#also i feel incredibly bad i- i hope i am not waking them up from their naps or hindering them from getting rest

[lonlonranching]

this is simultaneously the most cringe (on my part) and heartwarming (on theirs) thing that had ever happened to me!

[kyri45]

A final letter

Hello Everyone!

The queue is paused and everything is scheduled, which means we are ready for the finale!

I know that, in the end, this was just a silly side project for me, with everything else going on in my life. But for this occasion, I wanted to drop some words here and hope they make sense.

I started watching LMK only because a friend told me there was a "Sonadow-coded" ship. I ended up consuming the entire thing in one sitting on July 10th, 2024. At the time, I was still recovering from a bike accident that had left me with a broken right forearm—unable to draw for a little over a month. (I did try drawing with my left finger, but it wasn't exactly fun.)

Not only that, but it was summer, and I couldn’t enjoy the season or practice my main sport, windsurfing. To say I was feeling the blues is an understatement. I remember being in physical pain just from not being able to draw my sillies. But then, watching LMK did something to my brain chemistry that my little undiagnosed autistic self had never experienced before. It hit so hard that I’ve been physically unable to rewatch the show SINCE that very first day. (And y’all still call me the CEO of this fandom. Bro, I just work here.)

A lot of you have asked what inspired me to start this comic or to draw LMK fan art in the first place. While my usual answer is, "I saw Shadowpeach and thought MK could be their lovechild, given his appearance," the moment that actually started it all was THIS ONE—

(I HAD TO REWATCH THIS SCENE TO MAKE THE GIF AND IT HURT ME ON A MOLECOLAR LEVEL)

I have… a thing for characters who discover their entire identity was something else all along. It consumes my thoughts, my dreams, my every waking moment. I live for identity crises, for characters who thought they knew who they were, only to be forced to rediscover themselves, their existence, and their place in the world. If you give me a story where a character has to go through that, I will like it—regardless of how bad the rest of the story is.

Pair that with loads of trauma, daddy issues, the pressure of a legacy, and world-ending stakes, and congrats! Now I’m obsessed, and I will not stop thinking about it for the rest of my days!

At first, my brain just wanted to release some of that energy with a small, four-panel post about the monkeys discovering that MK was technically their kid.

That was supposed to be it.

But since I never seem to learn my lesson, it didn’t stay like that. Because once I started drawing, I just... continued.

And

I

never

stopped.

A lot of you have also asked how I found the motivation to draw so much, to never take a break. Well, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it one last time: I am my number one fan. No matter how much you laughed, cried, screamed, or went feral over this story, I did all of that and more. Because I got to think about the chapters months before they released. I got to daydream about them. I got to watch them come to life—first through sketches, then line art, then dialogue. And finally, I got to witness your reactions and see the incredible creations you made, inspired by my story.

So yeah, in a way, it was almost an addiction. A good addiction. Because, for the first time in my life, I actually understood what loving art means.

I’ve been drawing for ten years, working professionally for five, but I never loved art before. I just liked it because I happened to be good at it. But creating this comic made me understand why artists say, "Oh, I’ve loved drawing since I was a child!" This was the first time I allowed myself to create purely for my own enjoyment. Something I hadn’t had the privilege to do for a long time.

Other than making me feel even more single than I already was, this story somehow also helped me a little with my own family relationships. So yeah. Crazy how the gay monkeys changed my life.

Of course, I never could have predicted how much traction my AU would gain. Man, y’all were really starving to latch onto something this silly. /j

But yeah—thank you. Thank you for sticking around until the end, for having the patience and trust to follow the story even when I made you rage with angst and cliffhangers. (The statement in my bio still stands: I am not responsible for any physical or emotional damage my art has caused.)

I’m absolutely shit at thanking people, or at writing, or at talking in general, honestly. I’m the furthest thing from being good with words, so I hope the final chapter will be enough to show you my gratitude.

Through this story, I met so many wonderful, talented people. I watched as fans across different platforms found each other through memes and fanart of the AU. I saw artists start their own AUs inspired by mine, growing their own communities. I witnessed an explosion of creativity and collaboration through our takeovers. And I laughed along with you all.

And yeah—at its core, this story has always been about love. Whether it’s platonic, sibling, parental, romantic, or whatever the hell Mac and Wukong had going on for millennia.

At its heart, it’s a story about family.

And maybe, in the end… the real family wasn’t just the one in the comic, but the one we’ve found together along the way. 💛

See you all at the finale.

Love you all, freaks /affectionate

Jade

[starlightandfairies]

Ok ok I really love you! That's the last request hahaha I don't wanna annoy you ❤️ I had this somehow cute idea where you've fallen in love with him but he doesn't know and one time you get a little drunk with the girls, later deciding to grab a taxi to the Mikaelson house. Klaus is the one letting you in but Elijah already felt your presence and tries to keep you safe around Klaus, or as you start playing with their swords and stuff. Klaus watches with amusement at his brother taking care of a human girl and makes a comment like "better keep her before I do", and that wakes something in Elijah that he takes you to his room, just to keep you safe. You end up cuddled on top of him, admitting your love to him before falling asleep. He also realizes that he has feelings for you, but he decides to tell you properly in the morning when you wake up 😊😙

Description: A drunken reader leads to playful chaos between the Mikaelson brothers and feelings being revealed.

Warnings: she/her pronouns, drunkness, fluff, swearing

*Requests are open, please send through as many requests as you want, check my character list and requesting rules.*

Thank you so again for requesting! No! You're not annoying me! I'm really enjoying getting requests so don't feel bad! I hope you also enjoy this one!

Key: Y/N = Your Name, POV = Point of view

Word Count: 1,156

First Person's POV

Girls' night out was amazing, I haven't had a night like this in ages, away from all the drama and finally able to just relax with the girls and just be us. I knew I was getting tipsy, I could feel my giggles becoming more and more prominent than normal. The girls were going home, so I decided to head towards the Mikaelson house, I stood on the street hailing a taxi and stumbled into the vehicle once it arrived. I asked to be taken to the address, the walk to the porch of the Mikaelson resident seemed like an incredible challenge, I'm sure that to an outsider I just looked like a fawn learning to walk but I felt as if I was climbing Mount Everest. 

I giggled to myself as I fell against the door, I sucked in a breath, trying to pull myself together as I knocked waiting for someone to answer. I was surprised when it was Niklaus, I waved almost childishly, smiling brightly at the Hybrid who clearly seemed amused by my current state.

In all honesty, I have no clue how I ended up sword-fighting with Niklaus, however, somehow this is where we ended up. Sword fighting in the parlour. I highly recommend it, however, do take care. I grinned brightly seeing Elijah walking forward with his usual look of concern plastered on his face, however, once he was at my side he smiled. 

"Good evening, Y/n, I didn't realise you'd be joining us." 

"Spur of the moment type thing." I turned my attention back to Niklaus, continuing our little sword fight, I jumped as Elijah used his speed to appear in front of me, I grinned excitedly but quickly pouted as he took the sword off of me. 

"How about instead you sit with me, and tell me all about your night?" The pout faded away, I nodded in agreement, sitting on the sofa with him and instantly began rambling on about every little detail that went on tonight. I'm sure I shared details I wouldn't typically share in normal conversation, my filter was non-existent and oh, how I know that if I could watch myself right I would wish for it badly. 

"Am I okay to take my shoes off?" I questioned glancing down to the hells that were now becoming painful and unwanted. Elijah nodded, though, after watching my struggle he lightly took my hands and proceeded to continue to charm me with his gorgeous smile that drew me in the first time I saw him. 

"May I help you?" I nodded, frustrated with my inability to undo the damn straps on my shoes, Elijah kindly took my shoes off for me and rested them to the side. The vampire stared at me for a good minute, assessing my needs and whatever else that was needed to be assessed. 

"I'll be right back, I'll get you some water." I threw my arms around him, giggling happily, thanking him and plopped back into the couch. I waited patiently for both vampires to return, I fiddled with my hands, staring at everything in the room and running my finger over my lips making odd sounds just for the sake of it. 

Elijah's POV 

I began pouring some water, and getting some things prepared for Y/n knowing that in the morning the hangover would come, I wanted her to be okay and wanted her to be safe. So I was quite glad that Niklaus chose to follow instead of causing more havoc with Y/n. 

"You know, brother, you better sweep her up before I do." His smirk and words struck a chord. He knew of my feelings, Niklaus knew that I would do anything for her and knew that he would follow through on his words. I made my way back to the living room, stopping in my tracks seeing her laying upside down on the couch, he head on the floor and her legs dangling over the backrest of the sofa. 

I bit back the smile dying to show, I sat beside her, smiling as she waved happily and awkwardly twisted and turned trying to get back into an upright position. I took her hands, smiling as she rested her head on my shoulder and that gorgeous smile just permanetly stuck on her lips. 

"Come with me, will you, please?" Y/n nodded, taking my hand and following me to my room. I handed her the glass of water, watching as she plopped onto my bed finishing the glass of water within a gulp and began curling up underneath the blankets. 

'Would you lay with me, please? I couldn't refuse, I nodded and kicked off my shoes and rested besides her. I wrapped my arms around her as she began to lay upon me, her eyes were fluttering open and shut her words escaping in a mumble. 

"I love you, Elijah. I really love you. Like a lot. Super a lot." Before I could even deny anything, I could feel her swiftly fall asleep, I didn't want to disturb her, I didn't want this moment to end. I knew that in this moment I wanted to confess my feelings for her, so I thought it would be best to do so in the morning. 

First Person's POV 

As the light shined into the room, I knew my headache would be a bitch to deal with, I pushed myself up into a sitting positon in the boat. I stretched briefly, jumping slightly to see Elijah walking into the room with a glass of water and a packet of painkillers. 

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you." I whispered, sipping the water and taling the painkillers. Elijah sat on the bed besides me, I rested my head on his shoulder and began sharing my apology. 

"I'm so sorry, was I a complete mess?" 

"No, not at all." 

"You're a liar." I whispered. 

"You were just really giggly and silly. You told me you loved me- I don't know how much of that was true..." 

"That was true, I meant that." I confirmed, seeing there was no point in denying the fact that I loved him. Elijah sat in silence for a good moment, I could feeel my heart halt for a second fearing that his reaction cold be poor and that he would react in a way that ruin our friendship. 

"I love you too." He whispered, his eyes focused on me, I glanced to him surprised and shocked about the outcome of the confession. I smiled pushing myself up and grabbed ahold of his face. Looking to see if the noble vampire was lying to me, he grabbed my hands, his look gentle and comforting. I knew just then that it wasn't a lie and that this was all true. 

[writingviv04]

Stuck In the Middle

Stucky x reader

Essentially the reader finding out that Steve has a massive crush on her even though she is already Bucky’s.

TW- pet names, hints of leading to poly!relationship, flirting, so much flirting, not proofread

Word count: 1.8K

I’m not sorry for this. I can’t sleep and so of course I must write, whatever this is. I am way out of writing practice but I hope you enjoy!

If you would have told me that I would end my day, sandwiched in between two super soldiers, I would laugh in your face.

But here I am. As I feel the cold press of a metal arm around my waist to balance out the incredibly hot flesh arm around my shoulder, I really can’t complain.

Let me set the stage for you though, just so you can understand exactly how I ended up here.

Bucky and I have been dating for 3 years now, and eight months ago, I moved in with him. Life has been bliss. I get to wake up tucked into the man I adore and see him in all of his domestic glory. We cook together, we clean together, and on the bad nights we cry together. Bucky completed me and I like to think I completed him as well. Also, the metal arm? Extremely hot. The super serum that makes him stronger, faster, and warmer than everyone else? Also a very huge plus.

I have a boyfriend that is literally biologically predisposed to be better than anyone else. How could I possibly want more, right?

Well I didn’t. I never even once felt unhappy with my relationship with Bucky or wanted for anything.

That is- until Steve moved into our spare bedroom.

Steve and Bucky go way back. Like way, way back. It’s not an uncommon occurrence for me to see Steve around the apartment at least once a week, hanging out with Bucky. He’s a doll, all American charm and those same beautiful superhuman muscles that’s make up Bucky.

I was happy that Buck had a friend, truly I was. I worry about him sometimes and I feel like him and Steven relate in a way that only soldiers can. I’m happy that he has someone to bear the weight of his darkness with, because that sunshine smile is more common when he isn’t fighting alone.

Then, 4 months ago, Steve showed up at our door, in the middle of the night. He was covered in blood, and barely able to hold himself up. Him and Stark were fighting (again), but this time it was bad enough for Stark to get physical and tell him he wasn’t allowed to come back, ever. Steve didn’t even have time to pack up his belongings from his room at the tower.

And so, for the past multiple weeks I have been sharing a living space with not one, but two super soldiers. It wasn’t weird at first. Like I said, Steve was already part of our lives. It honestly felt like an extended sleepover. I cooked extra at dime and he politely complemented whatever I made, even if it was a new recipe I was experimenting with. The trash was always taken out and honestly it was easy to wash him and Bucky’s gym clothes in the same load.

But remember how I said “at first.” That’s because I soon started to feel like there was something the boys weren’t telling me. I felt like they shared small glances and sky winks any time I turned my back to them but no matter what I asked, they managed to act perfectly innocent.

That is until one night, after dinner. I was doing the dishes as usual and Steve brings me his plate. “It was wonderful, as always darlin” He says, with that adorable grin and I don’t even think about the pet name until, he leans down and gives me a feather light peck on the cheek. My body immediately goes rigid as I he pulls away and my first thought is Oh poor Steve, Bucky is about to murder you.

So imagine the absolute shock that wracks my body when I turn around and see Buck SMIRKING at Steve! The Golden boy walks over to where my boyfriend is standing and I brace for Bucky to throw him across the room. I close my eyes and wait but there is just…silence. No loud crashes or booms. No strangled sounds.

I peak open my eyes to see them both standing, side by side, arms crossed, and looking at me. Both of them have on devilish grins and if I wasn’t so shocked, I think my panties actually would have melted off my body.

“Doll, Steve complimented you. Where are your manners?” Bucky says, his voice perfectly calm but I hear the dominance dripping from it.

“Thank you?” I force out but it comes out like a question, not a statement. I shake my head harshly before saying “I’m sorry, what is happening? Aren’t you mad at him? He just kissed me!” I say, pointing at Steve to emphasize my point. “Aren’t you going to like, do something about it?”

“What do you want me to do about it, doll?” Bucky asked, his voice all sincerity and his face says ‘The ball is in your court doll, we don’t want to make you uncomfortable’.

“What is going on?” I ask instead, still not entirely sure if this is really happening.

“Well-“ Steve starts but Bucky quickly shoots him a look that silences him. THAT is the Bucky I know, the one who is protective any a little scary. I feel my shoulders relax, ever so slightly. This is my Buck. He’s going to take care of me.

“What he’s trying to say, baby, is that he informed me he has quite the crush on you.” Bucky says, as he moves closer to me, pulling me into his chest, but leaving me facing Steve. I usually would melt into his touch but by brain is in overdrive, trying to make sense of what is happening.

“But-but I’m yours. I’m your girlfriend Buck” I say, turning slightly in his arms, looking for something, anything in his face. He looks at me, so softly, so gently before giving me a kiss on the forehead. I still feel the press of Steve’s lips against my cheek in my brain, and I can’t help but blush as I recall the memory while Bucky kisses my forehead in the same, feather light way.

“Yes you are. You will always be my girl. However, Steve has been so good, so respectful. In reality, he is pinning over you something fierce baby. Would it be so bad to give him a shot?” Bucky says quietly, as he pushing a stray hair behind my ear.

“But? Are you asking me to break up with-“ before I can even finish the thought Bucky’s lips are crossing against mine and I let myself indulge. I kiss him back fiercely, eager to make this one to remember. If this is the last time- no, no surely this can’t be the last time. That thought only makes me kiss him harder, and I lose myself in it until he gently pulls away.

“Sorry doll, I don’t like hearing you talk about leaving me.” Bucky whispers, grinning with his darkened lips.

“Then what are you saying?” I ask, feeling even more disoriented with the hormones flooding my system. I pout up at him, begging for him to be my anchor in this moment.

Instead, I feel another pair of hands on me, slowly coming around my waist from behind and I fight the instinct to tense up. “He’s saying,” I hear a voice that is so familiar yet so foreign in this context, “that maybe you can find room in your heart for the both of us?” Steven asks as he moves closer, and I am flush between the two of them. My mind spins at the realization.

They are wanting…. oh, oh.

Bucky isn’t going anywhere. He is staying right here. I am happy about that.

I quickly allow myself to dig through my memories. Realizing now the blush that covered Steve when he complimented my dinner. Or the face he’d make when he caught me and Bucky kissing. And the little touches that seem unimportant until now when they hit me like a tidal wave and- oh. my. stars.

Captain America had a crush on me. And I hadn’t even realized.

I remember that I am standing between the two of them and that they are waiting for me to speak. I try to at least say something, anything and what comes out is “I think I need to sit down.”

Bucky doesn’t hesitate. He sweeps me up into his arms and settles us onto the couch in no time. I quickly climb into his lap and cling to him as tight as possible. My mind is reeling, with all the ideas and memories and possibilities and I need him to ground me. I feel his hand slowly slip under my shirt and start gently grazing my back. He draws lazy patterns with his middle finger over my skin, skimming up and down as I try to settle down.

Finally, after what feels like forever, I find my voice again. I bring my head out of Bucky’s shoulder and say “Is this something you want? I don’t want to do anything that would ruin what we have.” I say, my stern “teacher voice”, as Bucky calls it, coming out as I try and nail down this new reality.

He smiles up at me, knowing that I am nothing if not very thorough in my brain. “Yes doll, I wouldn’t have let Steve near you if I wasn’t comfortable with the idea. I also wouldn’t have let him lay hands on you if I didn’t trust him completely. I’m sorry for not warning you but, come on doll, I’ve seen how you look at him when he comes back from

his run. It’s okay baby. It’s okay if you liked him being sweet on you. But if not, Steve already knows he isn’t allowed to do anything like that ever again if you don’t give the green light.” Bucky says, he started off smiling but got more serious as he spoke, wanting to show me he meant it.

I give Bucky a quick kiss. Then my gaze looks behind the couch where Steven is still standing by the kitchen island. Hope floods his face and for the first time I see it. It’s the face of a man madly in love. I smile as I nod my head in a ‘come here’ motion. He grins and practically runs over to the couch. I smile as I pull myself off of Bucky’s lap and then, once Steve has sat down I say, “I don’t want to

agree to anything just yet. However, I am open to giving this a go on a trail basis.” I cringe internally, hating how nerdy that sounded but Bucky places a hand on my thigh encouragingly.

“I suppose we should talk schematics, or shall we call it a battle plan, Cap?” I say, in the most flirty voice I’ve used in a while, turning to him and now seeing just how obvious his blush is.

“Let’s hear it doll” Bucky says.

And that, is how I ended up, with not one, but two super soldiers in my bed last night. I hardly slept a wink and I would be lying if I said it wasn’t from pure excitement.

I can’t wait to see how Steve does.

If yall want pt. 2, comment and lmk!

[sukunastoy]

Only Love Can Hurt Like This, Chapter 1, Part 2 (CEO! Sukuna x Fem! Reader, MDNI)

Continuation of Part 1 of Chapter 1 Here

⬇️PLEASE READ BEFORE STARTING THE STORY! ⬇️

Modern age AU, no curses. Sukuna still has his tattoos, but his face ones are carefully hidden. This story is set in Japan, and I've done my best to implement real life into it. For example, tattoos in Japan are still taboo, and people associate them with the yakuza, so its not normal to see everyday people have them. Though I know I won't have all the details of modern day life in Japan correct, I hope you still enjoy.

Pairings: CEO Sukuna x Fem Reader Content/Trigger warnings: In full on the Prologue chapter Wordcount: 4.1k+

This chapter is a backstory of how Toji and Reader met. Since Toji is not necessarily a main character in this story, I don't want to focus on a lot of detail for this backstory. But it needs to be told.

Toji and Reader are in high school, Toji is a senior, and reader is a freshman. Though I don't specifically put anything into detail, since everyone is a minor, you get the basic idea. Toji is not a good guy.

Since this is part of a backstory, Sukuna isn't mentioned or appears in this chapter at all.

Trigger/Content Warning, please read!:

⭐This chapter specifically mentions drugging, underage sex, underage drinking, rape without knowledge, filmed during sex without consent, morning after pills/abortion drugs, and manipulation.⭐

Trigger/Content Warning, please read!:

⭐This chapter specifically mentions drugging, underage sex, underage drinking, rape without knowledge, filmed during sex without consent, morning after pills/abortion drugs, and manipulation.⭐

"And one more picture of that pretty, ruined pussy. You'll probably make me a decent amount of money." Toji smirked while snapping the seventh or eighth photo on his phone. -"Hey, check this one out. Ruined her spoiled little virgin cunt."- -"Damn, you sure know how to pick the best ones."- -"Doesn't take much. Make them feel special and they'll drop that guard of theirs."- -"Well, drugging them also helps." -"I thought she was gonna just let me, but she wanted to wait for the right moment I guess."- -"It's so lame. I dunno why bitches need sex to be anything more than just sex."- -"Oh well. She's just a dumb, used whore now. When she finally lets me fuck her, I'll let her pretend its her first time."- -"Do your thing man, and let me know the next time you get her drugged up, I want a piece of that. Its so much easier when they're unconscious and not crying or squirming."- -"Just drop that money into my hand and you can fuck her whenever."-

Saturday, 4:37 AM

Everything ached. And your head was absolutely throbbing. A dazed whimper fell from your lips as you struggled to open your eyes. Your eye lids were almost unbearably heavy, as if they were being held shut. Sitting up, you weakly reached an arm to your head, trying to rub your eyes so you could wake up. Everything hurt so incredibly bad, like, bad... A bit of dread filled your mind as you looked around your bedroom. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, yet everything felt off. Your phone was nearby, and you grabbed it, looking at the time. Only 4:37 in the morning. You went to your messages, texting Toji to see what time he ended up leaving, and if he noticed you acting weird before he left. -"Hey! I just randomly woke up, but I have like a massive headache and everything is really sore. What happened after I got home last night?"-

You waited a moment, hoping for a reply but none came for a long while. By the time you did get anything back, you had slowly spiraled into a panic. Of course the worst consumed your mind, only imagining horrible outcomes of what might have happened the night before. Surely, Toji wouldn't have done anything bad to you, right?

-"Hey princess. Gave you some tea and you were relaxing on the couch. But, you seemed to be a bit buzzed still, you started passin' out on your couch so I put ya to bed and left."

He put you in bed? Well, it did seem quite nice of him. You rarely drank, so it's no wonder you felt like crap. It was certain parts of your body being sore that was a concern to you however. -"We didn't like, do anything, right? I know you kissed me in the car, but you didn't do anything else, did you?"- You nibbled your lower lip in worry while seeing the three little dots of Toji's reply appearing and disappearing before anything was said.

-"Of course not. Why would I do something like that? You were basically passed out, what are you implying?"-

The back of your throat burned as anxiety bubbled up in your chest. Oh shit, you basically just accused him of doing something to you!

-"I'm sorry, that didn't come out right, I'm certainly not accusing you of anything! I wasn't trying to make it sound that way."- You gripped your phone with sweaty palms as the three little dots popped up again, but then disappeared. Leaving you on read.

-"I'm really sorry, I'm just feeling weird and not thinking right."- No reply, and it wasn't even shown as read, only delivered. Several minutes passed and you stared desperately at your phone, awaiting a reply to ease your conscious, but none ever came.

And nothing ever came for the rest of the day either. Though you walked around with a small limp from a pain in your hip, all you could think of was how Toji must have felt for you basically accusing him of doing something to you. He had been nothing but nice and charming the entire night, and then you insult him with that accusation? Stupid.

Monday, 7:37 AM

Monday only brought more worry as you still hadn't heard from him. You were probably going to see him here at school soon and after not hearing back from him just sent tremors through you. How fucking awkward it will be. You waited for him near the lunch room, hoping things wouldn't be tense. What if he completely ignored you? When someone flicked your ear from behind, you quickly whipped around, only to see Toji standing over you, a charmed grin on his face. "Hey there. Ready to eat?"

A little smile crept across your face at his good attitude, but it was still a little nervewracking. "Hey, yeah, but, why didn't you ever text me back?" you wondered, pulling your bottom lip as you looked up to him hopefully. "Oh, I fell asleep and then just forgot." he shrugged it off, that smile never leaving his face as if there wasn't a single problem. You studied him, trying to decipher what he was really feeling, but his expression never faltered. You probably were just overreacting and then panicking, everything seemed fine.

When he invited you out to another party for the next friday, you immediately accepted, wanting another chance to be around him the way you were before. It was mostly the same as before, the only difference being some new faces, but you were still one of the very few freshmen to be among the crowd. You did your best to not drink as much, not wanting to wake up the same way you did last weekend. Dropping you off back at home, you looked over to Toji a little expectantly, licking your upper lip as sublty as possible in anticipation. You wanted him to kiss you like that again, to pull you into his lap and kiss you as if he was craving you. However, he got out of the car, and walked over to your doorside, opening it for you. "Hope you had another good time." He simply said, ushering you out of the seat. You didn't press it, not wanting to seem desperate or confused. This almost became a normal thing, every friday night. There'd be some party, you'd get to go, but Toji didn't try to kiss you anymore. He didn't act any different towards you, but he wouldn't touch you. Had you honestly hurt his feelings that bad where he was afraid to touch you now?

Friday, 11:47 PM

By the fourth friday of him not touching you in any way at all, you took matters into your own hands. As soon as he put the car in park, you climbed over into his lap, gripping onto his shirt desperately as you pressed your lips against his. You whimpered in delight when you felt his large hands settle at your waist, fingertips pushing into your skin. Instead of him returning your kiss in earnest though, he pushed you back, looking at you in an almost confused way. "What's gotten into you all the sudden?"

Your cheeks flared with embarassment, and you weren't even sure how to react right now. "I...I'm sorry, I..." He sighed heavily while turning his head and opening the car door. "Look, I like you but you basically accused me of doing something to you. Thats pretty shitty. You know how much trouble I could get into for some shit like that? You drank too much, and I put you to bed." "I truly didn't mean it like that." You pleaded as he placed you out of the car before getting out. Your short frame stared up to him nervously as he stood up and ran a hand over his face, sighing out in the process. "Please, Toji, I was still mostly asleep when I messaged you, so I wasn't thinking properly." You basically begged, reaching out and holding his hand with both of yours. You did really like this guy, and ruining it already was torturous. He seemed to ponder in his mind, his expression changing slightly as if trying to decide how to proceed from here. "You really want me to kiss you again?"

You nodded quickly, your eyes searching between his as he looked down to you. "Your parents home?" "No, they're out of town again for a couple weeks." "If I come inside again, you're not gonna panic if you wake up tomorrow with some headache, right?" "No, no of course not."

Even if you did wake up feeling like shit again, you certainly weren't going to say anything to him. The last few times you woke up from attending the parties, you hadn't been sore or felt weird. You also had made sure to drink way less than you initially did on the first party night. It was probably just too much alcohol.

Toji brought you another cup of hot tea, you and you fondly watched him sit down next to you on the couch. The butterflies in your stomach were strong as he placed an arm along the back of the couch behind your head, and you couldn't help but scoot a little closer to him, wnting to be against him if possible. Seeing your actions, he smirked and gestured you closer, now wrapping an arm around your waist to hold you close. 

"Thank you." you softly said, resting your head onto him.  "For what?" "Staying with me. I've just been a little lonely lately, and I don't want to lose you either." He smirked while holding you closer to him. "Trust me, I don't plan on leaving your side anytime soon at all."

"Just relax. It might hurt just cause you've never done anything before, but thats normal. The more we do it, the less it will hurt and better it will feel. I promise."

As Toji crawled over you in your bed, your heart beat against the inside of your chest. You weren't sure if you really wanted this right now, but what were you supposed to do otherwise? If you turned him down, he might lose interest. And with the recent move, losing your friends and your parents never being home, the last thing you wanted was to be alone. Toji had been nothing but nice to you since your first day in the new school. Putting out for him shouldn't be that big of a deal. It's just sex, teenagers do it all the time. But why did it feel so, scary?

After he had started making out with you on the couch, you felt this aching desire in your core that you couldn't explain. When Toji's hand came in between your legs and felt the warm, damp fabric, he said it was time for you two to just break the ice, cause you clearly wanted him in this way.

You stared up at the ceiling in the dark, your eyes trying to focus on anything. Quietly wiping some of the tears from your cheeks, you wondered, was it supposed to hurt? Was it supposed to make you feel, used? You imagined it was supposed to be a little more, romantic. Well, he did say he was bigger than average, and you heard that the first time is kinda painful cause it's new, so, maybe that's all it was. Looking over to Toji, you studied his sleeping form, still embarrassed that the two of you were naked and up against each other. He did have an arm wrapped around your waist, and his fingers held softly into your skin. The smell of sex was still in the air, and it wasn't pleasent as you had always imagined it. You've snuck some romance novels into your collection of books over the past year, curiosity of intimacy pulling you in, cause you wanted to know what it was like to be in a real relationship To be mature and have fun, casual sex like a normal teenager. 

Fucking hormones.

The way the words described how someone's first time might be seemed to be an overdramatic lie now. Maybe it was your own fault for imagining it to play out like some fairytale. You were kind of excited for that big high that seemed to elevate women from this plane of existence, but, it never happened. Toji certainly got his, there was clear evidence of that, a mess he obviously didn't care to clean up from you. Wait, you weren't that ignorant to how babies were made. Oh, fuck. You quickly sat up, breath nearly escaping you as you started to panic. You had already been on your period for a year or so, and obviously that meant you could get pregnant. Pregnant, at 14? What a fucking disgrace you'd be to your parents! You already just started having sex with this guy you recently met. What was wrong with you!? "Oh god, oh god!" You cried out, clutching your hand over your chest as you feared what might be happening inside your body this moment. Toji groaned and looked up at you with an aggravated yet concerned look. "What? What's wrong?" "I-I could be pregnant!" You whined, whole body shaking with that terrible idea. You were too young to have a kid. You'd have to drop out of school, have to figure out how to be a mom, you're be such a degenerate to your family. The humiliation!

"Oh, shit, I meant to give you something for later anyway." He said with little worry, like this wasn't some big deal. He rolled over and sat up from the bed, grabbing his pants from where he tossed them over your desk chair. "Here. Just take this." He offered, handing a small pill to you. "A, drug?" You stammered, looking at it in confusion. "It's a morning after pill. Keeps you from getting pregnant." He gestured with it, and you took it carefully, trying to understand how a pill could stop such a thing. "Why is it called a morning after pill?" "Uh, cause ya' usually take it in the morning after fucking through the night." Your cheeks flashed but you stuffed the pill in your mouth, enough saliva building from your panic that you could just swallow it as is. "And just like that, no problems." He chuckled while  setting his pants back down and messing with something near your desk. He finally got back into bed, his larger form crawling over yours, making you cower down into the blankets as he planted kisses on your neck and chest. "Let's get as much use out of that pill as possible." You tried to smile in want as his hand came up between your legs, preparing you to take him again. You wanted to feel mature and interested in all this, but in reality, it felt off putting. Probably just cause it was new and you weren't used to it. Everyone who ever talked about having sex seemed to not be able to get enough of it. Like it was as needed as eating and drinking was. You just had to get used to it. More practice. So, you certainly weren't going to turn Toji down. At some point you knew you'd have to start loving it as much as everyone else, and how the women in your hidden romance novels loved it. Though you couldn't stop the tears from flowing as pain rattled your lower half. Patience, you just needed patience. Surely, Toji wasn't hurting you on purpose. But you didn't want to make him feel bad and tell him to stop when he was clearly enjoying himself and saying how fucking good you felt. But... It hurt. It fucking hurt so bad. A deep ache in your guts that just seemed to intensify with every passing second. Every pained whimper that escaped your lips was immediately matched with Toji's low groans and deep moans of pleasure. Yet, he'd also plant gentle kisses to your teary cheeks, praising your intimate areas for making him feel so good. It made your heart flutter, but you couldn't stop from digging your nails into his back, silently begging him to hurry up and be done because you felt like you were going to break. He lifted your legs up to his waist, encouraging you to wrap them around his body so he could go even deeper but you internally sobbed at the thought. Of course, you noticed how much more he seemed to enjoy it when he could basically get as much of you as he wanted. You suffered through it for that reason, and that reason only. You liked knowing he was happy, liked knowing you could make him happy. You had his attention and you were doing something that he praised you for.

Unfortunately, you weren't aware of just how many other guys attentions you had in this moment. It might have just been you and Toji alone in the room, but the little camera he had placed on your desk broadcasted this moment to whoever was in his circle. They sent texts to Toji, offering their small wads of cash for a night with you, his new little toy. Some even in groups of two or more, the ones that liked to take turns on a girl's unconscious body. He'd get to them later, deciding who would pay the best, and you'd be none the wiser.

"Good morning, beautiful." Tojis deep voice pulled you from your exhaustion, and your dazed features made him chuckle. "Sleep well?" Your vision focused on him, and you offered a weakened smile. Honestly, no. It feels like your insides were punched for hours, leaving you battered and bruised in a place you couldn't comfort.

But as he gently kissed your lips, and held a hand softly to your cheek, the pain eased up a little. "You are so perfect." He breathed out quietly, moving his lips up to your forehead. Warmth filled your cheeks as he lay next to you, holding you with comfort against his warm body. "Honestly, I've never enjoyed someone as much as you." You wanted to have some witty comeback, that of course you were the best, trying to sound confident, but it was hard to speak right now. Probably because you just started crying. Tojis face softened as you just let your emotions out. "What's wrong?" He asked gently, holding you even closer. "It, it all just hurts. And I'm confused, my head is full of worry." "Worry? About what?" "I don't know." You admitted, tucking your self into Tojis arms. Honestly you didn't know. Everything felt weird. You were supposed to like this, weren't you? You liked him, he definitely liked you too, and he was super hot. So weren't you supposed to be madly in love?

I hope you enjoyed! I'm so sorry this is a week late, life got in the way. I wante this first chapter to only have two parts, but I didn't want this last part to be extremely long, so I decided to make one more part after this. So there will be three in total. The next part will happen this week so Im not so far behind on my personal schedule.

Comments and likes are truly appreciated!! <3

[junosmindpalace]

Hello! I absolutely love all your Dr Stone works!! Especially about Senku, so now I want to make a request. Can you do Senku fluff alphabet? Senku and reader are in relationship. I am not fluent in English, I hope you understood everything, thank you!!

hi there! thank you for your request! i’ve never done a fluff alphabet omg this was so fun. these are pretty much the same everywhere i looked but i specifically took questions from @ arlertdarling !

synopsis: your relationship with senku from a-z.

( A ) AFFECTION — how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?

senku’s biggest and most prominent love language is very obviously acts of service, and even then they can be seemingly indirect or misleading. he typically frames the things he does as doing them for his own benefit, but they obviously benefit you as well. he’s a little more open with doing you favors or kind acts for no particular reason other than to help you or make you smile just because you two are so close and know each other so well.

perhaps if you’ve been together for a while, he’ll allow some physical affection from you, but typically never initiates it himself outside of gently tugging your hand to lead you somewhere or grabbing your shoulder(s), placing a hand on your lower back or what not to guide you elsewhere. he also tends to get more physical if you are/were in danger for obvious reasons. it's more so reassurance for him that you’re alright and being right there to help immediately in case something is wrong.

words of affirmation is a close second in terms of love languages. he can be really encouraging with his words when you need a pick me up, and really moving when you just need some reassurance when things feel too hectic.

( B ) BEST FRIEND — what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?

your friendship developed from your occasional bump ins when he’d be in the middle of an experiment. you’d always look on at him in awe, and eventually invited yourself to sit and watch and ask him questions, which he had no qualms at all with answering. from there you would watch and help out with his experiments more regularly.

he’s not a friend that's too high maintenance. whether you come to visit him in the science club room every day or once every couple of weeks, senku doesn’t treat you any less like a friend, or at the very least a well acquainted schoolmate. he’s fun to be around, however. someone you can go to if you’re bored and will always encourage you in your own hobbies. it’s your mutual dedication and passion for the things you love that make you two so close.

( C ) CUDDLES — do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?

not a big cuddler, but he can get a little clingy when he’s sleeping. he tends to curl in on himself, but if you happen to be in the vicinity, he might subconsciously reach for you. at best, he feels comfortable enough to lay his head on your thighs or stomach with an arm wrapped loosely around your waist or on top of your stomach. you make sure to avert any sort of conversation related to this when he wakes up, subtly maneuvering him off your lap as he sits up with a drowsy look on his face as to avoid embarrassing him or making him uncomfortable. you can tell he sometimes realizes what happened, but never outwardly says so--and never tells you to push him away, either.

( D ) DOMESTIC — do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?

not an incredibly prevalent thought. at best its fleeting if hes thinking about it at all. he’s probably very indifferent to the idea of marriage and having children, and even simply living a simple existence just isn’t his style.

in terms of chores, he probably does them fairly well, except it would probably take him a couple of reminders and has a bad habit of leaving messes from all the time he spent alone preoccupied with his experiments. however the fact that he managed his home by himself a lot probably means he’s good at doing them, but like any person, it’s probably a pain for him.

( E ) ENDING — if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?

probably finds a suitable time to talk to you somewhere private and flat out tells you he wants to end things. it seems harsh, but there’s no reason to beat around the bush. his tone of voice and expression are far from emotionless, however. he keeps himself composed and steady for the most part, but you can see that it also pains him from the slight waver and strain in his voice, and from the creases in between his brows and lines on his forehead. he makes sure to do his best to let you down as gently as he thinks he can and doesn’t judge you for any sort of emotions you feel or express toward him.

( F ) FIANCÉ — how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?

again, marriage is probably a very fleeting thought for senku and something he’s for the most part indifferent toward. he doesn’t feel commitment needs to be cemented through a ceremony or new marriages titles or a piece of paper; he cares about you and loves you, and doesn’t need a ring on his finger to remind him to be unwaveringly loyal. maybe would make fun of some wedding and marriage traditions, but even though he himself would probably never suggest marriage, if it means something to you, he doesn’t see the big deal in going through with it--though he probably wouldn’t be all for a ceremony or anything too grand.

( G ) GENTLE — how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?

it really depends on the circumstances. sometimes senku can come off somewhat harsh to a person who isn’t all that familiar with him, but it typically isnt his intention, especially not with you. for the most part your relationship is mostly comprised of teasing and playful banter, but when you tend to get more personal and sensitive, the gruffness in his voice quiets down and becomes a lot gentler.

this also goes with physical touch. he sometimes tends to just randomly pull at you to follow him certain places, and of course if you’re in any potential danger, but his touch can also be super soft and reassuring, typically when you’re expressing insecurity or hard feelings of some kind.

( H ) HUGS — do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?

like said with cuddling, not a big hugger. grand pda is just not his thing, but he won’t always refuse it. if its you, he’s probably a little more willing to be touchy, but it doesn’t happen all too often. most of the time its you initiating the hug, whether its draping over him mid experiment or hugging him from behind as he takes note of something, and usually he doesnt comment on it or move away, simply letting himself exist in your arms as he does whatever he’s doing and continuing your conversation normally. he might sometimes rub his hand over yours or place his arm under your elbow when he turns around to face you with a fond gaze even despite his smirk and teasing tone.

( I ) I LOVE YOU — how fast do they say the L-word?

he has yet to say it outright as a single phrase, but its obvious that he says it in more indirect ways. in the kind things he does for you, in the concern he expresses when you feel low about something or might be in danger, in the ways he motivates you when you feel hopeless and insecure. and when you teasingly call him out for all of these kind things, he scoffs and rolls his eyes and will occasionally say things along the lines of “i love when you ____”. still, it’s rare even if he says this, and he’s usually very nonchalant when he does, but you can take notice of the slight shyness in his voice from the way it quiets just a slight bit and his eyes hold a softer expression.

still, it takes him a bit to get to this point. a lot of familiarizing yourselves with one another, getting more personal and proving yourself over and over as someone reliable and admirable makes it easier and easier for senku to express these feelings for you. and though he doesn’t say the L word out loud, he definitely thinks it with every impressive feat you manage to accomplish or witty remark you make that only solidify his reasoning as to why he’s with you in the first place.

( J ) JEALOUSY — how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?

not incredibly often, but it’s not unheard of. it’s mostly when hes already overwhelmed with a lot on his plate, and seeing someone chatting you up, even if there wasn’t any flirty intention behind their words or actions, just irritates senku, and he’ll usually break it up by yelling at them to focus up on their work or guiding you away to help him with something else, calling over his shoulder “shouldn’t you be doing ____? how about getting on that instead of distracting our crew?”

it can be subtle, but it can also be very obvious, which leads to people making some teasing remarks toward him for it, but he mostly ignores them. same with classmates, he’ll just redirect their attentions away from you and swoop in to show you something of his own.

( K ) KISSES — what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?

like hugs, he’s not the biggest kisser, and he’s not the one initiating them. he’s sort of (very) awkward when it comes to kissing in the early stages of your relationship, and it takes a good amount of time before he eventually stops stiffening as much over a kiss on the cheek.

of course you don’t force him into anything he’s uncomfortable with, and have no problem not kissing him, but you can tell from the way he’s more relaxed when you lean over to give him a quick peck when he has a smirk or a pout on the lips that he’s grown to like them just a slight bit on occasion.

if he had to decide on a favorite spot to receive kisses, he’d maybe say his temple. if he were to ever initiate a kiss for you, it would be somewhere less noticeable and in private, such as on your inner wrist or knuckles.

( L ) LITTLE ONES — how are they around children?

so good. he’s stupidly good with them. he doesn’t even do anything consciously to try to appeal to them for the most part; they’re just drawn to his experiments and funny words, and of course senku for the most part indulges them, so he becomes popular pretty quickly.

it’s incredibly endearing to see him interact and form a relationship with the children of ishigami village, watching their curious heads peek from behind his shoulder or back at his experiments and petting their hair when they crowd around him, eagerly asking to play or show them more cool modern inventions.

sometimes he might whisper in their ears to go over to you to watch you do whatever it is you’re most skilled at, and you know immediately whose responsible for the sudden eager crowd of little people around you when your gaze meets senku’s and he shoots you a smirk, with you rolling your eyes in retaliation.

( M ) MORNING — how are mornings spent with them?

maaaaybe slightly controversial take but i think it takes him a bit to properly wake himself up. he’s pretty groggy in the mornings and isn’t fully ready to start the day until an hour or two after he wakes up. however, i can see the sleepiness fading from his system a lot quicker than it does for most people, so if you were to see him at school in the mornings or in a classroom, he’s annoyedly outgoing and cheerful for your taste. still, if you were to spend your mornings together even before all that, you’re usually spending them in silence or having quiet and short conversation.

( N ) NIGHT — how are nights spent with them?

arguably worse than mornings, but this time he’s keeping you awake. he doesn’t go to bed till probably around midnight, and most of his studying time is probably spent in the evenings. if either of you are sleeping over, usually senku has his nose in a book till his eyes get too heavy and he puts it down to rest. he either joins you already curled into bed passed out, or you sit beside him doing whatever you do in the evenings as he sleeps. nights are not all that eventful for you personally, it’s mostly just being in each others’ presence while doing your own things, with occasional conversation here and there.

( O ) OPEN — when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly.

the more personal details about himself probably come later. definitely not an all at once person, and most of the time you just have to let him come to revealing stuff on his own terms. when he does, it’s during a time you’re being very sensitive and personal with each other, and it sort of slips out. either then or at another random time where he reveals something new about himself or his background very nonchalantly. you don’t usually call it out, but you’ll try to ask some questions to get him to expand and tuck the knowledge away.

again, he’s not the emotional type, so when it comes to himself and his more personal aspects, it can take a little longer to get information out of him compared to other stuff, such as his passion for and knowledge of science.

( P ) PATIENCE — how easily angered are they?

senku himself has said (if i remember correctly), that he gets irritated and is just good at disguising it. for him to be genuinely angry, however, i think would take quite a bit. he can be over the top in how he reacts when he’s annoyed, but it doesn’t come from a place of genuine rage.

i think in order to anger him, you’d have to insult something he deeply cares about repeatedly, or threaten it. and even then he’s usually good at not letting himself go crazy over it.

he’s rarely ever angry with you, if not at all. you’re both familiar with your banter and teasing, and you know what lines not to cross or not to take certain comments too personally.

( Q ) QUIZZES — how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?

generally very good at remembering things about you. you don’t expect him to remember every slight off hand comment you make, but he often manages to surprise you when he brings up details that even you forgot you ever shared with him.

he cares about you a lot, and though he’s already pretty attentive, it only enhances when it comes to you discussing aspects about yourself. he’s interested in learning about you, from your hobbies to your fondest memory. whatever it may be, he usually is able to recall it.

( R ) REMEMBER — what is their favourite moment in your relationship?

he likes any sort of moment where he’s spending time with you working on an experiment or discussing something science related. working on the thing he’s most passionate about with the person he loves and cares for the most? those are his favorite times, especially since you’re always so enthusiastic about them, asking him question after question and helping him complete the experiment.

he also likes being able to indulge, and you encouraging him and taking an interest yourself is something he really appreciates. he also thinks it’s incredibly endearing to see you so passionate and curious, and very attractive when you explain your own research and demonstrate your own knowledge and skill. he never forgets how much you contribute to his own growth because of this.

( S ) SECURITY — how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?

not overly protective unless you were in some sort of danger. even if there was potential for you to get hurt, he still isn’t the most overbearing in his concern. of course, he still likes to do whatever he can to prevent any danger (though he knows you’re capable of handling yourself, it’s more so for his own peace of mind and he just can’t admit to it), and so he does insist you wear protective gear and gives you tools to help you do your job more efficiently in the stone world.

he wouldn’t want you to step in and prevent him from doing anything, but the best way you could protect him is in the same way he protects you—by having his back. being there to provide him with the resources and support he needs in any given situation, especially dangerous ones or endeavors he very passionate about.

( T ) TRY — how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?

unless you’re a person who doesn’t really like to celebrate relationship milestone or events, senku will make at least some sort of effort to commemorate the moments somehow. again, it’s through more subtle and indirect means, but eventually you’re able to piece together why he seems to be a little nicer and more sentimental on those kinds of days.

gifts are also not always the most straightforward and are usually practical and science related, hand crafted by senku himself, which makes you appreciate them all the more. sometimes they can be too straightforward and basic, however. but if he knows there’s something specific you’ve been indecisive about getting, or a certain place you’ve been meaning to visit, he might surprise you with a trip or take that push to make that purchase for you.

he goes about his everyday tasks outside of science like any other person—or any other teen. he does well in school and helps out around the household with chores.

( U ) UGLY — what would be some bad habits of theirs?

can maybe get a little too distanced from his emotions. he has a bad habit of breaking intimate moments in favour of teasing, but it mostly stems from his own discomfort toward that sort of stuff. he gets better at handling it further into your relationship, but it’s a habit he still has trouble completely breaking down.

he also has a habit of getting too caught up in his experiments. there are certain days where all he wants to do is work, and sometimes that means making the people around him join in and help him. once he’s got his mind on something he’s determined to see it through, and this typically happened often where he wouldn’t pull away from the experiment or project until he gave himself a designated break or was forced to stop due to external factors.

( V ) VANITY — how concerned are they with their looks?

next to not at all. senku can understand wanting to look presentable, but the last thing on his mind is whether or not he should cut his hair a certain way or wear his shirt in a certain style (he’s never expressed a problem with his cowlicks).

he’s probably never stressed out that much about the way he’s perceived in terms of personality either. perhaps only when it came to testing his physical limits or dressing up in clothes that aren’t his own personal style (as seen in the wardrobe montage). but overall he’s not hyperfiaxfing on it, not even to try to impress you (he naturally cleans up well).

his close friends might tell you that he tends to subconsciously adjust his clothes or straighten his back when you walk into a room, however.

( W ) WHOLE — would they feel incomplete without you?

i don’t think so. senku has his own passions and goals and many other people who share them and that he’s close with. he definitely doesn’t need one specific person to make him feel like himself, and that’s one thing you greatly admired about him.

still, just because he thinks he can get by without you doesn’t mean he wants to. he’s always trying to include you in aspects of his life, and you’ve become such a big part of it that it would take him a long time to actually heal from not having you around.

he can’t deny that though it doesn’t feel soul crushing to be apart from you for so long, he can feel a more comfortable and reassuring feeling when he’s by your side.

( X ) XTRA — a random headcanon for them!

he’s really good at impressions thanks to his dad. it’s one of those habits that he really didn’t like but ended up rubbing off on him from how often byakuya did them, and every time he catches himself doing an impression or talking to himself in another voice, he physically stops whatever he’s doing and groans about how he “sounds just like my old man” or “is turning into my old man”.

it makes you laugh though, so he doesn’t feel as embarrassed doing them when he’s voicing a hypothetical situation of some sorts when he’s explaining something to do. if anything, your laughter only encourages him.

( Y ) YUCK — what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?

a person who lacks ambition and curiosity. he doesn’t get how he could relate to a person like that at all, let alone spend the rest of his life with them. his partner doesn’t need to be as fiercely passionate about science as he is, but he wouldn’t want a partner that has absolutely no big interests hobbies or skills. those kinds of people seem like the ones he’d be least compatible with.

( Z ) ZZZ — what are their sleep habits?

most of the time tries to get at least 8 hours of sleep, but sometimes tends to get a little less. it’s important for him to have a healthy sleeping cycle/schedule so his brain and body can work to their full capacity. he can still function without a lot of it, but it’s harder on his mental and physical strength, so it’s even more important that he gets enough to keep him going throughout the day.

very rarely pulls an all nighter. has definitely pulled a couple, but it’s not often enough to have his body adjust to simply two hours of sleep without any side effects.

like i said before, he tends to cuddle in on himself, wrapping the blanket over his shoulders so he’s completely covered. cannot sleep well in the heat, so he’d rather be freezing at night. adjusts himself maybe a couple of times throughout the night, from curling against your leg to turning his back toward you.

[thedeviljudges]

Hi Noel. We used to be mutuales back in the good old days. I hope you are taking care of yourself.

I am having a fucking horrible time. I am devastated. Even though I moved on from fandom so long ago, I always cared about Liam and I always will.

I think one of the least surprising things for me and I guess for you as well is the reaction so many people are having. They act as if their hatred for him is new and based on recent events but we know that shit runs deep and is old. I’m not even surprised by their hypocrisy because they are all about holding people accountable for their mistakes as they weren’t the biggest fucking bullies to him every single day since day one, why aren’t they holding themselves accountable for being fucking horrible people and being part of the problem? Many of us would defend him and point all of this out too and we knew back then how much he was hated on for literally existing within the band. He couldn’t post selfies because they would accuse him wanting attention and he would get bullied. He couldn’t tweet any simple and insignificant thing because they would hate on him. They were constantly body shaming him. They hated when he would show off his talent in concerts. He literally couldn’t have a fucking break because his existence alone was enough to fueled their hatred towards him. The way they had a fucking field day bullying him and body shaming him when they filmed you & I video. It was constant. It doesn’t matter and it didn’t matter what he did because they simply just hated him and would let him know. Not only were they a huge component of the system that messed him up over the years, not only did they bullied him back then, but now too even in the wake of his death. I never understood it back then and I don’t understand it now, how they could do all of that and continue to do so while demanding accountability and who knows what else as if they are deserving of anything from him or his loved ones when they were fucking horrible to people since the very first day of 1D.

Anyway, to anyone who is hurting and is grieving him, do so, and do so without holding back, do so because no one has the right to police your feelings, and fuck anyone who makes you feel bad for grieving Liam.

hi, babe. i hope you've been well all this time. 🥺

tbh it's hard to add anything because i agree completely. liam was always the one that went through the worst comments (aside from the racism zayn faced) and treatment within the band. people were always so cruel to him for no reason. and no matter what he did, the fandom always found fault with it. it makes me especially sick to see how twitter was relentless with their bullying the week before all of this happened. it was nonstop and then now to see them all pivot and upset... hypocrites.

and all i keep thinking about is how unfair it was because if any of the boys did what he did (and have done), everyone's been so forgiving. but not for liam.

liam loved one direction with his whole heart. he kept the band alive during their activities and long after by mere mention and discussion and knew how special it was for fans and himself. he was the reason i got into one direction, which i think is why it's also hitting me so hard. he's the first video i saw walking the streets of the us in 2012, who stopped for a few fans. he was so kind and loving, and it's incredible how many people in the industry have commented how lovely he truly was.

i feel a lot of things still, so it's really difficult to put it all into words in a single post. but liam was so talented and the fact that fandom never recognized the brilliance of it will forever hang over one direction now.

i truly hope people take this as a lesson to be kind; everyone preaches about it so much - and you're right. they want accountability but can't even recognize that their own actions warrant accountability, too. the callousness that has infected the internet and fandoms will truly be its downfall. there are so many of us who talk about how it's not the same, and it will never be the same again if we don't start having compassion and love even in the face of difficulty and misconduct.

[suhnflowerstay]

The Way You Make Me Feel

A/N: this is a rework of an old fic and i love johnny <3

TW: self esteem issues, self bullying kinda?

fat/plus size gn!reader x johnny suh

WC: 983

“Gross,” you said, looking at yourself in the mirror. 

You just tried on the 6th potential outfit for your dinner with Johnny tonight, but every single one had something wrong with it. One was too tight, in a bad way. One was too big and made you look bigger than you were. Every single piece of clothing that touched your skin made you want to leave the house less and less. It was just one of those days.

You’ve always had a wishy washy relationship with your body and overall appearance. You aren’t small or petite and because of that, it’s led to you feeling a little bit insecure every once in a while. Especially while dating Johnny. Someone as alluring and desired as Johnny dating you made you question his life choices. 

Unfortunately, you weren’t the only one questioning his choices. You had consistently noticed all the stares you two received when displaying any kind of affection in public. They were looks of surprise and sometimes even contempt. Lots of times, waitresses would hit on him right in front of you before he made it clear he was with you. You never got used to the shock on people’s faces when realizing he would rather have you than them. Some looks just screamed “He could do better.” You did your best to ignore them, but your best wasn't enough. Johnny never noticed them, of course. He remained perfectly oblivious to any in person awkwardness that arose from him being distractingly in love with you in public. Dating an idol also opened up a whole new avenue of scrutiny. Johnny urged you to never look at what people said online, but sometimes, curiosity won you over.

You shed the outfit you had on, deciding to give up. Wearing only your underwear, you collapsed backwards onto your bed, losing all hope of finding the right outfit. The sound of the front door opening was not enough to make you move, and you stayed where you were, rotting on the bed and staring at the ceiling.

“Honey, I’m ho- whoa. Well, as hot as you look in nothing but your undies, I think the restaurant has rules about dress code,” he joked.

“Can we just stay in tonight?” you groaned, turning over in bed, back now facing Johnny.

“Y/N-” he starts, making his way to you, “this was supposed to be a surprise, but I got us reservations at your favorite restaurant, and we got our favorite table!” he said, trying to get you excited about going out.

“We can just go some other time,” you mumbled, unmotivated.

“Is everything alright, my love?” he sat down next to you, pulling your arm, forcing you to sit up next to him. You buried your face in his chest, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Why are you with me?” you blurted out.

“Um- is that a real question? Where is this coming from?” Johnny furrowed his brows.

“Yes. It’s a real question, so please give me a real answer- why are you with me?” you asked, more insistent this time.

“Why wouldn’t I be with you?” he replied in disbelief, “You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. Everyday I wake up in absolute awe knowing that I am lucky enough to be with you. You are so incredibly beautiful on the inside as well, and that is such a rare trait to find nowadays. You are unbelievably kind, funny, charming, and insanely irresistible. You should know that by now! Remember how I told you that I couldn’t keep my hands off of you on our first date?” he ranted passionately before softening up. “Where’s this coming from, baby? Did someone say something to you?” he asked, taking your face in his hands, searching for any clues.

“I just-” you sigh, “I see all the stares we get when we walk down the street, and I see all these gorgeous people who you could be with. You could be with someone way better. Someone more talented and more beautiful. Someone who isn't… well, someone who isn't fat,” you finished, your eyes darting to the floor.  

And like that, Johnny understood. He finally got what was going on. He lifted your chin and kissed you like his life depended on it. It was full of desire and nearly animalistic. He didn’t want to stop, but you needed to breathe eventually. he rested his forehead against yours, catching his breath.

“You being fat or bigger doesn’t make you less beautiful, just like anyone else isn't more beautiful for being smaller. I love you more than anything, and your size has nothing to do with the way you make me feel. You make fireworks go off inside me just when you smile or laugh. No one else could do that. It breaks my heart that you don’t see how perfect you are to me, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you see yourself the way I see you,” he said, giving you another kiss, softer and sweeter than the first but just as thrilling, if not more.

“Why don’t I order some food for us, and we’ll watch your favorite movies?” he suggested, giving your hand a squeeze.

“You’re the best.”

“And you’re the bestest!” he booped your nose. 

“That’s not even a word,” you giggled.

“Well, it is now!” he exclaimed, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you onto his lap. 

You didn’t know what made you so special in Johnny’s eyes, but you did know that the way he looked at you even as you sat there without even having proper clothes on was enough to remind you that you were special. 

He pulled you into his arms and held you all night, sprinkling little kisses now and then, making you feel as beautiful as he knows you are.

[bekaterrier]

Happy Audio Drama Sunday! I hope you're all taking care of yourselves and being kind to yourselves. 💜

@ameliapodcast S5 Part 2: When I was talking about S5 Part 1, I didn't mention the music, which has been absolutely incredible. Changing the theme music to match the episode's theme/time period is genius, and so well done! The idea of telling their stories in reverse is so interesting, and it's really having me think about how each disappearance would have impacted the ones we heard before. I still technically have 2-3 episodes left of this part, but I just had to say something now! 🐦‍🔥

@storiesfromylelmore Episode 212 - Being Puce: Season finale time!! I always love how straight up Keryth and Rion are with Elas. We won't give you permission to bully us just so you don't feel as bad about it. Good for them! And then their background adventure with the river monster was hilarious. That was such a great conversation between Elas and their mom. I think we've all had feelings like that before. And then Elas took a small step! They said no to Voran! I'm so proud of them!! Ruvyn knowing everything from their podcast and sitting on it is kinda terrifying. I'm sad that the season's over, but it was SO GOOD, and I can't wait for the next one!! ✨

@forgedbondspod Chapter 7: Dite and Phae texting through the first of many wedding rehearsals is adorable. Also as someone planning their own wedding, multiple wedding rehearsals sounds like a nightmare... I appreciate Calliope sharing the details of Zeus' glare for us! Also I love how the respective besties are so excited that Dite and Phae are becoming friends. The sound design for the forge scene was very good. 💍

@vestaclinicpod Episode 17 - Drifter: A new species this episode, Gralli from Pluto! I burst out laughing when I heard what this episode's patient had chosen for syr name - Goggles! Too cute! I too would like to hear more about Faye's family. More Professor backstory!! Finally!! It sounds like quite the mystery...I have many thoughts (mostly silly ones) about where they might have stored their consciousness... Also a very poignant line from Faye, "When is grief ever convenient?" ⚕️

@hinaypod Episode 49.2 - Snow Village: A flashback episode to early Donner and Murphy, so of course it made me sad. They love each other so much! But they can't work (then)! They (possibly) pretend they don't remember the super deep, emotional drunken conversation they had! Ahhh! 💔

@hauntnowpod Season 1: I am loving this ghost story! It was so cool thinking back to The Narrator and realizing she was telling the story to Eulalie. I like that we heard from both Eulalie and Frankie's perspectives. The sound design was really cool, conveying so many places and feelings, and the state that Frankie was in. The acting was also fantastic; I had to stop doing dishes and hold tears in when Parker was begging Eulalie to wake up. I hope they're able to save Frankie from the house and the ghost hunters! 👻

@monkeymanproductions' Waiting For October S1 Episode 4.5 - Frederick: We got to follow Frederick as they went on an adventure trying to find their place! One of the lines at the beginning brought me immediately to tears, "I wish Yvonne had stayed. She smells like home." 😭 Ishani was very good at bringing this kitty to life, and I had a lot of fun hearing the different shenanigans Frederick was getting into. I just hope they remember their way back and forth between worlds! 🐈

[crankycalcifer]

Trans People Should Stay Alive Because I Love Them

A queer survival guide from a scared, angry, queer therapist

Everything is bullshit and I hate everything.

Let me level with you, the past nine days have been a waking nightmare and my nervous system has not really been calm since November. I don’t have any hope or veneered positivity left. I wish I had something I could say that would make the world kinder and more gentle for you. I am not sure I do. But, I have read a lot of books and done a lot of therapy and been in school forever, so I will offer what I have.

Hil Malatino, a trans researcher, explores suicide (and other bad experiences) that often come with being trans but rarely get talked about in his book “Side Effects: On Being Trans and Feeling Bad”. Pulling from some other big voices in Queer and Gender Studies, he argues that we can understand the elevated rate at which trans people kill themselves and experience suicidal ideation as a result of not seeing a future for themselves where they will be cared for, supported, and given the resources they need. Said a different way, people stay alive if they believe they have a reasonable chance of living a good life.

With the current onslaught of messages and government activities targeting and villainizing trans people, it feels easy to believe the lie that the future ahead of us will not be worth living. I want to acknowledge the fear and pain that we all feel. That fear and pain is real.

I also want to offer the future I see for us.

I spend most of my time either with trans people or thinking about trans people. I have lived my life in a trans body and have learned to see the world through a trans perspective. First and foremost, I love trans people. I love them deeply. I love them completely; for all their faults. I love what they do for and to the world. When I think of the future, I see it full of happy, old, creative trans people.

In a time of incredible cruelty, I want to write a love letter.

Trans people are strong. We knit ourselves together with bravery. We take pain and transmute it into golden authenticity that captivates and encourages. We remind all those around us that they too can be their truest selves. We clothe ourselves with joy. We intimidate. We challenge, we poke, we prod. We have been in every meaningful space, fought for every meaningful change, have shaped history itself in ways that have been felt and will be felt for as long as humans breathe. We have never failed. We don’t give up. We fight unceasingly.

Trans people are sacred. Trans people, throughout time and every culture, have existed- usually in places of honor. We are the priests, the witches, the healers. We stand outside of the known and hold the door open to possibilities. We speak in whispers, in shouts, in prayers to the moon and each other and divinity itself. We know the shadow and carry death with us. We are not afraid to be hated, to be scorned, to be cast out. Our people are spirit and flesh. They cannot kill an idea. They cannot kill hope. We know the light of creation, recreation, and resurrection. We choose life so ardently, we cannot accept it in half measure. We will cut off whatever does not serve us if it means we get to live, and we will live and live and live.

Trans people are wise. We carry knowledge in our scars and braids. We carry the light of generations past, of closets and parades, of hospitals and pink triangles, we hold love- we know love- in ways that others can only see dimly. We have fought for every inch of ourselves and our life and know the rough edges of prison bars and the prick of sharp needles. You cannot scare us forever, for we are tempered in the world’s worst flame and come out flexible, clean, and refined. We bring balance, we speak peace, we see with vision unclouded by tricks and schemes. We tell the truth, speak truth to power, and govern ourselves. We can show you the way. We apologize when we cause harm. We hold ourselves accountable. We live with integrity.

Trans people are exquisitely human. We fart and burp and have body hair. We have sex and spend money in stupid ways and fight with each other. We wear silly clothes and say silly things and walk with an exaggerated sway in our hips. We name ourselves silly things, we call ourselves silly things, we make silly choices. We are not afraid to live, to experience life, to drink deeply- even if there are surprise chunks. We look at each other, giggle, and skinny dip in the lake. We reject what isn’t for us, we accept what is. We struggle and cry and get lost. Our voices shake, we shave our heads, we read lots of things. We are entirely mediocre, we are entirely extraordinary. We change and grow and defy expectations or classification. We give each other permission. We get fat or get skinny, we paint our nails, we pierce things, we draw all over our bodies. We let ourselves love what we love, hate what we hate, do what we need to do. We learn to live together. We take living seriously. We respect what matters. We put on our jester hats and jangle about in holy places. We sanctify.

Trans people create. Trans people push culture forward. We are all, every one of us, artists. We take what we have been given and turn it into something that feels like us. We see new things, we see better things. We birth new ideas, new experiences, new ways of being and doing. We look beyond what is, pulling from what has been, to generate what will be. We move and dance and breathe in color. We are original and we belong to each other. We recognize the light within us and see that light in each other. We listen to the rhythm of things and feel alive in the vibration. We do not stagnate, we do not spoil. We are eternal. We live boldly in the present moment, in a flash of blinding glory.

As I write this letter with my trans-colored acrylic nails, I think about how scared I am and, paradoxically, how sure I am that trans people will continue living lives that change the world for the better. I want to believe that each trans life is connected, like stars in a constellation, and that we can feel each other- even if only faintly. If that is true, I want to send you the love I have for you. I hope you feel it.

To my trans readers, I want to offer a two-part suggestion and make a promise.

I know how tired you might feel and how overwhelmed you might be. If you don’t have the space to try something else, skip this part. I trust you to know what you need.

If you have some space and resources available to you, I suggest that you find one person who can help keep you grounded and stable during this time. Find someone who sees you and can tell you the truth about how amazing you are. Find someone who loves you. Secondly, I suggest that you be that stable person for someone else. Our community is about giving love and receiving love. We do best when we link arms together.

Now my promise. I know we are seeing people and institutions fail us right now. It's almost too much to bear. But I can offer this promise: I will not stop fighting for trans people. I love trans people. I love them fervently and actionably. I want to do everything I can to create a world where trans people get to live lives that are good and worth living. I know there are many people like me out there too. You can find us if you look.

I don’t know much more than that. But I am going to stop writing now and stop doomscrolling the news because my husband is home and we are going to go and take our dog for a walk. Afterwards we are going to have dinner, something easy to make that we both like, and then play some video games. I will wake up tomorrow, as will you, and keep doing the work in front of me. I wish this future for you too, gentle reader. May you find the people who love you, feel the love we are all sending to you, have rejuvenating rest, and meaningful work to do. Trust yourself, find your people, reach out for help, be helpful.

I love you.

[sleepyserena]

demos i've finally gotten around to playing recently

steel judgment: what if ultrakill was a roguelite? you've got your dash and your parry and your style meter and weapons with cool alt-fires, but also a hub where you can buy new upgrades and unlock items after each run! the main mechanic is taunting enemies, which when killed, will give you health, and taunting augments your basic movement abilities if you time them after a taunt. really cool stuff! i am quite bad at it! game does not have a release date

metal eden: majoring in doom 2016/eternal, minoring in ghostrunner, this game struggles to run on my aging PC but it's still pretty cool. weapons feel fantastic and are appropriately punchy, but combat flow is a little weird in that i'm just running around waiting for my core cooldown so i can get my super punch back to strip armor, when i think i should just be shooting? i don't know, when a game introduces a mechanic to me, i want to use that mechanic as much as possible, sometimes to my own detriment. game comes out in Q3 2025

reignbreaker: isometric action roguelite, if you like hades, you'll like this. spray paint artstyle is really sweet, characters are... okay i suppose, not really compelled by any of them from the demo, and the main gameplay loop of keeping your combo up and balancing your fists and javelin is engaging and fun. and the full game is available now for only 10 bucks!

unbeatable: ohhhhhhhhhhh i have a bias because i backed this game on kickstarter in 2021, however i played the new demo (not white label) and it's soooo cool. each character has a distinct personality, presentation and cinematography is striking and evocative, there's side quests and minigames and optional dialogue everywhere. and that's just the story mode! there's also, ya know, the traditional arcade rhythm game mode, which is excellent. the only bug that bothers me is that the controller just... stops working in the arcade menu? other than that, pretty much flawless two button rhythm game, backed by an incredible soundtrack. game comes out sometime in 2025

haste: i think if i were to describe this game in one word, it's "joy". like woody from toy story said, it's not flying, it's falling with style! one of those games where it's easy to learn, hard to master. you run fast and you control your falls so that you hit the slopes of hills just right so you can gain even more speed! the levels are just challenging enough to make you think about your trajectory, but not to break your momentum. character art and colour palette is wonderful, dialogue is pretty charming, soundtrack is banging. bonus points for having unique dialogue specifically for the demo. genuinely a really good time! game is out now for about 20 bucks

peripeteia: immersive sim very much inspired by ye olde deus ex (no clear objective markers, complex mechanics, multiple ways of interacting with the world and accomplishing tasks, interesting worldbuilding and characters), you play as a cyborg woman waking up in a scrap pile in poland and scrape together whatever you can to survive. game is in early access, so it's a little barebones, costs about 30 bucks, but it was rejuvenating to play this kind of game again

--

playing through these demos today brought me back to when i was younger and i was browsing the PS3 store and downloading whatever demos were available, and my dad subsequently yelling at me for exceeding the data cap

i'm glad i got around to these, and i hope you check out some of them too

[vamptarotscam]

TW!!! honestly I just feel disgusted just how low she is to use r**e as an excuse just to make up lies and scam others. at first I thought why is she trauma dumping and saying things like I'll die if don't receive money but then when I saw another post of hers saying she's been se*ually abused I really had tears in my eyes because I have been forcefully gro*ed as well and mo**sted as well a lot and was genuinely wishing to donate to her and you know what I'm glad I waited because waking up to all this was quite a surprise. now I don't know if she really went through all of that or if she's lying as always because if she really did through all those traumatic events she would have at least shown proof or hospital bills after all her frequent hospital visits for which she asks for her innocent followers to donate to. and if she really is lying then I am disgusted because so many of se*ual abuse victims stay silent out of the fear of others claiming us to be liars just to gain sympathy and for someone like her to be lying about all that hurts because those people whose trust or sympathy has been used be afraid of trusting actual victims in need. from the start of her being exposed there has been one question in my mind and that how in the right mind can someone even think of exploiting a very sensitive issue to guilt trip others. vamptarot please be atleast considerate of people actually going through all of that as personally it took me years just to be able to get even a portion of my former self back. don't use such sensitive issues just for your personal gains

Thank you for sharing this, I am so sorry for what you have been through. I want to say this upfront: you absolutely have the right to feel upset, betrayed and disgusted.

What you've experienced is heartbreaking and it's incredibly brave of you to speak up, especially given the sensitivity of the topic. Thank you again for inboxing me. I hope you're doing fine.

It makes complete sense why this situation with @vamptarot would be especially painful and triggering. It’s beyond vile to weaponize trauma (especially something as serious as SA) as a tool to manipulate people into silence, sympathy, and money. Real survivors often suffer in silence, terrified they won’t be believed. So when someone potentially fakes abuse to cover their scams or gain donations, it doesn’t just harm people financially. It deeply damages trust in real victims.

In her case trauma is used as part of her scam or as a reason for not delivering paid services. The ethical line has been crossed multiple times. You do NOT have the right to trauma dump on your clients or your audience, ever. Especially without a trigger warning.

She fabricated story after story about mysterious accidents, injuries (and a LOT more stuff that I will share in my next and truly possibly last post because nobody else came forward so far) not to connect with people or with the community but to guilt trip and manipulate them to silence and pity.

And worse, she made real survivors like you question your own instincts. That’s sick.

To anyone reading this and feeling the same: - You are not “mean” or “cold” for being skeptical - You are not “bad” for being angry - You are not the problem, she is.

We can (and MUST) protect survivors while also calling out those who weaponize survival stories for exploitation. What @vamptarot is doing? It’s emotional fraud and manipulation.

If you're someone who’s been harmed by this, whether emotionally, financially or psychologically please know that you’re not alone, and your anger is valid.

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

Wolf Cub

Author’s note: First chapter of Thressl in Husbandry. Thank you to @sleepyfan-blog for letting me borrow Cedric.

Summary: Waking up again is unpleasant and confusing.

Warnings: none? Let me know if I need to add anything.

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @egrets-not-regrets, @kit-williams

Tagged: @sleepyfan-blog, @ms--lobotomy , @thevoidscreams, @i-am-a-dragon34, @gra93fruit-blog

Thressl groans a little, and opens his eyes- and wonders why is vision is so blurry. After all, he hadn't had mjod, and he also remembers that he didn't get hit in the head really hard.

But the memories of fighting that bastard chaos witch thousand son comes back to him. Oh- ow. Thinking really hurts. He had over done it using his powers, and the backlash is giving him a killer headache and blurry vision.

Which is. Not great. He's now more vulnerable than ever, due to the fact that his sight is absolutely terrible at the moment. While he can still hear, smell, taste and have most of his other senses just as strong.

Using his not-psyker powers to sense things is an exceptionally poor idea at the moment, he needs to heal from overusing his gifts and let his eyes and brain heal.

He is just barely able to see his vox device as he puts it almost on his eyes as he taps the signal for rescue. He hopes that someone will hear his call for rescue, and help him.

Rather than some opportunistic fuck-with wanting to pick at his corpse. Even though he isn't one and would give as good as he gets for such a situation.

So he just sits, and waits, and tries not to let his thoughts and doubts that he doesn't have consume him. Fuck he just wants to get up and move around- to try and find out where he is.

He's not on the same world as he was before. He's in too much pain for this to be a dream. Thressl knows that he's not recovered enough to try and break out of an illusion with powers of a rune priest.

He does try to Project His Will to break the illusion, all he does is redouble his headache and make his eyesight worse. Which is just fucking perfect.

Thressl's ears prick a little and hears some static, and a voice- says, "Apothecary Cedric of the Black Templars, I have picked up your call for aid. What assistance is needed."

"Ced?" Thressl says, "Thank the Allfather- where the fuck are we? I over did it using my powers as a Rune priest and I am damn near blind. My head hurts really bad and trying to move is like being drunk, dizzy, and on a ocean vessel in rocky waters at the moment."

"I have your coordinates," Cedric says, "Please don't try to move, Ramiel and I will get to your location and help you."

"Gotcha Ced," Thressl says. "Now- where the fuck are we?"

"... Ancient Terra." Cedric says.

"Grox-shite," Thressl retorts.

Cedric sighs and goes over ... the whole thing that he'd been fed in bits in pieces while he power walks with Ramiel to where Thressl is.

"... I can tell you believe this grox-shite," Thressl says. "But, forgive me if I don't."

Ramiel calls out, "It's not grox-shite, no matter how much it feels like it at the moment."

"Oh- so we are dead then," Thressl says, " 'cause you were murdered by your bastard of a mentor. Got it. That's why things sound insane."

"... That's not." Cedric says with a sigh. "We are within a mile of you."

"Thanks for the warning," Thressl says, "I can't believe that being dead means that you hurt and get blinded. Worst afterlife ever."

"We aren't dead, just displaced by the Warp. I think?" Ramiel offers.

"I don't think that's how the Warp works." Thressl says uncertainly.

He hears both of the Black Templars sigh and the red head turns to look, well his sharp hearing helping him hear their approach. Cedric and Ramiel are deliberate in their approach as Thressl squints at them.

Thressl has incredibly vivid long red hair that he keeps tied up in sensible braids. With a beard that's carefully groomed and braided with some metal beads that are carved with runes on them.

His skin is deeply tanned with hints of red, likely due to Thressl starting to overheat a little bit. His eyes are cycling through various colors. Sometimes settling on blue, sometimes green, other times red, black, purple, any other color that can be named.

Which denotes just how worried, he's feeling at the moment. "Thressl, I want you to meet Ramiel officially."

"It's nice to meet you," Thressl says cheerfully, as he tries to reach out and grasp Ramiel's hand to clasp in his.

Ramiel subtly moves forward and to the left to grasp onto Thressl's arm and gives him a small smile, "It's nice to meet you as well. Cedric's talked about you before."

"All good things I hope," Thressl says with great cheer and a teasing grin towards where he approximates where Cedric is.

He's off by several feet. But- neither of them are going to tell him that. Cedric is assessing his condition. While most of his battle wound are healing, he's got a nasty psy-wound that keeps bleeding, and the greatest concern are his eyes.

"We're going to have to wrap your eyes- and do some stitching and have one of the Librarian-Apothecaries tend to your psy-wound." Cedric says after his assessment and initial field patching.

Thressl make a face, "ugh, witches."

"Yes I know, you don't like witches." Cedric says.

Ramiel makes a half incredulous expression on his face and battle signs a question at Cedric [He's a psyker, a primaris psyker- right?]

[The Space wolves call them Rune Priests and don't classify them as Psykers.] Cedric responds in battle sign.

[What the fuck.] Ramiel responds in sign shaking his head a little.

"Come on- lets get you to the base and patched up." Cedric says out loud.

"Sure thing." Thressl says as he leans into their body heat.

Fuck. He'd gotten super touch starved being drop-podded all alone to do his Rite of Passage hunt. Thressl hadn't realized that until after he had spoken with Cedric and Ramiel and is supporting his weight as they walk.

They guide him to the medbay on base- as the clinic would be a bit... overwhelming for Thressl. And- since there are patients who are Chaos, or are bringing patients that they are Bonded to and are Chaos.

Despite how injured he is, perhaps because of it, he'd try to attack them. Blinded and half dead as he is. Thressl is quite fierce and wild, but that's what he was made to be.

Zariel comes striding over- noticing the new person that Ramiel and Cedric are half carrying in. Noting the banged up armor- and the patched up wounds.

Thressl starts to growl- smelling the strange First Born approaching him, his hackles raised, and teeth bared. "Ah- Thres- it's okay, Apothecary Zariel is someone who will help you." Ramiel says.

"If you say so." The Primaris Space Wolf says still rather growly and grumbly.

Zariel wisely backs off and Cedric sends the older apothecary an explanation of what's wrong with Thressl and the older Apothecary heads off to get one of the on duty, but not busy at the moment psy-Apothecaries.

Fortunately, they are a Loyalist, unfortunately, they are a Thousand Son. Which. Well. At least the Thousand Son is from before the burning of Prospero. Zariel does warn him who is patient is.

So Amonhep Rhan nods- and is grateful for the warning from the Ultramarine Apothecary. He makes sure to verbally announce himself as he'd been told that the patient's eyes were covered.

Amonhep pauses in his step- he'd been told that the Primaris he's to tend to be a Space Wolf- but from the way he senses in the Warp, feels very baby brother thousand sons like.

The youngling starts to growl at him, and he shakes his head. Of course, this little idiot is a Space Wolf- what else could he be. How silly of him to think he might be anything else.

"Please stop growling at me," Amonhep says firmly, "I need to heal your psy-wound."

After some prodding from the Black Templars he stops growling with a sulky grumbling huff. Amonhep patches up the psy-wound that was inflicted and informs Cedric of the follow up care that would be needed.

[namecantbeblank]

I have nothing to post today bc I've been incredibly busy so I am reposting headcanons I posted a while ago. Mutual who will likely see this shhh. Also this is going to be a LONG post so buckle up

- Foolish and Bad are both minor deities from seperate sides of life. Foolish is a god of life and living, while Bad is a minor trickster god that wriggled his way into a grim reaper position on the weekends. In a way, they're enemies, but one can't exist without the other.

- The Cucuruchos (aka 'Smile Bots') are robots. However, they don't hold a collective consciousness, meaning you theoretically could make friends with one of them, while another barely knows who you are.

- The Cucuruchos don't write in books, they print a piece of paper from their mouths. Adding on to that, their mouths never move, though they can blink and look around, which makes them have an unsettling nature to them like animatronics. The Federation is constantly making changes to make them seem more friendly.

- The winged people (ex. Phil and Jaiden) that have been on the island for long enough have noticed their feathers growing back after being clipped, leaving them hopeful for a chance out, but before they ever grow back enough, they wake up to them clipped all over again. I believe this affects Phil the most, especially the first time it happened. He went as far as to hide his wings when he first saw them growing back, just in case the Federation wouldn't notice, and when he saw them clipped again he was distraught. He was furious. He punched a hole in his wall. Think of him yelling at QSMP when the eggs came back with cracks, like that. How dare they clip his wings? How'd they get in his house? This could have been a chance to escape the island with his family. But it was gone. He still hurts every time it happens after that, but it's not as bad as the first time.

Jaiden is more sad and humiliated. Whenever this happens, Roier understands that she needs to be alone, and takes care of Bobby for the day. Later that night, Bobby finds her in her room and crawls into her lap, telling her about his day while Roier makes dinner downstairs. Now that Bobby's gone, it's harder, but often times they both just lay together in Bobby's old bedroom, comforting each other with just their presence.

- Fit smoked cigars before he got Ramon. Spreen didn't really give a shit, but when Ramon started teething he found one and tried to chew on them, so Fit threw them out. Now he just stocks up steroids

- With the tickets, each pairing was given something to connect them to their partners. Colored bracelets, necklaces, earrings, patches, anything. They give off different signals- when the partner wakes up, is injured/downed, and gives off a ping to locate the other. That is, of course, if they wear them. Bads link pings, and he follows it, but no matter how far he goes, he never gets any closer. His match is out there, somewhere, he knows that someone is wearing his link. Quackity, though, isn't so lucky. His pinged at first, but it quickly died out, and he spent weeks searching. He refused to believe he didn't have a match. But, well..

When Slime first left for exile, he tried smashing his link, but it didn't work, so he just buried it. Mariana tried for days to try and get it to ping again, but Slime was gone, and since he wasn't wearing his link, he couldn't find him.

- Tallulah and Richarlyson both have physical conditions! One of Richarlysons legs is underdeveloped, he has a congenital LLD. As soon as they realized, Pac and Mike set to work making all kinds of assistance devices and treatments for him. From shoe lifts to canes to crutches, they made sure Richarlyson had whatever options he wanted depending on how he's feeling. Sometimes he just prefers being carried bc he's eepy. A lot of people see him as having an amputated leg as well! Same deal for whatever u headcanon

Talluluh has hyperacusis and type 1 narcolepsy. She's sensitive to most sounds, so Wilbur and Phil got her ear plugs and noise cancelling headphones, of course decorated, to help her. Though they don't have access to the proper medication to help her manage symptoms of narcolepsy, they found ways around it. Her beanie is padded and snaps on under her chin, protecting her head if she ever collapsed (think seizure helmets!). They work on identifying triggers and symptoms, and at times she'd prefer to be carried or use a wheelchair. Anyways I'm physically disabled and just projecting a bit 💀

[amalthea-13]

Setting More Boundaries

Alright. Didn't think I'd wake up having to post one of these, again However, it seems someone was mad at me for something I wrote and resorted to insulting me, again. I thought the issue was resolved, but alas it was not.

This specific person, we'll just call em Blue. Blue didn't agree with my take on Mastermind. I have told many people before that you do not have to agree with how I view Mastermind or even agree with any of my content on this blog. This blog is for me and other Stolas Stans. This was never a "neutral ground". While I am fair to Blitz and can point out when I am wrong, this blog was not conceived on neutrality.

I had explained this all well in my essay; What Made Me Defend Stolas so Staunchly?, and this person just- went the hell off on me in my comments. In said post, Blue decided to insult my OC who I ship with Stolas. This OC is deeply personal to me and I made an offhand joke that they were "made out of spite", but the person took that and told me my OC was a "Gary Stu".

I spent HOURS trying to reply to this person in a fair way. I really didn't want to cuss them out, but insulting this OC despite having NO INFORMATION about them??? It pissed me off. I'll admit it. It took me a hot minute to cool down and remind myself of my moral standard. To remind myself this person has every right to dislike me or my blog and that is okay.

So I took a deep breathe and kindly explained to them that I "cannot reply to them without nearly cussing them out", but that I hope they had a good day and I apologize, but I am to emotionally charged to handle this conversation. I never want to hurt people's feelings, even if they hurt mines.

They went on continuing to berate me, my oc, and called my takes "bad". Beyond that I cannot remember how the conversation devolved. I didn't block them because when I checked their blog I saw they made Stolitz Art I really liked. I mean their Stolitz Week Art had all been liked by me.

My ego was incredibly beat down bc this wasn't just- some person anymore. Blue was an artist I liked and respected. Therefore, I just complimented their work in the comments and told them I really hope they have a good day.

Blue proceeded to realize I was genuine and we DMed one another. We both apologized on our parts. While we have radically differing views, things remained cordial since that day. We don't talk intimately or at all and I assumed we left off in a neutral zone.

That was until this morning. Blue proceeds to rescind their apology. This DM came to me outta the blue and I was genuinely confused since my recent essays were all just analysis on Stolas. The most "inflammatory" thing I'd done was point out my issues with certain arguments lately, but then it hit me.

Now, I want to explain this action was innocent on my part. While yes it made me giggle a bit, I had no intent of spiting Blitz or being against him.

Recently, I changed my blog's aesthetic. I really liked the vibes surrounding Apology Tour, just aesthetically as an episode. I changed my banner to the lovely scenery of Stolas's home. Just purely because it took my breathe away. However, this person took my PFP change to be me I guess- "being biased"???

For anyone who doesn't know- my PFP is of Better Than Blitz Guy dancing with Stolas during Apology Tour. I chose this PFP purely because I liked it. I think Blue is confusing them for my OC which is just- not true. My OC is an Imp+Incubus Hybrid, not just an incubus. My OC also has never been posted publicly so again, I don't know where Blue is getting any of this fuel to insult them from.

They proceed to say that I "blame Blitz for everything" when I have stated that's not true. In plenty of essays I have pointed out how Stolas can be short sighted and unintentionally hurt Blitz, check the Stolas, Via, and Loo Loo Land essay for that. Anyone who has read my blog knows that I do not solely blame Blitz, but I do get frustrated with his actions, that's it. They proceed to go and insult my OC again and tell me my "analysis is one sided". They then send me a screenshot from- The Octavia Dilemma of all things??? An essay I have explained was a personal rant with it's own unique disclaimer and supplemental reading to explain my POV on???

This specific section took me ages to find, but this section was not a slight against Blitz. I was explaining I believed Stolas also sacrificed himself for Blitz for Loona's sake. I wasn't slighting Blitz here, I was simply explaining I think Stolas partly protected Blitz to also shield Loona from a fatherless life. Read The Octavia Dilemma yourself, there is a disclaimer and not ONCE do I insult or slight Blitz so I do not know what Blue was bringing this up for. I have read that essay over 15 times at this point and do not know where or how they took this as me being rude to Blitz.

What Do I Expect in The Future?

Genuinely, all I want from you all as an audience if- if you don't like me or this blog? Just block me man. Genuinely, it will not hurt my feelings. It will not bruise my ego. It will not make me go nuts. I just want to protect my peace man.

Blue, if you're even reading this. You have a good day man. Genuinely, I don't understand what I did wrong. You blocked me before I could respond and I do apologize, but the things you pointed out had nothing to do with Blitz. Anyone who has been on my blog knows I love BTB Guy x Stolas. I think it's a wholesome ship, but I also adore Stolitz as my comfort ship. Aesthetic changes to my blog do not mean I dislike or hate Blitz. If you had a problem, from the jump, just block me then.

To my audience, if you have an issue with me just send in an ask. An anon ask or whatever, I will try my best to resolve the issue and explain my perspective, but for fuck's sakes do not insult me or my OCs. Do not sit here and act like you know me or how my mind works.

The singular thing to set me off is an insult. Especially if I never insulted the person I'm interacting with. I never insulted Blue and they just kept hurling insults my way during our first interaction. Even after I told them to please just leave my OC alone. Soleil did nothing wrong by existing. Genuinely, please just leave my OC alone. I don't post them for a reason and just- want them to be left alone.

You don't have to like OC x Canon or whatever, but please don't talk shit about them. Disagree and dislike, but please leave my OCs alone. They mean everything to me and I just want to have my sweet guilty pleasure in peace...

Moving on the boundaries set are;

1.) If you do not like my blog or takes, BLOCK ME.

2.) If you do want to conversate, DON'T INSULT ME or MY OCs.

I hope this all isn't to much to ask. I'm just- so tired of dealing with being insulted.

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

One Day Robots Will Cry (Cobra Starship)

Come over, come over/I won't make the same mistakes/Come over, come over/I'm dying not to hurt you/In our dreams, we can be complete/If we go to sleep, we can wake up home again

"I am crying my own robot tears. we are so sorry . blorbo angst"

No Children (The Mountain Goats)

I hope that our few remaining friends/Give up on trying to save us/I hope we come up with a fail-safe plot/To piss off the dumb few that forgave us/I hope the fences we mended/Fall down beneath their own weight/And I hope we hang on past the last exit/I hope it’s already too late

I hope it stays dark forever/I hope the worst isn't over....And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out/You'd stay the hell out of my way

I am drowning/There is no sign of land/You are coming down with me/Hand in unlovable hand

And I hope you die/I hope we both die

"The song of all time. It's the soundtrack for countless bad vibes ships (affectionate). The phrase 'hand in unlovable hand' has immutably altered the brain chemistry of thousands with its underlying sentiment and launched a hundred accompanying memes. 'I hope you die, I hope we both die' crams such incredible rawness and depth of feeling into all of nine words. It also makes for a great singalong."

"I need to leave. I need to LEAVE. I need to get out of this situation and I'd hope that if i found the strength to walk out, you'd stay the hell out of my way. I need to leave. Please. Let me out. HAND IN UN FUCKING LOVABLE HAND"

"Just. Man. These two are so broken. They want to be in love. They aren't. They hate each other so much. They are the only ones who understand each other. They wish that they weren't so close but all they can taste is ash when they think of leaving each other. Just, mutually assured destruction tastes so sweet when you can taste the blood on their tongue."

"It's No Children."

"goddd man this song is about being an irredeemable freak with another irredeemable freak and i think that's beautiful. there's something so fuck you up ish about the person you hate and despise the most in the world also being the only other person who is like you, who gets you. im going down, but youre going down too. we can be terrible people together... even if i hate you... even if you're the fucking worst. because we don't have anyone else. there's always a sort of comfort in knowing that there's someone out there who's as terrible as you are, and maybe you only hate them because you see yourself in them a little, too. anyway clay and bloberta from moral orel"

"The sheer emotion packed into the way it’s sung, the lyrics themselves, all of it just screams ‘clinging desperately to someone you hate because you don’t have anyone else and you burned those bridges yourself’ and I find that painfully relatable"

"It's a song about both virulent self-hatred and virulent hatred of someone else and yet you see yourself intertwined with that hated person forever."

Poll runner: Do I even have to add anything? This was the tournament's most submitted song.

No Children submitted by @leovaldezdefender + @diogenescynic2288 + many others