#but if other people choose to (whether it be with friends or romantic partners/interests) let them have a good time

[frogsare-friends]

shoutout to all my aros and arospecs not celebrating valentine's day!! and shoutout to all my aros and arospecs celebrating valentine's day!! and shoutout to all the aspecs that aren't celebrating valentine's day!! and all the aspecs that are!!

[riding-the-sunset-bird]

I was in a Baxter mood today so I went swimming in GB Patch's blog for all the Baxter facts:

General

His personality, at least defined by GB Patch, is that he's sheltered and out-of-touch without being elitist or self-centered. He's preppy/posh, quite sociable, and hates conflict, but likes to go against what's expected of him. He grows out of being such a rich kid trust fund baby by Step 4.

His parents are bigots. He's the unlucky one in a sea of characters with supportive parents.

He has a distant French origin.

His birthday is the day his DLC came out, meaning May 19th.

He's 5'11" (180cm) in Step 4 (this was apparently reconfirmed on the Our Life Discord as well).

His natural hair color - a dark dusty gray that he hates - is uncommon to be born with (as opposed to aged into) in the Our Life universe.

He's right-handed.

Childhood

His dream job as a child was to get into investments, having a strong portfolio with diverse assets (he does not fully know what that means at the time).

He's a late bloomer.

Baxter's crush on Qiu from Our Life 2 is at its peak when he's 12 and 13 (13 being his age in Our Life 2's Step 1), but he's moving on by 14 (when he can potentially meet the MC in Soiree).

He met Qiu at their local dance hall (as they both took lessons there, just in different forms of dance) and also met Ren/Renee (Darren in Our Life 2's Step 1) through Qiu, as the two had known each other since they were very young.

He wasn't thrown off by his crush on Qiu despite Qiu being a boy, as Qiu was popular and it seemed "unfair" to Baxter not to be able to like him. He puts more thought into it as he grows older and what it means, deciding that he'll feel however he'll feel and not worry about what's expected of him. In Soiree, the MC can notice this if they're male or non-binary, as Baxter isn't bothered by dancing with someone who isn't female.

Abilities (or Lack Thereof)

He's a weak swimmer. He can swim fine in pools but would probably struggle in the ocean.

He can sing.

He's experienced in multiple types of dance (though his favorite is the waltz).

Step 3 Baxter is a lazy, bad cook who doesn't even want to bother with cooking, but Step 4 Baxter takes an interest in trying more fancy/restaurant-style food and is able to do so.

Likes/Dislikes

He likes things being clean, but isn't always motivated enough to maintain that.

He liked video games when he was a kid, leaning towards action/adventure ones, though doesn't anymore in his late teens and beyond. He would play life-based games (such as the Sims series) with the MC if asked, however, either playing innocent like he didn't know what he was doing while messing around with the characters or being blatantly obvious about it.

He doesn't like dancing in clubs/discos. He would try it once because he enjoys trying different types of dance, but would only go regularly if he had a friend/partner who liked going to such places.

He would absolutely approve of an MC who chooses to only wear black and white.

Romantic Inclinations

Beyond his crush on Qiu (who he never confessed to), Baxter dates people, but never for long or seriously.

The reason he backs out of asking out the MC if they say that he's their first crush (unless the MC is referring to his Soiree self) is that he feels they have idealized feelings for him and he'd disappoint them. He essentially panics, not wanting to get the MC's hopes up and especially on their very first feelings of romance.

The best way to romance him is to Not Let Him Escape.

In terms of how Baxter will/won't date in the future between Step 3 and 4 if he had a fling with the MC, answers range from him not dating anyone if the player intent was that they were both genuinely in love, but would otherwise to him trying to move on with others but the flings become even more surface level than before to the point where he's simply going through the motions. He ultimately hits a breaking point (whether he dated the MC or not) and ends up improving due to the MC's return in his life and/or support from other people such as Xavier.

When it comes to what he's attracted to in another person, he likes seeing nail polish, false lashes/heavy mascara/naturally long eyelashes, and full suits (especially if they're expertly tailored).

His love language in terms of receiving is Quality Time, but in terms of giving, he will happily adapt to whatever the MC wants.

Clothing Choices

When it comes to Step 4 Baxter's personal dress code, he's always meeting/formal ready (even when not working) unless he's doing anything athletic, in which case the button-downs get a break.

- Likewise, his closet is basically all button-downs and fancy suits with a few exceptions including clothes suited for the cold.

Assorted

Him skinny-dipping didn't happen in Golden Grove, and the Now & Forever main cast are not his friends by then.

He immediately finds the MC and Cove appealing (not necessarily crushing on them) at the start of Step 3 as "beautiful beach strangers."

He'd be flattered to hear from an MC that they love his laugh/find it charming.

He says "hallelujah" because he's pretentious.

He doesn't know French, but does occasionally drop a French word he knows during Step 3 to "add to his formal flair." His Step 4 self considers it embarrassing in hindsight.

While he started dyeing his hair black at 14, he didn't start adding white into the mix until he was 18. His Step 3 hair was likely something he only had for a year, at which point he changed it up with different attempts at black and white. He switched back to plain black after graduating college, feeling like he had to be "a serious grown up."

During the wedding in Baxter's Step 4, he will have Jude send along a vegan cupcake to the MC if they're vegan.

Semi-revealed during one of his mornings with the MC in Step 4, he has a multi-step daily skincare routine.

His Future

He has no preference over who he'd prefer to be the one to propose to the other in his relationship with the MC.

He would absolutely want to plan his own wedding (whether for or with the MC, depending on whether they want to be involved). He would not want another planner included.

He would forbid his parents from attending his wedding, but invite his childhood friends. Cove, Terry, and Miranda would also go.

He doesn't have a preference when it comes to last names during a wedding. He's just in awe that he's marrying someone at all.

He might consider having facial hair at some point in his life.

When it comes to having kids, he doesn't have any particular age he'd prefer to have them and is more of a "when it feels right" kind of guy. In terms of the number of kids, none is his default but he'd prefer to have two if the MC wants them, as he finds the relationship between the MC and Liz to be lovely and was personally lonely as an only child.

🍋 (below are asks that might be considered risqué - especially going to the posts themselves on some - but I wanted to include them for the sake of having all the information in one place; know that me and my prudish nature pushed through this for the people who want it and I hope you appreciate it! >:o) 🍋

This one definitely goes without saying due to being a love interest in a game where the MC can be she/they/he even down to being intersex, but Baxter is pansexual.

Baxter isn't good at being sexually active beyond being with an MC who wants that. He tries to bond with others but either fails to have his interest reciprocated due to being too forward or backtracks if he senses that someone is actually into him. His relationships are short/inconsistent for that reason.

He would never sleep with the MC during Step 3. He's already planning on leaving and wouldn't risk souring the relationship at any point even if the MC would want it. He wants company more than he wants sex and would not want to be remembered as the guy who slept with the MC and then just left without contacting them again.

Between chests and backsides, Baxter prefers the latter.

Baxter is a top (though is flexible on the matter), is into BDSM, and "kind of" has a sir kink.

[backstage-if]

I have been wanting to send you this ask especially with the fact we have a whole ex in the game but I keep forgetting.

So here goes. Please take your time with it but omg I'll love if you answer it.

Hello!! Okay so what would the ROs reaction be to MC being asked out in front of them..? (crushing stage vs. relationship stage)

Oooh, I love this question 🤌🤌 ok, soooo-

C

Crushing - Excusing themself to feel annoyed (both at themself, at MC and at the third person) alone, but acting like everything is fine (actually, everyone notices they're jealous). Especially if they're exes, it's weird for C to see MC flirting/being romantic with someone else – still, they’d rather try and suffer in silence than give MC a reason to think they care that much.

Relationship - Openly annoyed (at the other person) and not bothering trying to hide it. Let MC choose how they'd rather deal with this, but stay the whole time by their side and look at the person like "😐 seriously? Are you kidding me? How do you flirt with someone without even knowing if they're taken?".

Neil

Crushing - Watching the scene unfold. Neil gets it, honestly. He knows MC is interesting and understands why people would be drawn to them (like he is). Still, no matter if MC agrees or not to go out, Neil would force himself to stop ignoring his (obvious) feelings and finally think about whether he wants this to be something more.

Relationship - Neil had ex-partners flirting with other people just to try and get a reaction out of him before, so… yeah. He would freeze in place and brace himself for the same outcome, expecting MC to engage with it. When they don't, he feels bad for thinking they would and maybe (unconsciously) distances himself for the rest of the day thinking of how to make it up for them.

Joy

Crushing (as fwb or friends only) - Teases MC for having so many admirers and, if MC rejects the person, also for breaking hearts. Deep down, she is a bit jealous (and, like with C, some people can tell), but doesn't feel entitled to tell MC how to live their life.

Relationship - When they're official, Joy doesn't feel like she has a reason to be jealous anymore, as MC already chose to commit to her. Would still have a humorous approach to it, either telling MC what a catch they are and/or asking the other person where they (Joy, MC and them) are going for the date.

Spencer

Crushing - At first, they're impressed at how bold the person is for asking MC out so confidently without knowing what their answer will be. They would leave before hearing the answer and be jealous later, trying to decide whether to ask MC about the date or pretend they don't even remember it happened (it's all they've been thinking about all day).

Relationship - Comparing themself to the person ­🤠 convinced that MC deserves better than them 🤠 probably feeling weird and distant for the rest of the week (at least early in the relationship).

A

Crushing - Changing the subject or dragging MC out of there before they can answer, saying it's because 'you didn't want to see their disappointed face when you said no'. If they're already on the friendly side of things, A would also find any activity that they could do together without calling it a date.

Relationship - Staying beside MC, looking very smug, like 'You tell them, baby ­☝️'. If they're feeling particularly flirty/playful that day, A would be like ‘Oh, they were cute and so into you. Your partner must be really amazing. 😏'.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

The Dialogue That Sent A Ship Reeling And What It Might Mean for the Overall Story Arc

***Possible spoilers for future episodes****

@bookqueenrules:

So, I read a ton of reviews of season 1 before episode 1 aired. Many of the reviews were from “Carlyers”. I am always interested in seeing their perspective.  

They all seemed to agree on a few things.

First and foremost, they HATED Daryl’s response to Laurent in this exchange from episode 1:

 L: “Do you have children, a wife, parents?”

D: “No, nothing like that.”

I believe this exchange at the beginning of the episode speaks VOLUMES about Daryl’s “happy ending”.  We see him think of Judith and Carol, the people he is closest to at home, as he is regaining consciousness.  However, soon after that he does not acknowledge Judith as “his child” nor does he acknowledge Carol as a type of “wife” or “life partner”. 

This tells us that in Daryl and the writer’s minds Daryl has never been a father nor husband/life partner to anyone, yet. 

Being able to be a good husband and father after the abuse and trauma Daryl has experienced, I believe, will be his happy ending. 

Another thing they seem to hate is that by the end of the series, Daryl is torn as to whether he should stay with Laurent and Isabelle or keep trying to go home.  I assume that happens in episode 6 because a DEVOTED Carlyer said that was the hardest episode for her to watch.  Daryl being torn is more understandable when you see the parallels in Daryl’s mind: Isabelle is a platonic friend he becomes close to(Carol), and Laurent is a child that is not his, but that he feels responsible for because the parents are not around (Judith). Now, of course, we all know he will and should choose TF, but just the fact that he is torn should let the viewer know that Daryl still feels he is missing “something”.  Back to that in a minute.  I think it’s helpful to look at all of Daryl’s close relationships during the flagship to see why Daryl is still looking for “something”. That “something” is to belong to someone.

Merle- Daryl did at one time “belong” to Merle. It was just the two of them.  Neither had other close family nor significant romantic partners or friends.  It was a dysfunctional type of belonging, but a “belonging” none the less.  Daryl believed he belonged with Merle.  In season 3, Daryl was torn between his new family(TF) and Merle. He did leave with Merle, but would have returned to TF even if he hadn’t convinced Merle to go back to the prison with him. So, he chose TF over Merle in the end. 

Beth- Beth is the ONLY character that Daryl asks to settle down with him.  HE asks HER to stay at the funeral home and try to make a life.  He gives up looking for Rick, Carol, and the rest of TF. He feels he now BELONGS to Beth. This is an example of functional “belonging” because she restores his faith in himself and in the possibility of good in the world.  This is further emphasized in the “Buttons” episode where Daryl and Aaron are trying to save Buttons the horse.  Oh! Buttons the horse, Daryl’s highlighted button in the promo pictures, and the button on Beth’s necklace… Sorry, I just made that connection as I type!  Major symbolism there. I digress. In that episode, Daryl says of Buttons, “He once belonged to someone, but now he just belongs to himself.”  The implication being that the statement is true of both the horse and Daryl. 

Rick- Rick becomes the better brother Merle never was. However, he can never really belong to Rick in the same way he did Merle because Rick has a family of his own and didn’t live through the same childhood trauma Merle and Daryl did. 

Leah- Daryl is torn between belonging with her, TF, and searching for Rick.  He leaves even though she has issued an ultimatum. It’s only after she is “gone” that he says he belongs with her. I believe that indicates that Daryl really does want to belong to someone, but Leah is not the right one.  He knew it when he walked out on her.

Carol has belonged to Zeke for a long time now. Even when they drifted apart, they drifted back together.  Before him, Carol belonged to herself drifting in and out of storylines fighting her need NOT to belong to anyone. She initiated romantic connections while Daryl was free and clear to form that kind of attachment with if she chose. Zeke is the one that showed Carol she could have her “happy ending” family after the dysfunction she experienced with Ed and Sophia. Though Henry didn’t live, Carol still had six years of a “happy ending”. 

After telling Judith he wouldn’t leave her, why does Daryl leave to explore? There were many others in Alexandria and Hilltop who could have gone.  So, Daryl must have WANTED to go. Judith seems to be OK with it because she connects it to his “happy ending”. Carlyers are interpreting Daryl’s call to the Commonwealth, presumably to Carol, about coming home in a week, as Daryl realizing his “mistake” and wanting to come home to his “happy ending” being Carol and Judith. If that were the case, he would have responded differently to Laurent’s question. 

The Carlyers all LOVED the last minute of the season(We can all guess that is when Carol shows)

They also agree that some of the themes are fatherhood, purpose, and belonging. Curiously, they don’t see the “happy ending” as a theme for the most part. It’s been pretty obvious, but few of them comment on it. I am assuming that episode 5 will be heavily related to the theme of fatherhood based on some vaguely worded reviews. 

  I wanted to mention a couple of other things that I don’t believe you discussed in the video. Forgive me if I just missed them.

Isabelle’s comment in the bath about scars showing you have healed.  I believe that is heavy foreshadowing for Daryl healing his scars from childhood.

Also, I don’t believe you mentioned the radio in the “map room”. Would that be another Sirius/radio connection? I thought it was interesting that Isabelle is caught in a lie about the radio. It is clear that Isabelle is willing to lie and manipulate to get what she wants.  She reminds me of Carol in that way.  She feels the ends justify the means for the greater good. She also reminds me of Carol in the sense that Daryl, Carol, and Isabelle are all characters who were “broken before the world ended”.  It was after the world ended that Beth broke for a moment, but all of these characters have proven they are survivors. It will be interesting to see that play out if/when they all meet. 

@twdmusicboxmystery​:

Love, love, LOVE everything you said here! And totally agree! It’s fun to know what the Carylers are saying.

Honestly, I hadn’t thought much about Daryl’s reply about not having a wife and kids. And great call about the foreshadowing there. It’s clear that he’ll have them eventually, and we all know it won’t be with Carol. 

Honestly, I think the reason he’ll be so torn will be Laurent, rather than Isabelle. I was thinking as I read what you wrote is that part of the reason he was willing to leave Judith was 

1) she doesn’t truly need him anymore. She’s okay with him going, which means she a happy, healthy, well-adjusted kid. He still loves and wants to be with her, but if someone else is depending on him as a lifeline physically or emotionally, well, he’s going to stay for as long as they need him. And Judith is such a badass all by herself, that she doesn’t necessarily. 

2) It’s also true that he doesn’t see her as truly “his” and if there’s any chance her real dad (Rick, although biologically that’s a can of worms, lol) is still out there, he wants to bring Rick home to her. So, once again, it’s Daryl doing something for someone else, rather than himself. Which is why Judith says the thing about the happy ending to begin with. She recognizes that he deserves to think about his own happiness every once in awhile, rather than everyone else’s. 

Anyway, I’m actually excited to see the part where he’s torn about staying or going. It plays into Daryl’s changing his mind/what changed your mind theme, which started with Beth and has been constantly in play since S4. 

Isabelle reminds me a lot of Leah. Not in her personality or toxicity, of course. But in the sense that she’s an interesting blend of Carol and Beth. I already like her relationship with Daryl and I can see them becoming close friends. People say Clemence Posey’s performance here is really amazing. Up there with Norman’s. So I’m excited to see more of both of them.

Thanks so much for the post! Absolutely love it! 

Oh, and yes, the radio is a Sirius symbol. Because Sirius Radio XM. It’s also part of the Communication Theme. 

Thanks Dear! 

[tlbodine]

Socializing 2.0 - Talking to People Who Are Upset

I was trying to write this as a reblog to my other "how to socialize" post and it keeps glitching out, which is very irritating. So here, let's try it on its own post.

Last time I talked about some tips for making small talk, and some scripts/talking points for how to show interest in what people are saying even if the topic doesn't excite you.

Now, I want to talk about a different scenario that can be really challenging for everybody (but, I think even harder for folks who don't come by empathy easily). Which is: How do you talk to somebody who is upset or having a tough time? How do you express sympathy without making the thing about you and your feelings?

While I'm by no means an expert at this, and I can't claim I've got the solution for every scenario you might encounter, I do have some tips and techniques that have helped me along the way and hopefully they can prove useful to you, too.

STEP ONE: Identifying that a person is upset

Sometimes it's very easy to tell that someone is upset, because they will yell "ARGH I AM SO MAD ABOUT THIS!!!" or they will be crying or some other obvious outward sign. Other times, though, it can be kind of tricky to tell. It's even harder in text, where you sometimes have to guess whether someone is jokingly mad or mad-mad when they post keysmashes, all caps, angry emojis, etc etc.. Folks also sometimes deflect from their actual emotions by joking them off. Or they'll say something you feel is alarming, but then don't act like it's a big deal.

People are complicated, in other words. So it's OK if you get this wrong sometimes. Everybody does.

In general, some signs that people might have something the matter:

Obvious outward expression of emotion (yelling, crying)

Acting more withdrawn or subdued than normal

Appearing distracted or disengaged

Looking more disheveled than usual

Acting unusually rambunctious or like they're compensating

If you notice somebody seems upset but you're not 100% sure, you have a few options:

Politely ignore it.

Let them bring it up if they want to. This is a safe bet if you are not very close -- ie, they're strangers, coworkers, acquaintances etc. HOWEVER, if you choose this route, you can still do this person a kindness by not imposing on them.

For example, if your coworker seems upset about something and you have a question about the job, could you ask someone else instead of approaching upset coworker? Could you quietly do them a favor? For example, could you offer to take over for them at the register and let them work in the back? Offer to watch things while they take a break? Small kindnesses can make a big difference in someone's day. It's not always possible, but it's nice when you can!

If nothing else, try to avoid dumping anything on them while they seem upset. If you're also having a shit day, you can probably find someone else to rant to.

Ask if they're okay.

This is more appropriate if you have a rapport with the person. If they are your friend or romantic partner, or if you have a rapport with them and want to express that you care, it's probably best to acknowledge that you've noticed something is wrong. Avoid saying anything that might be perceived as aggressive; don't way "What's wrong" or (even worse) "What's wrong with you?" Instead, try, "Is everything okay? You seem a little down today."

They may respond:

I'm just a little tired

I'm kind of distracted

What? Oh, haha, no, I'm fine...

Sometimes they mean this at face value, but more often what they actually are communicating is "I'm not OK but I don't feel comfortable talking about it."

That's fine. Don't pry. Drop the subject, and proceed as above -- politely ignore their perceived signs of discomfort, but be kind to them and avoid dumping anything on them unnecessarily.

Do not be surprised or alarmed if, after some time has passed, they come back around to reopen the subject and start to open up about whatever is bothering them. Then again, don't take it personally if you never figure out what the deal was. Maybe they really did just have a headache. Maybe they had an issue they figured out on their own. Either way, it's no longer your problem.

(note: this is a little more complicated if it's someone you live with and it goes on for a while, but that scenario is out of scope for this post).

STEP TWO: They Told Me They're Upset

Okay! So whether you started here with them, or this just came up after you asked if things were ok, you now have confirmed that a person is upset!

If they tell you the gist of what's going on, it's a good idea to acknowledge it. But stay fairly neutral about it and avoid value judgments.

For example: "My grandpa died"

An appropriate response might be, "I'm sorry to hear that" or "Oh jeez, I'm sorry :("

Some other great all-purpose responses when someone says something bad happened are: "Dude, that sucks :(" and "oh no!" or "oof."

Next -- and this is really important -- you should follow up by asking, "Do you want to talk about it?"

(you can also use that question any time someone says something vague like "I had a shitty day today" or "I'm so pissed off.")

If they say no, they don't want to talk about it, follow up with, "Well, let me know if there's anything I can do." And then, ideally, volunteer a couple options of things you can do, depending on your relationship and what you are capable of doing: cover their shift, approve their time off, take care of a chore, listen if they change their mind.

If they DO want to talk about it, by all means, let them talk.

Ask if they would like advice or if they just want to get it off their chest. If they don't ask for advice, don't give them any.

Use your active listening skills and ask questions. Avoid prying or traumatic questions, but don't be shocked if you receive more intensive answers than you expected. A safe question to ask when someone says someone died is to say, "Were you close?" or if a pet died, "How long did you have them?"

Validate their emotions, but avoid bringing your own judgments to the table unless they ask for your honest opinion. For example, if someone is ranting about their romantic partner, it's cool to say, "I'm sorry that happened. You shouldn't have to put up with that." but it's not so cool to say "Your SO sounds like a dick, you should leave them."

Ask if they would like a distraction or to be cheered up. If you're in person, and you're amenable to the task, "Do you want a hug?" is also acceptable. (just respect whatever they said).

You'll want to be mindful of your energy. I personally have the best luck with projecting calm, neutral, slightly joke-y vibes. "It do be like that" and "Dude, that sucks" delivered with some genuine warmth in your tone or an empathetic emoji can go a long way.

STEP THREE: How to Not Make It About You

There are a few ways you can unintentionally make something be about you when someone else brings up something that's upsetting them:

One-upping them. "That's nothing. This one time, I had...."

Invalidating them or passing judgment. "That's not a big deal" or "What an asshole!" (you can agree with them that someone is being a dick, bit they need to be the one who says it first)

Trying to relate to them by telling a story about your own experiences, which ends up taking a really long time, or puts them in the awkward position of feeling like they have to comfort you.

OK. So a couple things.

Relating to people with relatable experiences is not a bad thing! In fact sometimes it can be really helpful! HOWEVER if you go that route you need to be really cautious of a couple points:

The story needs to be brief and stick only to the most relevant details. it's FINE if you don't provide the full absolute context of the entire scenario. You just need to tell them the relatable part, and then relate that back to them and how they are feeling.

For example:

"I'm so sorry to hear your dog died. I had to put my cat to sleep last year and I remember how guilty I felt, worrying whether I waited too long. Did you have a lot of time to prepare with your dog or was it pretty sudden?"

This is good! Here you are relaying information that you understand some of what they're going through, introduce an emotion that may or may not resonate with them, and then hand the conversation back to them with a question. Now they might tell you all about how, yes, they worried about that same thing too! Or no, their thing was really sudden and unexpected. Or whatever they tell you!

Then you can respond to that thing like, "Oh wow, I can't imagine how rough that must have been." or "Jeez, that's so hard. How are the kids taking it?" or whatever else seems appropriate in that moment.

STEP FOUR: OK But Now They Won't Shut Up About It?

One downside to expressing concern in other people's affairs is that this can sometimes mark you as their new confidant, purely because people so rarely just listen and care about other people.

If it's just the occasional bit of ranting, it's probably fine to just let them do their thing. And if they're coming to you to rant and off-load their stuff, then it's probably fine and expected that you can respond in time and maybe you guys are just ranting buddies.

But if you end up in a scenario where they can ALWAYS complain about their thing, but you can NEVER complain about your thing, that is a toxic dynamic! That requires some intervention! Friendship cannot be built on that foundation.

If you've expressed your condolences or listened to someone rant about whatever is pissing them off and you feel you have nothing more to offer the conversation, you can just say that: "I don't know what else to say, really. It's a tough situation and I hope it gets better for you."

And then you can just. Exit the conversation.

Some additional lines to keep in your back pocket include:

"I think that's beyond my pay grade to help with. Have you spoken with (a therapist/counselor/clergy member/whatever)?"

"That's so frustrating! You should definitely go talk to (the person they are complaining about) about that."

"Well, if you ever need someone to (specific thing you actually are willing to do), let me know."

Being kind to people and showing concern for their problems does not mean you have to become an unpaid therapist or doormat. You get to maintain boundaries about that stuff.

Anyway! This is super long! There is so much more I could get into here but I'll leave it at that. I hope this is in some way helpful to you.

[freneticphoneticfanatic]

My experience with nonmonogamy has cracked my brain open in a way I don’t think I could turn away from if I wanted to. You can’t promise someone you’ll love them the same way forever, as the two of you grow and change. You can’t promise you’ll never want to pursue a connection outside of the two of you. Why should you? And if you choose to pursue a new connection as “just friends,” why should that relationship have a cap on how much you allow yourselves to deepen it? I feel like when I talk about this stuff, people’s minds go immediately to sexual intimacy, because that’s what our culture is obsessed with. But seriously, why are monogamous relationships held up on this pedestal above all our other relationships? Why is your capital-P Partner supposed to be the most important person in your life? Why do so many people expect ourselves to have just one “most-important” person in our lives?

I take issue with exclusivity, jealousy, and possessiveness. If I spend the majority of my time with one person, and one or both of us decides to start spending more of our time with other people, that ought to enrich our interactions, not take away from them. If these experiences are a net negative for a relationship, take a look at the people involved, including yourself, and their actions. In my experience, shallowness, dishonesty, cruelty, and entitlement are the issues, not un-exclusivity. If you care about someone, you should give them the respect of understanding them as wholly human… that includes respecting their right to be messy and have connections with other people.

I understand the fear that comes with letting go of exclusivity, of a traditional relationship narrative. People like security. But shouldn’t that security come from trusting your partner to be kind, dependable, and trustworthy, even when they’re not “bound” to you? To me, it’s the social equivalent of training a dog with treats vs. without. I can tell my partner I don’t want them to be intimate with other people, and if we agree on that and they’re trustworthy, they won’t do it. I see the value there. But it’s far more interesting to me and builds more trust and a stronger bond to see how my partner interacts with people they’re interested in outside of our relationship. If they treat someone else like shit, or start treating me like shit after connecting with someone else, I consider that a win because that’s clarity on their character. But if they don’t, if they still show up for me and make it known that they value me AND handle other relationships well… wow. What a beautiful thing that is, that I never would have experienced if I hadn’t given them that trust.

To briefly address the sexual aspect, SO WHAT? If the sex is positive and safe, and your partner is kind, honest, and dependable, is there any harm actually done? Or is it mainly an ego blow accompanied by insecurity—fear of a perceived threat to a relationship you value? In other words, a “you” problem that you have to decide whether or not you want to deal with. (Frankly, I think either decision is morally neutral. Just don’t be an asshole, that’s the bottom line.) If you’re going to be with someone, you should trust each other to make good decisions. And because we’re human and therefore flawed, you should also be prepared to be there to support each other if something blows up in your face.

I think the reason people act so different, “not themselves,” and irrational when it comes to capital-L Love, the reason people “struggle to differentiate” between platonic and romantic love, is because most people buy into a fucked up, broken framework for human relationships that’s fake as hell and ultimately rooted in men’s exploitation of women. That’s the standard. Marriage wasn’t even culturally associated with romance until the 18th century. And I only know that because I read a lot of feminist material. It’s not exactly common knowledge, and for good reason.

I recommend checking out Lesbian Ethics by Sarah Hoagland and A Passion For Friends by Janice Raymond. They both challenge our notions of what we consider “real” and valuable relationships. Sarah Hoagland wrote about relationships in Lesbian Ethics in a way that was eye-opening for me at the time. (I need to re-read.) I encourage everyone to let yourself and your relationships be messy. Following a script is easy but often unfulfilling. Trust yourself and your loved ones to create your own structures that work for you.

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Confess

In which Anais Wildheart (half-elf!Agi) confesses her feelings to Halsin. Mostly SFW.

He’s actually joining us.

Anais Wildheart could not believe what she heard the morning after the tiefling celebration. Halsin’s joining us.

A month later, and she still could not believe it.

Halsin was a calming influence on everyone in camp whether it was him telling stories, giving advice, and offering a sympathetic ear to anyone. He also helped in camp with any task. Except cooking. Gale is like Mum in the kitchen---territorial and not wanting to be bothered.

Anais needed advice right now, but she could not go to him.

Because it’s about him. Gods, I wish Mum were here. Or my friends from home. Maybe I could talk to Karlach, but make sure she’s not too loud so no one will hear. She was taken out of her thoughts by the man himself.

“Are you alright, Annie? You seem far away.” Halsin asked gently, his arms across his chest.

Oh shit. Oh fuck. Be normal, Annie. BE. NORMAL. She fidgeted, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, me? Fine. Just thinking too much.” Thinking about how I need to tell you that I like you far more than a friend should. “I was wondering if you’d like to go somewhere to talk, erm…privately.” She offers a sheepish grin, hands on her hips.

Thankfully, he took no note of her nervousness. I hope. “Of course. With so many companions, it’s hard to find a moment or two of privacy. Please, lead the way.” He followed her to a small stream north of camp, and Anais sat on a large rock. Halsin sat and looked at her expectantly.

Here goes nothing. “It’s been really lovely to get to know you, Halsin. Truly. You’re a fine addition to our little family.” More like “very strange little family” but just “little family” will do. Smiling warmly, her brown eyes met his hazel ones. “And I was hoping that perhaps we get to know each other…other than as comrades.”

To her surprise, Halsin’s expression was one of amusement. “I would hope we already know each other as friends. Unless you meant to know each other as enemies?” He joked, chuckling softly. “I jest. I do wonder though what exactly you mean. If not as friends, then as…” His eyes widened slightly, and his lips quirked into a smile. “Lovers?”

Swallowing, Anais nodded. “Well, yes lovers but also…I suppose…romantic partners?” She could feel her cheeks burning. Why do I make things so awkward? Why am I so awkward? Why is this so awkward? Fucking hells. “Because I care for you. Very much.”

“And I care for you very much,” he rumbled, reaching for one of her hands and giving it a squeeze. “I’m three hundred fifty years old, Annie. I’ve had many lovers, but my heart has not stirred for some time.” Oh gods here it comes. Another rejection. Not beautiful enough. Not good enough. Just a friend. “It does now. For you.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

Though Anais was tall (one might say too tall), she always felt so small next to Halsin. One of my hands is completely…well, dwarfed next to his. He’s so warm… She stared at him, eyes wide. “Really?”

Halsin chuckled. “Yes, really. Is the notion that I love you truly so outlandish?”

The past decade flashed through Anais’s mind---other noble dwarven houses refusing to let their sons court her because of her heritage; her mother reaching out to elven, human, and half-elven noble houses for interest in her hand and promising a large dowry; Gregor, a human, courting her briefly and wanting to propose; and then Gregor breaking her heart, telling her no man would ever choose to be with “an ugly fat half-breed cow” like her. She blinked back a few tears. “I know you love my heart, but the rest of me…” Trailing off, Anais glanced downward. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

“Anais, you not only stir my heart,” Halsin whispered to her in elvish. She remembered mentioning to him one evening that her parents hired a tutor specifically to teach her the language of her birth father’s people. “You also stir my loins. Nature outdid itself when it created you, my love.”

A broken sob escaped her as she touched his face and slowly kissed him. It’s not like when I kissed Astarion. There wasn’t any feeling behind it…from either of us. This…oh gods, I feel like I’m going to burn up. The kiss got heated quickly with Halsin’s hands now gripping her hips while her arms went around his neck. Anais was left gasping when the kiss broke. “Gods, I…I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.”

“How long, dear one?” He murmured against her lips. “Because for me, when I saw you in those worg pens taking care of those goblins, how I wished to take you.”

OH?!??! “I, well…if I’m being honest, seeing you going out of wildshape after we did in the goblins.” A pink blush painted her cheeks. “You know, it’s funny…Rath said you turned into a bear. ‘You won’t mistake the First Druid for anyone.’ One look at the bear, and I knew it was you we were looking for.” She giggled, caressing his cheek.

“Friend of nature.” Kiss. “Lunatic.” Kiss.

Smiling wryly, Anais kissed him before speaking. “Or perhaps a secret third thing.”

“Heh. What’s that, my heart?”

Her nose touching his, she grinned. “I just fucking knew, love.”

Suddenly, they heard a rustling of leaves along with muffled voices. Wyll and Karlach. Probably worried about us. Oh dear.

Halsin gave her a quick kiss before standing and offering his hand. “Later, my love, come and find me. I would know how you taste this night.”

Nodding, Anais took his hand and stood. “Only taste?” She teased.

He kissed her soundly and to her pleasant surprise, he grabbed a generous handful of her behind. “I’ll not leave you wanting. It will take everything I have to not devour you, my heart.” He said in almost a growl, his hazel eyes twinkling. “Unless that is what you want, of course.”

Swallowing, she nodded quickly. “O-oh yes, that sounds amazing. Definitely want that.” YES PLEASE.

He smiled warmly at her, giving her behind one more squeeze. “Later then, dearest one.” Taking his hand off her, he waved to Wyll and Karlach. “Hello friends!”

“So, when’s the hot date, soldier?” Karlach said, elbowing Anais in the side. “Gale is the only one who thinks it’s when we get out of this place and hit a town. And you see, me and Astarion think it’ll be tonight because…” She gestured at Halsin with one hand and wrapped her other arm around Anais’s shoulders. “If you two don’t do something, then Annie here is going to die of overwhelming sexual tension.”

Die of embarrassment, more accurately.

“Come now, let’s return to camp and get things going. After all, we still have much to do.” Halsin chucked and then met Anais’s gaze.

He’s making sure I’m alright. He’s so sweet. A giant sweet bear elf man. She nodded and offered a soft smile. Her parasite connected with Karlach’s.

SERIOUSLY?!?!?

Annie, I’m not wrong!

BUT DID YOU HAVE TO SAY IT?!?!?

Okay, but the face you made was hilarious.

KARLACH!!

What?! I honestly didn’t mean to embarrass you, but good gods, you’ve been longing AND lusting after him since he joined camp.

There was a pause.

Right?

I mean, technically yes sort of…

Oh, I fucking knew you got the hots for him as the bear.

KARLACH!!!!!!!!!!!

[blakeswritingimagines]

Halloween party

Iron Man: Well, for one thing, he knows you are likely to dress up in something that's a lot more revealing than what you're used to. He might also notice you're more flirtatious than usual because of the setting and the mood of the night. It's a good opportunity to let loose, have some fun, and enjoy each other's company in a relaxed environment. If he's lucky, he might even end up with your costume on the floor.

Spider-Man: Well, it’s usually a blast. There are tons of spooky decorations and people in scary costumes. You'll go together, so you always get to enjoy each other’s company. There are usually lots of sugary snacks like candy and cake, so it’s pretty awesome. If you’re really into it, you both can even dress up too. You can have all sorts of costumes to choose from, like classic Halloween ones or even nerdy costumes like other superheroes. That would be pretty epic.

Hulk: Going to a Halloween party with you is always a ton of fun. The two of you spend most of your free time together and share many interests, so it's no surprise that you'll enjoy dressing together for the holiday. When you arrive at the party, you always try to coordinate your costumes, whether that means you're dressed as fictional characters. As the night goes on, you spend time eating snacks, hanging out with the other guests, and enjoying the music and decorations. Whenever one of you gets tired or wants a break, you head outside to get some fresh air and chat privately.

Captain America: Going to a Halloween party with you, depending on the atmosphere and the crowd, can be an exciting, exhilarating experience. There's always the opportunity to create a unique, fun, and memorable ensemble. From the atmosphere of the event, you could have a spooky, terrifying, and mysterious night, or even a cozy, lighthearted occasion. Regardless of the tone of the event, there is always the potential for you to dance, play silly games, eat snacks, and spend quality time together, dressed as your favorite characters or in unique outfits of your own design.

Winter Soldier: That depends on the partners, love. It can be fun in a crowded house, with lots of booze and snacks, and your significant other, getting a drink or trying to find a quiet spot, just to sneak a kiss or have some fun. It can be exciting and romantic though he prefers a quiet night with you even if it means handing out candy with you instead.

Black Panther: Going to a Halloween party with you is always a fun experience. He usually arrives dressed up in matching costumes with you, ready to make a statement and turn some heads. You both spent the evening together, enjoying the spooky ambiance, the music, and the delicious snacks. He takes fun pictures together and explores the event, laughing and having fun together. He might even get you to compete in a costume photo shoot, trying to outdo one another with your creative and imaginative choices. It's an enjoyable time, seeing you be your silly, fun-loving self and engaging with him in a world of playful mischief.

Doctor Strange: Going to a Halloween party with the person he loves is like having the whole world to himself. It's a special moment of connection and intimacy where you can express yourself without judgment and celebrate with each other. Whether you dress up together or go in matching costumes, the night provides an opportunity for playful banter and flirting. As the night progresses, you can dance together, laugh together, and truly enjoy the moment. Nothing can top the feeling of being together and having fun on a night dedicated to all things spooky.

Thor: Going to a Halloween party with you is always exciting and fun. You'll start off by getting dressed up in your costumes, picking out perfect outfits that will make all the guests look twice. Once you're ready to go, you head to the party and enjoy a night full of dancing, drinking, and talking with friends. We always look forward to the different activities that the event organizers set up. If it's a costume party, then the night usually ends with lots of fun and laughter, as everyone enjoys some playful banter.

Ant-Man: It would depend on what costumes you and he pick. You could end up having a lot of fun, being silly, and laughing at your funny costume choices, or you could be embarrassed if you picked something too crazy. It could be a night to remember, if you and he picked something romantic, or it could be a night of horror if you decide to dress up as scary characters. Either way, the important thing is that you're having fun together and enjoying the Halloween festivities.

[noblebs]

🏷️🎁🤲👨‍👩‍👧‍👦💘

thank you Kraken! 🖤 I'm just going to keep answering these for Orion, I'm sure everyone's sick of hearing about him by now but Im not ready to talk in-depth about my two newer characters yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

🏷️: What is their full name? Do any of their names have any special meaning? How did you come up with them?

haha his full, complete, real name is just Orion. he tacked on Murphy as a surname to blend in better with humans, but it has no significance tbh

it’s just a name Ive always really really liked the shape & sound of, I briefly thought about renaming myself Orion before I picked Skylar so it was still fresh in my mind when I was making him

🎁: If they needed to give a friend a gift, how would they go about choosing one? Would they buy it, make it, or do something else? Would others consider them good at gift-giving?

ooh Orion would probably be great at gift-giving, but she does it very rarely. I think fae consider giving gifts uncouth at best* so it's not her first inclination, but yeah if she decided to do it she'd look for something she knows would be meaningful/relevant to their interests and personalize it in some way on top of that. you better believe if she's going to do something it's going to be over the top

*fae are all about social contracts and interpersonal debts, so giving a gift without expecting something in return is like walking up to someone and saying, "I do not want to be friends with you." fortunately Orion has assimilated into human society well enough to know that they fucking love it when you do that

🤲: Do they have any deep desires that they don't talk about and/or don't even realize they have? Do these desires conflict with their main goal at all?

ohohoho okay so, Orion has wanted to become human for ~20 years because of the death of her human lover. she has deliberately gotten herself stuck and refuses to let herself grieve + move forward

but she's just about reached a breaking point. you can't dwell in grief and loss forever, eventually something has to give. so deep down, part of her wants to just let it go and move on, but she's terrified of doing so because she doesn't know what else to do with herself

she's also desperate for intimacy and love/acceptance, but she can't bear the thought of another loss, so she either pushes people away or holds them so tightly they get sick of it and leave on their own. these are not feelings I can relate to or have drawn from any experiences btw

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦: What is their family like? Are there any family members that are particularly influential and/or important to them (whether in a positive or negative sense)?

I am so proud of what I've come up with for Orion's family! so he has 3 parents - Aries, Fornax, and Lacerta. yes their family members must always be named after constellations. he probably has a couple grandparents floating around, but he's never met them, and no siblings. his parents were his whole world growing up. I could write essays about each of them, suffice to say they are very loving but Aries and Fornax just can't understand why she's all hung up on non-fae people, Lacerta is more supportive but also has a more hands-off approach to parenting

💘: Do they have a "canon" romantic partner? If so, who is it and what is their relationship like? If not, what kind of person would be the optimal romantic partner for them (the most interesting narratively, not necessarily the healthiest/what they think their preferences are)?

in writing, no, and as much as I want to write a subplot for that, I feel weird about doing so BECAUSE

in game, there's this one motherfucking NPC who was introduced in I think our 3rd session. I adore him but I'm worried I as a player have missed my chance lol. if Orion doesn't get to be obsessively codependent with this depressed demonic senior citizen then what's the point!!

[carewyncromwell]

17, 20 and 27? ^^

17. Who is MC's heart throb? Why?

LOL, well, at school, Carewyn did nurture a crush on Andre, before she dated him! She not only really admired his talent for flying and fashion, but his confidence and effortless amiability. Carewyn herself may be able to project confidence and has been able to make friends easily enough due to her immense sensitivity toward other people's feelings and needs, but she is not a social butterfly, and when she was younger and still seen as "that delinquent Jacob Cromwell's sister" by most people, she saw this popular Ravenclaw who could effortlessly strike up a conversation with someone and immediately end up their friend and envied that. Plus he was very nice and incredibly generous! Andre always helped his friends in need with fashion emergencies, whether with advice or even by making his own pieces from scratch by hand. Ultimately, though, when Andre did actually ask Carewyn to the Celestial Ball in their fourth year and they started dating, they weren't actually the power couple one would assume. Andre isn't as attuned to people's feelings as Carewyn is, especially if you're not the sort to wear your feelings on your sleeve, and so at times ended up being a bit too blunt or insensitive, and because Carewyn is the type to soldier through and not tell anyone she's hurting, that only bred confusion and resentment. Andre is the sort to wear his emotions on his sleeve, so he wasn't able to pick up on Carewyn's more subtle expressions of her emotional state. To add to the problem, Carewyn had MAJOR trust issues to work through as well, so she simply just had trouble letting down her walls enough to be an equal in a relationship as it was. She was fine with taking care of Andre's problems, as she did her other friends, but she was so focused on looking her best for Andre at all times because of how much she admired him that she would never open up to him about her own problems...so yeah, this person that should've been her rock and shoulder to cry on was never really allowed to be. Finally, their wants and needs in a relationship were honestly just very different. Andre wanted someone who'd be up for playing lots of Quidditch, dressing in lots of pretty clothes, going to lots of parties with him and potentially even having sex -- Carewyn, being ace but not realizing it yet, had no interest in or inclination toward sex and, as mentioned earlier, is no social butterfly. Carewyn needed someone who'd do things and engage in intellectual discussions with her and be able to provide encouragement, stability, and emotional support -- Andre may be able to talk about just about anything, but he's the type to like a loud, flashy lifestyle with lots of travel and his inability to look past Carewyn's stoic mask made him ill-equipped to help support her emotionally. The two broke up in their fifth year and went back to just being friends, and honestly, they've become closer platonically than they even were before, since they understand each other in a way no one else does. And after the Second Wizarding War, Carewyn reconnects and eventually becomes romantic partners with her ex-Captain Orion Amari! (Guess this girl's type is Quidditch players, LMAO!)

27. If MC could be any creature, what would it be and why?

Hmm, Carewyn would honestly prefer to stay a human, if she had a choice. She likes being a witch! But if she had to be a creature, I think she'd pick something that flies -- she's been enamored with flight since she was very little. Carewyn's Animagus form is a robin, so I guess she'd choose that.

And 20 is here!

MC Ask!

[talkingtomycomputer]

Intrinsic Value

Feeling good about ourselves is one of the hardest, loneliest, most human experiences I can think of. It is an aspect of life we often neglect or ignore and many of us do not prioritize this until later in life. It is a different process for everyone who attempts it. Many of us never fully do experience it, but that is okay, but I highly encourage everyone to try. Whether you need the assistance of therapy, or medications, or if you do it completely by yourself, you deserve to feel good about yourself at least some of the time. Let me say that again, you deserve to feel good.

  I would like to think I am pretty decent at giving advice, but there’s one area I cannot quite express fully enough to be able to help someone through it. I wish I had the words to help those of my friends who struggle with finding their own inner worth. We derive our value from a lot of different things in life, whether that be friends, family, work, or in our romantic relationships, but we often forget about our self-worth. Aside from all these areas of our life, we possess value. Even when we disappoint our friends and family, even when we underperform at work, even when we break up with our partners, we are worth something. It can be easy to get caught up with external validation, because when life is good, we receive it regularly. Unfortunately, life is not always so good. 

Sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes we find moments in our lives where external validation is few and far between. These are moments to remind yourself that even if no one is telling you this, you are important, and wanted, and loved. The human experience is a funny one to me. For most, when we are young, we are surrounded by people all the time whether it be in school, camp, church, sports, or clubs. This continues all the way into young adulthood for those of us who decide to attend college, but dramatically declines when we leave school. We go from constant communication from our peers to seeing them a couple times a month, or even only a few times a year. This causes many of us to go through the extreme discomfort of having to become our own best friend. We are now the person we spend the most time with. This means in order to fill that void of immersive socialization, we either need to seek it out or we need to grow used to feeding that part of ourselves through personal hobbies and interests. Oftentimes, this process occurs by ourselves.

I have personally always enjoyed my alone time. I am the type of person who, much of the time, chooses to stay home with a good book instead of going out to socialize. I have always been this type of person. My parents needed a quiet afternoon? No worries, I’ll hang out in my room. I spent a lot of time by myself as a kid. I have an older sister who was much the opposite, she went to school before I did, and spent most of her time at sports, in theatre productions, or with friends. I had a small handful of friends I would hang out with outside of school, but I was a little shy and didn’t really enjoy sports or extracurriculars until I was older. I did a lot of independent playing and it taught me how to craft intricate worlds full of imaginative characters, and magic. This was a reality I lived in by myself until I was around high school age. This reality is where I have found myself returning to in my newfound adulthood. It is a place within me that I can find comfort in my own words and praises and delights. I spend time in this place reminding myself that I am creative and wonderful because my imagination is creative and wonderful. This place within me that I have concocted is full of love and therefore I am full of love. In the metaphysical sense, I am amazing because I think amazing thoughts. I think therefore I am. If I spend all my time telling myself that I am worthless then I become worthless. If I think I need the praises of others to feel good, then I need the praises of others to feel good. 

Do you see what I’m getting at here? You have to invest time into being kind to yourself in order to feel good about yourself. You must think to become. You decide you matter. I treat myself kindly by spending time doing things that I want to do. I book trips with my friends, and I go hiking and camping, and I visit my family, and I spend time reading at coffee shops alone. I do these things for no reason other than because I want to. I do not do them because someone expects me to or because I have obligations to do so. I do them because they make me feel good, and it is how I wish to spend my time. I still have all the other obligatory duties, like going to work so I can pay my bills, and grocery shopping so that I have food at home to cook. I feel comfortable in my ability to say no to absolutely anything. 

Establishing a routine that includes these acts of “self-care” is a vitally important thing to do for the health of your relationships, as well as for the health of your mind. We must spend time investing into ourselves in order to grow comfortable and content with ourselves. Taking the time to remind ourselves of our own value enables us to deal with adversity and hardships more effortlessly. When we experience something negative in our lives, sometimes we turn the blame on ourselves. Feelings of guilt and worthlessness can usually follow these negative events, and the only way to overcome these moments is by giving ourselves the grace, kindness, and forgiveness we would grant to others experiencing these feelings. Life is full of these difficult moments, so providing yourself with the skill-set to deal with them is an investment into your long-term happiness.

So do the work. Have conversations with yourself about your values and live by those basic truths. Be authentic to yourself and do not compromise your beliefs and give yourself the freedom to feel confident about your decisions and actions. Remind yourself that you are kind, honest, intelligent, loved, and anything else that you need to hear. I am loved, I am valuable, I am a wonderful addition to the world. You are loved, you are valuable, and you are a wonderful addition to the world. Be proud of yourself for making it this far, and good luck with your journey.

[aldcldo]

"  I  WANTED  SOMETHING  DIFFERENT,  SOMETHING  BETTER.  " 

DOSSIER. • MEMES. • PROMO. • WISHLIST. • VERSES. • HEADCANONS. ( under construction! )

 #ALDCLDO  is  an  independent  writing/roleplay  blog  for  cyberpunk  2077's  PANAM  PALMER.  considering  the  nature  of  said  game,  sensitive  &  triggering  material  will  be  abundant  here.  panam  has  multiple  verses  &  is  available  for  multiple  ships  that  will  each  take  place  in  their  own  unique  verse.  duplicates,  crossovers,  ocs,  multi-muse  blogs  are  all  welcomed,  though  blogs  that  are  in  no  way  related  to  rp  will  be  blocked on sight,  as  well  as  minors.  please  read  the  rules  that  are  below  the  cut!

i.  as  i  am  someone  who  prefers  an  enjoyable  and  easily  navigable  dashboard,  i  tend  to  follow  selectively.  if  i  come  to  the  conclusion  that  following  your  blog  will  not  accommodate  this  preference  of  mine  after  i  do  a  once-over,  then  i  won't.  also,  let  it  be  known  that  i  am  not  going  to  be  using  anyone  just  to  increased  my  number  of  followers  and  i'd  appreciate  if  you  show  me  the  same  courtesy  by  not  using  me  for  that  purpose,  either.  in  other  words,  if  i  follow  you,  that  means  i  would  like  to  interact  with  you,  and  i  hope  you  choosing  to  follow  me  means  the  same.

ii.  i  don't  think  this  needs  to  be  said,  but  still  ��� while  this  is  a  hobby  that  i  take  pleasure  in  doing,  i  will  not  treat  this  as  anything  more,  like  some  sort  of  obligation.  i'll  be  sure  to  communicate  with  partners  in  cases  where  it  may  be  generous  to  do  so,  like  if  i  want  to  drop  threads  or  ships,  if  i  will  be  taking  a  hiatus,  etc.,  but  please  understand  that,  as  a  human  being,  i'm  subject  to  fluctuating,  ever-changing  moods  and  i've  a  life  outside  of  this  that  includes  responsibilities  and  other  hobbies,  all  of  which  could  impact  my  availability  and  activity.  i  will  not  tolerate  impatience  from  anyone;  as  much  as  i  appreciate  people  being  interested,  no  one  is  entitled  to  my  time.

iii.  if  you  want  to  ship  with  me,  you  need  not  be  shy!  whether  your  muse  ends  up  a  romantic  partner,  business  partner,  friend,  enemy  or  whatever,  of  panam's,  i  guarantee  you  that  i  will  love  it.  exploring  dynamics  and  relationships  of  any  and  all  kinds  is  great  fun  for  me.  however,  please  bear  in  mind  that  i  can  and  will  refuse  or  drop  anything  that  i  don't  see  working  or  i  feel  no  longer  works.

iv.  if  you  are  a  minor,  have  a  laundry  list  of  triggers  and/or  are  easily  squeamish,  i  recommend  that  you  do  not  follow  this  blog.  cyberpunk  2077  deals  with  a  host  of  mature  subjects  and  themes  that  will  often  be  explicitly  depicted  in  some  way,  shape  or  form  here.  you  are  responsible  for  your  own  well-being.  additionally,  i'm  okay  with  writing  smut  but  on  the  condition  that  i  know  you  well  enough  and  i'm  comfortable  with  you.

v.  i  ask  that  if  you  want  to  cease  being  mutuals,  you  soft-block  me.  likewise,  i'll  be  soft-blocking  those  that  i  no  longer  want  to  be  mutuals  with.  please  continue  my  answers  to  your  messages  in  a  separate  post.  kindly  do  not  use  this  blog  for  resources;  reblog  everything  from  the  source.  i  neither  participate  in  nor  condone  drama,  call-out  culture,  witch  hunting,  and  vague  posting.

vi.  i'm  iris!  my  pronouns  are  she/her  and  i  am  above  the  age  of  twenty-one.  feel  free  to  message  me  if  you've  got  any  questions  or  would  just  like  to  chat!

[weekenddating1]

Discover the Excitement of Singles Events on Long Island

Long Island, with its picturesque landscapes and vibrant communities, offers an array of opportunities for singles to connect, mingle, and potentially find that special someone. Whether you're a Long Island native or just visiting, Singles Events Long Island on the Island provide a fantastic way to meet new people and have fun while doing it. Here’s a guide to what you can expect from these events and how they can enhance your social life.

Why Attend Singles Events?

Singles events are more than just opportunities to meet potential partners—they are social gatherings where you can expand your circle of friends, engage in fun activities, and enjoy the company of like-minded individuals. These events are designed to be relaxed and enjoyable, making it easy to strike up conversations and make connections without the pressure often associated with traditional dating scenarios.

Types of Singles Events on Long Island

Speed Dating: One of the most popular formats, speed dating events offer a structured environment where you can meet a variety of singles in a short amount of time. Each participant has a few minutes to chat with another person before moving on to the next. This format is ideal for those who enjoy quick interactions and are looking to meet many people in one evening.

Social Mixers: If you prefer a more casual setting, social mixers might be for you. These events, often held at local bars or restaurants, encourage mingling and conversation in a relaxed environment. Attendees can enjoy drinks, appetizers, and live music while meeting new people.

Themed Parties: Themed singles parties offer a unique twist on the traditional event. From costume parties to holiday celebrations, these events provide a fun backdrop for meeting others. Themes help break the ice and offer natural conversation starters.

Outdoor Adventures: For those who enjoy the great outdoors, Long Island’s singles events often include activities like hiking, beach volleyball, or boat rides. These events are perfect for active singles who prefer to meet others in a more dynamic and engaging setting.

Workshops and Classes: If you’re interested in learning something new while meeting people, consider attending a workshop or class. Long Island offers a variety of options, from cooking classes to art workshops, where you can bond with others over shared interests.

Finding the Right Event for You

With so many options available, finding the right singles event for you might seem overwhelming. Start by identifying what you enjoy—whether it’s dancing, dining, or outdoor activities—and look for events that align with those interests. Local event listings, community boards, and social media are great places to discover upcoming events.

Tips for a Successful Singles Event Experience

Be Open-Minded: Keep an open mind and be willing to meet people who might not fit your usual “type.” You never know where a connection might come from.

Be Yourself: Authenticity is key in making meaningful connections. Just be yourself and let your personality shine.

Have Fun: The primary goal of these events is to enjoy yourself. Go in with a positive attitude and you’re more likely to have a great time and meet interesting people.

Conclusion

Singles events on Long Island offer a diverse range of opportunities for those looking to expand their social circles or find romantic connections. From structured speed dating sessions to casual mixers and themed parties, there’s something for everyone. By choosing the right events and approaching them with an open mind, you can make the most of what Long Island’s singles scene has to offer. So why wait? Check out upcoming singles events and dive into the excitement!

For more information on upcoming singles events, keep an eye on local event calendars or visit popular venues and social groups dedicated to Long Island’s singles community.

For more info :-

Long Island Singles Events

[sakshigupta941]

Exploring the Dynamics of Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage.

Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage: What’s the Difference?

When it comes to tying the knot, there are two main ways people go about it: love marriage vs arranged marriage. Each has its own unique dynamics and brings different experiences to the table. Let’s see that what sets them apart.

Love Marriage: Following the Heart’s Desire

In a love marriage, two people decide to get married because they have fallen in love with each other. This usually happens after they have spent time getting to know each other, often through dating or being friends. The decision to marry is based on mutual feelings of love, attraction, and compatibility.

In a love marriage, individuals have the freedom to choose their partners based on their own preferences, likes, and dislikes. They may consider factors such as personality, interests, values, and goals when deciding if they want to spend their lives together.

One of the key aspects of a love marriage is that the couple typically has a strong emotional connection and understanding of each other before getting married. This can help create a foundation of trust and companionship that is important for a successful marriage.

Arranged Marriage: Embracing Tradition and Family Input

On the other hand, an arranged marriage is when the families of the bride and groom play a significant role in choosing their partners. In some cases, the couple may not even meet each other until the wedding day or shortly before. Instead, their families take on the responsibility of finding a suitable match based on factors such as social status, financial stability, cultural background, and family values.

Arranged marriages are often seen as a way to strengthen family ties and ensure compatibility between the spouses. Families may consider factors beyond just the couple’s individual preferences, such as how well they will fit into each other’s families and communities.

While the idea of an arranged marriage may seem outdated to some, many couples in arranged marriages find love and happiness with their partners. Over time, they may develop a deep emotional bond and understanding, similar to that in a love marriage.

Exploring the Dynamics

Both love marriage and arranged marriage have their own advantages and challenges. In a love marriage, people have the opportunity to pick their accomplices in view of individual inclinations, prompting areas of strength for an association all along. However, they may face challenges such as societal pressure or familial disapproval if their choice goes against traditional norms.

In contrast, arranged marriages offer the support and guidance of families in finding a suitable partner, which can lead to long-lasting relationships built on mutual respect and understanding. However, couples in arranged marriages may need time to develop romantic feelings for each other and may face initial challenges in adjusting to married life.

Ultimately, whether a marriage is arranged or based on love, what matters most is the commitment, communication, and effort that both partners put into making the relationship work. Each couple's process is interesting, and what works for one may not work for another. Love marriage vs arranged marriage are simply different paths to the same destination: a lifelong partnership filled with love, respect, and companionship.

[atypical-artisan]

To celebrate the last day of aro week, let's take a look at all the punch out fellas I hc being on the aroace spectrum!!!

Mr Dream:

Orientation- Aroace, romance/sex positive

Dear old dream grew up thinking it was normal to pick and choose who to love. The thought for many years that to feel romantic feelings was a job or a costume, something to wear for a little while and take off at the end of the day.

It wasn't until his late 20s, when he talked to an online forum about it, did he learn the terms 'Aromantic' and "Asexual'. Even after that it took him a bit of time to process how he truly felt about romance and sex, how he wanted to interact with them going forward, and how he'd orient his life knowing that simply never pursuing a relationship like that was an option now.

In the end, he decided that he liked them both enough to continue. He liked doing things to make a person he cared about and trusted happy and if that meant sometimes doing romantic and sexual stuff, so be it.

Gabby Jay:

Orientation- Greyromantic/sexual

Gabby had never been interested people, sexually or romantically. For much of his youth, this distressed him. It left him with the idea that he was broken and needed to be fixed, yet he never could force himself into those types of things. Once disowned, he dropped the shame, reveling in the family he made for himself and his friendships.

It wasn't until he was 52 that he began to experience a new feeling around Doc Louis. It took him months to figure out, but he realized he was feeling whatever semblance of romantic feelings (At least in his mind) he even had.

Unsurprisingly, this shook his worldview. After so many years of being 'unable' to feel love he now suddenly liked someone. It made him think about whether or not this life before then had been wasted. After a while of contemplation, he admits his confused feelings to Doc, who helps him work out that he's not only a-spec, but even his exception with Doc isn't unusual.

A bit after that, him and Doc start a slow, steady relationship that leave them both very happy :)

Narcis Prince:

Orientation- Unsure, but close to Demi-Greyromantic and gay

Narcis never really prioritized romance in his life. Even as he read countless romance novels and had the idea pushed on to him endlessly, he never saw the point of holding it so high, especially when compared to his platonic relationships.

Narcis always preferred his friends above dates and potential partners, to the point of never even considering someone as a potential partner unless they'd been a friend first. However, he's still had a fair amount of famous crushes and general aesthetic attraction to people alongside genuine romantic feelings, which has made finding his place on the aro/ace spectrum tough.

Even his romantic relationships and feelings have left him confused. Often because his feelings are hardly different and often based on the platonic feelings he has about a person. While in a romantic relationship with someone, he treats them mostly as a friend with a handful of special perks (Like casual makeout sessions).

Von Kaiser:

Orientation- Aroace/aroflux demisexual, sex and romance neutral

Kaiser grew up not caring about sex or romance at all. He never had any shame about being aroace, though you won't hear him call himself that as he isn't too in touch with queer stuff.

Throughout his adulthood though, he's noticed the occasional aesthetic attraction turn into genuine, but often short lived crushes on people. So far there have only been two times in his life where he actively was interested in pursuing romance with someone.

The first of these is with glass joe- he was never sure why but he always liked him in a way different from the others, though as their years together went on he never expressed these feelings and eventually realized that their relationship wasn't meant to be.

The second was great tiger. After almost a decade of friendship and years living together, the two realized that their feelings had evolved into something other than the platonic ones they began with. It didn't take long for them to agree that whatever this thing between them was would most certainly stay and that they wanted to be like this for the rest of their lives. They firmly call their relationship queerplatonic and are very happy it isn't a 'traditional' romance whatsoever.

King Hippo:

Orientation- Aroace, sex and romance repulsed

Hippo always knew he was aroace and never questioned it or had any type of urges. He never thought to even think of himself as different until he came to the us, where he picked up on and subsequently became uncomfortable with the constant bombardment of romance all around him.

It was through through searching that he found an aroace community to bond with while in the US and to help him deal with the intense culture shock. He's absolutely overjoyed to be a part of aroace communities wherever he can find them and hopefully give more people the chance to join them too.

Great Tiger:

Orientation- Demiromantic/sexual and gay, sex and romance neutral

Tiger grew up very aware that he was demi and very unsure of how to feel about it for most of his life. Through trial and error he found that he very, very rarely was ever attracted to people after getting close to them, and even then only to men.

He didn't expect much to happen when he entered the wvba and he certainly didn't expect to become so close to Kaiser of all people. But in the end, he's very happy with where they're at.

They don't really do the traditional romantic stuff like kissing or holding hands and going on dates but their affection for each other is beyond what either would call friendship. Still though, they plan to get married for the benefits and so Tiger can have custody of their kids as well.

Super Macho Man:

Orientation- Apothiromantic pansexual

Macho spent much of his teenage years trying to fall in love and failed miserably. Every date felt wrong, every romance movie and book was completely alien to him, as unrealistic as dragons and unicorns. Still, he knew that he HAD to date... because what other choice did he have? Besides, he certainly felt sexual feelings so romance must be somewhere in there, right?

It took him until he was 25 to accept that romance not only wasn't for him, but that it actively disgusted him too. And it took him another year to stop feeling like a heartless freak for only being interested in sex. Even now he still feels weird and guilty about not wanting love, not that he'd admit it to anyone though.

Despite this, he has a fairly healthy polycule of fuckbuddies- people who he trusts to not catch feelings for him. And in a way, it makes him feel better whenever he calls one of them up.

[shivlabs]

Find the Best Dating App Development Company

The most significant difficulty you will face would be developing a successful internet dating application. It is possible to develop a dating application that a particular niche, audience, or location can use.

There are several phases that you have to go through before designing your dating application, including market research, user pattern analysis, level of competition, and contacts for the best dating app development company. So, let's learn how to choose the best one according to your needs. 

What is a dating app?

A dating app is a virtual environment developed to help people find romantic partners and build relationships. These applications work on smartphones and other mobile devices that employ technology used to pair users according to their location, interests, or preferences. Users often create profiles with personal information, photos, and other details about their interests.

Dating apps use algorithms that consider compatibility, shared interests, and mutual friends to match users with potential partners. These platforms usually have features like messaging, virtual gifts, and real-time notifications to improve the user experience. 

Online dating is expected to continue growing. Over 366 million people used Internet dating in 2022.

What is the best way to choose a dating app development team?

The time to choose the best development firm has come. Many choices will be available in the market. Your choice must be optimal. 

But if it is not done properly, then you will never be able to make your app popular and have the revenues that you expect. Before rolling out the dating app, we have made a list of best practices that you need to follow in order to choose the right development team.

1. Choose an experienced company

First, the experience of any chosen company should be checked. Most new development companies assert that they provide the best service. 

You will also see firms that have been on the market for more than a decade but they were never in the spotlight. You should be careful in your choice. The company you should select must be managing other projects and also have a strong market position.

2. View portfolios and past projects

Check the reputation of the company before you hire them to code your dating application. Check out what the client says about that company. You can check whether the company is living up to a high standard of development and if its customers are happy or not.

This information allows you to make a better decision. Look at the company’s portfolio to know what kind of work they have completed and if their quality is equal or better than your own.

3. Explore the services available

You should also ensure that the developers of dating apps you wish to hire offer you development and launch services of your choice. The firm can continue to support your application functions even after production. 

You will not have to deal with the risks of any issues that might affect your project. You should also compare the tools and strategies for each service they offer so that you do not have to bother about duplication.

4. Get a quote

App development cannot be done for just a few dollars. Hence you have to ask your desired company about the quotation. From the source, you will learn how much to invest in software management and development. 

This will also enable you to prepare a budget. At this point, you may request the specifics of the cost breakdown so that no additional charges or surcharges are paid.

5. Team of skilled professionals

Ensure that developers and professionals have the required skills. Development is not enough. 

You should understand what outcomes performance testing and automation, load tests, code deployments to hosting servers or cloud servers results, where data is stored in databases, etc. However, if the company does not provide these services, then there is no point in selecting it to design your dating app.

6. Verify the developer's license

You should also ensure that you check the license of any development company you select. It is advisable only to go ahead and verify the document because your dating app handles sensitive data. Without a license, you cannot sign an NDA.

Conclusion

Busy people can easily find a partner by means of dating apps. They are efficient, time-saving, and easily accessible. The top dating app development agency usually has a team of professionals and developers whose efforts yield the best results. Related Post:

Mobile App Development Costs: Development & Maintenance 2024