#but in any case i have three more to work on for now- i have those skethed and done at least so i just have to finish em

[tahbhie]

The Act of Writing Psychotic Characters 

Part 1: Attention vs Intention

It's been a while since I received this request, and I ensured I took my time with the thoughts, evaluation, and analysis. This topic will be covered in three parts, so here's the first.

Before we proceed, please note that I am not a psychiatrist, psychologist, or any professional in that field. This is just an insight into how this kind of concept can fit into your novels.

Okay, let's begin.

The Attention vs Intention part of this topic will discuss two ways of portraying these type of characters in scenes. 

First, you need to understand that psychotic characters aren't psychotic based solely on their speeches or actions. If that's all you have in mind before approaching a story, you might leave a huge gap in the execution.

Rather, it's how they feel—the desire to satisfy their current emotions.

They have drives and motives, but most especially beliefs which, in most cases, are hardly understandable by other people. It's wrong and unacceptable by society, but to them, they wouldn't do it any differently.

That's why most psychotic characters have no remorse. You simply can't apologize or feel sorry if you don't 'believe' that you're in the wrong.

➜ Attention Psychosis

Psychotic characters whose main purpose in a story is limited to presence (i.e., showing up in scenes and visibly serving the role of a psychotic character) are attention psychotics. You don't flesh out their backstory or why they are who they are.

Their drives and motives aren't talked about enough to the point of justification. Readers hardly care about them, but the action they bring to the scene creates a rich narrative with the purpose of psychosis.

In summary, their role is minor. We see such cases in movies like The Babysitter.

Let's agree that none of the cult characters in that movie are exactly sane, as their main aim is to end their victims’ lives in the sickest ways possible. However, there's a certain character, Max, who simply enjoys the idea of "killing and seeing people bleed."

That has exceeded the central idea of being a cultist who gets involved in blood sacrifice to achieve their 'dream life' like the rest of the characters. It's now something more and different.

Something that has to do with homicidal ideation.

Max worked in a diner where he dealt with people that annoyed him so greatly that he wanted to kill them. So he got the opportunity to join a cult and do just that.

It was plain clear this guy had something else going on for him, but throughout the movie, his character had no special attention or even a peek into his thoughts. Although, it still worried the audience. Job done.

➜ Intention Psychosis

When a story is centered around a character's mental state, their motives, drives, beliefs, actions, and the story actually unfolds by going deeper into this concept, you have intention psychosis.

If not entirely, at least mostly, it defines the entire plot surrounding that character. People get to understand why they are who they are, their mode of action, what drives them, and even a peek into how they perceive the world around them.

Such scenarios are seen in movies like The Joker and Pyramid game (Korea). The audience gets a glimpse into their overall life and understands at least to an extent why they are the way they are.

Their beliefs get twisted for certain reasons, and there was just no stopping them. Here the characters were more than a presence; they were a central core.

In the movie Joker, we watched Arthur’s impoverished life unfold, with every event and incident worsening his condition further.

Baek Ha-rin in Pyramid Game literally created an entire game system to watch a student, who happened to be her old friend, suffer both physically and mentally. She went to great lengths to carry out this nefarious act under the guise of the game. Although this movie encompassed more than just this storyline, it was hard to ignore the unhealthy drive and actions of the young lady with an innocent face.

Before incorporating a psychotic character in your novel, determine their form of portrayal and appearance in the overall story. Are they going to serve as an attention psychotic or an intention psychotic?

Inspired by @sothera

Stay tuned for the next part!

۝ Before you go! ۝

My Characters and I is an extensive one-on-one coaching session designed to create characters that leap off the pages and become best friends with your readers.

What's a great story without remarkable characters? Spots are filling up fast, so grab yours now and get ahead of millions of writers out there.

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[juniperskye]

Just a little something.

Based on the following ask: I have a request that may be a little difficult for you to write, if you're up for it. I would like to request Hotch with a non-bau reader that likes to crochet in their spare time, particularly stuffed animals, and gift them to others. Jack and Hotch would obviously receive the majority of the amigurumi projects, but one day, the reader makes too many little crochet animals and persuades Hotch to take them to work and hand them out to other agents. You wouldn't have to go too into depth about the crocheting techniques if you don't think you could properly write about it; you could honestly just mention the creation period in passing and the present the finished crochet piece in the plot.

Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader

Fluff

Word count: 841

Not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, Age gap (non-specified), established relationship with Hotch, no use of y/n, Fem reader, reader has no physical description, reader crochets, mention of Jack, mention of reader’s nieces and nephews, mention of anxiety (reader uses crocheting as an outlet) use of pet names, let me know if I missed any!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

You had picked up crocheting back when you were in college. Then, and even now it served as an outlet to release stress and anxiety. When you had started out your projects were fairly simple, wash cloths, granny squares, simple blankets.

The beauty of this hobby was that it allowed for some beautiful handmade gifts. As time went on, you began making stuffed animals. Your sister had gifted you a book with patterns for amigurumi projects, and from then on you’d been making all sorts of little creatures.

The primary recipients of your creations had been your nieces and nephews. First it was their baby blankets, then elephants, and turtles, which turned into cows and opossums, and most recently Pokémon.

When you and Aaron started dating you’d mentioned your hobby in passing, but as things progressed in your relationship, crocheting seemed to come out a little more in you. You’d casually pull out a project while watching a movie with Aaron and Jack, you’d brought over a throw blanket for the back of the couch. You’d even gifted Aaron a scarf and some socks before he left for a case in Colorado in the dead of winter.

--

One night after finishing a plushie of Charmander for your nephew, Jack spoke up…soft and unsure.

“That’s really cool.” He whisper.

“Thanks bud, do you like Charmander?” You replied.

“Kinda…I don’t really play Pokémon that much.” He shrugged.

“Oh yeah, what do you like then?” You smiled.

“I like spiderman!” Jack exclaimed.

A few days later you’d showed up with a stuffed spiderman for Jack. He was over the moon and from then on, he wasn’t afraid to ask you directly for something.

--

He was an incredible kid, he’d patiently wait for you to complete the project, even asking you questions throughout the process.

“And what kind of stitch is that?” He’d ask.

“This one here is a half double crochet.” You answered.

“And that’s different than a single crochet?”

“Yes, for a half double, you put the yarn over and then pull it through all three loops. You see that?” You asked, holding the project up as you showed him how to do it.

That night you hopped online and ordered Jack a Woobles crochet kit so he could learn alongside you.

--

For as long as you’d been crocheting, people have suggested you open an Etsy shop, and you always met them with the same response; it’ll lose the serenity it currently brings me. And this is why you only make small batches for two local boutiques.

Once a month you make a few things for each shop, and you go in and drop them off. As they sell, the profits are split 60/40 between you and the shops, which gives you the money for yarn and a little extra.

In the last week, you’d made a wide variety of stuffed animals, ranging anywhere from dinosaurs and bunnies all the way to peas in a pod and cherries. You had been packing everything up to get ready to deliver them.

--

“Hey sweetheart.” Aaron called as you entered the apartment.

“Hi honey.” You set your tote bin down and made your way to the kitchen.

“How were the deliveries?” He asked, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“They were good! I actually came home with a few things. With the Holidays just ending, one of the shops still had a few items and so they didn’t need their usual stock.” You explained.

“Oh, well now you’ll have some for next time?” He offered.

“You know, next time it’ll be Easter themed stuff…chicks and bunnies. What if you took some of these in for the BAU?” You suggested. “I can wrap one up for each of them and you can leave them on their desks for me.”

“I’m not sure…”

“Oh, please Aaron! Think of it as a late Christmas gift from me! I’ll even write them notes so they know it’s from me!”

“Sweethe-”

“Please!” You begged.

“Okay sweetheart. Whatever you want.” Aaron pressed a kiss to your forehead.

--

The next morning Aaron arrived at work even earlier than usual, that way he could place the brightly colored bags on everyone’s desks prior to their arrival. You had selected a specific plush for each person, even pulling from some other projects you had stored for an event you’d be participating in.

One by one, each member of the BAU arrived, quickly taking note of the giftbags on each desk. They shared confused glances and shrugged before Aaron stepped out of his office.

“There should be a note in each bag. Feel free to open them and enjoy.” He said, returning to his office.

Aaron smiled gently, toying with the crocheted whale shark you snuck into his bag. You always said he, like whale sharks frightened people, due to preconceived notions derived from fear, but in all actuality, they were gentle creatures.

Aaron’s smile only grew as he heard Garcia squeal with joy over the soft unicorn you’d gifted her.

[eclipseberrycake]

Poly! MoonBerryCake x Reader Pt. 7

AN: The long awaited part 7. Before anyone fears, no this isn't the end of the series don't you worry. I don't have many ideas for the next few parts, but I'm sure I'll think of something or one of you can help!

Also how do we feel about giving Reader a tail? /gen I have a few ideas I've been toying with with reader having a tail, but I don't want to cross the line between too self indulgent and reflecting of my character, rather than trying to be as inclusive as possible.

-> Part One -> Part Two -> Part Three -> Part Four -> Part Five -> Part Six -> Part Six 1/2

Warnings: Depictions of past trauma/ injury, past depictions of being turned into a Twisted/ seeing a loved one as a twisted/ recovering from being a Twisted, mentions of vomit, past depictions of losing a lost one, talk of scars (In a positive light, but just in case!)

☁ The first few nights were hard. So, so incredibly hard. Not by any fault of your own, oh absolutely not, but that didn't make the nights any less taxing or offer them anymore rest.

☁ There were a few times you offered tearfully to sleep in your old room so they could hopefully get some rest, each one shot down with a stern No'. The mere thought of having you out of their line of sight was more than their nerves could take, especially somewhere where they couldn't reach immediately? Hard Pass.

☁ The first night was by far the worst. Cosmo can't say he really remembers recovering from being a twisted, but there was one thing that stuck out for him during the entire process. And that was you. You were there the entire time, gently pressing cool cloths to his forehead, helping him sip water, even keeping saltine crackers on hand in case his temporarily fickle stomach decided that food was somewhat acceptable.

☁ You were the same with Astro and Sprout as well, ensuring the recovery, as awful as it was, was still as seamless as you could make it. If there was one thing he did remember about healing from being a twisted, is that he would never wish it upon another being. Much less you.

☁ The first night you're returned, you're rushed to med-bay as a flurry of commotion happens. Those left behind are eager to see if you've been returned, especially poor Toodles who took your turning hard. She's holding Blu when they rush past, tears in her large eyes, but Rodger is quick to turn her away.

☁ Sprout is already barking orders with Ginger meeting them halfway, first aid kit in hand. They had given you minimal attention in the ride up, but they didn't have the time, space or resources necessary to give you proper medical attention.

☁ It's a flurry of action that follows right after. Astro stays up by your head, wiping the ichor that stained your mouth and clumped your fur. His cheeks are shiny as he does it, shaking his head every now and then before continuing his actions.

☁ Cosmo barely remembers all he did that night, there was so much that needed done. That wound you had received from-...From when you turned into a twisted had never closed, the excess ichor from being a twisted keeping you alive. It was an awful, horrid thought, but not one they could ignore as Cosmo hurriedly worked alongside his cousin to close it. Sprout busied himself with working on the claw marks across your face you had made in your confused state. Every bit he seemed to do made his grimace deepen. He wasn't sure what the other was seeing, but currently wasn't certain he wanted to know during this moment.

☁ Your teeth still remained sharp as you groaned in pain throughout the process, hands reaching back up to swat at the insistent burden yanking on your wounds, only for them to be caught by Shelly, who had followed to offer her help.

☁ She had felt awful about the entire situation, regardless if you would've done it either way. Vee as well, though she stayed further back to avoid getting in the way. Shelly's tougher skin made her more resistant to your claws and slashes, so she was a welcome helper, even if it made the working space a bit more cramped.

☁ Seeing you hurt like that was an awful feeling. Cosmo remembers feeling the bile burn at the back of his throat that night, increasing in every little noise or whimper of pain you made. Even when the worst was handled, he had to step back for a moment, hiding in Astro's chest as Sprout continued wiping away what was left. The same grimace was on his features, one much more intense than what was usually there when he was in doctor mode.

☁ He didn't speak more on it until far after Shelly had taken her leave with a tearful well wishes. Even then, the berry had only dragged a chair closer, hiding his face in his hands. Neither Astro nor himself knew where to go from there, and that just made them feel all the more worse as you seemed to fall into a fitful unconsciousness.

☁ Cosmo wasn't sure if it counted as sleep, honestly, not with how you still shook.

☁ "They have so many scars." Sprout finally spoke up, voice wavering before it cracked as he smoothed back his leaves, letting them fall back into place. "They hide them under their fur. How did-..." Sprout swallowed tightly at this before looking up at them with teary eyes. "How did we miss that?"

☁ Neither waited for a moment further before rounding around the medical bed to wrap their arms around the berry. He was tricky when it came to emotions, especially since this entire thing began, flickering between anger and denial like a coin, to see him break down like that was rare.

☁ "It's easy to miss." Cosmo nearly choked on the words, tears welling in his eyes as he flickered between watching your chest rise and fall to the floor. There was a crack in one of the tiles. You'd want that fixed, so no one tripped. He'd make not of it later. "Their fur covers it-"

☁ "Is that really an excuse?" Sprout cuts back in, his own eyes watching you in the same clinical way Cosmo found himself doing it. "For the others maybe. But us?"

☁ Cosmo couldn't find any rebuttal, swallowing tightly. He knows he himself has spent countless hours with his fingers running along your fur, playing with the stands and drawing shapes against the grain of it. He just never really focused on the skin beneath because he truthfully didn't think too. Looking back, maybe that was on him. He should've done better, done something more-

☁ "I don't think anyone's at fault." Astro's comment cut through the sudden silence. He had been dreadfully silent since getting back from the run so to hear him sound so exhausted was...jarring. He always had a sleepy, tired lilt to his voice, but to hear it like that made Cosmo's tail curl tighter against his back.

☁ Silence fell again before Astro was continuing. "I think, to a degree, it would be...more questionable if they didn't have any. They've been doing this far longer than you, me or even Cosmo's been in the picture. We can't stop them, but we can support them however possible as we have been." Astro swallows for a moment, using a star shard to bring a box of tissues closer. He takes one, wiping under his eye before setting it to the side. "They will always be like this. They'll be our self-sacrificing idiot who doesn't know when to stop, but that's why we fell in love with them. We can't change them and I hope none of us would try. Their scars are part of who they are. We-...I love every part of them, even the parts they may not love as much. Those parts we just have to love a little extra."

☁ The words stand, nearly tangible in the air for a long while. He's right. There are very few times when Astro isn't, but it's a jarring notion to understand what you truly went through. Even Cosmo himself hadn't known how long you and Poppy and Boxten had been doing it since he wasn't even the first returned. No, by the time he had been recovered, Finn, Shrimpo and Rodger had been well acquainted parts of the group and you had become comfortable in your role as a distractor.

☁ He wonders just how much of the burden you've carried silently with you. He's terrified of the answer you'd give if he asked.

☁ "I do...I do love them." Sprout choked, as if that was ever being brought into question. "I just- What if they hurt? What if every time we ask them to distract they're just a constant reminder of every past failure to them? They've done so much for all of us. Who are we to ask anything more?"

☁ "Like Astro said, it's who they are. I think if they truly didn't want to distract, they wouldn't. And I hope they would feel safe enough to come to us if the scars were causing them pain." The first tear falls down Cosmo's cheek, which is quickly wiped with a star shard covered in a tissue. "I mean, for heaven's sake, they turned into a twisted to save Vee on a run to save Shelly. If that's not the most selfless thing I've seen, I don't know what is."

☁ "Truthfully, I think I rather would've dealt with Vee's Twisted then theirs." Astro deadpans only to immediately flush a navy blue as Sprout cackles, Cosmo hiding his own laughs behind a hand. Astro practically swallows his tongue as he's quick to try and amend it with, "Not that I would wish that on any of us!"

☁ Sprout shakes his head as he finally leans back, his own cheeks shiny- which the star shard tries to wipe at only to get swatted at, making Astro pout. Both of Sprout's arms reach around to hook around both Cosmo and Astro as he takes a final deep breath. "We'll talk with them. Maybe now they'll see reason. Because yeah. I'm not dealing with that again."

☁ "They were so scary!" Cosmo whines, leaning on Sprout's shoulder. "But also-...Hear me out-"

☁ "Stoooop." Sprout groans, tipping his head back as Astro nods solemnly. "I'm hearing."

☁ Cosmo laughs at this before you're suddenly jumping up, cheeks puffed and they already know what that entails. Cosmo grabs the nearest trash can while Astro gently pulls back anything that could get in the way while Sprout makes for the nearest medication cabinet.

☁ Cosmo holds the trash can for you as you purge the excess ichor in your body, watching your heaves with a heartbroken glance while Astro rubs your back, even if he himself looks nauseous at the sight and sounds. He's quick to switch with Sprout when he returns, measuring out the stomach medication the berry had grabbed. It had aided the rest of them when it came to rejecting the ichor and they hoped it would with you too.

☁ In the very least, as awful as it was, it was a good sight to see as it meant you were recovering in the very least. Even if your heaves sounded painful and tears tracked down your cheeks. It would a pattern that would continue throughout the night unfortunately, which they would need to stay up to assist you with, but it was a chore they were more than happy to do. You had been the one to sit with each of them throughout the night, making sure they had all the comfort you could offer at the time.

☁ So even as the minutes ticked like hours, they knew it was all worth it. Every trip to empty the trash cash, every startled awakening at the sound of your gags, every wince as you pleaded for mercy. Anything to get you back.

☁ The following days are better. The next morning, right before it could be qualified as noon, you were cognizant enough to recognize where you were, eyes unfocused as you swayed, trying to sit up only for that to be one of the worst ideas you've ever had.

☁ The boyfriend on duty is quick to come to your side, with a hand on your back as soft whispers buzzed in your ear. You curled in on yourself, eyes scrunching shut before a deep breath had you finally stabilizing enough you could blink your eyes. Sprout was right there, offering you a gentle smile as he tried to figure out what exactly you were seeing.

☁ You practically threw yourself at him, pulling him close as tears burned your eyes. You cried into his scarf as his hands slowly curled back around you, squeezing you tightly to his chest as his own shoulders shook. "Oh. bud, I've missed you."

☁ "I'm sorry." You blab. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." You cry, squeezing him tighter when it almost seems like he's going to pull away. You don't remember much about your time as a twisted except for spotting Sprout and smelling the ichor of a non-twisted toon being spilt. You prayed it wasn't you to cause that wound, that there was no wound at all, but subtly looking at his arm quickly dashes that hope.

☁ "No, no, bud you did nothing wrong." This time you allow him to pull away, only for his hands to cup your cheeks. "You're just as perfect as you always are." His green eyes shine with unshed tears, which quickly rectify that by trailing down his freckled cheeks. You sob at the sight, your own hands- with nails longer than you normally keep them- cupping his cheeks.

☁ Sprout crashed his lips against yours in a show of desperation, tears making the kiss taste salty as your shoulders fall in relief. IF he was okay, the others had to be okay, right? They had to be? You didn't hurt them too, did you? You prayed not.

☁ Pulling away, you angled his chin every which way, scanning his face as he gave you a few watery chuckles. "You're okay? All leaves, limbs and seeds?"

☁ Sprout caught your hands, pulling them down so he could look at you, nothing but sweet, adoring love in his eyes. "Leaves, limbs and seeds all attached." He coos, laying his forehead on yours as his shoulders heave with a long heavy sigh. "Oh, bud. You're okay."

☁ "You're not." You frown, feeling the tears threaten to burst out all over again. "I'm-"

☁ "It wasn't you." Sprout interrupts, making you blink. "No, a twisted flutter got me, but you? Even a twisted, you've proven you'll still protect us." His smile is sad, but relieved as you feel your stomach finally settle.

☁ You get a few moments more before the door is being slammed open, but not by another toon. No, it must've been ajar, because who else is waiting there but Blu herself, looking as grumpy as the day she accidentally fell into the snow in Bobette's shop, mewing in long, interrupted yowls as she trotted to the medical bed, jumping up and immediately crawling all over you.

☁ Sprout tried to grab her, but you waved him off, scooping up the baby and letting her place her paw on your cheek. You cooed at her, nuzzling your nose against her cold, wet one. She mewled once more before it delved into a purr, making you snicker. "I know, tell me all about how unfair your dads are."

☁ "Oi!" Sprout immediately called, looking only mildly offended before footsteps had you both looking over at the doorway once more. Cosmo was there, already panting as he leaned his head against the doorway. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, she was sleeping and then suddenly just took off and-" He looked up at that point, only for his mouth to gape open. He stilled for a second as Astro popped his head in, looking at the pastry. "Did you find-"

☁ He too was left slack-jawed before Cosmo was moving and he was following, both wrapping you in tight hugs and a flurry of kisses. It was comforting and perfect, and enough to make you forget about how awful your stomach felt.

☁ They were quick to fill you in on everything that had happened in your absence and, honestly? Hearing Astro talk about having his best friend back made your heart thrum and how happy he seemed, moreso now that he had everyone in his little family back at long last.

☁ While your side still hurt and your muscles still sung from the strain put on them. being wrapped between them felt safe. Safer than you've felt since the moment of pure terror that wracked your entire nervous system the second you knew only one of you would make it to the elevator.

☁ Still, you knew there was something on the horizon. A discussion that needed to be had and it made whatever was left in your gut churn and rot further than it already had.

☁ It didn't come until later that night when you were finally back in your room, eating something soft and easy to digest (My personal fav is oatmeal but I know now everyone can eat that so y'all get to choose <3), chatting with Cosmo when a knock at the door made you look up.

☁ Astro had popped his head in, scanning for your form before immediately relaxing when he spotted you. "Are you okay with a few visitors? Absolutely feel free to say no."

☁ You honestly hadn't expected anyone to visit you, really. Goob and Scraps had both had their own tearful reunions with you, Goob especially, and Poppy and Boxten had visited as well. You weren't overly close with anyone else, but while confused, you nodded.

☁ Astro scanned you for a second, as if to see if you were lying, but when he found nothing he stepped more fully inside. Sprout followed, immediately wounding to your side and pressing a peck to your lips. You smiled at him before looking back over, eyes widening at the two toons standing there.

☁ Shelly looked nervous, but waved even as her smile wavered, her tail giving a small, short little wag. Vee looked miserable if you were honest. You had never seen the main so...upset, making you frown. Was she upset with you? You know you probably shouldn't have pushed her, but you had no other option at the time!

☁ Astro took his own spot beside, across from where Sprout had moved to sit beside Cosmo.

☁ "It's a pleasure to finally meet you." Shelly begins, tapping her fingers together before meeting your eye. "I wanted to thank you personally. And apologize. It was me you were retrieving and-"

☁ "And it wouldn't have happened if I had just picked up the pace." Vee cuts in. She makes it a point not to look at you, making you frown, fingers curling around your blanket. Vee let out a sigh, antennae giving a little spark as she wrapped her arms around herself. "I'm...So, so so-"

☁ "You have nothing to apologize for." You hold up a hand, scrunching your features. "I made my choice. You had nothing to do with what i decided. I promise. i never would've done something if it wasn't something I was sure about doing. There was never a moment I was upset with you, either of you." You're quick to reassure, sending them both a smile. Shelly returns it quickly, but Vee only gives you a glance and you frown.

☁ That was Sprout's best friend. You knew you didn't have to get along with everyone, but you wanted to get along with these two especially.

☁ Shelly seemed relieved at least, which made Astro relax at least a bit, but that wasn't enough for you. "I promise, Vee. If anything I owe you all an apology." You wilted a bit, even if Vee finally looked at you. "My twisted is...not the best, even I could admit that and I should've planned with the twisteds better rather than risk putting you guys in that situation. So for that, I apologize." You continue, continuing even if Vee looks like she's going to cut in. "It's happened, and it's fixed already. We can just blame whoever started the Ichor operation rather than try to keep playing this 'who can blame themself the most' game."

☁ Vee gapes and you smile at her softly, opening your arms. "Hug it out with me? Therefore all is forgiven and we can't blame ourselves anymore." The television looks at you, then at Shelly, then Sprout before her shoulders fall and she's slumping forward. You wrap your arms around her, feeling the chill of her metal plates. Looking over, you make eye contact with Shelly, who smiles sadly at the action. You open one of your arms and the fossil is immediately burrowing into the hug as well with her tail whapping about.

☁ When you separate, they take their leave not soon after, seemingly much lighter than when they came in. But then you're left with the other three. Astro's who's already sitting beside you, but the other two crawl onto the bed so you're all sitting in a circle of types.

☁ Your eyes dart from one to the next to the next before falling to where your knuckles are white around the blanket, having returned to clutching the fabric. You have to actively uncurl your fingers.

☁ You know there's probably tons to discuss, but you don't even know where to start.

☁ So Sprout does. He's never one to beat around the bush, especially looking back to before you all were together, and it's something you greatly admire about the berry.

☁ "We saw the scars." Is all he says, his own eyes remaining downcast as he plays with his scarf. You swallow, debating your options before breathing out, letting down the walls you normally kept up around everyone else.

☁ "Most of them are front the beginning." You admit. "I wasn't a good distractor then. I wasn't even really okay. I did it when we absolutely needed one. We had none of the trinkets we do now and didn't even think about them at the time. So I was an extractor and Cosmo knows that me extracting is like teaching a fish to fly." You spill immediately, thinking back to the lacerations that once marred your skin. "I'm sorry if they bothered you. I tried to keep them as covered up as possible. in case they...upset you all"

☁ "It's not the fact that their there, starlight. Well, I mean, that's kind of part of it, but...Why didn't you tell us?" Astro prods, laying a hand on you knee as another gentle rubs your shoulder. You bristle at the question, rolling your shoulders for a second before responding.

☁ "They aren't number one on my list of discussion topics. I'd rather forget about them personally." Simple as that.

☁ There's silence for a second before Cosmo is raising his hand, pointing to a white line that circles around his forearm. "This is from my time as a twisted. You'd remember best, but my hand was all sorts of messed up, right?"

☁ You nod at this and he points to his eye, with a matching line circling around it, so faint if he wasn't pulling attention to it, most wouldn't notice. "Half my face too, right?"

☁ You nod once more and he mimics the action. "Are you ashamed of my scars?"

☁ "No!" You're quick to bark, immediately ready to quell any worries he has, but Cosmo isn't done, pointing to Sprout- who blinks at the finger like it personally offended him. "What about Sprout? He has his own scars. You ashamed of those?"

☁ "No, Cosmo that's not-"

☁ "Then what about Astro? He's got his fair share too." The pastry points to one of the hands on your knees, which indeed had it's own smattering of scars from his time as a twisted.

☁ "No." You stare him down, gaze hard as he meets your own just as challenging. "Then why does that change for you?" You don't have an immediate answer, and Cosmo pounces on that. "What makes your scars different from ours? Why would we ever be ashamed of your scars, of your journey, when you would never dream of even thinking about that of ours?"

☁ You gape at him, trying to find some sort of defense, but you can't. He seems satisfied at that, but it's not for long as you're speaking once more.

☁ "Mine were self-inflicted." You avoid looking at them, even as your heart practically chokes you. "You never signed up to be a twisted. I willingly trained and worked to become a distractor. These come with the territory."

☁ There's silence for a second before Sprout is speaking once more. "Do they hurt?"

☁ You frown at the question, but shake your head. "No. They don't."

☁ Sprout exhales in relief at this before leaning back on his palms. "This isn't meant to make you feel any type of way about them, bud. They're yours and we understand better than most that scars can bring...complicated feelings. There's just...so many. We just want you to care a little more about yourself."

☁ "Seeing you in danger all the time is hard on his heart." Astro gently jokes, even if he gets a light kick in return for the jab. The celestial takes a breath before leaning on your shoulder, one of his hands reaching to hold your own. "We just want you safe, starlight, above all else. The bed's too big for three of us."

☁ You take a breath that quivered in your lungs before nodding slowly. You had expressed to Astro before how terrified you were of your own twisted and never wished to expose it to them, but did so anyway.

☁ You could only imagine the fear they were feeling the entire time, especially on the retrieval.

☁ "I'm sorry. Not for doing what I did, I don't regret and never will." You began, finally looking back up at them. "But I agree. I've been a bit careless. It's a distractor's job to keep the twisteds occupied, but not by being a dumbass. I don't want to give up distracting though." By the end you're practically pleading.

☁ "And we would never ask you too." Sprout gives you a soft smile. "Even if you stress me the fuck out, you enjoy it. Just...maybe keep the distance between you and the twisteds a bit bigger. And keep an escape route open whenever possible. And a bandage on hand. And a can of pop. And-"

☁ You laugh, wiping your tears as you shake your head. "I get it. I'm sorry I scared you all."

☁ "Just remind us to never piss you off." Cosmo shakes his head. "You're scary when angry. Although, watching you protect Sprout like that-"

☁ "We are not having this conversation again!" Sprout immediately shuts down, hitting the pastry in the face with a pillow, quickly getting a swift hit in retaliation. The two tussle for a second, making you give a wet laugh as Astro nuzzles into you. Your finger taps on the back of his hand, silently asking for an explanation.

☁ He hums in acknowledgement at the unasked question, moving to kiss your shoulder. "You're hot in all forms. Cosmo especially likes your protective side."

☁ This makes you bark out a laugh, calling the attention of the other two back to you.

☁ "What are you laughing at?" Sprout grinned, straddling Cosmo who was squirming under the hand on his forehead keeping him pinned down.

☁ "You're all such dorks." You snicker, grinning before holding your hands out to them. "Hugs?"

☁ You're only able to let out a yelp at Sprout turns instead pull you into his chest, the other two also wrapped in the absolute bear hug. It makes your heart thrum happily, especially when Blu manages to pop her head up in a crevice and mew her greetings happily.

☁ So even while the first few nights were hard, as you lay there, wrapped in the embrace of your boys and feeling their laughter once more, you know that tonight won't be nearly as so.

☁ And if absolutely nothing else, that was what made it all worth it.

AN: Guys, remember how I made that joke (It wasn't a joke) about hating that Rodger and taking it out on their Bobette? GUESS WHO'S NOW A MARKETABLE PLUSH >:) Huge huge huge shoutout to @belifbel

RAHH LOOK AT THEM

[starredblood]

NOWHERE GIRL

PART TWO

kang sae-byeok x fem!reader

synopsis: time is ticking but sae-byeok seems to grow more irritated by your existence meanwhile you come face to face with the secret you’ve been holding onto.

wc. 1.9k

warnings: hints of homophobia | authors note: thanks for the love on part one! enjoy part two and let me know if you want to be added onto my taglist.

(nowhere girl masterlist)

You decided to get ready early in the morning to stay in your school campus for the entire day just to avoid staying at Ji-yeong and Sae-byeok’s apartment. Your new plan was just to stay here to sleep so wouldn’t bother them as much. Especially, Sae-byeok.

Because there was only so much you could pack in your duffle bag, you only brought your laptop, portfolio tote and your small portable supply container.

Before you head out, you go on your phone to find your new route to school for the week. And because you were concentrating, you failed to hear someone come out their room and walk towards you.

“Hey.” Sae-byeok hisses.

You shot your head up wondering why she’s up so early. Sae-byeok must also start her days early seeing as she has on her utility jacket, a pair of baggy jeans, and her unruly hair was more styled. The apartment was dimly lit so you can’t make out her expression, but you can only assume she isn’t happy about something you did.

“Why did you give Cheol your crayons?”

You blink. “You mean oil pastels?”

“Yes.” she grimaces. “I don’t know you so I don’t want you to be giving him things. Especially not without my permission.”

“They’re my old sets so I thought it would be better to give it to him than to throw them away.”

“We don’t need your charity case. Don’t give him any more of your shit.”

A frown starts to form on your lips. It’s bad enough you can’t go home anymore, now you have to deal with this.

You can feel your blood begin to boil watching Sae-byeok head to the front door, so you follow her out.

“They’re just oil pastels I don’t see why this has to be such a big deal?” you say to her, your voice louder now that you’re out of the apartment. Sae-byeok isn’t moved by your words. “Your brother looked so happy when I told him he could keep them—I wasn’t planning on giving him anything more.”

The morning breeze hits your red cheeks, cooling them. You following her like a baby duckling was not how you wanted to start your morning when you had a long day ahead.

Once you’re both out on the streets, Sae-byeok stops walking and spins around to face you. She took one step closer and you take a step back.

“Good.” Sae-byeok says.

“Good?”

Sae-byeok doesn’t like naive people. She doesn’t know you but from what she could guess: you’re just a spoiled daughter who threw a tantrum and ran away to prove a point. Once it all blows over, you have a support system to bounce back on. You can go back to focusing solely on your studies and later make a name for yourself—everything she can’t do no matter how many hours in the days she works or how many people she pickpockets.

“Yes. Good.” she repeats mockingly. “I don’t want him to get too attached to you being here—he’s a sensitive kid. So, just keep to yourself and focus on how you’re going to find a new place to stay in less than a week. Got it?”

You didn’t think the words of someone you met three days ago would affect you so much. But here you are, frozen in place, ashamed of yourself. However, in the back of your mind, you couldn’t help but think about the shift in accents when she spoke.

⊹ ✿・・───・・✦・・───・・✿

You were the first person in the art studio—about an hour or so early. With all your deadlines quickly approaching you saw the silver lining in arriving to your university early because you can catch up with all your work. Right now you were working on an art piece due next week, not realizing that class was soon starting and your friends began arriving.

“Hey.” one of them greets you.

You look down from your piece and smile at, Park Yoon. She was the first person you contacted when you got kicked out of your parent’s house, you lived in her dormitory for only a week before you got caught. Although you wouldn’t consider Yoon a close friend seeing as she has a huge friend group, she was a reliant one.

“How are you, um, holding up?” she asks quietly to not catch the attention of the other students who began arriving.

“Not bad. I’m staying at an old school friends apartment for the time being.” you tell her, wiping your hands with a moist cloth.

Yoon nods looking at the ground in contemplation. “How long?”

“A week—well technically until Friday so five days.”

Something about her behavior seems off to you. Usually, she is pretty chipper ready to talk someone’s ears off. But today she is quieter, talking in less verbiage. Yoon shoots a glance around the classroom, surveying the vicinity to make sure no one is watching.

“There were rumors flying around about the real reason you ran away.”

You snort and fall back down on your seat to meet her at eye level. “Rumors? Aren’t we too old to be starting rumors?”

Yoon frowns and scoots a little back. “You know what it is…right?”

You stare at the floor, expressionless.

“They aren’t true, right?” Yoon asks cautiously. You threw her a look and the girl’s lips part to gasp or say something—you aren’t sure but it wasn’t a good reaction. Your heart rate begins to increase as you turn to face your canvas.

It’s all over now, you think. If Yoon has figured it out so will the rest of your peers and your social life is beyond the grave now.

Not even a minute later, Yoon stands up and sits on the other side of the room when she saw her friends enter. You start to become paranoid, wondering if she’ll immediately begin to gossip.

Throughout the duration of class you couldn’t help but get lost in your thoughts. The anticipation of everyone finding out about you was swallowing you whole. You are starting to wish that time moves slower so you wouldn’t have to leave class.

It didn’t help that Yoon and her friends kept stealing looks at your direction. You tried to avoid making eye contact but you would find that hard to do.

Rubbing the sweat from your palms, you pick up your brush and use this rush of panic as a way to speed up the process of your art work.

“Don’t forget about the deadline coming up!” your professor says five octaves higher while the class starts packing their things. “The students with the top three highest grades will get their work displayed at Hangaram Art Museum for the entirety of the summer!”

Your professors words were in the back of your mind as you frantically tried to pack your things to avoid Yoon and her group. It wasn’t until you heard a ‘Psst’ coming behind you that you snap out of your trance.

“Hey,” whispers a peer of yours. You never spoken to him, but the toothy inviting grin he is sending you is enough for you to know that he isn’t harmful. “I just wanted to tell you not to let those girls get into your head. I know how you feel—if you know what I mean.”

You send him a quizzical look. “Thanks?” So, they did gossip and everyone in this class knows. You might just throw up.

“Just keep your chin up and don’t let them see you in a moment of weakness and you’ll be alright.” he sends you a thumbs up as he walks away. You force a smile that goes away in a blink of an eye and sink into your seat.

What have you done? Why did you trust Yoon so much? You feel like such an idiot.

⊹ ✿・・───・・✦・・───・・✿

It was almost nearing midnight, Ji-yeong and Sae-byeok were in the living room. After a long day of working, Sae-byeok was trying to rest before doing it all over again tomorrow by watching mindless television until her roommate disrupts her to start pacing back and forth in front of her. Sae-byeok knew what she was getting worked up about. Ji-yeong clearly began to notice your lack of presence today.

“Where could she be this late? I’m sure libraries are closed by now…” she trails off, rubbing her chin in deep thought.

Sae-byeok’s mind goes back to earlier this morning. Your brief exchanges could’ve caused her to avoid coming to the apartment but your duffle bag is still here. You’d have to come back eventually.

“Sae-byeok, what did you do?”

Sae-byeok’s eyebrows knit in confusion. “Me?”

“I saw that look you just did. You look guilty. What did you do?”

“Nothing.” she responds coolly.

Ji-yeong purposely blocks the television screen and crosses her arms. “I’m not moving until you tell me the truth.”

“I don’t remember it was early in the morning.”

“Is it because she gave Cheol her crayons?”

Sae-byeok narrows her eyes. “How did you—?”

“He wouldn’t stop talking to me about it when I picked him up from school.” Ji-yeong rolls her eyes. “So, it is because of that? You got mad at her because of crayons, Sae-byeok, really?”

“It’s not just about the crayons.” she snips, sitting up straight from the couch. “Do you even know her personally? When was the last time you two actually talked before this?”

Ji-yeong doesn’t say anything.

“Thought so.” she scoffs. “I don’t trust her. Especially since you don’t want to tell me why she ran away in the first place.”

Ji-yeong purses her lips to digest her words. She shuffles to let Sae-byeok watch television again and sank next to her in the couch.

“I think she’s nice.” she grumbles like a child. Sae-byeok sends her a glare.

“You think, you don’t know.”

Ji-yeong shrugs. “I have no reason to think she’s a bad person.”

“People can change overnight. I’ve seen it happen and I’ve seen the consequences of being too trusting.”

Ji-yeon goes silent again. “No. This is something different—“

“Well, if you can just tell me why she’s even here in the first place then maybe I—“

“I can’t.”

“Then I don’t see the point in discussing this.” Sae-byeok sighs. She gets up from the comfort of the couch and stretches before grabbing her coat by the front door.

“Where are you going?” Ji-yeong frowns.

“To clear my head. I won’t be long.”

Ji-yeong doesn’t push any further, knowing this is something Sae-byeok occasionally does when her thoughts start to become too much. Maybe Ji-yeong went a little too far trying to defend your character because Sae-byeok rarely ever backs down from an argument so she really tested her limits.

Of course with Sae-byeok’s luck, she stumbles upon you sitting on the staircase, doodling something on your sketchbook underneath the fluorescent lights of the building.

Sae-byeok stares at your back trying to figure out if she should sneak back inside or talk to you. Maybe this is her chance to figure out what you’re really up to and prove Ji-yeong wrong.

“Why aren’t you inside?” she asks you after hesitating. You don’t response, you just throw her a glance before going back to drawing. Sae-byeok feels like this is some sort of payback for earlier.

Sae-byeok thought she was good at reading people’s body language and automatically pinpoint who they are and what their intentions are. It was something she had to learn to do in order to survive. But you are becoming an outlier.

“Ji-yeong is worried.”

“Well, just tell her I’m here.” you speak up. “I’ll be inside later. I just want to stop by a convenience store to get something to eat.”

“We have food inside.”

You turn to make eye contact with her again. For a brief moment, no words were spoken even as tension was rising.

“You got mad at me over oil pastels. Why would I go around touching your food?” you ask softly.

And for the first time, Sae-byeok is taken aback by you. There is another evanescent period of silence.

“Fine.” she says and starts walking down the staircase and further away from the building only to turn around to call out your name. You poke your head out from your sketchbook, raising an eyebrow at her. “Are you coming or what?”

You survey her figure blankly. With every interaction you have with Sae-byeok, she just keeps confusing you further. It feels like you are playing mental game of chess with her and you aren’t sure how to feel about that. You’re already overwhelmed with what happened today at school, you shouldn’t add someone like Sae-byeok to the mix.

Sae-byeok dug her hands deep inside the pockets of her jacket and taps her foot on the pavement, waiting for you impatiently. You sigh in defeat and close your sketchbook.

Just five more days and this’ll all just be a blurry memory, you think to yourself.

🏷️: @monroesturnns

[ki-kink]

Hi. I've been interested in the wereteenager theme and in particular in the transformation, but I have trouble imagining it. It seems to be gradual and has various phases. Is there a precise sequence in the physical changes? How do fat mass and muscle mass change in the various parts of the body? Is it painful? What thoughts or images form in your mind during the various phases? In short, if we were to shoot a scene from a film that represents it in its entirety, like the one in "An American Werewolf in London", how should we imagine it.

There is no photographic or even filmed documentation. What I have found is this protocol of a patient. Sorry, that's all I know….

22:00: Photo for the transformation protocol is taken. It's the usual feeling before a Friday night. Anxiety. Anticipation. In any case, it's a strange feeling.

06:00: The alarm clock wasn't actually supposed to ring for another 20 minutes. But like almost every Friday, I'm woken up by an incredible morning erection. Like almost every Friday morning, I also had a wet dream. I have to make up the bed.

06:30: To get rid of the erection, I masturbated in the bathroom. It didn't take long to ejaculate. The plan to measure the amount once didn't work out again as I spread my sperm uncontrollably around the bathroom. My testicles are covered in soft fuzz, as is my upper lip.

07:30: After showering, I had to masturbate a second time. I have the feeling that the ejaculation was stronger than the first one. Although I'm freshly showered, I already smell of sweat under my armpits again. My armpit hair is much bushier than usual.

09:30: The morning board at Teams was torture. I find it hard to concentrate. Especially when Luke is in a call. He looks incredibly hot. I have a steadfast erection and a wet precum stain in my pants.

12:00: The morning has been exhausting. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate. To be honest, I've been online most of the time. Watching football scores, TikTok, Instagram… My colleagues went out for a salad. I had such a craving for a burger. I went to a burger joint around the corner. There were three hot high school jocks sitting at a table. I asked if I could sit with them. The looks were a mixture of disgusted and amused.

2:00 p.m.: Had to jerk off, couldn't help myself. Fantasized about standing in the shower with the guys from the burger joint after a soccer training session. When I washed my hands afterwards, I looked in the mirror. Despite shaving this morning, there's already beard fuzz on my upper lip again. But apart from that, my reflection pisses me off. That's not me. I'm not an old man.

4:30 p.m.: End of work. At last. On the subway, I see that I'm wearing my worn-out Chucks. It's a good thing none of my colleagues saw. The sun will set in a good hour. I still have no idea what I'm going to do tonight. There's not much pocket money left. Shit, I have to piss. Good thing I have to go out next stop.

4:35 pm: Yo, I'm at the station loo, takin' a leak. Bro, my dude: Däng! This thing's rock hard, like a baseball bat, no joke! My whole body's shakin', but not 'cause it's chilly. More like when you're doin’ your thing on the QB's ass. Man, my bladder was about to explode. Piss everywhere—looked like I got sprayed. Had to swap my threads. Good thing we got football practice today, right?

4:42 pm: I'm at the sink in my jersey and shorts, checkin' my hair, feelin' fresh. Then this dude sneaks up behind me, crazy eyes and all. His hand's on my junk, and he’s old—like 30 or somethin'. Just goes “50”. Bro, 50 bucks for a blowie?! Jackpot! This night is gonna be lit!

02:00 am: Dude, I'm so lit right now! Almost forgot that damn control pic. But the team doc and coach need it, I think. Gotta hit up that skater dude I met at the club. Total lean machine, dude’s got stamina, and an epic cock! Let’s go!

[witchygagirlwrites]

I'm Yours

Jay Halstead x Reader

You have to go undercover and it nearly drives you and Jay apart

“I don’t like where this case is headed” Jay admitted, fingers tracing patterns on your bare skin in the darkened peace of his bedroom. You sighed, squirming closer to his touch. You didn’t want to talk about the case, you didn’t want to think about it because you didn’t like where it was headed either. “Me neither but that’s a worry for the morning Jay” you whispered and felt him turn towards you, lips trailing across your neck “I’m sorry baby I’m just worried”

You nodded “I know but that’s not going to help us either way. Keep your head clear. Whatever happens, we can handle it” he nodded, tugging you back against his chest “Let’s get some sleep” you smiled and pulled his arm tighter around you. The morning wouldn’t seem as dark after spending a few hours wrapped up in his arms.

You heard your phone ringing and felt blindly for it, slapping around on the nightstand until you found it. You answered and at first thought they’d gotten a wrong number until someone said “Vivian?” you sat straight up at the voice. You recognized it as one of your C.I.s Henry. 

If he was calling Vivian he was in a tight spot and needed a way out “Yeah?” you replied, slipping out of bed and finding your jeans as Jay sat up in the bed, watching you and trying to figure out what was going on from just hearing one side of the conversation. “Is there any way you can pick me up from seventh street babe?” babe? What the fuck angle was Henry playing? “Yeah honey, I’ll be there soon” you replied and hung up.

Jay raised an eyebrow “Honey?” you stared at the phone “One of my C.I.s he called Vivian babe. He’s in a tight spot and I don’t know what I’m walking into” he nodded and tossed the blanket off “Throw me my jeans. I’m backing you up” you nodded and picked his jeans up and tossed them to him “Thank you” he nodded “Kind of my job in more than one way to back you” and gave you a small smile.

_____________________

You pulled up to seventh street on the corner Henry had told you and spotted him standing with a couple guys. Jay was in the backseat of your truck, out of sight of anyone but by far close enough to have your back against anyone. “Three guys” you told him and he whispered “Leave the door open”

You hopped out of the truck and whistled “The fuck are you doing out at two in the morning anyways honey then you call me waking me up? Who the fuck are these idiots?” Henry grinned when he saw you and waved a hand towards you “Sorry fellas I gotta go my girl’s here but I’ll make the meeting on wednesday” one of the guys eyed you so you raised an eyebrow and put a hand on your hip “I don’t know your friends Hen but this one needs to keep his eyes to himself before I pluck em out” the guy chuckled “Oh I like her, feisty”

Henry put a hand on your arm “Come on baby” then looked back at the guy “Tell boss man I’ll see him on wednesday” then guided you towards your truck.

You walked around to the driver’s side and Henry got in the passenger side. You turned the truck around and hit the gas. When you got about two blocks away to make sure you weren’t followed you said “Ok Jay” and he sat up causing poor Henry to damn near go out of the closed window. “Holy shit!” you laughed “Henry you remember Jay Halstead” he nodded “Yeah yeah yeah. One of your partners” you nodded “We’ve also been dating for about seven months now”

He cut his eyes back at Jay who was practically glaring at him “Really? Congrats man” Jay didn’t change his expression any before asking “What were you in the middle of to have to call her for an extraction at two in the morning?”  Henry nodded and then looked at you “I hear you’re looking for Gordon, that guy who’s bringing in the heroin and modified guns?” 

“Yeah” you replied and he grinned “I got a meet on wednesday to start working for him with any luck I may be in good by the next big shipment in two weeks” you cut your eyes back at Jay “Call Voight, we need to get a plan rolling because this is the closest we’ve gotten on this”

Jay cut his eyes at Henry then nodded. When Jay pulled his phone out Henry grinned at you “Did i do good?” you smiled “Really good, like if this pans out you did work your case off and a cut of the pull good”

“No, not happening” Jay bit off and you crossed your arms,staring him down “Excuse me?” he shook his head “You’re not going under with him for two freaking weeks on the off chance he could be in good by the next shipment” 

You shook your head “I won’t be going under with him. Voight will set up a u.c. apartment for Vivian. Henry will just stop by enough to establish her as his girlfriend so me sniffing around Gordon’s businesses doesn’t raise any suspicions and with me telling him what to do and how to act he will be in good in two weeks time”

“And if he gets the wrong idea? Or tries to make a move on you?” you couldn’t help but laugh at the question “I’d kick his ass so fast his damn head would spin! I’ve been under as many times as you Jay, you’ve never doubted me before. Is it because you’re sleeping with me now?” 

“No, it’s because..” he trailed off because he almost said it was because he loved you. He hadn’t said that yet because he didn’t want to scare you off. He honestly figured you’d say it when you were ready then he could say it, even if holding it in was eating him alive. “It’s because I don’t trust Gordon’s people” he finished and you nodded “Well I’ll be fine. I promise you but Jay this man has got to get stopped. How many more kids do you want to see laid out because they’ve either OD’d or got shot? The youngest was fourteen baby, fourteen. I can’t sit here and know I could do something about it”

 He nodded “I know, I know just..promise me you won’t miss a check in?” you nodded “I know how to run an undercover Jay” he laughed lightly “I know baby, doesn’t mean I won’t be worrying like hell the next two weeks” you grinned “Don’t because if I’m worried about you worrying we’re both distracted and that’s not good on either of us” 

He pulled you into his arms “I’m gonna miss you being in my arms” you smiled “Don’t worry as soon as I’m back we’ll spend two days in bed” he grinned “Damn, are you back yet” before you pulled him down into a kiss “I’ll see you soon, ok?”

“So you and Halstead?” Henry asked, rolling his head to look at you from where he sat next to you on the ratty couch that was in your u.c. apartment. You grinned and shook your head “Not appropriate conversation” he laughed “He looked like he wanted to kill me the other night in your truck” you laughed “That’s just Jay’s resting face. I think it’s an army thing. He’s a sweetheart I swear”

He raised an eyebrow “To you, I bet. To me? I may not make it through this intact” you shook your head “He won’t hurt ya, I promise” he shook his head “You love him don’t you?” you felt your face warm “Shut up Phillips” he grinned “You do! Oh my little detective is all grown up!” you started laughing “I swear I will shoot you”

Your u.c. phone started ringing so you answered it, still laughing “Hello?” When Jay’s voice hit your ears your heart flipped “Hey Viv, everything good?” you smiled despite yourself “Yeah Ryan, all good” “Ok, talk soon” he hung up and Henry cackled “Oh you are so in love with him” so you shoved him off the couch.

__________________

Jay stared at the phone once he hung up. Here he was fucking miserable without you and worried something may happen to you but you sounded happy. He knew by your voice alone you’d been laughing when you answered the phone. What the hell was going on? He shook his head, it was nothing. It had to be nothing.

Jay was damn near pacing. He got the chance to meet you face to face for a check in, probably because he was getting on Voight’s nerves but also because Henry was supposed to be getting information on the shipment soon and the closer it got the more worried you were about talking over the phone just in case.

He spotted you walking towards him and felt a smile try to slip onto his face but had to bite it back, Ryan was supposed to be Vivian’s cousin. That was the u.c. cover so he could call you and see you any. He couldn’t very well be grinning like an idiot in love.

You jogged across the street then up to the coffee stand where he was. You ordered a coffee and paid for it before finally facing him. He didn’t mind Vivian’s look, she wore thick eyeliner with dark makeup. It suited you like everything did but he liked your usual look better. “Hey Viv” he greeted and you smiled “Hey Ry” you tilted your head “Take a walk? Henry won’t be off for a while” he nodded “Lead the way”

He followed you across the street and through the park. When you got to the very end of a route you finally stopped and he saw your shoulders sag “Ok, the shipment is gonna be here in two days time” he nodded “Henry got in?” you grinned “Of course, I taught him everything I know” 

“Bet he enjoyed that” he blurted without thinking and saw your eyes widen “What?” he shook his head “Nothing” you looked around “No, tell me” he shrugged “You were laughing and sounded like you were enjoying yourself the last few times we talked” “What are you accusing me of?” you asked, jaw set hard. He could barely meet your eyes as he said “You wouldn’t be the first person who’s feelings got blurred while under, hell Al has a kid”

You shook your head slowly “I can’t believe you. I’m doing my job Jay! Did you forget that? You know what? Forget it. Tell Kim that Francine is now Vivian’s contact. I’m not doing this. We’ll talk when this case is done” you started to walk off but stopped to look back at him “I was going to tell you once I got off this case but guess what? I’m in love with you Jay so there ya go, feel free to accuse me of fucking my informant again. I’ll see ya at the bust”

You turned and jogged off. He knew he couldn’t call after you or risk going after you in danger of blowing your cover. You loved him. You just told him you were in love with him after he basically accused you of cheating on him while undercover now he wouldn’t see you again until the bust. What the hell had he just done?

Kim met you early to drop you a com and vests for you and Henry. The plan was for the two of you to go in and confirm Gordon, the drugs and guns then the unit would move in. 

You helped Henry to secure his vest then adjust his shirt and jacket so you couldn’t tell it was there. He ran a hand down his chest then looked up at you “Will this actually stop a bullet?” you shrugged “Depends on the caliber and ranger but it’s better than bare skin” he nodded “You’ve been a ray sunshine” you glared at him “I’ve got a gun, we can test it”

He shook his head “Never mind” and you nodded “I thought so”

_______________

Jay’s hands moved across his gear, muscle memory putting everything in place. He would see you within an hour. Everything would be ok. Everything would have to be ok. He would apologize and it would be ok.Wouldn't it?

You stood next to Henry as the trucks were unloaded. Ronald Gordon stood next to them, smiling. “Mr Phillips, you’ve been an extraordinary employee since your hire” he told Henry who smiled “Thank you Mr Gordon” then he turned his eyes to you “And Ms Evans, you are a beauty indeed” you faked a smile “Yeah,thanks” and heard Voight’s voice over the coms come on sweetheart tow the line until we see what we need to 

Luckily Gordon found your attitude amusing because he clapped his hands “Very well, let's get a move on”  You watched as the crates started to get the tops popped off one by one. Guns filled some, drugs other. Coming in You reached out for Henry’s shoulder, ready to shove him behind you when hell started.

You heard the door of the warehouse get breached and Gordon’s eyes flew to you and Henry “Cpd asshole” you smirked and he shook his head “You stupid little bitch” He raised his gun at you about the time you heard Jay’s voice “DROP IT”

Everything slowed down as two shots were fired at once. Gordon aiming one at your mid chest while Jay aimed one square between his eyes.  Both of your bodies hit the floor at the same time. Henry went to his knees at your side, his eyes widening “There’s blood! There’s not supposed to be blood!” you heard Jay “MOVE”

________________________

No no no no. This couldn’t be happening. Jay watched your body drop, hard. Henry moved to check on you and he saw blood streaking the other man’s hands “There’s blood, there’s not supposed to be blood” he shoved him rather harshly out of the way “MOVE!”

He got to your side and you managed a smile when you saw it was him “Hey” his hands moved across your shirt “Baby please tell me you got a vest on” he ripped your shirt down the middle not bothering to pull it off of you. The white vest had a hole, right in your lower abdomen, a dark red stain spreading “SHIT, VOIGHT! WE NEED AN AMBO! NOW!”

He used your shirt to hold pressure to your side “Stay awake baby! Stay awake” you hissed through your teeth when he pushed down “That fucking hurts Jay” he laughed lightly “Good, get pissed. Just keep those eyes on me!” you glared at him “You’re an asshole” he nodded “Yeah, I am.Keep calling me an asshole”

When you were loaded into the ambulance they wouldn’t let Jay in with you. Hailey offered to take him to med so he let her drive him. He stormed into med, knowing you’d be in trauma one. He headed that way but Will stopped him at the door “Go to the waiting room”

“What?” he still had your blood on his hands and Will was trying to keep him from you? “Let us get her stabilized first” Will explained and he felt the fight leave him “How bad is it?” Will shook his head “I don’t know. We have to see”

After about an hour Will finally came and found him. “Jay” he turned to see his brother standing at the edge of the waiting room. “Is she ok?” he nodded “She’s fine. The bullet was through and through. We had to ensure no organs were touched. She was lucky. She has some stitches, internally and externally. She’ll be benched for a few weeks but beyond that she’s fine”

“Can I see her?” Will shook his head “She’s awake and alert but she doesn’t want to see you” Jay shook his head, tears springing to his eyes “Why not?” Will shrugged “She asked if I’d take her home tomorrow when she’s discharged” Jay shook his head “Fuck you, I’m seeing her”

Will followed him and caught him just outside of your room “Jay! Don’t do this to her” “Do what? Want to see the woman I love after she caught a bullet? I had to scrub her blood off my hands Will. I need to see her, just see her”

He froze when he heard your voice holler “SHUT UP AND COME IN”

_______________________

You could hear voices getting closer to your room and when they were outside the door you could clearly hear Jay and Will arguing. You leaned up with a hand pressed over your stitches “SHUT UP AND COME IN” you winced slightly from the pull then laid back against the pillows.

Both Halsteads walked in looking like whipped puppies. “He wants to see you” Will explained and Jay glared at him before saying “Yeah he does” you waved a hand “Well see? Alive” 

“Baby please, just hear me out” Jay started and you shook your head “About what? How you didn’t trust me? What if I would’ve died Jay? How would it have felt knowing the last thing you really said to me was accusing me of cheating on you while the last thing I really said to you was that I love you?”

“I thought I lost you baby” his voice was damn near a whisper and you saw tears in his eyes. You turned your head to look away and heard Will excuse himself. You took a deep breath because you knew crying would hurt before turning to face Jay. “I would never cheat on you” 

He nodded “I know that” you scoffed “You have a funny way of showing it!” He took a step towards the bed and tears started flowing down your face “I missed you so fucking much the last two weeks. I just wanted to be with you, then I get fucking shot. I love you Jay and I need you to trust in that because I can handle getting shot a hundred times over before I could ever handle that look in your eyes pointed at me again”

“Baby I love you so damn much and I am so sorry” he whispered and your eyes flew up to his “You mean it? You’re not just saying it?” he shook his head “Why do you think I went so damn crazy? I was a jackass, I should’ve trusted you and I will never make that mistake again, can I hold you, please?” you nodded “Please”

He moved to the side of the bed you weren’t hurt on and slipped in next to you, wrapping his arms around you. You curled up on his chest and cut your eyes up at him “I love you Jay” he smiled “I love you too” he brushed a gentle kiss against your lips and you groaned lightly “It’s gonna be a bitch not being able to have sex while I heal” he shook his head with a laugh “You were just pissed at me a few seconds ago” you grinned “You never stopped being gorgeous even when you pissed me off”

He shook his head “You are an insane, weird woman” you nodded “But I’m yours” he smiled “Damn right and I’m your stubborn asshole” you grinned “I love you anyways”

[heavensbeehall]

Letter from Donald Sutherland to director Gary Ross, after reading the script for "The Hunger Games"

Dear Gary Ross:  Power. That's what this is about? Yes? Power and the forces that are manipulated by the powerful men and bureaucracies trying to maintain control and possession of that power?  Power perpetrates war and oppression to maintain itself until it finally topples over with the bureaucratic weight of itself and sinks into the pages of history (except in Texas), leaving lessons that need to be learned unlearned.   Power corrupts, and, in many cases, absolute power makes you really horny. Clinton, Chirac, Mao, Mitterrand.  Not so, I think, with Coriolanus Snow. His obsession, his passion, is his rose garden. There's a rose named Sterling Silver that's lilac in colour with the most extraordinarily powerful fragrance — incredibly beautiful — I loved it in the seventies when it first appeared. They've made a lot of offshoots of it since then.   I didn't want to write to you until I'd read the trilogy and now I have so: roses are of great importance. And Coriolanus's eyes. And his smile. Those three elements are vibrant and vital in Snow. Everything else is, by and large, perfectly still and ruthlessly contained. What delight she [Katniss] gives him. He knows her so perfectly. Nothing, absolutely nothing, surprises him. He sees and understands everything. He was, quite probably, a brilliant man who's succumbed to the siren song of power.  How will you dramatize the interior narrative running in Katniss's head that describes and consistently updates her relationship with the President who is ubiquitous in her mind? With omniscient calm he knows her perfectly. She knows he does and she knows that he will go to any necessary end to maintain his power because she knows that he believes that she's a real threat to his fragile hold on his control of that power. She's more dangerous than Joan of Arc.  Her interior dialogue/monologue defines Snow. It's that old theatrical turnip: you can't 'play' a king, you need everybody else on stage saying to each other, and therefore to the audience, stuff like "There goes the King, isn't he a piece of work, how evil, how lovely, how benevolent, how cruel, how brilliant he is!" The idea of him, the definition of him, the audience's perception of him, is primarily instilled by the observations of others and once that idea is set, the audience's view of the character is pretty much unyielding. And in Snow's case, that definition, of course, comes from Katniss.  Evil looks like our understanding of the history of the men we're looking at. It's not what we see: it's what we've been led to believe. Simple as that. Look at the face of Ted Bundy before you knew what he did and after you knew.   Snow doesn't look evil to the people in Panem's Capitol. Bundy didn't look evil to those girls. My wife and I were driving through Colorado when he escaped from jail there. The car radio's warning was constant. 'Don't pick up any young men. The escapee looks like the nicest young man imaginable'. Snow's evil shows up in the form of the complacently confident threat that's ever-present in his eyes. His resolute stillness. Have you seen a film I did years ago? 'The Eye of the Needle'. That fellow had some of what I'm looking for. The woman who lived up the street from us in Brentwood came over to ask my wife a question when my wife was dropping the kids off at school. This woman and her husband had seen that movie the night before and what she wanted to know was how my wife could live with anyone who could play such an evil man. It made for an amusing dinner or two but part of my wife's still wondering. I'd love to speak with you whenever you have a chance so I can be on the same page with you. They all end up the same way. Welcome to Florida, have a nice day!

Source

Been thinking about this a lot, mostly in regards to his notions on power.

But it's also quiet cool that he basically predicted the plot of TBOSAS before it came out. Snow's obsessive tendencies. The way he thinks love makes him weak. How he sees Katniss as like himself.

[hptriadfest]

CLAIMING FOR HP TRIAD FEST 2024/2025 IS NOW OFFICIALLY OPEN!!

The moment we've all been patiently waiting for is finally here! The nearly three hundred prompts we've collected through prompting are open for claiming!

Claiming is open from JANUARY 20TH — MARCH 20TH.

✨THE PROMPT LIST✨ (to browse the prompts)

✨THE CLAIMING FORM✨ (to claim your top 3)

Before we move onto the FAQs or you run off to our claiming form to start making your fan work as soon as possible, make sure that you're familiar with the rules of this fest, especially with what constitutes a triad, and our 17+ characters and Dead Dove policies. Thank you!

Some claiming FAQs/need to knows (below the cut):

How do I claim?

The claiming process is super simple: First, go to the prompt list and find 3 prompts you like. You can choose from both batches of prompts - the new ones and the old ones - they're all up for the picking. You need to pick 3 prompts because each prompt can only be picked once for Art and once for Writing. Make sure your 3 prompts are not claimed for your chosen medium. After you have chosen your prompts, go to the claiming form and fill out the information. The number of the prompt is in the first column of the google sheet (not the row number!). Select which medium you want to create in; you can claim a prompt for Art or Writing or both. When all your information is filled in, submit the form and wait patiently for a confirmation email from us!

How many prompts can I claim?

You can claim one prompt at a time. This means that you can claim additional prompts only after you finished and posted your first work. When that's done, inform the mods about your submission and claim a new prompt. Aside from this, there are no limits! You can repeat the process as many times as you want until the claiming closes on March 20th.

How do I know which prompt I got?

Once you finish filling out the claiming form and submit it, you will receive an email letting you know that your claim has been received. This email will also have the information about which of your three chosen prompts were given to you - as claims work on a first come-first serve basis - and then when you have this information you can begin your working on your fanwork!

How do I self-prompt?

The first step is to browse the prompt list to check the prompt list that your idea hasn’t been created as a prompt yet - if it has, great, you can claim that prompt normally! If this is not the case, though, simply select the self-claim option and then ž fill in the form with your original prompt!

When are the fanworks due?

April 20th!

What if I have more questions or concerns?

You can send us an ask here on Tumblr, shoot us an email at hptriadfest@gmail.com OR contact the mods on Discord. We'll do our best to help you out!

As a reminder, claiming is open for two months - until March 20th 2025, so you have plenty of time to pick your prompt and get those creative juices flowing!

We wish you loads of inspiration and if you need some people to chat with while you get all your ideas straightened up: join our Discord! See you there and happy creating season! And good luck!

✨PROMPT LIST✨

✨CLAIMING FORM✨

HP Triad Fest is an anonymous fest celebrating triads — romantic relationships between three equal parties of any gender, binary and sexuality — within the Harry Potter universe by inviting participants to create prompt-based fanworks centred around them! It's hosted on Archive of Our Own and supported via Tumblr and Discord.

[pizza-soup]

Hey! Just wanted to do an update for the new year!

Sooo, what have I been up to? A lot actually!

First off, I'd like to introduce a new member to my household, her name is Lucky, and I found her on an urbex trip last year as a tiny thing, and looked how gorgeous she is as an adult!

Those markings are pretty neat, huh? She's looks just like a Maneki Neko, all that's missing is a red ribbon and koban coin. She has such a sweet, affectionate personality, she is surprisingly very open to strangers giving her attention, and she loves water! Yeah, she plays in water! She has zero fear of it and likes playing with the sink faucet or laying on my shoulders when I soaking in the bath. I think it stems from me taking her out to the garden with me in the summer when I was watering the plants, the puddles cooled her off.

Speaking of gardening, I have two new trees. Ginkgos! My great aunt had one in her front yard, these are the babies. Since it's way too cold to plant them directly into the ground, they're currently in pots. I want them to grow just a bit larger before transplanting them.

And yes, that's Sol posing by the new trees! Look how handsome he is now! I'm glad he and his sister took in Lucky as an honorable sibling, I think she'd be very lonely otherwise. Stella has also grown up to be beautiful, and likes sharing her bed with Lucky. Orion doesn't like her though. Lol but he tolerates her so long as she doesn't get too close.

My health is better, thankfully. While I think I'll always have hypotension now, my doctor and I found a setup that works to keep it at bay. I have to watch my activity level and learn to rest properly (exercise can cause BP to drop fast), and stay hydrated with electrolytes daily. I have to set reminders though, since Im so bad at remembering. So far I haven't had any relapses for 7 months. I've also oddly lost a lot of weight, I thought it was suspicious, but my doctor said I'm actually at my BMI and the weight loss was gradual. My records show it was within a normal time range. Idk it felt so sudden to ME, but maybe I didn't notice it until recently. Eh. My sense of time isn't the best. Whatever the case, I was told to keep doing whatever I'm doing.

Work is... just as weird as always! Lol to the point it's kind of not weird for me anymore, I've gotten used to the strangeness of it. My brother however never got used to it. He actually quit working for the labs, not because it scared him off but because he finally got his major finished and he is working in an observatory down south. I'm proud of him! Space has always been a big interest for him, and the space science here in NM is growing!

As for creating, I've been busy writing two fanfics on Ao3. One is a Pokemon story, Come What May, and another is an alternate take on the classic Disney film, The Little Mermaid, called Candle on the Water. They're pretty long, my Pokemon fic is currently topping 20 chapters! I'd really appreciate if more people read them. Give em a little love. It's not the best work ever, but I'm kinda proud of them. They were written when I was struggling with a lot of self doubt and mild Imposter Syndrome. I'm working on being more gentle to myself and not letting perfectionism sabotage me or stop me from creating, and I'm kinda seeing that effort pay off bit by bit.

I've also been doing some song covers. I'm not sure if I'm confident in sharing those yet, but I've gotten a lot of encouragement from my family and my brother's friend who has been letting me borrow his music studio for recording sessions. Maybe I'll post one song if it's requested. I have three covers so far and they're all Evanescence. XD

Its been a very peaceful time for me, I got a raise last November and it's been nice. I've been treating myself to stationery and home decor. I splurged a bit and got two gaming devices from Anbernic, and have been modding my 3DSXL. Because screw gaming companies and their paywalling/microtransactions. It's time we start actually owning our games again, including media like music and movies.

I think this year is going to focus on retro media for me. CDs, DVDs, cassettes and vinyls. I've been rediscovering my collection in the garage and learning to maintain/fix my devices. Because while I do enjoy my modern media, I like the thought of having offline backups should I not have access to it later.

And my old school stuff takes me back to my summer days in school when I couldn't wait to get home to play my Gameboy while listening to my CDs, reading comics, or doodle and write short stories in my notebooks, or make zines with my friends. That might be something to revisit this summer.

I hope everything has been going well for you all, and if not, I hope it will soon. I may just return to this year, but probably gradually. I missed you all, and I miss sharing bits of my life here with you.

Take care! 💕

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all! This question came up when I had family visiting, and I am genuinely unsure of how common this is

[todayisafridaynight]

old man yaoi comm on yaoi day... woAgh.....

Commission Info

[loumauve]

Sable pic spam bc I'm ridiculously attached to this buggy game

[moe-broey]

Idk if I'm gonna be able to articulate this on the fly like first thing in the morning, but. I think my ENTIRE body of work is This: Examining how family ties, bonds or lack thereof, the good and bad AND ugly, seep into every facet of who we are and how we come to interact with others. How sometimes, a family tie (or again, a Lack of one), will sometimes bleed into how you act and treat specific people. Will bleed into how you CONNECT with those people (or, will be the very reason you fail to do so).

HOWEVER. HOWEVER. THERE IS A DELICATE LINE. A BALANCING ACT. You CANNOT just simply attribute fanon flavored ideas of found family to such characters. That's too simple, and sometimes, is a complete disservice to the specific character you're working with. I am once again bringing up Chilchuck. YES, him being a dad Absolutely seeps into how he treats his party. But if you call him the party's dad, you're Insane. Do you know ANYTHING ABOUT THAT MAN???? He would prefer you didn't. But I digress. He strikes a fascinating balance, between having The Qualities and ESPECIALLY expressing his care for his party in a Really Specific divorced (separated.) father of three fashion, but that does Not make him a "dad friend". He's a professional. He's on business. He's going home at the end of the day, and at the end of this adventure he's thinking of setting up a shop. I wanted to keep this more vague and broad but like. The Chilchuck example REALLY DOES perfectly articulate What I'm trying to get at, here. He's the perfect encapsulation of How his family shapes him, how that bleeds into his relationships with others, vs Who he is as a person.

How we were raised, our family ties, whether you adhere to it or you've fallen FAR from the tree -- you still fell from that stupid fucking tree. It's in your blood. Literally. It gave you shape, whether you liked it or not. And sometimes some things just set off weird domino effects, that also affect us irrevocably forever.

WHICH IS. TO SAY. I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about. I'm always trying to figure that out. Found family is/can be real, you're not strictly bound by blood if you don't wanna be. BUT. The bullshit I'm constantly on, is trying to figure out how to balance all that without slotting everyone into reductive roles. I'm gay and I seek to destroy the nuclear family. Not attempt to recreate nuclear family 2.0. You CAN reconstruct What Family Is/Means from the ground up, but you have to accept that things are going to get Weird. Because you're Queer. You are fundamentally incompatible with the status quo and normalcy, the solution is NOT assimilation and palatability, the solution is to just. Get weirder. And be fluent in canon. Okay. I love you

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

Honestly though, this (what Ashe is pointing out) is exactly why I don't think GW could possibly end well. There's no "talking it over" after all the bloodshed (especially bloodshed started by them, and especially bloodshed started by them that didn't have to happen).

The way the narration leaves it "open" too at the end of GW just comes across as "it failed". It feels like... a kind of pointless story?

And I know some people might think that since Dimitri personally isn't as deeply affected by losing Matthias and so might be willing, that's still no good if his people and closest allies aren't. Rodrigue and Sylvain wouldn't be so forgiving, and I do think Dimitri would follow suit because that's his father (Rodrigue)'s closest friend and one of his own closest friends' father.

Add that to the fact that they have Sreng to deal with still (and I imagine sooner or Sylvain would figure out that Leicester had a hand in provoking Sreng to attack Faerghus) on top of losing Matthias and I imagine all the stress and aggravation wouldn't bode well for Leicester as far as Claude's thinking of things working out goes.

I just really can't see where GW goes afterward that would be "good" or works in Claude's favor at all. Maybe that was the intention and it was meant to be a route with a completely tragic ending, but apparently there are players who think it would end well and whatnot and I just can't see that happening (both from Faerghus' end and from Adrestia's end, the latter of which Claude discussed within GW itself).

If their intention was for a totally tragic ending, like yeah, I can see that... but as always the writing muddies the waters to make it sound good while something bad is happening. It keeps trying to have a positive spin on bad things as if they're just afraid to commit to a fully bad ending.

[despair-tea]

that book was pretty good, yea. glad I came back around and finished it.

the (part 1 - end) at the end is so funny - you mean after they resolved all the problems in the story, that's just the beginning? The beginning of the rest of their lives? lmao

[front-facing-pokemon]