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zorkaya-moved · 1 year ago

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" you are always on about helping me," for someone whose voice usually comes in a subtle, warming tone, it has taken the turn for something more heated today as their debate, nay, argument had come to blossom as a result of long nights and dreadful projects. in the aftermath of the disagreement, kaveh will find himself in a pit of embarrassment and guilt for having stood his ground, but he couldn't accept it. he wouldn't accept it.

" to say that it's pride is only a portion of it, but i have never had to rely on anyone in my life --- i couldn't. there was simply no room for me to rely on anyone, let alone ask for it and --- that's why i can't stand by and simply allow you to help me, when you clearly do not wish me to help you in return. are we not equals ? do we not share a mutual form for respect, do you think less of me because you see yourself in a position to protect me and support me ? because i won't have you in such a position, zarina. "

it's not anger , per say , simply frustration. he is frustrated with how she puts up a mighty act of a stable, strong woman, for while she is ( archons know she is, she is so strong, and kaveh looks up to her in so many ways / had he been one for prayer, her feet would be the ones he'd find himself bowing to in seek of grace ) she remains as human as him at the end of the day. the pain and hurt he felt certainly were no strangers to her. does she not think he feels the way her face tends to drop the second he turns, or notice how her thoughts wander in the corner of his eyes when he find himself occupied by the desk ?

" let me look after you the way you look after me. let me take care of you the way you take care of me --- for it seems too long ago since anyone did the same for you. " crumbling in his stance ( is my love not enough for you ? ), the heated tone has come to falter in favor for a softer and honest one, as hands seek out to her cheeks, pleading to hold her tenderly in his grasp. " you are my life , zarina. how do you expect me to allow you to be my foundation when you refuse to accept it from me in return?"

@avaere

Their argument breaks out and nothing feels real for the first second. They’ve never argued like this before, it’s never come to this. It’s unusual for the architect to look at her like this and speak to her like this. It confuses her, it makes her wonder, and it makes her question exactly what brought this out. And the more words leave Kaveh’s mouth, the more confused and puzzled she becomes. It doesn’t make sense. It simply doesn’t make sense to her. Is he… not happy? Is he upset that she offers her support? Is he upset that she wants to keep him safe? It doesn’t seem logical nor does it seem like something he should be so frustrated over. The questions circle in her head and Zarina tries to search for an answer, but instead she’s met with a wall. She slams into it mentally as Kaveh keeps talking.

—That's why I can't stand by and simply allow you to help me, when you clearly do not wish me to help you in return. Are we not equals?—

“We are…” Sokolova whispers to his question, still finding herself at a loss for words simply because she cannot fathom the reasoning for his upsetness, frustration, and fiery anger. It makes no sense for him to be hurt in her mind.

—Do we not share a mutual form for respect, do you think less of me because you see yourself in a position to protect me and support me?—

What are you talking about? Zarina asks internally, eyes empty and hollow at those words. Suddenly, his words echo in her head and she can’t find the will in herself to really suppress them. To her, everything he says right now simply doesn’t fit in her understanding. Is she not supposed to help him? Is this not proof of her love? Is this not enough for him to understand how much he means to her? Is this now what love is supposed to be about?

Finally, Zarina isn’t weak to keep those she loves unprotected. She gained everything she needed to keep these important people safe. She has power, she has influence, she has money, she has it all. She has information on each and every important person in almost all of Teyvat. She has customers and clients who are of noble birth and who would beg for her to take a look at their cases. She has it all to ensure those she loves have a comfortable life.

Because she, a woman who lacks any humanity behind her void gaze, can only feel human while being with them. They keep her a person. They keep her away from the numbness, void and hollowness. They keep her away from losing the joys and colors. They are her colors. Kaveh is her Sun and the person she wants to keep happy the most.

But…

—Because I won't have you in such a position, Zarina.—

…I’m strong enough to be in that position, am I not? Why don’t you just let me do it?

She isn't weak. She isn’t weak anymore to have others fuss over her. She doesn’t have anyone to worry over her and try to keep her from harm’s way. Now she can take care of herself, she can protect others like she always wanted. There won’t be laughs of men cruelly kicking her and calling her a little princess, there won’t be Victor hurt while trying to protect her, there won’t be Aleksey who they fret over as her parents are gone, and there won’t be any other people they’d be indebted to who can use them for their own ridiculous schemes.

No, she’s climbing to the top and it means she won’t have anyone look at her or her family the wrong way. She can tear apart anyone who dares to mistreat her or her family. She has everything to keep herself occupied, interested, away from the deafening silence and frigidness.

Ah, but that’s not it. That’s not what Kaveh says and that’s where the dissonance happens. Her past clashes against her present.

Why do you look at me like Victor did? I’m stronger now. I can protect you. I won’t be hurt anymore. There’s no need to worry, no need to try and protect me, I’m fine. I’m…

—Let me take care of you the way you take care of me --- for it seems too long ago since anyone did the same for you.—

His tone crumbles and she can see him reaching out. After all, she had no second to input any of her words into this conversation. His stream of words hit her a bit harder than she’d ever expected. It makes her confused, all too confused and lost.

This means that she hasn't been successful or what does it mean? It makes her think of Victor who’s been trying to take care of her when she was rescued. It makes her think of how when she came to Sumeru, she was looked down on by Scholars and those who were against Snezhnaya. Now they love or hate her, seeking her out despite pride and prejudice because they know she’s stronger. Isn’t it fun to see those people crawl to her?

It makes her think of her selfishness, her indulgence, her sick satisfaction with reaching the top and watching people who underestimated her crumble before her feet. But then it all dissipates, she’s grown bored and sought out more. Like a ravenous beast in the body of a beauty. All hedonistic indulgences fade with time aside from sex and planning. The long-standing plans hold her interest for a little while longer until she’s left disappointed or satisfied for a medium period of time. It all fades, but not the warmth she feels when she’s with those she loves. Not with Victor, Aleksey, Kaveh… Not with them. Not with him.

Oh, but Kaveh reaching out to her both emotionally and physically almost makes her feel fear. Almost, if not for her control over the internal state. It’s a titanium hold, but when his hands touch her cheeks, Sokolova feels something inside start to crack. The whispers in her mind say over and over again how he’d find her revolting, tyrannical, and cruel. He doesn’t know how little care for the world and its riches she has.

She’s always lived selfishly, so giving to her loved ones feels like what she can do. After acquiring everything because her selfish self wanted to see how far she’d be able to reach, this development seems to be… baffling.

His touch and his last words bring her out of that stupor. Still, confused and puzzled over these confessions within the argument, she feels at a loss. Emotions aren’t her strongest forte. Nay, genuine emotions aren’t her strongest forte. Zarina knows how to use them, manipulate them, and twirls them for her own benefit, but right now? It’s not about manipulation and malice. It’s not about shadows and darkness. It’s not about survival. It’s about… love, trust, and communication.

Everything she wanted to protect since childhood yet never surrounded herself with until return home or when Kaveh was by her side.

“What do you mean you don’t help me with anything?” She suddenly asks, her voice coming out genuinely puzzled but her eyes… Her eyes are bleak and cloudy, no, they’re hollow and empty when she begins. His hands against her cheeks feel so hot, her own body feels so cold. Is it because of her vision or is it because she remembered everything from that past? She doesn’t understand him, or does he not get the amount of things he does for her without knowing? “You always do. You’re the only one here who does.”

No one in Sumeru matters. No one in several regions matters aside from Snezhnaya where her brothers stay. Kaveh doesn’t know. He doesn’t know the ‘survival of the fittest’ rule she lives by, rules by, orders by.

Zarina brings her left hand up, touching his hand but she doesn’t yet grasp it. Her fingertips grave over the fabric covering his wrist. She worries that if she grasps it, she’ll break it. Zarina recalls her first hunt in the snowy plains of Snezhnaya. She doesn’t want to break him.

“You make the nightmares go away. You make me feel safer than I’ve ever felt since…” The agonizing pain, the loud screams, the laughter of those who had control. “...since I was hurt,” Sokolova looks away for a moment, her words feel like they’re spilling out as if in desperation to get him to hear, to understand, to give him enough to have an idea but not dive into details (not yet). “You indulge me, you give me your time. There’s no silence, no hollowness, no void. You make me feel…”

Clarity returns to her golden eyes. The silverette takes a second to breathe, finally letting her fingers wrap around his wrist (tenderly, carefully). Her shoulders drop, her expression is one of light exhaustion and still flickers of bewilderment.

“You make me feel human.”

It must be so strange to hear, isn’t it? To feel human. Isn’t she almost the most beloved in all Sumeru for her scholarly achievements, for her charismatic nature, for her connections and for her being the strongest candidate for the Amurta Sage? And yet, Zarina knows better than anyone that those achievements are not done for the sake of gratitude or betterment of the world. It’s selfish, it’s ambitious, it’s all out of boredom and pettiness.

“You never ask for anything. I have power, I have money, I have connections, I have it all, but you never ask for anything,” she starts off. “You are my equal, if you were not…” She lets out a soft chuckle, but it’s sharp and cold. “...I wouldn’t fall for you, love you, treasure you, want to give you as much as I can. If you were not my equal, you’d be lost in the sea of faces I meet.”

Golden eyes return to look at him, but she doesn’t smile nor show any emotion. If anything, she’s stone cold, but not guarded. She doesn’t hide, but there’s no bright light in her gaze and in her behavior.

“Do you… really think that I��ve reached all of what I have today through honored and honest work, Kaveh?” She gives his hand a gentle squeeze, but her golden eyes are growing colder the more she thinks about what she’s done… and how she feels no guilt or remorse or regret over everything. The people’s screams, the Abyssals’ pleas for mercy, the blood, the merciless ends, the survival. “Do you really think that I don’t see you as my equal? If I didn’t care about you or saw you as my equal, you would’ve never even gotten a glimpse of who I am. Like everyone else in Teyvat.”

A hard hitting sentence, isn’t it? Especially said with that razor-sharp gaze and a voice that got deeper as if she growled it out. But instead of showing the same cold-hearted ferocity, she presses her lips together and looks away from him as if ashamed. It’s not that she’s ashamed of who she is, but she is unsure of how much more she can say.

“I… don’t know how to let others care for me,” she admits. “I don’t know how to stop protecting who I care about. And I don’t think… You’ll look at me the same if you learned the things I have to do to survive…” But also because when you’re not here, the boredom and silence come back in full force and I return to those frigid days. “What if the person you love is only kind to you, Kaveh? Will you hate me for it?”

There’s a glimpse of cracks, of a weight no one ever expects someone to carry. But she doesn’t mind that. If it means she’s indulged and her family is protected, it means nothing. Is she really human when she does not feel any remorse for all the things she’s done? Perhaps, the only remorse and sadness comes when it comes to Kaveh. What if he fell in love with a phantom? What if her sharper and crueler sides will scare him away? There’s no fixing that. It’s simply who she is.

“I don’t understand you.” Her lips are pressed together in frustration. “I don’t understand what you mean by taking care of me more than you already do. I don’t understand what you want from me right now. All these riches, all these connections, all of what I have… They are nothing compared to what you’ve given me. You taught me that I can love, I can experience love, I can feel it.” She brings her other hand up to touch his, but then pries his hands away from her face to hold them instead. “And yes, it doesn’t make the world better and it doesn’t make colors seem brighter, but it settles me down. It makes me… think that a normal life isn’t out of the question for me.”

Then, Zarina laughs. But it’s hollow and bitter and feels like shattering.

“To accept your help, I must give up control… of everything I am. And if I do,” she lets out a soft exhale. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to pick myself up if you reject me.”

Finally, she smiles but that smile is soft and careful. Not sharp, not hollow, not cold. It’s more familiar to him. It’s more genuine, it’s as genuine as she can muster when her mind remembers everything she does behind his back to remain on top. She cannot simply end everything she rules over, it’s already too late. Too many people want her head, too many people rely on her, too many people have their eyes on her, too many people wait for her word like their only prayer.

“You are my lifeline, Kaveh. You already give me so much, I want to…” She gives his hands a squeeze, gaining up courage to say the next words. He’s more important to her than everything she’s acquired. She’s lived her life selfishly already. “But alright. I don’t yet understand, and that’s why… Can you teach me… how to let you care for me in a way you meant?” Without this iron control over everything. As she holds his hands in her own, she bends down to press her forehead against his knuckles. A beast offering its leash to another, she hopes he won’t turn away the more she opens up. “But please, I’m begging you, give me time to tell you everything. My life belongs to you, you are my heart. I still don’t understand, I probably will struggle, but be my guide here. So please,” she straightens up and gives him another small smile. She’s trying. It’s obvious. She’s trying against everything she’s been taught by life, by experience, by struggle and torturous existence. But for him? She’s trying. It’s tense, but she’s trying. “Be a patient teacher with me. I’ve never… been protected… and I haven’t been cared for since my childhood.”

#idk how fucking long this is #but wow kaveh made her try #because she treasures him the most #and thats why she will TRY #she feels like if she doesnt she'll lose him #and she doesnt waant to #but also feels like she'll lose him if he learns like a third of her life/her truth #so in her eyes it's a lose/lose situation but she'd regret not to letting him hear and learn rather than reject his attempt #she still wants to bask in his warmth and properly prepare herself if he does reject her at the end #like she's ... she thinks he's so bright and so intelligent and so fucking perfect #but she knows (logically) that she's one of THE worst people to live in teyvat. factually.#not from self-hatred. but from comparing herself to those who live.#but she's still confused. she doesn't get what he means. so shes asking him to teach her what he means #and let her... learn. and see if it's possible. to let go.#kaveh has a VERY high possibility of actually reversing the whole story quest from happening in genshin tbqh #and i am geting so emotional over it #like it can go so right but it can also go so fucking wrong #and im screaming #❄ ― IN CHARACTER. ╱ you breathe by the sun，i breathe by the moon.#avaere #﹙kaveh | avaere﹚ ♥ | ― i'll enter the shadows to protect your light. ❞

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lesbienneanarchiste · 2 years ago

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I'm basically an influencer now bc after 2.5 years of watching me use mine, my mom has finally started a book/reading journal 💅

#she's enjoying it so far so thats nice!#i maintain that keeping some kind of log of your feelings abt the books you read beyond a star rating is a valuable practice #i dont even rate my books in my journal and its nice looking back and not having my memories of them pinned down to a number #i mean. i do still star rate them on 3 different apps. but my POINT IS #reviewing something even (or especially) if youre the only one who will see it helps you engage with the text on a deeper level #which doesnt mean all my reviews are long or laborious like literally sometimes it's just 'wow! hated that ❌' and i move on #but that tells me something when i flip back to it months or years later and its really interesting #its the same w annotating #there's a page early on in my copy of fellowship of the ring where i went on a righteously angry rant #and literally the next year i wrote 'idk what tf i was so mad abt' next to it #theres a piece of me in there! it was the truth in the moment! thats important to see sometimes!#anyway its late and im tedtalking but like. if you ever read books please jot down some notes somewhere when you finish them even in an app #disgruntled octopus

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totallyblooktacular · 2 years ago

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Heh, thank the old Spider Riders blog for that haha. Not a lot of folks remember the, even up here in Canada, where we dubbed it and aired it constantly; though everyone remembers the old game, which people are trying to revive. I've been revamping my own fic on AO3 for a while now, and I think I'm the only person currently writing new content for the show both there and on FFNet lol.

some of this feels a little vague so im worried im not thinking of the same things youre actually referencing, but i still definitely agree.

its a shame not very many people made their own dedicated blogs for it here (i only know like 2 ?) but theyre definitely very helpful for general access to content (official and otherwise), especially when pretty much anything of substance about it is so obscure, so i would say i do owe a lot to at least the one that was kept up here until.. i think just right after i started getting more into it myself, coincidentally enough lol

nice to be able to hear from a fic writer too though!! and that ur still kicking, as well. i havent read a majority of the ones out there, but i’ve been trying to stay pretty on top of some more recent ones being updated, so i think ive been reading it too, good job there!

#asks #by vague i just mean like. am i thinking of the same blog? the same fic? who knows!! but im like 90% theres really only like 1 option #for each anyways so im hoping ive got it right..#always stuck in a difficult spot where SR is one of the few series im like really interested in being able to read fanfic for #but usually when i look at them i just cant get into their premises so i still dont engage with it much #theres 2 on ffn im up to date on though and then 1 thats also on ao3 which i assume is urs #and it is really good it feels pretty grounded and ive been excited to see where itll be going next #so good luck with that!! or if that Isnt yours then still good luck w/whatever your actual SR projects are #i have. um. several fanfic wips of my own for it to satiate the things id like to see people explore more #but im not a very good writer and its next to impossible to finish or even get them off the ground..#so mad respect that youve been successful there #ALSO if you have ever looked up spider riders on twitter u will find out that people definitely DO remember it #theres like 4-5 tweets on most days of ppl just repeating the catchphrase or being like ''wow this show ruled anyone remember it''#theres just no other thoughts beyond that and thats the unfortunate part that doesnt ultimately help it w recognition or community #sorry this is rambly i just do not get to talk abt like anything adjacent to it very much anymore and i still love it very very much..#so thanks for sending this in too!!!!

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stupidlyunhinged · 5 months ago

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uhm i went with love interest cuz i thought itd be fun n then got thriller soo like percentage wise how likely am i to die

AFTER VOTING, click here to see what genre you've landed in.

#does this mean i get to fuck the killer tho or #cuz if so #id do wonders in scream #if not mmmmm #im prolly not gonna make it #but likeeee idk itd still be fun so #no regerts #i also like only watch thrillers n horr shit with my sister cuz theyre too scary for me #which probably doesnt help my chances much of living till the end huh #fun fact!!#ive had ppl call me the side character for years n it fucked me up cuz my best friend said i wasnt even the main character in my own life #like oo i was so upset like wow okay thanks for telljng me i dont matter to anyone ever #part of bein the fat funny friend ig #but thats why i got like actually upset n forced myself to sit with this poll n not just go side character n THATS how i ended up with this #anyways thats kinda a not so fun fact but likeeee ehhhhh

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chisungie · 5 months ago

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#love love looooveee enst stories even if engstar only has stuff for me to reread !!#its still allo v fun and sweet bc its been a while! these charas r so dear to me 🥺💖#but THIS PROOFREADINGS STILLHORRENDOUS... come on... and ik its hard to get their diff talking styles across for some charas but COME ON #fan translations w less people (usually 1-3 ) people have been better edited for spelling/grammar mistakes #AND given indepth translation notes for certain tricky jpn phrases being translated like. come onn i know what quality translations looklik #also why do they just. miss out on punctuation at the ends of lines sometimes. like what? why would you not put smn there???#anyway complaining aside. well i am reading the older idol stories actually but icb these never got fixed...#ummmmm ill try to read the newer stuff in a bit!!#but kogyyy <33 rinne and meru <333 missed those dudes i will be reading more of ur eng stories soon!!!!!!!!!!!#also girl this shit is hard to play on pc like. its not bad but i. my brain doesnt comprehend left side vs right side.#i usually tap it as it comes down.. and my attention is on the last note i hit and if the next note is to the left of it i hit left.#to the right of it means i hit right but thats not always correct 😭😭#IM ALSO PJSK TRAINED RN SO I. I LET GO OF MY SLIDERS TOO EARLY 😭😭😭😭 SOB i have to play on mobile if i wanna play....#44597 #WOW what do u mean i just got back and did ONE ten pull and got the ttsm link click card im so 😭😭#i think i got kogas on uhhh. kr. funnily enough. but that was super long ago???? huh #i dont rmr how much i needed for that but wow. desire sensor real. i didnt want this i kinda wanted an offrate but hes pretty its ok LOL

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yoshistory · 9 months ago

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my former therapist told me "everything you are and become and will be is something learned; you cant be something if you didn't learn it somewhere. nothing is inherent about anyone, except for something genetic" and honestly it is still messing with me on some level

#like i knew this technically but it still doesnt feel right. something about that feels wrong to me #its for everything like. good and bad about a person #but it gives me this sense of wanting to go back and find the original. does that make sense #if everyone learns something somewhere .. who was the first to do it. and why did it happen that way #yknow what i mean? i imagine this progenitor of all things good and evil about a person #i think the answer to this question is: does that matter? and.. i dont know that it does #like .. can it be quantified? no. but thats the same for most everything thats personal qualia like that #maybe what matters is who YOU learned it from. and what happened to have that occur. and what it means to you #but i still dont like that interpretation of personhood. even if its like scientific and true and shit or whatever.#makes me feel mechanical and not in control of myself instead of someone who's organic and can make my own decisions about my life #but i mean like. i taught people stuff yknow. we all do. right. but like. idk. it makes me feel like im not my own person #and maybe its like. part of wanting to ''feel special''. but i dont like the limelight. i think im really an average joe #i just want to feel like i have control of myself and who i am. and thats why my name feels like its so important to me. yknow what i mean #like i have to think about it a lot. but when nothing about me is original or inherent .. then i feel like im like. nothing #but i guess its like throwing stones or something. not the first stone thrown right. not the first stone in this pond #not the first with this composite. and not the last #but someone threw you that day and you landed somewhere and you eroded this way and you tumbled that way. and you're you #you're like every apple that grows right. not the first on this tree or in that soils or by that farmer.#not the first apple grown under the sun. but you grew and someone eats you #not the first apple eaten by this person. but you got snacked on then and there. and thats what matters about it right.#like whats happening right now. what am i doing about it instead of trying to do something out of my control about the nature of being #wow. i made myself feel better. thanks for reading

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bugflies00 · 1 month ago

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i have so many thoughts about the tommy song/video and theyre a jumbled mess. i wouldnt call this an analysis this is just. most of my thoughts surrounding the video and what it shows about tommy

one of the things that stuck out to me (outside of how depressing and just like. is this guy okay) is something that ive always respected tommy for because he's always stuck with it and its his like. fervent conviction in people doing things theyre passionate about. thats always been one of the things he talks about all the time!!!

when AI started appearing he was talking about death of creativity, with the internet he's always talking about how the real tragedy is the algorithm killing people's passion by driving them with views and money, and even when he talks about youtube itself, and nowadays standup, its so full of passion.

and i think thats really important because it would be extremely easy for someone like tommy, who's in the process of maturing his online image from a very loud, immature and PASSIONATE persona, to make fun of it. it would be so easy to do like so many other creators and laugh at how "cringe" it was and make a quick cash/attention grab with a funny clip of him laughing at himself. but he never has. well don't get me wrong he's laughed at himself or old videos but it's always just. good natured taking the piss out of himself, it's never this like. mocking your younger self who was so excited to do what they did only because now its "cringe".

not only is he constantly giving that advice to other people (its been years of him replying, to any kid in his chat or donations asking advice on how to be a creator etc, "just go and do it if you love it!!"), he's coherent with how he applies it to himself. he realised he was making cash grab tiktok react vids and hated it so much he just stopped uploading for a while.

i dont know i just think there's something admirable about being able to still be sincere in a time where everything especially online has to be processed through a layer of irony. and its even funnier because he's more sincere THROUGH the irony i mean he's literally going into standup.

letting yourself create something that "means" something is fucking hard especially when half the internet still sees you as a kid who screams around. except the thing is that kid DID make stuff that mattered and that meant something because he was, in his own words, having fun.

i think thats what the format of the video was about too. i mean i think it was pretty clearly not a song thats meant to be streamed, its not purely music, its also a video because tommy is also first and foremost an editor who went to film college. its also not a "comedy" song like he's made some before, because those were all intentionally created to land as many jokes and make a big buzz— which doesnt mean they were bad! im philza is a contemporary lyrical masterpiece. but they had a specific purpose and it was to make people laugh and i think this video was completely like. opposite of what peoples expectations are of tommy. the "wow hes not a child anymore hes being mature🤓" reactions are the most obvious aspect of this (which, like, its been a while, get with the program).

i think the point of this was to make something that genuinely meant something but that was also like. as unpalatable to the algorithm and to the TommyInnit Viewer as possible. even now that he's gone into making quieter, more reflective videos, we've never had the flashing texts and the projector images and just all of that. hes always talking about how he hates the way the "youtube formula" has dictated the course of content and stolen all creativity for youtubers. its not meant to be a YouTube Video tm. its just meant to mean something to someone, and obviously process some sort of personal emotions, and i just think thats. yeah. yeah

i mean he even says so outright. "this needless, self indulgent spiral of self gratification" is pretty damn explicit. its not meant to be funny content its really a cry for help or for just. anything at all really

it was also a lot about perception, yknow the "entertainer" dilemma, "its all attention porn"... theres a layer of this point thats universal, everyone struggles with how they're perceived and i think any "artist" or "entertainer" figure can see themselves in it, but there's also a layer thats completely impermeable to most of us because it touches upon the sheer absurdity of a "youtuber". especially one of tommy's popularity. especially one who blew up so so fast so young. i honestly think its IMPOSSIBLE to process that. its about the ethics of having millions of people's time so readily available to you if you just press the right buttons to make the algorithm happy and then you've got them. im like 75% sure i remember him saying this on stream once, something like "your time is valuable" and if a fan didnt value him as an entertainer they should drop him.

and even here^ thats the saddest "lmao" ive seen in my life SORRY LOL but its really just. yeah im not gonna repeat myself it speaks for itself. perception and internet expectations and all that

one of the other images that stuck out to me was also this:

"yeah i know its too much like bo burnham but it wont be in a year though. in a year it will be like tom simons. just let me figure out what that means, ok?"

a lot of the video is about. influences and inspirations. the bo burnham references are so obvious he's poking at them, but i think he's raising a good point about the creativity that he's constantly praising. its never something that springs up on its own, its all about looking at others work and making it your own and feeding yourself with all those experiences and slowly, surely building your own way of doing things (tommyinnit "minecraft talent show" and "a tribute to dream smp" serial quackity + schlatt impersonator would know all about that) ->

and its daunting! its fucking scary to move away from that! which is also the main vibe i got from the video which, outside of his own issues with how he's perceived online, was the sort of existential dread that comes with actually creating. its one thing to preach you need to be passionate and create, its another to sit down and create something thats BY you. its a part of growing up! and we're literally seeing him do it live (well the bits that he chooses to show obviously)! thats also part of why i think tommy's so relatable to so many people is that he's so like. honest and real about what it's like to grow up, simple as that, and growing into yourself.

"this was everything to me" and using the picture of his younger self... man. theres obviously so much sadness underlying the whole thing but i think the nostalgia and melancholy in mourning being someone who was only inspired/excited by your interests and role models is universal. and obviously for tommy a lot of those influences turned out. well i think it was pretty damn clear who/what he was referring to here. ->

i don't think i need to go too in detail about that, especially cause a lot of the video was clearly a way to process his own personal emotions. especially with those next few images. i just hope he's okay and that god doubles his pain and gives it to mr beast to quote my friend bronzetomatoes. man.

of course he had to end with a funny clip about a hot anime girl and i think that kinda. sums it all up in a way. if that makes sense. at the end of the day its about the fact that he has to use humour to make the thing work when its out in the open, even when he tries not to and to be actually honest, but theres also the fact that hes literally a comedian and creating something "honest" IS through humor. its kindof a double edged sword

right well that was my jumbled mess of psychoanalysing tommyinnit i hope he is alright and all that because well that was. something

#tommyinnit #dsmp #mcyt #cc!tommy #alex.rambles.txt

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recitedemise · 8 months ago

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Gale knows it intimately, the appeal in losing yourself in endless work. He's leafed some novels and tomes, has given fierce chase to words and theories, and as the night lumbered on in its lonesome hours, had burnt through both oil and candlewax. In his tower, he'd become the sole, grave portrait of a ravenous obsession. It had balmed him meagerly, anchoring his mental in the comfort of books, but imagine if he hadn't. Imagine if he'd thought. Imagine had he sat there in the shadows and the dark, his folly in his bones and his guilt on his conscience, every memory hollering. And every doubt in him loud. Madness, he'd wager. A treacherous insanity. Their party's now gathered by a half-cobbled hearth, and he'd have shattered apart like that window to a chapel. Temple glass, he humors. Or cathedral panes.

Madness, they were spared.

But grief, they were not.

And as Gale gathers his belongings back into his bag, at least his, he knows, he wasn't made to ignore.

"Then by some stroke of luck, you'll be happy to know you're only expected to breathe. We can work up to laurel resting on another foul evening. For now, it would hardly kill you to do away with the semantics. That said, enough with the stalling," he urges. "And get on in."

Even here, the steam off the water clings along his neck. Gale works, hearing the rustling of clothes and the tell-tale ripple of her scalding dip. He clatters on about, back pointedly turned as all manner perfumes start waltzing in the air. However, even as he bumbles, vials click-clacking and stoppers popped in, it's yet the aching of her voice that lingers in his mind...and darkly, somberly, her still-veiled past.

Truthfully, he'd be one hell of a liar to even try at disinterest. Call it the scholar in him, but he boasts an unstoppable, unstemmable, and restless curiosity. Yet, far more than that by both seas and oceans is his unwithering fondness for this tight-lipped soul. It was not at all foreseen, this boldening camaraderie in a new-found friend. But, well, Gale himself is a lover, a man with both warmth and an unstoppable heart, and to hear her story would let him act as her pillar -- her bastion in the fury and tumultuous rain. He can see them still, the flash-crack-bang of that horrendous night. Gods, he had felt like her. There was viscera in his gums. But worse than that, he discerns, were the feelings that surfaced as the adrenaline waned. Hells, that heart-wrenching ache and that filleting regret...

The face of her sire. He recalls that, too.

Nightmarish, Gale thinks. Too haunting and soulless. He startles, tying up his pouch as Dronia's voice stirs like the canopies high up above. Blinking, he hadn't even realized he had held his breath. Oh. "I see," he begins, timbre so unbearably soft. "For what it's worth, I could hardly name a man more fortunate to have held your affections. Even with a thousand years, there'd have never been enough time to enjoy it by your side. Every second spent would have been another second desired." ...still, Gale well knows, he should have had more of it. More and more by several decades! Decades aplenty and tens of springs. Breathing, Gale gathers his words, lingering by the bramble where the rest of their companions are chattering in view. He knows his loves, had kissed and yearned and lost as she had. They'd hardly the same story, her grief a misfortune where he'd been a fool, but to know so keenly that your lover's escaped you... A wedding, she'd said. They could have been wed. Gale frowns, that spawn's red eyes again stark in his memory. He thinks of rubies, garnets, and disastrous greed "Well, you're not exactly a charity as far as I'm concerned. He won't take from you again, and I won't stand here and allow you to suffer a thief. For as much as you've lost, I'd hope you know you aren't fumbling alone. Should he ever find you again, we'll make that painfully clear." It's a daunting prospect, surely, to risk the life of her companions to Alden again--but then, what of it, he'd ask? He's not a man to just bolt. They've all their journeys, every one of them dangerous, and for better or for worse, she's Gale to the most disastrous of ends. Huffing, Gale summons a mage hand and nudges forward.

"It is lavender," he tuts, the spectral thing holding his pouch for her. "Though should you have a hankering for something else, feel free to peruse. Admittedly, I'm finding myself tempted to get in there myself. Waste anymore time, and I'll beat you to it. Otherwise, I'm sure shoving you in with thunderwave would do you wonders."

She thinks the worst of it is that she's never even allowed herself the chance to grieve. When her parents died of illness, there was time to process it, she went back to work almost immediately, but she allowed herself the grace to grieve, to break down and cry. But when Caius died, when every family and neighbor she had grown up with, when all the rest of her adventuring party, had been brutally and viciously killed, she had no chance to grieve. She had nothing but Jalen's kindness and a mission to avenge them. But not grief, not the time to properly grieve. She carried their names in her heart like a makeshift graveyard, their souls weighing down mighty shoulders enough that sometimes even her drawing arm trembles. And even if her turning didn't fully kick in until they were in these Shadow Cursed Lands, she had felt a wrongness in her since she woke that morning among the wreckage.

Only now did she have a name for it.

Everyone here carried something with them, they were all doomed in some awful way, weren't they? It couldn't have just been fate that they all converged. They had to become each others' strength. A shoulder to lean on when they could no longer stand. And while all of them had different struggles, there was overlap. Astarion and Gale both understood her hunger in their own ways, in a strange way, it is nice not to be alone in that, even if she wouldn't wish it on anyone.

They were all in this together.

"I know, I know, but please, I would never try to insult you on purpose. It's not in my nature." She barely even had an insult to throw at their enemies. Threats, sure, but not insults. She was no bard, she would save the witty insults for her funnier friends. Astarion and Karlach seemed quite good at it. Shadowheart as well. Her eyes wander the camp, maybe out of fear that they were talking about her, about her fall from grace. And yet none seem afraid of her, more worried than anything. And yet sharp as her senses now be, she can't quite focus on anything they're saying, a din of voices muddling together to an incomprehensible clutter of noise. "I have to. It's all I know, Gale. I've rarely rested on my laurels. Especially now, especially with so much at stake." But he's read her like some dusty old tome. He's right. She will work herself to the bone and then down to the marrow until she can go no deeper. Anything to get away from her own problems.

Maybe she's a coward when it comes to reflecting on herself. Dealing with everyone else's problems is easier, she can remove herself from her own problems until they are distant thoughts. And yet, every so often her problems force their way to the surface, the visages of death dancing behind her eyelids whenever she closed them, sinking their fangs into her throat and tearing until the entire thing is in shreds. One day, perhaps she will reveal the full extent of the story, beyond the horrific visions. All everyone knew of her previously was the quaint life she lived out in the countryside, learning to hunt alongside her father, a life truly lived off the land in a quiet village. Something so painfully normal and modest. Were a bard recalling their tales at the beginning, little mind would be paid to her story, she suspects. Never mind that her family were known for centuries to be some of the most renowned spider hunters in Faerun. But they all had something remarkable about them, after all. They were all survivors of something, bound together in their turmoil. "Good. I don't think I could bear to part with any of you any time soon." There is a dread in knowing that by the time this is over, she may not see most of them for some time, if ever again.

As Dronia eyes the heated bath, she removes her leather armor until she is in something far more suited for the warm bath, something far less likely to shrink under the heat. "One day, maybe I will. I haven't allowed myself a chance to grieve, no sooner did I reach the city was I thrown into all this, I've been so busy trying to make sure we survive that..." She draws in a deep breath, her voice shaking, "I didn't keep all my heart though. Part of it died that night. The man you saw... his name was Caius, he was my fiance. We were to be wed two weeks after that night. I would..." she doesn't finish the thought. She's here now, nothing would ever bring him back, her mind flits back to Mayrina and how when they got the wand and she asked her to bring Connor back, she excused herself. It was too much, the first crack showing. She snaps herself back to the present. "You're too kind to me, Gale." The scents of the oils and soaps manage to override the blood that still clung so stubbornly to her face. "Do I smell lavender in there?"

#THCDOOMED #OH Dronia... Just never giving herself time to grieve.#well i guess life didnt give her that option #out of the frying pan and into the fire so they say #but like...gale has to make it pointedlt clear that she CAN rest #if she just LETS herself #he knows it might take time. he knows she may need to work up to 'resting on her laurels'#but it isnt like she's alone. it isn't like she has to shoulder everything herself #like im sure shell say that of gale or anyone else..and yet?!?she doesnt offer herself the same charity?#kindness?#gale sees that. very starkly. but he gets it. everyone has a pace to work on #and dronia sharing bits of her past? ooft. gale is so sad. like. wow. you...were going to get married?#like he knows what its like to lose a love. he fucked up. but dronia was just #she had alden's decision thrust upon her #and thats so...gale (angry and defiant)#like how dare he make that choice for her?#for her and caius? gale is gonna start FIREBALL FIREBALL FIREBALL #But im sure dronia had her own fear of being by this group should alden ever stumble on her again #i like that dronia might have fear of seeing alden and putting her friends in danger #whereas at this point astarion WANTS to out them in danger if it means saving his own skin #...2 very different flavor of sanguine companions here #also as an aside? dronia (still covered(#gale: (back pointedly turned the whole time)...gentleman...

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obscure-entity · 1 year ago

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your shading is AMAZING specially when its conveying organic forms..... do you have any tips for people who dont know wrf going on (with shading)

ok so HI. hi. my old tutorial pisses me off so i will make a new one

i made a guy whose sole purpose is to be shaded so dont worry he likes it. and his name. his name will be mr. Boob. mr boob does not have to be blue

theres probably way better explanations of how to do it but unfortunately trying to "emulate" shading does ask you to somewhat understand ur character in a 3d way. like what would the 2d shape be if you "sliced" it? mr boob is made of so many circles. his tail also does a kind of weird perspective foreshortening thing because its pointing at you. is this being conveyed

you obviuously dont have to draw a horrendous grid on your characters skin to do this . BUT it helps you put down (or at least envision) the lines of the form shading :

dont worry about cast shadows or the shading color because this is FORM SHADOW time only. think about what surfaces of the character are obviously facing away from the light source and put down the "separation line" of the shading based on that. thr most important thing is that youre trying to separate light from dark

im going to pick the first one for cast shadows bc it will be the most obvious to me

ok so. his ears and snout are blocking other surfaces of his body from the light, which means a shadow is cast!!!! bam. i saw someone describe cast shadows as what the light's pov "can't see." his entire body is putting down a cast shadow on the ground too

im impatient so i blended the form shadows now. its usually the easiest to just NOT blend cast shadows as a way of conveying that they are still cast shadows. but you can still blend them if you want to show "distance" between the obstruction and the surface its blocking. but its just a way of saying form and cast shadows should not be treated the same even if their softness coincides

im going to lump reflection and ambient light together because theyre like. similar. reflections dont just happen in mirrors

since the sky is blue, making the ambient lighting, i tinged mr. boobs existing shadow to be a bit blue. (*this is kind of important because it can help you decide a shading color, which should USUALLY be based on the environment) (unless your character is just in the transparent void then it doesnt matter)

since the ground is pink, i made pink light bounce off of him. pointed and labelled. i dont rlly know how to go more in depth than that

contact shadows are literally shadows formed from direct-touching contact. very little light can reach in there, even from how reflections disperse, which means youre free to use the darkest color available (black). in this case mr. boob is making contact with the floor. because he is sitting on the floor.

i touched him up a bit and wow!!!!!!!!!! look at mr. boob!!! he is so beautifully sculpted.

and one more thing

thats right. i made mr boob PINK. hes fucking ruined now. just kidding i would never say that to him

what im trying to convey here (its the easiest with really light colors) is a transitional color. this can also show subsurface scattering depending on how you use it which is fun to look at. the mistake i made on my last tutorial was "Just pick a warm saturated color!" which is really wrong in examples like Blue mr boob. because it would be weird to use a warm color to transition from blue to blue.

if you have a character that isn't bright enough then obviously the shadows wont be as visible. its BEST to bring more attention to highlights and reflections to reveal the form a bit. they play the biggest role with darker colors

thats all i can think of. fun things to look up:

structuralization + contour lines + foreshortening etc. 3d lingo

form shadows

cast shadows

ambient light

contact shadows

subsurface scattering

im also just speaking out of my ass otherwise. i didnt look up any of these terms until the end now im inferring and hoping i got them right

and remember every time you shade mr boob will be rooting for you

#art tutorial #shading #lighting #long post

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okthatsgreat · 10 months ago

Text

did anybody see the newest episode of danganronpa 52 lollllllll

#there is something deeply wrong with team dr im afraid #A DEATH SO SOON JESUSSSSSS where was the ult cardiologist at......... #dr52 liveblog #dr52 spoilers #lee chat

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🐻 dangronper Follow

Gonna try getting into the new season lol, I stopped watching at season 37. No spoilers please

🐻 dangronper Follow

Okay wow a lot has changed! Everything is so high tech now??? I kinda miss when they just kept it more simple and had them all locked in a school ngl but maybe thats just me liking season 1 lol. Im really liking Jiro so far Im hoping he at least makes it to chapter 3 because I really wanna know more about that guy

🐻 dangronper Follow

You've gotta be kidding.

#CHAPTER ONE? HE DIED CHAPTER ONE? #THIS IS WHY I HATE ALL OF THE NEW SEASONS SO FUCKIGN BAD #THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT SHOCK VALUE AND THEY DONT CARE ABOUT STORY #THAT DEATH MAKES NO SENSE THERE ARE YOU ACTUALLY JOKING #Im logging off.

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💀 youvegotthatrite Following

12,433 notes

🫖 nagitosleftleg Follow

just a reminder that wishing death on any of the danganronpa writers makes you a terrible person and all of your favorite danganronpa characters hate you if you do that! 🤗 this is danganronpa so a lot of them will die 🤗 that doesnt mean you get to be a dickhead to team dr 🤗 get over it! 🤗

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

oh my god can anybody in this fandom just be normal and not use this weird passive aggressive tone for every single post. the writers do not give less of a fuck and neither do the actors theyre all dealing with their own shit

#i hate this fandom istg. and stop calling them characters the flashback light doesnt make them entirely fake #theyre still actual people #with feelings #danganronpa 52

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🍀luckyguy Follow

this is NOT what ultimate hope makoto naegi would have wanted

#dr52 spoilers #lucky student killed first chapter <;/3 #shut up you [txt]

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🔧 sorryiwasbornstupid Follow

kazuichi sighted in the new post-season promo video he looks so g.ood .... . id let him do anything to me

🌸 neverminded Following

@kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial @kazuichisodaofficial

🔧 sorryiwasbornstupid Follow

HELLO?

34 notes

🔪 danganronpa Following

Puhuhu! New episode of DANGANRONPA 52 out TODAY at 1pm JST! Make sure to bring your popcorn and your bagels, this episode sure gets.... despairful 👀You won't wanna miss it!

🍀luckyguy Follow

🔱 ultscubafan Follow

🎆 chickencoopexplosion Follow

🫖 nagitosleftleg Follow

🎸 lightmusicplayer Following

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🍳 naeggieggin Follow

can early season purists please get their heads out of nagito komaedas ass. he does not want to fuck you

106 notes

🎞️ kirigiririririri Follow

Waiittttt Jiro is so cute actually XD He keeps tripping over his shoelaces in the background of scenes LOL he's so smol ..............

🎞️ kirigiririririri Follow

I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF

#he's DEAD?????????????????????????????????

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🍳 naeggieggin Follow

keep in mind the danganronpa actors are still real people and they can see all of you thirsting over them ok. please be normal. just because they went through the effects of the flashback light doesnt mean its ok to be a fucking weirdo to hajime whenever he walks outside

🧊 kokoroicebox Follow

They're celebrities. People are going to find celebrities attractive, especially if these are people they see on screens and billboards every day. If you pick up the nearest magazine you find you're probably going to find Junko Enoshima in it. And maybe you should consider that those "weirdos" who are walking up to Hajime are simply fans that want to greet him. We've watched these people fight through hell, cry, laugh, and find hope along the way. Of course we are going to get attached to them, especially to those of us who have been keeping up with them for a long time now. You're basically asking a bunch of teenagers to close their eyes and pretend their favorite media doesn't exist.

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

i literally did not say that

🌀 cageofdeath Follow

have you maybe ever considered that maybe some people get hyperfixations??

🍳 naeggieggin Follow

oh my fucking god.

🎸 lightmusicplayer Following

anybody in this thread smoke weed

1,034 notes

🍊 hinataorangejuice Follow

OKKKKK WAIT WHY IS RANTARO KINDA 👀👀👀

#the way he got so serious while investigating.............. #wasnt a huge fan of him at the start but he's growing on me lowkey #dr52 #danganronpa 52 #dr52 #orange speaks!

29 notes

💀 youvegotthatrite Following

JIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#FUFUUUCUCKKCKCCKKKCKKCKC I REALLY LIEKD HIM!!!3!@!#(!# #FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK #ORUUGH WHY COULDNT HAVE BEEN MOMO #dr52 lb

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🍧minimarruuuu Follow

no chapter 1 death is ever gonna beat sayaka imo #girl

#it just really started the series off so well and no other chapter 1 victim has impressed me tbh #ugh but idk shes kinda annoying now with all of her interviewssss like girl its ok to not smile sometimes lmfao #sayaka maizono #dr52 critical #maru.txt

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🎸 lightmusicplayer Following

guy ists ok hes not actually dead hes just sleeping guys

#guys #danganronpa 52 #danganronpa 52 spoilers #<- ??? just in case

🔍 kirigiri Following

🍊 hinataorangejuice Follow

ok queen speak your truth i guess

🌸 neverminded Following

THIS MIGHT BE A CLUE THIS MGIHT BE A CLUE TO JIROS KILLER IM LOOKIGNGGGGG SO HARD AT AKEMI RIGHT NOW

🎆 chickencoopexplosion Follow

i think she might have just accidentally posted a draft lol

🌸 neverminded Following

I dont know............. team dr has done this before where they leave littel clues in places and this seems a little TOO coincidental

🔍 kirigiri Following

I hit the post button too early.

🌸 neverminded Following

KYOKO KIRIGIRI?

43,033 notes

🐰monomini Follow

okkkkk im kinda over rantaro already lmao. heres hoping we dont get another season of him

1 note

#today i would like to present to you: what if danganronpa actually was a tv show and we all had tumblr #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #lee chat

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luvhughes43 · 2 months ago

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Can we hear more about Luke finding out? I feel like he’s the most “in the dark” and is just so confused

"why's it so cold in here?" luke huffs, rolling over onto his side and practically dangling off of blakes couch. "do you not have heaters in new york?"

"go get a throw blanket from my room," blake replies, whipping one of her pillows and hitting luke across the chest. "i like it chilly,"

"yeah well youre weird," he huffs, sliding off the couch and wandering into his sisters room. he looked around her bedroom, not finding anything aside from her duvet. "theres no blankets!" he yells.

"check my laundry basket in my closet!" blake yells back, and luke dutifully pulls open her closet to reveal a mess of clothes and shoes.

he throws things around, before grabbing hold of a familiar devils hoodie. he pulls it out of her basket, and eyes it wearily. "ew!" he shrieks, dropping it back into the basket - 13 in bold glaring at him on the sweaters sleeve.

"what are you screaming about," blake sighs, pushing open her door and walking over to luke. "oh," she says, noticing nico's sweater immediately.

"why do you have this?" luke questions, grabbing hold of the sweater in question and holding it out towards blake. he takes another look around her room and quickly notices other things too. a large kith hoodie strewn across her bed, a cream beanie hanging off her vanity, two toothbrushes through her open bathroom door. "are you seeing someone?" he sounds disgusted, walking through her room and picking up an assortment of things.

"no... i just... took an interest in menswear?" blake lies horribly. her relationship with nico was bound to come out sometime but both her brothers finding out before jack... he was going to throw a fit.

it was then luke saw it. a gold framed photo from a devils event months ago. blake stood grinning near a similar faced nico, the beanie on her vanity identical to the one he was wearing in the photo.

luke gasps, "no..."

"okay well the thing is..."

"nico... like... nico hischier," luke stresses, eyeing the discarded beanie with a look of realization. he points towards the hoodie in her closet and gasps.

"i mean there is only one..."

"dont play with me!" luke defends, backing away from the offensive vanity to sit on blakes bed. "nico hischier," he repeats in disbelief, covering his mouth with one of his hands in shock. "does jack know?"

"not really..." blake hedges, watching anxiously as luke stares off in disbelief.

"like... the nico hischier," he repeats for the third time. "that's crazy,"

"well dont say it like that!"

"like what, youre secretly seeing nico,"

"like its a crazy concept that we'd be together," blake defends, still trying to gauge her brothers reaction to the shocking news.

luke stays silent for a minute, "this is so weird,"

"but youre not mad?" blake asks, still standing by her vanity.

"no i'm not mad but ... ew! how did you guys even get together? and how are you hiding it from jack? and-"

"one question at a time lukey," blake laughs as her nerves dissipates. "we started seeing each other after the swept the deck event, and we havent told jack because he said he doesnt want me dating his teammates,"

"well thats stupid. jack wouldnt care," luke nods, flipping the situation around and giving blake advice. "but wow... and im the only person that knows?"

"quinn knows too,"

luke leans back on blakes bed and holds his hands up to his eyes. "wow i cant even imagine-"

suddenly, blakes phone starts ringing and she whips it out. "is that him?" luke perks up, standing up quickly to see the caller id. "it is!" he gasps, grabbing the phone from blake and answering it.

"luke stop!" blake shouts, and luke holds the phone out of her reach.

"are you seriously dating blake? like, voluntarily?" he asks nico, and while blake cant hear her her boyfriends response she can see lukes smile get wider. "this is crazy," he laughs, handing the phone back to its rightful owner.

"so he knows," nico speaks through her phone. "is that okay?"

"it's okay," she hums, watching as luke retreats back to her closet to search for her blanket.

#blake hughes au

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