#but idk i just thought about it rn
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just a theory and maybe im insane (probably am) but do you think that thomas was brought back since we were supposed to be in highschool again? like it would make a cute continuation and a tie to the og hsl, but since they changed the place where the new gen is happening rather abruptly, thats why he is there?
#tbh i thought we would be getting to date the steve from love life that attends highschool if there was someone brought back#but idk i just thought about it rn#mcl#my candy love
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happy halloween! 🎃🐈⬛👻🐇
#i just wanted to draw emu as a jiangshi .#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#polysho#enjoy halloween everynyan unfortunately i have to go work a shift. i thought abt dressing up for fun when i get back#but 1 im lazy 2 i dont live alone and its my luck that somebody ends up knocking when im in the middle of being dressed like a clown#so i would rather not risk it. idk how people get into cosplay just for photoshoots/videos i dont have that conviction .#but halloween con was lots of fun and i got to see friends and trade candy so i enjoyed my celebration already. ^_^#also STOP BEATING THE SHITNOUT OF ME IDEK IF I CAN BOOO BACK FROM A SIDE BLOG. YOURE KILLUNG ME#once again some random guy will be hittimg you back. boo#to end my tags i am going to be pissed off because i cannot draw well rn and its KILLING MEEEEEE#im art blocked as hell and mad about it. my zines....#its so annoying like with my personal art its whatever but people spend Money on zines i need to get good.#its been like over a week so i thought inwould be free. sigh#i often draw emu fiending off of tsukasa. the way things should be. amen#also inthink rui would love to go all out for costumes but he got busy modding a tshirt launcher to shoot candy and forgot abt his costume#so hes a tuxedo cat. he thinks hes so funny
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if you struggle with mental health, one piece of advice i would genuinely give you is learn to knit.
or crochet: something repetitive to do with your hands, assuming you're capable of it. if you're like me and learnt to knit as a kid but let it lie fallow for a long time, it may be that starting a large, simple project (for me it was a cloak, but a blanket could work too) gets you back into it. or maybe doing something smaller, idk. i personally found socks really hard for a while because they felt smaller than my cloak but weren't getting Done quick enough for me. as i've sped up i find it more interesting to knit socks.
regardless, a repetitive task is great for emotional regulation (also see: autistic stimming), and something that you can look at and go hey i've done something, unlike simply using a fidget toy, can also help to pick your mood up when the brain is being cruel.
it's also useful as a conversation starter or distracter if you don't know what to talk about. if you're wanting to talk to older people also you're more likely to reel them in with knitting (i work better with older people, and 99% of people who ask what i'm knitting are older than me). it also gives you the opportunity to not make eye contact because you're busy knitting, even if you're still carrying on a conversation. if you're absolutely stuck for conversation you can count your stitches and people might stop bothering you.
if you have trouble focusing without doing something with your hands, you can knit! i knit a lot in church, and it helps me to focus on what's being said.
i probably have more reasons you should pick up knitting, but i can't recall them right now, so yeah.
#knitting#catkin knits#i remember one specific time back in october where i was sitting in Bible class utterly unable to stop the most horrible thoughts going#through my head. i was knitting as fast as i've ever knitted. no exaggeration to say i was knitting to stop myself from attempting to die.#and afterwards i sat there in the corner knitting for all i was worth. just repeating to myself 'not now. i am not killing myself now.'#and someone saw me in the corner frantically knitting and came to ask if i was ok. and asked how my mental health was.#must've been end of oct bc it was the first wednesday after i was out of psych ward. and i was having lots of thoughts about the method#i'd used for what is still my most recent suicide attempt. which was in october. and i had the means with me.#it would have been a horrible thing to do. to kill oneself at Bible class. with children around. but i wasn't in a particularly hinged stat#of mind at the time. that's approximately the only clear memory i have of that time in fact.#anyway idk why im thinking of that rn when im fine
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY HYUNJIN 🖤
#hyunjin#skz#bystay#staydaily#gifs#stray kids#love u with every fiber found within me. no one has ever impacted my life quite like you#i will be thinking about you even at the ends of the world#I WILL NEVER LET U GOOO O OO OO. OOOOOH my everything forever and ever like we are 4lyfers for real#if he asked i would hand pick stars from the sky for him just like flowers#😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞❤️❤️#idk why im getting so emotional rn like woah hh h woahhh woahhh#ive never been more proud and excited to be a fan of someone#the passion love and care u put in to everything u do is unmatched and#im looking forward to future knowing how u want to improve at things u love#even though to me u are perfect rn as u are#but the thought of u wanting to show us even greater things in the future makes me vibrate#thank u for being u and bringing light and love to my life every day 🥹#i hope the whole universe brings u all the love back u give to it#YIPPIEEEWW MIGHT OF SHED A TEAR#HAPPY BDAY MY LOVIEEEEEEEEE ILYYYYYYY
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Despite how obviously chaotic the other boys are I think that two things are actively disadvantaging and maybe even endangering Time rn
1) his worry for Twilight’s welfare and that of the others
2) his penchant for distancing himself from others.
He’s healed a lot from his adventures and the trauma of them thanks to time (heh) and Malon’s kindness, patience, and unconditional love. HOWEVER the things we endure remain with us even if they do not hurt quite so badly anymore (especially when they occur in such drastic ways during such formative years). Somewhere inside (perhaps not so deep now) is that terrified little boy who won’t allow himself to trust or love again. Who doesn’t want to get too close cause “nothing ever lasts”
He’s used to going it alone. He’s spent longer being solo than he has being married or teamed up with the other Links. His approach to tackling dungeons — whether chaotic or organized or somewhere in between — has always been the same.
Alone.
He’s the one who plummets down endless abyss.
He’s the one who bleeds and breaks and gets lost.
He’s the one who figures it out in the end.
And that’s okay. Because it’s lonely. It’s scary. But it’s only him who is in danger. And he can deal with that.
“You laugh because you know it’s true”
“You laugh because when it’s you who drags yourself home half-dead, it’s ok, it’s under control, but when it’s one of our boys…”
When it’s only him he doesn’t have to worry so much. He’s got a certain degree of control (real or imagined). And that is what he’s grappling for right now. Control to change a terrible fate he still sees looming. Control to keep his boys from suffering the way he has.
But now, with this last update, he realizes he doesn’t have it.
And while his expression here makes me laugh, it also saddens me. Four’s right and he knows it, he’s trying to resign himself to it.
Them remaining together — remaining with him, under his watchful eye — will end in their deaths at this point. It’s just not working.
He’s virtually powerless to keep them all safe. He’s the Hero of Time and he’s virtually powerless.
And that might just break him. Because the fear is still there. The fear that something will happen to one of his boys and he should’ve been there. He should’ve been there to stop it.
But he wasn’t.
Like he wasn’t there to protect the others from the Iron Knuckle
And that will consume him, weaken him. Until the Shadow can exploit it
Image credits @/linkeduniverse
#did this make any sense at all?#idk#but I love time so so much#and I wanna talk about his motivations#his thoughts#what I think he’s going through rn#he’s a quiet character#even amongst the other links#who’re known for their ‘language of silence’ as Malon says#and he tries to put forth an image of responsible leadership#and holds it even when he’s actively falling apart#so no one notices that he’s close to crumbling#the shadow might though#he just might#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu time#lu analysis#trin rambles
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Actual footage of Tony trying to talk to Kelsey this episode:
Now what I personally need is for her to despise him for a while then for them to have some big heart to heart and them to become best friends OKAY I'm very invested in what's become of their dynamic and I'm all here for "Punished" Tony the wet cat that he is I yield the rest of my time thank you.
#dndads#the peachyville horror#dndads spoilers#tony collette#okay now to ramble in the tags LOL#Ik we're all staring at Francis rn but yeah I need to talk about how much I loved Tony and Kelsey in this one lmao#I'm a big fan of how Tony's escaping the hospital scene read like a stray cat trying to escape the pound sbshjssjsk#not intentional just how it felt to me lmao#sorry everything that happens to Tony is just funnier when you remember that he used to be a fucking cat idk#Also love that Freddie was fucking up all his rolls and Matt was making all (or almost all) of his#we love when the dice tell a narrative yes we do#Kelsey was just such a badass I support everything she does#The old lady act was so funny Hermie would have appreciated her game#ok ok just wanted to ramble a little bit lol maybe more thoughts later#dungeons and daddies#dndads s3 ep 7#kelsey grammar
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would calling this something like "the sun to his earth" be a little bit too cliche? maybe...
#ted lasso#ted lasso fanart#tedependent#trent crimm#ted x trent#I JUST GAHH!! GAAAHH!!! I HAVE MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THEM!!!!!#pn.art#YEAH IM NOT IMMUNE TO THE SUN/MOON WHATEVER THEHELL :/#since i probably wont be able to draw what i have in mind rn id just say it now. i have this thought about stars on the ceiling and how ted#and trent grew up with different fathers. how ted had a loving dad who he wished he told him more how much he meant to ted#and trent's father being more strict. wanting him to be something else. a stronger man. someone who played football. and how glow in the#dark stars is just a core part to many kids' childhoods and how ted probably had them and trent didnt#IDK.. IDK IM THINKING ABOUT IT... im making zero sense and this is a thought that goes nowhere but i just love the imagery of it all SNIFFS#something something ted and trent being two people who didnt want to be like their fathers but in very different ways but also so similar#enough that theyll definitely buy their own kids glow in the dark stars if they asked#IM LOSING MY MIND RN. HELLO. ANYWAYS....#EDIT: WHY DOES TUMBLR LOVE REMOVING TH E FINAL LETTER IN SOME OF THESE TAGS
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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Hmmm thinking about writing and how hard it is
I feel like for how long it takes me to write one chapter I can use that same energy to make like 10 art pieces
I’m wondering if it’s even worth it
Like I enjoy writing but it just takes so much of my time
Should I just stop and only do art?
#it’s a rhetorical question btw#just thinking to myself rn#thoughts#I guess that’s why I like comics it’s a good mix of the two#but yeah idk I’ve been trying to get this chapter done for a long while now#and I know only a few people care about it and most people would prefer I just focus on art#idk its just been killing my motivation#I guess it’s better to think that most people don’t like it cause it’s a niche idea with weird ships and an oc#rather than the truth which is that it’s not that good#I make art to convince people of an idea or concept#and idk I just feel like sometimes I just fail with writing
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[asmr boyfriend voice] woof woof bark bark
#hermitaday#rendog#rendog fanart#hermitblr#hermitcraft fanart#ren#my art#did i ever tell you guys me getting mcyt at all was because i watched lizzies last life pov late at night while i was sick#and ren just. stole my heart#i knew nothing about him or hermitcraft at a time i was just like this guy is so fucking weird. i need to know more#and when i searched him up the first thing i got was the inappropriate compilation#really good first impression. never recovered from it#so yeah my mental state currently is rendogs fault#anyway ive always kinda had trouble drawing him. had to pull up alot of references for this one but i think this is the happiest ive been#-with his design.#idk what it is. i think it's partially because rens got a very model like face irl and im intimidated. guy could be selling watches.#the beard + glasses combo also messes with me i think#he always looks so accursed before i slap the facial hair on him#uhhh i don't think i have any other thoughts to say. good boy good boy goodboy good boy good boy#i might make a postmortem on hadm later on rn im tired. would be fun i think. id get to finish my scrapbook
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
–
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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touya + eggplant ; 3.2k ੈ‧₊˚ for our meet fruit collab ! ‧₊˚✧ ₊˚
touya's message comes across in the early afternoon, when you know he should be working.
the image that comes to mind is — hilariously sweet: him in ill-fitting trousers and freshly combed hair, leaning too far into some desk as he fiddles with his phone. biting his lip, most likely, running the very tip of his tongue across the hole his piercing left behind; amused.
it'd be even better, you think, if he wasn't sending you three eggplant emojis and nothing else.
it's bold, and startlingly so. enough that your heart rate skyrockets and sweat forms instantly on the back of your neck, in the creases of your palms, as you overanalyze three cartoon vegetables harder than you ever have in your life. you could easily believe he's sending this as a drunken joke, but he's been stone-cold sober since he was released, and if that had changed, even in the slightest, yumi would have told you.
you type out four different variations of the same question — asking what the hell that's supposed to mean — before sending none of them. are you...being a weirdo? eggplant emojis are inherently sexual, right? and maybe touya's been away for a while, but surely he would know that. right? in a single, wordless text, he's managed to make you sixteen again; too young to be crushing on your best friend's older brother.
— though you think of him now as he was only days ago: eyes clear and focused, razor sharp and set on you from across the todoroki living room. the very memory makes your stomach churn, violently; just a kid that should be worrying about their studies, and not about a boy that wouldn't give you the time of day.
before your thoughts can get themselves any more scrambled, another text follows suit:
yumi wants to know if u wanna come for dinner
eggplant, you tell yourself, as in the actual food that people eat. the actual vegetable, and not the dickish inquiry you thought it was. you do your best to ignore the little wave of disappointment that washes over you, and then the following crash once you realize that you wouldn't actually mind if he was asking after what you thought he was asking after; you, carnally.
you collect yourself enough to send him a normal, not weird text in response confirming that you'll be there, and his thumbs up comes across almost instantly. as if he'd been waiting for you.
touya was always in and out of their house when you and fuyumi were in school, but you caught him every now and then when things were good. safe at home, doing his best to hold down a job and stay out of trouble, soaking up a warmth from his family he never got as a kid, when their dad was around. how couldn't you have developed such a crush on him? to see him happy and whole, more dangerous than anyone expected, mysterious in a way that excited your teen heart — and kissing up to his mother at the dinner table?
you're not delusional enough to think he ever noticed you or your big goo-goo eyes, but sometimes he would stick his head into his sister's room, to grin and wiggle his eyebrows at you, before getting pelted in the head with a stuffed animal and chased away. it earned a high-pitched laugh from him, more of a game than anything sincere, but you still thought of him while staring at the ceiling in your own bedroom, wishing.
in all the time he was away — in rehab or jail or who-knows-where — you thought you'd outgrown your juvenile infatuation, but — here you are, still, with fevered cheeks at the very thought of him.
here you are, still, taking care to choose your clothes for dinner, as if it were only going to be you and him. fussing with your hair for far too long, as if he would notice. making little crescents with your nails into your palm outside the door to the todoroki house, as if you haven't been here thousands of times.
you've seen him since he's been home, of course, in the last few months, but there's been this weird aura surrounding you both, worse than it was when you were younger. you're tip-toeing around each other and you both know you're tip-toeing, and he's always wearing his little smug smile and looking too long. it's hard to be around him, really. a little easier to text, but every winky face he sends only winds you up even further.
when the front door swings open, you hold your breath unintentionally, neck straining until you realize —
it's only shouto.
"hi!" you say, trying not to sound as winded as you feel, though shouto — as usual — is unimpressed.
he blinks at you, two-toned, and almost rolls his eyes like the rotten teenager he's capable of being, attitude too much like touya's. there's a little doughy dumpling in his hand and he turns away from you while using it to wave further into the house. "she's in the kitchen."
fuyumi, even though you didn't ask. you follow him in and stick your tongue out at the back of his head, before going off to find your best friend — who is, indeed, in the kitchen, surrounded by bowls and utensils and too many real, actual eggplants.
"what did you do?" you ask upon seeing her treasure trove of purple veggies on the counter. "rob a farmer?"
there's really an absurd amount of them, though she doesn't look up from cutting one into little rangiri pieces. "no, actually, they were on sale at the farmer's market!"
you eye one closest to you before poking at it, oblong in shape and — kind of ugly. it feels odd in your hand when you pick it up, but that's probably because you're hyper-aware of every sound in the background of the house, of the burning embarrassment tucked away in your pocket in the form of touya's three emojis. shamefully, your thoughts take a dark turn, and when fuyumi finally glances up, you toss the vegetable back onto the counter too fast.
she snorts and shakes her head, pushing up her glasses with the back of her hand before pointing at the little steamer basket of dumplings near the stove. "try one! before shouto and natsuo eat them all."
you consider it for a moment before weighing just how much eggplant it seems you're going to consume tonight, and decide to wait until after dinner, if they're still there. along with her veggies, she's got a little tub of red miso out and also some pork frying in a pan, as well as too many bowls in the sink already. though you admire her passion for cooking, you know she'll wait to clean until everything is plated, and no one else will help her, so you take to starting on the dishes instead.
the frown she sends you can be felt, but you've been in this kitchen long enough that you think she should just give it up.
there's such comfort to being in here, with her, maybe because you really have done it so many times by now; the water is warm as it runs over your hands, sending little goosebumps up your arms, and you nod your head absentmindedly to the sound of her knife against the cutting board. you absorb the heat from everywhere quickly, and when you begin to smell the garlic and ginger cooking, you feel like a warm, doughy little dumping yourself.
you get lost in it with her and all the tension from the day melts, dissolves completely when you can lightly hear fuyumi humming over her sizzling pan. she tells you about some other things she bought at the market, gossip about a mutual friend you both have, she asks about the shirt you're wearing and why she's never seen it before, and you're rinsing your hands of dish soap when you hear her squeal—
"ah! get out!"
when you peek over your shoulder, you can see touya there, leaning too far over her own, smiling with full cheeks as he investigates what she's cooking. half of a little dumpling is in his hand and he looks down at it, makes a face before turning it over, and then he places it right back in the steamer.
"ew, gross!" fuyumi nudges him away with her elbow before plucking it right back out, trying to hand it back off to him. "nobody wants your half-eaten food."
and then, much to your horror, right in front of his sister — touya's eyes cut across the kitchen to you. one corner of his mouth quirks up in his little smirk and then you're whipping back around to look down in the sink, despite it being empty. his stare can be felt, too. you wonder if it's a todoroki thing.
"ew," fuyumi mumbles. you feel like you've been caught in some kind of way, though you don't doubt she clocked your affections for her older brother the minute they developed.
it's not something she's ever spoken directly to you about, however, which you're grateful for. you don't know how you would be able to handle that discussion, but she's always made sure to pass off the odd and unprompted little updates about touya over the years.
when he speaks again, it's clear his mouth is full. "shouto said he's not settin' the table."
"okay, then you go do it."
"no," touya snorts, "he's the youngest, that ain't fair."
"and you're the oldest, so you can ask him to do it."
"he doesn't listen to me and you know—"
"alright!" fuyumi sighs, and when you peek back at them, she's shoving her knife into his hands and shaking her head to herself, before stalking out of the kitchen.
you unravel out of your little dumpling warmth immediately, though your goosebumps return in full force. touya grins at you, happily, and tosses the kitchen knife in his hands in a way that looks too proficient, too dangerous for what it is. your teen heart thumps loudly in your ears, charmed and enamored by his tragic mystery.
— and then you take in his still-pristine work outfit, openly, now that he's watching you; slacks a little slouchy on his narrow hips, white shirt buttoned up to his neck. the tattoo there is covered up by bandages on purpose, and though he means to simply hide them from view, it only sharpens all his edges.
the small pink, hello-kitty band-aid on his cheek helps, too, in a cutesy way. makes you all too aware of how much has changed over the years. how much he's changed, all the work he's had to do, the dues he's had to pay. your heart swell stubbornly, seriously, and you try to shake it away.
your voice starts out small, embarrassingly enough. "you look nice in your fancy office clothes."
touya's hand slip into his pocket and he rocks back and forth on his heels once, pleased, before looking down at his loose tie. "think so? you like a white-collar man?"
you look back to the sink, shy. it pulls him in; a moth to the flame of your hesitance, and it's not a moment later that he's leaning up against the counter beside you, watching your heated face carefully. the knife at his side gleams in the kitchen light and — you're not afraid of him, couldn't be, but you wonder if anyone else has ever been.
the truth of what landed him in trouble with the law is unknown to you, the one thing fuyumi never shared, and you can't help but to be curious as to why. you're practically family at this point and it's not as if you could ever look down on them, ever, and while you couldn't possibly understand the horror they went through with their father — you can sympathize with the fact that it wasn't easy. that he left scars they'll always nurse.
touya's always been so out of your reach, despite being just down the hall. blame it on time or the slight age difference or your relationship with his sister; it's hard to hope that he could be here, at your side, truly. finally.
instead of answering, you simply turn so that you're facing him, hip leaned against the counter, and the bright eyes he has on your cheeks are almost impossible to be at the mercy of. even worse when his smile grows, boyish-ly cute.
"what, coming on too strong?" he asks, laughing quietly when you put on a brave face and roll your eyes. "figured the emojis would'a opened the door a little."
your cheeks flame, and you press your hands into them to tide back your smile at how — flirty he is. the step back you take doesn't go unnoticed. "i couldn't even believe what i was seeing when you sent those."
"oh, yeah?" the tone of his voice changes then, shifts a bit lower. if you weren't tracking his eyes as they shift down to your mouth, burning a little brighter, you might've though you'd upset him or said the wrong thing. "what'd you think i meant?"
you glance away from him, directly at the ugly eggplant you'd been fiddling with earlier, and the dark thoughts return. when you don't answer right away, he reaches over to flip on the tap, running the knife blade underneath the stream as you map the wide expanse of his hands, the length of his fingers. small, translucent scars litter his knuckles.
"i don't know," you lie, and then it seems like you have said the wrong thing, this time; touya turns a little, placing all his attention in the dish soap and the sponge you'd left out to dry.
you are sixteen, speechless, nervous by his proximity—
"you seein' anyone right now?"
—but this is not the same boy that left you behind.
you have to laugh in order to keep yourself rooted to your spot, here on earth in the todoroki kitchen, and it brings his attention right back to you. "uh," you say, lamely, "what?"
it makes him laugh, too, all your sputtering. "yeah, c'mon. i mean, i know i'm fucked in the head, but," and then he really laughs, open-mouthed, showing off the piercing still in his tongue. "i'm workin' on it, and stuff. renewed and reformed, or whatever."
"hang on," you shake your head quickly, frowning at him as you replay the words over and over; his self-deprecation is so genuine that you almost missed it. "i don't think you're...fucked in the head."
"well, that makes one of us—"
"no, touya, i'm serious," the step closer you take has him looking away, down into the empty sink; hilariously, a mirror of yourself that you never could have imagined seeing. it does strange things to your heart, your stomach, and your nerves. makes you bolder than you really are. "i've never thought that."
he doesn't say anything for long time, choosing to watch droplets of water as they fall from the faucet. his jaw works in the silence, like he's chewing the inside skin of his cheek, like he's thinking too hard.
and then he says, quietly, "i know." he continues without looking at you, sensing the confusion on your face. "i know you never did, 's'why i couldn't..."
you blink, lost suddenly in the meaning of his words and their whirlwind. you think back to all the times he grinned at you from fuyumi's doorway, how uninterested he seemed in you from across the dinner table, his silence on the rare occasions you were alone together.
you've known touya since you were fourteen and he was fifteen. you remember when their parent's got divorced and when touya got his license and when he got locked up, the first time. you've known him through so many of his bad moments and it never dimmed the little stars you had in your eyes for him, and you once thought that was a bad thing, that it would only lead to heartbreak time and time again from him. you once thought it was something only you and fuyumi knew about.
"i am tryin' now," he continues with a sigh, a little winded. "seriously. got this shitty job and am goin' to my meetings. not as big of a piece of shit." when you start to object, he shakes his head and holds up a hand to stop you from arguing. "i know, i just mean...you wanna white-collar guy, i'm a white-collar guy."
you feel shy again, especially as the high points of his cheek flush pink. boyish-ly cute. "so that's why you sent me three eggplant emojis instead of just asking me to come eat dinner?"
touya snorts. "yeah, like i said, i'm workin' on it."
"no, i..." it feels wrong to admit anything to him like this, so close as his grin grows on his handsome face, dimples showing. you've been thinking about moments like this for years, but now that it's here, you feel a little dizzy, looking into his bright eyes. "i like the eggplant emoji." you step away from him for just a moment, to grab his half-eaten dumpling, and his expression grows serious — a little dark — as you nibble on it. "i like the way you...do things."
his smile grows knife-sharp, something he's too good at wielding. "well, in that case—"
"can i come in yet? our dinner is about to burn."
you both whip around to take in fuyumi, hovering at the edges of the kitchen with her arms crossed. watching on, her cheeks tinged pink, too. you try to step away, embarrassed and caught, but touya only leans in, knocking his hip to yours.
fuyumi rolls her eyes at him, but the small smile she sends you has you wanting to be swallowed up by the floor; this isn't a discussion you've ever had to have with her, but now — it's inevitable.
you suppose you can't complain too much.
"okay, you had your moment, now get out," she sticks her tongue out at touya before shooing him away, making a small noise when he pinches your elbow teasingly. it makes him laugh when she swats at him, and he only holds up his hands and tries to drop all his weight back on her as she steers him out of the kitchen.
you fish the knife out of the sink and return to cutting another eggplant once she's back and stirring in her leeks and little miso mixture. the moment is tense between you to begin with — but then she's humming quietly under her breath and knocking her hip into yours, too, tucking you back into the comfort of this house you've always been in. this family you've always loved.
"you know," she murmurs eventually, rolling her eyes with another smile when you glance up at her face. one of the eggplants is weighed in her hands, and even she frowns down at it, before shaking it at you in a way that makes you both laugh. "he made me buy these, by the way."
—tucking you back into the comfort of this family that has, maybe, always loved you, too.
#it's only 6pm in hawaii rn :)#ONE DOWN ONE TO GO BABEY !!!!!#listen. maybe this is trash garbage. maybe. more likely than you think. but i DID IT !!!!#idk best friend's older brother touya 🥺 he's always thought you were too good for him 🥺#wanted to be the man you deserved 🥺#ahgkahgkah sorry about this SORRY#edit to add: COULD NOT think of a title for this so its title is literally actually just '🍆'#[ ☆ one shot: dabi/touya ]#✿ willow writes
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Designs for adult versions of the clone cadets in bad batch as Rebellion leaders
The first weird thing I noticed was that they kept specifying that tbb are "defective CTs", whereas iirc most other clones leave out the "ct" part. additionally, "special training" must have been a reasonably expected occurrence for them, since it was used as the Hemlock-jungle-lab excuse. they're also, oddly enough, the only three survivors from a base full of both cadets and adult clones. and finally, all three of them have noticeably different face shapes.
so my guess for their origins is that they're the results of the kaminoans trying to replicate tbb's mutations in a commando template, making them all specialized CC command cadets. From what we've seen of them, they don't seem to have quite as prominent abilities as say, wrecker or hunter, but are definitely above average to have survived that long.
Anyways the mini-backstory for them here is that they end up joining the rebellion around 5 years later (assuming that they're 6/12 and 8/16 in tbb s3, they would be 11/22 and 13/26 here) as the lead squad for the clone rebel cell after rex, wolffe, and gregor retire (and echo and cody are presumably dead).
Bonus: I originally had Deke's hair as dyed blond, but then he started looking too much like Rex (esp with the jaig eyes and partial arc armor) so I changed it back
edit: sorry i forgot to tag spoilers at first! it has since been fixed
#star wars#clone cadets#tbb#the bad batch#tbb s3#tbb spoilers#bad batch spoilers#tbb mox#tbb deke#tbb stak#redbean art#also i redesigned them a bit because their show appearances were kind of weird looking#also yes they made killing the jungle-sarlacc their entire personality lol#deke is arc-adjacent#mox is commando-adjacent#stak is a pilot#idk how clear it is in the pics but they all have a rebel insignia somewhere on their armor#they also all have a sarlacc-y element somewhere on their armor#deke has his as the focus of his paint#stak has a vine tentacle thing on his helmet#and mox has sarlacc teeth on his helmet#btw staks helmet is a rebel pilot helmet spliced onto the lower half of a p2 clone pilot helmet#hopefully they dont look too lumpy#i think this is the first time ive drawn clone armor in an actual pose that i didnt just copy from refs#and definitely teh first time drawing clone faces#i have. so many ref tabs open rn. why must clone armor be so geometrically complicated#i have more thoughts about the clone rebellion (i have mentally named it jaig cell) idk if you guys are interested in hearing it#also probably another korto vos incoming
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Dogstock are typical of what are often deemed the ‘evil’ races in many other fantasy works. They were created by some higher force to be slaves, they are carnivorous by nature, they resemble animals other than human in dentition and build. They growl and bite and walk behind.
The Uhasr (a dogstock culture) are descendants of such slave-infantry that was abandoned when the empire that used them to capture the steppes decided the land wasn’t so profitable after all, and more pressing matters drew their attention elsewhere. Like tools left spent on the ground, the unneeded, excess dogstock were left to survive on their own in Hochkiskuph. The native peoples, of course, did not welcome them any more, or see them any less as oppressors when the hand released the lead. To the Hochkiskuph peoples, the Uhasr are a predatory ghost, an echo that consumes them even in absentia. To the Uhasr, one human is much like another, differing in number and equipment, but never in essence. Uhasr are a species of wild animal with a human face. Humans are prey on two legs. Humans smoke and poison uncovered dens on principle, Uhasr abduct and consume men and women and children all the same.
A common trend I have noticed in media which aims to humanize monsters, is that it often relies on passivity. Humanity is contingent upon kindness. The monster that is A Person only so long as they are a harmless thing at heart, something which can be understood and befriended. Their violence is reluctant, their hearts noble. Grace is a concession to the dominated. Only the toothless beast, declawed and pinioned and caged, is one which has earned its personhood. The ontological enemy supersedes the ontological man.
#haven't posted them much (all wips) but been thinking about the sphinxish people in my setting. same world as thrones#different part of the continent like 2 whole seas away#this is inspired by a shitty comic a friend is reading and also thinking some of the writing in the long way to a small angry planet re#hostile aliens really really sucked.#i want to talk abt this more so im posting it if you have thoughts i would like to hear themmmmm#i'm very cynical about this kind of stuff lmao#dogstock#im also reading tollkien rn so im thinking about ORCS#i dont actually like the lotr trilogy all that much but not even bc i think the writing is bad i just think its kinda boring. sorry.#thats not a very interesting reason to not like something i dont even think its not good im just not super entertained. rip#like not saying there is no issue with it at all writing wise there is very much to say abt how it is utterly and uncritically#white good black bad fair elves and dark orcs and shit like that#but i've liked things more that have bigger issues. hi pern. maybe i just like shlock! idk!#rambling. im keyed up hi#the gibberish in spookygibberish
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the fact that me, as a fan of both lando and oscar without any bias (maybe a bit on lando but not that much), is going to witness both "oscar fans, lando antis" and "lando fans, oscar antis" posts all in my one dash 🥲🥲
also the fact that atp i couldn't even bother enough with this same situation on both lewis and george. now it happens on lando and oscar as well which got me like....
#landoscar#lando norris#oscar piastri#f1#maybe i need to admit atp rn that#this sport is just not built for a person like me istg 🙂🙂#like....i miss the moments 2 years ago where what i only care the most is only football and football only#and couldn't even give a fuck more about guys being in circles vroom vroom#i mean thank god that there's a bayern match just now right after the race ended#which really liften my mood up and distract myself a bit from intimidating discourse and whatsoever#hmmmm ngl maybe the fact that being a football football fan in general especially in this website really brings a comfort in me#meanwhile for f1...idk why but everything about it (especially during race and after race) really overwhelms me a lot seriously speaking#maybe the fact that football is more team oriented sport#meanwhile f1 is more individual oriented despite there are teams consists of 2 individuals#and the fact that me supporting multiple individuals in a one same team despite that f1 is individual oriented sport#kinda gets me digging my own grave atp tbh#i mean when i said individual oriented sport...it kinda means that in a perspective of most of the f1 fans#and now seeing all every kinds of discourse on my dash really makes me overwhelming a lot i'm ngl#that the fact that i couldn't able to curate my own preference for this f1blr space on my dash 🥲🥲🥲#goddddd srsly tho i just want to turn back time where i only cares about bayern frankfurt and germany nt only ffs 🫠🫠🫠🫠#but yeah who am i to turn around the past 🙃🙃...and plus that once i'm getting into one hyperfixation there's no turning back at all for me#so yeah#goddddd i'm so sorry but i'm just being so fucking messy rn#like all the things that i see on my dash really exhausts my brain and my thought process forreal i really need to throw up forreal srsly :(
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[Image ID: A lyric comic based on the Winter in Hieron episodes 02 and 04. The song used is Black Hyena by Everything Everything. The first panel is of Mother Glory and Chatterchin on a rooftop, overlooking the museum. The next panel transitions to inside of the museum, where Lenny Lenova is giving a speech in front of a banquet of halflings. The third panel, Mother Glory's nails drag against the inside walls of the building. The fourth, the banquet tablecloth catches fire. Fifth panel, the gnolls are baring their teeth side-by-side, at the ready. Embers float to the ceiling. The sixth panel is chaos. The gnolls are tearing through the burning building. Mother Glory has a halfling pinned at her feet but stares directly ahead. In the final panel, Lenny is cowering. He is encompassed by the lyrics. Black hyena gonna bite the idiot. End ID.]
my secret samol gift for ratvortex on cohost! gnolls in hieron go crazy
#friends at the table#f@tt#secret samol#secsam#winter in hieron#mother glory#chatterchin#idk what else here to add#ill talk about my thoughts more later rn i just wanna post so its out there#happy secsam!!!
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