#but is like if i must be hear u must know i am extremely extremely extremely displeased

[3-aem]

asking my cat why he always scratches my irreplaceable novelty tshirts but leaves my ugly corporate garb alone

[troublesomesnitch]

The Novice

Aemond x Septa!Reader

The one-eyed prince makes a late night confession.

Contents: Book!Aemond. Pure filth, extremely dubious consent/non-con. Confessional dirty talk, coercion, power imbalance.

Words: 4200

Mostly book!Aemond, but with some show elements added to make him a real piece of shit.

CW: sexual assault!

Proof read, but I am not good at proof reading.

-

Twice a week, the grand sept receives fine visitors.

It is always something you look forward to, something special and exciting; hearing guards in the streets outside, and the swift feet of errand boys running to inform your superiors.

The queen will be arriving shortly. 

There is not much preparation that needs to be done, because you never tarry in your duties - there are always fresh matches laid out, candles ready to be lit, not a spec of dust on the altars. But for the queen, you go above and beyond. You fetch cushions for her dainty knees, you light incense in every corner, and you usher out any crowds that are not worthy of her presence. 

You greatly admire the queen. She is all that a lady should be, the very image of womanhood. Gracious, pious, beautifully but modestly dressed, and always kind and courteous to you. She says thank you, and blessed day, sweet Sister, and she asks about your training, your health and wellbeing, what charitable causes you wish to devote yourself to. 

The older septas say that the queen seems to have taken a liking to you, and that perhaps if you are lucky, she will request for you to join her household once you have taken your vows. To be a helper and companion to her daughter, and to teach the little prince and princess - her grandchildren, which is a strange thought, because the queen is so young and so beautiful to already be a grandmother. 

She is certainly much younger than her husband. The king is old and frail and rarely leaves his castle now, but even in his youth, he never came to the sept. At least that is what you are told. Septon Alester says he is an unworthy husband, and an unworthy ruler, too. A heretic, like all the rest of his Valyrian kin, who flout divine law and believe themselves above the gods. 

You would never dare to utter such a thing, but it seems at least partially true - in all the time you have served the sept, the king has never accompanied his queen to prayer. Not even once. She always comes alone, escorted by her guard and her maid. And sometimes by her son. 

The one-eyed prince. The one who rides the largest beast in the world. 

There are many rumours swirling about noble lords and ladies, but especially about him. In the taverns and winesinks people say he is of a sullen disposition, and that the loss of his eye at such a young age has left his face hideous and deformed - clearly they have never seen him, but you have, and you know it is nothing more than malicious slander. 

The prince is as beautiful as his mother. 

They look lovely when they kneel together by the altar, with their hands delicately folded and their heads respectfully bowed. Regal, godly. Like the Mother and the Warrior, you think. You often wonder about the contents of his prayers - what could a royal prince possibly wish for? Not as many things as a queen, it would seem, because he never kneels for as long, retreating after a minute or two to stand and wait for his mother. Watch over her; look at her with devotion and reverence. You cannot help but steal quick glances at him; at his graceful posture and his strong face, and you are always too slow to look away, so sometimes he catches you in it. Even when you stand on his blind side, he somehow knows to turn his head and meet your gaze. The little bow he gives you is courteous, but the taunting smile that follows is not, and you must always remind yourself that you have done nothing wrong. 

It is not a sin to be curious. 

—

When the evening bell tolls, and the city gates close, the High Septon calls to prayer. But one person must always stay behind to keep vigil until the morning, and the duty is shared between all servants of the Faith. Septons and septas, novices, even holy brothers and sisters, sometimes. Only the Most Devout are exempt from it, as well as those who are weakened by illness or old age.

You are neither, but you do not mind taking your turn. It is an easy task, as all of the city is asleep, and those who are not would much rather drink and carouse than come to a place of worship. Here, the night is quiet and calm, and you quite like these hours of solitude. Alone in the sept with only the statues, and maybe the gods, for company. 

On this day though, you are startled from your thoughts when the heavy doors are swung open. 

You have never before encountered guests at this hour, so your fearful imagination is quick to jump to conclusions - the man could be a thief, a common brute, a scoundrel hiding from a brawl, or - gods forbid - from the City Watch.

But when you peek out from your little corner, you are surprised to see that it is the prince. And that he is alone. 

He is dressed differently tonight, in dull colours and coarser fabrics, far simpler than what he usually wears. Perhaps in an attempt to go unnoticed among the common people - but if that was indeed his intention, he has very much failed. Everything about him is unusual, from his hair to his eye to the shining silver clasp at his neck; the immaculate tailoring of each of his garments. Even the way he carries himself makes it abundantly clear that this is no grocer or stonemason. 

You cast your eyes down as his steps echo through the sept, purposeful and determined.  Clearly heading towards you, but you would hate to be presumptuous, so it is only when he is right in front of you that you rise from your seat to curtsy. Reverently, so deep that your knee almost touches the floor. 

“Sister,” he nods. “I have sins I wish to confess - a troubled mind I wish to unburden.” 

You curtsy once more, though not as low this time.

“I am not ordained to hear confessions, but I should be happy to fetch a septon - “

“No,” the prince says. “I will speak to no one but you.” 

What he demands is a breach of the rules, and a cruel thing to ask of you, but there is not much to be done about it. You can hardly refuse a prince of the realm, and what if he tells his mother that you were unhelpful? After all, it is your sacred duty to comfort and guide the faithful. To lead them on the path to righteousness. 

So you nod, draping your veil over your head as you both sit down on your little bench. Right beside one another, so close that your legs almost touch. A proper septa would say confess, and may the Father judge you justly, but that is not appropriate for you, so you merely look down at your folded hands and wait for the prince to speak. 

“I am plagued by impure thoughts,” he begins. 

The colour drains from your face in an instant. Oh, not this. 

Anything else, you do believe you could handle. Envy, drunkenness, greed, gambling, even violent offences, perhaps. Anything but this. But you remain calm; force yourself to keep your composure as you speak. 

“All young men have impure thoughts. It is perfectly natural.”

From the corner of your eye, it looks as though the prince smiles ever so slightly. 

“Of course,” he nods. “But mine are by nature nefarious, because the lady I desire is a chaste and pious woman… a maiden, and justly proud of her innocence. She would be distraught if she knew the wickedness she inspires.”

You feel yourself blushing. Although you are sufficiently educated on the matter, speaking of such things makes you feel ashamed and uncomfortable. As it would most young women. Confession or not, nothing about this conversation is appropriate, and you want nothing more than to be done with it and return to quiet contemplation. You keep your eyes cast down, and you are as curt as you dare when you answer. 

“Then you should not sully her, My Prince, even in your thoughts. You should pray to the Smith for strength, or to the Warrior if you prefer, and occupy yourself with noble pursuits. Prayer, studies, and so forth.”

“Oh, but I do,” the prince says gravely. “I devote my every hour to noble pursuits. And yet time and time again I sully her, and my own hand too in the process -  yes, I must confess that I have sinned exceedingly, in both thought and deed. These urges of mine are so unbearable, I simply must relieve myself…” He pauses to look at you coolly, his brows drawn together in a disapproving frown. “You look quite pale, Septa, is my confession too scandalous for you? I should hope the Faith would not admit a novice so unfit for her position…”

“Of course not,” you quickly mutter, though in truth, you are mortified. This is far beyond your station and skill. Not only is the matter highly delicate, but you must also carefully choose your words so as to not offend a member of the royal family. And one with a - supposedly - unfortunate temper at that. 

“It is not for me to command a prince,” you begin, “but it is my duty to remind you that the Faith condemns such practices - surely you know that by indulging your urges, you will only make them stronger.”

“I have tried to refrain from it,” the prince laments. “But even then, she haunts me…  at night, I dream that I lie on top of her - that I spread her thighs and press her body to my own. And these dreams are so vivid, so terribly arousing, they often cause me to - forgive me, Sister - emit my seed.” He sighs deeply, and turns his face away, his shoulders tense; his handsome features full of torment. “A rather shameful predicament, for a grown man - is it not?” 

Perhaps, you think, but a common one nonetheless, and not something he should be chastised for. You know perfectly well that there are some functions of a man’s body that are beyond his control, as do the gods who made it so. It is best not to dwell on it. 

“My Prince,” you say instead, with what little confidence you can muster, “ - with your permission, I would offer you this advice: if you cannot restrain yourself, and if you care for this lady, then you should court and wed her.” You fiddle nervously with your dress, lowering your voice to barely more than a whisper. “It is a wholesome thing, for spouses to give their bodies to each other - for a man to make love to his wife…”  

The prince hums, either in agreement or contemplation, you can’t tell. But you hope he will take your words to heart, and make this irresistible woman his wife. If the mere sight of her can stir such passion, then he would surely grow to love her deeply, and their union would be happy and prosperous. Blessed by the gods.

- Or maybe not.

“I am afraid that is not possible,” the prince says. Slowly, thoughtfully. “Because you see, my lady is a septa - a novice, as it were…” 

His words trail off, and his hand reaches to caress your face, right by the edge of your veil, where a strand of hair has loosened from its pin. 

You recoil at once, springing from your seat to look at him with shock and horror. 

“This is highly improper - “

“I have thought of nothing but you,” he exclaims, impassioned, rising quickly to reach for you once more, “ - since the day I saw you, I have wanted no one else - ”

Again you manage to evade his embrace, but the prince is tall, and his legs are long and agile. Each one of his strides is worth two of yours, and when you back away he follows, stepping ever closer until you are backed up against a pillar.

Oh how you wish that it had only been a thief come to rob the sept. You could have easily escaped out the little hidden door by the dias; let them take whatever riches they could carry.  There is only silver here, and the Faith has no shortage of that.

The prince is after something far more precious. 

“Don’t touch me - ” you plead, feeling your pulse quicken, the hair rise on the back of your neck. He is too near, moving to loom over you, intimidating and imposing, and so tall that he must bend to brush his nose against your hair. 

“It is a waste,” he murmurs. “That such beauty should only belong to the gods.”

You should flee. You should defend your virtue. Maids and ladies, harlots and tavern girls, all women know to protect themselves, to kick where a man is the weakest, to scratch, bite, shout, make a racket. There are guards patrolling the square outside, and septons sleeping nearby in their cells - if you were loud enough, someone would hear you and come to your aid. 

But at what cost, when your assailant is a prince? 

You dare not risk it, so you stand frozen in place, too frightened to push him away, too frightened to even look at him as he gropes your body, touching it in ways that it has never been, and should never be touched. One of his arms wraps around your waist, the other trails over your dress, feeling your shape underneath the fabric. Your stomach, your hips, your bottom, and especially your breasts. 

He cups them with both hands, kneading and massaging them hard, pressing his fingers into your flesh.

“I would take you right here,” he breathes. “Against this very pillar, for all your gods to see - ” 

The blasphemy, the shameless vulgarity - you gasp, and at the sound, the prince chuckles faintly. 

“You said yourself it is a wholesome thing…”

“For husbands and wives -” you squeak, “please, you mustn’t hurt me!“

“Never,” he says, bringing your hand to rest on his chest, over his heart, as if to reassure you. “If you would only oblige me, I swear I will be gentle…”

You shake your head, but it does not dissuade him. He kisses your hair, your cheeks, the shell of your ear, touching his lips to every little sliver of exposed skin. Not just your face and neck, but your forearms too, your wrists, the insides of your elbows. Anywhere that lets him truly feel you. Feel the rapid beat of your pulse; the warmth and softness of a woman’s body.

And as he touches you, you feel him. His manhood, stiff against your hip when he presses himself against you, moaning softly at the feeling. It is a most intimate sound, and you are ashamed to realise that your body instinctively responds to it; to the closeness, the touch of a man. You feel warm in your chest, and wet between your legs - unnerving, and so at odds with the panic that still grips you, with the tears that prickle in your eyes. 

“Please don’t - ” you whimper, just as his teeth graze your jaw, drawing a single, involuntary sigh from your lips. One that spurs him on to swiftly yank the veil off your head and discard it, fully exposing your hair and neck. 

He pulls back to look at you, your neatly pinned tresses, your smooth throat and collarbones. Your beauty that he has long wished to admire. 

“Like an angel,” he says softly, longingly, taking your face in his hands and stroking your cheeks with his thumbs. “A little angel - the Maiden in the flesh - “

“That is a blasphemous thing to say,” you sniffle. 

It only makes him laugh, and before you can say anything else, he tilts your face up so he can press his mouth to yours. 

No one has ever kissed you before. Many boys have wanted to, but none were ever allowed the privilege. You always knew you did not want to be a wife. That you had a different calling. 

It is a very strange sensation, this kiss. Hot, wet, and sticky. You do not return it, and yet the prince is undeterred, parting your lips softly but insistently, just enough to slip his tongue inside. It gives him pleasure, even when your mouth is slack and unresponsive - you can tell from his blissful sighs, and from the indecent way he moves his hips, rubbing the prominent bulge in his trousers against you. He is so entranced by your mouth and your body that you feel a treacherous sense of relief, thinking to yourself that if this is how he wants to gratify himself - by licking your tongue and humping against your hip - you will let him. No real harm has been done to your virtue, and the gods will understand you had no choice. Already you are silently saying your prayers, to the Warrior for courage, the Mother for compassion, the Father for leniency  -

But you are cruelly interrupted when the prince draws back and begins to loosen the closure of his breeches. 

“No - oh no, no - ,” you shriek, but as you try to wriggle from his grasp, his face hardens and his gentle touch becomes like a vice. Rough and unyielding, holding you in place. 

“You must forgive me,” he rasps, his gaze dark with lust, his nostrils flaring, “ - for I can no longer deprive myself of what I so desire...”

He is so much stronger than you. With an impeccably polished boot he shoves your feet apart, his one hand pinning your arms behind your back, the other hiking up your skirts, determined, deaf to your frantic pleas. 

“You don’t understand, I must remain chaste!”

“Don’t lie to me,” he hisses, “I know the workings of the Faith, you’ve taken no solemn vows yet - “

“No, I have, I have!” you cry. “I pledged myself to the Maiden when I was a girl!”

It is the truth, but the prince does not care. He silences you with another desperate kiss, crushing his face to yours, reaching to hook his hand under your knee and lift your leg. He has you trapped, pinned between his body and the stone column, and you can claw at him until your hands bleed, it makes no difference. Your dress is bunched up, your legs forcibly parted, your most intimate secrets laid bare to be violated. A great sin, made even greater by the circumstances, and yet the gods have abandoned you, left you here to suffer. 

They must be occupied elsewhere, and the statues too stand motionless on their plinths, with their tranquil faces, staring blankly into the distance as though deliberately blind to your tragedy. 

To the hand that worms its way underneath your smallclothes. The nails that dig into the back of your neck, holding your head in place. The mouth that swallows up your sobs until he is forced to break the kiss so he can reach between your bodies and finish unlacing his breeches. 

You gasp for breath, looking up and straight at him, your eyes wet and pleading, your lip trembling. 

“Don’t ruin me, please - I beg you, don’t take from me what can never be replaced - “

The prince’s hand hesitates on your thigh. His one eye flickers between your two, between the tears that flow uncontrollably down your cheeks; your little hands clenched into fists against his chest.

For a split second there’s a shadow of something softer on his face, a strange draw around his mouth, and then he curses and releases your leg. And you bolt, without thinking, ducking under his arm to sprint towards the door and safety. 

You manage all of two steps before the prince catches you and pins you to the pillar once more. 

“Not yet - ” he orders, slipping a hand down the front of his trousers to finally free his member from its confines. He cradles it at the base to proudly show it off before he begins to stroke himself, shamelessly and urgently, while you look on. At once frightened and sinfully curious. 

You have never seen it before. The masculine organ. Only in drawings, of which some were intended to educate young women, and others were of a much lewder nature. The prince’s manhood does look much like those anatomical illustrations, only it is bigger in person than you had imagined. Hard and swollen with need. It fits perfectly in his fist, and the skin glides back to reveal the head, which is thick and meaty, and a dark purple red. It almost looks as though it should be painful for him, having it filled and engorged in such a way. Having it stretched to be so big. But of course you know that is not the case. And even if you didn’t, his gasp of pleasure would have made it very clear. 

He reaches for your wrist, tugging it down between his legs, and you are quick to look away when he closes your fingers around it, with his own hand on top. Somehow, you reason that if you keep your eyes averted, it is not as sinful. Not as deserving of punishment. 

But you can still feel it. In your palm, against your clammy skin. Warm, and pulsing as he squeezes your fingers tight around the shaft, moving them from the base to the tip and back down again, using your hand to pleasure himself. Slowly at first, but as his arousal grows he quickens the pace, moving your hand only over the tip of his member, massaging the bulbous head with quick movements. All the while groping at your chest.

And you let him do it. All of it, resigning yourself to be used at his will and pleasure. It is the best and safest course of action now, and all you can do is bear it. You keep your sobs inside, and your eyes cast down, staring mindlessly at the patterns in the stone floor until the prince’s hand seizes your jaw. 

“Look at me,” he commands through gritted teeth, running his thumb over your mouth, pressing against your lips. “Open - suck, use your tongue - “

You do as he says, wanting so desperately to just be done with it - once he has finished he will surely let you go. The thought prompts you to suck on his fingers with increasing fervour, taking them deep into your mouth, running your tongue along the length of them, along his knuckles; making him gasp at the feeling.  

“Fuck, like that - gods yes,” he moans, letting go of your hand to lean against the pillar for support, his eye falling closed, his hips making shallow, instinctive thrusts.

You continue with the same movements, up and down over his manhood, trying to mimic exactly what he did before, whilst still sucking on his fingers, too. Letting him feel your soft mouth and your warm lips; your little wet tongue caressing his skin. You haven’t a clue as to what you are supposed to be doing, and there is no grace or skill to your licks, but each swirl of your tongue makes the prince moan regardless. He would probably much rather feel this attention somewhere else, but clearly he has the wits to know that shoving his member into an unwilling mouth is not a wise idea. So he contents himself with this. 

And thankfully, it does not take long before your efforts are rewarded.

When you choke back a mewl his hips jerk forward, and his hand flies down to close around yours again, guiding you to squeeze him harder and faster. His jaw goes slack, and his manhood stiffens even more, and even though you are inexperienced, you know what it means. You can feel it, feel his sac tighten, feel him twitch in your hand as semen travels up his shaft. He bends to lean his forehead against yours, and finally, finally, he spurts, moaning with pleasure as he empties himself onto your hand, his seed pulsing out in hot, wet squirts. Soiling not only your skin and your dress, but your conscience too; your virtue, honour and dignity.

And at last it is over. 

The prince slumps forwards against you, hiding his face in your neck. His body trembles with the final waves of his rapture, and he brushes his fingers over your hair in a strangely intimate way, a tender way. As though you were lovers. 

In a sense, now, you suppose you are. 

Before he leaves you he quickly tidies his clothes, throwing his cloak around his shoulders and tucking his shirt into his trousers. And once he has made himself presentable, he retrieves your veil too. Brushing it off with a gloved hand and draping it over your head once more. 

“Thank you, Sister,” he says sweetly, cradling your face to kiss your lips and then your forehead. “I feel much more at ease now.” 

No sooner have the doors closed behind him before you fall to your knees by the Maiden’s altar to beg for her forgiveness. 

Part 2: The Devil You Know

Please feel free to come into my asks or DMs with critique of my fics! Constructive is preferred, but not required.

Tags. @arcielee, @helaelaemond, @targaryen-madness, @qyburnsghost.

[l0nelyish]

It‘s about that sandwich!

natasha romanoff x fem!reader

prompt: where you just can’t help but stun Natasha… and maybe get on her nerves? she doesn’t know which one it is.

nothin but pure fluff and nat being pouty af

lil bit of grumpy nat x sunshine reader if you squint.

3rd pov

„That‘s it.“, Wanda turned around, confused. Witnessing Natasha angry, sure thing. Witnessing her confused? never.

“What’s the matter with you, everything alright?”

Natasha huffed, pouting almost childlike. It’s so not like her to seem this openly frustrated, but she couldn’t care less. “Do I seem alright to you? No. This is the fifth time this month she’s been emptying one of the pbj ingredients before i could make one for myself.”, she dragged her eyes across the room, almost analyzing as in ‘hide and seek’. Where could you have been? And why do you have to steal ‘her’ ingredients? Natasha was bothered by you, yes. Extremely.

Wanda took another look at Natasha and chuckled: “Damn, does a peanut butter and jelly sandwich really have that much value to THE black widow? Oh my Lord.”

Natasha almost wanted to hit Wanda in the head with her slices of bread. It was really tempting, she had to admit. The witch shot her a knowing look, most likely hearing her thoughts. Again, the Russian woman huffed. Her temper was really not her strongest suit. Especially not after provoking it.

“It has a decent amount of value, thank you. What do you want me to say? ‘Oh my God! I can’t live without a pbj sandwich! Help me!’ ?”, Natasha shot her a glare, sarcasm being her best suited form of selfdefense. She truly is a witty woman.

On the other side of the kitchen aisle, Wanda tried her best not to fall into a laughing fit. Never has she ever seen Natasha this distressed, this fuzzy. And then, after really considering who they were discussing, she sent her friend a knowing smirk:

“Are you really this cranky about two bread slices or is it because of your ‘definitely not crush’ ?”

Natasha stared at her, eyes blown in shock: she got caught. Again. She usually wouldn’t let someone else read her this easily, but since this is you they’re talking about, and it’s Wanda she’s talking to, there really is no reason to facade it. Still, she tries to deny: “I told you a hundred times, I don’t like her! I can’t even stand her. I mean, she empties the food. What am I supposed to eat now?” So wrong. Even Natasha knows her whole act of trying to hate and blame you for everything is not working and it’s just her best shot at ignoring the rising feelings she’s got for you. But could anybody blame her, really? When you were this excited, extremely beautiful, empathetic and shiny human being?

You entered the kitchen, unaware of the ongoing dispute. Hot on your heels, you scanned the room and reacted to Natashas last sentence: “Did Steve forget the groceries? Are you hungry?”

And just like that, after merely 5 seconds, Natasha dreaded holding a grudge. Her whole demeanor snapped (no pun intended) and her eyes gazed almost neutrally into your warm gaze: “Someone emptied the whole peanut butter jar. And now I can’t make my dinner.”

Surprisingly, you sent her a goofy smile: “Oh! That must have been me, I’m extremely sorry, Tasha. I do have another half of my pbj sandwich left though, I was about to refrigerate it.”, you held up your plate. She gave it a look and panicked internally: were you really about to share your meal? As if gathering her freight, you again sent her a toothy smile and handed her the leftover half. “Enjoy!”, was all you stated, leaving both women standing around the kitchen isle. Plus the pbj sandwich, which Natasha stared at for longer than necessary. The corners of her mouth started to form a smile, which after some contemplation she insisted on not following through.

Wanda, who encountered the whole interaction, had a huge smirk on her face.

Natasha on the other hand, without having to look at her friends face, mentally face palmed herself for always getting so stuck up around you.

“Don’t.”

“I didn’t say anything… but enjoy your meal.”, with that, Wanda left a flushed Natasha stood in the compound’s kitchen.

The widow took another look at your, no her, plate. And after a year, she still can’t wrap her head around it:

What was she going to do about you?

[gtgbabie0]

HI, i love your work about the marauders and hotd and i was wondering if u would write cregan stark fluff with jealous reader but if u don't want to its okay. HAVE A GREAT DAY

-Cregan Stark x reader

{House Ryswell seeks an audience with Cregan Stark, and their daughter seems to take quite a liking to him}

I got extremely carried away with this, I hope you enjoy lovelies! 💕

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆

It's strange how time can seem so slow when your mood has been soured by something so silly, something that you're sure you have made up in your own mind, to defend the feeling of this unadulterated jealousy that slithers its way at your heart tugging on it every so often.

Foolish, you think, although you're not quite sure what exactly it is about this whole situation you find, foolish. Is it the way, Cregan smiles at the ever-beautiful Lady Darla of house Rsywell? or is it because your mind has convinced you that Cregan would break your trust like that? maybe, it's her ever thinking she stood a chance with your husband. Whatever it might be it's sure is foolish.

But it's real nonetheless, horrible and very real. The jealousy that bubbles deep within you only fuels the doubts that plague your mind, and those same thoughts conjure another dreadful feeling, something that pinches at your heart as you watch Lady Ryswell place a dainty hand on Cregan's arm, insecurity it finds an unwelcome home within your chest.

Despite sitting so close to Cregan, you still feel miles away, watching him converse, lost, within his own world with the Lady next to him. You feel ignored and as you glance around the room you're sure that everyone else sees it too, you've been pushed aside like some sickly wife that's nearing her time.

It's only when you hear Cregan's warm chuckle do you look over to the pair once again, her hand sits higher up on his arm, there's something about the sight that breaks you. As if it couldn't get any worse Drala turns to you with a smile that makes you sick to your stomach, warm and inviting.

"Your Husband is so charming Lady Stark" she giggles, her hand still against his arm, and you swear she squeezes it ever so softly.

Slamming your cup down against the wooden table, with more vigour than you had meant, you clear your throat, "Yes he is- charmed me right into marriage" It gets a laugh or two from the others is House Ryswell.

Drala's mother even leans to you whispering a humoured, "My husband could learn a thing or two" You watch as she glances over at him with a teary smile, he seemed quite caught up with gawking at the maids, "That man knows nothing of charm" she spits before leaning back into her chair.

Cregan's hand rests against your thigh, and for a second, your racing mind seems to calm down, it's as if you can finally breathe, and then he pulls away going back to what must be a riveting conversation with Darla. You've had enough of this torture, no longer being able to bare it you call for Lyra, keeping a hushed tone as she bends down to you slightly.

"I think I am ready to retire for tonight," you tell her through gritted teeth, trying to keep the barrage of emotions at bay, she gives you an understanding nod.

"Of course M'lady " She smiles softly as she hurries off to your bedchambers preparing a change of clothes for your arrival.

You stand keeping a strict posture, it's only now do you feel as if you finally have caught Cregan's attention. "Forgive me, but I think I shall call it a night" You bite back the tears that collect along your lash line nibbling your cheek.

"Aw already? Just when I thought our conversation was bearing good fruit" she whines, her voice going straight through you just like nails on a chalkboard, she pouts, a spoiled brat who knows no discipline.

"Oh please, don't feel inclined to stop on my behalf" You smile with a curt bow before turning your heel and leaving, ignoring the way Cregan calls for you, an advance he must've given up on quite quickly as Darla calls for more drinks practically begging your husband to stay, you don't hear the rest of the conversation too focused on trying to calm your breathing.

"Lady Stark" Lyra bows softly as you walk into your bedchambers, shutting the heavy wooden door behind you with an exasperated sigh. "I have prepared you some tea m'lady," she says with a gentle tone as you sit down in front of your vanity. She makes starts to unclasp your necklace.

"Thank you Lyra, you're far to-" and before you can finish your sentence the door opens with a low groan. You don't bother turning around already knowing who it is.

"Lyra, could you give us a minute" Cregan huffs, sounding very unamused as he walks into the candle-lit room.

"Of course m'lord," she says, bowing as she rushes out of the room, and it's then the silence hits, smothering the room with its thick presence that you're sure it could snuff out the flames of the various candles.

You look at him through the reflection of the mirror as he sits down on the fur-covered sofa, running a hand through his hair before finally glancing over at you, there's something in his eyes that makes you feel... small, you have always said you would hate to be on the receiving end of Cregan's anger, that any man to challenge him would be a fool.

"Would you like to explain to me what exactly just happened?" he asks, frustration seeping into his tone and your answer or rather lack thereof only fuels it further. "Do you find pleasure in ignoring me?" he huffs, giving you a rather annoyed look.

And as childish as it might seem, you were. "Yes, well now you know how it feels, don't you?" you mumble, untying the pins in your hair before taking off your rings.

"What?" he questions watching in slight shock as you stand up, the chair behind you drags along the floor with a shriek.

"Tell me, Cregan, do you think our marriage is a farce?" you ask turning to face him with tears in your eyes, tears that you try so hard to hold back, "Do you take enjoyment out of making a mockery of our marriage?" your hands shake with the sudden adrenaline as you point at him, your finger nudging his should as rage pinches at your skin, he looks up at you with hurt in his eyes and for a minute you feel inclined to apologise.

He stands up, trying to reach for your hands but you don't let him as you pull away from his touch, he accepts defeat with a heavy heart, the sight of your tearful face makes his stomach drop.

"A farce? What in the seven hells are you on about women?" the hurt that sits in his chest slowly churns into something much more as it wraps around his heart squeezing it with force.

"Do not play ignorant with me Cregan" You speak through gritted teeth as he inches closer to you, "You sat there the entire night ignoring me whilst you entertained that naive girl" You feel your knees buckle under the stress of it all as you fall back onto the bed with a soft bounce.

"I was merely trying to be a good host" his voice is so gentle, calm that it makes you angrier.

"Being a good host does not substitute you pushing me aside like some sick dog as you fool around with her!- the entire night." you huff biting the inside of your lip.

"You're jealous?" he asks in almost disbelief.

"What?- Jealous I'm-" You can't deny it, you were, you were jealous of the pretty Ryswell girl and how she seemed to have captured Cregan's attention.

"You are missing my point entirely," you whisper leaning into him as he sits down on the bed next to you.

"I'm sorry- you're right, I should've paid more attention to you," he says, wiping away the tears that fall from your eyes, "I meant no harm by it, I swear." he presses a gentle kiss to your hairline.

"It was embarrassing Cregan, the way they all looked at me with pity in their eyes. I am your wife." you sigh, the events of tonight wearing down on you more than you thought, and now the fabric of your dress felt all too tight and itchy.

"Forgive me my love- my beautiful wife" he says pressing another kiss to your shoulder as he helps you up from the bed.

"You can get Lyra to help me if you want to go back to entertaining our guests" you whisper, testing him a little as you sneak a glance his way.

"There are no guests to entertain sweetheart, I called it off as soon as you left," he mumbles against your neck as he continues to peppers soft kisses to your warming skin.

He undoes the lace of your dress, pulling at the fabric as it loosens around your shoulders, coming undone to reveal your back, his gentle fingers trailing along your spine as his soft lips traverse to your neck.

"I never meant to hurt you or make you doubt your place within my heart" he whispers as he tugs your dress completely off, letting it hit the floor with a soft thud before going to get your nightdress, slipping the soft fabric over your body before wrapping his strong arms around your middle, nuzzling his nose in the juncture of your neck and shoulder as he breathes in deeply.

"I swear, by the old gods and new that my heart belongs to you, all of it." Cregan turns you around to face him and it's only then he sees your tear-stained face, the way your bottom lip juts out at his loving words.

"I love you," he says as you push your face against his chest, letting all the built-up emotions go as they leave you in the form of tears. His big hand soothes the expanse of your back as he sways you in his arms ever so gently. He swears to never make you feel as you did tonight, ever again.

"I love you too" you whisper against the leather he is wearing. He cups your face within his hands, the warmth of his palms bleeding with affection as his thumb soothes against the apples of your cheeks.

"Come on my love, let's go to bed eh?" you nod as he tucks your hair behind your ears. You fall asleep wrapped up with him, a mess of limbs underneath the furs as he holds you gently and in the morning and every morning after that Cregan sings your praises, never letting you doubt your place beside him, ever.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

[leonw4nter]

been obsessed with ur fics relating to Taylor’s songs 🥺 can u do one with ‘sl/t’? Just a good ole fluffy fic.

My Cuddly Eldritch Boyfriend!

Eldritch Horror!RE2R!Leon x F!Reader

“Ah yes, my human female companion, I believe I am required to inform you of my whereabouts for today. Since we have run out of the minuscule jar of the chocolate-hazelnut spread you quite enjoy consuming with sliced bread, I had to leave our shared den and purchase some for you. It appears that I have underestimated the price of such delicacy for the bills I have pocketed fell short of a few more dollars,” your boyfriend Leon happily recounted as he showed you the large tub of sandwich spread that he bought earlier today. “Boyfriend”, rather, if he can be considered that.

Leon waltzed into your life quite interestingly, a little more differently than most boyfriends do in the lives of others who have them. You were trapped in an unhappy relationship, the kind where you had to beg to be shown affection and got scolded for buying yourself little goodies like a funny little pond jewelry dish. He was always on his gaming computer or out with his buddies for beer and snacks, yelling at you over the phone whenever you refused to lend him more money. You went home one evening, after a draining workday, to see your “boyfriend” quietly cleaning around the house and stopping to greet you good evening and ask you about your day. It’s quite the contrast to go from an “annoying clingy hoe” to “human female companion” but the latter is leagues better than the other words hurled at you. Leon isn’t even the name of your former boyfriend, wherever he is now; this replacement simply decided to name himself. You know you should be looking for your former partner, wherever he is, but you don’t want to. You’re more than happy with Leon and you wouldn’t want another undeserving girl to fall into the suffocating clutches of your ex.

“A lady has also offered me a small slice of processed meat– a sausage, it is called. Seasoned pork meat rolled into logs, a cut skewered into an infinitesimally slim stake referred to as ‘toothpick’. It is quite delectable, I must admit, but I haven’t any payment in my pockets so I had to politely decline her offer,” he continues recalling. You take out your phone and google a word: “infinitesimally”. This is another of the changes you noticed with your boyfriend: his lexicomane speech; you would never hear words the likes of ‘infinitesimally’ and ‘minuscule’ from him, intelligent phraseology is not in his vocabulary. A few days after the swap of boyfriends, you found yourself having to install a dictionary app on your phone in order to keep up with his sesquipedalian use of words and engage in conversation. You smile, finally spotting the definition of the word: extremely small.

“That’s great, Leon. We still have some sausage in the freezer, though, so I think it’s only right that you didn’t get some coz we might’ve ended up with far too much,” you respond as you set your phone down on the counter. “What brand was it though? I might pick that up for you next time around when I go for groceries.”

“Hm,” he hums in thought.

His human appearance appears to slightly glitch as he delves deeper into his recollections of the day earlier; he appears to have a chromatic aberration, multiple shadows of his head moving about and twitching around in smoky wisps, as several muffled voices of ancient chanting begin to grow a little bit more noticeable in volume. You grow worried yet you stay seated on your chair, carefully observing Leon before anything too out of control and mind-shattering occurs. Thankfully, he finally manages to remember before the voices get too overwhelming for your human mind.

“I believe it was called ‘MorningStar’,” he finally says. He falls silent, head tilting as his face grows expressionless. “Are you alright, girlfriend?”

He steps closer and sits in front of you, back straight and hands in his lap as he continues to observe you thoughtfully, the gears in his head turning to determine how to approach you.

“Oh, yes, Leon. Don’t worry, just zoned out a little. That’s all,” you respond with a forced smile that doesn’t convince him entirely.

“Have you finally observed that I have left the bathroom light bulb switched on during the entirety that I was out purchasing goods to consume?” he quietly asks, voice laced with guilt and shame as he looks at you with something akin to puppy-dog eyes; you didn’t know that eldritch horrors are capable of giving puppy-dog eyes. “I apologize with utmost remorse, my human female mate. In my haste to please you, I have overlooked a step in securing your household utilities.”

You wonder what is the connection between his previous concern for you and the most recent sentence he just uttered then it occurred to you that he wanted to delay admitting to  you that he forgot to switch off the lights; Leon must’ve also forgotten that humans don’t have the level of perception as whatever his kind has, or maybe he assumed that you and you alone possessed that ability. You never would have known if he didn’t bring it up to you. It is funny to see this eldritch being that was clearly trying to pass off as human, as if you had the power of the universe in your palm and could so easily kick him out into the streets, a look on his face now reminiscent of a kicked puppy. It appeared as if he shrank into his olive green sweater, hiding into the warm and dark depths that the piece of clothing offered. Now his ashamed aura was seeping into you, making you feel a slight tinge of what he’s feeling.

“Leon, it’s fine, okay? We’re still in one piece and nothing too bad happened. Besides, I have enough money to comfortably pay off utility expenses so there’s nothing much to worry about,” you reassure him with a gentle hand to his firm shoulder, feeling the spot unwind from the tension beneath your warm palm. “That happens to me too and I get frustrated sometimes but now I just laugh at it.”

He lights up again and that aura of despair fizzles away lickety-split. He beams again, a little too widely for what could be considered normal. He continues rambling on about sausages before asking you about your workday and leaning in to listen intently; you talk and talk, he sits and devotes all his attention to you and answers too, from time to time. He’s a lot more engaging and present when it comes to talking about yourself than your former boyfriend; all he’d talk about is himself and how you’re lucky he loves you, the occasional comparison to other girls. When you’re finally finished talking about your day, it’s Leon's turn to talk about his.

You don’t want to tell him that he’s not perfect on trying to pass off as another ordinary human being– he still tends to unhinge his jaw when he gets excited, his form glitches when he’s deep in thought, he refers to you as ‘human female mate’ or ‘human female companion’ or simply ‘girlfriend’ though in a manner free of offensive intentions, he likes to change the shades of his blue irises, and his verbose vocabulary. Other than the multiloquent manner that he converses in, no one seems to pick up on the irregularity of his physical form, not even when there’s faint shadows of his head fluctuating when he thinks; surely he’s travelling to universes beyond human comprehension just to figure out an answer to “what’d you think of the new Deadpool and Wolverine movie?”. You guess that he’s conjuring some form of illusion that mask slip-ups in his form but why this doesn’t apply to you, you’re not exactly sure but you don’t plan on telling him his lapses; you’re perfectly content with him cooling up your drink with his hand alone in a matter of seconds when you’re out together. He’s far from perfecting the image of a totally human boyfriend but you’re slightly positive that he’s the most perfect lover.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

“I would like to relish in the amusement of motion pictures with sound alongside you on our couch,” Leon expresses in mild emotion though he seems quite eager to watch movies, just phrased in a more archaic fashion.

“Me too” you respond with a small giggle at his unintentionally goofy personality. “Got a movie in mind?”

“Movie? Ah, yes. The moving images,” he recalls. “I have overheard this title from a young couple I happened to share a bus with, Kate and Leopold, they said. Appertaining to this hearsay statement, it must be a picture that thoroughly imprints itself on the heart and mind.”

“Kate and Leopold?” you say out loud and he nods. “Sure, why not. C’mon let’s head to the living room.”

“Of course,” he responds with an enthusiastic smile as he gets up from his dining room chair and quietly pushes it back before trailing behind you like the lovecraftian horror puppy that he is.

You put on the movie, both settling into a comfortable silence, attention centered on the film on your TV. In the middle of the film, you realize how you are quite near to him yet he does not make advances to touch you as he appears content with your shoulders touching. You sit up, inching closer to his side yet you don’t make this all simultaneous as you don’t want to shock him into discomfort. Much to your pleasant amazement, he not-so-subtly extends his arm behind your neck and rests it there. You look at his head and his face is still trained on Leopold chasing the snatcher, though the tips of his ears are dusted with a faint bloom of pink; who knew that cosmic beings could blush. Now slightly more confident, he slowly tries to urge you closer to the warmth of his side though he’s now hesitant with his actions. You snuggle closer to his side and now his hand is comfortably resting on the side of your arm where his silvery touch sends a flurry of tingles. Leopold and Kate are now sharing a kiss on a rooftop after a waltz to which your heart nearly goes into overdrive; Leon is not faring any better, visibly red-faced and overcome with butterflies that press up against his lungs (if he has any), making breathing feel a little funny. You wonder if he’s mentally replacing the characters with you and him and the image makes him feel madly excited.

“Leon, are you cold?” you ask towards the movie’s nearing end.

“No, but are you?” he counters, turning to face you now.

“Kinda.”

“Would you like me to fetch some for you?”

“No, no, it’s fine. I can get it myself–”

Something heavy and weighted and fuzzy envelopes you from the chest down, placed down by the man beside you.

“What’s this?” you ask in a slightly raised voice.

“A blanket,” he responds in a nonchalant manner.

“Why is it so heavy? I know weighted blankets exist but this one’s a little heavier than what I’m used to…”

“It’s bear fur.”

You fall silent, staring down at the brown fur mass laid above your body before staring back up at him, silently asking if this is his form of a prank. Unfortunately, he is serious about this.

“Um… Leon, I appreciate the blanket but I generally prefer faux fur to actual animal-sourced fur. It’s, you know, more wildlife friendly… yeah, um…”

You need not to say more when the blanket is still brown but is now clearly made of faux fur, having changed it right away without arguments or insults hurled at you. He seems satisfied with his service, adjusting the blanket to cover you up properly without obstructing your view of the movie. You offer to share the blanket but he objects, tomato-faced as he stutters his apology.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

The movie is finished and he smiles, remarking on how the couple was correct about their opinions and recounting some of the lines that stuck to him. He seemed to especially adore the portion where Kate is enchanted by the sight of Leopold on horseback, most excitedly analyzing the scene and going into detail about the look of love and the twinkle of Kate’s eyes before sighing dreamily.

“I wish to one day flawlessly emulate the depth of emotion she captured with only both her eyes, though I am well-aware that this is all expert acting. It would be my pleasure to one day look at you with such adoration as you tell me tales for there is nothing more that I desire than to enlighten you about the boundless worship that I present to you,” he wistfully conveys as he watches you walk around the bedroom before settling down to lay beside him.

You softly giggle, biting your lip as his voice bounces off in the walls of your mind and plays over and over again.

“Thank you. You’re doing a great job at that already honey,” you sincerely respond to him as you slip under the sheets and get snug.

“Your welcome,” he softly murmurs as a dopey smile points the corners of his lips skyward.

You ask if you can switch the bedside lamp off and he nods, the darkness of the room taking over as your eyes adjust to the lack of light. You lay still and silent before quietly wishing him a good night and restful sleep, to which he returns before he shifts and faces his back to you. Sometime in the middle of the night Leon awakens to the warmth and weight of your head and arms on his chest, the sight of you causing a human warmth to bloom where a human heart would be. You are peaceful and delicate, basking in the warmth that his form offered; the fact that you sought him out in your sleep made him feel loved, a feeling he didn’t know he’d grow to constantly crave. He pulls you closer and delicately wraps his arms around you in a protective embrace, a soft purr humming from his chest– an actual purr, like a cat’s. He strokes your hair with a silvery touch, daintily patting strands as he thinks about the fragility of his human and how he’d need to be very careful with them. His silky hands cause you to drift between the world of sleep and waking consciousness, growing more aware of his purr. You’re not new to his purring; he purrs when you two hold hands while running errands together, he purrs when you refer to him as your boyfriend to other people, he purrs when he finds out that you bought him a snack he likes. He has yet to discover that humans do not and cannot purr, that’s why you aren’t returning his physical display of contentedness but he’s satisfied that you’re letting him hold you like this. You don’t mind his purring at all and you’re firm on the decision that you love him and that he loves you back.

NOTE - First off, thank you to the anon who requested this!! I hope this one reached your expectations, even if I did put a little twist to it :)) guys... I think we're back!!! coz I decided to start on this last night at around 11:30 PM and I rlly had my creative juices flowing, like it just occured to me so clearly so now ig I'm going to start quite late into the evening if I'm going to start something new :D this fic is inspired by the eldritch horror boyfriend prompts that I came across on TikTok and also bc I felt like writing Leon rlly poetic and soft tonightt teehee :3 That's it and and I hope you really enjoyed this fic :)) Thank you for reading my works!!!!!!!!!! I <3333 UUUUUU!!!!!!!!!

The dainty chain dividers are made by @cafekitsune , the images are made by me (sourced from Pinterest).

[moodyvoid]

Imagine joining the LOV, and spinner seems like a really closed off guy. It seemed like the guy did his best to avoid you, honestly.☠️

Post war, you survive, and nobody knows cos u dont wanna serve jail time . Then you come across his book, there's a whole chapter written about you, and it's him ranting about his "extremely obvious" huge ass crush on u ☠️

Omg my heart… sigh… I’d have no choice but to go break my new boyfriend out of prison 🤷🏻‍♀️

Imagine Spinner’s sitting in his cell and he’s hearing all of this commotion outside and he knows something is going on. Alarms are blaring and there’s incoherent yelling from guards.

Then you kick down the door of his cell and walk in, “Hey, Spinner! It’s been a while.”

He thinks he must be dreaming at first as he realizes that all the commotion he’s been hearing is for him, much less being caused by you— who he thought was dead. “What the hell, you’re alive?”

You nod, “Yeah, I’ve kind of been laying low for a while… I read your book.”

He pauses for a moment, “Yeah?… What’d you think?”

You walk over to him, “It’s great. They’d all be proud. However… I am curious to see where the rest of our story goes.”

You hold out your hand to him and he takes it, immediately blushing like crazy and in an instant it’s like no time was lost and his huge crush on you is still in full effect.

[maplesyrupsainz]

Congrats on 1k angel! So proud of you and your incredible mind! May I please request a Charles Leclerc blurb with number 5 off the prompt list? My bashful, shy self would melt, especially with it being written by your hand.

pairing: charles leclerc x fem reader y/n (she/her)

genre: blurb

warnings: none

prompt: five [driver] trying to get you to go on a date with him

a/n: thank u so much omg this is the sweetest ask ever i hope this lives up to ur expectations 🥹🥹🫶🫶🫶🫶 it's kind of SO LONG hahahaha but it was fun to write tbh i couldn't stop 😛

my masterlist | 1k celebration

you knew nothing about formula one whatsoever. well, you knew it was fast cars driving around in circles. somehow your best friend had finally dragged you to a race after begging for what felt like forever.

so here you were, stood in the middle of the paddock alone, lost and extremely confused. your friend was dating a driver and had said they would both meet you at his garage, however you did not know where you were at all.

“lost?” you heard a male voice from behind you, startling you slightly. “oh, sorry. i didn't mean to scare you.”

“you're fine,” you brushed it off, “i actually am super lost.”

“yea, you're not keeping it much of a secret.” he chuckled softly, causing a slight blush of pink to rise onto your cheeks. “where are you trying to get to?”

“my best friend, i'm supposed to be meeting her at..” you paused softly as you unlocked your phone to check the garage name you had been texted earlier that morning. “alpine.”

“ah!” the man's eyes lit up with some sort of recognition. “you are kika’s friend. i will take you to her.”

“oh, it's really okay if you just send me in the right sort of direction. you don't need to go out of your way for me,” you smile at him softly, willing him to leave you alone with your eyes – you are much too shy to be spending too much time with a man, a very attractive one at that.

“oh don't worry, i couldn't leave a girl as pretty as you out here alone. follow me,” he wiggled his eyebrows at you before turning on his heel, with you following behind meekly.

“so,” the dreaded word left his lips; now you were going to have to converse with this gorgeous man. “how long have you known kika?”

“my whole life, we went to prom together and everything.” you smile to yourself at the memory, and he lets out a laugh that sounds like music to your ears. the mindless small talk seems to come somewhat easy to you with him, a first for sure. you almost feel disappointed when you see what is clearly the alpine garage ahead of you.

“ah, here we are.” he smiles at you, before suddenly offering his hand to you. “by the way, i'm charles.”

“y/n,” you say and nod softly at him, taking his outstretched hand to shake hesitantly.

“y/n,” he repeats, studying your face much too intently, causing the pink blush from earlier to return to your cheeks. “and what are you doing this evening, y/n?”

you shrug and mumble out a reply along the lines of claiming to be hanging out kika and her boyfriend, pierre. in reality, you have no plans at all but the way this stranger says your name sends your head spinning and butterflies filling your stomach.

“let me take you out.” he states abruptly, catching you off guard completely. you have never had a man as gorgeous as charles hit on you so blatantly before.

a small laugh escapes your lips as you begin to shake your head before speaking, “i'm not sure about that..” you see charles’ brow furrow slightly at your reply; a man so beautiful must be shocked by a rejection.

“y/n! charles! you guys met!” you almost sigh in relief as you hear the voice of your best friend behind you, and the feeling of her grabbing you into an embrace that you gladly return.

“kika, i'm so glad to see you,” you say, muffled into her hair as you hug. she lets go of you, holding you at arms length and studying you intently, making you laugh.

“you just get more and more beautiful every time i see you!” she exclaims in glee before turning to charles, “hi charles, i'm glad you got to meet my beautiful friend.”

“the pleasure is all mine,” he flashed a grin at you, causing the butterflies that lay dormant in your stomach to take flight again.

“anyway, i just wanted to say, y/n,” kika looked at you mischievously, “me and pierre have something on tonight. i wanted to check that you're okay keeping yourself entertained this evening?” you narrowed your eyes at her. you knew exactly what she was doing.

“actually,” you look up at the new voice in the conversation, to see pierre with his arm slung lazily over charles’ shoulders. “how about you and charles hang out, y/n? i think you'd get on.”

“what an amazing idea!” kika lets out a squeal, clapping her hands together.

“no, i–”

“i'll see you tonight then, y/n. 7?” charles winked at you, before turning on his heel and heading back to his own garage, you assumed. you groaned.

“guys...”

“oh y/n/n, you'll thank us later, i'm sure.” pierre, laughing at your obvious discomfort.

[leelesbo]

so this may be a bit of an odd request lol. im not personally into tickeling, but my partner is. i find it really attractive how into it he is, and am super willing to participate for him, but as hes into the lee and ler sides of it, sometimes when im taking the ler role, i sort of run out of ideas on what to say and do LOL. it doesnt come naturally to me like you all who actually Do have the fetish. i basically just picked your blog randomly cause we're the same age and you seem to have experience with it and i dont think he follows you already, but i was hoping you could offer some advice or ideas on good things to say and do that may not be obvious? i'd ask him but he gets so flustered over it that its basically impossible HDFJKGKDFHGL

this is the cutest sweetest ask omfg i would LOVE to help out. i love yapping about tickling you came to the right person (this turned out to be really long so it’s all under the cut LMFAO)

so for teasing, a lot of the times it really depends on Who you’re teasing!! for instance, im not personally a huge fan of the whole “coochie coochie coo” “tickle tickle tickle” thing bc its just Way too babyish and infantile for me, but ive found a lot of people in this community really like it and it flusters them a lot!!! if youre unsure, typical teases like that couldn’t hurt to try!

ok i said “tickle tickle tickle” didnt work on me but Actually in the right context that absolutely could work bc the simple act of Hearing The Word is insanely flustering. fr, if you just keep repeating how ticklish he is, asking if something tickles, maybe even figure out a way to force Him to say the word it should work. there’s smth about knismos where our brain overloads hearing that word and it’s even so hard to say, it’s extremely flustering being forced to say it!!

also, focusing on spots and Talking about how that particular spot is affecting them is killer. if you’re tickling his ribs and it’s making him giggle more than belly-laugh, point that out!!! “oh you really like the ribs, don’t you? you’re giggling so much you can’t even talk! try! go on, tell me how much it tickles!” for me and a lot of other knismos, tickling is a lot about feeling Analyzed. experiment with specific spots and see how differently it affects him. verbally take notes on the differences!

also, emphasize how much he’s enjoying it even if/when he’s Begging for you to stop or move spots. knismos love to pretend we hate it, it adds to the fun of the whole thing. but don’t ONLY emphasize that he’s enjoying it, also throw in how horrible it must be!! how he’s too ticklish to take it, how it must be so bad if he’s screaming for mercy.

(i literally keep thinking of new things to add this is going to be so long sorry)

AND AND AND!!! POINT OUT HOW FLUSTERED HE IS!! how red his face has gotten, how he keeps repeating the same thing over and over bc his brain is fuzzy and he can’t Speak Properly, maybe he can’t figure out what to do with his hands, or he keeps trying to hide his face! LET HIM KNOW U CAN SEE EVERY LITTLE REACTION!!! it’s about the attention to detail babyyyy

tickle teasing can also go beyond the actual Act of tickling. tease him when you aren’t even tickling him!! wiggle your fingers his way, throw the word in casual conversation (“what you said earlier really tickled me”), poke him when ur out in public!! little things :3

when you Are tickling him, make him tell you what spots tickle more. make him help you! maybe choose two spots at a time, tickle one spot and then the other, and make him tell you which was worse (this ofc will take Many trials and retests juuuust to be sure he was right the first time 😌). use different methods and make him choose which is worse! hands or teeth? feathers or raspberries? the list can go on and on and you’ll both be sure to have a lot of fun testing out the varieties of the game lol

okay so i could literally keep going FOREVER but ill stop here for now bc ive already written a fucking essay!!! if you want more i’d be elated to go again, my brain is constantly on Tickle Mode so im always happy to yap about it!!

anyway, hope this helped!! hope you guys have fun, im happy to be of service :3

[csuitebitches]

Book Review: Book 1: Stop People Pleasing (a 9-part series by Patrick King, “Be Confident and Fearless.”)

I’m reading a 9-part series by Patrick King, “Be Confident and Fearless.” His books talk about becoming assertive, saying no, not people pleasing anymore and being confident. Generally, such books are quite generic but I found his take on the subject interesting. His techniques to handle certain situations seem to be quite doable too. His techniques have been highlighted in bold.

Book One: “Stop People Pleasing”

A people-pleaser is worried about rejection. They have a need, as we all do, to be accepted and treasured—to be loved. But in people-pleasers, this need is amplified to the extent that they will bend over backward just to not lose that love or acceptance. This is more invalidating than giving an honest opinion.

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In reality, people-pleasers continued promises and inaction just tick their friends off, as it becomes apparent that they are willing to be dishonest and only say what people want to hear.

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They’re not really doing what they do to improve someone else’s life—they just want to feel more positive about themselves.

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Living under the limitations of our own viewpoint, we tend to think everyone in our circle is looking at and judging how we look and behave. At most, maybe a couple of people are paying attention to most of your moves, and they’re likely people you’re already close to who are supposed to know you better than anyone else.

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When you’re so consumed with the perceived needs of others, you’re not paying yourself any attention. You could be overlooking or ignoring things you need to do to take care of yourself.

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Avoiding confrontation for fear that it might only make things worse ironically results in the very outcomes it’s meant to deflect. The absence of confrontations doesn’t mean your relationship is all healthy, and the presence of confrontations doesn’t mean your relationship has gone to the dogs.

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The BLUE model is a specific CBT strategy developed by PracticeWise to help counter negative thinking. BLUE is an acronym that stands for the kind of extremely negative thoughts you should recognize in yourself when they do pop into your head. “B” stands for blaming myself, “L” is looking for bad news, “U” means unhappy guessing, and “E” represents exaggeratedly negative thoughts.

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What many people-pleasers fail to see is that sacrificing so much of themselves in pursuit of serving everyone else around them is sabotaging their very capacity to continue being there for others when it truly matters.

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Rejecting an invite is not the same as rejecting your friend and that prioritizing your own peace of mind by just settling into a restful weekend is totally okay.

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Ask yourself, “What are the things I do to be happy?” or “What are the core beliefs I have about my worth as a person?”

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Exposure therapy is the process of deliberately placing yourself in situations that cause you fear and anxiety. You’ll need to immerse yourself in your feared situations in a gradual and progressive manner, starting from situations that cause the least anxiety and later advancing to those that cause the most intense feelings of fear.

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Creating your fear hierarchy. The fear hierarchy is an ordered list of situations that elicit your fears and anxieties.

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The first habit we must develop is the habit of self-awareness. We don’t understand why we people-please, and we’re not aware when we’re doing it.

This begins with questioning the motives for your actions: “Why exactly am I going out of my way for this person?” “Do I genuinely care for them, or am I just afraid of what might happen without them?” “Would I be doing this out of free will, or am I doing it for someone else?”

Take note of the moment you’re starting to feel internal resistance. When that happens, stop everything and question why you’re doing it.

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The second habit to cultivate is the habit of personal autonomy. An autonomous person knows what they truly believe and why they believe it. But the differences that you’ve valued your own opinion over that of others. Or you’ve at least valued it equally and not by habit put your own opinion as inferior to that of others.

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That’s why it’s important to get into the habit of expressing yourself honestly. The more you communicate where you stand, the more people will know where you’re coming from (and what your limits are). After all, people can’t read minds, and to expect others to know what you want is an impossible task.

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Remain strong under pressure. When you stop people-pleasing, you will face some angry reactions. It’s not necessarily their fault because you have conditioned their expectations. But this is where you must not fold under pressure, like you previously would have. It only takes five seconds of extreme willpower, and it gets easier every time thereafter.

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How to set boundaries:

1. Determine your core values

2. Change yourself and only yourself. You dont control other people

3. Set consequences of someone else breaking your boundaries. Write down the boundaries you have, the actions others might take that trespass those boundaries, and exactly what you will do when they’ve violated your boundaries.

4. Communicate your boundaries to others in very exact terms. Make sure everybody’s very, very clear on what your limits are.

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If you tell yourself “I can’t,” you’re simply reminding yourself of the limitations you’ve set for yourself. You’re creating a feedback loop in your brain that tells you that you can’t do something that you would normally want to do.

When you tell yourself “I don’t,” you’re creating a feedback loop that reminds you of your power and control of the situation. You’ve given yourself a line in the sand that takes the situation out of your hands. Your choice was premade to say no and thus you can stick to it more easily.

[pumpkinsy0]

papercut cozy day in hcs? perhaps during winter because i <3 winter? maybe they were snowed in or smth (wait does tulsa even get snow?? if not they're on vacation surely!) purely based on cozy vibes. also their gangs are there too and have to witness their shenanigans because it would make me happy ! this either makes sense or i am just extremely tired and dont know what im saying

of course!!! i dont think it snows THAT much, but we’ll say it does just this winter bc of climate change or somethin

•now why was the entire shepard gang there??? they were riding somewhere but the snow got worse so they decided to head to the curtis’

•curly HATESSSS the winter, pretty much all the shepards do, they just hate snow especially cause it stops them from doin what they gotta do

•for THIS ASK i wont make pony hate winter either, but he does find it a lil annoying cause he always forgets to put something on to make him warmer but bc hes inside for this one hes actually in a good mood

•soda makes the best hot chocolate, hes just got the hands for it, and thats the ONLY time curly will ever be nice to him, he MUST get seconds☝🏽☝🏽

•the shepard gang r just wandering around messing w stuff and darry told the gang to be nice but my god are the guys really hoods they cannot be satisfied

•angela is used to being around a lot of guys, but THIS many acting so annoying??? yea shes locking herself in darrys room till its all over

•meanwhile pony and curly r just in ponys room, curlys fucking tired if being there (no offense to pony and his “lovely” posse), ponys distracting him w card games

•ppl check on them, but pony and curly both like going under the sheets and when u lift it up, they look like bugs when u lift the rock above them😭

•the curtis’ canonically had a pet dog so lets just,,,pretend they still have em, but pony and curly r keeping that dog in the room, thats their source of entertainment

•they play ball w the dog and sometimes the gangs hear thuds so they go i to the room and its a mess cause the dog god zoomies mid way😭

•curly has long enough limbs to reach out the window and grab some snow, and everyone found out the hard way bc they heard pony screech from how cold it was

also ur a w*nter enjoyer???,,,,get off my page,,,now,,, grrr

[sscarletvenus]

some lookism childhood headcanons 

i imagine hyungseok as one of those really cute kids that resemble marshmallows. he's just so soft and round and giggles when you pick him up and spin him around!!! his mom would take him to work with her and her coworkers would give him all sorts of snacks and pocket money. he's like a bouncing ball of pure sunshine.

johan as a kid would be extremely intrigued with religious imagery. he would often try to memorise the architecture of the church his mother takes him to, and then try to draw them when he's bored. 

i also imagine that johan's an amazing artist, and the god dog logo is his own design. when he was small, johan would always want to participate in art competitions, but art supplies are a luxury so he gives up on that desire pretty fast. he conveys the same to his mom, who praises him for being a sensible child as johan sniffles on her shoulder against a tattered cardigan that smells like home.

samuel was always too little for his age, and never managed to eat until he was full. either his mom would scream at him for being within her sight for too long, or he would lose his appetite seeing her face. 

he watches his mom's TV soaps from a corner and sees everyone being nice to the handsome and capable male lead, and starts believing that people only care for what they cannot have. so, he too, will become someone unattainable by everyone.

samuel is too angry for someone that scrawny, so the seniors always beat him to pulp. but, he never cries. instead, if the other boys would listen closely, they would hear him mutter under his breath, "i am gapryong kim…" (yes this is about kdj telling himself that he's yjh from orv)

jake as a kid is very easy to please. he's like a porcelain doll that you have to poke in order to get a reaction, but once he knows you, he clings and never lets go. 

teen jake is almost a carbon copy of young gapryong, but when he smiles, he looks exactly like his mom. but, years of living with his dad make his smiles dim in frequency, so the resemblance goes unnoticed. 

growing up, jake would probably hate mirrors as he is reminded of how much his appearance starts resembling his dad's, when he looks into one. his relationship with his mom grows strained because he doesn't want her to be in pain when she is inevitably reminded of gapryong when she looks at him, so he always tries to disappear from her sight, and eventually runs away from home, not knowing his future in a gang where, in order to be with those his loves, he must become inseparable from his dad's violence.

zack is a typical rich kid who always gets what he wants. he is very into superhero movies and comics, and is an idealist who takes inspiration from his favourite characters. he too wishes to save his friends and protect his love just like the figures wearing flowing capes on the screen, drawn on the pages of his books. 

vasco is also into action-comics and superheroes, but he is the one who wants to be “saved.” like he looks at his mom struggle financially and emotionally as a single-parent and wonders what a saviour would look like, when they would arrive. (i think one of the many reasons he becomes breakdak's student is because he feels he is accompanying an invincible force that can guide him in his path to save others, and thus, save himself.) 

vasco’s morality also stems from the absolute goodness of heroes, where he is a stickler for reform within the boundaries of pre-established rules and codes of moral conduct.

jace as a kid is a nightmare. u know they say that kids are blunt but jace takes it to a whole another level. you CANNOT lie to him, in front of him, about him because he WILL expose your lies. his analysis goes crazy and adults are a bit scared of him. santa? “i know it’s you, dad.” “H-HOW???” “i just know. also you left the house at 8 in the evening and returned with exactly 5000 won missing from your wallet. The price of chocolate-” “OKAY. OKAY. STOP. JESUS”

goo’s weird and off-putting vibes have accompanied him from the womb. he mutilated insects by plucking out their wings and trapping them under glasses before torturing them in “the fly : short story by katherine mansfield” style. there isn’t much to say except he probably committed arson before reaching the age of twelve.

gun is the gojo satoru of lookism like the balance in the yakuza was shifted after his birth. yes the power he inherits is a burden to him but he loves having the burden and being the sole one to possess it.

he feels no genuine emotions or connections to anyone at all, as if he and the world around him are separated by an impenetrable wall, the strong existing on the pinnacle of a lonely mountain towering over the weak. 

the only emotion that gets to him is the sense of pure ecstasy he feels during fights, the thrill of fighting just for the sake of it, the enjoyment of enacting violence unto his enemies bcz he knows he is at the top (on heaven and earth, i alone am the honoured one)

that’s it for now!!! hope that clears my brainrot amen.

[memeapple2]

Tails gets trolled rp starters part 1

yeah 😔 yes I'm leaving in the typos beacuse it's funnier that way :^) Fight me nerds!!

"Fuck you trolls!"

"They can't troll you if their dead!"

"I'm so mad, I'm gonna have sex with my girlfriend so I won't be so mad."

"Dumbass will learn."

"Mad? U Mad? U look mad U stupid bitch!"

"sorry *insert name* if this looks gay to the viewers."

"the art of trolling was actually started from humans but it wasn't called trolling it was called being a dick but back in the middle ages i was being made fun of because i wasn't human."

"im extremely hurt you would think im a douche. it might not look like it but i have feelings and you hurt them."

"hey can you put that on a coaster?"

"They have been getting trolled. you know how it is. there calling *insert name* gay and shit they cant take it."

"the way to stop a troll. is to become his friend .as his friend you can show him the right path!"

*-goes back to knitting-*

"come i will talk to these kids and stop this hate with kindness!"

"sometimes there is need to do whats needed, if it was up to me *insert name* would be dead and we would never have to worry"

"im not gay I have a girl friend and i would like it if this conflict to end in peace"

"you must not know who i am. i have alot of talent and i have lots of friends. one of my friends is right beside me . and for what your saying isn't true, so i am not afended by your hateful comments"

"ehhh...... im gonna ignore what you just said and ask you one more time. lets end this hate and become friends"

"why don't we just be friends this is stupid"

"ok im gonna take a random guess and say you guys failed with that peace crap"

"i fucking knew it"

"hello dickheads so your the trolls i heard about"

"hey do you see that? it looks like a group of pokemon.coming at us"

"for a em→→breaded donkey i can sure fuck your mom hard."

"there isn't. you remember what happen when you guys tried peace? you cant talk to them. there to oblivious"

"yea remind me next time to not kill such a fat person"

"high shovel!"

"ok i'm gonna go back to sleep now good night."

"banana"

"don't worry man I killed the fat one. its all cool man. i know all about the taste for blood"

"thank you for proving that peace isn't shit. when it comes to trolls. your a good friend"

" *insert name* Wake up! you fucked up big time!"

"People can't troll me beacuse I have no ears. They can't troll me if I can't hear them!"

"What? I don't have fucking ears!"

"If you don't mind I'd like to continue knitting this!"

"did you know with seat belts people die all the time in car crashes? I thought that was interesting!"

"have you ever been bitch slapped from lack of listening? Lack of doing what you're told? Beacuse I'm not that far from slapping you."

"which means I can be super powerful and kick everyone's ass..I'm gonna be awesomely badass!"

"trust me this plan will be better beacuse I'm gonna smoke my smart weed! I'm smarter when I'm high."

"Why are you filled with so much hatred and aggression? I'm finding it difficult to assume what you must have went through to mold you into the person standing in front of me now."

"Hey troll! FUCK YOU!!!"

"hmmmm this isn't as i thought it would be, killing people is really boring and all these annoying screams, i mean damn."

"Yeah that wasn't very good. I tried to do something similar to high shovel. Let's just forget about this."

"there is no need for any blood shed, this problem can be solved with out any villains"

"I do all kinds of stupid and gay shit."

"I’m starting to think that even if we pray our hearts out and know that we do wrong, that maybe there are things that god can’t fix and maybe, instead of putting our hope in god to fix all our problems we take action for our mistakes and learn from them."

"Sorry it took us so long to save you from TIME PRISON. So what did you do in TIME PRISON?"

"You gotta calm down bro, chill man, smoke a joint!"

"After 50 years I started to feel like I was losing my sanity so I started to break my fingers and I would just break my fingers and set them again. "

" I started breaking all my bones. I broke every bone in my hands. I broke my arms, separately, and then I started to break my own ribs. I broke my femurs, it took a while. And then I healed and broke them again."

"After 5000 years my bones were all scar tissue. They had all grown so solidly back together that I was unable to move. "

"And after another 5000 years of furious infinitesimal movement, I built up enough muscle mass to spontaneously break any bone in my body, and then I could move again. "

"My body had done so much healing that I healed almost instantly. That’s all I do now. Every time I move my body, my bones shatter and heal back in my next shape. If I take a single step, every bone in my legs splinters and then reforms. I don’t know what pain is because I have been alive for 10 million years."

"Okay but it looks like your walking normal."

"Well that's just stupid."

"oh sorry i forgot about this and took a nap and then took a shit. im so sorry i forgot but no worries man im here now"

"ahhhhh........................................................ yeah i dont know."

"hey your awful lonely. you must be a looser or something."

"this is the down side of having no ears, i can't hear if *insert name* is screaming for help or not, i mean i have no clue if hes screaming towards me back, so damn it having no ears kind of blows."

"hhahahahahahahahha i dont even know what the fuck you said?"

"i was trolled until i got bigger and stronger then them now i am feared"

".................... i have no importance to this story line what so ever, i think im gonna go."

"wow that story was super amazingly awesome, im not even joking right now"

"ahhhhhh so gay"

"we neutral's dont take sides in childish battles that normal people do. to pick sides is fullish."

"well most of the trolls are stupid but they all think there smart it's funny if you think about it."

"ummm. what object is like that? huh? ........ its unbreakable and its breakable? how is that possible? is it a liquid? hmmm i don't understand ?"

"now im gonna kick you right in your hairy ballsack"

"ok everyone! do you guys see this paper? well theres nothing on it yet but there will be"

"hey guys i was just telling him the plan. we are gonna do a all nighter and get fucked up hahaha its gonna be sweet."

"What? what are you talking about? We can discuss this further when there's not a gun in my face.."

"shut up, i got this alright, i got this shit in the bag, you'll see."

[mecachrome]

extremely 👀👀 about this kind/nice spectrum u brought up and how alex oscar lando and anyone else on the grid are placed on the grid..... would love to know more.........

hi there!!! :D omg yes i would love to talk more about this, though of course disclaimer that these are my Personal Interpretations and i love to spout nonsense on the internet LOL. i'll just expand on oscar + lando + alex some more since frankly i don't know all the other driver lore Like That and i don't want to overstep in my analysis! also i'm deathly afraid of chirlies. ok let's move on

to start off... i think the way we talk about celebrity personas obviously requires some generalization + projection since we can only extrapolate what is already being consciously disseminated, and so although i frequently talk about the kind/nice dichotomy or someone's capacity for sympathy vs. empathy (which is kind of a parallel assessment imo) we are of course all complex people who contain multitudes, and i think it's mostly just interesting to examine strictly in the context of racing & racing mentality... if that makes sense!

also wrt landoscar's personalities → one thing i feel very, VERY strongly about despite their differing surface-level interests and social profiles (read: different flavors of off-track sports, both of them being gamers but to diverging levels of visibility, lando's higher degrees of hyperfixation, etc.) is that at their baseline they are extremely similar people, and honestly even very similar drivers and racing "characters," which ultimately kind of colors most of my analysis. if we peel back the layers then oscar and lando are both functional introverts who've been very well-nurtured by similarly robust, persisting, and loyal support systems—oscar spending 99% of his time off-track with his longtime gf, lando's best mates all being from his karting days, their dads being equally objective about yet also supportive of their careers, jon having trained lando since he was like 5 feet tall, etc.—so to me the overarching difference is that they have diametric approaches to how they externalize their convictions, and then obviously since that's what we see/hear day in & day out it generates the existing rift between their media images. per lando on btg: 

"Oscar is extremely down to earth. A bit like me, just a very normal guy who's in Formula 1, just a guy that loves to drive cars and compete against people, and that's it."

(incoming egregious amounts of lando psychoanalysis...) despite oscar being the only driver i truly rep, i've always found lando's psyche soooo fascinating because he invites such extreme emotion in people (be it positive or negative), and i think part of it does go back to the idea of being nice vs. kind and ultimately the lens through which his intentions are interpreted by other people. in real-people fandom this is always interesting since it ends up becoming an unconscious exercise in how we perceive "sincerity" in others, even though the underlying paradoxical truth is obviously that any such assessment must always be dispersed and consolidated via a parasocial system (and thus everything is held relative to our own individual value systems... This is totally not the point of the ask. SORRY FOR THE MILLION TANGENTS) anyway as an extremely disillusioned sports fan i actually have a lot of time for lando despite how much visceral judgment he generates in quite a few people, which is totally fair since everyone is fully privy to feeling however they want to feel about any celebrity and i am not here to convince them otherwise lol. but that's just me!

i think to me the thing about lando is that there is almost zero pretense to his character, which some dislike because they find his bluntness off-putting, but imo just means his intentions are generally straightforward and easily digestible. sure, he lacks the spoken filter to not come off as occasionally callous, but at the end of the day i genuinely believe that he's an inherently thoughtful (and "kind") person, especially within the insular system of professional motorsport and the many mental pitfalls that accompany it. a symptom of this is how willing he is to resist more gracious media responses and how very inwardly critical he can be in specifically self-motivating ways, the latter of which sometimes gets misinterpreted due to the rigid yet overwhelmingly popular framework of what constitutes a competitive racing mentality. but like... to Me, lando is just entirely what you see is what you get, bad parts included, and he has zero intention of making excuses for that or pretending to be anything otherwise. which i enjoy!

and which again also goes back to the idea of niceness. (honestly the tl;dr for most of lando's pr scandals is just Oh okay so it's illegal to be neurodivergent now? but i'm trying to be normal so let me not just say that.) a good example is the entire debacle of saying he felt no sympathy for daniel at mclaren in 2022, because i think it elucidates a sort of kindness in objectivity that he very plainly participates in—to lando, being a top-performing athlete means never searching for excuses to soften the brunt of one's failures, himself included, and equally that there is no point playing sorry in front of journalists or trying to reshape their narrative scrutiny since at the highest level of competition any bold-faced externalization of "sympathy" is really just pity. and what point is there in telling someone else that you Feel Bad for their skill issue/struggles when the moment you extend that sentiment you essentially debase their position as a direct competitor and therefore disrespect them even more?

"I want to be the best in the world, I want to prove myself to people. But I've never had the mentality or the confidence to say that or feel like I need to do anything more than normal to show it to people. Do I have to do anything to go over the top and show that to prove it? I don't think so. People say you've got to be brutal and you've got to have this certain mentality. But I just don't think it's true at all. I think you’ve just got to get in the car and do the best you can."

i think the Separation of Church (treating everyone exactly as they are on-track, just another car to size up or keep at bay) and State (being friendly, supportive, and altogether well-regarded by other drivers off-track) is a primary tenet of lando's personality, and it's something he achieves by valuing kindness over niceness. you know the lando/maxf quadrant interview where lando is like: i'm not friends with you because of your achievements in life... i just care about your personality! and he's mainly saying it to take the piss out of him but he also 100% does mean that shit. that's the crasyinsane part about lando to me... god i'm so sorry i need to not go on for a million years but PERSONALLY, i think lando is very much the type of person who can go through an experience, or otherwise see someone close to him go through an experience, and approach it very empathetically to the point he continues carrying on this internal conviction about it even when he's survived or grown past it. like even as someone who mostly believes in Death to Relatable Marketing, i find it really interesting when lando talks about mental health in sports because we get to see both a) the fact that he's grown so much in his own mental resilience from his rookie self in 2019 to who he is now, but also b) that he continues to believe strongly in rejecting the presumed archetype of a successful formula 1 driver, and is steadfast in surfacing that even though... honestly? lando nowadays is a very consistent, well-rounded, and efficient talent who frankly doesn't experience nearly as much of the unproductive mentally-spiraling self-criticism that used to impact his performances to a far more pronounced degree when he was younger and rough around the edges. yet he still feels compelled to affirm that there is No One way to be an athlete (which is significant because "mentality" is such a harped-on concept in all sports, and everyone is always trying unfailingly to extrapolate performance-related projections via vague and completely subjective intangibles to a notably unempirical degree!!) because he does care, deeply, about how people enter and succeed in motorsport. honestly i always feel kind of iffy bringing up commentary re: Women In Motorsport because it often sounds unnecessarily adulatory, but at least in recent times i think he's also shown a decent amount of grace when talking about female fans, girls in karting, that one time he was like Bruh who are you? @ that misogynistic reporter, which...... i'm not going to say majorly influences my opinion of him, but imo being willing to quickly shut someone down like that is an anti-niceness to a productive end that i appreciate, since i think many personalities would kind of just smile bemusedly and try to quickly move on in the conversation.

tl;dr lando thinks feeling bad for people is useless and will never give you that one tidy sympathetic soundbite, but he does care for people vividly, especially off-track, which to him is the only place kindness really matters anyway. when you look at maxf (and i know this is mainly a portrait of codependency unique to their friendship but i do think it reflects his love languages in general) whose career cratered because he mentally couldn't handle the pressure, lando's response was literally to unfailingly engage in failcore househusband chores for him like leaving handwritten notes in his 3rd grade girl handwriting and ironing his clothes on stream........ which... i could go on forever but again. separation of church and state!!!

anyway with oscar on the other hand, i honestly think most things in his life kind of just exist as a function of motorsport LOL. and that he likes surrounding himself with people of similar interests/intellectual level/skillsets, down to his partner studying engineering and wanting to work in the same industry as him....... again, i think 814's baseline characters are Very similar and that they're both great team players with complementary professional approaches, so this is not a knock on either of their personalities, but imo lando is just generally more outwardly sentimental and has also had to do a lot of conscious growing up in the past ~4 years to become more well-rounded wrt off-track interests, whereas oscar basically came onto the grid as this already fully-realized product with far fewer dependencies who is just nonchalantly like, I see my family 3 weeks a year and my sisters just think i'm their lame older brother and don't care about my career at all, but i'm fine with that and i'd make all the same sacrifices i've made over and over again to get where i am!!! also re: oscar's abject lack of interest in engaging with fans one-on-one, an easy example is how lando genuinely values/treasures the friendship bracelets he gets and wears them consistently whereas oscar is just like. Erm. i respect it but that is not for me ✋😭 he's nice about fan things because he understands how much fan support and consumerist interest enable the circus that is formula 1 but he doesn't really value any of it much past the surface-level pleasantries......

why is this answer so long............... idk if you want to hear anything more about alex but i think he's very similar to oscar in terms of this measured external niceness/quiet ruthlessness, especially wrt how they weather team politics, interact with media (noted red bull marketing hater alex albon), and tend to simply Do The Thing To Do The Thing. alex is especially interesting because if you watch his high performance pod it reveals sooooo much of his growth over the years and his current mental framework ("i was having to be selfless, and it didn't really agree with me that much") and frankly even just the way he speaks about himself is fascinating to me but i digress!!! i do think much of lando's tactless impulse yet also apparent kindness comes from his considerably privileged background and the fact that he was shown a lot of Realistic But Also Unconditional Support and thus never had his career actively threatened growing up. so even though he's had to learn to not mentally catastrophize at the f1 level, he didn't undergo the reckoning alex did with his mother/losing rb's team backing/etc., which alex mentions in this podcast as specifically triggering his insatiable desperation to prove himself.......... and so on. alex and oscar to me are both quite similar in how they let more combative thoughts simmer and are very well-trained in responding palatably to the media, but they're also going to resist relating themselves too much to other people's struggles because That Is Not Their Problem, and at the end of the day oscar is uh.... sure he has a lot of appreciation for mclaren and has called prema a family before, but he really only wants to win for himself and is less inclined than lando is to romanticize the spirit of the Team. and so when he says things like "for me, there’s just not any point, especially in self-deprecation, destroying yourself in front of the media," it's a Niceness because his assessments are always entirely self-absorbed in the most productive of senses, as in he truly only cares about what he himself is doing and is never going to waste time worrying about or comparing himself to his competitors' mental approaches!

does any of this make sense. please excuse the monstrous rambling 😭 but also please feel free to follow up with your own takes/lore about any driver if you'd like to, or to tell me that i'm absolutely wrong if you'd like, because i always love to hear about these things!!! :3c

[tiffanyeatsyou]

FORGOTTEN.

husband!nanami x wife!reader wc:1.3K contains: angst w/ nanami, afab!reader (she/her prns used), bit of fluff @ the end, slight mentions of drinking a/n: this is my first fic so im sorry if its a bit... ass...... ya... LOL ermmm hope u enjoy <3

nanamii<3:

8:30. drinks, snacks, movie. You + me?

y/n:

is that even a question?? ofc baby :)

y/n:

dont be late, ill be waitinggggg

nanamii<3:

I wont be, I promise.

i set two glasses down on the coffee table, with the best wine set alongside them, a bowl of popcorn, and some candies i went and got earlier. everything looks perfect. oh- and lets not forget, our favorite movie, La La Land. he should be here any second now so i sit, waiting patiently, trying to contain my excitement.

8:45, phew, trafic must be bad. ill just shoot him a little text

y/n:

“hey sweetie, everything alright? miss u!!! got our movie ready for us!!!”

9:00, a sinking feeling settled in. maybe he's just running late, I thought, trying to hold on to hope.

the minutes dragged on, 9:30. 10:00

10:50.

i’m tired. i walk up to our room with trembling legs and my- already bad vision- is clouded teary, blurry eyes. half from the wine i’ve guzzled down, the other half from crying.

he promised. promised. he said he wouldn't be late and here i am, left with dissapointment. i crawl into my side of the bed sobbing, until sleep, finally overcomes me.

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meanwhile, nanami is rushing and rushing to get out and into his car, speeding to his wonderful wife.

"shit. shit shit shit" he mumbles looking at his watch which reads 11:30. "i got carried away with my work god she’s gonna be so disappointed. i promised i’d be home early today for our long-awaited date. drinks, extremely unhealthy snacks,but most importantly, her: the perfect time."

i race to the door and quickly unlock it. “sweetheart?” i call out. i walk in to see a wine glass spilled on our coffee table, her phone, and a black tv screen.

fuck.

shes been drinking.

i run my fingers through my hair, guilt just running through my veins. i loosen my tie and walk up to our shared bedroom, finding my beautiful wife curled up into our blankets.

“sweetheart, i am so so sorry-“

i pause as i notice the pillow stained with tears and her beautiful face, looking like she’s been crying. which makes me wanna cry. i look over at our clock. 3 hours. i hate to wake her but i need to see my baby.

“baby..?” i gently shake her awake and i hear her voice. breaking. i wrap my arms around her body.

“‘min..?” she says with sleep coating her words.

“yes sweetheart it’s me. look, i’m so sorry i just got caught up with-“

“just *hic* save it. don’t ’wanna hear it anymore nanami.”

she uses my full name.

“ baby please please i’m so so s-“

“‘said stop it. hic ‘don’t love me *hic* ‘don’t care about me. just get off me and *hic* stop.”

my heart drops. don’t care about her? how could she ever think something like that?

“ love you know i care about you okay? you’re just a bit tipsy and-“

“‘s always my fault isn’t it? *hic* how could i know you care when *hic* all you do is work work work.”

“don’t wanna be your *hic* wife anymore.”

what?

she doesn't.. what?

“stop it, don’t you dare say that” i respond with not only a breaking voice; but a breaking heart. she doesn’t mean it she’s just- tired. right? i mean, how could she?

right?

“tell me you don’t mean that doll, tell me now. baby please. please.” i say while peppering wet kisses on her damp cheeks. my voice is breaking and you could hear me on the verge of tears.

she doesn’t respond. why isn’t she talking. does she mean it? this is all my fault. i’ve been prioritizing work while my real priority has been slipping away from me?

i look over and she’s asleep. her beautiful eyes are closed and she’s breathing softly. i quickly get undressed and slide into bed with her.

there’s no way i can leave my baby alone in bed.

i wrap my arms around her, only for her to turn her back towards me and out of my touch.

she was awake.

tears threaten to fall from my eyes as i kiss her “i love you. so much baby.” and with that, i grab my stuff and walk out.

she’d probably want me on the couch anyways.

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fuck. my head is pounding and i feel like absolute shit. i sit up holding my head reaching my hand out to his side of the bed.

oh.

he isn't here.

whatever. didn't want him here anyways.

i think.

i step into our large bathroom and start a shower and as i’m rinsing the disappointment off my body, i almost miss the soft opening and shutting of a door.

was that in here? is that him?

he hasn’t said anything yet so neither will i. i turn the shower off and wrap myself with a towel and yank open the curtain shocked seeing him sitting on the toilet. waiting for me. i lock eyes with him.

mistake number 1.

he looks like shit.

eyes swollen and heavy with guilt, slight, no- very obvious red flush across his face, and tear-stained cheeks.

“baby please” is all he says when he rushes infront of me, blocking the exit.

ignoring his presence seems to be impossible.

“what do you want nanami” i say coldly, my gaze not daring to meet his.

“i am so sorry beautiful. i am so. sorry. there’s no excuse and no other way to express how sorry i am." he starts. "sorry can’t and won’t cut it. i love you and i do care about you. just so much. i’m so happy you’re in my life and i never regret marrying you, i only regret the mistakes i’ve made." he stops and takes a small breath. "you should be my number one priority. i’ve been terrible to you. i will do anything and everything for you.” he says desperately and tears streaming down his face. he’s crying. he’s sobbing actually trying to apologize. i finally look up at him with water-filled eyes.

before i can say anything, he pulls me in tight and is breaking down. “i-i’m so sorry sweetie i’m so so sorry-“ he can’t barely speak without sniffles. i’ve never seen him like this before. i wrap my arms around him and when i do he releases a sigh of relief.

“oh thank god” he says quickly before pulling me in even closer.

“did you mean it?” he asks, his voice quivering. “w-what you said las- night”

i take a second to think before answering. what’d i-

oh.

my heart drops.

“plea-please tell me you didn’t. r-right? you didn’t ’mean it?”

i look up at him, his lips are trembling and his face is red.

“no, i didn’t. i shouldn’t have said that. i’m sorry ‘min.”

“o-okay because if you did i- i wouldn’t know what to- to do. i’m sorry you can get changed n-now ill be waiting for you in the living room, okay love?”

“okay.” i whisper as i watch him turn around and shut the door.

i finally finish my post-shower duties and walk out of the bathroom.

is that.. apple pie im smelling or am i going crazy?

i must’ve taken forever because by the time i get out there, he’s knocked out. but he’s knocked out on a cute blanket laid across the floor with a box of my favorite donuts, a bottle of orange juice with 2 glasses, and-

an apple pie cinnamon candle buring away.

he set this all up as i was sleeping?

as if on cue, he slowly opens his eyes staring at me staring at him and the cutest set up ever.

i sniffle “did all this for- me?”

he stands up and softly grabs my hand to come sit with him, “of course doll. look”- he says grabbing the TV remote

“we can even watch our favorite movie.”

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Now hold on a gosh-diddly-darn minute, I noticed the entire time talking about a tipsy Peppino no one thought to ask this but what about tipsy GUS? I mean we saw him a li'l tipsy in the fastfood saloon escape, can I hear your thoughts about that/him please? Have they ever gotten tipsy together?

(I just like the mental image of the two alone, just being real giggly with each other (Gus just says "hey" and Peppi starts giggling which sets Gus off giggling) and being sappy goofs with each other <3)

HEEHEE u are so right and i am so sorry for withholding this information from the masses 😭

My homebrew for gnomes is that they are simultaneously hardy folk (able to eat virtually anything and immune to most poisonous creatures) AND extremely intolerant of alcohol. Theres no reason for that, i just like it alot :)

So Gus would be an extreme lightweight 😭 its SO bad; he cant speak clearly at all, he cant walk straight, he has the Worst hangovers and he wont remember anything from the previous night. The line between ‘pleasantly buzzed’ and ‘blackout drunk’ is so thin that Gus doesnt even try social drinking. If he MUST drink, it will be in the comfort of his own barebones apartment 😭 at least, until Peppino started hanging out with vigilante and his crew.

Gustavo LIKES drinking! Its just hard to find a good balance, and THATS bc he simply doesnt know how alcohol works. Peppino is like:

“Look ‘ere. All of these have a number somewhere on the bottle. Or a percentage. Lower the number, the better it is for you.”

Gustavo is like !!! Oh!!! That is very helpful! What would you recommend for me then?

“Probably…2-5%. 5-10 proof. Small 'a numbers.”

Gustavo nods, interested. He points at a bottle he recognizes from the last time he came here and got shitfaced. “That one up there; do you know how ‘a strong that one is? Or should i ask the bartender?”

Peppino squints at the company label. “45%.”

“Oh!” That makes sense. “Well what do you usually drink?”

“70%.”

“Oh!”

Peppino recommends some of the LIGHT light wines, the ones that barely have a hint of anything. Theyre sweet (which Gustavo loves so very very much) and for the first time in a very long time, he Stays buzzed instead of immediately faceplanting into being blackout drunk.

Hes very. Playful. Is what Peppino would describe a tipsy Gustavo. He hesitates to use the term ‘flirty’ because that is not whats happening. But hes like. Clearly entertaining some gruff looking men like five times his size as they ramble drunkenly about random shit like ‘waow….thasso cool…and then what happened???’

Its funny at first bc Gustavo is so fucking TINY that all you can see of him, in the group of men as they yapyapyap about some inane shit that Gustavo wont even remember, is his tiny little tail 😭 It is less funny, however, when Peppino catches himself rambling about work and Gustavo is like (ears perked; tail swaying) ‘mmhmm. wrow…thats ‘a kinda nice…what else did you do??’ Peppino is like *buffering* (‘something is happening right now that will need to be addressed at a later time. Do not forget DO NOT FORGET. URGENT!!!!’)

Otherwise Gustavo is just a silly guy. Vigilante will make a joke and he laughs so low and deep that he sounds downright villainous 😭 Peppino will point out something stupid on the TV and like hours later Gus is like ‘…heeeuehuuueee…..do u remember [insert stupid reference] and Peppino will giggle. Peppinos affinity for throwing around ilus are met with Gustavo going ‘😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊’ with absolutely no way to even pretend to mask it.

Gustavo has fun being out in the saloon but he really enjoys drinking in Peppinos house. Its not nearly as loud as the saloon and theres usually homecooked foods like breads and soups (Because Peppino stress-cooks ALL the time). Brick gets to stay indoors instead of waiting outside the saloon, so Gustavo gets to mess with his soft fur contentedly. He just gets to be cozy; its quite nice 😊

[kenmaiii]

MOOVEEE IM CURIOUS!! please do tell why you think each of the boys would flop in dating I'd love to hear an indepth! like as a huge levi fan I'm extremely patient with him as is because same hat with stuff he goes and struggles through but just know I have to put my foot down because he'll eventually be too much and won't accept we definitely got some unhealthy dynamic going on down the line

YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE ANON. kind of a coin toss here tho cuz I think every character in any property should have flaws to some degree! Even if they are a 'perfect' character bcuz no one can actually be entirely 'perfect', but its like. a double edged sword with OM cuz thats either admitting that the writers kind of did their thing for once OR is it just that they completely fumbled in approaching these flaws properly

and reminder this is not me saying they wouldnt have ANY good dateable qualities at all, just pointing out why you'd look at one of them and think Hm. This Is Kinda. Not As Fun As I Wouldve Thought.

BUT YEA. WHY I THINK CHARACTERS WOULD FLOP AT DATING U

LUCIFER: oh boy where do i start. I dont know about the rest of you but I fear that this old man is way TOO strict and domineering most of the time. (not always.................. of course. he has a silly side for sure but good lord...) 😒 like I am nawt trying to date a prison warden can you ease up off me a bit sir... I know the game has taken more care to editing his dialogue in a respectful way but my gawd does this guy demand things from you so much. Like VERY demanding in not tolerating certain things from you, literally it's his way or the highway and you have GOT to do it right too or else. he's like that with everyone sure but with the MC? dating? yeesh! I think if you are the type that doesn't like being told what to do or being talked over you'd get annoyed with him very quickly.

Like the writers unfortunately nailed having someone be so prideful to such blazing smoldering degrees that it ended up overshadowing a lot of his good parts. Getting him to admit things/wrongdoings is so very hard. He's VERY emotionally constipated as hell on top of that. I know he can actually set aside the time to say things to you while being genuine. occasionally. rarely. but he's way more likely to mainly ONLY be open while DRUNK. and while i think its kind of cute as a trait somewhat, are YOU willing to wait for him to be extremely real mainly when he's too drunk to possibly remember every time.

Speaking of getting drunk though he's also like- ridiculously horny a lot which?F?DSf is a bonus if you like that but it can come across as him being overly pushy in many many cases. but once again i can acknowledge the writers/translators have been better at adding in clear consent to choices. 👍🏿 Another thing is that you'd have to deal with him always being busy and overworking himself. and constantly. And as someone that also has very questionable sleeping/eating/overworking habits you are going to have a very hard time getting through to him about this bcuz he puts way too much responsibility on himself AND he has a tendency to forget that he hasnt slept/eaten. It would be a very nasty combo if youre ALSO like that (even if he would scold you for doing the same and take care of you)

Also he cares about them sure but he's most definitely always gonna be complaining about his brothers and Diavolo to you constantly. Are you ready to sit through that. More than usual that is.

Speaking of the brothers being a package deal they will most definitely interrupt any peace and quiet you and the eldest both rarely get, like the mood will just nawt be right im sorry.

Oh and if youre not a dog person I cannot imagine how you are even going to tackle time with him and a giant three-headed demon dog bcuz that would also have to be your baby by default. Walks must be absolutely something! Like I love dogs but really think about it. An actual life-sized Clifford. But a demon dog. I do not have the strength to deal with regularly sized dogs even

MAMMON: he was one of the slightly higher ones on that 'worst to date' poll (nowhere near Luci or Belphie ofc), but it was only people listing about money problems or going 'Ha. imagine sharing a bank account with that guy. it'd be drained so fast'. And yea sure I hear that. u-u All that guy really needs is someone to properly manage and limit his funds and advise him really (but I mentioned before that Mammon shouldnt just be limited to money or material valuable like the writers always do. His fatal flaw is his greed! and greed can encompass many things not just material (There's power, love, friendships, food etc).

His flop when dating you, I would think is being too overprotective and possessive of your time. As much as I love him he DOES overstep quite a bit with the 'being your first'. Sometimes he simply does not consider YOUR feelings on situations and schemes first. Though that's a flaw of most of the people in the devildom have by law of the Main Character Curse™. You must be put into situations I get that -w- But like I said yea he really does have a really big problem with possessiveness and always wanting your time and attention. Which- could get tiring if you're not in the frame of mind to deal with clinginess or possessiveness! Because I totally get that it's a lot for some people.

Harking back to the money thing though I genuinely dont think it'd actually be a SUPER DUPER MAJOR problem with your relationship? He's shown to be quite considerate on that aspect when it really comes down to it. Like he HAS worked a couple extra shifts at a job in canon just to save up and buy gifts before. And he's literally a highly sought after model! And surprisingly good at math when he has the opportunity (though it def still has to relate to him positively $$$) so he could stack his dough pretty normally. He just needs someone to keep an eye on his funds + other sources to balance out his Greed more! 😅

Somehow he manages to be both capable and completely hopeless also which is very impressive! You would have to help him out with a lot of things since he IS used to being spoiled, in a way. He does get treated very poorly by a lot of the characters BUT he clearly still has very lavish tastes and was both a very high-ranking angel AND demon so combined with greed he's used to the good stuff (thus me thinking he's fairly spoiled still- so he will expect a lot of you lowkey) Also I know I said he's well capable of finding his own source of income but he IS canonically bad at saving... and added with the thing above ^ well... If you've watched Abbott Elementary at all he WILL be the Tariq to your Janine, sorry!

TBH.. I cant really think of any other flaws atm besides over-asserting himself to your time and attention

LEVI: grabbing you by the shoulders- THATS IT THATS EXACTLY WHY ANON!!!! his flopping is mainly coming from the fact that he always puts himself down so very much!!! his head is literally his biggest enemy! its natural for people to have insecurities or doubts about things. and that can be especially heightened in relationships; whether platonic or romantic! but oh mein gottness does that guy put himself down so much.

I also struggle with the same things (believe it or not Levi was my wife for a good while like he used to make me teehee giggle like crazy so i get it i relate heavily). But at some point you ARE going to feel a bit drained or tired constantly hearing negative things about someone you care about and love! Supporting and providing reassurance or denying the negative stuff is a given, and can go on for as long as time would permit! But at some point you have got to start believing in yourself a little more and serve cuntress or something, Levi!

If levi was able to work on believing himself more and being more confident (which he has shown himself to do in quite a few cases) I think it can flop a little less!

His gaming time might cut quite a bit into your romantic time as well, especially if youre not the type thats super into gaming. Also considering that this is definitely his first real relationship (compared to the others) and not an ingame one I feel like there would need to be a serious chat at some point over ideals and expectations that he's picked up in game. Or how things possibly work irl. I must be honest, while it is cute for him to get so excited or irl achievements and progress with you he does unintentionally compare that to his gaming experiences quite a bit (even out loud in front of you). Not babying him or shaming him but it's still nice to talk about the things you expect or want relationship-wise and I know he'd be out of his depth with that.

his only other flaw (to some, not me 🤔) might be his avid infodumping and explaining of shows/anime/games/manga IF you arent interested in hearing about that a lot. What else do you guys have in common that you can relate with I suppose? A very minor thing though as I think many of us like a little infodumping nerd as long as they arent being pretentious about it! ^_^

<- she is not going into detail on Rurichan since there's too much debating on if its weird or simply his special interest/comfort character. them artists (especially in the anime) really keep trying to set him up tho..

SATAN: oooh boy. I recognize that Satan's character (ignoring Nightbringer) is for the most part stuck in a limbo of constantly having ties to Luci and his insecurities around that. Not necessarily a flop since I do believe that he would confide in you about it a fair amount buttttt he definitely loses points for constantly bringing up Lucifer. -100 EXP

People are always making him out to be extremely angry at the drop of a pin, which yea does get angry about things, but also he? don't be getting angry all that often? especially when he gets his little annual pockets of character development? angry and annoyed occasionally sure but its not his ONLY trait. now if he's raging 24/7 and could barely have a convo with anyone that'd be red flag dating flop city! but since he is not we can slide him further down the least to being less of a dating flop with you. (we're ignoring the NB version of him btw)

Now an actual flaw I can actually point out is he's also quite selfish... but he can surprisingly own up to it most of the time. sorta. kinda. well-

and to a degree he definitely seems to be lacking in awareness in certain social aspects. He's just a silly guy on the spectrum like most of his brothers tho: he gets a pass. Plus he's a socialite he's got a lot of fun connections, what does it matter that he can meow on command in the middle of this fancy dinner. Sure the other guests are looking at us weird and he's a little bit of a freak but he can meow-

His biggest flaw is being funny actually. That pisses me off stop making me laugh ✋🏿🙄 and if you hate him making cat puns i suppaws that would get under your skin too

ASMO: Asmo's insecurities are gonna get the better of him every now n again also, so while he's not quite in the same self-deprecating league as Levi, he definitely needs a lot of reassurance and compliments to stay grounded. So if that's not something you can keep up with it could prove to be a lot considering he's so obsessed with himself. Just like Mammon he has a lot of possessive tendencies, but it comes out in interesting ways unlike Mammon's ig. He's covertly silly with it since he'd say it with a cute smile on his face. He's a little insane also. I think it's just cuz the version of Asmo I have in my head is drenched in blood I hope you understand. Something isn't right up there (affectionate) so you would also have to get used to the most insane things being said with a smile. Not a flaw to most people of course but to ppl that are normal... well... it would be a lot

But Imagine youre dating him, you walk into his room and you see him quietly mumbling to himself in a ring of mirrors to cheer himself up. I'd be like hey um. Do we need to talk about this.

And to finish it off he does have a quite a bit of selfish moments considering he loves to put himself first (common theme with the ppl in the devildom hm...) and a lot of times where he gets unreasonably angry! But to be fair I love selfish angry characters IF they fit the right boxes, so I cheer whenever he gets like that bcuz I love studying him 🔍. Dealing with it in real life tho well... hm. who's to say how one would handle that! He's still my little sweetie tho and he would eat up the romancing and wining & dining and know HOW you need to be loved, there's just the other things to deal with when it comes to dating him!

BEEL: he's on the LEAST likely to flop while dating you scale honestly cuz he's literally just a chill sweet guy when he's trying his best. I think his only problem would be in not understanding you sometimes. Im sure he listens but will he really GET everything. Bcuz there are a few moments in game where Beel seems to be a lot more internally insightful even if he's not as vocal about his thoughts. And he's clearly very considerate abt the people he cares about, but ultimately there's a lot he just wouldn't get unless you sit down and clearly explain it to him. Bcuz otherwise it could come off as him not caring or being indifferent since he's pretty nonchalant. Blunt at times but still, easy-going and fairly perceptive.

And he's very much also a guy that just charges into things, though it's kind of a give-or-take thing. He is equally the guy that worries and stresses about something in silence if it's serious enough or he does not dwell on something for too long at all- which! could possibly be something that annoys you as once again, it could come off as him seeming too nonchalant or unintentionally dismissive. Or well. the things he charges into might have to be something you talk him out of. You're gonna hear shit like this on the regular and he's gonna wonder why youre staring at him funny

Another flaw is his sin i supposeeeeee but i'd rather not just dumb him down to guy who eats a lot cant stop eating food food food yknow -w- but well yknow. just how much WOULD his sin get in the way of things, bcuz it seems to consume him in a way thats wayyyy more intense than any of the other brothers sins interestingly enough

You'd have to deal with Belphie by extension too since they LOVE having the twins as a set that simply cannot be separated...... That also means having to always be dealing with Beel babying Belphie even though that man is very well GROWN. -100 EXP

he's crazy for saying this kinda thing all casual like also. do that in private man ☝🏿

Belphie: Sorry I have to bring it up again even tho i know ppl are dead tired of hearing about but i STILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL think there shouldve been an actual proper talk and the appropriate amount of time given abt the killing instead of them moving right past it and MC being like 'it was just a lil oopsie we all have our bad days teehee ^-^'. if i got into a relationship with someone that tried and SUCCEEDED in killing me in this little magicverse i'd be like um. can we idk. talk about this in depth. You're not gonna kill me again in the future somehow right. Right?

Also I see and understand people saying that quality time, words of affirmation and acts of service are very clearly things Belphie likes since he's constantly asking to be around you/hear our opinions on things and ask if you need help with things (even tho he can be kinda lousy at helping out honestly -_-) but he also has a problem with demanding things of the player.. not quite in the same way as Lucifer, but it's close. Like if I do not want you to head over to my room to sleep together (literal sleeping) then why are you inviting yourself over? 🗣️📣📣📣📣LISTEN TO MEEEEEEE & STAY IN YA ROOM❗ ❗ ❗❗

He's a spoiled brat also! Like actual brat! Youngest syndrome is so very real with him, so if you're alright with being the main. well. person that has to do nearly everything then good'onya. I cannot imagine getting this dude dressed AND lugging this dude to classes all bcuz he wants to sleep in a little more ☝🏿 GET UP but if youre into being the main caregiver then shrugs

-10 MILLION POINTS DEDUCTED for being funnier than me also. thats a mistake no one should ever make ☝🏿

DIAVOLO: well. you see. so. there's. well. so um.

I do think he has a bittttt of an issue with choosing to completely overlook things. Diavolo is on a very thin line to me as a character bcuz I do think he is silly and fun at times and not 'AS' quick to read the room... and really is just essentially like... experiencing things for the first time and causing unintentional chaos because he's been so tied to his duties all his life but he's also like? Still very grown, smart and capable of quiet observation of others. (gestures to NB currently)

I feel like he would be analyzing you all the time whether you realize it or not (for good or bad). He's just a lot more observant about things than you realize so while he WOULD use this for good to spoil you he would probably be reading into you as a person way too much. But in a lowkey manner. Not manipulatively per se just,,, I think you are still mainly like an intriguing pet to him at times, or something to study and take note of. Like he really just does whatever the hell he wants for his own pleasure. He made an entire fake beach and sun just cuz he wanted a beach day yknow what the hell. I get it but how did he do that. What other powers do you have

Impressing you could come off as belitting you unintentionally (not always but sometimes). OKAY WALK WITH ME HERE- for example. That one scene from Ouran High School when Tamaki is making a big show of trying 'commoners coffee'. I know what youre saying ur sayin 'But Carly that sounds more like something Mephisto would do' nonono I shake my head. Mephisto is not going to make a show of trying it he'll just outright be recommending YOU a specially made blend of his tastes to put YOU onto better things FIRST. Diavolo's DIVING IN first though. Dia would absolutely think it's some great big fun adventure to try 'normal' human world tea or coffee and comment on it. But like, if i was sitting across from this big hulking guy complimenting tea I drink normally in a 'Wow, so this is what humans drink. How inspiring.' I'd want to shake him since it unintentionally sounds like im being belittled -_-. Give me back my damn instant blend! ❗ ❗ He's thinking he's bonding with you and trying something from your culture (which yes he is), but does it warrant such grand showboating and amazement. It's just tea man. Just silently enjoy a cuppa instead of patting yourself on the back for being brave enough to try human tea </3

Or. Or. demanding your time on his schedule at the wrong times. He's The Prince why wouldn't you wanna drop everything and have dinner with him. 'Oh,,, you're busy 👉👈 oh what a shame.👉👈 we (Barbatos) prepared a nice lovely dinner! 👉👈 However, I suppose its quite alright if you do what you need to do. 👉👈 Eating alone tonight, be safe 👉👈' And then he sends a picture of the meal with eye emojis, do you get what im putting down

One big flop for certain tho is him always being oh so busy. Like sit there and really imagine it. Dating a royal is already something but a Prince? Soon to be King? thats a lot of responsibility to juggle I know it'd get crazy balancing attention and schedules.

Also lets be real yall he's so used to being babied quite a bit, mainly by Barbatos. Barbatos is tough on him at times for his own good sure but he more-so spoils him still (hypocrite that he is!). are you ready to unintentionally be compared to that in terms of being able to care for Diavolo. Barbatos won't technically be competing with you either but as his main caregiver he'll still be inserting a lot of himself between the two of you. Also, that man is lowkey needy and has some lingering childhood issues you will have to be very careful with talking abt and comforting him for once he gets to a point to actually open up about it- so be mindful of these things

Also he's insane. But if you're into insanity it's probably whatever.

BARBATOS: I know I am '''''''''barbatos ceo''''''''' so i have been very very very delusional about him but aside from being so very 'malewifecore' i'd place him on a scale of 1 -10 at a 8.5 (1 being worst mostl likely to flop partner ever, 10 being best). Looking at his character he's very much set on keeping a very decent distance between him and the player for quite some time so i think dating wise there's just so many things he'd never properly open up about. Or it'd take so very impossibly long.

I remember reading his wiki one day and seeing this ^ (which btw theres a lot going on there.) so I feel like, even if he did really like you, he would most definitely always prioritize his work to the royal family first so.... he might potentially? be on the fence about further pursuing things with you even at one point??? Not to say that he isn't caring and attentive but I think he would greatly struggle with balancing his openness and affection towards you. And we must keep in mind that just like Mammon he ALSO has the Greed sin. He is a lot less likely to show it around others but he is very secretly possessive and makes it known occasionally so if you have problems with that it'd be interesting finding a balance with him. Secretly he 'will he or wont he' dude internally. But yea I've always thought it's so interesting that he'd say he just gives up. Makes you wonder and think more... but yet he wants to be bound by his lover. Very conflicting right? Which explains his struggles with desires and duty very well!

More on his duties though he's gonna overwork himself like crazy and it would be so tricky making plans or spending time together. Also he lowkey has insecurities about ONLY being tied to the butler role, much like how Leviathan will always bring up being a shut in. Like you are more than that cmon -_- youre gonna make MC feel bad! He must still be reassured a fair amount!

Something is also terribly wrong with him. but if you are insane like me you find that fun. Like oh he's tortured people? God forbid women do anything in this economy 🙄

Actual in person dating though <- she would be perplexed by his mysterious unnerving ways

SIMEON: Simeon definitely high on the scale of being a good partner so he's A LOT less likely to flop on this list. BUT, he definitely seems to hold back on sharing his opinions or opening up about certain things with himself quite a bit. 😮 And I feel like he might be the type to try and keep the mood content and peaceful so it would be a bit hard to talk about the unpleasant things. He CAN talk about unpleasant things, dont get me wrong, but I get the feeling he'd be good at dodging certain things and saying what you feel like should be said. Especially if he isn't particularly ready to talk about something YET. Big emphasis on the YET. I imagine as his partner, if you are aware that he's constantly being a bit dodgy about certain topics constantly you would feel some way about it since it's easy to recognize when he's doing it. This isn't to say he's manipulative or a dishonest character, but I find that it would take a long time to really get to his core even if things are genuinely sweet and easygoing between you two.

Also its a genuine pet-peeve for some people to deal with others that arent all that tech savvy? If you show him a meme on your phone he's gonna grab the whole thing, not get it at all, say 'who is this?' in confusion, try to zoom in and when he taps the screen it's gonna switch to a different picture/app and he'll be like 'What happened to it :(' which I think is hilarious and cute; but once again, could be something that genuinely annoys ppl, and annoyances over little quirks DO build up over time! Still adore him tho mwah

SOLOMON: Something is wrong with him. 🚶🏿‍♀️ That's his flaw. 🚶🏿‍♀️ Like something is just deeply wrong with him and he's way too casual about it. 🚶🏿‍♀️ He's literally that post where it's like 'yea something happened to your boyfriend and he came back all wrong. yea. sorry. we don't know what happened.'

If you're the type that stresses about things or worries a lot or finds that very easy-going people annoy you then well... Solomon will annoy you.

Im not saying he's not going to be attentive to you because he's shown to be very active and forward in a lot of ways, but I'm talking more along the lines of unintentionally dismissing things. Like for me personally I need a bit of guidance and structure and direction and if I don't see that I will be forced to take the lead. Just depends on how you are as a person really!

Let's get the most obvious thing out of the way though he can never cook you a fancy meal. Not everyone can cook we all have our different strengths that is for certain but if you don't tell him straight up, or constantly You're Going To Have To Eat His Food.

He may or may not be the reason you constantly get into situations also, in between Levi's games and Diavolo's chaos, Solomon is pretty much the main reason so many situations happen in events!? fhskfs I think that would increase in dating him even if he does actually do his best to look out for you in his own way.

But he's also like. Just a guy to me. Which is crazy because besides the mental illness + genuinely being playful with the MC, there is surprisingly a lot to him that is just. not touched on writing wise. or not explored. so I can admit there are other things that aren't coming to mind really. He's just there to me.

Apparently he's very forgetful with important dates also so if thats something that bothers you then well </3

MEPHY: of course in comparison to the others we do not know AS much abt Mephisto but looking a mile away you know his elitism is his main flaw. He would be very uppity with you and not realize whats wrong with that per se, even though he's so quick to call out the rudeness or impoliteness of others

his main flop is that he's going to be dramatic as hell at some point whether intentionally or not. he is definitely the guy to tell you he's fine while he's visibly shaking fists clenched trying to act unbothered when he really wants to complain to someone. He may very well go running to Satan or Dia for advice regarding the two of you if he really needs a second opinion without directly consulting you. So yes, those guys will also be privy to your business by extension. I know Belphie's also in the anti-luci league but can we really count on him for advice when Satan is most definitely the more dependable choice? anyways

Mephisto is also literally the image of the boyfriend walking with his girlfriend looking back at another girl. But the other girl is Dia. He's looking back at Dia sorry... that's his childhood buddy. He's so obsessed with that guy.............. You're gonna hear him going woe is me a lot over losing his buddy to his duties and the Prince always having his attention on Luci.... it just is what it is :/ Me personally also I just feel like I would get into mini arguments with him a lot. he is my rival and my bestie in my mind that I want to strangle whenever he opens his mouth

Like he is a BRAGGER by nature. And if you do not like people that brag about the littlest things he is going to get on your nerves. And since he also seems to come from a royal/rich background he is most definitely spoiled and parades through life with the expectation that others will treat him with appropriate amounts of respect. And due to his riches he could indirectly insult you at some point no matter what your financial status is, he may unintentionally make a comment that's in poor taste. Like if you take him to your favorite hole in the wall restaurant for a chill date he's going to say things even if he doesn't actually mean to come off as prudish.

He'd make an effort at least if youre getting him to try new things and he's not necessarily THAT uptight. He gets involved with things and has fun still!.... sometimes! But in reference to what I mentioned about Dia earlier with the whole commoners coffee thing this is another example to compare. Dia trying a burger for the first time would be like: "Ah! So this is what it's like to enjoy something this simple. The taste is rather interesting but I quite like it! Perhaps I will ask Barbatos if he can add this homestyle method to our regular menu :D" Whereas Meph is taking bites with his knife and fork like: "Hm. They really ought to improve the production cost and quality for these things. Oh, No I never said i disliked it, I'm merely making a note of something. Not bad though."

RAPHAEL: once again in comparison to the others we do not know AS much about him compared to the 'main' group. so im going off the little that i have witnessed in game and trying my hardest not to confuse that with fanposts but... He's so terribly blunt and unaware of things. He's a bit similar to Beel in that regard that he dives first into things and seems rather uncaring or dismissive about something due to his bluntness. But he's like BLUNT blunt, like blunt to the max even. Like this is crazy to me. how is it that LUCIFER is saying you're too much for him.

So he would most definitely struggle with being way too blunt towards YOU... it would take awhile for him to ease up on that I believe.

I'll be honest he kinda just. Sits there quietly really. I imagine trying to talk to him can feel a little bit like dealing with a brick wall, because I think it would be hard to understand what's going on in his mind at times, not to mention being tied down with his strictness.

And not to mention his sense of justice and penchant for casually mentioning violence seems to completely overpower him at the flip of a switch. I mean if you're cool with him threatening to use his spear on people that annoy you then so be it.

I don't know really, he's just so neurodivergent to me so i cant really call him a flop for that he just exhibits so many of those traits, it's just something you'd have to work on with him or get accustomed to

-ONE BILLION TRILLION POINTS DEDUCTED FOR LIKING SOLOMONS FOOD THO 100000000000000 EXP

THIRTEEN: once again in comparison to the others we do not know AS much about her compared to the 'main' group.

but she is most def on the LEAST likely to flop at dating you end of the list, cuz she quite LITERALLY is upfront about liking the player a lot more quickly than the others. she's literally so cute and just minds her business until OTHER people bother her peace. She does have tsundere-like qualities sure, but if you're direct with her she does eventually come around to expressing why she does what she does. And I don't think she would ever mess with the length of your lifespan just bcuz the two of you have a little disagreement or something. To someone else though for fun, sure:

that aside tho i can't particularly point out any major flaws in the moment i love her so bad. someone would have to sell me on it, but also why arent you supporting womens wrongs hm? 🤨🤨🤨🤨