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#not the first apple eaten by this person. but you got snacked on then and there. and thats what matters about it right.
yoshistory · 6 months
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my former therapist told me "everything you are and become and will be is something learned; you cant be something if you didn't learn it somewhere. nothing is inherent about anyone, except for something genetic" and honestly it is still messing with me on some level
#like i knew this technically but it still doesnt feel right. something about that feels wrong to me#its for everything like. good and bad about a person#but it gives me this sense of wanting to go back and find the original. does that make sense#if everyone learns something somewhere .. who was the first to do it. and why did it happen that way#yknow what i mean? i imagine this progenitor of all things good and evil about a person#i think the answer to this question is: does that matter? and.. i dont know that it does#like .. can it be quantified? no. but thats the same for most everything thats personal qualia like that#maybe what matters is who YOU learned it from. and what happened to have that occur. and what it means to you#but i still dont like that interpretation of personhood. even if its like scientific and true and shit or whatever.#makes me feel mechanical and not in control of myself instead of someone who's organic and can make my own decisions about my life#but i mean like. i taught people stuff yknow. we all do. right. but like. idk. it makes me feel like im not my own person#and maybe its like. part of wanting to ''feel special''. but i dont like the limelight. i think im really an average joe#i just want to feel like i have control of myself and who i am. and thats why my name feels like its so important to me. yknow what i mean#like i have to think about it a lot. but when nothing about me is original or inherent .. then i feel like im like. nothing#but i guess its like throwing stones or something. not the first stone thrown right. not the first stone in this pond#not the first with this composite. and not the last#but someone threw you that day and you landed somewhere and you eroded this way and you tumbled that way. and you're you#you're like every apple that grows right. not the first on this tree or in that soils or by that farmer.#not the first apple grown under the sun. but you grew and someone eats you#not the first apple eaten by this person. but you got snacked on then and there. and thats what matters about it right.#like whats happening right now. what am i doing about it instead of trying to do something out of my control about the nature of being#wow. i made myself feel better. thanks for reading
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heartfullofleeches · 1 year
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Hopping Ship
Yan Rival Restaurant Mascot + G.N Reader + Yan Restaurant Entities
Slow day....
Right in the middle of lunch hour too-
Scarce to see the restaurant so empty like this nowadays. After starting the new shift, you genuinely began to ponder if you'd finally lost your hearing due to the one-sided shouting matches from customers before realizing there had been a single since you clocked in and the silence surrounding you was very much real.
With so much free time, you finally got around to completing some tasks you'd be putting on the back burner for a while and a few you picked up while the janitor was out on personal business. They were gone every other week of the month, but you stopped wondering where they went after seeing them crawl into a black van one night after closing shit. It's impolite to watch coworkers who appear to be wearing your missing coat drag trash bags into unmarked vehicles after midnight.
You swept the floors, decorated the back office with some of the flowers the mascot left you and read a couple of their letters, created a sign out for the bathroom succubus to please at least put a towel beneath the door when she went on of her many "mandatory smoke breaks", and other duties which staked your claim as the establishment's most valued, living employee - all accommodating in the treat you rewarded yourself with once your break rolled around.
Sitted at the back of the fridge, behind the cooler you kept your gifted deer kidneys from the crying figure in the woods - a single fruit cup shined in all its syrupy glory. You tended to avoid eating coworkers food until their names appeared in the papers, but this little delight was stapled with a friendly letter for whoever came across it.
"For you~ (yes, the one reading this)"
That in itself should've been warning enough, but you were too hungry to care and not really in the mood for greasy fast food or ice cream from a bastard ghost. It was the perfect snack. Tiered with fruits representing all colors of the rainbow separated by rich, fluffy cream you assumed to be whipped frosting or some type of yogurt.
Snagging the cup and a spoon from the dispensery, you head back to the front to eat just in case anyone shows up. First bite in and you immediately notice something off about what you've just willingly ingested. What should've a sweet, succulent strawberry tasted exactly like strawberry cheesecake. The creaminess of its taste compared to its snappy texture threw you off entirely. You nibbled on an apple slice which tasted just like pie. Not exactly what you were going for, but you needed something on your stomach. Mindlessly chewing away, a faint hiss comes from beneath the counter.
"Psssst."
Must be another gas leak.
"Y/n - down here!"
You almost wish it had.
Peering underneath, you make contact with the frantic eyes of a former coworker. His face was caked in mud and his lips cracked from the clear signs of dehydration. You grab a cup of water from the soda machine which he near inhales, plastic and all. You take your seat back at the counter, poking around at your cup. "Hey, Noah. What happened to you last we I thought you the storyteller told you to go get lost in the forest and get eaten by bears."
"I was a boyscout growing up and all the predator animals in this area are dead. Get down - it'll see you!"
"What will?"
He tugs on your sleeve. "The rabbit thing that's been throwing everyone into that van! It's right outside!"
"Mm?"
Sucking a cube of peach cobbler off your spoon - you you peer outsife where another mascot stood - gloved hand extended a with flyer to the customer approaching the the door. The anthropomorphic rabbit was dressed in a red and white hybrid of a nurse gown and a 50s waitress outfit down to the pastel skates it wore on its large feet.. When the customer ignores the paper and went out of their way to walk around the strange figure, the creature dropped the flyer as it clasped its hand around their neck and hurls them into the open van beside it. Slamming the door on their ankle - the rabbit suddenly bends backwards with an audible crack facing the register as its ears dangle at its feet, waving at you with its Cheshire grin. You chase a grape around the container with your spoon.
"They seem friendly."
Noah pulls harder on your clothes. "Quiet! We need to call the police."
"Mmm... nah, they never respond to any of our calls anyway."
He groans into his hands. "Ughh- Ojay, we'll figure something out - just, don't make look that thing in the eye.
Bit too late for that.
The rabbit mascot had scaled the restaurant floor in about the same time it too you to swallow the bland frosting that served as a palate cleaner for the tooth rotting sweetness. It contorts to match your height, button nose inches from yours.
"Hello, hello, he-llo - where have you been hiding?~ I was looking for you. "
".... Hey, Noah? Can you actually try the police to see if they'll show up this time?"
The rabbit chuckles. "Funny too. I knew you were a catch from the second I laid eyes on you. That's why I had to make sure our first meeting was special and there were no..." Its eyes fall to the counter." prying eyes... Anywho! Did you enjoy the fruits I left for you?"
You shrug, mouth full of sugary melon. "I guess."
"Fantastic! Those at my establishment prioritize a healthy, and tasty lifestyle. I certainly hope you don't mind us treading on your territory, but it was the only spot in town fit for our dream. If all things go according to plan, you won't have to worry about the competition at all! Onto my big question - would you care to join our team? An experienced crewmate like yourself is just what we need and if you start this afternoon - I'll even make you manager! Even deal, wouldn't you say?"
"....not really."
"Great!-...." Its ears fall flat against its skill. I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"I kinda like it here. Bring manager sounds like I'd have to do more work than I do now, and the the ball pit is a big factor to why I stay.
Soft clapping sounds from the play area. Confused, he mascot looks between your face and your half eaten cup. "Are you sure?"
You shrug again. "Pretty sure I am."
"Maybe take another bite and think about it harder?"
LYou shove the remaining bits of fruit in your mouth, using the time to chew as your grace period. "Positive."
"I see...." The rabbit's whiskers twitch as it snaps back to full height, spinning on their wheels towards the door. "No matter. I will be back for you another day with an offer you won't be able to refuse. Until then."
You look at the floor as they skate away. "I think it's leaving, Noah.... Noah?"
"Help me!"
You glance back up in time to see Noah being dragged outside and flung into the van as his captor grumbles something about just using sleeping pills next time. You official cross him off the schedule as you throw the cup away.
"If they'd just offer me their skates - I probably would've said yes."
You lick the spoon clsan as the ice cream machine whirls to life.
"Cheater!"
"Oh shut up."
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sooniebby · 1 year
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ఌ 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐀 𝐊𝐎𝐙𝐔𝐌𝐄
꧁ 𝙆𝙤𝙯𝙪𝙢𝙚 𝙭 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ꧂
Word count › 2.5k
Rating › SFT
Warnings › none
╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-
╰┈─➤ BEGINNING
(Name) was a very outgoing person. Everyone had at least hugged him once—since he was a very touchy person. But he never went overboard.
Most of his classmates always had a good experience with him. It was a shame that his family had to move but (Name) never saw the bad in leaving—he could always make new friends.
Maybe a boyfriend too. He really wanted a boyfriend.
(Name) wasn’t exactly a sports guy. He preferred cooking. His hobbies were more traditionally feminine but he never saw it that way. What he liked is what he liked.
Besides, cooking was a great way to break the ice to new people.
(Name) placed a bag of cookies on each of his classmates desk, stating his name to each person. His classmates either looked surprised or happy. Who could turn down cookies?
When (Name) reached a student with his eyes glued to a PlayStation Portable, (Name) grinned. He wasn’t a gamer but his little sister was. Oh, she’d just love this random guy.
“My sister loves games!”
The guy looked up at him before giving him a curt nod. He looked a bit awkward—he didn’t say anything else before looking back at his console. (Name) took that as him being shy.
“What’s this console called? She doesn’t have it, I might have to get it for her!” (Name) grinned. He knew what it was called.
“Uh, it’s a PlayStation Portable…”
“Cool. I’m Hirai (Name).”
“Kenma Kozume.”
It was silent after that. (Name) hummed, knowing he’d have to try a little harder at getting Kenma to open up. He smiled and placed the bag of cookies on his desk before walking away.
He’d continue trying.
“Kenma!!! What games do you like to play?”
“Kenma!! When did you start playing volleyball?”
“Kenma?! Why haven’t you eaten lunch yet?! Are you trying to die?!”
“Kenma!! I made cookies for you and Kuroo!! Oh, maybe I should make more for the whole team!”
“Kenma—”
Kenma wanted to kill himself. He wasn’t sure how he got (Name) follow him around like a puppy looking for it’s mommy. At first, it was fine. (Name) just wanted to get to know a classmate.
But then it lasted more than two weeks. It’s almost been three months. (Name) was still talking to him. Even his usual self that put off other people was just making (Name) get closer.
(Name)’s voice was now stuck in is head. He was sure just hearing his name could give him a heart attack. It didn’t help that his teammates, especially Kuroo, kept laughing whenever (Name) came to visit him during practice.
“He probably likes you,” Kuroo said.
“Huh?”
“Yeah, why’s that so surprising. No one would do what he does for just a friend.” Lev said, earning a glare from Kenma. When was he invited into the conversation?
Kenma shrugged it off but he did wonder. Did (Name) like him? The first few weeks it seemed like (Name) was stuck on trying to be his friend.
But he did notice how (Name) looked more embarrassed each time he gave him snacks. Like he was scared Kenma would say his cooking was bad or something. Not that he ever would, (Name) was pretty good at cooking.
He might as well just ask.
“Kenma!!!”
“Your boyfriend is here.”
Kenma glared at Kuroo before walking out of the gym to see (Name) holding a box. He waved at him and took the box from (Name), lifting up the covering to see what was inside.
“I know cookies can get pretty boring so I baked an apple pie! Kuroo…” (Name) blushed. “Kuroo said it’s your favorite.”
Oh. Kenma stared at (Name) in shock. He didn’t know what to do. (Name) was really annoying to him in some way but he didn’t hate him. He seemed like a good guy, just didn’t know when to leave certain people alone.
But he didn’t like him. Not like that.
Kenma hummed. “Thank you. I’ll share it with Kuroo.”
(Name)’s smile dropped before he forced a small grin. “Hope you enjoy it.”
With that, he left. Kenma didn’t know why he felt bad. He didn’t like (Name). Did he? Kenma shook his head before turning to go back inside only to see Kuroo looking at him with a raised eyebrow.
“The hell was that?”
“Nothing.”
“You should just tell him if you don’t like him. So he can find someone else who does.” Kuroo said, grabbing the box from Kenma and walking back into the gym.
Kenma hated how his heart stung at that. He didn’t want (Name) to focus on anyone else. A sigh left his lips, he hated how confusing his feelings was. At the very least, he didn’t want (Name) to give some other guy the gifts he was giving him.
Was that a romantic feeling?
“Kenma!!”
(Name) had some rough patches with figuring out if he wanted to just be Kenna’s friend or not. He thought, maybe if they went out together without Kuroo, he could figure things out. He found Kenma walking down the hallway during lunch, his head down as he paid attention his console.
A grin appeared on (Name) lips as he skipped over to him, reaching over to give him a high five. But he miscalculated how close he had gotten to Kenma that he knocked the console out of Kenna’s hand.
(Name) tried to grab it before it fell to the ground but that seemed to only make it worse as it instead fell on it’s face than the back. A sickening crack was heard as it slammed onto the ground. It was broken.
No way in hell it could’ve survived that.
“I’m sorry! It was an accident! I would’ve never done that on purpose!” (Name) kneeled down to get a clean look of the damage. He looked up to see what Kenma would say since he hasn’t said anything.
But the look Kenma gave him frightened him. He looked so angry.
“This is all you do, huh?”
“What do you mean…?”
“Ever since you got here, I haven’t been myself. Because I can’t be by myself. You’re always there like a annoying little baby.”
“Kenma….”
“That! It’s always ‘Kenma, Kenma, Kenma’! Hirai, I was trying to be nice and not say anything but if you hadn’t transferred here, none of this would’ve happened!”
“Kenma!”
(Name) just stared up at Kenma with shock. He heard Kuroo say something to Kenma but he wasn’t hearing it. His heart hurt. Was he that annoying? All he could think about was his last friendships.
Did they also hate him but was too scared to say anything?
(Name) whimpered, tears streaming down his face. He could feel the other students staring. It’s but if a big deal with one of the quietest guys in schools gets angry. And he did that.
He brought out something cruel in Kenma.
Maybe he should’ve left him alone.
“Hirai…” he felt a hand on his shoulder, it was Kuroo’s. (Name) glanced up to see Kenma but he was gone. He felt his lips quiver as he turned to look at Kuroo. Kuroo looked a bit embarrassed to say the least.
But mainly as if he didn’t expect that from Kenma. No one was. But (Name) brought that out. He needed to fix his console and then leave him alone. It was the least he could do if he had caused so much inner turmoil for Kenma.
(Name) wiped away his tears and grabbed the console, wincing when his finger traced across the screen. It was shattered. Could he really fix this?
Kuroo tried to grab the console from him but (Name) pulled away, holding it to his chest.
“No. I’ll fix it. It’s my fault.”
“Hirai, it’s not your fault.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Kuroo.” With that, (Name) stood up and walked away, hoping no one else could see his tears.
“The hell was that? That wasn’t you, Kenma.”
Kuroo didn’t know what the hell was happening between Kenma and (Name). He was hardly a friend to (Name) but he liked the kid. But to see Kenma just yelling at (Name)—it was hardly yelling but it was a higher volume that Kenma had ever spoken—it made him concerned.
“Was he bothering you that much? I could’ve talked to him.”
Kenma just stared at his wall in his bedroom, sitting down on his bed. He himself wasn’t sure why he got so angry. It had a little bit to due with his losing an online gaming tournament but he wasn’t that angry about it. He couldn’t just put the blame on that.
He didn’t want it to be true but he knew it had to do with what Kuroo had said. Something about (Name) liking someone else. Yesterday, he was going to the cooking club, wanting to give (Name) a gift.
Maybe even ask to hang out but then he saw (Name) with a guy. And that guy was so close to him. He touched (Name) so freely without any care. Pulled him close by touching his waist. (Name)’s waist was so small in his hands.
Yeah, he got angry.
He was too late.
But he stupidly took it out on him. Was feelings supposed to be this complicated? He would’ve been more calm had (Name) not broken his console. It just all slipped out.
“My console…”
“Your console? Seriously?”
Kenma looked over at Kuroo. He had forgot he was even there. “No. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Are you going to at least apologize?”
Kenma simply hummed. He didn’t think he had the right to even speak to (Name). It would be best if they didn’t speak to each other again. He was obviously not ready for anything serious if he acted so childish.
But it hurt. He really wanted to try and have something with (Name). And he ruined that chance.
It had been almost a month, winter break was tomorrow. Kenma avoided (Name) like the plague. Whenever (Name) even tried to talk about what happened, maybe try to put everything behind them, Kenma ran away.
He tried to talk to Kuroo but Kuroo simply said it wasn’t his problem. His volleyball teammates said the same. Lev was a bit more sympathetic and tried to give (Name) some ideas but ultimately said if Kenma didn’t want to talk, he couldn’t force it.
(Name) hated it. If they couldn’t be romantically together, he at least wanted to fix their friendship. It was a bit odd to his other classmates—who thought (Name) would’ve hated Kenma.
But he didn’t. He still wanted Kenma.
He wanted an apology first, don’t get him wrong but he knew Kenma didn’t mean everything he said. Kenma wasn’t that type of person. (Name) was just worried something had to have happened to Kenma that week for him to act so uncharacteristically.
Was it family trouble? Gaming? Did he not have the funds to fix the console when they both heard how it cracked.
It was damaged badly from the fall. (Name) had to visit multiple game stores to find one that had enough confidence to fix it. It was in his bag since last week. He tried multiple times to return it but only got ignored.
“Hirai, what are you doing for winter break?” A classmate, (Name)’s cooking club member, asked him as they began to pack up for the end of the day.
“Nothing really. My aunt is coming over to visit.”
His classmate smirked, “you should come over to my house.” He reached over and tugged at (Name)’s scarf. (Name) simply laughed. His classmate was a touchy person like him but he had a girlfriend.
But to Kenma, he didn’t know that. Which was why he pulled (Name) away from the guy and stormed away, tugging (Name) with him. (Name) followed him but tried to ask what was wrong.
“Kenma! What’s wrong? What happened?!”
“Kenma!! You can’t—!”
(Name) huffed when he suddenly slammed into Kenma’s back. He waited for Kenma to say something. Especially for so rudely taking him away from a conversation.
“Are you dating him?”
“Eh?” But he got no response from Kenma.
(Name) frowned. “Nikimura has a girlfriend… why do you—?” A blush appeared on his face. No way. No way, no way! Was he jealous? He waited for Kenma to say anything but only received a soft sorry before he quickly walked away.
“Kenma!! You can’t just run away!” (Name) yelled at him but that didn’t stop him. He pouted to himself. Just when he thought Kenma was maybe about to apologize and confess his love to him, he cowardly ran away.
“Hirai.”
“Oh, Kuroo!” (Name) watched as Kuroo walked over to him, wondering he saw the whole thing. He hoped not.
“I can take you to his house.”
“Really?!”
“Yea. Your couples quarrel is getting annoying at this point.” Kuroo grinned. “Also, Kenma won’t say what he’s feeling since he thinks you hate him.”
“Let’s go, quickly!” (Name) grabbed Kuroo’s hand and pulled him along.
He was excited. Very excited, he couldn’t hold in his smiles as Kuroo led him to Kenma’s house. He hoped Kenma would take the console back. And maybe, he could get that date he wanted.
Once they reached the house, Kuroo motioned for him to hide to the side. It took only two knocks before Kenma opened the door, a frown on his lips. He looked as if he was crying but (Name) couldn’t really tell. Kenma’s eyes always looked a bit sad.
“Christmas present.” Kuroo smirked.
“What? It’s not even…” Kenma’s voice trailed off as he caught a glimpse of (Name). He looked panicked for a moment, wanting to run back to his room but stopped when he saw the console in (Name)’s hand.
“Here,” (Name) walked over and placed the console in his hand. “I paid to have it fixed.”
“Thank you….” Kenma frowned. “Hirai, I’m sorry. I took my anger out in you. That was wrong of me.”
“It was wrong. But I forgive you. But why did you react that way?”
Kenma blushed. “Oh…. I was, uhm, jealous.. I saw you with another guy. I’m sorry, this is embarrassing.” He pulled the console up to cover his face.
(Name) giggled, reaching to push it down. “You should’ve just asked me. I only like you.”
It was silent as Kenma just stared at him. As if he wasn’t sure if he was dreaming. He thought to himself that he didn’t deserve it. That he should’ve had to apologise more. Maybe pay (Name) some cash for fixing his console.
Kuroo coughed. “I don’t have all day.”
“Why are you still here?” Kenma cursed.
“I wanna see how this plays out.”
Kenma wanted to tell him that this wasn’t some kdrama but decided against it. Kuroo was the one to bring (Name) here. He’d allow it just this once.
“I think I like you too…”
“You think?”
“Kuroo!” (Name) grunted.
“Sorry.”
“Then, wanna go on a date tomorrow? I’m free,” (Name) smiled.
“Yeah… yeah, we can.”
(Name) and Kenma smiled at each other. It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off their shoulders. They’d have some things to discuss for a future relationship but for right now, it felt as if things would be alright for the future.
“Are you guys going to kiss now?”
“Kuroo!!!”
╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-
╰┈─➤ END
Showing off my angst chops. I rarely get any requests dealing with sft so I had to do my best
Tag list: @the-ultimate-librarian @chill-guy-but-cooler @kiiyoooo @bokutosproperty @mello-life69
(Ask to be added to the tag list/you’ll be tagged in every fic I post)
Requested by: @creamatedbody
(hope you like it)
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talaok · 1 year
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Hey, I have this huge exam next week, it’s the biggest exam of my life so far and I’m stressed af. I consider myself a chill person but I’m feeling beyond anxious all the time and I have never felt this stressed in my life. It’s so hard to take care of myself rn like I don’t feel like eating but I have to because I’m nauseous and then I can’t find anything I’d like to eat and it makes me more anxious IT’S A VICIOUS CYCLE I SWEAR AND APPARENTLY I HAVE TO EAT EVERY FOUR HOURS EVERY DAY BC I’M A HUMAN??
anyway, sorry for oversharing. I was gonna ask if you could write sth with pedro taking care of stressed reader, making sure she eats and is hydrated, filing up her coffee, cuddling with her when she has crying sessions wiping her tears and telling her everything’s gonna be okay and he’s gonna be there for her with every step no matter what. I literally crave comfort right now, and I’d be so grateful if you could write something 🥹
I love how caring and kind you are with asks, thank you so so so much for being here. Love you 💕💕💕💕
pairing: Pedro pascal x reader
a/n: Im so so sorry love, im one hundred percent sure youll do great, but in the meantime, i hope this will make you feel a little bit better, love you💗💗 (this ask did skip the line bc if i posted it two weeks from now it wouldn't have made any sense)
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He didn't know how or when, but all of a sudden, all you did was study.
And at first, he didn't really think anything of it, you'd told him about the exam and about how important it was, so he understood, but what he didn't expect, was just how much you'd be studying.
You raised your head only to answer him, and even when you did, it was monosyllabic.
"Have you eaten anything?"
"no"
"did you drink any water today?"
"not really"
And no matter how many times he'd tell you how bad for you that was, the next time he asked, the answers were always the same. And that's exactly why by the second day, he had stopped asking and instead, started doing.
He had conceived a whole plan of attack.
For the days when he, unfortunately, had to go to work, he left two full water bottles and a glass on your desk, and an already cooked lunch in the fridge, so that all you needed to do was heat it up in the microwave.
But on the days when he didn't have to go to work, he took it upon himself to become your personal assistant, and your worst nightmare altogether.
No matter how much you complained, he forced you to take a break at least every two hours, he made sure you were drinking the water he poured into your glass, he made you coffee every time you asked, (always only after having reminded you that you didn't need more coffee but more sleep) and finally, he cooked or ordered all of your favorite foods in the hopes that it would make you feel more like eating (which never seemed to work).
Today, thankfully, he got to stay home, so for the thousand time, he walked into the studio to check in on you.
"hey there" he smiled, watching you half-heartedly wave at him before returning your full attention to your book "I brought you a snack," he said, placing the apple slices on your desk and making a soft laugh flee your mouth.
He had turned into a soccer mom, but god it felt good to hear you laugh again.
He got behind you to start gently massaging what he was sure must have been sore shoulders.
"how's it going?"
"bad" you grumbled, relaxing the tiniest bit at his touch
"I'm sorry" he murmured, leaning down to kiss the crown of your head "you wanna take a break?"
"It's not been two hours yet"
"I know, but I think it would be good for you" he explained "We could take a walk maybe"
You sighed, closing your eyes "I can't"
"sweetheart" he cooed, crouching down to be at your level and turning your chair towards him "you're gonna burn yourself out if you continue like this"
"I know but..." you glanced back at your notes "I can't fail this exam"
"and you're not gonna" he immediately reassured you
He watched something happen behind your eyes, 
"not if I keep taking breaks"
"baby-" he murmured, taking your hand in his and watching as your mouth curved downwards for the quickest moment 
"I just-I'm so anxious," you said, your voice breaking "I-I can't fail- I just can't"
"hey hey hey" he cooed, his eyes looking for yours "Sweetheart, it's ok"
And that was the moment you couldn't hold it anymore, all the stress and fear you'd been bottling up for days started spilling from your eyes.
"n-no it's not, I-I... I don't even know, I just..." you sobbed, and when you looked at him, he swore he heard his heart break " I feel like shit"
"sugar..." he murmured, wasting no time wrapping his arms around you "I'm so sorry baby," he spoke gently to your ear as his hands stroked your hair and back 
You hid your face in his chest as you cried all you had to cry.
"it's all gonna be alright sweetheart, I promise"
But at that, for some reason, you only started to cry harder.
"ok this is it, hold onto me"
And you had just the time to frown, before he had picked you up and walked out of the room and into the living room.
"w-what are you doing?"
"forcing you to take a break"
"I could have walked" A small smile appeared on your lips, and with it, a small wave of relief washed over Pedro's body.
"You've done enough today" he explained, sitting down on the couch with you, and in less than a moment, your whole body had clung to his.
Your left leg was draped over his, and your head was on his chest, as he held you close with both his arms.
"y/n, you're not gonna fail" he started gently "You're the smartest person I've ever met"
"That's not true" you muttered, your words muffled by his body
"yes it is" he insisted "And baby I promise you, that everything is gonna be alright" he swore, slowly running a hand through your hair "and that no matter what, I'm gonna be here for you, ok?"
It took a moment for you to respond, but after a few beats of silence, a muffled "ok" made its way to Pedro's ears.
"yeah?" he asked, again, encouraging you to meet his gaze.
"yeah" you sniffled, as you finally looked up
"Feeling better?"
"yes" you nodded "Thank you"
He tightened his hug, as he bent down, to ghost your mouth "I love you baby" he kissed you "Whatever you need, I'm always gonna be here for you"
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shadowqueen402 · 1 year
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"Eggs-celent" Easter Entertainment
And Easter fic for you all! This is basically the sequel to the birthday fic that @kayssweetdreams made for me.
"You have to admit, Aria, my cousin sure knows how to throw a party for every occasion," NiGHTS said. The Protector of Nightopia munched on some milk chocolate that they got from the snack stand. Today was Easter, the one spring holiday where people received goodies from 'The Easter Bunny'.
"He sure does," Aria replied, sipping on some fruit punch. She was now wearing the new outfit that Mei had gifted her back on her birthday as well as the necklace that Iben had given her. "So how has everything been back in the Night Dimension? You know, after the incident that happened on my birthday?" She let slip a giggle after remembering Reala's silly act.
"Aside from Reala being completely embarrassed with what he did while drunk after becoming sober? Things are pretty chill." NiGHTS said, letting out a laugh. "Though, I haven't seen Reala or Wizeman recently. And yes, Wizeman is still acting like a kind dad. That being said, Owl had a good laugh upon hearing that Reala got drunk."
"I can see why." Aria watched as everyone was having the time of their lives. Balan and Lance created a magic show for the Phil, Yuri, Emma, Leo, and Cass. Lucy and Cal were by the stand where the champagne was, talking with each other. Fiona and Haoyu dined on the delicious food together.
Sana, Eis, Trisha Jane, Debbie, and Rebecca danced to the music that played in the background. Iben and her husband were with the children as Lila giggled at the performance. Bruce and Jose were serving food to Attilio and Kaylo.
Despite how happy everything was, Aria couldn't help but secretly wonder: what was Reala up to this time?
(Meanwhile, back in the Night Dimension)
Reala gazed through the small window of his domain, watching Aria celebrate Easter with his traitorous sibling. Truth be told, he never understood these strange human holidays or why Visitors felt the need to celebrate them.
Reala grimaced from the memory on what had happened the last time that he had visited Aria on her birthday. Knowing NiGHTS, they would never let him live it down. And Jackle had gotten an earful after Reala discovered what kind of apples he had actually eaten. Being scolded by an angered Reala was…not a pleasant experience.
On the plus side, two good things did happen while he was drunk. He not only became the life of the party by amusing others, but Aria gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Up until he met Aria, Reala had never fallen in love before. And for the majority of his life, he had experienced betrayal. But when he saw Aria, there came this feeling in his gut that let him know that she was "the one". The one person who would never backstab him.
With a small bag of chocolate and peanut butter cups, Reala took a deep breath and decided to sneak into the Awakening Dimension. Maybe, once he and Aria were alone, he'll not only give these candies to her, but he'll actually be able to confess to her…without getting drunk this time. However, he was unaware that he was being followed by a certain grinning Second-level Nightmaren.
But…life sure had a sense of humor… As well as funny ways of bringing people together…
(Meanwhile, back in Wonderworld)
"Say, brother, want to have a glass?" Balan asked Lance. "That way, we can celebrate Easter with chocolate, champagne, and with a touch of class."
"If you insist," Lance said with a nod. "When it comes to champagne, you know that I cannot resist." He walked over to where the champagne sat and poured two glasses, one for Balan and one for himself. Then, he went back to where he and Balan were.
Hidden in the corner, away from everyone's view, Reala clutched onto the candy while he eyed Aria who now was chatting with Iben about what had been happening in their lives as well as any gossip they've heard.
Reala, for the first time in his life after he started his harsh training, felt nervous. Genuinely nervous. When it came to Wizeman, before the hiccups occured, he was always taught to mask every emotion. But this time?
…He couldn't do it.
"I need something to calm me down," Reala muttered to himself. His eyes suddenly landed on the champagne. He swore that he wouldn't try to confess to Aria while drunk again. However, as of right now, he was desperate to tell her without showing he was nervous. Hmmm… He thought in curiosity. Maybe one drink wouldn't hurt…
Reala poured a glass of champagne discreetly. Then he took a sip. "Delicious, but not enough…" He said to himself. And Reala decided to have more champagne…until he had drank nearly half of the bottle.
(With the others)
NiGHTS decided to help Balan and Lance amuse the children. Since they were a pro at causing light-hearted mischief, NiGHTS was able to make the children laugh without any effort.
"NiGHTS is so silly," Cass said with a chuckle.
But before NiGHTS could perform another silly trick, Debbie came running towards everyone with a panicked look on her face. "Guys, please don't freak out," She said. "But… Reala is here. I saw him earlier."
NiGHTS and everyone else turned to Debbie. Shocked looks spread across their faces. "What is Reala doing here this time?" Mei asked.
"Usually when it comes to Reala, things don't end well," Kaylo said with a frown. Suddenly, everyone turned to the sound of someone…hiccuping. Lo and behold, that someone was none other than Reala. He was giggling at everything while stumbling around.
"Reala, what are you doing here?" Aria asked. Though, NiGHTS shielded her from Reala in case their evil sibling tried something funny.
Reala noticed Aria and smiled. "Vis'tor, hiiii!" He slurred. "H-Hey, since when didja get four heads? I wanna kiss them~" He collasped onto the ground and let out a giddy giggle. Aria blushed deeply, holding back a laugh.
"What the…?" NiGHTS was taken aback. "Did Reala get into the Happy Hour Apples again?" At this point, everyone gathered around to see the tipsy Nightmaren General.
"Certainly not," Lance replied, showing NiGHTS the nearly half-filled bottle of champagne. "Of this, he must have had more than one shot."
"Reala drank a lot of champagne?" Attilio asked, surprisingly amused at this. "How drunk is he?"
"Only one way to find out," Leo said. "Reala, what level are the Second-level Nightmarens?"
Reala hiccuped. "That's a tough ques'ion, Lucas. I would say they're Fifth or Sixth levels…" At this, NiGHTS bursted out laughing at Reala's drunk response. He turned and saw Emma before pointing at her. "I-I remem'er ya… Y-Ya called Mister Wizey a opposum."
"Uh, how many shots of champagne did you drink, Reala?" Emma asked, rather amused. She let out a laugh.
"A baby and a halfa dozen babies," Reala said, letting out another giggle. "I gotta get to Wonderland… My boo is there~"
"Don't you mean Wonderworld?" Trisha Jane asked, trying to hold back her laughter. "And who is your boo?"
Reala looked at Aria again. "Y-Ya know, Aria, since ev'ryone's here, let's get married," He slurred to her. Then, he let out another giggle and hiccups. This caused Aria to get flustered. Reala fell to the ground again. "This is funny. I'm sooooo drinky?"
"What an interesting surprise," Balan said while holding back his laughter. "Reala is drunk again in front of our very eyes."
Reala shot up with a giddy expression. "I shall sing a song to my guuuurrrl!" He said, pointing to Aria before grabbing a "microphone", which was actually a broom and began to sing a…very silly song to the group:
"Talkin' 'bout the pretty lady!
She's a lady with the finest hair!
And her eyes are like the roses! (Red roses)
Wooo!"
The group laughed out loud at Reala's performance. Aria chuckled, crossing her arms as she watched Reala sing. Even when drunk, she had to admit that he was a fairly good singer. The Nightmaren General winked at her before he tossed the bag of chocolate and peanut butter cups to Aria and continued to sing:
"She's sweet like a candy!
She's an angel with a heavenly voice!
And she wears the finest outfits! (So fine)
Wooo!"
"NiGHTS, you never told me that your sibling can be silly," Yuri said to the purple Nightmaren, stifling a giggle.
"Oh, he's full of surprises, let me tell you." NiGHTS giggled and watched Reala sing some more:
"She's my other better half!
The brightest gem I've ever had!
Oh, won't you please, my pretty lady?
Won't you please be my sweetheart?
Wooo!"
Reala then attempted to do a stage dive…only to fall flat on his face. Balan, Lance, and everyone laughed and cheered at the performance. Aria smiled and slipped a small note in his vest while he was still on the ground. On that note was written this message for Reala:
Want to meet up in my dream tonight? —Your sweetheart, Aria.
In the background, Jackle giggled as he held onto a video camera. "I can't wait to see the look on Reala's face when he learns that I caught this on video," He said with a chesire grin.
Kaylo belongs to @kayssweetdreams
Trisha Jane belongs to @lovelyteng
Rebecca belongs to @thehyperrequiem
Mei belongs to @sundove88
Debbie belongs to @mayordebbie
Aria belongs to me.
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Day 20: Ann Arbor to Grand Ledge
Distance Covered: 86.22 miles
Total Time (including rests): 8:20 (7:57am-4:17pm)
Time spent riding: 7:12
Average Speed: 12.0 mph
Apples Eaten: 3 (honeycrisp - 7/10, fuji - 7.5/10, fuji - 6/10)
Today's post is probably gonna be on the shorter side, as I don't have much time to write.
Ride was a slow one, but still nice. I traveled on a mix of roads and bike trails. Most of the ride was on paved side roads, but parts were on bike trails, both paved and unpaved. I also spent a bit of time on gravel roads, which wasn't that pleasant, but it wasn't as bad as some of the gravel paths on previous days.
The ride was hilly-er than the several days spent riding through Ohio, but not by much. What was really annoying was not the hills, but rather the headwind. I had a heavy North wind, and about 1/2 of this ride was me heading north, and I always slowed to a crawl when I had to go north for a long period of time. Luckily, some amount of that northward-bound riding was on bike trails, and so the speed loss was made up for by a better road.
I stopped 3 times, twice along bike trails, and once by a cemetery, for snack/lunch breaks. The stops were mostly evenly spaced, and were part of the reason I considered today a "slow ride". The last bit of the ride biking through Lansing and Grand Ledge was the best of the ride not on trails, and I wish all road riding could be like that.
The only truly notable thing that happened during the ride was at the very beginning: while on the Border-to-Border trail heading out of Ann Arbor, I had to stop at a stop sign to let a person carrying a rowing scull to pass me, carrying their boat out to a dock just in the other side of the trail.
Pavement Notes
I did a whole terminological deep dive into roads at the beginning of this trip. Now, I'd like to return to that topic (sort of), by talking about pavement of roads. When in a car, there's only a few different types of pavement you tend to notice. However, on a bike, you're much more sensitive to the road beneath you, so you notice more types of pavement.
First of all, there are the unpaved roads:
Packed dirt - fine to ride on, as long as it's not muddy. Be careful for potholes and divots in the road.
Light gravel - the nicest unpaved roads, this is a packed earth road with a light layer of gravel above it. The gravel doesn't interfere with the riding, and so the feeling is nice.
Medium gravel - like above, but gravel may be larger or more plentiful in parts. Not too bad if you're only on it for a short while, but you have to be paying constant attention ahead of you, and it can get uncomfortable at times, so better in small doses.
Rocky gravel - bad, terrible, don't really even want to talk about it. On these roads, you usually have to bike extremely carefully, and sometimes it feels like it would be better to stop your bike and walk.
I also have some different types of paved roads which I was going to write about, but I'm getting rather tired, and don't really have the mental capacity to describe them well. I might write about them another day, or I might just forget about it.
Math Notes
Rather than Design Notes today, I have a theoretical/simulation math problem I've been thinking about.
When I map out my route, it gives a certain mileage. However, that mileage is only correct if you make perfect turns and stay on the center of every road. That got me thinking, how much can you increase the distance you bike on a route of a certain length, given that you are constantly following the route given to you. This turns into an equation dependent on the minimum and maximum speed of your bike, how fast and to what degree it can turn, and most importantly, how wide the road is. This is because the way to maximize distance is to weave back and forth on the road, while still biking forwards. That's as far as I really thought about it, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out.
That's it for today. I'm not camping today, as I'm staying with family, and tomorrow I'll be heading out to Kalamazoo. Only 3 days of riding left!
Previous -- Today's Pics -- Next
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When’s the last time you ate bread? Lunch time today
What’s the last movie you watched on your own? Just re-watched Pride and Prejudice 2005 yesterday
What about the last movie you watched with another person? Barbie
How many coats do you own? I have so many coats probs over 10. I really am a coat person
What about shoes? Hmmm I also have a lot of shoes just because I need options probs over 15
One word to describe your most recent ex? Intense
Where, in your current country, would you like to live, other than where you do now? LONDON
Do you like snow? If I have to trek somewhere it sucks but just for a chill snow day I love it
Do you like sheer clothing? I don't pick it for me but sure it can be done well
Have you ever seen anyone famous in the street? Yes, Will Poulter and Bill Nighy on separate occasions
Are you hungry right now? I could probs snack if I had anything but that is exactly why I don't have any snacks haha
Are you regularly tired? Yes
What was the last thing to upset you? Probs another job rejection
How’s the weather been today? We have had sun, rain, cloudy and wind travelling from the south to north of England
What was the first tattoo you got or what would be the first tattoo you’ll get? Probs a Taylor Swift inspired one but I am probs never getting a tattoo
What was the last store you went into and did you buy anything? Costa Coffee chai latte
Have you ever been late for school or work? Ofc haha
Do you prefer to shower in the morning or at night? Both
What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler? Apple
Is there a basement in your house? If so, what is it used for? Nope
Have you driven a car today? Nope
Do you have a small, medium or large bedroom? Medium
Where was your first job and how old were you? The Gap at 18
Have you eaten soup this week? Yes
Are you a fan of The Office? Yes
When was the last time you started a new medication? Never
What is your favourite type of nut? pistachio
Do you know anyone who doesn’t have a middle name? No one comes to mind but I am sure I have met people with no middle name
Have you put your phone on silent today? nope gotta hope a phone call or email will come through regarding a job
Can you name all 50 US state capital cities? No way
Do you read John Green novels? I read The Fault in our Stars back in 2014/15 but not anymore
Have you ever been to Universal Studios? Nope.
Can you tie balloons? Yes.
When was the last time you were at a pet store? It has been years
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moemoemammon · 3 years
Note
Do you mind if request headcanons for the brothers where MC is just a lovable idiot and the brothers realize they’re moronsexual?
Lovable Idiot MC!
(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)
✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦
Lucifer
He saw your carefree airheaded-ness from a mile away, from the moment you popped through that portal and your reaction was.... well, it was definitely enough for him to get a rough estimate of your IQ.
And honestly? He didn’t expect you to last long, yet by some literal miracle you’ve survived. If anything he thought you'd have wandered into a demon's clutches by now, so maybe you've got extraordinary luck?
A moronsexual in denial, he'll be damned if he said you didn’t somehow...grow on him..... He REFUSES to acknowledge how he finds your clumsy but earnest attitude endearing as hell. The way your brain finds the most obscure ways to solve problems is adorable for sure, but kind of reminds him of Mammon.... ugh...
You're going to give him new grey hairs, you know that? The stress of being surrounded by seven idiots was enough, but EIGHT?? Lucifer needs a vacation. Of course, he'll happily invite you along, too (paired with a child leash).
Mammon
Eyyy same brain 🧠🤝🧠 With your two brain cells combined, it's a wonder the House of Lamentation hasn't burned down yet. You both seem to cause chaos wherever you go, like some kind of cursed dynamic duo.
But seriously, that numbskull of yours is gonna get you eaten some day! Guess the Great Mammon has to do his best to keep you out of the clutches of nasty demons! But his services don't come cheap, understand?
You thought Mammon was protective before, just wait till he realizes how scatterbrained you can be. Won’t let you out of his sight, INSISTS that you summon him to accompany you when you go somewhere, even if it means he's gotta wait outside the bathroom for you. And don't think of saying no!
He's never had to work this hard in his life! He swears keeping you alive is like trying to brush Cerberus's teeth! But... it's kinda nice having someone around that he can get along with so well! Seeing as he isn't the only dumbass (affectionate) around.
Levi
Was an ass when he first met you. There was no way he’d let a klutzy human like YOU anywhere NEAR his room, let alone his precious merch collection! Go put your normie brain to use and binge watch TSL! THEN he'll be willing to talk to you!
But then he realized that you were kind of m-moe, in an annoying way.... You might not have understood anything when he suddenly dumped mountains of TSL trivia on you, but you were happy to listen anyway! It was like your smile was giving him the strength to keep info-dumping... 👉👈
He’s watched enough anime to know someone in need of protection when he sees them! And you’re definitely the 'lovable, airheaded sidekick/fan favorite’ character trope! If he's not careful, you'll fall into the evil clutches of someone horrible when he's not looking-!
Levi’s not usually into those types because of the cliches, but there’s no way he can resist the goofy smile on your face when you agree to play video games with him....
Satan
Satan would’ve ignored you in the beginning had it not been for how... spacey you could be. And being the bastard man he was, his first idea was to see what kind of trouble he could get you into. You seemed the easy type, anyway.
And yet as time went on and he started actually caring about you, he realized that you were just... a little.... uneducated. Luckily for you, Satan has enough knowledge in his nog for the both of you! He wouldn't mind teaching you a few things?
Aaaand that's a bust. He can't seem to get anything to stick in that thick skull of yours, but he can't be annoyed when you seem to be giving it your all. You're really determined, and that face you're making while you study is...
Ehem. Maybe that's enough book work for the day? He'd much rather learn the wonderful things about you, and enjoy the things you like to do. Teach him carefully, okay?
Asmo
You’re Asmo’s favorite kind of person! To manipulate- So soft and innocent, and he finds you absolutely ADORABLE! He can’t get enough of your cute, dazed looks! Ah, the way you stare blankly at people when you don’t know what’s going on... So cute! ❤️
Having a thing for corruption means you’re the apple of Asmo’s eye. But as he starts liking you more, he realizes that you... get into trouble a lot. You're way too gullible for your own good! You should realize how dangerous it is to be that cute!
At this rate, ANYONE could gobble you up and Asmo would die! He's got to make sure his cute little MC stays safe and sound, so he spends lots of time making sure to leave his mark on you one way or another, be it the lingering smell of his perfume, or other more.. physical marks. That seems to keep the nasties away!
He doesn't mind being a moronsexual. If anything, he's an everyonesexual. Now come to his room! He's been missing your terribly, so why don't you tell him about your day?
Beel
Beel isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer to begin with, so it takes him a long while to realize that you aren't either. What makes it obvious is how much of a knack for trouble you seem to have. It's almost like you're doing it on purpose... but at least you're nice..?
You only seemed like an easy snack to him at first, but now he finds himself saving you constantly from getting yourself into dangerous situations. Like when he caught you standing at the top of the stairs, probably contemplating whether or not you could jump to the last step.
Get used to Beel just picking you up all the time. He'll carry you away from danger and keep you close like the overactive toddler you are. He'll offer to do little tasks for you, too.
He's not saying he's worried that you're somehow hurt yourself using the microwave, but…he's worried that you're somehow hurt yourself using the microwave-
Belphie
He can only think that your personality is exactly what made you such an easy target. Who in their right mind would trust a shady guy in the attic anyway, let alone set him free? YOU, that's who. You were so naive, it was hilarious!
But now it's not so hilarious unless he's e one teasing you. You seem to fall for ANY prank, and while he thinks that's cute, it's also worrisome... He knows there are demons that'd love to eat you, so what if they tricked you into going with them?
Guess he's gotta go to school to protect you.... Jk. He'll just keep you from going! You're much safer if you just nap all day with him, right? Ah, he and Beel were gonna play video games together. Wanna join?
Oh yeah, and don't think you're safe from still being harassed. It's all harmless fun but he can't get enough of how easy it is to trick you. The kind of bastard to tell you to go into the auto-shop and ask for blinker fluid. He loves you though! ❤️
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finelinevogue · 3 years
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the fact that Y/N has post natal depression Is somewhat refreshing idk I just don't see it talked about much on here and if it is it's like Hella angsty and the partner doesn't understand what it is but I was wondering if u could touch on it a bit more cause it's something I'm really scared about happening to me and I just want harry to hold me and tell me it's going be okay 😚😚😚😚
P.s. if u don't wanna it's understandable
anon: can u write about harry helping y/n through her ppd maybe like the 3rd time was so bad that h decide that he won’t be having more children
so this was requested twice so i would love to be able to write this for you both, hope this is okay - mind it’s heavily angsty!;
tw: vomiting, ppd and od
oli - 4, felix - 3, belle - 12 weeks
Motherhood was really fucking hard.
The birth of your newly born daughter, Isabella, had really taken a back pedal on your mental health. You had suffered with post natal depression after the birth of your two sons, but nothing as bad as this.
It had hit you around the 7 week mark after giving birth. The pregnancy itself was okay, even though she was slightly premature, but it was after you’d taken her home that it’d all spiralled downhill. It started with complications with her breastfeeding - like she was rejecting the milk that you had produced. It hurt to see her reject you and your body, finding more comfort in drinking from a pre-made milk bottle as her dad rocked her to sleep. You recall the evening so clearly and felt like an utter failure as you watched her drink a bottle of formula for the first time.
“Ssh ssh,” Harry cooed to your 7 week old daughter as he rocked her in his arms on the rocking chair in her nursery. She was whining because she was hungry, but the problem was that she wasn’t accepting your milk. She hadn’t been accepting your milk all day and now it was becoming dangerous for you to keep on saying ‘Oh i’ll just try later.’ Harry had told you to make a formula bottle for her. “Mummy’s coming.”
As much as you didn’t want to, you were walking back to the nursery with a warm bottle in your hands. You’d tested it on your hand to make sure it wasn’t too hot and then taken a sip to taste it, out of jealousy, and you thought that it didn’t taste any different to you. Then again you’re not a 7 week old human whose only date is milk.
“Look here’s mummy with your yummy milk, okay? Look Belles!” Harry cooed at his darling angel and you only wished he wasn’t as happy for her as he was.
“Yeah.” You spoke softly, handing him the bottle and standing nearby, part of you hoping that she would reject this too and she wasn’t just rejecting you.
But no, she drank the formula like it was her last meal.
“Such a sweet girl, aren’t you?” Harry praised her, watching her in awe as she kept on drinking the formula. Watching as she was drinking to become the strong girl you knew she’d become. It just hurt that it wasn’t you that could help her become that.
You felt powerless. Worthless, even. The one thing that you had carried the weight of your breasts around to do and you couldn’t even do it. Your nipples were so sore and your breasts ached so badly and it was all for nothing. Perhaps it was punishment for being such a bad mum. Perhaps you’d never been good enough for this job and it was your bodies way of shutting you down forever. You wouldn’t need the ability to produce milk anymore, because you weren’t worth the title of becoming one again. You wanted to be happy for your little one, seeing her happy but all you felt was rejection and sadness. She didn’t think you were good enough to be her mum and that really hurt.
Along with the breastmilk problem, Belle also became very stubborn when you wanted to change her nappy. Anytime you tried to change and help her she put up a fuss, kicking her legs and sometimes she would bite or hit you away. It was just a reminder that you weren’t a good enough mum for her and that she didn’t feel safe enough around you. She didn’t find comfort in your presence and she was so fussy about what you did around her. With Harry, though, she was an angel. She loved him so much and obviously he made her feel so loved and safe - something you’d clearly never be able to give her.
There was also the chores of being a mother to your other two sons too. Oli and Felix were old enough to understand that they had a baby sister, but they weren’t old enough to understand how miserable you were. Harry wasn’t even able to figure it out yet. You tried your best to put on your bravest face, knowing that your family needed you to be strong but the truth was that you were crumbling on the inside. You were feeling less and less like yourself and you were waiting for the moment when you’d completely fall apart. Nothing felt right anymore. Everything was just numb.
“You two boys okay?”
You walked into the children’s playroom see that they were sat at the little table colouring in. Felix’s little legs dangled slightly, whereas Oli’s legs touched the floor and it made your heart swell at how big they were both getting.
“Yep!” Oli cheered, scribbling with his left hand as his tiny tongue stuck out from his lips as he concentrated - a habit passed onto him from his father.
“What are you both drawing?” You asked, coming over and kneeling on the floor beside them and having a peek at their drawings.
“We’re colouring for daddy.” Felix answered, some of the words not being pronounced properly due to his young lisp and lack of being taught how to say things correctly yet.
His words stung though. You appreciated that he was only a toddler and he meant nothing evil or malicious by it, but it hurt to think that maybe, just maybe, your sons were doing this for their dad because he did so much more for them than you did. Of course you tried to be the best mum you could, but maybe you weren’t doing enough. Maybe you weren’t meant to be a mum after all, or at least not a good one.
“O-oh,” you tried to hold back the tears in your eyes because your boys looked so proud at their artwork - and you should be too. “Tell me about them then, my loves.”
Oli went first, “So this is me and this is Oli and this is dad. It’s us playing football like we did the other day, mummy.” He pointed out to each of the figures, some looking actually quite terrifying but you’d never have the heart to tell him that. The figures were all holding hands though and it hurt to think that you weren’t a part of that.
“Oh that’s so good Ols!” you rubbed his head of hair and then turned to Felix’s, “What about you Fix?”
“I drew daddy as the best.” He pointed to a trophy that the figure - more like a stick-man-slenderman - was holding, which was decorated with the award of ‘my hero’.
“I told him to write hero, mummy.” Oli added, and you smiled at both of them.
“Well done. Good job both of you. Daddy will love these!” You only wished that they would draw something for you. You hated to think that you were being petty, but honestly you just wanted to feel loved. “Shall I go cut up some apple for a snack, hey?” You asked, trying to feel useful.
“Daddy is making us smoothies!” Felix answered and you had to stand up, up and away from their heigh, so they didn’t catch the tears in your eyes.
“Okay! Don’t forget to give him those pictures - he’ll love those.” You praised them and they both giggled to each other.
The sight of your sons laughing should’ve made you so happy, but it only reminded you that you weren’t the source of their happiness. You weren’t on their mind enough to be their inspiration for drawings. You definitely weren’t their hero. You were just a woman to them, not a mum. You wanted to be so much more but it was clear that they didn’t need you. They were loved by their dad and each other, not in need of your heart.
Eventually Belle settled down and was sleeping better through the night, leaving you and Harry to much more peaceful nights sleep. Well, just Harry.
You had found it near impossible to get to sleep now. You lay awake at night wondering when Belle would next wake up, wondering when she’d next need you. Harry was always quick out of bed though, even if he actually was sleeping, to help her ordering you to stay in bed and rest yourself. You couldn’t help feel like he was telling you to stay put because he knew you wouldn’t be able to do your job properly - and you started to believe him.
You’d found yourself getting jealous of those that could get to sleep. When you were walking down the road you’d judge a person by how much sleep they looked like they got last night. You definitely looked like you only had 2 hours - even when you’d only had 37 minutes but who’s counting? Your dark circles were heavily noticeable, but no one cared enough to ask. Even Harry stayed clear of you more and more often; spending more time with the kids than you and sleeping on his side of the bed instead of yours at nighttime.
There had been one evening where you had been so restless that Harry had gotten so frustrated and left the room, with a blanket and a pillow, and slept on the couch. You’d never felt so much like a burden than that night. Your family was rejecting you and you felt like a failure. You were a success at failing in everything. The meals you cooked went half eaten by everyone because you would’ve forgotten to add a key ingredient. The children preferred to spend more time playing with their dad because you weren’t energised enough to play the games they wanted to. Your daughter still rejected your milk. It was all too much and you just wanted one nights peace for it to change.
Last night had been that night.
Fuck these were so addicting. You were finally getting the sleep that you so badly craved, only with the help of tablets.
You wanted the sleep because that was the one place you could escape to. You needed that escape to help you get out of bed the next morning. Life was too hard for you to not dream, and without dreaming you didn’t want life.
It started off with taking one every night before bed, but then they stopped working again, so you started taking two, then three. Four was obviously where your body hit its limit.
“Mummy? Can you come tuck me in please?” Oli asked, little toy giraffe in hand and shaking you in hopes of waking you up to send him peacefully off to sleep.
You’d gone to bed a bit earlier tonight, lying saying that you were extremely exhausted. Harry said he would be able to handle things and that’s when you excitedly ran upstairs to take your pills; 4 of them. You’d made it into your bed, feeling slightly drowsy after completing your nighttime routine, but then you started to feel unwell and really ill. Before you’d passed out you’d stuck your fingers down your throat in hopes to make the feeling in your stomach disappear, but it ended up you throwing up all over the bed and pass out right there.
“Mummy! Wake up!” Oli rattled your back, but you were still unresponsive.
Oli padded out of the room and down to his sisters room where he knew his dad was. Belle was being extra fussy this evening and Harry suspected it had everything to do with you retiring early. He heard Oli come into the room just as he’d gotten Belle down.
“Y’alright buddy?” Harry whispered, tip-toeing out of Belle’s room, leaving the door open slightly, and crouched down in front of him.
“No. Mummy’s not waking up.” Oli pouted, rubbing a tired fist over his eye.
“She’s probably in dreamland, bud. She was really tired today.”
“She’s really tired all of the times.”
“I know, Ol.” Because Harry did know, but he was too much of a coward to face up to the problem. The doctors had said that post natal depression can strengthen with every birthed child, but he was too blind sighted by the fact that you’d overcome the first birthed post natal depression so quickly, and was so in love with his baby girl, that he didn’t truly see how bad things had gotten. Harry had tried giving you some space, distancing himself from you in bed and spending more time with the kids so you could relax and rest up, but nothing seemed to be working. He was surprised, actually, that you’d been having better sleep recently and so was hopeful that maybe the worst of the depression was over.
Hell, was he so wrong.
“Go to bed, bud okay? I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Wake mummy up so she can give me a kiss.”
“I’ll try little man, alright?” Harry scuffed his sons hair and then watched him walk off to his room.
Harry walked into your dark room, the air smelling slightly sour, and walked around to your side of the bed. He sat down next to you sighed heavily. He needed to speak to you, no matter how tired or angry you’d be with him. He was losing you as a wife and a mother and a soulmate and a lover. He was just losing you, just as you were losing yourself and he was doing tip-toeing around the problem any longer. He was going to try and make this better. He was going to better understand how you were feeling in order to help you.
“Baby?” He spoke softly, nudging you gently, “Baby wake up.” No response. “Y/N, my love? Wake up for me darling, need to speak with you.” Normally you would’ve stirred by now but there was still nothing. “Y/N?” Harry shook you a bit more urgently now - one that would surely wake even the deepest of sleepers. “Y/N!” He shouted, perhaps a bit too loudly for the comfort of his children.
He turned you over and that’s when he knew this was very, very, bad.
Your face was pale grey and your mouth was covered in the remains of vomit, and he suddenly understood the gross sour smell from before. Your hair was greasy and stuck all in the wet sick all over your face. Your eyes were puffy from the remains of tears. You looked dead.
“No, no, no. Y/N! No you don’t.” Harry’s eyes starting weeping and he couldn’t think straight. He checked your pulse on your wrist and timed it - it was unhealthily faint. He wouldn’t be surprised if you were in your last beats of your heart. His tears and sobs were uncontrollable, but he had to be both strong for you and his children, as well as for him. “Fuck sake pull yourself together Harry. Okay, baby hold on please. Okay? You don’t get to leave me like this, you hear me? I love you so much, baby. Fuck i’m so sorry.” He gently placed your head back down on the pillow and pulled out his phone.
999
“What’s your emergency?”
“I need a-an ambulance p-please. I-I think my wife i-is dying.”
The rest of it was a blur for Harry. Him trying to wake you up. The ambulance arriving. Oli and Felix crying when they saw you being carried away on a stretcher. Belle’s deafening screams. Harry’s heart beating for the both of you.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
It was the rhythmic beeping sounds that woke you up.
Your whole body felt achey and sore, your head a pounding mess. You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting them to the light of the room. You expected to see the family photo on the wall opposite you and the white of your curtains, but you were met with a heart-monitor machine and a hospital bed instead. You looked down at your body and noticed a cannula in your arm, making you squirm because you hated stuff like that so much. Your nose had a tube running inside it too, feeding you the oxygen your lungs weren’t receiving properly.
It then dawned on you how you weren’t in the room alone. You saw a sleeping Anne and Gemma on the chairs in the far corner, with Felix and Oli tucked against their sides - Anne with Oli and Felix with Gemma. It was so cute to see them so cuddled up close. They looked peaceful. You took note of the baby pram that was at the end of your bed, most likely playing bed to your beautiful daughter. Your mind felt lost. You can’t really remember what had happened, apart from taking four of those sleeping pills. You fully remember the weight of feeling worthless and useless as both a mum and a wife, though, and that feeling was still very prominent.
Your eyes lastly landed to the side of you, where Harry was sat but also laid on your bed. The top of half of his body laid upon the bed, his head buried onto this arm deep within the bed, whilst his bottom stayed rooted to the chair. His hand was holding yours tightly, which was a sign that he wasn’t asleep. You were so scared to face him though. You had failed him, again and again and you weren’t sure whether you could be enough for him anymore. Enough for your family anymore.
You squeezed his hand three times saying ‘I love you.’
“Y/N,” He whispered so hoarsely, but you were so focused on him to even catch it. He looked ruined, and you’d done that to him. His eyes were dark and tired, but also red and puffy from where he’d been crying. His hair was a mess and you could tell it hadn’t been washed in a while. How long had you been out for? You felt rested in your sleep, but not in your mind or your heart.
“I—” Your breathe got caught in your throat, but you persevered to finish your words. He deserved to here them. “I’m sorry.” You were whispering so you didn’t disturb anyone else in the room.
“No, stop it. I’m sorry baby.”
“Harry don’t, you don’t have anyt—”
“Stop yes I do I—”
“Harry please you don’t owe—”
“Y/N listen!” He cut the little volley-conversation and ordered you to just stop. You started crying when you saw that he was too. “Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it right now. Because I love you. Fuck, I do. I love you so much that when I found you unconscious in a pile of your own sick thinking you were dead, my only thought was that I wished it were me instead”.
“Harry, you don’t mean—”
“My god Y/N! You don’t get it, do you? I would do anything to switch places with you right now. I would suffer a thousand times over if it meant you were okay. I’d suffer in hell for you. Nobody else but you has ever made me feel like this. I married you because I love you and I want to wake up next to you every day of my beating hearts life. I chose to have children with you, because I knew how great of a mum you’d be and what beautiful people you’d help bring up into the world—”
“But i’m not.” You cut Harry short, trying to pull your hand away from him but he didn’t let you - only tightening his grip and pulling himself closer towards you. He was so close you could kiss him.
“Not what?” He asked, although he already knew the answer. You’d both had this conversation before, but you were both tired of it and were ready for it to be your last now.
“A good mum. I’m- i’m not a good mum or wife, Harry and i’m sorry.”
“I told you not say it and stop thinking it, because you’re completely wrong Y/N. You’re a good mother and a good wife, because you are a good person.”
“But i’m not great.” You whimpered, thinking back to the drawings your Oli and Felix had done. “I’m not the best.”
“But you don’t have to be, baby. You see our beautiful, healthy, happy and safe babies over there?” Harry turned to look at them, love in his eyes as in yours. “They wouldn’t be all those things, no matter how you feel about yourself, without you. I could never have brought them up to be half the people they are without you by my side, the way you make me a better person. You claim you don’t got this, but baby you’re already doing it and have been doing it for 5 years with our children and so much longer with me.”
“I’m just so fucked up Harry.” Your head tilted back on the pillow as you got heavily emotional over the situation.
Harry shook his head and moved his hand to cup the back of your neck, moving your head forwards until it met his. The touch of his skin against yours, no matter where and how small, made you feel alive and you’d missed him and that feeling so much. You missed loving him so much.
“Listen to me.” He ordered, keeping you still. “You are strong and you are brave Y/N Styles. No matter what you tell yourself I will be here every goddamn day of my life, if I have to, to remind you that you are worth more than your fucking weight in gold. You are my heart. You are my soul and the mother to my greatest achievements. I know they are yours too, just as I know I am your heart.
“You are.” You whispered so quietly under your breathe, but Harrys heart warmed when he caught you saying it. He knew though.
“Just let me love you. Let me be there for you. If you want medication then let’s do it, and i’ll be there for every step of the way. If you want to go to a rehabilitation centre for a bit, that’s okay we can—”
You shook your head and licked the tears away from your face. You were both such tearful messes, but the love between you was undeniable. “No, no please, no.”
“Okay, okay, love. We won’t. See, you’re okay. I promise, you’re okay. Stay with me, yeah? I’ll love you and keep you safe, just as you will me.”
“Promise.” You told him sincerely. He brought his lips to yours with that single word. He was so proud of your for being so brave and strong. He wishes he was half the person you were. His lips conveyed those thoughts of his and you could taste the love and passion burning through his heart and out on to his lips. He tasted like home. z he was home. Your lips smacked together messily, but you didn’t care because you loved each other too much and had kissed each other even more. Once you pulled back he stayed close to you, smiling at you with such awe. “I think.. I think I want to try medication please.”
Harry didn’t say ‘okay’ or ‘sure thing’, no. He said four words that meant more to you in that moment that any others in the universe. More than saying ‘I love you.’ Words that reminded you that not everything is okay and that sucks really bad, but you’re doing your best to get through it. It was a reminder that you had so many people who loved you and cared for you. It was a gun at the starting line symbolising that the journey ahead wasn’t going to be easy, but worth it.
“I’m proud of you.”
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astaroth1357 · 4 years
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Demigod MC Series: Hermes
Hey guys, still doing what I can to stay healthy (and entertained) in quarantine. Staying still, keeping calm, and trying not to exert myself too much because of the shortness of breath thing going on. My lungs just can't get enough air it seems… 😅 Anyway, I've gotten a lot of suggestions on this series and I'm excited to keep it going. Just going to be a tad slow until I'm feeling better. Thank you for the support, y'all!
Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes
Lucifer
Oh no… it’s everyone’s worst nightmare… Another Mammon, but competent. Devil help us all…
Had he known who their father was, he'd have never assigned Mammon to watch over them. Hell, he would have made sure those two never even met. They became a new handful for him to manage from the day they first arrived…
When even more things started going missing around the House than normal, he knew he had made a grave mistake… They were clever, quick, and skilled. About the best WORST combination for a burglar to be…
Worse still, they were fast on their feet. He would pretty much have no way to nab them on foot and always had to resort to his wings or magic to have any hope of catching up to them… At least Mammon usually gets himself cornered!
But, paradoxically, he also came to notice that the mortal had an odd honesty streak to them... Like, they’d steal but they’d always admit to it, unlike Mammon who would try to deflect till he was blue in the face.
Were they proud of their work, maybe? Or just didn’t see the point in trying to get away with it...?
There would be several occasions where they’d take something, sell it with Mammon, and then steal the thing back later just to put it back where it belonged, seemingly never with Mammon’s permission to do so either… 
Is it better that they returned the stolen item or worse because their actions went from just robbery to a full-on scam? Either way, it gives him headaches trying to deal with it…
He pretty much gives up getting the mortal to stop after 6 months, they are legitimately that good, but makes them swear to always put back whatever they take at some point. It seems to work out and he lets more things slide, but please someone get them out of here soon… 
Mammon
Soulmatesoulmatesoulmatesoulmate, or maybe more accurately “Partner-in-Crime” but that means pretty much the same thing to him anyway. 🤷‍♀️
He’s never met a person better at thievery than they were. The day they met, they managed to pick his pockets without breaking a sweat (or a finger) and that was it. He was in love.
They could teleport! Actually teleport!! Suddenly, NOTHING was off limits to him any more! Lucifer’s rare records? Easy. Levi’s secret safe? Cakewalk. The Castle vault?? Child’s play!! It was like they could steal anything they put their mind to!!
He didn't even have to worry about them when they made getaways because they were fast too, the two actually have parkour races through the streets for the hell of it!
On top of all that, they were wicked creative. He’d come up with a money-making scheme then they’d offer him all sorts of little tricks to help get away with it...
HE’D have never realized that they could turn themselves into rats in order to frighten and sneak past Barbatos, but they thought of it the instant they heard of his fear of things. They're a mad genius!!
The only real downside was they seemed to like stealing for the sport of it instead of for the money… so they always steal back whatever they took.
That kind of defeats the purpose of all that work in the first place, right? Ah well, at least that's more money for him.
These two pretty much became a walking menace to Devildom society- Sorry, not sorry.
Leviathan
Not another Mammon!!! WHY?! What did he do to deserve this?!?
When he started noticing that EVEN MORE of his stuff was going missing than usual, he straight-up flipped! Like, had the mortal not been pretty tough in their own right they would have been Lotan-chow. End of discussion.
… And then they started using their powers for good? Kind of?
Like, first off they would always give back what they stole, which was a nice change from Mammon. Annoying, but at least he didn't have to go buy replacement games or anything…
And then they started stealing him limited edition merch or tickets and stuff because they… liked him?? He guessed???
Why else would they go to all the trouble of swiping one of the five ultra-rare Kitsune Ruri-chan figurines from its original collector? He would have had to pay Mammon half his tail for something like that but the MC just brought it to him one morning because they could!
Is… is this love? Has he grown to love that which he hates?! What is even happening anymore!?! Who is he?!? 😫
Eventually he has to reconcile his conflicted feelings by dubbing them the real life Peony Phantom Thief, Jane and even making them a cosplay. Yes, they have to wear it when they bring him things. No, it's not weird, shut up.
Satan
He wants to be irritated, no - furious, that they keep taking his stuff… But he’ll be damned if they aren’t making Lucifer’s life a living hell right now. 😏
He's honestly not even sure how they managed to swipe half of the priceless portraits in the Castle (a considerable feat since there's one for Every. Room.) but they pulled it off in under a week. Barbs didn't even notice the replicas…
If that's not mildly terrifying, he doesn't know what is. Who knows what things he could be missing at any given moment...?
At least the mortal had the good sense to return his things, unlike Mammon, which gets them off his shit list for the most part. 🤷‍♀️
It helps that they’re also impressively well-traveled. They claim to have been across every human continent and sailed every ocean. Though he was skeptical at first, just hearing their stories eventually convinced him.
What sort of person has sailed the Amazon River, hiked through Arctic tundra, seen every major capital city, and still had time to explore the sights of the French Riviera?
One that has magical teleportation powers apparently.
Frankly, he could listen to their stories of the human world all day and still ask for another. He's told them that they may as well just write a book of their own for him at some point, it'd be beneficial to their poor vocal chords.
Asmodeus
Ugh! Really? Another thief in the House?? Wasn’t one hard enough to deal with?!
Honestly, stolen beauty products aren't exactly something you can just sell or give back, so unfortunately a lot of Asmo's clothes/accessories get targeted and he is NOT happy about it...
Around the time his favorite scarf was stolen for the third time, he was about to gut the mortal himself, but they struck a deal with him. They could nab his clothes SO LONG as they returned them with an extra little "gift."
Jewelry, perfume, creams, nail polish, etc. Asmo kept a running list and pretty much treated his thieving friend like a less moral version of Akuzon. Whatever he asked for, no matter how rare or expensive, they always got their hands on so who was he to complain?
He once decided to test them by asking for the Hope Diamond - which they got for him - but he made them return it after a week after the curse on it made him ruin a particularly intricate manicure so…
Like Satan, he's also pretty impressed with all the places they've seen. He's pretty traveled in the human world himself so they exchange travel stories all the time!
He may bother them to him out traveling from time to time. There are so many gorgeous and romantic places to visit in the human world after all, it's not like anybody could stop them from just… popping in to have a look. Right? 😏
Beelzebub
They learned very quickly that his food is absolutely off limits and after that, they were good.
Seriously. Beel caught them once trying to swipe a piece of pizza from his dinner and he nearly ripped their arm off for it…
But on the flipside, he also knows that he can go to them if he REALLY needs a snack and is short on cash. 
It's pretty comical watching the fleet-foot mortal running from angry demon vendors with a basket of stolen apples for their buddy… But he appreciates their enthusiasm! 🙂
Beel actually likes to hear about their travels too, but mostly what they've eaten. They can keep him enraptured for hours by describing all the food they've come across in the human world…
Watch out for the drool, though.
Since they can teleport, they'll sometimes pop up with a human world treat for him and the man internally swears his undying love for them every time...
Outwardly, though, he just smiles. 'Cause he's a sweetie.
Belphegor
They… they opened the attic door on, like, the first day they met… They didn’t even make it look that hard, they had some kind of knack for breaking and entering…
Seriously, imagine the look on his face when they just walk into the attic to say hello… He had this whole, “Lure and Trick the Human” plan all thought out then they pulled out a magic lockpick or something and BOOM! Freedom!
He laughed, perhaps a little closer to the edge of sanity than he was intending, and he tried to attack them but they were so damn fast he couldn't land a single hit!
Damn was it embarrassing when the others came in…
MC: "LUCIFER! LUCIFER!! There's a monster in your attic!!!"
Lucifer: "That's not a monster that's my brother!!"
MC: *stops midway through kneeing Belphie in the stomach* …. Ooooooooh!
MC: Whoops. 
It was a… rocky start.
After they settled their differences quelled Belphie's bloodlust he found that they kind of grew on him rather quickly… Something about that mischievous energy and how much they gave his brothers (minus Beel) grief with it.
He absolutely helps them with their plans if it will annoy Lucifer in any way. Occasionally, they'll even take Belphie out on raids instead of Mammon.
Turns out he's surprisingly good at distractions because all he has to do is pretend to fall then take a nap. People around him will legitimately believe that he needs medical attention so the MC can sneak through crowds undetected...
Of course, Mammon gets PISSED when they do this, though. How dare his baby brother try to steal away his perfect partner!! Get your own damn mortal, Belphie!!! 🤬
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elvish-sky · 3 years
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How Gandalf and Pippin Put Aside Their Differences for the Greater Good {Faramir x Reader}
A.N: OK GUYS- i literally tied my hand to my sister’s to figure out some of the logistics of movement for this. She thinks I’m crazy now. But I loved this request! I’m currently catching up on requests and also dealing with some personal issues, and I haven’t been happy with anything I’ve written in a really long time, but I’m really happy with this! It would mean so much to me if you guys liked it too, I put so much work into this and I’m so proud of it!
also- a thousand thank you’s to @gossip-girl-of-middle-earth for giving me an idea for this fic. i appreciate you letting me use it so so much. thank you.
Requested by @raineeace on Tumblr: Your recent request you wrote was beyond cute! You’re an amazing writer, so catch me reading the rest of your LOTR content !! I also wanted to request something as well! Can you do a Faramir x Fem!Reader and Gandalf and/or Pippin try to get them together? I loved the how you wrote Aragorn as cupid, and I wanted to ask if you could make these two matchmakers as well? Lots of fluff please and I can’t wait to see what you come up with! :)
Word Count: 2,334
Pairing: Faramir x Reader
Summary: You and Faramir have been mooning over each other for months, but nothing has come of Pippin’s efforts to get you together. What happens when Pippin enlists the help of a certain wizard?
Warnings: Fluff, Humor
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How Gandalf and Pippin Put Aside Their Differences for the Greater Good {Faramir x Reader}
Pippin leaned over the banister, watching you and Faramir walk together below. You smiled at something the man said, then nodding your head goodbye and walking away. The hobbit watched as Faramir stood there, watching you go, looking oddly lonely.
Pippin had been watching/trying to get you and Faramir together for a while now. He had first noticed the chemistry and romantic tension between you when everyone was gathered waiting for Frodo to heal, and decided to do something about it. Now, months later, nothing had happened. Pippin thought that at this point neither of you was ever going to confess your very obvious feelings for the other.
At least, not without some extra help.
“Come on, Gandalf, please?”
The wizard shook his head, “I cannot believe you are still going on about this.”
“They need the help,” Pippin told him, “Plus, getting them to admit their feelings to each other would help them, and ease your exasperation with the two of them for walking in circles around each other!”
The wizard shook his head. “I’m not going to help you with this!”
“It’s for the greater good! Can you really stand to see the two of them mooning over each other all the time?”
“That’s true. It’s getting ridiculous,” Gandalf sighed, “Fine. I’ll help. Where do we start?”
Back in your room, you lifted your head from your desk as a loud, hobbitish whoop rand through the air. You chalked it up to Pippin hitting another elf, probably Legolas, with an apple, and returned to your work. You hoped that it wasn’t Legolas that Pippin had hit, because the last time that happened Legolas had promptly eaten the apple, and Pippin had bemoaned the loss of his snack for weeks.
That night, you left your room, closing the door behind you and setting off down the hallway. You’d barely made it fifteen feet when another door opened right in front of you and Faramir came rushing out, crashing into you.
“Y/N!” he exclaimed. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there, I feel terrible!”
“It’s okay!”
You shuffled your feet, nervous to be so close to the person you’d been in love with for months.
It was also weird how close your rooms were- Aragorn had given everyone from the Fellowship and friends special quarters after his coronation. You could understand why the hobbits’ rooms were so close together, but wondered why Aragorn had placed you and Faramir almost directly across from each other. Probably because the two of you worked together the closest on negotiations with the other kingdoms.
Eventually, Faramir broke the silence with an awkward laugh.
“So, late to dinner?”
You smiled, glad he’d spoken first.
“Yeah. I got so focused on drafting that new trade agreement with the Iron Hills that I didn’t realize how low the sun was.”
He nodded. “I completely understand, I’ve done that far too many times, working on something like that or staying outside the city for far too long.”
Laughing, you looped your arm through his. “We should get to dinner before Aragorn yells at us.”
You entered the hall together, pushing open the doors to see your friends all seated around the high table. Dinners with the group had started when everyone was waiting for Frodo to heal and wake up and had just continued on, everyone reluctant to give up the time spent together.
Letting go of Faramir’s arm, you took your usual seat between him and his brother.
“What prompted you two to arrive together?” Boromir winked at you as he whispered.
“Huh? Oh, we just bumped into each other in the hall.”
“Sure, sure,” he smirked as he spoke.
“Pass the potatoes, please, Boromir.” You were determined to change the subject, and, happily, it seemed to have worked.
What you didn’t notice was Gandalf staring intently at you and Faramir, muttering something under his breath as Pippin watched gleefully.
You yawned, pushing your empty plate away with a groan.
“I’m stuffed. And tired. I think I’ll head to my rooms.”
Everyone said goodbye, and you pushed back your chair and went to stand.
But you couldn’t.
There were handcuffs on, one on your wrist, and the other on Faramir’s. And they hadn’t been there a moment ago.
“Who handcuffed us?” You were bewildered.
“Gandalf…” Faramir glared at the wizard.
Gandalf glanced behind himself, and, seeing no one, turned back around with an innocent expression.
“What could I have done to make this happen?” He gestured to your hands, still handcuffed together.
Faramir said, “I don’t know, but it had to have been you!”
“Ask yourself this, Faramir. What motivation could I have possibly had? I think one you probably just ran astray of something else?”
You sucked in a deep breath.
“Okay, then, how do we make it stop?”
“Only time will tell,” the wizard nodded sagely.
“What are we supposed to do until then?” You exclaimed.
“Just stay together? Do everything together?” Pippin looked all too pleased by this.
“Fine. C’mon Faramir.��
The man rose, and together you marched out of the hall, handcuffs clanking, never moving further than five inches apart.
Once in the hallway, you turned to Faramir, panicked.
“What do we do? We’re stuck five inches, or less, apart from each other for Eru knows how long, we both have important duties.”
“And there’s going to the bathroom, and sleeping, and eating..” he was just as freaked out as you.
You turned to each other.
“What are we going to do?!”
“Y/N, Faramir, chill.”
You tried to turn, but the clanking and tug on your wrist stopped you as you spun the wrong way, twisting yourself with Faramir.
“Ok, no wait,” he backed up, accidentally taking you with him.
“Here, go this way, move your hand left.”
“No, no, my left, my left.”
“Spin this way?”
“You go under, I go over?”
“Aha! Yes, that worked!” You high-fived each other clunkily, and turned, making sure to bring your arms over your heads so that your hands fell back again.
“Oh, Pippin! What were you saying?”
Pippin smiled at Faramir. “I can help.”
“Would you mind telling us how?”
“You just have to accept it!”
“WHAT?” You screamed in unison.
Back in the hall, Aragorn winced at the echo of the yell.
“Are you sure this was a good idea?” He questioned the wizard.
“Of course not,” Gandalf replied, “but it was not mine. It was all Pippin, and if anything goes wrong that’s who we’ll blame.”
Legolas chuckled. “Alright then. We’ll leave it all on Pippin.”
Boromir raised a mug of ale. “TO-”
He was cut off by a resounding shush, and, chastened, began again.
“To Y/N and Faramir”
Everyone echoed the sentiment, quietly, and clinked their mugs.
Back in the hallway, you and Faramir were glaring at Pippin.
“You want us to just live like this?”
“Yes! You’ll be fine, maybe it’ll wear off soon, and maybe you’ll learn something.”
“Ughhhhhh,” you stormed away, dragging Faramir behind you.
Approaching your door, you were suddenly stopped when Faramir halted behind you.
“What?”
He shuffled his feet. “Whose room are we staying in?”
You considered. “Which one is bigger? We’ll need all the maneuvering space we can get.”
You walked together over to your doorway, poking your heads inside before moving back to his.
“Yours.”
“Mine?” He asked.
“Yeah. You have more space and a bigger bed. Let’s just go back to my room so that I can grab a few things if I’ll be staying with you indefinitely.”
“How are we going to do this?”
You stared at Faramir’s bed.
“I have absolutely no idea.”
You hadn’t thought this situation could get any more awkward, but there it was. The crown jewel of awkwardness, coming out to torment you. It had been bad enough attempting to change into your nightclothes, which you’d managed by turning your backs to each other to put them on, and only wearing one sleeve. But this was worse.
You decided to just go for it, and climbed into the bed, sliding under the sheets. Your movement pulled the handcuffs so that Faramir went with you, and you ended up on one side of the bed, him on the other, hands cuffed together in the center.
“This is not very comfortable,” Faramir observed.
That was true. You were lying flat on your back when you always slept on your side, and you were literally handcuffed to another person. Unable to stand the absurdity of it all, you broke out into laughter.
Faramir joined in, and you laughed together until you had tears in your eyes. His smile was so bright in the dimly lit room, and you could listen to his laugh for a thousand years without getting sick of it.
When the laughter subsided, you decided nothing could be more uncomfortable than the position your body was currently stuck in.
“Do you usually sleep on your side?”
Faramir nodded, looking a little confused.
“Ok. I’m going to try something, it’s going to be really awkward, but we might actually be able to sleep.”
“I trust you, Y/N. Whatever you’re going to do will be fine.”
You smiled at him, internally still freaking out that you were sharing a bed with Faramir. But there was no time to panic, your shoulder was killing you.
Taking a deep breath, you flipped so that the handcuffed arm was now underneath you, chain stretching up to where Faramir’s arm hovered.
“Would you be alright with putting your arm over my waist?” You wanted to make sure he was comfortable with all this.
Craning your neck, you saw a faint blush creeping up his face in the dusky light.
“Only if it’s ok with you,” he seemed nervous.
You were too, but you nodded and felt him slowly settle his arm around your waist.
Once it was there, his hand gently hanging near your stomach, you both relaxed, letting out sighs as the tension left your bodies simultaneously.
And then you giggled. Again, because this was just too ridiculous.
He laughed too. “You alright?”
You nodded, the movement of your head bumping into his chest as he sucked in a breath.
“I’m good.”
It took a while for each of you to fall asleep, brains spinning with thoughts of the person next to you. But eventually, you did.
It was the best you had slept in years.
The next day, the two of you began to figure out how to go around with your hands stuck together. You ate by spooning the food into each other’s mouths one at a time, which you were pretty sure Boromir was sketching to memorialize forever.
You blinked your eyes open the next day to sunlight streaming through the windows, and soft breathing behind you. Carefully, you turned around so that your hands now rested between your bodies.
Faramir’s face was glowing with the light of the morning sun, hair spread on the pillow. You’d never seen him so peaceful, and he looked gorgeous like some Vala come across the world to Gondor.
Unable to resist the impulse, you leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.
You quickly moved back, only to notice that the weight on your hand was gone.
You looked down.
The handcuffs were gone.
“Faramir! Faramir!” You shook him awake.
“What, Y/N?” He asked groggily.
His morning voice was perfection itself, and you had to bring yourself back to reality.
“The handcuffs are gone. Look!”
He shot up at this, looking down at his now-free hand.
“Wow! We should probably go let Gandalf know.”
You nodded. “Meet you in the hall in ten minutes?”
He gave you a thumbs up, and the last thing you saw as you closed the door was Faramir marveling at his now-free wrist.
Later, in the room that Gandalf had claimed as his office right next to the large hall where you usually ate, you sat together.
The wizard inquired, “What exactly happened?”
“The handcuffs were gone when I woke up,” Faramir told him.
“That shouldn’t have just happened. They were supposed to disappear when a physical manifestation of your affection for each other happened.”
“You did this?” You were outraged.
“Yes, Y/N, I did.”
Sensing that you were about to interrupt in outrage again, he added on.
“It should have been a physical manifestation of affection that was not circumstantial because of the handcuffs.”
You sighed, knowing what it was.
Faramir turned to you. “Do you know what it could have been?”
You stared straight at the floor.
“I… kissed your cheek when I woke up this morning.”
He blinked at you, shocked. Gandalf discreetly slipped out the door.
“You just looked so handsome in the sunlight with your hair glowing and I couldn’t resist and I’m so sorry and I’ll leave Gondor right now and never come back and what you must think of me no-”
“Y/N.”
You stopped rambling, looking at Faramir. He leaned closer to you, and in the depths of his eyes, you saw nothing but love. He paused for a moment, head tilted as if asking for your permission.
You nodded your head.
Faramir moved closer, tilting your chin up so that his lips met yours, kissing you oh-so-gently. Then somehow you were standing, lips still touching his as he surged closer and kissed you harder, like all the passion and feeling in the world was just pouring out of him and into you.
Finally, you broke apart, smiles on both your faces.
“I think I love you.,” you said, then clapped a hand over your mouth.
Faramir smirked. “It’s okay, Y/N.”
He pressed his forehead to yours. “I love you too.”
You gazed at each other for a few moments, before you grabbed his hand.
“Now, let’s go kill a wizard.”
Opening the doors to the hallway, you saw said wizard suddenly disappear.
You corrected yourself.
“Let’s go kill that wizard once he returns from wherever he’s hidden himself.”
Faramir laughed. “Let’s kill Gandalf later. For now, would you like to go for a walk?”
You smiled at him, looping your arm through his and pressing a kiss to his lips.
“Lead on, my love.”
Everything tag❤️: @entishramblings @itgetsatadhazy @boyruins @anjhope1 @kumqu4t @katbby16 @thewhiteladyofrohan @kirstenscaffeinateddisaster @beenovel @shethereadinghobbit @guardianofrivendell @hey-its-nonny
Fic tag: @eru-vande @annkdarar @lust4crust @the-reformed-ringwraith @ethereal-earendil
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mugiwara-rosewolf · 3 years
Text
What If...?
Sabo x F!Reader
(3rd Person POV)
Part 1 - Inspired by this post
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The thing about living with a literally underground organization was all the shitty ways they had to tell time. Without a window in her quarters to watch the sun pass by, all she had was a candle. They had certain compounds embedded at certain lengths along the stalk of wax that was supposed to mark the hours. Each candle could last about eight hours, but you only got so many of them depending on your rank. Y/N, being the newbie that she was, only received one. Per month. She was a week in and already running low.
Y/N rubbed her eyes. Pausing in her quill strokes to rub at her cramping palms. The flicker of the candle cast dancing shadows across her desk. The candle flared, illuminating the room in a bright orange glow. Y/N’s eyes stung from the brightness of the flame. Drying ink gleamed in the light. I don’t know how much of this I can share with the Revolution, Her lips pursed. Dragon needs proof he can trust me, proof that I’m useful. But I can’t risk--
A knock echoed in the doorway behind her.
Leather binding snapped shut, likely smearing whatever she’d written. “Come in!” She squeaked.
“Take it easy, it’s just me,” the familiar voice behind her was a breath of relief. Though Y/N still kept her palms pressed to her journal as she turned to greet her guest.
"Sabo," She nearly winced at the warble in her voice. "Aren't you supposed to be prepping for a mission tomorrow--?" It wasn't till she turned to him that she noticed the tray in his hands. Her brows furrowed. "Whatcha got there?"
"I noticed you didn't come down the mess hall earlier," he said, sauntering into her space with enviable ease. The tray clattered abruptly against her desk, filling the space where her journal used to be. "Figured you forgot again. What's got you so tightly holed up, anyway?"
"O-oh," Y/N glanced between him and the tray full of food. Her mouth struggled to form words. Wait, what the-the food on her try wasn't the typical mess hall gruel. Sure, there was the standard glass of water and mashed vegetables. But there was also a trio of strawberries and a small sandwich cut into triangles, just like when she cooked for herself. And--Y/N realized--those bento's Koala started bringing along on missions. "That's-that's...classified," Y/N fumbled, trailing off to look at him. "Did you make this?"
At that, Sabo merely smirked. Hip pressed cockily on the edge of her desk. "That's classified."
Y/N's stomach roiled. Praying to whoever or whatever that the dim light of the candle managed to diffuse the colour of her burning skin.
"H-Have you eaten already?"
"Oh yeah, and I brought a snack just in case," As if by magic, Sabo summoned a scarlet apple from the depths of his long-tailed coat. Tossing it between his palms, spinning it on his finger. At any other time, Y/N would've rolled her eyes. Called him a 'show-off' before he took his first bite.
But this time--because the universe decided today was a day of revelations--Y/N couldn't smile. Couldn't laugh. Couldn't roll her eyes. All she could do was stare, as the floodgates of her memory crashed before her eyes.
***
Rain. An unending downpour casting everything in shades of grey. Every passerby pulled their hoods low over their heads. Faces cast in heavy shadows. Fabric rustling over shivering arms. Hems trailing behind splashing footsteps stained with mud.
Y/N could see the grey mud. Grey cobblestones. Grey tin roofs rusted through by the constant rain. Today's storm brought a breezy chill to the air. One that shuddered through her tattered rags and crimson-stained cloak. She tucked herself between the awning of a shop and the waste bins. Surrounded by cold grey metal on all sides. At least if the shopkeeper or his customers didn't take pity on her, maybe she could scrounge some scraps from the trash. At least it would be something to tide her over.
'Not much to save in the first place,' Y/N remembered thinking bitterly, feeling the ridges of her ribs with one hand. With the other, she raised a small tin cup into the air. Most passersby didn't bother to toss spare belli into the cup. Or even into the mud. But at least the cup was somewhat good for catching rainwater--the cleanest source of sustenance she had. Glimpsing at the bottom...two coins and an inch of water. She tipped the cup back, catching the coins between crooked teeth.
That's when she saw it.
Amongst the towering cloaks and unforgiving hands of strangers--a glimpse of sullied white.
White bandages cover a body hardly half the height of all the others. The white of one eye, glancing around the brim of a hood to see who huddled under shelter with an empty cup in hand. This little stranger stood across the street; staring at her from the nearby ramen shop. The breeze of the storm carried the scent of cooking to her without remorse. Cruel, fickle weather. Y/N's stomach growled. The boy jolted where he stood, startled as if he'd heard it.
'Oh dear gods, please swallow me whole,' Y/N ducked her head between her crossed knees. Eyes burning with stifled shame. Her father would've rather died than suffer such indignity. But Y/N was not that strong. Her knees quivered. The rest of her body rattled with hatred for her weakness.
Everyone else just passed her by. ' This is useless...'
She lifted her cup.
A warm grip clasped her wrist.
Y/N gasped, jerking to life at the touch. She looked up. This-this...boy, was more bandage than boy. She wasn't even touching human skin, merely gauze warmed by the burning soul underneath. From the crown of his head, over his brow, completely disguising his left eye, all the way down to the knuckles on his hands. The boy may as well have been a mummy come to haunt her from beyond.
"Hey there," he said, without a thought of shame. "Ya looking to scam some grub off of grown-ups?"
"Who are you?" Y/N hissed with fluttering lungs. "What are you doing? Let go of me!"
"Come on," the mummy boy tugged Y/N to her feet. She'd been sitting so long her legs tingled whenever she stepped. "-let's get you some food."
"No wait, you still haven't-ack!"
With a jerk on her arm, the boy took off. Together the children raced through the market. Y/N struggled to stumble after the mummy boy in his blue pantaloons as he swiped foods from every stall they passed. Tucking the treasures somewhere she couldn't see. Every other inch of him was covered either in a damp black cloak or glaring white bandages.
"Ah!" a sharp twist of muscle sent her stumbling. Damn, if I wasn't so weak-She forgot she'd dropped the mummy-boy's hand until he retook it again.
"Come on, slowpoke! We gotta keep running!"
I can't-The words nearly slipped past her tongue until she looked up. He was smiling at her. The glint in his eye flashed like the flint that sparks a challenge. Y/N set her jaw. Challenge accepted.
Waterlogged awnings and mud-hemmed cloaks sped past faster than Y/N could fathom. the boy brushing shoulders and bumping elbows with almost everyone in his haste to weave through the crowd. What is he--? Then it dawned on her. Suddenly it was her turn to weave like a needle serpentining between boots and skirts in search of--her stomach cheered. Cramping and clawing to reach for the spark of hope that had snapped to life in her chest. Finally! Something I can win.
When they finally pulled to a stop in a nearby alleyway, Sabo untied his cloak, flipping it into an outpouring cornucopia of loose foods; bundles of apples, strings of beans, even a loaf of bread as long as his torso came spilling from the fabric. Y/N's jaw dropped.
"Wha-? How did you do that?!"
The boy grinned, his smile curling at the edges suspiciously smug. He didn't answer the question, of course-- 'the little shit' -- instead he maintained his gaze. Watching her. Expecting her.
"What? Whaddya want from me?"
"Show me."
Y/N locked her arms across her chest. Feet fumbling away from him. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Something flashed across his eyes. That flinty spark again--this time with a sharp angle to his plaster-wrapped jaw. "I'm not like them," He said, crisp and low like an oath. "What'd ya get? That's what I mean."
Her hands slowly fell limp at her sides. He didn't move to step towards her. His gaze never wandered from hers. In the shadows of the alleyway, his one visible eye seemed infinite as a well of ink. To be the source of such intense attention... This was the challenge, Y/N reminded herself, time to show what you're made of.
But when Y/N unravelled her tattered shirt--her collection seemed like breadcrumbs in comparison to his. A couple coins, a bruised tomato and a brass key that went to...something. She didn't know what. Y/N's stomach sank. So, this is all--
"Whoa! Awesome!"
She jolted at the sound. The mummy boy, he-he was beaming. At her, and all the items scattered about her feet. He smiled as if she were the one who hit the jackpot;
"Ha! You're a quick study, aren't ya? Here-" he snatched an apple from his pile and tossed it to her. her scab-cracked hands scrambled to catch it. "Eat up. I've gotta be gettin' back, but this food should last you a while. Just don't eat too fast or you'll get sick, okay?"
Y/N's mouth slipped. Whether to speak or gape in protest, she wasn't sure. Whatever she might have said was lost. All she remembered was nodding. Emphatically.
The mummy boy laughed. "Well good luck, then. See ya!"
No one else would know, but He saved her life that day. It was only after that encounter that Y/N started to believe she could survive on her own; having suffered through recruitment and escaped enslavement--she finally realized she could do more. Watching his retreating back, Y/N knew. After that moment she knew; I have to see him again, that boy in blue. --I have to find him one day, so I can say thank you.
***
Her next words were barely more than a breath: "Sabo...have you ever been to the street markets in the East Blue?"
The Revolutionary turned away from his half-bitten apple, interest piqued. "Yea? Plenty of times, that's where Dragon-sama found me."
"Fresh after your--" No matter how hard she tried, Y/N couldn't seem to get her breath back. "After the accident?"
Sabo stilled, jaw set harsh against the marbled scarring on his cheek. "It wasn't an accident."
"I know," Y/N finally stood from her desk. Dragon can wait, she decided. Timelines can be forgotten. This matters more. Slowly slipped her journal from her lap so she could finally reach out to him. Something twinged in her chest, only feeling smooth leather gloves instead of the plaster of her memory. Coarse white armour warmed by a fiery soul. "I only meant in the way that it wasn't your fault."
"I know..." he said, that same low and quiet timbre she remembered.
"I mean it, Sabo," Y/N insisted, lifting her hand to his chin. No bandages there. Only the faintest hints of waxy scars where her thumb brushed his jaw. "Everything that happened to you, your brothers, your family...none of it was your fault."
For all his cock-sure leanings and confident smirks, the Revolutionary officer was suddenly, unnervingly still. Like a wild animal startled at the fact of being seen. "You can't know that."
"Yes, I can."
"Y/N-"
"You're not like them," Y/N swore. Sabo's gaze snapped to hers, any pretence of an appetite forgotten. She wondered if his very own words were echoing back to him the way they did for her. Humming in her bones in a way only the truth can. "I've known who you are since before I met you. And even when I did-" Her fingers brushed over ridges of fire-marred skin. "-I was foolish enough to think that mummies and angels were one and the same."
The young soldier shuddered. "Y/N, what are you-?"
"Come on, slowpoke. You're a quick study, aren't you?" Y/N teased. "How much do you remember? From back in the East Blue?"
It was then. His jaw fell slack in her palm. His brows, once furrowed in consternation and confusion, rose with the dawning of realization. He looked at her just like that. Like the sun was coming up, and the light was just reflecting back in his eyes. "It's you..."
At long last, Y/N broke into a smile. "It's me."
No matter how much her cheeks hurt, she knew Sabo's grin would always be brighter. "I can't believe--all this time--"
His awed realization echoed her own so closely, Y/N couldn't help but laugh. "Neither can I?"
"Wait, wha-but how did you--?"
Y/N flicked her gaze at the apple, now just a sliver of its former self, hanging limply from his other hand. Sabo followed her gaze. A flicker of pink brushed across the bridge of his nose.
"Oh."
"Yea, oh," Y/N couldn't stop giggling. The bubbles in her stomach were brighter than a night of champagne. No matter how she tried, she couldn't stop grinning. After a moment, she realized he was still staring at the apple. The flickering light of the candle cast inscrutable shadows over his face. Not looking at her. "Sabo-"
"-Can I tell you something?" The young woman was startled. Surprised by Sabo's sudden rush of words. "Don't freak out."
"Of course! Wha-what makes you think I'll freak out?"
Silence.
"...Sabo?" Y/N swallowed. "It's alright, you don't have to say anything. I just, I thought it was, uh-" Life-altering? Earth-shattering? The one thing I've been searching for all these- "A funny coincidence, that's all. It's quite the twist of fate, finding each other after all these years."
"Yea..." his voice seemed so quiet all of a sudden. A hushed huff of breath trying to be a laugh. "Small world, isn't it?"
"The smallest," Y/N swiftly agreed. Small enough to spend ten years searching for you. The pang in her chest felt like the blunt end of a knife. 'The boy in blue' I finally found- "Sabo?"
"Yea?"
"Can I--I mean, all those years I kept thinking about you. Wondering what you were up to. Wondering if you were alright-I mean, obviously, I know you're fine I just--" Y/N bit her tongue, forcing a deep breath through her rattling chest. Every so gently, Y/N lifted her hand from his cheek. Fingers drifted over the limp golden curls obscuring the scar on his left side. "...May I?"
A moment of silence. Of quiet and stillness and flickering candlelight where Y/N still held her breath. Stomach quivering, wordless and brief until- Sabo nodded.
Y/N's stomach roiled. Praying to whoever or whatever that the dim light of the candle managed to diffuse the colour of her burning skin. Y/N couldn't smile. Couldn't laugh. . All she could do was stare, remembering how he tapped his quill against the side of his cheek. The way he rubbed along the edges of the scar on his face with the corner of his thumb. The way he tilted his head to aggravate his bangs into covering more of his blind eye. The way his smile would wrinkle the scar over his eye and lift higher on the right side than the left.
Firelight danced on glistening, molten skin. Still moving every so gingerly, Y/N lifted Sabo's flaxen curls away from his face. Brushing her hand to cup his cheek, to hold him there. Hold his gaze. To really see him. Sabo closed his eyes and pressed his lips into a tight line. He didn’t pull away from her. Y/N felt him press into her palm, ever so slightly. Though he didn’t say anything it was clear that his mind was racing.
"Abre los ojos," Y/N murmured. "Let me tell you what I see."
A moment passed. For that one split second, the whole world stood still. Y/N could tell Sabo was holding his breath as he opened his eyes.
She already knew he was blind in his left eye. No one dared walk on that side, save a trusted few. Even without his hair hanging in his eyes, or pressed in front of his face, the traces were there. But standing so close--suddenly Y/N could see everything. Reminders of fire thrown in stark relief against his deeply tanned skin. Y/N pulled back just far enough to look, tracing Sabo’s eyelid with her thumb. The blue iris wasn’t so much faded as broken and bleeding out into the white of his eye. A pale film, possibly more scar tissue, covered his pupil.
His right eye on the other hand was that stunning cobalt blue that reminded Y/N of the sea at twilight — the colour every pirate lived and breathed for. Who else could a pirate possibly fall for, but Sabo--the boy with the blue of the sea captured in his eyes?
Leaning on her desk the way he was, they could finally see eye to eye. Completely. "You know," she mused, blissfully lost. "When we first met I thought your eyes were black-"
"Really?"
"Yea, odd isn't it?" Y/N chuckled to herself. "Glad I was wrong though. Yours are much prettier than plain old black."
"--Yea?"
"Don't fish," she scolded. Lips twitching against her will.
"Wouldn't dream of it," Sabo said, a smile itching at his cheeks as well. "Just curious. Can't see my own reflection very well these days, so-"
"They're blue," Y/N blurted. "Blue like the shade of where the sky met the sea."
"Heh, now you're doing it on purpose," Sabo moved unexpectedly. Raising his hand to press Y/N’s closer. Eyes shutting tighter and face going a darker shade of red as he held her palm against his cheek.
"Doing what?"
He didn't answer.
Y/N softly sighed. "It's alright," she murmured, soft and airy like a lullaby. "Whatever you're thinking now, I just want you to know--" Keeping her right hand on Sabo's cheek, Y/N raised her left hand to push his bangs up and over his head. Ever so tender, Y/N lifted her head, closed her eyes--and pressed her lips to his forehead.
Skin on skin, a delicate kind of affection. A wordless prayer of gratitude. Thank you. A vow of devotion. I love you To the shambled claws of scarring that stretched towards his temple. To the boy her survived it all and saved her life. Always have, and always will. "I just want you to know...I'm so glad I met you. Wouldn't miss it for the world."
*** A/N: AHHH! Okay, so I know I didn't *fully* fulfil the prompt that inspired this post. But damn this thing was getting long, so I think I'd have to split it into a part 2 to finish the prompt. If ya'll be interested in that, let me know!
P.S. Reblog the easter eggs if ya'll catch any non-One Piece references, lol
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lilac-5ky · 2 years
Note
I just read your latest Takasugi headcanon/drabble/idk what to call it and now I am curious
What IS in his shopping list👁️👄👁️
Like it got to my head and now I NEED TO KNOW
Lmao anyways u can share your headcanons on it if you actually have any specific thoughts. I'd just like to know lol
Somehow, I knew I had it coming 😂But, as always, I'm going to be serious about it and I'll give it some proper thinking!
Let me start by saying that Takasugi doesn't just go shopping whenever he pleases. For starters, he is a terrorist and a wanted man, he can't just walk in Edo Mart and be like yo, what aisle for brussels sprouts? And even if he wasn't can you imagine Takasugi just strolling through the supermarket, comparing prices and reading the additives of each product? 😂 Not gonna lie, I pity the employees, he'd just give them THE STARE. What do you mean you have no yakult? 👀 Don't get me wrong, he'd be a very respectful customer, wouldn't cause any trouble. Unless he ran into Gintoki, then he might as well bury his face in the first shelf he finds. But anyways, anyways, let's not get off topic here!
Takasugi would rarely shop by himself and most of the time, Matako or someone else would personally handle his shopping list. But on the rare occasion he goes shopping, then this is what I would imagine his list to be!
Warning: SOME OF IT MAKES ZERO SENSE OKAY but I'm getting a vibe for it, I promise
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his look when they are out of his beloved beverage :)))))))
Sugi's Shopping List
Yakult
it's his priority, he loves it, come on!
Yoghurt
considering how he likes yakult so much, I can see him getting behind yoghurt honestly. Even having a bit of a childish eating habit and picking those flavored small yoghurts that are meant for kids. I don't think he'd openly admit to it that's why it's something he'd purchase when going shopping on his own.
String Cheese
another childish habit I can see him having. string cheese is something he can eat on the run and basically, many of the foods I'm going to include are ones you can eat on the go. basically snacks that don't need to be prepared and can be consumed as they are.
Tofu
even if he might indulge himself in certain western delicacies, at his core, Takasugi is a traditional man. rather than actual cheese, he'd opt for tofu.
Eggs
eggs are just... eggs, you know? so many dishes include them, so yeah.
Tea leaves
but you know, not the cheap Lipton ones. he has high standards after all! rather than coffee, I see him more as a tea kinda guy buuuut
Coffee Beans
he would like to have some coffee around and I feel like he'd be good at brewing it himself, just like his tea. i can see him and bansai sitting together while drinking either, honestly.
Water
he is a human, humans drink water, what can I say? plus, i doubt he can find high quality water lying in space.
Fruits and Vegetables
now this is the harder for me to think, because i can't really tell what kind of fruits or veggies he'd prefer. i feel like he is into healthy food, considering how yakult is basically probiotics and if he could afford to have a proper meal, he'd go for it. i can see him being into berries (NOT STRAWBERRIES BECAUSE GIN which actually arent berries at all but eh), grapes, lychees, persimmons, dates, plums or perhaps the occasional apple too. i'm afraid i can't offer an exact explanation as to why i chose these specific ones but eh, it be like this sometimes. about veggies now, lotus roots, edamame, yams, cabbage, daikon, seaweed (not really a veggie but dk what to consider it here ;-;), mushrooms and beets. i wanna say eggplants too because they are purple and well... heh.
i guess something these things have in common are that they can be either eaten individually, or are widely used in japanese cuisine.
Nuts
YEAH YEAH, I CAN HEAR THE SNICKERS FROM HERE ABOUT THIS ONE. still, nuts are a great source of NUTrients. also for some reason, i can see Takasugi liking something that requires a bit of work? now this will sound weird af but i can totally imagine him spitting the shells (or seeds since i mentioned fruits) at gintoki or people who annoy him (throwback sakamoto spit translate scene). i dont know, maybe it's because he smokes, maybe it's because he uses his fingers a lot WHEN PLAYING THE SHAMISEN, DON'T GET ME WRONG, i can see him liking foods that need some work. that's what i meant. yeah? yeah.
Sweets?
i don't see him as a sweet kinda guy, not gonna lie. but, perhaps he would indulge in an occasional chocolate candy bar. perhaps a darker chocolate? if he got a craving, i'd still think he'd opt for more traditional stuff so, perhaps dorayaki or mochi would catch his eye, if the store had some premade ones.
Miso paste
absolute MUST for breakfast.
Rice
Gum?
this one is debatable. he is a smoker, he has shitty breath, gum is easy to pop in for some freshness i guess. if he needed to have a clean breath, this is the lazy way to do it.
Soy sauce
the answer to the eternal debate of ketchup vs mayo would be soy sauce for him. this is the way of the ancestors, somehow.
Noodles
another no brainer. if you ask me, he is more of a soba kinda guy though.
Meat/Fish
usually he doesn't buy such things himself. he isn't the one to cook his own meals so... plus, meat and fish take a long of time to prepare. i think of him more as a fish kinda guy, not sure why though. if he can get his hands on some fresh fish, he'll go for it.
OH AND, not exactly fish but, Mentaiko!
Onigiri
Takasugi is a bit of a sentimental fool, no denying here. onigiri is a food linked to his childhood and to Katsura. he would eat such things behind everyone's back and if anyone noticed and asked him if he wanted some, he'd deny it, claiming that he hated the taste of him. still, i feel like it's a food he'd buy without second thought, if he happened to find it in the store.
Jelly Beans
another troll-y food choice. they are tasty and can be eaten on the go. i can see him being very picky about the order he eats them in, going as far as to not eat a certain type of flavor at all!
Alcohol
man needs to drown his pain somehow. Sake, Umeshu, Nigori, Shochu, i can see him drinking each of them. usually with Bansai, he is his certified drinking buddy. sometimes Matako and Takechi join too but they get wasted! Matako gets all flustered, attaching herself to him "Shinsuke sam~AaaaaaAAAa", she is just a mess. Takechi's lolicon comments intensify and he might honestly try to annoy Matako who just gets defensive and cries harder while wiping her nose on Takasugi's sleeve... yeah....no, it's better if he just drinks with Bansai on second thought.
Hygiene Products
i feel like Takasugi is very hygienic when he can afford to be. he is someone who obviously puts thought in his appearance and so i can see shampoo and shower gels being up high in his list. funnily enough, i can see him as someone who could potentially get behind bath bombs! they are relaxing, have a certain aesthetic and hey, BUBBLES! but mainly, i feel like he is a soap bar kinda type. he prefers clean scents without bells and whistles. perhaps something that has a bit of a flowery scent? basically relaxing stuff. definitely an ylang ylang or sandalwood kinda guy (damn i'm reading too much into it). also toothbrush, toothpaste, the usual stuff. floss too. gotta wash the tobacco away.
oh and of course, he is clueless about detergents. he doesn't handle that at all, Matako takes care of his laundry somehow. he frowned upon her about it in the start, but she's managed to find a smell he likes so they are good.
Tobacco
wasn't sure if i should add that because not all regular stores have that but yeah, he needs it for his kiseru!
MAN, I spent so much time thinking about this. Not in a million years would I ever think that I'd be writing Takasugi Shinsuke's personal shopping list. But there is always a first, I guess! These are just my opinions/headcanons/guts, call them whatever you want, really. Some of these have a base I guess while others are just hunches.
Hope this wasn't too out of character, hey, I DID MY BEST! I loved this ask though, it was so particular and different from what I usually do or think about.
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therenlover · 4 years
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How The Evans (+ Quicksilver) Would React To Yoplait’s New Gushers Yogurt
a/n: I don’t honestly know how I came up with this. I guess I just really liked the yogurt I bought (I have big Gilear Faeth vibes rn) and decided I wanted to share it with all the Evans and you guys. I hope you enjoy and, like, maybe go buy some if you’re intrigued.
Warnings: Mild language, very small non-graphic mention of murder, recreational drug usage (Tate is a stoner, sue me)
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Tate Langdon
Because he died as a teen in the early 90′s, Tate would be a big fan of the types of crazy, super processed and flashy snacks that came out of that era.
Tate pretty much lived on 3D Doritos and Crystal Pepsi before his death. He still misses Dunkaroos.
He also has the biggest appetite of any ghost in the house because when he smokes he gets phantom munchies, so he sneaks into the kitchen and steals snacks to fulfill his cravings.
His first encounter with gushers yogurt would be on a snack run for the two of you while you were both zooted to high hell. 
He would return almost entirely snackless, fully fixated on the little yellow cup in his hand. 
“What the hell is this?” “Uh, yogurt?” “No, it’s not just yogurt, it’s weird!”
You’d finally look up from your place on the bed to find Tate in the doorway, red eyed, giving the yogurt cup a thousand yard stare.
Tate would be extremely confused because as far as he knew gushers were filled fruit snacks and definitely did NOT belong inside yogurt.
“Does it have gushers in it or something? Because that sounds awful,” “Kind of? It’s like... well, it would be easier to show you than to explain it. Did you bring a spoon?”
Of course he hadn’t.
When he did return with a spoon the two of you shared it.
Unsurprisingly, Tate didn’t hate it. It was a little weird, but overall it reminded him of the rare good times he had when he was still alive and the house hadn’t fully sunk it’s claws into him yet.
His favorite flavor is green apple. It just matches his vibe. 
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Kit Walker
Kit is a man with pretty old fashioned values. He’s the kind of person who believes that he should be able to provide for his family so you don’t have to work. He also thinks it’s important for you to spend time with the kids because he’s gone at work so much.
This whole situation combined with the fact that money was a little tight led to you taking Thomas and Julia with you whenever you had to run errands and they weren’t at school.
One such time you were grocery shopping. That’s when they found the gushers yogurt.
 Kids have an eye for sweet things. Any food labelled like a dessert will make them go crazy, even if it’s just a flavored yogurt. 
In the end you bought a few. They were cheap enough that they didn’t make a huge difference to your budget and they were perfect to go in the kids lunches. 
Only the next morning did you realize that when you got the kids their yogurts you forgot to get Kit his own plain ones to put in his lunch. You mulled over your options and, in the end, decided to give Kit one of the gushers ones in his lunch pail for work. it’s just flavored yogurt, what could go wrong?
A lot, apparently.
At around lunch time you got a call from Kit at the shop.
“Mrs. Walka’, I believe I might have picked up the wrong lunch today,”
You’d immediately ask him what was wrong before remembering the yogurt.
“Nope, that’s yours Kit,” “Sweetheart, you’re killing me,” “Did I forget a spoon?”
Kit would explain, after some laughter, that the guys at the auto shop were giving him shit about the ‘kids yogurt’ in his lunch.
If you tried to apologize he’d stop you. It was all the same to him, he just wanted to make sure he hadn’t taken one of the kid’s lunches accidentally.
You’d laugh about it later as a bright spot in what ended up to be a long and tedious day for the both of you.
Besides that one occasion Kit wouldn’t eat gushers yogurt often, but sometimes if he was home during breakfast he’d have a cup of it with his cereal or toast.
He’s a fan of the classics, so his favorite flavor is tropical punch.
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Kyle Spencer
Before his death, Kyle wouldn’t have any strong feelings towards gushers yogurt besides liking that it was a cheap snack that went on sale a lot.
As a broke college student with a calcium deficiency, he would appreciate it for what it was, a sweet means to an end.
After his death, though, it would be a different story.
Franken-Kyle had to re-learn all of his basic life skills from the ground up after the accident, which meant chewing food and not choking weren’t things he knew how to do automatically
In the time while he still couldn’t eat by himself, you fed him a lot of yogurt.
Most of the time it was cheaper and more pleasant that the baby food or health puree alternatives. It also was a food he had eaten pretty regularly when he was alive, so you thought it might make him happy to have some sense of normalcy in his new world.
He enjoyed the gushers yogurt particularly for a few reasons.
For one, it had fun colors! The bright reds, blues, and greens were entertaining and more mentally stimulating than the normal neutral colors of his food. It was also sweet, kind of like a dessert instead of a meal.
The big selling point, though, was the popping bubbles inside.
For a while after his death all Kyle ate were smooth semi-liquid foods he couldn’t possibly choke on while he re-learned how to feed himself. Gushers yogurt, though, had little popping bubbles that added texture while also not being large enough to choke on.
It was a win-win for both of you.
Even once Kyle had regained his ability to chew and eat normally, he still liked to have gushers yogurt with his breakfast.
“Bu...bbles,” “Huh?” “I want....bubbles” “Oh! You want the yogurt with the bubbles, Ky? I’ll get it in a second,” 
He wouldn’t have the words to express it, but the real reason Kyle likes gushers yogurt and continues to eat it is that it reminds him of you and the time you spent together while you taught him how to live again. 
His favorite is blue raspberry by a large margin. He enjoys tropical punch too, but he dislikes green apple.
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Jimmy Darling
Jimmy has very few opinions when it comes to food. To him, eating is just something he has to do to keep himself alive and performing, so he doesn’t put much thought into what and when he eats, even at the diner.
When you first met him, he was barely eating one good meal a day just because he was so busy. 
So, one of the things you started to do when you and Jimmy got closer was bring him little snacks throughout the day he could eat quickly to keep him going.
They weren’t huge things, just an apple here and a sandwich there, but Jimmy really appreciated you putting in the effort to search him out and keep him healthy.
 The gushers yogurt would be introduced, once again, because it’s super inexpensive. 
You were out shopping for Jimmy’s snacks when you found it on sale, 20 for $10. It was a great deal, and Jimmy’s diet was severely lacking in calcium, so you bought a bunch of different flavors and brought one to him as a trial-run the next day after a performance.
“Hey dollface, you got something for me?” “I just might,” 
Only after he swept you up into a crushing hug would you be able to offer him the yogurt, which he’d take gratefully and eat in less than a minute. 
You took this as a good sign, and ended up buying some for Jimmy whenever it was on sale.
He asked you about why you bought them once and you genuinely couldn’t give him an answer. You just thought they were an easy snack and found they were on sale a lot more often than other things were.
Jimmy doesn’t have a favorite flavor, but if you asked him he’d just respond with whatever your favorite was.
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James Patrick March
James Patrick March doesn’t usually have strong feelings about trivial things. As a serial killer and a ghost, small strange details of life in the 21st century just aren’t important enough for him to care about. Even modern foods with all of their artificial dyes and preservatives don’t tend to bother him. Well, all except one...
He fully believes that gushers yogurt is the worst, most evil thing that man has ever created in history, including himself.
It is entirely irrational how much he hates it.
The weirdest part is that he doesn’t mind how it tastes, he just has a random grudge against it by principle.
The first time he saw it was after Liz picked some up for you while she was out getting some groceries for the hotel.
James had come into the habit of asking you to make him grocery lists so the hotel had foods you enjoyed ever since the hoover stew incident. This time you had asked for something sweet you could eat as a snack between meals. Liz ended up picking out the gushers yogurts along with a few other little snacks
When you ran down to the kitchen to help Liz and Iris put the groceries away you grabbed a cup and ended up taking it upstairs so you could eat something while you were reading in bed.
It just so happens that James was finishing up with some office work and walked into your room right as you ate a spoonful of the bright blue yogurt. 
He was, to say the very least, concerned. 
Why was it that color? Food is not supposed to be that color???? And what were those little lumps?
While he fussed over your health, you held out your spoon and offered him a bite. He was skeptical at first, and his fears were only confirmed when he accepted the bite.
His delicate 1920′s tastebuds couldn’t take it.
“Darling, how do you eat that slop?” “James, it’s just yogurt!” “That is not yogurt, it’s an affront to the universe,”
Never one to back down in the face of James, you asked Liz to keep buying them every time she went out for groceries
Things were quiet until, a few months later, you found James standing over a recent kill eating a gushers yogurt.
“Darling, this isn’t what it looks like,” “I think it’s exactly what it looks like,” “There wasn’t anything else in the fridge,” “James, you’re dead. You don’t have to eat,” “...drat,”
James is adamant that he doesn’t have a favorite flavor because he hates it.... but its actually tropical punch.
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Rory Monahan 
Rory normally wouldn’t feel any which way about gushers yogurt.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s a goof and has nothing against eating fun little dessert yogurt, there’s just no reason for him or you to buy and eat it.
But if he got a brand deal with Yoplait to advertise it?
Count him in.
You’re eating gushers yogurt with every meal while he vlogs.
Breakfast? Yup. Lunch? Yup. Dinner? Yup.
Oh, you’re getting a snack? Well the only snack Rory bought when he ran out to the store is gushers yogurt. 
It’s all over his social media.
He ends up becoming the face of Yoplait and does quite a few primetime commercials, which surprisingly help out with his career. Think what Shaq is the The General Auto Insurance. 
“Now with new popping bubbles that gush with roarin’ fruity flavor,” “pffffft!” “What! It’s paying our bills!” 
Despite being surrounded by gushers yogurt, Rory wouldn’t actually have a favorite flavor. Once you eat that much yogurt it all tastes exactly the same.
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Kai Anderson
Kai... well Kai is a tough one, as usual.
He’s not someone who likes to be perceived as weak, and what’s weaker than a man who’s seen eating flavored yogurt made for kids?
Well, a lot of things, but Kai’s toxic masculinity doesn’t let him see that.
In his eyes, gushers yogurt is simply not befitting of the divine ruler.
If you were close enough to him to offer some in a private moment, he’d probably find some way to use it in a weird, extended metaphor about the world in the hopes of manipulating you.
“In this world there’s people like me, like this yogurt, and people like you, fragile bubbles waiting to burst and spread your issues to the people who can still be saved. People like me cushion-” “Oh shut up and eat your yogurt, Kai,” 
Kai doesn’t have a favorite flavor, but kind of like James he’s only being pretentious. Who knew divine rulers are above picking favorite flavors?
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Peter Maximoff
Peter would be the most on-board of anybody on the gushers yogurt trend. Like, even more on board than Kyle. 
This man uses a loooot of energy while he’s running around, so he needs super sugary foods like twinkies to be around for his inevitable snackfests at random hours of the day.
He also loves junk food. At one point you started wondering whether the X-gene prevented Peter from getting cavities, because he eats more sugar than anybody else you know. 
You like to go shopping with Peter because it keeps him from stealing (well, keeps him from stealing as much, but that’s beside the point) and even though he acts like a literal child whenever you make him come with you, he appreciates slowing down and spending time doing something you like.
Usually he gets bored easily in the “healthy food” aisles at the grocery store, meaning anything that isn���t the soda, chips, or snack aisles, but during a random trip to the store he suddenly rushed off out of your sight while you were in the dairy aisle picking up cottage cheese.
When he came back a second later, his arms were full of yogurt.
“Peter, what are you doing?” “Have you seen these? Look at the flavors! They have starburst, and key lime pie, and gushers with popping beads!!!! Popping! Beads!”
You would try to insist that he didn’t need to buy that much yogurt, especially because he hadn’t tried it before and didn’t know if he’d like it, but Peter would give you his world famous puppy dog eyes and you’d give in. 
From then on he’d have gushers yogurt (and starburst yogurt, to be honest) in his mini-fridge most of the time.
You didn’t mind. Technically it was healthier than his twinkie addiction, so as long as your speedster was getting calcium in his diet you weren’t about to complain.
He probably has stronger bones than Wolverine with all the yogurt he eats.
His favorite flavor is green apple, but he’d say it’s blue raspberry to go with his aesthetic. 
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kyloswarstars · 3 years
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ROOMMATES • Part 4
Divergent • College AU • Eric x Reader
ROOMMATES masterlist 💫 Divergent masterlist
You escaped your current living situation by moving in with your friend Christina – and five other college students. Little did you know that one of them was the guy who was your ultimate pain in the neck since your first semester. Now, you had to find a way to not strangle him in his sleep out of pure frustration. Also, you had to find a way to get rid of those weird butterfly feelings for him that slowly grew in your stomach.
Words • 2.3k
Warnings • mentions of drug use and unsettling text messages
The enemies to lovers story no one needed.
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In the following weeks you noticed Eric’s drive to make your life extra hard, by going against your opinions, decreased. You got along. Occasionally, your thoughts drifted back to that weird moment in the furniture store. Holding hands. And his fingers trying to intertwine with yours. If that was a deliberate action or an automatic reaction – you couldn’t say. All you knew was that the memory of it made your stomach twist and you didn’t like that.
The number of folded papers in your pockets had increased immensely. They were pulled out under the dinner table when you couldn’t endure Eric’s stares anymore. Or while waiting for the shower to be free. Or right after the ‚GN‘ knock at night when that stupid smile on your lips didn’t want to leave.
It was Friday. Friday was the weekly grocery haul day. It was your second time having to fulfil that task. The first time it had been with Tris who patiently showed you what everyone’s favorite snack was – Eric’s were those little pretzels covered in chocolate – and what kind of vegetables were an ultimate must buy.
It was Friday. And this time you had to go shopping with Eric. In the morning he told you to get read for noon. At noon he told you to get ready for five. At five he tried to push it back once more but you grew impatient.
„If we don’t go now, we don’t have to go at all today. All the fresh stuff will be gone,“ you pointed out, grabbed your backpack and didn’t leave him a choice anymore really. You put on your shoes and left the apartment. Eric was rambling something as he came rushing down the stairs after you.
„Where did you park?“
„Left.“
You walked ahead and tried to spot his car without being able. Further down the road you started to cross a street and suddenly felt a hand around your wrist. Eric nodded behind his back. „This way.“
His hand was immediately gone after telling you to change directions. Still, the spots where his fingertips had touched your skin was burning as if they had left marks. I don’t like that at all.
You were well prepared. After all you had the complete day to brace yourself for the struggle you expected. The shopping list was in your pocket, though not the only paper in there, the community money was in your backpack and you took a drag, or five, of Will’s joint earlier.
The store wasn’t that filled as you thought it would be on a Friday. Good. A lot of people made you nervous.
Eric pushed the cart and already at the first stop, fruit section, he remembered that your last discussion had been a few days ago. Too long. Time to settle for a new one.
„Take the blueberries.“ He pointed to the little containers as if you didn’t know what blueberries were.
„I want apples so I’m getting apples,“ you stated.
„Blueberries are super high on antioxidants, you know.“
„Cool but I don’t want to eat thirty tiny things. I want to eat one thing.“
„Fine. But I want blueberries.“
„Then take them yourself. You’re not decoration, Eric. You have hands to use them.“ You shook your head at how ridiculous he was. You weren’t his personal shopping assistant, this was a team work thing.
The veggie section wasn’t any better. You just tried to work your way through the shopping list and directed Eric on what else to pick. Admittedly, since living with your roommates, your eating got a lot healthier because they actually knew how to cook.
You completed the booze area, cheese heaven and dairy aisle without any further debates and turned into a new aisle. Then took a step back out of it again to look down the hallway.
„What now?“ Eric stopped the cart in time before running you over.
„I thought I saw someone I know.“ No one was there though. And if that person, you that had been there, really was there, you were glad they disappeared. Meeting ghosts from the past was under no circumstances something you wanted to happen while Eric was around.
Snack aisle. You grabbed some nuts for you and also the chocolate pretzels without thinking twice. Which caused another awkward moment when you placed them in the cart. Was life to be full of awkward moments now?
Eric looked at you bluntly, then forced a smile on his lips. You picked out the favorite snacks of your other roommates as well to show that his wasn’t the only one you remembered.
Whenever you turned into a new aisle you nervously checked if there was a ghost from the past. You never found one and were incredibly relieved when you made it through check out and had stored all the groceries in Eric’s trunk. And the backseat.
„Smartie waved at me yesterday,“ Eric said as the car rolled from the parking lot onto the street.
„Are you sure you didn’t imagine that?“
„It was close enough to be counted as a wave,“ he admitted. Though, talking about penguins broke the tense atmosphere. You hadn’t even been on the road for a minute and Eric pulled into another parking lot. He stopped at a diner drive thru window. „Milkshake?“
„Doesn’t look like I can say no now that we’re here.“
He rolled down his window and you were greeted by a waitress. She asked what she could serve you.
„Two milkshakes,“ Eric turned to you. „What flavour do you want?“
You leaned over to the window. „Strawberry, please,“ you smiled at the waitress and found yourself – too close to Eric’s face. Half leaning on his chest he mumbled a ‚for me too‘. Yep. Life would be full of awkward moments from now on.
You saved yourself to the passenger side and tried to hide the heat rising in your face by looking out the window. In fact you rolled it down to get a cool breeze. No chance, though. Chicago didn’t want to help you with that today.
„There you go!“ The waitress handed your milkshakes to Eric and you carefully made sure that this time your fingers wouldn’t touch. You sipped on your milkshake all the way back to the apartment.
The more often you took the way up and down the three flights of stairs, the more your muscles grew used to it. On moving day your legs had trembled so bad. Now, that all the groceries were up in the apartment you didn’t notice a single muscle being impressed by the stairs anymore.
Eric kneeled at the fridge, you handed him all the groceries that had to go in there. When you fished his blueberries out of the bag you couldn’t bite back a remark.
„Here, Eric. May they taste as good as my apples.“
He just shook his head and put them away. Once all the food that had to be cooled was put away, you stole away to sit on the balcony and finish your milkshake. He actually joined you.
„Why do you want to become a doctor?“ That question slipped faster than you had thought it to an end in your head.
„The obvious reason. To help people.“ He sipped as loudly on his milkshake as you did. „Why are you studying math out of all terrible things?“
„Same reason as yours,“ you bluntly stated.
„Yeah?“ Eric had stared at you ever since you sat down on the balcony. You had noticed that out of the corner of your eye. Now you looked at him as well.
„Yes.“ A smile grew on your lips. That was what you hoped you would be able to do one day.
/////
The evening atmosphere on the balcony was relaxing. Will came and joined Eric and you at some point. Then Christina got back home as well. One after the other found a spot on the balcony floor to squeeze in and contributed to a growing conversation.
It was warm instead of hot and Four provided everyone with beer. Tris suggested to head out to the beach all together soon. Everyone was all hyped for her plan and you hoped they wouldn’t notice that your excitement for that was just nonexistent. Nevertheless you enjoyed them making plans for everyone together. Christina didn’t exaggerate when she said, all those weeks ago when she suggested for you to move in, that all the roommates were like family.
Eric got out of one of the two lounge chairs. „Who wants pizza?“ And that question was the most rhetorical question he could’ve asked his roommates. Because everyone wanted pizza.
In this house pizza was made all by hand. So far the only pizza you had eaten here were takeouts someone brought home. The thought of completely self-made pizza sounded too good to be true.
Eric navigated his kitchen ‚staff‘. It seemed that when it came to pizza, he was the chef.
„Tris and Chris, you’re slicing the veggies. The guys can prep the tomato sauce.“ You waited to get a task too but so far he didn’t trust you with anything.
Eric grabbed flour from the shelf, oil and some water and yeast from the fridge. He placed it all in front of you on the countertop and fetched a bowl out of the cupboard. Balancing some sugar and salt down from the shelf, he came to stand right next to you.
„Did you ever make pizza dough yourself?“ He lowered his head a little for you to understand him better with the loud bantering about the vegetables that was going on behind your backs.
„Not really.“ You were a little overwhelmed. Not even cookie dough was within the realm of possibility for you.
„Wanna try?“ Eric’s voice sounded encouraging. He must’ve noticed the look of horror on your face.
„Don’t blame me if it’s gonna be a total mess.“
„No worries,“ he stated and he lowered his face a little more. „I’ll teach you step by step.“ His body came closer as well. It actually closed that little gap between your sides as he reached for the yeast. He crumbled it into lukewarm water and told you to add some salt and sugar. It had to set for ten minutes until you could continue with the flour. And during those ten minutes you realised that his body didn’t accidentally close that gap between your sides. Eric did it on purpose and he held it there. You sensed he gave you the chance to bring some space between you again but… you didn’t want to. You physically couldn’t, just couldn’t break the contact. It was way too intriguing, almost electrifying. And for ten minutes straight, he lowered his upper body to shield your nonchalant conversation about penguins – of course – from the others.
When the yeast-water-mix was ready, his following instructions were only whispers, so you had to keep close to him. Why was he doing that?
He added the mix to the flour, along with some oil, and dug his hands in to start kneading. The way his hands applied pressure, provided by his arms, made you… look. To say the least. To be honest, it turned into a very distracting sight. Eric kneading pizza dough? Come on. You had to give in and admit to yourself that this was something you couldn’t deny being totally sexy. The arm muscle escalation, whenever he flipped the dough and kneaded in once again set off a chain of thoughts you really didn’t want to have in a kitchen full of roommates.
„Wanna try?“ Eric asked with a brief glance in your direction, luckily unaware of your current admiration for his arms.
„Nah,“ you mumbled. In hopes to keep watching his arms. You were able to do so for a few more minutes. And were entirely embarrassed when you turned around to find Christina and Tris look at you with a mischievous grin on their lips. You deserved that.
From then on you kept a good distance between Eric and you. While the dough had to rest some. Later during making the pizzas and baking them. Only twice you met eyes with him during dinner. He probably didn’t even notice. After all, why did your brain make such a big deal about it? You were certainly not playing in Eric’s league nor was there even profound reason to think about that.
You were just roommates. Former enemies going onto maybe being some sort of friends.
And then there was a knocking on your wall again. Long, long, short. Long, short. GN. You turned to your wall and foolishly smiled at it. When you didn’t respond right away, the knocking was repeated.
Just as you wanted to knock good night as well your phone buzzed. For a second your pulse quickened, wondered if it was Eric because you didn’t respond soon enough.
You fished for your phone and unlocked it. It wasn’t Eric.
you were seen today
Your heart stopped for a second and then started beating in light speed all of a sudden. You opened the chat.
was that your new lover? already got someone new whose life you can fuck up?
or did you break up because of him?
The text messages didn’t end. Peter still understood very well how to provoke and intimidate you.
ANSWER ME
Do you think I’m just gonna let that sit???
You left the chat and threw it into your sheets. It bounced with a thud up and against the wall but you didn’t care. You searched hectically for a paper but all the clothes you grabbed were empty. The phone buzzed again. First you didn’t pick it up, scared it was Peter again. Then you rummaged around your sheets to find it because maybe it was Eric this time asking what that sound was. It wasn’t Eric. Again.
you’ll regret it. believe me y/n
/////
Taglist • @longlostinanotherworld • @dosentier • @dhunhdchrih • @coryisagee
73 notes · View notes
sepublic · 3 years
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When Eda/Luz is Threatened...
           Okay, I know @novelist-becca already went over this in the past, but screw it, I’m in the mood to gush about Eda and Luz, so;
           It’s worth noting that there’s a pretty clear difference between how Eda reacts towards someone who threatens her, VS someone who threatens Luz. Tibbles and Lilith serve as pretty good control groups, given how they’ve interacted with Eda and Luz separately on a different basis, and Eda’s reaction to them in each scenario clearly differs…
           In Tibbles’ case- There isn’t any retaliation to begin with, at first! Yeah Eda hates his guts, but as soon as she gets her elixir, she and King just ditch him to his fate. Eda doesn’t even know that the Mud & Sundry stand is about to collapse on Tibbles when she leaves, so from her perspective, HER issue with getting the elixir is well and done- And that’s it! No need for revenge, Eda has no pragmatic quarrel with Tibbles, and it’s very practical of her as a result.
           …But when Tibbles threatens Luz, King, Willow, and Gus? When he tried to KILL them outright, whereas the last time, he just dressed King up in cute clothes? THEN Eda retaliates violently… Tibbles’ scheme is already ruined and she could easily steal his snails for herself, the kids and King are safe, Eda herself had no participation in Tibbles’ scheme… But the kids were threatened, and Eda goes out of her way to dump a bunch of crab-apples upon Tibbles, setting him up to be eaten alive by his own animals- She’s trying to kill him here, and honestly, I can’t blame her.
           Eda’s lax attitude towards Tibbles is also prevalent early in Really Small Problems; He’s apparently been trying to send her death threats, and even if that wasn’t Tibbles… Eda seems more concerned about Tibbles’ potential plot towards her, than actually getting back at him for past incidents. Even when she easily sees past Tibbles’ attempt to poison her, Eda just… Goes on with her day, doesn’t bother with Tibbles. She leaves him be, repeatedly spares him of her own volition- And so Tibbles pushes his luck when he targets Luz. THEN he only has himself to blame when Eda sets him up to die; If we never see Tibbles again after this, it’d be a safe assumption to say he actually gets killed off-screen because of Eda.
           All in all, Eda’s attitude towards Tibbles is incredibly lax- Yeah he’s a threat to her, yeah he’s annoying and despicable… But otherwise Eda only does what needs to be done, until Luz is threatened. This pairs well with her interactions with Lilith- Lilith is set to capture Eda… And obviously, Lilith doesn’t plan to actually kill Eda, Lilith thinks she’s helping Eda, and also they’re both sisters who –mostly- know one another… So yeah, that plays a role into Eda not feeling all too threatened nor preemptively defensive when Lilith is around. She lets Lilith into her space, doesn’t try to strike back in anticipation UNTIL Lilith messes up…
           And even then, Eda never actually aims to hurt Lilith! She goes out of her way to save her, and their duel in Covention was clearly treated as more of a fun spat than an actual attempt to hurt each other! Eda seemed to treat it that way at least, and when her curse is brought up, Lilith makes it clear again that, yes, she doesn’t actually mean to hurt Eda (even if she still does anyway by accident).
           But then Luz is captured, and… Well, Eda’s downright murderous attitude towards Lilith says more than enough. When she confronts her sister minutes before execution, Eda first mentions Lilith hurting LUZ above all-else, as if that’s more important to her than being cursed. And, I can see why- The curse happened years ago. Eda knows that Lilith has been trying to fix the curse, that much was made clear since Sense and Insensitivity at the latest. She obviously regrets what she did, and hey, it was only at EDA…
           But Luz didn’t deserve to be threatened. Luz didn’t deserve to almost die, whereas Lilith’s curse never physically harmed Eda, at least not in a direct sense. And it’s King vouching for Lilith by pointing out that she helped LUZ, that Eda then stops her attack- That, and to also not hurt King. Eda seems to care more about Lilith hurting her found family, and conversely, that means Eda is less than impressed by attempts to appease her; But attempts to make up by appeasing the ones she loves and helping them, THAT changes her tune!
           Which, one could perhaps get into speculation that maybe this relates to Eda perhaps not thinking very highly of herself… Or at the very least, she of course values her loved ones WAY more than she does herself, which doesn’t necessarily mean Eda has any low self-esteem! She definitely seems confident enough and it’s not exactly an illusion, but Eda’s own pride in herself could’ve partly stemmed as a survival tactic from the pain and ostracization of the curse by others, being persecuted by the Emperor’s Coven, etc. She does seem to genuinely believe what she says, Eda isn’t just saying it to fool herself- And while there are cracks in the façade here or there, they seem more standard insecurities, and not pointing to Eda making everything up.
           Really, you could go out and say that this evokes the attitude of Eda not really blaming people for being mad at her, even! She knows she’s mischievous and a troublemaker, a rascal who revels into it- She’s a pickpocket and well aware of it… Eda has a tendency to intentionally aggravate others, so she figures it’s not too personal if people hate her, because YEAH- If Eda met herself, she’d hate Eda too! It’s like Eda’s lowkey accepting and admitting her own flaws, or that in some scenarios, such as Tibbles in Hooty’s Moving Hassle- It isn’t meant to be anything personal besides individual gain and greed. It’s just someone trying to get by, even if it IS at the expense of someone else, but that’s about it. And even when Tibbles DOES try to get personal with Eda, again- She lets him be.
           Eda accepts that yeah, she IS a bit irritable and a mess, what about it? It is who she is, and HEY, she’s pretty empathetic, she can understand why people do things, she won’t hold a grudge… But when her own loved ones are threatened, that’s different, because they mean SO MUCH more to her! Not to mention Luz is a literal child and doesn’t deserve any attacks by whatever adult is targeting her… Eda’s willing to forgive and forget, but when it comes to Luz, hurting her apprentice/daughter is borderline unforgivable.
           Then we have people like Wrath; Eda seems like she could’ve initially humored his request to be his girlfriend for like, a day or two before she’d make it backfire on him… But then she notices Luz, who’s being physically harassed by Wrath, and she makes up her mind- If Luz has to put up with this danger and discomfort for even another second, and ploy or ruse to get by Wrath isn’t worth it! Eda will take him head-on, and even then… She makes it clear that her main concern is always Luz, she makes sure LUZ gets away from the Conformatorium, even at the risk of Eda’s self- It’s Luz who matters for Eda, it’s what happens to Luz that forms the basis of her priorities!
           We have Adegast, who Eda mostly knows as the creep who targeted Luz and held her hostage… And likewise, he had a LOT of those fake maps created, so who knows how many people he’d target, or already had? And how many of them are kids- These ‘Chosen One’ maps seem like they’d only work for the kind of young kid with that sort of imagination… So naturally, Eda doesn’t hesitate to kill Adegast by eating him alive, because hey, she can also get a snack out of it!
           There IS a bit of an exception in the Slitherbeast… However, the Slitherbeast isn’t some malicious adult- It’s literally just a wild animal, they don’t and usually can’t operate on our usual standards of morality. Not only that, but the Slitherbeast didn’t go out of its way to hurt Luz, it ony retaliated when she wounded it with a pretty huge fireball- And even then, it didn’t actually hurt Luz, it only succeeded in kidnapping Eda, Emira, and Edric. The Slitherbeast DOES at one point corner Luz later on, but she manages to fend for herself, and with everything mentioned above- And yeah, Eda isn’t going to hold any grudges against the wild animal that HAD been trying to mind its own business, when Luz had accidentally hurt it- And it’s not like it could’ve known that was an accident.
           So, Slitherbeast gets a pass. Then there’s Once Upon a Swap… Again, Lilith is a special case in that Eda knows she’s fundamentally a good person, they’re sisters and whatnot- And of course, Lilith doesn’t know she’s threatening Luz, she think she’s going after Eda, so Eda can’t blame her for intentionally trying to hurt Luz, that’s a pure accident that’s kind of Eda’s fault anyway. On the flipside, you have Boscha and her friends attacking King-in-Luz’s-body… And to be fair, it’s King- King can definitely get himself into deserved trouble. So they’re not REALLY retaliating against Luz for her own actions, it’s King for HIS own actions, even if they think it’s Luz… Plus, Boscha and her posse are literal kids.
           Aside from mixing everyone’s bodies up to provide cover for herself and the others, Eda doesn’t try to harm or retaliate! She doesn’t even try to get back at Roselle and Dottie, who tried to hold her prisoner! Again, Eda really is a forgive-and-forget kind of person, but when it comes to others… She can’t speak on their behalf, and she doesn’t ever want a kid like Luz to feel obligated to forgive an adult who hurt her. That’s not Luz’s responsibility, she shouldn’t have been hurt no matter what in the first place.
           Then we’ve got all those other episodes… Eda doesn’t know that Amity tried to get Luz dissected, and anyhow I doubt Amity actually intended for Luz to be hurt, just aiming for her to be pushed into a corner where she’s forced to out herself. Being a young kid like Luz, whom Eda knows is the child to Odalia and Alador, who likely stood out to her as a nasty bunch… And she can understand, even if it’s wrong- At least enough to not go out of her way to seek revenge on a literal child. This also applies to Covention, and Amity didn’t even try to hurt Luz, and as far as Eda knows, Luz agreed to that binding oath to not practice spells if she failed!
           Eda doesn’t know about the Demon Hunters who threatened Luz or the others… She DID meet them in Escape of the Palisman, but she doesn’t seem to recognize them, and clearly Luz and the others tried their best to cover up the incident. If Eda had recognized the Demon Hunters, I imagine she wouldn’t have just let things be, but who knows? She doesn’t hold anything against them, and in THAT case, they didn’t know Eda was a witch, they thought she was a wild animal out of control and a threat to others… Which she WAS (Eda even threatens Luz and King in that state), so Eda can’t blame them.
           Eda doesn’t know about what happened in Lost in Language… Mattholomule’s antics and that Detention Monster are already being resolved and anyhow aren’t life-threatening. Eda isn’t aware of what went on with the Bat Queen, but ultimately the Bat Queen turned around for Luz’s sake and only tried to chase off Luz for Owlbert’s sake, because Luz DID hurt Owlbert, so Eda can of course sympathize with that kind of protective nature- Plus Eda and the Bat Queen are on good terms and they love each others’ kids!
           Piniet… WELL, that’s an interesting conflict- If Luz and King hadn’t escaped, I also feel like Eda would’ve been VERY brutal with him, if aforementioned precedents set any example. She’d of course track down Piniet by learning about Ruler’s Reach, and Piniet would be in for a reckoning… Then we have The First Day, the Greater Basilisk is already incapacitated/dead by the time Eda arrives. Eda doesn’t know what goes on with Inner Willow, who only targets Amity from being literally set on fire… And while we don’t see Eda tackle Grom herself, she was obviously poised to beat it to kingdom come. And then there’s Boscha in Wing it like Witches, which Eda doesn’t know about, and also Boscha is a literal child.
           Repeating what is already well-established and obvious by this point- Eda seems to have an almost selfless double-standard… In that, she doesn’t really hold it against others who have a conflict with her, unless it’s a really personal betrayal like in Lilith’s case… But even then, Eda doesn’t go out of her way to kick an opponent when they’re down, or even hurt them, until Luz is threatened. And, I think that’s really sweet- Eda knows she’s flawed. Eda’s a full-grown adult, she’s definitely done things that would make people rightfully mad at her… But Luz?
          Even if she DID mess up, it’s definitely not out of malice, because that kid is trying her best- Plus she’s a KID, she doesn’t deserve to be hurt for that! Eda can understand if another kid doesn’t quite understand that, because children don’t think things through… But when an adult with power and age levies that over Luz the child? Eda doesn’t necessarily think of Luz as lesser or ‘weak’ for being a kid… More on that later… But while she wants Luz to be able to stand up for herself and be her own person, let her do things by her own request; As someone who was alone for so long, abandoned because of the curse and for being a criminal…
           Eda can’t bear to let Luz handle that burden on her own, even if she could- Because she’s a KID, she shouldn’t HAVE to do that in the first place! Eda’s not gonna fail Luz, not like how Gwendolyn seemed to fail her and Lilith… And, that plays into her kind of laughing off Luz’s attempt to take on Grom, when she first announces it! Eda doesn’t necessarily think of Luz as weak, and it’s clear that by the end of the day, she knows that as a kid, Luz shouldn’t be expected to handle that kind of terror… And this of course plays into how Eda has zero judgment when she reassures Luz and is ready to take on the responsibility of Grom, until Amity steps in. Coupled with giving the Witch’s Wool cloak to Luz (which Eda also had the concern that she herself wouldn’t need it soon enough), and Luz’s own accomplishments in the season finale… Managing to free Eda, fighting her way through the Conformatorium, instantly solo-ing Warden Wrath, and even damaging Belos?
           Coupled with how Eda has no issues with learning glyphs from Luz, because she believes and trusts in Luz’s guidance, knowledge, and skill as a witch- And I think it’s likely that Eda greatly respects Luz’s strength as a witch, if she hadn’t already… She was clever enough to figure out the glyphs, after all- And I think that REALLY began to change Eda’s perception of Luz’s potential, even beyond Luz rallying Tiny Nose and the others against Wrath, and having the maturity to dispel Adegast’s illusions! Luz wasn’t just strong in the emotional, spiritual sense- She has a real pragmatic cleverness, wit, adaptability, creativity, and now magical skill, that is worth recognizing and honing! And not just because she has no other choice, I think Eda genuinely trusts and respects Luz, to be willing to learn from her…
           …Even so- Eda’s totally going to freak out anyway if anyone keeps trying to threaten Luz, and dang it, she’ll do all she can to protect Luz, even if Luz is arguably more capable of defending herself now! Because she’s a kid, just because she can, doesn’t mean she should, Luz shouldn’t have to worry about that, screw anyone else who suggests otherwise!
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