#but ik that my experiences are not universal

[bookshopsbizarreblog]

I don't normally care to get involved in Tumblr discourse, but ik you prev so I'll share my thoughts <3. The first set is more in relation to your comment than the root post, but it's your comment that got me thinking.

While your argument makes some sense on paper, and the fundamental core of it is trying to affirm folks trans identities (always a good thing), it still rings a bit.... not necessarily gender essentialist, since that has connotations™, but rigid in terms of what gender means. There is no universal set of features, internal, external, experiential, or socially mandated, that encompass what it means to be any given gender. I'm sure this is something we agree on, barring possible quibbles about how self identification functions. If someone says they're a certain gender (or not, for that matter), you believe them. How they identify is in their hands.

But identifying one way now doesn't necessarily mean that all of their past experiences align with them as their present gender going through that. For some people, I'm sure it does. There is a whole lot of utility in recontextualizing one's past in that way, in, as you put it, declaring that they "[were] not experiencing it as women, they[ were] experiencing it as men who are being treated as women." Or whatever other gender is relevant for the given situation. But it's not necessarily universally true. Case in point, genderfluid people. Someone feeling nonbinary one day and like a man the next doesn't mean that their experiences within the self-identification of nonbinary are all retroactively male experiences. Again, I'm sure that's preaching to the choir here.

For binary trans folks, I can't imagine not applying a similar principle. If someone believed and was treated as though they were a specific gender growing up, and later discovered otherwise, how they choose to relate to and understand their past is their call. The root truth is that gender and identification is a complicated mess, and we are all constantly shifting in our relationships to society and ourselves. Even cis people can experience dysphoria and disconnect from their preferred gender. There's no one unified story for what it means to be any given person. We get to make those ourselves. It'd be completely valid for a trans man to look back at when he thought he was a girl, along with everything that came with it, and pick out the early signs that would lead to them deciding that being a girl didn't suit them without invalidating their previous experience with that gender. We don't have to understand ourselves as always having been one way or the other, even within a binary identification. We can, if it serves us. But it's an individual's decision.

Anywho, that's just my rambling thoughts on what you said. TL; DR - I agree overall with you but think there's room for individual nuance and different self-concepts.

Now to actually address the disconnect I see between you and OP lol

I don't feel like your two claims are contradictory, and the linking factor is empathy. Let's set aside everything else I said, just work with a spherical trans man in a frictionless vacuum someone who has always known they were a man in the wrong body, with all the frustrations and dysphoria that entails. As OP said, they will not have always passed, and will thus have first hand experience of how society treats women.

Now, does this make them a woman? Obviously not. Does this mean they experience it identically to how women do? Again, no (though I'd also argue against any one universal experience with sexism and harassment). But they can still get it. They can still understand how it feels to go through all that due to society's perceptions of women. And I think that's closer to the point OP is making. They're not arguing that being on the receiving end of misogyny makes trans men women.

They're just saying "we experience it too. We understand how painful it can be. Don't discount our pain, or our knowledge of it, just because we're men. You're ignoring a very real struggle many of us have gone through, and that also hurts."

At least that's my reading, prev. Feel free to disagree, and I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'm sure I've missed some things and have points people might quibble or clarify. Learning is a constant process and I'd appreciate feedback!

i think im going to lose my fucking mind actually.

this little make believe game that yall are playing where ur all pretending that we have always been passing as cis men is honestly just really sickening to read. as if trans men have never been sexually harassed or abused because society perceives us as women. im genuinely of the opinion that u all just do not believe trans men face misogyny and thats so unbelievably fucked up and just not based in reality. its actually disgusting and vile.

[bookshelfdreams]

@hylianengineer sorry I had to make a new post, the answer got too long for replies :D

Ah, the dreaded "but wool is itchy!". Not something I can relate to (I really like it when yarn/fabric has a bit of grip and structure to it, I'm not one for the ultra-soft, fluffy wools) but let's see if I can say smth useful.

First, you're definitely not alone in finding wool scratchy! A lot of people have sensory issues regarding it. Whether it can be helped at all will depend on how sensitive you are; some people can't even handle unspun 17 mic chubut merino and at that point, wool just isn't for them. Which is fine, not everything is for everyone.

Rule of thumb: the higher quality your fibre, the softer the finished garment will be. If it's just listed as "wool", it might contain recycled fibre, wool from sheep breeds that don't have a super fine fleece, or even wool from dead animals, all of which lowers the quality.

Virgin wool (I think) refers to wool that is spun for the first time, so a yarn that has no recycled fibres in it. Lambswool is a sheep's first wool. It is finer and smoother than adult wool.

Another big impact is breed of sheep and origin of the fibre. Merinos are the go-to for high quality items, but are also kept all over the world, so look to where your wool comes from. Aotearoa and South America are well known for their high quality merino wools. Sheep that live in colder, harsher climates produce a sturdy, tougher fleece, especially if they're not merino breeds. Depending on where you are, regional wool might not be what you're looking for. Britain is famous for their wool, but Shetland wool won't be super soft. Try some BFL (Bluefaced Leicester) if you can get it; it is smoother than merino and not as springy.

Wool can be superwash treated by coating the individual fibres, so the scales on the hairs are covered. This means it won't felt and can be machine washed; it also makes it less scratchy. This process is very energy- and water-intensive. The fibres are coated in silicone, I think, which makes the finished yarn feel kinda plastic-y, and it also lowers the insulating and water-repelling qualities of the wool. (All in all, you might as well buy acrylic)

You can also try looking for sheep's wool mixed with other animal fibres. Cashmere, alpaca, and mohair are probably the most common and all have their own qualities (cashmere is shiny and drapey; alpaca is smooth and kind of dense; mohair is light, extremely fluffy and super warm). All are softer than sheep's wool and nicer to the skin.

Anyway, all that to say: Look for virgin wool, look at the breed you're getting if it's specified, look for mixes with softer fibres, look at the origin of the wool. Unfortunately, when you're sensitive, navigating the world of natural fibres can be a bit of a minefield, I know. If wool isn't for you, that's not a moral failing!

[shuffleoflove]

"heartstopper is unrealistic they're all too nice to each other" have you ever heard of having friends

[bueris]

okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

[ducktollers]

got a sortof interview for a research assistant job tomorrow and sooooooooo scareds :D

[vaporgrove]

as someone who is primarily insane about my own comic ocs more than any other set of characters Ever it is. odd to think to myself "ugh im tired of working on this comic batch. im so excited to finish so i can reward myself by drawing these characters again but not in comic form."

[stuckinapril]

i had never heard of dunya mikhail before so i googled her just now :0 adding to my to-read list as we speak!!!

Omg thank you baby <3 <3 I just learned of her myself in my indefatigable quest to familiarize myself w more Iraqi lit! And let me tell you the things she writes about make an Iraqi American bitch weep on sight

[girlevanbuckley]

nothing like the pain of introducing someone to your niche show so you can talk about it with them and have a silly good time only for them to tell other people about it…bitch keep 911 on the DL eddie diaz needs to be gatekeeped!!!!!

[gentlefangz]

i thuink i migh t be a bub fictokin

[th3wizardoz]

Nothing like researching for hours only to realize that the super cool papers you were reading aren’t useful bc their methods aren’t feasible for your study 🥲

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

billy and max were not californian enough in my humble socal opinion. like i’m not saying all californians have had my exact experience. but. come on.

where was the bitching about the cold weather and the lack of good mexican and chinese restaurants nearby. never have i met a californian that wasn’t ready to throw down for in n out when out of state ppl try to talk shit, even if it isn’t remotely their favorite burger place. i just know max would go crazy over the fuck all to do in town within a month or two. the largest city is probably hours away, cue billy quickly realizing the only entertainment at hand is shitty high school parties.

you’re telling me max wouldn’t throw a fit about the lack of giant skateparks? that billy wouldn’t take every opportunity to bitch and moan about having to get chains for his tires and the menace of ice and snow on the roads fucking up his car? billy refuses to button his fuckin shirt in november, he’s going to die as soon as the temperature dips below 35F. i know not every person from socal is as much of a bitch as i am about low temperatures but most of us are not built for temperatures below like 40 or 30F. actual snow is going to happen and max is going to eat shit trying to skateboard through it. i had to defrost my car for the first time during a cold snap last month and i thought i was losing my mind, billy is going to fucking hate what cold temperatures can do to your car, especially if you park it outside on the regular.

white bitches love mexican food, have you seen how they get about chipotle? one day billy and max are gonna be home alone and go ‘we should get mexican takeout tonight’ and suddenly realize they live in the fuckin heartland now, the chances of finding a good (let alone decent) taco place nearby depend entirely of the percentage of mexican immigrants settling in bumfuck indiana to actually open a place. or at least somebody from texas.

i desperately need max and billy throwing down for in n out. i don’t care about your opinion on it, your average bitch from california will not stand for actual slander against it. lucas tries taking max to the local diner and puts his foot in his mouth (”it can’t be that good, max”) after trying to insist that the burgers in hawkins are leagues better than whatever they had back in california. steve and billy nearly brawl again because billy fuckin loves the skinny crispy in n out fries and dares to put them above mcdonald’s fries and steve thinks he’s fucking crazy.

depending on where they lived in california, the lack of mountains would probably be something weird to get used to. travelling past the mountains and through flat land makes the monkey in my brain go ‘where big rocks go??? why so exposed??? too flat!!’ and i can’t help but think of max constantly doing double takes at the sheer amount forest around hawkins and the distinct lack of mountains nearby lol. california is huge and there’s loads of different biomes within it, but you’re not gonna find very many forests, especially in the areas billy and max probably lived in (i think in runaway max they lived in san diego? but that’s shaky half-canon at this point).

give me the weird slang differences between the midwest and the west coast. i had a teacher from wisconsin call water fountains ‘bubblers’ once and i swear it gave me whiplash. i love regional slang. idk if it depends on the person’s age or region or if its interchangeable in some places, but the face i’m picturing billy making after hearing somebody call it ‘pop’ instead of ‘soda’ is priceless. there’s also no fucking way billy hung out with californian surfers in the 70s - 80s and didn’t pick up some truly atrocious slang that pops up now and then. max thinks he sounds fucking dumb, but then billy makes fun of the fact that she can’t roll her ‘r’s and it starts another bitch fight. more of max and billy both saying ‘like’ way too much as a sentence filler and everyone else making fun of them.

i don’t know, i want more fun and interesting and annoying little things that people from different states do. billy and max moved across the whole damn country, i want more conflict from that than just the obvious issues.

[hella1975]

im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia

[kendallroygf]

im literally the most kendall roy coded girl in the world im the biggest girlloser in existence . aimi wins and loses . Literally

[neofelis----nebulosa]

against my better i ended up seeing some of the clips people are posting from kfp 4 and i actually really like it

[yappacadaver]

idk why everyone's so hot for gortash like. it's true i haven't encountered him in game yet but come on. he looks like every single mid-life crisis having japanese man who deals with it by buying the shittiest wig possible and dressing like a 15 year old girl's boyband mag

[theuselesspallbearer]

fuck emily in paris. i want hershel layton in ohio