#but im so close to nap time
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#30 rock#tina fey#alec baldwin#jack donaghy#elizabeth lemon#liz lemon#its been a hell of a week#and even crazier of a month#but im so close to nap time#8 more hours and the bed awaits
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donut breakfast + 5 hours of weaving class with a very kind chatty instructor who gave me excellent advice and was fun to hang out with + late lunch of fast food burger with extra fried onions + took a long nap on 🌸, forcing them to be cozy in bed with a book instead of working + now i write more fan fictions and roast some chicken thighs which i will eat for dinner with mashed potatoes
#box opener#at some point i will get natural light photos of the placemats i wove#they're like. okay. the weft is cotton fabric strips for practical thing-a-beginner-can-finish-in-one-class reasons#and i didnt get to choose the warp color so im not like in love with it#but the fabric has a good drape/closeness for placemats & they are the same size and both genuinely pretty rectangular#so i think that overall that is a good outcome for my first time weaving anything and i am both pleased#and affirmed that it was in fact a good idea to go to a class#classes are useful.#now im exhausted bc that was the first thing ive done in five days#but that is what girlfriend nap is for ^_^
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R.I.P. Astrud Gilberto, March 29, 1940 - June 5, 2023. Seen here, performing "The Girl from Ipanema" in 1964 with Stan Getz on tenor sax, Gary Burton on vibraphone, Gene Cherico on bass, and Joe Hunt on drums.
#astrud gilberto#r.i.p.#the girl from ipanema#music#bossa nova#stan getz#jazz#samba#childhood memories#damn - hearing this song after so long literally unlocked#childhood memories from kindergarten? of music they played at nap time#not the school or the teachers but someone who lived nearby#close enough that we could hear it gently playing in the background#at 12 noon sharp every day for an hour#and i can remember that whenever it wasnt playing#all of us kids had trouble falling asleep#whenever i do hear it now (which isnt at all often)#it immediately relaxes my brain and my entire body#lol - they pavlove’d a conditioned response into us#hopefully there isnt another song ive forgotten that automatically turns on a murderous rage#anyway - the point here is that im almost 39#and (my fault) but this is the 1st time ive ever even seen what she looked like
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the plot twist at the end of episode 2 was like the plot twist that was yuri!!! on ice episode 10
#just changed the whole perception#i mean ofc he knew her their schools being so close and all and kdrama leads always meet each other in either childhood or in high school#but like he was so in love with her#he wrote the song for her#he called her on the radio because she was going through such hard time#even tho he has been contemplating ending his life the way he was looking at her on the road#his favourite candy being the one she gave him#the way he sacrificed his already hurt shoulder just so she could nap in peace 😭#it was all for her and it's been only 2 episodes#i am really not being normal about this am i#please drama gods let it never disappoint me#lovely runner#kdrama#ryu sun jae#im sol
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I love Roblox
#i have a new hyperfix and its Pressure and its SO BAD#I COULDNT TAKE A NAP BECAUSE EVERY TIME I CLOSED MY EYES I JUST SAW MY GAMEPLAY AND STRATEGIES AND SHIT HELP#i got to 105 too before a fucking ANGLER KILLED ME AFTER I GOT THE CRYSTAL UGHHHH#I hate anglers fuck anglers#i can handle the void puddles and good people and squiddles and everything else but#UGH. I HATE THE ANGLERSSSSSS#also sebastian solace love tbat fucker#gabriel ultrakill but a fish (sassy asshole goiced by gianni its the same vibes)#he sassed me for buying a medkit so i had 2 after using one to get back to full health like ??? im sorry i like to be prepared fish.#thats mean. anyways. hes helpful too but he bullies tf out of the player its funny
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me to every single person i meet: hey do u mind if i pack bond with u and see u as my family. is that okay with u. (doesnt wait for an answer)
#thats a lie btw i never actually ask i just kind of internally see all the ppl im close with as my found family and never say it#every time i see a younger person online my brain defaults to “thats my little sibling n i gotta protect them” and idk how to stop it#its not only online either#i remember at an old job there was this 17 year old kid that was so fucking stressed all the time and so overworked#and for some reason some kind of older sibling instincts activated#so i started bringing her wendys on days i knew she was working with me and i let her nap during work hours#and id cover for her every time she needed it and i would die for her.#we literally dont even talk anymore since we both quit that job but id still die for her#one time she was napping in a hidden spot and our manager walked in n i told him shes in the bathroom#and she woke up halfway thru n heard me talking to the manager and thanked me so much#she had a LOT of shit going on in her life n was being really overworked especially with the job being so so shitty to her#i heard these days shes making big money as a lifeguard. i felt so fucking proud of her when i found out#ANYWAYS THAT WHOLE TAG RAMBLE WAS JUST LEADING UP TO THE POINT THAT I KEEP PACK BONDING WITH RANDOM ASS PEOPLE#AND IDK HOW TO STOP IT BCS REPEATEDLY TELLING MY BRAIN “THAT RANDOM TEENAGER IS NOT UR LITTLE SIBLING. STOP” DOIESNT FUCKING WORK!!!!!!!!!!
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Guess who might have 🎶whooping cough🎶
#its me and many other people at the summer camp i work at#today i took the morning off because ive been ill for a few weeks#i think the first week was a different illness than the one i currently have tho#i assumed it was what we call 'camp crud' because youre bound to get sick when youre around grimy kids#and living in close quarters with others and not getting enough sleep#but yesterday i felt like shit all day to the point of not being able to stand. so today i took the morning off#just to try and recover a bit. but at lunch my program director came in and said im going to the clinic later#and asked me who else ive noticed is sick#hes making a list because apparently a camper has fucking whooping cough. and its lookng like others might too#i told my sibling i might have whooping cough and they said#'seriously?! are you a street urchin from 1600s Europe?'#which is the worst thing anyone has ever said to me lol. im already on the brink of death and they just kicked me over#im desperately hoping its just crud and not whooping cough#because i have the opportunity to work the zip line this weekend for visiting alumni. with the woman i have feelings for#altogether its going to be a great time so im really hoping i can go. but i obv cant if i have whooping cough#anyway im gonna go back to napping bcuz thats all ive been doing today. that and coughing#if you pray then maybe add me into your prayers today. maybe manifest my health. ive been sick for weeks and i want it to be over
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once were moved im gonna start planning out how id renovate a van for real. need to do some research—im hoping to get a high roof model and find an insulation + flooring solution that would maintain maximum height in the cargo area
imagine if i could take val camping.......
#wed really still need a nice campground with bathrooms but omg it could be so nice#find a cute campsite. take a nap. light a fire when it gets dark. get back into the van and play video games in bed#wake up in the woods. have a pleasant brunch outside. take a little scenic drive...#would need to find her a comfortable camp chair for maximum outdoor chillage#im also very torn between#separating the backity back of the van from the rest of the main cargo area and using it as an outdoor-accessible storage area#which just really prioritizes having a lot of storage space#(not really a concern in This fantasy but i would also love to use it to like. go skiing or something)#vs like#having the bed pretty up-close with the back doors (maybe w a small storage/nightstand area as a buffer) for the ambiance from the windows#which seems like a small aesthetic detail ik but like#idk if i take val out and we spend a majority of our time in the van#i want the outdoors to be visible and noticeably surrounding us#id have to go scope out campsites beforehand to make sure bathrooms look hunky dory but thats not a big deal at all#like. oh no... i have to go camping twice... whatever shall i do
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i am so devastated yesterday i went downtown to buy some stuff for the concert and my eARPHONES BROKE??? i cant leave for frankfurt w/o them im literally gonna die so im way too tempted to buy airpods rn but ive always been such an airpods hater and i lowkey still am theyre so ugly i wanna keep my cable ones but its the 3rd or 4th pair ive broken this year and theyre like 25€ so eventually itll add up to the price id pay for the other ones but i dont wannaaaa 💔💔 and also i dyed my hair last night n its brown and i thought i would like it more than i do but i am not used to looking like a normal person please i wanna look like a clown i hate it sm my only option is to add sparkly hair tinsels now to at least feel a little bit better abt it but wtf i havent seen myself like this for like 5 years atp now i remember why i never let my hair grow out in its natural color and i also wanna cut it again but i need to be able to put it in a claw clip for work bc im a bitch ass waitress/bartender so im not allowed to wear it down omg im having a midlife crisis again for the third time this week and its only tuesday i hate having to make decisions and having to spend money and having to exist and people being able to perceive me why do i have to have a physical body im just a girl i wanna be seen as a speck of glitter flying by this is all hyungseoks fault
#and also#theres this specific multi surface cleaner i always use and it smells like baby powder#and i ran out so i went to buy a new one but they didnt have it so i had to buy a different one and it smells like bathroom <//3#i did buy a gidle album yesterday and pulled shuhua tho so life is good#and yuqi#☆ ; dear diary ?#i took a nap today which i usually dont do anymore bc one wrong move and my sleeping schedule is fucked up again#and i just woke up n its like 6pm rn#everything closes at 8pm here#and i still havent decided if i wanna go and buy airpods or not#there is no time i want time /ref#i hate it here#+ hyungseok said ily on fromm im not used to this from him i am weirded out
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oughhhh new boss hasn't even fully taken over yet but she seems so incompetent 😬
#also has no respect for anyone else including some of the lovely old ladies who have worked here 30 years#disrespected my mentor :(#also wants me an my other co teacher to come back to work some day(s) in the next few weeks to work unpaid overtime#just to set up the classroom the way she wants....#which is traditionally the lead teacher's job to do if she chooses#i think she's genuinely so delulu that she thinks it's gonna be fun girls night bonding time or something#like girl i am not coming back after hours to work for free lol#anyway every change she has tried was catastrophic today but she wouldnt even admit that most of them don't work 🤡#then she left at 3pm for me to deal w closing while the kids lost thier marbles bc she fucked up naptime then didn't let us keep them down#so they literally got a half nap today but she didnt care bc she was off in an hour anyway#ugh#she's gonna be insufferable i know it 😖#my co teacher was begging our current supervisor who hasnt fully left yet for advice on saying no to the unpaid overtime#im so sad she's leaving fr 😭#she doesn't even want to go but management is evil and dumb and moved her to pre k bc another teacher lied abt her :(#i got her a nice care package tho#i was going to wait for the new boss to be off shift and go home before giving it to my current one at end of day tomorrow (her last day)#bc i didnt want her to feel unwelcome or weird or anything#but i don't care now actually 😂#i want her to know we love sarah and are going to miss her#and she has to live up to that#bc currently she's uh...not lol
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the stupid thing about anxiety that leans into straight up paranoia territory is that you can be weirdly paranoid and expectant of something terrible, worst case scenario ever to happen like, all the time, but since it's never happened to you you know it's unreasonable. but the moment one of the things you're crazy about actually happens, all those other extremely way more unreasonable things suddenly become plausible in your head by association, so now you're just on guard ALL the time. it's like throwing your anxiety a bone and because it was good that time and did a good job of preparing you for it now it's like ok! I will do this for everything else too and i will do a good job. but really it just needs to be put down
#in my case its like. i was highly paranoid of car incidents happening. but i was able to like. nap in a car comfortably cuz it never hapened#but i was ALSO unreasonably so paranoid about likr. inexplicably suddenly just getting a bullet to the skull. like out of nowhere anytime#so now that a terrifying car incident HAS happened to me now im like okay#im super high guard about that now and can barely close an eye in a vehicle without shaking. but. now that thats plausible.#whats saying im not gonna be sniped any moment any time while in public . who says.#i as a perosn know its exteemely unreasonable and sily especially considering where i live. but now that my anxiety has been fed#it's basically all gone downhill into insanity#anyways i need therapy but i dont have time energy or transportation. SLAYYYY!!!!!!!❗❗❗❗🫡#txt#to detract this from myself therefore cancelling out any vulnerability on main: if i give an oc anxiety please know#it is this level of crawling up walls 'my head is going to blow off in five seconds and you need to shield me' bullshit and not 'oh no ppl.
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me, every time emily axford gave me emotional damage by connecting to NPCs with a sense of humanity and treating them with respect and dignity:
#that fucking clown gif is literally me every time someone at dimension 20 do their job so well#and im this close 🤏🏼 to literally drowning in tears and drinking 🤏🏼#when ylfa spent her time with her grandma??? i had to recover for 3 business days#when jet fuckin dies??????? and then saccharina's relationship with amethar?????? i wept to sleep godammit#and chirp with her sass and brain???? i love her so much#and then sundry sidney with the junkmother??????? literally had to nap while crying#and the whole thing with dale and sof??????? dont even fuckin talk to me#im a human being made out of 70% water and 60% of it was spent on crying bcs ohmYGOD????? wtf d20 casts are so good?????#but especially emily axford rn cos im watching tuc2 and her whole thing with dale is just SAD now#it used to be CUTE and funny and now im just so—#i just wanna jump off the empire state building#the times when zac's characters decided to dive backwards are a huge mood to me right now#god why the fuck are they so good at their job#unbelievable
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Results are in, you heard it here first folks!!!
A sweet bug race is gonna be my first poll!!! Bug race has already been done though so we're mixing it up with:
#polls#bug race#im having fun with polls guys#im so close to asking yall if i should nap just the whole time haha
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seeing everyone on the tl getting bg3 has me feeling like this 🧘
#nature is healing#i will take a quick nap and then it is bg3 time#bf said he wants us to start a campaign together!#we did one w our friends but it was um very chaotic lol#this time it will be just us so the game can progress better#i still havent beaten act 2 im slacking i dont even think im close to beating it tbh#oh but anyways i hope u all enjoy the game!!! and then we can all talk abt our ocs together ok :D
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were saying goodbye to neo in 33 hours, ive been crying all week and tonight i cant sleep at all… so i will share some photos of my most special and loving and cuddly and magnetic boy
i wish i could have had twelve more years with you
#neopash nation#he lost a lot of weight. we found out its oral cancer#theres nothing we could do except make him comfortable#and give him time to see some of his favorite people again#since he started declining he hasnt been able to lounge on his side and back and be a doting older brother and#im just so sad#hold your pets close idk#neo is so special and his favorite place to be is on me#and its going to be very sad never feeling that comforting weight again or his little paws reaching up to touch my face while he naps#:(
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this is simultaneously the most cringe (on my part) and heartwarming (on theirs) thing that had ever happened to me!
#the ps im losing my mind i am LOSING MY MIND#a kindred spirit???? so close to me!!#also i feel incredibly bad i- i hope i am not waking them up from their naps or hindering them from getting rest#do u think this note was like an extremely nice way of saying stfu pls#i do not LIKE people being observers to the things i do in my personal time i observe people not the other way around!
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