#but im still mad about what happened so like
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Long ass rant and open talk about the subject
Yep yep yep . It just harm full eather youre telling someone thet there trama isnt valid bc its not the same thing you whent through or youre telling someone not to talk about theres becuse its harder to listen to. All trama is vallied,no one can tell you its stupid or not worth crying about. Sometimes the trama is more saver but thats not a medal and dusent make it more inportent then the less savere. Tragady is tragady and healing looks different for everyone. I do think its okay to talk about more and less savere tho bc trama is a spectrum and its importent fir people to know thet just becuse its more savere dusent mean they cant ir shouldent talk about it, i have the same urge to protect people from my trama bc well its a ugly thing but its still a thing that needs to be held and i feel like if ppl get there more savere storys out it could help ppl with less savere feel less like a freck and alone an show them that there not a crybaby . I feel like ppl with less savere. Trama are told not to talk about it bc no one cares or becuse everyone gose threw it or what ever bull shit resion and i feel like they should gwt a chance to speek they have just as mutch right to there story as anyone else. For me my less savere trama is that i was in a non fatle car accsadent only the car was damiged but it still really scared me and i think about it every time i get in a car now . Sometimes what couldove happend is scarryer then what did ant thats okay. And people with more suvere trama need to acknolige there not bad people for having bad things happen to them and for talking about it ,i remimber talking to some people about things that have happend in owr lives and kinda tramma bounding so i finnaly spoke up about some stuff and every one got uncomefterbull and mad at me tellinv me i was being mean and toxic bc of the trama i shared they vewed it as trying to commpet when i was trying to connect and i feel like thats what stops a lot of people from shareing there hever stuff even in open and welcoming places where its sapose to be incuriged where youre sapose to talk about it but then you do and suddenly you dont fit into there orepland box of "exceptabul to talk about tramma" qhitch isent fair all tramma is valid be it youre parents getting a devorse even tho common is a nasty and hart braking as well as life changing thing , or watching a loved one die in hoapise agin common but still harrowing or being abused heavaly growing up ,haveing less then outhers idk why people dont talk about it ( probly bc of the hole scoshial construct arond being gratefull)but being poor is tramatizeing not just bc of food lack but as well as seeing outher kid with what you want seeing all these things you want but can never have and seeing people with those things be so careless with them becuse they can just get anouther its hard to grow up poor not just bc of food and safty but becuse youre told by youre peers therw acctions or bulliying that becuse you get youre close from somewhere else or dont have the things they have or have poor hiygean bc youre famaly couldent pay the water bill ,youre told youre lesser then and should be ashaned whitch is a harsh thing to heare and can change someone for ever . Of corse more hard to talk about topics like TW
Sa ,molestashion ,phisical ,emotcinal abuse neglect ,life threataning events ,witnessing the phisical abbuse of famaly mimbers,losseng fammaly due to violince or medical issuse, involintary mental hispital stays ( irronicly) exctram iscolatshion and so mutch more
Of corse those are hard to talk about and can change youre numerological pathways or leave you emotshinoly stunted these are the tramas im refuring to when i say more savere i dont mean it as a way of saying all else are invaled when compaird i just mean they are shuned in a different way and offten chose alot of miental disorders less ssavere trammas like scoshiol and economic like TW
Devorce,absent parents ,lack of wants ,non phisicoly aggresive bullying, moveing homes abruptly or ingeneral, loss of famaly member due to old age,and so mutch more
What i think hammers in the point of commoarision being useless is i had a hard time fully desiforing the difference between savere and less saver tramma becuse well there s so minny gray areas and yah yah you can put it as "more savere trama leads to nurolojical and mental helth isuse" and "less savere tramma leads to scoshiol and familliol isuse " or what have you but its not that cut in dry like what do you mean scoshiol issuse ?? Luke they have anxiety now. Whell gess what taht means it gave them nerolajicol isues and mental helth isuse. Okay so they have trust isuse bc there parents lied to them alot ? Whell now there scoshiol structure is imbalinced and a hole outher slew of things come from it . Okay okay they have an absent father so do soo minny outhers what so bad and tramatizing about that ? Well now they dont have a trust worthy male figure in there life whitch can leed to being scared or general anxiety about men ,wemon (heare in the us ,like a comon american idk about outher places besides the midal eayst whitch i have no right to talk about bc of the sheer amout of propaganda im not a reliabule narrarator i hold no hate just ingnorince and i dont wanna be rude or assume hurtfull things due to sheer ingnerince) anyway get paid mire so they probly grew up poor with a single mouther working multibule jods becuse minamum wage cant even keep one persion happy and well taken care of so there mouthers probly streesed and stress makes people earatubule and lash out so shes probly bone or said some hurtull things so now they may have an absent father and destent mouther and maby even one wuth a drug problum . Any waylong ass exscampule but like yall get what im saying ,thaings come with so minny unmeserabule and unknown layers to compair tramma is to compair the ocean to the milky way, one feels more knowabule then the outher but bouth are so vast and all incompasing and neather are fully known or may ever be so not only is it harmuff is just plain imposabule excpeshaly becuse ower mental helth science is liemeted and beond sciense its all verry persinal and just .. Dont do it ,i bib when i was younger becuse well 1 i didnt understand what i was doing i thought the outher persion had an ojectivly better. Life them me bc little kid logic and 2 im not shure why but i felt like if i whent trew "worse" it would make me feel better like yah shure this is all awfill and will hauant me for a verry long time and ill continue to struggle with it BUT. If its worse it was real and im not a lier and its okay to cry about it. Useig trama as a tool to justafie being trammatized is not the way to go yall. I tight was a verry stupid thing to do and i regrett it deeply bu tight i cant change that. Ik outheres have done it aswell and i promise it dusent make you a bad persion ,we've all lernd and grown no need to stuff youre self in a shadow thats to small.trh not to have shame for it . Hold youre youngerselfs hand and walk them threw what youve lernd let youre self know its okay ,you are valid ,youre not a spoild brat for crying you wher a kid and stil lol may be one even if only on the inside . No worrys hun it will be okay and if not well well just have to pick are self back up agin and find the curige to start over . Atlest this time we know a little bit about what were doing and have a idea of how to get there. No one should be left behind, its importent to speek up for are selves and outhers but keep youre tone in check don tight wanna yell over anyone. Thats rude little love :]]
Sometimes im jellus of my younger sibblings becuse they have it eayser then me ( with in the home) and then i remiember all the work it took to get us heare and im sooo proud it ends with me ,the chain of generatshinal abuse ebds with me im the last The last one to purge and get rid ofandwork threw all of it its so cathartic and hartbraking but this is it i do it for them the younger and the older my anscesters and my grandchilderen its for them i am the last and its sutch a horrowing and paunfull honor im proud of my names and my anscesters im soo proud of them the more i kurn the more im gratefull, im a 6th genneratshion immogrent from france my fammaly was on the run from the cathlic church they refused to fall in line they where artest shoe makers hat makers. They worked with silver they use to be royals they where linched prosacuted as heratics some old tortcher devises where used and i think i love them for. It i love that they refuse to hold there toung and to biw there head i love that there artist like me and plenty of my liveing famaly,its nice knoweing i have a reble spark from them that im not alone in my desiers and im still so mutch like them even centures from the time they walked with the birds . I just hate i only know them by the word used to try and hurt them
The huginots :] ofc they decided to reclam it and stuff but still i know so little about them but alot as well my grunchle has picturse of documents of my grate grate grand paw and his wife requesting safty in a church both in amar INI can English and frinch ik that the fammaly was on the run long befor then i also know that i have indginus cusions whitch id love to meet i dont kniw them but i can feel it in a wierd way. Its odd and hard to talk about but i can feel it bouth and all of them i can feel my frinch ancestors as well as my indeganos and irish ones. Im verry pail tho and theres always a wierd shame that comes with it. Im the product of there downfall and it hurts . ANYWAYYY
Haha its okay its alll good. Im the last and its awsome to know no one else will suffer like this
Someone drowning in 6 feet of water is as equally dead as a person drowning in 20 feet of water.
Please stop comparing trauma and making it a challenge. It’s trauma. Not a competition or medal.
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baby brother!Charlie getting wood late at night and coming to wake you up for help because hes just so horny for you its pathetic and he doesnt know what else to do with himself
oh how i love you brother!Charlie
im french kissing your brain pookie <3
hey, ignore that it's mid-november, here's a halloween post
genderfucked reader, im indecisive
cw: somno, incest (WAHOO), dubcon but everyone's fine with everything, of course one of my first works back is part of the sibcon charlie au (as far as i know, created by @moistcl1tikal-ao3 )
he couldnt stop looking at you all night, your cute little whore-for-halloween costume hugging you just perfectly. but he had to save those thoughts and memories for later!
except later did not happen, he crashed as soon as he laid down on his bed after the parties and events you dragged him to so you could show off your cute, nerdy lil bro
so, naturally, he woke up about 2 hours later with the hardest boner of his life the month. all because he kept dreaming of getting to touch you under your booty shorts
poor boy was still too tired to wanna deal with it though! so he tried to go back to sleep, deal with it in the morning, but he couldnt get comfy or stop thinking about your head between his legs
plan a failed, time for plan b: choke the chicken
he tried so hard, looked up all his favorite pornos, his favorite pictures of you, a pair of stolen panties, he pulled out all the stops :/ and it just made him ache and throb more for you
so final plan, the riskiest plan, wake you up and beg on his goddamn knees that you aren't too grumpy
he knew you werent the nicest person ever when you got woken up, especially when somewhat hungover, so he tread with caution
even got a towel, pillow, snack, and bottle of water for you :(
busts out every petname in the book when he tries to shake you awake
"sissy.. sis? brother?? dearest sibling??? bubba???? 🤨 you alive motherfucker???" the shaking picked up speed and intensity, no longer worried about you being mad, just half convinced you passed away in your sleep
"geddafuqouddaherecharlee" you mutter, smacking him away but still rolling over for him to join you, thinking he had a nightmare or something
charlie slid into bed behind you, careful to not make any sudden moves, worried he'd say or do the wrong thing and ruin his chances of getting some tonight
he talked to you sweetly, gently, with purpose, he was making amazing points
"i dunno if i'm allowed to ask or if only you get to initiate but i'll do all your chores for a month if you help me out here..."
he waited
nothing happened
you were out COLD
so time for his impromptu new final plan: beg for forgiveness not permission. he tries to rationalize it! you've never rejected his advances before, you're insatiable, this is probably something your into! maybe just being in your bed and surrounded by the smell of you can help him get there
so he stole some lube from your bedside table
it was so absurdly cold that he of course made a very manly sound (screamed like a mouse would) and jumped a bit, enough to wake you up again
so you turn to charlie, terrified because what the fuck was your little brother possibly experiencing to shatter everyone's eardrums at 2:33am
and you catch him, cock in one hand, other hand covering his mouth to avoid making more noise, but you already caught him slick-handed. and if you weren't so exhausted you would absolutely jump his bones in an instant, but the hangover was already kicking in so while seeing your younger brother trying to jerk off to you in your own bed would usually light a bonfire in your gut, this was more like a backyard fire pit sized one
so, being the amazing older sibling you are, you chuckle and coo at him, inching your hand towards the one on his cock
"awww my poor baby brother cant get off without me?" you fake a pout as your hand finds its way to cupping his balls, massaging gently
"pleasepleaseplease, need you so bad, needed you-needed you all night" he begs and involuntarily bucks his hips into your hand, eyes glued shut and hands fisted in your sheets, overcome with pleasure
he doesn't see or i guess hear or feel you shifting to be closer to his dick, or he just doesn't acknowledge it
but he sure notices when you grab the base and flick your tongue over the tip
"you're too cute" is the last thing he hears before being overrun by pure ecstasy as he finally cums when you take him fully down your throat, thank yous pouring out of his pink, bitten lips
his hands fly to hold your head in place, you let him until you start gagging
he lets go and starts profusely apologizing and thanking you
"you can make it up to me if you want.." you say seductively as you lay on your back and spread your knees just enough to get the point across
@th3-circus @xoxoave @jschladderall @manticore-fangs
im not dead which is shocking to everyone im pretty sure.. anyway here ya go <3
#slimecicle x reader#slmccl x reader#slimecicle headcanons#slmccl headcanons#slimecicle hcs#slmccl hcs#charlie slimecicle smut#charlie slimecicle x reader#charlie slimecicle hcs#mine mine mine#Slimecicle smut#slmccl smut#!nc3st
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Denmark and Sweden siblings for the sibling meme?
If you've already answered that, then please use this as a chance to talk about the whole family! It seems like Norway is another sibling in the family. What are the siblings' relationships to each other? How many siblings are there in all, who are they, and what is their age order? What is the relationship between them and their parents like?
oh my god SO happily!
here is den and swe, it got really long but im going to post some general family headcanons separately, i will always take a chance to yell about my fave boys. thank you for asking bro! here is some of the dysfunctional world's worst brothers!
who hogs the game consoles?
sweden, bc den doesnt have enough attention span to keep playing too long and he ragequits if swe beats him, which he almost always does bc swe is largely unbeatable at videogames. den usually wins at pool though which is a sore spot for swe. they once spent half an hour on one of those arcade basketball games because neither would admit defeat.
who usually causes the fights?
lmao oh boy. they both cause fights just by being in the same room. classic sibling energy, i hc den as the eldest and swe as the youngest so their relationship is very volatile and very based on beating the shit out of each other. den will wind swe up until he loses it and swe will be quietly sneakily aggravating so den looks completely unreasonable when he gets mad. swe loves getting den into trouble and then skating on by looking innocent.
who steals the others' clothes?
den will steal socks, underwear, tshirts and coats off swe. swe doesnt like wearing other people's clothes and especially not den's because theyre always so wrinkled.
who eats all the good snacks before the other can get any?
to repeat: sweden is the youngest child and he is the snack eater. he always says he's going to replace it but he never does. can you tell im still mad at my younger brother?
which one gets the top bunk or bottom bunk?
on god they will fight each other. when they were kids well i guess bunkbeds werent really a thing but they would always fight for the best sleeping spot and its no different now. as adults in the here and now, theyre both Big Men and the bottom bunk is more roomy so they fight for that. if there was one single and one double bed theyd fight for the double. you understand. they want the same thing and are always always willing to go to war about it.
who speaks up when the other asked for no pickles?
den never needs anyone to do that bc he'll eat literally anything. if he gets something he didnt order he's just like, cool! let me try this! he used to speak up for swe but swe makes a point to do it himself when den is there bc fuck u dont talk for him.
which one likes to go into the other's room, fart, and immediately leave?
both equally guilty. also my older brother used to do this thing where he would wrestle my little brother to the ground, pull his slippers off and beat him in the head and back with them. once he put them in the freezer then got them out cold and hit him with them. anyway thats denmark and sweden.
which one bails the other out of jail?
they get in jail together doing some stupid shit that swe would never do with anyone else. everyone else thinks swe is really straight laced now but when he and den get together they create chaos. norway refuses to bail them out so finland has to step in.
swe and den are both incredibly repentant for around 6 months to 2 years depending on the offence. and then it happens again.
which one won't stop repeating an embarrassing story about their sibling as a child?
denmark - once again swe is let down by not being a good storyteller. denmark has a great memory for everything anyone he knows has ever done. he remembers every embarrassing moment and he will weaponise them.
who do they each think the favourite child is?
i think they both think its the other. but when they have their rare moments of camaraderie they bitch together about it being norway.
#hws sweden#hws denmark#aph sweden#aph denmark#hws nordics#jamtland#hetalia headcanons#thanks for the ask!#siblings ask meme#i put a lot of emotion into this lol#am i settled as an adult? yes. do i want to cagefight my brothers? also yes
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pissy and upset about things that happened nearly a decade ago so asking for asks on my tmc aus or ashstone or literally anything to stop thinking about it please
#im so fucking mad rn#disclaimer this is nto directed at anyone#both people im mad at are not on tumblr and i havent spoken to them in years#but im still mad about what happened so like#aughghh#literally any asks at all i want to stop thinking about traumatic events
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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the problem with all these white authors like rick riordan who are revealing their stances on the israel-palestine apartheid is that they barely do anything but virtue signal when they claim “i’m on the side against war” “i’m anti-violence” “i abhor terrorism.” zero people are going to disagree with you. zero people believe what hamas did is justified. zero people think israel shouldn’t have a right to defend itself against terrorism. but that isn’t what israel is doing when they collectively punish all of palestine, who doesn’t even have an official army. when rick riordan says some wishy-washy bullshit about the violence suffered on both sides of the conflict, and words his whole dumbass blog post like it’s violence that is in any way equal, that literally helps no one. in fact, it’s so damn negligent of the 75 years of violence that palestine has suffered and been oppressed for. yes, there are innocent civilians in israel who are suffering, no one is disagreeing with you. that doesn’t erase the fact that israel is a disgusting state that has used state-sanctioned violence on a systemic scale since its conception, and the oppressed people have responded to that in violent retaliation (because OBVIOUSLY they would). israel is built on the subjugation of palestine, there is no equal suffering between the two.
#ricky when i catch you ricky#so fucking disappointed with rick and aveyard and gaiman and brown and tjr and the list goes on#it makes me so damn mad. israel doesnt need your support to genocide palestinians#was thinking about buying chalice of the gods but im probs not going to for now#maybe until i can get it secondhand. but idk if i even care to read it atp#riordanverse#rick riordan#free palestine#percy jackson#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#toa#trials of apollo#correct riordanverse#rewriting#what is happening to innocent israelis is horrible. but i find it funny how the world only cares when its an israeli person#suddenly every innocent palestinian who has died since israel’s conception is flattened by history to somehow be on equal terms#10000 palestinians have died since 2008. its not equal at all.#how can u say that the attacks in gaza have reached genocidal proportions and then still talk abt suffering of israel like its equal???#‘What can I do? I will continue to write books—‘ oh my god shut up#‘I will resist the urge to demonize entire groups of people.’ YAWN#‘ I will call for less violence not more violence. 🥺🥺’#‘ And when asked whose side I am on I will tell you I am on the side of humanitarianism—‘ OH MY GOD SHUT UPPP
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one of the things that fascinate me about thawne: yes, he CAN be normal with kids! surprisingly normal!
((not at all times, though. his mental illness still spills through and as usual he, in trying to manipulate or hurt others, spits out at them the exact stuff that would hurt him (or have in his childhood/barry's rejection interpretation) the most in the first place lmao))
but at the same time. his like second instinct when doing his bullshit is FUCK THEM (as) KIDS
(and, well. whatever this classifies as)
#whats wrong with him. seriously. he loves picking fights with literal children So Much#AND NONE OF THEM WITH WALLY ON THE MATTER OF BEING THE BIGGEST FLASH FAN. HOW DID THAT NEVER HAPPEN#about the middle page. honestly i DIDNT remember he is a Jerk in that way too until i checked his interactions with bart for this post#this man officially should not be allowed near children as a mentor.#just straight up drops ALL his insecurities on a poor kid in trying to make him feel ashamed. NO breaking the abuse cycle for this bad boy#the only thing he doesnt say is the direct 'you are a disappointment' altho the message is still the same 💀💀💀💀💀💀#AND I BET HES HELLA PROUD OF THAT. I MEAN CONSIDERING THIS FACT IG HE DOES TRY TO BE BETTER THAN HIS PARENTS. SOMEWHAT.#and omg he formulates his point like in problem based learning (leading the child to making the correct conclusion themselves)#im dying. professor to the fucking core.#and the way he feels the need to bring up flash facts in his appeal?? EO YOURE SO HOPELESS. THIS IS 100% HOW BART SAW HIM THROUGH#and god knows what he told thad promising to get him out of the speed force if he fought barry there and whether he was going to fulfill it#and do you even IMAGINE how FUCKED barry's mental condition would be growing up if thawne fulfilled his button threat#and i really REALLY wonder about the tornado twins and their relationship with 'uncle eobard' but that will be a separate post#he doesnt know any other way tho. and he might be actually mad at bart for not supporting his every action as The Flash#like. he tries to play family but the second they question he just goes WHATEVER. I DONT NEED IT. FLASH OF MY VISION RUNS ALONE#his problem is that he just wants attention. he doesnt see family/heroing for what 'its really about' or downsides that may come with them#everything is so idealized in his head. and the moment he faces reality with its complications the concept immediately gets antagonized.#and then he reconsiders and changes the conditions but fails each time never realizing the problem is his mindset and not everything else#black white at its finest yall#and man. RELATABLE.#also WHY is he standing LIKE A STATUE when appearing in front of bart????😭😭😭😭#poor museum rat has no idea what heroes in real life stand like#eobard thawne#professor zoom#reverse flash#the reverse flash#bart allen#the flash#dc
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ummmmmm. something something normal being the only one to actually empathize with the doodler before they were dood and teenshaped and being the only one to empathize with hermie when hermie was alive. that's it that's the thought.
#i have no conclusions other than how fast im spinning normal in my head#dndads#dndads spoilers#i think . it's like. something about normal being so heavily ostracized for so long#he doesn't really consider himself part of the group and he doesn't really think anyone takes HIM seriously#so he connects with the doodler and he connects with hermie and he tries so hard to connect with scary#and all of it comes to nothing because now everyone wants to be friends with the doodler now that they're approachable#and hermie is dead and scary is doing better for herself and no one seems to be long-term mad at her#so where does that leave him who still is this weird extra piece#he's an extra piece in his family(he was an accident) hes an extra piece to the school(no one really wanted teeny)#and he hasnt really gotten the attention or the care he needs from anyone else so. what happens to the extra pieces no one wants#they either die or are otherwise discarded#anyway im really ordinary about him
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you can't "just add a few codexes". you have to write those codexes. you have to write them in the proper voice and style and so it doesn't just fit ONE specific person's worldstate but anyone who also may have made the same decision as them. (you might even have to write multiple variations of the SAME CODEX to account for gender/race/class/romance) you have to edit them. you have to decide where those codexes are going to appear. you have to put them somewhere where people who want to read them will find them. you have to program them showing up. you have to flag it so it only shows up in sPECIFIC versions of the game. (because god forbid it doesn't and breaks someone else's immersion) you have to bug test that. you have to hope it still works when it ships.
and after all that the people complaining might still pick up said codex and close out the window immediately. or run past it entirely and complain that they made a selection in the worldstate that never paid off.
and then you've just spent all that time fleshing out something that's just a small nod to a very small percentage of players. time you could have spent on the current plot or companions. time you could have spent on making *active* decisions matter. these things can easily take up weeks or months like you wouldn't fucking believe.
#i challenge anyone complaining about this to try doing it for themselves#really pick up a pen and write these codexes you want so bad#and have it up to the same level of quality it should be for the game#then actually wait until the game comes out and you play it *for yourself* and see if this is still a 'valid criticism'#and hey maybe you do at the end of it all and that would be fine and valid!#until then complain all you want but criticism requires you to make evaluations with context so this is not 'valid criticism'#preparing to get repremanded by my friends for Posting but this is eating away at me inside as someone who takes critique very seriously#esp now that im replaying inquisition and realizing how unfinished and empty it is bc they cut so much stuff to account for worldstates#do you ever think about how upgrading skyhold is almost purely cosmetic and doesn't fucking matter in the end fight#just so some npc in the herald's rest can talk about what happened to merrill's clan or i can get letters from zevran at the war table#granted this prob would have made varric killable and deprived us of silver fox varric so it is what it is#obligatory its fine to be mad/upset/whatever but stop talking like this was a decision made lightly or to spite you The Player#they are not rubbing their hands together maliciously in the writers room like some evil cabal get a grip#dragon age
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people who think clem surviving makes no sense are so funny. "they were literally foreshadowing her death the entire season" let me introduce you to the concept of a red herring. she tells lilly she isnt lee and shes right. the narrative was forcing her down that path, a path she saw as an inevitable fate waiting to take her too, but its a narrative broken by aj, who is also his own person and not S1 clem
"it happened to lee, and itll happen to you" lilly tells clem she'll die protecting aj from some mistake he makes, when in reality his defiance of her will is what saves her life after she had already accepted her fate. he breaks clem free from the lee cycle and they get their relatively happy ending. good for them
#anyway in the commentary they talk about how they Were going to have a death ending but didnt like the idea of the good/bad ending#and how people would moreso try to avoid the 'bad end' which i understand and appreciate bc thats usually what happens#so instead they gave us both :) idk why some people seem to have such a huge problem with that#they broke the cycle :) the ericson kids broke the cycle by being a loving community :) they all break the cycle by refusing the delta#lilly and minnie were both lost to the cycle. lilly with her dad and minnie with lilly#minnie couldnt let go. clem almost did the same and it would have killed her too. but aj makes a Choice and it saves her#god even tho clem is noticeably happier in s4 shes still so gd depressed and Tired. she accepted it so fast im so glad he saved her#like idk you saw her come back on screen after that massive fake out and you got Mad?? i was crying twice as hard#i know ive made this similar post before but like i still see this criticism in 2024 and i just have to laugh now#it speaks#twdg#i just love the narrative threads of S4 bro.... seasons 1 and 4 are two sides of the same coin and i love that. its satisfying
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yknow what…..im thinking about it. (american) gen z grew up surrounded by talk of climate change and actual school shootings where peers and friends literally die at age 11 and that was just like our norm. the economy is shit so we cant buy houses and can barely afford food, our schools were a war zone, and our planet is dying. that was our youth, death at every turn. a lot of gen z (i think i can go global here, not just america) will tell you like “yeah i didn’t ever see myself living past fifteen much less eighteen. i thought i’d be dead by now” and so now we have like no idea wtf we’re doing and we’re just trying to make the best out of our shitty lives.
anyways merlin also kinda grew up like that as in his very existence was a death sentence and if the wrong person found out he’d be dead. growing up hearing from your mother that you cant tell anyone the truth bc what you are, how you were born, is wrong in this world and that many people would cheer to see you die….yeah what if he had the same thought process and was like “yeah fuck guess my death is inevitable” and just stopped giving a fuck. he’s confrontational and picks fights without regard for his opponents strength or numbers bc hey if he goes out this way then at least he was doing something good and standing up for what he believed in, if he doesn’t die then cool he made a difference. that’s why he goes toe to toe with arthur even after finding out he’s the prince of the most powerful kingdom in albion that started the whole campaign calling for his head.
just merlin being kind of like a medieval gen z lmao like taking no shit and taking all these risks bc hey he never thought he’d make it to twenty so wtf else is he meant to do?? live a life of paranoia and wariness? no. he’s gonna die in the end no matter what, if it happens sooner rather than later….well…he never thought he’d make it this far so he did better than he originally expected. this is why he gets on with gwaine so well bc they both have like passive suicidal tendencies where they take all these risks and make all these choices that put their lives at risk bc they don’t particularly care one way or the other how it turns out. real recognizes real.
#not to be one of those people who posts about generational groups of whatever#but i was just thinking about it#like merlin not biting his tongue when it comes to uther and people staring at him like hes mad#and hes just like ‘he wants me dead anyways why does it matter’#‘i shouldve died years ago but im still here and idk what to do about that so ill test fate every day just to see what happens’#tw suicidal mentality#? idk how else to tag it#tw gun violence mention#tw school shooting mention#tw child death mention#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#angst#gwaine#no one really gets it bc yeah gwaine is taking these risks#but hes doing it bc he isnt that happy with his life#merlin is doing it bc he wasnt expecting to keep his life for this long and isnt sure he really wants it anymore#but he keeps it just in case but he also wouldnt be that upset if it was taken#you know?#is this too sad?#i feel like im getting too dark#post over
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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way
#a little creature#sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like#is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink#anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much#the most important women in his life bar none#marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just#rose up and burst again#its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad#and she just doesnt know what to do with herself#the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen#but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV#the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be#edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated#marcille's denial of her feelings so far#bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out#in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now#bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin#so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story#it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where#she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part#and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story#and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle#so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it
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and they were singin', bye-bye Miss American Pie // american oldie i think kuwabara unironically listens to
(low effort lyric edit im queueing here in May cos im probably gonna forget it exists otherwise)
#qeued post#for June cos hey pride#the idea of kuwa seeing his friends in a holy almost godly light namely yusuke#and having them all leave unexpectedly#cos before that night at Genkai's i feel like it was solidified in kuwa's brain DESPITE the sidekick complex#DESPITE the fact that he's human and the least powerful member they are still decidedly a team#A team he has a place on. But then all suddenly springing this... YUSUKE springing this departure on him. shatters that belief#yusuke says he'll be back and it seems to make things better but even so kuwabara's face still looks so solemn when he leaves#Likely cos he knows yusuke is just saying shit and doesn't even know if it's possible to come back#this wasn't supposed to be a kuwameshi post it's really not but there's always that undertone when i talk about them so#He just admires them all so much yusuke above all others only to be left behind and that's gotta fuckin hurt#The way we don't see the resolution to this feeling. The lack of belonging the abandonment#next time we see him he's just supposed to be over it but we don't really know if it actually happened#So I like to play with the idea of like . Did he really like healthily accept things or#did he just repress it and deal. Cos like eng dub he tells yusuke ''forget all that stuff I said'' immediately taking back#his harsh words bc it's either stay mad stay upset or quickly forgive and move on cos this could be the last time. or even the jdub#where he doesn't even allow the vulnerability to show enough to trail off he just spouts the normal shit bc it's what they DO he immediatel#tries to get back to the normal dynamic and push himself to being fine with it right now bc he doesn't have the luxury of being upset#when it doesn't matter cos yusuke's leaving. the last thing he hears from him shouldnt be reckless shit he was saying when he lashed out#aka i dont think kuwa's feelings get seriously addressed enough and this episode haunts me cos of that very fact#Im not making any sense. Nico as my witness I swear I was more eloquent yapping to him about it#kuwabara kazuma#yu yu hakusho#kuwameshi
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i get critiquing plot holes and power differences/disadvantages and systemic things like sexism and sexualization/fetishization and racism in manga and stories in general, and i also understand loving your favorite character and wanting a certain outcome for them, but it's always a little bonkers to me that people geniuenly believe they could have come up with better endings or outcomes than the authors themselves... like i know people get attached to their favs and everything but manga and story telling is an artform and it's art that's created by a real life person who chooses to share their story with you there is no "better" ending that you could have come up with because you couldn't have come up with those characters in the first place! sure you think you could worm them around in better scenarios but even that is wishful thinking because you couldn't have, wouldn't have, and didn't come up with the world and scenes around them to navigate them in canon in the first place! idk i get wishful thinking and hopes and cracking jokes and fix-it fics and ships all that but sometimes i feel like people need to be humble and take a step back lol.... it's not your story and there's nothing for you to change, much less publicly scream about how the author fucked up just bc your favorite character didnt end up how you wanted them to.... and if u feel that strongly just like... do it in your own little online or irl community lol there's no need to scream on the internet every 3 months about how u think the mangaka who gave u the character u love so much is a piss poor artist
#delete later#like yeah i have my critiques of aot and jjk and naruto but i would never go so far as to say 'i could have written this better'#or 'x-mangaka didnt know what they were doing' bc they did..... and i couldnt have come up w those characters#there are things like ok based on events of other characters and rules about power scales#i can say i think sakura should have had ying/yang chakra abilities and i can say i think her story should have been as clear as others#but that's different than say lol sakura was NEVER meant to marry sasuke or catch up to him and naruto bc clearly she was 😭 bc she did#and even with jjk like sure ur attached to sukuna for whatever reason#but calling it disney kaisen and saying its cooked bc sukuna lost is crazy....#like of all the things to critique jjk on ur mad bc th evil guy the author planned to defeat was defeated........#and obvs im for making up little scenarios where everyone is happy and well and gets to do what i want thats what fics are#but thats so different than standing 10 toes down and saying gege is a trash author because nanami died#like OFC i want nanami back but the world is still spinning....#also im not saying that anyone is immune to like. the quality of their story declining bc that can 100% happen but its different#than trashing an artist just bc ur fav didnt get what u thought might happen to thenm
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im on vacation how can i make this about the murder time trio. mtt fresh out of a flight and the minute that they leave the airport dust stops horror and killer for the smoke break. because being around a smoker is like that. and while horror is dying and coughing from the cigarette smoke and killer is pretend coughing to make dust feel terrible theyre both simultaneously roasting the shit out of dust for being such an addict smoker. cancer speedrun GO says horror. refreshing his signature smell says killer. dust just glares at them and blows smoke in their face (horror literally takes damage he's at 0.7 HP)
#killer ended up liking that btw. he later asked for dust to extinguish the cig on him. freak#this is absolutely based on my own personal experience#only a person who knows a smoker knows how annoying it is when they take smoke breaks everywhere#car rides are TAINTED by dust having to smoke. eating out is interrupted because dust gets up every 15 minutes to smoke#his bones are a dusty color but not because of the dust but because the smoke has turned them gray from the inside out#i'll need to figure out the right time to post this but the mtt grind never stops even while inter nations ‼️‼️‼️#i MUST relate every single thing i do to the mtt. a similar situation just happened to me like 15 minutes ago#im in germany oui oui or something idk#i cannot wait to come up with a bunch of travel related mtt headcanons this is gonna be so fun#the only fun i'll have during this trip is the imaginary characters in the head i sound delusional#delusional??? like like like horror sans. like like dust sans. is killer delusional. probably idk#update on horror character analysis: i finished some of it on the flight but smh#UNFORTUNATELY i have a human body so i needed to sleep so thats 4 hours wasted on NOT mttmaxxing#and it turns out i REALLY shouldve pre translated time to go mad so i could localize it on a flight with no internet#yeah i didn't think that one through. but at least i got parts of the analysis done WITH NO MUSIC. im a god#since Mad Time Series was so eye opening and fun to translate i cant WAIT to see what Time to Go Mad will be like#calvateyla after being canon dusttale's lord and savior. even after not posting on ask dusttale for years they still manage to surprise me#i almost lost my apple pencil during the flight i swear i was tweaking out#how can i connect this to the mtt#how can i make EVERYTHING about the murder time trio#3 is my favorite number. K D H are my favorite letters. when i see a knife i think of killer when i see a hood i think of dust when i see#mtt brainrot goes hard just like me. im hard. fortunately not like like an erection the mtt brainrot never goes away#top ten most outrageous triglycercule statements#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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