#but it does consume some mental energy

[yuseirra]

children

[meo-eiru]

Yan elf 💙

Do they have magic like the food keeps Mc there like hades pomegranate?

Elves can use the energy/magic of nature around them, and while he doesn’t exactly have magic in the way we are used to his body does have some interesting abilities.

Since elves usually live quiet and alone lives without fights their bodies have developed in ways that’d help their, or in some cases, someone else’s survival.

His blood has the ability to heal, you might find it disgusting and refuse to consume it or do it willingly but either way he’ll be feeding it to you at the slightest inconvenience so don’t even think of getting rid of him by getting yourself sick.

His semen on the other hand is quite nutritious. He can’t breastfeed you like a human mother would no matter how much he tries but he does usually use his semen as a substitute. He still feeds you normal food as well but he has that “it’s coming from me so it’s healthier you should just consume it instead :(“ mentality

Lastly his spit while not as powerful as the other two has a slight aphrodisiac effect, he usually uses it to calm you down if you’re throwing “tantrums” or entertain you a bit if you’re feeling “bored”

[honeytonedhottie]

hyper girliness⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

this post is just my take on what girliness is to me and how i incorporate it into my life bcuz its a lifestyle for me. being super feminine and feeling happy and beautiful in that way is how i choose to live and this post is just talking about how i go about that. ofc with anything that u consume. take what resonates with you and leave the rest but i hope you'll enjoy…💬🎀

GIRLY MINDSET ;

i think of very highly of myself, like a princess. i did lots of self concept work to get my self concept to where it is now and i can confidently say that my self concept is just as flawless as i am. because i think so highly of myself, i treat myself accordingly. something that i reinforce in my thoughts is to treat myself like my favorite doll.

what does it mean to treat yourself like your favorite doll? PAMPER yourself, treat urself sweetly and preciously and your body and mind and soul will thank you tenfold. every investment that u put into urself whether its mental or physical will give you the highest ROI then anything else can because its YOU.

IN TOUCH WITH GIRLINESS ;

im rly in touch with my girliness when im practicing self care or doing something creative (like girlblogging for example) to me, femininity is expression and creativity and energy and beauty so anything that resonates with those four words is enriching my own girliness.

pampering and self care time every single day is a MUST

dancing or stretching

most tension for girls at least, is stored in ur hips, so whenever ur doing stretches or when u dance, i like to focus on my hips movements so that then i can release tension and let energy flow. doing so helps me to feel super in touch with my girliness and my femininity in general, so things like belly dancing and yoga.

PAMPERING ;

manis/pedis WEEKLY or every two weeks, u dont have to get them professionally done if u dont want to, but mainly focus on being well kept and well groomed and moisturized.

making sure my hair looks pretty and to my liking

being EXTRA during shower time ; using high quality and sweet smelling products, using body oils and body butters and lotions. taking bubble baths and using fancy bath milks and bubble bath.

GIRLY INCORPORATION ;

you can glamorize even the simplest of tasks by being super girly. here are some examples of incorporating girliness into mundane tasks. girliness is lots of ROMANTICIZATION

studying -> using cute stationary (mine are predominantly pink) decorated notes, cute study playlist (i listen to subliminals) keep an adorable space to study and wear a cute outfit

GIRLY CODE ;

being sweet and gentle with everyone (including urself) is SUCH a girly move and it makes u so pleasant and doll-like. theres no need to be nasty for no reason, cuz thats not hot. so mind ur p's and q's. say thank you, articulate ur feelings and ur thoughts. also, me saying making an effort to be nice is girly code does NOT mean that if someone is coming at u some kind of way that u shouldn't stand up for urself bcuz u absolutely should, but rly emphasize grace.

GIRLY ACCESSORIES ;

bracelets

anklets

purses

head bands

mini-skirts

on an ending note the main keys to girliness from my experience is all about how u treat urself, and that'll translate to how u treat others. and this post can serve as your reminder to pamper and spoil yourself bcuz u deserve it…💬🎀

[myersgirlxxx]

Shadows of the occult 01. Whispers of the other side

Wednesday x fem reader

summary: In the shadowy halls of Nevermore Academy, you navigate the delicate balance between reality and the Other Side. As an occultist with a powerful yet unstable connection to the elements, you learn that the Other Side does not come easily. it demands secrets and sacrifices. Caught in the gaze of the enigmatic Wednesday Addams, you must confront the darkness within before it consumes you.

Warnings: Dark themes, mental health, supernatural elements, intense relationships and mature content.

part 2

part 3

01.

The night at Nevermore was always quiet, but tonight the silence felt heavier. You sat in your usual corner of the library, the one where the lights barely reached, leaving the shadows to twist and breathe. The pages of the book before you were worn, the ancient symbols flickering in the candlelight, but you weren’t reading. Your mind was elsewhere—always elsewhere, on the edge of something far darker than the school’s gothic halls.

You had learned early on to embrace solitude. The other students at Nevermore didn’t know who you truly were, and that was how you preferred it. Your life was more intertwined with the Other Side than the real world, and you had grown used to the weight of that secret pressing against your skin, even if it made you feel less human, less here.

The faintest creak of the floor broke the silence, pulling you back to the present. You didn’t need to look up to know who it was. Wednesday Addams had a way of moving that felt both calculated and inevitable, as if she were a shadow herself, always lingering just out of reach until she decided to strike.

• “You’re always here,” she said, her voice cutting through the quiet like a knife.

You didn’t respond right away, turning the page of your book instead. But you could feel her eyes on you, sharp and unblinking. Wednesday had been watching you for weeks now, though you couldn’t say why. Maybe she sensed that you weren’t like the others. That something about you wasn’t…right.

• “And you’re always watching,” you replied finally, glancing up to meet her gaze.

Wednesday didn’t flinch. Her expression was unreadable, but there was something in her eyes—an intensity, a curiosity that made her more dangerous than most. She stepped closer, her hands clasped behind her back, her black braids hanging like dark threads down her shoulders.

• “You don’t belong here,” she said matter-of-factly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Not entirely.”

You raised an eyebrow, but didn’t deny it. It was too soon for that, and you weren’t ready to let her in, not yet.

• “Neither do you,” you replied, your voice low but steady.

Her lips twitched—barely—but it was the closest thing to a smile you had seen from her. She tilted her head slightly, watching you with the same unsettling calm she always carried, like she was waiting for you to crack.

• “You’re different,” she said. “And I want to know why.”

You felt a chill creep down your spine, not from her words, but from the way she said them. It was as if she already knew the answer, or at least pieces of it, and she was simply waiting for you to confirm it.

• “Curiosity can be dangerous, Wednesday,” you said softly, closing the book in front of you. “Especially here.”

She stepped even closer, until the shadows between you seemed to pull tighter, and her gaze bore into yours, unblinking.

• “Danger doesn’t bother me,” she replied, her voice colder now. “But secrets do.”

For a long moment, the two of you just stared at each other, the tension thick in the air. You could feel the familiar pull of the Other Side just beneath your skin, its dark energy thrumming in the back of your mind, but you forced it down. She couldn’t know—not yet.

• “Some things are better left undiscovered,” you said, standing and gathering your things, trying to keep your voice calm, controlled.

Without waiting for her response, you brushed past her, feeling the weight of her gaze follow you as you slipped into the shadows of the library. The air felt charged, alive with the echoes of your unspoken secrets, and you could sense the pull of the Other Side thrumming just beneath your skin.

As you reached the exit, a chill swept through the corridor, sending a shiver down your spine. You paused, glancing back over your shoulder. Wednesday stood unmoving, her dark silhouette framed by the flickering candlelight, her expression a mask of calm determination.

“You can run, but you can’t hide,” she called out, her voice low but steady, a haunting promise that sent a thrill of apprehension through you.

You turned away, your heart racing, the weight of her words echoing in your mind. You knew she wouldn’t give up easily; curiosity was one of her defining traits, and it was only a matter of time before she unraveled the truth.

As you stepped into the cool night air, the darkness of the outside world enveloped you. The stars twinkled overhead, but all you could feel was the thrum of the Other Side, the whispers of the elements brushing against your consciousness. They were restless, longing for release, and the tension within you grew as you fought to keep them at bay.

You walked briskly, the shadows flickering at your heels, each step pulling you deeper into the enigma of your own existence. What had started as a simple encounter with Wednesday had turned into something much more complex—a dangerous game of secrets and truths that would soon threaten to unravel everything you had fought to keep hidden.

“This isn’t over, not by a long shot,” you muttered to yourself, determination hardening your resolve. You had to be ready for whatever Wednesday would uncover next. The balance between your two worlds was delicate, and any misstep could send you spiraling into the chaos of the Other Side.

As you moved further away from the academy, the night closed around you, and the whispers grew louder, calling you back. It was a siren song that promised power and knowledge but came with a cost. You would have to confront your own shadows before facing Wednesday again, and you weren’t sure you were ready for that.

But one thing was certain: she was a puzzle you couldn’t ignore, and the threads of your fate were beginning to intertwine in ways you hadn’t anticipated. This was just the beginning.

[celestialtarot11]

Moon in the 12h

Hey friends! Welcome back to another post focusing on the moon in the 12h! 🤍 just to spread some awareness on this placement. There’s a lot of great posts shedding light on this placement already ✉️ hoping to expand more on this post in the future in combination with esoteric astrology 👀 feel free to like comment & reblog! divider creds: @fairytopea

Natives with moon in the 12h often are left feeling excluded. Its not that they hate what is around them necessarily, but rather its what they wish they had that isn't in front of them. It often stems from family issues.

They want that safe happy family everyone else seems to have. Some natives may even look at other family through rosed colored glasses, projecting their fantasies, missing the idea that other families can struggle too.

But to 12h natives, its not just a fantasy. Its their inner child longing to be safe, to be held.

Moon in the 12h natives often grow up to understand what happens around them externally is essentially a product of their behavioral patterns.

Moon 12h aspects (square, opposition, conjunction)

Moon-saturn aspects often experience neglect, isolation during their hardest times by biological family and what they consider friends. The native clings to what sabotages them over and over, until they withdraw completely. Either that—or life has torn apart their relationships to show them they cant hold onto what is falling apart. It gives them no control to show them what they can control. And that is their ego, how they treat themselves. Their perspective, habits, etc.

Moon-pluto can result in the native feeling confused as to what their desires are. What their true nature is. They’re wrapped up in selling a persona someone else liked, in order to be validated. They get lost in fueling others so much they forget themselves. They can act as a, “pick me up,” easily. But when it comes to helping themselves the native may cope with unhealthy mechanisms. The native can experience views of self victimization, learned helplessness and obsessive tendencies towards others.

Moon-pluto aspects often experience turbulence regarding the mother. The mother could have been absent for some part of their life—or a female figure that was considered a guardian to the native, abandoned them. That female figure then became manipulative, trying to take advantage of the native’s emotions. This mother or guardian figure abandoned the native in times of need, and also forced the native to take responsibility that was never theirs to begin with.

Both saturn & pluto here force the native to grow up faster than necessary.

Regarding the father figure for moon-saturn aspects, or a male guardian to the native, the figure was cold. Demanding, harsh, and inflexible. The figure could have enforced strict rules to not allow the native to socialize—often pinning their fears onto the native. It’s very possible the father figure engaged in self sabotage in front of the native openly.

Moon-neptune aspects get consumed by energy completely. They become one with the energy in the room. Therefore if surrounded by toxicity, and negative energies the native can fall sick because of it (mentally, and physically speaking.)

These natives are the type to daydream about having the perfect family to feel safe in their heads. They block everything out that hurts them, and then eventually takes their feelings out on themselves. These natives possibly struggled with being seen as “less than,” in the family. Misogynistic parents or friends, parents or friends who belittle them, victimize themselves and yet expect the native to grow up—all whilst keeping the native “stuck” in a naive mindset.

Harsh expectations in their environment to be perfect all the time. Mental health? Basically does not exist in this environment. Same can be said for moon-saturn and pluto aspects.

Moon-mars aspect dealt with verbally aggressive environments, perhaps physical too. There is always someone trying to be “better,” than the native, or showcase their skills to seem higher than the native. Comparison, competition and jealousy often were in the household. Its very likely this came from a mother or female figure, and father figure/male figure as well.

The native dealt with roughhousing and learned to develop a sharp tongue to keep themselves safe. As a result they can be anxious, defensive as a way to protect their emotions. They’d rather keep their walls up as a defense than to let others in, because when the people closest to them saw them hurt, they were met with aggression.

Moon-mars native can have a hard time regulating their emotions, and have had the people around them be so focused on the “material realm,” like money, cars, etc, to the point of neglecting their emotional health.

When moon in 12h heals…

They learn to accept their emotions for what is. Are they actually being needy, clingy, “emotional,” or human? Slowly, they unravel the narratives that were forced onto them since a young age and discover their emotions aren’t the enemy.

It’s the harmful narratives and perspective around emotions that is the enemy.

Moon in the 12h can also begin to gain perspective as to why everyone is the way they are—generally, no human is completely sane. We are all traumatized in one way or another. But they know now this isn’t an excuse for mistreatment.

Extra

Paid readings 🤍

[theomnicode]

Saitama and depression; how OPM explores mental health

(TW: Depression, Suicide)

Many readers have more than likely noticed that Saitama seems like a pretty depressed individual, however it is never directly stated besides the above Saitama introspection where he acknowledges it and promptly puts it out of his mind.

This topic came to my mind after seeing this particular video about 8 oddly specific symptoms of depression by Dr. Scott Eilers that are not often talked about. We're going to talk about them and then some. Take note that I'm not a doctor or mental health specialist, I'm just writing meta so that's my disclaimer. :p

We'll start from the beginning and with the heaviest topic of em all related to depression and see how One Punch Man explores this particular mental health issue and move on from there.

Warning, long post ahead.

The most obvious sign of major depression is well, suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideation that Saitama exhibits as early as chapter 2. He never denies wanting to die by Crablante's hand.

Saitama also heavily relates to the guy who wanted to jump from rooftop while he was eating sushi and bluntly talks to him to pull himself up his bootstraps essentially as he did on his own, interpreting that sounding fake and sweetalking would not get through to the guy. (Salmon, Vol 7 extra)

Other signs pointing towards depression would be low energy, lack of motivation, self-isolation, hobbies that are low-energy consuming but stimulating like gaming, manga, watching tv and such, all of which Saitama exhibits... but another common depression symptom is Anhedonia.

"A diverse array of deficits in hedonic function, including reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure, particularly from previously enjoyable activities."

The doctor in the video describes Achievement anesthesia by the inability to feel positive emotions from achievements. Despite Saitama saving plenty people, he only feels a lack of accomplishment and probably frustration from feelings of uselessness. He used to take joy and satisfaction from helping people out in the past (Brushing up, vol2 extra), but the same and even vastly stronger merits now only serve to highlight how little he feels about them now.

A great contrast.

What was once a great victory, is now just yet another tuesday for Saitama. (One of my fave panels)

Even worse, he does not get brownie points for being a good, upstanding citizen. He gets no money and rarely appreciation for the good he does and that just accumulates his depression when his neighborhood emptied. And with his power, he also gets to clean up the mess because he has the power and it's the right thing to do, be it from picking up litter to saving little kids from getting kidnapped (What can't Be Bought, Vol 5 Extra). But such also breeds jealousy when everyone else reap the rewards, reap the fame and the fans and the good reputation.

The stress of trying to be a good person with moral integrity in a bad world is a heavy load, which can lead to depression, lack of motivation and things like compassion fatigue. The more he tries to find something worthy of doing, the more he invests in it, the more he keeps getting disappointed by the lackluster feeling and reception he gets.

Saitama beats himself up for moral failures, which is a contributing factor for his depression, such as when he was in the tournament and monsters were running amok, despite not having no prior knowledge of monsters around the area. The complete lack of explicit improvement on things he wants to do however, is the most sore point. He didn't learn a thing in the tournament and just felt like he was wasting time, conditioning him to think that self-improvement is just a waste of time on itself because he won't learn anything anyway.

Being good at something naturally makes one feel better about themselves and Saitama's low self-esteem and for instance, lack of skill in gaming, creates friction and Angry perfectionism. One especially doesn't want their few fun hobbies to feel like hollow endeavours. Being competitive, one would want to git gud and accomplish growth and getting constantly trashed by one finger keeps driving it home that Saitama is not actually good at this thing either, something that he wants to enjoy doing. Saitama also constantly projects his bad mood and this insecurity by trying to trash talk King, without much success. King is such a good friend though that fortunately the does not seem to mind Saitama getting pissed at being a sore loser. True pro gamer bro.

Lets pray Saitama never finds that mmorpg's have hardcore raids, he would never be able to leave the house again. 😂

-*-

Which brings us to the last point in the video, Addiction to emotion-creating activities.

If Saitama was any less strong willed and less restrained and if he actually had money to spare, he would 100% develop a gambling addiction. Keep this man far, far away from social media too.

However, as soon as something...or someone...breaks through that fugue and creates actual emotion, one can develop an addiction to the thing because our brains want/need that dopamine fix.

Genos just so happened to barge into his very lonely life life and became that someone to create that emotional connection with and Genos provides too when he's taken over cleaning and majority of the cooking and even finances, something that people with depression struggle to accomplish. When Saitama cooks, it's usually not very difficult dish to prepare either, chop ingredients and toss them into the pan. Saitama also loves food and needs money to feel like he's financially secure, being unemployed, and has little social contacts, so it's like triple-dipping in the dopamine sauce. Nomnom, feelsgoodman.

It's all well and good until shit gets real and your main source of feel-good emotional connection just dies. Oh and it's your fault too cuz you played around. Good job Saitama. That's a deadly amount of guilt and a PTSD as a cherry on top.

Genos' continued existence is essentially applying bandaid to a bleeding head wound that's Saitama's mental health issues.

Ultimately, I do wonder if ripping off the bandaid is why Saitama wants to get back his private space away from Genos, because he subconsciously understands it's not very healthy to be so emotionally dependant and Genos is just as obsessed about him. The allure of social contact and benefits are great, but so too are the detrimental effects, among them complete lack of privacy which is a nightmare for a private introvert like Saitama.

(Yes yes, it's still pretty dang funny, but it's still invasion of privacy)

-*-

Last example of Saitama's depression I want to touch, thanks to @gofancyninjaworld for the input, is Saitama's forgetfulness, a memory disruption if you will.

"Depressed individuals typically show poor memory for positive events, potentiated memory for negative events, and impaired recollection."

It is a running joke that Saitama has difficulty recalling names, which may be entirely normal because he does not really care to remember names for people he's improbable to meet later and emotional connection and repetition helps us memorize things better (such as Genos having to repeat his name upon introduction), however Saitama has also showcased potentially impaired recollection for events that happened just moments prior.

(Again, a great contrast. Show, don't tell, where one shows obvious signs of depression and another...not so obvious, in the same panel, in a humorous way to boot. Masterful way of tackling heavy topics, in my humble opinion.)

Genos worries for his memory in the Majin drama cd 1 and often tries to accomodate for his lapses of memory too, be it long ultimate attack name phrase, marking special sales or whatnot. Saitama forgetting to take out trash and forgetting names is normal, but it may be exacerbated by his depression.

The more telling part is probably the fact that even when his memory is jogged, he still does not remember Flash's name. It's like he never registered the name in the first place, maybe he did not bother because he thought it wasn't important but it does not appear he's trolling here and legitimately does not remember. Though he does remember the nickname he gave for Flash instead, which is funny. He made it up on the spot and it's hilarious, so it stuck.

The less emotional connection one has to things, the less likely we are to remember those things, such as the monsters Saitama kills are blurred together because he feels no self-satisfaction from killing said monsters and protecting people.

In the sense that memory block can also be a trauma response, ONE makes Saitama's complete lack of recall of the ominous future a running joke in classic ONE fashion. It's either that or time shenanigans. Or both, both is good.

Last but not least, Saitama also shows that he recalls little to no appreciation from helping people, despite the rare occasion where he receives gratitude from directly intervening and he definitely remembers the more negative events better, such as when he complained about going unnoticed and not having fans. (Hobby and work, cpt 15). He can recite the story to Genos when asked but there does not seem to be instance where he mentions such without prompted.

All is not lost in the memory department however, since Saitama shows a potential memory recall improvement in the recent retconnect chapter Tenninto where he recognises the martial art dudes from the tournament he was in. It might be nothing, as it was retconned too but ONE is definitely keeping it in mind.

It is quite fitting thought that the video talks about how "normal people look like superheroes" because they have the energy and motivation to do daily tasks and OPM is a superhero manga about a person who's the strongest hero but he barely considers himself a hero. ONE has also said in an interview that just living a "normal life" is hard and OPM definitely reflects that sentiment.

-*-

Saitama is slowly getting there though. He seems happier, more confident, more outgoing and a larger array of emotional displays, to the point that some people in the fandom have voiced their complaints about the apathetic hero apparently smiling too often. To that I say, character progression is a thing and a good thing at that.

Saitama even has better gait when he used to slouch and drag his feet that bespeaks of his increasing self-confidence. Less self-doubts + more confidence = more gains.

He was also able to calm down despite losing heavily to King in a fighting game and still feeling very irritated after the fact, but offered his blunt advice to lift weights anyway, which would indicate better emotional regulation. His attention span has also seemingly improved, despite the Knight yapping away for an entire panel. (Worlds I know nothing about, cpt 193). Then even when the entire thing of releasing an epic monster was just as boring monster encounter as the rest of them, he seemingly took it as a learning experience of expanding his world-view instead of complaining his utter boredom. He also recalls the tiny tidbit about Flash's utter lack of finding his way in the underground maze and remembers Blast, his name and thanks him for getting them out of the underground hole.

(Mathing is hard though but this may also be a 4th wall breaking meme because we've never seen Saitama defeat sonic 14 times on screen. Are we being gaslit? lmao)

-*-

Closing thoughts, we've not seen the last of Saitama's mental health journey, far from it. Nor have we adressed that legitimate concern of PTSD in the background and I'm sure it will pop up at some point or another...too much of an opportunity for ONE to just ignore in this master thesis of a manga about issues he feels are important.

Anyways, thank you all for reading this far, it's been a while. :D

[vaspider]

So I need a more adult persons take on this. Is it wrong to ask people to tag gory/graphic images from gaza? I'm not trying to bury my head in the sand. I don't want to block mention of palastine but god these images are triggering the shit out of me and it isn't making me more aware or more empathetic, I'm already angry and heartbroken and praying and donating what I can.

It is never wrong to ask someone to tag something for any reason. I've asked people to tag animals that I have a phobia of, and mentions of Laika (the first animal in space), because Laika was a good girl and she didn't deserve what happened to her. It was cruel and horrible and it upsets me in a way that I recognize is out of scope for the death of a single dog seventy years ago. That person may decline to tag things for whatever reason, and if that's the case, it isn't wrong for you to unfollow them, block them, add their username to a filter list, whatever you need to do in order to curate your online experience. Without talking directly about the topic you brought up, 'cause it's something I don't do, as I've said about ninety squintillion times -- I used to reblog/post pretty disturbing images of human bodies out of a misguided sense of justice. I have been online for a really long time, and a lot of the stuff that was posted as 'necessary education' Back In The Olden Times were images of police and/or mob brutality visited on Black & brown bodies. Out of a sense of white guilt and a feeling that I should be 'bearing witness' rather than turning away, I perpetuated some of those images, until -- very kindly and gently, I think, for the scope of what was happening -- it was pointed out to me that:

it is unkind to subject the people who have been or might be subject to that sort of racialized terror to images of bodies broken by it, and

it is almost invariably the exact opposite of what the families of those people want, and

it does nothing to actually make me a better person or to advance any sort of real justice, and instead

it simply acts as a grotesque sort of terror tourism or war porn for people who can simply turn off their computer or phone screen and go about their lives.

I am really grateful to the person who took the time to gently shake me. They didn't owe me that, and I'm glad they thought I was a worthwhile investment of time and energy.

Whoever is posting images of bodies or gory images of victims from any injustice like that, especially without appropriately tagging the images so that people don't have to engage with that? They may be motivated by the best of intentions, but as long as they are engaging in that sort of casual, continual terror tourism, they're ... not helping.

There was a great article about this back during Ferguson that really flipped a switch in my head about the subject, where it basically said this is just another way that dominant cultures, Americans especially, seem to treat the bodies of people they view as Other as theirs to consume. There are ways to talk about whatever is going on which do not require people to utilize the bodies and blood of the dead as tools of persuasion (or emotional bludgeoning, tbh), as symbols to show how Righteous we are by "not looking away," and at the cost of those who have been or are more directly affected by the images.

Doing that sort of thing isn't a good idea in the first place, and you're not wrong to ask anybody to tag anything, or to disengage from those people if they find themselves unwilling or unable to tag that content so that you can care for your own mental health.

[novlr]

how to write a character dealing with addiction (like drugs, cigarettes etc..)

Writing a character with an addiction is to write about someone who is controlled by that substance. They are chasing that first experience of euphoria, pain relief, excess energy, or relaxation. They are avoiding the emotional and physical crashes of withdrawal. Their behavior to outsiders often appears erratic and illogical. It is a powerful motivator for a character and can drive a plot, be an obstacle, and/or an antagonist. 

How does addiction work?

Addictive substances typically mimic naturally occurring chemicals in the body. They amplify the effects of these chemicals and flood the body. Stimulants will give a person extra, even excessive, amounts of energy, relaxants will relieve tension, and pain relievers will bring about euphoria. Whatever the substance of choice, it counters stress in some form. 

Many people self-medicate for underlying physical or mental conditions. Others take them to fit in with a social group. As a writer, you need to ask yourself a very important question: Why did your character first start taking this substance? That will inform you about why they continue. Are they escaping pain? Quieting anxiety or racing thoughts? Do they need to take it to fit into their social group? What happens when they stop taking it?  

Addiction is an illness. It is a medical condition. Treating it as a matter of willpower is to doom a person to suffer. There are effective medical and psychological therapies that, especially when combined, can provide a way back to health, sobriety, and thriving.

Cravings

The important thing to understand about these substances is that the high always goes away. The emotional payoff of that first use is never achieved again. Each subsequent use has diminished payoffs and the after-effects are worsened. This is because the body is a fantastic accountant and will produce less of the mimicked substance because, hey, there’s an excess here. So your character will crave the substance in order to just feel baseline normal. 

Withdrawal

Don’t underestimate the fear of withdrawal. It is an uncomfortable and sometimes life-threatening set of physical symptoms. 

The degree and nature of the symptoms will vary depending on the substance, the amount usually consumed, and the length of time it’s been used. Caffeine, for example, will trigger headaches. Alcohol withdrawal can include shakes, nausea, seizures, and damage to the brain’s memory and balance systems. Opiate withdrawal can cause anxiety, nausea, muscle aches, and insomnia. Read up on the specifics of the substance your character is using. Be sure to use reputable medical websites. I’ve listed a couple in the resources section. 

People want to avoid withdrawal and will use substances to ease those symptoms, thus feeding the addiction. Again, there are medical interventions that can soften the withdrawal and support the patient through this medical crisis. 

Recovery

People with addictions can sometimes respond well to treatment and have a low risk of relapse. Others are not so fortunate and will bounce in and out of recovery. 

Fear of withdrawal is one reason. Another factor is developmental. The younger a person is when they start taking a substance, the harder it is to stop. This may be due to learned coping mechanisms, changes to the developing brain and body, or a combination of the two. 

How old was your character when they started taking the substance? Who introduced them to it? Was it a parent handing them a beer at age five or a pain pill at age twelve? Was it friends at a high school party? Or did they start in adulthood? This will inform their likelihood of recovery and how hard that path will be for them. 

Struggles to quit, or why does this person keep relapsing?

Withdrawal and cravings are part of the reason it is so hard to stop an addiction. There are medical and psychological therapies that can help. Rehab is a major industry in many countries. There are also several obstacles to overcome. Cost is a factor in places without universal healthcare. Then there is denial. Many people with addictions don’t believe they have a problem. And when they do, they may feel shame if they live in a culture where addiction is seen as a matter of willpower rather than a medical condition. 

How do friends and family, employers, and others in the community treat your character? Does admitting to addiction mean they are admitting to weakness?

Another social factor is that it is hard to stop an addiction if the person doesn’t change their environment. Friends that also use that substance will enable and even encourage them to start using again. Places can be strong behavioral cues. Can an alcoholic walk into a familiar bar and resist ordering a drink? 

It’s also important to remember that substance use is often a coping mechanism for stress. What happens the next time your character encounters a stressful situation? How do they resist reaching for their addictive substance if they haven’t learned other ways of coping? Do they trust or remember in the heat of the moment that they have other options? 

Do your research

Here are a couple of my go-to sites for reading up on addictions and treatments. 

Spirit Lake Wellness is a non-profit dedicated to educating the general public about health and wellness. They have a podcast, booklets, and a YouTube channel that covers a range of topics, including addiction. All information is available for free. I am fortunate to be on their board of directors and reached out to one of the doctors we work with for this article. 

The American Society of Addiction Medicine is another excellent resource for learning more about addiction and treatment. 

written by Kimberley Long-Ewing

[lilacxquartz]

Those Late Summer Nights | Chapter 20

satoru gojo x f!reader x suguru geto

plot: moving to the city from a small town was no easy feat, especially to start teaching as a jujutsu sorcerer.

a/n: part 2, aka the continuation is now in process. warning for newcomers: this is a yandere story with dark (non-con, violence) themes. read on with caution. this story does not romanticise either concept.

masterlist • ao3 • chapter directory • < previous chapter • next chapter >

20. Promise

[3 months later]

You have never been one for goodbyes, but life as it had turned out, had already forced you to do so not once, but twice already.

The first time was voluntary; when you had left your sleepy hometown and the long-haunting corrupt influence far behind. It seemed like such a good decision back then, when you at long last, had obtained that prized referral to work at one of the country’s most prestigious Jujutsu institutions. It almost seemed too good to be true, and maybe that’s because it was, because, just like everything else in your life—all of the highs had to come down—inviting the lows to linger, to fester, to… rot.

The second time wasn’t by your own choice, however, but something far, far worse. If you were being honest, you couldn’t have made sense of your situation if you tried. Forced to flee from Tokyo following an obsession that went too far, the ever-lasting consequences of summer had consumed your life to the point where you were once again left a victim of an unrequited influence out of your control.

You’ve had plenty of time to think about just how exactly it all went wrong, too, and just for a while, you were happy to appoint the self-blame. In a twisted sense, you believed that it was your fault for trying to naively infiltrate a jaded world with such fresh hope. Maybe it was wrong of you to have dreamt of a better life; maybe you should never have tried with Jujutsu to begin with. Perhaps you should have taught the ordinary future generations of today because, it wasn’t like they didn’t matter, too. They were more responsible for future cursed energy than they even knew.

…But then again, how were you supposed to know that you were going to be so entangled between… them?

It wasn’t as though you set out to ruin your own life, after all. It was out of your control from the very second you let your guard down—from the moment that you placed your trust in the two people you shouldn’t have. That couldn’t have been on you, though. Surely not.

You did suppose, however, that in some sort of twisted sense, that your return to the city (albeit against your will) could have been considered a reunion of sorts when you were met with those chilling blue eyes once more. What was once a calm blue sea guiding the way now turned out to be a violent storm—its waves dragging you into the murky depths, anchoring you within it—but not quite letting you drown, at least not yet. You instead were trapped. Imprisoned in a floating limbo, forced to endure whatever… this… all was. It was humiliating, perhaps even insulting and you berated yourself mentally every single passing day for not fighting back against Satoru fucking Gojo when he confronted you back in Osaka, but then again, that same pressing question begged your rationality once more; how exactly were you ever supposed to go against someone like him to begin with?

Someone like him, who had the entire world of Jujutsu wrapped right around his finger.

As bleak as it all sounded, as harsh as the reality reigned true; you never had a chance to begin with, did you? Whether you ran away or stayed behind—it would have likely gone this way, because… after a summer of getting to know him, you of all people knew the truth (from learning it the hard way), that Satoru Gojo always got what he wanted.

You sighed as your eyes rolled back to glare at the fluorescent-lit ceiling, the pale flickering glow straining against your eyes. It was almost comedic with how dramatically it all came undone, like it was some sort of sick joke and you were the unsuspecting punchline right at the very end. Tokyo was supposed to be your fresh start away from the monotonous flow of small-town politics and its corrupt influence, so why on earth did it follow you here, too? You did everything right, after all, you studied hard and you persevered, you earned your place in the world, and just as it all finally began to fall into place… it unraveled. It was truly as though the string that you delicately wove through the passage of life was on its last thread, destined to snap from the moment it all connected.

(There was never a chance. There was always something in the way.)

You sat up, trying to avoid the light only to catch a flash of it reflected in the sleek black tiled floors. Closing your eyes in frustration, you tried to think back to the good times. You did suppose that the city was technically everything you had otherwise fantasised it to be; loud, noisy, and bustling with endless life. It was a far cry from the watchful and prying eyes of your quaint town. There was something… special about Tokyo because you were able to simply just… disappear, as one fleeting face of many, a living ghost blurring in and out of the crowd as you had pleased, free at last.

For it to have been taken away just from the introduction of three people, was almost hilarious. It was funny how that all worked. Just three people. Three.

Shoko, bless her heart, was your first real friend who guided you into the person that you desperately yearned to be. Someone both caring yet unrestricted from the confines of a sheltered former adolescence and then, guiding you into the further depths of it all, was… them.

Ah, Suguru Geto. If only you knew, huh? You laid back down with your head now slightly throbbing with a faint aura; the beginning of a migraine. These damned lights. So brooding and mysterious he was—it was a shame that he had to turn out the way that he did—a nightmare disguised as a dream. Was it your fault for admiring him from a distance initially? Did you somehow fall victim to some sort of manipulative act, when you found his calm, almost contemplative personality to be a comfort? His suffocating presence wasn’t something you could quite predict, after all, so possessive and longing, yet somehow subtly so. To have eluded the perceptive gaze of Shoko and even Satoru was almost impressive, but unsurprising because even he managed to fool you at times. Oh, how crazy he made you feel, even for just doubting him at all.

Then there was Satoru Gojo. Ah, Satoru, Satoru, Satoru… Oh, so ever loud and energetic, Satoru… Truth be told, you found him overwhelming at first, but there was a certain quality of his that drew you in. He was good at both carrying the conversation as well as involving you within it, making you feel special when the attention landed on you for just a second and dare you say, even… validated. Just like Suguru however, he couldn’t keep up the act for very long, though, even if he did crumble last. In some ways, he was the most volatile one out of both of them, because beyond that playful facade that he let on, was something else that bubbled and simmered beneath the surface. It was hard to tell at times, but it was certainly there.

Something that wasn’t quite calm, but maybe tender. Something that was… vulnerable and whatever it was, it made him dangerous to be around.

So in the end, if you had to truly reflect, then maybe it was all three of you that were at fault.

All three of you were that were victims of losing yourself in an attempt to look for something meaningful in that endless, unforgiving city. All three of you were subjected to the quickly fleeting addiction that you could never quite hold onto, of being both seen and understood. It was no wonder that you opened up too quickly and too soon, slipping on that pair of rose-tinted glasses longer than you should have. Maybe if you took them off when you had the chance, then you too, could have been yet another passing soul in and out of their lives, but you weren’t.

You got attached and so did they, and now, for a lack of better words, it wasn’t just your life that was ruined, but theirs too. All together, the three of you floated around in an unending, aimless drift, leaving Shoko to pick up the pieces (as usual).

The migraine faded and never thankfully developed, but you still grimaced at the light that flickered all the same. He was home, but not close just yet. All of those riches that lined his pockets and he couldn’t afford to screw in a better bulb for the lights or at least opt for something warmer and less clinical. You wanted to punch that light, to let it shatter and paint the room in a much-needed night, but you couldn’t. So instead, you were illuminated and exposed, plunged into the spotlight, forced to look at the pretty little cell he had confined you to.

Such continuous misery left you wondering if your life could have been… maybe… better if you followed Suguru. In a way, you missed his pretty lies because he at least tried to offer you comfort and see you for who you truly were, but he also hurt you, so you couldn’t forgive him. Twice. He hurt you twice and yet, your mind still drifted to him at times. Why? You couldn’t make sense of it—of him—of the very same man who despite forcing you to bury your past behind and move on—surely had an issue with never letting you go, with never letting anything that ever happened to you… go.

Did this therefore make Satoru better or worse? You didn’t even know anymore. They were both equal runner-ups for the worst human being, that much was for certain. Suguru may have been involved from the start, but he was nothing like Satoru, who was always watching right from the start, more closely than you, or anyone else had ever known. Those burning blue eyes so focused yet serene, locked on you in a way that almost felt invasive. If Suguru was the storm, then Satoru must have been the cataclysm itself.

Devastating. Consequential. Unforgiving.

Indeed, you were never free.

All of the hope, all of the dreams—everything else that fell in between—none of it was ever real.

The only thing that had ever remained consistent throughout this whole experience was the part where Satoru told you that he would never, ever let you go.

The lights above you were now starting to buzz and crackle, fading in and out with every muffled thud. He was approaching. Suddenly, you regretted spending so much time reflecting on the aftermath of your life yet again, knowing that you had spent yet another day moping around, thinking of them, of him… knowing fully well that you were never truly alone.

Satoru would reunite with you every night, on clockwork, never late and always on time.

His voice was calm, always welcoming yet never inviting. You always found yourself flinching as he greeted you, wanting nothing more than to be left alone for the night. Just one night was all you asked him for—it was all you begged for at one point—for him to not talk to you, for him to not… touch you. A single night was all that you asked for, a break from having to play pretend.

“Ah, [name],” Satoru cooed, lowering an unwinding staircase that revealed a mocking glimpse of the room just above. A faint reminder of just how close the surface was, yet so inaccessible. The entrance operated on a motor, using some sort of secret code. There was a dial pad inside of the basement he kept you in as a failsafe just in case it locked him in, but try as you might to crack the code, you never guessed it right and every time you failed, it sent an alert to him. “You haven’t moved an inch from where I left you last! Didn’t I tell you about the importance of needing to stretch, even if it’s just for a minute or two a day?”

“Please just let me go,” you croaked out weakly, knowing that he wasn’t going to oblige, let alone even humour you.

Predictably ignoring your request, he walked over to you, setting down a plain white plastic bag right where you lay, strategically positioning it so that you could spot your favourite snacks and drinks poking out.

“It’s been a hell of a long day, you know,” he continued, adopting a softer tone that almost sounded hopeful, “did you miss me?”

You closed your eyes in an attempt to block him out. “You already know the answer to that one, don’t you?”

Satoru snorted a half-laugh, seeming annoyed but also amused. “You’ll have to admit it one day, [name],” he reminded, “the sooner you learn to… adapt, the sooner it’ll start to look up for you, and maybe, just maybe…” he trailed off, letting the beginning of a promise hang, “I’ll let you see your friends again, maybe I’d even let you see… him,” he paused as he said that last word, his composed demeanour ever so slightly faltering at the indirect mention of Suguru, “so, what do you say?”

You repeated the same answer you always did, “Never, Gojo,” you sighed, already expecting the worst as he took up the free seat next to you on the sofa, settling right where your head lay.

You felt a cold shocking jolt run through your body as his cold hands cupped your face, tilting your head up to meet with his longing yet intense stare. He would do such a thing on occasion, hoping that you would return even a hint of the way you once looked at Suguru before, and yet you didn’t. In your eyes, there was resentment but also, if he looked hard enough, fear.

“What have I told you about being so formal, huh?” he murmured, scoffing a little, “we’ve been over this, you’ll call me Satoru and we’re… we’re going to make this work,” he reminded you, trying to maintain his composure, “I’m not letting you go either way, so you’re going to have to drop that at some point, because like it or not, it’s not up to you how it all goes… it never has been.”

You blinked, unable to reply.

Satoru’s eyes softened for a moment, revealing a hint of internally conflicting vulnerability, maybe even traces of guilt glinting in his stare. “We’ll play pretend for as long as we have to, yeah? We’ll make all of it feel real one day.”

His words cut sharp even if it was just a reminder of something you already knew, that there was some sort of unseen force meddling in the sidelines of your life, forcing you to endure whatever life had in store for you, even if it meant pretending that it was all okay.

One thing did bother you, though.

A question that you looped over and over in the back of your mind and yet you never did dare ask him, as if afraid to hear the answer.

If he was simply fulfilling his promise to never let you go…

…Then why was he punishing you for being here?

[gigidragonbbxxx]

regarding mental diet

discipline. consistency. THIS IS HOW YOU MANIFEST.

it is the discipline and consistency in acknowledging the things in your 3D that you want and ignoring the stuff that you do not identify with.

Yes Gigi, we know that why are you saying something EVERYONE says?

bc dear reader and loass community, i'm gonna say something that might be known but I don't see stated enough:

To be a master manifester, you break your old realities and create new ones - AND A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME GETTING ON THIS LEVEL BECAUSE THEY ARE UNWILLING TO LET GO OF HABITS THAT DO NOT SERVE THEM.

AKA = YOU MUST BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO BE DIFFERENT.

You hear me???

YOU MUST BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO BE DIFFERENT.

AND THIS IS WHAT MENTAL DIET IS: NOT GIVING IN TO EVERY TREND, EVERY LIL SONG, EVERY TV SHOW, ETC. IF IT DOES NOT HELP YOUR MIND BE SATURATED WITH BEING IN YOUR FAVOR.

I'll cite an example many of us go through: a friend who doesn't know the law and only wants to talk about how horrible men are. This friend is also addicted to complaining. What have so many loass practicing people have said? They've either 1) told that friend they don't want to talk about that stuff or 2) spent less time with that friend.

it's an experience so many in the community go through and many benefit from limiting their exposure to that type of person. because what is the point of spending time affirming lies like "life has to be hard" "life is unfair" "I always get treated like shit by men" "I'm never first choice" like EW!? guys, learn to get the ICK from this type of talk!!! there is no benefit from this energy.

YOU GET TO DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO EXPOSE YOURSELF TO. SO STOP MINGLING WITH ENERGY THAT DOES NOT SERVE YOU. IF YOU HAVE TIME TO THINK BADLY, YOU HAVE TIME TO THINK POSITIVELY!!!

Be willing to WALK AWAY. Be willing to be the one to say "This is not for me" if a convo is full of limited beliefs. Be willing to not participate in trends like making tiktoks about self deprecating jokes or tweet about toxic things. Be willing to say "Oh i never say those things about myself."

Let me explain what prompted me to write this:

I saw THE CUTEST lil key chains or cases made by a small business. I love to reblog cute things on my main account on twt (not my loass burner) and tbh I've manifested getting some of those cute things by making a lil placebo that whatever I retweet is mine/fact.

The first case/keychain thing was "Tummy Ache Survivor" which I thought was hilarious as I have a lot of Virgo energy in my life but the second image showcased another that said something along the lines of "Daily Dose of Dumb Baby Juice".

Guys.

Please.

Does a master manifester drink dumb baby juice? Or is she the operant power full of knowledge and wisdom leading a fulfilling life?

Now, I'm not a limiting typa gal okay? You can totally be "baby". You can totally live a soft live. Be a baby. Hell, I love being baby in a relationship. What I'm saying is even seemingly "harmless" things like that phrase...you have to have discernment in what could be unfavorable influences in your life.

Again, Gigi isn't telling you how to live your life. If you wanna declare "fuck off Gigi! I'm a dumb baby AND I manifest!" go ahead. If you wanna declare "fuck off Gigi! I can consume ANY CONTENT I want and manifest!" GO AHEAD.

BUT LETS DISCUSS SOME OBSERVATIONS IVE MADE ABOUT THE BIGGEST LOA COACHES/ACCOUNTS WITH THE MOST SUCCESS:

all of them. 100% of them. are careful about what they expose themselves to/say about themselves.

BECAUSE DOMINANT BELIEFS ARE WHAT MANIFESTS. SO WHY WASTE TIME CONSUMING CONTENT THAT GOES AGAINST WHAT YOU WANT YOUR DOMINANT THOUGHT PATTERN TO BE? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!

and I get the resistance to cut off things you mightve enjoyed. But i said it before and I'll repeat it again.

YOU MUST BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO BE DIFFERENT.

things gigi had to cut off:

sad songs on daily playlists

reality tv glorifying toxicity in relationships

accounts on twt that leaned heavily on "men are trash" mindset

conversations that were self-deprecating

and more but those are a few examples.

and you know what I have more time to do now, reader?

I have more time to affirm, to listen to subs, to write on this blog.

Because Manifestion is a Lifestyle. It's not a quick fix bc the outcome depends on the SOLIDITY of your BELIEF to enact CHANGE on the 3D.

so pls don't drink dumb baby juice. drink pretty girl juice. drink intelligent master manifester juice. drink "in my favor" juice.

with laughs and love, xx, gigi

p.s. I do not believe that this is an excuse to remain ignorant about world events and news. I encourage you to remain informed, intelligent people who do not lack awareness and instead are fully immersed in the nuance of balancing high self-esteem and understanding the political climate.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Caffeine

Caffeine - A mild alkaloid stimulant made by some plants.

Found in coffee beans, tea leaves, and cocoa beans; added to soft drinks, energy drinks, and energy bars; and sold in capsules and tablets as a dietary supplement.

A mild stimulant. It is used to temporarily relieve fatigue and increase mental alertness. Caffeine is added to some antihistamine drugs to help counteract the sleepiness they may cause. It is also added to over-the-counter headache remedies (e.g., Excedrin) and migraine headache drugs to enhance their painkilling effects. Under medical supervision, citrated caffeine (a prescription drug) is used to treat breathing problems in premature infants.

From the Italian word cafée, meaning "coffee", is naturally made by about 60 plants. The most familiar of these are coffee leaves and beans, tea leaves, kola nuts, yerba mate, guarana berries, and cacao (the source of chocolate). In plants, caffeine is a pesticide. Insects eating plants that contain caffeine become disabled or die.

It has no nutritional value. But there seem to be some benefits to regular caffeine consumption, despite conflicting research.

Effects on the Body

Increases heart rate

Temporarily increases blood pressure

Relaxes smooth muscle cells in the airways

Releases fatty acids and glycerol in the body for energy use

Easily crosses the blood-brain barrier and changes the level of neurotransmitters in the brain

Passes into breast milk

Caffeine is absorbed in the stomach.

Its effects are noticeable in about 15 minutes and usually last several hours.

However, there is a huge variation among people both in their sensitivity to caffeine and in how long it stays in their bodies.

Although the average time it takes half a dose of caffeine to be eliminated from the body is 3-4 hours, this time may extend to 6 hours in women taking oral contraceptives; much longer in pregnant women and in people with liver damage.

Many well-designed, well-documented studies show that caffeine makes people more alert, improves short-term memory, enhances the ability to concentrate, increases the individual’s capacity for physical work, and speeds up reaction time.

In habitual caffeine drinkers, caffeine achieves this by preventing the detrimental effects of withdrawal.

It does not boost functioning to above normal levels.

All of these effects are temporary.

Caffeine does not replace the need for rest or sleep.

Caffeine Withdrawal

Discontinuing caffeine among regular users can cause withdrawal symptoms. These can include:

Headaches (very common)

Irritability

Nausea

Fatigue

Sleepiness

Inability to concentrate

Mild depression

Caffeine withdrawal symptoms begin 12–24 hours after caffeine is stopped.

Withdrawal symptoms peak at around 48 hours, and can last up to 5 days.

Tapering caffeine use, for example cutting down on caffeine by the equivalent of half a cup of coffee (about 50 mg) a day, minimizes or eliminates withdrawal symptoms.

Caffeinism

People who consume more than 500 mg of caffeine a day—equivalent to about five cups of coffee—may develop a condition called caffeinism, though the threshold varies among individuals.

Produces unpleasant sensations, some of which are similar to withdrawal symptoms. Symptoms of Caffeine Overuse include:

Restlessness

Irritability

Nervousness

Anxiety

Muscle twitching

Headaches

Inability to fall asleep

A racing heart

Related Disorders

Severe overuse of caffeine can cause a number of related disorders, including:

Caffeine Intoxication—usually the result of taking caffeine pills (e.g., NoDoz), this condition causes mental changes, rambling thoughts and speech, irregular heartbeat, and other symptoms associated with overuse. In severe cases death can result from ventricular fibrillation (unsynchronized contractions of the ventricle of the heart).

Caffeine-Induced Anxiety Disorder—severe anxiety that interferes with daily social interactions and occurs after caffeine intoxication or heavy long-term use of caffeine.

Caffeine-Induced Sleep Disorder—an inability to sleep that is so great it requires medical/psychiatric attention and occurs after prolonged caffeine consumption.

Non-Specific Caffeine-Induced Disorder—disorders not listed that are attributable to either acute or long-term caffeine consumption.

Source ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References ⚜ Describing Food ⚜ Cocktails

[hwnglx]

Can i request a reading of enhypen’s ni-ki off cam personality? And his views when it comes to relationships (platonic and romantic)?

i will be doing the second question in another post, maybe even in a collective one for the full group 🤭 enjoy the read

niki's real personality behind the scenes

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

3ow&su, 9osw&5op, 10op, pagosw, 7op&to bod: 4osw + off cam, niki is someone pretty open-minded. i'm getting this huge desire to expand his views and beliefs, big interest in experiencing things that are very foreign and new to him. he definitely loves a challenge and feels his best when he can just go somewhere else, whether that's physically or mentally. does he enjoy travelling in his free time? if he doesn't do it, he definitely wants to. he likes getting his mind off life sometimes, and just exploring different cultures, or even hearing stories about people's lives completely different to him. he finds it very interesting and intriguing.

one thing that's a constant for niki, is this boy lives to work. it's interesting, because despite this being a reading on him off cam, even behind the scenes i can see work occupying most of his mind. he's been exposed to the industry since he was so young, it's pretty much all he's known till now, so it's almost like the easiest thing in the world for him to remain career-focused. it's when he feels he's at his best, and most comfortable. in contrast, when not working is when he can quickly get into a more tense headspace and start overthinking. he's the type who needs to stay busy, in order to distract himself from his own thoughts, since he can be a huge overthinker, especially in regards to himself. i can just see him obsessing over doing everything perfectly, and himself being his own biggest critic. (is this boy an earth rising? he kinda looks like one too) but he has extremely professional and surprisingly mature energy in regards to his career. honestly blew my mind to remember he just turned 18 and could teach some older idols a few things concerning their attitude at work.

niki is also a person who is much more observant than we realize. he's someone with a quick wit and clever mind, a person who basically lives in his head. very very smart boy, much more intelligent and insightful than some people think. there is this self-aware and self-reflective quality to him, where he can quickly pick up on his mistakes, and is always open to changing. literally, he doesn't mind completely tearing down some habits, if that means he'll improve. he's always looking to reach his best potential, and is firm in his mentality.

to give you an example, he definitely had and sometimes still has the habit of being very sharp-tongued. sometimes he just says things that can easily hurt people, and this is something he's very aware of. he doesn't just brush it off like "whatever, guess that's what i'm like" no, he will definitely reflect on his behavior once he gets some time to think and put in effort to improve. especially because he himself is much more easily hurt than others think, even he himself doesn't always seem to acknowledge his more sensitive side. so there is this subconscious thought of "i can't be like this."

in general though, niki is just very chill and laidback. he truly doesn't like drama, doesn't enjoy conflicts, just wants to stay low-key and do what he has to do. i can see his hyungs fighting like cats and dogs while he's sitting there on his phone completely unfazed by what's going on. he doesn't enjoy being consumed by negative energy, since this can get his emotions to bubble up and truly mess him up sometimes, so he keeps himself out of situations as much as he can. could definitely seem kinda self-absorbed to some people, but he's just very protective of his own energy.

whe&3oc, sta, pagow, 7oc, pagoc, 4osw&acop, bod: 9op

- he just lives in his own little world and bubble, to an excessive extent. pretty selective about who he calls his friends, and truly doesn't seem to be very invested or even interested in putting effort into maintaining friendships. is he the member who just never answers on katalk and doesn't really react in the enha groupchat lol, like a ghost? that's the vibe he's giving. unbothered about others, puts more thought into matters about himself and his own life. if it doesn't concern him, he doesn't truly care. i see this pattern a lot for people who are incredibly absorbent to others' feelings and energy, often for significant pisces placements (esp ☾) they're so easily consumed by that, it's a self-protective mechanism in order to shield themselves from any sort of hurt.

niki still struggles to truly acknowledge and appreciate his more softer and emotional side. that's when he feels more awkward and insecure, it's a part of himself he's not comfortable with. he doesn't enjoy getting emotional, since he fears the loss of control over himself, he gets worried about just saying or doing things out of pure emotion and messing things up not only for himself, but others too. i keep getting this feeling of him really hating to hurt people, he feels guilt pretty quickly. and in his eyes it often happens whenever his emotions take over him, like he just isn't himself. so, he prefers to not even put himself into situations where this is a possibility, and just runs away from his feelings, as well as people who can bring that emotional side out in him. i can see he can probably get more emotionally attached than he'd want to, and that can scare him off. he doesn't like people thinking he's dependant on them.

there definitely is an arrogant quality to the way he carries himself off cam. he gives off this vibe of knowing how good he is, and people can quickly perceive that as being conceited and full of himself, especially if they feel threatened by that confidence. however, much of that is just fierce self awareness. he holds himself up to insanely high standards, and can feel overwhelmingly insecure if he doesn't meet them.

if you aren't of any use to him, it's unlikely niki will entertain your attendance for very long. as previously said, he carefully selects who he gives his time and energy to, and much of this is based on what that certain connection can do for him. he's just very self-centered, which can easily make people feel like he doesn't give a damn about anyone, and sometimes even hurt or disappointment them. he seems to have this mentality of "we all live and die alone anyway" so he'd prefer to nurture and take care of his own self rather than putting much effort into others. he goes through life thinking we all have to be more selfish in order to succeed. "no one is going to live life for me, so i might as well do it for myself." is what i hear.

[gem-de-lune]

Daily Vibe Check 11/1

Big shifts today for the rest of the members.

Seunghan

The Chariot + 4 of Pentacles + 5 of Chalices

He is in the same driving energy as yesterday, but there are some underlying fears. He is very motivated, but he is also preparing himself to persevere no matter the outcome. He seemed very energetically admant to express that this is a fear that he is working through, not a feeling. As in, he is not feeling as depressed as the 5 of Chalices. He wanted to express that clearly. He said that even if things do not go as well as he hopes he will not do that and will still work hard no matter the response, outcome, or otherwise 🥺

Wonbin

The Wheel + 10 of Wands

He is feeling very overwhemled right now. This has always been a present feeling for him in this situation, but right now it is coming to a head. The wheel truly signifies the fact that things are still not solidified enough, not grounded enough for him to find relief from all the things he has been juggling in his mind, heart, and in the physical world too. He cannot comfortably comfort anyone anymore because he himself is not feeling like anything is set in stone yet. This isn't necessarily negative, but it is just kind of "up in the air" for him, and he is waiting, seemingly patiently but mentally impatient, for a firm 100% guarantee.

Sungchan

Knight of Wands + Hyerophant + 5 of Pentacles + 4 of wands

So he has a lot to say, lol. Similarly to Seunghan, it seems Sungchan wanted to talk about how he feels, as well as his fears and anxieties separately. He is not feeling anxious or fearful today, but these things like the 5 of Pentacles are in the back of his head. The 5 of Pentacles is always significant, especially when it is pulling to the right or left of another card. Here, when I pulled it, the 4 of Wands was to the right. He is expressing that his fear is only being able to look at "family" as a distant longing from afar, and not being able to enjoy what he does anymore even though it's right before him shining and sparkling. Sungchan has made it very difficult to get real answers from him because he again was just not ready and wants to be positive and an older brother adult figure to everyone (the Knight and Hyerophant) Just and carrying out the wills of everyone positively. But he has these worries like everyone else, so I am glad he finally allowed me to communicate that today. Please send him some positive vibes today.

Anton

9 of Wands + Judgement

For Anton, something has significantly shifted. He is being a bit less brash. He was shifting like this before into calmer fire energy, but now it is definitive. He is more so embodying an impenetrable wall of lava, I'd say. He has spent a lot of time gathering opinions and advice from others on these matters, and he is finally at his point of silent rage and the will to prevail. In terms of everything going on he has more or less accepted that he must wait for certain things, but he is very firm in that he will absolutely take action if anything were to be unjust or simply not right or honest. He is drawing a line, and all who pass will have him to deal with. For now, he is sitting back, watching, and waiting.

Eunseok

Ace of Chalices + 5 of Swords

Again, there are a lot of changes here. Eunseok has finished watching and waiting, lol. He is done with his observations, and similar to Anton, he has come to terms with how he personally feels and it is consuming. Differently, though, is how he will act today due to this. He has made a much more direct decision than I had ever expected. He is legitimately upset and angered. He is now not that concerned about starting an argument over the matter, which makes me think that he will be more brash and less filtered than usual. He will be less sensitive to others and less accommodating. He may withdraw a little from others because of this, or others may withdraw from him unless they are on his side fully. Overall, it is almost like him, and Anton switched approaches lmfao. He is very active today and probably hanging around outside.

Sohee

3 of Pentacles + 7 of Wands

Sohee is feeling a sense of comraderie for a mutual cause. I get the sense that he has come up with some sort of plan, or he and others have come up with some sort of plan to do something significant. Alone with this is sort of a promise to himself to value those he works with and stands beside, to hold his ground and not waver. If he is doing anything today, it has to do with collaboration or teamwork to develop some sort of plan of action or pact. In terms of emotion, he is very motivated and feeling relatively good and inspired.

Shotaro

8 of Wands + King of Swords

Taro is now a bit over his little decompression break routine. I think he has calmed down and gathered his thoughts and feeling well, so he can now put into action what he has been thinking very productively andbyeild amazing results. I think that he out of all the other members has not outwardly and candidly expressed his stance to people at SM as much- he has really been unserious to this point but still on the side of Seunghan and the members. But now he is ready to actually express those things after gaining some energy from a rest and recharge period. He may be more outwardly expressive in terms of this matter and not necessarily vocal, but you will clearly know what he means now. No more games.

Final Notes:

I said for a few days now that things are shifting. This is the turning point here when it comes to the members. Things are feeling very realbfor them now. I honestly think there is something they are brewing rn. There is a lot of similar "comradery and planning" energy for literally every single one of them. Something is coming.

[daisyofwaterdeep]

Magical Intrusion | Chapter 1

!NSFW! male companions x cisfem reader This chapter contains: Gale Dekarios, sexual fantasies

Gale tries to create some magical relief for his lonely nights

~~~

Everything is in place. Gale turns the padded sleeve in his hands, tugging at the seams that close it off at about 7 inches, then turning it again to inspect the entrance, padded fuller to the point of stiffness. He delves two fingers in, pleased with the water repellent spell he had cast on the silk lining. Everything seems to be in order.

Now, the tricky part.

He had been tinkering with the set of spells for the past several tenday, to various degrees of success. But now, Gale feels that they're ready to be put to proper action.

A warming enchantment goes first, and works perfectly. A water creation spell now, with a few tweaks that makes the liquid more oiled and viscous. That goes well also.

Gale stops for a moment, heart hammering and mouth far too dry. This last charm is far more complex than the other two, and far more likely to go awry. He has to do this perfectly, elst the rest of his work will have been for naught. It had taken him nearly the whole trip to get the supplies he needed, and he doesn't know if he has the heart to start again if this goes wrong.

He takes a deep breath and places his hands over the makeshift sleeve as he begins reciting the enchantment. A blue light spreads in his finger tips and transfers to the material, casting a faint glow. He pictures in his mind a fantasy that he's harbored ever since he met you, leaving no lurid detail unthought. The grip of your cunt, the flutter of it, how it would feel and taste and smell. He channels all of his desire into the object, your name chanting in his head as he feels volatile energy start to crackle at his fingertips.

Gale?

Your voice cuts through his thoughts and at first he thinks he's manifested it, but then he feels the familiar prodding of another mind against his. The spell in his hands dies out instantly, afterimages of the blue light dancing in his now dark vision. He quickly shuts his mind to you, shooting back his own mental words.

Is something the matter?

No, I just thought I heard you say my name.

Gale wipes a bead of perspiration from his forehead, trying not to let his panic consume him.

Through the tadpole?

No, through your tent.

Oh gods, how embarrassing. With you being his camping neighbor, he should have been more cautious....He thinks quickly on how to rectify the situation.

My apologies. I was reading a rather engaging book...I suppose I may have muttered a few words out loud.

I figured as much. Just wanted to be sure.

Of course. Do try to get some rest.

You as well. See you in the morning.

He feels your presence slip from his mind, and only then does he allow himself to breathe--quietly, of course, so as you don't hear him struggling from your laying spot nearby.

The enchantment...he has no idea if it was a success or not, and he's not brave enough to light a candle and see if it did, rattled as he is.

With his heart still beating too fast for comfort, Gale takes the sleeve and tucks it securely into his pack before laying out on his bedroll.

He'll have to wait until tomorrow to see if his hard work has produced any fruit. At the very least, it'll give him a chance to set up camp a bit farther from the rest of his companions.

Gale has waited this long to try out his little contraption....waiting one day more will be easy.

NEXT CHAPTER

A/N: this is just a short set up, all the real juicy stuff will be in the next chapter ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ (shoutout to anyone who knows where this is goingggggg)

[honeytonedhottie]

hyper girliness⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

this post is just my take on what girliness is to me and how i incorporate it into my life bcuz its a lifestyle for me. being super feminine and feeling happy and beautiful in that way is how i choose to live and this post is just talking about how i go about that. ofc with anything that u consume. take what resonates with you and leave the rest but i hope you'll enjoy.

GIRLY MINDSET ;

i think of very highly of myself, like a princess. i did lots of self concept work to get my self concept to where it is now and i can confidently say that my self concept is just as flawless as i am. because i think so highly of myself, i treat myself accordingly. something that i reinforce in my thoughts is to treat myself like my favorite doll.

what does it mean to treat yourself like your favorite doll? PAMPER yourself, treat urself sweetly and preciously and your body and mind and soul will thank you tenfold. every investment that u put into urself whether its mental or physical will give you the highest ROI then anything else can because its YOU.

IN TOUCH WITH GIRLINESS ;

im rly in touch with my girliness when im practicing self care or doing something creative (like girlblogging for example) to me, femininity is expression and creativity and energy and beauty so anything that resonates with those four words is enriching my own girliness.

pampering and self care time every single day is a MUST

dancing or stretching

most tension for girls at least, is stored in ur hips, so whenever ur doing stretches or when u dance, i like to focus on my hips movements so that then i can release tension and let energy flow. doing so helps me to feel super in touch with my girliness and my femininity in general, so things like belly dancing and yoga.

PAMPERING ;

manis/pedis WEEKLY or every two weeks, u dont have to get them professionally done if u dont want to, but mainly focus on being well kept and well groomed and moisturized.

making sure my hair looks pretty and to my liking

being EXTRA during shower time ; using high quality and sweet smelling products, using body oils and body butters and lotions. taking bubble baths and using fancy bath milks and bubble bath.

GIRLY INCORPORATION ;

you can glamorize even the simplest of tasks by being super girly. here are some examples of incorporating girliness into mundane tasks. girliness is lots of ROMANTICIZATION

studying -> using cute stationary (mine are predominantly pink) decorated notes, cute study playlist (i listen to subliminals) keep an adorable space to study and wear a cute outfit

GIRLY CODE ;

being sweet and gentle with everyone (including urself) is SUCH a girly move and it makes u so pleasant and doll-like. theres no need to be nasty for no reason, cuz thats not hot. so mind ur p's and q's. say thank you, articulate ur feelings and ur thoughts. also, me saying making an effort to be nice is girly code does NOT mean that if someone is coming at u some kind of way that u shouldn't stand up for urself bcuz u absolutely should, but rly emphasize grace.

GIRLY ACCESSORIES ;

bracelets

anklets

purses

head bands

mini-skirts

on an ending note the main keys to girliness from my experience is all about how u treat urself, and that'll translate to how u treat others. and this post can serve as your reminder to pamper and spoil yourself bcuz u deserve it ✨

[barefoothighlander]

call me little sunshine - iii

-summary: you come home for summer break to find a new man has moved in next door, he’s charming and mysterious so you welcome him to the neighbourhood

-simon ‘ghost’ riley x fem!reader

-warnings: mdni (18+), dark themes, smut, unprotected pinv, slight stalker!ghost, public sex, fingering, creampie, underwear as a gag, possessive!ghost, age gap

prev part masterlist

a/n: this part is short but it’s basically porn with plot anyways so

It had been four days since he left, he didn’t tell you where he was going, only that he’d be gone for a while. You didn’t want to know, whatever he was doing it didn’t concern you, you needed to distance yourself from him, his mere existence a stain on your conscious.

You found yourself dreaming of him, your body jolting awake from the too-familiar sensation of his touch, it scorched your skin. As if your thoughts weren’t already consumed by him, he had snuck his way into your sleeping mind, intent on invading the entirety of you.

The morning of the fourth day you woke up in a thin layer of sweat, the warmth outside doing little to settle your mental unrest. Sleeping was difficult, the only comfort you found was in his presence, his warmth holding you, keeping you safe. You wanted to call him, to reach out but every part of you fought against it, this perverse relationship that had taken over your life, it felt wrong, dirty.

You turn in your bed, arms reaching for your side table where the key to his house lay, mocking you as you stare at it, you could easily just go to his room, lay in his bed and let the scent of him wash over you, you could snoop around, try and figure out more about him, even if would hurt you.

The pinging of your phone breaks you from your thoughts, grabbing the device to read the message,

In town for the day, meet up? x

You let out a sigh at the message, a text from an old friend, Jake, you're relieved it isn't Simon. You think it over in your head, you hadn't seen Jake in a few months, going your separate ways after the semester ended, he was kind, considerate, everything Simon wasn't, you unlock your phone to message back.

Sounds good, does noon work?

Works perfect babe, see you then. x

It'd be nice to be around some new masculine energy you think, see an old friend, have a conversation about something other than sex, it'll be refreshing.

11:30 rolls around and you make your way into town, it's a short drive, only a few minutes but the streets are narrow meaning you'd have to walk a few blocks to the cafe you and Jake agreed upon. It's right beside a small bed and breakfast that he was staying at, his face lights up upon meeting your gaze.

"Been too long darling" He wraps his arms around you, placing a kiss on your cheek, you smile back at him, your hands settling on his shoulders.

"Missed you too Jake"

He directs you to a small table outside the cafe, pulling your chair out slightly to allow you to sit, moving to sit in front of you. He's a ball of energy, asking questions about your summer break, answering your questions about his travels, your chest warms with the sense of familiarity, you're comfortable around Jake, he doesn't make you nervous or scared.

You'd be lying if you said you weren't attracted to him, he was handsome, chin length curly brown hair, dark eyes, and the same gold medallion around his neck that he never took off, you rest your chin on your hand, watching him as he speaks, he's passionate about his travels, specific with his words.

"Do I have something on my face?" He smiles, you break from your trance, shaking your head as a blush rises to your cheeks,

"No, sorry, just got distracted" You laugh

"Well, what about you, any new guys in your life?"

You hitch your breath, the words striking a nerve,

"Nope"

"Not one? Seriously?"

You lie through your teeth, "Not one"

The rest of your conversation is mundane, he asks about school and your family, listening intently as you talk about your studies, you can't help the smile that persists on your face, he made you feel relaxed, he was predictable and calm, it was nice to spend time with someone who didn't make your entire body feel like it was being engulfed by flames, but the itch of him was still there, the way his fingers traced your skin, it was something you could never forget.

Trying to busy yourself after getting home you wind up tending to the garden in your backyard, kneeling in the dirt as you prune the leaves of a few bushes of flowers, oblivious to your surroundings including the heavy slam of a car door in the front yard.

"You look good like that, on your knees"

There's no mistaking his voice, his deep accent echoing in your bones as you turn to face him, he's invited himself onto your property, leaning against the small shed that sat in the corner of the yard as he eyes you.

"Good afternoon to you too"

"Who was that bloke you were with earlier?"

"What?"

"The boy that sat across from you at the cafe, who was he"

"Were you spying on me?"

"Answer the question"

You stand from your position, moving closer to him, his scent invading your senses, it was like no matter what you did, there would be something about him that commanded your attention.

"A friend"

"A boyfriend"

"Just a friend"

"Don't like the sound of that"

"You sound jealous" A small smirk on your lips

"Not jealous love"

"Then what?" You stand closer, taunting him, watching his eyes rake over your chest as his crossed arms tighten.

"Did he touch you"

"Maybe"

"Don't be a fuckin' brat"

"What if he did? Would you hurt him?"

"I'd fuckin kill em"

You huff a small laugh, staring up at him with rounded eyes, "You don't own me, Simon, I can fuck whoever I please"

That sets him off, he drops his arms, stepping forward and forcing your body back, invading your space until your back collides with the wall of the shed, his body trapping you. He leans down, his lips next to your ear, the hair on your neck standing on end in anticipation,

"You're being a little brat you know that" He whispers, turning his face so you can see his eyes, waiting for your response,

"Didn't realize" You whimper

His breath lingers over your skin, arousal dripping from your core in anticipation,

"Watch your mouth"

You let out a sigh as his hand connects with the skin of your thigh, tracing his fingers closer to your core, you elicit a moan as his hand cups your clothed sex, his fingers pinching over your soaked folds.

“So wet already, you need me don’t you, say it”

You turn your head to face him, your cheeks flush in embarrassment as you look at him, it’s been too long, and he feels so right.

“I need you”

“That’s my girl, only I can touch you”

“Only you”

He slips his fingers under the band of your panties, tugging them down your legs before closing his fingers around them.

“I’ve missed you my angel”

He teases his fingers through your folds, collecting your slick and spreading it around, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit as your hands reach for him.

“Gotta be quiet, don’t wanna wake the neighbour’s”

His words mean nothing, all you can focus on is the way his digits work your pussy, teasing over all the right spots as you crumble before him, his large form pressing against you, keeping you pinned to the wall as his lips press against your neck, sucking on your pulse point.

“You’re not gonna cum, not until I stretch you out on my cock”

You clench around nothing, his words guiding your body, keeping you on a high that would have no end, not unless he said so.

He grabs your hand, placing it over his hardening cock, squeezing your smaller fingers around his length,

“Feel that, that’s what you do to me, hurts, you gonna fix it?” He mumbles against your skin, you nod lightly,

“Please, want to help”

“Knew you would baby”

He moves back, undoing his pants to let his cock spring free, your core aches at the sight, his tip red and dripping as you move your hands to it.

His fingers stay on your clit as he uses an arm to lift you, his chest pressed to yours as he lines himself up. You let out a cry as he pushes in, the stretch of him too much after too long apart,

“Gotta stay quiet”

Your hands cling to his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin as he pushes in further, a string of moans from your lips as he bottoms out. He turns his gaze to you, his eyes dark as he reaches a hands up,

“Open”

He pushes the fabric into your mouth, stuffing it inside your lips, the taste of your slick lingering on it as it soaks in your saliva.

“There we go”

He braces his hands on your waist, holding you as he pulls his cock out, dragging it along your dripping walls as your head drops back, your moans muffled by your panties.

“Missed this pussy so much”

He grunts as he thrusts into you, bottoming out with every stroke, his thumb tracing over your clit, your body teetering on the edge of orgasm as he works you open.

“Can he fuck you like this, huh?”

You pull your focus to him, his eyes staring back at you as his hips snap upwards, you try to respond but it comes out a muffled mess, shaking your head.

“That’s right, this pussy belongs to me, it’s fuckin mine” He punctuates his words with a thrust, forcing the head of his cock deep inside you as your slick drips from your core, pooling around the base of his cock.

Your saliva pools at the edges of your mouth, dripping down your chin as he grabs your hips, lifting your body and forcing it down on time with his thrusts,

“Fuck, not gonna last long with this tight pussy squeezin’ me”

Your hands paw at his skin, grabbing at his shirt, trying to ground yourself,

“Cum for me, show me how good I make you feel”

His words snap the band in your stomach, your orgasm tearing through your body as you writhe in his grip, your sobs quiet in your throat as tears prick at your eyes.

“That’s it, my perfect girl, my perfect fuckin girl”

His orgasm follows yours, his thrusts sloppy as he chases his high, wrapping his arms around your back as he holds you to him, burying his cock inside you as he floods your walls with his cum, the liquid dripping from your core as you spit the gag from your mouth, panting against his shoulder.

He holds his softening cock in you, his lips pressing softly to your neck as he mumbled against the skin.

He lowers you slowly, his hand on your waist steadying your wobbling legs as you lean back against the shed, heavy eyes staring back at him.

“Daddy’s home”

You furrow your brows at him, his gaze drawing your attention to your fathers car that had pulled into the driveway, panic setting into your nerves.

“I don’t want to see him with you again”

You’re in a daze, brain completely fogged, unable to form a response as you watch your fathers form grow closer, focused on him as Simon leans down toward the ground.

“Afternoon” He shouts, waving to the two of you,

“Good to see you, was just getting some gardening tips from your daughter, can’t seem to keep even a weed alive in my yard”

“She’s fantastic isn’t she, very gentle hand”

Simons smirks at the words, stepping back slightly from your body,

“You alright hun? Looks like this heats getting to you”

Your cheeks flush, thankful that the sheen of your skin seemed to hide it from your father, “Mhm, just been out too long I guess”

“Well, you should get inside, I’m sure you can talk to Simon later”

“Right, I’ll see you both later then” You nervously add, moving past the men toward your house, eyes staring at your feet as you leave.

You rush toward your room, your skin on fire as you peel back your curtains, watching the two men interact in your yard, you see Simons hand in his pocket, fidgeting as you squint your eyes.

Realization hits, it’s your panties in his pocket, he’s playing with your panties as he talks to your father, you can’t tell if the sweat on your skin is from the heat, embarrassment or how turned on it makes you. It feels so wrong, everything about him, the way he treats you, using you at his will, but you crave his touch, his words, everything about him.

There’s no escape anymore, you can’t avoid him no matter what you try, he’s always there, might as well give in.