#but it doesn’t feel like a blessing when someone falls from a great height

[accumulastation]

I am thinking today about the meaning of suffering, and the diverse trials humans experience.

What is the point

[house-strong]

— BOUND BY DUTY ʾ ⋆

summary ; requested by two anons with similar ideas, so i’ve combined them.

“can u write one with an arranged marriage to jace.”

“can u write a jace fic where they r betrothed and she’s unsure and he reassures her like my doing sweet gestures over the months? Also can we see after they r married and them happy”

pairing ; jacaerys velaryon x betrothed!reader notes ; unrevised <3

as the eldest daughter of a great lord from a great house, you knew that there was only one thing that you were bound by; the prospect of marriage. your father had promised he’d find someone kind and respectable, someone who you wouldn’t have to live out your life in torment from.

he had aspired you to find love and although his hands were tied by the suitors that came for your hand, he had advised you that you could take your pick from the pool. of the short list of names was prince jacaerys velaryon, the eldest son of princess rhaenyra targaryen and her prince consort, ser laenor velaryon. his title had caught your fathers eye and he had urged you to consider this match. not only was it advantageous, he knew you would be well protected under the wings of the dragon prince.

jacaerys velaryon was rumored to be a bastard, though, your father had argued that despite that, he still carried royal lineage in his veins. he was a dragon rider like his targaryen mother, something that your father said was very telling about his parentage. so with a reluctant nod of approval, there was a raven sent from your home to dragonstone, inviting the princess and her son to court yourself.

they had arrived within a few days, having ridden their dragons from their ancestral seat, dragonstone. your father received them graciously, supplying food for their dragons, and even planning on hosting a feast in their honor. your thoughts about jacaerys plague your mind as introductions are made.

he’s tall and stands awkwardly, as if his height had been blessed to him overnight and he’s still trying to get used to his longer limbs. he stands proudly beside his mother though, head held high as if it would make up for the awkward portion of his lower half. when he makes eye contact with you, he gives you a small, reassuring smile.

“perhaps we should allow them to acquaint themselves?” the princess says, half turning and placing a hand on the back of her son. he seems to be broken from his trance at well, glancing between his mother and yourself.

then you and jace were left alone – supervised, yes, but still alone. he follows you as you lead him through the hall-like maze, his hands joined together behind his back. the only sound shared between you are even breaths and the sound your heels make against the floor.

“i’m jace– jacaerys, i mean,” he reintroduces himself, taking a peek at you. his bangs fall of his eyes and he shakes his head in attempt to move them from his field of vision, but he just raises one of his hands and ruffles it back into place. “but, you can call me jace.”

jace. how lovely.

nerves begin to prickle at your skin, “i’m (y/n),” you respond. he smiles at this and dips his head, his eyes returning in front of him. your hands begin to wring in each other as you feel your nervousness bubble in your stomach. you slowly exhale, trying your best to keep it from overflowing. “we are to be wed.”

the question comes out more as a matter-of-fact, though jacaerys doesn’t notice this and simply chuckles, “yeah, i assume we are.”

another awkward silence falls over you two. jacaerys feels like the collar of his clothes are too tight, so he begins to pick at it with his fingers.

“i fear that you may think that i’m vile or crude,” he says, his words spoken slow as if he’s still thinking on what he’s saying. “but i can assure you, my lady, i’m the farthest from that.”

though you’re not one to take such pretty words from a stranger, you manage to give him a smile, one that reaches your eyes, “thank you, my prince. we shall see in time.”

in time. jacaerys assumes this is a victory, an acceptance of his mother’s proposal to have you both wed. inside him, he’s ecstatic but nervous at the same time. he’s never been with a woman and by the seven, you were the prettiest maiden he had set his eyes upon. he didn’t want to mess this up for both his family and himself.

when you told your lord father that you liked jacaerys better than the other suitors, he had told the princess rhaenyra of your acceptance. in five months, you two would be wed at the first convenience.

during these five months, jacaerys had done everything he could to prove his point about being a good man. although you had spent only some time together, jace looked towards rhaena and baela about what a woman likes. even though they giggled at him and teased him, he would roll his eyes and play along with their taunts. he did discover that women like flowers. that’s when he sent a messenger to your home, along with a bouquet of flowers that he had hand picked by the shoreline of dragonstone.

he even flew on the back of vermax from dragonstone to your home, claiming he had left something that he needed, but in reality he just wanted to see you. when these rare but welcomed instances happened, he’d take you for a walk around your home or even go horseback riding with you. he’d do anything and everything you asked of him.

the pure devotion and kindness he had shown you during these five months of courtship were incandescently beautiful. you enjoyed this newfound relationship. he wasn’t like your father or like your brothers, but he treated you as his equal and often asked for your input on things, even if it didn’t need your input. he claimed that once you two were to be wed, you would be a princess, and as such benefiting of a princess (or rather, his princess), you’d have a say in the matters of his affairs. perhaps the young prince was right about himself.

the days passed rather quickly; days turned to weeks, weeks to months, then the time of your marriage had come. you and your family had set travel for dragonstone, where you’d marry the dragon prince.

dragonstone was a beautiful castle, tall walls towering over the waves that crashed against the rocks. it was also beautifully decorated with sigils of their house. you had noticed, when you entered the castle walls and begun to learn the layout of it, that there were banners flying where both your house digit and a dragon laid equal on a field.

the actual day of your marriage had come and every handmaiden was giving their attention to you. with hair done in an intricate fashion of braids and waves, the band of handmaidens had come to help you dress into your dress. it was breathtaking, without a doubt. with a cream base, the ends of your long dress had intricate beading of pearls. at your chest, a cage had been enclosed around the sigils of house targaryen and your own house. two that became one.

you had walked down the aisle with your father by your side and recited the words given to you by the maester. when the ceremony ends, the crowd begins to cheer and holler at your union. during your bedding ceremony (he had voiced his want of not having one, but due to the sensitivity of his parentage, his mother advised otherwise), he had been sweet and and gentle, often asking your permission before doing anything. any other time where you two would bed, he’d often do it at you behest and when you were comfortable to engage in the act with him.

a sweet and passionate lover who had more spunk than you could match, jacaerys velaryon was more of a giver than receiver, in all aspects. the act of sex, giving you gifts.. each day was a new day where jacaerys had strived to make you happy. he was creative, that was for sure.

after a night of lovemaking, you had laid upon his naked chest. with one arm wrapped around you and the other holding a book, he was reading out loud to you. you begin to draw shapes on to his chest, your mine deep in thought.

you assumed that this is what your father talked about after the passing of your mother. he often times had said that there was no one more radiant or beautiful than her, and that he always thought of her. he mentioned how, despite tradition, he had felt safe and comfortable in her arms. with each kiss they shared, it was like an everlasting fire that warmed his heart.

you started to notice that this was how you were feeling of late. utterly devoted and in love with your prince.

in between a paragraph, you decide to finally voice your affection, “i love you, jace.”

a sentence that hasn’t been uttered by you to him yet, the dragon prince feels himself still at your words. he turns his head slightly, placing a delicate kiss on your temple. you feel him smile through the kiss and can’t help but mimic his expression.

“i love you, my princess.”

[watchmegetobsessed]

IN YOUR MEMORIES

a/n: alright so this was inspired by an amazing fic called Graveyard by @wkemeup​ if you haven’t read it... WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? honestly, i was amazed by the whole idea of having to “pay a price” for a super power and i’ve been really itching to try myself out in this concept, so that’s what this story is. im really excited to share this with you guys so i hope you’ll like it!

pairing: Bucky X Reader

warnings: a hell lot of Bucky’s past pain, a little bit of angst aaand idk im really bad with these warnings

word count: 7.6k

masterlist

“I’ve been trying to figure out an effective way to help him, but it’s been more complicated than I expected. None of my ideas were good enough to even attempt them.” Shuri lets out a frustrated sigh as you stare at the peaceful face of the sleeping man in front of you in the cryo pod. The glass in front of his face is frosty, but you can still make his sharp features out, his chiseled jawline under the stubble, the elegant line of his nose and the thick lashes fanning over his cheeks as his eyes are shut closed.

“His whole mind needs to be rewired, his corrupted memories should be replaced or wiped out so the trigger words wouldn’t work any longer, but I can’t do that on my own.”

Tearing your gaze away from the man you look at her, an apologetic expression adorning her features, because she swore you’d find shelter in Wakanda, a place where you can be just like anyone else and yet, she is now asking you to use your power.

“Do you think he would let me help him?” you ask, glancing back at the man. Bucky, as Shuri called him, doesn’t look as old as he was said to be. A hundred and six years is a lot for a human like him, though he is not as mortal as others on the planet. Shuri told you about the experiments he had to endure through his life and even though you haven’t even touched his mind, you could feel the pain inside you.

“He is desperate to get rid of his dark side, I think he would do anything.”

Reaching up your fingers graze the glass over his face before you plant your whole palm onto it, trying to feel him even under the surface and ice. Eyes shutting close, you take a deep breath as you let your senses open up and find your way to the man.

Because of the cryo pod, you don’t feel him the way you usually do. It’s like he is just an echo in a huge empty room, you can’t make out his whole mind, but he is there. And even with him sleeping under the ice, you still can feel the despair and pain he had to go through as an innocent man. You know he deserves to be saved, he deserves to be freed from his own past and you are his only chance as of right now.

“Wake him up,” you simply tell Shuri before turning around to go back to your room that was assigned to you upon your arrival in the palace.

Bucky doesn’t feel like he has been asleep under the ice for more than just a few hours. It felt like a nap, but in reality he woke up months after the day he closed his eyes.

Shuri welcomed him with the news that the cure has been found and it’s time for him to get rid of the Winter Soldier for once and for all. She didn’t say much about the method, just told him to get ready by the afternoon.  He was never one to question the genius young girl so he just obeyed.

After a hot shower he shaved and took the time to get accustomed to the prototype of the vibranium arm Shuri left for him. It’s not the final version, a lot of details need work, but it’s good enough for his everyday life for a while.

The world hasn’t seemed to change since he last saw it. Wakanda is just as flourishing and vibrant as he remembered, a truly spectacular place in his opinion. He wonders how his friends have been, what Steve is doing, if Natasha is alright… Is Tony still fuming after their last encounter? He probably is.

When it’s time, he leaves his room and heads to Shuri’s lab for their meeting. The guards let him in with just a nod, like he is an old friend and he finds Shuri at her computer as always. The girl beams upon seeing him again, complimenting on his freshly shaved look.

“So what did you invent for me, smartpants?” he smiles at her gently. Bucky owes a lot to Shuri and her brother, they took him in when he wasn’t welcomed anywhere else and now she is about to give him his life back. After this, he’ll forever owe her and her family.

“Well, it’s not my invention this time,” she chuckles shaking her head. Bucky is about to question her when the doors open again, both of them turning in the direction just to see you walk in. His eyebrows knit together at the sight of you, not entirely sure what it’s supposed to be. “Mr. Barnes, let me introduce you to Y/N. Y/N, this is Sergeant Barnes.”

You walk closer, Bucky’s icy blue eyes are glued to your form as you stop a few feet away from him, holding out a hand shyly.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sergeant James Barnes,” you smile softly as his flesh hand takes yours and shakes it gently.

Bucky is enamored with you instantly. He has never seen someone as delicate, soft and charming as you are, your whole aura just demands his attention and he wants to know everything about you. But he also notices that though you look a lot like any other human on the planet, he is convinced you are not from Earth.

What he doesn’t know is that the moment your hands touch, you can hear his thoughts and you can’t push down your smile at how well he is at inspecting his surroundings.

“Just call me Bucky, please,” he nods before your hands let go of each other and his thoughts quiet down again in your head.

“To answer your suspicion, I’m rorm a planet called Lortena. Life on my planet looks a lot like humans here on Earth, but our lifespan is a little longer and some of us have gifts, as my mother always liked to call them.”

“How did you—“ “How did I know what you thought?” you ask with a small smile, finishing his sentence as he nods in complete awe. “I’m what you might call… a mind reader. But my abilities go a little farther than just reading minds,” you admit and his lips part at the revelation.

Bucky glances over at Shuri, part of him thinking it’s some kind of joke or witchcraft, but the girl smiles back at him with an assuring nod.

“Why don’t we sit down and have a chat? I’m sure you have a lot of questions,” Shuri suggests patting Bucky’s shoulder before the three of you head into her conference room.

Though you’re not touching Bucky, you can sense his confusion and hunger to learn more about you. He is curious about what else you are capable of and though the news about your abilities are still quite odd to him, you can tell that he isn’t trying to shut you out entirely. He just has some reservations for now.

Bucky knows it’s rude to stare, but he can’t stop himself from inspecting you. Knowing that you are not from this planet is already enough for him to get his mind racing, especially because you look just like any other humans on Earth. But the little trick you did on him was enough of a convincing for him to believe that you are from somewhere else.

The three of you sit to the table and Shuri takes the lead to start the conversation.

“While you were asleep, Sergeant, life went on and we had a lot going on,” she smiles, her eyes falling on you. “Y/N is a refugee from her planet, Lortena. There’s a war going on there and she was sent away because she was a primary target. She wasn’t supposed to end up here, but there was a little mishap during her journey and landed in Wakanda.”

“Are you targeted because of your… powers?” Bucky asks, hoping he is not asking anything offensive.

“No,” you shake your head. “It’s because I’m the king’s daughter.”

“Oh!” he breathes out.

Great, so she is not only a breathtakingly beautiful creature with superpowers, but she is royal as well, he thinks to himself.

“And how… where do your… powers come from? Is that a usual thing on your planet?”

“Not quite,” you chuckle softly.

You give a glance at Shuri who nods and brings up a hologram of Loki’s scepter with the mind stone in it. Bucky is already familiar with them, but he is curiously listening to find out what it has to do with you.

“Long before the mind stone was trapped into the scepter, it was in our possession. We used it as out main power source, kept locked away from preying eyes and hands. We all knew it’s capable of more than what we use it for, but we didn’t want to risk it and use it for the wrong purposes.”

The hologram changes and now the mind stone is on display on its own.

“But not everyone agreed with that. A couple hundred years ago there was a war for the stone. Though our people sacrificed everything to protect it, they didn’t succeed entirely. Unfortunately, the attackers didn’t know how great the stone’s power is. In the midst of the chaos, there was an explosion caused by the stone. Almost everyone present was killed, only seven survived and they were blessed with different powers coming from the stone.”

Bucky’s lips part as his eyes flicker over to you from the stone in the middle of the table, while you are staring at the hologram remembering back the stories your parents told you growing up. He feels like he is being shared with an ancient legend, a piece of history that is a privilege to know.

“The powers they were gifted with were held at great heights after the war was over. And while some of them could pass it on to their children, some couldn’t. The seven became four, then just two and there was one left. My grandmother. When my father didn’t show any signs of the stone’s power it was believed the magic was gone forever, but then I was born and…”

“And you had the powers,” Bucky chimes in, completely in awe of your origin story. You nod with a shy smile as the hologram of the stone disappears in the middle of the table.

“Yes.”

“And why is there a war on your planet right now?”

“Because though it’s been a miracle that I inherited my grandmother’s powers, the people want to get the stone back and have more of its powers. Unfortunately, the stone was lost through the years and I was informed that Thanos got a hold of it some time ago,” you explain, turning to Shuri for assurance about the accuracy of your words and she nods. “Who then gave it to Loki and now it’s in the scepter. People were demanding my father to start a war for the stone to get it back to Lortena, but he refused to sacrifice his army to get the stone back from a titan.” Sighing you lean back in your seat as you think about your home, your family that was left behind when your father sent you away because he was afraid the rebels would use you to get to him.

“The stone is not at Thanos’ any longer,” Bucky speaks up and your eyes find him as you snap out of your thoughts.

“I was informed of that as well. It’s um… it’s Vision’s now, right?” They both nod. “Well, the rebels think it’s Thanos’ and you better hope it stays that way. Because if they figure out that the titan doesn’t have it any longer, they won’t hesitate to attack you for the stone.”

Bucky’s jaw clenches at the thought of another war to take part in, but also because you had to go through such terrible events because of other’s greediness.

“I’ve been trying to find a solution to help you since you’ve gone to sleep, but I wasn’t able to come up with any,” Shuri speaks up. “But then Y/N arrived and I think she could be the one to do the job.”

“You think you can do that?” Bucky asks, eyebrows pulled together. “What else can you do, other than reading minds?”

You feel hesitant revealing the depths you’re able to reach with your abilities and you’re afraid he would find it too invading after everything he has been through. You want to help him but he has to let you. Though you’re powerful, if someone resists your attempts, the outcome won’t be the same as if they cooperated.

“If you let me… I can change your memories. I can make them appear differently in your head so what they did to you won’t have an effect on you any longer.”

Bucky’s jaw twitches. He has no idea what he was expecting, but not this for sure. Letting another person get into his head, play with his mind like it’s just a toy, it’s something he vowed not to let anyone do it again. But as he stares back at you, he can tell the difference between you and the monsters who ruined his head before. He is at a safe place and everyone here wants what’s good for him.

“It only works if you let me do it,” you add and notice how he presses his lips together into a thin line.

“I would do anything to get rid of him. So… I’m in,” he nods at last and you let out a relieved sigh.

You’ve never tried to corrupt so much of someone’s memories before and you’re not sure how long it will take to complete the task so you requested to start the next day, giving you some time to get ready physically and mentally and of course, for Bucky to get himself ready for his mind to yet again get taken apart by someone else.

Not having much to really do since your arrival other than helping Shuri out occasionally at the lab or giving assistance for T’Challa around the palace, you’ve been able to explore your temporary home in the heart of Wakanda.

There is a hidden terrace near your room, one that’s not well-known even by the people living in the palace and you like the peace and calm whenever you are out there, surrounded by flowers and plants in hand-painted pots, some of them were made by yourself, watching over the breathtaking view of Wakanda in front of you, the sky turning from bright blue to shades of orange, pink, purple and eventually black as the Sun goes down behind the hills.

Tonight, this is where you are seeking peace again, sorting your thoughts out about what you’ll have to face tomorrow. Your power has a lot of benefits but it has its curses as well. You’ve only attempted to do something similar before and you had to learn the hard way what price you have to pay for having control over someone else’s mind, thoughts and memories.

Your brother was tragically killed in an uprising when he was only seventeen and you were ten. It was the result of a series of unfortunate event, he was at the wrong place at the wrong time, no one could help him. Your mother broke under the pain of losing her own child and you listened to her cries every and each night for months before you decided that you needed to help her. She didn’t want to let you even try, afraid it might take too much of you to help her, but you insisted and she eventually gave in. You altered her memories and feelings about your brother’s death, only left her with the ones that bring her joy and happiness, but your gesture demanded a price you weren’t ready to pay.

Upon your own grief for your brother, you had to bear your mother’s as well, the pain of two people clutching your heart and mind in return for your mother’s happiness. You never told her how you cried yourself to sleep every night for an entire year, how you could barely control your dark flashbacks and the constant darkness that was pulling you down. No one knew what you had to go through just to see your mother smile again and you made sure it stayed that way. However, you didn’t dare to do it again, not entirely sure if you could handle the pain one more time.

You surprised yourself when you offered your help to Bucky. You don’t even know him, yet you are willing to take his pain and make it yours just so he can live a somewhat normal life. Though his memories and nightmares won’t torture you as long as they would have did with him, you’ll still have to fight his demons and he won’t even know it. Then why are you doing this?

You have no answer to that. Seeing him for the first time you just had a feeling that you have to do it, that he is worthy of it all and that you want to be the person to free him.

The glass door opens behind you as you’re watching the Sun disappear on the horizon and you’re surprised to see Bucky walk out to the terrace, stopping in his tracks once he notices you sitting on one of the wooden chairs.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t think anyone would be here,” he mumbles, his gaze snapping down at the floor.

“That’s what I thought too,” you chuckle.

“I’ll leave you—“ he starts, ready to leave, but you stop him.

“You don’t have to. Feel free to join,” you tell him, gesturing towards the other chair. His hesitation is clear at first, but then he closes the door behind him and sits beside you.

Bucky watches the sunset in awe, but he can’t shake his curiosity towards you, having to control himself not to stare at you as he tries to figure you out. You’re not the only one who doesn’t understand why you’re doing this major gesture for him, he’s spent the afternoon trying to find any alternative motives that might explain your willingness to help him. He couldn’t find any and it left him with even more puzzles in his tortured head.

“What is it like on your planet?” he finds himself asking, breaking the long silence between the two of you.

“It’s not too different than here,” you admit truthfully. “Though our technology is a little more advanced,” you add with a soft chuckle. “In a way I’m happy I ended up here, because Wakanda reminds me of my home.”

“You miss it, don’t you? Your home?”

“Who doesn’t?” you ask with a soft smile and Bucky nods. He misses his home too, but in his case, it’s not a place but a time, decades ago, when he was his true self instead of the monster Hydra forced him to become.

“I’m sure it’ll be nice to return once the war is over,” he hums to himself and he expects a warm and positive reaction from you, however all he sees is pain and sadness in your eyes. “What is it?”

You hesitate to share it with him, staring back at him you think about keeping your thoughts to yourself, but how could you expect him to let you get into his head if you don’t share your thoughts with him willingly?

“Bucky, I don’t think I’ll ever return to my planet,” you breathe out as your gaze moves back to the scenery in front of you, the burning disk of the sun already hidden behind the hills.

“What do you mean?”

“The ship I came with can’t be fixed and they don’t know that I ended up here. It would take them too long to find me here and that’s if… If my family will be alive by then. I have no idea what’s happening there right now, if the rebels are winning or my father is able to keep things under control. I see very little likelihood of my return.”

Bucky’s heart aches for you, knowing well the pain you feel, he finds it ironic how the both of you are stuck so far away from your homes, seeking shelter at the same place at the same time.

He thinks it’s fate.

“What’s your favorite memory from your home?” he asks and you turn to him with soft and shining eyes. He is expecting you to tell him about it, but instead you decide to show it.

Grabbing his hand that’s closer to you, you bring it up to your face and make him cup the side of your head, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone as you close your eyes and recall the memory, planting into his head as well, taking him back, like the two of you could travel time and space just that easily.

Bucky can barely believe what he is experiencing but he finds himself inside your memory and it all seems so real, as if it was happening in the moment. He is standing in the middle of a meadow filled with luscious, green grass and some kind of flowers, whites and purples and yellows dancing in the soft breeze. At first he thinks he is alone, he doesn’t see you anywhere around him and then he spots a woman in a long, light pink dress, her hair waving behind her in the gentle summer breeze and then he spots a little girl running behind her.

Bucky walks closer to the woman, but she doesn’t acknowledge his presence, she doesn’t even look his way and when he reaches out to touch her arm, his hand goes right through her figure, as if she was just a ghost.

The little girl finally catches up with the woman, a handful of flowers in her hands and when looks up Bucky realizes that it’s you as a child. Your main features can still be found behind the round cheeks and pouty lips.

“Mom! I picked these for you!” your younger self beams, holding the little bouquet of flowers up to your mother, who takes it with a bright smile.

“So beautiful, my love!” she hums, sniffing the flowers as you giggle at her. “But why don’t we use them for something?”

“For what?” you ask with a curious look and Bucky can’t help the smile on his face. It’s such a pure and joyful memory, he almost wishes it was his.

Your mother sits down in the grass, her skirt fanning over her in a circle as she pulls you down to her lap with your back facing her before she combs her fingers gently through your hair and starts braiding it, sticking the little flowers into the braid as she moves down. You start singing some kind of song, one Bucky doesn’t know, and your mother smiles brightly at your chiming voice. She braids with so much care and precision, at the end it looks perfect and very much princess-like with the flowers littering around.

“There. Now you are a bouquet of flowers yourself, my love” she smiles at you, kissing your cheek before letting you out of her arms, watching you dance around in your dress, singing to yourself without a care in the world.

Bucky wants to stay there, more than anything and see more of your younger version and your mother, but he is abruptly pulled back into reality when you pull his hand back from your face and the connection stops. His eyes snap open and they find yours, so enamored and in awe of what he just experienced, he feels like he was let in on a secret no one else knows in the world.

“Wow. That was… amazing,” he breathes out as his hand drops back to his lap while you just smile back at him shyly. “Is that… Is that what it’s gonna be like when you…?”

“Not quite,” you shake your head. “You won’t feel anything, you’ll just have to think back to all the memories you want to be changed or wiped. I’ll be the one stuck in your memories like you were in mine. And from inside, I’ll be able to change them.”

“Will I know later which ones were altered or they won’t be different at all?”

“There’ll be… a kind of shine to them when you’ll think of them after that. It’s gonna be the only tell that they were touched by me. But I won’t change anything you don’t give your consent to.”

Bucky nods, having answered his biggest concerns about tomorrow. Now he feels like he trusts you completely and you’ll be the first person he can open his mind up to without a worry.

No matter how much you tried to get yourself ready for what you’d see in Bucky’s head, nothing could have prepared to the pain and darkness he had to endure during his oddly long human life. All the torture, the blood, the hurt and fear of death, it all comes down crashing on you even after the first session you have with him.

It breaks your heart that such a sweet soul had to go through Hell innocently and now he has to live with everything he was forced to do against his will. You can only hope that the people who did this to him have gotten their rightful punishment.

The first time the two of you sit down to start his treatment you get stuck in his head for hours, going through memories and altering them to take away anything that is connected to the trigger words. You witness the time he was captured and the first time he was sat into the chair that broke him. You can’t help the tears rolling down your face as you use all your power to change the memory and leave him with just a faded picture of his cell and held captive. Bucky asked you not to wipe them entirely, leave him with reminders of what made you be the way he is today and that’s exactly what you do.

When you finally come back you almost faint from exhaustion, Shuri catches you right in time before you could fall off the chair in front of Bucky’s who is equally dizzy, but he still manages to reach out and grab your hand to help you steady yourself. You feel drained and almost tortured, Bucky’s memories imprinting into your own head and you already know they will haunt you for quite some time. Not as long as your mother’s grief did, you were just a child back then and you couldn’t control your power that well, but even though you’ve learned to use your abilities, it will still take a couple of months for you to get rid of the horrors you saw in Bucky’s head.

Bucky sees how broken you look after just the first session and he doesn’t want to believe you’ll be strong enough to finish what you started.

“It’s fine,” you assure him when he asks you again in the evening if you surely want to continue. “I just have to rest and we can go on,” you tell him, giving his arm a squeeze before returning to your room.

That night, you wake from a burning nightmare with a scream, gripping onto the sheets with terror running through your veins. In your dream, you were the one strapped to that chair, going through all the pain Bucky had to bear decades ago. It was vivid and torturous and you know it’s going to return.

But you’re determined to finish the work and you do it over and over again, every day for the next couple of weeks. You go through all of Bucky’s darkest memories, altering and changing them until there’s nothing left from the Winter Soldier in him, just some faint and blurry pictures of him being held by his captors. You take all the pain and let it sink its claws into your own head, clouding your mind with darkness.

Bucky can feel the change in himself instantly after the first time you get into his head and a few days later he sleeps through the night for the first time in forever, oblivious to the fact that not far away from his room, you are fighting his demons every night so he can have his peace.

He is always the one to help you back into your room after an exhausting session and he wakes you up with breakfast in the mornings, always making your favorite. You tell him it’s not necessary, but he insists that this is the least he can do for everything you are doing for him, and he doesn’t even know the worst things you endure for his happiness.

He is always the one to request days off from the treatment, not for himself, but for you. He sees how trying it is and though you would never ask for time off, you don’t have to, because Bucky does it for you. Every third or fourth day he tells you he needs some time to heal and get used to his new mindset, but he just wants you to rest and recharge and though you know it too, you appreciate the gesture.

Some days he asks you to join him for walks just to get you out of the palace and you gladly say yes, desperately needing something to bring the light back into your life and it doesn’t take long to realize that Bucky is that light that can ease the heaviness of the pain you are fighting.

You love seeing his smile as the first thing in the morning, you love how he squeezes your hands every time before you dive into his head and how insists to carrying you to your room even when you’re perfectly capable of walking on your own. You love how chivalrous he is always, something Shuri told you was more common in the times he was born and you adore it that it’s a piece of his past self still present after everything he’s been through.

Bucky is the only one who can pull you out of the dark hole you’ve been stuck in and you promised yourself that you’ll never tell him the price you had to pay for his happiness, because he deserves every ounce of it and you wouldn’t want anything to cloud over it, not even your misery.

It takes five entire weeks to go through everything that turned him into the Winter Soldier and then the day to test if it has worked finally comes. Shuri has made sure to have a capsule ready for the test, one that would keep him under control in case you didn’t succeed and he would be triggered by the words he already knows too well.

“Are you sure I won’t hurt anyone?” Bucky asked cautiously as he was strapped into the capsule, a good majority of the Dora Milaje guarding the lab as well in case the test goes wrong, but both you and Shuri are optimistic about it.

“Calm down, Sergeant. We can handle you,” Shuri jokes before finishing up. “Alright, I’m gonna close this now, but you’ll be able to hear us and we’ll hear you as well,” she informs him and he just nods as she closes the capsule, securing him inside.

You sit on the side, but still close enough to see his face in the capsule. His icy blue stare finds yours and you give him a soft, encouraging smile. You do believe he won’t be triggered and not just because of what you did, but because he has a strong will and if there’s still any part of the Winter Soldier in him, he’ll be able to come over it.

“Okay, ready for the words?” Shuri asks him and breathing out he nods, closing his eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

“Желание,” comes the first word through a speaker and you hold your breath as you stare at his face through the capsule.

“Ржавый. С��мнадцать,” the words carry on and you see him squeeze his eyes a little, fear taking over you that he might break, but it never happens. “Рассвет. Печь. Девять. Добросердечный…”

The trigger words ends and your lips part when his eyes open, noticing the tears in them as he finally realizes that he didn’t turn. The Winter Soldier is finally gone.

“Congratulations, Sergeant. You’re free,” Shuri announces as she opens the capsule and lets him out, sobs shaking from his chest before he is freed from the straps and able to step out of the capsule.

He is quick to rush over to you and wrap you in his embrace, both of you sobbing and crying and you hold onto him tight, as if he was just a memory that could vanish any moment, but he is there, flesh and metal, the Bucky you know and adore so much.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he keeps repeating as his vibranium fingers tangle into your hair at the back of your head.

It’s been over a week of freedom for Bucky and he hasn’t felt better in his life, well, not in this decade. Without the sessions, he now has quite some free time on his hands that he prefers to spend with you, actually.

The two of you have been joined at the hips since his recovery and not just because Bucky feels like he owes his life to you, but because you both can’t help falling for the other in the light of your newly found friendship that’s starting to slowly turn into more.

Bucky hasn’t been shy about showing his adoration and gratitude towards you, not after you’ve seen the darkest side of him and could still look at him the same way. He feels like he has bared his entire soul to you and you accepted it gladly, so there’s no need to beat around the bushes.

However you’ve been still trying to keep him away from the secret you’re hiding. He can’t find out about the nightmares, the screams and the tears you shed every night when his demons come for you. You can’t let him get close enough to see the price you paid for his own happiness. But even with all the cautions you’ve been keeping, you still can’t stop fate from finding its way.

One night Bucky is staying up late, binge watching a series Shuri has recommended for him. He didn’t intend to stay up so late, but before he could realize how fast the time has passed, it was already past two in the morning.

Shutting the laptop down he decides to get himself some water before finally going to sleep. Padding his way down the dark and quiet hallways in only a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, he unintentionally takes the route that goes past your room. He didn’t plan on dropping by, knowing you’re probably asleep by now, just wanted to feel that sense of closeness even in the middle of the night, but his original plans immediately change when he hears your deafening scream coming from the other side of the door.

His blood freezes in his veins and he is quick to turn into combat mode, ready to fight whatever is threatening your life, but as he pushes his way into your room he doesn’t find any intruder, it’s just you, curled up on your bed and even under the thick layer of covers, he can see how badly you’re shaking, your beautiful face churned into a painful frown as you keep your eyes shut.

He immediately realizes that you’re having a nightmare.

He rushes over to the bed and sits to the edge, the mattress dipping underneath his weight as he carefully places a hand to your trembling shoulder.

“Y/N! Y/N, wake up!” he softly shakes you, trying to get you back to consciousness, but you keep tossing and whimpering, a thin layer of sweat covering your skin.

“No, no, please! I’m not the Winter Soldier!” you cry out and Bucky freezes, his jaw clenching at your words, an eerie feeling running down his spine.

“Y/N, it’s just a dream, wake up!” he tries again and your eyes finally shoot open.

Though you’ve woken up, you don’t instantly see what’s really happening around you and you are quick to flinch away from Bucky, pushing yourself to the far end of the bed as you stare back at him with fearful, wide eyes.

“It’s just me. It’s alright, it’s me, Bucky,” he softly reminds you holding his hands up so you can see them. Your chest is heaving and your hands are gripping the sheets so tight, your knuckles are turning white.

“Bucky,” you breathe out and he nods.

“Yeah, it’s me. You had a bad dream, I heard you scream.”

Letting out a shaky breath you close your eyes and try to shake the vivid images that haunted you tonight out of your head, with not much success. Tonight you were beaten up in a cold and dark cell, the man kept telling you that you’re just a monster, a soulless nobody as he kept hitting you before he reached for a weapon that sent electricity through your body until it was too numb to move at your will.

You know it was one of his memories, because you’ve seen this scene before in his head and you remembered it clearly. Only that last time you saw it happen to him and now you were the victim.

“Fuck,” you breathe out, loosening your muscles as you gain your contact back with reality.

“What was the nightmare about?” he quietly asks and your gaze snaps up to meet his. You can’t read his icy blue eyes and for a moment you think about touching him so you could hear his thoughts, but you promised yourself you would never use your powers on him.

“Just… some nonsense stuff,” you lie shaking your head.

“Didn’t sound like that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I heard you beg to someone, telling them that you’re not the Winter Soldier.”

His face hardens as he inspects you while you try your best to hide anything that would tell him more about what you’ve been keeping from him.

“I don’t… I don’t remember it,” you shrug, scooting closer to him as you fix your pillows.

“Y/N, I don’t need superpowers to know that you’re lying,” he retorts and you almost flinch at his words. “Are you having nightmares because of what you saw… in my head?”

For a split second you think about lying. You think about telling him that it’s just because of what you saw and not tell him the real reason of your nightmares, but guilt has been already eating you away for not telling him and you wouldn’t be able to lie straight into his face. So you shake your head and your eyes meet his icy gaze again.

“I’m having… your nightmares.”

He looks confused, eyebrows knitted together as he is tasting your words, not entirely sure about what you meant by them, so you go into the details you’ve been keeping hidden from him.

“I can’t just take memories away and turn them into nothing, Bucky. Memories can only vanish if they get forgotten with time,” you start explaining, hoping you can paint the picture as realistic as possible. “When I changed your memories, I took parts away and… made them mine. And now I have to be the one to fight and forget them, but it happens faster for me than it would have happened to you,” you quickly add, as if it could make it any better.

“Why didn’t you tell me this is the cost of my recovery?” he snaps, clearly mad at you and he has every right, but you just wanted to save him. “I would have never let you do it if it meant you’d be the one to suffer for me, Y/N!”

“I had the chance to help you, I wanted to give you the freedom you deserve!” Tears are stinging your eyes as you stare at his harsh expression, the soft and joyful Bucky you’ve seen these past weeks is now gone.

“But it’s not worth it if you are being tortured by my memories now!”

“It was worth to me!” you snap back, a tear rolling down you cheek. “I might have been selfish for keeping you the details of what it would take to free you, but now you are the one who is being selfish, because you wouldn’t have let me help you if you knew and that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you! I chose to do it and I knew what I was getting myself into and I knew what it’s gonna cost.” More and more tears run down your heated cheeks, soaking your skin before they drop to your shirt or the sheets covering your lower half. Bucky stares back at you in disbelief as you reason about why you did it exactly. “You deserved this second chance and I was your only chance. If I didn’t do it for you, I would have had to live with the guilt forever that I let an innocent man suffer. It’s a small price for the happiness I was able to give you.”

Bucky is in total shock. He has had Steve do selfless shit for him plenty of times, hell, he wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for him, but what you did is just above everything that’s been ever done for him and he is having a hard time accepting that anyone would put up with so much pain and suffering for him willingly. He can’t decide if he wants to scream and shout at you for being so stupid or if he wants to fall to his knees and glorify your name till the end of times.

When you realize that he won’t snap at you again, you carefully scoot closer until you can reach out and touch his face, but you don’t even try to read his thoughts. Not this time. You let his thoughts wrapped in the darkness of the unknown. Bucky melts against your touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a few moments.

“You shouldn’t have done this, Y/N.”

“But I did,” you breathe out with a bitter chuckle. “And it can’t be undone, so you better accept it.”

He cracks a tiny smile, but it quickly vanishes as a thought pops into his head.

“If you have the memories that made me into the Winter Soldier, how come you don’t get triggered by the words?”

“I might own your memories now, but there’s a natural bond with the original owner that can’t be taken. It’s what makes them so vivid and real for you, but it will never be as real to me. The trigger words have no power over me, because the memories are not mine, I don’t have the bond with them.”

“But you still have the nightmares. My nightmares,” he breathes out, a hint of disappointment ringing through his tone, though you’re not sure if it’s because of what you did or because he couldn’t stop you from it.

“They will go away,” you assure him, but you can tell that his guilt is eating him away. “Bucky, I’ll be fine. A few weeks, at max a month and they will be gone. I promise you.”

“You don’t deserve this,” he mumbles under his breath as his hand reaches for yours, squeezing it gently before he brings it to his lips and kisses your knuckles softly. “You don’t deserve any of it.”

“But you deserve happiness,” you reply with a chaste smile that makes his heart flutter in his chest. “Let me give it to you. You’ve had enough pain, Bucky. I’ll take the rest now.”

Bucky stares back at you for a long second before he decides to do whatever he can to make sure you get through it as easily as possible. Pulling the covers back he slides under them, lying down next to you as he pulls you into his embrace.

“Go back to sleep and if you’ll have another nightmare, I’ll be here to wake you up from it and get your mind off of it. You’re safe with me,” he murmurs, as you lay your head to his hard chest, his flesh arm curling around your frame while his vibranium fingers lace together with yours on his stomach. You don’t try to protest against him, you know he won’t leave and quite frankly, you don’t want him to. Knowing that if you go back to the darkness again he’ll be here to pull you out relaxes you, doesn’t let you worry about what kind of horrific scene you are going to be forced to see when you close your eyes next. You melt against him, inhaling his scent, listening to his steady heartbeat under your head as you let yourself go back to sleep, for the first time, ready to face whatever is waiting for you on the other side.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[couldyouspeakmyname]

Hi! 💕 I hope I'm submitting this correctly but I'm assuming you write for the Shishigumi lions? If so, I'd like to request some sfw and nsfw headcanons for them dating a female herbivore and it's totally up to you which members you would like to write for (although Free and Agata are my favourites!)

You know I love the Shishigumi, a lot. So I went overboard. I offer my apologies.

I will say, since I usually put NSFW under cut, but due to length I put it all under cut, I do have a big warning for it as to not surprise y’all

There’s a lot I could write for them, but to keep it reasonable I kept it kinda short! Feel free to request more if you’d like!

I’m also not great at nsfw so I tried my best I hope you like it anyway

SFW

Ibuki (I love him and will never NOT include him in an ask about the Shishigumi)

Ibuki is probably the best one at dating an herbivore. He’s very gentle and conscientious of you as an animal and your limitations 

That being said, he’s top tier respectful. He knows you may not be as physically strong as her is, but that doesn’t mean you’re not strong in your own way. He also likes the idea of protecting you. 

Always walks side by side with you. He’s nervous about holding your hand, but he’d never say it. Do it for him. 

Has eaten meat for YEARS and really struggles with that part of himself. 

Doesn’t kiss you for a really long time, he’s inwardly terrified that he’s going to hurt you. You’d have to make the first move.

Keeps you away from his work. He doesn’t want you to get hurt. 

He knows his world is dark, gritty, and that you shouldn’t be a part of it. He wants to send you away, but can’t. He thinks he’s selfish. You’ll need to reassure him this is what you want. 

Herbivores can’t see in the dark, so he keeps lights on in key areas so you can see better.

Protective. If anyone gives you any trouble he’s quick to correct their behavior, he can be incredibly intimidating when he wants to be

Slouches so you’re around the same height. Give him a back/neck rub at the end of the day. It will make him feel better, and he liked being close to you

The kind of boyfriend that remembers all the major events in your relationships, including small ones. 

Once he gets comfortable, he’s a snuggle bug in private. Cheek kisses, arm around your shoulders when you’re sitting, wrapping his arms around your waist when you’re standing.

Lions can’t purr, but if they COULD oh man, he’d never stop

Free

He’s famous for enjoying females, so the fact that he’s dating someone seriously that’s not a feline is really strange

You should have seen the expression on one of the more flirty female lions when he turned them down. 

Everyone thinks he’s joking about dating you at first, when they see he’s actually serious the teasing dies down, but doesn’t stop (it’s at his expense don’t worry).

“Has hell frozen over? What’s someone like you doing with a guy like Free?”

He honestly doesn’t expect you guys to stay together for very long. He expects it to be a fling. Only it doesn’t stop. He doesn’t get tired of you or eat you....It’s weird but wonderful. 

Has eaten meat for years, and has a hard time letting himself kiss on anywhere but on the cheek. Likes to throw his arm around you and hug you. So he does show affection, but keeps his mouth FAR AWAY from your throat. 

Rests his head on top of yours 

Calls you “Babe” a lot. He has a lot of other nicknames for you to. Some of the lions don’t even know your name, just that you’re dating Free. 

Over. Protective. He knows the market, the animals in it and the animals who come to it. He is very prepared to shoot or maim anyone who tries anything. The fact he’s such a loose canon does help scare people off. Everyone knows who you’re dating and they make sure not to push it. 

He likes to show you off. He’s that guy that carries a picture of you in his wallet. Anyone who asks about him dating someone and he’ll show you off. 

“Sure she’s hot, but have you see the ass on my girlfriend?” 

Likes to show off in front of you. Fights? Yes. Please watch him and root for him.

Tries to get you to get a tattoo, but will NOT get identical ones. He doesn’t want to jinx it. If you wanna have similar tattoos though, that’d be okay. 

Dolph

A relationship with Dolph when you’re an herbivore is really low key. A lot of people don’t know you’re dating. He doesn’t want to put you in jeopardy

He’s pretty serious and it’s hard for him just to relax. He does relax when you’re alone and he knows you’re safe. 

Likes to lay his head on your chest and listen to your heart beat 

When you do go out together, you may have to initiate any hand holding.  He plays it off, but he’s secretly happy

He smokes, and you may have to get on him for that if you don’t like it. It’d be very hard for him to quit 

Will let you braid his mane, but wont keep it in if you go out

Supports your endeavors and does whatever he can to help. He may get a little to into it. You’ll say you wanna take a trip and he has everything planned out. It’s a blessing and a curse. 

Likes how small your hands are in his

When he has a hard day, just hold him. He’s heavy and will lean into you, but he just needs the support

Has to relearn how to be himself, and you really help with that. He smiles more when he’s alone with you. 

Has a really deep, gruff, morning voice

Agata

If lions could blush you bet he’d be constantly red. If you actually look close, the insides of his ears usually are

Loves holding your hand and hugs

Respects your boundaries. If Ibuki is the king of respect, Agata is the prince.

He’s still part of a dangerous organization in the black market, so when he’s working he’s all business. Only a few of the members know about you (just the inner circle). 

Agata, like most of the others, is petrified to kiss you. He probably has the worst anxiety out of anyone else. He’s a meat eater, he’s eaten your kind of meat before. What if He accidently hurts you?

Texts you all the time.

The one you can be on the phone with for hours and not know it

Likes it when you run your fingers through his mane

He’s stronger than he looks, so he may just pick you up and carry you every now and again. He just likes to hold you, let him have this

Brings you flowers and your favorite snacks whenever you have a bad day

Stammers when he’s flustered.

Likes to bury his face in your neck

He has a hard time being who he is versus how he thinks he should be. The fact he can goof off and just enjoy life without the strain of being a lion is a blessing. 

Probably says he loves you before you do. He does it when he’s half asleep on your lap. He falls asleep before he realized he said it, whoops.

You’d have to be the one to be aggressive in public. “Excuse me, he asked for no pickles”  meme

Miguel

He’s pretty quiet in his group, so no one knows you’re dating

Miguel is really good at thinking his feelings and thoughts, but isn’t great at voicing them. He does a lot of little things to show affection. He brings you a warm drink on a cold day, has food for you when you wake up, holds you hand

He likes to try and see the best in everything, even if he knows how ugly the world is

His mane is maintained carefully. Once you get really serious, he may ask you to help him with it. It’s pretty intimate, and when you’re done he looks at you like you have stars in your eyes

He’s the force of protection you don’t even know is there. He’s probably saved your life like, eight times, and never let you know that he did

Sabu

If Miguel is quiet, Sabu is dead silent

No one knows anything about his personal life, let alone his dating life

They find out one day when the group is trying to make plans for a fun sort of day, and he turns them down because you two have a date. It becomes a secret mission for the group to find out who you are.

They don’t, Sabu is the oldest member and one of the most clever

A popular headcanon is that his face is really, REALLY messed up. I share that headcanon. The first time you kiss the scars on his face he chokes up

He goes all in. he’s yours as long as you’ll have him. He expects the same respect from you. 

He’s eaten meat for a really long time, but he has more semblance of control being a smidge older than most of the other lions. 

A bit pessimistic 

Kisses you good morning and goodnight. 

Cuddles on the couch. He’ll watch whatever you want to, but he has his preferences

Wears his face covering everywhere, you’ll need to remind him he can relax when you’re alone

. If you get out of somewhere like work or school late at night, he’s waiting for you to take you home. 

So used to wearing a suit and tie, he doesn’t know how to do casual wear very well. He lets you pick most of his stuff out. 

Jinma

He knows a lot about the black market, so he’s over protective from the get go. However, since he does know so much, he knows what connections to make to keep you safe. 

Eats meat, and is self conscious that you’ll judge him for it. Please be nice to him

Kiss his eye with the spot, it makes him feel special

(Personal headcanon) His mane has never grown right, so he keeps it short. He’s kind of self conscious about it. A lions mane means a lot to male lions, he tries to keep it nice but...it’s nothing like some of the other Shishigumi’s manes. Pet it, run your fingers through it. Males don’t complimented enough. It’ll make him feel loved. 

If you ever wanna go anywhere fancy, because of his connections and knowledge, you can basically go anywhere at any time...as long as it’s in the black market, but he may know a guy that knows a guy. If there’s something more legal you need, he checks in with his other gang members to see who knows who

Has a wicked good memory, remembers pretty much everything you’ve said

Dope

A gentleman. He will hold doors open for you, offer his arm and hand when you walk together, brings you flowers. 

He, like all the Shishigumi, eats meat. He is self conscious about it an doesn’t want to scare you away. He will be upfront about it though. He wants honesty. he talks it out with you, and he will try and cut back but being part of the Shishigumi, and a meat addict, means it’s very hard for him to stop. He probably wont, not completely, but he tries not to do it around you. 

He doesn’t brag he’s dating you, but if he’s asked he gets this really peaceful look on his face

If you ever take him shopping at any flea market or outdoor stalls, he will get you the best bargain. He’s also amazing at helping you with any work contracts, apartment contracts and anything else.

Likes it when you brush his mane, and lets you put it up for him before he goes out. He doesn’t let you do anything fancy, but says when you do it it somehow turns out better

Hino

Hino is very attractive. His looks are what brings jobs in, so he keeps the fact that you’re dating a secret for business. 

Gives you extra affection in private because of it. Kisses, hugs, all that. His favorite is to kiss the back of your hand, he is kind of a romantic. 

Don’t get him wrong, he’s still a lion. If he hears that an animal is giving you a hard time, he will take them down and look handsome AF doing it

Eats meat, and like all the other lions worries for your safety. He tends to eat before he sees you, but after a while of you dating he becomes more relaxed. He doesn’t eat in front of you though. 

Spends a ton of time getting ready for the day, you may have to fight him for the bathroom 

Compliments you a lot. He uses the basic one liners at his job with older, lonely, animals. So, he uses unique ones for you. 

“I think the sun is jealous of your smile”

Totally lets your style his mane, and if you’re going out to somewhere not the black market, he’ll keep whatever style you give him. He’s confident and pulls anything off

Calls you Darling

Worst bedhead. 

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

NSFW Manage yourselves safely!

Ibuki 

It was almost impossible to get him in bed with you. He’s so worried and full of anxiety. Any mood you get in, you instantly gets ruined by him being worried he’ll eat you

You’re going to have to plan in advance and spend a lot of time talking about safety and safe words

Honestly? He does try and eat you the first time. Not intentionally and he stops himself, but to be fair to HIM as an herbivore...you almost let him

It kind of ruins the mood and you end up talking it out with him. He’s so ashamed he can’t look at you for a while. 

Once time goes by, and you move pretty slow, but it’s worth it. Sex with Ibuki is amazing

Remember how Ibuki is really diligent about your limitations and you as  an herbivore? Pays OFF when he’s with you

He’s all about foreplay and making sure you are ready and prepared before he does anything. Ibuki has big dick energy. He doesn’t brag but is blessed. But he knows that with you being smaller than him, he’s not down to hurt you with it 

 He starts keeping his nails short for you. The other guys may try and tease him for it, but Ibuki gets defensive over you and so it’s short lived.

His voice drops when he’s in the mood, and he borderline growls. You’ve been teasing him all day, you really should make it up to him

Surprisingly good at dirty talk, it kind of comes naturally to him and neither of you know why

Loves your thighs, and his whiskers tickle. 

He has big hands, and when you’re alone he may saunter up behind you and run them down your sides slowly, kissing your check and down your neck. 

Best at aftercare, no matter how tired he is, he will take care of you 

Free

Is more concerned than he lets on. He tries to pretend he’s all confidence, but he has a pretty hard time getting to the point of actually having sex with you. He actually start actively avoiding it. He blue balls himself. Someone help him.

He’s used to doing what comes natural, and what if what comes natural means hurting you? He’d rather not.

When you do finally try and have sex, he doesn’t kill you...but he does bite you. You need stitches, and he has even more of a complex (tell him he just gave you a cool tattoo or something)

He may actively avoid you or being near you. It’s a set back. He’s not like Ibuki who can talk it out, he’s supposed to be a lion, not a scaredy cat. 

You have to put your foot down. You’re dating a bad ass mafia lion, not some nervous school boy. Remind him about how much you care about him and how much you want him.

The second time goes better, but he’s a LOT more careful. he does maim a few pillows, claws the mattress. Their sacrifice is appreciated. (you two become famous for ruining and destroying beds. The other guys are both impressed and disgusted. Free has no shame)

Trims his claws so he can use them the next time. He’s learning.

This male is a womanizer, but he’s not great at doing things that females would stay for? It’s more of a hit-it-and go. He knows some tricks but...not a lot. 

Tries his best though. Loves to dig his hands in your hips. Leaves bruises. One time he got hammered and asked Ibuki for advice. Ibuki was helpful, but needed therapy afterwards. 

Rough sex 90% of the time (that other 10 is passionate sex that lasts hours, it’s pretty impressive)

Once you guys get comfortable, hope you’re okay with bite marks and kiss marks. You’d have to wear winter clothing 24/7 to hide them all. He’s VERY proud of you being his female, he doesn’t want any other male getting ideas

Turns him on if you take control. Most things you do turns him on. He’s near insatiable. You could roll out of bed, eyes still squinty, mascara from last night all over, and he’s like..man, that’s hot. Hope you’re okay with having sex in weird places, he’s going to ask. 

Not great at aftercare, but BOY can he snuggle. If you’re able to walk afterwards, you wont be able to. Clingy. 

Dolph

Wants it to happen organically, but when it finally does, he catches himself.

He’s looking at you under him, how your eyes sparkle and shine, and how vulnerable you are...And the idea that he could rip out your throat comes to mind and it terrifies him. He practically throws himself off you

You have to reassure him and talk to him. 

Dolph is careful with you the first time, and while he doesn’t bite you, he does dig his claws in a little to much. They may or may not scar. He feels bad, but he’s so in the moment he can’t help it

May drool a little. Don’t tease him until later. 

He doesn’t stop until you’re satisfied. It’s a promise. You will NOT be able to walk the next day. He’s going to make the claw marks up to you if it kills you and wakes everyone in ear shot. 

Out of all of the lions, you’re safest with Dolph. He’s ”the serious one”, which makes him practical and knowing. He actually does research and goes online to inform himself. 

Love bites. He doesn’t break skin, so you’re safe there. 

Loves it when you try and claw him. You can’t do a lot, as an herbivore, but the fact your instincts try and make you...really gets him going. 

Casual at aftercare. Better than average but nothing near Ibuki or Agata.

Not a sex maniac, and with work, it’s not high on his priority list. He’ll make up for it though ;)

Agata

Likes to pretend it’s not something he’s interested in, but he is. He just doesn’t want to pressure you, or scare you. Dating a lion is one thing, being fully exposed is another and he knows it. 

He thinks about it a lot, but doesn’t act on it. You probably will have to take the lead. Agata gets way to in his head.

The sweetest kisser ever, but when he’s heated they’re like fire. Biting your lip, you face carefully with his claws just teetering on the edge of digging in. He loves kissing you, doesn’t matter where. 

Kissing will lead to other things if you don’t stop him, but do you really want to?

Likes to pull you close, and the more heated he gets the more likely he’s going to grind on you without realizing he’s doing it

Totally whines if you stop kissing him. 

Younger than the rest of the Shishigumi, and is more prone to using his instincts. He eats meat and is afraid of hurting you, but his desire to fuck your brains out is far greater than the instinct to eat you

He does end up biting you, and uses his claws. The damage he does isn’t serious, but he still fuses over you when its over. 

Takes a while to let himself near you like that again. He beats himself up. You may have to prove to him you’re tougher than you look. 

When you try again, he makes up for his shortcomings. You’re not sleeping tonight, call in sick to work tomorrow. 

You may have to ask him to slow down. He intends to go all night, you may have to curb his enthusiasm. Don’t forget to take breaks for water so you don’t pass out. 

Wont stop until you’re satisfied. Doesn’t matter how tired he is. 

Sweet nothings in your ear non stop...between the moaning. He’s surprisingly vocal

Talk to him too. Part of the reason he cares so much about you is because you see him for who he is, not his status as a lion. 

Since he doesn’t plan having sex with you, and just lets it happen naturally, he always has things in his room for you. Just in case. Please don’t tease him about it, the other lions do that enough. 

Is totally the kind of guy to help you bathe afterwards if you want.

One of the biggest snugglebugs 

Miguel

Miguel is worried about having sex with you, but no one knows it but him. 

He’s the brawn of the group, and is strong as hell. He may end up trying to show off and you may end up in positions when you have to totally vulnerable (if it makes you uncomfortable, he’ll adjust. Just talk to him)

Muscles for days. The lion is made of stone, but has surprisingly soft touches. He knows his body and knows how to use it

He’s never had sex with an herbivore, he’s thought about it, but having sex with something he may eat later didn’t sit well with him. You are a different story. He’s thought about it a little to much

First time he has sex with you he claws you, and they’re pretty deep. You end up getting stitches. Unlike a lot of the other lions though, he doesn’t avoid you afterwards. He’s there when you get stitches, intimidating the doctor (who has a small heart attack every time Miguel moves)

Apologizes but isn’t afraid to try again. He trims his claws this time, you should really tell him the other things his fingers could be used for outside clawing your back. 

Do not mess with his mane or pull it, he’ll get grumpy. 

Loves your chest and carefully uses his tongue. Doesn’t matter what size they are, he’s a fan. 

Not very vocal, but likes it when you are. 

Sabu

Sabu is older and more controlled, so you’re pretty safe with him. 

He doesn’t seem like he’s interested in it, and since he doesn’t talk much, him bringing it up comes out of no where.

“Wanna have sex?”

Just out of no where. He doesn’t talk much so he doesn’t beat around the bush. You were just scrolling on your phone, and you nearly drop it.

He doesn’t hurt you when you have sex, not even by accident, but the couch you were on gets shredded. It looks like an animal twice his size attacked it. 

Runs his hands over your body, he can’t stop touching you. 

Kiss his scars, it sooths him, and he’ll pay you back

Loves your neck, but is careful not to leave any marks (you have no idea how he doesn’t, it’s like magic)

He doesn’t care if you leave kiss marks on him

No great with aftercare, but will make sure you’re okay and kisses your cheeks and on top of your head

Jinma

Disaster. He doesn’t mean to be, he just is

He wants it to be perfect, but while he knows everything about the black market, he doesn’t know much about having sex with an herbivore. He never really though of it, and now that he is...help him. He knows rumors of herbivore and carnivore relationships that have gone wrong so...he kind of freezes up. That, and he hasn’t been in a lot of long term relationships. 

While the others do their research, Jinma goes way to into it and becomes a bit overwhelmed, but hides it. 

You end up having to take control. For someone who knows the black market like the back of his hand, Jinma is the student and you are the teacher. You’re an herbivore, and you’re going to show him just how much you know (you are the captain now)

He bites you, and he does break the skin, but he just closes his mouth and allows you to decide if you wanna continue or stop

He starts keeping a med kit in his room just in case. 

He gets better, the more he learn and the more serious he is with you. Soon he’s compiling a book of knowledge on you.. He knows where to touch to make your toes curl, what to say, and your weak spots

He takes everything he learns and uses it against you one night. He’s a fast learner. 

 Dope

Part of negotiations is to know what a person wants and what they will go through to get it. So, when you bring it up, the look in your eyes is all it takes for him to know he needs to take you serious. 

Usually his kisses are quick and satisfying, but once he actually starts to seriously kiss you its like it’s the last time he’s going to do it. 

Likes to have you in his lap. Seeing your face is important to him. Every movement and actions of your body paints a picture of what you want. 

Third best at foreplay, what drags him down is he watches you to the point that he forgets what he’s doing

When you first have sex, he ends up clawing your hips and biting your lip to hard. You lip bleeds a little and his nails break the skin.  He’s a little worried, but if you don’t tell him to stop he’ll get permission to keep going. 

Ends up also biting you, but nothing to terrible or life altering. 

He loves watching you, body language tells a person a lot about someone, so no matter where or how, he likes seeing your face. 

Afterwards, he makes sure you’re okay, and comfortable, He does the basics, but doesn’t go overboard 

May leave a kiss mark or two, but it’s accidental. He doesn’t want to embarrass you (even if seeing you with kiss marks makes the animal in him deeply satisfied)

Hino

Hino knows a females body like no other. He’s not exactly promiscuous, but he likes being satisfied

Since dating you, he hasn’t been with any other females, he’s very needy. He’s not as bad as Free, but he’s getting there.

You have no idea how he seduces you every time, one moment you’re making tea, the next, you’re on the kitchen counter 

The first time you try and have sex with him, he claws you way to hard and you end up having to get stitches and fixed up. He feels awful and can’t look you in the eye. He swears he will NEVER do it again

He never does, he keeps to his word

Unlike some of the other lions, the fact he hurt you doesn’t keep him away. He feels bad, but now he’s going to try twice as hard to make sure every time he has sex with you is amazing.

Wont stop until you’re satisfied, and just seems to naturally know your body and what you like.

While he’s composed in public, you get to see a little wild in his eyes when he fucks you. He has this low growl that rumbles through his chest that you feel deep in your body the tighter he holds you

Probably has had sex with you on most surfaces in your home. 

Above average at aftercare. He tries, but having more one night stands than not hasn’t equipped him for great aftercare. He learns though. 

[jalebi-likes]

What the heck? Thoughts about Imlie Show:

(miss the above vibes, just saying)

Just when I was getting invested in the show Imlie with the most brilliant and satisfying introspection of Aryan and an emotional scene of the female lead running free from a forced wedding - which is very powerful considering we’ve always seen women get tied into forced marriages off late - we see her mother (who has been a liberal and pushed her daughter to great heights) FORCE her daughter into a marriage with the male lead cause the mum thinks that the male lead is amazing.

Which he is.

BUT WHEN YOUR OWN DAUGHTER DOESN’T WANT TO MARRY THAT MEANS EVERYTHING! Also considering that Meethi (Imlie’s mum) has been shown to keep her daughter above everything.

It’s so disappointing because there were a THOUSAND reasons to show why Imlie returned to the mandap to marry Aryan.

1) she remembers that Aryan’s aunt is behind Aryan’s wealth and might get him married off the this outer girl she colludes with to get Aryan’s wealth

2) Imlie realizes that even though walking out is her choice, the implications and insult and disrespect to the Rathores who have otherwise shown her kindness is everything and they don’t deserve this disrespect

3) she overhears the people holding the fact two widowed women blessed the marriage for the reason for the wedding to not happen

So she goes back to the Rathores to help them BECAUSE THAT IS WHO IMLIE IS. Her selflessness is her flaw and strength. We would’ve gotten such powerful scenes with that narrative because:

- getting married to Aryan is her choice

- aryan, who has always been bitter and critical about how she sacrifices herself to people who show her bare minimum, is now at the other end of the sacrifice. How does it feel to benefit from someone’s selflessness?

- Imlie telling Aryan that he did get back her trust by actually giving her the choice of the marriage and perhaps he’s going to tell her something about his feelings and she says she’s going to require this marriage to be nullified asap. And she isn’t giving him any threat, she just hopes and trusts he will agree to the divorce because:

1) she’s 19 and she deserves a life outside two marriages

2) she would only ever want to marry out of love - so desperate she was in that correlation that she fell in love with whom she married regardless of the circumstances and the outcomes were horrible and she doesn’t want that to happen again

3) teesri baat udhaar rahi 😉

Imagine the wave of angst of Aryan realizing his denial has no meaning because Imlie will never love him. How do you live with someone you love and come to a realization they’ll never love - and it’s not your fault, it’s their own life experiences.

Ugh imagine them fighting villains together again. Like now with their misunderstandings resolved - I believe Imlie will immediately forgive Aryan for whatever he did even if his actions hurt her because she’s kind and introspective that revenge kills people instead of serving vengeance.

Omg imagine her saying “I never wanted you to pursue revenge not because I had some feelings left for a man who has destroyed my definition of love and marriage. No, it’s that I know you’re a better man, a better friend, and I don’t want to lose you and your goodness in this.”

Imagine Aryan being humbled by her forgiveness. His gadhi isn’t that much a gadhi.

And simply imagine future tracks

- them fighting villain blue kaaki and paapi gudiya cause something was wrong with Imlie getting continuously kidnapped or hurt and something

- Ofc Aditya as an antagonist and maybe malini and Chaturvedi’s make a comeback

- blossoming friendship of Aryan and Imlie again

- Imlie aghast at falling in love! Something she’s always avoided and the fear of falling for Aryan. IMAGINE THE ANGSTTTTTTTT.

Ugh!

Aryan’s one sided love is actually beautiful - not the toxic Ranbir Kapoor brand film type - no it’s mixed with fondness, reverence, a tinge of denial and no rush of making it mutual. It’s a lot of “I like her, that’s my problem.” - reminds me of Aditya from Jab We Met.

But nope we have her becoming a servant in the promo and meethi forcing her daughter to be married off 🤦‍♀️

I do love the sensibilities of Atif Sir and his love for the show is really visible so I truly truly hope that we get something healthy between Aryan and Imlie - that’s my most basic wish. I only hope for the show to remember why Imlie and Aryan are a hit.

Also man… damn their chemistry. That gif above is exactly when I fell for them. That infectious laughter and his admiration - boy fell for her and I felt for them.

[sleepysnk]

Team Player: Chapter Seven

Pairings: Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2.8k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist

The past four days had been slow for Eren and (Y/N). All the two have been doing is communicating ideas to help improve his teamwork, of course it was a lot of Eren disagreeing or saying it wouldn't work. (Y/N) assured him that it would help, and it would also give him some time for his ankle to heal. 

It wasn't the easiest convincing Eren of all people, sometimes he didn't want to listen, but (Y/N) would tell him in the end it'd be worth it and he shouldn't be complaining, because it gets him nowhere. 

Here they were, sitting in class talking about everything. 

"How else could I change it? There aren't many ideas!" Eren complained, shrugging his shoulders. 

(Y/N) sighed, rubbing her temples. "Look Eren, we'll figure it out soon. Just help me with this," she replied, scooching her chair closer to him. "Look this up for me please," she added, looking at the website she had jotted down. 

Eren sighed in annoyance and opened his laptop to the slideshow. Most of it was already done by (Y/N), because of their deal. It was itching at Eren at how much he wanted to change about it, all of it looked so fancy, and he just wanted to restart. 

"(Y/N), Eren, how is the project going?" Professor Ackerman asked, approaching their table. 

She rubbed the back of her neck. "Uh.. it's going well!" she replied, smiling nervously at her professor. 

His face remained stoic as he shrugged. "I hope it goes well, this is worth your grade. Keep up the good work," he replied, walking towards another table. 

(Y/N) sighed with relief as she turned towards Eren, who had a giant smirk on his face. 

"What?!" she asked, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. 

He chuckled a bit. "Oh nothin', you seemed so scared of Professor Ackerman over there. You looked like you were gonna fall over," he said, smirking again. 

(Y/N) felt heat grow onto her cheeks. "I wasn't scared! He's just a hard teacher to pass, that's all. God, shut up!" she said, rolling her eyes at him. 

Eren laughed again, smirking in the process. "Whatever you say princess," he replied in a teasing voice. 

She looked at him again with an annoyed expression. "Will you shut up with that nickname? It's so gross! Ugh," she said, turning her face away.

"Is that why your face is all heated up? I can tell, but nah I like that name for you. It's funny," he said, chuckling. 

(Y/N) gave him the middle finger, covering her face. "Can we just focus?" she asked, rolling her eyes. 

Eren leaned back in his chair. "Yeah fine… but we need to figure out ways to improve my 'teamwork' or whatever," he said, looking towards her. "We don't have much time until the championship game," he added.

(Y/N) furrowed her brows and turned towards him. "When is that game?" she asked, nodding her head. 

"I don't know, my coach never exactly knows those dates until we win the game," he replied, sitting up. "I'm certain it's soon so we have to get something done," he added. 

She nodded, looking at her phone. "How about tomorrow I come by your dorm, we can do this idea. It may work," she said, looking up at him. 

"At my dorm huh? (Y/N) I never took you as that type," Eren said, smirking. 

She smacked his head, causing him to almost fall out of his chair. "Can you not? I'm trying to explain, and I'm not talking about that stuff. Just wait until we hangout," she said, rolling her eyes. 

He rubbed the side of his head. "Okay fine! I was just messing with you," he said. 

She sighed. "God you're a pain in the ass," she said, looking back towards her laptop.

Eren crossed his arms. "Whatever you say (Y/N)," he replied, looking around the classroom. 

"Class is over! Be sure to finish your projects," Professor Ackerman yelled. 

Eren and (Y/N) stood up, exiting class together. "I'll see you tomorrow then?" she said, nodding her head. 

He smiled. "Yeah! Do you need my dorm number?" he asked, putting his hands in his pockets. 

She looked on her phone. "Yeah I actually do," she replied. 

Eren took his phone out, going to send her a message. "There ya go!" he said, looking down at her. "It isn't too far from yours," he added. 

(Y/N) looked down at his message. "Yeah, it's pretty close actually. I'll probably come by around 6 or 7, because that's when my classes end." she explained, putting her phone into her pocket. 

He nodded. "Sounds like a plan!" he said, going in the opposite direction. "See you tomorrow," he added, turning to walk away. 

(Y/N) smiled, shaking her head as he walked away. Who knew he could be such an idiot, but cute at the same time? She hated thinking Eren was attractive, but she couldn't exactly say he wasn't charming. His brunette hair tied up in a bun, his hands, his height, those piercing green eyes, the cologne he wore, and those broad shoulders. 

God, why was she thinking of him that way? It's Eren Jaeger. The asshole who ruined her reputation. 

(Y/N) pushed the thoughts out of her head, and made her way back to her dorm. She silently prayed that tomorrow would be a good day, and hopefully Eren doesn't act like an ass towards her. 

-

The next day seemed to fly by for the two, Eren didn't have practice so he had a bunch of free time to get ready for (Y/N) to come by his dorm. For some reason, he felt extra? He re-did his bed which was out of the ordinary, he took a shower, he even put on extra cologne. 

It was out of the ordinary for sure, Eren never usually got this ready for someone. He usually would just leave things the way they are, but it felt different. 

Weird how he got extra for (Y/N) out of all people, the two never got along before, and it surprised Armin when he mentioned it. Armin stated that he should be thankful for her help, and he should feel blessed that a person like her even agreed. Considering what happened three years ago. 

Eren was laying on his bed, the time on his phone reading 6:38 P.M. Eren remembered that her classes went a bit later, since she was a smart student. She was similar to Armin, having classes at weird hours of the day while others just did the usual morning to afternoon classes. 

His phone suddenly vibrated. He grabbed it, opening the message. 

(Y/N): hey um, are we meeting up? I just wanted to ask.

Eren: yeah we are, you can come by rn.

(Y/N): okay great! i'm on my way.

Eren sighed sitting up to fix his hair, he tied it into a messy bun, and sprayed some cologne on as he waited for her to arrive. His mind wandered to what ideas she had to fix his teamwork skills, was it the project? He didn't have any idea what she meant. 

A sudden knock came from the door. Eren stood up, making his way over and opening it to see (Y/N) standing there with her backpack. 

"Hey.. come in," he said, moving so could enter his dorm.

(Y/N) entered and looked around his dorm. "Nice dorm," she said, smiling a bit. "I'm going to finish the project first then we'll get onto my idea," she added, putting her backpack down. 

Eren shut the door and went to his side of the bed. "Alright.. sounds cool," he replied, crossing his legs on his bed. "Are you sure you don't need help?" he asked. 

She looked up from her laptop. "Yeah I'm fine.. just give me a few minutes," she replied, opening her folder and grabbing her paper. 

Eren looked at the slideshow as she edited it and added information. He watched the way her eyes squinted or the way she chewed her lip, Eren couldn't help but stare. She looked kind of.. cute.

"Eren! I need you to look at this really quick," she said, breaking him out of his thoughts. 

He shook his head, going to look at the slide she was at. He read through the information she put, he looked back up to see her eyes on his. 

"Does it look fine?" she asked, nodding her head. 

Eren leaned back against the wall. "Yeah! That looks fine, but are you sure you don't need any help?" he asked, raising a brow.

(Y/N) crossed her arms over her chest. "Do I need to remind you of the deal? Trust me Eren I got this, just sit back and let me finish this." she replied, looking back down at her laptop.

He sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Okay fine.." he mumbled, looking around the room.

Within a few minutes she finished the rest of the presentation, she felt satisfied with the project. Hopefully Eren wouldn't pull what he did freshmen year and fuck it over, that's why she decided to submit it as early as she could so no new changes could be made without the professor noticing. 

"Alright.. done!" she said, closing her laptop. 

Eren sat up and clicked his phone off. "So what now? What did you want to do?" he asked, nodding at her. 

She looked over at him. "So I know this sounds odd.. but it's a good way to help with your teamwork. Do you mind if we clean your dorm?" she asked, grabbing her backpack.

His brows furrowed. "Clean my room? How is that going to help me?" he asked. 

She sighed. "It involves teamwork if it's the two of us and there are a few ways it helps. It helps communicate, share ideas, and it can be useful," she replied. "Trust me, it was either this or we go find people to play football with." she added, taking out some trash bags. 

Eren looked at the stuff on his bed. "If you say so.." he mumbled and stood up. 

The two began to clean his side of the dorm, (Y/N) was a bit surprised seeing how his side wasn't actually that dirty, but it still needed a lot of work. Eren was tossing out some garbage that was under his bed, while (Y/N) sorted through his dresser and table. 

"You got ibuprofen as your pain killers?" she asked, holding the bottle. 

Eren looked over and nodded. "Yeah that's what the nurse gave me," he replied. 

She chuckled a bit. "No wonder you aren't healed, these are baby painkillers. You need some Tylenol," she said, putting the bottle back onto the dresser. 

Eren tossed the bag of garbage onto the floor, he tossed a few things off his nightstand and put them onto his bed. 

"Should I do my bed?" he asked, looking over at (Y/N).

She looked over at it. "Furniture first! Your bed should be last," she replied, turning back to his dresser. "Eren, can you give me the cleaner?" she asked.

Eren grabbed the cleaner and walked up behind her. She turned around and her breath hitched, she forgot how tall Eren had gotten. His breath slightly fanned over her face. 

"Here," he replied, going back to his nightstand. 

Her heart raced a bit. She turned back to his dresser and sprayed the lemon scented cleaner onto it, she wiped it up and tossed it into the garbage bag. 

(Y/N) began to place back some of the items on his dresser, she looked at the different football trophies he had or the photos of his family. She vaguely remembered the mention of a sister, Mikasa was it? She placed the frame back onto the dresser and turned towards Eren. 

He was on his phone watching something. 

She walked over and grabbed it. "Come on! Let's keep going," she said and put his phone on his dresser. 

He sighed in annoyance. "Why is this so hard?" he asked with a whine. 

She crossed her arms over her chest. "It isn't that hard Eren. You're just lazy right now," she replied. "Come on, let's do your bed." she added and walked towards the end of his bed. 

He stood up and threw the sheets off his bed. 

"Someone's aggressive," (Y/N) said, picking up his comforter. 

Eren rolled his eyes playfully. "I just wanna get this over with," he replied, walking to the other side of his bed. 

"Here.. tuck this in on your side," she said and flipped the sheet towards him. 

Eren grabbed the ends of the sheet, lifting the mattress a bit as he tucked the sheet under it. (Y/N) did the same. 

Within a few minutes his bed was made and his side of the dorm was clean. Eren was surprised at how clean it was, it hadn't been this clean since he first moved in three years ago. He felt a bit tired from all the cleaning. 

"Toss me my phone," (Y/N) said and walked towards Eren. 

He handed the cellphone to her, she opened her timer app and nodded. 

"What?" Eren asked and raised a brow. 

She smiled a bit. "I timed this whole thing.. we got it done in less than an hour," she replied, showing her phone to him. 

He raised his brows in surprise. "Damn.. it takes me usually about an hour or more," he said. 

(Y/N) giggled a bit. "See? That's what I was trying to teach you. Working with someone else can get things done quicker, and we did organize a lot of your stuff which shared ideas," she replied. 

Eren fully understood what she was trying to do now, it didn't seem so bad afterall. 

"That makes a lot of sense," he said, chuckling a bit. "But uh.. thank you for helping me with my room," he added and smiled at her. 

She couldn't help but admire his nice smile, his teeth were pearly white. "O-Oh! Yeah totally, it was no problem." she said, looking away as her cheeks heated up. 

They sat there for a while, staring at each other. 

"Uh.. I should get going. It's getting pretty late," (Y/N) said, breaking the silence between them. 

Eren blinked a bit. "Oh yeah totally.. um, do you want me to walk you back? It can be dangerous you know," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Yeah sure.. that'd be nice," she said and grabbed her backpack off the floor. 

The two stood up, Eren put his slides on and followed (Y/N) out the door. He exited the doors of his residence halls with her, she shivered a bit as the cooler air hit her skin. 

"Cold huh?" he asked, laughing a bit as he watched her attempt to warm herself. 

She smiled a bit. "Yeah.. I kind of miss summer," she replied and looked down at the ground. 

Eren nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I miss it too but I love fall, it's football season." he said and smiled at the thought of the sport. 

They got to the residence hall that she stayed in, Eren opened the door for her and watched as she made her way inside. Eren followed her down the hall to her dorm, he remembered her number like the back of his hand. 

She stopped as she got to the door. "Well I hoped helping you did something," she said, smiling a bit. 

Eren chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah it did in a way," he replied, staring down at her. 

They stared at each other again. Something inside Eren was tempting him to do something to her, not something bad, he was tempted to..

"Thanks for walking me back. It means a lot," she said, breaking Eren out of his thoughts.

He shook his head. "Uh yeah! No problem, I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked, nodding his head. 

She smiled. "Yeah totally, be careful. Don't fall," she said, giggling a bit. 

He rolled his eyes playfully. "I haven't fallen yet, but thanks for the concern princess" he said, chuckling at her nickname. 

(Y/N) slapped his arm and opened her dorm door. "Shut up," she said and laughed. 

"Alright whatever, see ya" Eren said, waving at her.

"Goodnight," (Y/N) replied, shutting the door to her dorm.

Eren sighed as he left her residence hall, he was tempted. He was so tempted to just lean down and…

Nevermind. 

(Y/N) lied down on her bed, she couldn't get Eren out of her mind. Yeah it was normal to think of him usually, but this was different. She thought of him on a daily basis, she was kind of disappointed to see him leave her dorm. She wanted him to stay for some reason. 

Something in her wanted Eren around.

tagging: @ererokii @eremiie @callmepromise @katsuhera @moomii-hime @luvrboykento @flam3bird @thicmitten @simpforerensattacktitan @daughter-of-the-stars11 @mariardgzn @basket-flower-chick @just-a-little-sad @chayauwu @sofi-yeager @ryan249057 @bell0214 @lunamoonawatcher

[svnarintaro]

an overdue gift

a/n: this was for a server collab !! totally not self indulgent lolzies 

synopsis: the nekoma team has been trying their hardest to ease this friendly rivalry that has been going on since kindergarten, their greatest plot yet was on the night of your third year christmas party, who knows? maybe the mistletoe does have some christmas magic. 

word count: 1.4k

pairing: kuroo tetsurou x reader

     if you had told your five year old self that the kid that you punched on your second day of kindergarten was standing underneath the mistletoe with you, you would either snort at that joke or just cry knowing that you had to be within his vicinity. you see kuroo tetsurou was one headstrong idiot that you have known since kindergarten, the two of you really had so many competitions it practically made your teacher’s head spin. 

     ever since the two of you fought over a measly crayon and ended up breaking it the two of you sealed your fate. as the years went on he was in your class, and he was slowly getting smarter, but with that blessing the dreaded bragging rights that came along with it. 

flashback to nekoma middle school second year 

     “you only got 86%?! i got a 97%~~ poor poor y/n chan has the lower mark~” kuroo stuck his tongue out as you chased after him to shut up. “well I’m overly apologetic that I am not hyper focused on school to give me satisfaction,” you shot back. as second years in middle school you had a really sharp tongue sometimes. 

flashback to nekoma high school first year

    “you need a tutor shortstack?” you jumped as you turned to see kuroo leaning on the wall as you put your shoes away. “piss off jerk, i don't need help from you.” kuroo grabbed his shirt as if his chest was hit. “i can’t believe my all time best friend is saying such horrible things about me?! after all we’ve been through.. what a travesty. i thought you would warm up to me by now.”

flash forward to the present 

    every year the nekoma parent council was really involved and wanted a christmas party to happen. it was lightly supervised by parents and teachers but it was nonetheless fun for everyone. you always ended up going with your friends and bumping into kuroo mid way through the party. the two of you bickered lightly and talked for hours on end and every single year the volleyball club would try to get the two of you underneath a mistletoe. the whole team saw how the two of you interacted, they were all determined for the two of you to somehow end up together by the time you two were in the third year. 

     in your second year yamamoto was so determined to get the two of you underneath the mistletoe together and he knew how it was going to happen. he was waiting for this given opportunity for weeks, for the two of you to get up close and personal and then put it above the two of you. 

    yamamoto tried so hard to really get the two of you to fall for each other cause the whole team could practically feel the tension between the two of you and honestly he played way more aggressively when you were in the gym. he got all motivated from your presence alone. so the team kind of had this on the side plan to get the two of you together so the madness would calm down. kenma was even in on it at this point. 

    it was your last year at nekoma. your third and final year and this was the moment that the team needed the two of you to come together and finally become a couple. kuroo kept bothering you about the party. “aww poor little y/n doesn’t have a date to the christmas party again eh?” he laughed out, “well it’s not as if you have one either. You’re not exactly casanova.” you shot back teasingly.

    around the corner was the rest of the volleyball team. “alright you guys see that? they’re going to try looking for each other at the party. so this will be the perfect time to get them to confess.” lev, almost squealed out of pure excitement. “So which plan are we going with tonight boys?” the whole group stopped and thought about it. “plan A is a go.” yaku clapped his hands to get their attention. What a long night this was going to be. 

     this year the party was being held in the yaku residence. all the third years piled into the house, kuroo was there fairly early and was hanging out with kai and yaku for a bit looking for another person the whole time, “looking for someone, idiot?” yaku snickered to see the most composed person he knew to be this desperate to see someone. kuroo was about to curse him out until he saw you come in with a few friends, and a smirk came onto his face. 

     you were actually pretty excited for the last christmas party of the year so you were enthusiastic. with kuroo coming in your direction yaku texted the underclassmen to sneak through the back door and get into his room and get the mistletoe ready. 

     kuroo made his way to where you were and that was near the stairs “ah i see a little short stack down there with actual friends at a party?!” you jumped to see the scheming captain behind you and him smirking down at you. “wow i do feel special that the great kuroo tetsurou has graced me with his presence.” you sarcastically giggled out. kuroo stepped even closer towards you, “will you be even more pleased if i were to get even closer?” his smirk grew wider and wider until the two of you heard giggling. 

     “lev you let me hold it you’re going to drop it on them.” “well it isn’t my issue it’s tora’s fault if it falls,” “oi blame kenma for not participating at all.” the two of you looked in the direction of the voices. To see yamamoto, inouka, lev and kenma arguing while one of them was holding the mistletoe above you and the captain's heads. “you guys better clench your damn teeth when I get my hands on all four of you!” kuroo growled out and chased after all of them, leaving you alone to laugh at the situation. 

     an hour passed after the underclassmen’s fiasco and you were outside to get out of the really stuffy house to get some fresh air. the sun was already down and the moon was slowly coming up, “hey, you want some company?” you knew who the voice was so you didn’t bother turning around. “yeah, actually it would be kind of nice..” you spoke out as you let him stand next to you. “It’s our last year kuroo, it felt like time kind of zoomed past us you know?” you laughed out as kuroo just looked at you. all he could see was the little girl he fought with back in kindergarten. “yeah it’s crazy how little you grew in height too-” you elbowed him in the ribs before he could end that sentence. 

     after a brief silence between the two kuroo asked a question so out of the blue, “yo y/n can i ask you something?” you turned to kuroo, “yeah? what is it?” kuroo took a deep breath in, “How close are we?” he asked whole heartedly, his amber eyes looking through you. “i mean as close as two childhood rivals could be.. why’d you ask?” you tilted your head as you responded. “well if we are that close then..” kuroo rummaged in his coat pocket to try and find something, “do you mind if i give you an overdue gift from the first grade?” you nodded. he pulled out the mistletoe that his team tried using earlier and held it above the two of you. he leant down and looked you in the eyes, “do you accept my gift dearest rival?” he smiled to cover up the fact his heart was beating out of his chest. you smirked as you pulled his face towards yours to connect your lips together. 

   his lips were so soft, the two of you smiled through it and before you could savour it, he pulled away. “merry christmas y/n.” kuroo said as he hugged you. “does this count as you confessing to me?” you asked as you held him close, “i think it was my victory since you pulled me in hmm?” you scoffed in response, “dream on idiot, you were practically begging for it.” who knew a mistletoe could have such an effect. 

[multifandomwriter56]

His Children’s Happiness

Request: Tommy finding out his daughter has been on a first date and his reaction to it?

Characters: Tommy Shelby, Charlie Shelby, Lizzie Shelby (Stark), Teen!Reader, OC

Summary: Tommy founds out his eldest is dating.

Warnings: language

Word Count: 2,339

"I had a great time, Adam."

"As did I, Y/n." Adam leans down, his hand resting on her cheek. 

"We can't. Not here." Y/n pleads, forcing herself to take a step back from his arms.

Adam sighs, looking around the inside of the stables. "Y/n, we're going to have to tell him at some point."

She wraps her arms around her torso. "I know. He just- last time I dated, he-" She shakes her head, not able to finish her words.

"He didn't ki-"

"Oh god, no!" Y/n exclaims, cutting him off. " He was a jerk. Always threatening him; making him nervous for no reason. He got my uncles involved." She rubs her forehead. "I just don't want you to find out how crazy my family is."

Adam gently grabs her wrist, bringing her hand up to his lips. "I already know your family's crazy." He teases, resting her hand on his chest. "I know your dad is overprotective and most likely won't like me. But I don't care; as long as you like me, I'll be happy."

Y/n smiles as her body lets go of all her built up tension. She stands on her tiptoes, their lips finding one other.

"Ew, gross!"

Y/n pushes Adam back as she stares wide eyed at her little brother. "Charlie! What are you doing here?"

"Daddy's looking for you. I told him I saw you go into the stables. He said I could come get you." Charlie tells her with a proud smile. He points at Adam. "Who's that?"

Y/n crouches down to Charlie's height, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Charlie, you cannot tell Dad about Adam."

"Why?"

"It's- It's a game we're playing. Adam, Dad, and I. We're pretending we don't know who Adam is. Do you want to play?"

Charlie nods his head, excited to be included with one of his sister's games.

"Okay. So you can never say Adam's name or mention I'm with a boy. When you see Adam, you just pretend he's not really there."

"Like Mommy?"

A pang of guilt stabs at Y/n. "Yes."

"I'm gonna win."

She smiles at his excitement. "I bet you will. Now, you go ahead and go back to the house. I'll be there in a minute."

It's been a month since Charlie caught Y/n with a boy and he's done good with not saying anything. 

But that all came crashing down one afternoon when he was playing with his father; a rare occasion in the Arrow House.

"Charlie, have you seen Y/n lately?" 

Not looking up from the toy horse in his hand, Charlie answers Tommy. "She's in the stables. She's always in there."

Tommy turns in the direction of the stables even though he can't see the building. "What is she doing out there?" He scoffs. "Meeting a boy?" 

"Ha!" Charlie jumps to his feet. "You lose!"

Tommy raises an eyebrow, amused by his son's antics. "And what did I lose at?"

"You talked about Adam."

"Adam? Who's Adam?"

Charlie giggles. "It's too late, Daddy. You lost." He starts for the door. "I'm going to tell Y/n and Adam. I hope they're not kissing. That's gross."

"Charlie, wait!" Tommy wraps an arm around his son's stomach, pulling the kid back to him. "Y/n's been meeting this boy, Adam, in the stables?" Charlie nods. "Stay here, Charlie."

"But Daddy, I want to tell them I won!"

"Charles, stay here."

"Where are you going?" Lizzie asks as she and Ruby enter the room. 

"I'm going to kill the boy who's been kissing my daughter." Tommy growls as he opens the front door, slamming it shut behind him.

"Fuck." Lizzie whispers, ignoring the two kids telling her she said a bad word. She calls for Frances, telling her to watch over them before following her husband.

Y/n giggles as hay rains down over her. "No fair, you're taller than me."

What started out as a chore became a game.

Adam grins, setting down the pitchfork in his hands. "You started this, so no complaining. I was just trying to help."

Y/n sticks her tongue out; having no retort.

"What the fuck is going on?"

Y/n freezes, her eyes widening in shock. This is not happening. "D-Dad? I can explain. No, wait!" She jumps in front of Adam when Tommy pulls a gun.

"Y/n, move."

"Dad please-"

"Tommy, stop!" Lizzie cries, standing next to her deranged husband.

“Did you know, Lizzie?”

Y/n glances back and forth between the two; fear spiking. Lizze was the first one to know. Y/n had asked her for advice about what to wear for her first date. She, of course, did not say she was going on a date but her stepmom easily figured it. Lizzie had promised not to tell anyone and Y/n knew she wouldn’t. 

Now, though, she’s wishing she’d never asked for her advice. 

“Yes, I did, Tommy. The poor girl is seventeen; she needs to meet other people her own age outside of this family. Adam is a respectful young man. If you’ll just put the fucking gun down and let them talk; you might see that.”

Tommy flexes his hand gripping the gun, his glare still trained on his wife. 

“Daddy, please.” Y/n begs; her words barely above a whisper. 

Tommy snaps his attention to his eldest, surprised by what she just called him. She hasn’t called him that since she was little. The look of despair and, Tommy swallows, the fear in his daughter’s eyes is what prompts him to holster the gun. He points a finger at the two teenagers. “My office, now.”

Y/n watches her father head to the house. She sends Lizzie a grateful smile before focusing on the young man behind her. “If you want to leave and never see me again; I understand.” She exhales a humorless laugh. “I told you my family is fucking crazy.”

Adam leans his forehead against hers as he places a gentle hand on her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.” He steps back, leading the way to the house. “This wasn’t the first time I had a gun pointed at me.”

Y/n couldn’t believe he was willing to stay. Grown men would’ve run as soon as they saw an opening. But not Adam; the man she’s starting to fall in love with. 

She frowns when his last statement registers. “Wait, not the first time? Adam when the hell has someone pointed a gun at you?” She questions as she speeds up to walk next to him.

“If I survive this, I’ll tell you all about it.”

Y/n rolls her eyes. “He’s not going to kill you; not now. He would’ve done it in the stables if he was going to.”

“I’m not underestimating your father. I’m not stupid.”

Y/n resists the urge to pull him down into a kiss. She can feel her father staring at them through his office window. 

Lizzie is waiting for them at the entrance with her two younger siblings. 

Charlie smiles up at them. “Daddy lost, I won.”

'So that’s how Dad found out.' Y/n thought. “How so?”

“Daddy mentioned you and Adam being in the stables. I made sure Daddy knew he lost.” 

Y/n doesn’t really understand, but she couldn’t be mad at her little brother. She’s the one who told him it was a game. She ruffles his hair, returning the smile. “Good job, little brother.”

Adam holds his hand out, his palm flat. “High five, kid.”

Charlie’s smile widens as his palms slaps Adam’s. 

“Alright. Come on. If he has to wait any longer, your father is going to blow.” Lizzie gently pushes the two love birds towards the doors of Tommy’s office. She closes the door behind her and snaps when she sees Tommy open his mouth. “I’m staying, Tommy.”

Tommy’s not happy she’s arguing with him, but she’s not his concern right now. He points his unlit cigarette at the two troublemakers. “Sit.” As they do as they're told, he lights the cigarette, taking a couple of drags before speaking. “How long?”

“About two months.” 

Tommy barely stops himself from frowning at his daughter’s confidence. “You should’ve asked for my permission, Y/n. You are my daughter, my responsibility.”

“If you say ‘you live under my roof’ I’m going to fucking lose it.” Y/n practically growls.

“Y/n!” Both Lizzie and Adam scold.

Adam’s frown falls when he receives a glare not only from his girlfriend, but from her father as well. He clears his throat as he stands to his feet. He takes two steps forward, the fabric of his trousers grazing the desk. “Look, Mr Shelby, I really like your daughter. Yes, we should have come to you; and I do apologize for our immaturity. I’ll accept whatever consequences you’ve set; but I won’t stop seeing her. If I have to wait six more months until she is of age, I will. I’d rather have your blessing, but-” He steps backwards so he can make eye contact with Y/n. “I’m not losing her just because her father is in denial that his daughter is her own person.” He turns his focus back on the expressionless man and waits for his verdict. 

Tommy stays quiet for what feels like hours to the others, but is, in fact, only a couple of minutes. 

“Alright. Come to the Garrison tomorrow at seven. You do this job for me and we’ll call it even. Y/n’s grounded until further notice, but you can see her once she learns not to lie to me.”

Y/n’s jaw drops. “Dad!” She whines; completely embarrassed. When her father looks at her, her eyes narrow. Is that? Is he fucking smirking? 

“Like he said, you’re not an adult for another six months; and you do live under my roof.”

She groans but doesn’t argue. She looks back at Lizzie but she’s no help. Her stepmom is staring at her father just like she was; shocked and wondering who the fuck took over her father’s body. 

Lizzie clears her throat, her voice back. “Tommy he can’t work-”

“The job has nothing to do with the business.” Tommy promises his wife. He holds out his hand for the young man. “You have my blessing if you agree to my terms.”

Adam shakes his hand. “Thank you, sir.”

Tommy nods once before gesturing to the door. “Now fuck off.”

The teenagers share a warm smile before the eldest of the two leaves. 

Y/n slowly makes eye contact with her father. She hasn’t seen his playful side since Grace’s death. She never thought she would see it again; and if it ever did happen, she did not expect it to find its way to the surface when he found out she’s dating someone.

“Dad, did someone put a curse on you?”

Tommy pours himself a drink, tossing the shot back before answering his daughter. “I’m not cursed, Y/n. I knew this day would come at some point." He pauses. "After the last boy, I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice. Yes, I did just admit I made a mistake.” He says before his daughter can respond with a smartass remark. 

He steps around his desk, coming to stand in front of her. He places two fingers under her chin, tilting it upwards. “No more lying, eh?” A small smile appears when she nods. “Good.”

Y/n springs to her feet, wrapping her arms around his torso. “Thank you, Dad.”

Tommy returns the hug. He won’t admit it aloud, but he misses her hugs. 

He looks over at Lizzie who’s smiling at the pair. He watches her leave, giving them privacy before releasing Y/n from his embrace. “You’re still in trouble though.” He informs her with his usual deep growl.

Y/n smiles. “I know.”

He grabs his cigarette case. “You can start by reorganizing all the books on the shelf.”

“You mean the books you never read?” Y/n sasses.

Tommy hides a grin behind his hands as he lights the cigarette. “Watch it.” He warns but there’s no heat in his tone. 

Y/n turns to the first shelf of many. “What happened to Thomas Shelby, the hardass?”

Tommy grabs his glasses with one hand and the stack of paper with the other. “He disappears when it comes to his children’s happiness.”

Y/n’s hand stills in midair. Maybe there’s hope for her father after all.

The next morning, Y/n waits in her father’s car, her eyes trained on the doors of the Garrison. She talked her father into letting her come with him; but didn’t manage to talk him into letting her come inside. He told her to wait in the car. 

But when she sees Adam come out alone, she gets out; consequences be damned. 

Her concern rises when she sees the slight fear in his eyes and how he’s breathing harder than normal. “Adam? Adam.” She grabs his face. “What did he do?”

He leans forward to place a quick kiss to her lips. “I’m fine, Y/n.”

“Why are you breathing so hard?” She questions, not convinced her father might have gone back on his word. 

Adam snorts. “I guess your father told the barmaid not to clean after they closed last night because the place was trashed. He had me clean the whole pub before he-”

“Before he what?” That didn’t sound too bad. Her father had her do that when he found her drunk in the Garrison one night. 

Adam huffs a laugh. “Before he introduced me to your Uncle Arthur and Aunt Polly.” 

Y/n sighs, relief washing over her. She’d rather they'd met under better circumstances. But if that was the worst of it, she can live with that.

“Y/n, I think your aunt scares me the most.” 

She can’t hold in her laughter at his confession. 

Forevers: @beautycinders @desiredposion​

[mxvladdy]

Mistletoe Prt.3

Here’s the last one! Hope you like!

Asmodeus

-Adorable. He loves it. Does it have to be a kiss on the lips though? How unimaginative. -But white and green go great on him soooo -Doesn’t even try to subtle -Can and will go in for more than once for smooches

Darling~ Come over~ I have a surprise ;*

Your D.D.D lights up. Flashing and buzzing as you are bombarded with texts. The other occupants of the school study hall all shooting you scathing looks. You smile back apologetically digging through your tote for the pinging nuisance. Wrapping your hand around the device to muffle it’s noise you hurry out into the hallway to see what the emergency was.

The sigh of relief you exhale was only slightly tinged with annoyance as you read the messages.

Asmo- I told you I’m in remedial lessons today! I can’t. Can it wait till after dinner?

You hide the screen as you hear the door open. “Sorry- house emergency.” You lie, smiling up sheepishly at your professor. “I’ll be back in a moment.” Your professor grunts in acknowledgement, knowing all too well the foolishness that happens in that house. They scuttle back into the classroom with a terse warning to hurry it up. You nod and peak back at your phone.

My sinfully good looks wait for no one Plus I knoooow you’ll love this one! Oh! No-Wait! On second thought- take all the time you need. The anticipation will just make it all the more rewarding ;)

Rolling your eyes you pocket the device with a smile. Whether he is teasing or not at least you’ll have something to gossip about with Solomon next weekend. The rest of the time goes at a snail's pace. Much to your annoyance, Asmodeus’s little plan working like a charm. You were beyond curious to see what he had. You had to admit he gave the best presents and fashion tips. Wasn’t Majolish having a winter sale? Idly you let your mind wander to what was in store for tonight till your remedial lesson was over. Not waiting for the dismissal bell you pack quickly and make your way back home.

The halls are quiet when you enter. Most of the brothers still out doing their after school activities or jobs. You head to Asmo’s room without interruption and knock.

No answer.

“Asmo.” You try again knocking louder. “You in there?” Still nothing. Pressing your ear to the door you strain your senses to hear if he was in. The door swings open and you lurch forward toppling over yourself.

“Falling for me already? You haven’t even seen what I have on!” Asmo giggles from his place beside the door. He makes no offer to help you up instead waits for reaction. Righting yourself on the floor you gaze up at him ready to chew him out. Your words die on your lips, a chuckle slipping out instead. “Hey!” Asmo’s tone dropped from teasing to hurt. “Don’t laugh! I look adorable.”  

“I’m not laughing at that. It’s- It’s just you do know you don’t get more kisses with the amount of mistletoe you have right?” You laugh harder as his face turns bright pink.

Collecting yourself, you look around the room. Bless, he put a lot of effort into this. His bedroom could have been a set for a home and living magazine. His fireplace was lit. Flames crackling merrily and throwing it’s toasty warmth around the room. On top of it the mantle is decorated with winter shrubbery and bowls of cinnamon scented pinecones, all tastefully topped with white little berries. A tray by his couch held a bottle of something red, no doubt a sweet dry wine and some snacks pilfered from the kitchens. He even had some blankets and pillows strewn about. Whether for use or decoration was anyone's guess. But, you had a nagging suspicion you would find out.

He looks down at his mistletoe themed ensemble then the room at large. “Guess I did go a little overboard.” He helps you up with a chuckle of his own. “But can you blame me?”

You hold him close snuggling into the soft sweater he wore (also knitted with little berries in the design). “Most definitely.” You agree. “Great attempt though. Earned you at least one kiss.”

“Oh?” He pouts. “Can’t break that silly ol’ human rule for me~” His brows waggle suggestively.

“Hmmm- promise not to tell anyone?” You link your fingers around his neck to pull him down for a gentle press of lips. He tasted like mint and sugar. “It’s quite unorthodox.”

“With enough incentive darling, anything for you.” He returns your chaste kiss with a heated one of his own.

Beelzebub

-Hmmm berries tasty -Honestly he doesn’t really care about it - He just never really gave it any mind. He wouldn’t force a kiss on you and this feels kinda like it -But if you're ok with this and free kisses? Well he can get behind that

How unusual. Well, it’s not unusual to see Beel in the kitchen. Not at all. What was odd was what he was doing. He was cooking, not just eating the ingredients. baking to be precise. You had come in for a midday cup of coffee and snack.  But now you were curious to see what he was up to. To find him so thoroughly preoccupied was rare.

“Beel?” You approach him peeking over his massive back to see what he was flouring on the butcher block. He acknowledges you with a low grunt. His eyes locked with the screen of his phone. Back hunched and elbow deep in flour and egg he was kneading his dough. He was so engrossed. “You wanna go get something to eat?” You eye the mess in front of him. You can hear his stomach groan and growl. Yet he didn’t touch anything in front of him.

Suddenly his head snaps to you, eyes wide as he realizes who is in the room with him. “Ah-you were supposed to be in your room.” He rises to his full height trying to hide the mess on the table. He was covered in powdered sugar and flour, a smudge of jelly smeared across the arch of his nose to his right blushing cheek.

“Sorry. Want me to pretend I didn’t?” You wipe the jelly off of his face and smile.

“No-the surprise is lost.” He shakes his head, but brightens immediately. “It’s ok though, would you like to help?”

You agree readily, completing glossing over his previous comment. You were too excited to just spend some time cooking with him to notice.  He was making shortbread cookies. Cut dough of all shapes and sizes were piled all over the counter. Some iced, some cooling, and some waiting to be shaped. You take up the mantle of the official cookie cutter picking through the multitude of different holiday cookie cutters he had bought to find the perfect one. “So what brought this on?” You ask from your perch a little while later. You were taking a break to watch him pull out a sheet from the oven with his bare hands.

He brings the tray over to the counter sliding the cookies off the sheet to the cooling rack. “I thought you would like it. Something to remind you of home.” Oh. He fiddles with his fingers picking at the nail beds before continuing. “And also I ah-” He turns to the fridge returning with a small plate with two iced cookies. “I made some with the mistletoe baked in, but then I read it was poisonous to humans. So I ate those.”

You looked down at the mistletoe shaped cookies. The white and green icing bleed a little at the edges but the lines were steady and done with care. You beam up at Beel taking the offered plate. He waits  watching you take a large bite. You let out a delighted moan. The buttery cookie melts down on your tongue. The mix of salty and sweet was perfect.

“Good?” He asks, holding his breath. Nodding vigorously you offer him the other one. “No- I made those for you.” He takes one of the none iced ones and plops down next to you watching you enjoy your treat.

“This was wonderful! Thank you Beel.” The Devildom was great but you did miss some of the smaller things the human world had to offer. “You know the old tradition with mistletoe?” He cocks his head and shrugs, mouth full of cookies. He knew it was something couples did but beyond that he couldn’t recall.

You wave him down to your level. He goes leaning down to meet your determined gaze. Quick as a wink you strike kissing him twice. Once on his lips then the second time to chase away the crumbs stuck to the corner of his lips. He leans back swallowing with an audible gulp. “The first one was for the mistletoe and the second was for the cookies.”

“Oh-” He croaks dumbly. “I have more shaped like that on the cooling rack.”

“I’ll help you ice them if you pay me in some kisses of my own.” You’ve never seen him move so fast.

Belphegor

-Meh. He use to love it when he would still visit the human realm as an angel

-Now though, the peasantry of it is dulled. Reminds him of sweeter yet more sour times with his sister

-But with you around now he might just give it another shot

The bed sheets shift uncharacteristically behind you. Belphie’s warm body disappearing from your back. Odd. You squint to the grandfather clock across his room. It was way too early for Belphie to be moving. You stay curled under the blankets listing him to tiptoe around the attic. He mutters something under his breath bumping into something large and heavy on the floor. He goes quiet and you feel his eyes lock onto your back. You let out a snore.

“You are a terrible actor.”

“And you are terrible at sneaking.” You flip over to shoot him a glare. “Why are you out of bed? ‘M cold.” You yawn throwing the blankets back and beckoning him back. He doesn’t budge. “Belphie~” You whine patting his cooling spot.

“No. Go back to sleep.” He leaves not sparring you a second glance. Hmph- rude. Bundling up with his abandoned pillows you do just that. Too sleepy to be miffed at his curt behavior.

Next time you wake it’s to someone gently stroking your cheek. Humming you nuzzle into it ready to drift off again. Only then to have the same soft fingers pinch your nose shut. You gasp toppling over the side of the bed. Belphegor laughter clearing the sleep from your mind. “You ass.” You squeak up at him from your prone position on the carpeted floor.

He shrugs sliding down to the floor. “You wouldn’t wake up so-”

Gee, you wonder why. It was still super early in the morning, the second moon of the Devildom still high in the sky. You glance at the clock again. He had only been gone for an hour. “Are you going to tell me what this is all about?” You rub the sleep from your eyes.

He shakes his head and helps you to your feet. “Better yet, I’ll show you. Bring a pillow and put your slippers on. It’s cold.” He leads you out into the hall, his presences calm and contemplative. Surprisingly alert too.  

Belphie takes you down to the house's planetarium unlocking the door with a flick of his hand. “Had to make sure the others didn’t ruin it.” He answers your confused look. “I would have to get violent if Mammon stole my stuff-again.” Pushing open the door he lets you in first. You gasp.

The room was a winter wonderland to put it mildly. Large ornaments dangled from the many wood beams of the ceiling. All for them giving off a soft glow of light like a lantern. Enchanted snow fell from the rafters. The flakes kissing your skin before melting on contact with your bed warmed skin. Snow and frost glistened around coating the plants and sitting area in a white blanket. Ice coats the window panes and clings to the arched ceiling. “Like it?” You nod wordlessly turning in slow circles to take it all in.

“Why aren’t I freezing?” You cup your hands, curious as to why the snow didn’t freeze your fingertips. He smiles softly at your wonder.

“It’s magic. Can’t have your weak human body freezing to death.”

“Hey!” He laughs at your feigned anger. Taking your hand again he helps you down to a nest of pillows and blankets all bundled around his stargazing machine. “What’s the occasion?” You ask, getting comfy down on the floor. He winks not answering you. Instead he goes to work on his machine. Once he is satisfied he comes to sit down next to you. Wordlessly you crawl into his lap, as you did every time he wished to stargaze with you.

He is quiet for sometime after that, only breaking it to point out an interesting constellation from time to time. You go into a peaceful daze, lulled by his warmth and his thumb stroking slow and soothing circle between your shoulder blades.

“I used to do this with Lilith. It was an old tradition of ours. During the winter months on earth we would sneak down to observe the stars. Sometimes even the northern lights depending on where we went.” He pauses for a moment lost in the past. You wait resting a hand on his knee. “We saw a lot of weird traditions down there. Some I loved. After-after the fall I lost a lot of those feelings. But then you had to show up…” He glances down at you with a wiry smirk. You return it followed by a middle finger. He flashes you a fang, pulling you closer to his chest. “There was one tradition I found the oddest, but I always enjoyed it. Would you like to try it with me?”

You nod intrigued to what human custom such an ancient being like him enjoyed. He jerks his chin to one of the lower beams of the ceiling. Tied to it was a mass of white and green berries. “Wow.” It was all you were able to muster, your throat feeling tight from the sentiment and implications.

“Tch-Do you not like it?” His voice turns terse unsure if he should be insulted or saddened.

“No, never. Just wasn’t expecting you to be so smooth.” You chuckle leaning up to press a kiss to the underside of his jaw.

“Hey!” He snaps pulling your head away. “That didn’t count.”

“No?.” You huff. “Perhaps you should show me how it’s done then.”

[smilingleoo]

He tells Y/N he kissed a girl when he was drunk- PJM Drabble Pt.2

Request: can u do a part 2 of He tells Y/N he kissed a girl when he was drunk plsss🥺 i love your writing so much

Warnings: slight angst

Author’s Note: thank you! I love writing for you guys 🥺 hope you like it, I did it with a happy ending this time. Too much angst for me lol. Enjoy!!

Pt.1 Pt.2

————

————

He was devastated to say the least.

A month had gone by since your breakup and it was killing him. The boys had demanded an explanation for his sloppy dance moves, cold expressions and aloof attitude. They were concern and extremely worried. They hadn’t seen you around lately and, mostly Yoongi, had suspected that something was not right between the both of you-“I cheated. Remember the night we went out to have some drinks because of the award? I might have drunk too much and...I made out with another girl. I returned home and blurted it out.”

Namjoon was the first one to react, of course, telling him he had been irresponsible and irrational. Jimin knew it, had known it since he left the apartment you both shared, and blamed himself for it daily. The next one to scold him was Min Yoongi, surprisingly. He was a little bit more subtle but straightforward anyways-“Y/N did everything for you, Jimin-ah. Why?”

Jimin had asked himself that question too. He hadn’t found a proper answer yet, and he feared he never would. Did he really wanted to kiss another person so desperately? Either way, he had lost and he doubted you’d give him a second chance-“I don’t know...I wish I had an answer to that.”

“I’ve talked to her”-Taehyung added-“She’s doing well. She told me she had a hard time getting over you and that maybe she’s rethinking everything. Maybe you should talk to her, Jimin-ah.”

A slight punge of hope punctured his chest as he fished for his phone, browsing through his contacts until he stopped on your name. The letter shone brightly on his screen while he analyzed his movements, every breath he took calculated and cold. Should he call you? He opted for the safer choice and decided that sending you a message would be more appropiate.

Your screen flashed automatically when Jimin’s text arrived. His name was still saved with a cute heart and a pig since both loved eating so much. Even though you had made it your priority to forget him, Jimin was always stuck in your constant daydream. You though about him and his stupidly charming smile or his adorable way of taking care of you. He had loved showing you off to the other members, bragging about how awesome you were and how flawless you looked every second of every day.

You still loved him, of course.

But your pride was just so damn big that you had buried those feelings deep within your soul. Until now.

Hello, Y/N. How’s everything going?

Hi, Jimin. Everything’s fine, hbu?

Your finger pads began sweating as you watched how his contact name had ‘typing’ underneath. You tried to distract yourself by scrolling through other social media but, as soon as he finished the text, you clicked on it.

Everything’s fine too. I was wondering if we could talk. I know we ended our relationship a while ago now but I’d like for us to have a proper chance to talk things through. I won’t insist if you don’t want to...I just thought it’d be nice.

You hesitated, thumbs fidgeting over each other while trying to form a coherent response in your head. What should you say? You knew that if you turned him down, he wouldn’t bug you anymore. At first, it sounded nice to finally forget about Park Jimin for once but, after some serious consideration, you weren’t sure if that’s what you’d prefer.

I guess we can grab a coffe someday.

His response came in right away.

Great! How about tomorrow?

Yeah, I’m free. Same place at 17 O’Clock?

Same place at 17 O’Clock.

()

The beige coat hung lossely from your shoulders as you warmed up your freezing hands with some leather gloves you had purchased some month ago. You knew Korea’s winter could be extremely cold, but you had underestimated the temperature just a little bit. It was too late to realize, though, and the chilling wind made nothing to sooth your stoic limbs.

A small smile crossed your lips as the little coffe shop you had visited so much with Jimin suddenly appeared. It was as cozy as it had been before; snuggled in between two giant building that doubled it in height. The twin windows on either side of the main door radiated a yellow-ish light from within inviting you to step in, order a warm cappuccino and relax from the heavy thoughts that had been running through your mind the whole day.

Jimin was there when you gathered up enough courage to jump inside the shop. He had booked your usual spot further into the room, with enough lightning to see each other’s features but also dim to have that intimacy that you’d only felt with him. Something in your stomach sprung when his eyes spotted yours from miles away. He waved his hand slightly while a silly smile accompanied his invitation. You felt clumsy all of a sudden, as if your legs had forgotten how to properly walk, and you stumbled through some empty chair before finally plopping down in front of him.

You noticed he had ordered your usual drink and a fuzzy feeling took over you senses when you realized how well he knew you-“You look beautiful”

You stiffened.

“Oh, sorry. It’s just...I didn’t mean to be disrespectful-”-he mumbled.

“Don’t worry”-you chirped in-“You weren’t. You look great too. How’re the boys doing?”

“They’re as annoying as ever”-he chuckled-“They miss you, though. I miss you...”

“I miss them too”-you-“I miss you too.”

Jimin couldn’t believe what he heard but he played it cool, he needed to know your emotions for sure. The date went on; treats being bought, laughs being shared and memories being built once again. You couldn’t believe how much you had missed being with Jimin and he for sure couldn’t get a grasp on it too.

“I think we should go”-he laughed-“The lady over there has been glaring at us for more than ten minutes straight. I think she might want to kick us out.”

“I noticed her too!”-you exclaimed as you hanged your purse over you shoulder-“I though I was being paranoic.”

Although you knew you needed to part your own ways, you just wanted to stay a little longer with him. You wanted to freeze time just a while longer to appreciate properly the man by your side. His freshly dyed hair glinting under the fading sunlight accompanying that faint pink blush from the day’s cold breeze and his beautiful smile. Everything about him was so delicate yet sharp and you just could describe the image as an absubrd contradiction.

A paradox.

“Do you have more time?”-you blurted out-“Maybe we can go for a walk, there’s a park nearby.”

He checked his phone-not really looking for anything since he would have complied anyways-and nodded afterwards. The walk towards the park was quiet yet it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. The streets were busy, as usual, but Jimin made it feel as if the both of you were the only ones on Earth.

Jimin guided you through and archway made by still trees intertwining their branches like the hands of young lovers. His pale hand was dangling by his side, urging you to take it on your own, but you weren’t sure.

Not until he spoke.

“I can’t live without you, Y/N”-he mumbled-“I tried to but it’s impossible. I’m lost without you and I can’t fathom the image of you being with someone else. It’s selfish, I know. It’s selfish because I want to see you happy. You deserve to be happy. But I want to be the one whose responsible of it. I want to be blessed with that opportunity. Please, I know I’ve let you down but I promise I’ll work to be the best for you. I love you.”

His eyes became watery mid confession but you found it endearing rather than annoying. How his voice cracked or how his lip shivered contributed to his purity and honesty, so the uncertainty of being lied to wasn’t even there.

“I...”-your voice came out as a soft yet firm echo-“I can live without you.”

Jimin’s eyes widened. His heart cracked and his hopes vanished from his insecure soul. Had he caused you so much pain?

“Y/N please don’t-”

“I can live without you, Park Jimin”-you continued-“But I don’t want to. The time we weren’t together gave me space to think things through. I became a whole new person; I could indeed get to know me better. I’ve always been so devoted to other, never being true to myself and my desires. This time I had to just be with me made me realize I can be selfish and it doesn’t need to be entirely wrong. Because right now, I want to kiss you and I want to be with you. I want to be selfish and let my pride fall for once. Because I love you and you make me happy and I deserve to be happy.”

“Then be selfish”-he sighed-“An fucking kiss me.”

His lips were soft-softer than you remembered-like falling petals of a blossoming rose or shining clouds on a sunny winter day. They reminded you of warmth and comfort. His limbs found heir way to your waist, tugging you closer to his chest. Your pressed one palm over his cheek while the other tangled itself in his soft locks.

You never wanted to let go.

He never wanted to let go.

Not again.

Not anymore.

[sparklygoblin]

I've been really into the concept of past lives recently, and I thought it would be really fun to post my take on the Haikyuu pairs, and past lives/historical au's. So here is some steamy, self indulgent T R A S H! This is going to be pretty flawed and there is definetly some movie references in here as well as some historical inaccuracies but I did my best. Also there are no happy endings because I thought that might be pretty unrealistic based on treatment of actual gay men in history.

TW: Suicide, Hate Crimes, Gun Violence

Iwaioi is obviously reminiscent of Alexander the Great and his "best bro"😏 Hephastion. Oikawa was the Grand King, destined for greatness from the moment he was born. Iwaizumi was born among corpses and dirt, exiled to Oikawa's kingdom, a twelfth son, useless. He lived as a lonely peasant, starving, until he joined the king's guard. He liked to tell himself he trained with Oikawa because he admired Oikawa's hard earned skill, and he believed that right up until he died at the end of the prodigy, Kageyama's blade. After intercepting a strike that would've inevitably killed the Great King. He falls, looking into Oikawa's shocked eyes, bright, and full of tears as he cradled Iwa to his chest. Iwaizumi merely sighed, still unable to touch the man he loved, lest he ruin his life by exposing his feelings. He dies to the violent, primal screams of his love, and he becomes distantly aware of a missed opportunity, as Oikawa's reciprocation of Iwaizumi's feelings becomes more obvious with each throat tearing wail. It's clear that he will die without Iwaizumi, but everyone already knew that.

Daisuga has just graduated in the summer of 1967, and they've been stealing moments with each other from the moment Suga transferred to Daichi's school sophomore year. And Daichi hated himself for it, he was quarterback, and he had the prettiest girl in school. So why was he so smitten with this nerd? This delicate pretty boy made his blood run hot and his heart skip. He was in love, and damn it if Suga hadn't made it obvious that he felt the same. Daichi had to put a stop to this before someone found out and it ruined his life. Suga heard it from a freshman, the handsome senior, Daichi was going to marry his girlfriend, Michimiya Yui. It made it so much easier to go to Vietnam when he won the draft lottery system. Daichi came to apologize only to find that Suga was gone. Forever. He wrote. Suga ignored it all. Daichi talked with Suga's mother every weekend hoping to collect any information he could, until the news finally broke, Koushi wasn't coming back from 'Nam. Daichi married Michimiya with an empty heart and dead eyes, the fact that they found Suga's corpse clutching one of Daichi's letters replaying in his mind as Michimiya read her vows. They had three kids, Daichi killed himself on what would've been Suga's fifty first birthday.

Kuroken has been side by side for years, Kenma serving as prohibition criminal Kuroo's right hand man. Kuroo has never shown interest in a woman, the rest of the gang doesn't say a word though their suspicious glances between him and Kenma speak volumes. And they're absolutely right, Kenma is everything short of a mob wife. All pretty hair and violent tendencies, Kenma values no one's life, not even his own, but he can't help but value Kuroo in a such a loving way. They die together, when everything falls apart and the feds are chasing them, bullets shatter the car, ripping everything but their hands apart. Those will stay intertwined forever.

Ushijima was okay with his job, he lived such a sparse simple life, and it was enough for him, the life of a holy man. Until he saw Satori, a young man no older than him, residing in a dark hole of the desolate mental facility he was blessing. The sisters merely dismissed him when he inquired as to why the man was in there in the first place. So he took upon himself to talk to the boy and get to the bottom of this. He didn't mean to fall in love with the beautiful, unhinged and unholy Tendo. He didn't mean to commit the ultimate sin, to forsake his faith, but he couldn't bring himself to regret feeling what he felt for Tendo. The only thing he actually regretted was never protecting Satori the way he wanted to. Never scooping his love in his arms and running away from that foul life. The tears that caught in his throat when he came to Tendo only to find him bald, scarred, and permanently empty, shook him to his core. They dug in his brain and ripped out everything dear to Ushijima, they tore a part that beautiful mind all because they couldn't understand it. Ushijima swallowed his tears, and mustered his courage, he was going to save Tendo now, even if it would cost him his soul. His big hands wrapped around Tendo's throat, and didn't release until Tendo's empty eyes went out. He died years later in a prison cell. Maybe he and Tendo could have each other, in the next life.

The village did not like Nishinoya, nor did his family. He for the life of him, could not be modest and quiet like the rest of the puritans. He did not go to church, nor did he read the gospel, he ran about in the woods, tricky and mysterious. The governor's son, Asahi, can't help but be entranced, he is a scholar after all. And he only follows Noya into the dark wood for "scholarly" purposes, he definetly wasn't thrilled when Noya pinned his large body against one of the dark twisty tree trunks deep within the wood. Asahi comes to two very troubling conclusions that night, the village was wrong, Noya was not a witch at all, and Azumane would never be able to keep himself away from Noya not matter the cost. It was over for them the moment they were discovered, Noya wrapped in Asahi's arms. The villagers convinced themselves that Asahi had been put under a curse by Yuu, despite Asahi's violent objections, and surprisingly brave declaration of love. Noya smiled softly as they touched the torch to his feet, and as the flames ate the innocent man up, Asahi screamed begging the whole village to burn him instead, Yuu was innocent take him instead. Asahi stayed only long enough to press a gentle kiss to Yuu's now burnt face, just to show the villagers their love was true and deep, not the by product of some cheap curse. While they were all in shock, he slipped into the dark wood, and never was heard from again.

Hinata considered it an insane stroke of luck when he secured a third class ticket aboard the ship of dreams, the Titanic. He bid his mother and Natsu farewell, hoping to secure a job in the new world, and make enough funds to secure them a passage to America one day. His shipmate is horrible though, all cold blue eyes and pompous attitude, until one night when Kageyama surprisingly offers Hinata a drink. Not wanting to refuse, they obviously get smashed drunk, and with pretty pink cheeks, Kageyama grabs Hinata's face gently. " i jus' think no guy should be so damn beautiful" kageyama whispers sleepily, and maybe it's the liquor, but Hinata doesn't hesitate to lean in and initiate a kiss. When Kageyama doesn't pull away, Hinata crawls into his lap. They fit like puzzle pieces and now Kageyama can't even imagine wanting to kiss anyone else. They make plans to take the new world on, learning fairly quick that they are stronger together. And then there's water and panic and Kageyama and Hinata are trying to rush a gate because Jesus, there are kids down there. Just because they are poor doesn't mean they deserve to die, but unfortunately someone seems to think otherwise, because the gate remains in place. They finally stop when the water is up to their waists, and a sad looking elderly woman tells them they've done what they could. Tearful children and somber mothers nod in agreement, and it is unsaid that they would go to their respective beds and try to rest so that they might go in their sleep. They lay together on the top bunk and even as the water slips above their heads and they begin to die, their arms hold tight, and Kageyama mouths one last "I love you" Hinata's fingers in his hair the last thing he feels.

Bokuto is in love with an heiress across the lake, he's never met her but is sure she is made for him. Akaashi is in love with a rich man right next to him, but that man sees Akaashi as no more than his lowley servant. Akaashi is in love with Bokuto, maybe that is why he involved himself in that horrible mess. He was always getting involved in horrible messes for Bokuto's sake. It was the height of Gatsby era glamor, and Bokuto, though he never did really like parties, was always throwing them, insisting Akaashi rather than work the parties, served as his right hand man. Akaashi always knew Bokuto was hoping he would meet his heiress at one of his parties, and if it made Bokuto happy, Akaashi hoped she would show up too, no matter how much it would hurt. And eventually she did, along with her husband, and she broke Bokuto's heart after a very miserable and short lived affair, for her it was nothing, but Bokuto always fell so hard and fast, he was distraught. Akaashi acted on instinct, pulling Bokuto into his arms no matter what line he was crossing, and smoothing his hair in attempt to sooth the crying man. Things became clear to Bokuto then. His tears ceased as he breathed in Akaashi's soft scent, wrapping his arm around the beautiful man's waist. They were in love then, finally on the same page for a blissful few months, until Bokuto's affair was made public, and he was found beaten to death in an alley. Despite all of his generosity and glamor in the past years, Akaashi and Kuroo were the only guests at Bokuto's funeral. Akaashi never recovered from the loss, he knew Bokuto wouldn't have wanted him to do it, but that didn't stop the smile on his face as he smashed the heiress beneath his tires.

Tsukishima had been protecting Yamaguchi for as long as he could remember, always getting in fights and taking beatings to protect his beautiful best friend. He knew boys weren't supposed to be pretty, he knew what happened to boys like Yamaguchi in the eighties, but that didn't ever stop him. Not even when Yamaguchi worked up all his courage and told Tsukki he loved him during their freshman year. Tsukki was angry at Yamaguchi for saying that, because he felt the same and he knew that he had to hide it if he wanted to survive. His controlled slipped for a second when Yamaguchi pressed their lips together gently, Tsukki allowed himself to dream one last time before he yanked himself away. He immediately began hurling slurs and abuse at Yamaguchi, things he knew would send the other boy running. And it did. But soon Kei felt an unexplainable urge to go after him, a sinking feeling that something horrible was gonna happen. Yamaguchi did not cry, he held his chin high, no matter how hard the boys hit him or cut him. He didn't care if he died but he wasn't gonna do it staring at his feet like a kicked puppy. Kei found him like that, full of fire and courage as he stared down his abusers. The love he felt made Kei's legs shake, and he knew he'd do whatever he could to save Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi smiled with too much glee for a dead man as Tsukki forced his way to his side, gripping his hand. There were eight of them, with murder in their eyes, Tsukki knew before he even got to Yamaguchi that they weren't making it out of this one.

Lev and Yaku find each other in 1700s France, Lev is a soft pretty boy, living a luxurious life in the aristocracy. Until he is thrown to the wolves after the loss of his parents, he is ten when he spends his first night on the street. He is nearly taken by a brothel right away, until he is saved by a particularly feisty thirteen year old street rat, Yaku is half his height but serves as his protector nonetheless. They pass the years protecting each other, growing to love each other, but never daring to hope for more than that. As many people in France were at the time disease riddled and starving, so were Yaku and Lev. Of course Yaku went first, he made it all the way to eighteen before he succumbed to his disease, clutching a crying Lev, comforting him even on his death bed. After that, Lev made the mistake of having hope, he joined the revolution in honor of Yaku. He just wanted to make the world a better place, a place where Yaku could've survived. He died bleeding from a soldier's bullet on a barricade, but he was warm, all he saw was Yaku, holding him, carrying him into their next life.

Yahaba always talks and Kyoutani might be always listening, but it's hard to tell. Until Kyoutani murders his whole family in 1978. He shows up at the gas station him and Yahaba always have their one sided coversations at to find Yahaba working the counter like he always is. He ignores Yahaba's greeting and begins frantically explaing his situation and motive, all while Yahaba looks on in shock, this is the first time Kyoutani has ever spoken to him. When he asks why Kyoutani is telling him all this, he simply sighs dismissively and says "you're my bestfriend", and that's enough for Yahaba. Clearly he's crazy, a cute boy he's never spoken with is in the back of his car and they're leaving the country. All because Kyoutani actually was listening and not only that, he viewed Yahaba as the most important person in his life. They had been in love from the first one sided conversation they had, and that was becoming clear now. They get caught, sent to different facilities, Kyoutani gets life, Yahaba gets a lighter sentence for being an accomplice. Though they never see each other again, Yahaba always writes letters, and for once, Kyoutani writes back. They spend their lives finally having a two sided conversation, their love never even flickers, and for them, that's enough.

[angelfishofthelord]

sea of blue or aztec gold

(a fic for 12x16 where Claire got bitten by a werewolf except for Cas is there)

+

The three of them stand in the left corner of the motel room like some kind of conclave of the grown-ups. Claire picks at the chipped gray polish on her fingernails and stares at them between the sweaty strands of hair falling into her eyes. The British guy--was his name Miles or something--keeps twisting his feet around like he wants to leave. Sam and Dean’s voices rise and fall and she strains an ear to hear a few snatches.  

“--maybe Cas--heal her--” comes from Sam and Claire shakes her head. No one sees it, of course, because nobody's even asking her. At twenty years old she’s seen more dead bodies than the average middle-aged adult but sometimes--like right now--she still feels like a kid. Like some wayward youngster who ruined the cake at a party and now everyone is trying to figure out how to fix it without causing a scene.

“--in the area--looking for Kelly--call him--” Dean rejoins.

She bites back a sigh. It looks like a decision has been made already, without the options ever reaching her. Closing her eyes she leans her head down into the crook of her arm and tries not to think about that blessed half second before the werewolf’s fangs sank into her skin. The split moment before her life disappeared and was replaced by the kind of nightmare she’s killed without a second thought

“Hey.” Sam puts his hand on her shoulder and she forces herself to look up. “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” she shrugs. “You didn’t call Jody yet,” she adds, more as a hope than a question.

“Not yet. Cas is gonna come by and see if he can heal you. He should be here in under an hour.”

Her nose wrinkles and she hikes up the blanket around her shoulders, sliding deeper into the armchair. Castiel isn’t her parent, but he’s going to fuss over her and make that same face where the brow gets all twisted up in concern. Except for he has an additional look of a million or so years of sadness in his eyes, and she doesn’t really have the energy to pretend not to care about him right now.  

“Let him know I said hi,” she murmurs, shutting her eyes again. Pretending to fall asleep is still the surest way to get grown-ups to back off.

She knows when Castiel arrives even before he speaks. His heavy, deliberate footsteps come echoing from across the room. They pause a few paces away and Castiel exchanges hushed words with Sam and Dean before moving closer and putting a hand on the armrest of the chair.

“Claire,” he says and for half a second she swears he sounds just like her dad. Not that she really remembers what her dad sounds like anymore; those memories have been too saturated with blood and confusion, too deeply buried to ever retain the clarity they once had. But there's so much gentle worry coiled around the sound of her name that she almost wants to launch herself into his arms and have him tell her a story that’ll make the bad dream disappear.

Instead she opens one eye and grunts wordlessly at him.

“May I?” he asks and waits until she nods before pressing two fingers to her forehead.

The buzz of grace streaking through her feels like downing a shot of migraine. When she flinches away he immediately pulls back. “I’m sorry,” he says, first to her and then to Sam and Dean who are standing next to him expectantly. “I can’t…the cells are already mutating. It’s beyond my power to-”

“Okay,” Dean cuts him off, tersely. Terrified. “So what now?”

What happens next is a Russian roulette of options. Dean tries to sell her on his plan of being a vegetarian werewolf who eats rabbit heart salads on the daily. Sam explains the details of a risky cure where the sole test subject died. The British guy sputters objections for both ideas, all the while looking more and more unnerved by the whole situation.

Castiel is the only one who says nothing. He sits there on the edge of the bed across from her, hands on his knees as he listens to everything being discussed. “It’s up to Claire,” he says tepidly when Dean presses him for an opinion. She wonders if he’s afraid to interfere in her life again. He still doesn’t say anything when she finally chooses to try the cure. The look on his face, on the other hand, is absolutely rife with sorrow.

In fact all four of them are staring at her with such piteous expressions that it makes her feel nauseous.

She blocks them out by pulling the blanket up and over her head as they discuss who’s going to go get blood from the werewolf who attacked her and who’s going to stay with her. Dean suggests him and Castiel for the hunting team, but Castiel disagrees.

“She could already be changing, we have no idea how fast this will happen. If something…” his voice drops, making the words even sharper to her ears, “…I should be here. I can heal.”

Claire decides that this is the point where she needs to muster up enough strength to protest. But the second she tries to stand up fireworks of pain go off through her body. She clamps down on her tongue to keep from crying out and works slowly, putting one foot down on the linoleum floor and then the other. The blanket drags behind her as she finally staggers to her full height, only to see there’s no one left in the room except for the British guy--Mick-- and Castiel. They’re standing an awkward distance apart, staring each other down with equal parts suspicion and contempt.

“Well,” Mick begins tentatively. “Someone should make sure the rooms beside us stay vacant so we are undisturbed during the…process. Perhaps we should also have some words with the manager, to keep her from being alarmed by anything she might hear.”

“Yes,” Castiel answers and then moves to position himself in front of Claire. The message is clear: he doesn’t trust Mick to be left alone in the room with her.

“I’ll do it,” Mick says hurriedly before turning and leaving the room.

Claire pokes Castiel in the shoulder after the door closes. “Scary,” she teases him.

Castiel turns around, the coldness in his eyes instantly replaced by soft strokes of concern. He reaches out to give her a hand as she sways in place. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” She latches onto his arm because her joints are on fire right now and it’s less humiliating to need support than collapsing and him having to carry her. “Just peachy.” The bed suddenly seems very far away. She concentrates on the ugly checkered bed sheet ahead of her like it’s the only thing in existence and pushes her body forward one half step at a time.

Finally her fingertips brush against fabric and she heaves her body over the bed with a groan. Every pore of her skin feels like a miniature furnace. She doesn’t have the strength to scream. She wishes she could, wishes she had a set of lungs that could strip the glass from the windows with a long, curling howl.

Cool petals of water brush against her forehead and she realizes that Castiel has put a wet towel on her forehead. It doesn’t do much to actually dim the fire raging through her veins, but the familiarity of the action is comforting.

“I’m sorry,” he says. The mattress creaks from the corner where he’s taken a seat. “I know how hard this is. You are an incredibly brave young woman.”

“Doubt that angel can get turned into werewolves,” she mutters.

“No, but--” he stops, prompting her to peer up at him from the corner of the towel.

“What?”

He’s sitting there with his hands in his lap again. “Well, I have been poisoned or infected by...things before. It may not be the same but... I know how hard it is to stay in control of both body and mind. What you’re doing, even now, is a testament to your great strength of will.”

“Wait.” Claire tries to push herself up on one elbow but only manages to lift her head a few inches. “When were you infected with what?”

“You should get some rest,” is his response as he leans over and fits a pillow under her head, then moves around to tuck the blanket around her chin. His fingers graze the side of her cheek; they feel like a bouquet of icicles. She leans into the touch desperately and his eyes cloud with sympathy.  

“Your cells are in chaos right now. Your body, your immune system is trying to fight off the mutation,” he explains. “Is there anything else I can do for you? Do you want to call--”

“No,” she says, loudly and quickly. If she allows herself to think about calling Jody--and hearing her voice--she’s going to dissolve on the spot. “Just--talk to me. Tell me about what happened when you were infected. What, was it like an angelic version of the zombie virus?”

Castiel sits down on the bed, still half on the edge like he’s unsure of how much space he’s been invited to take up. “No, there were several different--the first time was years ago.” He stalls, eyes growing distance even as they fixate on the floor below him. “I was full of souls from Purgatory. I…needed them to defeat Raphael. But then the power of those souls changed me. I thought I was God,” he finishes in an embarrassed mumble.

There's a lot to absorb from those few lines but above all the idea of this mild, awkward angel pretending to be the Almighty is what stands out to her. “You?” she laughs faintly. “What did Sam and Dean think of that?”

continue reading on ao3

[juvinile]

* LOGAN  LERMAN ,  CIS MALE  +  HE / HIM  |   you  know  SEAN  O’MALLEY ,  right ?  they’re  TWENTY - SIX ,  and  they’ve  lived  in  irving  for ,  like ,  THEIR  WHOLE  LIFE ?  well ,  their  spotify  wrapped  says  they  listened  to  FREAKING  OUT  ON  THE  INTERSTATE  BY  BRISTON  MARONEY  like ,  a  million  times  this  year ,  which  makes  sense  ‘cause  they’ve  got  that  whole  CHIPPED  BLACK  NAILS  ON  CALLOUSED  HANDS ,  STUMBLING  BLIND  THROUGH  DAEDALUS’S  LABYRINTH ,  SKATEBOARDING  ALONE  ON  HOT  PAVEMENT  thing  going  on .  i  just  checked  and  their  birthday  is  AUGUST  4TH ,  so  they’re  a  LEO ,  which  is  unsurprising ,  all  things  considered .   

TW  INCLUDE   divorce tw ,  alcoholism tw ,  bullying tw

hi  hi  hi  it’s  alli  previously  known  for  less  strange  things  than  playing  my  own  muse’s  sibling  but  i  hope  u  can  overlook  my  faults  and  my  hubris  bc  i  love  sean  and  he’s .  something .  ok  he he he 

GENERAL :

full name:   sean thomas o’malley

age / dob:   twenty - six  /  august 4th

gender:  cis male

pronouns:   he / him

occupation:  mechanic

zodiac:  leo

orientation:  bisexual & biromantic

faceclaim:   logan lerman

pinterest:   HERE !

AESTHETIC :

chipped black nails on calloused hands, stumbling blind through daedalus’s labyrinth, skateboarding alone on hot pavement, a broken stopwatch, the burn of whiskey and the ash of discarded cigarettes, clipped wings, no one taught icarus how to fly, earbuds that always manage to tangle themselves in your pocket, liminal space

CHARACTER ANALYSIS :

kyle scheible ( ladybird ) ,  alyssa ( end of the fucking world ) ,  klaus hargreeves ( the umbrella academy ) ,  steven hyde ( that 70s show ) ,  tony stonem ( skins ) ,  jonathan byers ( stranger things ) ,  frankie ( beach rats ) ,  alexander vass ( if we were villains ) ,  angie  ( the oa ) ,  lip gallagher ( shameless ) ,  literally every deadbeat stoner skateboarder side character in any tv show ever he literally modeled his personality after them

BRIEF  BIOGRAPHY :

sean thomas o’malley was the eldest born to patrick o’malley, an on again off again construction worker, and aoife o’malley nee murphy, a checkout clerk at the local supermarket.

he was a wild thing from the beginning  --  always tugging on his mother’s hair and biting at his father’s hands, so much trouble that his parents, in their happier years, affectionately coined him “scrap”.

his sisters came a few years later, first sloane and then fia, the three o’malley alley cats. their childhood was a decent one, poor as dirt and left to rot in lilac ridge, but a close knit bunch all the same.

sean was always grinning, even that time he chipped his tooth, lopsided and warm, and his parents usually weren’t drunk until long after the children had gone to bed.

though sean himself couldn’t see it for a while, his parents had a sort of reputation around town. the o’malleys were too poor, had too many kids to take care of, spent too little time at home, were too friendly with the local bartenders. and though they didn’t know exactly what they were echoing, the kids at school had a way of letting sean know exactly what their parents thought of his. he found that sticking up for himself meant sticking up for his sisters, and he learned he didn’t particularly hate getting into fights.

sean isn’t really sure himself when things started to change, perhaps when his mom stopped work at the supermarket, or when his father broke his ankle and had to take off from the construction site, but the facade of happiness at home never lasted.

they grew apart, all of the o’malley’s, aoife and patrick ending their marriage in a divorce, sean and the girls spending more and more time away from home. to escape, it seemed, from the ghost of a family.

he fell into his group of friends like he always falls into things, seemingly at random, and bless their hearts because he’s never been the easiest person to get along with. he’s combative, and indulgent, and maybe those parents were right when they used to warn people to stay away from the o’malley boy, but he’s got his heart in the right place. if only he knew how to properly express it, maybe he wouldn’t be so on edge all the time, so starkly defensive of what little he has.

he still takes care of his dad, who moved into an apartment in delphinus heights. he makes sure he gets out of bed in the morning, even if it means being late to his own crappy job. he makes sure he’s eating enough. he tries to borrow the one family car as little as he can, knows his dad needs it more. he tries to shield his sisters from having to know the extent of a deadbeat their dad is, wants better for all of them but knows he isn’t going to be the one to give better to them.

sean cares for them all deeply, his family and the few friends he has, but he’s never been great at expressing his emotions, not with them and certainly not with anyone else. he does what he can, working whatever job he manages to secure and sticking around irving  ( currently he’s taken to fixing cars but .. how long can sean really be good for  fixing  anything .. ) , but there’s an undeniable pull he feels in his gut, whispering that it doesn’t have to be this way. that there’s more, somewhere, anywhere else. he’s never had a problem listening to his gut before.

POSSIBLE  CONNECTIONS :

an ex, probably someone who ended up leaving and things were maybe never even that serious to begin with ??  everyone always knew sean would never make it out of irving and they just wanted really different things. maybe they’ve stayed in contact or maybe not, maybe it ended badly or maybe they just both knew it was coming and sean isn’t exactly the type to care enough to try to hold on.

skate crew, i think a few other muses skate or possibly even just go to the skate park to watch others skate ??  little social gathering thing going on. picture parties at 3am in the in ground pools, drunk half pipe usage, sliding down ramps on mattresses, chaos.

his childhood friend, maybe they stuck up for him when he was a kid getting bullied and has just been there for him through everything. his parents’ divorce, everyone leaving, his many failed attempts to hold a job. maybe they grew apart and now its awkward when sean skates by like hi :P

antagonistic, no matter how hard they try not to, they’ve always butted heads. sean’s so confrontational and he can’t keep his head on his shoulders. he’s always been an easy target, but he’s also always been so jealous. isolated himself and pities himself and it’s infuriating. they’re polar opposites, but they can be at each other’s necks one minute and grabbing a pint in the next. it’s complicated.

someone innocent, maybe someone who has come to him because they want to loosen up ??  they want to put themselves out there more. they’ve always been the voice of reason and they want to cut loose, they went away and now they’re back and they don’t know what to do, etc. just think it would be fun for sean to be the father of bad influence lmao

[heroinepose]

two a.m.

Shinsou Hitoshi x Reader Word Count: 2,316 (Yes, I lost control of this.) Warnings: None. We’re in fluff land again, friends. Someday the porn fairy will visit, but today is not that day.

Finals are stressful, even in your second year, and sleep doesn’t come easy with such a tall order ahead of you. It’s a damn good thing the company is so good.

This was written as an entry to @heroheads​’ 500 follower contest! Congratulations on hitting a milestone -- your work is amazing and you deserve it!

The looming final exams are becoming a menace in more ways than one. Almost all of your spare time has been dedicated to studying, training or sleep in the last three weeks. The challenges your teachers will issue in realtime are less worrisome to you as a second-year than the ones that come on paper, now that you think you know what they’ll be like. They’ll focus more on problem-solving and working on the fly; beyond making sure you’re as physically prepared as possible, you know your time is better spent studying for the written exams and making sure you’re rested.

… which makes it all the more infuriating that you can’t sleep.

The last couple of nights in particular have been rough, but at least last night you’d managed to get a few hours of good rest. Tonight it’s been a fruitless endeavor, and the weariness settles down to your very bones as you shut the door of your dormitory behind you as quietly as possible, stepping out into the faintly humid night air with a mug of tea clutched securely in your hand. Sitting on one of the steps leading up to the entryway, you heave an exhausted sigh as you settle down, lifting your mug to your lips and inhaling the sweet, herbaceous scent of chamomile and honey.

Heights Alliance is peaceful at night. It is the one blessing attached to being up so far into the wee hours: the solitude is truly tranquil out here on the front steps, with little but the humming of the streetlights and the rhythmless chirping of crickets to distract you. With the light pollution from campus and the surrounding area, you can’t see the stars as well, but the moon hangs full and only a little hazy above the treeline, dampening the orange glow from the always-on walkway lighting. Sipping carefully at the hot liquid in your mug, you tip your head back and close your eyes, pulling slow even breaths through your nose to try to lull yourself into some kind of meditative state. If you could just relax, force your body to slow down …

You’re not certain how long you’ve been sitting like that when you hear the telltale crunch-and-slide of someone’s footfalls up the walking path to the building, eyes snapping open to see who else could possibly be up at this hour. It takes a moment for you to refocus, tired eyes struggling to make out the figure from this distance in the dark. It isn’t until he passes directly under one of the lights lining the pathway inside the gate that you can clearly make it out as your classmate, Shinsou Hitoshi, very clearly out past curfew. His hands are jammed in his pockets, eyes low but ahead of him, lost in thought. You’ve watched him for so long -- since that first Sports Festival, naturally, but particularly after he joined the Hero Course -- that it’s a posture you recognize almost as much as you recognize your own tells, and while you’re no stranger to his dark circles, you would never have called seeing him here, now.

It makes your heart swell to aching to cross paths with him alone in daylight, but the lack of sleep and the stillness of the night makes it worse. You’d tried, you really had, to simply be content with a collegial relationship with the boy who didn’t join the program to make friends, but somehow that had twisted itself into the kind of friendship he had been avoiding so adamantly. … and then, on your part at least, it had gotten worse. He's clever, straightforward, and although he's certainly reserved, he’s been a remarkable support in the last year. In hindsight, it seems natural that it would have evolved on its own, out of control. You can’t help your feelings, but you do keep them buried, certain that he’s not at all interested in you.

Rather than call out to him, you choose to wait it out, sipping idly at your tea. He doesn’t appear to notice you as he draws closer to the front steps, hidden as you are near one of the columns. You’re not actually trying to scare him, but with his face tucked penseively into the top folds of his capture weapon, he won’t notice you at all if you don’t say something. Swallowing the tea in your mouth, you manage a smile as his foot hits the second step.

“Someone’s breaking curfew,” you singsong from your perch in the shadow of the dorm, watching his shoulders hitch slightly. His hands remain in his pockets as he turns, and you lift one hand from your mug to wave good-naturedly at him when he registers your presence and inclines his head to glower directly at you. 

“Someone should speak for themselves,” Shinsou mocks, although there’s no venom in it. “Should you be out here?”

“Ah, but I’m still on the front steps! I’m not out anywhere,” you reason, pointing at the remaining stairs that lead to the footpath he’s just taken through the courtyard. “Can’t get in trouble for breaking curfew if I never left, can I?”

You hear him chuckle before he changes direction, walking across the steps to sit next to you and finally removing his hands from his pockets. “I think your Hero Law scores have gone to your head. You’re drunk with power.” The backhanded praise and the grin that lingers on his face makes the heat creep into yours, and you take a long sip of hot tea to cover it.

“If only!” It’s a wistful sigh, head tipping back dramatically as you roll your eyes. “Unfortunately, I’m mostly drunk on lack of sleep.”

“Which is why you’re sitting on the steps at two in the morning,” Shinsou guesses, and you confirm the assumption with a slight shrug, turning your mug around in your hands.

“I’ve tried everything else, so I thought fresh air might help.” You nudge him with your shoulder, jostling him only slightly in his seat next to you. “Now, why are you sitting on the steps at two in the morning?”

He leans in conspiratorially, and you find yourself leaning too, before you can stop yourself. “Because some creepy woman lurking in the shadows startled me.” Your face falls.

“Shinsou,” you scold, and he cracks a smile, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Seriously, you were already gone when I got out here and you’re only just getting back. Where did you go?” A thought occurs to you, a mild tightness in your chest, and you risk asking the question in the form of a joke. “Did you get a secret girlfriend when none of us were looking?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he murmurs, averting his gaze and dropping his hand so both of his elbows rest on his knees. There are a few beats of silence between you.

“... secret boyfriend?”

He moves, as if to stand, with a great sigh. “Okay, I’m going inside --”

“I’m joking!” You’re whisper-shouting, to avoid calling attention to either of you, tugging on his sleeve. “I’m sorry, Shinsou, please. I know, it’s none of my business. I’m sorry I asked.”

The movement stops, and he settles on the step next to you, reaching over to take your mug right out of your hand. You’re so startled that you don’t stop him, watching him lift it slightly. “If that’s what you think, maybe you’re drunk on whatever is in here, not power. When would I have even had the time?” He reaches behind the both of you to set it down as your fingers slip from his sleeve, the dull clink of ceramic against concrete surprisingly loud in the quiet of the night.

“It’s just tea,” you grouse, but you make no move to reclaim it. The brush of his arm against you is comfort enough to replace its warmth -- that and the relief that he isn’t off seeing someone, not that you have any right to feel that way. “Anyway, I’m entitled to be a little worried when my friends wander home so late.”

“Your friends come home after midnight that often?” Shinsou’s tone is light; he knows he’s caught you out. He’ll make you say it, though, because that’s always his game.

“No,” you sigh. “You’re the first. Still ...” 

There’s another lull where he says nothing, considering you as you look out into the empty courtyard. Your brows are furrowed, like you’re thinking much too hard about something. Maybe it’s the late -- early? -- hour, but he seems emboldened slightly by your aversion to looking at him.

“Still …?” He presses. “Why would you worry about me?”

Your breath hitches a little when you draw a breath to respond, cutting your eyes over to him briefly as you choose your words. His dark circles are more pronounced here in the shadows, and maybe it’s the way the fiber of his capture weapon looks like spun silver at night, but it brings up a flood of concern you haven’t voiced since he was accepted to the hero program at the start of the year.

“You worked so hard to get here,” you say, words slow and deliberate. You’re concentrating so hard on being careful that you fail to notice how he stops breathing. “I think you might have worked harder than anyone else I know. Saying it out loud sounds stupid, I guess, but I worry about how you handle it all.” One breath and you’re rambling, mind racing with the effort to dance around what you want to say: that you care for him, that you’re always cheering him on, but how much he worries you. “You deserve to be here, Shinsou. You deserve to become a hero, and you’re -- you’re my friend, and sometimes I worry that if you’re not taking care of yourself --”

It happens so quickly you’re not quite sure how he’s done it, but you’re silenced by the assertive tug of fingers beneath your chin, pulling you to face him. Then all you can feel is his lips on yours, the scent of cedar and something faintly minty overwhelming you, and even the crickets seem to stop. All you can process is the fact that oh, he’s kissing you. Shinsou Hitoshi just kissed you.

You feel as if you might implode. It’s soft, and warm, but unpracticed -- somehow, though, it’s everything you’d imagined it would be, the gentle pressure of his mouth on yours. You didn’t think he’d be the type to really go for it on the first try like others you’ve kissed who were all teeth and tongue right out of the gate, and a private part of you is gratified to be right, a shiver working its way down your spine as he adjusts his fingers against your jaw. 

He pulls away carefully, but the warmth in your chest spurs you on, looping your fingers in the capture weapon draped around his neck to pull him in again, lean in further. You feel him sigh against you, a soft exhale through his nose, and can’t help the twitch of your lips into a smile against his. You hold him there a few long seconds more before you pull away, realizing how warm your face is now that he’s not so close. 

“Finally,” Shinsou breathes, his voice close to a whisper. “Took you long enough.” Your jaw drops immediately, hand still curled in the fabric draped along his shoulders.

“Me?” You say, loud enough to actually get him to shush you quietly, reaching up to grab your hand where it rests against his capture weapon in an attempt to distract you, calm you down. It works, if only because the feel of his fingers wrapped around yours sends something akin to electricity rocketing up your arm. You take a breath, release it in a huff, before lowering your voice. “What about you, Mr. I’m Not Here to Make Friends, and Therefore Not Date People?”

The man in question quirks a brow, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “I don’t believe I ever said that last part.”

“Does one not kind of preclude the other?”

“I suppose that depends on your point of view,” he laughs, “but we can argue semantics in a few hours if you’re really that hung up on it.”

“Shinsou!” It’s more of a hiss than anything, trying to regulate your volume as he lets go of your hand, reaching behind you for your long-forgotten mug and standing up at last. You’re pouting up at him when he offers you the other, his grin only a little smug as you take it and allow him to pull you up. He uses the momentum to pull you into just one more kiss, little more than a brief peck against your lips, a way to silence your argument for now. You let him, breathing deeply as he pulls away.

“It’s late. Just sleep on it,” he offers, “and if you still feel that strongly about it in the morning, let me walk you to class so you can yell at me some more.”

That sly bastard. You smile in spite of yourself, watching him as he pulls you up the stairs, closer to the door. Once inside, he keeps hold of your hand as you deposit your mug in the sink -- you can deal with the whining about leaving things there in the morning -- parting ways with you only when you need to split up and head to your respective sides of the building, barely-there whispers of goodnight and seriously, go to bed the last of your affectionate gestures for the moment. The full weight of what’s occurred on the front steps hits you as the elevator doors close, leaning against the interior wall and looking at yourself in the reflection of the metal.The smile stuck on your face widens a little, giddy with the knowledge that he likes you back.

Suddenly, a peaceful few hours’ sleep doesn’t seem so difficult.

[shrinkynatural]

Finally, a bathing scene between the totally not tiny bard and his massive oak tree of a witcher.

And because I’m not great at giving individual thank yous, I’d like to give a big, all-encompassing thank you to everyone who’s read these and liked them and reblogged them.

The rest of this unnamed self-indulgent mess can be found here: (1) (2) (3) (4)

--

It has been nearly a whole damn month of nothing but shallow streams barely good enough for washing up in, and the river is the greatest blessing Jaskier could ask for in these circumstances. Clear water, a slight current but nothing that will carry him away, and Geralt-approved to not contain any drowners or other dangerous creatures that might want to eat an unsuspecting bard.

One finger hooks into the collar of his doublet, stopping Jaskier’s run to the river as effectively as a whole hand. Everyone knows he’s always a slut for dramatics so he lets it act as a yank and falls right back into Geralt’s bulk with a very startled yelp. “But Geralt, you said--!”

"Camp first, then we bathe." And because he thinks that he's in charge Geralt doesn't even wait for confirmation, he just slides his finger from Jaskier’s neck to his back (the bard doesn’t shiver, he doesn’t) and nudges him to stand on his own two feet. Then he moves away and takes Roach's reins to lead the mare back into the trees to find a decent area to set up camp.

Jaskier does follow after, but he makes sure that he states clearly just how cruel it is to offer him such a treat only to rip it away. "I feel I have an inch layer of road dust and sweat baked over me like a crust, Geralt!" He doesn't get any response which makes him think Geralt's rolling his eyes at him.

It is the fastest he’s ever helped set up the campsite, gathering wood and separating their bags after Geralt unloads Roach. Some of those bags are heavier than they look so after Jaskier nearly fell under one containing an assortment of witcher potions it was a task permanently assigned to said witcher who spent hours mixing them.

As soon as he drops off the last of the firewood Geralt waves a dismissive hand toward the river and Jaskier doesn't have to be told--gestured to?--twice. Lute and bag down, cloth and soap in hand, and he's practically running to the water's edge. He strips out of his clothes and sets them aside to wash them up later and then he wades in, shivering just a little. Jaskier dunks himself completely and then retreats a bit so that he can lather up his soap and finally be clean. Just the first swipe feels absolutely glorious and he starts humming a tune that turns into a jaunty song he washes himself in time to.

"You shouldn't sing in the river," Geralt says suddenly from behind him and Jaskier lets out a sincere yelp as he turns around. The Witcher is at the edge of the water and taking off his own clothes while regarding him with a raised eyebrow. "A siren will hear you and come take you away."

That shuts Jaskier up and he looks wide-eyed at the water around him. “But you said--!” When he turns back to Geralt he catches the smile before it's schooled away and his jaw drops. "You!" He waves his wash cloth at him with pure indignation. "Is that a joke? Are you trying to scare me off so you can have this whole river to yourself? Joke's on you, I'll gladly be carried off by a siren if it means I get to have regular baths. We'll sing lovely duets together." He sing-songs the last part, amused at the play at humor now that he isn't worried about river monsters coming after him.

Geralt snorts and sets his clothes besides Jaskier's before walking into the water. He goes downstream a few yards, which Jaskier appreciates because he just knows that some of that monster blood and guts don't come off completely from a quick scrub in a little stream. He's in up to his chest almost and Jaskier attempts to be a polite bathmate and not stare, but he can't help taking little peeks at what he can see. He's a young, healthy man with an active appreciation for the human form and Geralt is just...absolute perfection.

He finishes washing himself up and scrubs his hair one more time just because he can. With one of those illicit peeks he spies the bland-looking, non-perfumed brick of a thing that witchers apparently call soap clenched in Geralt’s hand. It’s offensive, really, what’s the point of finally being clean if you don’t smell nice after? The awful thing barely even lathers and the foam is half the fun!

Jaskier hums to himself and makes up his mind then and there. He’s clean and feeling so much better for it, the only thing that would make it better would be if the water were hot and he’d get to retire naked to a soft mattress with silken sheets. Since that’s not going to happen he decides he should at least get Geralt smelling sweet and fresh, too. As much as he enjoys curling up to the witcher on cold nights, he far too often ends up with his face closer to his sweaty armpit than he likes.

“Oh, Geralt!” he calls over to him and starts to wade through the water toward him. “That stuff isn’t doing you any favors at all, why don’t you try this? It’s something I picked up back in--oh shi--!”

Between one step and the next, the soil of the riverbed drops out from beneath his feet. It’s so unexpected that Jaskier goes right under and loses his grip on his soap and wash cloth as he flails around trying to figure out what the hell happened. His feet do touch bottom and he kicks himself up, breaking the surface of the water with a sputtering curse before he goes back under.

He does this twice more before there’s a log of an arm right in front of him and he wraps his arms around it and clings on for dear life. He spits and coughs and wastes entirely too much breath on cursing the unpredictable wilds. Jaskier shakes his head roughly and blinks water out of his sore eyes to squint up at Geralt, who is just standing there…in chest-deep water and of course, he’s a fucking idiot. Of course he’d be standing in a deeper part, the massive bastard.

“Don’t know how to swim?” Geralt asks, seemingly content to keep his arm out to keep the bard afloat. He does look concerned, at least Jaskier thinks he sees blurry wrinkles on blurry-Geralt’s forehead. “Are you all right, Jaskier?”

“Why would I know how to swim!” He shrieks it a little louder than he intended, but his pride is wounded and he lost his expensive soap and it’ll be months before they’re in a city here he can get another one. He just wanted to do something nice! “Now my soap is gone and I’m going to have to use that awful stuff you use and I’m going to smell like some..some..”

Geralt brings around his free hand and nestled up against the plain brick of soap in the middle of his broad palm is not only his little bar but also the cloth, which he offers to Jaskier. He isn’t even hiding his big, dumb smile now which means the look on Jaskier’s face must truly be priceless.

“You saved it,” Jaskier states, his brain doing backwards somersaults as it recovers from all this emotional whiplash. He makes no move to take it or let go of the arm that is his lifeline. “Oh. Thank you. Would you like to borrow it?” Now Geralt looks surprised, which makes him hasten to add, “It’s only that your soap is so boring, really, and I thought you might like to try it. I don’t mind, that’s why I was coming over to you but now of course it could be my thanks for you once again saving my life. That’s convenient, don’t you think?”

“It’s too strong,” is all Geralt says in reply as he slowly starts wading back to shore, Jaskier being carried along like a stick.

“Too strong?” Jaskier gasps, offended, and tries to twist himself so that Geralt can see and truly appreciate the look and see his wounded look.

The witcher doesn’t even look down. “Most monsters and creatures have a good sense of smell, why do you think I always try to leave you back at camp?”

His automatic response is to flail and he drops under the water for a brief moment before throwing his hands out to grasp Geralt’s arm again. “I do not stink!”

“It’s a nice stink, which is why it’s a poor choice for hunting. Are you going to stand up now or am I to drag you all the way back to shore?” Geralt has stopped walking, which Jaskier finally notices. And from his position floating on his back in the water he also notices that he is now about hip height with the witcher.

If the water were just a little lower…Jaskier shakes the thought from his mind before it can settle and he embarrasses himself even further. Still holding onto Geralt’s arm he pushes his legs down, feet pointed and toes searching until they finally settle in the dirt. He’s in up to his chest here and resists the urge to climb to safety up Geralt’s back; Jaskier knows he can’t get away with that too often and he doesn’t want to run out of chances so soon.

“Can I at least wash your hair?” he blurts out before he can change his mind. He can see Geralt tilting his head back to roll his eyes but he continues on anyway. “It’s just been so long since either of us have had a good bath and if my hair was awful then your gorgeous locks must be in a very sorry state. Your habit of ending up covered in blood and guts does you no favors. And it’s easier for someone else to get the back. Please? I’ll even use your awful soap.”

“How are you going to wash my hair?” Geralt asks in an exasperated tone, looking down at him. “I’m not putting you on my shoulders.”

Jaskier gives a relieved smile because that isn’t a no. He takes the lead now, keeping his grip on Geralt’s arm and leading them farther into the shallows. “You sit your precious bottom down and I wash, that’s how.”

It always surprises him when Geralt lets him drag him around, how for all his huffing and humming he lets Jaskier take him to where the water is shallow enough for him to sit and let him get a good look at that long white hair of his. This is the only time when he’s actually taller than the witcher and even now it’s just barely. The hair actually looks quite clean, if tangled, but Jaskier’s not going to say so and lose this opportunity.

Geralt holds out his hand with the soaps and cloth in it and Jaskier takes the plain brick and the cloth despite his temptation. He did promise and he can be patient and take his time when he really wants to. The cloth helps lather the soap and he works it all through Geralt’s hair, using his fingers to get through the thick locks down to the scalp. He doesn’t chatter on but he does hum to himself as he focuses on his task.

In this part of the river Jaskier is only submerged up to his thighs so every now and then he catches a chill as a breeze blows through. It’s not the most pleasant but that doesn’t stop him from carefully working out each and every tangle until his fingers run through Geralt’s hair from scalp to end perfectly every time. There’s just so much of it and he longs to brush it and braid it; it’s not fair that it’s always so far out of his reach.

“All right! I think I’ve got it all, go on and dunk your head.” Jaskier pulls his hands away and Geralt leans forward to put his head under the water and runs his hands through his hair to get all the soap out. Then he sits up quickly, whipping his hair back and splashing Jaskier with enough water to have him sputtering again. “Is that the thanks I get for doing something nice! I can’t believe you, Geralt, the sheer nerve.”

Geralt glances at him over his shoulder and the next thing Jaskier knows a hand is grabbing his ankle and all too easily yanking his foot out from under him so he falls under the water. When he surfaces he gives him such a glare that immediately softens at the witcher’s quiet “Thank you, Jaskier.”

“Fine, I forgive you.” He knows he’s also terribly easy when it comes to Geralt. Something about that eternally grumpy face makes it impossible to stay mad at him. “If you ever want to return the favor you’re more than welcome.”

That gets a huff of laughter as Geralt stands, handing over the little scented soap bar he’s still holding in one hand while he rests the other on top of Jaskier’s head. The massive palm curves easily over his crown and his fingers curl against his scalp in a way that makes Jaskier’s knees weak. “I would crush your skull if I attempted that.”

He takes his hand away and takes his own soap back before walking past Jaskier to the bank. The bard doesn’t know if he’s joking or not, but either way he’s damned if he isn’t going to do his best to get those thick fingers in his hair before the year’s out.

[occassionalfanficwriter]

Thought of this while in the middle of drafting a fic:

So it is an established thing that Geralt during his first year on the path was still idealistic enough and not world weary about being a Witcher up until he got a rude awakening with his first monster kill. So imagine if due to destiny or some shit, Young Geralt ends up encountering Jaskier after the Dragon Hunt.

Imagine this scene where Jaskier, hurt and lonely after he descends the mountain comes across this Witcher, young and so obviously lost, decides to help the kid out because he knew how scary it is to travel alone for the first time and Jaskier can tell this is the Witcher's first time so he musters a barely there smile,

"Hello, I don't suppose you'd mind accompanying a bard down this dangerous mountain?"

And this Geralt, Young and Idealistic, but still prepared to be shunned (even if he doesn't truly know what it would feel like to be on the receiving end) agrees and talks to this bard who even though sad (and hurt and so many confusing scents) treats him kindly and gently and looks so worldly decides to see if they can be travel companions.

He doesn't ask him right there of course. He'd do that maybe after 3 exciting contracts because Bards need stories to tell and Geralt knew that Witchers held enough secrets for their exploits to be interesting enough for bards.

They get down relatively safely and Jaskier leads them to the town and looks at the young Witcher he stumbled into and offers a comforting smile,

"Fret not, Dear Witcherling" He says just a tinged of teasing in his tone, "I have it on good word that this town will treat us favorably!"

And Geralt trusts his senses so he believes this bard and ignores the slight uptick of his heartbeat.

And then Jaskier pointedly does not explain his newly acquired Witcher beyond we're travel companions now and he doesn't realize the likeness of this young witcher and his former witcher because this geralt has shorter hair and less of his bulky muscleness. And this Geralt doesn't notice anything off about the town because its his first year on the Path.

So the two of them make idle conversation up until Jaskier is requested to sing at the inn and because his heart is broken and he just lost his friend he debutes Her Sweet Kiss and sings every thing but Toss A Coin. Geralt is left eating on the corner watching the rest of diners and Jaskier who, contrary to what was told to him, treats him like he's just another unremarkable patron.

It's odd and leaves him just slightess unbalanced.

And then Geralt, because he is young and you know excited in his own witcher way to make a friend, offers Jaskier his mug of ale, and Jaskier who is so used to Geralt accepts it without thought.

Because its this little things that Jaskier does that makes this younger version of Geralt grow a favorable expression of him. And Jaskier never notices it because his knowledge on Witchers is based on everything he observes from Geralt and so he chalks everything Geralt does up to Super Secret Witcher Training. Which is ironic and funny considering he is currently travelling with the younger version of his Geralt who is slowly but steadily growing enamored with him.

So they keep on travelling together, first towards Oxenfurt because Jaskier has to do some Bard Academy stuff and Geralt wants to see the ocean. So they end up settling into a routine that is almost familiar to Jaskier and so novel to this Geralt.

This young Geralt, shares everything he knows about the monsters he slays to Jaskier, engaging into discussions and the like always making sure Jaskier is fine and on a safe place before going to do his job.

And Jaskier, who likes learning and knowing, listens and shares the things his Geralt had told him from all the years he had spent on the path to this young witcher also called Geralt. He had chalked it up as coincidence (and Jaskier had been in so many adventures and misadventures with Geralt that he had to draw the line somewhere when it came to what he was willing to put up with). He was having fun with this Geralt who most of the times acts more like his personal knight (and Jaskier will never tire of teasing such a cute witcherling about it) and less like a Witcher.

"Never change, my dear witcherling" He said once upon a night they had shared in the dimmed room of Oxenfurt academy's room allocated to Jaskier. And Jaskier had looked so soft and enchanting with his tender eyes and gentle smile that Geralt was mesmerized.

He had spent most of his time in Oxenfurt attending the astronomy classes and the rest of it taking few easy contracts that wouldn't take him away from Jaskier for a long time. But he hadn't seen Jaskier for a whole day and found himself missing his dear friend and thus waited for him in his rooms thereby being rewarded with this moment.

There is something sweet with being told to not change, with the tone of voice and the look that implies that they had seen you and know you and loved and liked what they have seen and known.

Jaskier had seen him and did not find him wanting. And really it is this moment among many small others that tips Geralt into loving this bard who sings about a cruel world filled with Monsters of all kinds and still loving it.

Geralt falls in love with Jaskier who falls in love with someone new everyday. Who loves him and cares for him gently in a world that has almost no kindness to spare for Witchers.

They leave Oxenfurt in search for new adventures and travel towards the South and it never crosses Geralt's mind to go back to Kaer Morhen for winter because there is something within his instict telling him to stay by Jaskier's side and it had never failed him before so he does.

They get ran off of towns and Geralt laughs along with Jaskier as they make a mad dash towards their horses all the while ignoring the cuckolded spouse/s coming after them. He takes his time in courting Jaskier, plans and plans on how he'd get Jaskier to see him as more than a young Witcher new on the Path.

Everything was going great up until Cintra fell and then they meet Geralt. And this young Geralt finally realizes what he had been ignoring and decides to put it aside for now because he knows himself well and he isn't sharing Jaskier with his idiot of a future self.

(Jaskier has spoiled him and he doesn't care because his skills remain sharp and he has decided that if life would give him one blessing, he's taking Jaskier)

So he takes a step and shields Jaskier from this Geralt. Hides Jaskier behind him even though they are roughly the same height.

Now imagine how this scene looks like to the Geralt who has seen the world and found it wanting? A Geralt who before Jaskier had grown tired and weary and now after pushing away and ruining everything he holds dear. He sees this younger version of him, whose ideals and hopes weren't crushed and instead lovingly nurtured by Jaskier who doesn't know the horrors of being a Witcher but tries to understand and this understanding comes from a place of care.

It feels like being slapped to his face with the possibility he was afraid to entertain, something he had never dared to hope beyond wistfulness and in sheer moments of loneliness when Jaskier's destination diverges from him. Because it hadn't made this version of him weak.

Because right here in this moment, there is a version of him who isn't all jagged and sharp edges. He was looking at a version of him who had embraced the Path and yet doesn't walk it in desolation.

He sees Jaskier's gentle touch on the shoulder, the ease of how this version of him slowly looses his tenseness but still alert, still protective.

He sees Jaskier and how he looks at this version of him and it feels like he was back in Kaer Morhen and feeling the first effects of his cells being remade. A pain like no other.

He is envious.

Envious of the things he lost by denying himself of it. Of possibilities that no longer exist because their time had passed. Envious of this version of him who loves Jaskier, freely, unrestrained and fearlessly.

And then he sees the emotions in this version of him and smiles, all sharp teeth and knowing.

He had never liked himself and this applied to this version of him as well. The feeling, was most assuredly, mutual.