#but ill give people the opportunity to suggest names if you want

[oifaaa]

What are the chances that (before getting divorced) Tim convinced one of his husbands to name their kid Robin?

Both his children's middle names are actually robin both Bernard and kon were pissed as fuck when they found out as he didn't consult them on it ... yeah this was definitely a sign of what was to come

[bloodyinkandquill]

Scythe x Reader semi toxic yuri/canon accurate

if you keep talking that blah blah blah blah💃🕺💃🕺 kesha fucks hard her music is amazing, anyways toxic yuri😍 ok wait a minute note to self please finish this before bed, ok onto tumblr i go for some reason im thinking of banhammer self ship rn so im reading other people’s works on him rq to fulfill my own wants lmao

had a awful mental breakdown, skipped classes, couldn’t sleep until 5:30, didn’t work on this, i’ll work on it next lemme do something else idk man just need motivation

5 days later i think, i dunno man i just need to get this done ok let’s do this, this will probably just be general dating hcs ill be so real not that i won’t write her with a male reader but i hc her as lesbian *shrug*

- ‘She’s the most wanted demon in the Inpherno!’ pretttyy lady�� your friends may not understand but it doesn’t really bother you, you love her and that’s all that matters

- Scythe has an almost flirtatious demeanor to her but when it comes to you that’s cranked up to 11, she loves teasing and flustering you, even simple things she changes into an opportunity to flirt, causal conversation where you look away for a moment? You bet your ass she’s grgabbing your face and forcing you to look at her, and with that she sometimes blows cigarette smoke in your face, it’s so attractive but gods it makes you cough, it’s worth it though for her

- She adores dancing with you, sometimes it’s slow and intimate music at home while other times you’re at a saloon absolutely boogie-ing it down, if you didn’t know how to dance you bet your ass she taught you, she’d make fun of you tripping or messing up but it never was that serious just more so playful banter

- Lightly suggestive but she would so slap your ass as you walked by, it doesn’t matter who’s nearby or where your at, she will fully go for it, and then either carry on like nothing happened or crack up, never in between

- She robs bars on occasion and gets the best most fancy and expensive wines to share with you, telling you all about her latest ‘job’ as you sip on wine you’re pretty sure is worth more bux then you’ve ever owned in your life combined, sometimes she has little trays of finger foods with it like bread with cheeses but usually it’s just a table with the two of you drinking the wine as you admire her

- Scythe very much enjoys going into detail about her work with you, from the regular paper work, to offerings, to her kills, if you’re squeamish it’s not your lucky day that incentives her to describe them even more graphically, but if you fully support her and listen intently when she talks about them she’s not as graphic but loves the look in your eye and you listen to her ramble about her ‘assignments’

- Sorry but if you’re going to date her you had to join the Church of the TRUE EYE, let’s be so for real here if she’s legit dating someone they have to be in the church, she said it’s your choice but you knew it wasn’t, if you wants to be with her you had to join, she hooked you up good, a word to the father here, great accommodations there, she was very pleased once you agreed

- Pampers you in a sorta macabre way, brings you the most fancy and beautiful jewelry she got from someone she killed, takes you on a fancy dinner she doesn’t pay for by threatening everyone to kill the entire building, gives you bouquets she made from flowers that reminded her of the colors of her favorite horns she has framed on her walls, once she tried to gift you a pair of horns she thought were very beautiful, you puked, she didn’t try that again

- Her love language is words of affirmation and gift giving, constantly using pet names to compliment you, and we’ve already discussed the gifting

- With the pet names she obviously calls you darling with her hot ass southern accent, she also calls you thinks like hot and sexy, wouldn’t put it past her to call you hot tits I’ll be so real right now, if she did you’d give her the most disappointed look ever and she just doubles over in laughter

- Scythe’s dates are usually really fancy dinners or saloons, quite different but you don’t mind since she’s usually a lot sweeter on your dates, more lovey at fancy restaurants and more protective and touchy at saloons, speaking of no one could lay a finger on you or she will cut that finger off and feed it to them, she can and will murder anyone she views as trying to flirt with you or harass you, it’s sweet in a very messed up way

- Not really a hand hold-y person but she touches you in other ways, an arm around your waist, hand under your chin, leaving lipstick all over your face and neck, it’s usually more intimate touches, maybe if she’s feeling a bit more adventurous that day she’ll use her sharp ass claws to draw a small amount of blood, she just loves the surprised slightly pained face you make

ok finally got this done let’s get this posted i’ll probably head to bed after this, do the firebrand request and do a self indulgent thing of windforce then open back up requests! WILD LIFE SCDIDHKFHSJ (life series, any fans of the life series who read this talk to me please i’m going insane)

[edgeray]

Request Page ≧◉◡◉≦

Decided that I will be accepting requests over the summer.

I will only accept Arlecchino requests, because I cannot write for any other character. Bear with me, as this is the first time I've done this. If the amount of rules I have scare you, sorry.

TLDR;

More specifics under the cut if you have questions, but also feel free to send me an ask if you have more questions.

I write Arlecchino x Reader's (platonic and romantic) and I write wlw Arlecchino ships. No nsfw, dark, sensitive, specific, taboo, or lore heavy requests for x Reader's and ships. Borderline nsfw is okay, as long as I can imply it. I do not write amab characters, meaning no amab readers and no straight ships. No Arlefuri. Reader will default to gender-neutral, unless requested afab. I love writing AUs, so please send me some! I'm open to ANY AU (as long as it pertains to my rules). I can write fluff, angst, crack, etc. You can request for a continuation of my other works as well, which you can find in my masterlist. Lastly, if you plan on requesting more than once as anon, give yourself a name/emoji :)

Want to request but don't have any ideas? Check out my ideas/wip post here. Feel free to request anything on here, I'm always excited to get the opportunity to write more.

Here are some rules for requesting :

rules that aren't relating to Reader apply to ships requests as well (ie. still no nsfw).

no nsfw requests. there are enough nsfw blogs out there that will love to take your requests ^0^, but there are few blogs dedicated to arlecchino for sfw, which is what I want to establish this blog for. (i recommend for nsfw x Reader's @/megistusdiary, @/knavesflame, @/servalisms for nsfw ;]). I can write suggestive, but I will not write actual sex.

no typical 'dead dove do not eat' topics (ie. cannibalism, torture, etc.)

no taboo topics (ie. any form of incest).

no *super* sensitive topics (ie. SH, SA, etc).

no specific reader requests (like reader with a specific illness/disease/condition, or reader that has a particular racial/ ethnical/ cultural/ religious background, etc). I know this is vague, so if you do request something along the lines, I will reply back whether or not I will be doing it. I do not want to exclude people in my writing.

no amab reader. unless specified afab reader by request, reader will be gender neutral

no mlw ships. i cannot write male characters, hence why the no amab reader either.

no lore heavy requests (sorry, I don't have much genshin knowledge ;()

General Information :

Asks will generally be the same length range of my blurbs (0.5k-2.5k words depending on how much I like the idea and can write about it

I'm willing to write for all sorts of scenario! Wholesome, angsty, crack, etc.

I can't say how fast each request will take because I've never done this before, but I'll try to be swift! It may vary because of my summer schedule.

Please send me AU requests (ie. modern au, soulmate au, space au, monster au, go crazy)! I think they're the coolest thing ever, and I don't have to rely on Genshin lore, which I have limited knowledge of.

Feel free to request a continuation on my works too (though it will take longer to do than usual asks)

I can write for Arle ships! (but only wlw ships, because I cannot see Arlecchino with a man, EVER). However, unfortunately, I will not write for Arlecchino and Furina (it is not my cup of tea, and there's plenty of Arlefuri content out there). My favorites are Arlevie and Arlebina, but I'll consider other requests.

[wickedsrest-rp]

Name: Meredith Austen Species: Human (Non-powered) Occupation: Waitress at The Codfather Age: 24 Years Old Played By: Bea Face Claim: Sydney Park

"As it turns out, I’m pretty hard to kill."

TW: Chronic illness

As a kid, Meredith felt trapped in the weird little seaside town of Wicked’s Rest, but it’s grown on her. She grew up in a modest house in Harborside but her home was the ocean. From a young age she spent her days running up and down the sand and rocks. It wasn’t the picturesque California beaches she’d seen on T.V. but it was enough. She was happiest when her hair was stiffened with salt. She wanted to surf and swim and sail and so she and her sister begged her parents to take them whenever they could. It would remain her safe haven in the years to come.

Perhaps like most children, Meredith grew up believing in the unbelievable. She wanted to swim with mermaids, feared monsters under her bed, and wrote letters to Santa. However, like most children, these were all things she grew out of. If you asked her she wouldn’t tell you that there was a particular moment in time when the idea of a tooth fairy became too fantastical, but she would admit that there came a point when it was simply unimportant. Kids with sick siblings don’t get to be kids for very long. They must grow up, they must be patient. They can’t want or whine, they must sit still, be quiet, wait. Sure, there were times when young Meredith was bitter about the endless hospital stays or the fact that nothing she did ever seemed to be as important as Mallory but really, she just wanted her best friend to get better.

She wouldn’t get better, it wasn’t that simple. Mallory wouldn’t just wake up one day and be cured but things did improve. Dialysis allowed her to live a pretty normal life and without the barriers of hospital room walls the girls once again became inseparable. They swam in the ocean every chance they got, even when it was freezing, and when Mallory didn’t feel well enough to run outside Meredith would paint in their shared bedroom while her sister read. Then, at age fifteen, Meredith found out she was a match. She agreed, very quickly, to give a kidney to her sister to get her off dialysis. The family was able to get court approval for the surgery, and so she became one kidney lighter.

Having a single kidney may cause some people to live cautiously, but the girls had learned at a young age how quickly things can change. They had an unspoken vow to always live on their own terms. So when Mallory got an opportunity to study abroad Meredith encouraged her through tears to go. This is what it had all been for- to give her sister freedom. Meredith stayed. She went to UM and got a degree in studio art.

Truly on her own for the first time, she moved in with a friend in college. Stevie filled the sister sized hole in her life, and they became confidants. She was wild and impulsive, but it suited Meredith just fine. After they graduated they decided to stay roommates, they even got waitressing jobs together. When Stevie suggested something of a Halloween party at her uncle’s old cabin in The Pines, Meredith thought it sounded kind of silly but she agreed. She also thought the candles and the Ouija board were ridiculous but she played along as Stevie chanted something in latin she read on the internet.

After a night of fighting like hell to survive Meredith woke up in a hospital room, a few new scars to add to her collection. Mallory said she was coming home but Meredith told her to stay, not wanting to pull her away from her life. So now with no sister and no best friend, Meredith rode back to an empty apartment. The papers called it a gruesome murder, she read headlines that felt like they came straight out of an 80s slasher movie. But she knew that the truth was whatever they unleashed in that cabin wasn’t human. She’d seen things that were seared into her mind and woke her up in the middle of the night. She didn’t understand any of it, all she knew was that she had escaped something horrible and terrifying- something that was still out there. Maybe her weird little seaside town had a lot more hidden in the fog than she ever realized.

Character Facts:

Personality: Direct, playful, loyal, responsible, stubborn, observant, sarcastic, impatient, tough

Mere currently works at The Codfather as a waitress and occasional bartender when they’re short staffed.  It’s not a dream job but she makes better tips than at the diner and refuses to speak pirate.  

Besides being in the water, painting is Meredith’s favorite hobby. She does occasional artwork around town when she can get a gig. She’s painted a few murals for local businesses.  

She doesn’t own a car, she prefers to get around on her bike or roller skates.

Though she can come off brash or aloof at times, at her core Mere likes to take care of people.

[stealingyourteeth]

i have been thinking. scheming even. about a renegades (YA book series by marissa meyer) and chnt crossover au. i have talents and occupations planned out for at least 4 characters and how a side plot with them would fit into the canon of the original renegades universe.

part 1/???

if you don’t know what renegades and/or camp here and there is i suggest you read this for chnt, and this for renegades!

CAMP HERE AND THERE SPOILERS(?)

RENEGADES SPOILERS

sydney is healer at renegades hq, his talent would be chlorokinesis (the ability to create, manipulate, and animate plant life). this talent is also known as botanokinesis.

jedidiah works in research and development, and he could be a technopath (the ability to control technology). ive also thought about him having a secret talent where he can give life to another being at the expense of his own life?? but i haven’t really thought that through yet

elijah is an anarchist, but he isn’t really around in the subway tunnels and isn’t even aware that the rest of the anarchists moved to nova’s house after the tunnels collapsed (explained more down below). he has the talent of Disabling Aura, people near him feel fatigue and are unable to use their own talent.

adam during the age of anarchy was apart of a villain gang (I haven’t decided which one yet) and had the title “Up and Adam” (as in chnt lmao). after the day of triumph, he now works as a counselor at renegades headquarters, though he uses this job for self gain a lot of the time. he has the ability of dreamwalking, which is exactly what the name states. he can walk into peoples dreams. this could set up an interesting dynamic as Nova never sleeps. (i actually plan on writing a fic where she takes up the counseling opportunity after killing Ingrid at the end of the first book)

heres where the side plot comes in. back in the age of anarchy elijah was put in charge of the hostages (I don’t rlly remember if the anarchists took hostages it’s been awhile since ive read the series all the way through) and sydney was one of the hostages. elijah became fixated with sydney, as his aura worked in a different way around him. when elijah was around sydney, it seemed like sydney’s senses were heightened instead of the opposite. he still couldn’t use his chlorokinesis, but this small defect was enough to send elijah spiraling into obsession. due to this, he spent most of his time tending to sydney, ignoring the other hostages despite what valuable information they may be able to give up.

even after the day of triumph, he was still fascinated with sydney. he was rarely in the subway tunnels where the other anarchists live because of this, and he really had no idea that the subway tunnels collapsed. he spent most of his days stalking sydney from afar, as he couldn’t get close to him considering the effect that he had on sydney.

there’s also like. a side side plot which ill explain.

the reason jedidiah is working in r&d is so he can try and find a way to help sydney survive longer (as he’s still chronically ill in this universe). sydney has been surviving by growing healing herbs and modern medicine, but jedidiah wants to find something more permanent.

ill update this more as i get more ideas, i just want to put this out into the world before I forget ^_^

[rriavian]

M and N for the ask game!!

M - name a character you’d like to have for a friend 

Calliope or Jessamy (though if I could I’d give her back to Dream).

But Calliope was my first thought because I adore her character. I could go on for a long time about why but my answer for N is very long so I might save it for another post.

N - 3 things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or one of your choice)

Ok this might be a little controversial but…I don’t actually read that much Sandman fanfic anymore. In the beginning I read so much and while I still write, I think what’s kept me around is that I'm trying to write what I want to see more of. If that makes sense?

Firstly, I’d love to see more diversity.

Not just in ships but in fic in general, more gen, more that explore the female characters, more femslash (never written it but I know you mod Sandman Femslash Fans and I really wanted to do something for the challenge! Have an idea but I’ve been a bit ill recently). I wish there was more love for side characters/minor characters other than Hob. And that there were more explorations of the connections between characters outside of shipping.

I never really enjoy fandoms where one ship is a majority, even when I ship that ship, because in my experience it leads to everything being seen through the lens of that ship.

It tends to lean towards certain fanon interpretations being considered canon, with fandoms forgetting to question/step outside of the ships bubble. It's also just not very interesting. Even when there’s diversity within the ship itself I like to see more of a counterpoint. Otherwise it just…makes the universe feel smaller. Like only ever having chocolate cake on offer, maybe in ten different permutations, but at its core it’s chocolate. Different takes on things make people think, challenge them to think, make them alter their perspective, and it’s a healthy thing. I don’t think this fandom is very good for that tbh. 

Secondly, more characterisations of non-human characters that embrace the fact they are not human.

I see this very common binary of more human like = good vs less human like = bad (very simplified but I hope you understand my point!). So would like to see this not just for Dream, but for other characters too. I know we’re humans engaging with this fandom, so it's hard to envision that perspective, but I’d love to see more of us stepping outside of a human lens. As much as the fandom writes ‘nightmare’ Dream, it’s often shown as his dark or unrestrained side (or primarily a sex thing) so would love to see more diverse views on the spectrum of his aspect. On the flip side the human/retired Dream trope (which is personally a hard no for me unless heavily subverted) is far more popular than its opposite.

Again, this is about a desire for diversity. I'm not suggesting there's something wrong with having different tastes!! Just frustrating when it’s hard to find anything else.

I know this is fanfic, and so we all have our own interpretations and AUs, with many of us embracing the opportunity to write a drastically different version of a character. I just rarely see Dream characterised in a way that, again to my interpretation, I recognise as him. That feels authentically him. Other characters like Lucienne or Death or even Rose often feel like they are smoothed out to be perfect or written in a matchmaking role. I wish more fics let them be as flawed as they are, let them be wrong, let them make mistakes. I’d just love to see more complexity.

Thirdly - this is probably a subpoint of the above - but more of Dream actually enjoying his role, and fics that explore his relationship to humanity.

I'd love to see explorations of what it means to be Dream. I see so much of him rejecting it or being overwhelmed by it. While I do think his feelings are complicated, which in itself is very interesting, he’s not just going through the motions/in need of saving. I wish more people showed that it’s not just this burden he needs freedom from. He’s good at it too. That’s what makes things so tragic. He’s smart, communicative in his own way, but Dream just isn’t human, and so he’s not going to act like one.

(Btw this is not anti Dreamling. I’m not here to hate on anyone’s ship, especially one I do ship in certain ways. I just wish there was more diversity, and I personally disagree with a lot of interpretations of Dream’s character. As fans we’re all allowed to dislike a take/trope. I just don’t read those fics because I'm not the right audience for them. I'm only trying to point out that when those takes/tropes are everywhere it’s really hard to find anything to engage with.)

[dicepunks]

New (Rest of an) Episode: 1.54B - Nightfall, Part II

So this one has already been in the feed for a couple days, but work has been so all-encompassing this week that there wasn’t bandwidth for both the editing/rendering/uploading process and the “telling people about the thing we worked so hard on” process. So, with apologies for the messiness of getting the finale all the way distributed to the listening public, we are so, so pleased to present to you…

Dice Punks Episodes 1.54A & 1.54B - Nightfall, Parts I & II!

I, Adam, am (figuratively) allergic to self-promotion or self-congratulation, so this is hard for me to say, but: I think this is good, that we did a good job with this campaign and this finale, and that it will be fun to listen to!

Nearly five hours of campaign-climactic listening, with a gratis Dice Peeks after-show in the main feed to celebrate! And atop that, our campaign-retrospective discussion/hangout epilogue episode will go live tomorrow evening.

So join us in all this actual-play audio-entertainment revelry, join one of our stalwart patrons over on AO3 for a delightful coda once you’ve listened to the finale, and also join me, Hollyhock God ordinaire, below the jump for some post-campaign musings, if that sounds like your thing!

So here we are, the end of our first full campaign. Perhaps unsurprisingly, looking back on our first full campaign to have wrapped has me reflecting on the origins of the podcast as a whole, so if that’s of interest to you, you’re reading the right post!

Our first episode, 0.1 - The Dice Punks Play Dicepunk, went live on 14 April 2021, but it was recorded well ahead of time in late 2020. It grew out of a Quarantimes diversion earlier that year, in which casual chatting online with friends who were also stuck at home turned into a weekly-to-biweekly campaign in a system & setting I’d been interested in trying out since 2009: Over the Edge.

It’s a very rules-light system with a very 1990s, conspiratorial edge to it, so I figured it’d be a good way to get Drew and Joanne into their first major forays into tabletop gaming, as well as giving myself a fun opportunity to try out a system and setting I’d wanted to play in for a while. And so it was! Every week, we spent a few hours just telling an amusingly absurd story together.

We conducted these sessions over Discord, and someone, I don’t recall who, eventually mentioned that we could use a bot to record the sessions for posterity. That suggestion then led to someone expressing an interest in participating should I ever decide to podcast a campaign. I responded that people should not joke about such things if they didn’t want to get roped into an ongoing podcast-recording commitment, and just like that, the kind-of-a-joke turned into starting a podcast.

Things moved very quickly and very slowly after that. I’d already been thinking of a mad, quixotic follow-up campaign to OtE in an ill-advised combination of the REIGN and Nobilis systems, using a setting of my own devising. This ill-advised idea was motivated by:

my desire to finally try playing Nobilis 2nd edition, after having read about it years before (also in 2009),

my love of the One-Roll Engine used by REIGN, and

the hundreds of hours I’ve spent playing Dominions 3, 4, and 5, and sharing the stories generated by those fractally complex systems with whoever I could rope into listening.

So I pitched the system idea to people, we played a one-shot to test the system, then we started drawing up characters. In the meantime, I had found there was a system out there already called Dicepunk, so I contacted its author to ask about the name we were considering. Between us, we decided our first episode would be a one-shot in a game using the Dicepunk system, and so our Psionics one-shot came to be!

After that, of course, Nightfall had taken shape, and we got started building a backlog ahead of launching the public feed. We started off recording in Discord (as a backup) and Audacity (for the higher quality, local recordings), but moved pretty quickly to Reaper, a digital audio workstation that didn't constantly lock up my desktop. And thus have we carried on through all kinds of things: Drew getting COVID just before some early recordings, Des getting brought into the main cast, Dask ascending, the campaign running a good 25% longer than I initially thought it would, and more.

Throughout Nightfall, our listenership has remained very modest, and our patron count has fluctuated between 2 and 3 people, but even in the planning stages, our attitude was always that if even one person listened to the fruits of our efforts, it'd be well worth it. And you know what? It has been!

So! I'm going to be trying to do a lot of promotion in the next month or so, since good jumping-on points aren't that common in campaign-based actual-play shows... but I'm not good at it, and we don't exactly have an advertising budget. (The awesome people who give us their real, actual dollars have bought TTRPG books and improved audio equipment for us, but no ads as yet!) If you're so inclined, we'd love for folks to share posts like this around, give us a listen, rate and review us, recommend us to anyone they think might like our stuff, maybe even check out patreon.com/dicepunks and dicepunks.com!

If you've read this far, we appreciate it, and we hope you'll like what we do -- coming up, we have more Extreme Meatpunks Forever, a mini-series in Unknown Armies, a Halloween special, and a new campaign in Hard Wired Island!

[flock-of-cassowaries]

Fun fact, cats can be prescribed low-dose spironolactone for gender dysphoria restrictive cardiomyopathy.

Spironolactone - or, at least, the specific generic preparation of spiro my local human pharmacy carried - tastes like mint.

And I know this, because when I split the 50mg tablets into quarters for my 7 kg ball of furry genetic failure, the smell was strong. And delicious. To me.

My cat cat felt otherwise. We persevered, because he was an absolute sweetheart who accepted me sticking pills down his throat twice a day for years, but you could tell he did not enjoy the mint.

[ Potentially very helpful info for guardians of chronically-ill pets below the cut. ]

Many veterinary drugs are human drugs, and, it’s a lot cheaper - in Canada, at least - to pay out of pocket for them at your local human pharmacy than to purchase them from your vet. Like, orders of magnitude cheaper. Like, iirc, $15 vs. $175 -type cheaper.

And, in Canada at least, your loca human pharmacy will fill these prescriptions; like, this isn’t some sketchy online thing - a real pharmacist at Shopper’s Drug Mart / Rexall / Jean Coutu / Walmart will literally fill a prescription for a cat. Like, nbd, you just give it to them, say “Yeah, it’s for a cat,” and they’re like “Cool, that’ll be 30 minutes.”

And then you get a pill bottle with, like, Nacho Cheese Johnson printed on the label, which is hilarious. (This is a time when you really want to have given your cat an extremely silly name; like, if you’ve named your cat “Dave”, that’s cool, love the Kids In The Hall reference; but you have missed an opportunity here.)

The main issue is that human formulation tend to be much stronger than cat formulations - because humans are enormous - and some drugs come in formats - i.e. caplets - that cannot be safely divided.

Hence, I could get both insulin and spiro from the human pharmacy and divide it to an appropriate dosage for a 7kg cat, but not gabapentin (a caplet, whose minimum human dosage proved to be enough to cause even my objectively-very large cat to fall asleep in his food bowl).

My vet was awesome, and suggested this. The local Walmart pharmacy where I got my own antidepressants happily filled the prescriptions my vet wrote for my sick cat, and this made it financially possible for me to give him the medical care he needed to live with decent quality of life for four more years after his heart condition / diabetes / inflammatory bowel disease was diagnosed (all at once, when he got super-acutely ill; fun summer that was), rather than the six months the emergency vet predicted at the time.

There are some drugs that never get approved for human use, but are available for veterinary use; you will have to get those from your vet.

For example, my cat was on another heart medication - in addition to the spiro - that was not ever marketed for humans in Canada (but, curiously, was marketed for human use in Japan 🤷🏻‍♀️), so I had to get that one as the cat-preparation from the vet, and it was fucking pricey, unfortunately.

But still - it was super-helpful to be able to get the other drugs from a people pharmacy.

Also, for anyone in the Ottawa area with a sick cat / dog / etc. - free to DM for the name of my vet. He was great.

[yhwhrulz]

Today's Daily Encounter Friday, July 28, 2023

Keep Giving

Cornelius stared at him in fear. "What is it, Lord?" he asked. The angel answered, "Your prayers and gifts to the poor have come up as a memorial offering before God."1 When my children were younger, we ministered regularly to homeless and under-privileged families. My kids got used to "giving to the poor" and never missed an opportunity to help someone out. One day, while in the car, we pulled up to a stoplight and came upon a man holding a sign that simply read, "Hungry". Having just picked up some fast food, my son immediately thought of sharing a burger with this person. But when he reached his small hand out the window to hand over the treat, the "hungry" man scowled as he took the food without appreciation. That action was enough to discourage my son from wanting to help a needy person again.

Feeling as if a gift has been wasted can keep us from giving in the future. But we should never tire of giving generously, whether we have a little or a lot from which to give. Regardless of the way our gifts are received by those we give them to, God sees our generosity. God sees the sacrifices you may make to help others and knows each time you've put someone's needs before your own. Those actions are memorial offerings before the Lord.

Acts chapter 10 opens with an introduction to a man named Cornelius. He is known for his devout relationship with the Lord and his incredible generosity. An Angel comes to him in a vision and tells him that God has heard his prayers and his acts of charity have ascended to the very presence of God! What an honor! If Cornelius ever thought that his deeds went unnoticed, he was assured the contrary. Our generous actions are many times rejected or ill-received, but what matters is the condition of our heart when we give. Let your trust in God inspire a radical generosity toward others, it is one of the most effective ways to show people the love of Christ. Yesterday, I witnessed my son reaching out his hand once again and God's Word tells me that his actions were noticed. Keep Giving!

Suggested Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, help me to understand that when I help those in need I am serving you. In showing love to others, I am honoring you. And when I give generously, I am following your ultimate example. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Acts 10:4 (NIV).

Today's Encounter was written by: Veronica B.

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[darkcircles4lyfe]

Death to All Might, Rebirth to Yagi Toshinori

So about All Might. I’ve been extremely wary of talking about what could happen to him because straight up saying “I don’t think he’s gonna die” is asking the universe to spite me. Plus it also feels like a room full of people turning to stare at me as if I said the Sun isn’t a star. Man has death flags everywhere, I know. 

But, okay, *Bill Nye voice* consider the following:

Mr. Yagi here, if he overheard everything, just received the final nail in the coffin on his career. His time as the symbol of peace is not only over, it was in fact partially responsible for the current state of things, since he once did so much on his own that his absence now makes heroes and civilians alike ill-prepared to cope. I think it was very apt for that one guy to be wearing an All Might shirt--he was acting as a mouthpiece for the latent societal problems embedded in All Might’s legacy. 

We know already that he’s been feeling useless. I love this scene and although I’m not gonna talk about it right this second, remember what Aizawa says about just “being here” being enough:

And we know from conversations with Inko that Toshinori is also reframed his purpose around looking after Izuku. But in the end, Izuku rejected his help, and it was his classmates instead who were able to save him. Now the very progress of humanity is rejecting him too. You may me wondering how on Earth I don’t see the logical conclusion of all this being his death. Hold on. It actually has a lot to do with the fact that we’re all expecting it. Nighteye himself saw it, and despite any contrary convictions anyone might have, the plot doesn’t seem to be veering away from that end. All Might Is Gonna Die, says absolutely everything. 

It’s occurring to me that I have previous experience with this kind of plotline that probably little to no one else in this fandom shares, being that I’ve read a certain book series in which the main character is told in no uncertain terms that he will die (no, I’m not talking about hp). The series in question is T*e Und*rland Chronicl*s (censoring so it doesn’t get put in their side of tumblr) and I’m sorry but I’m about to go on a shameless tangent about it and spoil the ending for you.

So in this series there is a prophecy in every book, each one having something to do with war and conflict, and so far all of them have been right. In the last book [mc] finds out that it’s prophesied that he will be killed. Lots of the things in the prophecies are convoluted and metaphorical, but no, this one literally says “when the [mc’s title] has been killed.” He spends the whole book coming to terms with this, and he gives into it, only to find himself waking up in the hospital instead. “Wow, plot twist. /s” you may be thinking, and yeah sure, the mc in a kids book survived, big shocker. But it doesn't end there. After the war, there are peace talks, but they escalate until the two sides are on the verge of declaring war again. And [mc], bless him, has just been caught in the middle of all of this the entire time. He’s sick as shit of fighting, of watching the suffering and death of people he cares about. He draws his sword against both of them angrily, gives a speech saying he won’t take a side, and then promptly breaks his sword across his knee: “There. [mc’s title in the prophecies] is dead. I killed him.” He’s giving a huge middle finger to everyone there, to the man who wrote the prophecies, to the entire fucked up culture of it all. And so something that was taken literally turns out to be metaphorical. That is, if you still believe in the prophecies at all.

Hopefully you’re catching my drift here. What I’m saying is, even though this other series has nothing to do with bnha, it goes to show sometimes it’s the most absolute certainties that are red herrings, and a “death” can consequently be a symbolic one. In All Might’s case, it could be the death of hero society and a rejection of his own past. In other words, character development for Toshinori himself that reflects on the way the world is changing, too. Also there’s the fact that the mc from that other series I’m trying not to name has an honorary title, and I’m imagining that role he occupied “dying” could correspond to something that amounts to, “All Might is dead. I (Yagi Toshinori) killed him.” 

And here’s another thing: we also have to ask ourselves what good a dead Toshinori is to Izuku, narratively speaking. Yes, Izuku has spent his whole life idolizing even the more toxic parts of All Might, and his idealized vision of his hero does need to “die.” But how about Toshinori as a father figure?  Izuku regretting that his last interaction with Toshinori was to reject his help may drive home the fact that he shouldn’t go off on his own, but at this point it’s kinda redundant. If anything it would negate some of the progress that was just made because it’d make him extra paranoid about losing other people too. To be honest, the whole “Uncle Ben” trope, the mentor/father figure who dies and gives the mc a reason to do better, is so tired. Experiencing the death of a loved one really doesn’t deserve to be romanticized like that. I might as well admit that I’m speaking from experience, and let me tell you, losing someone you love suddenly, when you weren’t around, and with unfinished business--it makes you paranoid as hell that it will happen again. It literally gives me nightmares. Y’all, I cannot stress enough that trauma does not equal character development. Granted, just because I know this doesn’t mean Horikoshi does, but in general he does seem to lead his characters toward healing.

Okay, back to the present. Toshinori is turning away from UA. He likely feels useless and rejected. We can infer that what happens next will involve Stain, and we have a couple of extra clues to go with it: Stain considers All Might a true hero, and has stated that he would let All Might kill him. And since Horikoshi loves his parallels, we also have this fight between Endeavor and this random villain who admires him so much that he wants to die by Endeavor’s hand:

This suggests a confrontation in which Stain challenges All Might to live up to himself as he once was, so that as a hero he can vanquish Stain and symbolically overcome society's perversion of that role. But based on what All Might has learned about the system he upheld, Stain is wrong. All Might is not a “true hero” in the sense that the societal issues Stain witnessed exist not in spite of All Might, but (in part) because of him, because he took too much of the responsibility for himself.

Stain probably had no idea about the personal cost of All Might’s lonely burden until after the fact. Maybe he’s seeing it now. So then perhaps the confrontation would be more about Stain claiming he’s just as fake as the rest. Either way, Toshinori has the opportunity to denounce himself and be rid of “All Might,”  to stop living in his own shadow. Nighteye’s vision has been defied before, and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the combination of society shifting + Toshinori’s own conviction is enough to do it again and work fate in his favor.

He is not All Might. He is Yagi Toshinori: quirkless, worn down, and directionless except for his dedication to Izuku. If he survives his interaction with Stain, he can resolve his imperfect mentorship by confessing about his shortcomings and simply supporting Izuku as a part of his family, not as his teacher (as Aizawa said, just “being there”). And that’s how you really get character development, for both of them. I mean, shit, imagine Toshinori straight up telling Izuku to stop calling him All Might.

[silenceofthecookies]

Hello cookie, congratulations on 700! For the event, can I plz ask for domestic headcanons for the bleach captains? If not that's ok! Thank you!

Of course! Enjoy!

Shunsui Kyouraku

Shunsui is at the age where he no longer plays around in a relationship. He's in it until the end, or not at all. He insists on open an honest communication and on being able to talk differences out like adults instead of screaming at each other like two stubborn teenagers.

He will do pretty much anything you ask him to do in the house. Captain or not, you shouldn't be the only one keeping your house clean and organized.

Waking up with a bad mood when living together with Shunsui is impossible. He prefers to have you in his arms when going to sleep, and he will hold on to you throughout the night. When he wakes up, he'll stay as still as possible until you wake up. Then it's time for morning kisses and cuddles.

Shunsui enjoys stargazing with you in the garden, accompanied by a nice bottle of sake and some snacks. He'll have his arms around you, or even have you sitting on his lap if you're comfortable with that, just so he can comfortably hug you and still watch the stars.

Juushiro Ukitake

Due to his illness, Juushiro can't do all that much in the house on bad days. On good days though, he likes to take the opportunity to cook for you. He enjoys is and is very good at making typical home-food. Nothing fancy or exotic, but the kind of things that are nutritious and make you feel happy.

Juushiro enjoys being near you more than anything. It doesn't matter if you two are doing different things in the same room, as long as you are near him and sometimes look up to smile at him, he will be happy. This is why he insists on getting a house with an open kitchen.

He also likes to decorate the house with lots of potted plants. Flowers to brighten up the room, some herbs for in the kitchen to cook with, and some bonsai trees for him to occupy himself with on days when he can't leave his bed.

He really enjoys you combing his hair, and if possible, he will gladly return the favour. Ideally, he'll sit in front of a big mirror when you do so, so he can look you in the eyes though the mirror as he talks to you. You can style his hair pretty much anyway you want.

Bakuya Kuchiki

Byakuya does what he can to be a good boyfriend/husband, but he is and will always be a noble. Things like housework is done by the servants, not by him. This counts for you too, of course. You won't need to lift a finger. He won't really understand if you want to do certain things in the house anyway (be it for the sake of control or just because you like something), but he'll let you.

Well-taught as he is, Byakuya wouldn’t be able to cook a meal if his life depended on it. He never learned how to cook, and he has no intention of learning it either.

Despite his busy schedule, he tries to have dinner with you every night. It’s not always possible, and sometimes when it is he has to go back to finish work afterwards, but he wants to make some time for you every day.

He will often get you little gifts. Flowers, chocolates, jewellery… Sometimes because he saw them and thought of you, sometimes just because he wanted to spoil you a little. Whenever he has something to apologise for, like for example not being able to make it to dinner with you, he gets you something as well.

Unohana, Shinji, Yoruichi, Urahara, Toshiro, Soi-Fohn and Kenpachi below the cut!

Retsu Unohana

Retsu's house is full of plants, and it wouldn't be complete without a garden as well. Most plants that she grows have some kind of medicinal properties, or can be used to make a nice, calming cup of tea. Teatime is a must, and if the weather allows it, she prefers to have it in her garden.

The plants are pretty much the only bright colours in the house. Aside from those, everything is in soft colours so the plants really pop out. There's also very little dark colours in the house, she prefers everything to be light. Big windows/windows that cover a complete wall are a must.

Retsu insists on no shoes in the house. They are left at the door and changed for indoor slippers or socks. No. Dirty. Shoes. In. The. House.

Marriage is no big deal for Retsu. If you want to get married, she'll be on board, but if you don't want to, she's just as fine with that as well. She appreciates the symbolism but at the end of the day, that's all marriage is. She doesn't need a piece of paper to tell people that she loves you and that she wants to spend the rest of her life with you.

Shinji Hirako

Shinji loves teasing you and once you live in the same house, that just gets worse. His terribly cheesy sense of humor is also still a daily occurrence. Yes, even when you're in a bad mood. Especially when you're in a bad mood.

Shinji is very lazy when it comes to his household. He'll make sure it's clean enough to not get sick from living in his own trash and dirt, but he'll push his chores off a lot and he'll leave his stuff lying around throughout the house. If you're a person who likes a clean and/or tidy house, you'll either have to kick his ass or clean up after him.

Surprise kisses. They happen a lot in general, just when he feels like it, but especially when you're in a video chat. He thinks it's hilarious to have your friends/family/co-workers think you have a perfect and loving boyfriend/husband, while he's actually a cheeky little bastard.

He leaves little notes throughout the house when he leaves. Some are sweet, some are jokes. He'll put them in the fridge, on the toilet, inside the shower, on his pillow,… anywhere he knows you'll come.

Yoruichi Shihoin

There is one night of the week dedicated to movie night and takeout. Both the eating and watching the movie will be done in bed. No, this is not up for debate. Lazy movie nights in bed are a must.

Be prepared for this woman wearing little to no clothes when she's home. She doesn't give a damn if people see her naked or not, and you're living together anyway, who cares if she's naked? Clothes are for going outside and for when visitors come over.

She loves taking baths or showers together as well, and not (necessarily) in a suggestive way. It's just a nice way to relax together, ‘and it saves water, right? *wink wink*’

She's actually a pretty good cook, at least when it comes to comfort food. When either of you are in a bad mood she'll step into the kitchen and make some of the best comfort food you've ever had. Which will then, of course, be eaten on the couch or in bed, in front of the tv, with a comfort movie.

Her favourite movies are comedies and romcoms. Anything that'll give her a good laugh is fine.

Kisuke Urahara

Another very laid-back person to live with. There is no rush at all when living with this man, with anything. He's the type of person to be at least a little late to every party or meeting because he just wanted to take his time and get ready in a relaxed way.

Don't let him take care of plants. He is the worst plant dad and they will die. Only cacti survive, and even those will struggle to do so.

Kisuke moves around in his sleep a lot and will steal the covers. A good way to remedy this is to use his chest as a pillow, he'll barely move at all then. Does the pressure on his chest really keep him still, or did he move around a lot on purpose as an excuse to get to you cuddle up to him at night? You will never know.

This man is very clingy. It doesn't matter what you're doing, he wants to have his arms around you. You're cooking? His arms are around your waist. You're trying to clean up? Good luck. His favourite moment is when you're both watching tv though. He'll pull you as close to possible to cuddle up on the couch.

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Toshiro has the windows open all-year round in his bedroom. Even when it is freezing outside, he'll want to open the windows for some fresh air as he sleeps, so he doesn't wake up in that stuffy sleep air that gets stuck in bedrooms. This does give a great excuse for cuddling while sleeping though.

He'll get you flowers every week, on the same day. It's a habit, one he doesn't want to miss. It's his way of reminding you that he cares, even though he's usually very busy with his work as a captain.

He'll agree a schedule with you to do chores in the house, just to make sure it all gets done and nothing gets forgotten. Of course, he helps in the house as well.

If you're not a fighter, Toshiro will want a dog in the house to protect you. Toshiro is very good at training dogs, as he is already used to being a leader and giving orders, and this dog will be the sweetest thing until either you or him give it the command to attack. He really counts on the dog to protect you when he cannot.

Soi-Fohn

Soi-Fohn will decorate her home in a minimalistic way. The colours don't jump out at you and there is just enough decoration to make it feel homely without having trinkets and pictures all over the place. Her home basically radiates calm and is so clean you'd almost wonder if she cleaned every day.

She sleeps with a lot of blankets. During the night she will want to say warm and she'll get closer to any source of warmth, which usually is you.

You need but say the word and Soi-Fohn will help you out with whatever she can in the house. Grocery shopping, the dishes, the laundry,… you name it. She will also start doing things without saying it if she notices you are a little overwhelmed.

She REALLY wants a cat. She loves the little creatures and has always wanted one of her own, but due to her often being away from home for extended periods of time, she never got one. If you've got a job that allows you to go home every day, she'll definitely bring it up.

Of het days off, she likes to cook something for you. She's actually a pretty good cook, though she rarely has the time to prepare something special for you.

Kenpachi Zaraki

Kenpachi is oddly clingy when you're home. He loves you, so he wants to be around you. Preferably have an arm around you. He's not shy about admitting it either. Why should he be? He wants to hold you. He's your boyfriend/husband. It's only normal.

He is the easiest guy ever to cook for. As long as you have made it, Kenpachi will eat about anything. Doesn't matter if you burnt it a little, doesn't matter if it's something he usually doesn't like. If you made it, he will eat it.

His favourite food is BBQ though, and when you eat BBQ he's the one making it. It's about the only thing he can cook, but that meat is prepared perfectly. He'll wear an apron will some stupid BBQ-related pun on it whenever he's doing so.

Kenpachi needs a dog in the house to play with, to get rid of that excess energy of his. It's likely a breed that's generally seen as dangerous, like a Pitbull. The dog is the absolute sweetest thing though, wouldn't harm a fly, and it loves playing fetch.

Kenpachi lets his dog sleep on his bed, which will cause some funny moments while trying to cuddle because the dog wants in on the affection too.

[spneveryseason]

Deep dive into season 7 when Sam lets Lucifer in during Repo Man. We know Lucifer is really Sam's own voice in his head, but is it really the way Sam talks to himself or is it they way Lucifer talked to Sam in the cage. Especially things like "hit her" when Jeffrey's mother wouldn't tell her what was going on and "You really knocked the cork out of her piehole" when she starts spilling. We know from Soulless that Sam has a major filter on his snark so is this him or Lucifer?

I will take any opportunity at all to speak about Hallucifer, thank you!!

So, right off the bat. Hallucifer, as a concept, is a manifestation of Sam, of Sam’s trauma vis a vis the cage. Hallucifer is 100% Sam.

We know this for several reasons. Firstly: the difference between Lucifer’s personality in season 5 versus the Hallucifer manifestation. Season 5 Lucifer is soft-spoken, cunning, purposeful, gleefully manipulative. Hallucifer is…a lot less subtle, a lot louder, a lot more flamboyant: both versions are cruel, but in very different ways. The purpose behind the cruelty, as well as the impact of it, is different too. Post season 7 portrayals of Lucifer fold the Hallucifer characterization into the mix, which is unfortunate, because I think it not only takes away from the gravitas of season 5 Lucifer, but it also lessens the impact of Hallucifer as a manifestations of Sam’s mind and a coping mechanism. Not to say Lucifer can’t exhibit some of Halluicfer’s characterizations: he can. But I feel like mixing together the impact and motivations of real Lucifer and Hallucifer is missing the point of both.

Taking this into account: Repo Man. I think this episode is excellent proof of the Hallucifer-is-Sam conversation, and has lots of moments that truly define what he is and what he’s doing there. Previously, Hallucifer had represented things Sam wanted to escape: images of torture, trauma, and pain. Hallucifer’s early season showings were all about getting Sam to confront the terrible things he’d seen and experienced: thus, a manifestation of the trauma that he had been through. He later became a reflection of Sam’s slowing declining mental state: whispering his own thoughts of self-harm or even suicidal ideation back to him. It isn’t the first time Sam has done this (use people he knows as manifestations for his deterioration) and it won’t be the last. I also want to take a quick moment to note this: Sam has seen Lucifer’s true face. Lucifer went in the Cage in Sam. But when Sam sees Lucifer, he sees Nick. Why? Well, I think Sam’s mind picked him deliberately, as the one tie Sam had pre-Cage with Lucifer to separate him from the Cage experience further.

In this episode, though, Hallucifer evolves further. Not only is he now the trauma manifestation, he also begins to take a role as Sam’s thought process. Throughout the episode, it’s made pretty clear that Sam is struggling hard. His mental state is nosediving at an alarming rate, and he’s losing the ability to function. He’s seemingly unable to do simple tasks like remember names and make simple logical leaps. What seems to scare him most, however, is that Hallucifer still can do so, and actually begins helping him out. As you note, he even makes suggestions (mostly harsh and pragmatic, albeit in a joking way) that increases Sam’s efficiency as a hunter. Sam acknowledges him to continue to allow himself to function, which turns out to be a mistake as the hold of the hallucination on his mind increases dramatically.

So, in light of what we discussed earlier: what does all that mean?

Firstly, it means that Sam doesn’t see Hallucifer as part of himself at all. He regards him almost as a parasite of sorts, or an illness from an outside source. He doesn’t seem to acknowledge that Hallucifer is the symptom, not the poison. This means that he believes giving Hallucifer control is losing control of himself. This is true, in a way (as this is his trauma taking over) but. It’s still him, a part of himself that he wants to deny as him.

Secondly, it means that Sam’s subconscious is trying its hardest to hang on to sanity. Hallucifer’s ability to function is Sam’s brain reaching out and trying to battle through his intensely bad mental state to continue to function, and it works. But, it also worsens Sam, because it signals to him that he needs help, and that he can’t do things on his own anymore. This acknowledgement seems to paradoxically make him spiral even further, thus increasing the potency of the hallucinations on his mind.

Thirdly, Hallucifer’s callousness, pragmatism, and dark humor echoes someone else’s as you have mentioned: Soulless Sam. On top of everything else, Sam is also dealing with what happened with Soulless Sam and the residual fear of what he might really be like deep down inside. Soulless Sam was a part of Sam, and so is Hallucifer: the dark parts of himself that he wishes to hide. So, in a way, Hallucifer is a reoccurrence of Soulless Sam. He is also Sam’s fear of Soulless Sam: the fear that it is only by embracing the worst of himself (in Sam’s mind) that he will be useful. So accepting Hallucifer in is acknowledging this fear, thereby sending Sam further into his spiral of fear and shame and hurt.

So to answer your question: could Lucifer have spoken to Sam like this in the Cage? Yes, probably. The amount of time they’ve spent together, Sam probably saw him behave in every way imaginable. However, in this case, I don’t think it’s relevant. Lucifer (in Nick’s body) is simply a vessel Sam uses to house his thoughts: particularly, the ones he finds distressing, so that he can better cope with what he is seeing and experiencing. Hallucifer is Sam, just as much as any other of his hallucinations has been Sam.

[cruelfeline]

In light of all that we’ve learned with this most wonderful final season, some people have asked me to reassess Hordak’s backstory monologue. To see how Hordak’s narrative fits with what we now know about his home. To try to discern exactly what its discrepancies are, and why.

I’m going to do that! But before I do, I would remind everyone: this is a little difficult to fully untangle because, given that Hordak is not a main character and thus does not have the focus that we’d like, we really don’t know a whole lot about the Horde in terms of function, social roles, and general history. So this is going to be very much limited by what I can glean from exactly what the show gives us.

That said, it’ll hopefully still be interesting. So!

During season three, after recovering from his syncopal episode, Hordak describes to Entrapta what he is, what he was, and how he came to be on Etheria. He describes himself as a defective clone who, once upon a time, was the top general in the galactic Horde. When his defect became too much of a burden, he was apparently demoted, sent to the front lines to fight until death, and arrived on Etheria by way of unexplained portal.

This is what Hordak tells us, and, as far as we know, he’s not lying. Hordak, as portrayed in the show, is a very honest person, both in his own actions and in the actions he expects of others. He greatly dislikes deception and does not appear skillfully capable of it himself (save for that one time). Knowing this, we generally have to assume that, in his own mind, what Hordak is saying is true.

So. What gives, right?

After all, once we see the galactic Horde in action, we learn that it is a played-straight, honest-to-the-gods cult. There’s nothing distinctly military about it. It’s not a bigger, grander version of Hordak’s Etherian Horde.

It is a cult with a god-brother-creator at the helm, commanding countless identical acolytes who live their lives in slavish devotion to their master. There do not appear to be any ranks. We hear nothing about any generals, let alone a “top general.” There doesn’t even appear to be a need for anything like that, because Prime doesn’t seem to really delegate to his brothers in a way that singles them out or relies on real autonomy from them.

He can, after all, read their minds at will and slip into their bodies whenever he fancies. If he needs to make a decision about a battle on a planet at the other edge of the galaxy, he can just take over a body on that planet and make said decision himself. Or, at the very least, enter the relevant clone’s mind and influence the decision as needed. He doesn’t need, and certainly doesn’t appear to tolerate, clones taking their own initiative.

So, again: what gives? What does Hordak mean by “top general”? Why does he think he has this elevated role when we can see that Prime considers all of his clones the equivalent of faceless bodies to be used a he likes?

Well, while we will likely never know the full truth, given the lack of Horde background detail, we can safely assume some things from what canon shows us.

Namely that, while all clones appear indistinguishable and do not seem to have named rank, there are definitely clone positions that work more closely with Prime than others. His attendants are one example. Those who are in his throne room feeding him information while he is working are another. (Hordak actually appears to be one of these, at least while Prime is trying to hack the Heart of Etheria, when Entrapta is captured.) And then, of course, there are the chosen vessels that will one day house Prime’s consciousness.

All of these positions can likely be occupied by any clone, with bodies switched out as needed (likely what happened when Hordak got sick). I doubt that individual clones have any sort of real rank. Prime knows this. Hordak and his brothers, I suspect, may not fully understand it. 

Rather, I would not be surprised if Hordak, deceived and indoctrinated into believing things about himself and about Prime that are not true, misinterprets the nature of his purpose and the truth of his relationship with his Brother. He believes that, fulfilling whatever role he was fulfilling for Prime, he was a general, an individual of note, an individual that Prime specially valued. Perhaps he fulfilled the role long enough that, in all but name, it became “his.” Perhaps he even fulfilled it well enough that Prime praised him frequently, cementing this unfortunate delusion. Perhaps Prime gave him legitimate favor -  a false thing, of course; simply a controlling tool, but Hordak did not realize that. 

Without canon confirmation, we can really only speculate, but these ideas seem reasonable.

Details aside, the point of the matter is that Hordak sees himself as “top general” because he sadly doesn’t understand that he is an interchangeable piece of a utilitarian machine. He truly thinks that he has this coveted position, that he is particularly useful, special, of great value. It’s a tragic misunderstanding that simply fuels his misguided devotion to Prime and prevents him from seeking freedom when he is given the opportunity. 

It’s something, I think, that people in very controlling religious organizations often end up thinking: that they are especially valued, worthy in some way that others are not. It’s part of how the organization controls them. 

By the by, there is also the theory that Hordak has suffered memory erasure before and is thus doubly confused, filling in blanks with fantasy, but given that we have no direct evidence of that, I’m not really going to go into it; it’s a popular bit of speculation, though.

Now, however, let us examine a different aspect of this. Labels aside, delusions aside, we are left with another conundrum: however Hordak interprets his position, it is very clear to us that said position does not actually offer the power or respect that a legitimate high military rank would offer. It does not appear to provide Hordak with any special treatment. 

Once upon a time, back when we first learned of Hordak’s backstory, it was somewhat assumed that the position would do something like this. Numerous fans speculated about how it might be a position that gave a clone dominion over others, or over their own personal ships or planets; some fans suggested that it might give a clone the right to a name. Now, of course, we know that none of these speculations are true: all of Prime’s clones are essentially interchangeable; all are part of a hive mind that eliminates the need for certain clones directing others; no clone is allowed a name, no matter what their current job might be.

So. What, exactly, is Hordak practically gaining here? Despite this position appearing to hold zero effective esteem, despite it necessitating Hordak giving up his self and his autonomy, it is abundantly clear that he desperately wants it back. Why? 

What about this position, whatever it may or may not be called, would provide Hordak with this sense of value, of specialness, of personal worth? After all, Hordak may be deluded, but he’s not stupid; even indoctrinated, he can tell that he doesn’t hold dominion over other clones, or have a right to his own name. He can tell that he doesn’t receive any functional privileges, that his own sense of value doesn’t translate into anything that you or I would think is “worth the price of admission,” so to speak. 

In light of that incredibly steep price, what does this position offer, in a world where military rank appears irrelevant? What does it offer, in exchange for Hordak’s name and his bodily autonomy and his freedom? In short, what does it offer that makes Hordak think it worth sacrificing so much for? 

Well. 

It offers closeness to Prime, doesn’t it? It offers the chance to work near him, to bask in his presence, to be spoken to and looked upon and touched by him. It offers the chance to receive his praise, personally. It offers the chance to perhaps -  hopefully, wishfully - receive his love.

Because that’s what Hordak really wants. Not dominion over others, or a fancy military title. He wants that emotional connection. He wants that approval and validation. He wants love. And for so much of the series, for so much of his life, he believes that love comes only from Prime. That working closely with him, being of use to him, will provide him with that sense of belonging and acceptance and affectionate care that he hungers for. That it will make him worthy and loved.

(There’s a line in the deleted Entrapdak scene, where Prime calls Hordak the “most unloved and unworthy” among his brothers that really cements the idea that worthiness is synonymous with love within the galactic Horde)

This is what marks the position as “special” in Hordak’s eyes: it is special because it stands the greatest chance of providing him with Prime’s love.

All of it is a lie, of course. Because Prime only “loves” his brothers as extensions of himself, and even then, only if they are physically useful to him. Once Hordak starts to lag behind due to his illness, he is quickly removed from Prime’s presence and sent to the front lines, destined to fight until defect or battle kills him. And yet it is a lie so powerful, and the clones’ need for Prime’s love so great, that he is able to use it to control them even when they are separated from him. To the point that a sickly clone trapped in a shadow dimension will forgo freedom in his desperate bid to feel wanted and treasured by his cruel god.

Eventually, thankfully, Hordak finds a true version of the connection he craves, someone who looks at him and acknowledges him, values him and loves him as he is, without him needing to prove himself useful. He finds Entrapta, and she provides that love that he sought from Prime.

This is why, even though Hordak actually ends up working in Prime’s throne room again, ends up close to him once more, he breaks free from control and kills his Brother. Throughout season five, Hordak remembers Entrapta. He remembers how she makes him feel. He remembers her love... and he realizes that it is not the same as Prime's. It is sincere. It is unconditional. It accepts him as his own flawed person, rather than the perfect drone Prime wants him to be. It is deeper and more true and more real than the hollow sham Prime offers.

And so Hordak rejects this once-coveted position, rejects Prime, and frees himself. He makes the choice between a false, controlling “love” and the real, heartfelt thing. He makes the choice, and he chooses Entrapta.

In the end, the greatest disconnect between what Hordak tells us in season three and what is true isn’t the word “general,” or even the cruel difference between how Prime views the clones, and how they view him. It is the impression of why Hordak wants such a position at all, of what it means to him. What initially comes off as a disgraced military man seeking to regain former glory is actually a lost, unloved soul desperately searching for the emotional connection he needs.

And, after many mistakes, after much hardship, he finally finds it.

[tsukidrama]

this is the only thing i'm going to say on the matter. i am so beyond fucking done with this situation that it's not even funny. i have tried to stay out of this. for days i have ignored the drama and tried to let mars handle it on her own, but we have reached a point where the harassment needs to stop.

for the past few days, mars and i have been dealing with the fallout from a very disgruntled user looking for attention. i am making a point not to use any identifying name/url in this post to emphasize the fact that i am not trying to send hate in this person's direction. they are a minor and it is obvious that there are a multitude of mental health issues at play.

mars has made an attempt to handle this privately at every stage only to be repeatedly blasted on this user's account in public. after three days of nonstop harassment i have run out of patience. neither she or i wanted to drag this out, but this situation has spiraled out of control.

again, i do not want this person to receive hate on behalf of mars and i, but this behavior needs to come to an end. i am sick and tired of being sent screenshots and being asked what's going on.

we do not want to be associated with this person and we have made every effort to get them to stop. there's nothing that the two of us want more than for this person to stop making posts about us and contacting us, but they are continuing to make a spectacle.

the only reason i am making this post is to counter the absolutely insane narrative this person is spinning. i feel like at this point, our shared mutuals deserve a full explanation. i'm actually mind-boggled that it's escalated to this point.

i will not be making any more posts in reference to this situation because the user in question has taken several opportunities to try and derail us. i will not discuss the specific things that have been said in an attempt to avoid being attacked further, although it is significant to note that these claims are untrue and honestly balls to the wall crazy for anybody who has actually met the two of us....

despite the hate and harassment that has been flung at my wife (and by extension myself and another mutual friend), we have not reciprocated. in fact, i have never once interacted with this user. i never followed them back, i never exchanged a single message with them, i never even VISITED THEIR BLOG.

to claim that i have spoken with them, much less insulted this person is a complete lie - they have sent three messages to my ask box and i deleted every single one of them within 5 minutes of having received them.

in my opinion, the best way to handle people who display attention-seeking and manipulative behavior in this way is to block and ignore them. i did that. AND TWO DAYS LATER i am still receiving screenshots and notifications from this drama. the user keeps blocking and re-blocking both mars and i as well as commenting on our mutuals posts.

again, to emphasize: a VERY concerted effort was made to avoid this tumblr user entirely. i have not ever and still do not wish ill will upon this person, but i never had any interest in developing a parasocial relationship with them seeing as our content didn't align and the way they interacted with mars was offputting from the start. "the vibes were off" if you will...

i don't know what else to do to get this person to leave us alone. they are now making threats of suicide and claiming that it is "our" fault. i do not know how else to handle this. myself and multiple others have reported the blog to tumblr staff already.

all mars and i want at this point is for the harassment to end. there doesn't feel like a clear way to wrap this up. i just wanted to give an account of this from my point of view since it has become public despite myself and mars' attempts to contain it.

i suggest that you do not leave comments on this post as it will likely make you a target for harassment. if you DM me privately i will explain the full story. this never should have been posted publicly to begin with.

i apologize to anybody who has gotten caught up in this drama.

[silverflame2724]

A cute prompt for you to make up for the angst: Merman Au. In a world where humans and mer are acquainted communities (trade and navigation partners), Mer-WWX sees human prince Lan Zhan and tried to get his attention! Splashing to draw eyes, making acrobatic jumps to impress, wearing his best jiaro silks, leaving cute trinkets on his windowsill in the hopes that he will like them, and singing enchanting songs for his Prince, all hoping that Lan Zhan will sing back and court him (mermaids court with music and gifts so write a completely smitten WWX and go nuts!)

Oh thank you!! I absolutely adore merman/jiaoren!WWX!! And this prompt is so nice! I really appreciate you giving me such a happy prompt since my grandaunt died two days ago from Covid.

_______________________________

It was a complete coincidence that brought them together. Wei Wuxian swam to the surface, intent on exchanging the jiaoren goods for coin and food, when he noticed the bright decorations around town.

As he handed the stuff over, red tail swishing every now and then, he asked the vendor, “What’s going on? Is there a festival I don’t know about?”

“Ah, Young Master Wei! You’re just in time! The second prince is coming here!”

“Second Prince? Why is he coming here?” 

“It’s just a yearly inspection.”

What? Wei Wuxian hadn’t heard about this in all the years he’d been here!

“Why haven’t I heard about this before?”

“Ah....the Second Prince doesn’t like crowded places or making a big deal about his arrival, so he takes some sort of alternate route to come here. Though, this year, that route was flooded.”

“I see.....”

“Do you want to see him?” The vendor asked upon noticing Wei Wuxian’s thoughtful look. “He’s rumored to be a beautiful person, second only to his brother, the Emperor. We can get a few of my friends to carry a tub over so you can see him!”

“Oh! I couldn’t bother you all that way.” Wei Wuxian politely refused. “I have other errands to do, unfortunately.”

“Oh....”

The real reason he was thoughtful was because of his and his people’s prior horrible experience with royals. They had fled Lanling, where the king had captured many of his people for the pearls they cried in place of tears. Gusu had been reportedly better, its Emperor laying down a law that bans the harm of mythical creatures such as the jiaoren. But Wei Wuxian didn’t want to risk any sort of attention to his people after they had just escaped. 

Wei Wuxian waved goodbye and dove back under the water. When he arrived at his home after going through a series of underwater caves, he found out his parents knew of these yearly visits from the prince and that it was fine to wander around since the prince doesn’t usually stay for long.

Wei Wuxian nodded along and decided to do make sure to distribute the food and coin around his community. 

Before he knew it, the sun had set. Wei Wuxian returned to the surface, considering he wanted to have some spicy human food for dinner. After eating on the edge of the dock, tail partially in to keep himself from drying, he heard music from afar.

Curious as to the owner of such a beautiful sound, he submerges and follows the sound towards a more secluded area of the dock. There, dressed in shades of blue, was a young boy, seemingly around Wei Wuxian’s age, playing the guqin with nary an expression on his face.

Something itched within Wei Wuxian and he had the urge to tease the boy into making a new sort of expression. As quiet as a mouse, he snuck close to the boy and burst out of the water, shouting, “Boo!”

As he expected, the white-clothed human became startled and nearly jumped in shock. Wei Wuxian cackled until he came face with a sword. He held his hands up in surrender even as his heart beat fast.

“Who are you?” The boy demanded.

Wei Wuxian lifted his head from the sword to come face to face with the most beautiful boy he had ever seen. The boy in front of him had the most entrancing pair of golden eyes. The boy narrowed his eyes and repeated his question, though the sword at his neck faltered a little.

Wei Wuxian took the opportunity to swim a little farther from the boy and pouted. “Gege, I just wanted to surprise you! You looked so serious sitting by yourself! You should look happier on such a beautiful night such as this!” The boy didn’t change his expression. “Also! Isn’t it rude to point your sword at a stranger?” 

“You do not know who I am?”

He’s probably some noble considering not many people own swords, but him specifically? “Nope! Should I know who you are?” He’s probably new or something. I haven’t seen him around before and nobles don’t usually come around these parts. ....Hmm, perhaps he’s here to see the prince?

The boy seemed to relax a little and put away his sword. “.....I apologize for pointing my sword at you. I was....unsure if you meant ill.”

“Why would I voluntarily bring harm to a stranger?”

“...” The human turned away and turned to his guqin, checking for damage.

“Hey, hey! Beautiful human with gold eyes! Don’t ignore meeee! Look at me, look at me!!”

The human merely sighed in exasperation.

Wei Wuxian’s pout became more pronounced and his tail splashed in irritation. The human’s eyes went wide with curiosity and shock and Wei Wuxian realized his mistake. “..Uhh....”

“A jiaoren?”

“Yeah! Do you have a problem with that?” Wei Wuxian said, guarded.

“No. I have never seen one before.”

“I see.” 

The atmosphere became awkward with the ensuing silence but Wei Wuxian could never stay quiet for long.

“So what brings you around these parts? I’ve never seen you before!”

“......I came with the prince’s entourage.” There was something odd in his tone.

“I see. You know, I’ve never seen the prince before. Is he as beautiful as the rumors suggest?”

“Vanity is against the rules.”

“Whose rules?”

“The palace’s.”

“Hmph. Well, this isn’t the palace. it’s fine to say something, hm?”

“....Gossiping is against the rules. Talking behind someone’s back is forbidden.”

Wei Wuxian threw his hands up. “Well, if I can’t talk about the prince, then tell me about you! That’s not against the rules, isn’t it?”

“........”

“A name! At least tell me your name! Mine’s Wei Wuxian, but Gege can call me Wei Ying since we’re already so close!”

“Shameless!” The boy hissed, ears red. 

“Oh come on!! I told you my name, it’s only fair that you tell me yours! Don’t be rude, Gege!”

“.....Zhan.”

“Hm?”

“Lan Zhan.” He repeated.

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian murmured and Lan Zhan nodded. Hmm. It’s a birth name, not a courtesy name. Is he trying to hide his identity? He’s not doing a very good job though, considering ‘Lan’ is the name of the royal family. Perhaps he’s a relative of the prince’s? I wouldn’t expect a prince to be out here by himself without guards so he must be a guard or something. Hmm. It’s something to think about later. It doesn’t seem like he means harm even after knowing what I am. Regardless, it’s not like he could follow me back to my home even if he did mean ill. Humans can’t hold their breath for that long. “Well, Lan Zhan, now that we know each other’s names, you’re now my friend!”

“........We do not know each other.”

“That’s what we’re talking for, silly! We’re getting to know each other, right?”

“Hm.” Lan Zhan packed his guqin away. “I must go. It is late.”

“Late? We’ve hardly talked though! Don’t leave me here, Lan-gege!” Wei Wuxian whined.

“Not.....Not.....gege.”

“Hm?”

“I have an older brother.”

“Hm? Oh.....oh! Okay, I understand! Lan-er-gege!”

Lan Zhan looked away, gripping his sword. “I will come back tomorrow night.”

“Huh?” Then he connected the dots. “Oh! Okay! See you later, Er-gege!”

Lan Zhan nodded and left. It was only when he couldn’t see him anymore did Wei Wuxian realize he could have just asked where Lan Zhan lived. If it was close to the water, he could just swim to him. That might put him close to the prince and other people from the palace which wasn’t a very comforting thought. He still didn’t know whether to trust the Gusu royals, despite possibly conversing with one.

.......................

The next few nights passed by in a similar fashion, with Wei Wuxian trying to get Lan Zhan’s attention and Lan Zhan hardly giving the jiaoren an inch.

Wei Wuxian, however, saw this as a challenge and began to do many things to get Lan Zhan’s attention. The most effective one was splashing him, though it earned him a glare as well as Lan Zhan predicting it and being able to dodge more often than not.

He moved onto trying to impress Lan Zhan by performing difficult acrobatic tricks. Lan Zhan looked amazed at this and Wei Wuxian was extremely smug, quickly turning an embarrassed red when Lan Zhan praised him, with a, “Beautiful.”

Wei Wuxian wailed, hiding his face in his hands, “Lan-er-gege, you can’t just say that!”

“Why?”

“It’s too embarrassing!!”

“Wei Ying calls me beautiful all the time.” Lan Zhan deadpanned.

Wei Wuxian peeked at him from in between his fingers, “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” He demanded. “You can’t just tease me like this! Where did the Lan Zhan who got so easily flustered go?” 

Lan Zhan said nothing, but Wei Wuxian could see the faint upturn of his lips that made his overall expression smug.

And Wei Wuxian didn’t know why, but it made his heart beat faster/

.......

It escalated. Because of course it did. Wei Wuxian wanted to hear Lan Zhan praise him again and see that faint smile again - no matter if it was smug or not.

He wore his best jiaoxiao silks - ones he personally weaved -, danced, and....and even sang to him. Lan Zhan even joined him sometimes, playing on the guqin.

He returned every night, sighing into his parents’ embrace about his Lan Zhan and his parents shot him increasingly knowing looks until they laid down the truth. 

“You’re courting him, aren’t you, A’ Ying?” His father asked.

“C-Court?”

“Yes, A’ Ying.” His mother patiently said. “You wore the most beautiful jiaoxiao silks you weaved, danced a well-known courting dance, and even sang for him. If you aren’t courting him, if you aren’t in love with him, then I call bullshit.”

Wei Wuxian clutched his burning cheeks. “Courting?” Am I really courting Lan Zhan? I mean.....I like it when he praises me and calls me beautiful and plays his guqin for me and even plays an accompaniment when I sing!

......Oh god. Oh heavens! I really am courting him!!! How could I not notice???!!!! Ahhhh!!!!

.......................

The nature of Wei Ying’s gifts and music changed, Lan Wangji noted absently. 

When Lan Wangji first met Wei Ying, he was unsure of what to think but was quickly captivated by his smile and intelligence. It made Lan Wangji reluctant to return to the palace. Or maybe even bring Wei Ying with him.

He shook that thought away quickly. He couldn’t just take Wei Ying away from his family!

Back to the point, Lan Wangji noticed the shy looks Wei Ying shot him from time to time and how his songs gained a sort of.....longing tone. The gifts too......they were pearl bracelets and hairpins that had to be made from Wei Ying’s tears. Lan Wangji may be shy but he was not oblivious to what it meant to receive a jiaoren’s personally made songs and pearls. 

Perhaps.....Wei Ying might share his feelings after all?

That thought made his heart beat faster. If he remembered correctly, jiaoren court through songs. And Lan Wangji had the perfect one in mind.

.....................

Lan Zhan had to leave today. He had to leave!!

Wei Wuxian wanted to cry, somehow. He hadn’t finished courting Lan Zhan! 

Fortunately, Lan Zhan seemed reluctant to leave too. “I can ask my brother to send me here soon.”

“Really? Really, Lan Zhan?”

“Mn.”

Wei Wuxian’s tail propelled him out of the water and forward so that he could wrap Lan Zhan into a hug. “I knew you liked me! Oh! Uh-- I mean--!”

Lan Zhan’s arms came around him. “Mn. Like Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian squealed happily. Lan Zhan liked him back!! He pulled back to give Lan Zhan a bright smile which, surprisingly, was returned!!

Wei Wuxian’s tail swished happily, “Keep smiling, Lan-er-gege! It’s really pretty!!”

Lan Zhan huffed out a laugh and Wei Wuxian grinned. 

.

.

“Wei Ying, there is something I must tell you.”

“Hm? What is it?”

Lan Zhan hesitated and Wei Wuxian sat up, sensing it was serious. 

“What is it?”

“Wei Ying, I have not been entirely honest with you. My name is Lan Zhan....... courtesy name: Wangji.”

Wei Wuxian took a moment to let that sink in. Where had he heard that courtesy name before?

“Hey, Mom.” Wei Wuxian asked as they crossed the border between Lanling and Gusu. “The Gusu royals. Are they good people?”

His mother nodded. “I was acquainted with the current king’s uncle until we had a.....” She winces. “A fight. They are good people, regardless of our past differences. The current king, Lan Xichen, and his little brother, Lan Wangji, have implemented a law that ensures the safety of creatures like us.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” 

“You’re the second prince?!” Wei Wuxian gasped, dramatically flopping into the water. The prince?! He was courting the actual prince of Gusu???!!!

“Mn.” Lan Zhan confirmed as soon as he surfaced, shoulders tense.

“Well, shit. I didn’t know, but it’s not like you’re going to punish me for my rather shameless behavior, right? I know humans have different customs for courting.”

“Mn.”

“Okay! Now that that’s out of the way, Lan Zhan - I can still call you Lan Zhan, right?” Lan Zhan nodded. “Then, Lan Zhan, now that I know you’re the prince, I know you must have a lot of business and I can’t push you to come here often. But do try to visit, okay? I’ll miss you a lot!”

“Mn. Will miss Wei Ying too.”

__________________________

Then, a few years down the line, the two of them get together because this is a happy universe and they know how to communicate!

[wizkiddx]

ohmyword if your doing req can u pls do another fluffy, domestic one bcos honeymoon morning is some i read daily AHAH maybe like the reader gets ill and toms away or something???? pls just anything fluffy

awh thank you for being so sweet abt honeymoon morning - I do think that's one of my favourite concepts ive done!! and I hope this suits what you want, im not so sure myself but I tried :)))

summary: you try to hide being ill from Tom before he leaves but inevitably it doesn't all go to plan

warnings: mentions of being sick, I think that's all - basically just fluff 

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

The night hadn’t really gone typically at all. Instead of relishing the last night with Tom for a few months, your body seemed to have different plans. Hence why now you were curled up in a ball on the sofa, staring blankly at the TV, while the washing machine whirred next-door in the utility room and the chemical smell of cleaning products enveloped the downstairs. At least when you were sick, you were a clean sick. 

You were also a quiet sick. You had been pulled from your sleep by the uncomfortable heavy sensation from your stomach barely an hour after you’d both headed to bed. Why was beyond you - what had been important in that moment was to get away from Tom. He was flying back to set tomorrow (or given the early hours currently, lunchtime today was more appropriate) and only had a single day to settle before launching back into filming. So the poor boy was inevitably, given time zones, going to be running on poor quality plane sleep for the next couple of days - you wanted to five him a final night of peace, at least. 

As a result, you’d crept downstairs and since then spent a large chunk of the night making good friends with the downstairs toilet bowl. Once you were absolutely certain there was literally nothing else in your stomach, you chucked some bleach down the loo; then stripped your *stained* pyjamas and chucked them in the washing machine; changed into some freshly washed stuff in the utility (comprising of joggers and one of Tom’s hoodies); before you could curl up in the corner of the sofa. 

And that’s how you’d been for an hour or so. Still feeling grim, unable to fall asleep as much as you were trying to and generally just lying in a ball of self pity. And that was fine… until you heard the unmistakable slow padding of footsteps down the stairs. 

“Love?… -hy’re you up?” His voice was drenched in sleep, making it pull on your heart strings, even before he had rounded the sofa and come into view. Dressed only in his heather grey joggers only, Tom’s curls sat ontop of his head wildly - sticking up at all ridiculous angles. And then there was his puffy eyes, barely open as he slowly processed the sight of you curled up on the sofa. 

“Just couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to keep you up tossing and turning. Why are you up bub?”

“Don’t sleep good without you… you know kicking me and stealing the duvet and stuff.” Never one to maintain a level of seriousness and ‘soppiness’ - it was instantly turned back to the typical relationship of the two of you. While rolling your eyes, you still chuckled at him in the low light of the TV. Tom took the opportunity to perch on the edge of the sofa, sitting so he was grinning loopily down at you. “You fancied putting a wash on too?” 

“...I don’t know just trying to be productive?” He was catching on, he was suspicious. You could tell. His eyebrows furrowed together and he delicately hovered the back of his hand over your forehead, feeling the undeniable heat radiate into his skin. 

“And bleach?”

“Toilet needed doing anyway.” You mumbled, head turning to stare back at the TV- knowing his eyes were piercing into your soul. He sighed, in your peripheries you could see him shaking his head in slight frustration, as his hand reached for yours, giving it a squeeze. 

“You’re ill aren’t you?”

“I’m alright-“ he cut you off with a low warning of your name, making you cower slightly because he’d caught you in a lie. “I threw up a couple times but now I just feel a bit ‘eugh’”. That was, to be fair, a completely truthful description of your evening and current situation. Maybe not put most eloquently but Tom definitely got the messsage, somehow reading your mind by lightly massaging your abdomen with his hand that wasn’t clasped with yours. 

“Come on... let’s get you back to bed.” As much as you wanted to argue with him, it was clear any attempt would be futile. One of things you love so much about Tom is how fiercely protective he is of those dear to him. His circles progressively shrunk as he learnt who he could trust and who ... well he couldn’t. The culling had left a handful of people who were almost central to Tom’s life - somehow you’d managed to wangle your way into these select few too. 

So no, there was not point arguing or suggesting he puts his own welfare first. 

After putting you back int the double bed, Tom had disappeared for 10 minutes or so, when he reinterred the room it was clear he’d been busy. His tongue was stuck out in focus as he tried to balance different mugs and plates on a tray to you. Even if you felt shitty, for a moment by just seeing how far this guy had gone for you - you’d never felt better. 

“Okay there’s some lemsip with honey to settle your stomach, water and a slice of toast just because you should probably see if you can keep something down.”

“You really are the sweetest.”

“And you’re the illest so get drinking love.” He laughed softly in the yellow glow of the bedside lamps that illuminated the room. It highlighted his prominent jaw line and the way his eyes crinkled in the corners and given your slightly off state, you might’ve spent a bit too long ogling at the man cosied up next to you. Never would there be a time you weren’t grateful for him. 

Turns out you couldn’t keep the toast down but the experience was somewhat less horrific - this time you were spilling your guts out into your ensuite, while Tom held your hair and rubbed your back. Eventually things settled, allowing The two of you nestle back into bed, Tom wrapping his arms round your stomach to lightly trace random patterns on the skin underneath your hoodie - as you nestled back into his chest more. 

“I really love you Tom”

“Love you darling, now get some rest and shout if you need anything.” You hummed lightly, almost letting go to sleep now your felt a bit less like your intenpstines were wringing themselves together. But not quite. 

“I’m gonna miss you and your stupid face.”

“We can talk about that when your better” It was as if Tom thought whispering and drawing circles on your stomach was going to deafen you to his words. Yes your stomach wasn’t having a lot of fun and you were tired - but you were not deaf. It was oh so predictable too, he loved to be absolutely ridiculous. Indignantly you huffed, rolling over and eyeing him intently. 

“What’s there to talk about?” 

“Just…. Just if your sick you shouldn’t be on your own. I could always just-“

“No no you couldn’t. You and me both know for a fact you do have a choice and even if you did it be pissing off a hell of a lot of people.” He pouted, you could tell even in the darkness of the night. 

“I hate having to leave you though, especially like this.”

“Yes but you love your work too. I’ll be here when you get back… maybe just with a bit less intestines.” Laughing at that, Tom pulled you onto his chest, pressing his tips to the crown of your head as your burrowed into his side. 

It can’t have taken more than 5 seconds for you to fall asleep, exhausted from the illness, the stupid time in the morning and maybe slightly for dealing with Toms idiocy.  

You were awoken in the morning to Tom stroking your hair gently, all dressed and ready for his flight - but still finding the time to fuss over you and wanting to say a proper goodbye. After practically ordering his to leave… you best believe he dropped in the fact he’d got both Sam and Harry to come round as your babysitter. 

He was an idiot. But he was your kind, caring , beautiful and loving idiot.