#but id like to believe that it can be done
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Roommate!simon likes to act confident and cocky until you’re mouth is on his cock getting a third orgasm out of him
#the roommate series#simon ghost riley x reader#is this a little unrealistic? yes#but id like to believe that it can be done#if you try hard enough#simon ghost riley#call of duty
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Explaining your reasons....
#if blonde wins a third time i wont believe the results and will call a commission into voter corruption#idk i think i kinda prefer black on him#the purple has been fun tho ans i liked the dark blue as well#also the silver was actually really good for mkaing his skintone pop he looked very sunkissed#they only done kinda lighter brown on him id like to see a nice chocolate brown just because#but yeah i can appreciate most of these but i think blacks the one he looks most handsome with
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Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean
I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch
#goodbye volcano high#i dont have the money to buy it but god i need to watch a playthrough when i have time it's so interesting to me#like; the theme of 'yeah we're going die but that doesn't mean we can enjoy what time we have left' sounds amazing to me love that#its so funny i was actually watching a review of it that was basically 'this game sucks and here's why'#and then it just started listing off shit like- 'the characters designs are pastel they're nonbinary you die no matter what'#and then my neurons just went off and went '👁️👁️ oh! sounds amazing i want to see more'#fuck yeah pastel nonbinary dinosaurs lets go#well i think its just fang thats nonbinary and then two other trans characters#i saw a cutscene! and it was about the experiences of being an apart of a family as sec-gen immigrant and trans-#and i thought that was cool as hell dont recall ever seeing that in any of thr arts ive seen before (but there's lots of art out there!)#heard it got some glitches tho (havent looked in depth of what those glitches are) hopefully it got patched out#also im so fucking pissed i saw the gator game before i saw this 😮💨 (context; apparently made by people who made a fangame where they#the mc of this game a datable side character and they only have a happy ending if they detransition? which fucking yikes😬)#i saw people say 'oh but they did it empathetically' like how the fuck is taking a canon nb character and making them only happy through#detransitioning empathetic that sounds super fucking shitty and gross#i think a character that detransitions can be done and would be interesting to see- but this just reeks of people being transphobic for real#oh also purple dino has a slug or worm or something apparently! seems cute! just a lil thing#apparently its a rhythm game; listened to some of the songs and it sounded good! sadly i suck at rhythm games#but apparently failing doesn't affect the story? kinda wish it would but honestly better for me lol-#pink one and fang end up dating i believe- from what i saw pink is like- soft spoken artist? dunno if accurate but she's cute#all the characters are cute just look at them!!! awesome#also they have to just continue school like normal before they die and honestly thats so real#also saw people dislike the fact you dont see the characters actual die or the meteor#which is ??? dunno i just think some things are better left implied than shown-#anyways man i keep trying to find neat stuff about the game and all i see is people bitchin about it or praising the shit fan on instead 😔#man if i had two nickles for a time i grew to become obsessed with a media only for loads of people to hate id have two nickles#first nickle is kat elliot she's such a cool character Internet wasn't ready for her#also yes i saw obsessed i can just tell this is something ill go bonkers for#i mean god look how much text is in my tags for this already! and i still need to see the game in it's fullness!#im sure there's other cool shit
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I'm trying to pick a major that I would be the most interested in just because it would make my life so much easier and right now I have like three ideas and they all have a million problems
#like bioengineering. that sounds great right#id make good money with even just a bachelors degree#but i dont want to be stuck with that my whole life. that doesnt sound fun to me and engineering is supposed to be a miserable major#AND MINOR#and its a relatively new field so not a lot of places near me have it. and the places that DO have it are crazy expensive#i want to get a degree in linguistics because thats something that sounds fun to me. i would enjoy that#im good with english and language#but what can i really do with a linguistics degree? and im not good at learning other languages so i couldnt be an interpreter as much as i#would enjoy it#i kind of want to go for theatre tech stuff but. idk there arent really any buts but is that really realistic for me? i stopped doing tech#in freshman year because people were kind of mean. im a quitter and theyre not going to like that and i havent done anything related#in so long so really what are the chances i get accepted for that#how much do techs make anyways? i guess it doesnt have to be THEATRE tech i could do tech for anything#i know people who tech for bands make pretty good money and they have fun#i lied theres four#i could do geology something but thats broad and also the best school for it in the state is UF.#im NOT going to UF. i would rather die. its a personal grudge. also they suck and barely accept anybody even though the school SUCKS AND IT#SO EXPENSIVE FOR NO REASON#i wanted to do marine bio two years ago but theres soooo many problems with that. including ticks#I HATE TICKS#“but joel. isnt it MARINE science? there arent ticks in the ocean” YOURE WRONG. TICKS ARE EVERYWHERE. also marine bio has a lot to do with#marshes and there ARE ticks in marshes. and maritime hammocks where id be spending a lot of time. you would not believe the amount of ticks#ive gotten from my marine bio and environmental management classes. its so many. so many ticks
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i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.
#is this a bad time to mention i dont even believe in souls?#i really dk why.#no this isnt abt jiro somehow apparently having a loving family#(ok like. at least 1/4 of it is BUT STILL. NOT THE POINT)#(part of me feels awkward abt it bc just. huh? youre telling me. this guy. that i basically am the irl version of. has a loving family???)#(/j and all but just. idk part of me feels awkward now? it just. a guy who blew himself up for most of the same ideals i have)#(gets to have the one thing i yearn so very hard for. everyday of my life. but can never have.)#(ill get over this in like. 2 hours. hopefully. most of thats just shock anyways.)#just. for the past some days. besides a couple things and people. hurt and love havent really. made me feel much of anything#like being cared for by actual ppl even online. yeah. it still does but#even my fantasies don’t entertain me anymore#oh god am i becoming lopt. save me fuck#UNLESS this means i get mason as my bf. then hell fucking yeah (kidding kidding kIDDINGG i dont wanna be lopt. please.)#but srsly. usually i can envoke some sorta reaction from myself if its brutal enough#but. nothing.#id assume that im over doing it usually. but i havent in a good while#maybe this is some what where my art/writers block is coming from#whatever this hell is.#time to go on a spiral of mildly depressing and somewhat cryptic posts (cryptic if i didnt info dump in the tags that is)#why is it so hard to confront issues when you dont even know what the issue is?#i just. wanna be able to make myself feel something.#not in a “i have no one but myself” way for once. just. i dont wanna have to rely on others for my emotions#i want to feel a pang of hurt. yet it feels so empty. i dont want to harm myself. i just want to feel it.#anyways ig.#ig im gonna just sleep#which tbh im growing to hate bc like. i feel all i do is sleep. i sleep to avoid how much my own body hurts. i sleep to ignore my issues#i sleep to ignore the fact i keep forgetting to respond to people even though ik i have to at some point. i sleep to avoid the dread of not#getting anything done. i sleep just because im bored.#and im tired of sleeping.#but. it feels worse awake. my body hurts. my mind hurts. it all just hurts.
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Glittering Red Rose
Akira wasn't really expecting anything all that exciting from his trip outside of Shibuya, perhaps just the usual of walking around the streets and alleyways, finding new stores to shop at or even eavesdroppi— accidentally listening in on bystanders talking nearby. It was just the usual routine of killing time while waiting for the most anticipated day after stealing the treasure of their target, in this instance, waiting for the day Medjed “cleanses the world.” Although it wasn't Medjed that the Phantom Thieves of Hearts stole the treasure of. It was someone else, one who is more than skilled enough to stop such a large hacker group.
So here they are waiting for Futaba to recover, specifically here Akira is climbing the stairs of a random building he snuck into all while carrying a bag that has a cat poking his head out. It wasn't for any particular reason, aside from the fact that they heard a commotion nearby and wanted to have a better look only to be stopped by the overwhelming number of police officers surrounding the perimeter. So what other way to have a better view of the situation but on a tall building's rooftop?
“That was the first time I've seen so many cops around a single area, what do you think they were after?” Morgana tilted his head, curious and excitement evident in his voice.
“Hmm… Not sure.” Akira mumbled as he neared the top of the stairs.
“They must be even worse than a mafia boss like Kaneshiro. I bet if the Phantom Thieves stole the treasure of someone like that, our popularity will soar!”
Akira chuckled at the thought of that, their popularity were already steadily rising thanks to targeting an elusive mafia boss that even the police were struggling to capture, but if they targeted someone even worse than Kaneshiro, their fame will surely skyrocket then.
With that thought in mind, Akira's steps grew a bit lighter, excited to see exactly who was at the center of all those cops, he pushed the rooftop door open, it was already slightly ajar.
He wasn't really expecting anything all that exciting from his trip, he especially, wasn't expecting to see anyone eye-catching when he pushed that door. It was strange to see it already open, but perhaps an employee simply forgot to securely close it, or perhaps another person saw the commotion and had the same idea as Akira to enter a tall building to have a better view of it.
But instead, Akira stood frozen in place as he stared at the person standing near the edge of the roof. They had their back to him, wearing a white suit, a top hat, and a cape flowing in the wind. They held a small gem above their head, holding it up to the moon illuminating the scene from above. It felt magically, almost enough to take Akira's breath away, even Morgana made sure to stay silent as they watched the other person closely.
The few seconds that passed felt like minutes, the other person then glanced back, they wore a monocle on their right eye with their lips forming a proud smirk.
“I didn't expect to have an audience here.” The person spoke, it sounded like the voice of a boy, perhaps even the same age as Akira.
He walked towards them with a confident stride, as if the entire world was a stage, he was the star of the show, and Akira was merely an audience member randomly called to the stage.
The person stopped just inches in front of him, he bowed, one that is usually done by butlers, then with a simple flick of his wrist, a red rose appeared in his hand.
“Unfortunately, the show is already over. However, you're free to attend the next, whenever that may be.”
As if in a trance, Akira mindlessly reached for the rose as the other person walked by him. And as if breaking that a trance, Akira looked back, only thing to see the mysterious person had already disappeared.
“W-who was that?!” It was then that Morgana finally spoke, with his voice helping to completely bring Akira back to reality.
“R-right?!” He said in a rather confused panic, looking at the rose and back at where that person vanished.
“Hey, wait!” Morgana jumped on Akira's shoulder, “There's something sparkling in that rose!”
Akira closely inspected the flower, right at the middle of it is a small gem, the very same one that the other person held up to the moon. It was also then that the two heard some loud thundering noises seemingly getting closer to their location.
“Do you think that the cops from downstairs already found out about that guy being in this building?” Morgana quickly went back inside the bag, “Akira, this is bad! We gotta get out of here before they see us! Otherwise they might think we're the ones that stole that gem!”
Akira nodded, he planned on leaving the gem along with the rose on the rooftop but instead chose to leave only the gem after a moment's hesitation, keeping the rose for himself. It was a good thing, that he came here today.
#ariawrites#persona 5#akira kurusu#magic kaito#magic kaito 1412#kaitou kid#look i only ever managed to finish up till futaba's arc today so yea#also i didnt expect this to get this long yall i was expecting smth shorter#id like to apologize in advance that the first writing ive ever done in 2024 is a joker x kaitou kid (akira/ren x kaito) oneshot#it will unfortunately happen again#also like halfway into writing this i realized... i can only accurately write morgana yall but i was like... alrdy in too deep to stop#why only morgana? well idk either but writing morgana's dialogue in this was easier than writing kaito's which was the hardest one#i cant believe im starting my february with one of the rarest rarepairs there is#jokid
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20 years later, the mercury have not changed lmao
youtube
#phoenix mercury#i can't believe this guy doesn't have any storm merc games uploaded but w/e#it was a good game actually#the wild thing is that dt is like th 4th option for most of this game#and at season's end she was first in points first in stocks first in assists second in rebounds and first in field goals for the team#not everyone can be that person.......#obviously there is a different pace and style of play#also again it is wild that the merc shock and mystics all finished at .500 but the merc missed the playoffs#bc there were more teams in the western conference#that being said it is impressive as hell that they won the title the first time they made the playoffs since 2000#tamara moore is also interesting as a player bc she too is a guard but i feel like at least in this game#she moves so similarly to dt and she's wearing the knee socks and a bun#and they handle the ball similarly you know how dt loves to palm the ball moore does a similar thing#and dt has not changed the way she's moved in 20 years so it's not tough to id her#so penny's not in the game she's at an aus camp but in the july 5 game vs the sparks she and anna deforge are both in#and they are also very similar looking in 240p#plus penny as we know is 13 anna is 30 so they both have the 3#fun fact this is also the first tech of her wnba career#it's not a fun one tho#but you watch these early games and you see why she has to fight with the refs so much#Oh and another thing sometime between 2004 and 2024 the sparks changed the shade of yellow from a vibrant beautiful one#to something very ugly and pale. Pls change back. Yellow is so good when done well but is so easy to do poorly smh#Realizing they were in purple this game but yellow in the 7/5 game. Point still stands#and the old purples are better too league wide
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sudden itch to write a rare pair fic thats not Percy related
but like
the last time I did that it ended up becoming my top fic and lead to me deciding that you know... actually I hate that ship just out of spite so i'm not sure how good of an idea it is
maybe if i try like femslash or something super super rare with side characters or something
#using tumblr as a diary again#like is it healthy to feel that way?#no it's probably not but knowing that hasn't made the feeling go away in the months sense i posted it lol#like multiple people have asked for more for it but I'm ngl I'm likely never touching that ship again much less the fic itself#like if i even did decide to it would probably just be Percy and Viktor meeting#the whole reason it even became the ship it did was because I couldn't figure out how to write Viktor#But i don't think that's what people mean when they say they want more of it but maybe id be less annoyed if I did add a Percy/Viktor chapt#I feel like this is what those people mean when they talk about posting art you put your all into vs a doodle#because while i spent a hell of a long time procrastinating writing it i was never like actually happy with it#I just kinda wrote and posted it because I was running out of time and wanted to be done with it#which I think is part of why I find it annoying that it has like double the kudo's of everything else but it makes sense that it does#like it's a garbage fic yeah but its the main character and a fan favorite so ofc its going to get more attention#especially in comparison to the niche nonsense I make that I like more#will I ever delete it No I'm fire believer in not deleting things I've made because ive learned in my life i always regret it so#I just have to get better at writing so I can knock it off its horse >:)#or just keep adding extra chapters to Raspberry Muffin until it surpasses it lol#they only have a difference of 64 at the moment so its not impossible#I know im going to see this again in a few years and be so confused on why it bothered me so much i just know it lol
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not to be an annoying nob but ihave to boast about this im sorry .. i got a grade 9 for my english language exam 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈
#if youre not english and dont know what a grade 9 transaltes to its the highest grade you can get in gcse#its not the result of my gcse eng langauge i havent done them yet just an exam in school 🙈#anyway 🙈🙈🙈#being so annoying but i barely revised i thought id done so shit#still dont wwant to do eng langauge for a level though sticking wiht lit#i cant believe i did better on langage than literature thats so weird#i got an 8#i need to get a 9 next time#my teacher said that if shed been able to read my handwriting better shed have given me a higher score but like i literally dont care#whats better than a 9?? >0<#i got 71/80 🙈#okay sorry ill shut up#i cant be annoying about this w my friends though theyll smack me ..
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mr neils father pls compliment your son tell him he was amazing pls he was so good
#pls dont pull him out of school mr neils father pls im gonna throw up#MR PERRY WHAT DO U MEAN MAKE IT WORSE THAN IT IS#HE PULLED THE WINDOW UP HE COULDNT EVEN LET HIM SAY BYE TO HIS FRIENDS???#spooky liveblogs (kind of)#is that mrs perry mrs perry pls your son was happy on stage mr perry pls#he never asked his dad i knew it but id dirnt wanna believe it#AND BES WITHDRAWING HIM FROM SFHOKL I KNEW JT I DIDJT WANNA BELIEVE IT#MILITARY SCHOOL???? WHAT???#hes not gonna tell him its gonna go to shit im sick to my motherfreaking stomach poor neil#and he dies hes not dead yet but hes gonna die miserable#he was really good neil you were really good whole time i thought by some miracle mr perry liked the play#its not gonna be all alright bro#im shaking hes gonna kill himself i can feel it. i thought his death was a freak accident hes gonna end it#this is how it feels genuinely bro he killed himself with his fathers gun theres somethn poetic ab it#hes not alright your husband pushed him bro#thats todds roomate the dps leader oh my god bro i cant take it#i knew it was going to shit i didnt wanna believe it. the whole scene with the crown ans evrythint was beautiful#it was his father poor todd bro they were bffs he wouldnt have done it if his father wasnt like that#his father trapped him he freed himself with his father's weapon
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Ok actual real goal of my forever is to build a life where I'm doing so many things daily (or regularly) that support my mental health that I no longer need antidepressants. I know they're essential to me for the time being cause the alternative is - not something I want to talk about - but I think with the right, highly focused combination of habits I can support myself drug-free.
#for example#apparently with a certain (duration/frequency/intensity) of exercise you can equal or better the impact of antidepressants#i need to follow up cause i only saw this in a video by a licensed psych doctor but id like my own look at the evidence#plus there are a ton of things you can do (or not do) that demonstrably support your mental health when done (or avoided) with regularity#ive always know meds are essentially the pilot light of my coping/recovery but i always struggle with the follow thru#the aim is to use the springboard of medication to help build a lifestyle that truly supports and nourishes me to the point that its#self-sustaining#i do believe it's possible. i just havent landed on the right combo of help+effort yet#august talking#mental health
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I love my brothers so much i want to protect them all wasaaa
#.txt#i love my parents but i think they r harsh nd mean nd not self aware at all#my parents dont believe they were strict growing up#but my moms the same one who took my phone away for a while year bc i was depressed#my parents r the same ppl who didnt lwt me do anytbing growing up#i literally didnt ask them to do anything bc ik they wpuld say no#i was so paranoid in highschool i couldnt even enjoy my free periods without thinking id get in trouble from my dad#my parents are now being rly strict nd harsh to my youngest brother#nd im doing all i can to support him but its also hard bc the fee times i disagree w my parents they get mad#so ive leanred to keep my mouth shut nd talk to my brother privately about my support for him#u kno how messed up it is tht i cant side w my brother in front of my parents#i have a lot of trauma from my parents nd ive done A LOT to better myself so it makes me feel so bad seeing the same things happen to my bro#nd my other brother he is literally the poster child for traumatized kid nd its insane to me how my parents dont see it#he moved out the second he could nd hasnt been living back here since#my parents stress abt like oh why does he hate us blah blah blah its bc u guys r not nice 😭😭😭#like how r u not self aware omg kids turn out a certain way bc of the ppl who raised them come onnnnnnnn
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angry again. (wrist anger)
#I RLY CAN'T BELIEVE. i worried abt graduating#id rather write another thesis than what has been happening since#yeah blah blah neurodivergence. but in the end i pushed myself thru it but the dmg was done#i cld have pushed myself early and none of this wld have happened#been playing bg3 bc i figured it's easy enough on the wrist super slow pace but i hate it. i am so angry#I DON'T WANT TO PLAY RANDOM GAME BC MY WRIST SUCKS. I WANT TO DRAW AND WRITE AND BE MYSELF AGAIN#my japanese is so bad im gonna land in tokyo and kmys immediately. how can i face friends i made 5 yrs ago????#hi how have you been how's your life well you see i pissed it down the drain. i fucked it up. kill me#elia txts#vent post or what fucking ever i am sick of this#at BEST month in japan will be the rest i needed and i will be fine after but i don't believe that until i see it#more likely it's gonna be months. possibly years of this still#every day spent doing nothing but stretches and physio i want to put my head thru a wall. ok done goodnight
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i keep "based on your likes" on out of like, morbid curiosity about tumblrs shitass algorithm (i think it goes, i [tumblr user J] like a post by tumblr user A. tumblr user A likes posts by tumblr user B, tumblr user C, tumblr user D. tumblr user J gets shown all of tumblr user As likes. i must have liked a post by someone who only likes posts about religion because i am getting a steady stream of almost harrowingly (derogatory) christian posts.
#lots of. i love being at church i love learning about god stuff. get away from me im not christian i never want to be christian#i don't like that im prejudiced against anyone but I'm definitely produced#prejudiced against christians. yes even you the christian reading this. id love to apologise but christians are like 90% more likely to be a#massive asshole to me about who i am as a person. even the 'good ones' have told me like 'i believe that sinners will get a second chance#when they die to then finally take up the christian faith and get into heaven and if they truly dont want to then they can willingly go to#Hell. dont worry you will get another chance even though you are a sinner :)' like? get AWAY from me you have decided that i am evil and#condemned me for loving women and not being cis. anyway. i know logically that christians are on tumblr and that's like fine. your space too#but i do not want to see any christian propaganda messages in my fun online time please and thank you#(not to mention the huge amount of religious trauma my own father has. difficult not to hate a religion when theyve done That to a#family member lool) anyway if anyone sends me any pro christian asks im deleting them
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is this hashtag paranoia or do ppl not interact w me a lot on this blog in a visible way. like replies n asks n shit.
#mod posts#my brain wants to believe that ive done something to make ppl wary of being seen interacting w me#but idk how rational that actually is#the idea that im just naturally weird in a way that i cant tell but everyone else can has been on my mind a lot lately#like in general not just online way u know#im not sure which one id consider more likely. that im just naturally someone that ppl dont want to be seen with#or that ive said or done something shitty that make ppl avoid me n no ones telling me abt it#or that im just imagining it all bc im deeply narcissistic and need to be publically adored so i dont feel like the worst being on earth#just one of those nights ya feel
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sometimes i really wonder about this whole college thing
#big baby warning: im about to complain!#i want to like it and i want to do well and i need to do well#but things keep happening and it keeps getting harder#trust me i know it's challenging for everyone and i should feel lucky i even get to go#but it can be so lonely and sooo overbearing#it seems like no matter how hard i study i can't keep up with *all* my classes and something is always lacking#i genuinely *want* to do well believe me#im sort of just waiting to get to the good part where i actually get my english degree but im still stuck getting my prereqs#and im already so burnt out from high school#i just want#i think i just want to write my book and drink coffee and be happy#and im just struggling to have the motivation to finish this year#all i need to do is finish this year and it's so hard#and i don't want to complain but i just feel like crying sometimes#why do i feel the need to do so well at everything..?#im setting myself up for disaster#and i have to take a *summer course* too because i failed my first math class#i just wish that id done something differently idk#idk what that would have been but i feel like that's the answer#idk#im just tired#so is everyone tho#i just find college sort of#unfair?#there's no time to just be anymore#which is probably just life#i know i should be happy.... i just got hired at a job i actually like today!!!!#but is my learning really worth it if I never have the time to sink my teeth into it?#that's just how i feel rn#i can't wait to breathe and genuinely REST
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