#but idk if I really like it…pen pressure feels weird

[a-stars-art-blog]

Okay so I’m trying Lineart again so here’s my go at it.

Feel free to give tips/suggestions/encouragement. This looks so whatever to me. I just really don’t like lineart

[ezlo-x]

Erm,,,ig i’ll ask

I feel like hiding here and pretend that im typing in the tags would help but. Is it normal to feel like a rut in writing? I never like to ask or talk abt this things cause I do have a sort of pride and worry ppl will doubt my skills. Idk smth like that. Lately I’ve been feeling this writer’s rut with my au’s story. Where things feel very spotty, yknow when you rub your eyes hard you start to see spots? Well that’s how I see my au story, where it’s clear on what I want in certain parts but it’s a haze in other areas.

I feel like im overthinking and over complicating things in my story. Rn where its at in the comic is fine. I guess the issue I have is that it feels like there’s so mich going on. Like do I want to go on this path? Will it be easier if I try another way? I feel like I haven’t explored certain things that I want to explore. I feel like I haven’t pushed much the horror elements of my story enough. But I worry it will be too edgy. I feel like im adding too much symbolism and details where there shouldn’t be. But I also love adding symbolism even in the smallest details. Idk this chapter really cracked my little head, aside from feeling frustrated that the linework doesn’t look good cause im still figuring out the pen pressure to my liking. I love the story I wrote for that chapter and im still pretty proud of it, I guess it just feels like im taking too long to work on when I just want to finish it and share with you all.

Anyways I guess this is entering in vent territory but I would like some advice to figure this out. I guess that’s the issue of being an overly critical person that you become your biggest critic. But I love criticizing things!! I love being critical!! I love engaging in discussions on how things could work better!! But also im a very scared and paranoid person nfkajfksnkfb i mean no harm. Ik this story will not be a 10/10 story I at least want it to be cohesive. I at least want people to enjoy it. Ik this story for me mostly but I feel lost!! Idk what to do!! But I also feel so selfish in asking its weird like i dont want to this to be all abt me. I just want to figure out smth that I feel a little lost on.

Strangely enough I love doing art critiques in class. I love hearing what ppl have to say eventho 90% of the time its just ppl standing there awkwardly cause ppl are afraid to say anything. But I enjoy it! But it’s also a double edged sword, cause art class you are free to critique cause ur learning but here?? This is my personal stuff for my own enjoyment, how would I handle that? Ig advice on how to improve would work than straight up criticizing my work. But also ik that I might get an anon or two with this post and I always get scared getting an ask when it’s related to criticism. Im sorry but I get scared!! Im spooked!! Idk if its cause in the past it was very much a russian roulette of an anon being nice or anon being fucking mean. Like dating back to when I was teen. Did you guys know that some of my artwork that I did when I was 16 ended up in kiwifarms?? My scariest tumblr moment…..

Anyways I realized I went off the rails on what I was originally asking for..

[boxbusiness]

Ranting about dumb stuff~

I never really realized how much my old dying tablet effected the pen pressure over the years and how I just grew accustomed to it. I decided to replace it now since it’s gotten to a point where it doesn’t register the pen stylus half the time. I suspect it’s because I’ve skinned the surface of my tablet. It feels rough if you run your hand over it and I’m guessing that messed with sensor or something.

So it was jarring to me when my new tablet works like butter. Like so smooth and effortless and even though the brush settings are the same the pen pressure is different. I’ve tried tweaking it to mimic the old one but I don’t exactly know what to change since the problem came from the tablet not the art program. I couldn’t get the same tablet since I have a discontinued model and I thought could work with the new one, but it just feels so off. I don’t know how to explain it, but simply running the stylus over the new tablet felt wrong. Probably because whatever the material it’s made of doesn’t feel the same, it just feels like there’s a weird stickiness when I draw. I just feel uncomfortable drawing.

It hasn’t really affected my art style, but it feels like a struggle to draw. That mammon doodle was a struggle to draw. It weirdly hurt. Idk if I’ll get used to it. I just feel stupid and upset about dumb stuff.

[genericpuff]

Hey weird question but what’s your recommend pen pressure for clip studio??? I had the program for a while and enjoying but I can’t seem to get the pressure to feel right

ouu this really will depend on you, some people require different amounts of tension / pressure in their pen grip to feel "right". It also depends on your tablet, some tablets come with a wider range of pressure output - right now the standard across the board seems to be 8192 levels of pressure sensitivity, but other models can come with less and that can limit your range in what's possible (I remember the days when 2048 levels was mind-blowing LMAO and now I'm learning that 8192 is the new norm ?? wild). That said, levels of pressure sensitivity are kind of like resolution differences in TV's - there comes a point where you can't even feasibly see the difference anymore so a higher number in pressure sensitivity isn't necessarily going to make any sort of significant difference for you.

Ultimately what I will suggest is to pick a pen pressure that lightens the burden on your wrist and tablet, you shouldn't have to be digging the pen hard into the surface of the tablet to get lines at their full size. If you find yourself doing that, you should try and lighten the curve of pressure sensitivity in your settings, your tablet surface and joints will thank you.

It should also be noted that you can change both global and brush-specific pen pressure settings. So while I have a general global pen pressure setting that applies to the entire program, some brushes I apply lower - or higher - minimum size values depending on the purpose of the brush. Lining pens for detailed work I'll typically have lower minimum values, whereas large painting brushes I'll keep at a static pressure size because they don't need to get too small for detail and are best expressed with sweeping motions that can be achieved with just a few levels of pressure. And some brushes I just have pressure sensitivity turned off entirely because they're meant to be the same uniform shape throughout!

You should also check your pen tablet's specific pen pressure settings as well. IDK what brand of tablet you're using but they usually require drivers to work and if you start those driver hubs you can find pressure sensitivity settings to apply not just to Clip Studio, but across all software.

I'll share with you my settings if you want to try them, but again, you'll have to adjust them to your needs as what I find comfortable isn't necessarily going to be comfortable for you.

Huion Tablet pen pressure settings:

(I have these set to a linear default, it just means that any customizing I do is exclusive to the program I work in, makes things less complicated for me)

Clip Studio Global pen pressure settings:

You can find this option under File > Pen Pressure Settings; it's where you can adjust the global pen pressure to apply to the entire program regardless of what brush you're using. What's nice about this is that you can actually draw while this is active and it will adjust your settings accordingly to match your technique!

Here's a lil' video demonstrating it:

And of course, just note that regardless of whether you're changing global settings or specific brushes - a higher curve means less pressure is required to achieve the targeted brush size, a lower curve means more pressure is required to achieve the targeted brush size. So if you have a brush set to a size of 15, a higher curve means you won't need as much pressure to get to that size, whereas a lower curve will require more (but that means you can achieve a wider range of smaller sizes leading up to size 15 with a lower curve). Where those curves fall on the graph determines that curve of pressure - if a high curve is immediate, then the range of pressure is very very low; if a curve starts off low but gradually builds up to and ends in a high curve, you'll have to travel that curve of pressure through your technique to achieve that highest point, meaning wider range of size expression, but not necessarily beneficial if you don't need that wide range and want to be able to get from small to big quickly and without much pressure needed.

Specific brush pen pressure settings:

So what's basically happening here is that some brushes have more unique pressure settings tailored to that specific brush (such as the DAUB Basiliscus brush which, iirc, came packaged with those pressure settings, meaning it has unique properties that don't specifically adhere to the global pressure settings I showed above); whereas other brushes have the pen pressure turned off entirely either to prevent it from having dynamic lines, OR to allow it to be manipulated through other pressure settings like tilt/thickness/opacity rather than size.

All of this is why my specific tablet driver has a default linear path for its pen pressure, so that I can alter the necessities of my brushes and software as needed. By default, I don't like having to put too much pressure on my pen to achieve the targeted size value, so my general settings curve in CSP looks like this:

Which means I can achieve that maximum value without too much pressure; if that upper curve was further away from the start point, I would need to apply more pressure to hit it.

Whereas if I need a specific brush to achieve a wide range of pressure expression through a slowly-building curve, then I'll edit those brushes settings to do so! (the DAUB Basiliscus brush seen above is, again, a good example of this, because its pressure curve is the complete OPPOSITE of my global pen pressure settings.)

And if anyone's still struggling to grasp the concept of the pen pressure graph, I think the best way I can compare it is to something like volume, or even video editing fade-outs or animation frame timing. It's all in the timing, if something gets bigger faster you don't get a chance to see what came between point zero and point 100. Here's a visualization with examples in terms of music that is fundamentally the same in how pen pressure operates:

I hope that all makes sense and helps! I probably went into way more detail than necessary but I figure if I'm answering the question anyways, may as well go into more detail for those who might also benefit from this! Especially when it involves graphs LMAO (I'm awful at math but graphs are my jam hahaha)

[38sr]

not sure if this necessary qualifies as an #industryQs but any tips for doing line art that does just look like i’m drawing a coloring sheet if that makes sense? idk something just feels clunky and off about it compared to others art (including yours which is awesome btw)

Oh hmmmmmmm, well honestly my lineart is a result of my handwriting being pure cursive. So, I normally suggest people to practice writing in cursive haha. It might be a weird suggestion, but penmanship classes actually helped me a lot with understanding line depth and control throughout my art journey. If you think about it, writing in cursive is about using one line (or the least amount) to write a whole word. That requires control of pen pressure and when to curve, make short strokes, long strokes, etc. The more you practice that, the more decisive you are with your line making.

For this drawing, I used a thicker, gritty brush and you probably can't tell but I'm using a combination of long and short strokes to help push the pen pressure (or really the line thickness from the brush).

All the red lines are long, singular strokes that have a bit more variation in line thickness unlike the blue lines (mainly the hair) which have the same line thickness. Personally when I see young artists start out, the line weight feels heavy and flat because there's not a lot of confidence in the line making. More strokes doesn't always mean a better line. Knowing when to use a long or short stroke can drastically change the "look" of a line. And the extra cool thing about it is that it can be applied to any pen/brush you use:

In this drawing, I'm using a brush that has no pen pressure whatsoever. The line weight/thickness doesn't change regardless if I'm using a long or short stroke and yet it doesn't feel flat.

But something like this starts combining line with form (human body, fabric, hair, etc.). Which for myself was good way for me to learn how to depict form more decisively (and accurately) since I couldn't rely on line weight to make thicker strokes. So, I would say try practicing writing in cursive to help feel more comfortable with line making. A common practice is writing the English alphabet in one stroke (it's possible trust me haha) or the least amount of strokes possible. Also drawing/writing strictly in ink traditionally can help you think more about what lines you want to make since it's more permanent. At least that's what helped me, so don't feel like to have to do any of this if it doesn't work for you. ^^; I hope that answered your question!

[cruel-kaya]

Okay so listen up this is gonna help.

First stop thinking. I know it sounds weird but yeah. For me I just chanted some sort of mantra or smtn. Just to keep my mind from roaming back to the bad stuff. Especially when I used to get really shitty urges to kill myself, I would literally bundle myself with blankets so it would feel soft and I would clench the blanket real hard as to not bleed my palms out. If I was outside I would use my hoodie. I always had it with me. I used to scrach myself so bad I would bleed and if anyone asked I would just say it was an accident cus my skin was literally ripped.

Second. I had to make peace with the fact that if I can't fix the things that arn't in my control. It's the best thing I did. I adopted the it is what it is attitude. I just had to make peace with it. If it's out of my hand it cannot stay in my head. I get it from reading your posts that even you deal with familial issues, I had the same problem. For me I just turned quiet. I would do whatever to get no scolding ls or lectures at the time. And I would hear to what ever they were talking. And I had absolutely no friends at the time. I made friends with my books, fictional books not school books. I felt pressured to read my school books. So I escaped to the world of fiction.

Third. Now that we've stoped the bleeding time to bandage it to let it heal. Start working on yourself. (The wizard liz, tam kuar, phersohenieminds a few youtubers to help) pinterest search "shadow work prompts" keep a journal. Dive back into your childhood interests, keep goals, drink your water don't deprive your body. It's a temple where you reside. Treat it with the at most respect.

And finally to start healing completely start focusing on yourself.really only yourself. Treat yourself like you would your own child, your own lover. Be the parent you never had to yourself.

Do ask if you need more. I would love to help.

Love ya.

Toodles

-🪻

Thank you so much for penning all this down it really means alot

And coming on self harm , I have hidden all the sharp objects and instead now I hold ice in my hands its just idk its really painful like it makes my hands completely red but it's better than cuts , but still whenever I cut I try to heal it and cover it because sometimes I have did the stupidity of cutting the same area over and over again each day

I have kept a journal regularly like it always stays with me no matter what.

I have also started abiding by what my parents say I do whatever they told me too and that saves me from any nagging or scolding.

I'll try to take care of my body too cause somewhere dealing with these mental issues is affecting my physical health too.

And yes I'll try to treat myself with basic humanity if not love

Again thank you very much your post actually got me to be open , and say the things which are enclosed in my heart

Lots of love to youu

[synthaphone]

long post talking about making neopets style art, but not in a way that's useful or coherent or proofread

idk why of all the things that i struggle to do, the thing i keep coming back to trying to pull off is 'imitate the neopets art style circa 2004-2007'. i'm really proud of the stuff i make in that style, but i've always got a nagging feeling about how there's like, very few applications for this very specific skill i'm building, and i could be spending this time improving at anatomy or perspective or anything else. i guess that's just the power of 'wanting to learn something really bad' combined with, critically, 'believing im really close to figuring it out'

there's something about the line weights on a lot of old pets that's really hard for me to capture, and i've gone through a bunch of different ideas of why that is- like, maybe its easier to do in flash, or its something about the way i have the pressure sensitivity set up on my pen, or maybe the official artists also carefully shaped and weighted their lines while scaling the drawing down every so often to make sure they 'feel right' on a small scale (lol), or maybe its that shit that artists who've been inking shit for a long time learn how to do intuitively that i'm just not at the level of yet.

i'm looking at this smug bastard like. how do they decide which lines should be thick vs thin. my instinct is to go thicker on the corners of points like the ear tips, but this artist went thinner, and i think weighted the lines heavier on the undersides of shapes where the shadows are? neo artists aren't immune to stuff that frustrates me when i'm making pet art either, almost every pet has some part of their lineart that makes a weird tangent with the damn Circle. the linework on the hands straight up isn't clear at all, but i can tell what the pose is from how the shoulders are positioned and the expression of the character, so i guess that doesn't really matter at the end of the day

im pasting the lines i'm working on next to existing pets with varying levels of detail, but it might be too early to tell if they have the right level of clarity. i'm also i'm back in photoshop because that's easier for me, but maybe i should have tried flash again- doing the art in vectors does give the finished image that hard to detect Crispness that i'm always chasing

in order, these were drawn in photoshop in 2019, photoshop in 2022, and Flash in 2024. i was going to be like 'oh god, the Vully DOES look sharper than the centibyte, it must be Flash' but honestly i got the halloween one to look pretty close?? maybe i scaled down my photoshop images differently in 2019............ i think i've also gotten better at mimicking the lineart style, so it could also be that, but that doesn't account for why the top one looks kind of blurry in comparison. am i crazy. is it visible to anyone else.

anyway ive gone off on a tangent. for some reason this is what i'm obsessed with doing so i'm just gonna keep on trucking until something else seizes my attention instead i guess

[meyhew]

sorry if this is weird but what pen do you recommend for annotating books?

who cares if it’s weird i love talking abt pens so i will tell u abt a bunch

my go to is the pilot hi tec c 0.25mm. sexist pen of all time if u like a really fine and precise tip. it’s writes soooo smoothly with the lightest pressure and doesn’t bleed thru the page which is always sexy and i think even necessary when writing in a book

second is the pilot hi tec c 0.4mm. it is essentially the same pen but there’s a world of difference in the feel of it. if u prefer a bolder print i’d go for this one. it shows a little through the page depending on the thickness of the paper but if that sort of thing doesn’t bother u it’s a great pen

next is zebra sarasa 0.5mm. this one i mostly use for underlining only but i’ve annotated with it in books with thicker pages and it’s good! glides very nicely if you have a smooth paper and comes with a very comfortable grip

have recently gotten into muji 0.38 mm. idk if i’ll use them in books often but so far they’re incredible for writing. i’ve been doing a lot of novel timelining using them and it’s an addicting feeling i keep wanting to find something else to write so i can keep using them

for underlining purposes i also love pilot frixion 0.5mm. it feels thicker than the rest, even the sarasa, but its erasable! and it glides so very sexily. i dont like writing with it bc i have unsteady penmanship that changes depending on the pen but if i just want to underline it is 10/10

lys recently found pilot juice up 0.4mm and said it’s very sexy and i believe her. have yet to use it myself but pilot has yet to let me down even with their thicker tips so i trust this will be good

[capcollector]

HIII more oc asks for you. feel free to answer with bunny or leon in mind or anybody else.. i am the curious guy ever and will devour it either way.

💭 THOUGHT BALLOON — what is your oc's MBTI, enneagram, and/or other personality aspects (if known/interested in)?

🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

🔶 LARGE ORANGE DIAMOND — does your oc know cpr? do they have any other medical expertise?

🎄 CHRISTMAS TREE — what is your oc's favorite holiday?

🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

🤒 FACE WITH THERMOMETER — does your oc get sick easily?

okayyyy thank you good night 💥💥

send an emoji/description of emoji to learn more about an OC

thank you so much! i’ll answer for leon and bunny since they were both mentioned

💭 THOUGHT BALLOON — what is your oc's MBTI, enneagram, and/or other personality aspects (if known/interested in)?

ok i’ll be real i’m really not familiar or that interested in personality types, sorry😭

🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

bunny doesn’t have any and i don’t think she’s particularly interested in getting any. i’ve toyed around w the idea that leon and coco get matching tattoos after a few too many drinks. i still need to design what they’d be tho. something fairly small and not immediately noticeable, maybe on their fingers?

🔶 LARGE ORANGE DIAMOND — does your oc know cpr? do they have any other medical expertise?

i mean. leon is a doctor. so he knows CPR and any other first aid. he’s good at what he does, and when he’s completely focused on his work he doesn’t break under the pressure at all. i think he’s a very skilled surgeon and general medical examiner (as in, doing autopsies). nothing fazes him when it comes to medical stuff.

pre-war, i think bunny had a general idea of how to do CPR but she’d never done it before. she didn’t know any medical stuff either. post-war, she’s kinda had to learn some basics. gotta adapt to survive! she’s never done any sort of major medical procedure on anyone, tho she has been the one that needed immediate medical attention after a particular ambush while she and deacon were out one day. it’s fine now she just has a scar on her side.

🎄 CHRISTMAS TREE — what is your oc's favorite holiday?

pre-war bunny really enjoyed christmas and new years, mainly just for the parties she’d be invited to/throw. any excuse to get together and get drunk and eat good food and have fun. post-war idk if she really thinks much about holidays anymore? honestly i think she’s surprised they still exist in some capacity. i think her faves would stay the same regardless tho. also now that she has kids and a family to experience halloween with, she does enjoy that, but it does still leave a bittersweet taste in her mouth bc the world ended right before halloween/all the decorations can still be found 200+ years later. it’s a weird feeling.

similar to bunny i think leon also enjoys christmas. mainly bc he likes any excuse to go see his friends. and his friends live in the south so he has an excuse to Not trudge through snow! that’s very important when you’re a traveling doctor ok. he definitely does get the occasional case of christmas blues tho bc inevitably he does miss his dad and jonas. i think he has some really fond memories of the three of them celebrating together in the vault.

🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

when leon’s really focused on what he’s working on, he has a tendency to just kinda tune everything out. it can take a few shouts/shaking his shoulder to snap him out of it. bunny has a tendency to chew on her lip when she’s nervous or bored.

🤒 FACE WITH THERMOMETER — does your oc get sick easily?

shockingly no. i think leon only gets seriously sick like once every few years. in his canon i like to think the mothership zeta stuff was literally a fever dream. the alien stuff may or may not have been exacerbated by booker being next to him and telling him his fever was some extraterrestrial disease. regardless leon believes even harder in aliens than he did before so. it’s fine.

i think bunny is also in pretty good health all things considered? pretty average. gets the occasional cold or whatever. i think bunny and leon are both very much like. work through the sickness type people. bunny bc she likes to do everything herself and is such a workaholic that you gotta make her relax, and leon bc he feels like he owes it to everyone around him to always be on top of everything and “i’m a doctor i’d know if i was sick” *passes out*

[venomgaia]

what's good about a pilot falcon?

HI! The Pilot Falcon (older generations were sold in the US as the Namiki Falcon for whatever reason) is a japanese fountain pen manufactured by Pilot!

it's often referred to as the best modern flex pen, or the best gold nib for a beginner! Tldr for people who aren't pen nerds, a flex pen is a pen that...well, flexes! Most pens have some sort of "flex" to them that results in some sort of line variation, but flex pens can handle a relatively higher amount of pressure. Think like a G nib used in a lot of manga. Old pens were the MASTERS at this, and a good bit of that is due to the nibs being made of gold, which naturally has a "bounce" to it that modern steel nibs have a really hard time living up to. Most people wax poetic about Waterman or other vintages like that because of it. Even modern gold nibs can't really keep up with the gold nibs of yore, but the Falcon is considered to be one that can. I do think legally it's considered a "soft" nib, meaning it's not truly a flex pen but has a lot of flex qualities to it, but some terms that get used are used interchangably so. idk. True flex nibs aren't really a thing in fountain pens these days outside of Noodler's Ahab and Konrad (which are their own nightmare and a half tbh).

The Falcon prized amongst artists for it's very fine nib, which Japanese pen manufacturers like Pilot and Platinum are known for. A Japanese Fine is comparable to a Western (Kaweco, Lamy) Extra fine, and a lot of these pens come in an EF, F, and M. It gets alot of nice line variation despite being so small, and is really an all-around great pen, if legend is to be believed :] An alternative to buying the Pilot Falcon would be getting the Pilot 912 FA, which has something called the "Falcon Nib," not to be confused with the actual pen. They actually look pretty different. The FA nib (right) has these weird cuts on their side that help with flexing and allow it to mimic a full-flex nib, but again. According to legend, modern pens don't flex like vintage pens do, but it IS pretty close.

(sources mentioned in alt text)

I've never used either myself, but I'm pretty picky about my pens and so I don't know if I'd ever pay upwards of $200 unless I got familiar with the nib first tbh....The falcon's nib isn't offputting to me like many feel about it, but I'm particular about aesthetics and the feedback on paper and I can't tell if I like them just from looks alone lol. Right now, I don't have much experience with pilot nibs, but if i were to get a pilot pen, tbh I'm looking at the Pilot Elite/e95s in a fine or medium, or a vintage platinum pocket pen.

Anyways that's that and this is also that. *twirls so elegantly and then collapses onto the ground in slapstick fashion*

[redr0sewrites]

this is so cool!! ok ok what do you think of ❄️🧸🔪? love your stuff btw!

AHSHSJSHSHS TYYYYY!!!! ask game is here for anyone else interested ♥️

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

URHEHRHREHGHHHHE IDK I HAVE SOO MANYYYUY!!! i would really love to read a domestic x reader (platonic) fic ab the entire hazbin hotel cast, like just silly stories of stuff that happened off screen and like genuinely just filler episodes but in fic form. like i want to read about charlie and vaggie having inside jokes, or lucifer making a duck for vaggie, or husk telling angel dust stories about when he was an overlord, or Sir Pen's shenanigans with his eggs or alastor hanging out and gossiping with rosie and how reader would fit into all of that. just a long, cutesy fic of them all being HAPPY and TOGETHER before the next season inevitably rips me apart. i would love to write it myself, but i would also love to see it written by some of my fav hazbin fic writers- shoutout to yall ur all awesome (like @bigfatbimbo, @kottenox, @bad-and-drawn-that-way :)

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

just ask ♥️ i love moots and i love having mutuals!!! i also often follow a lot of content blogs such as fic writers or fanartists who create content for fandoms i like so if u create any content like that i would love to follow u!!!! i also am more prone to following people who comment/interact with my posts a lot or come in and give me specific asks a lot, but i understand not everyone is confident enough to do stuff like that- ik i certainly am not!! always feel free to ask if u wanna be moots, no pressure!

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

oh my lord there are SO. MANY. i did a lot of research on like sounding when i was doing my sounding w vox hcs, and i also ended up doing research on dick piercings this one time when i was working on this one draft for an adam fic, and i've done a lot of random research for requests. not that these are "weird" topics per se, but i've received some requests for like readers with specific diseases, mental illnesses, chronic pain, stuff like that. to fulfill those requests i've done research on a lot of those topics!!!

[the-cat-chat]

February 24, 2024

Love, Simon (2018)

Simon Spier keeps a huge secret from his family, his friends and all of his classmates: he's gay. When that secret is threatened, Simon must face everyone and come to terms with his identity.

JayBell: Okay, let's start with the positives. Yes, it's nice to have mainstream movies that are more inclusive. Representation is important, and it's cool to see people happy that their experiences are shown on a big screen.

Because I know this movie is meaningful to so many, I don't wanna be too harsh on it. But overall, I just thought it was fine. Like the acting was fine, the dialogue wasn't too bad, and I really like the mystery component. I was very invested in the mystery, and it was fun to predict the identity of Simon's pen pal.

Simon's friends do irritate me. When they find out the truth, I feel like they're lacking empathy in a weird way. Sure, it's kind of gross that he tries to keep his friends apart from their teenage romance, but they have no sympathy for him being blackmailed at all? Even after he was forcibly outed? They're not understanding at all. With that said, I think their reunion scene is missing something more.

Most of all, I thought the ending scene on the ferris wheel with the whole school watching is a bizarre decision for Simon. Like he's pressuring this guy to come out like this? In front of all these people? I feel like it would have made sense for it to be more private. But then again, that wouldn't be dramatic enough for a movie.

Rating: 5.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I have to say I realllly have wanted to see this movie for years. I loved Nick Robinson in Being Charlie and Jack Antonoff was in charge of the music- I am shamefully still listening to all the songs from this soundtrack on the daily - maybe pushing it by at leaaaast monthly. And pls don’t remind me of the year that was bc I don’t wanna think about these being “old songs.” I’ve been listening to Jack Antonoffs stuff religiously since I was like 13 sooo we’re off to a great start. And I am really ashamed to say this movie made me feel very mehhhh. And the music was the best part for me. And okkkk maybe I’m just tooooo removed from the youths these day- but I had some qualms.

First and foremost most - it is a very good story, and an important one. It’s just done so poorly and in a very icky and cringe inducing way and I really wonder how it differs from its book. It’s okay and fun at first - ohhhh who’s blue- it’s him, no it’s him, no it’s got be him- So it was fun to keep guessing which characters it could be. But uhhh. The fact is I knoooooow from growing up using a PUBLIC computer for emails you would nevvvver leave your email up. Like you sign out and recheck that you’re signed out a thooousand times. And also like this is a big secret - why are you checking at school when it’s a secret??? Like I get it it’s looove and obseessssion. But I’d be paranoid. And obviously with good reason.

- I felllllt the cringe of the evil guy and his tshirts that all said something witty and punny. I am ashamed to say I had one or two too many of thoseeee.

- I also swear I’ve been in that exact high school theater room.

- I alsoooo swear that that Panic at the Disco reference was like a dagger to my soul. And it was the Vices and Virtues Era Brendon Urie- can I die now???

But uhhh yeah I hate his friends and he should have never forgave him??? Like there’s a lot of drama happening- buttt to turn on him?!?!? Wowza.

And the Ferris Wheel scene. I couldn’t. And these kids have no shame. To just stand and watch?!?!? How awkwarddddd let them have a moment. Anyway. It’s def a okay watch but Idk. The friends are just sooo annoying and self centered.It really ruins it bc it is an important message and story.

* Plus I endured too many war flashbacks I have actively pushed from my psyche since high school while watching this- so the cringe and awkward acting was felt tenfold.

Rating: 4/10 Cats 🐈

[chewinglass]

hey… forgot you existed for a bit. feels like the perfect activity for 3:11am me.

so weird that I’m pretty much just writing to my future self. Hello future lass, I love you. Tonight I really wanted to read that book that has that name, I really wanted to project myself on her, the one with my name, but the book isn’t what I hoped it would be. It makes me want to write, consuming mediocre art makes me want to create mediocre art. I hope the markets can accommodate for this.

Im still me. There’s still so much I want to do. I don’t know how to do it all. I think im going to become more strict with myself now, now is the time to finally develop self discipline. I think I need to break up with someone before that though. I could write so much about this person, he wants to marry me, I think he’s cool, a little too old for me, not super respectful of my bid to be alone but it’s not up to him. My emotions are all chaotic, I’ve gone through so many lesson arcs so far. Fantasizing about life with him, fantasizing about eclipsing him, fantasizing about being with someone who is the exact opposite of him, fantasizing about all the possible paths life with him could take, realizing that all of these are exaggerated fantasies and life will be much more strange and unpredictable. Reality is stranger than fiction. Right now I’m just trying to stay happy. Trying to get back to work, it’s hard. I feel so much time pressure. I’m waiting for manic inspiration to strike, just to get me out of this rut. It’s dumb.

I feel like I won’t let myself work on anything because everything I want to work on is “wrong” and I need to be prioritizing what needs to get done and what doesn’t better. Which is true, but it also means I’m doing no work right now. I hate it.

I’m the most powerful I’ve ever felt: so fully in control of my destiny, forgiven of my sins (I forgave myself), happy, not letting my life fall to pieces, building it up slowly.

I’m also the weakest: I miss my insane 16 year old self. I miss my insane 19 year old self. I miss the self I was in my fantasies.

I’ve known so many different selves, I want to be so many more selves. I feel incredibly pen holding right now, literally.

Thought about doing a spell tonight to unbind myself from my bad habits but as we know, magic can only do what it is allowed to do, and at a deep level I’m not sure if I’d allow it. My brain said just try tho, you can always reverse it. And my mind said “how do we know how to do this? How do we know the right way? Ask ChatGPT?” The fight hasn’t been settled yet. I’m so bad at committing to things. Ex; I would never do an exercise spell since I’d worry that I’d end up focusing too much on exercising and gym would become a 3hr a day thing (1hr prep, 1hr gym, 1hr sauna/shower). I need to learn how to go to the gym and be back in an hour. Or maybe just not go every day, or go in the morning if I can get on a sleep schedule I like? Idk. I also need to learn how to do this fully for myself, I might not see a difference in my body, I won’t get any external approval. Fuck it I should start going to the gym when I wake up.

I keep overcomplicating things. I want to learn how to eat an elephant. It’s Thursday I’m going to commit to a week of learning how to eat an elephant. I’m going to give myself a dr prescription:

- at least 1 hour a day of movement

- at least 1 hour a day of work

- at least one hour a day of cleaning up

- journal: what’s your fantasy morning routine? Try it out for two mornings.

journal: what are you excited to do during your hour of movement? Hour of work? Hour of cleaning? Imagine it before you do it.

It’s so important to imagine things before doing them when you create a todo list, especially if the task is intimidating.

One big open question for me is how do I balance exploration with execution? Will I ever finish the side project I wanted to finish? It could be really helpful for me, possibly others, and quick to finish. Why am I rationalizing it to myself?

I need to write a letter cancelling my travel probably. I need to get some of these constant ideas out of my head. Finish pg task. Make some designs. Update TestFlight. Ughhhhhhh I feel so bad. I keep wanting to run away. Maybe I need sleep. Yeah. It’s 3:39am. What else could I possibly do right now that wouldn’t be better done when I wake up? Plan my day tomorrow maybe?

ok I’m gonna drink a boujie relaxation drink called “I love my adrenals” and plan my day tomorrow. I definitely need to shower tomorrow lol.

I think I can actually get a lot done if I don’t travel or get a boyfriend. Dating takes so much time. Ok bye xoxoxoxo

[oflgtfol]

blogging about flight rising on main made me nostalgic so i took a quick look thru my flight rising art folder and i found this old wip that is unfinished and hasnt been touched since 2018. i still really like it, it hasnt aged too much really like a lot of my old art has, but maybe that's because its still unfinished. (btw that like, weird uncolored liquid was going to be lava lol </3)

really though it's making me a bit nostalgic for my old lineart style.. like man i kinda do miss having those types of lines. idk something about it just feels more organic and free flowing compared to my lines now, plus the pen pressure edges... but it always took so fucking long to do it that way and the inconvenience of having to bust out my tablet every time i wanted to draw... my current lineart style is quicker and more convenient which i like but i feel like im sacrificing something i used to have with my old style... </3

anyway this is my dragon ignacia btw.

[fleouriarts]

@jetstarred idk if this was rhetorical or not but i will give you my personal tips and tricks regardless

rendering is basically just sculpting with light. youre trying to make a 2d object look 3d and you gotta make the lights and shadows look like theyre matching the form to get that effect (i think its actually better shown in this other jane drawing i did). you will get good at this by just drawing stuff from refs and looking at how light hits stuff irl

generally the lit-up parts of a drawing are more important for showing detail while the parts in shadow are more important for showing form

a more normal artist would tell you to block out all your most basic lights and shadows first before getting more detailed. this is probably what you should do. however i dont do that because i get bored that way i literally just completely finish rendering different chunks of the piece until it all comes together

speaking of details. its so easy to get bogged down in trying to make something super detailed. you can avoid that by using a medium-to-big brush and not changing its size at all. i still use pen pressure, so theres some variation in size, buuuuut whatever its good enough. im weird so my coloring brush is 33 px instead of like, a more normal number like a multiple of 5

i guess another way to avoid getting bogged down by details is using a brush that doesnt blend. but i mostly use non-blending brushes simply cus i feel crazy when i dont have full control of my colors

ummmm idk what else. when in doubt you can just scribble some shit on top of your normal rendering to make stuff stand out more. using that other jane piece as an example again, i did normal rendering then added all those bright yellow lines to really bring out her hair and nose

ok thats it. if you want to see the way i render "in action" ig i have two speedpaints here and here. i saved another quad photo to redraw so i might do a speedpaint of that too whenever i get around to it. love you bye (said in the same tone as someone ending a phone call)

deer jane for the anon who wanted more of my furry design for her... anon i hope you're still out there to see this...!

detail shot + the ref pic under the cut

originally finished 4-7-2024

ref pic is by brendon burton, i changed the color grading up cus i misremembered it as being warmer than it actually was LOL

[kckenobi]

Five Favorite Fics

I was tagged by @meantforinfinitesadness to list my top five favorite fics that I’ve ever written! Hmm okay let's see...

(1) Rhapsody in Blue: my orchestra au, in which Obi-Wan, Anakin, etc. are professional musicians who also get wrapped up in a crime situation because of course they do

This one is my favorite for a lot of reasons, but one of which is just the fact that I did it entirely for myself. I didn't post chapters until I'd written the entire thing start to finish, so I was my own audience the whole time, and it felt like I was,,,,,idk, telling myself a comforting bedtime story every night during a really weird time in my life. Which I guess is sort of what writing fic is actually lol

(2) Bloodlines: in which Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Dooku are trapped together on Tatooine and have to collaborate to survive.

This one was just a lot of fun, and it was the biggest fic project I'd undertaken at the time. So that was neato.

(3) holes (collab with @katierosefun!): in which Maul manages to kill Anakin.

Okay in all honestly, I genuinely don't reread this one because it makes me cry!!!! I remember writing this with Caroline and like, crying while typing and accidentally wiping my eye with popcorn butter which made it all worse lmao. But this one's special to me because it was actually the first time in recent memory that I cried while writing, and it was because of my lovely co-author who just moved my heart :'))

(4) When the Music Stops: in which everyone goes to space prom AHEM I mean a Senatorial Ball, and Obi-Wan and Satine have some angsty slow dancing before sad things happen.

This one just always makes the list. It was so fun to write, and I have some fond mems of brainstorming with @lightasthesun :'))

(5) Everything, In the Air: in which I wrote a very niche fic about codywan and pandemic anxiety

This one isn't even necessarily my best writing, but I'm putting it on the list because i wrote it to get through a series of really hard days, and it was the first time I'd actually tried to write the internal dialogue of anxiety I guess? Like most of the time when I have an anxious character, it's easier for me to just write it from the point of view of someone else, to describe what it looks like instead of what it feels like. So this one was vulnerable, and hard, but I got some extremely kind comments from people who got it, and so it's special to me :')

No-pressure tags for some awesome writers: @pandora15 @giggles-and-freckles @katierosefun @stolen-pen-name23 @calltomuster @tessiete @the-last-kenobi