#but it does give me lots of unnecessary stress

[wanderingmind867]

Sometimes I still feel like I almost have too many thoughts and ideas to post them all. My thoughts sometimes come so fast that I'd never have time to post them all. I think this actually explains why I have trouble getting to sleep, too. Also why I'm so easily scared and driven to panic and paranoia. It's because my brain pretty much never turns off. I'm almost always thinking. My thoughts are always turning and turning. It's why I get depressed so easily, too. My brain will harp on things and drive me to feeling miserable sometimes. I'm just a chronic overthinker.

And you know, it's not like the other extreme is any more fun for me. Sometimes i'll get burnt out and i won't be able to think of too much. And sometimes that's fine (spacing out to music or whatever is sometimes nice), but sometimes it also just leads to feeling like you're lazy or whatever, and that starts the cycle of overthinking over again. It's probably less complicated than i'm making it sound, but that's because it's really hard for me to understand myself sometimes. I'm a real mystery, even to myself. Especially to myself.

[mr-ribbit]

not to keep harping on this but if you HATE shaving your body or any other part of your "beauty routine": stop doing it. just stop doing it, at least for a little while (maybe when you don't have a lot going on if that helps) and HONESTLY gauge how it makes you feel. is this feeling better or worse than the amount of time, stress, and money the routine takes? do YOU actually prefer how you looked before, or are you only worried about what others think? if you stopped doing the routine forever, could you find other ways to feel better about yourself with that energy?

when I was like 19 and the idea of not shaving my legs anymore first occurred to me (bc I had a Cool Progressive Boyfriend that Didn't Care) i just stopped and it was immediately like... a quantifiably large chunk of unnecessary anxiety just sloughed off my life forever. instantaneously I got rid a bunch of effort and stress I had been accepting as normal, and replaced it with more time to do what actually made me feel 'ready' in the morning, like hygiene, coffee, preparing for my activities etc.

and i DONT feel self conscious about body hair personally but even if I did, no amount of shame over hair could outweigh how much easier my life is. not just bc 'shaving annoying' or 'long showers' or whatever, but like. yeah I don't waste as much time getting ready anymore, and I also don't have to realize last minute before some leg-showing event that im unfit for display and have a whole self-esteem plummeting anxiety attack about whether I should rush it unsafely and risk being late, cut up, and stressed out before the event, or go With Hair and feel judged the whole time. i don't have to go through any of those emotions and when anyone does comment on my hair rudely, im in a much healthier place to deal with it and tell them to fuck off rather than validate THEIR fucked up standards by feeling bad.

once I realized I didn't give a shit and neither did anyone I cared about, it also gave me the freedom to cut out a bunch of other shit I was only doing (or Thinking I Should) bc it was what girls Have To Do to be presentable. fuck shaving fuck waxing fuck eyebrow shaping fuck concealer fuck multi step skincare fuck shapewear fuck lip fillers fuck contouring fuck teeth whitening fuck all of it, you do not need to change ANYTHING about how you look Every Single Day.

for those of you about to say "but I like being shaven/wearing makeup/literally pulling hair out of my face painfully every day etc etc etc":

have fun and mod your avatar all you want but for gods sake if you hate it and complain about how long it takes and all the stuff you "have" to buy or do just to "get ready" - you do not have to. you're not just having fun. you are not getting Ready, you are making your mood and experience worse for yourself, which is going to make you feel unready and unprepared for actually being yourself comfortably.

[emotionalsupport-ljh]

Breaking and Entering

You don't want Jihoon to worry.

Fluff (a miniscule amount of angst) - woozi x fem!reader

A hell of a lot of words for a sick fic :D Described as "princess treatment" by my friends 😌

AO3 link

Word Count: 3.1k

////////////////////////////////////

Before you even open your eyes, you feel a scratch in your throat that burns like hell. You reach for the water on your nightstand and take large gulps trying to soothe the pain. As your eyes open, they droop heavily and take a moment to adjust to the early morning sunlight that makes its way past your curtains. A chill suddenly attacks the uncovered parts of your body. You duck back under your comforter only to have an oppressive heat come in waves that cause sweat to cling to your forehead. On top of all that, you can’t breathe out of your left nostril. You’re terribly sick.

As you lament in your miserable state, a notification brightens your phone and you have to shut your eyes. You blink them trying to get used to the light, but all it does is give you a headache. You brave through the pain to turn your brightness down and check the notification. It’s a text from your boyfriend, Jihoon.

Jiji: good morning babe~ 😘

You: Good morning!

Jiji: what are ur plans for today? work?

You: No

You pause for a moment before continuing your response. You wonder if it’s a good idea to tell him that you aren’t feeling well today. On one hand, he might want to know that kind of stuff so that he can take care of you. On the other hand, it could cause some unnecessary stress in his already stressful life. Also, with his busy schedule, he probably wouldn’t be able to do much. You decide ultimately that this illness would probably be over quickly, and you don’t want to make Jihoon worry about nothing a little cough medicine and tea would fix.

You: I'm going to take the day off to relax and be lazy lol 😏

Jiji: that sounds nice

i wish i could do the same 😮‍💨

You: Busy schedule today?

Jiji: yup 🙃 but im excited for our date later this week

You: Me too!

Jiji: i have to go to work

text me later

You: Will do! I love you 🩷

Jiji: love u too~🖤

Putting your phone down and taking the chance to move from your bed to at least retrieve some relief in the form of medicine or warm tea, you feel your muscles ache in a way that makes you never want to move again. For now, you stare at the ceiling with the resolve to get over this silly little cold. You fall asleep soon after and stay asleep for many, many hours.

When you finally awaken again, the chill in your bones still hasn't subsided, no matter how many layers of sheet and blanket cover you. You have to force your eyes to open against the deeper sunlight now pouring through the cracks in your curtains. You power through the discomfort to get them to adjust to the brightness. Again, you reach a hand out for your phone and see that it is afternoon and that you have some missed texts from your boyfriend.

Jiji: hey~

wuts up

Jiji: taking an afternoon nap huh

text me when u see this

The messages were all sent about 45 minutes ago. You feel a little bad about lying, but it only strengthens your resolve to get better and put the whole lie behind you. You text back like normal, hoping that he has the time to read and respond even for just a few minutes.

You: Sorry! I fell asleep watching anime

It doesn’t take too long for a reply to pop-up. You had been dating Jihoon for months now, but you still got butterflies every time he texted you. Even now, aching all over and dripping from your face, he makes you feel a warmth you swore would make you even healthier than you were before.

Jiji: oh rub it in my face 🙄 lol

dont get too far without me

You: I would never!! 😫

How’s it been today? You're not too stressed, right?

Jiji: eh

im coping lol

nothing im not used to

You: Don’t push yourself too hard ok? 🥺

You're doing such a great job!!!!!!

Jiji: thx lol

i gotta go. love u~ 🖤

You: I love you too 🩷

You decide to try to come up with the ultimate healing game plan for the rest of the day. You plot out your meals and activities to maximize the time you can spend getting better. Or at least you try to as you come to realize that sleeping an extra 4 and a half hours without getting out of bed means that you’ve yet to relieve yourself. This kickstarts your game plan as you rush to the bathroom.

You power through the aches in your body to finally brush your teeth and put your hair in a manageable bun for the day. You put on your sweats and some socks to keep warm and make your way to the kitchen where you heat up some soup and make a mug of herbal tea. You take medicine and take it easy all day. The change in scenery from your bedroom to the living room not only motivates your mind to change, but also it motivates your body to move. You swear you already feel better.

Unfortunately, the next two days look the same, and you do not, in fact, feel any better. Even with minimal movement throughout the days, you still manage to leave a mess of dirty dishes, clothes, and tissues strewn about the apartment. You are miserable and finally starting to come to terms with it. The delusion of your ability to heal quickly and on your own was finally starting to dissipate. You thought seeing a doctor was a waste of time, but you start to see the necessity of an appointment the more time you spend with a scratch in your throat and a headache hammering your skull.

The worst part, however, is not the pain, nor is it the constant sweating or the need to breathe through your mouth. No, the worst part is that today is Jihoon’s one day off; you are supposed to be ready to go on a date.

It's a little late in the morning when you wake up. You thrash in your bed frustrated that you are still sick and very tired. When you check your phone, there are no new messages. It isn't unusual for Jihoon to sleep in on his days off. You dread having to tell him the truth that you had been sick all week and couldn’t go out tonight. You could anticipate his response: a string of crying emojis and then a laugh where he says he’s just kidding and he’s fine as long as you get better. He wouldn’t really be okay with it, but he would say he is. He would be really disappointed; he isn’t very good at showing his true emotions, but you know he feels them so deeply. You don’t want to cause him any undue stress or heartbreak. At this point, it unfortunately is inevitable.

You grab your phone and hover over Jihoon’s contact, trying to muster the courage to send your good-morning-text and your confession followed by a long apology and promises to make it all up to him one day. You don’t expect your phone to ring, brandishing a very familiar sweet smiling selfie with the name “Jiji” underneath. You are startled then you take a deep breath, clear your throat, and answer.

“Good morning, my baby,” a sleep-rasped voice calls out from the other side.

“Good morning,” you try to answer in a normal voice, doing your best to hide your congestion.

“You sound different. What’s up?” Jihoon caught on immediately.

You whine a little over the phone, only prolonging the inevitable. There’s only silence from the other side. “I’m sick,” you say, then blurt out, “I’ve been sick for the past three days. I really, really tried to get better, honestly. I’m so sorry, Jiji. I can’t go out tonight.”

Your heart beats quickly in your chest, maybe from the nerves of finally coming clean, maybe from the extra exertion on your sick body. The five seconds it takes for Jihoon to respond feel like five hours. All he says is, “Oh. Okay.” After that, he hangs up the phone, leaving you stunned and with a horrible pit in your stomach.

You’re in shock. The kind of shock people feel after breaking a limb or recovering from a disaster. It pushes every other feeling out of your body. You do your morning routine in a fugue state. When you sit back in your bed, it all hits you at once. Tears stream down your face almost unconsciously, and you lay down with your face in your pillow. Eventually, you fall asleep again, too tired from the illness to continue to cry or feel anything.

Jihoon makes up his mind quickly. After abruptly hanging up the phone, he immediately gets up and goes through his own routine faster than ever, even taking 30 minutes off of his normal workout just to have more time for his own plan. After coming home, he does something a little out of character. He goes to the kitchen to cook something that isn’t chicken breast and white rice.

This surprises his roommates. Soonyoung tries to help him with the big pot of what was so far just stock and vegetables. He gets distracted easily, and it takes him a long time to cut up an onion. Jeonghan takes a picture of Jihoon and sends it in the group chat asking if this is normal behavior for Woozis. Seungkwan tries to taste it before the dish is ready and whines when his hand is met with a smack from a wooden spoon.

“This isn’t for any of you. Leave it alone,” Jihoon says in a stern voice.

“Wait, what? Then who is it for?” Soonyoung raises an eyebrow at him.

“Y/N, my girlfriend. She’s sick.”

The mood in the apartment changes. Now, Jeonghan is texting more furiously in the group chat about how Jihoon cares so much about his poor, sick girlfriend. Seungkwan now insists on tasting the dish the whole way through the cooking process to make sure it’s suitable for such refined tastes as his and yours. Soonyoung calls his mom and asks what the best thing is to cure illnesses. It becomes a whole big thing that has Jihoon a little bit annoyed but also grateful his friends care about you almost as much as he cares about you.

Jihoon’s morning and the better part of his afternoon off of work are then filled with surprise visits from Mingyu, Jun, and Seokmin who bring an array of dishes that could feed you for a month and Minghao who brings a special tea blend that he uses when he's feeling sick. Vernon sends a playlist of chill music for you to listen to while you recover, and Wonwoo writes a list of movies he recommends you watch to rest. Chan makes a special delivery of his grandma's famous kimchi, which has the rest of the boys groaning that they don't get any this time. Joshua sends the best essential oil wax melts so you can indulge in some aromatherapy. Finally, Seungcheol makes sure that Jihoon tells you that he can send anything in the world to your house using his card whether it be medicine or a treat from your favorite bakery or even a new designer pajama set to make sure you are at maximum comfort levels.

As he makes his way over to your apartment, Jihoon feels silly carrying a bunch of bags filled with various gifts from everyone on top of the soup he made that seems to pale in comparison. He curses Jeonghan under his breath for telling everyone his plan to bring you supplies, effectively making him the delivery boy because he is the only person who has the passcode to your apartment. He tries to call you on his way over, now adding his phone to the pile he was juggling. It rings a few times and then goes to voicemail. He tries again and meets the same outcome. He assumes that you’re resting; being sick for multiple days sounds exhausting which is why he is so willing to bring over everything he (and the others) could possibly think of to make you feel better.

Jihoon reaches your front door and knocks loud enough that you would be able to hear it from your room, but soft enough that you wouldn’t wake up if you were resting. He waits a beat before just typing the code and letting himself inside. He makes his way to the kitchen and sets down the various bags on the countertops. Only once his arms are empty does he realize the state of the apartment. He slowly takes in the dirty dishes and various random stuff left on the floor. The trashcan is full, and tea bags litter the countertops. There are tissue boxes everywhere, each one full of used tissues.

He walks slowly to your room and, opening the door, he almost couldn’t make out your sleeping shape on the bed. You’re curled up into a ball under many layers of blankets on one side, and on the other was a pile of clothing. There’s more clothing on the floor. Jihoon goes back to the kitchen and takes a deep breath. He meticulously puts all the food everyone prepared into the fridge, rolls up his sleeves, and decides to start there. He makes a list in his head of all the things he could realistically do in the few hours you would be asleep.

The next moment, Jihoon is elbow deep in soapy water scrubbing dishes and wiping countertops. He finds all the cleaning instruments and proceeds to sweep and vacuum. He fills a trash bag with tissues, tissue boxes, and food containers. He gently tiptoes around your room, gathering up the clothes from the floor, which he assumes are dirty, and putting them in the wash. The clothes on the bed, which he checks are clean, are now folded and put in a hamper for later sorting. He even has time to reheat his soup and make a pretty plating of it paired with some rice and a cup of some of Minghao’s herbal tea.

You awaken when you hear dishes clanking in the kitchen. Someone is in your home. You freeze until the noise stops and begin to get up from your bed. With your legs swung over the side of the bed, ready to stand and possibly defend yourself, the door opens slowly and in walks Jihoon with a tray of dishes.

He looks surprised, then flashes a big smile, then says, “Good, you’re awake. It’s time to eat.”

All you can do is stare at him in disbelief as he sets a tray of soup and rice and tea on your lap. He sits cross-legged in the empty space beside you and scrolls through his phone as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

“W…what’s all this?” you stutter out, utterly confused.

“Lunch,” Jihoon answers nonchalantly.

Looking at him beside you, you realize that there is indeed empty space on your bed for him to sit where there was once a pile of clothes. Tears appear behind your eyes when you look around at the spotless floor of your bedroom. You look at your boyfriend as one tear falls.

“Did you…”

“Yeah, it was a real mess in here.” He turns to look at you and uses his thumb to wipe the one tear from your cheek. “Start eating. I bet you haven’t eaten all day. How are you supposed to get better if you don’t eat?”

He was right. You take a spoonful of broth and bring it to your lips. It tastes wonderful. Alternating between tea and soup and rice, you feel fuller, and the heat from the meal eases your throat just a little more. Jihoon looks at you and sees how happy you look to be having a meal that wasn’t microwaved from a package. You are already almost done with the meal after only a few minutes.

“See, you were hungry, huh?” He teasingly shakes his head.

You lightly push your boyfriend's arm. You make a face, suddenly feeling awkward to be around him. “I thought you were mad at me.”

“What? Why? Because you lied to me for days and didn’t let me take care of you? Or because you canceled our date on the day of because you assumed I cared that we went out somewhere?” he starts sarcastically, “I actually hadn’t thought about it all day.”

“I’m serious, Jiji!” you try to whine but end in a cough. He’s laughing at you as you get a little frustrated.

“I’m seriously not mad. I wish you would’ve told me, but being mad won’t fix anything.” His smile is soft, and he’s looking at you with love in his eyes.

“I’m really sorry. I just didn’t want to worry you. I didn’t know it would last this long. Honestly, I don’t know what I have, and you probably shouldn't be sitting so close to me right now.” You weakly try to push Jihoon away, but he sits like a rock, not budging at all.

“I’m fine,” he chuckles, “The plague couldn’t even keep me away from you.” He leans to kiss your forehead.

All your muscles relax as the last few bites on your plate disappear. Jihoon takes the empty tray in one hand and uses the other to guide you to your feet with him. He wordlessly walks you both out of the room. You see that not only is the entire apartment clean, but there are small gifts left out on the coffee table.

“What is all this?” you ask your boyfriend as take a seat on the couch, waiting for him to put the empty plates and bowls from the tray in the sink.

He takes a seat next to you and rubs the back of his neck with one hand and avoids eye contact when he answers, “The guys heard you weren’t feeling great, so, of course, they had to help out, too.” He goes through and shows you the wax melts, medicine, and self-care products. He also tells you about your new stock of homemade meals from the best cooks in the group. You get really excited about the kimchi from Chan’s grandma. He sends you Vernon’s playlist and Wonwoo’s recommendations. He even shows you the text Seungcheol sent him about using his card for whatever you might need.

Everything is perfect for the rest of the evening that was supposed to be a fancy, romantic date night. It turns out that watching movies and listening to music while snuggling and talking is the best medicine for illness and the most romantic date you have ever been on.

[rorysbrainrot]

Headcanons for Mattheo Riddle

• Mattheo would have alright grades, not good nor bad, but when he really starts to enjoy a class that he actually goes to, he’ll automatically become one of the best students.

• Physical touch is absolutely his love language due to not getting it as a kid, he also does a lot of gift giving.

• Heavy smoker, often stressed because of his father always putting pressure on him.

• He doesn’t like Harry Potter, just cause the way he grew up around deatheaters, but not like mortal enemies with him or anything, just bullying when he feels like it.

• He rarely gets crushes, but when he does he will very quickly act on it.

• Slytherin Beater.

• I think that he would always try his best to please his mother. (Bellatrix) y’know?

• He usually crushes on Hufflepuffs, since he thinks they’re cute.

• Buys random unnecessary shit, just for fun.

• Actually does get into a lot of fights, if he sees you look at his friends, him or partner wrong he’ll fight you.

• Loves dogs sm.

• Wears converse religiously.

• Doesn’t talk about his family much.

• He had to get the dark mark when he was quite young. Like around 11 or 12 to prove his loyalty to his dad.

• Favorite dessert is ice-cream, chooses it over everything.

• Sucker for American accents. (Any region.)

——————x——————x——————x——————x——————x

Mattheo Riddle as a boyfriend

• Calls his partner love, princess/prince. When he gets whiny or needy he’ll let the occasional babe or honey slip out.

• After dating for a month or two or whenever he gets attached he’ll randomly show up to your dorm with a bunch of his clothes, sweatshirts, t-shirts etc’.

• Gets needy when he’s away from you to long. (Literally just like an hour.)

•Horny 24/7. I mean he’s a teenage boy.

• Once he gets attached will wait a little bit to be reasonable, but will mentally confess his love for you.

• Won’t let anyone talk bad about you.

• Runs warm, so if you ever try to get away from him while cuddling he will whine/complain about it for the next day.

• Will buy you anything you want.

• Needs to know where you are 24/7.

• If you join any not required classes, he’ll join them as well just to have more time with you.

• The sweetest boy. (When he wants to be, he’s also incredibly sassy.)

——————x——————x———��——x——————x——————x

His Red Flags 🚩

• Will manipulate you to get you to stay with him.

• Doesn’t like it when you talk to other boys (or girls) that he doesn’t know.

• A literal death eater.

• Absolutely crazy.

• Gets into fights tons.

•Alcoholic.

• Would not let you leave him, not even for a break.

• Bipolar along with a bunch of other mental issues, he also refuses to take medicine for.

• Loves you sm, but sometimes doesn’t always show it.

• There’s a lot more, he is just a walking red flag ngl.

——————x——————x——————x——————x——————x

-First headcanons i’ve done. How did I do? Let me know if you want headcanons for anyone else! :)-

[barbiiecams]

mine

rafe cameron x reader, fighting. this is short but i been thinking ab this a lot..

“rafe im letting you know right now i will fuck her up if she tries me.”

“yeah okay.” he chuckles, not believing you in the slightest. “she won’t try anything baby, leave it alone.”

he took another sip of his drink while you gave him the dirtiest stare. all night his ex, sofia, was staring you down, whispering about you, and giving you dirty looks. she didn’t like you because you came straight after her, and that was fine because you didn’t like her either.

“all night she’s been starting shit. i let her bumping into me slide, but now she’s over there clearly making jokes with her ugly ass friends. does she hate herself or something?” you sat up in your lawn chair.

one thing about it, you were never afraid to get down with someone especially if it was about your man. you definitely weren’t as crazy as rafe himself, but just maybe if you were pushed hard enough.

and this bitch who was now walking up to the two of you new exactly which buttons to push.

“great, now she’s walking towards us.” now you were really sat up, ready to smack some common sense into her if she tried it.

“you summoned it.” rafe jokes as you hit his chest, half jokingly and half not.

as she started getting close enough to the point where you could hear her feet in the sand, rafe pretended to be on his phone.

“hi y/n, hi rafe!” she says in a very unrealistic friendly voice. rafe doesn’t answer, and you just look at her with a look that says ‘why are you here.’

to your dismay, topper suddenly comes up next to rafe. “yo bro, they’re making it snow inside you gotta get some.”

and rafe being the addict he was, plus not wanting be around his ex, he got up as quickly as he could. “be right back.”

you truly should’ve went with him, but you didn’t. you wanted to get up and slap him for leaving you there with her in the first place.

he walks away, and sofia takes this as an opportunity to sit down in rafe’s chair. you weren’t having this tho.

“can i help you?” you ask.

“we can’t just talk? we have all this unnecessary beef.” she says.

“i wonder why.” you mumble as you stir the drink with your hand. the drink that was starting to become indented like a stress ball the way you were squeezing it. you hoped that Jesus was on your side and hers. at any moment you could easily crash out and she would have to deal with it.

“y/n, i don’t hate you.” she says with a smirk on her face that said otherwise.

“well we’re nowhere near acquaintances so you might as well.” you told her. yea, you were on that tonight.

“what’s all the hostility for?” she giggles, “sounds like you know where he’s bound to come back to.

now you know she did not just…

“excuse me?” subtly and slowly, you started tying your hair up.

“i mean come on, rafe with someone like you? it’s not meant to be.” she chuckles.

“and what do you mean someone like me?” suddenly the jewelry on your ears, hands, and neck started coming off too.

“do i seriously have to explain it? im not trying to embarrass you.” she laughs some more while looking you up and down.

now you were standing up, fully out of the chair, thinking about each and every way you’d do some damage to her face.

she got up from her chair as well, trying to match your energy but she still didn’t get what was about to happen.

for some reason, she’s just not getting the hint that you were genuinely about to rock her world in the worst way.

“there’s a reason why YOU’RE his ex. i hope you understand that.” you said. you were trying to actually speak before you did something she wouldn’t like.

“and that’s cool. but soon the roles are gonna be rever-”

she couldn’t even get the whole sentence out of her mouth until you slapped her clean across the cheek.

a few people saw this and immediately went “damn!”.

and when she sat there, just holding her cheek and looking at you as if she couldn’t believe you would actually hit somebody, they started going “nah i wouldn’t take that.”

she regains her composure. “you thought that was cute?” she says before attacking you right back, and now you were in a serious catfight with rafe’s ex.

a crowd forms around the two of you in a circle, people recording and being extremely loud.

you were getting hits in, but so was she, so now you had really no other choice but to maneuver your hands to her hair and drag her.

sofia was on the ground, pinching and gripping your arm that was holding her head while you threw blows to her face repeatedly.

“LET ME GO!” she screamed.

“TOLD YO ASS TO STOP FUCKING WITH ME.” you said while you got your punches to emphasize your words.

many people must not have liked sofia, because aside from your few friends at the party cheering you on, other randoms were even for you.

“DO HER SHIT IN, Y/N!”

“YEA Y/N FUCK HER UP.”

“THATS WHAT TF SHE GETS.”

blood started dripping from her nose, getting all of her face so you definitely weren’t stopping — until you were forced to.

the crowd was getting bigger and bigger, voices were getting louder and louder, but someone must’ve had to run inside and notify rafe that you were in a fight. that man wasn’t stopping a coke rush just to see a fight, let alone some random person.

but hearing that it was you fighting? oh he was on go.

a big pair of arms wrapped around your waist, forcing you to be pulled away while you could see toppers hands forcing the grip you had on her hair off.

you weren’t gonna stop that easy. you fought against their restraints and tried hitting her as much as you could, but in reality the two of them were way stronger than you.

“that’s ENOUGH.” rafe yells.

“yea listen to your man!” sofia says while scrambling to get up.

“at least you finally got the hint he’s mine!” you responded real quick.

rafe’s hold on you was real tight. your arms and legs might’ve been free, but you couldn’t go anywhere even if you tried.

once sofia was up, she was quick to try and charge at you again. “you bum bitch.”

you used your free leg to kick her to the ground, sending her to her ass once again. “WHOS THE BUM HOE?”

everyone gassed up at that as well. you’re not the type to fight like this. you really didn’t even know you had all this in you. but tonight, she pushed the right buttons and sent you over the edge.

rafe wasn’t amused at this at all. “would you stop?!” he yells again, now picking your legs up which forced you into a bridal position.

“RAFE PUT ME DOWN!” you yelled at him.

“you can be put down once you’re calm.” he says while walking away with you in his hands. he had to push through the huge crowd with a bunch of ‘move out my damn way’’s.

topper wasn’t too far behind the two of you, chuckling to himself about the fight he just had to help breakup.

the whole time rafe was muttering to both you and himself. “i leave you alone for 5 fucking minutes.”

rafe brought you inside away from the party and up into his bedroom. once you two were there, he threw you down onto his bed with an annoyed look plastered on his face.

you just sat there in silence looking at him as he then wiped a hand over his face. right after, he spoke up. “what’s wrong with you?”

you make of face of serious offense. “what’s wrong with me? what’s wrong with that bucked tooth ex of yours?”

he let the tiniest smirk crack at your joke but he put it away quickly.

“what did she even say? did she hit you first?” he asked.

“she kept talking shit. so i slapped her.”

“what did she say is what i wanna know.” he huffs.

you sigh. “she kept saying how i’m not pretty enough to be with you, how you’re gonna go back to her soon. it was pissing me off.”

he snorts, “do you genuinely believe that?”

“obviously not-”

“then you had no business to be hitting on her.” he says in his firm dad tone that you absolutely hate.

“um yes i did. and don’t even try to have a talk with me about this you’ve literally done worse-”

once again he cuts you off. “this isn’t about me.”

you roll your eyes. of course he’ll never admit he’s a hypocrite.

“whatever. why are you defending her? maybe she wasn’t wrong after all.” you shrug. you knew this was a stretch, but it was pissing you off how he’s basically saying that you’re in the wrong.

you watch the furrow in his eyebrows form. “what are you talking about? i’m not defending her, but you can’t just be going around almost sending girls in a coma.” he tries to reason.

the only thing you can do is sit there with still an annoyed, and upset expression on your face, adding a pout on that couldn’t help but stick.

he sighs while sitting down on the bed himself and bringing you into his lap.

“i know she makes you mad baby, i get it. and you’re right, i’ve done and probably would’ve done worse if it was me. but i know you, y/n. you don’t fight like that. i don’t want you to get in trouble.” he tried comforting you while stroking your thigh.

“she needed the common sense knocked into her anyways.” you said while snuggling into him.

he chuckles, “that i can agree with. but next time she really does make you feel like you need to attack her, just tell me. if there’s one person that will humble her good enough it’s me.”

this makes you crack a smile, but then both of your phones went off with messages.

opening yours, many people are already sending your fight video to your phone.

your friend then texts you after sending the video to a group chat you’re in with her, and a few other friends.

‘girl you knocked the mario coins out her head she went home crying 😭’

your other friends start responding and laughing at the whole thing in the group chat, and both you and rafe are sitting there, laughing as well.

“shit baby, who knew you had that in you? my girls got some heavy hands on her.” he kisses your cheek while taking out his own phone to text his friends.

“i don’t even crash out like that. but clearly it’s different when it comes to you.” you chuckle while getting up and dragging him with you to go party again.

nobody dares to try this with rafe tho. everyone knows he doesn’t play about his girl.

[reddesires]

As a human, living with apes can be challenging in many ways, we know that. Especially considering that not all of them have sympathy for humans. The reader also has to constantly struggle with these difficulties. She needs some consolation after a hard and bad day. The Ape mens are there for her. <3 I really like your writings btw <33

A/N: Thank you so much for the support, Love. I CRI every time you guys give me a compliment. it's the sweestest! ❤️

Caesar:

Since Caesar was reared by humans, he understands how important words of affirmation are to them.

He'll softly speak to you with comforting words while he holds you in his arms in your nest. Caesar holds unmeasurable empathy for you, he knows that you struggle with adjusting to this new way of living and the partial attitude they could have towards you so he'll assure you that your doing a good job and everything will be okay.

Caesar doesn't really indulge in unnecessary small talk but when he knows that you've had a hard day then he'll seem very talkative and it truly helps you with feeling a while lot better since it feels like your mostly ignored by the others in the colony, only a select few willing to speak to you.

Caesar assures you that they'll come around. Your kind nature truly rubs off on others. It worked on him, so it won't take long till it works on them, too.

"How are you so sure?" The pout on your lips pulling a chortle from him as he draws in your waist closer to him, nuzzling his face into your nape and you giggle at the ticklish feeling his fur has on your neck "I just do." It's best to trust him. He is the Ape King, after all.

Noa:

Noa makes you laugh. He will try his best to make you smile to forget the bad day you had.

He's aware of the impartial views some Clan members have of you, and he truly tries to take your mind away from dwelling onto it too much. He'll pull some antics from Anaya's book like playfully rough housing you, throwing you over his shoulder running aimlessly and tickling you till your sides hurt from the laughter racking your body.

He wants your focus to be on him, he knows that your mind will wander back to the events of your tough day so he'll occupy you with jokes or say something sassy about the others that pulls a mischievous laugh from you.

He keeps things light and fun for you, he's rather protective of your feelings, he sees you as delicate both physically and emotionally, it really does bother him that your having difficulty with your new life in the clan but he knows that you'll fit in soon enough, it'll be like you have always belonged there with them for now he'll just have to fill that gap with your laughter and smiles while the others adjust to your presence in the Clan.

"The Elders don't like me, do they?" You mutter, a dispirited tone dripping from your voice, he frowns looking at you as you picked at the grass dejected, he grabs your hand in his, kissing the top of your hand.

"Eh, they're Elder in the head, I like you." He chitters in response, grabbing and pulling you on top of him, ticking your sides. You laugh as you try to escape his grip.

What wasn't there to like about you is a constant thought for him. He liked everything about you.

Blue Eyes:

It's a tie between taking you out or cuddling you, or even both.

He'd rather take you out of the environment that's stressing you, so in order to take your mind off of your bad day he'll take you to the nearby river to hunt for the seashells that cohabited the banks and later on at dusk, he'll bring you to your favorite spot in the clearing not far from the colony.

It brings you peace to be there alone with Blue Eyes as you watch the sun set and the stars takes their centered stage above you. The difficulties that you face while in the colony don't reach you here it's like you and Blue Eyes are transported to a different realm here, a place that you could call your own with no worries of the outside world or the blaring differences between your humanness and his apeness, none of that matters here.

He cares for your well being and from what he's learned from his father, humans tend to be fragile emotionally when it comes to trying to fit in, he could see how rejection affects your mental well being, though he's sure this is only a temporary setback so he's gotta step in and make sure that your doing well both physically and mentally.

"I know you're worried. You don't have to be.." You gently speak, your voice a stark contrast to the silent atmosphere surrounding the both of you, your back leaning back into his solid chest. He plops his chin on your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your midsection comfortably.

"I always worry.." He murmurs, you lightly smile, turning your head as he takes the chance to press his forehead to yours "your mine to worry about"

[bloobydabloob]

Your art is genuinely one of the most inspiring I’ve seen in ages. Immediately upon discovering your blog, I was mesmerized by your creativity bleeding into and staining each piece you’ve posted. Don’t know a lick of Homestuck, but it’s unnecessary to when your art tells me all I need to know without saying a single word. I can grasp why fans of the comic hold it so dear when you paint such a beautiful image of it. (figuratively, not referring to your actual paintings, LOL! Does this count as a pun?)

Sorry, this is just an unrelated doodle because I don’t have any relevant images to add.

I really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to tell me this, thank you. I know it is just like a little act of kindness to you but nice messages mean a lot to me and I wish I could properly project how glad I am to have kind people supporting my art in *any* amount. I’m someone who gets very easily stressed out running accounts so talking to people is what makes it worth the hassle for me. I’m glad you like my art and that it inspires you and anyone else reading this who may feel similarly, I hope I don’t quit art and that I keep improving.

I also do very much recommend giving Homestuck a read if you’ve got the time. The fanbase is unfortunately something I don’t have much of a positive view on but even if it is just some internet comic, reading it growing up is definitely something I wouldn’t take ever back. It has some of the best character / world building of anything I’ve read thus far and it has always just stuck with me. I’ve never had a homestuck friend that moved on from it, which is something I rarely find. I think it appeals to everyone in a different way because of the writing and how vast it is / how many bases it covers. I’m sure that if you ever read it you would find your own connections within the comic. I know though that my drawings are less connected with the atmosphere of the comic itself and infinitely more attuned to my own interpretations and feelings towards the characters, but I also think there is already enough more fitting homestuck art for me to just draw whatever.

Anyways here is my cool new print I got for my wall from @/ReptileEnclosed’s InPrnt, and here are just some of the nice things people have said to me that stick in my mind. Every time someone says something I appreciate I screenshot it and add it to a folder called “Nice Words”.

[ssahotchnerr]

OMG OKAY, AN IDEA INSPIRED BY AN OUTFIT (or two) I FOUND ON PINTEREST!! (I'd like them, but you can't on anon)

Okay, so, you've been dating Aaron for a little while, long enough that you guys live together and Jack would like, love you.

Jack would have a lot of friends at school, and all the mom's would be really close and friendly and would hang out for the sake of having their kids hang out, and they'd sort of be friends in a sense. So, one day, (I don't have the logistics figured out, so bare with me.) you'd have been talking to one of the moms about a way to kind of insert yourself into the school a little more and make more friends so that it's less awkward when he wants to hang out with his friends. And, the mom would suggest you host a garden party. So, you'd throw a garden party with all the mom's and their kids and Aaron would just be the most supportive person ever because he knows how stresses you are. Like you'd be planning this for weeks and you'd spend hours setting up. He'd go to the grocery store with you and help you pick out good foods. And he'd help you pick out decorations and hang them all up. And he'd make sure everything was as perfect as you'd want it to be. And ofc he'd be there during the party and talking to the mom's about how sweet you are and about you in general.

Anyway, sorry about the word vomit that thought has just been rotting in my brain. 🫶

STOP <3333333 fem!reader

when you first bring up the party to him, you're a bit nervous. you're afraid he'll think it's dumb or unnecessary (which you know isn't plausible because he would never) - he's fully on board, soo supportive and immediately off the bat says, "let me know what i can do to help🥹" and gives you suchhh a sweet kiss 🥹🥰🥰🥰

all the prep <333 you're scouring pinterest for ideas constantly - food, decor most importantly, outfit planning, fun activities for the kids. hehe you do this in bed at night, with aaron resting his head on your shoulder. he's watching you scroll, adding input, answering your questions: "is this cute?" "what do you think about this???" and eventually he has to pry your phone out of your hand, place it on his nightstand, so you go to sleep 😭🫶🏻

and week of the party, he's the most helpful assistant <333 as the two of you are grocery shopping, he's in charge of the list, reading off to you what you need as you grab it off the shelves. aaron also helps put together little party favors, helps you make name tags for the tables, and simply does anything you ask of him. he knows how important it is to you that it goes smoothly 🥺 hehe i also like to think at this point, you, aaron and jack have moved out of his apartment to a house with a backyard - where the party will be taking place - so he's on landscaping duty. making sure the grass is mowed and neat, no leaves or sticks are laying around, and even jack helps!!! hehe you planted some pretty, colorful flowers for the occasion as it is garden themed, and jack helped with that 🥹 aaron also wakes up early with you the day of, to begin the prep and setting up. omg imagine him putting together the balloon arrangement you picked out 🥹<333 he would get SO frustrated LMAO but in the end it turns out perfectly 🥰🥰🥰

and since you're so stressed out about it going well, about the other moms liking you and making friends, if the weather is going to cooperate (you were in tears a few days before the party, the forecast predicted rain😭) and aaron clearly knows how stressed you are, he makes sure you take breaks, provides reassurances and helps you get your mind off it frequently <3 hehe he uses the excuse that he needs attention 🥺🤨🫵🏻 and how can you say no to him 🥰

and during the party, aaron's making sure you're enjoying yourself - this is your party. so he takes care of everything - if something is needed, he grabs it or resolves it himself, makes sure the plates of food are always replenished, cleans up. you went through allllll the trouble of putting this together, so you're going to be a part of it and not solely on hostess duty <333

aaron's even outfit-coordinated with you 🤭 his button-up of the day matches the color of your sundress <333 jack's shirt too!!!

AND AHHH HE LOVESSSS gushing about you to the other moms 🥰 he has the most sickly sweet smile on his face the whole time. about how sweet you are, how attentive and loving you are to jack, how lucky he is, how you complete their family perfectly <333 he of course compliments you on the party you put together too 🥹 "isn't it amazing? she did the most amazing job." 😭💞💓

and throughout, he keeps going to your side, pulling you close at the waist, kissing your temple 🥹🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😭😭 and simply keeps an arm around you as often as possible <333 either listening or adding to the conversation you're partaking in <3

after everyone's left and the two of you are cleaning up - jack fell asleep on the couch, all the excitement wore him out 😭 - 🥹 aaron's keeps saying how proud of yourself you should be; the party turned out better than he could've ever imagined, the moms all loved you, he's proud of you, etc <3333 hehe he even throws in the teasing comment that now they're all going to be asking you when the next party is 🥹🥰

[bloodlinesceo]

Gif is mine.

Credit to @tsunami-of-tears for the divider!

A/N: This is the ending & final chapter to Stress. Thank you to those who have supported & read the series! Appreciate it 🩵 It is very long & it's a pretty sad chapter so be aware & have tissues if you need it 😭 For the Tama girlies, there's a poll link for you at the end.

Honestly have no damn clue why Tumblr hid Part 3 from the search 😩 So I'm sure a lot of people haven't read it. So if you haven't Here it is. Tumblr made it flop *sigh*

Pairings: Roman Reigns (bf) x Fem! Reader

Tama Tonga (ex) x Fem! Reader

Summary: Relationship tensions rise between Y/N & Roman. Tama is paid a little visit & reconnects with Y/N. However, something catches his eye.

Warnings ⚠️: 18+ Swearing, angst, fluff, implied smut, mentions of sex, emotional wreckage, emotional breakdown, mentions of mental illness, rehabilitation, violence, prison, Yandere Tama, force being used, jealousy, mentions of eating disorder, couple arguments. Sad. NOT PROOFREAD!

‼️ If situations like this make you uncomfortable, keep scrolling this isn't for you. Unnecessary comments or reblogs will be blocked. ‼️

Tags: @isabella-2025 @wishyouloveme @yana3sworld @reignsboy19 @jstarr86 @rose-bliss

(Depending on the poll results if y'all like Tama, I know someone does lol & still want to be tagged or if anyone else wants to be added lmk).

WC: 5k (Yeah grab popcorn 🍿😭)

Of course this is written for fictional purposes only & is based on their characters, it does not depict who they are in real life. Respect to them & their families.

Keep forgetting to say this but Toko means bro/sibling in Tongan

Enjoy ☝🏽

Roman was out on the balcony looking into the city lights ahead of him. His mind wandered, processing the day him & you just went through. He wished he would've known about your absence earlier, he wished he didn't get so occupied with the fans & that he'd politely cut it short with them letting them know he had to leave with you, he wished he would've kicked Tama's ass out of Waffle House right away so you didn't get hurt, same with Jimmy.

He had so many regrets, he almost lost you to Tama. He couldn't imagine what Tama would've done if he didn't get there quickly, but at the same time if he followed the options he thought about earlier this situation could've been prevented. Roman's eyes watered up thinking about it all, he buried his face in his hands, taking deep breaths. After he calmed down, he went inside to your shared bedroom to check on you. He felt his stomach twist looking at what he saw in front of him, he saw you folding up your clothes & packing them in your luggage.

"Are we going somewhere?" he asked. "We're not, I am" you said. He let out a little chuckle, "without me babygirl? Well damn, have fun & come back soon. I'm going to miss you being away," he admitted. You took a deep breath, knowing what you were going to say, you just didn't know how you were going to say it, but you needed to, and it was going to hurt the both of you, you had butterflies in your stomach, but here it goes. "Roman, I'm leaving. I can't do this anymore, I'm so sorry" you revealed.

Roman felt his heart shatter into a million pieces, his world fell apart. His eyes widened in shock, he couldn't believe what you just said. A 2 year friendship full of supporting each other's careers, traveling together, making inside jokes, being each other's shoulder to cry on. 3 years of dating, going out, giving each other the world, picking each other up when one of you are feeling down, moving in, meeting each other's families, and the times you both spent loving each other. A total of 5 years of being together all gone down the drain & ending right there.

Roman felt cotton grow in his throat, he was numb to what you just said, he couldn't believe it. You felt your eyes water up, but still continuing to pack. You knew he was going to be speechless after you said those heartbreaking words. You loved him a lot, but you didn't have a choice but to do this. There was nothing, but silence between you two as you packed. You finished packing up your belongings, you put your cosmetics bag on top of your luggage, and wheeled your luggage towards the door.

As you made your way past Roman, his hand reached out, gripping the top of the luggage handle stopping you in your tracks. "You're not going anywhere" he said firmly. You looked up at him & he looked you in the eyes, his eyes watering up. "Roman please" you pleaded. "Why? Why do you want to end this Y/N? What did I do wrong? Please, tell me. We can fix this. I'll change my ways for you" he pleaded.

You started tearing up, lip quivering "Roman, it's for the best. Please let me go" your voice started to crack. "I'm not letting you go, I need an honest reason Y/N" his voice shaking. He gripped your shoulders "please tell me, what can I do to be a better man, a better boyfriend?" he asked. "Stop!" you said putting your hand up. "It's not you, you're the best boyfriend I ever had. Please don't make my actions think that you're not enough for me, ever!" you cried.

"Then what is it! Why are you leaving me?" he questioned loudly. "IT'S ME OKAY?!" you shouted. He looked at you in shock, you continued. "It's me & my past catching up" you confessed. You didn't want Roman to beat himself up for letting you go, the honest truth needed to be revealed. "It's because of me. Tama put us through so much shit today, he came after me & harmed you & your family along the way. You all got into this mess because of me. He hurt you Ro, he hurt Jimmy, he threatened to hurt Jey, Solo & Jacob. Hell, he turned against his own brother because of me. I'm the problem, I need to leave your life so he doesn't trouble you & your family anymore, it's best we both part ways Roman" you cried.

Roman shook his head "you don't mean that" he says tearing up. "Babe, it's for the best, please. If I leave he won't hurt any of you anymore." you reasoned. "I don't care about him hurting us! We're in this battle together, babygirl. You're the best thing that has ever walked into my life. My life has changed ever since I met you. You radiate so much light & beauty. I can't see a future with anyone else, but you. I will do anything to protect you even if it's from Tama. I want to spend every second with you. Even if it means fending off Tama, I'll still stand by your side, because I love you, he doesn't intimidate me at all, I'll kick his ass" he said spilling his heart out.

You covered your mouth, tearing up. "I'll always fight for you" said Roman "even if it's against an ex of yours. I want to be on this journey with you" said Roman. "I don't know what to say" you cried. "I don't want to lose you, Roman." "Then stay sweetheart, we'll fight these battles together. You are never alone. You don't have to fight these battles alone. I'm here to love & support you through your ups & downs" he said, "if you want, we'll move from this place. Move far away where Tama won't find us" he said.

Everything that Roman said made your attachment to him grow. You didn't want to leave him, but you didn't want him to get hurt either. But, he was willing to do anything for you. Your life got better, because of him. He didn't want to let go of you & neither did you. What was Tama going to do anyway? He's with the authorities now & under their supervision. One thing's for sure, breaking up you & Roman was what Tama wanted so he can have you. You couldn't let him win. You couldn't prove yourself weak & prove him right. Tama broke your heart, he broke you & he sure had some nerve to come back into your life, especially to seek an opportunity to even get back with you for his own greed.

The thing was you weren't alone in this fight, you had your amazing boyfriend & his family by your side. He was willing to do anything for you & you were willing to do anything for him. The love between you & Roman was strong & it still managed to keep Tama out no matter how much he tried to get back in. You didn't want that bond to end, you wanted to continue loving Roman & he wanted to continue loving you. You saw a future with him too.

You nodded "okay" you smiled. He smiled big, playfully tackling you onto the bed with a hug. He pressed his lips onto yours as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You both shared an emotional & heart full kiss. All is well again. You couldn't believe you almost ended your 5 year bond with Roman, what were you thinking? He pulled away from you & looked deep into your eyes, his pupils turning a darker shade. "You're in so much trouble for scaring me like that earlier" he said nipping at your neck, making you giggle. "I'm gonna punish you" he winked. "Please do" you teased.

"But wait" you said as he took off his shirt, you nearly drooled looking at his body. "What is it?" he asked, you pulled him back down to you, kissing him with full on passion, he immediately returned it. You pulled away pressing your forehead against his "thank you, thank you for everything. You're the true definition of a Real-life Superhero" you said. He smiled showing his pearly whites. "I'm always going to protect you, you mean the world to me babygirl" he said kissing your forehead. "You & your family definitely came in like the Avengers that day" you giggled, making him laugh.

"The Avengers are great, but The Bloodline is the real-deal" he smirked. He placed kisses all over your neck as you ran your nails over his back. He stopped his kisses examining the hickey on your neck Tama gave you, he traced his finger over it. You figured that's what he was looking at when he stopped. "I'm so sorry Roman" you said softly growing emotional, you knew he was going to lash out any minute, and he has every right to. "I swear, when that man's out, I will smack the lips off his face if he ever comes near you or us again. I don't even want to see his shadow or else he's gonna have to sleep with one eye open every night" He gritted through his teeth.

"RoRo" you said getting his attention, "let's forget about him & focus on us. He's in the past now." you said. " He nodded, he removed your shirt & you wrapped your legs around his waist. That night you both loved each other to the fullest, with kisses & touches. You both never let each other go. You were his & he was yours, always.

One Month Later

"Uce, are you sure you want to do this?" asked Jimmy. "It's just for the sake of sanity & a peace of mind" said Roman. "Did Y/N agree to it though?" asked Jey. "She did, she wants to do it" nodded Roman. "I know there's so much going on, but she's willing to make changes, she's going to switch to remote learning until her transfer progress is complete with the new school" said Roman. They both nodded in understanding.

"How's your ankle Jim?" asked Roman. "It's healing up, I'm just glad the cut wasn't too deep" he said pulling up the cuff of his pant leg to check his ankle. Jey shook his head "Grateful that nothing worse happened to you, Uce" he said giving him a side hug. "The worst that would've happened is him biting my ankle" said Jimmy shaking his head. "Jim!" exclaimed Roman, "what? It's true!" said Jimmy. "He's going through shit, stop man" said Jey playfully shoving his shoulder. "Well sorry, but it still doesn't give an excuse for him to cut me like a pork chop, damn!" said Jimmy.

You & Roman both got out of the SUV, you looked around the parking lot, barbed wires everywhere over the fences, you had your arm wrapped around his as you both went inside. Security at the front desk spoke & escorted the both of you into the elevator, it took the 3 of you to the top floor. Once you both got out, the both of you got screened by security, the officer punched in on the pin pad & swiped his card leading you both into the wing. You both went down the hall entering another door. You & Roman came face to face with Tonga Loa, he nodded at you both.

"Hey Loa" you said going over to hug him, he returned the hug. You pulled away & cupped his cheeks looking into his eyes "are you okay?" you asked softly. He nodded "trying to take it one day at a time" he breathed. You nodded "I'm so sorry" you apologized. "It's not your fault, I wish I would've seen the signs earlier & act upon it" he said. "It's going to be okay" you whispered letting him go, he nodded.

Roman came over & gave him a hug. "All good?" he asked "yeah, I'm just glad this whole thing is being solved & addressed, better late than never I guess" said Loa. Roman nodded "I appreciate you for stepping in to help weeks ago, I know it must've been tough to step up to your older brother. So thank you & I apologize for yelling at you in front of everyone at Waffle House the other day" said Roman. "It's all good & of course, I didn't want him to hurt anyone & himself" said Loa. Roman patted his shoulder.

A guard called the 3 of you over to a window. Loa sat down in front of it. "How's he doing?" asked Loa looking up at the guard. "He's progressing, and getting better. However, he hasn't been talking & making direct eye contact, also skipping meals. But, we'll continue to work with him." said the guard. Loa nodded "I'm just glad he's getting the help he needs & is progressing. Maybe he'll talk to me" he said.

The guard made the radio call to his coworker. You & Roman stayed leaned against the wall behind Loa watching everything. Another guard from the other side of the window opened the door coming in, & held it open. There he was, he took slow steps into the room. You took in his appearance, it's been a month since you've last seen him & it seems like rehabilitation has done a lot to him. Although, the guard mentioned that he's getting better, it seemed like it has mentally took a toll on him to fight for the betterment of himself. His curly hair was disleveled & messy, his jumpsuit had wrinkles all over, beard was overgrown, his face was pale & there were dark circles under his eyes.

He sat down on the chair, looking down & not at the bullet proof glass barrier separating him & his brother. "Feel free to speak into that mic, he'll be listening from the speaker in front of him" instructed the guard, Loa nodded. "Hey Toko, it's been a while. I hope you're doing okay. I miss you so much, not just me, but everyone at home misses you" said Loa. No reaction from Tama he just kept looking down at the speaker in front of him listening, but refusing to look at his brother.

You felt your heart sink, seeing Tama in this condition really hurt you. Yes, he hurt you in the past, and he clearly needed help because he wouldn't leave you alone & he hurt your boyfriend & his cousin, but you really wished you could've done something, maybe be a bit more kinder & compassionate to him rather than hesitant & rude when he wanted to talk to you. You felt somewhat guilty on the inside blaming yourself for this.

You looked over at Roman while Tonga was talking to his brother, he smiled at you. "This is all my fault" you said. Roman raised his brow "what do you mean?" he asked. "If I was more kinder & compassionate towards him when he wanted to talk to me at Waffle House, this wouldn't have happened. He wouldn't be in there, today" you frowned. "Will you stop blaming yourself, babygirl?" whispered Roman. "If Tama wanted to talk to you & you were in a rush to leave, he could've been more understanding & waited another time to talk to you rather than dragging you to the smoking patio."

"Maybe it was killing him inside & he just really wanted to say it" you said. "Yeah but still, grabbing your wrist & taking you by force was aggressive of him, he's lucky I wasn't there to catch that & he could've been understanding knowing you moved on. Just my 2 cents. Do what you want with that information, but quit blaming yourself. I know you're an empath but you got to be empathetic towards you, he could've hurt you, babygirl" said Roman. You nodded "you're right, I just hope he gets better soon" you sympathized looking over at the two brothers.

"Anyway, I will be back & we're praying everyday for you. Can't wait to see you come home & for us to go to work together & Tongan twist all those tag teams. Ain't nobody realer than us, those belts are waiting for us & everyone is waiting for you at home & work, Fale says he can't wait to have a game of Call of Duty with you. Get better soon brother. I love you" said Loa as his voice cracked, the guard patted his back. Still Tama remained in the same position & pose listening to his brother's words, he didn't move nor react, he didn't make eye contact. Loa got up & came over to you & Roman.

"Are you sure you want to do this Y/N?" he asked confirming, you nodded. "You're okay with this?" he asked Roman, he nodded. "I know we've had our differences, and went back & forth. I'm very upset with his past actions & especially with what he did to Y/N & my family. Clearly he's not okay, but he's human & deserves to get better. Y/N & I will be moving, but hearing about Tama, I hope her visit gives him some light before we head up North" said Roman. Loa half smiled "appreciate you Uce." Roman motioned for you to go & talk to Tama, you nodded, he kissed your head for comfort & to wish you luck.

You walked towards the seat in front of the window & sat down. "Whenever you're ready" said the guard. You nodded & took a deep breath looking up at the man sitting there motionless. "Hey Tama" you cooed, he scratched his beard, you froze at the movement, but he was still looking down. You took a deep breath & you spoke again. "I know it's been a while since we've last seen each other. I hope you're doing okay" you spoke softly. You stopped after your sentence & observed him.

He slowly started to lift his head up, his brown & tired eyes making eye contact with you. You felt a knot in your stomach & gulped as he looked at you. "That's the most I've seen him react Bob ever since he got here! He's making eye contact!" exclaimed the guard behind you to the other guard behind Tama on the radio. "Oh my God, he's looking up" said a stunned Roman. Loa started to get emotional seeing his brother moving around. Tama started looking around taking in the environment he's in. The guard rubbed his shoulder, "you're safe & in good hands buddy, don't worry" he assured, calming him down.

Tama looked back at you. You smiled at him, eyes starting to water up. "I heard a lot has happened, I've heard you've been doing good & making progress which is great, but you haven't been feeling yourself lately, you haven't been eating nor sleeping" he continued to look at you. "I understand it's tough to take all of this in & you've never been in this situation before. But please, take care of yourself. You have so much to live for Tama, so many memories to create, so much to achieve & you've achieved so much, you're creating a legacy, people are waiting to see you, people look up to you including your own brother, you are one of a kind Tama, you make people laugh on, you make people believe in themselves, you are a star" you said.

You didn't know what else to say, Tama did hurt you, but he was a part of your life, someone you loved, worked & grew up with. It really broke your heart to see him like this, but you wanted to give him some hope so he can get better, live his life in a healthy & better way & move forward from you, hopefully. "Tama, I just want you to get better & I'm sending you all the support. Please don't hurt yourself. There's so many people who care about you, I still care about you. The more you take care of yourself, the quick you can get out of here" you encouraged.

"Sending you all the light & healing. Everything is going to be okay, you'll find the girl of your dreams, you'll get those titles with your brother & rule the tag team division, you'll live a happy life. I wish you nothing but the best" you said tearing up as you placed your hand on the glass window. Tama leaned forward looking at you, his head slowly turned to the side & looked at your hand planted on the barrier in between you two. He lifted his hand up which was shaking, and placed it over yours. You smiled through the tears.

Tama's lips started to quiver looking at both of your hands on top of each other, separated by the plain window. He looked at you, moving his head closer towards the window eyes getting watery. Tears ran down both of your faces as you looked at each other, even the guards on both sides were touched. Roman was touched, even though he gets protective over you sometimes, and he can't stand Tama, he let this one slide for the better. Loa smiled through his tears looking at his brother's emotions.

Roman pulled him into a hug as he cried onto his shoulder "there, there you big baby" he joked. "Fucking rude, your cousins were right" scoffed Loa, "I'm kidding, cry your heart out, I'm glad he's responding & I need a word with those cousins" said Roman. Tama pressed his forehead against the window crying, you got closer to his face, looking at him. "It's okay, I'm here now. You're going to be okay. Deep breaths, love" you assured. He stuttered out your name, you nodded at him smiling in tears.

You pressed your forehead against his on the window as you both had a moment to yourselves, tears flowing down from both of your faces. His tear stained face turned & looked at your hand, something caught his attention. He wiped his tears away & moved his head over to your hand, inspecting it. You looked up only to see that Tama wasn't in front of you. You looked at your hand & saw him looking at it. Tama saw the sparkle of the sapphire diamond mounted with a silver platinum ring sitting on your finger.

Yup, Roman proposed.

You two were engaged to be married. He did it 2 weeks after the incident. He proposed to you at a restaurant in downtown on your date night. He has never been so sure of anything else than to spend the rest of his life with you. You both loved each other, brought the best out of each other, and would fight the world for each other, your love was invincible. The ring solidified that & Tama was staring at it knowing he lost you.

"Shit!" cursed Roman. "What happened?" asked Loa. "I told her to take the ring off before she got here!" said Roman facepalming himself. Loa turned & saw his brother eyeing your hand. Your heart stopped, you didn't know what to do. Tama looked at you, you felt chills all over you. His expression slowly changed from sentimental to envious, his eyes darkened. You shook your head, trying to show him that he shouldn't let his anger & emotions get the best of him, clearly that didn't stop him. His nostrils flared, and his face twitched. He started to scream, bawling & banging his fists against the window startling you & the guards. Roman immediately ran over, pulling you up from your seat, directing you away from the window, and taking you towards the wall where you both were leaned against earlier. All you can hear are his faint screams muffled by the window.

"Backup! Visitor window #4, back of house immediately!" yelled the guard on the radio. The guard behind Tama tried to calm him down, but Tama kept on resisting. "Take it easy buddy!" the guard next to you said through the mic. More guards arrived holding onto Tama & carefully escorting him out of the visiting room.

Loa shook his head tearing up, you teared up thinking everything was okay, but it seems like he needed more time to get better & you showing up wasn't probably the best idea since he was after you in the first place. Roman hugged the both of you. You buried your face into his chest crying as he caressed your hair. You both were lead out by the guard.

The 3 of you walked into the parking lot. "Listen, I love y'all & don't take this the wrong way but I don't think y'all should ever come back here" admitted Loa. "No, you're right" said Roman. "Tama was still progressing being rehabilitated & getting better. We showed up during the process when he should've fully recovered. It won't happen again. Y/N & I will be going away." said Roman. Loa nodded "I wish you both the best together & congratulations on the engagement" he said.

"Thank you Loa" you said giving him a hug, he hugged you back. He gave Roman a hug, "take care, praying for Tama, he'll get better" said Roman, he nodded.

Loa, you & Roman parted ways. You & Roman got into the vehicle & drove off.

On the highway

"I told you to take that ring off before we went to the facility. What were you trying to prove?" asked Roman agitated. "I wasn't trying to prove anything I forgot, I'm sorry. I didn't know where to put it" you apologized. Roman shook his head. "You could've put it in your jewelry box, locked it up then give it to Naomi, she would've kept it somewhere safe. She doesn't know what you have in there. Tama went ballistic seeing that. We're trying to heal him" said Roman. "I'm so sorry, I just thought things were progressing, it was dumb of me to stick my hand out like that. God, I feel so horrible now. Tama had to go through that because of me" you said tearing up.

Roman stopped at the red light & leaned over to kiss your head. "There's a lot we didn't know, everyone is different & works in their own way. All I know is that we shouldn't have went there when Tama was healing. But, Tonga called me & told me he wasn't doing well, he calmed down & is improving but like the officer mentioned, he wasn't making eye contact, sleeping nor eating" he said.

"And that's kinda why we went to visit him. I wanted to give him some hope, and shed a light so he can move around around. I know what he did in the past was wrong in so many ways. But, I don't want him to ever hurt himself. I won't bug him again. I just pray that he gets better & fully recovers. I hope he moves on. It seems like he still hasn't at the moment & is disturbed" you said.

"He'll get better, we need to let him be on his own it's only been a month, babygirl" said Roman "give him some time." you nodded & looked out the window. Roman kept driving, he got a phone call from Jimmy mentioning what him & Naomi will bring over to the house party. "No Jim I'm not going to stop by Waffle House for takeout...you already ordered online?" he paused over the phone listening to what his cousin had to say, he sighed "okay, I'll pick it up on the way back. You're welcome." Today marked the last day you & Roman would be staying at your home before moving. So the family decided to throw a going away party even though they'll be joining soon, cause family always stays together.

Roman hung up & glanced over at you then back at the road. "You still care about him don't you?" he said not taking his eyes off the road. You turned your head & looked over at him. "Kind of, but that doesn't mean I want to date him again. I just want him better for him. As long as he's still thinking about me it's going to hurt him more. I don't want him to go through that pain & suffering anymore. He was a part of my life. The first man I trusted, kissed, made love with & everything. Sadly, he did hurt me, and that lead to our break-up, but usually after break-ups people dwell on it for a bit, and then move forward with their lives. Sad truth is, he hasn't. He didn't take it too well." you said.

You looked at Roman he was silent hearing what you had to say. "I'll always love you, thank you for coming into my life, making it better & for everything you've done for me. You mean more than words to me. I'm glad I found you. I can't wait for us to start our married life together" you say holding his hand. He glanced at you briefly smiling before pulling into a parking lot.

"I know you've been feeling down ever since we've returned from there. Thought you could cheer up with some comfort food." said Roman. You looked out the front window & saw the big Dairy Queen sign, you smiled. "I love you Tribal Chief" you said hugging him. "I love you too, babygirl" he smiled.

Roman pulled into the drive thru & you both ordered & received your desserts. You both started finishing off your ice creams in the parking lot. "So good" you sighed in content, "I needed this, thank you RoRo" "of course, I know how much you love your dairy products" he said. You finished yours off, but Roman had something planned, he took some ice cream & put it on the tip of your nose.

You gasped "YOU DID NOT" narrowing your eyes at him. "I sure did" he chuckled. He leaned in & licked it off your nose. "Ugh! You know how I feel about that!" you said crossing your arms. "You know, ever since we got engaged. We didn't really have a proper celebration" he smirked. "Oh my gosh, in a Dairy Queen parking lot really Ro? What if they catch us?" you asked worried. We'll go to the very back" assured Roman. "But the twins, Naomi & the rest of your family are waiting at home!" you said.

"They're adults, they can keep themselves entertained & wait" said Roman. He got out of the driver's side & opened the door to the backseat. You started biting at your nails, "babygirl" he called out, you turned your head around to look at him. "I'm waiting" he said in a deep voice, licking his lips. You swore you could've combusted right there. How did you get so lucky? You smirked at him, got out of the shotgun side & made your way towards the backseat. You went over to his side & climbed into the back side before him. You felt a smack on your ass as you went in. You turned around & cocked a brow at him. "I couldn't help myself" he smirked. He got in after you & shut the door.

The End 💫

A/N: Thanks to those who stuck with the series, followed it & read it till the end. Especially those who provided feedback, reblogged & liked, I appreciate you angels so much! 🩵 Now Tama girlies, I did promise you something at the start of this series. There is a poll out based on if you want an alternate version to this fic where she ends up with Tama.

Here's the link

[vigilskeep]

wait, Minerva "canonically" has a baby?? i want to know everything!! when how what - how does motherhood change her, pls elaborate, srry if you talked about this before, i just love them so much

she does!! i talk abt this less bc i think its self-indulgent jghsskks and that people are less interested in this, but it’s super fun to think about for me

the baby was a surprise, minerva was kind of being stupid about it lmao because she was being less careful than she might have been in the circle, especially because she’s a warden now so she’s less likely to get pregnant at all, without really thinking through what might happen. (i’m sure our local kinloch hold spirit healer companions both had their field days telling her off for this at some point.) but as soon as it does happen she wants the baby so badly. as a circle mage and then a warden she had never really seriously considered it a possibility for herself, but she loves children, and it’s been so long since she had a real family

it’s zevran’s and zevran is in antiva most of the time. i think she has a weird crisis about whether he’ll want anything to do with a baby, and she would despise for him to come back just out of obligation but also what if he doesn’t come back, and she ends up procrastinating telling him for, like, months. just a stupid amount of time. bc she was born to stress her man out and to give her wardens unnecessary grudges against him because they thought he had obviously chosen not to be here because obviously she would have told him. truly when will his suffering end. anyway he’s thrilled when somebody eventually does him the courtesy of letting him know

the baby’s a boy, she names him duncan, it sparks a whole other argument with alistair that we won’t get into here. he gets nicknamed junior a lot, partly bc he’s duncan jr, partly bc of the ongoing joke that he’s the resident Junior Warden. he was very much raised in warden blue since the cradle. because minerva is so busy and zevran is often away, he’s pretty much collectively raised in vigil’s keep by the awakening squad and whoever else gets added to that trusted inner circle. which works out bc wardens don’t often have kids of their own so they all just kind of... share this one lmao. (and possibly sometimes also oghren and felsi’s kid if they stick around?) it’s velanna who instigates this bc that’s what the dalish do and she’s also literally the only one here who knows what to do with a baby so thank the maker she’s here (minerva’s practised with kids but by nature they don’t have babies in the circle)

i’m so thrilled that spellblade is a crow-themed rogue-like mage subclass bc that’s exactly what i always pictured for duncan jr eventually. he’s a mage, his magic manifests very young, but minerva is very strict abt his studies and it has the unfortunate reverse effect of making getting his dad or nathaniel or sigrun to teach him combat much more fun. it works out really bc his magic having manifested is a tightly kept secret so it’s good for him not to have to rely on it

being a mother kind of changes/crystallises a lot of minerva’s priorities. it’s one thing to say, like, i would like to improve the situation for my fellow mages at some point, or, it sure would be nice to live past a warden’s usual limits. it’s another thing entirely to have a mage child and need to make a world that’s safe for him and live long enough to see it done. it ends up being a key issue of her conflict with the chantry between origins and inquisition because nobody’s quite certain what the rules are. obviously if she were still a circle mage any child of hers would be taken away. but she’s not a circle mage and arguably the chantry has no right to a child born outside of the circle, with no sign yet (as far as anyone outside vigil’s keep knows) of magic. (like i say it manifested younger than normal so this is believable even to those who think he will eventually show.) it definitely exacerbates tensions, shall we say, because obviously they can pry him out of her cold dead hands

he’s probably still only quite young in inquisition. six or seven? somewhere around there, i hate timelines. not sure where he is while minerva and her squad are on their quest, but given the very short list of people she trusts that much, i have to say that the most insane answer is likely: he’s in denerim as a temporary ward of the king. probably the first elven kid to be such

[aphroditestearsofjoy]

🌸 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞

I've been active in the self-care community for a little bit and read lots of books about lifestyle. There is already a lot of lovely advice on this app, but there are some important aspects I haven't seen and some aspects I don't think are as important. I hope this helps some people to accomplish their dream lifestyle!  But in all honesty, I do mainly write this as a list and reminder for myself. This is going to take quite some time to read, but I promise you, it will be worth it. 

Before you read everything, I want to remind you that this is a long list of healthy habits. That does not mean you need to follow everything to be "that" version of ourselves, we need to be realistic. It's kind of like vegetables. Vegetables are healthy, and you should eat them, but you don't need to eat all the vegetables that exist in order to be healthy. You eat the vegetables that you like and align with your lifestyle. So follow the tips that you like and align with your lifestyle! 

𝕄𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕤𝕖𝕥

This is one of the most important parts of a healthy lifestyle. I have a lot to say here and on most other parts of this post so if you want to know more, just let me know!

💭Because I am mindset - this is one of the most important things you need to learn! If you want to feel loved, good enough, pretty (Or all because that is what you deserve) or anything else, the only thing you need to do is change the way you think. 

For a moment, I want you to think and answer this question to me: "Why are you good enough?" If you answered with your accomplishments, looks or anything that is not "Because I am me, and I am good enough." you are wrong. This may sound weird because in the self-care community we are taught that in order to be successful we need to have things like a morning routine, a bedtime and always need to take care of ourselves. While these are things that can improve your life, they do not make you any more deserving of love and care. If you let your happiness depend on anything but the fact that you are here and that you deserve it, you will always be unhappy. Even if you don't feel it now, the moment you feel overwhelmed and are unable to make up to your reasoning on why you are good enough, you feel depressed and undeserving. So the moment you don't do your task, you feel like you are incapable and not good enough. All because we base our self-worth on our actions instead of ourselves. You are putting yourself through so much unnecessary stress when doing that. You deserve better than that.

Let me repeat it out loud for you: "I am not doing my morning routine, am I still good enough?" YES, because you are you, and you are good enough. 

💭 Stop procrasiating - This is a hard one for me, since it is something I still struggle with to this day. But it is sososo important. You probably already know what you need to do to improve your life. Of course, you don't know everything, but you don't need to. A lot of things will come in your way when you are actually doing it, and you can't try out everything at once. But when you think about it, you find it easier to procrastinate than to actually do things. There can be so many reasons for that.

Stop watching so much content on YouTube and Tumblr on self-improvement if you are not going to do anything with it! This is a very easy way to procrastinate. Because you convince yourself that you are being productive, because everytime you watch content with new good advice you get an ephifhany. You are not going to do anything with the information, go watch a Netflix show, you will probably enjoy that more. You already know what to do, so go and do it, keep interacting with content that inspires you and learns you new things about self-care to try out, but don't use it as an excuse.

Let me tell you these very harsh words: If you're not going to start doing it in the next 24 hours, it's better to give up on it now. You don't have to do everything in those 24 hours, but set the first few steps. If you really want it, you should start acting like it. There is no perfect time to start, the only time you need is time to practise and exerience it!

💭 Be gratefull - We are so blessed. Even when going through hard times, there is still a lot of beauty to life. When looking at the news nowadays, it's very easy to get caught up in an overwhelming feeling of sadness or pain. Or with social media, it can be hard to see our own beauty when we see this overidealized picture of a model.

There is a last very important reason why you should practise gratefulness. And it's selective observation. We as humans think, see, feel, hear and smell a lot. Way too much for our brain to properly comprehend. Because of this, our brain will focus on certain things. These things may differ for everyone. But what we interact with a lot, we get used to. So, by interacting with positive thoughts and by appreciating ourselves and the world around us, we will notice these positive and pretty things. 

There are 2 ways I bring positivity and gratefulness into my life. The first one is one you've probably heard alot about: Writing down 3 positive things at the end of the day. I do this but also add a morning exercise, where I specifically write down 3 positive things about myself or my opportunities! The second thing I recently started doing is being aware of your surroundings. I got inspiration from a drawing on tumblr I found not so long ago. Instead of going on my phone when I need to wait for a while or putting on music when cycling to school, I sometimes just try to look around me and appreciate everything I see. When I do this, I  call out my appreciation in my head. I look around and think "Wow, the way that bird looks is just so magical; it looks happy and at peace." or even "The color of that mailbox suits the house so much." It helps me appreciate the little things.

💭 Protect your energy -

In the end, we are the ones responsible for our own wellbeing. Of course, we can partly depend on others, like our friends, family, our partner or even a stranger. But just as your priority is your own happiness, theirs should be their happiness too. That does not mean you can do what you want whenever you want without caring about other people. But by this I am implying that you should stop pleasing people and listen to what you want. Of course, you want to avoid toxic people and situations in general. But when you do get in touch with them, you can lay responsibility to them and wait for them to change or take responsibility by making your problem clear and distancing yourself from them and the situation if needed. 

Another way of protecting your energy i by being in tune with your emotions. Allow yourself to feel your emotions fully, write them down if needed, talk to people if needed, scream them out if needed, but always give them the space they need. Also learn when to take a step back so that you don't hurt others while feeling an overwhelming number of emotions. 

Take enough time for self-care. I would recommend making time for it in your routine. But also do it when you need it or feel like it. This is the only body and soul you've got, so you had better take care of it. Do this by eating things that fuel your body and that you like, drinking herbal teas, taking a bath and meditating (more o that later). It can be anything as long as it relaxes the body and mind. Personally, I like to keep 1 day a week to myself in which I fully focus on the needs of my mind and soul.

💭 Curiousity made the cat wiser - Curiosity should always be cherished. Curiosity is what makes us human, curiosity is what gives us the power to wake up and see what the day has got in store for us, curiosity is what keeps us busy and entertained. One of my favorite quotes on curiosity is from Plutarch: "The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled." It beautifully explains how knowledge feeds our brain and keeps us alive and warm while we should also take care of it.

You should always strive to learn new things every day. It feeds our brain, so that it can function properly. Not only that, ir keeps us entertained. Some things that I'm studying in my free time are:languages (German, Korean and a little bit of Italian). I started learning how to program and i just generally read a lot.

ℙ𝕙𝕪𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝

💭 Workout - There are a lot of benefits to exercise. A few of my favorites are: 

They make you happy (exercising stimulates the brain to release serotonin, this is known as the feel good hormone. It uplifts and stabilizes your mood but is also important for social behavior, memory, learning and appetite.)

It can help control weight (Because exercise can burn fat or help you gain muscle, it can either help you lose or gain weight.)

Getting enough weekly exercise prevents a lot of diseases (like strokes, metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, depression, anxiety, many types of cancer and arthritis.)

It improves your daily energy levels (It boosts your endurance and improves your lung and heart health so that you have more energy throughout your day.)

It can improve your sleep (When you exercise your body releases endorphins. Studies have shown that these endorphins prevent sleep problems and limit sleep quality disturbances. They reduce sleepiness during the day so that you are more sleepy at night.)

Now we need to find out how much exercise you need. I would recommend getting at least 30 minutes of exercise a day (except for your rest days). But this might be different based on your goals, the intensity of the sport, how many times a week you exercise, age and disabilities. So do your research! Get at least 1 day rest a week, but getting 2/3 would also work depending on your schedule. You don't have to go to the gym! You can do home workouts (HIIT, yoga, pilates, muscle, just search it up on YouTube), go for a run outside, join a sports club (like tennis, hockey, football or dance). 

💭 Sitting - Maybe you've already heard about it. But sitting is the new smoking. It is one of the biggest health problems nowadays and responsible for way more deaths than you probably think. 

Sitting for a long period of time can be very harmful. The average person in the UK sits for about 70 hours a week with only 2 hours of exercise. Comparing that to 20 years ago, we sat (on average) 3 more hours a day. Research states that prolonged periods of sitting have been linked to cancer, Alzheimer's disease, obesity, heart disease, poor cholesterol profiles, type-2 diabetes and asteoporosis. Sitting too much in a non-active posture without movement also comes with the risks of weakening our muscles and thinning our bones, reducing digestive health and depressive symptoms.

After hearing all those negative consequences, I am so happy to share that these are easily preventable. By taking short breaks while sitting for a long period of time, you allow your blood to fully circulate, and it can already heavily impact your consequences. An easy way to do this is to put a glass next to you while studying/ working, so that you have to take a short walk to fill the glass up again. I would not recommend doing this if you know it will make you avoid drinking water or if you are at a library. Another important way to prevent the harm that comes from sitting is having 30 minutes of physical exercise daily. Try to go on a daily walk and do stretch and yoga exercises or any sport of your choice. The best thing about this one is that if you don' t reach your goal one day, you could catch up later in the week. As long as you get 3 hours and 30 minutes of physical exercise a week, you are good. If this is to much for you, you could also try 20 minutes daily, but I would recommend 30. Last but not least, try to better your posture while sitting. Make sure your spine follows it's natural curve and when possible try to sit in an "active sitting pose". Please invest in good chairs, so that when you sit, the consequences are still minimal. 

Little reminder that you should not be scared of sitting. Sitting is not a problem, even when you do it a lot. But sitting for long periods of time without an active lifestyle and/ or having breaks in between the periods of sitting is very harmful.

💭 Food - At the moment, I am working on a post where I will talk about having a healthy diet. In that post I will talk more about eating specifically for your needs. And with that I will only share some basic tips on here that (in my eyes) are a necessity for everyone. 

The most important tip I can give anyone in terms of eating is focusing on a healthy microbioe (a more detailed post will be coming on this). The microbiom is the fingerprint of our gut system. Our microbiom is in direct contact with your brain. Having a healthy microbiom has an influence on your skin, health, feelings, stress, mental illness and lots of other things. Because of this, it got the nickname "Second brain".  The basics of having a healthy microbiom is eating enough fiber. For the average woman, the minimum is 30g a day and for the average man, 40g. Again, this is the bare minimum to keep our microbiom alive. The second one is eating a wide variety of plants: species, vegetables, fruit, beans, herbs, everything that comes from a plant. It is recommended to eat at least 30 different types of plants a week to make sure your microbiom is healthy. The last tip is fermented foods. These are the best treats for a healthy gut. It is good to mention that your microbiom does not need fermented foods to survive, but your gut will love you if you try to eat them more.

Try not to eat too much sugar. Eating more than the recommended amount may cause weight gain, acne and increased chances of heart disease, cancer and getting depression. The average woman should not consume more than 25 grams a day and the average man 36 grams a day. Please do not live by this principle. If you eat 40 grams of sugar one day, it will not kill you, and it won't make you any less perfect or disciplined. But try to swap out a big handful of candy, for a few pieces of candy with some veggies, fruit and nuts on the side. I personally prefer snacking on fruits and vegetables because my body feels better after eating them and I find them more tasty. You can pair vegetables with some humus or a yogurt and herb dip. 

Don't over or under eat. The easiest way to start with this is to eat fulfilling meals. Eat meals that keep you full by eating veggies, fiber and protein. Eat at least 3 meals a day and maybe a few small snacks.(I personally eat 1 or 2 depending on the day). If you have trouble with overeating, you could try asking yourself the question "Why am I eating this?" If the reason is not because you are hungry, you need to try and let it go. Sometimes you are allowed to listen to your craving, especially if you have learned to keep a balance with it. But if the foods are very rich in sugars or fat, I would use the method stated above and try adding things to balance the meal out and that fuels your body enough to not want to snack more. If you tend to under-eat, I would recommend eating a lot of small portions throughout the day. Although I would normally recommend 3 filling meals a day, I would change that to about 6 smaller balanced meals. Even though these are smaller meals, please try to get your daily nutrients. They are what keep you running. So try to make sure that most meals involve fiber, veggies or fruit, a bit of protein, carbohydrates and fats.

ℍ𝕪𝕘𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕖/ 𝕃𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕤

💭 Skincare - I am not going to say too much about skincare because it is clearly not my strong suit, since I still struggle with acne a LOT. But i recently found out my pores get clogged very easily and a lot (once again it will suprise you) of skincare products have pore clogging ingredients. i use this tool to check on pore clogging ingredients and with the help of that have now created a new skincare routine. I have been using it for less than a week, but I think my skin has already improved a lot (but i could also be delusional). If I find out th methods and research I've done is working now, I will tell you more about it. Until then there are a few tips I would recommend.. Invest in sunscreen. It will help against hyperpigmentation and will minimize signs of aging in the long term. Don't make your routine too complicated. Try to find a simple cleanser, moisturizer and sunscreen. You don't need much more because your skin can do most of the hydration and cleaning itself. If you have skin issues, I would recommend trying 1 toner or serum with an ingredient (do your research) against that. Most of the time, you won't need more. If you do, you can always add from there. 

If you have any skin issues that won't go away after all that you can talk to your GP, and they could prescribe you something. This is what I am considering, if what I am trying now won't work.

💭 Haircare - The most important information I will give to you is to find out your hair type. Once you've gained this knowledge, you can search for products that match your hair type. Once again, if you want a more elaborate guide on how to find out your hair type and what products will work for you, let me know!I would also really recommend using hair oil! You can either use a single oil, buy a premixed one or mix a few yourself. Different oils also serve different purposes. The most popular ones are:

Coconut oil - For repairing damaged hair.

Avocado oil - For shinier hair.

Rosemary oil - For hair growth.

Tea Tree Oil: For treating dandruff. 

I heat the oil up by putting a small bowl with the oil I will use in a bigger bowl with hot water.I put the oil on my scalp a few hours before showering and massage it in for at least 5 minutes. I would strongly recommend watching a Indian tutorial, because I stole all my methods from them. Try to invest in a microfiber towel to dry your hair. A normal towel can damage your hair and makes it less soft (in my experience). The last general tip I have is to wear a protective hairstyle to bed. Either braid it or put it up in a bun. This way, you will wake up with way better hair. An alternative to this is using a silk bonnet. That will keep your hair so soft and pretty. 

💭 Fashion - I feel my best and most comfortable when I feel pretty. In order to accomplish the style you want and look pretty, you can follow these 4 steps: 

Clean out your closet. Sell or donate clothes that you don't like or wear. While doing this, try to look for reasons why you don't like that piece of clothing. That way, you learn to understand your preferences better. 

Learn about your body type and what looks good on you. Of course, you don' t have to limit yourself to only wearing the things recommended, but it is a very easy guideline to help your outfits feel more balanced. While keeping this in mind, you can start playing around with fitting and find combinations that also look good on you, but it is important to understand what different sleeve types and lengts do to your proportions so that it's easier to adjust an outfit to your preference.

Make a pinterest board! Make a pinterest board dedicated to style and make sure to add at least 30 pins. Then you can look for similarities between the pictures you've saved. Please for the love of god, don't follow fast fashion brands. Of course, it's good to get inspired by trends, but it's so incredibly wasteful to buy and trow away clothing time and time again and its also not good for your wallet. 

The last step is to make a list of the things you need to add to your closet. You DON'T have to buy an entirely new warderobe. Look at the things you already have in your closet and write down a list of items you can add in order to increase those items. Try to start out with jewelry and a pair of shoes in your style and look for a few tops, dresses and bottoms. But the accessories are truly the most important, so try to invest in some good quality accessories, because they can make or break an outfit.

A good tip to help you not overconsume is to only buy something when you can style it in 3 ways for 3 different occasions. This way you make sure that you will actually use it!

💭 Carry yourself like a god(ess) - Your posture is so so so important! Is doesn't only influence how other see you, but also how you see yoursel (and if you've read my part about sitting, you've read that's also important for good health).

Your body language reflects what you think, but the opposite is also true. By standing in a powerpose you will start feeling more confident.

Make sure your spine holds its natural curve, your shoulders are relaxed end rolled back. When standing put your feet apart a little, so you stand stronger.

A good pose to practice standing confidently is the so called "superwoman pose". Put your feet apart, look straight forward, ball your fists and putt them on your hips. Standing like this for even 2 minutes will improve your confidence. I do this when I feel really stressed about a presentation or test (not in the middle of the classroom ofcourse, I will either do it in the bathroom, before coming to school or during the break).

ℍ𝕒𝕓𝕚𝕥𝕤

💭 Drinking water -The average woman should consume about 2.7 liters of water a day and the average man 3.7 liters. About 20% of this should come from your food. So, the average woman should drink about 2.16 liters of water and the average man about 2.96 liters of water. It is important to drink your water in order to stay healthy, get rid of waste in your body and keep your temperature normal.

💭 Hobbies - Having a hobby that we enjoy brings us joy and enriches our lives. It helps us learn new skills, de-stresses us, gives you new perspectives, prevents wasting time and learns you patience. A hobby can be found everywhere. It can be collecting something; a sport, singing, reading, programming, knitting, sewing, playing an instrument, baking, cooking and even making tea.

💭 Meditation -  One of the keys to having a happy, calm and balanced life is meditation. Meditation reduces stress, promotes your mental health, helps with learning, kindness and forgiveness, lengthens your attention span (I, for a fact, know most people need this with people's social media use nowadays.) It helps with being self-aware and there have been studies that showed that it has some impact on your physical health (we don't know on which level yet) and that it can prevent age related memory loss. You can start out with breathing exercises and work your way up to guided meditation and, if you are ready for it, meditate regularly. Don't give up, it will take some time to really get into and to get the results you want.

💭 Morning routine - A good morning routine sets you up for a good day. It helps you with getting in the right mindset and with starting the day in a relaxed way. Make sure you get your needed sleep hours. This will be different for everyone. But for teenagers, the average is between 8 and 10 hours and for adults, 8 hours is recommended. It is also good to note that women tend to multitask more during the day and, averagely speaking, need about 20 minutes more sleep than men. I would recommend a set time for your alarm every day. By doing this you will get into a good rhythm which will help you fall asleep, and you know for sure you are getting your needed hours. Everyone likes different things in their morning. Some things that are an absolute staple to me are, and I can't start off my day on a good note without them: Drinking some water immediately after waking up (helps me with waking up), meditating, journaling for 5 minutes, making my bed, doing skincare and having a nourishing breakfast. Chose the things that you find important. If you struggle with doing everything on bad days, you could always make a routine for good days, okay days and bad days. When you wake up, you get to choose which one you will do. This might make it less overwhelming. 

💭 Night routine - Most things have already been said when I talked about morning routines. My night routine is easier than my morning routine, because at the end of the day I have difficulty winding down, and a plan makes it less overwhelming to start. My staples for my night routine are: making sure my room is clean, packing my bag for next day (if needed), my journal for 5 minutes, brushing teeth and skincare. If I don't feel like sleeping yet, I will read in my bed or do a very calming yoga session. 

💭 Organize - I, for one, have quite some difficulty with staying organized. But while speaking with my coach at school he reminded me of the importance of organization. Even if you are not aware of it, the things you still need to do, take up a lot of space in your head. It's way more convenient to just write it in your agenda immediately, make a planner with everything you need to do, make a list of everything that bothers you. You need to stop wasting energy on being de-organized. This will also ensure that you don't miss out on anything. This also goes for your living/ work space. A cluttered workspace will clutter your mind!

𝕋𝕚𝕡𝕤

Some small tips I want to give you before ending this post. <3

💭 Phone/ social media - In order for you to have the best day and sleep, you should not use ur phone for a hour after waking up or before going to sleep. In general, you should minimize your use of social media. I would really recommend listening to this great Ted talk about the worth of a social media app. Because of this Ted talk I realized how much time I was wasting on social media. With all of that time, I can do so much, learn so much, go on so many adventures. Your phone is also really addictive, and you should take that addiction seriously. Phone addiction is a dopamine addiction, because of this. Because life will seem boring. If you want to feel alive and happy, don't overuse your phone and make clear boundaries with yourself. Try to live in the moment, not on your phone. 

💭 Sustainable energy -  I will make a more detailed post about this, because it is one of the things that helped me most. But the concept is very simple: learn to differentiate the things that give you energy and take your energy. And use that as a guide to help you fill your day. Studying is something that takes me a lot of energy. When I feel like my energy is getting low, I take a break after finishing the next task and go meditate or take a walk. This way you can keep thriving the entire day!

💭 Journaling - I would recommend journaling to anyone. There will always be a type of journal that suits you, so please look into it!I personally have 3 journals, I use one for journaling exercises, one for my morning & evening checkups and one is my coomonplace journal. A commonplace journal is a journal in which you write down anything that you learn. It helps you with remembering, but it's also easy to look things back up! 

English isn't my first language, so if there are any mistakes, please correct me. Although I am not very happy with how this post turned out out, I will still post it because I worked really hard on this. I hope my writing and presentation will improve next post. Lots of love and kisses! 💗

Be sure to like comment and reblog!

If you like my content, consider buying me a book. <3

Love Pearl 🐚

[the-final-sif]

Well, it's for a school research paper and we have to gather data on how social media affects stress and people's mental health.

Thank you for answering my dumbass questions even though it probably seems stupid, i really appreciate it

First off, asking for help on finding sources is not stupid/dumbass, it's the opposite. Smart people ask for help when they don't know what they're doing.

Second, since you said school and not uni, I'm going to assume you're at high school level roughly and not uni/college. If so, then google scholar is going to be a fine starting point for you to find sources. It's generally user friendly and going to provide decently quality for what you need.

Unlike main google, it's been untouched by the AI nonsense and functions mostly like it did 5 years ago. It's also handy because it will often provide free copies of papers when it can find one. It should help you get some good research papers as sources that you can use as citations, and it'll let you save articles/handles citations for you.

Here's a quick guide for what you need to know to use google scholar!

When searching, put in keywords, NOT questions.

For reasons unclear to me, search engines and humans being weird has trained people to type in queries to search engines like questions. This is bad!!! It will get you worse results!! You want to instead remove any unnecessary words and focus in on giving the computer the most unique keywords to match you with what you actually want. For example:

BAD: how does social media affect stress and mental health?

BETTER: social media stress effect mental health

BEST: social media mental health

You really want to par down your keywords as much as possible, limiting connector or filler unless you absolutely need it. The more specific words you use (ie using "depression" rather than the more general "mental health") the more specific your results. Focus on practicing that and you'll do excellent.

With that out of the way, for actual google scholar use:

Right here, we have a very important feature, the free copy. If google can pull up a free public copy of a paper, it will! Always use those when possible.

Always check the date on the research you're pulling! For a topic like social media, I would be wary of pulling any source that's 5 years or older, since it's an evolving landscape! For other topics, the rules vary a lot depending on the topic and quality of research available.

Next up, saving & citation. The save button lets you save an article for later. You can stick it on a particular list. Handy for keeping track of sources. The cite button generates citations for you, in most of the common styles. Saves you having to mess with making them yourself.

Finally! Further research! When you click down here, you can see articles that have cited this paper and related articles. Both are quite handy for exploring a particular topic further as you look for research that builds on what you've found. Particularly when the area you're looking at is niche or highly specific. Also a great way to find systematic reviews of data that are sometimes a bit stubborn about showing up in research results.

Hopefully all of that is helpful, best of luck on your paper anon!

[a-d-nox]

web of wyrd: the solar plexus chakra

the numbers we are focusing on today are based on the yellow bubbled number in the center of the web - we multiple it by two to equal your emotional number - ex: as you see above and in previous charts, my energetic/physical (because for this chakra they will always be the same) number is 6. so to get the emotional number i have to multiple by two: 6 * 2 → 12. 12 is my emotional number for the solar plexus number.

but what does this number mean?

the chakra set we are examining is the solar plexus (manipura); it governs the navel to ribs, abdominal organs, digestive system, and nervous system. it indicates personality, leadership qualities, how to achieve goals, social status, success, ability to get things done, ego, and willpower.

so let's talk about some examples:

6 - the lovers

physically 6s are very much like their ancestors/parents. they tend to look just like someone from their family. biblically, eve was made from the rib of adam. that is much like this. the two biblically figures are depicted in the the card's image and the chakra represents the ribs to i felt it was ironic. they tend to have a nervous tummy - their anxieties can live in their stomach and reap havoc on their digestive system. a common health concern for this placement tends to be diabetes.

energetically 6s are very even keel. they are the balancing energy in any connection. they keep things evened out in all their connections - they don't seek out leadership they seek equality. they can be very chameleon like in a connection to the point where no one knows the true them. they can play the long game in any situation if they have positive energy where this chakra is concerned because they wouldn't be seeking instant gratification. these people are often well liked in a community - they are likely to be rather successful as well.

6s emotionally are can struggle with codependency if they don't know how to be respectful and communicate effectively with those around them. often they can let their emotions effect how the world sees them - they can get mood descriptors from those around them instead of physical, accomplishment based, or other descriptors. their personality can be mood governed. some times their ego can get in the way too as they can have an overblown senses of self or low self-esteem.

12 - the hanged man

12s physically are very lean and tend to appear taller than they actually are (it is all a matter of perception). it could seem like their chest is very full in the rib cage area because they tend to breathe via the lungs instead of through the diaphragm. they could have very taunt and toned midsections as well. they show be careful about how they physically position themselves this lifetime because the might be putting unnecessary stress on their abdominal organs without knowing that they are.

energetically 12s aren't the people that give off leadership energy instead they seem to be examples for what not to do for those around them. it tends to look like these people are struggling in life and as though they are annoyed about their circumstances. they best achieve their goals when they slow down and take stock of everything that is happening around them. life is not as bad as they assume it to be. they are unlikely to be seen as anyone famous or popular in this lifetime - if they do make a name for themselves, it tends to be one of martyrdom.

emotionally 12s are easily annoyed by life. it is a rare day when they seem peaceful; their peace can seem like a very celestial or other worldly thing if it is to occur. it could seem like a dream or what have you. they do have a unique ability to pretend and fake their emotions in a very convincing way that has everyone believing they are being honest and real. their ego tend to be be one in which they are have a lot of "woe is me" energy and as if they are always the victim in a situation.

22 - the fool

22s physically are very trim they have a toned abandon usually because of the exercise they do. they appear very healthy though they often have unknown issues internally that cause them many issue down the road. it doesn't tend to show signs - one day they are fine and then the next they are not. they aren't very nervous people - some may say it would be better if they did have a sense of self preservation.

energetically 22s tend to be free spirits - they don't have a leadership bone in their body. they don't mind being pioneers but they don't seek followers and power like many people do because they prefer freedom and not to be held back from exploring the realm. they can best achieve goals they have by having faith in the universe and themselves. they need to trust they they have the support for the universe that they need. they often wander upon opportunities they would have over looked had they not trusted themselves and the universe.

emotionally 22s they could be very hesitant people - often they struggle with trusting themselves as they should. they might be prone to break downs when they have to start over or when the outcome is not what they expected. they have to learn to trust their intuition. this is the one the few energies that i don't find has ego issues.

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[drdemonprince]

Just chiming in to agree that that person is not a selfish bitch. I'm also really put off by moralistic performances of emotion, and I know in my case it's because it was part of a pattern of abusive behaviour that my mother did.

Anytime you expressed to her that there was a problem with her behaviour, she seemed to genuinely believe that if she put enough effort into weeping and crying on her children's shoulders, and verbally denigrating herself for being an inherently bad an immoral person, and stressing so much that she developed physical illnesses from it, then she could follow that up by asking for forgiveness - as if it would be cruel for us to continue her suffering by denying her that forgiveness. Except that to her, "forgiveness" meant "it's all swept under the rug, I have Atoned By Suffering Guilt, so now it doesn't matter and I can keep doing it again." (I really wonder how much the religious background of her parents' generation came into the formation of this worldview.) And at the same time, she refuses to read news that's "too upsetting" and never engages with literature or media about dark themes "because there's enough of that in real life."

It might be cynical of me to read this pattern into the way people talk online about genocide. But I keep seeing parallels. My perspective is that a) if you're not regulating your emotions well enough to function, then you have less capacity to offer practical help; and b) people who are actually trying to survive genocide want unnecessary human suffering to END, so you're not aligning yourself with that hope by engaging in rumination etc that compounds suffering with not practical benefit to anyone.

But also, watching my mother's behaviour has led me to add perspective c) that a lot of people (in Christian cultures?) haven't developed enough understanding of the complexity of the world and how to relate to it, and genuinely believe that an overblown emotionally affected reaction, followed by helplessness and thereby inaction, is the only possible way for them to respond when they're confronted with upsetting information that demands action from them. Being raised to think in a black-and-white "good vs evil" dichotomy, and thinking about people as "either morally good or morally bad" rather than thinking about people as neutral and behaviours as either ethically helpful or harmful... it doesn't give them a conceptual framework to integrate upsetting information and then carry on getting things done, it's like their moral anxiety gets them stuck and that keeps the emotions escalating.

I see people discussing this pattern in the context of religious trauma, and in the context of the cultural construct of "whiteness" - the discovery of something morally bad has to be followed by an extreme emotional reaction that basically amounts to protesting your own innocence and helplessness to deny responsibility for your direct behaviours (in my mother's case) or complicity in a corrupt system (in the case of overwhelmed average people learning about genocide).

Maybe I'm rambling more than I'm analysing here, but the comparison stands out a lot to me and it's troubling to watch.

yo anon no this is gold, thank you for sharing. This is remarkably astute.

I will add the quick caveat that hyperempathic people who are debilitated by their sensitivity exist, of course, and have very real struggles and none of this is intended to denigrate them. In practice, their behavior can have the impact of silencing criticism or distracting from the issue at hand but being wired that way certainly does not doom a person to behaving in a counterproductive, manipulative manner.

This critique is more about performative over the top empathy as a tactic (conscious or not) of offloading responsibility, and as a pseudo-religious ideology that makes predominately white western cultures particularly ill-equipped to deal with the consequences of their global plundering. almost certainly by design. Most moral teachings that we encounter in the west promote this tactic and ideology, and it gets very deeply ingrained in most us if we don't devote a ton of attention to uprooting it.

thanks for this great response.

[worth-this-and-more]

Sarah Griffiths: a character study because people aren't talking about her enough and im so disappointed yall pt.1

[spoilers for legendborn and bloodmarked, read at your own caution ;)]

first and foremost, Sarah Griffiths has been my fav character since like forever and I haven't been able to talk about her very much, sincerely sorry, but nvm this post is for her anyway

she is the third person from legendborn that bree met after nick and sel I hope this is some kind of foreshadowing because I want more sar content but okay I'm just grasping fallen marbles atp lool and I feel like a lot of people overlook her. which is understandable because she didn't have a lot of screentime but her time was really important too, so here's my rant about my fav sar moments + character study + fangirling

her introduction was quite normal and formal, and even i could not imagine her fighting the shadowborns, understandably so because this "pixie-like girl in a flowy dress" doesn't really seem fierce enough, or does she??

sar definitely surprised me specifically in this scene:

while everyone is heavily confused but still alert on their jobs, sar made sure to place bree to safety, without giving any unnecessary lecture about "oh page matthews tf were you thinking why arent you back to the lodge??" she really knows how to keep her cool, and her action and reaction are almost similar to what I expect wlliam or greer would do

next fav sar moment was when she defended bree from sel at the infirmary:

sel is right in his place to suspect bree, it's his job to see the safety of the order, and he is angry af. we all know our merlin boy is scary af when angry because as russ so eloquently stated "you're never sure if it's safe to talk shit about him behind his back" and that's true anyway, but like sar really defended bree even when she did not know her, because she trusted nick's judgment and has already accepted bree as their own.

i feel like this is a very important factor in all the characters, especially sar, as I'll discuss further

next, this one:

she noticed bree was shaken from this encounter, because for her bree is a onceborn who had the unfortunate luck of experiencing a shadowborn attack and see so many injuries real time, while being attacked by an uchel as well. she offered to drive her home and walked her to her dorm, a girl's girl through and through. ik it seems like the barest minimum but I will still appreciate it because let's be real, everybody was stressed, who else would've offered to take bree back to her dorm safely?? nick is injured, william is busy, sel is busy trynna kill her, evan is injured, and the others are still processing the day. this small gesture seems insignificant but really shows sar's mindfulness and makes me fall for her harder and harder each time

this car ride is where we find out that she is a victim of racism as well:

which creates multiple questions. she definitely knows tor is racist, and I wont be surprised if tor has herself made racist remarks on sar as well but just keeps it quiet in front of her?? sar must definitely hear tor's remarks about others, especially bree. she stays because she loves tor, as we've seen here:

but there's definitely some kind of resentment towards tor that develops further in the story. how did she end up with tor anyway?? like after tor's "rebellious phase", is she really just in love and trying desperately to ignore all the red flags or is there some other story??

also her devotion to the order?? i love it. the order ain't shit, we know that, but the definite loyalty that sar has towards the order, it doesn't seem like much but I admire that grit so much. she was raised for service, but she chose to stay and serve even knowing all the risks. bree is the first of her family, but sar definitely has her own stories to be known.

again, my fav sar moment:

no explanation needed lmaoo sel doubted his own demon side for a sec haha

sar keeps tor in check around bree, because she knows tor hates bree's guts, and as we see here:

sar definitely calls the shots. im pretty sure that everytime tor finds something to bitch about, sar gives her the deadliest side eye ever because the kindest ones are the deadliest ones always. and whenever bree calls tor out for her behavior tor goes crying to her gf because sar is the only one who tolerates her lool

and finally, the most precious sar moment in legendborn:

everyone is in love with sel because he was the first one to kneel for bree, but we are kinda forgetting that sar was the second one to kneel. she has already accepted bree as a part of legendborn, and did not hesitate to pledge her loyalty to bree. this is the most iconic sar moment I love because she is loyal to the order, to bree, and to her service.

this is what i mean when i say I love sar, there is so much story behind this one girl and I really really wanna know her. i hope she has more moments in oathbound because her loyalty is fierce and I'm pretty sure she will join alice and william too if this gang forms

bloodmarked will be discussed in pt.2 hehe I think this much is enough for today lool

[theflyindutchwoman]

I thought torturing you would be more fun, and getting your mind off of whatever's been bothering you. But I should know better than trying to get into your personal business. Good night. Ashley and I, uh, broke up. Well, I guess technically, she broke up with me. I'm sorry. Thanks. Look, and just so you know, I-I did appreciate your whole radio gag… a little. It took my mind off things. Well, good.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 5.06 - The Reckoning

In some ways, this scene is a nice follow-up from the previous scene in the parking lot, after their 'first' kiss. Things are still a bit awkward between them but they're trying to push forward. Only, this time, Tim admits what's on his mind - or at least, parts of it - instead of pretending. This feels like a step forward, especially after Lucy stayed at Tim's bedside.

For all their progress, it's clear from the beginning that they're not quite back to their usual dynamic and bantering. Yet. Lucy is hesitant at first, almost shy, as she apologises to Tim for getting into his personal business, worried that she may have overstepped… Something she never really did before. And yet… They still crave that proximity, long for the other. When she gives him back his radio, he goes to grab it but doesn't take it either. They both hold onto it, trying to maintain that contact with the other. It's not quite like their (unnecessary long) handshake, but it does have a similar vibe. They remain a bit off-balance, not quite knowing where their boundaries are now. Even her little comment about torturing him not being as fun hints at this.

But that doesn't mean he didn't enjoy her little scavenger hunt. In the end, it worked exactly the way she envisaged. It's only when she goes to leave, that he actually opens up. He may have been reluctant at first, but he doesn't want to sever their connection at all. Most importantly, he doesn't want her to think she did anything wrong or upset him… He doesn't want her to stop trying. Because it shows how much she cares. She was simply trying to reach out to him and cheer him up, and deep down, he was touched by her attention and intention… In light of his breakup with Ashley, it matters even more. So he promptly confesses to make her stay, before correcting himself and admitting that Ash was the one who ended their relationship. And there's a bit of irony here : all this time, he didn't want to talk about this, only for him to practically treat the breakup as an afterthought. He quickly changes the topic and is more focused on making sure Lucy knows how much he appreciated her gesture. And it was a genuinely sweet gesture. With some romantic connotations. But mostly, it was everything Tim needed. Ashley broke up with him after showing one last time that she never truly knew the real him whereas Lucy orchestrated this treasure hunt to let him know how well she knows him. This just highlighted the difference between them even more… and the contrast in their message : Ashley couldn't accept who he was in the end while Lucy celebrated what makes him him. It was her way of saying that she sees him. All of him. She looks so pleased with herself when he concedes that he enjoyed the whole game… Before turning a bit smug, pursing her lips, glad that she succeeded. Her little 'good' is so sweet.

The way the camera actually stresses how far apart they're standing from one another, as if to symbolise the gap they still need to bridge is on point. Still… even that distance can't prevent them from having a moment. They can't tear their eyes off each other. The longing… The lingering looks… Judging by their body language, it seems like they were both about to say something more, trying to prolong this moment a bit longer. That is, until Chris comes within sight, as a reminder that he's still in the picture (since he tends to be forgotten). And that shot of him coming in between them summarise everything. Their last real hurdle.

Lucy inviting Tim to join them for dinner is both hilarious and awkward. And the thing is, she wasn't just being polite, she truly wanted him to come grab a bite with them. She's nowhere near as uncomfortable as the last time they were all in the same place. In her mind, she may not be able to be with Tim, but she still wants to be friends. And friends invite each other for dinner. While Tim is having more and more difficulty with this. Still, inviting the man you have feelings for and almost slept with to come eat with you and your boyfriend is bold… So Tim instantly declining the invitation, a big fake smile in place, is not surprising. Neither is Chris ushering Lucy away. No words needed : this shot depicts the whole story. Especially with Tim turning back to watch Lucy leave. He looks so defeated. The pining… And it definitely shows that the breakup was not the sole thing bothering him. He's not the only one turning back though. So does Lucy… Things are about to come to a head.