#but it doesnt matter because im so proud either way

[lilioopdf]

i NEVER want to hear anyone say shit about my husband ever again

[shakethediseeas]

Do you think you could do sibling alien stage head cannons?? Like if the alien stage characters had little siblings, how would they act towards them?

i love all the ideas im getting I hope I don't let you guys down, I'm so hungry for Alien Stage content....

ALIEN STAGE CHAR WITH A LITTLE KID SIBLING

im imagining this as you being a child but if you want like a little sibling in the same age range uh I can do that if u ask....

IVAN

I feel like he'd cherish his sibling a lot, especially a younger one.  

He loves caressing your head, playing with your hair, 100% 

Or hold your hand and rub circles on the back of it while looking at you with a smile. 

He is always by their side, no matter what. If you're crying, he's there. If he chooses to run away, he takes you with him.  

The way he comforts you is by pressing your head against his chest and running his fingers through your hair before placing a small kiss on it, whispering quietly to help you release all negative emotion. 

He's a bit of a hypocrite when telling you what to do. He wants to send you on the right path in life because you deserve the best in the world, so of course, he's always giving you advice, caressing your head, and telling you via story books. 

He still manages to rub off on you, if you’re a ray of sunshine you have a serious look on your face and people get scared off and you don't mind much as long as you have your brother. 

You’re unafraid of the big dog like aliens who bare their teeth at people. You brainlessly put your head in its mouth or put your forehead to its nose and close your eyes, feeling a connection to it. 

Every time he finishes a song you run up to him which makes him smile, remembering partly who he is doing this for.  

If he ever had a friend to talk to, he’d always mention you, i mean, you’re all he has. 

And in return he would tell you about the people he knew, when you asked about Till he would tell you, but his head would be in the clouds. 

HYUNA

She doesn't lie to their sibling at all. You will know the situation, and she won't hide anything from you.

You need something? She always has your back. You're spoiled rotten.

She raised you to be tough and headstrong so that you could live your best life when you grow older.

She gets so excited every time she notices you growing older that she shakes or hugs you while jumping and showing you off to everyone. only to her close friends because shes a bit secretive about you.

gets really mad when someone she doesnt like mentions you

Loves to kiss your cheek, mwah mwah mwah! Before biting it playfully.

She wants you to know that you own yourself and don't have to please anyone to be happy! If you do something, it's because you want it!

When she notices that she's rubbing off on you, she squeals and tells her buddies, telling them she's so proud before rubbing your head to mess up your hair because you can't be cooler than her.

She'll hug you whenever you feel down and tell you it's all going to be alright, that no matter what, she was always there, and she'd kick anyone's ass for ya.

she's not a fan of getting all cheesy, so she'll squish your cheeks and tell you to raise your head high.

LUKA

He wants you to be independent so he does the worst thing he could possibly do. ignore you.

He thinks it will make you strong, so you'll be capable of handling things if he ever disappears, but it just makes you wish he'll acknowledge you.

You get everything that you want except your brother's attention.

So you do everything to try to impress him, even starting to practice singing and accomplishing every task given to you.

And when you're standing next to your brother in front of your owner, when the alien leaves, he just rubs your head and walks away with a small smile.

When he notices he's rubbing off on you he either frowns because who do you think you are? or he smirks and doesn't say anything.

He never talks with you, only really short talk

Whenever you show that you feel down, tears in your eyes as you call for your brother, he gets a bit angry. You shouldn't be showing that; you won't survive in this world if you do.

He'll probbaly slap you........

He's not good at caring for you; he doesn't know how much it would affect you.

MIZI

She'll do anything for you. She wants you to smile always.

Everything she does is for you. She always thinks about you every second, wondering when she'll get to see you.

She buys you many gifts, so don't ask her how she got them; she has her ways.

She sings you to sleep, picks flowers for you, and hugs you daily.

If anyone knew her, they know you're her number one priority.

If you ever feel down, she will sing you your favorite song and gently rock you to sleep, trying not to cry, too, because she's supposed to look strong for her sibling.

When you show similar behavior to her, she smiles and gets so happy she'll tell the whole world, similar to hyuna but she brags to everyone.

TILL

um.

He tries, he really does but he's a bad influence and tries to distance himself from you so you'll be safe.

another part of him is too love sick to have anyother resoponsability

But you dont know that nd so you stick to him as much as you can, showing off anything you made or just anything you learned to impress him.

all he does is nod not even looking your way before saying "yeah great job."

He yells at you only to protect you. he wants you to not be seen with him so you don't SEE how much trouble he is, how horrible he is.

he loves you, but hes let you go for the best........

sorry if Luka and Till's werent good, if u wan ill remke.... any ideas are welcomed , maybe part 2s

its 2 am........ ill catch up with the other requests soon/..

[brucewaynehater101]

Ok so ive had this idea stuck in my head for WEEKS at this point and i need to tell someone about it so im invading your asks

(ages for this au, id imagine Damians around like- 12 or 13 and Tim/JJ's like- 17)

What if a version of Damian (like from ine of the good happy batfam universes) was sent to to a universe with Joker Junior where the rest of the bats were killed by the Joker and JJ was never reacued and brought back to being Tim?

And Damian is like- terrified because he doesnt know where he is or how to get back home and then hes found by JJ.

And like- at first JJ would probably try to leave Damian but once he gets a good look at this kid baby brother, thats his baby brother- he would realize that he recognizes this kid. So he keeps him!

The only problem with that is the Joker. Now the bats are all dead (or theres circumstances preventing them from doing anything) in this universe so theres nobody around to stop the Jokers shit. And we all know that the Joker isnt above murdering or tourturing kids. (Id imagine the JJ of this universe has done stuff like that once or twice, but he doesnt like to. He's a smaller equally manical yet WAY less bloodthirsty version of the joker)

So JJ keeps Damian hidden from his "Papa" until the bats of Damians universe are able to find a way to bring him back home. In the meantime tho, Damians under JJ's care, and its terrifying, but at least he tries!

Now in my mind Joker Jr. is kinda like Jinx from Arcane with mood swings, visual and audio halucinations, so so smart but so so crazy and confused and SCARED and oh so close to finally snapping until he actually does.

And this boy that he kiddnaped rescued confuses the fuck out of him. Because Junior recognizes him from somewhere and he doesnt know why.

(I hope this all makes sense its kinda just like a word vomit lmao my lizard brain just want crazy older brother Joker Jr. [Also there isnt enough JJ content out there and that is a crime])

(Older brother JJ content??? Fuck yeah)

TW: JJ, torture, child abuse

JJ... Recognizes those glaring emerald eyes and scowling face. He doesn't know why, but it causes reality around him to pulse with uncertainty as it teters between JJ's world and someone else's. Someone Papa doesn't like.

JJ won't talk to them. He knows he's not supposed to. Papa will become angry. So Junior tears his eyes from the bird kid baby bat and turns to leave. A tsk stops him.

Another wave of familiarity crashes over JJ, but he doesn't know that child. He doesn't. He really really doesn't know him.

So, Junior should move. Papa won't he happy if JJ can't move.

Well, unless Papa is teaching JJ a lesson.

His nerves light up at the memory of cold metal tables, electric probes, and buzzing.

JJ needs to go, but that kid. He can't leave him. He also can't take him with either. He knows what happens to the kids Joker meets.

Junior would never disobey his papa, but the ever-present buzzing noise isn't a deterrent for bad behavior. With how often he's punished, it hardly matters whether JJ is being a good child or not. He's always in trouble. Instead, that buzz is a reminder that he can't be caught.

JJ is smart. He's clever and sneaky. He's also great at lying, even to bats. While he may not know why lying to the nocturnal creatures is important, he knows it's an accomplishment he's proud of.

He can hide the child from Papa! It'll be a fun game! Junior's little surprise.

Junior isn't sure what he's winning, but he knows what will happen when he loses.

Death to the bird and punishment to JJ! A great joke!

Though Junior doesn't know why the kid is a bird.

Oh well! JJ will take great care of the little bird. All he has to do is feed him and keep him hidden! It will be like all the other things JJ hides from Papa. He'll never admit it, but Junior thinks Papa is a little dumb. As long as JJ plays pretend with the older man, he'll remain unsupervised.

Anyways, JJ has more of a demented, childish voice while Tim is more analytical and serious.

Damian, to start with, doesn't recognize Tim. JJ has green hair, bleached skin, cut cheeks, and way less muscle mass. The behavior is drastically different as well (also, we're not gonna speculate any specific mental disorders for these AUs. JJ and Tim are considered different due to their characterizstions, but I don't want to put harmful connotations out there [especially since I don't have any relevant conditions to insert accurate and mindful interpretations]).

In this AU, the Bats are all dead. JJ did kill some of them, which drastically reduced his ability to recover and remember that he's Tim.

He didn't kill Damian, though. Tim also feels extremely protective of his younger siblings (Duke included). Unfortunately, they're dead in this AU :/

JJ oscillates between being terrified, peppy, silent, crying, and content at rapid rates. It takes several days for Damian to feel out some of the triggers.

The Bats from Damian's universe are trying their damned best to get there as soon as possible. Sadly, Joker finds out about Damian before then.

JJ, by this point, has bonded with the kid. That kid is HIS. He may have some slightly fucked up notions on how to show care, but he will not let anyone harm the bird (not even Papa).

So, JJ does his best joke yet. He kills Joker.

Only after killing the Joker do the other Bats show up. They offer to take JJ with them (particularly because that's Tim!!!), but he refuses. He doesn't want to go with his family. He doesn't remember them and he killed some of them.

He can't stay with them.

[illyabata]

scars are A Thing™ with wriothesley and nobody can convince me otherwise, idc if there is zero mention of his scars or their meaning when he comes out idc it’s my permanent headcanon that scars and their stories are simply entangled with his character idc

so now i give you: wriothesley who is fascinated by your scars

tw: discussion of scars lol, but in no way do i indicate their origin unless it’s stretch marks. however if talk of scars at all is triggering to you, dont read!! it’s sweet fluffy stuff, but that doesn’t matter if it will trigger you. please take care :)

sfw, big brainrot under cut

theyre so much smaller than his, more delicate, just like you. doesnt matter if compared to other people you are big or tall, he’s such a big guy that he makes you feel small no matter your size or height. and no matter what your scars look like to you, to him they are beautiful. to him they are delicate.

he’s enamored by all of your scars no matter their origin—stretch marks, however, seem to intrigue him the most of all. he’s absolutely transfixed by them, and you can never understand why. he’s simply mesmerized by the way the blemished skin stretches as he thumbs and presses it, watching the discoloration flatten itself only to bloat back when he leaves it alone. for some reason he just seems so puzzled by the concept of natural scarring of the body; nothing had happened to harm you for these to appear—they’re simply the product of change, your skin either going through rapid periods of expanding or shrinking. he thinks they’re pretty.

he’d spend so long just running his rough fingers over your skin, absorbed in the feeling of the puckered tissue under his own blemished hands. whether the scars are stretch marks or from something else, he loves them, he loves you.

this might sound weird but i just like to imagine you both spend time gently tracing each others’ scars as comfort, like it sounds weird in words but it makes sense i promise. there is something intimate and fascinating about scars, no matter what they’re from; it’s truly like the language of your body’s history, a record of what has occurred. you can resent them or be proud of them, it really depends on the person and situation—but regardless, scars are always a record, and that is a constant no matter the person.

and if you’re not comfortable with that level of touch or that much attention on your scars, that is absolutely okay. he’s not going to make you uncomfortable, he’ll always ask if it’s okay before he looks at or touches them—or touches you at all, really. he never wants to hurt you. and if you say you’d rather he not touch your scars, he’ll understand and just show you he loves you—all of you—in some other way.

like idk about anyone else or if its just me and im fucking insane but sometimes i get lost looking at my own scars; sometimes the human body at work is just kind of fascinating to watch, and even more so in retrospect. it’s like holy fuck you’re looking at its handiwork, you can plainly see how the skin has been so masterfully rebuilt into this little woven bandaid of cells, carefully crafted to not only rebuild but protect. your body has looked after itself, and it will continue to do so. and thats just kind of a fascinating thing to me idk😭

some extra thoughts about scars, not really to do with wrio; red brackets will indicate the end of it if you want to skip: [[ it usually replaces any feeling of disgust i have because instead of focusing on the bad feeling of remembering where they came from or being sad at the way they look im able to think about how cool it is the way my body recovered and made my skin even stronger; it didnt just wipe it all away and give me a clean slate so i could forget, it pieced the cells together again bit by bit until it had not only replaced the wound but enforced it—so instead of forgetting the bad feelings, they were replaced by wonder. sort of like a sign that says “proof that where once there was pain, now there is strength”. it’s kind of like how they say you don’t just try to quit bad habits, you must replace the bad habit with a good one. you can replace the bad feelings associated with your scars with new feelings, whether they are good feelings or neutral feelings or meh feelings. ]]

before you, he understood scars to be an ugly thing—a source of shame, a show for others to marvel at if he left them uncovered, for them to ogle at and whisper about as if trying to guess the origin of the wounds was a sort of entertainment to them. and then in the fortress of meropide, his scars felt much less like a source of shame and more like an intimidation factor (which wasn’t something he necessarily felt good about, but it was something that he benefitted from as the duke). but when you came along and he began to know you, suddenly they were this beautiful, fascinating phenomenon that lead him to view his own scars in a different light.

he’s a powerful, strong man, yes. he’s intimidating and feared, but he is also loved, and all for good reason—he is solid and safe, an image of reliability to others. and sometimes it could weigh him down when he couldn’t seem to let another help carry the burden.

the way you made him feel, though, tracing his big ugly scars like they were rivers, like they weren’t repulsive—it changed him entirely, and it changed the way he saw himself. in the overworld, he was a criminal brute slathered in the proof of his savageness. in the fortress, he was the rock-solid standard for redemption, and he had to uphold his firm reputation. but with you, he was able to be fragile; with you, the walls he had built to protect himself from both sides of fontaine’s society came tumbling down, because he didn’t have to pretend when he was with you.

if such a small, sweet thing like you could see him in such a kind light with so much love in those eyes of yours, perhaps he was not so bad after all.

everyone else in all of teyvat could believe he was truly a bad guy like he sometimes enjoyed playing at—but it wouldn’t matter, because there you were in his bed every night, held fast in his big arms as you mindlessly traced the long, thin writings engraved in his skin, letting the stories they told lull you to sleep.

[liquidstar]

i think that on here we've kinda talked a lot about how the traditional "coming out" narrative presented in popculture is flawed in reality. because it always presents this idea that you have to tell everyone who you Really are, that youre Hiding parts of yourself, that you can never be You until you bare your Secrets to the world. and that actually this isnt because people feel entitled to your personal business but that its hurting YOU when they dont know your personal business so you should really just tell them. (but also dont be "too" proud because thats annoying :( act mostly cishet please but dont lie about it! hehe!) it will work out every time for sure :)

but ofc thats not how real life works. i mean, naturally i understand that there are OF COURSE people out there who want to be loud and proud about who they are, and that this is incredibly important to their identity which theyve suppressed for so long. but that "coming out" narrative is harmful because it ignores many of the reasons it had to be suppressed to begin with. its fucking dangerous! its dangerous to a lot of people for a lot of reasons. they can lose their support system, family, job, house, and their entire life. both in the sense that they'll be completely uprooted from it, and in the sense that they could be killed. so constantly presenting the notion of "coming out is good for you no matter what because its the Only way to be your Real Authentic Self and also you HAVE to do it eventually because thats how this narrative is just Meant to go. be a good little queer and please dont stray from this path."

and the problem is that plenty of young LGBT+ people completely internalize it too! ive had so many convos with young people worried about coming out to their conservative family because, well, theyre supposed to! and their minds are completely blown when i tell them that actually they dont have to do that. that theyre under no obligation to tell everyone their business and its okay to just keep being them w/o making an announcement about it. ESPECIALLY IF IT PUTS THEM IN DANGER!!!! and to be clear this issue doesnt stop at age 18 or at moving out or anything like that either, there continue to be many obstacles for many people that make coming out unsafe, or just a bad life decision to uproot everything Right Now. it's okay to just be in the closet and it isn't a moral failing like cishet media wants to convince us. we all agree, right?

good! but here's what my actual real point is:

when we talk about this, for some reason, we seem to only reaaaallly be talking about the gay side of it, right? like im sure lots of people imagined, like, teenage gay boy movies. maybe a couple lesbian and bi characters too perhaps. and that makes sense because thats like the most common narrative for this sort of trope, so ofc those are the first examples we imagine. and ofc theres the more complex addition of "passing" when it comes to trans versions of this story, the idea that you gotta look a certain way to be "valid" adds another layer.

so i think its time more people started to acknowledge this about trans people too, right? i think we can all agree with this on paper already; no trans person is obligated to come out or present a certain way if theyre not in a place where they currently are able to do so. physically, mentally, financially... or just because they dont wanna! whatever the circumstances are, there is no criteria they have to meet to be vindicated in this. it doesnt only apply to 14 year olds living with shitty parents who plan to move out soon and become "Really Trans" (as if they didnt count before conforming to The Narrative), the person could be 40 and never planning to be completely out, and its the same. they dont owe you this "showing the world who you Really are in order to [earn the right to] Be Yourself" crap. thats their choice only.

however, i also think that even if most ppl on here in lgbt circles on here agree with the general sentiment... sometimes it doesnt always get applied it practice. though the whole "truscum" thing kinda died down (thank god) i still think that rampant transmedicalism has left its scars on lots of people and the things they internalize, combined with similar cisheteronormative messages in popular media about how your narrative Should go and how you Should act and look to be respected, and its Morally Wrong not to fit that mold.

so when encountered with people who dont pass, who dont TRY to pass and instead actively choose to look like their agab due to the fact that they are literally in the closet irl (lest we forget people have whole entire complex lives outside of the net) this sort of short circuit happens in ppls heads, where that internalized idea of "but you're supposed to be THIS WAY! youre not doing it RIGHT!" pops back up and they end up labeling that person as fake or Not Trans Enough for this reason.

and i do also think part of this stems from people not having enough sympathy for those whose paths are different, because they were told not to. theres a Right way, and they did it the right way. and likely they struggled for it a lot, so isnt it unfair that people are doing it the Easy Way (as if its easy to be closeted to begin with) and claiming theyre like you? thats Wrong. they have to Earn it. you lgbts should all get mad at EACH OTHER actually! this will help your community be better [in the eyes of cishetero society that doesnt really want you to exist to begin with]

additionally the reason im emphasizing the internet side of this so much is because... well, in this day and age, thats the space lots of people go to to NOT be in the closet. to at least microdose on being "out" while in real life they very much arent. like i said before, being in the closet is rough and taxing, suppressing yourself hurts which is why so many people wanna be loud and out and proud! not everyone can though, so turning to a place with relative anonymity to get that is great, and i think its probably saved a lot of people. but also because of this, its pretty much the only way to get the scenario this is positing to begin with- where you know a stranger can know that youre trans even if youre otherwise closeted completely, just so they can tell you that youre Not. but how many people in the past do you think lived lives where they never let these feelings out at all? how many alive today do you think dont even express them online?

you know that sort trope (often stereotypes in media) of a trans person "crossdressing" only when alone, in order to get a short bit of relief or euphoria that they cant in their closed life? i think that today we have the internet to do that. i think its kind of the same thing. but its also very different, because its not as private. its still secret, because its anonymous, but its also something shared with plenty of strangers at the same time. they dont know you irl, so its safe, distant, and gives you that rush of being yourself, and being referred to correctly by others too. theres community, theres support, and theres friendship too, once you get to know those strangers. its not a "second life" or a "persona" is just a side of yourself you dont show elsewhere, an identity that needs to be let out one way or another.

who the fuck are we to deny others the right to this life-saving connection just because they arent out? because they dont pass or dress the Right way irl? because we decided they arent trying hard enough to "fit in"? because they dont plan to change their lives to fit the right narrative anytime soon?

should they not be allowed into the community then? that would be perfect wouldnt it? leave many who need support out to die, because they did it Wrong. fight within our community over who is doing it Right until we've broken it in half. the righteous ones [according to cishet standards] are surely going to be treated with respect once they get rid of the Bad ones, right?

yeah, i dont think so. thats horseshit. we're stronger together than we are apart, thats why infighting is so useful to those who dont want us to be strong to begin with. its important to help each other, boost each other up, even if some of us arent playing the "right" part irl. are we really just going to sit around and accept the cishet norms as rules to live by? fuck that. not everyones story will reflect it, and you have to accept them anyway if you want a strong community. it doesnt matter how much they might look/act like their agab irl, if theyre telling you otherwise take it at face value, respect them the way you would any other. again, many of us agree with this on paper, but i think we still have to put work into acting on that too.

the end <3

[lillyspeakz]

can i request some wilbur soot angsty stuff

like wilbur dating reader whose a sad person who always thinks people dont like her and doesnt react well to rough criticsm

because im feeling sad and this is what i'm craving☹️

hi dearest! I’m very much feeling this request rn so I hope you enjoy! And I hope you feel better darling <3 This was very self indulgent and half assed bc I’m eepy but! Enjoy!

warnings: reader had a bad day, Wilbur being cute, fluff all around with a hint of angst. It’s like hurt/comfort.

come into (my arms)

“Shh, it’s ok darling. I know, just let it out.” Wilbur whispered to you, holding you in his arms as you let out sobs and cries into his chest.

Today had been a particularly hard day, people harshly telling you what to do when things didn’t seem to be right when you did them. You thought your co-workers disliked you at the beginning, but now you definitely thought they didn’t, which hurt.

You had trouble reading people and how they felt about you but once one harsh comment came out of their mouth about your work or you, that decision was clear. You thought a lot of people didn’t like you, feeling a bit to out of comfort when around new people. Yet your friends and Wil reassured you constantly that they loved and appreciated you.

But today, everything was too much and you finally cracked.

Your tears soaked his shirt, hands wrinkled the fabric, ultimately ruining the once nice shirt. You were mad, and upset, and he knew that. Wil rubbed your head as broken sobs and cries of frustration and despair left your mouth, holding you as close as he could. “You are so strong my love. So proud of you for getting through the day. I love you so much, so so much.”

His words only made you let more sobs out, thankful that he was here with you. This wasn’t the first time this has happened and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. But he’d be there for you every time.

“I-I’m s-sorry.” Ylu stuttered out inbetween sobs, resulting in Wilbur shushing you gently and kissing your hairline.

“Don’t apologize love, you deserve to let it out. You don’t let yourself feel your emotions a lot, so let this be that time.” He told you as you inhaled shakingly, and let out a deep breath, your cries and tears slowly coming to a stop as he continued rubbing your head and humming quietly to you.

Feeling calmer than before, you released his shirt in your hand and rubbed your tear stayed face. Watching this, Wilbur frowned and took your hand in his, gently kissing it and cupping your cheek in his palm. He collected the tears that had fallen and lied on your waterline, cooing at you as you leant into his touch.

“My precious baby. You look so pretty.” Wil whispered to you as he looked at you, really looked at you. Your eyes puffy and glossy from tears, yet your eyes still hold that same beauty. Tear streaks paint your face making him want to kiss every part of your face that the salty water touched. You were absolutely beautiful to him, no matter what. And he could never explain how he felt, always needing to either kiss or hold you.

“Even like this? A hot mess?” You asked as you looked up at him, the question being a genuine one.

“Yes baby, even like that. Always. I love you, so much. And if you want to find a new job, I will help every step of the way. It doesn’t seem like you’re comfortable there anyways darling. You know, you could work for the band. We’d be happy to have you as our manager.” Wil asked, having wanted you to be their manger for longer than usual.

You smiled up at him as you leant up to him and kissed him, soft and sweet. Both of you smiled into it, a kiss not being possible anymore. “I love you. And I’ll think about it, sounds better than having to work with people that scare me sometimes.”

“We don’t scare you?”

“Oh! No you guys do! But I love you guys, and I know you guys love me.” You admitted to Wil, as he smiled brightly down at you, wrapping his arms back around you and kissing all over your face as giggles and squeals left you.

taglist: @horny-p0et @ivvees-blog (if you want to be added, send me an ask or comment)

[princess-koriand-r]

Hi guys, its kory sometimes kori doesnt really matter to me!! Dick told me i should join tumblr because "its where he heat is at" sometimes im concerned for him and his mental health but oh well.

Anyway, my name is Koriand'r, I am Starfire and a proud Titan, pretty sure i'm the equivalent of 28 in human years? not quite sure but i'm just going to go with that for now. I am currently living with my boyfriend, Dick in Bludhaven. I work as a model sometimes, other times as a waitress at Olive Garden because I've got to get money somehow. Either way, Dick says i look nice in the uniform.

ask some questions, have some fun, and you can always ask for help

-Koriand'r

matching profile pictures with my boyfriend, @the-blueprint-robin

ooc: just saying im actually a minor so just keep that in mind!!

[starabsol]

cs pride headcannons

happy pride month! this is to the gays, lesbians, queers, transgenders, nonbinaries, bisexuals, everyone!!!!! (except homophobes, get away) happy pride month and good job being so fruity! we love u ^_^

ok so basically i have headcanons for my fav pokemon characters, may drew harley n solidad but i never really did much with them but since its literally pride month right now i thought why not draw them? theyre more like chibi attempted weird ass doodles butttttttt

first up, of course, our baby drew.

theres smth about him that just screams transgender.. hes ftm (female to male) since he didnt feel right in his body, but doesnt mind presenting himself in a feminine way. demisexual also because i dont feel like he randomly falls in love with people unless they know them well and have a good bond! and he obviously doesnt care about anyones gender whatsoever, doesnt have a preference either.

he goes by he/they pronouns and would rather not be regarded by feminine names, though he himself doesnt really care about how he appears to others

if someone comes out to drew:

someone: “drew, i have to tell you something.. im lesbian.”

drew: “thats nice”

drew is neutral about this stuff. he simply doesnt mind that much. though inside, secretly, he is pretty proud of whoever comes out to him; he does care.

next up, may!

may is an ally, no doubt. she loves everyone as they are! i debated making her asexual for a hot second, but scrapped it later as i didnt really liked that for her :P

she goes by she/her! she respects everyones pronouns, and if unsure if what pronouns to use she always uses they/them to avoid mis pronouncing. always shows up at pride conventions!

if someone were to come out to may:

someone: “may.. i have to tell you something. im non-binary”

may: “OMG THAT IS SO COOL I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND PROUD OF YOU!!!!”

next up, our cunty harley!

hes bisexual and non-binary. he loves both women and men, and simply doesnt give a fuck about (his) gender. he goes by she/he/they pronouns since he really doesnt care what people regard him as. “gender doesnt matter honey!”

he doesnt mind looking feminine or masculine at all, so sometimes u see him skipping around in skirts and the other moment you see him in a suit. and honestly? we love that for him. pop off harley

if someone were to come out to harley:

someone: “hey, harley? can i tell you something? im gay.”

harley: “OOOOOO! so proud of you honey! welcome to the gays!”

and lastly, solidad!

shes a lesbian. i dont care what you have got to say, solidad is a lesbian. she loves women, she loves feminine people. shes also aromantic because i can make her aromantic. she naturally loves platonically, but she can love (and feel) romantically, just not that often.

she herself is also an ally, of course, everyone in these headcanons are, but she is an ally. she supports everyone the way they are, no matter their sexuality, gender, race, background, whatever. she loves everyone. n that goes for may drew and harley also! solidad would probably be the most calm if you were to come out to her, though.

if someone were to come out to solidad:

someone: “solidad? i wanted to tell you that im bisexual..”

solidad: “oh, that’s wonderful! congratulations. i am so proud of you for telling me.”

———————

happy pride month! make sure to love everyone the way they are. love isnt a choice, neither the way you were born or how you feel in your own body! youre good as u are!

im pretty much questioning myself, i mean, im sure im aroace but beside that? no clue. for now id just say im heterosexual, but i havent really fallen for people romantically or sexually so i dont know at all lol

school still isnt over, still have about a month left 💔 i hate the netherlands vacation time so much only 6 weeks for summer break is crazy

[askata]

a thought about cos because Ive been playing it lately and Im so fascinated by it in some way, so heres what I think about it

theres a lot of talk around the whole idea of the game itself, a lot of arguing over what is right and what is wrong. carebears, kos, that kind of stuff. its a topic for a lot of survival games, its really only tradition. I personally dont think theres any specific way it should be played. the mechanics are there, but its all a suggestion and no one can stop you from how you play with it

its a survival game with social and cosmetic aspects, it also encourages strategy but will not make it a dire mechanic of your run. it allows room to breathe and sit and talk but not without the looming threat of some larger creature. it balances the risk of death with the social comfort of the open map and chat

its not a forgiving game in many aspects (specifically the death point system (I used to farm points, its hell)) but its also not entirely unempathetic. you can be rewarded for your work and dedication, and there are so many positive aspects of giving it a try instead of tossing in the towel. just because it says you might not win against something doesnt mean its not worth the fight, and often times its more satisfying to die fighting than to die trying to escape

when you sit back to think about it, its a beautifully balanced game. sure, the pay system can seem really unfair, and the economy side of things can be strange. it can also be extremely frustrating to be a collector or someone who leans into the trade side of things, but I think the frustration of it is intentional. its not meant to be easy, and thats what makes it so fun!!

Im not a huge trader, seller, buyer, whatever. I dont really like collecting things either. I like playing as creatures I feel confident handling and fighting with. I like to socialize, but I also love the anxiety of being a creature in a world of other strange and unpredictable creatures. the constant threat of death is a thrill that enriches the positive feelings of survival and risk taking

you start to feel proud of yourself, and then you begin to accept your losses when they come around. fairness goes both ways, you cant always win and call it an equal balance

I love seeing people have fun, even if that fun is mindless slaughter or the aggressive helicopter parent treatment. admittedly, Ive been under every single one of the labels you could think of, outside of the roleplay stuff. Ive kosed, Ive carebeared, Ive been an anklebiter, Ive logged before, Ive whatever.

(never really got into roleplaying on there, unless you count being in a pack of the same creature and acting in a "lore accurate" way (hunting, traveling together, nesting, etc etc) but I dont mind the roleplayers. you guys are cool, and I respect the determination despite how people talk about you guys. you do you, just be safe and follow the rules :) ❤️)

what matters is that I find it to be both mechanically and mentally rewarding. I love this game, even though it sucks sometimes, and it glitches out, and hackers can be a bit of a pain if theyre mass killing, but whatever!!! games have flaws, and Im happy with that

anyway, this was a big ramble. I appreciate this game a lot, I love it for what it is, and its super fun to get home after a long day and be weird and happy without worrying about much else

[ungodlybliss]

hi guys i want to break down these panels into my own thoughts bc im unwell 🫶🫶🫶

first off - after ages of not seeing each other slade is taking out rose for some fuckass mission as an excuse to see her, normal dad behaviour ig. but as they talk, slade is consistently berating her for her actions and her small talk with him such as explaining how she wasnt screwing the guy slade found in her bed yappa yappa yappa.

slade criticises her, claiming that because she was telling him these things (making basic small talk with her dad) that clearly she cared what he thought - which is *weakness* and means ‘shes not ready’ but the thing is, he doesnt even know what hes talking about himself.

rose is justifiably confused and asks “ready for what?” to which slade doesnt even have a valid answer. as usual, slade is trying to emotionally push rose away and keep her on her toes. he expects rose to to be prepared for “anything” but cant even tell her the specifics because he doesnt know what she should be prepared for either. realistically, he knows rose is capable for herself yet he continues to put her down so she can ‘do better’

Right after that its clear to see that rose feels hurt. She asks him “how long have you thought that?” showing that Rose must have thought she already met his impossible standards, yet apparently she never did which makes her doubt herself.

Even Slade is confused with himself - this whole time hes been making things up to keep her at an arms length and encourage her to work on herself in his own weird way. The way right after, Rose begins listing the things shes gone through and overcome in order to get his approval which she assumed she got.

“Ive studied your tactics. Ive mastered…”

“Nothing”

Slade immediately tears her down again, destroying the belief that she had finally gained his approval through overcoming all these challenges, yet her assumptions were ‘wrong’.

It shows how no matter how damaged their relationship consistently becomes, Rose still wishes that her father would be proud of her for her achievements, but now she completely doubts herself and all shes done because he thinks shes mastered “nothing”.

anyway idk if this made any sense im really bad at expressing my thoughts but GOD i think about them all the time dude and this panel just HIT me tonight

[violentviolette]

how do you tell apart violent impulses from violent intrusive thoughts when you get both? I know I have violent impulses because I acted on them before I had a better system for dealing with them and I know I have intrusive thoughts because I get sexual intrusive thoughts about things I never get impulses over. I know it doesn't make sense because I can tell sexual intrusive thoughts have no impulses behind them but the line is just completely blurred for me with violent thoughts. I always deal with them like they're impulses and get myself as quickly away from the victim and weapon as possible just in case but it always weighs on me not knowing if I really would have acted on that were my reins looser. When I acted on my violent impulses in the past I never felt guilt over actually doing it even if I wouldn't choose to repeat it but stopping myself from potentially acting on violent thoughts makes me feel like garbage

personally, and this is highly subjective and not like a universal Fact, but i generally seperate them by "impulse = rooted in feelings relevent to both the situation and my wants" and "intrusive thought = not triggered by or relevent to actual feelings i have outside the thought" so like, an intrusive thought *to me* is something like "pick up that knife and stab it thru their hand to pin it to the table" when nothing is wrong and im just generally chilling, this is not something i would actually enjoy nor get any real pleasure or satisfaction from doing

whereas an impulsive thought would be "punch that person whose irritating u in the face cause it'll make them stop speaking" cause that is actually rooted in something that would bring me pleasure or satisfaction to do, but i know is socially innopropriate and not a healthy way to handle the situation

but honestly, i think the difference isnt always important, especially when talking about how just having either of those thoughts makes us feel about ourselves. there is no inherent morality to thoughts. our thoughts simply exist, and they have no bearing on whether or not we are good or moral people.

i've had the urge/thought/impulse to hit my wife before. dozens and dozens of times actually. i never have and i never will, but the urge to solve all my problems by simply punching them is a strong urge that i dont think will ever go away for me. i get angry or upset and my instinct is to become violent over it. but simply having the thought to do so doesnt make me a domestic abuser or a bad partner. the fact that i have never once given in to that urge and continue to control my behavior is what makes me a good and healthy partner.

it doesnt matter what u would have done if u werent controlling ur behavior, what matters is that *u are controling that behavior.* u are doing the right and healthy thing by choosing not to act on an impulse or intrusive thought and taking measures to ensure u dont. that shouldnt make u feel bad, it should fill u with pride for urself. the thought is not the important part, it's what u DO with that thought that matters. people think all kinds of insane things all the time, triply so when u have mental illnesses. brains are weird and freaky and they think wild shit. none of that matters, what matters is ur actions and ur behavior and the fact that u can and do control urself to behave in healthy and appropriate ways is the sign of u being a well adjusted and mature adult and healthy member of ur social group.

dont beat urself up over ur thoughts, they are not what make u who u are. ur actions make up the person u are and its ur actions that matter. and the fact that u take action to ensure the safety and well being of the people around u is what determines that u are a good and healthy person making the right decisions, and thats something u should feel very very proud of urself over

[anzynai]

April Fools with the Octatrio

hello so i wanted to write something for the octatrio (as the title states) but a fic wasn’t working out so…. here’s some hcs((aka what my fic idea was GOING to be)) under the cut instead !!!

first of all, april fools was a completely new thing for the twins and azul. in tbe coral sea, its literally just.. april 1st and even the areas that DID know abt the day didn’t bother celebrating it

so imagine floyd and jade having the time of their life when they find that there is quite literally a day centered around messing with your friends

azul is less than amused when his own voice interrupts his speaking because of jade and floyd constantly poking his sides and tickling him when he least expects it

jade tends to be more subtle about it yet so teasy all the same “oh, what’s the matter, azul?” knowing damn well whats what

on the other hand, floyd is like “aww, u ticklish??” when he does with absolute no regard for who might be listening

azul doesn’t know which one is worse

but of course, azul won’t stand for it! he has allowed the twins to get the last laugh for way too long (or.. the twins.. get his (??))) last laugh… uh anyway)

so he starts off with jade because even though jade would definitely hint at it to floyd, he is a much easier person to find. jade.. if jade doesn’t want to be found, he will not be found. so he starts with jade since he’s not expecting it

and well, he really wont. not with tickling at least because azul wasn’t one to get them back all the time. but this time, he knew be needed to stand his ground (he just wants the twins to get a taste of their own medicine.. and maybe… hear their laughter..)

so azul calls jade over into his office to discuss about the monstro lounge and ambushes him. he is actually shocked at first that he manages to do it, but he does.. and of course, tickles him. it works out so much better than he thought. when hes done, he prepares himself for retaliation, but for some reason… jade doesnt?

later, after floyd’s basketball practice, azul does the same thing. corners him, and it seems as though he was expecting it. in fact, he wws encouraging it! “ur gonna tickle me, huh? well go ahead, im waiting!” it makes azul a little nervous but he still exacts his revenge and. floyd doesn’t retaliate either???

he finds out why later. jade had planned it from the moment azul had ambushed him. he was going to have azul let down his guard and ended up hinting at it to floyd. so basically, at the end of the night, they have both gone to azul and completely obliterated him (much to his embarrassment)

he did have a suspicion, but with the random pokings throughout the day still occurring, he thought that was all they may do. he shouldve known better (or maybe, he just kinda.. hoped it would happen again so didnt work to stop it hehehe)

anyways, unrelated to tickling, i feel like floyd wohld have more obvious pranks. like, silly string (he would have bought out the entire stock at sam’s mystery shop had he had enough money), jumpscares, the like. him wnd lilia have this sort of alliance on april fools and kinda terrorize the student body together

on the other hand, jade has more subtle pranks, but enjoys them nonetheless. they tend to be those ones that make u feel like u MAY be losing ur mind. like those mind games kindw pranks.. i cant think of any rn but uhh… use ur imagination.

azul simply does not participate. at least, not on his own accord. like he never starts it, but it has become a habit to try to prank jade and floyd back if they ever prank him. he wont admit, but its pretty fun thinking of ways to get one over on the twins. he really likes seeing the look on their faces when they arent expecting something.

still, that means he has to work extra hard since it IS the day to prank people, yk?? but he doesnt have a certain way of pranking someone, but is always proud when it works out.

once he got both of the twins at the same time by calling them to his office and leaving the door slightly cracked, but left a bucket of water on top. when it was opened, it would fall on them. he still remembers their expressions and thinks about it from time to time.

[meet-at-tycho]

sorryyy its late and i am filled with joy and whimsy. i love them so much, my sibling always gets annoyed with me cuz theyre all i talk about.. can you blame me? to have that vast boring nothingness shift into excitement and happiness and real true love? if you were me, youd talk about it too

its so funny cuz my life seems to move in cycles, familiar patterns that ive grown really sick of.. traumatizing and terrible, horrible bloody mess.... and then the most long drawn out boring slice of life youve ever witnessed. trauma! nothing! trauma! nothing! really tired of that.. i never thought that my nothing could be broken with joy, isnt that strange? for once, im not really hurting anymore. when i do hurt, i can handle it on my own and let go, and if its too much then i know im safe to express it

ive come such a long way, i dont tend to see myself positively, but.. its hard not to be proud. guys it turns out all you need to be happy is like. LOVE isnt that so corny isnt that so unbelievably predictable... APPARENTLY its true, i guess it feels different when yr actually experiencing it firsthand

im like on the verge of tears right now but. theres no sweeter joy than this, its so fucking BIZARRE. how did it happen this way? all the little bits and pieces that fell into place, delivered me angels and made me whole again.. cheesy, i know im being cheesy but i cant help it!! im sweet on them as often as i can be but theres still a lot of things i just.. dont have the strength to say directly. so i say them here, im sure only one of you will see this anyways. but i dont need either of you to see it, just speaking my feelings out into open air eases my mind a bit more

sometimes im like wow! theres no way this is healthy im . can i really experience true love? love that doesnt hurt? love thats REAL? as much as im tempted to deny it, im living it every day!!! i wake up and theyre both there to greet me, isnt that sweet? the first people i speak to when i wake up, the last people i say goodnight to when i go to sleep

i think i just need someone, i think im the kind of person that just.. ive been alone for a while, its OKAY its whatever, ive definitely grown used to it but. i thrive when im with them, its so? maybe all i need is someone else to keep me here.. ive got two!!!!!

maybe thats not clear enough

the way id get through that droning loneliness is escapism, nonstop daydreams and dissociation, i was barely here. only to eat and take care of my body a little bit, then its back to fantasy, because .. theres people who love me in my dreams! but.. im honestly finding it so hard to slip back into that habit now. its scary, because its whats kept me safe. hiding in fiction has kept me safe, kept me calm, happy.. but i cant shake it out of my head!!!! any time i try to fall back into those routines, the only thing i can think of is THEM.. like yeah this is great and all but.. i dont want to be trapped in my head anymore!!! theyre out there, i want to be out there..

if im honest? its terrifying. im forced to come to terms with ME as a person, who i am, something ive neglected to acknowledge for my entire life, but. im so completely wrapped up in my love for them that i hardly think about that!!!!! for once, it sorta almost feels like time is moving how it should be.. like every day that passes is different, every day that passes is SPECIAL. it hurts me to say this, but i think i love being alive? can you imagine that? how is it possible that two strangers could just.. fall into my life one day and before i even know it, im healing, im happy, im whole. MAKE ME SICKK its so foul. its almost pathetic!!! is that really all ive needed? this whole time, and i couldnt find ONE proper candidate throughout 20 years of life? its hard to really be upset about it, cuz.. ive got them now. thats all that matters

idk, i just. i think its really telling the kind of people they are, i know im only me, but.. for what its worth, theyve improved my life so drastically, i wouldve never thought id see myself happy like this. they do that for me, they do that and so much more. i love you 💞

[da-gamingojichan]

Is Ameripan sex cringe like does America say the most cringe pick up lines that Japan has to get up and leave the room and take a shot

i think ameripan sex fucking sucks. the more i like a ship the worse the sex is (looks at itager and romapru) and i like ameripan quite a bit. because im a firm believer that japan desperately wants to seme hes an otaku freak he wants to seme and do crazy shit but he will never be deadass bc of his politeness and even in a relationship where hes able to become more deadass he still is hashtag fail at being deadass when it comes to asking for what he wants in sex. so america tops because obviously hes young and all gung ho and like MANIFEST DESTINY!!!! but he fucking sucks at it. because i actually believe that america gets bitches yeah but hes not THAT that experienced. especially with men like he only learned that gay sex could happen after be became friends with japan and read yaoi (this is a headcanon i made because of that part in the "i am a yaoi fangirl and proud" post where the author goes ITS NOT "GAY". DO YOUR RESEARCH. "GAY" CAME FROM JAPAN. AND THE PROPER TERM FOR "GAY". IS YAOI!). but yeah and yaoi is not...... the best teacher for gay sex. at least if you arent reading enough to get to the few ones that are accurate (and america def isnt reading enough) so he gives japan the worst experience of his fucking life. bro literally tried to shove his dick in raw no prep no lube first time and japan had to stop him and teach him how to prep bc he was NOT going to die like that. and even then he doesnt prep enough and the dick game is so mid because america thinks that going fast and hard immediately is everything and japan is like just fucking kill me now because hes a seasoned sex man so he actually has pretty high pleasure tolerance and needs good game and hes like Lord. Just pass me my 500 dollar america plushie onahole custom. but yeah the sex is pretty bad and america thinks the sex is amazing bc hes inexperienced and japan pretends its great and pretends well (out of politeness) and america is like waow.. that was so good ❤️. i think japan abd italy have a special close friendship together where italy has known and pushed japans boundaries so much that japan can be fully deadass with him at times. and especially about sex because italy constantly cries to japan how germany is so scared so they talk about their terrible sex lives together all the time. Japan still misses the italian strap on but also loves america now and would not cheat on him ever ofc and loves his boyfriend the most. I think america sometimes almost becomes aware of how bad his game is because he thinks about how japan used to be head over heels with italy and loved the sex so he asks germany how good italys game actually is and germany goes "T-THATS A COMPLETELY PRIVATE MATTER!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU ASKING RIGHT NOW?!?!?" and america insists until germany goes "ergh.... if you have to know erm. were waiting for the right time okay. now stop prying." and america feels all his confidence recharge bc he thinks oh this must be germany not wanting to admit italy's game sucks ass cuz no way theyve been together this long with italys libedo without banging! the italy i know will DIE without someone to fuck at least once a week and he obviously isnt cheating either haha! and he just goes "its okay germany, i know youre shy but just try to communicate to him and things will get better okay? ❤️" and germany goes "vhat?" while the camera slowly pans to japan in the background

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

abuse , victim blaming

just need to vent, thank you

i hate hate HATE it when people being kind towards abuse survivors are called babying them. i hate hate HATE it when people tell survivors to fight back and say it's our own fault if we're stuck because we're unwilling to work towards our own freedom. i HATE it when they are praised and even proud of themselves for making us face the harsh truth. YOU DONT!!! i find it very very VERYYY victim blamey to even inisuate we are somehow in the wrong for what? not trying even harder to escape? i always feel insulted each time someone tell me to try to escape and "get out of my comfort zone". like, why did you assume i never tried to fight back or escape? why did you think i even have any comfort zone at all? i hate it even more when it comes to fellow abuse survivor who escaped on their own. like, okay??? just because you could finally escape doesnt mean everyone else can do it too??? do i understand that sometimes, there are no outsiders who can magically save us? of course i do! i've known since early age that nobody will side with me! do i desperately wish to be able to escape myself since nobody from outside would be able to or willing to help me! OF COURSE!!!! I'VE TRIED FOR YEARS!!! SO WHY THE ASSUMPTION THAT BECAUSE I'M STILL STUCK THEN CLEARLY I HAVEN'T TRIED HARD ENOUGH????!!!!

gods. i understand if people who never experience abuse say that. but fellow abuse survivors??? hello???? do you seriously think escaping abusive situation is just a matter of mindset change wtf. i know staying in an abusive situation is bad!!!! i know it's highly unlikely any outside party will help me!!! i also know that escaping will bring negative consequences because i have tried and experienced it myself!!! even if i do escape i dont even know where to go!!!! i will die either way!!! like holy shit just because my exterior personality is calm and friendly doesnt mean im just tolerating bullshit while denying reality wtf

Hi anon,

I hear you. Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there with backwards ideas about abuse survivors, and the rhetoric that they perpetuate is so hurtful and damaging to our recovery. It's frustrating to deal with people who are simply ignorant to how abuse actually works. By perpetuating victim-blaming in these ways, they are protecting abusers.

I think it's important to be reminded that you didn't deserve what happened, regardless of whether or not you fought back. You still deserve kindness and it's not your fault if you didn't fight back. The only person whose fault it is, is the person who caused the abuse in the first place (the abuser). Just because it may have taken you longer to leave, or because perhaps you're not out of it yet, doesn't make you weak or unworthy of love, kindness, and safety. You have been and are doing your best.

I also just want you to consider that these people, while they will unfortunately exist, they don't deserve your time, energy, and emotion. You are worth so much more than to give them space they don't deserve in your mind and heart. You know your truth, you know what really happened and how abuse really works, and they cannot take that away from you with their ignorance. It can be exhausting to challenge these kinds of people and the rhetoric they spout, especially because it hits you right in the trauma. So for your own mental health and self care, while it is important to acknowledge the effect these comments have on you, it's also important to, not let it go necessarily, but know that you're worth more than spending your energy and emotion arguing with ridiculous statements.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[lordoftablecloths]

vent post i guess i dont know i just wanted to write stuff down instead of just go ing to bed and crying over it you can just scroll past it

im fine im sane im noramal im so unbleiveably cringe ,, the only person i have irl- fuck, or even online for that matter- to show the dumbass things i write is my silly little dumbass younger brother who doesn;t understand what im trying to get at and i guess its not his fault, i seriously doubt he's spent unhealthy amounts of time making various short scenerios in his head about charcters he came up with and eventually trying to give them a story and write little things about them in google docs because where else am i supposed to put this and its just ,, he doesnt know wht im trying to do and i dont know how to explain it to him because the "history" i gess behind it is so fucking complicated by now that these characters arent even the same characters as they were when i originally created them, other than some physical attributes and their names and he just knows them as the random cringe shit i made up in middle school but so many years have passed by now that these stupid fuckers whose only purpose to serve is to make me stop remembering that i exist and ive gotten too attatched to them because who else was i supposed to get attatched to when i was going through an identity crisis at the time- and, quite frankly, still fucking am- and it was so much easier to pretend i dont exist and just project my flaws and insecurities and underlying subconcsious thoughts into these charactes that no one knows about except me and oh god im just created a long ass vent post on tumblr that no one's going to read and no one understands the story behind fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck whatever ill go ahead and post this unfinished thing because no one's going to get it either way ill probably delete it later if it doesnt get buried under reblogs

dont think too much about this i just got sad because my brother was giving me a bunch of criticism on an outline of a story i was working on- which is fair, i need to take criticism- but he only knows the characters in it as their semi-formed cringe versions so i chickened out half way and now i feel bad because i was really proud of this thing for the whopping span of like one day before i decided to show it to another human person instead of letting it rot away inside of me like i usually do and now i feel bad about my writing skills

im trying so hard to just take his words with a grain of salt because this kid does not have nearly as much experience with writing as i do, but i feel like im copying too many of my inspirations (DnD, generic fantasy story about defeating evil creature, silly tropes, etc,,) which sucks because that was just like the first two pages of the outline and theres nine fucking pages and like the second half of it was what i put the most effort into and i felt like the ideas were really origianl but i could make myself let him naturally get to that part of the outline because i was starting to feel really bad and wieerd and oh god he is looking at ideas i havent ever expressed to another human person even though i am very familaiar with because i came up with them and they havebeen in my head for at least a year or two by now and have been haunting me ever since so instead of skipping ahead to the parts that were really good in my opinion but would have made no sense without context i just told him to piss off i gues s

i dont know. i feel dumb. i feel stupid. ive put so much effort into this stuff and the concept that ive been wasting my time feels like too heavy of a weight to handle. god none of this porbobably nmakes any sense ,,,,,,,,, i guess this is why i feel miserable when the fanart and shitpost memes i post get a comically larger audience and attention than the art relating to my silly goofy ocs, because these stupid fucking characters are all thats keeping me going . call me cringe, but is it still cringe if the concept that maybe i too can be around people that love me and instead of having to like me in spite of my faults love me for them keeps me from fucking killing myself is it still cringe?

if a tree falls in a forest and no one's around, does its fall even make a sound? (shit piss fuck sorry i dont remember the original quote and all i can remember is tha t one line from that one musical i dont remember what it was)

if an autistic moron that cant even talk to a cashier without having a panic attack makes a universe full of fictional characters of his own cfreation then an alternate universe, then several alternate universes, then a spin off from that original universe and etc etc but its all just on google fucking docs and no where else except deleted excerpts from a dead wattpad account, did he ever even create anything at all?

its pointless. its all so fucking pointless. its a waste of time. why do i do this at all. its so fucking pointless. it makes no fucking sense. you cant just make a story with characters in it, then make a fucking fantasy au of that universe with the same characters but with different designs and wildly different personalities and then make a whole fucking complicated lore-filled story about the fantasy au version while the original universe's story is still left mostly unfinished like forget about a first draft of the text i havent even finished the first ddraft of the outline yet buckarooooooo

okay fuck you guys thats all i want to tell you im going to go pretend to myself to try to go to sleep and then cry now