abcarwyn

[abcarwyn]

Mental Health Awareness - My Battle with Myself: When my ‘Enemy’ became ‘EneME’. *Somewhat non-educational*

Rationale

Everybody has mental-health, most people along the line will have some sort of difficulty with their mental-health, very few people (I believe) will have lived a life free of some sort of mental ailment. For a long time, I believed myself to be one of the latter. I was aware that for a good 80% of my life, I had tackled something known as ‘body dysmorphia’ (which had manifested from episodes of ruthless childhood bullying - ‘character building’ HA!) and this induced quite intense bouts of social anxiety and to some extent depression. Now, I had dealt (and obviously still deal) with these issues all my life, but nothing was ever clinical or life-threatening, I was able to manage my self-hatred through nothing less than a lot of practise, I could, as they say, ‘regulate’ these emotions. 

However, something happened to me last year which brought about quite possibly the worst couple of months of my life. I started a battle with myself that at the time, I could never see an end to, an all-out crusade that depleted every ounce of energy I had. The hardest battles we fight will often be with ourselves and I spent a good few months dealing with emotions that I pray every night, I will never see again. All a result of what can be described as ‘poor mental-health’. I’m sharing my experience not just because reflecting on our experiences can often help us understand ourselves better, but also to draw  focus to something I believe charities, movements, awareness days etc. often miss out on, the symptoms of poor mental-health. Behind every story is a message, and from my own experiences I hope to share a message that may prevent people going through what I did. 

My Experience

I can actually put a date on when this hellish journey began, 21st October 2018 (I only know this because of an email I sent to a lecturer regarding my absence a day after this all started), it was a Sunday. I started the day relatively positively, excited and eager for a rehearsal (as I always was), completely oblivious of what was to come. Then it started, a migraine. Now I’ve dealt with migraines in the past, I usually bring them on myself as a result of not eating for long periods of time, I think they’re a result of low blood-sugar but I’m no scientist, I really have no idea. This migraine was no different to any other I’d had, piercing headache, numbness of the tongue and what’s known as ‘transient aphasia’, which although sounds quite beautiful, is actually one of the most frustrating, terrifying and awful things to experience. Transient aphasia decimates your ability to concentrate, when I experience it, I cannot speak, read or write, my speech becomes slurred, I can only articulate nonsense and I become completely dead to the world. These symptoms often fade with paracetamol and a few hours of sleep, and indeed this one did. 

The next day, I had to miss a lecture, the migraine had come back, leaving me with an unfading headache and what was to be the worst few months of my life. The aphasia softened but the dull headache remained and it did so for months after, but that was just part of it. It’s important to note that I’d just had the most wonderful Summer with a resounding positive experience working with a language school that had boosted my faith in myself and my confidence, both intellectually and physically (seen as I had lost weight during the experience) and when I returned to University I naturally signed up to help out with all the events the Student’s Union could offer, I was on top of the world. I’ve always been an avid reader and a relentless watcher of television, this has provided me with a certain attachment to a diverse vocabulary and a solid grasp of how to articulate myself, going through school it was really all I had to my name, it was always a source of great pride for me, and as discussed, it was really all I had (which makes me sound pathetic but there we go, it is what it is). I mean, I’m no William Shakespeare, but I can string a sentence together. Back to the point, the second migraine had left me with a lasting dull headache (it felt like there was some sort of small creature pushing against my skull, trying to escape) and a sudden lack of concentration. I could barely speak, read or write, I was operating in a fog, and this fog was there to stay.

 Weeks rolled by and my condition worsened. I removed myself from many social situations because I just couldn’t articulate my thoughts, I would slur my speech, forget or mispronounce simple words, lose my train of thought, forget or mispronounce people’s names. Social media was no escape, immense concentration was required to read even the simplest of sentences and as for writing, I mostly terrified to even attempt it and when I did, every imminent, human spelling mistake or grammatical error was a devastating blow to my confidence. I dragged myself to lectures every now and again and it cost me any ounce of energy I had. All this while dealing with that irritating, dull headache and a terrifying blurred vision that would not subside. How did this affect me? I became depressed. Angry. Fearful. Self-loathing. I likened myself to nothing but a gibbering wreck, a mere shadow of what I used to be, a shell. I’d lost my voice, my concentration and any ounce of intellectual prowess I once had. I had very little patience for the people around me and it really demonstrated to me that people who claim to be supporters of those with mental-health issues require bold signs with ‘I HAVE A MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE’ to have any amount of compassion for those around them. I felt surrounded by gossips and naysayers who had nothing but contempt for what I could only describe as desperate screams for help. When people say, ‘you never know what people are going through, be kind’, that’s not just for the meek and the anxious, think about those maybe who you see as villains or obstacles for whatever reason. My absences were noted by those around me and I guess certain individuals didn’t have it in them to look at it in a sympathetic way. Nobody is immune to poor mental-health, and I found out the hard way that I wasn’t either. 

There are many ways to begin dealing with a small fire constantly burning behind one of your eyes and suddenly being unable to string a sentence together, I exhausted as many as I could: 

- I started by taking more paracetamol tablets than maybe I should have. Fail. (Never do this, I was desperate and stupid).

- Migraine tablets? Fail. 

- Eye-test? Fail 

- Stopped taking the antibiotics I take for acne-prone skin? Fail. 

- Blood tests? Fail 

Not many people know this but I actually applied for and endured a CT scan in semi-secret. There’s a lot of power in things that you tell people about yourself, and I’m very aware of that and it makes me deliberately selective. One thing I’ve taken from this experience and it was something I believed anyway, the NHS is a gift from God and despite what other people endure, I was given a CT scan in under a month, even though Christmas and the New Year was approaching. I’m very grateful to my doctor and the health service, I owe them a lot. But yes, the CT scan returned and there was nothing physical in my brain that would support the idea there was anything wrong with me. So I could rule that out. 

This is probably where we get to the point of the story. In the week or so leading up to the CT scan, I tearfully broke down to a lecturer and started seeing a University councillor. They both suggested that what I was experiencing could possibly be severe anxiety as a result of the pressure I was putting on myself to fulfil a certain expectation. I dismissed this theory. You see, at the time, mental health was something that other people struggled with. People with hardships, people with illness, people with children, severe stresses and other business.  It was something you saw on the television or maybe something your friends had. It was something you said that you always supported but never truly understood and obviously for everybody else, it was okay to not be okay. But not me, no, I was strong-minded, confident, well in control of my thoughts and feelings, this couldn’t possibly be anxiety, no this was obviously a brain tumour of some sort, this was out of my control, I had nothing to do with this. Of course, I was wrong. 

With the CT scan out of the way, I had no option but to take them up on what they said. My own brain had taken from me everything I held dear and my life was slowly starting to derail, my days had no meaning, everything I loved or enjoyed just seemed pointless, I was experiencing a cognitive impairment that had rendered any sort of higher-order thinking impossible to me, and it was killing me. So, I started the medication to deal with this issue for what it really was, anxiety. People told me what people will always tell you when you’re on anxiety medication:

‘It’ll get worse before it gets better’

‘Careful you don’t get addicted to them’

‘They’ll take a while to really kick in properly so don’t expect anything immediately’ 

And they were right of course, it took some time and few more sessions with a councillor and the fog started to clear, I could speak, converse... I felt so liberated. A milestone for me was my first proper teaching session in the third academic year, it wasn’t a placement but a little extra-curricular project with a local primary school. I could still teach, I could do it. I hadn’t lost that and it was so encouraging. I was coming back, regaining what I had never really lost. Ultimately it was concluded that the migraine had brought me crashing down at such a speed, it had produced a certain level of anxiety that was brought on from my own unrealistic expectations of myself, I was constantly comparing myself to what I ‘used’ to be, I had made my own past self into some sort of paragon and was aiming to be what can only be described as ‘perfect’, and this constant pressure and anxiety was making everything that much more difficult, and actually I came to realise, there was no ‘past self’, I was and always will be, me. 

But I learned so much about mental-health and about myself in what were quite literally the darkest days of my life and not only because my vision had been seriously impacted by anxiety. All this happened in the space of, what, about 4 months? October 2018 to February 2019. This is obviously not the case for everybody, but a mental illness can be suffered, diagnosed and treated in that time, mine was. 

The Message  

So, why have I bothered you and slowed down your day by telling you all of this? Simply because I think the more diverse and broader symptoms of anxiety aren’t advertised as well as they should be. I think we are talking about ‘supporting’ people with mental-health and ‘talking’ about our issues, but you know what we’re not explaining...? What those issues might be. I had no idea severe lack of concentration and headaches (which is what I was experiencing) can be induced by anxiety. I woke up every morning convinced I had a brain tumour because yes, I didn’t want to believe I had anxiety, but also for a long time I didn’t even think it a possibility. 

But also, I want to reassure people that actually, nobody is immune from a mental ailment and they can stem from anywhere. You don’t have to be sad, stressed, traumatised or whatever else to wake up one morning with a symptom of anxiety. However a person might be feeling, it is always worth to explore poor mental-health is a possible cause, because if I had, maybe I would have suffered less. 

Finally, one thing I haven’t mentioned just yet, is how grateful I am to have been surrounded by the most wonderful and supportive people I have ever met in my life. My own sister made a significant impact just by showing how much she cared and always making me feel like somebody was there. My flatmates (who are the best flatmates anybody could ever ask for, mainly because they put up with me) were there every step of the way, despite having their own issues and degrees to deal with, they could do nothing for me but listen and be understanding, there were times where I couldn’t even get their names right because my concentration was so poor. The University staff who counselled and sign-posted me, going far beyond their job description will always be a shining example of what excellent practice actually is, practice with compassion at its heart. There are so many people in my life who I could have shared my feelings with at the time, but actually, I didn’t want to bother them. There was nothing they could do, and that sometimes is the hardest thing about mental-health. The people around me couldn’t make the headache go away, paragraphs of text still frightened me immensely and it was a wonder they could even understand what I was saying most of the time, but actually, I did feel a little better knowing that the people around me knew I was a bit slow, and also why. A problem shared is a problem halved and all that. 

Am I completely out of the dark? No, I don’t think so. 

Am I still on medication? Of course, it is never anything to be ashamed of (literally no different to taking flu tablets for a cold) and I still rely on them to help my control the emotions that are induced by the pressure I put on myself. 

Am I better than I was? Immensely, just knowing that nearly a year ago I would never have been able to even dream about writing what you’ve just read, that’s how I know that I’m that little bit closer to where I want to be. 

[abcarwyn]

The Problem of Welsh: An Educational Perspective

Here, we talk about the difficulty facing language growth in Wales and how this has a lot to do with education in the past, present and future. Somewhere in this post, you’ll find a model that I pulled together a while ago, depicting the tricky cycle that Wales is trapped in regarding language. This post will be explaining that cycle and revealing what I feel is the reason that Welsh is facing such difficulty. Obviously, this is not technically a self-inflicted cycle as this is only a result of the language being purged from Wales decades ago, but now, we’ve managed to become trapped in a model of our own creation. 

19%

At the very heart of the cycle, we have a statistic. According to the 2011 Census, 19% is the number of people who proclaimed themselves Welsh speakers in 2011. I have no doubt that number is going to rise in the next Census (whether it’s for the right reason or not, I’m doubtful) but I have a funny feeling that might just be through population growth. Anyway, that percentage perpetuates the cycle and breathes life into it, allowing it to run it’s course in Wales. You’ll see why as we move forward. 

Curriculum (English-Medium sector)

In Wales, education is of course split into Welsh-medium and English-medium education, what we generally observe is those who leave Welsh-medium schools leave with a strong foundation and understanding of both English and Welsh, while English-medium schools release learners that have basic and rarely-applicable knowledge of Welsh language structure and vocabulary. There is a solid reason why. 

In Wales, most schools are still using the National Curriculum, if we take a peek at the curriculum document that teachers in English-medium schools use to teach Welsh as a second-language (find it here - https://s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/hwb-live-storage/ff/9f/57/de/d8f44d238d7e8f64a280a7ee/welsh-second-language-in-the-national-curriculum.pdf), we notice that it doesn’t even mention the word ‘fluency’. Personally, I would certainly argue that the goal of attempting to dedicate yourself to any language would be to eventually end up fluent, but we don’t have this set as an outcome in our primary curriculum. Teachers will know that politicians will always talk about ‘raising standards’ and ‘going for gold’ in education, but when it comes to Welsh in Primary Schools, we set very low standards of ourselves, embodying this lazy ideal in our own curriculum document. We are using a curriculum that does not teach for fluency, so naturally, we aren’t going to obtain it. The current interpretation of our current document means that often, there is very little progression or difference between what is happening in Year 3 classrooms, compared to what is happening in our GCSE Welsh classrooms. 

However, even if the document did mention fluency and even if we’re reading between the lines, it is hinted at, this doesn’t matter, because the rest of the cycle kicks into action. 

Teachers (English-Medium sector)

Firstly, it is really important to emphasise that teachers are most definitely not to blame for our current situation. Most teachers in English-medium schools are a product of this cycle and they cannot be expected to be able to speak Welsh after coming out the other end of it. But it is a factor, it is the reason we cannot design a curriculum for fluency because we do not have the practitioners to deliver it. You wouldn’t believe the pressure that is put on student teachers to be sufficient in English and Mathematics so that they are fully-qualified to teach a curriculum that strives for achievement and progression. This is less realistic of Welsh, but, you cannot expect somebody to be fluent in a language in three years, especially when Welsh is only one of several other modules student teachers have to pass. 

An obvious buzzword in language pedagogy is ‘immersion’, the act of drowning children in language (written and spoken) so that they’re little sponge brains soak it up and they are able to replicate and comprehend it. Teachers cannot deliver this to the same standard as they do with English, they do not have the skills (again, not they’re fault). However, the principle stands, you would not ask somebody who cannot play the piano to teach your children to play the piano. But God-bless teachers in English-medium schools, they are doing so well despite their current circumstances, soldiering on, going on courses, collaborating with other professionals in different contexts, outside agencies etc. they are doing everything for our children, but they’re caught up in a political ping-pong. 

However, before anyone dares to announce a cull on English-medium teachers, please note that only (apparently) 32.5% of teachers speak Welsh, and most of these are employed by Welsh-medium schools (as you’d expect). There aren’t the resources for it. 

Attitudes (Both English-Medium and Welsh-Medium sectors)

I’ve found, that quite often, despite language being something that centres around uniting people of one nation, Welsh can become quite a controversial topic among people. People’s passion regarding the topic will often depend on whether you went to an EM or WM school, which area you live in or perhaps the experiences you’ve had (VERY IMPORTANT). However, attitude is often the driving force of learning (Carol Dweck strikes again) and it cannot be denied that amongst both sectors there are attitude differences and at times, a resounding anxiety. 

This can be where people get sensitive but I literally speak from experience (and I know only an idiot assumes that they’re own experiences reflect the reality for everything but bear with me). Living in an area that had a low percentage of Welsh speakers and then one with a significantly higher percentage of Welsh speakers, I’ve personally witnessed the difference in attitudes regarding the language. Frequently, people often wish that they could speak it, but school didn’t give them the tools to get by and because of its lack of use in the area, they just don’t see the point. Alternatively, I’ve seen Welsh-speakers become hostile at those who don’t demonstrate proficiency in Welsh and in different ways. Both mentalities are unhelpful but they’re not surprising, they do however work to de-motivate people from going anywhere near the Welsh language and that 19% doesn’t go anywhere. 

I’m also not a great fan of there not being 100% effort being put into BILINGUAL input and signage, this means BOTH languages. Absence of either Welsh or English is unhelpful and rips the divide further.

 I won’t go into too much detail because I often upset people when I do, but turning up your nose and getting angry won’t deny the fact that at times there can be an observed divide and often those who are oblivious to it aren’t the ones responsible so if that comes as a shock to you, that’s not a surprise, but some people I think choose blissful ignorance. 

If you’d like to hear more about this factor, do give me a buzz. 

Environment (Both English-Medium and Welsh-Medium sectors)

You’ll notice that the entire model takes place in a green circle, symbolic of the environment. This should be interpreted as the environment in which first and second language Welsh learners grow-up and live in. 

As usual, my rantings are rooted in theory and of course we know of the immense impact that the environment and indeed the home-life has on learning. Well firstly, there is a notable increase in the amount of English as Additional Language (EAL) children there are in Welsh schools, striving to pick up English to the best of their ability; this isn’t to say that Welsh is detrimental to EAL children because it’s not, some children will smash English and Welsh in their first year of being in school, this is apparently quite often the case, so I hear. HOWEVER, the amount of pressure being put on schools to ram Welsh down children’s throats doesn't pay credence to the fact that some children in schools are barely capable of English and do not need the additional pressure of a minority language, this is putting politics and passion before the progress and well-being of a child, which is of course, not what we want. 

With regards to the environment, there is so much research out there that advocates for the idea that reading to children at home (especially when they’re young) and immersing them in language improves their prospects for both school and life (enough to sink the Titanic), there are children who go back to households that don’t even speak English, let alone Welsh. How are these children supposed to progress? Our children’s environments aren’t geared for language acquisition, so they’re having to learn it in a horrifically trivial and clunky way. 

Also, a lot of the time, a child’s environment doesn’t prove to them that Welsh is even worth their time because they only hear it in school and it’s not used in relevant contexts at home. This means, they do not see the point, they only see it used in artificial contexts in school (strung together by desperate teachers who are struggling with it themselves) and it’s just not worth anything to them. Those who have children will understand, if a child doesn’t see the point of something, you’ll certainly find out about it. 

Moving Forward

So, what do we do? 

Granted, I do not have the answer, it’s a very difficult position to worm out of. I have suggested in the past that a step in the right direction is Welsh-Medium schools taking a leading role in tackling this issue, they more than anyone have the tools to tackle this and often are believe in it with a bit more gusto (somewhere in this blog you’ll see something I threw together for a University project). But there will always be the issue of the fact that a vast majority of our population do not speak the language, and no, they’re not going to ‘just learn it’ because A) learning a language is difficult and B) nobody has given them a good enough reason to, and calling them nasty things and shouting at them is going to have 0% success rate, trust me, I speak from experience. 

They need help, they need understanding, they need encouraging smiles and lots of nods and patience. Granted, it sounds a lot like the pressure is mostly on those who can already speak Welsh and yes, I’m not 100% that’s fair, but welcome to the world of teachers. You love your subject, you love learning, you want to share it, you want to know how to share it, you do your absolute best, put all the patience in... and the government turns around and says standards are falling... hey-ho, can’t win them all. 

There is a new curriculum on the horizon and I will say at the moment I don’t see much in regards to that million speakers by 2050 that Welsh Government has set us as a target... if we hit it, it won’e be for the right reasons because planning to shut-down EM schools and build WM schools on top of them is certainly not the way to go about it. 

I’m considering a blog on my bonus, fifth purpose that I’ve added to Donaldson’s four (’Bilingually, literate communicators’) as I don’t feel he’s paid much credence to the importance of Welsh in the curriculum, but we’ll see. 

For English-medium teachers, keep going, it would be fair to say you’re fighting what seems to be a losing battle but there are people who go on from EM schools to study Welsh at university so you’re breaking through despite all odds being against you. 

For Welsh-medium teachers, keep going, you’re clearly doing something great because children are leaving schools bilingual and nobody is going to argue that this isn’t a good thing. 

But, everyone needs to look at collaboration, EM and WM schools need to partner up, tag-team, find a way, it will mean extra work, but if you ‘love Wales’ and you’re all about ‘Cymru am byth’ and that stuff, why not? 

For those outside of education, parents, shopkeepers, civilians, friends, neighbours, tourists... give Welsh a go. Aim for two Welsh words a day, then maybe in a month, make it 3. Your children are learning it in school, they’d like it more if they heard it at home, if not for your country, do it for your children. Nobody is judging, if they are shove a Carol Dweck book under they’re nose and call them a disgrace... but at least, give it a try. It is hard, harder than people give it credit for... but you’ve certainly done harder things. 

Ffrindiau, lwc dda. 

***NOTE TO PARENTS - The curriculum documents that teachers use in most schools (unless your school is a pioneer school) across Wales can be found here:

Foundation Phase (Nursery-Year2): https://learning.gov.wales/resources/collections/foundation-phase?lang=en 

KS2 (Year 3-6): https://learning.gov.wales/resources/collections/key-stages-2-4?lang=en , so many parents out there make so much effort to give their children the best head start in life and if you’re stuck for ideas, the curriculum is the place to go! Power to parents! *** 

[abcarwyn]

It’s time to stop using Traffic Lights in the Classroom!

Symbolism and Gestures in Education

For a very long time, practitioners have been using symbols and gestures in the classroom. They’re a quick and easy way of giving instructions, saving time and keeping things practical. In education and indeed the real world, symbols and gestures carry so much meaning, they give messages. Facial expressions? Thumbs up, thumbs down? Fingers on lips? Smiley faces? Ticks? Crosses? They’ve been up our sleeves for decades and there’s nothing wrong with them, our children need to learn to understand symbolism in this very poetic and very metaphorical world, it will benefit them in the long-run.

However, we’ve been using them for so long, I think we’re beginning to forget the power that they carry. True, they save us time, energy and vocal effort. Absolutely, they give children consistency and safety in a classroom environment (providing we’re using them correctly) and they most definitely have a place in our classrooms. But, there is one particular symbol that has stood the test of time and is being used universally in education, the Traffic Light.

AFL and Traffic Lights

I have no idea where they’ve come from, but practitioners everywhere have adopted them as a means of tracking well-being, behaviour, noise-levels etc., but least efficiently, learning.

We have taken a certain shift in education, where we know share criteria with learners more frequently, and allow them to assess their own learning, this is good stuff! As they progress into fully-fledged citizens, there will be an expectation in most professions to monitor their own progress and set their own goals and targets, among all the other massive benefits to learners tracking themselves, it’s actually good practise for the future. But, a frequent technique that learners are taugh is to ‘RAG’ rate themselves.

Now, I can see the benefits, it’s quick, easy (as easy as things can be sometimes with children, it gets messy sometimes when 30 children try to scrap for the amber pencil at once) and a nice way to make children track their learning. BUT, I think we’ve stopped thinking a bit, I think we’ve become complacent in what we’re asking of children, not questioning the norm. There is a problem with children using the Traffic Light system to assess their progress, and it ties quite nicely to the idea of symbolism and the work of (HRH😍💖) Carol Dweck.

We understand, that learning is continuum. This is consolidated in the existence of the LNF and DCF, each skill step informs the next in a necessary progression that works to consolidate skills and understanding. We presume, that children who cannot meet criteria needed for the Year 5 skill need a little more work on the Year 4 (maybe Year 3) skill and other important skills that inform that skill (you can’t produce an informative poster if you can’t hold a pencil or operate a electronic device). So we give them (or indeed they give themselves) a red and return to our planning, ready to cook up the next batch of lessons that support that child in meeting the skill. Carol Dweck would say this is a positive thing, there is an opportunity for learning. When we use red, what are we saying?

Look at it practically, what does red on the Traffic Light actually mean? STOP! Doesn’t it have negative connotations in our classrooms? Stop, danger, warning, alarm, failure etc. we have attached these ideas to the colour red and now we’re using it to talk about learning? Why is a child rated as ‘Red’ just because they cannot hit the Year 5 skill? Why is it time for them to stop? As adults we think ‘just colours’, but we’re missing an opportunity and consolidating the idea that if we can’t do something we’re in the red zone, we’re sad, we don’t get it, we can’t do it, we fail; these things are outrightly rejected by Carol Dweck, but schools still practising ‘Growth Mindset’ are using Traffic Lights.

Further, I have seen smiley face Traffic Lights (who am I kidding? I’ve used them myself!), the sad face is obviously red and the green face is happy. Why? Should a child who doesn’t get it be sad? Are we upset with them? Are they supposed to feel sad? I thought learning was a good thing and the less you can do, the more you can learn. Isn’t it odd that we’re just doing this casually without thinking? Telling learners it’s okay to not understand but them subconsciously inferring that it’s ‘red’ to not understand.

Some of you are rolling your eyes right now, ‘just colours’ you say. Just colours? No, symbols. We as humans pick up on symbols, they train us, our brain attaches to them, they inform us. There is a plethora of research out there supporting the work of Carol Dweck and quite rightly so because it makes logical sense, children who are not upset by failure will be more able to try again, less time wasted crying about failing and more time spent giving it another go.

If you’re thinking, ‘my children don’t think that, they’re just colours to them’, fine. That’s okay. This might be the case. BUT are you sure? And also, is there an opportunity for you to start introducing Carol Dweck in the classroom. For you to automatically work sharing criteria with learners and Growth Mindset into the classroom? Picture this:

Seed - Brown

Stem - Green

Flower - Pink

Just like that, you attach meaning to these colours, positive meaning that works to promote the idea that learning is a continuum, but to your children. There’ll be no bashing of seeds because they are symbolic of potential, capable of growing. Just like your children, just like those children who are now just ‘red’, with less idea of what to do next. As long as you really go hard on the symbolic aspect and emphasise the importance of growth and we just need the right environment, factors (like flowers!) and a can-do attitude, to grow.

Obviously, schools are using Traffic Lights differently across the globe, some attaching characters or phrases to the colours. But if you’re not, why not think about (or at least try!) this! Traffic Lights are disgustingly vague (what on Earth does ‘nearly there’ mean anyway? I panic when I see amber because I’m like... what now?). If you’re not already, I would recommend using phrases if the flower system isn’t for you.

Green - I can do it alone, a million times, back to front, all day, every day.

Amber - I could do it with a teacher or a partner, I feel nervous about doing in case I do it wrong, so I’d need a bit of support.

Red - I cry when I think of this and I wouldn’t even attempt it. (^ this is how I feel about planning😂😰)

At least then, children have somewhere to go, something to think of. Hit it home, make it a whole-school thing, get everyone onboard so the children really understand LEARNING. But again, why is a child who doesn’t understand ‘red’.

What I feel has happened, is teachers were using Traffic Lights for they’re own purposes, school being a bit political meant ‘red’ was supposed to put the fear of God into teachers so that they upped their standards, but somebody went ‘why?’ and we started sharing it with the children. Which was fine, but then Carol Dweck moves onto the scene and all of a sudden, failure is great, lots of opportunity for learning, but the way we assess children didn’t change. So our form of assessment, stopped aligning with our philosophy of education, and this is always going to cause problems.

So, have a think, be ‘educreative’ and ‘reflact’ (I’m coining those terms #copyright), think about what you’re telling your children, question their understanding of learning and Traffic Lights, and maybe try it my way, if they’re ‘just colours’, what have you got to lose? But those Red, Green and Amber crayons away and show the brown one the light, it only comes out when we start talking about the environment so why not give it some stage time. Incorporate ‘Growth Mindset’ into your pedagogy and your teaching, and see where it gets you. Because, it’s good to ask ‘why?’, but it’s better to follow it up with ‘why not?’.

Good luck💚

[abcarwyn]

“There’s a time and a place.”

An interesting sentiment, ‘a time and a place’, often used to stop individuals from doing something others don’t deem appropriate in a particular context. There are a range of contexts where this phrase stands true.

For example, it’s appropriate to keep your enthusiasm for martial arts in an environment where it can be managed. If you’re excellent at playing a musical instrument, it’s practical for you not to practise or hold a recital at 3am. If you enjoy getting frisky with a loved one, the public park at 4pm is not an ideal place for you.

However, let me share with you where I’ve been subject most to this phrase. Frequently, it’s when I’m getting passionate about education or sharing an idea, when I’m thinking out loud or conversing with somebody with similar educational interests, when I go off on a tangent about current educational fads. ‘There’s a time and a place’, I’m told.

Really? There’s a time and a place for ideas? There’s a time and a place for thought or originality? There’s a time and a place to question? Can I ask... when and where is it? Because, as far as I know, in the 21st century when there is a thirst for creativity and originality, there is always time for questions, there is always a place for discussion.

Throughout my life, I have been crucified and ridiculed, just for asking... ‘why?’. Why do we do things this way? Is there a better way? We’ve done this for so long, why? Is this right? People tell me I have ‘strong opinions’ and that ‘one day they’ll get me into trouble’, but as I see it... there is no such thing as a ‘strong opinion’, this is rubbish. An opinion cannot be ‘strong’, the strength of an opinion lies only in an individual’s perception and in which case is subject to differ universally. No, there is no such thing as a strong opinion, there is only strength in which it is held and the passion with which it is shared. I think these things, I ask these questions and I engage in these discussions for the one simplistic reason, that I CARE.

I care so much about education and the fate of children as we know them today, I care enough to question if what we are subjecting them to gives them the optimum result. I care about them receiving the absolute best that we can provide and to do that I need to question what has come before me.

However, there are so many times when something I have said has hushed a room, has drawn strange gazes, has ‘offended’ some. Because people shrivel at questioning of the norm, people neglect the idea that what is being practised at the moment is wrong or not the best thing that could be happening. And the one thing I struggle to fathom, is why.

‘It’s the way you say it’, they argue. ‘It’s how you come across’ they whine. Is this important? Is this relevant? Is my passion frightening? Do my words sting? Do you hold yourself so close to what is already happening that when it’s questioned with vigour you allow that to determine your perception of me? Why?

‘You’re a strong character and it gets a bit much for some people’, this is what I get, quite often. People so caught up in personality and mannerism that they lose sight of ACTION, INTENT and THOUGHT. Should strong characters not be listened to? Should those who stand out be told to sit down? Should we all just blend in and let any form of creativity or originality shared with passion be crushed because it’s ‘too much’.

I’ve taken on board what’s been said and I’ve decided to start this blog. Just a little collection of the thoughts I have about education and where it’s going, just a few times where I’ve sat and thought ‘why?’. Not because I’m ‘arrogant’, not because I’m a ‘know-it-all’, not because I want to ‘stand out from the crowd’. But because I have ideas, because I love and am so passionate about children and education, because I know, as any idiot does, we have a long way to go and I’d rather be the person who pushes us along than digs their heels in the ground.

I won’t let harsh words and unfair judgements of my character stop me from trying to make a positive difference to the thing that I love.

Needless to say, all opinions are my own.