremely angry lmao

-Speaking of me being angry - remember those girls saying "Oh but boys can't be [I won't say it but you get it]"? I was also about to throw hands at that.

-So a chapter was named "La storia della demone famiglia" and I was confused for a second because I thought it was a bad Italian translation of the page (Sometimes Google translates sites randomly and you gotta set it back to the original lenguage manually) but then I saw only the chapter title wasn't in english and just moved on. I guess it was a more "ancient/classy" way of saying "of the demon family" that i dont know of ? Since the most usual way of saying it would normally be "della famiglia demone"

-Me at some point about Daniel (im genuinely using copy-paste on this): Can't believe I actually thought this man was straight

-I genuinely was really scared since Bailey said he wouldn't be working in the police anymore that the person in his place would be some corrupted jerk, but then I arrived a lot of chapters later to him saying the person taking his place was his son so I calmed down. Fact is - as someone who is a lot further than that now, I actually dont really like Bailery Junior? He's not corrupted, but I wasn't too fond of him and then I disliked how he treated Alois? Sorry he lost his hand though. Hope his father's not too angry at Alois. IS Gabriel angry at Alois?? Or does he understand the situation they were in?

-Fun fact: for a long time, I only called Integra "Hellsing" because I couldn't really remember her name? Then finally i realized it would be more comfortable to call her differently than the organization to my friend. So I just started...I think around when Ciel starts calling her that as well? Lol

-DLTD: Warwick Academy; Yes, I'm sure you're more than well aware by now about this fine school by now.

Me, literally at chapter 319: You don't say?

[mortemoppetere]

TIMING: 2017. FEATURING: flora cortez, juliana cortez, edgar cortez. LOCATION: emilio's living room in mexico. SUMMARY: in the months after flora is born, emilio struggles to be the father everyone thinks he should be. CONTENT WARNINGS: mentions of child abuse (in the form of hunter child rearing practices)

03 APRIL 2017.

The living room was dark but for the dim light of a candle flickering against the wall. A shadow stretched across the floor, bouncing as it walked the length of the floor in circles. In the shadows arms was a smaller shape, wriggling and fussy.

“Shh, shh,” Emilio soothed, bouncing the baby gently. “Flora, my love, you have to sleep. Your mother’s angry enough that you’ve decided on slayer over ranger, you know. If you keep her awake all night, she’s only going to take it out on me.”

The baby continued to fuss, quiet protests growing into louder cries until the silence was interrupted entirely. The bedroom door creaked open, and Emilio sighed.

“I know, I know,” he said as a new shadow joined the fray, turning to look at her. Juliana looked groggy, curly hair amess and one hand on her hip.

“It’s three in the morning, Milio.”

“I know that, Ana. Tried explaining it to her, but it turns out she doesn’t have a watch.”

“I’d say you’re funnier in the daylight, but we both know it isn’t true.” She crossed the space between them, gently pulling him down enough so that she could get a good look at the baby in his arms. “Well, she’s definitely a slayer,” she observed. “This is your fault, you know. You and your genetics. If she were a ranger, we’d both be asleep right now.”

“All newborns cry, darling. Even the ones that aren’t born with a decreased need for sleep.”

“Maybe so, but those ones tend to tire themselves out eventually. And I need a reason to blame you. I haven’t slept in months.”

“You fell asleep in the bath last night.”

“If you weren’t holding my child, Emilio Cortez, I would toss you out the window.”

He chuckled, pausing when he realized the fussing in his arms had stopped. He looked down to see Flora’s eyes growing heavy, her face slack. “Ah, so this is how we do it. Argue until she gets bored of listening.”

“Parenting is easier than your sister said it would be, if that’s the case.”

“Rosa does love to exaggerate.”

Juliana huffed a laugh, patting the side of his face. “I am going to bed. You, Mr. Slayer, can make sure she’s actually asleep this time.”

“Yeah, yeah. Take your victory lap.” Juliana disappeared back into the bedroom, and Emilio took a seat on the couch, the baby against his chest. Her breath tickled the skin of his throat, and he pressed a gentle kiss into her hair. “Try to make it a little longer this time, my love. Your mother will toss us both to the streets if you wake her before five.” He leaned his head back against the cushion, eyes slipping closed.

Of course, the baby was up again in an hour. He found he didn’t mind it as much as he probably should have.

15 SEPTEMBER 2017. 

“Mom didn’t mention she’d started walking.” 

Emilio glanced over to Edgar, strewn across the sofa with a glass of Juliana’s wine in his hand. He followed his brother’s gaze to where Flora waddled across the living room floor, unbalanced and uncertain, unsure where she was going but determined to get there.

“Hasn’t come up yet,” he replied, tapping a finger on the neck of his beer. He didn’t quite understand the nausea tugging at his gut, the uneasy feeling that accompanied the sudden turn in conversation. It was a natural progression of things. He knew that. Still, discomfort clung to him like a second skin.

“Really? I’m pretty sure she asked Rosa about Jaime every day. And Flora’s… a little later than he was. Isn’t she?” Emilio took a swig of his beer to hide his scowl, nostrils flaring with agitation. Even now, as a baby, Flora was being compared to her cousin the same way her father had once been compared to his siblings. And just like him, she was coming up short. “You know she’s going to want to start in on training soon. At least teach her how to hold a knife. She’ll be behind otherwise.”

“She can barely make it three steps without falling,” Emilio pointed out, and he knew it was the wrong thing to say. He knew that, even as his brother tensed, even as his eyes darted to the door as if someone was going to break it down, going to barge in and scold him just for thinking of questioning the way things went.

“We all started young. That’s why we’re still alive. You know how rare it is for a hunter to make it to thirty.”

Something acidic settled on his tongue. He took another gulp of beer to chase it away, but the taste remained. It felt like it had been there for months now, ever-present. “What do you know about any of it? You don’t have kids.” It might have been a low blow… or it might not have been. Truth be told, Emilio didn’t know if Edgar wanted children. It wasn’t the sort of thing the two of them spoke about, wasn’t really something that came up. 

He chanced a look over, trying to gauge the reaction, but Edgar had always been good at putting up a neutral front. Far better at it than Emilio, but that went without saying.

“Maybe not, but I’ve been in the game long enough. Jaime’s doing well. Flora’s going to need to learn how to watch his back, you know. They’re close in age. Going to be teaming up a lot. And right now, he’s ahead of her.”

“He’s two years older.”

“You think the undead give a shit?”

The conversation had shifted to something uncomfortable. It seemed to be doing that a lot lately. With Edgar, with his mother, with Rosa, even with Juliana a time or two. Everyone seemed to know what was best except for Emilio. And he couldn’t understand why that was. He couldn’t figure out what it had changed, or when it had changed, only that something had. Only that he didn’t know how to go back.

“Whatever,” he said, getting to his feet. “I’m getting another beer. You can’t have any more wine. Ana’s already going to be pissed I gave you two glasses. If she comes home to find the bottle empty, I’m going to have to move onto your couch.”

“No way you’re living on my couch. Go live in Rhett’s van. I’m sure he’ll pick you up the next time he comes around.”

“I’ll tell him to run you over on the way out of town. Bet he’d do it.”

“I’d make a handsome hood ornament.” 

“Doubtful.”

He ducked into the kitchen, leaning against the fridge for a moment. His heart was pounding in his chest as if he’d just finished some great battle, as if he’d taken on an army of the undead. And he couldn’t figure out when a conversation with his brother had started to feel like a battlefield. He couldn’t figure out when something that used to be safe started feeling like a threat.

Something tugged at his pant leg. He looked down to see Flora gripping him for balance, still looking determined as she moved. “Hi, love,” he said quietly, kneeling down. “Fun exploring?”

Her eyes sparkled as she looked at him, and she patted his face with a tiny hand. There were no callouses, no scars; the skin there was smooth and untouched in a way he couldn’t remember his ever having been. The idea that it wouldn’t stay that way, that he was going to have to make sure it didn’t stay that way…

He closed his eyes for a moment, swallowing down the bile that rose to his throat. You think the undead give a shit? Flora was a child, and he knew she wasn’t supposed to be. Just like he never had been, just like Edgar and Rosa weren’t. The Cortez family didn’t raise children, they fashioned weapons. 

But there was a tiny hand on his cheek, and it didn’t feel much like a blade.

Leaning forward, he pressed a quiet kiss to the curly mop of dark hair on her head. “Go both your uncle,” he told her softly. She waddled off obediently, and he stood. 

If his hand trembled a little when he took a beer from the fridge, there was no one there to see it.

[waterlogged-detective]

3- How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

17- Are they easily embarrassed?

32- Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? 

36- Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap? 

42- How badly do they want to reach their end goal? 

B- What inspired you to create them?

OC ask game

3. Ah so this is a *tricky* one. Technically Doe doesn’t really sleep, he just ceases to be for a period of time until existing again. Which is to say the suit falls onto the bed and deflates until an arbitrary amount of time later when he “wakes” back up. Sometimes he wakes up with memories that can be called dreams, and he will call them so, as there is no one to know the truth nor to argue with him. How could they? Beyond that however, he’ll often read at night, whatever he can get his hands on, he’s not picky (although he does like nonfiction the best).

17. To everyone’s horror, he absolutely 100% does not get embarrassed easily, often missing social cues. This leads him to saying the wrong thing at the right time, the right thing at the wrong time, and everything in between. He’ll say it all loudly to boot. It’s an issue that has made him consider purchasing a summer home in the Tomb Colonies as he’s there so often, and it really would make things so much easier.

32. Not really? Doe is...very bad at social cues and situations so he will just talk to you about whatever case he’s on, or something that has caught his interest recently, very rarely even the same thing one week to the next. He’s a bit of a scatterbrain besides so he’ll hop topic between sentences sometimes. Or even words. If you want him to stay on topic with you, the best bet is to invite an outside party to nudge him back on topic every now and again. Darcy is often a good choice for this (part of why they’re married) however, sometimes the doctor is less than helpful if he thinks allowing Jonathin to continue is funnier than the current conversation, egging him on to wilder and wilder topics until everyone is lost. Best to bring a friend, really.

36. Doe has a bad case of “I projected too hard and accidentally made him *really* into monsters”. Which uh...whoops. So he actively seeks out romantic adjacent dalliances with almost everything only vaguely human in shape that can hold a conversation over a game of chess and dinner. Or a rousing shouting match. He also can and will drop whatever his plans are if he notices what could be an “interesting” romance between others and if he can he’ll try to help the process in whatever way he can. It’s a bit bothersome.

42. Doe is obsessed with two things: Mysteries and killing the murderer of his former cat, Beatrice. The latter goal is currently the cause of knifegate (which he is *going* to see through to the end d_n it all) and the former is the reason I had to make a sideblog for seeking where it’s just an au of Doe, because unfortunately that’s the characters logical end point. Who knows, years down the line he might still get there on my main account. Hopefully not but you know how it is.

B. I decided, for my current foray into London, I wanted to make a character based upon whatever portrait I found most fun (the diving suit) as the last few times I tried the game (2015 and 2017 I believe) I didn’t quite understand how to play fl and kept getting stuck around the same place (didnt realize you needed to do all of the making your name storylines and didn’t understand why I couldn’t do anything and why my stats were so low) I thought making a character to actually RP the game as would help. I also just added a bunch of stuff that makes me giggle into the pot and now Doe exists. Fun fact though: early early on while playing I actually imagined him as a rubbery man inside of the suit until I realized having him be empty was funnier.