#but im actually fine w them for now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

reyryz · 9 months ago

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didnt wanna do schoolwork so heres another retro/old nba warm up gear + knb wip, ft my first attempts at drawing hyuga and kiyoshi lol

#knb #reezdoodles #does kiyoshi look dopey enough lol #i love him truly #also hyuga looks too much like tsukki for me LOL #fujimakis style is not easy for me to adapt #especially if it isnt miragen.. and even most of miragen is difficult #but im actually fine w them for now #just need to seirin-ify it and we'll be on our way!#and i can post my ref pic later too #but the ref is orlando magic when they had shaq #kiyoshi is shaq in this LOL #top 3 shooters BAABYYY

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hinamie · 4 months ago

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unconditionally

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #itafushi #fushiita #fanart #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #megumi #yuuji #im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life #genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine #but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed #backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads #but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS #so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it #i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process #but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style #so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh #all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap #hina.comic

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luck-of-the-drawings · 6 months ago

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POOR GABRIEL MONTEZ! YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING DID YOU? ALL YOU WANTED WAS POWER. SECURITY. SAFETY. & THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT! JUST IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR BODY. LETS JUST HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS JUST HOPE YOU WONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #cw gore #jrwi suckening spoilers #jrwi suckening #jrwi gabriel #jrwi gabriel montez #LOOK FAMILIAR?hahahahahDONT WORRY #IM REUPLOADING THIS HERE BC i fixed up the drawing a lil. and also i wanted to add main tags #U WONT SEE ANY DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THISSUN N THE POST ON MY SIDEBLOG.i changed the image there too.HA!!!!!!!#ANYWAY.i rambled plenty about pain and gabe on my sideblog.SO LETS TALK ABT THE ART SHALL WE.ihad i very hard time getting the colors down #would u believe i nearly left this uncolored??FUCKED UP!! it was only a sketchhow did it end up like this. it was only a sketch...#BUT IM RLY GLAD I WENT W COLORING IT.this time i actually used the airbrush n pencil tools BUT i also have a handy dandy brush i made #its just the mspaint air brush tool. fucking LOVE THAT THING. but now its in fire alpaca and it can be slightly transparent.IT LOOKS SOGOOD #perfect for splatters and grime.i love you mspaint i love youuu.im also so happy w the blood here.i think i reached a shift last year #back when i made that genloss fanart something abt the way i draw blood finally CLICKED and im like OH. the inside must always be darker.#like i KNEW that already but it was like my hand itself finally had it click.i wonder what i will learn next?I LIKE THE ORGANS HERE TOO #not as veiny or thready as i usually draw em. but i think thats fine. not as WET as id like em to be but thats also fine.#i got the point across. the point ofc being WOW THIS IS GRUESOME AND PAINFUL AND TERRIBLE #I LOVE HIS EXPRESSION.i love pain and thinking abt pain. you lose yourself to it after enough time passes of just being in an ocean o agony #at one point its just too tiresome to scream or writhe. theres a point when the body accepts it.sometimes.atleast.#OHHH GABRIEL AS A CHARACTER DELIGHTS ME SO MUCH.he is a dog to me.a thing to serve others.I WISH I KNEW MORE #WHAT ELSE DID YOU WANT BOY?? SURE POWER AND SECURITY AND SAFETY ARE NICE.BUT DID YOU HAVE DREAMS? WANTS? PASSIONS?#WHAT WAS THE STORY BEHIND THAT TIGER TATTOO ON YOUR ARM?WHAT DO THE DOGTAGS SAY BOY?I WISH I COULD HAVE TEA W U #OHHH TO SIT DOWN WITH A CHARACTER AND JUST SPEAK TO THEM. AND YET. AND YET IN THE END ITS ALL TRAGEDY AND COMEDY #TRAGEDY AND COMEDY THAT IS SO SO PAINFULLY UNBALANCED. SIGH.#WHATEVER CMERE BOY YOURE BECOMING AN OC OF MINE NOW UR GONNA BE IN SPACE AND UR NAME IS GONNA BE VINEGAR #UR STILL GONNA BE SHIP OF THESEUSED THOUGH. OOOHHH GABRIEEELLL GABRIEL MONTEEEZZZ #HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE BUILT INTO YOU.HOW MANY DID YOU LOVE AND CHERISH.HOW MANY TATTOOS DO U RECOGNIZE ON UR NEW ARMS #WHAT WAS IT LIKE? ON THE NIGHT U WERE SIRED?WERE YOU EXCITED? DID YOU SEE YOUR BOSS' FACE?WHAT WAS THIS PROMOTION LIKE?

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todayisafridaynight · 6 months ago

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sometimes i get nishiki i really do

#snap chats #like from an outsider perspective it is utterly hilarious watching everything go wrong for him #BUT GIRL NOT ME STOP HAVING THIGNS GO WRONG FOR MEEEEEE WHAT IS ALL THIS #this month its actually one thing after another if i start wearing white everyone needs to be concerned #you guys remember my bullshit roommates yeah well TLDR im getting fined for their messes im going to SCREAM #I HATE IT HEERRRREEE I KNOW IM EVIL BUT CMON #literally had such a silly night last night and now everything sucks again is this life is this what life is #its not its not what life is im just hearing my mom bitching in the other room and im letting her vibes ruin mine #everything going to be ok this is just a hiccup .... a small pinprick in the tapestry of life ....#i am incredibly annoyed though cause this is one of those situations where youve done nothing wrong but youre being shot for it #its just unfair but whatever we ball ..... im putting the hair gel away guys im not slicking my hair back just yet ....#i got a new friend last night so maybe ill just hang with them later and ill remember life is beautiful ..#heh ... jk ... i can remind myself life is beautiful right now ... im gonna go eat some tiramisu ...#jesus christ i really do love italian food what the fuck. pasta / calamari / tiramisu #i dont think calamari is italian but i got it from an italian place w/e we get the picture #its not my fault that italy has good food ... i would just never go there .....#ok bye ima go eat and drink water now. water will remind me how beautiful life is ...

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faaun · 3 months ago

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ok let's catch up quickly

#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth #(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian #like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told #him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive #fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research #(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux #to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him #my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept #insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them #and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating #apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they #keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading #this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY #JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT #NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn #this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore #i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt #himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure #even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin #right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love #her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her #its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking #kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD #i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society #feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO #WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best #its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good #one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much

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autism-corner · 2 months ago

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they hate me for my swagger

#its nice to look in the mirror and feel good =w=bb #somehow so good that you try pixelart fr for the first time and arent completely embarrassed by it #SHITT why do i never do eyebrows T-T i ALWAYS forget them mannn #its just not a part of the face i recognize as important.... despite them being very much so imo #too late now i dont wanna change itt #sillyposting #my work #waughh this is making me think i really need to get onto eyebrow piercingss #big part of feel-goods today was my jewlery and.... i need moree......#do you think if i ask for them for xmas my parents will let me??#actually wait who am i kidding “will they let me”. they dont have much choice. im wondering if theyll PAY for itt =3=#besides the basic earlobe my whole 4 other piercings were done with little of their knowledge #god i can not imagine how tf 17 y/o me had the BALLS to get facial piercings knowing my parents didnt approve #actually i can. that was not the worst thing i had to plague my mind during that time =3=p #ououoouuu i used pixelart.com again and im kinda glad i couldnt figure out how to create my own colours....#its good for my progress to be forced to stick with an (admittedly pretty large) colour pallet.......#even if it means my hair and my face kinda blend together.....#actually thats fine ive been thinking my head is wayy too red next to my hair irl soo =3=bb #yayy #floating head bc i couldnt be bothered.#actually i really need to start doing SOMETHING in the background i cant keep getting away with boring nothingness T-T #ughhh you mean i have to try??? do something new???? ewww

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phagodyke · 1 year ago

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in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....

#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns-#that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭#to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space #like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use-#to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol)#to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum-#or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else #other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh #to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn #i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding #and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt #unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world...#its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow #and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while..#anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation #abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol #and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever #and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress #i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters.....#altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes #like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up #a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl #ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs #im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌#another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo #.diaries #zzzzz

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windor-truffle · 2 months ago

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It occurred to me the other day that Asbel is the only party member without *any* sort of spell artes. I guess friendship really is his magic 😅

#dolphin plays graces again #It suits his character though to be the aggro tank. He's protecting the others 😤#Him and Sophie both have high defense actually which makes sense they're both sacrificial idiots. i love them 💜💜#With Sophie out of the party rn (Lambda laser to the chest 😔) and me wanting to try other characters I now have a party of all spellcasters #The strategy seems to be 'ok ONE of us is going to have a bad time but as long as everyone else is fine our explosions can keep happening'#Richard and Hubert are strong in melee actually they're just so frail they keel over at the slightest touch 😅 drama kings.#Sorry for all the gameplay meta rambling the combat system's definitely growing on me as I figure it out more #Though the only character Im actually good w is Asbel 😅 I'm a melee player myself and like I said he's the only exclusive one #I should play Sophie more but she's the best healer and I need her on that 🙏#Cheria's great for big heals and big spell damage but Sophie can heal quickly and reliably #Which is important bc RICHARD AND HUBERT KEEP DYING 😩#Pascal and Malik mostly do fine but I think Pascal is just Better Malik 😅 sorry Captain #anyway those are my thoughts on the battles. no idea if my experiences are normal or if I'm just bad at this game 😅

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voidpunker · 6 months ago

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i swear to gog are doctors not allowed to be on time lol

#not super mad or annoyed i dont want them to rush w prev ppl #its judt funny how this happens p much every time i go to any kinda doctor lately #huisarts making me wait for abt as long as the actual appointment took #and now vet is 15 min late lol #(yeah happy birthday to me im taking the cat to the vet)#shes fine btw just vaccinations + checking whats up w her microchip

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hailsatanacab · 1 year ago

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I just don't understand people who feel the need to leave negative comments on fics?? You don't like the characterisation? You don't like the way things are going? You're not a fan??

That's fine! That's absolutely fine!! We all have different tastes, I get that!!

But why post a comment about it though??

Why would you say this?????? What makes you think that's okay???????

#cetbwa #fanfic #obviously theyre not happy with the way the fic went and thats fine #im working hard on accepting that people arent always going to like what i create and thats fine!!#the worst of it is like it's not even a terrible comment????#people are allowed their opinions #BUT!!!! why post that???#and that kind of language too???? like jfc #i think thats what annoyed me the most out of it tbh #idk man ive had worse comments that are far more critical about my actual writing #and the MAJORITY of comments are positive and i love all of them i really do #but i think just the language of this one fucked me off the most #why did you use a slur?? what in the world makes you think thats okay??#made me so angry #anyway sorry I'll stop complaining now #im not looking for sympathy or w/e literally just complaining #the fucking audacity #if you dont like it you dont like it!!! thats fine!!!! but dont disparage my boy danny like that jfc #r slur

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jrueships · 1 year ago

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tbh tho i think my art is fugly af LMFAO

#not in a '>w< eeeek! i wish i could drawww 🥺 i can only cobble such measle crap with my lowly peasant paws.. *unveils mona lisa*'#sense but like a my style makes me want to hurl whenever i look at it bcs it's a constant reminder that it can only be what i can make it be #and bcs it looks bad to me then that means i cant make things look good if u get my sense like #idk man 😭!! im just sick of being scribbly!! and not clean! i wanna ink my art! have crisp lines! dark lines!!#not have to put stupid darkening filters on everything bcs i cant color or shade so my art is just stuck with the blinding white background #well the frustration is more how i CAN color and shade.. i CAN ink my lines with a darker one #lets not excuse my laziness now cmon ted omg dumbass bitch #it's just that doing so makes me . crazy #my attention span like. crumbles when i try to add color or ink over lines bcs thats Such a commitment to me #i HATE leaving things unfinished when it seems so monumental #like unfinished sketches or prompts? fine. those are sketches. little prompts. even if u post it it's shit #but starting big things is a COMMITMENT.. with CONSEQUENCES ! ! i just want to avoid them ig #it's like im stuck between art being a fun lil past time and being a perfectionist actually so no. no it is not #but also i NEED to draw i NEED to write SOMETHING! SOMETHING!! then i realize the weight of things and purposefully hinder myself #then later hate myself for hindering even tho it felt so good and right in the beginning ORGHH or WHATEVER #idk one of my friends told me my style reminded them of the new tmnt movie (which has been praised yeah #for like beautiful ugliness tho) and like. i KNOW it's a compliment... but. why did it make me Feel 😭 like i wanted to rip my art 2 shreds #once i lined my art and my friend (an artist i admire) said smthin like 'omg finally! ted lined art! gorgeous!'#& i KNOW. I KNOW IT'S A COMPLIMENT. BUT WHY AM I THINKING LIKE. SO VIOLENT. NOT ABT THEM. BUT MY SHIT NOW #like UGHHH i just HATE feeling trapped and helpless when actually theres help available but im just DUM!! JUST LINE UR ART TED #art is like playing sport is like making good grades is like working well is like being a good friend is like being a good person #literally. just be GOOD.#it's all a performance to me ARGHARGH! I HATE THE JOKER! I HATE BEING CRINGE@! RAGGHH I HATE THIS SHIT #<- mfs when no basketball #mfw i cannot avoid enlightenment via the meaningless distractions i codepently craveRAGGHG!!!!!!1!

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un-pearable · 1 year ago

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played superstars through the credits with two of my brothers and just. holy shit this game was absolutely not designed for multiplayer. despite the gratuitous marketing focusing on the multiplayer aspect it was CONSISTENTLY lagging to an insane degree and it only got worse when we went from 2 players to 3. i had a great time despite it and i think the game had a lot of potential but by the time we got to the egg fortress fight, well:

kept popping between zoomed out (multiplayer view) and zoomed in (single player view), killing whichever of the characters the camera wasn’t locked on every time it happened

jarringly swapping which character the camera was centered on, snapping into their view and causing more deaths

the ground disappearing and occasionally causing people to clip into it and die every few seconds

the uh. the spinning. happened about half the time the robot swapped between phases

ALL of these problems happened about twice as often when all three players were active, so in order to beat it two of us had to intentionally die for the fight to even be playable

i have ten more videos just like this. we spent nearly an hour here. it happened so often i gave up documenting it. it wasn’t the first major issue (the entire game crashed after beating a level, twice. at one point when we left the shop we were accidentally teleported to the overworld area for egg fortress with no floor loaded and accidentally walked off, then fell eternally) but it’s the one that really broke our spirits. how do you ship this game that you marketed as multiplayer when it’s nigh unbeatable when you actually play multiplayer

#text✨#sonic superstars #sonic superstars spoilers #sorry i HAD to make a post bc all the stuff talking about the game’s issues isn’t addressing the multiplayer issues #(bc half them are just people who love to hate on sonic and aren’t actually the main audience of : kids . particularly kids with siblings in #this case)#i’m not mad or particularly opinionated about the game i’m just sad. dealing with frame rate drops is annoying but fine when you’re having #fun and joking around. when the issues are actually making the level unbeatable it’s just depressing #and we couldn’t even drop the other players out so it would run better #bc it’s at the end of the entire act 2 of egg fortress #in which you play act 1 backwards #anyway we DID beat it im just sad now. i guess we’ll wait a few weeks until a patch is released bc i’ve hard super sonic is laggy even in #single player. and i’ve seen how bad afterimage effects slowed the frame rate in a normal level w/ 3 players #i do NOT want to see how bad it gets when you’re all super

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snow-and-saltea · 6 months ago

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sometimes replacing an emotion with a perhaps-equally-worse-but-for-different-reasons emotion works (even if its not healthy. we're not getting to healthy right now we're getting to what Works). today i was so pissed off about how the day was going and i felt so guilty for the kitties that i haven't been able to feed yet that day that after i cooked i just got into the car and drove to get cat supplies. and i didn't feel anxious as i usually did when i drove, and that is because i felt Angry instead. and it helped move things a lot

i understand how people fall prey to using anger as a motivator now. my mind was empty except for getting cat supplies and getting out.

at least i got to go to the bank today, so i'm able to make donations that i haven't been able to recently. head in hands. so, you know. silver linings

#yuu rambles #ougjhgkhgjdhgjkghdsjghdsjkhgjksdhgjksd im oging to . ough .#when i get pissed off i get real quiet bc im worried that if ill speak i will be very Cutting and any attempts at lighthearted sarcasm just #comes across as very bitter and resentful. which is true in the state i was in; but i didnt want to show it anyway #WHATEVER MANNNNN at least i did something useful w my anger. those kitties' living conditions were fucking horrid and we were all #dancing around the topic of actually taking care of them because it costs money. and i lowkey just snapped lmfao and just went ahead and #used my own. it was about 230 total or smth but i saved up from eid and im not using my money for anything other than donations #or buying snacks anyways so it was fine. and i got to go to the bank too for the latter bc id usually ask my brother #to stop by the bank bc it was kinda rare for me to go out on my own even though now i teeeeechnically have a learner's driving license #just bc it still intimidates me. but now i know the (temporary) answer. intimidate it back. i was so pissed off i didnt have time to #feel anything other than pissed off (and guilt for the kitties)#i need to get them to the vet soon fajkslfjsaklfajhsklfjf AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #ok thank u for reading my rant love u

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moving-to-dreamwinged · 1 year ago

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my dad came in and saw me on the couch (for the first time all day and i had literally just sat down for less than a minute when he came in) w heating pad and immediately goes "you have two options" (different chores to do) (as if i was like 10 years old and getting punished for something that i didnt even know i did wrong). what about secret third option where you treat me like an adult or i don't come home for winter next year. Lol

#.mei chats #soryr really my family is. great i need to stpo complain #i just wish theyd realize that im not incompetent #i do a really good job taking care of myself for the entire 10 months out of the year that i dont live with them #and im proud of the independence ive developed bc i worked really hard to feel ANY sort of positive feelings about myself #but they just dont recognize it at all when i come back #trying to tell me how to microwave my food and reminding me of paperwork i have to do #Thanks i literally managed the entire program tasks myself for the last 6~months but yeah you better remind me about the medical forms #or else ill totally forget and mess up the whole thing :'333 bc im just so stupid!! thakn you soooo much for taking care of me!!#<- not like ive been hypervigilant and anxious about making sure i do every little thing with it perfect #in fact there was actually an issue w one of my forms bc they made me submit it even though i didn't think it was filled out properly.#they were like “itll be fine youre overthinking” guess who got an email 3 days later saying the form was completely invalid.#god just bottom line why cantthey trust me when i say im on top of it. fucking trust me this program is my entire life right now #i am putting literally eveyr ounce of effort i've got into not ruining it. they just dont see the improvements and growth ive made at all #so frustrating bc ive worked so hard to pinpoint and fix that specifically but what can ya do #god this got long. sawry #.not f/o related

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goldenhypen · 2 years ago

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btw,,,,

DNDNDJDJDNDKSS BYE-

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bunnyboy-juice · 4 months ago

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me (not joking, very stressed): i think im going to have a mental breakdown if something else goes wrong here.

everyone irl: hahahhahaa ur so funny(:

#i am literally 2 secobds from vomiting over how stressed i am about some worm stuff #*work stuff #but im glad my discomfort is entertaining for them 🙃🙃🙃#(im seriously fine i just have crippling anxiety to the point i speedran the medcard process in my state from how mt assessment went)#(and this would stress Anyone out so yk. i feel like im dying hahahaha)#im also aware mt reaction 8s an over reaction #it just like. kinda sucks that even when im being genuine no one believes me ;~;#no one really believes me unless im like. Actively spiraling in front of them #and then instead of offering support 9/10 ppl get mad and scared and upset that im having a reaction Period #bc they are so large and disproportionate 🤩#anyway. i may actually vomit about this cauze.my stomach wont calm down #and like theres truly solutions there #theres truly things that can be done #im just..so crisised out #between work and personal i have literally not had a SINGLE MONTH this year w/o some major crisis happening around me that im pulled into #i feel so sick #and i have to isolate myself to fix this but dont have the tiiiiiiiiiime available #so yk. doing Great (':#yes this is why ive been extremely online the last few months and Shari everything #i Cannot keep this in and i Cannot talk to people abt it #bc im at a place now where if im asked probing questions theres a 80% chance im gonna wanna explode #and ethically kt doesnt feel ok to go to people Knowing this will happen #im so deeply bot ok rn i am like. woozy #oh no

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