#but it feels wrong because she's not the protagonist? does that make sense?
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They all have the same dad :)
Light named siblings
#Alden I shall draw you one day. once I figure out a good design XD#Alden is my answer to all the stupid. negligent. or sometimes straight up abusive dads in fiction!#calling Alden Lucy's dad is a tiny tiny🤏 stretch but he views the kid as his own and she think that he is an ideal dad#anyway. he's pretty fleshed out in my head but I'm never gonna draw the story anyway TvT#not fully sold on the clothes' colors yet#lol changed their surname to Morgen just because I'm gonna give the name Morgan to someone else#Lucy has far too many clothes for a deuteragonist me thinks#i like it because it shows her wealth and it makes sense since she lives a double life#but it feels wrong because she's not the protagonist? does that make sense?#to be fair she was going to be the protag then I changed it to Ene becoming the protag because she just reacts to Ene's... everything
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SVSSS!Sibling Transmigration AU
Based so very loosely on this glorious art by @nibbelraz
Airplane transmigrates into the youngest infant son of the Shang family (and God damn he deserves better than this System he is their god!! Daddy Airplane?? Heard of him?? These people should not be changing his damn diaper hello??)
Shang Qinghua is already a young disciple when he visits home and meets his little brother for the first time and does no one else see there is something... off about this kid?
He makes regular trips home afterwards, eventually using An Ding logistics to find reasons to be near his hometown more frequently (and really does no one else see this kid is weird?)
Bby!Airplane is just too smart. SQH is convinced he saw the kid make eye contact with him once when he caught him stealing a dumpling behind their mother's back and it was like looking into the eyes of a demon who'd gut him if he snitched and not a human toddler
It doesn't get better as Airplane gets older and SQH hears him muttering about 1. things he shouldn't know at all regarding the sect when he thinks SQH isn't listening and 2. absolute nonsense (what System has done you so wrong didi?? you are four??)
Before Airplane is old enough to reasonably join the sect, SQH brings him back to the mountain anyway. He is fairly certain his brother is a seer and if that's the case, he's keeping the little welp close at hand
Airplane infinitely regrets how much bullshit he made An Ding deal with to ""hand wave lazy writing"" (shut up peerless cucumber!! he was writing porn not project management!!) but even just watching SQH run himself ragged over the peak has bby him exhausted (no wonder he ratted y'all out to the king yeesh)
He spends his early years as a disciple just following SQH and sometimes nudging his gege into record shattering discoveries because SQH will pat his head when he realizes and take him down the mountain for noodles afterwards (gg easy)
Airplane is a proper disciple in his own right in his teens when his notes and his story get jumbled in a way that has him tripping into one of his shixiongs when he hears the rumors - Head Disciple SJ returned to the mountain with a little brother (record screech glass shattering huh???)
Meanwhile, Shen Yuan transmigrated into Shen Jiu's unnamed younger half-brother After finding stability at the sect, Shen Jiu looks into his birth mother, knowing she sold him off when he was a child What he finds in Airplane's unwritten notes is a Fantine-Cosette backstory where his mother, a courtesan, gave him away to a good family after he was born. She sent them regular payments to ensure his care, but only found out when she was pregnant with SY that they had sold SJ off and were pocketing her money Unable to find SJ and unwilling to risk SY, she and the other courtesans raised SY within the brothel SY transmigrates into the body of a child at his sick mother's bedside with a twisted sense of deja vu having just vacated his own deathbed He doesn't know where he is, but if the orphan protagonist can make it to the sect, so can he right? (Transmigrator Halo? System? System why are you laughing??) He's barely into his second teens when SJ finds him. It takes no time at all after learning the truth for SJ to demand SY's guardianship and whisk him back to Qing Ding (See System? He DOES have a Transmigrator Halo, even if it is attached to the scum villain) SY is honestly shocked by how concerned(?) SJ is when packing his meager possessions. (No Jiu-ge (ew) no one has ever harmed him or touched him wtf would make you think they had?? He's baby??) It takes some time for glaciers to melt and for SJ to let SY in, but SY was raised around kind jiejies who taught him to be better than their worst clients and SJ feels safe around this little brat in a way he can't explain (SJ has had SY for five minutes but if anything happens to him SJ is taking out the entire mountain and then himself) YQY has NO idea how to react when SJ first returns with his brother, but he doesn't hesitate to smooth the way for SY's discipleship and watches from afar as SJ begins to finally let someone in, even if it's not him
SQH keeps telling Airplane he needs to work on his muttering to himself, that it's going to get him in trouble (bro you don't even know) but for once it's in his favor because SY overhears him just enough while YQY is sorting his shit out on arrival and suddenly they're just two spidermen pointing at each other on the peak
Cue the shenanigans of two hometown boys who have no bearing on the plot at all and are just along for the ride while their siblings handle the peaks. Anytime Qing Ding and An Ding need to work together on missions, these two volunteer and confuse the hell out of their martial siblings every step of the way
SJ does not trust the little logistics rat anywhere near his didi and glowers like an alley cat anytime Airplane is around (SQH is right, ofc. His brother IS weird and SJ does not trust it)
SQH meanwhile takes note of his weird didi's sudden and first friendship with SY and immediately starts keeping tabs on this kid because clearly Airplane's seerhood has steered him to SY for a reason, must keep note
The first time LQG makes any sort of fuss about SJ going to a brothel, SY forgets everything he's learned at the sect as Little Brother Mode™ activates to defend not only SJ but his jiejies too. (Fists are thrown. Hair is pulled. He might have bitten his shixiong, he can't say. He sort of blacked out for a minute there) Needless to say there isn't a second time and LQG has an hour long argument with his shizun about trying to poach SY for Bai Zhan peak while nursing a black eye (Airplane just side eying the GREMLIN that transmigrated here like bro wtf)
Before LBH even steps foot on the mountain, both their Systems ping about the incoming protagonist and it's not that they, you know, forgot about the story but they were distracted. Between finding each other and actually weirdly coming to care for these NPCs they... lost track of time
But the System pings and LBH enters the scene and SY refuses to let Airplane's work repeat itself (we're making your notes canon bro stfu and follow my lead. (what lead??? what plan??) I'm working on it!!)
It's a 50/50 crap shoot if SYs favoritism of bby!Binghe endears him to SJ or spikes up the resentment, but SY refuses to let harm come to LBH or for SJ to become the scum villain (someone is yelling, it might be SJ, it might be SY, it might be Binghe who doesn't want Shizun and Shixiong fighting over him)
On the other side of the plot, SQH is still a little snitch, even with his didi's visions guiding him to unprecedented success - but it's more than betraying the sect, more than wanting power and recognition. Seers are insanely powerful, highly sought after. Bringing Airplane to the sect protected him for awhile but SQH can't let him become a target. So when the OG meets MBJ, all his calculations come to a single unfortunate answer: throw your lot in with the biggest fish to protect Airplane (no one else can understand how weird his brother is because if they do his brother will end up dead)
Flash forward to when Airplane is squinting at his brother wearing fur collars year round, always running a little bit chilly for unknown reasons but refusing to see MQF about it. Airplane insists on SQH letting him check his meridians if he won't see MQF and SQH relents, puts his wrist in Airplane's hand, and squawks like a goddamn chicken when Airplane yanks his arm and tugs down his collar to reveal the mark of MBJ on his collarbone and SQH is once again met with that dead eyed 'bro do not fuck with me' stare
SQH does not question how Airplane knows, he just insists on Airplane staying far far away from MBJ (he might work for the demon, but he certainly does not trust him)
Of course Airplane defies all reason and knows the exact secret rendezvous point SQH uses (he did not suffer puberty twice to be denied seeing his most precious creation in the flesh, gege) and is spotted spying on the spy almost instantly by MBJ who is just holding him by his scruff and looking between a wide eyed Airplane and a barely-restrained-panicked peak lord like 'why oh why are there two of them'
Cue a full stand off between a demon and peak lord, ice knives at SQH's throat, a blade hovering at MBJ's heart, and Airplane just held like a kitten between them like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck that SOMEHOW ends with MBJ rationalizing 'ah this weird mouse is important to my viper of a spy - if I want to keep the viper loyal, I will protect this mouse'
Which throws the Sheng brothers into a mess that neither of them know how to deal with. SQH thinks he needs to continue to be excessively useful to keep Airplane safe. Airplane can't let MBJ know he's his brother's best source or the demon might cut out the middle man. (Meanwhile somewhere MBJ just out here planning to court this weird little mouse to tie SQH's loyalties to him)
Whatever circumstances causes the Abyss plotline to trigger, SY 500% throws himself in after Binghe leaving SJ partially feral because his didi is in danger, Airplane CONCERNED, and SQH just casually like 'oh that's why my brother was interested in him, interesting' not at all realizing no, SY is likely just about to become his boss(-brother-in-law)'s boss's consort - whoops! whoops! whoops!
#svsss#svsss sibling au#moshang#bingqiu#i saw the art of the shang brothers and my mind hasnt shut up about it#but I also dont have the will to do a fic rn#so here are my airplane rambling notes lmao
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So I love Dandadan actually because through those first seven episodes I couldn’t stop repeating to myself “Wow Momo is so fucking cool” like she’s such a genuine badass. My shounen senses were primed for her to just get saved over and over again, maybe just helping out every now and then but no SHE’S the one doing the majority of the saving. She and Okarun both feel like real people and they’re setting up a sweet and genuine romance that doesn’t feel creepy. The voice acting is also so good like she is SCREAMING out here.
Usually when an anime has two protagonists and one is a female she feels like a passive observer just getting swept along for the ride even when they’re supposed to be “tough” it fades away or they are made lesser to make the male lead look better. But Momo and Okarun actually work together!!! They both act like human people!!!! Including the ugly parts with Okarun’s avoidance tendencies and Momo regretting when she does lash out because she knows she’s in the wrong. And they talk about it after she does!! It comes with a healthy dose of “teenagers are kind of mean because they’re still maturing” which is normal and amazing to see.
This anime is healing something I didn’t even realize was broken when I found myself not having to cringe away from little moments that make me uncomfortable. There is a bit of fanservice going on (thanks grandma) and yes I get episode 1 starting off as a bit much for people but honestly, genuinely, did you think aliens WEREN’T going to try and probe someone in the Alien Ghosts Anime TM. Kidnapping humans and cows for experimentation is what they’re most famously known for. You are meant to be uncomfortable and weirded out by this episode. An episode that ends when she unlocks fucking psychic powers and blasts that alien through the wall of a SPACESHIP like hello??
Momo Ayase is that character you give a gun to if you want to shorten the book by half and the author gave her one in the form of psychic powers.
#i could talk about just the first two epsiodes for eternity but now we have SEVEN and oh man that seventh episode#dandadan#dandadan spoilers#slight spoilers but they’re there#PLEASE talk to me about this anime#he wears her CLOTHES AND THEY ARENT SUPER WEIRD ABOUT IT#it may not sound important at first glance but its just another subtle nod to#‘oh hey girls and women are actually just people too’#and from a male author at that#also the COLORSSSSS have you all SEEN THE COLORS#and grandma is the one who gets animated with the majority of fanservice which is a whole thing on its own#like even when momo’s in her underware she is animated like a person moving normally#and the only time she even thinks to go ‘woah hey don’t look at me’ is when shes actively changing#she’s freaking out about the actual danger in the first episode and not just being embarrassed shes in her underware#like just another subtle difference from how most women in anime would react
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Cassandra Cain and Asian Stereotypes
So I've seen people debating whether Cass is a racist character or not because she falls into certain Asian stereotypes. While this discussion is valid and important, a lot of the conversation (on this website and beyond) is steered by White/non-Asian people, or people who haven't read a lot of Cass' stuff. This is my take on Cass and Asian stereotypes as a Chinese Cass fan. I do not speak for all Asians, or even all Chinese people, who are absolutely free to disagree with any of these arguments.
Stereotypes I will cover here: Silent Asian, Model Minority, and Hypersexuality.
The Silent Asian Stereotype
The most obvious stereotype Cass runs into is the Silent Asian. I would recommend reading the linked article for more information. Silent Asian characters are Asians who are part of a core cast, but rarely speak. Kimiko Miyashiro in The Boys, Lilly in Pitch Perfect, and Katana in Suicide Squad are all examples of this. The article also mentions Ben from Umbrella Academy, who can only communicate with one character, thus limiting his dialogue.
Why does this happen? Removing Asian characters' dialogue reflects the Western conception of Asians as demure, rule-following, and meek, never speaking up or acting out. It also means writers don't have to spend as much time writing these Asian characters, who are secondary to White protagonists.
The problem with the Silent Asian, then, is not the silence itself, but the consequences of silence. Mute Asians exist, as do Asians who don't speak much; in media, Silent Asians are harmful because they indicate an unwillingness to focus on the Asian character.
This is why Cass, even before she learns to speak longer sentences, is not a Silent Asian. While her conception undoubtedly has unfortunate echoes of this trope, she defies it by being the protagonist of the story. A protagonist cannot be a Silent Asian, because a requirement of the trope is being a secondary character. Cass' feelings and actions are the center of Batgirl (2000), so allegations of this stereotype don't actually make sense.
Furthermore, the trope is about passivity and acquiescence to a White authority. From her introduction, Cass is neither passive nor acquiescent - her origin story is literally about defying David Cain, a White male authority figure. Beyond her not speaking much, she ticks none of the boxes for this stereotype. I think it's time for people to stop mentioning this stereotype in conjunction with Cass, who in every possible way subverts it.
The Model Minority Stereotype
The model minority myth is the belief that Asians are more successful and talented than others, particularly other minoritised groups. Like the Silent Asian, the model minority myth paints Asians as obedient and submissive. This is, in many ways, more insidious than the Silent Asian - there are still people who believe this stereotype (and jokes like 'of course you're good at math, you're Asian') is somehow not racist.
Though this myth seems positive, make no mistake that White people invented this tale for two reasons: to put down Black and Brown communities, and to prevent Asians from ever fully assimilating into White culture.
Cass plays on this myth very interestingly. I've discussed in this post how David Cain and Bruce's assertion that she's 'perfect' is a blatant reference to the model minority myth - by describing her as 'perfect' to them, they are centering their own desires, erasing Cass' individuality.
This is partially why I don't like 'Cass is Bruce's favourite' and 'Cass is an angel who can do no wrong' interpretations when people are just saying it without context. Cass being Bruce's favourite, or Bruce seeing her as an angel, is not a good thing - it is a representation of his biased attitude towards her. He is unable to accept her being a murderer because he is trapped within the model minority mindset. This is not saying Bruce is a full-on racist, but that his actions and perspectives are coloured by his Whiteness.
Cass' abrasive personality, willingness to defy Bruce and David, and very real flaws (her inability to see grey areas, communication difficulties, etc.) make her avoid this stereotype. Additionally, her close relationships with Black characters like Onyx and Duke are essential to combating the anti-Blackness at the core of the model minority myth. Her character evokes the stereotype (perfect martial arts silent fighter), but ultimately defies it through being the star of her own story (and also not being good at math. The fact she doesn't have anything to do with tech is actually one of my favourite aspects of her character, because I am TIRED of tech Asian characters).
The Hypersexual Asian Woman Stereotype
Asian women are often exoticised and fetishised as the ideal sexual partner; think of the term 'yellow fever', which describes men lusting after Asian women. The hypersexualisation of Asian women in media once again goes hand-in-hand with Asians being submissive. They are seen as innocent and child-like, while simultaneously being seductive and sexually experienced.
This stereotype is genuinely perpetuated in Batgirl (2000), mainly by the art in Horrocks' run. Where in Puckett's run there is refreshingly little sexualisation of Cass, once you hit Horrocks' run you get a LOT more shots of her lying down, sexually suggestive covers, etc. People have discussed this already, probably to more effect than I will do here.
However, as I wrote in my Gender and Sexuality posts, the writing is actually fairly defiant of this trope. Cass is vocally uncomfortable with hypersexualisation, and neither of her male love interests stick around. The problem with the Hypersexual Asian Woman is the focus on White sexual interests, where the woman is objectified for the White male gaze. Simply because Cass is the protagonist, the writing focuses on her sexual interests, and in the end it's about gaining control of her gender presentation and sexuality.
Cassandra Cain Vs. Asian Stereotypes
The through-line that connects all these Asian stereotypes is a lack of agency. There's a reason passiveness is the main trait for all of these tropes- the Asian body must be weaker than their White counterparts, in order to be tools or weapons against other minoritised groups.
Cassandra Cain, a character born from a choice that defies White male authority, rises above this passiveness with flying colours. The details of her character certainly fall into some of the above tropes, and the way her character is handled later (evil Cass, New 52), is certainly racist. However, the reason she means so much to me is because at its core, her story is a story of Asian agency. And that in itself is unstereotypical.
#cassandra cain#batgirl#batgirl 2000#race#uhhh idk why i wrote this whole essay idk if anyone will read this entire thing#it's a love letter to cass and a racism analysis all in one#definitely other asians may disagree and that's totally valid#this is NOT the be all end all of opinions of cass and race!! please read other people's opinions as well#i didn't even touch on how cass' suicidal ideation is a refreshing portrayal of asian mental health which is a hugely underrepresented topi#model minority myth when i get you...#batman#meta
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Sperm is the symbol of hope in pain, yes. Sit down, I'll explain.
Yes, even sperm has symbolism.
Although this title may sound catchy, I didn't phrase it that way to make it so, I really mean it. I'm just warning that some of my sentences are going to sound completely crazy. Let me begin.
I've said it before, but when we have a tripartite chapter, the key to reading it is to link these three elements. What do kissing, love and sperm have to do with each other? The answer seems obvious, and refers back to the previous chapter. The link lies in the act committed in chapter 167. But I think it's more subtle and stronger than that.
These three elements are impossible to deny. Just as Asa can't deny not loving Denji to Yoru, Yoru can't deny having kissed Denji twice, and wanting to kiss him again. Sperm carries the same message (crazy phrase). It is just as much a part of the realization of the previous elements, impossible to deny. It can be cleaned up, forgotten like kissing, denied like love, it is the concretization of the other two acts.
Semen is perceived as negative, disgusting, sticky, as new feelings or an unexpected kiss can be. But above all it's a result that doesn't help either protagonist.
Again it's crazy what I'm about to say. But just as the semen made Denji realize that Asa/Yoru wanted to kiss him, he hoped there was a feeling of love. Just as Asa and Yoru denied kissing and love for him, realized they had semen on their hands. I know it sounds weird when you say it like that, but it's not. Sexuality is a major theme in CSM. Just as its organic aspect carries a message.
Sperm refers to the fact that Denji masturbates when he's unwell, just as he relies on the discovery of sex to be happy. The semen also reflects Asa's fear of intimacy. Just as it is a kind of victory for Yoru, who sexually assaulted them both.
In short, the tripartite title basically refers to the feelings intertwined between these three pivots. And his order makes sense. It symbolizes the way Yoru interferes.
Yoru kissed Denji for the first time at a time when Asa barely realized what she was feeling. It's vital to understand that, at this point, neither Yoru nor Asa were yet fully in love with Denji, since they hadn't yet developed feelings for CSM during the Falling Devil arc.
The kiss came before the love. He was stolen. Whether it's because it's unexpected for Denji. And precipitous for Asa.
Then there's the development of Asa's feelings, again leading to an appropriation of Yoru, committing a precipitous sexual act for both protagonists.
But above all, the three elements were succinctly crossed out. The kiss had been temporarily forgotten by Yoru. The semen is washed away to forget the sexual assault. And Denji is denied love.
Let me be very clear so that everyone understands. Love, kissing and semen are denied by Asa and happened in the wrong order for her.
Just as they are monopolized by Yoru.
Just as Denji places his hopes in them, and they are a logical consequence for him.
But it's not all doom and gloom. Because the name of the sushi restaurant is a coded message (another crazy phrase).
As I've said before, every element is a symbol. The fish are.
They hark back to the aquarium episode. As Asa despaired, Denji fed her fish and starfish, foods Asa disliked. Just as she was in despair and denied herself hope, fish is associated with regaining hope. Above all, the aquatic element is the antithesis of fire, represented by the fire demon who leads us to be what we desire, even if it means suffering for it. Fish is acceptance, fire disillusionment.
It's not present in the English version and I don't know if it's translated from Japanese, but I hope so, but this chapter reinforces my interpretation: press the button to have hot water but but beware of burns. We have to relate the fish to understand the symbol of fire. Yes.
So what does the restaurant's name mean?
Two options. The key to facing death is hope. Or will the protagonists perish from hoping that happiness is within their reach ?
Actually I think it's deeper than that. I've been hoping for this for a few times now, so I'm going to try again.
When Asa invited Denji, it was because she considered him less than a cat. Who else considered him less than a cat ?
When Asa was picky about food at the aquarium? Who else is?
Who did Asa think of at the aquarium?
For whom precisely does Denji not feel love in the sense that he feels it for Asa ?
Remember when I said that the title refers to negation ?
There's hope in death.
When Denji says he wants to like sushi, symbolically it's to keep hope alive.
But fish are a strong enough symbol to refer to someone whose name wasn't uttered once in part 2. Forgotten.
Eating sushi will lead Denji to count on his family again.
Like the hope of finding someone dear to him.
Love in horror.
Power.
But wait before you go. I lied, there's more despair than hope. You can't blame me, that's what Fujimoto does all the time.
What did Power do ? Die for love, right ? Hope, denial, love........
Power even died twice, didn't she? Cut in two, right?
I know Asa and Denji have already died, but they can die a second time, can't they ? But this time with two of them. Dying a second time together.
Do you miss the cursed number 2 ?
#chainsaw man#csm#csm part 2#csm spoilers#denji hayakawa#denji#asa mitaka#asaden#yoru#power#csm 168#my thoughts
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Ugh. I have to say it. I’ve been holding it back because I know how much fandom hates this plot point so much. And like maybe it’s because I enjoy angst, or because characters coming in a vacuum sealed ‘morally upstanding’ package is just not realistic or enjoyable to me.
But Gwen should not have been ‘bewitched’ to cheat on Arthur with Lancelot. For one, it just sets another horrible precedence of magic use within the narrative. And two: it’s boring as hell. Oh, and also apparently Gwen was only allowed screen time in later seasons when her autonomy was nowhere to be seen. So three. Three reasons why I find it dumb as hell. And one that last front? Yeah, I think she should have willingly had an affair with Lancelot. I know, I Know. Cheating bad. Cheating make evil wrong person. Or whatever twitterinas are saying.
But hear me out (or don’t). How did Gwen feel after Lancelot died after she made him promise to return Arthur to her alive? Did she feel that she had unwittingly sentenced him to death? Her first true love; the man she looked for in other men. (Maybe we’d know how she felt if the writers didn’t have her going off like a broken record and just keep repeating what a great king Artie would someday be). I wish we had seen her grief, I wish she had been given time to mourn (as we know she never is in a series that kills every family member she has). And then Lancelot returns. She realizes she stills loves him, she feels guilty and blames herself thinking she had a part in his death. She thinks she asked him to sacrifice himself. And she wonders if she made the right choice. Lancelot and Arthur are there before her, and her wedding is in two days, and it’s all so sudden and the window of opportunity is about to be closed for the rest of her life; and she wonders if she’s chosen the right man. Gwen wonders if she’s been given a second chance, can she amend her previous choices. Does she want to amend them. Yes, this storyline opens her up to all sorts of criticisms. Fandom would condemn her a slut, she would join the ranks of women who can’t just make up their damn mind. Someone would declare it’s anti-feminist, because women aren’t allowed to be portrayed with “bad” qualities and when they are it just sets us all back.
But…it would be so much more nuanced than the plot they gave us. It would give Gwen the opportunity to make the choice because in the past it had been robbed from her (Lancelot leaving when he realized that Arthur loved Gwen, and Lancelot dying the first time). It would grant her autonomy over her own sexuality and choice of partner(s). Unlike the male protagonists in this show, Gwen is never actually given a real chance to morally grapple with anything, especially her own actions. She just is a good person who never does anything wrong, can be a bad-ass if it’s required, and falls into the straight and narrow path of ideal womanhood when she gets a boyfriend in a position of extreme power.
I know I’m barely making sense, but she just could have been written so much better. She could have been treated like a real person in the writers room, but she wasn’t.
#bbc merlin#gwen merlin#bbc gwen#guinevere#gwenhwyfar#guinevere pendragon#lancelot bbc#guinevere x lancelot#gwencelot#arthur pendragon#lancelot du lac#will probably edit later#i kept getting interrupted while trying to write this#angel coulby
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What's the shylock dilemma you referred to in your last post?
That's not a standard term or anything, its just what I use to describe characters who I find interesting, but who are also horrible stereotypes, and whose interesting qualities cannot be isolated from what makes them a harmful stereotype. Shylock from The Merchant of Venice is a prototypical example of this, a character who's interesting because of his justified rage towards the bigoted society around him and towards the antisemitic protagonists in particular, but who only exhibits this in the course of his broader characterization as a greedy and bloodthirsty usurer.
Another example of the same phenomenon would be Tuco Ramírez from "The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly," whose characterization as a humorous buffoon, entertainingly sly trickster, and tragic figure are ultimately just extensions of the way he serves as a horrendous brownface caricature of Mexicans. He's only legible as part of a Western imaginary that sees Mexicans as brutes and rapists: savage, disreputable, and "ugly" by nature.
Wildbow has written several queer characters that fit into this mold, in ways the fandom comments on frequently: Amy's characterization in Worm as a tragic victim of family dynamics are ultimately in service to a story about the uncontrollable sexual urges of a homosexual deviant. Her use in Ward as a critique of offloading moral responsibility onto circumstances is motivated by a perceived need to make her less sympathetic, and is accomplished by doubling-down on characterizing her as a predatory deviant with uncontrollable urges. Tristan's backstory has been perhaps my favorite part of Ward so far, but at its core its the story of a man harming his brother in order to pursue homosexual relationships.
I wouldn't necessarily group Alec in as an example of this; rather than being a necessary aspect of his story and what makes it interesting, the detail of him raping both women and men men as a child could've been removed without needing to change anything else in his story. Ditto for Kenzie specifically attempting to force a relationship between herself and another girl. They're both incidentally bisexual, and their characterization wouldn't lose anything if they weren't written as bisexual—certainly, they didn't need to have their bisexuality revealed in the course of recounting their acts of sexual violence.
The same can't be said for Amy and Tristan: Amy's intense shame and repression as a closeted lesbian is an important aspect of the way the Guts and Glory plotline critiques the expectation parents impose on their children to conform to the idealized nuclear family dynamic. It intensifies her feeling of being an outsider, of not fitting the blond, presentable, heroic ideal they represent, of not being able to happily be paired off with the rich or influential boys her family pushes her to pursue. And its an aspect of her worries that she's intrinsically a bad person: The fear that her villainous parentage determines her character, that she ultimately just can't fit into her heroic adopted family, is a major component of her dogmatic early view of heroes as good and villains as evil, and her downward spiral when she realizes that being a hero can't protect her from being a bad person (I go into more detail here). Her sense that something is inherently wrong with her as a product of her shitty upbringing, and the way it leads to tragedy, is her story. You can't just snip out the homophobia by having her not be a lesbian the way you can with Kenzie.
Similarly, Tristan's interesting in part because his is the story of a guy who's denied getting to pursue the happiness afforded to his brother, because forcing someone to live through a "normal" romantic straight relationships is seen by the Vera siblings' corporate handlers as less unreasonable than forcing them to live through a "wilder" gay sexual-and-romantic relationship. And the text does actually criticize this viewpoint, at least in places. Byron making Tristan sit through dates with a person who absolutely hates everything about him, whose mutual attraction is based in part on their shared disdain for Tristan's "peacock" qualities—its horrible, and the text does a good job selling it as horrible despite Byron framing things differently in his narration. The desperation fueling Tristan's actions being, in part, a realization that society will let Byron trample over Tristan to pursue his felicity because it sees it as "safe" but wont let Tristan do the same—its one of the strongest aspects of their plotline for me (more details on this reading of Tristan's reaction to the Byron/Moonsong coupling here). But having it be part of that plotline necessarily means having another story where a gay character hurts their straight sibling to pursue their deviant urges. Again, you can't just snip out the homophobia while keeping all the interesting thematic stuff, the latter only follows from the former given the story's setup.
This isn't to say wildbow couldn't have written stories that cover the same thematic ground without being homophobic. Its just to say that he couldn't have done so while still telling anything resembling the story of Amy Dallon or the story of Tristan Vera. And to be clear, as much as I love Amy and Tristan's stories, I don't think they're merits "make up" for their homophobic writing—no more than the famous "Do we not bleed" monologue makes up for Shakespeare writing the most infamous antisemitic caricature this side of The Protocols.
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Liko as a Female Protagonist
I really respect the route that Horizons took with Liko as a protagonist. Her core strengths are her sensitivity and empathy. I feel like in modern media, being gentle or sensitive is often presented as a weakness. I think this is partially because it can be seen as a lack of integrity or courage. However, gentleness and vulnerability are also stereotypically feminine traits. For many 'strong female characters', there's a fear of highlighting 'feminine' traits like sensitivity, in case the character is perceived as a 'damsel in distress'.
Liko's gentle nature and attunement to the feelings of others are the qualities that make her such an amazing character. She is able to understand the emotions of people and pokemon in unique ways. She is also incredibly caring and worries for the wellbeing of others. There are too many examples of this to fit into one post, but the first that comes to mind is Hatenna's premier episode. Liko is the first person to sense that something is wrong with Hatena, and immediately takes it into her care. This leads to Hatenna bonding with the rvts and joining Liko's team.
Like all protagonists, Liko has her share of flaws. However, this does not take away from her core strengths. There are times when Liko's overthinking traps her, such as when she attempts to martyer herself to the Explorers in episode two. Despite this, she always overcomes setbacks and is self-aware enough to take advice from others. The earliest example of this is the same episode I just mentioned, where Sprigatito prompts Liko to not back down and face the Explorers head on.
So while Liko is not faultless, her kindness and empathy is what sets her apart from other characters in the show. As the series progresses, Liko develops the confidence to play to her strengths more: She raises a nervous Hatenna into a badass Hattrem, forms a deep bond with Dot, and shows the importance of compassion. Through her emotional intelligence and maturity, she has a sixth sense for the needs of people and pokemon. Recently in episode 75, Liko was able to fully gain Terapagos' trust despite its tragic past, showing how far she has come as a trainer.
Liko's sensitivity does not make her weak, nor does it make her a damsel in distress. Ultimately, she will sacrifice anything to help others, which is what makes her heroic. Of course, I'm not suggesting that all female characters should be like Liko. Variety is so important. However, she acts as a reminder that sensitivity or 'feminine' traits in general are just as important as 'masculine' traits like boldness or rationality. She is so much more than a 'strong female character' in my book.
#pokemon liko#sprigatito#floragato#hatenna#hattrem#the rising volt tacklers#pokemon horizons#anipoke#pokeani#pokemon anime
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hey I was planning another post today but instead let’s talk about how much I love that there’s not really a ‘good’ ending to the companion plotlines in Veilguard. It reminds me of Leliana and Alistair’s plotlines in DAO in that what you choose says more about the player/protagonist than anything
I just finished Isana Negat a second time, and I did the other ending and I thought it was just as good. Like, yeah, Harding does deserve to be angry! They did fucking get everything taken away from them! It’s so painful and horrific; yes you can, and should, be mad! But also Harding prioritizing her very real love for and compassion towards other people is not wrong. It’s just different! It’s just Rook’s friend/lover asking them for advice, and Rook giving it! You know, like in real life except with huge magical rock giants
And okay I’m never going to kill Illario because I think it would make Luca really sad and he has enough problems, Whoops I misremembered this, I don’t think you can kill Illario actually. I love that for Luca <3 But yk, I’m probably still not going to imprison him. but I can see it! Because the cycle has to end, right? The violence and infighting of the Crows endlessly attacking each other over power is part of what allowed the Antaam to get a foothold in Antiva, because there was like a double agent or something (if I’m remembering right from Tev Nights). Some kind of ending needs to be made to this endless violence. And I suppose it depends on how retributive Rook is, which is a great question to ask of the player (one that is asked repeatedly throughout the game). It’s not like Illario didn’t do anything, you know! He probably deserves punishment. But Rook, as they always can at various points, can be merciful, can choose absolution. Wow no, I’m glad I was wrong I love it more like this.
And oh boy, I LOVED the ending of Emmrich’s quest, don’t even get me started! Like!! I thought it was going to be ‘well obviously we HAVE to save Manfred’, but how Emmrich talks about accepting his death and his sacrifice convinced me! I was like alright man, this is a real choice! I actually did make him a lich last time (made a lot of sense from a Watcher perspective, imo) and not only was the cutscene sick as hell, but the follow-up was so funny and I got some really sad Spite dialogue which fucking wrecked me. It was great— seriously, his plotline is one of my favorites in the whole game.
And Davrin’s! I’ve already expounded at length about how much I like his quest line and how it ties into the Grey Wardens, but I really think both of his options for the griffons are so workable, because you know the Grey Wardens, especially under Antione and Evka, aren’t going to hurt those little guys again! But also the scenes with Eldrin are so endearing, and Davrin’s hope for a brighter future for them is so sweet and genuine. It’s hard to pick! It’s about Rook's perspective!
Neve's I'll admit I don't vibe with as much just because of the like 'trust the authorities' angle, but i haven't tried saving Minrathous yet and I think it would be sooooo involving as a Shadow Dragon especially. Because that's what they're fighting for, right? That better Minrathous where they CAN be sure that if they send the insane cultist lady to prison she’s going to stay there? But there’s always the practical consideration of people’s lives being at stake NOW, of Neve needing her friends safe NOW. And just killing Aelia ensures she will never be an issue again. So I can see both angles for sure
And Taash ;-; oh, Taash. I haven’t posted about them that much yet because they make me very emotional and it’s hard to organize thoughts like that. But I really love their quest, and their struggle to define themselves. And look, I know people wanted the option to tell them they could be both, but like as a person who has lived a similar experience, it really feels sometimes like the world is making you choose. It can feel like you’re not enough of either thing for anyone. And there are parts of your identity that you will have to make a choice on, and I think it’s trying to speak to that. I did the Rivaini one, and it’s like… well, they’re embracing the culture of Rivain, but it’s not like anyone is ever going to look at them and NOT see a Qunari. You can’t get away from that. What you choose to do in response is a real dilemma and I think that if you engage with the text genuinely you can see what Trick was doing. Also, there is a really great dialogue from Rook that I think gives more context to the discussion; they can say that they have been many things, and it’s important to take what works from each experience and make it part of yourself. So I don’t think Taash’s plot is trying to make them throw away any of themselves, just defining priorities. (Sorry, that got long. Feelings, opinions about that one)
And I don’t think Bellara’s is obvious, either, especially with how they involve the Nadas Dirthalen in her personal plot. This is a thing that is really emotionally and culturally significant to her, but at the same time it is part of what hurt her brother and ultimately took him away from her. She’s really preoccupied with not causing harm by her actions; she spends the whole game worried about it! And even though Rook doesn’t see the dangerous elements of the repository, that doesn’t mean they’re not there. The puzzle quest you can find in Arlathan proves that other people besides Cyrian were taken in by Anaris. And also, there’s the plot thread they briefly touched on in the last game which is that the culture the Dalish have built, that they have RIGHT NOW, is not wrong. But it’s also important to remember history, even if it’s unpleasant or could be dangerous, which is another thing you can discuss with Bellara during the game. So there’s no wrong choice! It’s just about Rook and Bellara and what’s important from their perspectives.
Anyway it was super refreshing to have these kinds of choices! It reminds me of the best character choices in DAI and DAO, especially, and I’m so happy they carried those things forward and improved on them.
#datv spoilers#veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard#Taash#bellara lutare#davrin#lucanis dellamorte#neve gallus#lace harding#emmrich volkarin
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Rewatching Link Click: Easter eggs in your noodle soup?
So I've just finished watching both seasons of Link Click/Shíguāng Dàilǐ-rén, which means that obviously I'm watching it all over again. What did you expect me to do, sit around waiting for Bridon arc while the Bilibili official account taunts us with replays??
Besides, Link Click is one of those dishes that is best served twice. The early episodes are packed with hints and foreshadowing that only become clear once you've gotten up to date, so I've made it my mission to catch 'em all.
You don't say.
It's well known that certain early mini-arcs (for instance Chen Xiao's basketball match, and Doudou's kidnapping) have implications for the larger plotline or at least contain important exposition/character insights that the story would not feel complete without. There are also several that get written off as filler, or are generally considered to not have any purpose beyond familiarising the audience with the characters and setup, and lulling you into a false sense of comfort before everything goes to shit. Episode 2: Secret Recipe, AKA the Noodle Lesbians episode, beloved as it is, tends to fall into the second category.
Or does it?
On a rewatch, I still don't think it does anything to advance the main plot. We don't even really know where it fits into the timeline, because we're never told what day it is and Lu Guang's watch is never shown on screen (I'll get around to a longer analysis of this another day). However, I'm instead inclined to believe that it's one of the most important episodes in the show - if not THE most important - because it's essentially an allegory for the story of Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang, and gives you a bird's eye view of how the relationship between them is going to develop - which, as you know, is what the show is all about. And the fact that it's not situated in a specific time, in a show that cares heavily about timeline construction, makes it better.
The episode starts with this quote from German photographer August Sander, who believed that, through photography, he could reveal the characteristic traits of people. "The portrait is your mirror. It's you." It's pretty explicit, when you think about it. This episode is a mirror of the entire series, specifically of its protagonists.
Moving on. The episode's storyline is quite simple: two college "roommates" start a noodle shop together, and as time passes, they drift apart and eventually fall out as their priorities change. Yu Xia, the business-oriented one between them, wants to get hold of the secret ingredient used by Lin Zhen, to whose cooking the shop attributes its success. Does Yu Xia really want to steal the secret recipe? Or is it just one of the many things that the quieter Lin Zhen keeps hidden from her that she desperately wants to know, along with everything that went wrong between them? Your guess is as good as mine. Either way, there are lots of indirect parallels between Xialin of the noodle shop and Shiguang of the photo studio, even if for now they're very distinct individuals with their own personalities and struggles. It does, however, give some indication of what's to come.
This question isn't purely rhetorical, as we find out in the very next arc, where Cheng Xiaoshi has a fight with Lu Guang over letting his client's loved ones perish in the Wenchuan earthquake. Even if they eventually come to a consensus, they have fundamentally different life philosophies and approach their missions in very different ways. Cheng Xiaoshi is a hyperempathetic idealist who keeps trying to use his forays back into the past to fix his clients' personal problems, while Lu Guang remains utterly indifferent and staunchly against interfering, even in life-or-death situations. Which turns out to be a facade, because we later learn that he's just as much of a meddler as Cheng Xiaoshi - except he's focused on a singular, selfish goal, which is to keep Cheng Xiaoshi alive at any cost.
Let's go back to the noodle shop. After ten years of running the business together, it becomes clear that the ladies' aspirations are no longer compatible. Yu Xia has big plans for the shop. She wants to broaden their customer base - for profit, of course, but also so that more people can be made happy by the chance to taste their noodles. Lin Zhen's dreams, however, are on a smaller scale - perhaps only on a personal scale. Throughout the episode, it seems that she only really cares about making noodles for one person.
Sound familiar?
At the risk of digressing, it needs to be said that Yu Xia and Lin Zhen are absolutely very much a WLW couple. This isn't bait, it's elegant and really quite unsubtle queercoding that says 'to hell with censorship' loud and clear. Honeymoon jokes, the taxi driver assuming Lin Zhen had fought with her husband, and Lin Zhen's very bold attempts at flirting... we see you.
More to the point of this post, I think it's important to point out that Lin Zhen does not actually care for too many people other than Yu Xia. She's all worn out from making noodles for customers, but she forgets all about that when it's time to make a bowl for Yu Xia. She also keeps her special ingredient - which is one of the secrets she shares with Yu Xia, as we find out - highly guarded. She's never going to let these pesky reporters in on something so intimate.
Why is this important? Because, as it turns out, the episode's storyline - and Lin Zhen's motives - are all about saving Yu Xia.
We learn that the secret ingredient is a local specialty from Yu Xia's hometown. Lin Zhen has been using it for years, keeping the taste of home alive while Yu Xia's drifted further and further from home to the point where she can no longer remember where the ingredient came from. At the end of it all, when Yu Xia returns home, she finds Lin Zhen there waiting for her. Lin Zhen, mind you, does not hail from the same town. The girls met in college. It's home to her simply because it's Yu Xia's home.
This comes directly after a pilot episode that establishes the contrast between urban isolation and rural/familial warmth, through Emma's eyes, and in a show that continually reinforces the concept of longing for home and loved ones. By forcing Yu Xia to reevaluate her priorities, Lin Zhen manages to bring her back home - which is a place that includes herself.
Perhaps it's too early to say. But to me, it's a pretty neat thematic parallel of Lu Guang's solo quest to save Cheng Xiaoshi from death; which is intertwined with a greater goal of giving Cheng Xiaoshi a home, one that is safe and secure and surrounds him with those that love him and are there to stay.
But in the process of achieving this, one of his biggest obstacles is Cheng Xiaoshi himself - his insistence on interfering with the timeline so that Lu Guang can't predict events with certainty, his objections to the way Lu Guang does things, and the definite resistance Lu Guang will come up against if Cheng Xiaoshi learns about his plan. Pretty much every minor mission they undertake is a rehash of the same argument; Cheng Xiaoshi wants to use their combined powers to make a difference to other people's lives, and Lu Guang just has one goal in mind which means that he's going to ignore absolutely everyone else.
Notice how Yu Xia's looking to the future, while Lin Zhen's dream is to go back to a point in the past? Neat.
And when they finally part ways because it's clear Yu Xia is not going to support Lin Zhen's goal? Yu Xia asks her where she's going to go after they part ways, and Lin Zhen says:
I wonder where we've heard that before.
And if you need any more proof that this episode is in fact intended to be a mirror, do consider:
Their seating positions are mirrored too. Yeeeeaaaaaahhhh.
In conclusion: if this allegory is to be believed, then trust that Lu Guang will eventually succeed in his mission and Cheng Xiaoshi will find his way home to him. It'll happen, guys. In the meantime, at least our beloved noodle ladies will be living a peaceful life out in the countryside.
Since I don't know how to shut up and this website seems to be giving me infinite space to yap, let me include some more details about this episode that I found cool. There are so many.
Lin Zhen and Lu Guang are both shown while this line is being said. What with all that the fragrant flowers represent, it makes you think about what these characters' best memories might be and how much they treasure them.
This is such a tiny detail that you'd almost definitely miss it on the first watch, and it seems insignificant - until it isn't. When Cheng Xiaoshi hops into the girls' picture taken during their college days, he screws up and suggests they'd be better off dabbling in tech stuff like apps or intelligent management than running a noodle shop. Lu Guang makes him quickly eat his words, but they seem to have still struck a chord with Yu Xia - because later we see that she works over years to integrate an intelligent supply chain management system into their business. In fact, one of the reasons for Lin Zhen to alienate herself from the business is because she feels like it's gotten too techy and lost its human touch. Not really fair considering it was her own idea, is it?
I mean. This is probably a stretch. Digitization is pretty inevitable for big businesses nowadays, so Yu Xia, being as enterprising as she is, might have gone for it whether Lin Zhen suggested it or not. But it's interesting to think that it might be Cheng Xiaoshi's tiny alteration of the past that unfurled outwards like a hurricane from the beating of a butterfly's wing and catalysed their falling out. Especially because these kinds of bootstrap phenomena very much occur in later episodes and are a core feature of Link Click's time travel model.
Some suspicious behaviour on Lu Guang's part. He's quite certain there are no useful clues in the last picture Yu Xia and Lin Zhen took in front of their shop, despite it being the only one taken by Lin Zhen (seriously! you could go to her house, look through her phone, the possibilities are endless!) and the fact that this is the photo Cheng Xiaoshi did end up solving the mystery in, thanks to the ticket stubs he found in her purse (see?) Secondly, they outright miss a picture in the envelope - the most important picture of all which would have given them the answer right away, since this was when the fragrant flowers were first used. Not your best work, Lu Guang.
...or is it? Lu Guang is pretty meticulous, and it's unlike him to slip up in such obvious ways. He's also skilled at slipping things back into envelopes when he doesn't want them to be seen, as we know. Could it be that he didn't want Cheng Xiaoshi to solve the mystery? But why? Maybe it's metaphorical, like so much else of this episode: he doesn't want Cheng Xiaoshi to uncover his true intentions. The fact that all this is ultimately for his sake.
Interestingly, Lu Guang was very dejected at the idea of them seemingly being out of luck - they'd tried so many times and failed to fulfill the mission. Was he, perhaps, thinking about another mission he'd hate to fail? Anyway, it falls to Cheng Xiaoshi to cheer him up and give him hope for another try, which he accepts, with a small but genuine smile. My heart.
If you've scrolled this far, I'm glad you enjoyed my ramblings! I must say I don't know much about how Tumblr works so apologies if I mess up on formatting or tags, but I'll probably get the hang of it soon enough. I'll also probably end up enjoying Tumblr more than Twitter since it allows me unfettered yap space and won't feed my writing to the machine (yet). It's late and I should probably stop stop thinking bout it around now... but look forward to more random ramblings and thank you for reading!
#link click#shiguang daili ren#link click spoilers#sgdlr#shiguang#lcs1e2#cheng xiaoshi#lu guang#analysis#noodle lesbians#you can't have me watch a series about time shenanigans and expect me not to theorycraft
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SUUUPER long ask sorry.
What I find so fascinating is that, everyone, whether dante or her family, display her as this “prideful,” and having this “self importance,” that puts her above everyone. But, every memory we get of her is undoubtedly soft or full of, usually, love. You could say this is because of her natural softness with Quixote, but, she’s shown to be this way with Bari, too! She’s shown to pity the bear and even Dante later on. Faust informs Dante her level of agression then was because of Cassetti’s taboo and not a general read of her character. Even in Barber’s and Priest’s narration, she does enforce them, yes, but it’s always never something “prideful,” whispering at Priest he missed a line, and apparently watching over Barber, which leans into OUR Don’s and Sancho’s habit of acting like she.. isn’t apart of the world. (Giving her Gubo makes so much sense, on several levels, but especially Dongbaek accusing Gubo of acting like they aren’t one of them. Dongrang’s “you don’t need to keep acting like a guest.”) The sinners affirming she never, ever talks about herself, much rather sharing and wanting to hear OTHER’S stories. She’s always felt distant from the sinners, even more so than those “emotionally closed off,” like Outis, and that’s because she doesn’t let anyone in. And it seems she’s always been that way. I mean, she was willing to completely erase who she was in efforts to live someone else’s story. Even meta wise— she isn’t even the protagonist! She’s the person who watches the hijinks occur. She does not own this identity or story, she’s manually removed all her agency and autonomy. Something she ultimately did because of loathe of herself and love of someone else. Dante doesn’t want Don to face herself because it means they’d have to face her. Despite, how frail she seems, how even warm I’d say Vergilius sounds making the deal with her, her talk about “watching over Hong Lu,” with the implication that to just be there and try, and how that’s being taken from her, even now, because no one can seem to accept her, but Quixote. She can’t even accept herself. She’s someone who longed for family and love, but the entire world seems sure on seeing her as something prideful, evil, terrifying— and even as a human she was a one dimensional annoyance at worst. I wonder if she truly loved her family, the sinners, but was still unable to convey that? Did they read her wrong? Was she always prideful and distant? Or was she scared of not being loved? Is she truly that terrifying or has she learned to harden herself up to keep things in order for her helpless master? Has she taken up the burden of being the “bad guy,” to ensure he gets all he wants on a silver platter? The dichotomy of love in their relationship and what is ultimately terrifying, a lack of autonomy to even live her own life, be his ideal instead, simply on pretense he’s the only person to ever love her. Someone she cannot deny, quite literally, all for him.
THANK YOU FOR LONG ASK, I'm glad to see people to be that passionate about Don!
And I like the idea of her being less prideful but rather distant, which creates a feeling of arrogance. And I agree that most of her memories are full of love, just I think all of her love reserved to Don Quixote.
About Bari, she seems rather suspicious about her and flashbacks and agrees to her company only because of Don Quixote. You could argue using last Sanson play, but we still don't have a confirmation about who we're spoken here yet.
About Bear...I don't think it was piety, more like pragmatism.
About Dante... yeah, she looked at them as they were pietful it makes me wonder why...
About Cassati...well, . She's honoring this taboo, but this taboo is rooted in hierarchy in which she is much higher than Cassati, and if she believes in importance of taboo, she should believe in the importance of her status. We can compare it's to Don Quixote, who is letting Sancho ignore lines between their statuses while she calls Cassatti all insults possible.
And when I made point about her correcting Barber and Priest, it was not about pride, but more about their discomfort around her.
But I adore the idea of Sancho being an observer and the idea that she does not fit in and that she's not even trying. I thought a lot about Gubo's identity as a traitor in this story and how it paints Don, but him being never "one of them" now makes a lot of sense.
And with that, I think Sancho's problem is not even with thinking that everyone is unimportant. It's more like there is no one as important as Don Quixote, and that includes herself.
In a way, Don Quixote made a great thing becoming her family, but at the same time, he became the center of life, even if by accident.
Maybe she became a "bad guy" to make sure his dream will happen. But it still centering one person and his happiness while ignoring pleas of others. Sancho may not be purposely cruel, but she was ruthless archiving whatever Don Quixote wanted.
And that's why I think that her life as "Don" gave her a new perspective. Or understanding. About Don Quxote and most important about herself. She had a chance to have a life that wasn't centered around one person(she just didn't remember it was), learn other kinds of joy, and create relationships.
It's interesting that Dulcinea said that Sancho's eyes once were bright and starry until cold disinterest settled in them. And that means that from the beginning, there was something in her that could be Don Quixote.
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Building Houses and Burning Bridges Pt I
Summary:
It seems, oddly enough, that Gregory House lives to annoy you. He takes 'arseholish boss' to the next level. Wake up in the morning, ready to have breakfast, and drive to the hospital where you both work? Nope, you're getting a text that says you're late to his impromptu 4:30 AM meeting where he's had the 'breakthrough of the century' on the team's latest case. Get your hair cut and walk into work, for once feeling confident? Nope, he's saying that he would have done a better job blinded, hands tied and going through Vicodin withdrawals. Finally, 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, prove him wrong and attempt to wipe the cockiness off his face? Nope, you're simply slow because you didn't get to your diagnosis quicker and weak-willed because you didn't fight him for it in the beginning. Everything House does infuriates you, and it seems everything you do infuriates him. No wonder you end up pinned to the wall of your apartment and groping him like your life depends on. And knowing House, it very may well.
Warnings: Adult language, mature themes, eventual smut, female protagonist, no reference of y/n
Rating: 18+ MDNI
Current Status: Ongoing
A/N: No Beta readers for any of my fics, so apologies for spelling mistakes. I wrote this originally on AO3, and it's still a work in progress. As with my other fics, I'll be uploading here and there when I get inspo
Masterlist: Building Houses and Burning Bridges
Next Chapter: Pt 2
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Your mind trails off to the strangest of things when you’re nervous. You’re staring out the window pane, and there’s a small robin, hopping from branch to branch. It’s entrancing in a way. Do robins have little bird interviews for their little bird jobs? Or does everyone simply know what their role is, without having to apply for it? Collect the sticks, eat some bugs, and raise the young. Simple little bird jobs for simple little birds.
But then the woman in front of you clears her throat and you snap back to reality. Lisa Cuddy stares at you, but it’s not coldly like some interviewers may have. She smiles and you are flashed with her rows of perfect, white and straight teeth. Across from her, you feel underdressed, and not only in the literal sense. Some light makeup, to hide the fact that you hadn’t slept the previous night due to nerves, form-fitting but very obviously last-season pants, and a coat that you had quickly folded onto the chair beside you, to hide the tea stain down its front. But outside of that, she held a certain properness and professionalism you hadn’t mastered yet.
Despite that, she had beamed across your resume, congratulated you on your achievements, and told you that the job was almost ‘as good as yours’. She did, however, warn you. You would have another, more unofficial, interview to complete with your team leader before you began work. With the infamous Gregory House.
She inhaled, and it whistled through her nose. “Now, can I trust you to give you the very blunt run down of House, without you screaming and running for the hills? Because I think you need to know, while this job is incredibly hard and taxing…You may find he’s the worst part of it.”
You laughed politely. “I’m sure he’s not that bad. I once had a boss who had me make him coffee and lunch for three weeks straight after I had completed my PhD. He said it was a ‘chance for me to relax’,” You gesture air quotes, “before I got into serious work.”
Cuddy pinched the bridge of her nose. “No. As condescending as that is, House is worse than that.”
She must have seen your eyes widen because she quickly waves her hands in front of herself. “Don’t get me wrong. He’s brilliant, and, don’t pass this on to him, one of the best doctors you will ever work with. But…He can be rude. Egotistical. Infuriating. There are some days when he will make you feel pathetic and exhausted and other days when he will make you feel like you’ve discovered the secret to medicine. I’m not saying this to scare you, but rather I think you need to know that the people who are able to manage House and manage to work under him, do so with a lot of patience, humour, and resilience.”
You nod your head, and your brow furrows in seriousness. “I understand. Regardless of how he treats me, this is honestly an opportunity that I can’t pass up. I’m not going to let someone else ruin that for me.”
She beams at you. “That’s what I like to hear.”
You smile back at her, and she begins to shuffle papers on her desk and sort them into a stack. When they’re ordered into a neat pile, she looks back to you. “Rather than an interview, House will see this as a test. He will try to push your buttons. Make you nervous; worried. Don’t let him. You’re young, you’re beautiful, you’re smart,” You find yourself flushing at the honesty she seems to hold in her words. Cuddy was genuine and seemed like someone you could trust. That would be important if House was as bad as she made him out to be. “And he will try to make you all the more miserable for it.”
You let out a breathy sigh. “At least I’ll have time to prepare myself. What day would you like me to come in next?”
She winces and hands you the stack of papers (perhaps some miscellaneous files and formalities that you’ll investigate later, in private). “There won’t be another day, I’m afraid. He’ll be expecting you by his office following this.”
You breathe out, but afraid to seem well…Afraid, in front of Cuddy, you grit out a smile. “That’s perfectly fine. Sometimes it’s better to rip the bandaid off sooner, rather than later. Can you please direct me to his office?”
—--------
You feel your stomach plummet when you leave the elevator and begin walking down the hallway, clutching at your files as you do so.
Your short heels still manage to clack against the tiled floor as you walk. You pause and peer into a glass office. Sure enough, beside the door is a small plaque reading Dr G.House. Your hands reach for the doorknob, but it’s locked and you can’t push through. You peer into the office and see an empty desk, among other things.
It appeared the G.House was not home. So much for Cuddy’s warning that he would be waiting for you.
You breathe in deeply and scan around you. There are four or so chairs across from you, lining the side of the hallway, and sprawled across one of them is a man, staring right at you. You smile, half out of politeness and half out of awkwardness, and move to sit on the furthest seat. You settle down your papers, but when you look back, the man is turned and still staring. He has cropped, greying hair and steely blue eyes, and you quickly skim over him. Worn out jeans. A shirt with some sort of stain on it. A scuffed, dark cane resting beside him. Ratty trainers. At least he didn’t have the professionalism or poise that Cuddy carried around.
You realise you’ve stared a second past the respectful amount and you smile, fully out of awkwardness. “I don’t suppose you’re waiting for Dr House too?”
“Me?,” He raises an eyebrow, “Noo, I just like to wait outside his office as a pastime. See if I can conjure him through my psychic powers alone.”
You snort and raise your hands to your face quickly. “Well, do you know when he’ll be back?”
The man clicks his tongue. “Not at all. He doesn’t seem to care at all for punctuality, especially for…Who are you? A new hire?”
You tilt your head at him. “How’d you guess?”
He mimics you, tilting his head in the same direction. “You don’t look sick enough to be a patient, or tired enough to be a worker. Then there’s only the patient's family, new hire, or hooker to choose from. And no offence,” He trails his eyes down your form. “You don’t dress the part for the last option.”
You bark out a laugh at his incredulous words, shocked. “God. I’d hate to see the new hire who does.”
You’re happy to turn from the man and count the minutes until the infamous House appears, but the man draws your attention back to him with a question. “Why do you want to work with him?”
You squint your eyes at him. “And why do you want to know? Weren’t you the one to say that sitting here means you’re sick, a worker, a new hire, or a hooker?”
He nods, and his eyes appear calculating for a second. But then they’re masked and replaced with a forced smile “Yes, I did. As you can tell from my wicked cane, I’m a cripple hooker. I charge $200 for the hour, by the way. $300 and I’ll bring out the wheelchair.”
You can’t help but smile. Its funny, in a very twisted way. But you breathe deeply and try to compose yourself. You had never met someone as strange or bold as this man, but you supposed hospitals were the perfect place to find such specimens. The perfect mix of medicine, death and life, and you were produced with nutjobs.
“I’ve heard he’s a brilliant doctor-”
“And incredibly rude. I saw him the other week for the pain in my leg, and he just shoved a Vicodin bottle in my hand and called me an addict.”
You sighed. “You’re the second person to tell me that today. While I’m sorry to hear of his bedside manner, there are certain things I’m willing to go without in trade for working with him. I’ll deal with any rudeness or arrogance if it means I’m able to learn from him and contribute to his team.”
Now it’s the man who snorts out a laugh. “You’ll deal with being disrespected and abused just so you can be the ‘teacher's pet’ of medicine?”
You narrow your eyes at him. “No! Obviously, I’m going to stand up for myself and my own morals. But I think to some degree, people are set in their ways; if he is, I’ll learn to work around it, rather than break through it.” You huff, “And I won’t be a ‘teacher’s pet’. Been there, done that; it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
The man says nothing, and you turn to him, waiting for a witty reply or another snarky hooker joke, but then another man strolls up to the two of you. He has tousled brown hair, dark eyes and a strikingly white lab coat. House.
You stand up quickly and offer your hand. He shakes it, and you introduce yourself.
He smiles at you, with a sincereness that nearly startles you. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m assuming you’re the new hire? I’m James Wilson, head of Oncology here.”
Oh. So not House.
You stutter for a moment but compose yourself. “Oh! I’m sorry, I thought you were Dr House. Let me know if this is completely out of your ballpark then, but we’ve,” You gesture over your shoulder to the man still sitting down, “been waiting here for Dr House. Could you please point me in the right direction? He wasn’t in his office.”
The man raises his eyebrows at you, and you’re worried you said something to offend him -not like you made a hooker comment about him- but then he sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose, the same way Cuddy did. “House, would you like to introduce yourself to your new hire?”
Your eyebrows narrow. “I’m sorry, what?” Who was he talking to?
But then there’s the slight tap of a cane against the floor, and the man beside you rises to his full height.
You turn to him, perplexed, and he mockingly widens his eyes and raises his free hand to his mouth in faux shock. “Whoops! I forgot I transferred from being a Cripple Hooker to being a doctor. Don’t worry, I still charge the same rate.”
He shuffles past you, limping, and into his office. Wilson remains beside you, and he shakes his head, eyes cast upwards. “You’ll get used to him. Just don’t let him hassle you too much or he’ll get used to that.”
You turn to thank him for the warning, but House clears his throat loudly from within his office, and sits down at the wooden desk as if to say ‘well hurry up then’. Meekly, you gather your notes, tell Dr Wilson it was nice to meet him, and walk into the office to sit across from House
He stares at you, the same way he stared at you out in the hallway, and you find yourself prompted to speak first. “So, Dr House. While it’s nice to formally meet you, I’m wondering if it wasn’t for Dr Wilson, were we just going to sit outside and trade hooker jokes for the next few hours?”
His eyebrows narrow. “You don’t need to lie.”
“What?”
“It’s not nice to meet me.” He rolls his eyes. “I’ve met me before. It’s not a pleasant experience.”
He runs his hands down his worn face and continues to speak. “I have your resume. Your, quite frankly, startling long list of academic achievements and medical mumbo jumbo. I could give less of a hoot about those things; they won’t help you here. Awards and experience and acting like you give a shit is Cuddy’s forte, not mine.”
You find yourself puzzled about how to reply, but he saves you the effort and continues speaking, first drawing out your last name in a long drawl. “You seem intelligent and as if you lack a backbone. Both are necessary things for my team. But,” He stares intently at you, “Why do you want to work here? With me? On this team?”
You suck in air. “Well, as I said earlier, you’re brilliant. I know your cases and I know the work you’ve done. To put it blatantly, you’ve saved lives where others would have prepped the morgue. I want to know how to do that, and how to become the best doctor I can be.”
He laughs. “Being a suck-up isn’t a requirement for being a good doctor.”
“Neither is being an arsehole, but you seem to have that covered.”
Shit. Shit. Did you really just say that? To your boss? God, he was infuriating yes, and rude and-Oh. This was what Cuddy was warning you about. Losing your cool in face of his taunts and remarks. Well, low and behold, you lost your cool.
He narrows his eyes and leans forward to rest his head on his steepled hands. “Do you usually call people names during interviews or just the ones where you don’t want the job?”
You huff, exasperated. “I want this job. Hell, I need this job.”
“Everyone needs a job. Everyone has bills. But you’re avoiding the question.”
Your jaw clenches. “Well, not everyone has tenure. And, to answer your question, I only call people names during interviews because you made an incorrect assumption about me; I do have a backbone.”
He leans back in his chair and studies you. “Snarkiness isn’t a backbone. It’s a defence mechanism, sure, but a backbone would be walking out of here and knowing that your worth as a doctor means you shouldn’t be disrespected like that.”
Staring into his icy eyes, you speak. “You’ve got to ask me question after question. Am I a hooker? Why do I want to work with you? Now, I’m going to ask you a question. Why are we doing this?”
“Well sweetheart, I’m not sure if you’ve heard of this amazing thing, but there’s an interview you have before you start a job to see if you’re suited to-”
“No. I mean why are you ‘interviewing’ me if you’ve already made up your mind?”
At that, he stays silent. Confirmation. You get the sense that if he hadn’t made his decision even before you saw him, he made it the second you sat down outside. Maybe it was the way you walked, or the awkward smile you passed to him. Whatever it was, he couldn’t give less of a shit about your credentials; or you.
You nod and gather your things again. “Thank you for your time, Dr House. Please pass my regards to Cuddy.”
You reach the door before he speaks again. “You didn’t ask me what my decision was.”
You huff. “I think you’ve made it abundantly clear.”
“You’re hired.”
Oh.
#gregory house#gregory house x reader#gregory house fic#house md#house md x reader#house md fic#house md fanfiction#greg house#greg house x f!reader
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The constant references to Otome Dissection are really interesting. Otome Dissection is about a suicidal girl who uses her connection to another person as her life line, constantly clinging to them and depending on them until they're drained and she goes too far and ends up dying. Which fits for Monitoring Miku, right? We don't know enough about her life to say she's suicidal but her entire existence is focused on the person she loves- except the song doesn't compare her to Otome Dissection, but instead the person she loves. She wants to "save (their) dissected heart".
At first, this doesn't seem to make much sense, right? This person, who I'll called "Monitored" for convenience, wants nothing to do with her- atleast until the end. But when you start picking apart Otome Dissection's lyrics more, the way Miku views their 'relationship' starts making more sense.
All throughout Monitoring, Miku showers Monitored in praise and comfort, telling them to just show her everything they want to hide, show all their pain so she can accept and heal it. In Otome Dissection, our protagonist is hesitant to fully rely on her lover, stuck inbetween wanting to pour everything on them and wanting to hide away from them. "Both of us with our masks on, we flirted" "Yeah, there's a kid there, lost in anything and everything, shedding tears, meowing 'SOS' with their eyes only halfway open" "I don't want to go so far as to share all the things that cause me pain, I just want to run away from this love" "'I don't want to live' is what I should've said, will I ever find peace?" This helps make Miku's perspective in Monitoring alot clearer- she's not just trying to break Monitored's will down so they let her in, she's genuinely convinced they secretly want her, and is simply putting on a mask of not wanting to let her in, very literally hiding how they really feel behind the door, and she just needs to convince them to let her in. They're 'purposely' "sprinkling spices" on the two of them, and it's Miku's job to "lick away (the) spices".
In some way, she's not completely wrong. We hear Miku call Monitored constantly through the song, and since she's talking to the door while she does this, I imagine its more of some way to check they're actually there listening to her rather than wanting them to pick up. Based on the vibrating sound, she's calling their cellphone rather than landline, and she only seems to have the one phone, so why don't they ever block her? Why don't they ever do anything to get rid of her? Why do they go and listen to her everytime? Unfortunately for Miku, it's not because they're super secretly in love with her and playing a game, but as Miku makes very clear in the song, Monitored is extremely lonely. They obviously don't want to be stalked and harassed, it's clearly having a negative affect on their mental state, their vision distorting whenever Miku is around- I doubt they're literally hallucinating but rather just feeling like they're going insane from the constant monitoring. We see their vision clear up and go back to normal when Miku lets up a little at the bridge, only for the visual distortions to reach their peak when she comes back full force. When Monitored eventually gives up and lets her in, their vision is normal again, as if they've just accepted her constant presence in their life as normal. Giving up is easier than resisting someone who has no intention of stopping, and Monitored is someone usually who spends everyday alone, having no one to share their hobbies with, staying up all night until eventually crying themselves to sleep- they're unable to completely shut out the only person who gives them any sort of love and attention. Miku is very much aware of this, and this is what she preys on to break them down.
It also adds a sense of urgency to Miku's harassment. Monitored's mental health was already bad before all the stalking due to the isolation they deal with, and Otome Dissection ends with the person she loves too drained to help her anymore, leading in her death. If Miku doesn't 'save' Monitored from themselves, she's convinced the worst could happen. Her harassment starts sexual but quickly turns into overbearing comfort, trying to convince them to just lean entirely on her instead of suffering alone. We see at the bridge she stops her constant conversations with Monitored, still waiting outside the door but for much shorter amounts of time. In Otome Dissection's words, she starts to grow "cold", having the "burning passion" pulled out of her. Since she's the one connecting her love to the song, she probably realises what's happening and that's why she goes back to harassing them even more intensely than she did before. In her eyes, she's keeping them alive, showing them that she'll always be there for them. In Monitored's eyes, she's showing them that there's no escape, that any moment of peace and sign of relenting won't last long. Eventually, Monitored is broken down and Miku gets to finally be her idol's savior.
Stream Monitoring 👁👍
youtube
#songberry#deco*27#vocasong#i wanna break this song down line for line but i have to go to work :< but atleast take this..................#Youtube
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I don't know if you know blue eye Samurai, but I hate how people talk about the protagonist.
I'm a non binary Trans man, and I actually identify a lot with Mizu (the protagonist), but I go here on Tumblr and I see a lot of posts that say: "I know everyone can see Mizu however they like, but I want everyone to know that the right interpretation is that she is a woman pretending to be a man... but everyone can think whatever they want, not forgetting that she is a woman of course."
And it's a bit annoying because when I see explanations of why is "wrong" to see Mizu as a Trans man, I see people going "Why can't there be representation of gender non conforming women!?" And "she wouldn't pretend to be a man if it wasn't for the society she lives in!"
The last one makes me especially angry, because of how many Trans men get erased from history with that same argument.
I don't know, I think it makes me mad because that fandom feels like a micro cosmos of the anti Trans masculinity a lot of Trans men have to face.
And it's not like I think it's wrong to see Mizu as a woman, but when everyone goes "of course she is a woman, why would she want to be a man for anything other than necessity?" I don't know how to feel.
I'm gonna steal my own words from that post about jeanne d'arc:
And the best part is, we can say all of this and also see her as part of women's history! Because women's history, too, does not have to be exclusively about woman-born or woman-identified women. It can be about a larger cultural experience. And Jeanne d'Arc suffered because of transphobia which is always fundamentally misogynistic. I would argue it even makes sense to say her death involved transmisogyny in a very literal sense. The thing about transfeminism is that it can free us from the need to view personal identification with the role of "woman" as vital to feminism. Being a woman, in whatever sense, is certainly not unrelated to feminism, but one can be a feminist and have any kind of personal or communal relationship with womanhood. Anyone can be inspired by the story of Jeanne d'Arc and her bold defiance of both misogyny and transphobia, no matter how she may have personally understood her gender.
People have this idea where if a character or historical figure (or even currently living person) is anything but a woman, then any kind of Feminist Story falls apart. Especially when it comes to misogyny! People act like someone being a trans man means all their experiences with misogyny are like. gone? Or the story is now, essentially, about a cis man being mistaken for a woman, and thus women are Not Allowed to feel any connection at all.
All of this on top of the fun hypocrisy that is "we can't say this person/character is a trans man because they wouldn't have that concept, but we can say they are a cis woman because those are both the only options and ciswomanhood is a natural and universal concept we can apply regardless of any other context :)"
& with Mizu its like. you literally can see her as a GNC woman. people calling him a trans guy or transmasc or genderqueer or anything else are not taking away your experience of her as a GNC woman. Transmasculinity is not just Negative Womanhood, the idea that transmasculinity is something which saps away representation/power/dignity/identity/value from (cis) women is like ATM 101.
But the whole way people treat trans men and misogyny really annoys me, I guess because the assumption is that for women, having to dress as a man to get respect inspires anger at one's position in society, but trans men are incapable of having any complex feelings about that. Like trans men must fully enjoy not being able to have sex with others, or go to a doctor, and having to live in fear of being outed and facing the brunt of transphobia and misogyny, and trans men also couldn't possibly be angry about misogyny that they experienced, and also nonbinary people don't exist and no transmasculine person could possibly be anything but fully comfortable being seen as a cis man all the time. Sure, some trans men are perfectly happy passing as cis men, but like. there is more than one trans man. & ignoring all other transmasc experiences besides The One is a form of erasure, it just passes as something else because technically you are acknowledging A transmasc existence.
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Rachel Berenson is on the Villains Wiki and I’m mad
so I’m gonna go through this bullshit page and show how bullshit it is
Starting off, they call her an anti-heroine.
first off, I think that definition isn’t great, but also, Rachel has a LOT of heroic attributes. She’s brave, she’s strong, she clearly loves her friends, she’s determined, she’s loyal and she shows regret for her less heroic actions. Plus, in the more literal definition of anti-hero, (a character who works against the protagonist but isn’t the antagonist), she IS a protagonist. She never works against the animorphs except when she was cut in half and one half was all of her strength with none of her inhibition.
They call her a monster??? She’s a child. And while it’s true the war affected her psychologically, it did that to everyone else too. If you want a character that turned into a cruel irrational monster, look no further than her first cousin, Jake.
Like this is much worse than what Rachel has going on. (Not saying Jake is a villain btw I’m just calling out the hypocrisy).
The entry tries to characterize Rachel as some remorseless killing machine when it’s just not true. She constantly thinks about her actions. Honestly this page reads like she wrote it about herself because it lists all her insecurities as fact.
This is when she gets put back together, she has to come to terms with the fact that she is not pure killing machine, but not completely innocent either. And she’s scared!
This is my favorite Rachel introspection. The idea that she finds comfort in her hubris because it means she’s not alone is so important. She clearly hates herself for enjoying the fighting, but seeing that people throughout history also dealt with that makes her feel more human.
(Wrong use of whom, left out a was, terrible run on sentence)
(Before she dying?? Girl) But anyway, this blatant misrepresentation of Rachel’s conversation with the Ellimist is wild. It frames the conversation as if Rachel was mauled and the Ellimist came in to call her a mistake. That’s not what happens. He does say he never intended Rachel to be an animorph, but she had proven herself invaluable to the team. Then, he tells her something that invalidates this whole page, I’m guessing why they didn’t mention it.
“You were brave. You were strong. You were good.” It serves as a moment of relief, making Rachel know that her insecurities were wrong and that she was a good person, despite her actions. She dies with that knowledge, providing her with a sense of closure that’s really good narratively, and brought tears to my eyes.
Marco, albeit reluctant originally, enjoyed the war. Jake towards the end of the series definitely enjoyed escalating the war. Ax, with his authoritarian propaganda against yeerks ingrained in his mind enjoyed the war and even suggested using harsher tactics on yeerks several times. Rachel did enjoy fighting, yes, but it was always a topic for her self reflection. Her love for fighting was her big flaw she had to work through narratively. It makes no sense to use that as justification to call her a villain.
Anyway- have some of my favorite Rachel moments I didn’t already include
Her awesome shopping logic- she would never call it “girl math”
Love her aside about Cassie and Jake bc we know Cassie was insecure and thought Jake wouldn’t like her bc she’s Black, so it’s nice to see her defending it even to Tobias.
On that topic, I love this interaction. (Obvi the kind of dated “colorblind” thing isn’t great now but it’s the 90s so it’s how they would talk about it) but Rachel is so quick to assure Cassie that her fears are unfounded, but in a nice and comforting way that doesn’t invalidate Cassie’s feelings.
Just some funnies
#rachel animorphs#uh oh really long post#whoops#i just have a lot of feelings about her#Animorphs#p-145e
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Another year, another absurd amount of books read (296, because if I wasn't reading or writing this year, my brain was on fire). I was asked again for my top books of the year, so here we go: 2023's top 10, in no particular order.
This was the first book I read of the year--literally, vacated the hangout with my wife and sibling-in-laws to sit on their couch upstairs and eat through it. Do you love The Fall of the House of Usher, but wish for a nonbinary protagonist and a lot more mushrooms? This is the book for you! (T. Kingfisher is fucking rad, I made a concerted effort to only list ONE of her books on here, but honorable mention goes to The Twisted Ones for fucking me upppp.)
A gay, post-apocolyptic Pinocchio retelling involving copious robots, found family elements, and a cool-ass treehouse. Klune always hits for me with his unrepentant queer family dynamics and sense of humor. Honorable mention to the first two in the Green Creek series (although that's got a lot more...adult elements in among the werewolves, you've been warned).
I thiiiink I found this through The Homo Schedule podcast (PSA: if you missed out on Jasmin Savoy Brown and Liv Hewson doing a podcast together, now you know better), and it wrecked my shit. Tons of trigger warnings, as this is a memoir about abuse within a queer relationship, but it's so beautifully written. I personally suggest listening to the audiobook first, then standing anxiously behind someone at a book warehouse sale, hoping they'll set down the only paperback copy so you can swipe it.
A fantastical-historical reimagining in which the KKK is filled with literal monsters, and Black women are resistance fighters armed to take them out. Visceral and intense, and truly an excellent horror story.
Just. Such a soft time travel story about a daughter and her father and cherishing the time you get with loved ones. I was thoroughly unprepared for how lovely I found this one. It's very kind.
Spooky house, take-no-shit redhead, protective sibling elements, bisexual recluse with a sword who really just needs a nap. I haven't found a Harrow book yet I haven't slapped five stars on. She's so good at character and atmosphere, and I'm always surprised at how fast her stories race by.
The whole Daevabad trilogy (of which this is the first book) is just magical. A girl from the mortal world finds herself embroiled with the centuries-long prejudices and wars of djinn in a fantastical city. It's one of the rare stories of its kind that does have a love triangle, but doesn't feel like a love triangle; it's far less interested in the insufferable "who gets picked" than it is in the actual horrors these people are both perpetrating and coping with. It's an intoxicating ride.
Fuck You, TERFS: the book. Given that fact, there's obviously quite a lot of transphobia to deal with, but it's very clear that those people are wrong, and it's a super-engaging (and super-oh-god-what-comes-next) witchy time populated with queer, protective, interesting characters I'm excited to see again in the follow-up.
Have you ever wanted a haunted house story with visceral imagery and a rather lovely twist? Gailey has you covered. As much as I enjoyed The Echo Wife, I think I actually loved this one more, and it makes me so excited to see what else they've got up their sleeve.
One of my final reads for the year, when I was just churning through hardcovers at the speed of sound. I love this book. I recognize it won't be for everyone, but it takes so much of what I love about IT (one of my all-time favorite books, despite its flaws) and twists it through the lens of an author who escaped the Mormon church. It's horrific, it's fantastically abstract in places, it explores childhood and memory, imagination and abuse, and almost every character is queer. It's a great "I simply cannot sleep until I've finished" read.
#long post#book recs#t kingfisher#tj klune#carmen maria machado#p djeli clark#emma straub#alix e harrow#s.a. chakraborty#juno dawson#sarah gailey#kiersten white#plenty of others could go on this list as well but i figured i'd keep it to ten this time around#still can't believe i read just shy of 300 books in a year#bonus shoutout to the animorphs series all of which is out on audiobook now (the main books anyway)#and which honestly really do hold up well
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