#but isnt love supposed to feel easy?

[critterofthenight]

it's so scary that there isn't a narrative irl that would keep us from fucking up too bad

[heartorbit]

figure skating set right now please. thanks

[featherymainffins]

I always get weirdly excited about left-handed characters because my mother is left-handed but the government forced her to use her right hand when she was a child and as we all know that fucks with your development badly and she has never been able to use either of her hands to their full extent form then on, so even though she does a lot of things with her left hand these days, she has to eat the way right-handed people do, for example.

And idk it always just felt nice to show my mother a left-handed character like "Hey mom this cool character is left-handed just like you : )!!!" idk I guess I've always felt like she still feels bad about being left-handed.

And anyway it's kinda weird not being able to do that anymore. I'm so used to going "Look mom this character is left-handed : D!" that I was like "Slay can't wait to tell my mother that Gortash is left-handed!" until I remembered. Like oh can't do that anymore. Forgor.

[bitegore]

there's a particular way some of the more poetic writers on here will construct things, which goes something like this:

i will rip my heart out for you and hold it bleeding in the air for you all to see. you will now love me, because i have cut myself open and spilled my blood all over for you, and that makes this Real, instead of fake. The rewards for vulnerability is love which means that every word I write should sound like it's been cut out with a knife, but in a pretty, sensitive, and fundamentally hopeful and ready-to-recieve-kindness-and-love manner. This will make me recieve kindness and love.

and i don't have a lot to say about it, except that it makes me feel very, very uncomfortable. and i don't like it. all the rewards i've ever gotten for showing somewone where someone had stuck a knife in me was finding out that people are really good at twisting, even when they're trying to help pull it out.

[jackass-jones]

I’m getting kinda feral about Ryuki today so I wanna bring up something else

Since the entire Ryuki side of the story is pretty much just everything he tells Mizuki about what happened 6 years ago, this begs the question: is his summary including the parts that are from the future, or is this just a writing error?

It’d make sense if it was just an error like. First off if Ryuki could see the future that’d be a whole mess, plus the future he’s seeing here isn’t even in the right timeline, it’s all what happens on the B side. Plus, the whole twist of not knowing what the proper timeline is is already a pretty iffy twist because it’s only a twist to the player, not to the characters. Since it’s kinda flimsy to begin with, I can see how the writers could’ve just completely fucking forgotten to fix the Ryuki side to make sense with this twist. They kinda forgot about Ryuki a lot in the second half of the game after all and a lot of the writing around him is messy as hell so I can believe it

But, let’s pretend this all WAS intentional, that Ryuki DID include information about the future in his story to Mizuki. This would go perfectly with the idea that Ryuki is a frayer and that he’s being haunted by knowledge from the past and future and is incapable of distinguishing the two. It’s already true that Ryuki has trouble telling what year it is (during the practice launch on the Mizuki side we see Ryuki in a trance waiting for Shoma to get off the ferris wheel even though that’s an event that happened 6 years ago, Ryuki makes constant references to Date being disappointed in him,etc) so it’d make sense if he got his wires majorly crossed when telling Mizuki what he remembers about the case from 6 years ago. If this is the case, then Ryuki’s powers can extend across not just past and future, but also multiple timelines

It’s not like Ryuki is the only one with this power. Date remembers when he was hospitalized in the Mizuki route during the true ending and gets confused about why he’s remembering things that never happened. Mizuki is able to remember Jin being referred to as the almighty despite her not hearing about it in that timeline. But it is interesting that Ryuki is the only one who seems to be plagued by his knowledge. The other two protagonists will be just kinda weirded out by their ability to know things that didn’t happen, but they recover pretty quickly. Ryuki though, he doesn’t know what timeline he’s in and he’s constantly speaking and thinking in riddles and drowning himself in liquor to forget everything and is only able to function in the A side BECAUSE the somnium failed and he wasn’t able to remember tearer’s true identity

Basically Ryuki cursed with evil timeline powers and it makes me wonder if he’s an unreliable narrator on purpose or on accident and honestly, I don’t know if I wanna know

Had an epiphany last night and I haven’t seen anyone talk about this (maybe because it could be just so obvious no one felt the need to but shhh) but look here at the veeeery beginning of the aini flowchart

We got the Ryuki somnium as the first split and as we know, this split happens based on whether or not you (or ryuki in this case) know the name of Tearer. You can only get the Mizuki side of the story if you have played the Ryuki side and have heard Tearer’s name. The somnium will also be much more complex and dangerous

So essentially on the B side, the psync is unsuccessful. Mizuki doesn’t really help Ryuki, and she barely learns anything about the hb case. Ryuki is left in the same mentally unstable state he was before, and he can’t hold a conversation without babbling and laughing maniacally. This leaves Mizuki to do her investigation without any of the past help at all, which is how the true route of the story is supposed to go

This isn’t anything new, we know this. What I do wanna revisit is the A side, where Ryuki doesn’t remember Tearer. The psync is actually successful and the results are significantly different than the B side. Ryuki sobers up and is able to tell Mizuki everything that happened to him 6 years ago. So basically the Ryuki route (the parts from 6 years ago) is everything that he’s telling to Mizuki

This means that there’s a whole separate version of the story in this timeline where Mizuki learns everything about the past, including what happened to Date. And what’s getting me feral about this is. How did the investigation proceed afterwards??? Did the two of them work together to finish the case? Did Mizuki get a chance to mourn Date? Did she lash out at Ryuki? Did Ryuki even mention his involvement with Tearer or Bibi’s existence at all? How would everything had changed if they worked together?

IM GOING INSANE I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE A SIDE TIMELINE DAMMIT-

[sheepispink]

Idea by @isabellaswiftie13198987

COD MASTERLIST

“This isnt a normal massage Si,” You hum, moving to practically straddle his legs as he lays face flat against the bed. What day of work wasnt long for him? He practically ended up like this more days than one and you were determined to see him a little more relaxed, even moreso that it’s the weekend tomorrow. “Oh? This a premium massage, hm?” He grunts, his head only shifting slightly to peer back at you before he lets his nose brush the duvets again. They smell of you— everything does, the towels, the couch, the bed, his clothes too. The only thing left untainted was his uniform; though now you had mercilessly pulled it off of him, perhaps that’d be infected too.

“Hm, sort of.” Slowly you graze your hands along the expanse of his back, something you’ve grown to forget the feel of. It’s warmer than you remember, rougher too with some new scratches near his waist. Even with the painfully differing colours of all of the bruises, it’s like a brand new map to explore, and to comfort him for. It cant be easy to change this often, whilst the rest of him is supposed to stay the same. So tonight, it’s your turn to re-mould him into the man you know and love—he just has to relax, and enjoy your show.

“You see, first you gotta knead the dough.” His fists clench when you start at his shoulders, pushing your fingers into the thick muscle and forcing the knots out. One hand on each shoulder, you continue, slowly moving closer and closer to his neck until finally his shoulders relax properly, the bed squeaking slightly as he lets the air take his tension. Now you move to your knuckles, dragging them down his back to the base before slowly working up. Your knuckles push and drag against his skin, occasionally stopping to really put pressure on a spot. When you reach his lower back, where his muscle is a tiny bit pudgier, your knuckles press in and tension flickers through him. “Love—“ But you’re too fast, pushing the heel of your palm into the muscle until he lets out a shaky sigh.

”Lord..”

“There was a lot of dough there, gotta knead it out.” You muse, carrying on your little journey to work out every ‘large piece of dough’ or rather the knots in each muscle until he quite literally has melted against the bed.

His arms aren't flat at his sides anymore, no he had to stretch them forward before he completely lost feel in them too. After all, your hands were way too good at getting him to this state. “You done?” He grumbles, voice noticeably softer but still a little too gruff for your liking and so you quickly shake your head, leaning down to press a kiss to the curve of his ear. “Who just has plain dough? That’s disgusting Simon.” Your cheeky remark makes him grunt again, and you snicker, grabbing some creams from the dresser. His back was dry, likely from lack of water, but definitely from lack of care. It’s not like you ever let that last too long anyway; as long as you were around he’d be a pillow princess every night.

You squeeze a dollop of moisturiser, the cold substance making him shiver but you don't take too much notice, spreading it from the top of his shoulders down to the waistband of his boxers. Your thumbs press in again, dragging across his waist to his sides and then up along his spine too. “This is freezin’, you’re trying to kill me now.”

“Hmph, fine i’ll warm you up. It’s time for the cheese anyway.”

You huff, patting his skin to maximise the absorption of the cream. But what confused him was the “cheese”. What were you going to do? It made no sense to him in the slightest, were you gonna just punch him or something?

He feels the first touch, dangerously light against his neck, and then it grows warmer and warmer as it grows lower. Your warm breath fans against his back, soft touches of love left against every inch of his spine. Your hands hold his waist, affectionately grabbing his muscle as you continue your path. His bruises get all the more pecks, making him twitch again, almost squirmish, but he can't swat you away when you just feel so, so good. Carefully your nails drag against his skin, definitely not enough to hurt but enough to make him shift beneath you, eyes flittering against the bed. “Don’t think there’s enough cheese, Sweet’art. You know I like extra.”

You giggle, happy he’s finally going along with your plan and you nod along, returning to his shoulders to leave your mark there too, kissing and scratching the skin in a way that makes way too many sighs leave his mouth.

“Mm… we're all done?” He can only mumble now, eyes drooped and likely about to fall asleep if not for the fact that he does not want to let this end, ever. “Pepperoni first— they’re frozen, sorry.” This time the touch is icy cold, but it quickly fades out to a numbing feeling. You have icy hot gel in your hands, which you rub into the bruise, making a circle on each one that litters his back. His fists unravel now, slowly gripping the pillows above instead. It’s almost adorable how easily he gets all mushy from your touch, just a simple massage. “Uh huh.. and what now?”

“Baking time.” You lean down more on his back, the warmth of your body invading his. Slowly you blow across his back, and he can't help but squirm a little, the feeling ticklish but comforting nonetheless when he feels your legs against his. When he feels your arms wrap around his middle, and your legs properly encase him, he doesn't even bother to raise a brow, instead using the last of his strength to turn himself over and pull you in properly. “We need all the warmth we can get for the best pizza.”

He murmurs into your ear, giant arms clutching around your body and swallowing you whole with his presence. He pulls the covers firmly over the both of you, entangles your legs and buries his face deep in your neck. “A shame really, you smell like a real meal, love.” You can only giggle and kiss his neck again, making sure your arms are wrapped as tights as his are. “Baking time lasts the whole night, didnt you know?”

“Well if you’re the oven, then i gotta make sure you’re the right temperature too.” His lips shut you up before you can respond, eyes all drooped and exhausted. Seems the pizza was perfectly made today.

[gamblersdoll]

𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐒?

ghostface! todoroki who plays out your sick fantasy.

mask kink, p in v, finger sucking, nipple sucking, fear tactic.

“are you sure you want to do this?” todoroki questions, a stoic but somewhat worry on his face. “what if something goes left and i hurt you?”

“you wont hurt me, baby.”

“what if you forget that we are doing something like this and you freak out?” he presses, fidgeting with his fingertips and avoiding eye contact.

“baby, if youre worried so much we dont have to do this.” you remind, kissing his cheek and a small smile. “i wont force you to do anything you dont want to do.”

“yeah, but i wanna make you happy, thats what im supposed to do.” he sighs,rolling his eyes at himself.

“and you are either way it goes.” you scratch his head, a soft groan from his throat as you dig your nails into him. “ill be happy and love you either way this goes.”

“okay,” he nods, tilting your head up and kissing your lips. “gotta go to the store for dinner, feeling like soba tonight.” he says, standing up and holding you for a minute. “love you.”

“i love you too.”

you eventually hear the downstairs front door close and lock, sleep taking over your body and you fluttering your eyes shut into a resting place and feeling your body start to drift away.

but, maybe an hour later, something does wake you up. a sound of something ruffling around, could be birds in the attic or maybe another fucking squirrel got into the dryer again. but, your sleepy brain not working right, you pull yourself out of bed and look at the time.

‘ten forty three.’

shoto isnt home yet?

walking downstairs, you turn the dryer light on, there wasnt any chipmunks or squirrels in there. and yet, you still hear noise from somewhere.

‘click!— front door open.’

your heart races a bit, looking over to the door to see what apparently is a man in all black, with a ghostface mask and he just stands there. you chuckle, rolling your eyes. “okay, shoto, you actually want to do this?”

no movement, just the man you think is your todoroki standing in place.

“helloooo?” you snap your fingers in his face, still no movements from the masked man, but scoff and fold your arms. “shoto, again if you dont want to do this—“

finally, the man who wasnt speaking, pulls out a small amount of rope. which was weird, todoroki doesnt really like ropes,being the fact it’s easy to get rope burn. you feel the hairs on the back of your neck raise, your overthinking starting to save you. “are you not todoroki..?”

he shakes his head no, putting up five fingers.. and your legs do all the running on their own. he wasnt chasing you, no. but it still is fucking creepy.

that damn boy probably left the door unlocked!

you lock the door to the bedroom, scrambling to find your phone. you unlock it, dialing the number to his phone, and it picks up.

“todoroki— someone broke into—“

“no todoroki shoto here, little girl.” the other line says, making your heart drop and tremble within fear of somebody, something hurt him and was doing the same with you. “do you like scary movies?”

oh, thats how this fuck wants to do things? textbook definition?

you swallow thick, feeling rage and yet fear within your bones. “adore them.” you spit, peering out the window curtains.

“okay, lets play a little game then.”

“whats the name of that one big killer in silent hill?” the line asks, waiting on your response.

“pyramid head.” you confidently reply, getting a satisfactory chuckle. “if youre going to kill me, give me better questions so it means something.”

“ohh, youre so mean, what about your poor shoto?” he asks, a coo behind his words. “if you get all of them right, ill tell you where he is.”

you chew on your nails, anxiety pulling over you. you grunt, an approval of his mind games with you. “okay then, who was the first killer in scream?”

that almost threw you off, but you knew who it was. “there wasnt just one killer for that first girl.. casey was her name.”

“oh? mind to share with me and shoto?” he asks, you have to hold your tongue to try and not sacrifice his life on accident.

“billy called the girls phone, stu killed the boyfriend, billy killed the girl.” you say, knowing that you’re right about all of it, it was simple really.

“oh, what makes you so sure? how can you tell?” he asks again, curiously trying to see if you would second guess yourself. anyone would, especially in the scream movies. but you werent stupid, you watched enough of those movies to realize that mistake.

“billy was more fueled by rage and revenge, causing his movements to act erratically, stu was just there with him.”

“bingo! next question..” he cheers, a pause in the line. “in the paranormal realm, was it the conjuring that goes first, or annabelle?”

“annabelle, then conjuring.” you say, hearing a dissatisfied voice. “what?”

“are you sure about that? thats what you want to go with?” he asks, was this his trick again or were you wrong..?

“thats how they go, it wouldnt make sense if they were reversed.” you shout, hearing a small chuckle.

“you lose.” he says, the line ending and hands grab at your shoulders, a scream coming from your throat as you thrash and writhe in his hands.

he kneels down on your forearms, wrapping the rope around your body and hands as you still struggle. he was bigger than you, your legs and knees only able to kick air and some small parts of his back. you try to pry your way out of the rope’s confines, his hands starting to paw and push up at your clothes and your heart drops.

is this how it’s supposed to be? your boyfriend supposedly dead and you get the short end of the stick?

you look away, not bothering to watch yourself be ruthlessly taken by a masked killer who just happens to also be a fucking creep. you feel his hands on your body, warm but cold hands on your stomach.

warm and cold ?

his lips attach to your nipple, you jumping from the temperatures in his mouth. he mustve eaten something cold or something. or, maybe he had taken some kind of medication that makes him cold?

he swirls his tongue, his breath being pushed onto your skin, and the temperature of his breath is colder—

fucking todoroki, its been him this whole time.

your nerves relax all the way, getting the best confirmation of your lover being the one who has you in his reigns, his mouth on your nipple, and the one who is pulling his cock from his pants.

you wouldve thought it was someone else, since he shaved his shit apparently. he hears you chuckle, looking up at you. you try to bite back another, just imagining a ghostface mask staring up at you while positioning themselves against you— meanwhile knowing their identity.

“please dont kill me mr. ghostface, i wanna be in the sequel.” you feign fear, feeling his hands push you into the ground deeper and feeling his cock slip in, moaning about it. your clit jumps for a second, twitching from the cut pubes prickling against it for only seconds at a time.

the masked man kneels, pulling your body back and forth along his length as he hears your yelps and moans, them being elongated. the mans’ gloved fingers find their way into your mouth, you sticking your tongue out as he thrusts his fingers down and out your throat. his glove gets wet, soaked with your spit and you gag slightly when he has you throat his fingers.

his pace gets meaner, too honestly. his hips smacking against your rear and his other hand holds the ropes on your back, steadying himself and you. deep breathing can be heard through the mask, sometimes feeling the air become a little warmer but then colder. wet squelching and slaps of skin reverberated through the room, some of your hair becoming disheveled and ass becoming sore and red.

your moans becoming whiny, a light drenching of your essence and creamy rings along his cock as you curl your toes, “fuck—hah!”

the masked man breathes deeper as well, his hips slowing down as he stills inside of you. you feel his own ejaculation inside of you, making your folds slicker than any lubricant ever. the masked man lays you down, untying your restraints and pulling his mask off.

tuffs of red and white hair show themselves, and a worried shoto. “are.. are you okay—“

you bonk the top of his head, hearing a ‘ow’ after that. “what the hell, todoroki!” you squeal, shaking his arms. “what kind of idea was that?!”

“well.. you said that you wanted to try something new..” he says, his own hands on your shoulders shaking them.

“i know that much— but you scared the fuck outta me!”

“sorry.. how did you figure out it was me?” he asks, confused and worried eyes that stare and burn into yours. “was it that noticeable?”

“your palms are two different temperatures, and your mouth was cold.” you point out, pulling your shirt down and rubbing your wrists. “i almost didnt, because of the rope and the phone call— hold the fuck on, who answered the phone then?”

“uh.. midoriya?”

a knock comes to your front door, its about eleven twenty four at night. especially after tonight, todoroki walks you to the door, just in case you were still worried about anything. you weren’t worried in the slightest.

you unlock and open the door, green patches of hair the first thing you see. “uhm— hi there.” he says, the freckled boy rubbing the back of his head and a nervous chuckle.

“hi there, ghostface.” you say, both men tensing up and you fold your arms.

“well!—“ he starts, nervous and scrambling for an answer. “in my defense! todoroki cane to me about it and i wasnt trying to scare you too bad! i hope i didnt..”

“both of you did, so both of you can get beat up.” you say, watching izuku hand todoroki’s phone back. “but.. i guess i give credit when its due.”

“i hope i didnt cause any trouble..”

“you didnt, but its getting late.” you remind, the three of you saying goodbyes and a thought comes to you. you turn to tell izuku, “izu!”

he turns back and responds with a distant ‘yeah?’ wide eyes and a smile.

“annabelle comes before the conjuring, take more notes!”

[andy-wm]

So...Who then?

A BRIEF SYNOPSIS of WHO:

Jimin is searching for the girl he thinks is out there for him (one who he can give the world and more to). He can't understand why he hasn't found her. Who is his heart waiting for?

Clue: it's the person who literally falls into his path. This is the ONLY person for him - everyone else has walked away.

I have to confess... I didn't hear WHO as more than a generic pop song the first couple of times i listened. I was in my car driving home from work when i first listened, and then bustling around with domestic stuff as i listened a second time.

Its very unusual for me to be so casual and negligent with first listens but my head wasn't in the game. I didn't want to push it.

So I consciously put it aside until i could give it the attention it deserves.

I want to clearly state that if WHO was purely a fun and impersonal pop song i wouldn't be judging the song or Jimin for that. It's got a catchy tune and i enjoyed it, and I'm not expecting everything Jimin creates to speak to me personally.

Some things are just for fun and that's okay.

But I think there more to this song...

As with much of Jimin’s work, what seems simple on the surface is more complex when you dig a little deeper...

I watched the mv with the lyrics onscreen and my impression is forming (It's still basically a first impression though so i probably missed things)

What i notice, reading the lyrics as i listen, is that it's not the love song i first thought it was.

It's not a love song at all.

This song is all about about Jimin

and it's full of questions...

She's always on his mind, this woman he has yet to find. He thinks about her every day.

He's not telling us his standards are too high, or all the girls he likes are unavailable, or he never goes out to meet people.

He's telling us he's been searching but he hasn't even MET her yet.

Hes telling us he doesn't know why he hasn't found her.

((Why the insistence that it has to be a 'her'?

That's easy:

Anyone who was raised in a hereronormative environment is going to go through life thinking they will find love with the opposite sex. It's the default expectation. Everything in society tells us this from advertising, to entertainment, to the government. For a lot of gay or queer people, you expect that to happen. You kiss a lot of girls or boys and you expect to feel that spark (shoutout to the enbys who nobody can see).

And the spark just isnt there, so you keep looking. You search for that one individual who will make you feel the way you're *supposed* to feel.

The lyrics of this song are basically saying exactly this.

If you believe - as i do - that Jimin struggled with his identity and that he didn't recognise his love for JK as ROMANTIC love until JK started returning his affection, then it makes sense that he believed he would (or should) fall in love with a girl.

And look, he dances with ALL the girls. He has a red hot go at this. He really tries, but nothing sticks.))

Now back to the song...

He tells us that he goes out and meets a lot of people:

But he still doesn't know who she might be.

HE'S NEVER MET HER...

"We've never met" he says it twice in succession. So he hasnt even met a girl he thinks COULD be the one?

🤔

Can i take a guess?

MAYBE THERE'S A CLUE HERE:

"Who is my heart waiting for," sings Jimin as a BILLBOARD falls from the sky.

Its "crash landing on you" but figuratively, not literally.

The face on the billboard looks very familiar 🤔

And also...

KEEP GOING>> says the billboard.

When asked in an AMA what he would say to his debut self, Jimin said "You nice. Keep going."

We know how tough things were in the lead up to debut, especially for Jimin. He nearly lost his place in the group several times. And it's no secret that as a group they struggled to be taken seriously by the industry.

But wait... what else does the billboard say?

W H O

Not 'WHO?' but WHO

It's a statement, not a question.

If you're looking for a sign, this is it.

THIS IS LITERALLY A SIGN

Dont forget that this billboard/person crashes into his life - falls directly in his path - when hes alone out there.

There's nobody there but Jimin.

And for Jimin, there is nobody else

🐰🐥

ETA: Here's the next part of my response to 'WHO'. This post looks at the MV Specifically.

[honeytonedhottie]

how 2 stop a manifestation spiral⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🗒️

feeling doubtful or stressed when manifesting is normal because they are human emotions and we are human. its normal to get triggered by things in the 3D.

with practice, things in the 3D won't trigger you to the point where u start to spiral because you will be a seasoned manifestor. lets talk about it...💬🎀

AFFIRMING ;

when u feel urself starting to get triggered or u fear that u might begin to spiral. start affirming. if u find that you can't focus enough to affirm then i recommend affirming out loud.

affirming out loud is helpful because if ur saying it with your words u can't think something different. so affirm out loud and ease into affirming in ur head to remind urself of what yk to be true. affirming kills wavering! affirming kills doubt! so keep on affirming until the wavering, spiraling and doubt end.

REVERSE UR THOUGHT PROCESS ;

if ur starting to get intrusive thoughts (which everyone has and its totally normal) but if ur intrusive thoughts are super persistent and u feel like u can't control it, reverse ur thought process. for example...

lets say ur manifesting something and your thinking "this'll never happen because _" then ask why? and continue to ask why until u can't think of a reason. doing so debunks ur limiting beliefs and shuts up ur intrusive thoughts.

HOT TIP ; when the 3D is all up in my face, i just shut it down completely by affirming "idgaf what the 3D says, ik i have (insert desire)" and then i feel relieved because ik its true...💬🎀

TAKE A DEEP BREATH ;

take a deep breath and breathe. remember that manifestation isnt supposed to feel like a chore and its easy, natural, and so much fun. dont lose sight of that because thats how we become stressed and end up not enjoying manifestation.

FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS ;

cry, take a day off, whine but do NOT wallow. i keep a loa tough love rant in my notion for after im done feeling my feelings to put me back in check. but do not bottle up ur feelings when u manifest. feel it and then move on.

because at the end of the day wavering is such a waste of time because you know that this is ur reality, u know that the world is ur oyster and reality is ur playground. the law has no choice but to work.

[pedrosgrogu]

Born Too Late - Chapter 10

pairing/au: neighbor!joel x reader // no outbreak

Warnings: MDNI!! slight dubcon, hate sex (unprotected, dont be silly, wrap ur willy), rough, degrading, no aftercare, mean!joel, possessive!joel, crying after sex, overstim, drunk dom joel, alcohol consumption, cheater cheater pumpkin eater joel, please let me know if i forgot something.

Summary: Thanksgiving at the Millers was supposed to be an easy-going afternoon. Shit goes South very quickly once Joels girlfriend opens her mouth. After the tenseness of the evening, Joel decides its time to set things straight. (3.4k+)

a/n: im so scared. this is the craziest and longest shit i have ever written but i LOVE it. i hope you all love it as much as i do. <3 i welcome any and all feedback, it keeps me writing :3 xoxox

Chapter 9 - Chapter 11 - Masterlist

You walk up to the door and debate on just walking it. You decide against it considering the circumstances. You knock lightly and after a few seconds, Tommy opens the door. “Hey pretty girl.” He says. You notice his eye, swollen and bruised. You give him a “what the fuck happened?” look and open your mouth to actually ask, but he shakes his head no before the words come out. You nod in understanding and head to the kitchen. Sarah is on the couch watching TV, and Joel is out back with the smoker. You set the casserole dish on the island and say hi to Sarah. She waves but is very invested in the latest episode of Hannah Montana. You walk over to the fridge and grab a beer, popping the cap over the sink. You look out the window and your eyes meet Joels. His facial expression and eyes say so much, but nothing at all. You miss looking into them. You smile and wave but he looks back down. You turn around, chuckling. “This afternoon is gonna be fucking great.” you say to yourself, shaking your head and taking a large gulp of your drink. Tommy comes into the kitchen and you stare at his eye. Wondering if that happened once he got home yesterday. Wondering if that happened because of you. “Tommy?” you say quietly. “Hm?” he looks up at you. “What happened?” you say, rubbing his face gently. “Nothing you need to be concerned about sweetheart. I promise Im alright.” he says, smiling. You hear the patio door slide open and quickly remove your hand from Tommys face, you fear what would happen to him if Joel saw. “Don't stop on account of me.” he grunts, staring through you. 

“Foods done. Sarah, set the table. Theres five of us.” “Five?” you say, louder than you mean to. “Did I stutter? Five. You, Tommy, Sarah, Me, and Celeste.” You stomach churns. “Excuse me.” You whisper, tears falling from your eyes. You run to the bathroom, anticipating the churning in your stomach to turn into actual vomit. This time, no one chases you. You hear Sarah setting the table, Tommy helping her, and Joel answering the door. Then you hear her. Celeste. “Hi sweetie! Im Celeste. You must be Sarah. Im a friend of your dads.” she says. You wanted so badly for her voice to be anything but what it was. Its smooth like honey, and her accent is the same as Joel and Tommys. Southern with a touch of twang. You grab a tissue to dab your makeup. Trying to fix the smudging from your obvious crying. Once you feel that you’re as put together as you can be, you exit. Today, Celestes hair is long and straight. Shes wearing a cream cashmere sweater, black leather leggings, and oxblood colored flats. You plaster a smile on your face and walk toward her, you open your mouth to speak but she beats you to it. “Hi, Im Celeste. You must be Tommys new girlfriend.” she spits, her eyes cutting daggers at you. You look at Sarah, who thank god isnt paying attention. “Well, n-” and Tommy interrupts you “Yes! This is her!”. If looks could kill, Joel would have Tommy dead six ways to Sunday. She rolls her eyes, walking away without saying anything else. “Fuckin’ nice one, Joel. Shes a fuckin keeper.” you mutter in his direction. 

 Tommy grabs your hand and leads you to your chair, pulling it out for you. Him and Joel lay the food across the table in various spots. Sarah says the blessing and you begin passing the dishes around. Celeste laughs at just about everything Joel says, and its kind of annoying because half the shit he’s saying isn't even funny. Tommy can see your face growing with annoyance and disgust. His hand grabs your thigh under the table, a thumb going back and forth. 

The rest of dinner goes about as well as it can. Tommys hand occasionally brushing your thigh. You squeeze his a couple times to keep yourself from flipping the goddamn dinner table. Sarah gets up to get her pajamas on, and suitcase packed for the long weekend at her moms. You stand up and begin collecting plates while the boys talk. Celeste holds hers over her shoulder, still laughing at every little thing Joel says. You roll your eyes in Tommys direction and he stifles a laugh. 

Eventually, Sarahs mom arrives and you walk out with everyone to say goodbye. Funny, you notice Celeste doesn't join you all; remembering her scuffle with Sarahs mom. Sarah gives you a big hug around the neck, and whispers in your ear “I don’t like that woman. Don't let my dad keep her here.” She says, her eyes bigger than the sun. You hug her back, telling her to have fun at her moms. Tommy and Joel both give her a kiss on the head and tuck her into the car. You all wave goodbye and head toward the house. You lead, Tommys hand guiding you on your lower back, Joel in the very back, breathing so heavy that if you didn’t know better, you’d think something was wrong. But you know it’s Tommy. He’s pushing him to his breaking point, and his breaking point is you. Once back inside, you pour yourself a glass of wine. You’ve lost count on what number this is. You know you had 3 beers but the wine went down like water during dinner and desert. 

The hours pass and you've played a couple card games, trying not to focus on the way Celeste grabs Joels biceps. The way she allows her head to fall on him when she laughs. You finish your umpteenth glass of wine and excuse yourself. You walk down the hall until you find the spare room. You shut the door and turn the light on, sitting on the bed. Trying not to freak out. You cant read Joel. He used to be so easy to read, his facial expressions like an open book. The creases around his eyes told you how his day was, his eyes told you what he wanted, his lips saying what he needed. But for weeks they’ve given you nothing. The door opening snaps you out of your trance. “If you wanted me again, you could’ve just invited me over.” Tommy says laughing, shutting the door behind him. “Tommy, shut up.” You say, hitting him on the arm. “Hey hey, I already got my ass whooped once in the last 2 days, Id rather it not happen again.” He sits beside you, the bed creaking with every movement. “Tommy,” you start “I thought you said she wasn’t coming.” he sighs. “She wasn’t s’posed to. Joel told me weeks ago that he was breakin’ things off. I guess he never did. I didn’t know. Maria and I broke up and I hadn’t seen her here so I just assumed he’d done it.” You look him in the eyes. “Im sorry about you and Maria. It hadn’t even crossed my mind yesterday.” you look at the ground, your feet swinging from the bed. “Nothin’ you coulda done. She broke it off for some schmuck she met on business in Dallas. Not sure why Celeste is makin’ me out to be the bad guy.” he retorts. You both laugh for a second. Unsure of where to go from here. You don’t want to go back out there, but you don’t want to be alone. The thought of asking Tommy to go home with you pops into your head but after yesterday, thats probably the worst idea you’ve ever had. As if he can read your mind, he stands, reaching for your hand. “M’lady” he says, kissing the back of your hand. You laugh, opening the door “Shut the hell up Tommy”. 

You both walk back down the hall to find Celeste and Joel watching a movie. Shes kissing his neck, and he looks every bit of uninterested. When you kissed his neck, he returned the favor 10 fold. He couldn’t keep his hands off you. You head to the kitchen and her head perks up at the sound of the fridge opening. “It’s about time you came back out” she starts “and what a rude thing to do in someone elses home.” she says, looking you up and down. Now, usually, you’d just let it roll off your back. But after the last 3 weeks, after today, you dont have the patience. “Im not sure what you’re insinuating, but Tommy and I are just friends. We were just talking. Nothing more.” You say, popping the top off another beer. Joel stifles a laugh. “Something you’d like to add, Joel?” you say, waiting for a grunt since thats the only language he seems to speak around you these days. “Nah, nothin to say to you.” he hisses. You laugh. It’s truly comical how hes acting. He gave Tommy a shiner for assumingly fucking you, but she speaks to you like that and he seems to forget how to be a halfway decent human. 

The air in the house is thick with tension, you’re suffocating. You decide this is your last beer, and then you’re going home. You have one foot out the patio door before you hear the words “But what do you expect from someone that sluts around like that?” You see red. You’ve had way too much to drink, but just enough to speak up for yourself. You don’t give either man a chance to say anything, not that you were banking on Joel doing it regardless. Spinning around and shutting her up in her tracks. “I’m not sure who the FUCK you think you are, but you are not going to speak to me, or about me like that.” you scream. She laughs in your face. “Baby I’m just telling it how it is. You can’t honestly expect anything else when you’re homie hopping two brothers” she says laughing. Tommy and Joel both look absolutely mortified. Joel’s mouth opens but you stop him. “Don’t. You obviously haven’t come to my defense the last few weeks, hell you cant even bother to fucking look at me, so I dont want to hear anything from you.” You turn back to Celeste, your entire body shaking, tears on the brink of starting a tsunami from your eyes. “What the fuck are you even talking about?” you take another step toward her. She stands from the couch. “I’m talking about how you can’t decide which Miller brother you’d rather have in your bed. I mean it’s obvious.” she pauses, and then laughs “Is it like split custody? Like do you have Tommy one week, and Joel the next? I mean, obviously not anymore, but how did you think that was going to play out? Did you even-” you drop you beer bottle onto Joel's floor, it shatters upon impact. The floor now littered with cheap ale and glass shards. “Thanks for dinner Joel, but fuck you. And fuck your piece of work girlfriend too.” you hiss, kicking glass out of your way and walking out the door. 

You stumble in your front door, slamming it behind you. You cry, harder than you’ve ever cried before. It’s hard to catch your breath. You feel like your heart has been ripped from your chest, and then stomped on. You call Penny but it goes right to voicemail. Unsure of what to do next, you do nothing. You sit in the dark, and let your sadness swallow you whole. Your tears soak the couch cushion but you’re too sad, and too drunk to care. 

You have no idea what time it is, but wake up to a consistent banging on your front door, along with your phone ringing. You stand up and your head is screaming, pleading for you to lay back down. You pick up your phone first. It’s Joel. “Hello?” “Open your fuckin door.” he says, hanging up right after. You stumble to the door, opening it. He pushes past you, slamming it behind him. He reeks of alcohol. “I don’t know what the hell you thought was going on at dinner, but that shit ends NOW.” You turn the lamp on, rubbing your eyes. “Joel, its late. Why are you here? And what the actual fuck are you-” and his lips are crashing into yours. You push him away from you. “I don’t know what you think this is, but you have a fucking girlfriend. A very hot, girlfriend. A girlfriend that you let speak so rudely to me earlier. A girlfriend that-” and his finger is in front of your mouth, shushing you. “My turn. Understand?” you laugh. “Joel, this isn’t a fucking game. You aren’t allowed to speak to me like that, and honestly, you aren’t allowed to speak to me for the foreseeable future.” His eyes are dark, but not in the warm doe-eyed way. They’re like a bottomless well. They’re full of anger, or sadness, or maybe both. You genuinely cant tell, but it doesn't stop you. “I don’t know what gets you off, but inviting me to Thanksgiving, knowing your fucking girlfriend is going to be there? I mean, honestly. And then to tell her I fucked both you and Tommy? Which never happened might I add. You really need to consider- “I know what I saw, what I heard.” you scoff at him. “What did you see Joel? Please enlighten me.” He takes a step toward you. “I saw my brother fixin’ his goddamn belt in your living room. I saw your bra on the floor. I saw that same disheveled look on your face that you had in my bed.” You sigh, not sure if from exhaustion, frustration, or both. His words are slurring, and you’re becoming increasingly worried. “You want to know what you saw, Joel? You saw me in an emotional and vulnerable place. You saw me after your brother fingered me. No parts entered any others with the exception of his goddamn fingers. You saw me coping with your actions.” your voice cracking. “So out of all people, you go to my fuckin’ brother?” You look at him, your eyes burning, your tear ducts working goddamn overtime. “Your brother came to me. He came to check on me, after you decided to treat me like I was invisible. For weeks, you wouldn’t even look at me. And the one time you did, it was to ask for shampoo for your fucking date.” He looks at you, his face finally showing an emotion other than nothing. You pick up your phone. “Joel, get out. Please.” you finally say. “I don't have the energy to deal with this anymore. To deal with you anymore.” He tilts his head, laughing. 

He slings you over his shoulder, stomping into your room. He kicks his boots off and throws you on the bed. You scurry to turn the light on, unsure of whats coming. The light is on and you turn to look at him. But he isn’t there. He is, but isn’t. His eyes don’t look like him, they aren’t soft and warm like honey in mid-summer. They’re black, his pupils blown so big you question if he’s on something. His body is reeking of desperation, but his actions are scaring you. “Up.” he says, his voice bellowing through your room. You flip your phone open, trying to find Tommy’s name, because Joel is obviously drunk, and you don’t have the patience for him, or drunk him. He grabs your phone from you and drops it off the bed. “I said up.” he says in your ear, nipping your neck in the process. And your body does something funny. You get the butterflies, the good ones; and theres a wet spot in your underwear. You whimper. “There’s my good girl.” he grunts, his eyes still black. You open your mouth to speak, but he covers it with his hand. “No more talkin’”. The next 15 minutes happen so quickly, but so slowly. He rips your shirt off of you, the fabric tearing down the middle. Your pants fly off, underwear going with them. He flips you on your stomach, “All fours, now.” he says. You quickly roll over and arch your back, spreading your legs far enough apart so that he can see your frothing pussy. You quickly realize that no matter how much you hate him right now, you’re also aching for him. You hear his belt come undone, and his pants hit the floor. He slaps your ass, hard. You squeal in both pleasure and pain. “That’s for fuckin’ my brother.” He slaps it again. “And that’s for fuckin’ avoidin’ me the last 3 weeks.” You stifle another squeal, preparing for a 3rd slap. He reaches under you, his thumb circling your clit and his fingers hitting all the right spots inside you. You moan, and it doesn’t take long for your body to twitch. You’re on the verge of coming undone, and he can tell. His pace picks up. “P-p-please Joel. N-n-need you.” you stutter. He laughs, yanking his hand away. Leaving you feeling so fucking empty. You turn your head to him and scream in agony. “Didn’t I say no fuckin talkin?” he says, spit hitting your nose. “For once, this ain't about you. Now turn around, and do what I say.” he says, angrily.

You can feel tears welling in your eyes, confident they’re from how overstimulated you are. He’s leaving bite marks down your back, naming each reason. “This ones for fuckin my brother” and he bites hard for that one. “I told you, I didn’t fuck Tommy. He fucked me.”  you say, immediately realizing your mistake. Another slap to the ass echos through the room. “I said stop fuckin’ talkin’.” His breathing is heavy and rugged. The bites end and theres a second of relief. Of no pain or pleasure, of just pure bliss. You bask in the moment. Trying to come down from the adrenaline rush you’ve been on for the last 12 hours. The silence is ruined by his cock stabbing its way through every inch of you. You scream in agony as he splits you in 2 with no warning. His pace quickening and your release on the horizon. “Did my brother fuck you this good?” his pace quickening “Did he make you scream like this?” he says, not letting up. You’re quick to remember what happened last time you spoke, and choose to ignore the question. You can hear the sound of his balls slapping you, the sound of your juices combining. You moan, gutturally. And he fucking pulls out, completely out. You turn to look at him and he grabs your face “Answer the goddamn question.” he spits. You’re mortified. “No.” you say quietly. He drops your face and throws himself back into you. “Speak up.” he grunts. “N-No J-J-Joel!” You scream. You’re drowning in the ecstasy of the moment, your head barely above water. He lets out a chuckle, saying nothing else. His pace quickens again and your body tenses up. You reach to pleasure yourself, your fingers landing in exactly the right places. “I done told you, this ain't about you.” he says, swatting your hand away. You cry out in agony, begging for your own release. “Please Joel, please let me-” and before you can finish your sentence, he’s flipped you around and his cock is filling your throat. “Im tired of listenin’ to that mouth.” His hands wrapped in your hair, pushing your head down his full length. His pace picks up and you gag. “That mouth is only good enough for my fuckin’ cock.” he moans. Tears are falling from your face, gags escaping your throat. You feel him twitch, and then a warmth in your throat. His pace slows, and he moans.

He pulls out and you wail, tears still falling from your eyes. “Don’t fuckin forget who you belong to.” He turns around and begins putting his pants on, the sound of his belt buckle echoing through your ears. “J-Joel?” you say, with no response. He pulls his shirt over his head and grabs his boots off the floor. “Joel, where are you going?” you say, sitting up, coving yourself with the comforter. He’s halfway down the hall before he turns around, his eyes back to the soft honey brown. “Joel, please.” you squeak out. But he keeps going, and you hear your front door close. You do the only thing that you seem to know how to these days, and cry.

[austinsastrology8991]

> Neptune IN the HOUSES < How your DELUSIONS find you RESOLUTIONS

Neptune in the First - You act so naive, and now people actually think your naive. But you hate it when people treat you this way, but your always swaying around and acting oblivious to everything around you, but ik its all a front, and people find you to be mystical and now everyone is entranced by this dance you make acting oblivious. its obvious its an act, but then the more you get to know them you realize its not and thats actually who they are, and you wonder why no one has bonked them on the head yet Neptune in the Second - you dont really value anything, you think everything comes and goes, and your just like a paper bag flowing through the wind tbh. But this quality of letting things be and go, allows you to be molded by life and that can be a useful tool for artisty, but man yall just give up easy tbh. also your voices are like ethereal - kiddd cudiiiiiieee Neptune in the Third - you guys talk like a movie character, and its never the villain but the naive protagonist who just believes in a bunch of bullshit. but everyone thinks your so amusing to lissten to and i suppose you are but sometimes you guys really are playing up this movie trope and well im done watching the same movie i want a re-cast. then next week you will re-cast yourself as a new protagonist and well everyone just loves to watch you be an idiot so keep it up Neptune in the Fourth - Your literally 'good will huntings robin Williams'. you act like you figured out emotions because you let them come and go, but when someone questions whats going on with you, you find a million reasons to explain why you behave this way, and why others do, whilst completely avoiding letting your emotions out because your way too sensitive youd rather keep it at them at a distance that way you can handle it Neptune in the Fifth - You guys are the embodiment of a amusement park. YOu perform a million different acts, and never run out of ideas on how to entertain. Very amusing to watch, but people tend to take you for granted since your always so fun to be around we just expect yalll to keep performing, and you can, but this eats you up inside. then you perform again showing us how you feel as usual, and how it feels being used, and well i guess its all good because you have a never ending source of material - yourselves

Neptune in the Sixth - IMO the real mvps of delusions. No one is as delusional as them but they dont even care because they have thought of so much bullshit and have found so much evidence for their bullshit that they now realized that what most people believe in is bullshit, so they just think everything is bullshit. They dont even give a fuck anymore because to them everything isnt real, and everything is real, they have trouble understanding reality, because they have seen things no one could ever believe exists Neptune in the Seventh - Hopelessly projecting what they want in the world just for it to never come to fruition. This is actually how they pull, so dont hate their game. but they tell people how they wish things would be, and people want to save them by showing them how the world works, or giving into their stupid delusions and pretending what they believe in is real. Kinda a lot to deal with. But they'll never admit that they act so innocent but then your basically taking care of a baby Neptune in the Eighth - They make the universe bend to their will whether it wants to or not. They will pull every magic trick they know to make sure that their delusions are not delusional anymore. And its impressive how much they believe in there imaginings that it does tend to become real, but i would warn them and whoever is around them; That their fantasies tend towards the dark. so if they want something to be real (and they gonna do everything they can to get it) they may or may not resort to black magic or some shady ass shit Neptune in the Ninth - They believe in god a lot, maybe too much to appear normal. They are the type to make up a cult and behave liek mormons and say it was the will of god. The people ive met with this are strange, and their beliefs alter quite a bit, and for some reason they always have met deities and angels. But they are so delusional in their beleifs that if you hear them out, its so far fetched youll get lost in them because your so curious how someone got so lost in their own religion you wonder if they'll ever return to the real world Neptune in the Tenth - They are openly strange. Bro dennis Rodman has this conj his midheaven and its just iconic really. These guys are the strangest most ethereal beings and everyone gets lost in their cult of personality. Always switching up their identity, they think reality is bullshit and well we are all here for it because yall do the strangest things and i just wanna watch what your gonnna do next. but im still trynna figure out how close i wanna get to you because being seen with you is a risk for my reputation, because you clearly dont give a fuck about yours Neptune in the Eleventh - How many acid shirts do you own. Its like your the public personification of 'make love not war and peace bro' and its cool everyone wants a freidn like you, but no one takes your advice seriously. Because your so lost in the make believe that you think your make believe can actually make someone make believe..... But like cmon how the fuck do you think thats going to change anything. WHen has 'peace bro' ever actually worked. do your charities or whatever but i do not see it working as much as you think it can. sorry not sorry. But i do love you. But get a haircut Neptune in the Twelvth - Your literally the type to lick your finger , put it up in the air and say 'yep it going to rain wednesday' then it actually rains wednesday. And your so cooked no one believes you (because why would you) but then it does happen and now eveyrone thinks your even more cooked because what you had cookin is a real recipe. Now everyone wants to know how you have your third eye or whatever open and now you just want to hide again lmao. Also incredible artists, i recommend you guys keep your intuitive insights to yourself because you are right a lot but why tell people when everyone is just going to question how you see signs rather than heed your advice

[purin-gambler]

‘a piece of advice’ - suna rintaro

wc: 1.3k

cw: timeskip spoilers, minimal cursing

⚄ notes: bestfriend suna, fem reader, fluff, heavy implications of romantic feelings, suna might be terribly in love you as way more than friends- but you didnt hear that from me, mentions of past failed dates, suna kinda clowning atsumu at one point ( affectionate )

☁︎ a/n: i kept thinking about this troupe with suna??? the ‘hes your best friend but hes in love in you and is tired of seeing you go through other men that isnt him’ troupe and ughhh i had to write it myself. this was supposed to be a drabble oops, but i started to write it like a fic… i just might love this man. like a lot.

“i told you. you shouldve listened to me.” suna’s expression through the handheld device was deadpanned, as he knew from the very second your contact name popped up onto his phone for a video call, he would have to pull the ‘i was right, you were wrong’ card on you. all on the very same evening you would come home from this blind date, he would remind you of your decisions, and hed only received a huff of your breath in response.

clicking suna’s contact name and dialing his number was a common reflex at this point. especially during times like these. suna made it all too accessible to talk to him, knowing that he had no excuse not to answer, since the man was always glued onto that device of his no matter what situation he found himself in.

with all the times youve called, he would answer before the first ring had even rung, never wasting a second, always immediate to talk to you as if he were waiting to hear your voice again.

his willingness to chat and your endless rambles made it easy to connect, considering he was all over the country for the sake of his volleyball career. so video calls like the one you found yourselves in now were more common than youd like to admit. calls where suna found himself taking it easy in his hotel room, miles upon miles away from you to participate in a volleyball match the following morning. while you on the other hand, are on the line ranting in a frustrated manner to him. the opposite demeanors in your personalities clashing at this very moment, suna unsure of what to make of your current rambling outbursts of disappointment.

because calls like these were about men that werent him, taking you out on dates, and disappointing you again.

“i cant believe you went on a blind date with a guy atsumu set you up with.” he sneered.

with an elbow prompted against your desk to support your head resting on your hand, you slouched over your desk, the uncertainty of the matter apparent in your wavering tone. “but the guy sounded nice enough though… thought id give him a chance.”

hearing the way your voice faltered, he mused shortly after, “seemed nice? give him a chance? this guy walked out on you before you even got the bill.”

you watched the way he slouched back onto his chair, arms crossed, and not sparing you a second away from his disapproving gaze. “you couldve left first you know? but youre telling me you stayed, listen to him give you shit, watched him leave, and ended up paying the dinner for his sorry ass instead-?!”

silence was all that sat on the line, suna observing the expression sat onto your face. the display was clear as day, you embodied a disappointed frown that radiated your upsetness through his phone screen. all the time you wasted on some guy who couldn’t even spare you a glance, a ‘date’ that didnt care to let you utter a word, or understand you any more than just your name. an absolute waste of time he was, and it was a mutual agreement between the two of you. suna knowing well that you were way too good for him, and way too good for all these horrible excuses of dates you would find yourself going on. it was unfortunate to him that he knew all these experiences were accumulating in your memory, all too aware of the way they would tear you down.

these were absolutely memories you really didnt need. suna hadnt even experienced what you would tell him, but he began to grow frustrated with the way he had to hear you come home disappointed every single time. though he was never upset with you spilling all the details to him, in fact, he always encouraged it. always keeping an open ear to attentively listen to the spews of the pain and frustration you expressed onto him. listening to the way you explained how these dates wouldnt even give you the time of day. weather they had gotten too caught up in their distaste for your softer appearance, or found your personality unalienable with their own. your best friend couldnt deny his own disappointment that these guys were too stubborn to see you on a deeper level, hours gone on men who wouldnt dare to go as far as to desire any part of you. it upset him more than you knew, even though he never expressed all of it to you.

he just failed to understand time and time again, why they werent able to see you the way he did.

was it so hard? to love your curves of you body he found so beautiful, to love your face he was so happy to see, to love your voice that filled his heart with each of your words, to love the entirety of who you are and your existence without wanting to alter a single thing? he just couldnt understand.

because such a thing was as easy as breathing air for him.

loving you is just that easy.

“you know, atsumu can set volleyballs, not set you up on good dates. this better be the first and last time you take a suggestion like this from him.”

the stiffening weight of the silence between you both being fully broken once you responded with a grumbled, “lesson learned…” falling bitter from your tongue.

“good.”

though the frown on your face was all but faded, still all too prominent for his liking. he was fed up with this sight, because it was too familiar now. a light sigh escaped suna’s lips before he prompted himself forward, taking his phone into his hands.

“now give me the details. full name, photos- it can be some drivers license photo or some shitty thirst trap selfie- i dont care, occupation, date of birth- whatever atsumu showed and told you about. tell me everything.”

you scoffed in disbelief clearly laced with amusement, watching the way suna’s camera paused and cut off, indicating he was now tapping through his phone and opening up social media. ready for you to spill the details, until he was typing various combinations of your date’s name into the searchbar.

whatever he did with that information you provided him was far from your care or concern, knowing that suna was always just on his phone, doing who knows what. you assumed this was just him curiously trying to match a face to your story, since it wouldnt be the first time hes asked about these things.

though with you unaware of that growing irritation from your best friend on your behalf, you wouldnt have known that the second he found the guy, suna, with absolutely no hesitation, compiled together a little message to be sent his way. something he hadnt bothered doing before, but was sure as hell doing now. it was a message he couldve tied up in a little bow if he wanted to, hoping that it wouldve at least softened the blow of the contents written inside.

lets just say, the following morning, you received a heavily detailed apology from your previous date. a message which had caught you completely off guard and jolting you awake in the early hours of the day. staring at the detailed apology, you screenshotted the entirety of its pathetic glory, ready to relay the large paragraph to your best friend after his volleyball match later in the day.

if only you got to see the stupid look of pride on suna’s face after he received your messages.

[ella-ashmore]

behold the. ccrpoly Web. theyre all horrible at navigating it but who cares theyre happy anyways

yeah i do think ted's fucked all of his co-workers

[j3110-cup]

Matthew Patel general headcanons! ^_^

(some of these are ideas from other peoples headcanons as well! I'm not claiming any of these as completely original,, I just think they're AWESOME and i wanna write them down. I'm very sorry if my headcanons seem like they're stealing from anyone, that is not my intention and if wanted I can remove anything that seems too simliar to an idea that anyones already posted.) - Matt has a hobby of painting his nails sometimes, the only colors he's been seen with are black, gray, and red. But black is the most common color he chooses, its easy and he likes black in general. - though Matthew ALSO has a hobby of chewing his nails (mostly just for stimulation purposes, he likes doing things with his hands a lot when hes bored.) so this ends up in clipped nail polish a lot of the time. - smell wise, I think he has an odd smoky scent, not like cigarette smoke or anything but just smoke in general, like burning wood. With a light hint of vanilla. - I feel like hes skilled with his fire powers yet also notttt...? like he KNOWS how to control them in a battle and hes good at it. -But also he accidently sets them off sometimes without realizing, mostly when hes feeling intense emotions or nerves. - OKAY. HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE. I feel like in the late 2000s, Matthew would REALLY enjoy making Youtube sketches online, you gotta understand. HE WOULD LOVE BEING A CONTENT CREATOR!! I think he would have a lot of fun with having a small 'fanbase' and being able to post his ideas online. - continuing onto that, I also think he'd have a blog. Its a half and half of him talking about his favorite productions/movies and also him complaining about random stuff. He probably would think roleplaying is fun but this might be me projecting at this point. - I think he has a hard time balancing his confidence and insecurity, like its a very MIXED bag of how he feels about himself. Sadly hes pretty easy to shut down when hes confident as well I think, since his confidence is mainly just 'fake it till you make it' except he isnt fully there yet. - Matthew likes playing around with his style sometimes, especially if someone around him gives him clothes or asks him to put something on. I think he wouldnt be too into bright colors, but he'd play around with some things on himself. Like different kinds of makeup, jewelry, etc. - I feel like he has dyslexia. I dont have anything else to add I just stole this one from my friend, but its canon in my mind. - I think he has a mix of an Indian and American accent. (this headcanon exists in my mind mainly due to the fact that in Satya's audition for Matthew in the movie he used a mix of an Indian and American accent as well and i thought it was a very nice touch.) - speaking of America, I feel like Matthew grew up in the South-West of USA, I dont have a reason for this I think its just projection again. - he's actually very close with his demon hipster chicks (I also might actually post about the demon girls soon as I also have my own hcs on them) Since I like to think he summoned them in highschool and they've kinda just stuck around since. - I think hes a decent singer, though singing is something he enjoys just both as a pastime and as a career goal, so he'd practice often. - I feel like the same thing can be said with acting in general, he enjoys practicing a lot on his acting skills, he'd probably think improv is really fun. - probably a people pleaser due to how he just acts sometimes, I dont know I just feel it in my bones. okay I'm done :P also I feel like I might need to add; my idea of Matthew in my head is mainly a mix of all four medias of him, so this isnt supposed to be about any Matthew in particular. sorry for any grammar mistakes I dont have any excuse I'm just stupid!!

[dmercer91]

could you maybe do nsfw hcs for luke if you’re comfortable with that ofc!

nsfw headcanons, lh43

hey hi i am literally in love with luke hughes (18+!!)

luke is very open, especially since he’s on the younger side

he’s still looking for what he likes most and so are you, but so far you’ve meshed well

unless the moment is tense after an argument, or after your first i love you’s, or another similar occasion, he likes to keep it very light and joking

though he usually gets his way, his favourite part of everything is the banter while you’re fighting for dominance

teasing one another while you’re both trying (and failing miserably) to make it seem like the other isnt affecting you

he’ll be eating you out and your thighs are twitching but you refuse to actually moan or acknowledge how good it feels

eventually, when you’re so close to the edge you might cry, he’ll mumble against you and ask if it feels good

you would deny it over and over, every time.

the first few times he would just hum sarcastically and keep going until you came, but then he started getting meaner

“oh, so i should stop then?”

the first time you broke, quickly spewing about how good his mouth was just so you’d get to come

and he grinned to himself and kept going

the second time, you saved yourself by telling him very nonchalantly that he should keep trying so he could ‘practice’ cause he obviously needed it

you continued with that up until you got a new idea - to agree with him

“yeah, sure,”

and with that you shrugged, leaning up on your elbows to look down at him.

he took that very personally. you’d never received such good head in your entire life. luke was determined

the other way around would be you giving him a hand job and he’s literally fucking into your hand with 0 control over his hips but he refuses to admit he likes it

you’ll completely pull away from him when you ask if he’s enjoying it, cause he says with full conviction he isn’t, so clearly what you’re doing isn’t edging, right?

you’ll keep pulling away and asking if he likes it better this time until precum is dripping down your hand and his abs are tensing with every touch

he’s so sensitive that when he finally does come you swear he’s making up for moans he didn’t let out before

his head is titled back and he’s sweaty and his eyes are squeezed shut.

you called him pathetic once just to fuck with him and so in return he gave you so many orgasms you thought you might implode on his bed

when he’s using his mouth he likes for you to pull on his hair, especially once he learns his way around his curls

his curls omg i could cry

he likes to make bets, like ‘first one to give in has to do this’ type deals where he knows the wait will make both of you so needy

thanks to that you’ve gone days without kissing - a time limit was placed on these bets for that very reason because you’re both incredibly stubborn

poor duker thought you two were breaking up cause he hadn’t seen any pda in forever

you’ve tired those chocolates from tiktok that are supposed to make you needy and even if it was the placebo affect he thoroughly enjoyed that night

you’re both fighting for dominance til the very end, so there’s never really a set pace, since you’re both teasing and trying to control yourselves

he’ll come inside, but you’re both insistent on the fact that it’s purely for cleanup purposes and not cause either of you actually think it’s hot

you’re both blatantly lying, obviously, but neither of you are ever gonna admit that you like it a little too much

“should i cum inside again, baby? was so- fuck. so easy last time”

and with that you could literally feel him throb at the thought

“yeah.. yeah, good for cleanup,”

when he does come you whine at the feeling of it and he’s teasing you and pretending he thinks it’s cause you’re sensitive

meanwhile he’s trying not to actually lose his marbles at the sight of him dripping from you and the sounds of your moans

he’s got such a high drive and it’s ridiculously easy to work him up

one time he got hard cause you reached into the backseat of his car for a water and moved your hair out of your face

obviously you noticed and so obviously you let some of the water fall from your lips and drip down your chin

he thought he was hallucinating

your drive is equally high but you feel like you do a much better job at hiding it when he’s got you needy (you don’t!)

this makes for desperate times, so you’ve found yourselves using some very creative spaces together

he’s down for some public risk every now and then, so most of the sophomores have caught you together at least once

you’ve been banned from sitting on his lap during movie nights

if you’re sharing a blanket, both of each of your hands need to be visible or you’re split up and put on separate couches

you both have your ways, though.

he likes to leave marks between your thighs cause he knows nobody will see them but he still gets to leave a piece of him

you, however will leave them on his neck and chest because you like to hear him get grilled for it when he’s with his friends

they once wrongly assumed you were the one with all the control in bed, so he made a fuss that night and showed up the next day with his back scratched to shreds

he’s very, very cocky about you to his close friends and his brothers

constantly bragging about you and how amazing you are and how well you two mesh

they’re all very sick of him but they do love that you make him so happy and that your chemistry is off the charts

[hwajin]

#! — ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴜɴᴛᴏʟᴅ | hhj

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: smut, angst

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: fem!reader x hyunjin

ᴡᴄ: 1.8k

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs/ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: oral sex (fem receiving), unresolved/ unspoken feelings, hyunjins a simp 🤭 had this idea before love untold was released and it turned to be a whole different vibe but hope you enjoy <33

"I gotta go..."

Your words were muffled, spoken lazily against Hyunjin's lips, against lips that never seemed to ease, that never seemed to get enough of you, your taste.

"Mhh..., stay a bit."

Hyunjin broke the kiss only to whisper an answer, and his tongue interlaced with yours right after, for the nth time this night. You'd expected him to say that - he always tried to procrastinate the moment of seperation. Never seemed to want you out of his bed.

It weren't just his lips that were restless. His hands roamed your body beneath the duvets, reminding you in more than one way that he wanted you to be with him, that he needed you beside him, that he yet didn't get enough of you around him. With Hyunjin; you weren't sure if it was simply pleasure that he was seeking. With Hyunjin; it always felt more than it should feel, but maybe that was his persona. Always affectionate and his heart on his sleeve. Or maybe there was more to his seemingly fragile heart, more that he hid off before you.

"I can't... this isnt what we agreed on."

You'd lie saying you didn't enjoy it. Lie if you said you were desperate to get up and go home, lie if you said that his soft spoken words, only whispered in the dim of the room, that his hands longing for your body left you cold. But it wasn't, in fact, what you had agreed on. And if you stayed any longer, another hour or two, your feelings would cause damage you feared to be irreversible.

"Hmm... what have we agreed on, baby?"

That word - baby, so simple, yet a nickname - was one of the things you had agreed on not to do. And you knew that he knew. It was the rule all pairs made when a friendship developed into one of physical nature. To say that forbidding feelings was easy though, it'd be a lie. Because somehow the lingering touches Hyunjin left on your skin, the ones that burned like fire whenever you stepped out of his place and into the cold were hard to ignore, and the remaining smell you left in his sheets a reminder of what could be, and what currently is. Because somehow you wanted to please not only your body but your mind, everyone did. And somehow Hyunjin seemed like the perfect choice, though he was the only one your heart was supposed to be immune against.

"I need to remind you? What we agreed on?"

You didn't. He didn't need reminding, yet he'd ask you to nevertheless, because somehow you knew that his heart, supposed to be immune against you, wasn't either after all. Always teased for more. Always crossed another boundary the two of you had set. As friends that fucked, not as a pair that loved.

"Mhmm... remind me."

His voice was dark, soft, sending a shiver right up the bones of your spine. He was intoxicating, the way his body felt close to yours, how your limbs were entangled in a way it was too much already, if you were tedious. You've crossed every boundaries at this point, breaking your own rules. Rules to protect your hearts, rules that took a toll on them eventually. And Hyunjin started kissing down your body, changed his position to hover over you, movement but he did it so swiftly that you almost missed the moment he was atop you. Face in your neck. Hands on your hips. Breath against your skin, hot, urging for more.

"We said we won't be doing couple stuff... remember?"

He did remember, you knew, very well so. You also knew well that none of you really cared much anymore, not for the rule, nor for breaking it. Yet none of you wanted to admit. Was brave enough to, so you continued walking in the dark, continued questioning if it was ever okay to want more. To have Hyunjin fully. His lips further down your throat, grazing the thin layer of skin. Feeling your pulse for a moment, smirking at the speed of it. Hands on yoru thighs now, not missing a chance to linger.

"You staying the night isn't couple stuff.", a short break, as if he's collecting his words, "We'd be having sex. That's very friends with benefits to me."

He said the title with disgust, almost, as though forgetting he was the one who came up with the idea. Arguing it was a good one. Arguing it would give the both of you what you wanted, needed. Maybe it had started back then. Maybe all rules of the world would have been futile from that very moment, because Hyunjin had known he had broken them all already, when he had spoken out the words. Because maybe his heart had been set on you long before, and maybe yours was bound to him as well. Without your knowing, in full secret. Yet bound.

Hyunjin's lips never ceased to leave your skin. Only parting to speak, and even then his breath felt hot on you, marked you in places only he got to see, he got to touch, kiss, bite down on. His teeth grazed into the plush of your breasts, shortly, quickly, as though only dipping his toes into the whole of you - despite having had you fully not hours ago. You sucked in your breath, the wet of his mouth when he bit left over a patch of cold on your burning skin. He eyed your moves through the black of his lashes, yet your lids were closed. You'd fall too deep if you locked gazes with him, you were sure of it. Because his eyes had a depth you couldn't possibly comprehend, couldn't understand. And it was too easy to get lost within it.

You couldn't audibly object his words - having sex, being called over only for sex, even if it lasted a whole night - it wasn't all too intimate, could easily be defined as two people seeking for pleasure only. If it wasn't Hyunjin, though, and if it wasn't you in his bed. Because in his moves, as he made his way further down your body, as he kept kissing the softness of your flesh - there was an intimacy too forbidden for the label you had put onto yourselves. There was no way denying it, and yet neither of you spoke it out aloud.

Instead you gasped, for air or for composure, you weren't all too sure. The reason didn't quite matter though, after all; not when Hyunjin's teeth grazed the sensitive of your skin, while his breath ignited a fire wherever it fanned your body, when his tongue dragged wetness across the naked of your lower tummy, until he teasingly kissed over the heat of your cunt. Gave kitten licks to your clit, not for your pleasure, but for his. Not to get you there, but to taste you on his tongue. Because Hyunjin thought it couldn't possibly get better than this; snugged in between your thighs, mouth full of you. It was addicting, made him want you in his bed for an eternity. And maybe it was more than sheer pleasure.

His tongue laid flat atop your slit, thick muscle lapping up your wetness, the sweet of your arousal. Humming against you as he did, sending delicious waves up the bones of your spine. You felt him all over you, yet it could never be enough, you thought. Your head was spinning at that point. Not forming coherent thoughts, only focus on the way Hyunjin's tongue made you feel - good wasn't a big enough word for it. Harsher growing licks and your knuckles drew white from the intensity of grabbing the sheets beneath you, and a pool of sweet anticipation flooded your guts - you were so close it hurt, and easing of the pain would be possible only by shoving Hyunjin's face further, deeper into your pussy. So your fingers found the softness of his locks, the mess of his strands that he hadn't tamed since morning and you pulled, arching your back simultaneously; anything to have him nearer.

The man's reaction was nothing if not primal; a groan past his throat, a rut of his hips against the mattress that never would ease him off - not the way you could, anyways -, a caging arm around your thigh, if holding you down or for his own stability, it was unsure. His tongue ever moving, up and down, side to side; anything to get you nearer.

The slick on Hyunjin's skin was uncomfortable, the residue of precum dampening the long dirty sheets beneath him. It was nasty, filthy. You had spent hours upon hours in his room, his bed, without leaving it; the substances that soaked into the material were unholy, as was the smell that was a stark reminder of the things you've been doing since you first waddled past the door. But Hyunjin was obsessed with it, loved it every bit. Loved having you like this, loved you had him like this, that you were reluctant to leave after all. Loved how your legs as though contracted in waves of elictricity, shuddered with every other lick Hyunjin gave to your slit, your clit, with every messy kiss he planted on the plush of your thighs. Until your back threw back on the cushion, and his bruised lips were covered in creamy slick that dribbled down his chin; not that it bothered him, he kept going, cleaned you up with what he had, lapped up your orgasm as much as he could. You were shaking still, squirming in his hold, broken moans a sign of how he made you feel - it was always more than just an ego boost, to know he got you to a state of mindlessness.

And the urge to kiss you was unbearable, to merge mouths and make you taste yourself on his tongue; but he didn't, for it would make him lose. Control and composure, any bit of self respect he had left, when the matter was you. So he brought the back of his hands up his lips, wiped once to get your taste off him. And he laid beside your spent figure, chest heaving up and down, eyes closed. And the only thing Hyunjin could do was hope. That you'd change your mind and stay, for hours more, til the sun rose up. That you'd change your mind altogether, when it came to him; so days like this wouldn't feel lonely at heart, so nights where you did end up leaving wouldn't come with a fear to never have you again, not in intimacy. That nights where you did stay wouldn't be ripe with regret, that eventually, there wouldn't be any boundaries the pair of you could break.

@etherealeeknow @linoskitty @unexceptional-h @rseanne @es-kay-zee @urcracksisx @jeyelleohe @yunkiwii @etheralsung @nyrasneedy @seochhj @spidercomics @chans-starlight @angelwonie @lix-ables @yvniek4ng @ppiri-bahng @sstarryreads @svintsandghosts @bokjaz @llunapastell