#but it compels me because it's both so close in to a character's experience and notably separated from it
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controversial opinion, but i love second-person pov in fic. in this case, i specifically don't mean x-reader; that seems like a different kind of story that scratches another itch.
i want you to be a fully-fledged character, familiar, recognizable. the thing i love about second-person is not that it inserts me into the story as a reader, but that it inserts the narrator as this omniscient, invisible, inescapable force.
in present or future tense -- you do this; you will do this -- the repeated you becomes a back beat of inevitability. the character is being moved from page to page by the voice of god, and we can see god's shadow on the wall. the you is so bound by the constraints of their own character, their own nature, that they could never have chosen another path. it creates an undertone of horror in any genre for me. the story is that there could be no story other than the one the narrator chooses to tell.
#highly unrelatable content i know#but it compels me because it's both so close in to a character's experience and notably separated from it#i remember reading choose-your-own-adventures as a kid and being like ok sure i'm at sleep-away camp and can go right or left in the woods#but who is offering me the choice?#on writing
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New friendship, who are they?
I tested out a new set of beads for this reading. It was really fun.
This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.
Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐
About me | Masterpost
Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)
BLACK
This might be someone who has their North node conjunct your ASC. You will be a breath of fresh air to them, they will want to learn a lot from you, at the same time, feeling a little bit out of their depth and uncomfortable. Your way of acting is completely different from their usual friends and your outlooks are also different from theirs. But they will sense that they can grow with you, you embody the path that they need to take. They're likely younger than you or less experienced than you.
They're a hardworking individual with a serious mindset. I think they can be pretty quiet, timid at times. They think a lot before they talk and consider the consequences of their words. You probably won't have much success in trying to small talking them. They might even seem closed-off, so frivolous chit-chat seems out of the question. But their attitude will change when you approach them with more serious topics, an agenda in mind, maybe you could ask for their help or they could ask for yours, a great excuse to start a conversation. They can be pretty stubborn in defending their viewpoint, so don't poke fun of them.
You're likely to meet them at your workplace or where they are working. They could be providing a certain service to you, frequently, so you begin to talk more to each other. You might casually mention one of your hobbies and you guys would click. And from that point onward, there will be opportunities to expand your social circle, you or them will introduce each other to their circle of shared interests. It will take time to get close to this person, even when both of you have the desire to get to know each other. They hide a lot of their more sensitive and soft side, I think that by being friend with you, they will have a chance to bring out this side more. This group is quite short because there's still a lot for this person to uncover and learn about themselves, they haven't come to their true sense of self yet. This person will look up to you a lot. In turn, they will boost your confidence and make you feel appreciated.
★Possible astrology placements: Aries, Scorpio Sun/ Sun conjunct Pluto, Pluto in 1st house, Moon in Taurus/Moon in 2nd house, Saturn in 3rd house, Mercury in Capricorn, Venus in Pisces, Mars in Cancer
SILVER
I get a strong Sagittarius or Jupiter energy from this new friend. They have a strong yet very graceful character that will inspire you a lot.
This friend will come in when you are about to turn a new page in your life, ready for a new phase. The moment you're about to step out of your comfort zone, the universe will introduce you to them, so that you will have an easier time adapting to changes. They will help you unravel the knot in your psyche. Whatever hangups you are having, they will work with you to address them. They will be stern and blunt about it, there's no getting away. At times, you will feel so triggered by them that you want to quit, to end this connection, but fate will keep you guys together and you will be grateful for their perseverance and faith in this friendship.
The first thing you will notice about them is their voice and the way they talk. They could be a fast talker, animated in their gestures and have a lively, mischievous expression. They are a compelling conversationalist, you won't get bored talking to them, exchanging ideas with them will be a joy, an eye-opening experience. Because they will expand your mind, introduce you to many subjects that before that, you had thought uninteresting, but through them, through their enthusiasm, you will find a new interest for these subjects.
You guys might work together or in the same environment a lot. There's a sense of helping each other, walking together side by side. You probably will travel a lot with them. This will be an equal relationship, there's a balanced give and take between you.
This person could have changed their home a lot. They don't have a very stable ground to rely on. They can have an air of being standoffish, but that's just their independent energy. But they can feel lonely easily. They feel that something about them is different from everyone around them, even their families don't understand them enough.
You might observe that they tend to fight against social standards, what's trending, they hate being a follower, mindlessly doing something just because everyone else is doing it. So they definitely stay away from those famous places with 5 stars reviews on Google. They can also be misunderstood a lot by their friends and the groups they are in, accused of being individualistic. This saddens them, but they won't back down for it. Popularity is not their goal. If you're someone who is struggling with fitting in, being yourself in a group setting, then you can learn a lot from this person. In turn, you will provide a rare sense of recognition for their honest heart.
★Possible astrology placements: Sagittarius, Gemini, Aquarius placements, Jupiter in 7th house, Jupiter in Libra, Pluto in 10th house, Aquarius ASC, Sun/Mars in 11th house, Mars in Aquarius, Sun in Pisces
TEAL
This friend will come into your life during the period when you think everything is moving so slowly, there's barely any progress or anything exciting. They will prove you wrong. You will most likely meet them at work or on the way to work, or at an institution. You could have noticed each other before but didn't really pay attention. It would take an event or a third person to properly introduce you.
It will be a slow start, you won't click immediately, I sense that your temperaments can be different from each other's. You will find them a little mysterious, watchful, they seem to be the type that prefers to stay silent at first to assess the situation and the other person better. You would hear about or sense something spiritual in them. They might have a different religious beliefs or they practice an occult art. They could speak a different language, came from a foreign country or have travelled very far from home. You will be mystified and intrigued, but a little intimidated. There could be a period of time at first when you just silently observe each other without making a move. I think the first person to break the silence will be you and they will breathe a sigh of relief. You seem to be more carefree and at ease with yourself than this person, and seem younger too, even if just in spirit.
You will have many philosophical discussions with this friend. The way they talk is wise and gentle. They have an innate understanding of how things work, they probe for deep meaning and open to myriad kinds of experiences. They could have a very profound effect on your mind, asking you questions that you've never thought of before, but they will not be confrontional about it, they just want to ask the question and leave the pondering and thinking to you, the answer is not as important as the acceptance of the question.
They might have moved their living space a lot or rarely stayed at home. They're a nomad, always on the move. They like to travel, explore, could be with their friends, which they have a lot, or alone, they are fine with both.
You will admire their honest way of expressing themselves, their energy feels pure and straightforward, what they show is what you get. Even though they seem so serene and calm, later you will learn that they have been hurt a lot in the past. They might have a fear about commitment, past relationships failed them, so they can be more cautious in this area. You will bring a lot of joy to them, they will find your way of living refreshing and fun, they will want to learn a thing or two about your hobbies and taking them up. You guys will talk about all kinds of things, share the silliest jokes, being ridiculous with each other without care.
★Possible astrology placements: prominent Sagittarius, Taurus, Aquarius placements, Jupiter in 3rd house, Sun in 9th house, Saturn aspects, Moon in 11th house
BLUE
You might be intimidated by them at first but attracted nevertheless. They will remind you of someone you knew in the past or someone in your family.
This person has a strong and intense aura, they are the type that takes no bs from people and set in their way. They would wear a lot of black and red colour and look good in them. Their style would be bold but minimalist. They don't like to adorn themselves with unnecessary things and prefer a neat style for easy movement and activities. Yes, they will love to move a lot, they are active physically and need lots of mental and physical exercises to release the pent-up energy inside them, which is a lot.
You would meet them in a public place, could be a company building, an institution. Maybe when you're going on a business trip or study abroad, or going to museums, conferences, the lecture hall. You will immediately be impressed by their vibrant aura. They seem so self assured, confident, but oddly enough, they don't seem to be comfortable around a crowd. I wouldn't be surprised if they have encountered some jealousy or backstabbing in the past. The crowd doesn't usually go easy on an individualistic person.
They will complement you perfectly. When you feel nervous, they will be strong and confident for you, when you feel down, they will light up your spirit, when you are confused, they will sit you down and talk some sense into you. And I think you will do that for them too. They are an extremely loyal friend. Fiercely protective of their close ones. Their protection is gentle but firm. They will peer into your core and unearth every secret and dark corner that you have. But they won't use it against you. You will feel seen and understood. Just remember never to betray them or cross their boundaries, they can unleash hell on you. This is the kind of person that you want to be friend with, not make an enemy out of them.
They could have talents with words, with musical instruments, with painting. They have a sensitive artistic soul that can perceive the tiniest beauty and capture it into a lasting existence. Their mind can be whimsical but disciplined. They know how to apply rules and methods to ground an idea.
Jokes and laughter are important to them. They like mental games, various kinds of entertainment. They probably have some interesting hobbies that you will want to learn and explore them yourself. Watching them doing something will be inspirational. You will want to encourage them to show themselves more to the world to see, to shine brighter than they already are.
★Possible astrology placements: Aries, Leo, Scorpio placements, 5th house stellium, Pluto in 7th house, Mars in 1st house, Mars in Aries, Aries ASC, Pisces Venus/ Mercury, Capricorn Mercury
AMBER
This new friend could be your future travel buddy. I see one person is leading another to go on a trip. Travel and learning will be the centre of your connection with this person.
The first thing you will notice about this person is that they have a glibness to them. They could talk fast, walk fast, change subjects mid sentence, rambling on and on. But it will be fascinating to watch and listen to them. They could be younger than you, more playful, less care about the mundane, practical world around them. This person will be a bag of infinite fun to you. With them, you will be more relaxed and enjoy yourself more, you guys would think up mischievous bets and games to entertain each other. I keep seeing the image of two kids having fun everywhere they go.
But don't mistake this for their lack of depth. In fact, they are a lot more mysterious and spiritual than meet the eyes. Their approach to life is carefree but philosophical, they believe that doing good deeds will be rewarded. They believe in serendipity, in life's goodness and abundance, this makes them lucky, it's like a team of spirits is having their back. You would think this person is free of worry. They even think so, too, but they're haunted by dreams and nightmares, their worries and fears lie deep down in their psyche. You have to probe carefully to get a glimpse of that. But they likely won't let you do it, they will dazzle you with stories, with adventures that make you forget the elusive nagging feeling of something is amiss.
They're lucky but they're not lazy. They're actually a very hard worker and you will admire their work ethics. Financial security is very important to them. Sometimes to the point of obsession. They work hard and play hard. There could be an over indulgence of some kind. They can be a spendthrift one moment, then make a completely random purchase (and regret about it later). This person probably like to buy little trinkets or bathroom products (they will gift you a lot of that too). They take good care of their hygiene and are very neat. Their house might be swamped with little things, but they will be well organised and aesthetically pleasing.
You might meet them when you go for a vacation, a trip. I see a large body of water so it could be a lake, a river, the beach, the aquarium.
★Possible astrology placements: Gemini, Libra placements with strong Jupiter and 9th house influence, Mars in Taurus/Mars in 2nd house, Sagittarius ASC, Moon in Sagittarius, Venus in Virgo/Venus in 6th house, Sun in 3rd house
LILAC
You would meet this new friend when you travel back to somewhere you had lived there before or the place where you were born. Also you could meet them through a female figure, likely your mum or your sister, a close female friend. They might introduce you to each other or you will meet this person when you're travelling with that female figure. This could be a surprise encounter for you. You might have travelled to this place often but this will be the first time you see them there. Another scenario is a business trip, but the presence of a female figure will still be there.
This person could have an intimidating reputation. They could be a boss, or in charge of an important position in their workplace. Whatever they do, people notice them easily. They could look a little scary at first sight. Their features are sharp, and they favour a darker style. Fierce and confident. You will probably feel nervous when meeting them for the first time, being subjected to their gaze. You would feel your capability and proficiency are being assessed silently. You might have to work with this person, the connection would be strictly professional at first. They can be strict, demand a lot and don't like to talk about trivial matters. They're probably a person of few words.
But strangely, I don't think you will feel uncomfortable in their presence later, when you're friend with each other. If any, they could even make you feel more confident and more carefree. Even though they prize capability and have a high standard, they are also benevolent and can be quite forgiving. They might only act like this with a few people, those that have passed their assessments. You guys could remind each other of someone close, there's a sense of familiarity, being at ease with each other, as if you've been friends for a long time. This connection could happen suddenly, but it has the potential to remain strong and long-lived.
You might notice that they have some trouble voicing their thoughts. There is a pain hidden deep inside them, and you will feel compassionate for it. Sometimes you could even act as their spokesperson, helping them communicate better. You guys will become the unlikely sanctuary for each other, no matter how much different you look outside.
★Possible astrology placements: Capricorn, Scorpio placements, Mercury in 8th house, Mercury-Saturn aspect, Sun/Mars in 10th house/ in Capricorn, Sagittarius Venus, Mars-Pluto conjunction, Sun-Moon conjunction
#pick a card#tarotblr#witchblr#tarot reading#crystal reading#lithomancy#pick a pile#divination#tarot#tarot community#astro community#astrology#astro#crystal#witch community#pick a stone#astroblr#tarot witch#occult
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Character flaws that would have been more compelling for Will to have to overcome in TSATS instead of "uh oh my boyfriend is a little bit edgy and that came as an unexpected shock to me even though he wears black and has emo bangs":
Struggling with setting boundaries and being honest when things bother him. As a healer he always has to put other people first, it would be interesting to see him approaching a relationship the same way where he feels the instinct to put Nico's feelings and wellbeing above his own, following him into Tartarus even though it is extra hard for him as a child of Apollo to be down there. It feels so much more authentic for Will to keep quiet about his negative thoughts rather than to blurt out all these criticisms about the underworld. And then Nico could feel hurt that he's hiding something from him for the drama, and Will could grow by allowing himself to communicate better even if he has negative things he wants to talk about
Fear of abandonment but ground it more with his real experiences instead of him just randomly panicking about Nico leaving him behind. Michael and Lee both died and left him alone after he got close with them. His dad was generally distant his whole life, he finally got to spend time with him but only under dangerous circumstances and all too soon hes gone again. Will's mom was the only constant in his life but after monsters started attacking he had to live at camp away from her for most of the year. This results in generalized superstition and anxiety that every time he has a good thing the universe takes it away from him, maybe it makes it harder for him to allow himself to get attached in a deeper way. It would be interesting to see him being the one that was more upfront with his emotions and about liking Nico at the beginning, but as their relationship goes on he struggles with more serious things like saying I love you or imagining a future together because he feels like once he does it will be taken away.
Flip the TSATS struggle on it's head and have Will secretly be very into all the dark underworld stuff but feel like he has to repress that because it's weird and people judge him. Being a healer is already a little dark and intense, I feel like Will wouldn't be scared of the undead but somewhat fascinated. Like you're telling me he wouldn't love to examine a walking skeleton and see how the bones move and connect? Growing up as a son of Apollo everyone expected him to be sunshiney and positive and so he tried to hide his weirder interests but oh my GOD he has so many questions for Nico about underworld magic and it's so hard to play it off. You could still emphasize the yin and yang of Nico having lightness and Will having darkness but make it feel less judgemental to Nico this time
Basically I just take it as a personal offense that Will would ever be critical of Nico's sarcasm and grunge aesthetics. HE'S INTO IT!!! HE HAS A THING FOR EDGY MEN OK!!! THIS IS THE GUY WHO SAID HE WOULD GO ON A DATE WITH DARTH VADER just you TRY and tell me that prequels Anakin was not his bi awakening and the blueprint for all his future crushes.
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joffrey and jon anti parallels makes me crazy in relation to jonsa : joffrey = king/prince who's secretly a bastard, jon = a bastard who's secretly a prince heir.
both have Uncle/dads(joffrey is literal😭) wrapped in secrecy plots, joffrey knows who his mother is jon does not. they both THINK they know who their father is but its false.
jon has close and complicated ties with his siblings/family, joffrey has complicated but distant almost non existent ties with his family.
Sansa dreams of marrying joffrey the "rightful dragon heir" at the beginning only to hate him and sansa doesn't think much of Jon earlier only later in the books does it hint at them getting closer
looking at all of this its impossible for me to think grrm wouldn't pull an irony stunt with jonsa, considering the ashford theory and them having reversal roles in sansa's beginning and end plot points
the joff/jon anti parallels are so special. like i will die on the hill that grrm is one of the great literary geniuses of our time because of the way he interlaces storylines, plays into stereotypes to subvert them, mirrors and plays with themes between all his characters. you could dedicate your life to analysing them (and people have) and still always have new things to discover and discuss.
the ‘prince who is really a bastard’ vs ‘bastard that is really a prince’ parallel is fun on its own. but when you add an extra lens of both their (real and potential) relationships with sansa it’s enough to make me feral.
i think it’s interesting how grrm really reinforces the joff/jon contrast (and positions sansa as a nexus within this contrast) when they both (essentially) deliver her a head. joff, her perfect fairytale prince, gives her her father’s head. jon, the prince hidden in plain sight, beheads janos slynt and answers her prayers. though this isn’t known to either of them, it’s an interesting connection that i find hard to believe was coincidental by grrm. the head joff gave her fractured her dreams and belief in songs/hope. maybe when she learns about the head jon (inadvertently) gave her, it will contrast again with joff, by reigniting a sense of hope and love….
it would be such a compelling way to bookend sansa’s romantic experience.
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It's really such a waste that they haven't done anything more with Charles considering how interesting of a character they set up. Aside from being the canon "Desert Bluffs! Carlos" and therefore being connected to two of the most beloved characters in the podcast, which is obviously something that would make people interested in him, what we see of his character outside of that is compelling.
he's from outside of Night Vale and Desert Bluffs, but not from a "normal" place like Carlos and any of the other characters who we actually see something from, like Nilanjana and Kareem. He's explicitly from Cactus Park, a town we know next to nothing about but is close enough to be competing in local football matches with nv and db, and Pine Cliff, the town we know the most about outside of nv and db, and I find particularly interesting with the way Night Vale talks about ghosts. notably, both are, even without having a lot of info on them, canonically weird places. which we even indirectly see more of with Cactus Park in the Mudstone Abyss, with them sharing the experience of having certain "weird" things in both their childhoods
and that kind of adds to this almost duality Charles has, where he's both seemingly one of the most responsible and put-together characters in the show and, well, an insane freak. He's a good father who puts his son first and makes an effort to be clear and direct in communicating rather than avoiding or lying about any matter that might be unpleasant- but he's also a self-identified theocrat who is actively into some of the cult and dictator shit Kevin was doing, and it does take a special type of person to want to fuck Kevin from the moment he met him, at no point lose that desire after all the blood and gore decoration and aforementioned cult and dictator shit, and then afterwards decide that this is the guy you want to help raise your son. fascinating behavior I would love to know more about how much is because none of this is new or shocking to him. he lived in a ghost town and who knows what went on in Cactus Park
Perhaps the most interesting thing about him, though, isn't even anything i think we need to know more about, but does make me want to know more about him in general. It's the one thing that completely contrasts him from so many other characters throughout the entire podcast- which is his reaction to Kevin. He is the ONLY one we see meeting or even just seeing Kevin for the first time who isn't completely horrified and/or disgusted by him and his appearance. Relistening to the Sandstorm, I had to pause the part where Cecil says for people to "pray, too, that no one should ever have to meet this vicious wretch of a man" to listen to, well, Charles meeting that "vicious wretch of a man" and treating him like any other person. Like someone deserving of knowing and loving without an initial hurdle of judgment. and, again, he is the Only one we see doing this after Kevin is met with fear and bias throughout the entire rest of the podcast. Fuck, we even see some of the db citizens being afraid of him. The only other person, aside from the other db citizens like Lauren or Josephine who are used to the... everything, who maybe didn't have a negative reaction to Kevin is Carlos, but we never actually see that. And personally, I do hc that he was scared of Kevin at first. So having someone react differently- and kindly- to Kevin after years and years of no one else doing that? That alone would make me obsessed with Charles
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god damn it all this Aeor and Calamity lore has me liking Ludinus a lot more than I ever wanted to. I find him so fascinating and compelling as a villain, in the way that he reflects a lot of my favorite characters' flaws particularly from CR2, but CR3 in Bell's Hells at times self-defeating pursuit of power in order to win.
I'm thinking abt a couple quotes from Essek, bc he & Ludinus obviously have so much in common. By Essek's own admission, it was his inability to trust people that made his pursuit of knowledge at the cost of others so appealing, that made him lose sight of the hurt he was causing
In particular the second quote: feeling personally responsible for doing something because of your inability to trust anyone else. I think that encompasses Ludinus's ideology & motivation so well.
The idea of longevity/immortality being a barrier to intimacy is something that gets talked about with respect to elves a lot, and I think Ludinus encompasses that to its logical extreme. Ludinus is one of the last survivors who actually lived on Exandria during the Calamity. Most elves actually fucked off to the Feywild and didn't return until long after the fighting was over. Given Ludinus was a child when Aeor fell, I would assume that means his parents chose to stay on Exandria & he was born afterwards. (Which if that's the case, adds another layer to his resistance against the gods bc he was doomed to live through the war on the surface of Exandria bc of a choice his parents made before he was born.)
All the elves born at the tail end of the Calamity are dead by now, Ludinus lived at least 160ish years of it, and most of the elves born around that time would have been in the Feywild and wouldn't have the experience of seeing what happened to the world. Everyone else who survived the Calamity would have died hundreds of years ago, not to mention that only a third of the population even survived it in the first place. The thing that's saved the PCs (& Essek) time and time again is their bonds with others, having other people to support them & remind them that all the power in the world means nothing if you lose yourself in its pursuit, that there are good things in this world worth living for.
Anyone that might have had the chance to sway Ludinus from his path is long dead, either from the Calamity or old age. Liliana seems to be the only person he feels close to, but they're both bonded through their shared cause. Even other elves, the people with the longest memories, don't understand what living through the Calamity was like. They weren't there.
I know it was mostly a joke when Laudna suggested Ludinus go to therapy, but at the same time where would he go? One of the things that helps PTSD is a sense of community, feeling like there are other people who share your experience, but there isn't anyone that shares Ludinus's experience (Not to mention anything resembling a therapist on Exandria would most likely draw power from a deity, which Ludinus is understandably opposed to).
That sense of isolation is something that comes up again & again among CR PCs. CR2 is the most obvious, but it's something plenty of the CR3 characters have been through as well. Ludinus would have been alone in his trauma for hundreds of years. That's completely incomprehensible to us. He would have watched the world move on and forget something that's so deeply affected him. Any attempt to confide in someone about his anger & pain would often be met with "this is punishment for our hubris" "the gods love us" "don't question their will." The very, very few allies he had would die out over the years until one day he's the last and he would be the last for centuries more. I feel like that sense of isolation, feeling removed from the world, bottling up centuries' worth of emotion would make anyone numb. he withdraws further and further into himself bc he doesn't belong. he works for centuries at removing the gods, becoming more and more desperate as he grows older, without anyone else to provide perspective as his plans grow more and more ruthless. (i also have a theory that this loneliness is part of what makes him sympathetic to predathos but that's a separate post)
Given his age & being the last survivor of the Calamity, I think it's nearly impossible for him to connect with other people. The only thing that gives him any sense of connection or community is his crusade against the gods; he only feels connected to others through their shared pain & anger, which never allow him to move past it. He can't trust anyone bc no one else understands what the gods are capable of like he does, nobody else understands what's at stake. He's the only person remaining who does, which means he's the only one who can do what he believes needs to be done.
There's a sense of duty. He needs to eliminate the gods because he doesn't trust the future inhabitants of Exandria to be able to protect their world. He owes it to all those who've been trampled on by the gods to do what they no longer can. I think he genuinely cares about mortals & he wants to defend them from a threat that he believes only he can see, but I think he cares far more about the thousands of dead he carries on his back than anyone alive. He can't simply live a happy life bc everything that once made his life worth living is gone. He can't let go of that pain & anger and move forward. His trauma is what gives him purpose and meaning; healing from it would be a betrayal to all the people that have suffered beneath the gods.
I don't think he's wrong about the gods, but I think he's seeking freedom from the gods' control, not realizing that he's letting himself be controlled by the dead. I think it's been a very long time since he spared a thought towards actually living. Bell's Hells keeps accusing him of wanting to take the place of the gods, or wanting to be seen as a messiah, but I truly don't think that's it. I don't think he cares about what comes after, if he's even thought about it at all. I don't even think he wants to be a martyr. His goal has never been for him to live in a free world, it's to ensure that there will be a world after he's gone, forever. he thinks if he dies without securing that future, he'll have failed Exandria & all the souls that have ever lived on it.
He's been completely ruthless in his pursuit of power because to him, he is fighting for Exandria's survival. That's exactly the trap BH has fallen into in the past, pursuing power even when it hurts themselves & their friends, losing sight of the actual people they claim to be protecting. Ludinus surrounds himself with terrible people; Otohan and Trent to name two, bc he wants the power they hold without getting his hands dirty himself. but in doing so he immediately removes any possibility of emotional intimacy. the people he works with don't trust him & he doesn't trust them. the one exception is Liliana & unfortunately I think she just met him far too late.
so much of CR is about the importance of feeling connected to other people, how those connections remind us of what's truly important, and keep us grounded, how when we begin to lose sight of ourselves, it's those we're close to that remind us. I think of Caleb & Essek, they both had goals they wanted to pursue, but in finding a place to belong realized those goals wouldn't actually make them happy. Ludinus doesn't want to be happy, he wants to have a purpose, and I know I'm a bleeding heart, but I think there is something incredibly tragic in someone who can't even imagine what it would be like to live a happy life.
I think of Fjord & Percy & Imogen & Laudna & Dorian, people who nearly lost themselves in pursuit of power, but chose to turn away because living for their friends was more important that dying for the world. Ludinus is the pendulum swinging in the other direction. It's incredibly tragic bc imo his intentions are genuinely good; he's arrogant and selfish and ruthless but i think he truly does want to protect Exandria.
I think there was a point in the past where someone could have reached him & he could have chosen a different path. i don't even think he would have necessarily had to give up his goal of removing the gods. if he had other people working alongside him instead of under him, who knows what he could've come up with? if he had people to pass the torch onto once he was gone, maybe he would feel like there was time to come up with a solution besides Predathos.
But he doesn't and he can't trust anyone bc no one else believes in his cause as fervently as he does. he can't trust anyone else to make the sacrifices he's willing to make so he never tries. He denies himself the aid & perspective & closeness that comes with trusting someone and becomes further and further entrenched in his mission to remove the gods at any cost. He's the only one alive left to remember the trauma of the Calamity: he has to carry all of it because no one else can.
#critical role#ludinus da'leth#cr3#cr spoilers#it's the ludinus essay#i feel like i shouldnt have to say this but obv none of this is an excuse#i just think viewing the themes he represents and how he acts as a foil to so many other characters#and the REASONS other characters on similar paths chose differently#is so fascinating#i think interpreting ludinus as a man who truly does care abt the world above all else#is soooooo much more interesting#than seeing him as someone obsessed with revenge or power#i want to study him like a bug
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Kung Fu Panda 4 - The Movie
The last really, really long discussion post (for now).
Major spoilers ahead!
This review is full of spoilers, so please refrain from reading through it until you've watched KFP4. I would highly suggest doing so, as I want everyone to form their own opinions without my influence. The movie has its flaws (some of which admittedly being a bit distracting), but it's a fun film that has things to offer.
Kung Fu Panda 4 is a fun movie (take that as you will) that takes its audience on an action-packed, surprisingly funny, yet relatively contained adventure on which Po doesn't really do much. It's an inconsequential, safe sequel that doesn't really hurt the franchise but adds close to nothing.
I had a good time watching the movie. It was obviously produced with its theater experience in mind and the action scenes especially reflected that priority. The humor was actually funny sometimes and I enjoyed Po and Zhen's dynamic. During the film, I was able to put most (most!) of my grievances aside and take the movie for what it is. I've discovered that the best way to watch KFP4 is with low expectations and an open mind.
I have a lot of things to say about KFP4, both complaints and compliments (though the former might be taking the forefront in this review), and I hope this review can help those of you who have seen the movie organize your thoughts. I've been having a lot of trouble with that specific aspect of things myself. Those who get it get it.
With that said, let's get into my full review of KFP4! I've been waiting for nearly 2 years to write this and I'm so excited to share every single thought.
I'm going to follow the format of my first discussion post and curate a bulleted list of my thoughts, followed by an analysis of each of these points. Keep in mind that everything I say is IMO and this is more of a rant post than anything else.
Here are my main points:
The Furious Five's role is comically minuscule in the context of the film. Their actions are inconsequential and add nothing to the plot (a confirmed last-minute add), and they have 30~ seconds of screen time. Shifu is also largely irrelevant.
Mr. Ping and Li's presence has little to no effect on the movie (though I won't complain too much because they were pretty fun to watch and this movie has bigger problems). In almost any scenario, I am adamantly against having characters present that don't add anything to the narrative; however, Mr. Ping is an exception. I love Mr. Ping. James Hong is a gem.
Zhen's screen time is not utilized well and her character is underdeveloped. She definitely wasn't annoying, but I didn't find her either compelling or funny enough to warrant the screen time she was given, especially considering it wasn't used to establish a backstory/strong motives. This makes me feel bad for the character because the movie kind of screwed her out of any substantial development.
The Chameleon, while complimented greatly by Viola Davis, is an underwhelming villain. Viola Davis is amazing in this film and I would suggest watching it for her performance if for nothing else, but the Chameleon is underwhelming considering the super cool concept behind the character.
The film feels very rushed. Apologies to those who disagree, but I think the pacing is atrocious and the final fight is anticlimactic. The movie felt like a word-vomit with no discernible intermissions that stops abruptly when the film ends.
I felt as though Po didn't change/grow as a person and the audience never had a chance to either bond with or relate to his character. His internal struggle is kept to a minimum and we don't spend a moment alone with him as an audience, which is disorienting and distracting. Watching the film felt like running into an old friend at the store who's too in a rush to have a real conversation.
The action scenes were strong with few exceptions. Creative art direction was utilized and I thought the martial arts choreography was entertaining and dynamic. I love the color palette of the film and many scenes were very impressive visually.
With my main points established, I do believe it's ranting time. Strap in, folks.
Let's start strong with the Furious Five: I'm gutted. Chagrined, despondent, crestfallen, etc.
The lack of the Furious Five negatively affects KFP4 so much, because not only does their absence hurt the atmospheric integrity of KFP as a franchise, it also forces KFP4 to bring in a slew of different characters—all while still noncommittally including the FF at the very end because I believe the marketing team required it—that clog up the cast a bit. It all goes to show how important strong, established side characters are.
The Furious Five are side characters, but the role of "side character" does not equate to being irrelevant, expendable, or exchangeable. I recognize that the Furious Five aren't super developed as characters beyond a handful of lines that allude to traits sprinkled sparingly among the members; however, I believe that the tiny bits of development we have been given have proved impactful in the past. Tigress's development in KFP2 is a prime example of how much narratively conscious changes (however small they may be) can positively affect these movies.
Because of limited runtimes, the Furious Five often operate as more of a singular unit than five individuals. Even so, I don't think discarding them is valid. They're so important to the KFP universe (to Po's universe!) and not having them with him feels so wrong. The Furious Five are fully integral to the heart of Kung Fu Panda, which is why I believe a lot of those who have seen the new movie have expressed something feeling "off" or something being missing.
I agree with this sentiment. To me, KFP4 didn't feel like a KFP movie. I don't need a Furious Five spin-off movie and I can be fully content with a KFP5 centered around Po's journey as an individual as was intended from the beginning, but he can't carry an entire movie on his back. As strong as he is in every sense of the word, he is only one character. He's the centerpiece of the franchise, but a centerpiece can only go so far without the rest of the design, so to speak.
For me, the Furious Five's absence is one of this film's biggest faults. It's huge and glaring. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, either, because the friends with whom I saw the film refused to talk about any other aspect of the movie after seeing it. Seeing them at the end was better than nothing, of course, but it was a disappointing culmination after eight years of waiting.
That all is to say I feel robbed. Despite all of this, though, I understand that there were reasons why the Furious Five weren't included in the movie. I don't believe the production team would exclude the Furious Five unless they weren't given a choice.
Shifu and Po's dynamic continues to be thoroughly delightful but their interactions are short and simplified. I would have loved to see more of them in this film, especially considering the extreme relevance of teacher-student relationships in KFP4. I (somewhat) digress, though, because the idea of Shifu having to live at the Jade Palace with only Po for an extended period of time is hilarious enough on its own. Maybe that's what the short film is about!
The comedy is odd but has some jokes that stand out. Po maintains a healthy relationship with his inner sass, which I think makes him more fun to watch and kind of eradicates the man-child verdict. Some jokes don't land, of course, but I genuinely thought KFP4 had some funny moments. Mr. Ping was consistently awesome and Po had some good lines sprinkled throughout the film.
As for Mr. Ping, he and Li Shan are the subjects of the film's B-plot as they follow Po to Juniper City out of shared concern for their son's safety. In my mind, they don't add anything to the story that couldn't have been brought about by other characters, but they had their moments of being entertaining. I enjoyed their silliness and thought they had a cute dynamic if nothing else.
Speaking of other characters, I want to discuss KFP4's deuteragonist and why I genuinely feel bad about the way her character was treated.
I want to let it be known that I'm still not on board with Po passing the Dragon Warrior torch to another character. While I agree that his arc is now calling for him to have a student, I disagree with the notion of him retiring from his DW role.
As I stated in my first discussion post:
Didn’t the initial significance and nuance of the title come from the fact that there is only one person who can be the Dragon Warrior, because the concept of the “Dragon Warrior” isn’t so much a title as it is Po himself? The universe (Oogway) must choose the Dragon Warrior because they are a singular being of legend. It is one person, and that person is Po. Wasn’t the point of the first film that the title ultimately doesn’t really matter because there is no “secret ingredient,” so to speak? The title doesn’t actually give Po anything. “It’s just you,” Po says, and that was the resolution.
When it comes to Zhen as a character, contrary to what I predicted I would think of her, I thought she was okay. While I was still a bit distracted by how out-of-place her design looks, I wasn't truly annoyed by her at any point and she and Po had some cute moments. Even so, I think their relationship could have been a bit more refined and developed.
While it's evident that Po and Zhen are meant to have a teacher-student/mentor-apprentice dynamic, I think their relationship feels half-baked. There were parallels that contradicted one another and ended up being confusing come the film's conclusion, and the nature of their relationship seems to vacillate depending on the scene. Additionally, the strength of their bond goes from zero to one hundred within thirty-ish minutes and left me with a bit of whiplash.
We're shown that Po and Zhen care about one another, but we're never shown why. They have a brief conversation during which they bond over being orphans, and Zhen says at one point, "You're actually a good guy," but that's it. This obvious lack of development is a bit disorienting because we're later led to believe that Zhen and Po care very deeply for one another when there's almost nothing to back it up.
A scene that sticks out to me when discussing this is when Zhen attack-hugs Po in a way that explicitly mirrors Tigress's hug from KFP2. This happens around the beginning of the third act, and while it had the potential to be an endearing moment, I think it fell flat.
The impact of Tigress's hug was brought on by her character's hardcore nature and reputation of being heartless, further strengthened with the knowledge that she was hugging Po (which was obviously way outside her comfort zone) as a show of companionship and fundamental understanding. Tigress hugged Po because he needed someone to recognize his strive for closure.
Zhen's hug had little to no impact because she had no reason to do it and it didn't indicate growth. She hugs Po because she's sorry for betraying him and doesn't want him to be killed by the Chameleon, but neither of these things are newly-established via this hug; we have already gathered by now that Zhen regrets betraying Po and doesn't want him to get hurt.
The hug is far from the movie's weakest point, but I think it's unnecessary given the context. I'm big on hugs in movies (an underutilized form of platonic affection, in my opinion), but it didn't fit here. I don't hate it, and I see it as an honest effort to bring emotionality to Po and Zhen's relationship, but it seems arbitrary.
Zhen and Po's relationship has a lot of potential and I'd be open to seeing more of them in the future, but I think some more thoughtful development needs to occur before I can humor it further. Even so, I can see myself featuring Zhen in some future post-KFP4 one-shots—sparingly, of course, because we have a lot of Furious Five content to compensate for.
Overall, they had a cute dynamic and some sweet moments but I'm not attached. I'm on board with Po having a student but I think their relationship needs a lot more development, something that this film unfortunately didn't give them time to either accomplish or earn.
Now, onto the Chameleon!
The concept of the Chameleon's character is admittedly super interesting. She's the deuteragonist's fastidious mother figure who feels that Zhen owes her a debt and as a result holds her to an impossible standard. That dynamic had the potential to be so interesting but I didn't think it was explored at all. There is no indication of Zhen having any internal conflict about fighting the Chameleon, no emotional complexity between them at all; it's disappointing because I think it would've added a bit of earnestness to the film.
Additionally, the idea of a shape-shifting villain is versatile. A shape-shifting villain gives those telling the story a lot of room to experiment with the protagonist and different ways in which the main character can be challenged and tested. It's yet another good idea utilized poorly. Just one idea: the Chameleon could have disguised herself as one (or several) of Po's family, friends, etc. and brought to fruition a new arc with his character (seeing as he arguably doesn't have one in this film), but she only disguises herself as Zhen very briefly in the movie.
Furthermore, the Chameleon completely relies on the powers of previous villains to pose any sort of threat to the main characters. She summons Po's former nemeses from the Spirit Realm (despite there being little logic in doing so considering Kai's literal evisceration) and takes their kung fu abilities for herself.
An excerpt from my first KFP4 discussion post that I think is relevant to the point I'm trying to make:
I don’t think it would be in the best interest of anyone if the past villains were to come back in any way that’s not a flashback (even then, I’m not sure I’d see the point). In all honesty, I thought that the whole point of the villains was that they died and stayed dead. They were defeated by Po once and for all as a testament to the idea of establishing Po's character growth and journey as a person through the bad things he’s able to overcome. It’d be highly contradictory to the messages of the other films if these villains were to suddenly come back.
While there was an honest effort made to portray the Chameleon as intimidating, I never felt as though any of the characters were endangered by either her or her army of lizard henchman. She's a visually appealing character (aside from her eyes, which I thought more resembled those of a gecko than a chameleon) and I greatly enjoyed Davis's performance, but overall I don't see the Chameleon as a notable villain.
The return of Tai Lung (had he been on his own) had the makings to be an excellent story, especially considering the importance of teacher-student dynamics in KFP4. To see him interacting with Shifu would have been incredible and could have led to further closure on Tai Lung's end (because I think that's kind of what the team was going for anyway), but it didn't happen.
It was nice to see Ian McShane reprise his role, but I wish Tai Lung's characterization had been more reminiscent of the way he was in the first film and more complimentary of his overall character arc. Tai Lung isn't a one-dimensional villain with a singular goal and motivation, and I couldn't help but feel as though the complexity of his character was simplified for the sake of KFP4's narrative.
Tai Lung's presence in KFP4 may be odd, but Shen and Kai's appearances are even more so. Kai, if I remember correctly, was fully obliterated by Po, reduced to literal particles on screen (which is kind of wild now that I think about it). Shen being in the Spirit Realm makes sense all things considered; however, Po and Li had no visible reaction to his presence, which seemed a bit unlikely considering Shen's deeds. This plot hole can likely be attributed to the fact that Shen and Kai's cameos (to my knowledge) were last-minute additions to the movie.
I have to talk about the pacing. I have to. I'm sorry, bear with me.
To me, the film's pacing is erratic and disconcerting. While I can appreciate a quick-moving narrative that doesn't dawdle on storylines that aren't interesting/important, KFP4 kind of flings itself too far in the opposite direction and ends up being frighteningly fast-paced. Once the credits began, I felt like I had been holding my breath for the entire movie.
KFP4 is confusing because while the runtime is standard for a KFP movie, it feels incredibly short. At the same time, the film's story moves at a breakneck speed and leaves little time for heart and development. These things culminate into a barreling boulder of a movie that simply doesn't have time to let its characters, story, or audience take a breath.
A fast pace is not inherently negative, but I don't think it worked in the favor of KFP4. The KFP franchise has always been very emotionally grounded (and just very grounded in general), so to see a film in which emotion/heart takes an aggressive backseat in comparison to action and comedy is jarring. While I think it's unreasonable for fans to expect the same emotional integrity as the original films to be present in the current and upcoming ones, I still think there's room for Po to grow and I felt as though the notion of him developing further was brushed aside in this film.
As for Po's growth, I felt it was nearly nonexistent. The previous trilogy wrapped up his character's journey beautifully and I know that KFP4 was bound to struggle with this particular aspect of making another KFP film; however, just because the strongest pillars of Po's character are established doesn't serve as a valid excuse to reverse his development and repeat what he learned in KFP3.
In KFP3, Po learned firsthand that he is capable of spreading wisdom and teaching kung fu. He also learns that he is constantly growing and that change is inevitable; there is always something more to learn.
"If you only do what you can do, you will never be more than you are now."
"I don't want to be anything more, I like who I am!"
In KFP4, Po pushes against this narrative despite fully accepting it in KFP3, actively reversing crucial parts of his character development achieved in the latter. KFP3 was non-ambiguously about learning to cope with change and responsibility, and I can't help but feel like KFP4 is simply copying this message while not adding anything to it.
Additionally, I felt that KFP4's Po generally felt less personal than he has in the past. In every KFP movie up to the franchise's most recent addition, I felt very connected to Po as an audience member. I felt like I was truly seeing the world of KFP through his eyes. I consider this to be one of the franchise's most impressive feats; it's incredibly difficult to build a universe around a character without making the audience feel limited to one perspective and one part of the world.
With KFP4, I felt both limited and disconnected. The world didn't feel as vast and all-encompassing as it has in the past and Po didn't seem fully like himself. This could be me nitpicking (as I'm prone to do), but I can't recall a single moment in the movie in which Po was alone on screen. Scenes like these are crucial for me because I see them as a meet-cute between the character and the audience, a moment for us to cross the bridge into their world in a way that's silent and intuitive. These little bonding moments are absolutely integral to feeling connected to a character.
Po's dream sequence in the first KFP movie is one of the best examples of this. It presents his aspirations, alludes to his way of life up to the point of the movie, and showcases his personality. During Po's dream sequence, the audience is quite literally inside Po's mind; we're there with him, seeing what he sees, subsequently feeling what he feels. Po is a dreamer at heart and makes the audience feel like dreamers, too.
In KFP4, I felt like I little to no point of reference when it comes to how Po was feeling. I didn't feel immersed in him and his world.
I know I've been very "doom and gloom" throughout this post, which is an exhausting mindset for everyone involved. I want to end my critique with something positive because I think some praise is deserved. Let's just say the movie could have been a lot worse, the details of which I'm sure you're all well aware.
The color palette of the movie is beautiful and somewhat reminiscent of the first film. While the animation style of KFP4 is far more simplistic than its predecessors, I was very impressed with its use of shadow and light. Po's many faces were also hysterical, props to those who helped make him as expressive as he is.
Additionally, the movie's action sequences were clearly thought out and discussed in great detail. The experimentation with camera angles was really fun to watch and I enjoyed the majority of the film's fight scenes. They were fun, bouncy, and entertaining, and quite likely reinstated audiences's love of watching a cuddly panda kick butt.
Congratulations, you've reached the end! Thank you so much to all of you who took the time to read this unnecessarily long and detailed review. As long as I help someone translate their conflicted feelings into coherent thoughts, I'll call it a win.
I want to reiterate that I don't hate Kung Fu Panda 4 and I had fun while watching the film. It has its flaws and there are a lot of aspects that I dislike, but the effort of the crew is obvious and I greatly admire and respect the hard work put into the film by those who worked on it. This does not at all excuse my issues with the movie, but it's worth saying.
As for the future of the series, I only hope that the next installment is more considerate of the franchise's origins and why Po's story is being told in the first place. I fully believe that another sequel could be good given a strong, passionate crew with a great understanding of the characters and world (and I wouldn't be averse to some previous directors returning, just to put it out there).
Thanks again to those who took the time to read this crazy excuse for a movie review. Feel free to either disagree with me or add things in the replies/reblogs, I'm always looking for more thoughts to think.
Until next time!
#kung fu panda 4#kung fu panda#dreamworks animation#kfp#kfp 4#movie review#i'll add the actual picture of the furious five's cameo when i can get ahold of one of decent quality#my time has come#it wasn't THAT bad#i didn't love it#but it is what it is#it's a tentative 6/10 all things considered#free the five#perhaps i treated kfp3 too harshly#don't get me wrong the movie had good qualities and i can tell a lot of work went into it#a lot of missed potential imo#a lot of characters done dirty#i didn't even mention the score but i thought it was just okay#i wasn't wowed#i know close to nothing about composing though so i should probably just not even go there#credits were the best part both cinematically and musically#i feel mean but i'm not going to be dishonest#bc obviously you all simply must know how i feel about the silly panda movie#a more detailed version of the grievances i have w the dragon warrior plot can be found in my og discussion post if anyone's interested#as well as my thoughts on bringing back old villains#might make some edits to this in the future but this is all i have to say for now
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2024 Book Review #56 – Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin
At the start of the year, I set out to try and read more proper literature. Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow was not a book I had ever heard of, or by an author I knew anything at all about. But it was on my local bookstore's and local library’s staff pick lists, and has a bunch of awards, and I think showed up on some list of Goodreads recommendations. So 9 months later I finally worked down the list to it and went in totally unprepared and with zero expectations or preconceptions.
The book’s well-written and well-executed, but I can’t say it really worked for me. Or properly, it absolutely was working for the first two thirds or so, but by the end just felt like it lost a lot of the touches that had made it interesting and was just drowning in its own sentimentality.
The book follows Sam and Sadie, two Californian wunderkunds growing up in Los Angelos in the 1980s. They meet in a children’s hospital, where Sam is being treated for a foot the was nearly shattered in a car crash and Sadie is visiting her elder sister as she’s treated for cancer. The two of them instantly begin bonding over playing Super Mario Brothers and begin a friendship and a creative partnership that will - as they grow up and found an artistically and commercially successful video game studio in the late 90s – define the shape of both of their lives, no matter how turbulent and conflicted it at points becomes.
For reasons that probably boil down to the audiobooks my mother played on road trips as a child, I’ve always had a fondness for books that track the broad sweep of a life or lives, zooming out and stretching across the years and decades. So I actually digested this a decent bit more easily than I do a lot of modern litfic that I’ve tried. For the first few hundred pages, it all even holds together very well, bouncing around the timeline and providing childhood episodes and context as it's relevant and making the central relationships compelling and emotionally plausible. Unfortunately a couple of experiments in form (one worked for me, one really didn’t) eat up a lot of page count in the final act, and entirely kill the sense of flow and structure. Not at all helped by the narrative voice losing a lot of its charm and the story growing wholly predictable (and a bit saccharine) in the closing pages.
I say ‘central relationships’ and not ‘relationship’ because describing the book as being about the relationship between Sam and Sadie is just, basically false advertising? Marx – Sam’s college roommate, later Sadie’s boyfriend, the business manager of their video game studio - is for most of the book at least as important a character as the two leads. He’s a much less interesting character – entirely too much of a natural saint, compared to how very flawed and petty Sam and Sadie are both allowed to be – but he’s a key part of the dynamic and most of the book is properly about different permutations of the trio bouncing off of each other. No other character gets a tenth of the focus and exploration of those three, and are really more props for narrative and to incite development than anything else.
The book has (until the end, anyway) a strong narrative voice that I really enjoyed, but which also may have caused me to set my expectations entirely wrong for what the book was actually planning. The only way I can really describe it is that the book reads like one of those New Yorker longreads that are trying very hard to convince you they’re not just rubbernecking some fascinatingly dysfunctional relationships and personal drama among some semi-notable creative figures. Your Bad Art Friends and similar. Deeply opinionated and gossipy, but making a show of seeming detached and objective, always making asides written from the perspective of the modern day and quoting interviews from years later about events as they occur in the narrative. As someone who is a slightly guilty fan of exactly those kind of longreads, it did make for a very fun reading experience.
But it also made me get my hopes up. Which is to say, the early chapters make quite a few references to how latter in life Sam and Sadie wouldn’t be on speaking terms, and how ‘something’ happened at Unfair Games in 2005. I was looking forward to something some messy and newsworthy interpersonal drama of the kind that doesn’t leave either of them (or anyone) looking good. The falling out does occur, but in a way that’s mostly just piles of misunderstandings and a stubborn refusal to communicate from both of them. The company always stays ostensibly together, and things never get much worse than quietly cherished bitterness and a refusal to speak. Which feels very emotionally believable, as incredibly frustrating as it is. The dramatic rupture that happens in 2005, well-
The book’s use of violence always feels slightly unreal. It intrudes on the narrative in ways that, like, they are things that happen, but feel so exaggerated and on-the-nose they took me out of the reading experience, at least a bit. A woman jumps off her balcony to her death and happens to land right in front of a young Sam. His mother stops her car on an LA highway to avoid hitting a dog, and he asks her something that keeps her talking and not moving for the crucial moment before an SUV slams into them, killing her and permanently damaging his foot. And the great end-of-second-act rupture that occurs in 2005 is a pair of homophobic gunmen storming into their office and shooting Marx because their cozy MMO lets gay people get married. Any one would have been fine, but combined they make the illusion of violence as random and capricious wear a bit thin and the writerly artifice underneath a bit too clear, at least for me.
As far as period pieces go – the story isn’t nostalgia bait, but it isn’t not nostalgia bait, either? It’s a few years before my time, so I suppose I just don’t appreciate it properly – the experience of growing up in and living through the late ‘80s through 2000s is one the book cares deeply about replicating. It generally does an excellent job making things feel of-the-moment, if occasionally by having the narrative draw pretty heavy-handed comparisons to what would be different in the present. The aesthetics (fashion, public art and marketing, fads and consumer trends) are all there, and the characters experience them like people to whom they’re novel and trendy. (Personally I could have done with a bit less effort spent describing every single outfit, but if I had memories of what people actually looked like wearing them I might appreciate it more.) It does similar things with LA and (to a far lesser extent) Boston – every other place the book touches on feels vague and a bit unreal, but LA is rendered with a real sense of place and love for the city and it’s little eccentricities.
The area where the book is absolutely nostalgia-bait is video games, and the whole heroic era of rapid changes and improvements to the medium where new boundaries were being crossed every year and a handful of sufficiently talented and dedicated first-time devs could create something genuinely revolutionary. The book even manages the neat trick of making almost every fake game the protagonists create a) plausible for the era and technology and b) actually seem like something I would want to play (less so the Pioneerville MMO created in the final act, as with many things). But I do genuinely want to play Master of Revels quite badly.
The book does share a common failing with what feels like almost every period piece, where by complete coincidence the major characters all conveniently happen to be on the Right Side of History for every really major (that is, from the perspective of the present, character-defining) political issues. This is made a bit more irritating by the fact that despite all being quite radical on the issue of e.g. gay marriage (or just not being even slightly homophobic) from the vantage of the early Bush administration, none of Sadie, Sam or Marx ever even conceive of it as being political.
The book doesn’t conceive of itself as really having politics at all – but again, in the way of a New York Magazine feature where having certain sets of liberal convictions is just a matter of personal decency and morality. A certain unexpressed but present sexual conservativism, a view of class where Sam’s grandparents owning and running a successful restaurant counts as being from the wrong side of the tracks, hyper-conscious of race but without much to really say about it. You’re all familiar with the style, I’m sure.
Anyway yeah, not a bad book by any means, but one that lasted long enough and ended weakly enough to expend any real passion or affection I’d built up for it.
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People that dumb Sanemi’s character down to being an angry chihuahua pains me. He is such a difficult character to understand and to actually break down because he never actually shows how he truly is even throughout his childhood. Genya even says (in one of the light novels) that Sanemi doesn’t smile often,it’s clear that Sanemi doesn’t allow himself to be himself in order to stay strong and keep his siblings safe. He closes himself off to keep people away because he believes that he’s cursed (eg, Masachika) and only hurts people. He doesn’t enjoy living at all and only lives for Genya,if it weren’t for Genya Sanemi would be dead. Sanemi has never really enjoyed the world,the only time he’s ever been happy or satisfied was when he was with his family or with his mother. Sanemi naturally is a soft person like his mother,he feels sympathy for others and cares deeply about people but chooses to keep it hidden. He feels bad for Muichiro after Rengoku died and he always checks up on Shinobu when he sees her because he worries for her after Kanae dies.
Also- The misconception that Sanemi hates Genya for saying that he killed their mum is so wrong, Sanemi admits that nothing Genya can ever say can hurt him. Sanemi forgave Genya for saying that,he knew Genya didn’t mean it, he just doesn’t want Genya to be hurt by him and to leave him behind so he can live a peaceful life.
Yes I agree, I believe all demon slayer's characters are complex, layered and compelling which is what makes them so loveable (and even unlikable to some). In my opinion, Sanemi is one of the best-written characters in his work and if I had to describe him briefly I would say he is someone who doesn't mind getting his hands dirty so his loved ones' can stay "clean", just like you pointed out he is a person of an extremely gentle and loving nature, he is very fierce with his love too. He is willing to weaponize cruelty and doesn't have qualms about being perceived as the 'bad guy' so long as his loved ones are happy and safe. That is precisely what makes him enjoyable as a character he is both the kindest and cruelest, so selfless he almost loses sight of who he is and what he wants, and continuously puts others before himself so I understand what you mean
His life is hard but he also experiences happiness, love and goodness and doesn't see himself as a victim (his ending also offers him a chance to care for himself the way he always did others)
And like you mentioned Sanemi does not hate Genya, and could never hate him (which adds another sad layer to their story). His aggressiveness was not driven by anger or hatred but by love and desire to protect, expressed in the only way he believed he could
Thank you for your insights ♡ and I'm sorry for the long answer (in the end I think even when people hate or misunderstand Sanemi, it only shows the depth of emotions he can evoke, proving that he is a character that could be seen and analyzed from multiple perspectives which is never a bad thing)
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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 킹덤/Kingdom.
Kingdom is a 2019-2020 Netflix series set in Joseon-era Korea, following the collaborative adventures of an exiled prince, a country doctor, and a scrappy mercenary who's pretty much the only one in this entire zombie outbreak who has a damn gun.
I have very complicated feelings about zombie media. See, in case you hadn't noticed, horror movies are never actually about what they're about. And a whole lot of modern zombie stories wind up being a) metaphors for fears of immigration by mindless subhuman hordes hell-bent on infecting the good, pure people, b) white male fantasies about how the downfall of civilization will put them back on top again and then all you DEI people will be sorry! and/or c) ways to let your protagonists just kill the shit out of a whole lot of humans but it's okay because they're not really human. Soooo yeah. A lot of zombie-flavored things I like, I have to like them despite all that.
But Korean zombie media tends to avoid a lot of these issues. (Maybe because Korea's experience with invasion is less Fox News Lies About Scary Brown Migrant Caravan Again and more [long list of actual historical incidents]? Who can say!) Kingdom is no exception. It's smart zombie fiction, where the zombies are mostly here to make the already-complicated mundane geopolitical situation just that much more of a fucking nightmare.
This is a bloody, violent, grimy, often downright gross drama, so if you're squeamish, you may want to pass on this. If you're into horror, though, and into zombie horror especially, go on and sink your teeth right into these five reasons I think you should watch it.
1. No one here has ever seen a zombie movie
You know how one of the frustrating things about watching a zombie property is seeing a bunch of otherwise competent, regular people act like they had all their cultural awareness of zombies surgically removed, down to making up cute words that aren't "zombie" to keep from saying the word "zombie"?
Everybody in this show has the excuse that they are living several centuries before even the possibility of zombie movies.
This story starts out pretty standard for a historical drama: a sick king, a pregnant queen, a crown prince in a precarious position, questions of succession, accusations of treason, wealth and class dynamics oppressing the poor, shady backroom politics -- you know, the usual stuff. And it never stops being about all that! It just also has zombies. Evil bastards don't stop being evil just because decomposing hordes are breaking down the door. In fact, that just makes them worse! And our heroes are at ends because they have no natural immunity to the genre they've walked into.
Sure, there are some moments of comic relief, but for the most part, Kingdom plays its premise absolutely straight-faced. How would 17th-century Koreans deal with a bunch of walking corpses? With period-appropriate tools, tactics, and mindsets!
In your standard modern zombie setup, everybody has guns, and then some special badass rolls in with a katana and everyone oohs and ahhs. In Kingdom, the wealthy have swords, the common folk maybe have farm implements, and there's one measly matchlock rifle in the party. For a few lucky headshots, you've got archers. For everyone else, things are about to get real up close and personal.
The characters also have period-appropriate worldviews that both inform their reactions to the problem and are frankly bizarre by modern standards. What if you had to deal with zombies in a place with cultural taboos against dismembering or burning dead bodies? What if people felt compelled to treat the corpses of peasants differently from corpses of nobles? What if the scholars won't act in their own defense because it's insulting to ask them to wield weapons? What if you can't ask certain important people certain questions because it's literally treason to do so?
The real moral of Kingdom is that there's not a situation so bad that devotion to Confucian principles can't make it worse.
2. That scrappy bastard
I'm not going to play favorites here-- Wait, what am I saying, of course I am. It's Yeongshin.
You know how, in any given zombie movie, your hapless protagonists survive because early on they find a party member who's about ten levels higher than they are? That's Yeongshin. He's cagey as hell about his shady past -- to the point where we don't even learn his actual name -- but he's going to come in real handy here, because he is also the aforementioned only guy with a gun, and he fucking knows how to use it.
And okay, I'm exaggerating about the gun shortage, but not by much. Firearms are rare, you need training to be able to operate them, and no matter how good you are, they still take time to reload after each shot -- if they even fire at all. (Also, ignore the part where everyone's aim is far better than shitty matchlock rifling should allow.) Guns are not the go-to weapon in this zombie situation. You can't just shove a bunch of pistols in everybody's hands and count on at least a few lucky shots. You could amass all the period-appropriate firepower you wanted, but without specialists, it'd be useless.
Yeongshin is fueled by some very reasonable guilt, since, uh, a nonzero amount of the shit that goes down is kiiiiiinda his fault. But I love that instead of giving him a death wish, it makes him even more determined to survive and do what he can to mitigate the fallout of his unintentionally terrible decisions. He knows he's far more useful alive, so to hell with taking the easy way out. Whether his opponents are living or undead, he's going to make them wish they hadn't messed with him.
This is a good place to note that the whole cast is great, from the thunder-voiced head of the evil family to the prince's wife-guy manservant to the doll-faced bitch queen. And obviously Ju Jihoon and Bae Doona are captivating every second they're on the screen, because they are absolute acting powerhouses and I love to watch them work. His Prince Lee Chang and her physician Seobi are compelling, memorable main characters who perform the important zombie-movie function of being the people you care about when they get put into dangerous situations.
But I walked away from this unable to stop thinking about Yeongshin. Bare-headed in a world of very meaningful (and often very silly) hats, he's feral and bitey and completely unfit for polite society. So of course he's going to wind up side-by-side with the second most you-need-to-be-respectful-to-him guy in the land.
More than anything, I love watching him work. He's a very physical character, but all his stats are in speed and agility, so he will just literally throw himself full-body against doors or into fights and let his momentum do the work. His actor, the handsomely exhausted-looking Kim Sungkyu, brings such a great physicality to the role. Yeongshin may be the Gun Guy, but he's not sniping from the back row. He's right there on the front lines, pulling off stunts none of the other characters would dream of trying. I cannot stress enough what a delight his action sequences are. It's such a good visual counterpart to the zombies, who also have no sense of bodily self-preservation.
And speaking of the zombies...
3. Zombie rules
I find that Korean zombie properties are the best in particular at zombie physics. Their directors seem very interested in pondering exactly what the weight of that many bodies would do. The answer is usually pretty gruesome and visually fascinating!
Kingdom's main use of zombies is by volume. While there are a few (memorable!) one-on-one scenes, the show delights in seeing just how many zombies it can fit in the frame. The danger is always from the sheer number of hostile bodies. You can use those numbers against them, if you're clever, but wait too long and you run the risk of being completely overwhelmed.
I've seen some people criticize the zombie extras by accusing them of not moving like zombies, which is the kind of nonsense you say when your only exposure to zombies is Slow Zombies. Kingdom's zombies are Fast Zombies -- they don't shamble, they swarm. They all just plow on full speed ahead until something stops them, and they definitely don't watch where they're going. Those extras do some incredible work flinging their bodies over obstacles and into solid objects. I sure hope one of the benefits of all that voluminous period-appropriate costuming is how much good padding you can probably stuff under there.
Continuing the thought exercise about what a 17th-century zombie outbreak would look like, Kingdom does some clever things with putting humans and zombies alike in situations you wouldn't find in the modern world, ones made possible only by the time period. I really like that it never forgets that part of the fun of this whole enterprise is making the best of the social and technological concepts that would have been present then. It doesn't feel like a modern zombie movie with incidental hanbok -- it actually makes the most of what a rural medieval setting both gives and takes away.
The rules Kingdom makes for its zombies are also an interesting take. You, the modern viewer, know how zombies work in general, but you don't know all the quirks of these zombies in particular, so you're learning at the same time the characters are. And sometimes you learn wrong! Sometimes you have to rewrite your whole strategy because you realize at a critical moment that both you and the characters misunderstood something very badly.
...And yeah, okay, it plays a little fast and loose with those rules sometimes, but so what? You know how this works! You know that the lead actors will dodge more and get bitten less than the random extras will. You know that named characters will last longer than their NPC counterparts. If you're going to hold that against it, maybe horror movies aren't the thing for you. Go do a Rubik's Cube or something.
4. The parts without zombies
Plenty, plenty of people have made the Game of Thrones comparison, which ... yeah, sure, I can see it. It wouldn't have been my first thought, but I get where people are coming from. And you know what, if you're a Game of Thrones enjoyer, you'll probably like this too. It hits a lot of the same beats and has a lot of the same vibes. It's kind of like if you shrunk Game of Thrones in the wash, until there were only two warring families and not a conlang in sight.
This show isn't historically accurate to the letter -- think of it more as AU Joseon-Era Korea, where specific people are fictional but the larger context is more or less the way things would have been. You never get given a specific year, but from technology and various context clues, you can kinda narrow it down to the 1600s. It never commits to a single year, though, which dodges a lot of nitpicks. Its fictional aspects are nice, too, because that means you don't have to know any real history at all. The show will give you all the information you need to understand the campaign setting, just in case your knowledge of medieval Korean dynasties is not up to snuff.
The conceit of the series is that some very specific devious political backstabbing and corruption has been happening since before the show began, making everything vulnerable to catastrophe. Unsurprisingly, the sudden appearance of zombies does not magically mend those rifts and make everyone come together! In fact, the reason the zombies are happening at all is related to these treasonous power plays, and while we never learn the full story (see my later note on the drama's ending), we get a whole lot of it. And it's a good, complicated reason! Here we return to the idea that zombie movies are always metaphors for something else. Set against the backdrop of multiple Japanese invasions during this period, Kingdom sure does have some things to say about the dangers of considering certain lives disposable in the service of the greater good.
I will be the first to say that IT TURNED OUT MAN WAS THE REAL MONSTER ALL ALONG storylines are tedious, so I'm glad Kingdom didn't decide it needed to beat that drum. The truth is, nobody's surprised when the bastards who have treated other people like shit all their lives continue being bastards in a crisis situation. It's the Joseon Dynasty. Everybody's locked into a rigid neo-Confucianist hierarchy. They don't need an apocalypse to reveal how much the people at the top would sell them all for a single corn chip. They've been clear on that one for a long time.
What this means is, if you're not traditionally someone who goes in for zombie horror, but you like a good political thriller and can roll with some supernatural elements, you might consider giving this one a shot anyway! It's not some hugely complicated and sophisticated plot, but it's still plenty to chew on. (See what I did there?)
5. Time to spend that Netflix money!
This show is gorgeous. It looks beautiful and it sounds beautiful. It's shot beautifully against beautiful sets and even more beautiful landscapes. Everyone's wearing beautiful costumes. What little CG there is is even beautiful. It's just visually a treat.
Light is such an important part of the show that I can't not comment on Kingdom's use of it, production-wise. The show is often shadowy as hell, but in a high-contrast way, as opposed to the awkward near-blackness of so much prestige TV. Even when it's dark enough that faces and details are obscured, there are still light sources that provide visual interest. Besides, I'll cut it some slack because it is a horror property. You should be watching it in a dark room anyway! And sure, there's some awkward day-for-night stuff, and transitions around sunset can be downright goofy, but if that's the worst of the jank we have to suffer through, it's fine.
As beautiful as it is, it's also very ugly. The story takes place over a period of time so short that barely anyone has time to change their clothes, much less take a bath. The grime just accumulates: sweat, dust, mud, sewage, smoke, spit, and all kinds of blood and viscera. By the time the story's done, everyone looks realistically beat to shit. (Bless those poor makeup artists, having to keep such close track of all the damage characters have suffered.)
I feel as though I should note for context that while I'm a horror movie fan, I'm still pretty squeamish when it comes to gore. I made it through Kingdom okay, but there were definitely parts I had to watch through my fingers. It hits the realism middle ground that gives me the wiggins, where it's neither absurdly chaste about bloodletting nor dumping comedic buckets of corn syrup on the actors. It suits the tone of the show perfectly! Just, you know, if you're a little tender (like I am), be ready to look away from the screen sometimes.
Korean historical dramas sure do have a real advantage on the wig front, in that most everyone is wearing some kind of historically appropriate hat or headband that covers the places their wig joins. And then you have Yeongshin, who looks so good all shaggy because that's clearly at least mostly Kim Sungkyu's real hair.
I've seen a lot of shitty low-budget horror in my day, sure -- but I've also seen a lot of shitty high-budget horror, where a production has a lot of money and spends it all on exactly the wrong things. Kingdom uses its funds wisely. It's not extravagant (except for the queen's amazing outfits). There are practical effects aplenty and some beautifully framed shots. It gets a little gimmicky with the camera work in season 2, but you know what? It's fun! The gimmicks are action-movie fun, and I will not criticize something for having fun in the midst of some otherwise grisly subject material.
It's also got great rewatch value. There are just enough secrets running throughout that going back for a second viewing makes a lot of things make more sense -- in, of course, a horrible way! But that's just the way we like it.
caveat: Beware of cliffhangers
The show is two seasons long, and it's clearly set up in expectation of a third season ... which never happened. What did happen was a separate, largely unsatisfying movie that tells the backstory of the cool character you meet in the last ten seconds of the last episode.
But that's it. There was also a prince-focused prequel planned, but that got scrapped before production even began, and that was four years ago. I'm not holding out much hope that we'll ever get anything more from the Kingdom universe.
I am not super-bothered by this, though, and here's why: The two seasons are enough to wrap up the main political plot. Most of what's left is zombie lore, and I am so bored by zombie lore. Still, would I have watched these characters roll around in that zombie lore for another six episodes? Without question! Are there loose ends I wish had gotten resolved? You better believe it! Do I want to know what the super-duper secret behind the zombies is? I sure do!
But I also don't feel like I got cheated out of an ending. Those two seasons hang on a story that's 90% the political succession crisis and 10% figuring out where on earth this whole zombie thing came from. That means what you get feels like 90% of an ending, which is pretty damn good by my standards.
Still, it's enough of a bummer that I feel I should give a little heads-up about it -- working, as I always do, on the principle that something can't disappoint you if you know it's coming. If you go in with the right mindset, you can be happy with what you get while not being sad about what you don't. And what you get in Kingdom is, in my little horror-loving opinion, worth it.
(Also, am I giving it extra credit points for how it did not sink my ship? Buddy, you better fucking believe I am.)
Ready to watch?
Netflix money means Netflix. It's got two seasons, and then you can make the decision about how much you care about the movie. I found it mostly disappointing with a few really cool moments, so it's your call if that's enough to justify your watching it.
The series itself is a pretty quick watch, too -- twelve episodes total, all 30-50 minutes long once you skip the opening and closing credits. You can blow through the whole thing easily in a single weekend, which is not something you can say about your standard Korean television season of sixteen hour-long episodes.
And then pretty please come back and do fan stuff for it! I couldn't find exactly what I wanted so I had to write my own. One Quiet Night remains one of my comfort fics that I self-soothe by rereading, which may be a weird thing to say about a smutty gay fanfic about a violent zombie drama, but hey, we all make our own fun.
youtube
Also, I know I usually end these with a cute behind-the-scenes photo, but this promo video is too adorable to leave out, so we're going with it instead. It's slightly spoilery for season 1, but not in a way that makes sense out of context. And if you didn't have a crush on Kim Sungkyu already, well, you will after this!
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One thing I felt like HoO really dropped on is the characterisation of the Argo II itself.
Where a lot of shows like Star Wars, Firefly, Doctor Who, and Star Trek really shine is where the ship itself becomes it’s own character.
I’m gonna use firefly as an example here, because I started re-watching it today, and this is something that’s a VERY key theme.
I think Joss Wheadon (the creator of the show) talked a lot about Serenity (the ship) actually being the “ninth cast member”. “Serenity” is the name of both the pilot episode and the follow-up movie, it’s name-dropped in the theme song, and the show is called firefly because it is a “Class-3 Firefly Spaceship”. And we as an audience really connect with the ship- despite the show being only fourteen episodes long (If I was only able to throttle 20th Century Fox… I answer to no god)- and I think the reason we do so is because every single character has their own personal connection with the vessel. Wash being the pilot (Also, if I remember it correctly, it being the place he met Zoë), Kaylee being the engineer, for Simon, it being a safe space to hide his sister from the totalitarian government trying to do experiments on her brain, and Mal and Zoë starting the ship together- Mal naming it “Serenity” after the battle of Serenity Valley which he fought in with Zoë (I could lore-dump about this show ‘til the gorram cows come home). And the whole premise of the show being about surviving with your rag-tag crew on this piece of shit that you love dearly, and just… keeping flying. Ugh, there’s something so magical in the writing that makes you adore the ship itself.
Other examples, like the Millennium Falcon, the TARDIS, and the USS Enterprise, are also good for this.
Now, onto how the Argo II itself:
The only person who really has a personal connection with the Argo II is Leo. The rest of the Seven just feel like they’re… on Leo’s boat. All the food is provided by the magic plates from Camp Half-Blood. Most of the piloting/engineering is done by Leo, and a little bit by Annabeth and sometimes Percy when they’re on the water. You never get the sense that any of the others really love the boat, or have any connection with it at all.
I think that’s the reason why the Seven never felt that close in my opinion. There was never a sense of community. Of people united by a common location.
I think, just love for a place in fiction is something really powerful to me. That’s where Harry Potter most thrived, not necessarily the plot, but wanting to be in the world, go to Hogwarts.
Camp Half-Blood had that charm and homeliness. So did the Waystation in TOA. Camp Jupiter didn’t for me, but I think that was kinda the point. But I never really got that from the Argo II, because of the way it was set up so that Leo was the only one who could really bond with it. And this is what makes Leo so compelling to me, is that he actually connects with his flying ship. I just feel like the Argo as its own character, similar to Serenity from firefly, could’ve been so good if it had been written right and was such wasted potential. It would’ve strengthened that bond between the Seven, and made that “familial” dynamic feel a lot more natural.
In conclusion? Everyone should go watch Firefly on Disney plus. It’s just fourteen, forty-five minute episodes, plus the movie. But man, is it worth it. You will cry at the deaths (why do all the good ones get impaled?). You will laugh at the jokes. You will probably say, “Wait- is that a young Zac Effron?” When a young Zac Effron has a cameo. You will wish you were as badass as River.
Idk, it’s 3:03am and this is basically a good idea of what the inside of my brain looks like most of the time. I’ve mentioned at least six obsessions of mine in this post.
#percy jackson#pjo fandom#pjo hoo toa#percy jackson fandom#percy jackson and the heroes of olympus#pjo hoo#leo valdez#leo pjo#leo valdez pjo#pjo#leovaldez#team leo#all da ladies luv leo#leo valdez angst#pjo leo#pjo hoo toa tsats#rick riordan critical#rick riordan criticism#riordan universe#riordanverse#rick riordan#rrverse#pjoverse#argo ii#percy jackson heroes of olympus#justice for firefly#firefly tv#firefly#serenity#leo valdez hoo
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I’m scared to ask because like I never done this before-
Anyway 👀
Do you think you can make a head cannon thing (or whatever they are called. 🥲) about a male y/n meeting (tanjiro, rengoku, or zenitsu) for the first time but y/n had like major anger issues because of their past (mostly because of their father) and they like later at night they like tell them that their dad was a horrible person and just and soft for the first time to them.
It’s fine if ya don’t want to do it I won’t mind at all :)! But if u do thank you! :D
Tanjiro meeting reader with anger issues
Tanjiro would never judge anyone for their trauma.
Tags: mild violence mention, anger issues, GN! Reader, sfw
Masterlist
AN: I have to admit, this gave me some troubles to write, as I tend to forget "the bad" as a form of coping mechanism. Lots of thanks to A and G for beta-reading and their help in figuring this out! Thank you for your patience and for requesting this! I hope you like it!
The first time Tanjiro sees you, you split your knuckles punching a man much bigger than you. The wrath and distress practically oozing from you make his nose scrunch up a little, but the situation is dissolved before he can step closer to you. You disappear in the next second like vapor above a cooking broth. It makes him wonder who you are, and why you have so much anger in you.
The second time Tanjiro sees you, he actually meets you. Your form is tense as you administer meds to a few of the slayers resting in Butterfly estate. He vividly remembers the way you laid out that man on the streets…
One of the slayers says something he can’t hear but the next thing he knows, you’re pouring tea over that slayer’s head, much to his indignation. Yet again, the anger wafts from your figure as you stalk away, overpowering any other scent he might have caught on you.
Is there anxiety? Is there sadness? All he can smell is anger, and it makes his head spin.
The third time he sees you, you’re sitting on the engawa staring at your hands, callused from labor and fighting. An undercurrent of the previous negative emotions seemingly soaked into your clothing, yet your face is blank. He has to wonder, are you always on the edge? Or does he just happen to see you in such situations?
He feels compelled to sit beside you, and perhaps offer you an ear and a kind word.
Perhaps it is his openness and warmth, but you find yourself spilling your life story to him - how your past left a festering wound behind, and especially how your father created a deep chasm in your mind, heart, and soul. You tell him how you simply can’t keep calm when someone reminds you of the inadequacy and loneliness you always felt when under your father’s thumb, the shame and the distress fueling your fists, and you cannot hold back.
Tanjiro simply listens. He offers no judgment to your character, because anger is not what defines you, it never did. He understands the need to use it as a protection, a wall of defense when anything hits too close to home, he understands and he doesn’t blame you. He doesn’t know how it feels to be related to such a person, but he knows just how to comfort you.
He gives you his hand to hold, and reassures you, tells you that that man shouldn’t call himself a father, tells you that you will find happiness, and that’s one thing he will never experience. Karma is free, and it has its way of coming back around.
The warm embrace you share afterwards is the start of something great for you both, the stars being the only witness to your exchange.
dividers made by the amazing @benkeibear Network: @enchantedforest-network
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#tanjiro x reader#kamado tanjiro x reader#kamado tanjiro#tanjiro#tanjiro x you#tanjiro x y/n#demon slayer headcanons#kimetsu no yaiba headcanons#tanjiro headcanons#kny headcanons#kny fanfic#kny x reader#kimetsu no yaiba fanfic#demon slayer fanfic
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palisade 55 / finalisade pt. 10
this is so fucking funny
incredible. they've done it. double feature finale. i don't even want to try and guess how many episodes are left. sometime around 44 or 45 i said they should do thirty more AS A JOKE
i'm not sure i agree that motion is the loose end that needs tying up with an armor astir sortie, but i still think it'll be fun and i'm really excited to get perennial onscreen. hoping both cori and elle can make it >:)
more to the point i gotta say questlandia did not hit as a finale for me, which i think was largely due to the changes in the pc cast and the lack of rp. it felt like the conclusion to a different season. (wrt all the delegate plotlines in particular.) i'm not entirely sure that this next sortie will resolve that for me, but knowing fatt it might well.
because i'm always curious about stuff like this, i am really wondering when they decided to do another armor astir sortie
okay let's talk epilogues a bit though. with the understanding that any/all of these may cease to be endings per se. brnine:
brnine ends up fulfilling the future they envisioned for themself at the beginning of questlandia--continuing the fight outside the mirage. a millennium break admiral, leading the revolution... it really does change lives huh
character of All Time, btw. not entirely sure if this is their ending as a pc but still. All Fucking Time
sorry to hear they broke up with both jesset and gucci. dating sim fail ending. married to the job [ghost of valence]
delicious however that brnine's kingdom-level "unfortunately" ending is a rise in cults of personality and popular hero-worship. that does feel like an accurate downside outcome of a revolution story focused on a crew of heroes where the broader cause keeps getting beat down and the main character crew keeps winning. (that's one detail that really delivered on palisade, imo.)
august and levi:
i liked the twilight mirage's role in these epilogues because it was so uneven. we have the mirage getting twisted around trying to figure out whether august's justice was done well because they didn't directly experience the invasion, while also starting to join the fight in the broader galaxy per levi's epilogue. the high-minded naivety forced into practice is really compelling to me. (cf volition's conversation with thisbe.) not that we haven't seen idealists before in the divine cycle, but i'm eager to see what an attitude of radical forgiveness looks like outside the mirage.
similarly i found levi's localized approach disconnected from the goals of mbreak/other pcs in a way that is... realistic to the character, but might just get overwritten in the next in-universe push toward connection and coalition building, because i don't really see fatt moving away from that framework. (it's not a bad one necessarily, i just don't think they're leaving it.)
anyway. august. man. deciding to join wakeful and then getting stranded for a week that turns into a year, and never quite getting up to it again... brutal. (also completes a very well structured arc.) there are a lot of voids left by unfulfilled desires in these epilogues.
but not in levi's! very hopeful final beat there. both for the character and for the revolution. partizan ended with mbreak reviled as terrorists, now palisade ends (uh. "ends") with a new movement and new hope known throughout the galaxy.
ctc+eggs breakfast is so accurate
thisbe and cori:
thisbe and cori started out with a mirrored pair of goals and now they have a (differently) mirrored pair of epilogues. seizing your freedom and launching off into the galaxy and then realizing that means you're stuck wandering alone. (which does hit a little close to home. lmao.)
very reminiscent of the sangfielle epilogues, by the way, but doesn't work as well after a full season of crew bonding imo
thisbe being able to know and acknowledge and grasp her own freedom, being able to follow her own curiosity, is such a huge win for her. she's come so far.
tbh i'm disappointed that the scattered shards of divinity goal didn't come to pass, because thisbe did get some wins there! two wins and a... something! so that didn't really feel fair. but the chimeric cadent and the afflictions being out in the galaxy does actually feel kind of hopeful to me.
(man, i really wish we'd gotten more about partial palisade and the planet of palisade.)
i have to say, i really liked how cori's epilogue went despite the massive wave of misfortune. the shift into wandering felt more fitting for cori, since she's had a whole arc about losing her place with the devotees. assuming she's coming back in p3, an arc about finding/rebuilding community would be lovely.
also elle getting yanked back by arbitrage was of course inevitable and thus delicious. i'm considering fic ideas. watch this space.
clem:
clem's fortunately/unfortunately was so funny. vindictive. austin being like "there's no one around to tell clem she's done a good job" followed by jack going "and gucci doesn't even like her". and then the only future she can see is one in which she's still powerless and not ruling anything because not even being an oracle can help clementine kesh. satisfying.
so anyway
it was nice to see eclectic again. pleased he didn't fully vanish from the narrative (a ghost!), and the new look is slick. i'm curious whether he's gonna try to mount an escape while separated from wakeful. maybe that's not even an option anymore, though.
who do we think is gonna be on the next sortie? levi for sure, and eclectic (unless leap), and like, it's gotta be cori. are brnine and thisbe coming back? are jack and art playing???
sort of a philosophical question here but is questlandia arguably the holiday special
god it's so funny that they've done this. when i first heard this was happening, i was initially like, this is kind of a failure case of fatt's black box pacing for the week to week perspective. but it is also extremely funny. friends at the table.
#fatt#palisade#fatt lb#palisade spoilers#hello world#ah. long post#well. i broke it up into subsections. so hopefully it is more legible
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June Reading Recap
Slower reading month on account of I got distracted by cdramas.
King Hereafter by Dorothy Dunnett. I don't know what to do with this book!!! It was by turns magnificent and difficult to get through. It definitely didn't hit me the way the Lymond Chronicles did/does, but even when I wasn't personally feeling it I can recognize a magisterial piece of work when I read one. The Thorfinn/Rognvald dynamic was probably one of the highlights for me, while it lasted. The premise of this one combines the life of the historical King Macbeth and that of Thorfinn Sigurdsson, positing that they were the same person. I did a lot of Wikipedia diving while reading, unsurprisingly. I recommend it for Dunnett readers, I think is what I'd ultimately say, or for historical fiction aficionados, but perhaps not more generally than that.
How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying by Django Wexler. I keep reading Django Wexler because I enjoy his work, and keep finding that while I enjoy it and find it fun there's not a lot of real substance. But this book's gimmick (combining "time loop" and "villain protagonist") was too pointed directly at me for me to not give it a try. And I'm glad I did! It was very fun, and yet again it felt like the real substance was not quite there. However, I probably still will be reading the sequel when it comes out. So you know, I can't be too hard on it.
Goodbye to Berlin by Christopher Isherwood. I feel like I did not exactly "enjoy" the experience of reading this set of interconnected short stories but I still want to recommend it to others, if that makes sense as a perspective. It also really made me want to read more generally about this period of time, both in fiction and nonfiction.
Assistant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Maehrer. This was totally a "let's just try something new for the heck of it" choice - fantasy romances are everywhere right now, this one was floating around in them and sounded potentially like fun in terms of concept, it was an impulse. I can't say it paid off. It wasn't an awful experience but I did find myself repeatedly going "why isn't this fluffy romance not digging more into its characters or implications" and the answer there is "that's not the point, Lise", I guess, and yeah, I think (English language) romance novels are probably just not for me.
The Law of Blood: Thinking and Acting as a Nazi by Johann Chapoutot. This was a really interesting book. It very much takes its point as "what if we take Nazi philosophy seriously as philosophy." I really haven't read anything quite like it before and it was definitely disturbing to read in terms of really...getting into the heads of How Nazis Thought They Were Supposed to Live, but fascinating for those reasons too, and the reasons of exploring how implications of ideology leads to specific real-world policy-making.
Translation State by Ann Leckie. Still haven't read anything else by Ann Leckie that gets close to the high of the original trilogy but I did really enjoy this one. It did make me feel like I need to reread the original trilogy because I've definitely forgotten a lot, and usually when reading something makes me go "I should reread this other work by the same author" it speaks at least somewhat well of it.
Qi Ye by Priest. Hard not to compare this one to TYK since, you know, same author and same universe, and ultimately this one I didn't like quite as much. I think I...wanted the whole "trauma from living multiple lives" to come up more and more often than I felt like it really did here, and the relationship between Wu Xi and Jing Beiyuan was fine but didn't have what I needed to particularly compel me.
Extinction: How Life on Earth Nearly Ended 250 Million Years Ago by Douglas H. Erwin. As something of a mass extinction afficionado (as it were), for the most part there was nothing in this book that was really new to me except for one little brief glancing note at the end of the book about the possibility that we are not yet into the throes of a true mass extinction event and that's good, because if we were it would probably be too late to really do anything about it. Overall, though, it feels like this book falls somewhere in a confusing gap between "true academia" and "slightly too academic for general audiences" in terms of the specific analytical techniques it analyzes when assessing different arguments for extinction causes." Interesting, but not one I'd make a casual recommendation.
Sha Po Lang by Priest. I was feeling sort of middling on this one while I was reading it in official translation release time so I decided to just read the whole thing to see if I wanted to keep buying it, and I think after doing so I've come down on the side of "probably not." It was good, but, to be blunt, not quite good enough to grab me in the way I needed it to for the financial outlay. I still feel like I'm chasing the magic I got out of Faraway Wanderers and (what I've read of) LHJC from Priest and haven't found it again yet. I think part of the gap here was that I really liked Gu Yun but struggled to care very much about Chang Geng. I did kind of love the Pope being a major antagonist, though.
So probably the other reason I didn't read much last month is because I'm having a hard time finding something to read to really get into.
I'm currently reading too many books at the same time due to a confluence of factors including "travel" and "difficulty getting into one of them." The list is: The Grass Crown by Colleen McCullough, A Fire Upon the Deep by Vernor Vinge, Silent Reading by Priest, and (on the side) Black Midnight Holds the BE Script by Teng Luo Wei Zhi. so hopefully I'll finish at least one of those this July.
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Stuck With Me || Kenny McCormick x Reader
note: characters are in high school
Drunken yells, and occasional shattering of glass, echoed throughout the tiny house the McCormick family resided in. Every shout and break only frightened the children of the family, no matter how much they were used to it by now.
Kenny knew he needed to get out again, and he knew exactly who to text and where to go.
"wanna go for a walk. ill come 2 u"
Without waiting for your response, he made his way over to your house so he could meet you and have one of your usual walks around the town. The two of you often did this when his parents had more intense fights.
Something about you brought him peace, but he had no idea what these feelings were. All he knew was that he's had them for as long as you've been close.
He looked up into the blanket of stars above him, and he watched a cloud slowly drift by the moon while it lit up the sky.
Amazed by the sky's seemingly never-ending beauty, he felt compelled to stop walking for a minute and just admire it.
Never in his life did he feel so small and insignificant.
"Please, God, if you even exist please give me a sign things are going to get better. Or at least a warning." He continued to stare, motionless, at the moon. "Give Kevin and Karen better lives, let mom and dad find peace, or just anything. Any sign, for Christ's sake." He spat his prayers under his breath.
"Just give me a fucking sign, please!"
"Kenny? Are you out here?"
He snapped out of his resentful begging and looked down to spot you in the distance looking for him.
"Kenny!?"
You had run outside because you swore you heard his voice yelling something and maybe something had happened to him on the way to your house.
"Y/N!" He called back, coming to his senses.
"Kenny! I'm so glad you're safe." You let out a deep breath as you both walked towards each other.
The two of you spent a while just walking around aimlessly, enjoying each other's company and laughing at the usual drunkards that littered Main Street at night. You brought up anything that would distract him from his undeserved home life... not that he calls that place a real home.
Later, you had found yourselves sitting on a bench by the quaint pond on the outskirts of town.
"God, the sky is so pretty out here." You were staring up at the sky, and Kenny thought the stars shined brighter in your eyes.
That's when his feelings had hit him like a truck.
He decided it probably wasn't best to confess immediately, he still needed time to internalise those thoughts and he wanted to experience what it felt like to have a real crush on someone while his friends tease him about it. He craved that sense of normalcy; a regular teenage life.
"Y/N?" He began. "Do you think... do you think the future will be okay for us?"
You continued to look around the jet-black sky as you answered him. "You, Kevin, and Karen will have better things one day. I'm sure of it."
"God, I hope so. But, uh, I meant between the two of us. Do you think we'll still have each other in the future?"
"You're not getting rid of me that easy!" You laughed as you finally tore your eyes away from the abyss and looked at Kenny instead, who was already staring at you.
"Believe me, I don't want to." He raised his hands in defense when you got closer to him.
"Good. You're stuck with me anyways." Feeling a surge of confidence, you laid your head on his shoulder and looked out onto the pond.
That's when he decided to sling his arm over your shoulder and pull you closer into him, the gesture making you both smile.
"Nobody else I'd rather be stuck with, Y/N."
#kenny mccormick#kenny mccormick x reader#south park x y/n#south park#south park x reader#south park fanfiction#fluff
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OC ask Ihz 1,2, 6, 11,13,15!
Does your OC have a voice claim, if so who?
She doesn't! Outside of, you know. Not Whoever Blizzard Normally Gets To Do Troll Voices, Yikes TM.
If she WERE voiced, it would be by someone with a low, raspy voice, using their natural accent.
Who's your OCs best friend? How did they become best friends?
Thorn, she bought him off his abusive owner ;)
Outside of her animals, honestly, Ihz's best friend is her cousin Vazkri. They grew up together--Vaz is just enough older that they weren't really peers or playmates, but they're similar enough in age that they became close friends as adults. They have wildly divergent personalities, and very different lives; but they trust each other implicitly and will always turn to one another first in a crisis.
If your OC is in a fantasy setting, what profession would they be in the modern day?
Either a farrier or, like, an owner-operator long-haul trucker who drives with her rescue pit bull in the passenger seat (and has spent a small fortune on custom safety harnesses for him).
Modern AU Ihz known mostly for responding to supervisors trying to throw their weight around by letting them scream themselves lightheaded and then going "I'm a Teamster." and then continuing to do things the safe way.
(She has Beverly on speed dial.)
What was your inspiration for your OC?
I wanted to play An NPC (TM), both for fun and also because I'd had the thought that it might MASSIVELY improve immersion if I had a character who had a REASON to go on, and be approached for, fetch quests.
Hence: IHZ! It's not annoying or immersion-breaking for her to be sent on stupid fetch quests while the world ends, because she's not An Adventuring Champion who could be doing something better with her time. The fetch quests ARE her job, and the plot that keeps happening to her is the unwanted interruption.
It also really just...enhances the experience, honestly, when you play a mid-rank character. I think most MMOs would be significantly stronger, narratively, if they would lean into that--you're clearly NOT Azeroth's Greatest Goddamn Champion because there are a bajillion of us, so why treat it that way? You can have your power fantasy without being Azeroth's most special little princess man. Rinda, Talet-and-Vel, Vaz, Levaden, Ihz--they feel like PART of the world, not the artificial center, which is why it's so easy for me to slot them into fic.
So, yeah! Ihz is there because I wanted a character who could interact with the plot from a very specific perspective, without feeling jarringly artificial, and where sidequests would feel more organic and compelling. And I got her!
Does your OC have a rival? How did it start?
Uh, I think her primary rival is [checks notes] Garrosh Hellscream??? This would be news to him, as he was completely unaware she existed at any point.
Ihz's true interpersonal rival is whoever wrote the regulations on approved tack choices for the Horde military.
Will your OC ever retire? Do you see them making it?
In order to answer that question, Blizzard would have to have any kind of coherent presentation of trollish lifespans at all.
I think Ihz will always have SOMETHING she's doing to keep herself busy. If she gets to the point where she can't physically do the mail route anymore she'll pivot--really WILL become a farrier (not exactly a physically undemanding job, but the physical requirements are different) or a stablemaster or a horse tamer or a warg trainer or something. Raise dogs in the Barrens.
There's no reason she won't make it. If she doesn't, though, it'll be because she called the wrong bluff. Though, knowing Ihz--she wouldn't call it a mistake. She's only that bold when there's someone she's protecting, so she'd know the risks and decide she had to try.
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