#but i'm worried about the role AM will play in this conflict

[pkmn-monochrome]

This is an OOC ask too to hopefully help the concern? I PROMISE IM NOT A MANIPULATIVE ASSHOLE ABUSER IM A WRITER PLEASE DEAR GOD!!!!!!!! Also! Somebody's gotta play mean here and there, its what keeps gears turning. Not everyone is going to directly side with Cody and understand them. Sometimes you need conflict, it can't be sunshine and roses and everyone Agrees with Cody every time. And hell, without conflict like that, how are we going to get the moments like Cody seeing the auroras? I really loved that moment, it was sweet, sometimes the bad moments can make the good moments all the more fonder. Also I wanted to state... not every interaction that's a fight like that between two people is inherently abusive, people are going to have arguments and harsh words will be thrown along with accusations, especially since both see the other as strangers, some people aren't going to trust Cody and are going to be harsh and rude about it the same way Cody has been. Some are going to mirror how Cody treats them. What I was going for was Directly Vindictive and Harsh, the fact that you are worried about that shows that I did my job right, and as they said, if Sparks couldn't handle I would hope they would just ignore the ask and hell maybe even say to tone it down. TDLR: Not everyone is going to be especially kind and endeared to Cody, some people are going to act out just the same as they do. AND I AM A WRITER NOT AN ABUSER. PLEASE. The point of this ask is uh: I like to think I know my limits, I stick to the rules and only do what is allowed. It doesn't feel too great being compared to an abuser when I am just trying to help move a story forward. I am not abusive for being mean to a fictional character, and I am in no way attempting to be mean to Sparks when I do so. Sorry about the Novel, I just wanted to help clear some things up, because this has happened before with one of my purposefully persecutory asks and hoo boy! it doesn't feel too great that it's happening again. I promise I am not trying to hurt Sparks. I just like conflict in stories and how the characters react to such conflicts. Okay, I'm done, Sorry again about the novel sparks just wanted to explain for the people that got worried about my asks.

[Agreed. Abusive asks are what keep this blog's ball rolling. Without them, we never would have met PIKACHU, BLASTOISE, or even found out about the hacker's death. While CODY's abuse was not necessary in-universe, it was necessary from a narrative standpoint.]

[I do not believe the words or fictional actions of an asker directly reflect them as a person. Even if an asker plays the fictional role of an abuser, like as ANONYMOUS did (e.g. threatening to kill CODY, then getting angry/offended at CODY for taking that death threat seriously), I do not believe that reflects upon their morals in real life scenarios. Threatening to kill a fictional character, in a fictional roleplay scenario, does not mean that asker would ever do or say something like that to a real person. And if this asker was actually holding CODY in their hands in real life, I do not believe they would be saying such intense or harsh things to them.]

[And the inverse is true as well. Just because I am the author of PKMN-MONOCHROME, that does not mean I morally approve of everything CODY says or does. Sometimes, CODY will say harsh and confrontational things out of paranoia or pride, but that does not mean that I as the author would personally lash out at and attack my audience in the same way. If any asker of mine feels personally attacked by the things that CODY says to you, please know and remember that CODY does not speak for me, and their thoughts are not always my own.]

[Please know that I as an author never intend to hurt my audience with CODY's words/actions, and that I trust my audience to do the same for me when sending CODY their questions. Thank you.]

[brettanomycroft]

incredibly intrigued by your sam thoughts give me more

hooooohohohohohoh *rubs together grubby little raccoon paws*

I am excited to answer this and also don't know how much more I'll be able to say about Sam that I haven't already discussed here and here (though danged if I'm not going to try!)

Something that I think is central to understanding how my brain thinks about Sam is the way I think about Gwen; more specifically-

(Gwen and Sam from @boonsandwhatever 's amazing art, found here)

While I don't truly think they're the exact same character, I believe that what we've seen of them so far suggests that we are looking at two characters who, in their heart of hearts, are very similar in terms of their inner selves and motivations, but who are nonetheless being set up to walk two very different paths.

So how are they similar? We've seen so far that Gwen and Sam are both

goal-oriented

hardworking

stubborn

temperamental (Sam less openly, but it's there)

petty (not as obviously as Alice, but it's soooo there)

curious

seeking validation for their work/pursuits/questions

not in the career/field they had aspired to be in

under tremendous pressure from their families (Gwen's has not been directly addressed, but what we know of the Bouchards and and Gwen's comments about her 'friend' circles seems to suggest this)

driven (Gwen towards power/recognition, Sam towards understanding - both of these tie into that need for validation)

barely holding it together

more sensitive to teasing than they let on

imposter syndrome? (this one may actually be a stretch but all of the above similarities strongly suggest this one)

Of all of the above traits, "curious" and "seeking validation" are the two that I feel are Sam and Gwen's strongest motivators right now - and were also the source of their conflict in episode 18. They are, of course, pursuing answers to their own questions without realizing that, in this case, they are the ants seeing separate parts of the massive and horrible mystery that is pushing into their lives.

Sam's path has him looking out as he seeks to learn more about The Magnus Institute and about the catalysts and victims of the cases they get at the OIAR. Gwen's path has her looking up, as she questions the role the OIAR plays within the government/society, how it is structured and managed, and what employing literal monsters has to do with it all.

In an ideal world, Sam and Gwen would team up to be like the supernatural Wonder Twins. If they're able to see past their misunderstandings and the walls they've put up, I think they could actually get a lot done - but I worry that their insecurities, ambitions, and lack of validation at the right times/in the right places will push them further away from the best possible allies they have: each other.

(If you're fanfiction inclined, I've actually explored some of these team/friendship dynamics in my fic "Pieces of You." Part 2 continues to explore how Sam and Gwen interact when they are seemingly in opposition)

I do think there is a very good chance that both Sam and Gwen end up in difficult, morally challenging, or outright evil situations as a result of their need for understanding, recognition, and validation. I've seen a lot of folks suggesting that Sam could become "avatar-ized" or willingly take on The Powers of the Horrors in order to finally "live up to the potential" that he perceives himself as having been denied when he was rejected from The Magnus Institute. As for Gwen, I think (hope, pray) that her own insecurities and need to prove herself could lead her right into the claws of Lady Mowbray, someone that she has already defended in front of Lena simply for being of a higher echelon, and who has already given Gwen a level of recognition that she did not expect but clearly craves (when Lady M asks about her family line). Of course I would be tickled pink if they both got over themselves, communicated, and worked together to overcome (or at least understand) The Horrors!

Anyway, I know this ended up being more of a Sam and Gwen rant, but I hope you enjoyed, and thanks again for asking!

[jyndor]

oh my god

a show written by white us americans for us american kids, while often spot on with its anti-imperialism, is not actually the end all be all for how occupied and marginalized peoples can respond to their oppression and genocide. weirdo.

full disclosure I have my problems with the portrayals of jet and hama for this exact reason that i have previously written about here. because ultimately the gaang represent "good" resistance - mostly defensive/nonviolent. jet represents "bad" resistance, namely violent property damage that would have caused civilian casualties if sokka hadn't warned them. and hama, who thanking this op didn't bring up, is supposed to show how trauma can make a person do terrible things but really it just feels like a racist, misogynistic way to both sides colonialism and imperialism.

now unless I'm misremembering the story (I am not) that episode took place in the earth kingdom. why were those innocent fire nation civilians so close to the valley that jet was trying to protect? why was he worried about them encroaching on that valley enough to destroy the dam?

because they were settlers. the fire nation was trying to defeat and occupy the entire world, of course their settlers weren't just innocent civilians, they played a role like all settlers do in all conflicts. and jet and his freedom fighters were all displaced by the fire nation. they were refugees.

in the end, the gaang may have their problems with jet's tactics but they still mourn him and understand that he is RESISTING oppression, and not that he is the same as his oppressor.

katara is UNIQUELY empathetic and decent at times. during the painted lady, she makes it clear that she wants the liberation of ALL - including her oppressors who are also victimized by fire nation imperialism (and capitalism lbr). she sees the class dynamics in the fire nation, sees how they harm the villagers of jang hui. how the military industrial complex poisons fire nation citizens - literally. the problem is that they are happy to take her help when they think she is one of them, but when she reveals herself to be a waterbender, they turn away from her in their racist, xenophobic disgust.

the truth is that katara's form of universal liberatory politics is just one form of resistance against oppression. sometimes atla veers into making it seem like the only acceptable form of resistance, which is quite convenient for the white us americans who wrote the show.

one of atla's main ideas is that imperialism harms everyone, including the beneficiaries of imperialism. it was also written in the early to mid 2000s during the so-called war on terrorism, and with a us american audience in mind. so no I am not surprised that jet isn't seen in a totally positive light, nor am I surprised that the fire nation is occasionally presented in a "not all fire nation" way. it still posits that those innocent civilians are racist/colonizers and frankly complicit in many ways for what the fire nation is doing abroad.

this is why jet isn't a villain, he's just a complicated character. why he is made a martyr. why katara mourns him even if she's angry with him.

as for whether or not katara would condemn hamas... I'm not sure it matters. movements regularly have infighting and disagreements on tactics. even so, atla is a TV show. palestine is a real place with real people who have tried all kinds of forms of resistance. nothing is ever good enough for supporters of the settler colonial project of israel because the point is never, ever to live together in peace. two state solution? where do you see that in atla? if ANYTHING the show calls for pluralism and freedom of movement for all. for an end to nation states and nationalism, as well as preservation of all cultures. liberation for all.

I can't speak to the mess of the comics or lok because I don't care about those but if we're just talking about atla... come on. it's free palestine.

also nice false equivalency between the free palestine movement as a whole and hamas, which is just one part of the movement. racist dipshit genocide apologist.

[luniidae]

~ Too Familiar ~

Chapter VII

TW: +18. Hi everyone ! This chapter is certainly the longest I've written, but it is also about a sensitive subject you can, I think, guess just by looking at the illustration (and "don't worry", it's not about Raphael himself). 

I just wanted to say that this event isn't only here for drama, this is mainly the metaphor of a brutal transition from childhood to adulthood, like a bubble of peace suddenly bursted to bring the character to a reality she never really knew, bringing many conflicted feelings.

Anyway, "enjoy" !

_________________________________________

"I'M NOT YOURS TO USE !", she shouted.

Raphael's eyes darkened and he seized her chin, pressing his claws into her cheeks. For a moment, she thought he would eventually ripe her jaw off. 

"You ARE mine, little mouse. Do you really think that your presence here has no purpose ? Do you think I was feeling lonely so I asked Korilla to find a random child to give me company ? Of course not.... You are here for a reason, and it has nothing to do with your damn horns. You are here because I want it, because I tolerate it !"

She was staring at him, holding his forearm. His eyes... It felt like his piercing eyes were looking right into her soul. She could sense his grip getting tighter on her face. It hurt.

"Fath..."

"I am NOT your father !", he interrupted her.

Suddenly, she felt her heart stop, break, then falling into pieces. It was like a burning blade had just pierce her chest. Of course he wasn't her father, she knew that, but she couldn't help but love him as such.... She looked at him, her eyes full of sadness and disbelief. 

"Look at you... Crying like a baby", he said, his gaze becoming less hateful but withering, "You are so sensitive. You try to play the role of the rebellious youth, but you are nothing but a frightened child, weak, and seeking for attention and love"

Luvia couldn't believe her own ears. She didn't want to. That was even more painful that all the horns which had been taken from her during those last 7 years. She was so hurt that she spoke without thinking. 

"That's not true ! I am NOT a child anymore !", she screamed, "I HATE YOU !"

She didn't mean it at all of course, but that is all which came out of her mouth at this very moment. She didn't know her heart could hurt so much, it was so painful she could barely add anything else. Anyways, she wouldn't have the time to, as Raphael tightened his grip again and frowned, evidently upset, and the heat of his hand seemed to have increased. For a second or two, she thought having seen a glint of something in his eyes. But she couldn't tell if it was sadness or disappointment, or both, or just her imagination...

"Is that so ? Fine !", he declared bitterly.

At those words, he took Luvia with him across the corridors. She couldn't help but follow him, as he was holding the back of her neck. It felt like he could break it anytime. She couldn't ask where they were going, or what he was about to do, but she was frightened. Really frightened. She never spoke to him like that before, and she didn't think she would have been capable of such thing. 

Anyways, she wouldn't have to wait too long to know where he was leading her.

The Boudoir...

Luvia never came here, she had not the right to. Raphael had always been clear about that, but she never knew why. Also, she was surprised to see Hope's projection suddenly appear, panicked.

"RAPHAEL, STOP ! What are you doing ?! She's but a child, she .." 

"ENOUGH ! I'm done with you too !", he growled. 

"You MONSTER !", she said before he made her disappear in a simple gesture, interrupting her. 

He then threw Luvia on the floor unceremoniously. 

"As for you...", he looked at her with a mix of contempt and smug look, "If you are so eager to play bigger roles than yours, then so be it", and he snapped his fingers.

The young girl covered her head with her arms, expecting him to turn her into a lemure or ashes. But nothing of such happened....

"That's better", he simply said. 

Luvia remembered this tone well, those words.... "That's better". That was what he had said to her when he met her and gave her new clothes, that was what he had said the day she became a resident of the House of Hope, when he became a father figure to her, her protector, her saviour. She opened her eyes and  looked at Raphael who was staring at her from his height.

"What did you ... ?", she interrupted herself and her eyes widened, an expression of terror slowly taking over her face. She didn't fully recognize her own voice. It was hers, of course, but... Slightly different. More mature, less acute. She touched her throat as if there was a problem with it. But then she saw her hands... Thin as usual, but a little bit bigger, just like the rest of her body.

She had that strange feeling to look at something unknown but familiar at the same time. 

There was a kind of very large bathtub a little further and she crawled until it to check her reflection in the water. She felt her heart racing faster as she looked at herself. Or... Her older self. 

She now looked like she was in her twenties. She turned back to Raphael. 

"What is that ?!", she shouted, desperately trying to understand.

"What you asked for, Luvia", he answered calmly, "You wanted to prove that you were mature enough, now you won't have to pretend anymore".

"What ? No... That's not -"

"Needless to thank me", he said with a little bow, "The pleasure is mine.... Of course. Maybe next time you'll think twice before forgetting what is your place".

Luvia couldn't determine if he was sincere or not. Did he really have no compassion for her ? Not even a bit ?

"Do not worry, I'll be back later. Tomorrow perhaps. Meanwhile, I am sure you'll get along with your .... Temporary roommate", he said before turning on his heels and getting out of the room. 

The magic barrier which usually prevented anyone to enter appeared after him. Luvia begged for his mercy and she threw herself on the semi-transparent and shining thing, beating it, hoping it would open. But she knew it wouldn't... It never had for her before, and it never will until Raphael's back. 

"Father... ? Father ! Please ! PLEASE, FATHER ! LET ME OUT ! Don't leave me... I'm so sorry, please ! Don't...."

Luvia was screaming and sobbing so loud that it would have been hard for the other "residents" to not hear her. Even through the barrier. She looked for a way to deactivate it, even if she knew that was hopeless. And about Hope... Why did she look so terrified earlier ? What was the matter with this place anyway ? Luvia couldn't find out now, she was too busy trying to make the barrier disappear. But eventually she stopped, out of force.

Once she calmed herself down a bit, Luvia looked around her. The room was like the others: huge, luxurious and well decorated. There was this sort of pool in the middle, surrounded by cushions and plates full of fruits. She took a step forward, looking for something to do. She didn't understand why Raphael had locked her in here, also, she needed a new outfit, because the one she had on her was now too small and it was no longer comfortable.

While she was taking a closer look to the wardrobes, finding and puting on a proper clothes to fit her new shape, she suddenly heard something that made her jump. 

"My my, what have we here ?", said a mysterious yet familiar voice.

Too familiar, she thought. 

"I knew that Raphael could bring me surprises from time to time, but I wouldn't have expected it was you, little mouse". 

She turned around to see who was speaking to her. She was so nervous she could hear her heartbeats in her ears, but she wasn't prepared at all for what she was about to see. 

Before her stood a cambion in an... Unusual outfit. The worst part was that their face was too familiar to her. Luvia instinctively screamed and hide her eyes, she didn't want to see more. The devil chuckled at her reaction.

"Oh do not worry, I am not Raphael", they spoke with a charming tone while approaching her, like a predator sneaking to its prey,"I am far more better than that...".

Even if she couldn't see anything, she took a few steps backwards. They were now very close to her and slowly removed her hands from her face. Her back against the wall, she was now facing them but her eyes remained closed in a nervous expression. 

"Tsk-tsk-tsk.... Come on, little mouse. I can't believe you don't even dare to look at me. Am I this intimidating ?" 

They brought one of their hands to her face, caressing her cheek with their fingertips. They could smell her fear, sense her body shiver, and they loved that.

Luvia slowly opened her eyes and they caught her chin, forcing her to look at their face while they were examining hers.

"Raphael.... What a secretive little brat. He never told me how beautiful you were. Very naughty from him to keep you just for himself....."

The newly-young woman couldn't look at anything else but their eyes. Piercing, intense, just like -.... She didn't want to think about it. But the resemblance was too obvious to be ignored. 

"I....... I suppose you are... The roommate He talked to me about earlier..", she managed to say, still confused and trying, in vain, to look in another direction. Of course it was them... 

"Roommate ? Ha !", they laughed before adding with a vicious grin, "....... Yeah"

They took a few seconds to look at her face again.

"But let me introduce myself: I am Haarlep. Raphael's personal incubus, glamoured to look just like him". They made a little "ta-da" pose. 

"It seems so...", she answered. 

She could have die right here and right now if that would have been the only way to escape the situation. But she couldn't.... It was like a living nightmare and she didn't know what to do to get out of here. Luvia didn't know anything about incubuses, and she wondered why Raphael was keeping this creature here, how she could have never seen them in 8 years. And why they were.... Like that. 

If she couldn't find answers to these questions, she could now understand why she didn't have the right to come here before. 

The vision of the cambion made her feel incredibly uncomfortable, which made Haarlep smile wider.

They softly rubbed her chin with their right hand's index and thumb.

"You seem so nervous, my sweet. So fragile, so innocent, so ...", they got near her neck and took a deep breath, "... Virginal", and their eyes shone with a malicious shine, "My favorite". The creature suddenly seemed excited.

"P.. Please, just let me go... I don't want to be here", Luvia said with a trembling voice. 

"Really ? Oh I'm hurt.... Because I do enjoy your company, you know... And I'm sure you will enjoy mine very soon."

While they were speaking, their eyes were examining her from head to toe, their left hand was on her shoulder, caressing the delicate fabric of her clothes between their fingers. The other though was slowly sneaking along her neck from her chin to the start of her breast, while the heat emanating from them increased. But Luvia couldn't handle it. They were too close, too tactile, too familiar, too..... Too much. She quickly sneaked under Haarlep's arm in an attempt to escape. But.....

"There is not way out, little mouse",  they shouted at her as she was running away from them. 

And they were right, there was nowhere to go. The entrance was closed, and she couldn't jump above the balcony.... Or maybe she could ? She wanted to escape so bad she was ready to try anything, no matter if she had to break a few bones in the process. 

She started to climb over the structure, but while she was about to fall into the void of the Avernus, she heard the sound of a wing clap and felt something grips her waist, bringing her back inside.

"Let me go !", Luvia was trying to break free from Haarlep's embrace. But the incubus had no intention to do so. By the way, they were too strong for her and were amused by all of her vain efforts.

"How fierce you are", they giggled, amused, "I pretty much like a little entertainment. And to see you resisting is... Delectable"

"Listen here, devil, I'm not an object you can take and move wherever you want. Put me down, RIGHT NOW.", she growled, beating their forearms.

"Aw, how cute. You speak just like Him. But know that I can take whatever Raphael gives me", then they whispered in her ear, "And I'll take a great pleasure in breaking you, my dear". 

Her eyes widened. Even if Luvia had not a lot of knowledge about "certain things", she wasn't that naive. Especially when she could sense their body tenses against hers, and their warm breath quicken on her skin.

She started to panick.

"Please let me go ! I'm not.... I'm not what you think !", she shouted.

"Don't worry, pet. This body suits you better anyway"

What ? They knew ? Luvia looked horrified.

They chuckled softly, "Did you think I've never seen you before ? Of course I did. Only from afar, alas."

Once they got close enough to the one and only bed of the room, a large and fancy crimson one, they threw her on it, firmly holding her wrists, no matter how hard she protested. 

"I do love hunting, you know. Unfortunately, this room is not big enough for such games, it would get boring very quickly. And to be honest, I don't want to let my plaything go now I caught it. By the way, nice to finally meet you, Luvia. Raphael talked to me a lot about you".

The young "woman" stopped moving but didn't answer. She was doing her best to not pass out due to the stress. Haarlep had for a moment an interrogative look on their face.

"I wonder what could have happened... Is that you who sent the House on fire ? Or did you step on Raphael's tail ? No because I'm trying to understand, as he always forbidden me to touch you, no matter what. Really, it almost scared me. I thought for a moment he went sentimental"

They took a few seconds to observe Luvia's reaction, as they seemed to enjoy the situation. She seemed lost in her thoughts, considering Haarlep's words.

Raphael didn't want her to be in this room, and he didn't want Haarlep to make her any harm in any way... Did he want to... Protect her ? Did he actually care for her ? Or was it for his personal purpose only ? The incubus broke the train of her thoughts, their face close to her ear, whispering...

"It seemed he changed his mind, though"

Those words were more painful than she could have thought. She asked Haarlep to let her go once more, but they laughed.

"Oh no, little mouse... I guess he put you here for a reason, to teach you a lesson.... And who am I to avoid my responsibilities towards you ?", they said ironically.

They locked their eyes on hers, staring at her intensely, which made her feel like a little animal caught in a trap. 

"Don't look at me like that", she said.

"Like what, dear ?"

"Like a piece of meat"

"Oh little mouse...", they put a knee between hers to spread her legs and sneak in-between, she held her breath, "All I see is a beautiful young woman who crave attention and love... Who crave my touch".

Attention and love.... She blushed so much... There was something strange and bewitching about this creature. It made her sick. The incubus grinned, satisfied of the effect they had on her. 

A burning whirlwind wrapped her and her clothes disappeared in the flames (without burning her), which made her tense. She wanted to hide herself, to run away, to disappear... But the devil were still holding her. 

"Just give in... And you'll enjoy yourself more", they said with a seductive voice.

"No no no no... !".

Haarlep kissed her while she started to fight back. Luvia's mind screamed in terror but she was hit by a flow of pure and contradictory emotions, since incubus saliva had the power to provide a strong connection with their victims. That was intense and soft at the same time, scary but comforting, embarrassing but agreeable. She couldn't tell how she felt exactly since it didn't seem natural anyway. Her body was like burning as they got closer, realizing their clothes were gone as well. They deepened the kiss, playing with her tongue. That was as weird as it was sensual. 

Also, she could sense something getting quickly wet between her legs. It was embarrassing, and Haarlep's right hand was running along her body to reach this very sensitive spot. She wanted to stop them, to catch their hand, but she gasped at their touch. 

"Oooh... Sounds like your body was already in the mood to receive me... I'm flattered"

Her eyes widened, this wasn't at all what she wanted.. Or maybe it was ? No, it wasn't. She was afraid of them, so why she was doubting ? 

"No ! This is not - ", she stopped, sensing something else against her inner thigh. Something bigger. She  tensed at this unwelcomed touch and tried to close her legs, but she couldn't since Haarlep was there. Their gaze never left hers. 

"Oh, you want me to get closer ?", they asked with a teasing look, sensing her legs against their hips. 

"NO ! Get away from me !", Luvia shooked her head.

They caressed her hair with their left hand, "Needless to resist, pet, I'll be very gentle for this first time. I'm not a monster, you know... And to be honest, that makes the whole thing even more thrilling ", they giggled. 

Tears were coming to her eyes while they were pressing the head of their member against her entrance, until it eventually got inside... 

That was painful, but Luvia moaned despite herself, being overwhelmed by an intense emotion at each of their movements. She wanted them to stop, she wanted them to leave her alone. She wanted to get out of here and never come back to this horrible place.

She covered her mouth with her hands to stop her from making any more sounds, but Haarlep removed them. 

"Oh no, sweetheart. Your cries sound like music to my ears, and I would be disappointed to not hear you screaming my name, again... And again.... And again"

They insisted on those last words giving bigger thrusts at each of them. 

They pressed their forehead to hers, looking straight into her eyes.

"You ARE mine, little mouse"

To be continued...

[gayuu-the-necromancer]

William Rex Route Review

Okay~ Finally, I sat down and completed William's route today morning.....till 4 am. Yes, I have no life and my opinion is....it's kinda good! Honestly, a part of me was expecting it would be a snoozefest and another part of me was like 'Don't worry, it's gonna be fine. You'll love it!"

Usually when I play an Otome game, if the game doesn't manage to impress me within the first 30 minutes, I'll just immediately uninstall it and would never download it ever again. But I have a soft corner for the Ikemen series because their games really fill up my lonely heart....anyways. I'm not gonna sit here and compare Ikemen series with Voltage games or anything. We'll only compare ikemen games with other ikemen games!

I thought that Ikegen was gonna be my fav game forever and I used to think I wouldn't love another game and its characters as much as I love Ikegen. I mean look at Yoshino, for example! Do you really think any MCs could ever beat her? She's honestly the best thing to come out of Cybird and very thankful to them that I finally got an MC I could truly love!! Since Ikegen set the bar up really high, I was hoping the next upcoming game to be even better or at least the same as Ikegen........and then we got something that I don't even wanna talk about :/

So I was skeptical about the projects after that and then we got the news about Koihana. It got me interested, but it wasn't exactly a game in the 'Ikemen series'. There is no 'ikemen' in the title. Not that I won't play, I will when it comes out when I have time. After that out of nowhere, they dropped the teaser for Ikevil and I was SHOCKED!! because I was expecting a teaser of Koihana that day. I was honestly shocked that we're actually getting two new games for the 10th anniversary. The bgm in the teaser was so good (but too bad they didn't use that bgm even once in the whole game!) and I got intrigued about the characters, how they are gonna look, the MC, what's the story about, whose the artist, MC's role blah blah blah etc etc...I was super hyped.

Then the game came out and I played. Like I said, if the game doesn't impress me within the first 30 mins, I was gonna immediately uninstall it, because what's the point in playing if you're not gonna enjoy it, right? I need that 'first impression' to be the best impression! Honestly, I wasn't expecting a gore scene IN the prologue. I thought the prologue would be nice, calming, and maybe a little bit violence here and there...BUT NO! They didn't hold back at all and I LOVED IT! It got me really excited.

I started with William's route because I was planning to translate it and was expecting a lot more gore. William's route is good..................if you can sit through at least 15 chapters without sleeping, then I guarantee you that you will enjoy it. This is also coming from a person whose fav type is not William. Let me divide William's main story into two parts, without giving as many spoilers as possible. The first 1 to 3 chapters are okay. It just gives basic info about William, his personality, and other characters....simply basic stuff. The chapters from 4 to 14, are basically filled with William and his friends doing various missions and William helping Kate to be honest with her desires. It's mainly the bonding stage and I wasn't really into it because I felt like nothing was happening. Even William and Kate's interactions were alright, didn't get me that excited at all.

The story was moving really slowly and it felt like a lot was happening but I wasn't finding anything exciting. There was no 'real' conflict for example, there is no enemy that is terrorizing the Crown. The Crown members look severely overpowered and they are killing all the butterflies without breaking a sweat. The Crown members having these abilities as the 'cursed ones' is honestly very op if you use it in the right way at the right time. There is not much hand-to-hand combat which I personally love watching and translating. But I also love that they are all working together on these missions in groups. It's not like each member is assigned a different mission. All the members have faith in each other and help out each other when doing missions. No egos are clashing, no unnecessary fights, I love that about Crown, even though they all state that they are not friends.

So In between I was thinking...."What's the real threat here? What is Kate's role? Is her role only going to be just standing around and watching people die? Because if it is, then it's very boring."

It was only after chapter 18, that I really ended up liking William's route. William after chapter 18, is one hell of a badass character. There is this certain scene in chap 19 that I really love and it really caught me off guard for a second. There are some lines said by him that I really love. I can't wait to translate that chap and the madness ending. Also, William and Kate's relationship gets really fun. It's cuter and William keeps teasing her whenever he gets a chance (reminds me of a certain other King with black hair and blue eyes who is also cursed!).

The route has some gore and creepy scenes which are really good in showing how horrifying the world actually is. There is no filter. It feels like no one is safe. I don't even know why because at some point, I thought that there is going to be a scene where Kate is also gonna be injected with drugs. I don't know why I thought something like that, maybe in the future, some golden butterfly member will kidnap and inject drugs into her or something to mess up with the male lead's mind....who knows? But it feels like Cybird is not holding back with this one.

Now, coming to Kate. As an MC, I think she's good. She's very nice, caring, understanding, and possessive (lol). I like her a lot. I feel like out of all the Ikemen series MCs, Kate is the only one that has some sort of character development. She goes from being this shy and reserved person to more lively and talkative. It's kinda cute. She gets more bold in the latter half and doesn't shy away from expressing what she wants to do. I like that. Thank god, cybird didn't end up ruining her character in an attempt to make her look pure-hearted. The only, drawback I have with her is her job as a 'fairy tale master'. Honestly, it's such a.....meh job for some reason. She doesn't really get to do much, she only has to stand at the side and watch the male leads mutilating people. It's kind of boring because she has no real goal in life. I thought her job was to find a way to break the curses of the Crown members but no, she simply writes reports that are to be submitted to the Queen. *Sighs* it's fine, I still like her though and I hope her personality doesn't change once I switch routes, or else I will be mad.

Final thoughts, not bad as the first route. I mean it's still the 'first route' and I'm sure the future routes will be crazier....especially Jude's route (I hope I don't die before that!). I feel like his route is going to be before Victor. But still, William's route did a good job in making me wanna continue playing this game, so that's a plus for me. If not, I would have uninstalled it immediately, waited for Jude route, and re-install it then.

I was thinking to start Harry's route next (not translating that btw!) but I'm restarting William's route again to get the other ending not because I'm poor and saving up gold for Harry's route, pfffttt not at all!

[aotopmha]

I thought about talking about Dawntrail in detail only once I'm done with it, but I just finished the level 91 dungeon and the corresponding cutscenes some of the vitriol I've seen for the story is so bizzare.

Spoilers for up to the end of the level 91 dungeon!

I absolutely love that Wuk is having such a gradual arc.

The very first encounter of the level 91 quests was great and it was just a conversation where she gains some self-awareness about her own feelings via someone else going through the same. And before then, in the previous areas, she just learned about her limits. About her lack of knowledge and skill.

I saw so much vitriol thrown at the other candidates, as well, where all I see is just a gradual pushing of the curtain.

Every appearance they have is just a little bit more of hinting at their relationship with Wuk and relationships and principles of their own.

I don't know if it is paid off, but to me it comes off as neat set-up and mystery; there are some pretty interesting nuggets with Zoraal Ja in particular to me because his demeanor and his goal contrasting.

It's the contrast and juxtaposition of all of these perspectives I'm interested in the most.

I also love that the Warrior of Light is taking on a mentor role. I didn't even fully think about it, but that's a pretty perfect role for them at this point.

And I like the friendly rivalry angle with the other Scions because I was thinking it would be odd for Urianger in particular to suddenly start being secretive again when his entire arc was about not being secretive anymore. I like that they approach the other group while still having their own principles at play.

And I'm so happy they pulled back the stakes after Shadowbringers and Endwalker, rather than trying to one-up them, since they did want to continue the story and all.

It's so rare to see this kind of restraint with longer stories especially.

Lower-stakes conflicts and character arcs can exist and I like how they are doing it here.

Learning to not fear Alpacas because of a bad experience or learning about the customs of a culture is just as much of a valid moment of growth as coming to terms with the death of a loved one.

It still makes the point about learning to respect and understand what you don't.

The Azim Steppe was about this in spirit, too, and I still think it is the best part of Stormblood. And these two lil stories are good examples of it.

In terms of true issues I have with the story so far, I think the Pelupelu area dragged on just a smidge too long, but that's it.

Do I think this is some mindblowing, revolutionary character writing?

No.

Do I see how it all could come together into something really good in the bigger picture?

Yes, very much. Especially with the tone shift in the second half.

And a lot of these characters are PoC-coded (with PoC English VAs), too.

That's a really cool bonus in my eyes!

The really strong hatred, I do not get at all.

I'm willing to bet Wuk's journey is going to be full of failure and that's where the true vitriol comes from.

(Her voice actress is also a trans woman with a "non-traditional" accent.)

She will not immediately get herself together and will be sad and self-depricating and will get seasick again and people will be mad about it because she said she won't be anymore after she got some worries off her chest.

You do not suddenly start doing better when you just say it. That's not how people work. It's a process and I am expecting one. Because getting rid of preconceptions, prejudices and a unhealthy need for validation because of messy family matters is a process.

So, I don't agree with the super extreme takes at all. It's so funny that I spent like 5 hours playing the game and having fun and then I go on social media and some act like this innocous adventure story about learning to understand and respect other cultures that drags a lil is the worst thing to ever exist.

I mean I hope everyone who hates it will get a better story in the patches or next expac or outside of FF14.

But I've seen so many and much worse stories than this so far.

[frasier-crane-style]

Wonder Woman: Dead Earth

Spoilers

The good: I liked the way this story was executed. Diana's characterization initially was very good: she's merciful, compassionate, loving. Art's good, plot is well-paced, they go pretty deep into Amazon lore instead of a more general DCU stuff--there's no other superheroes aside from Superman and Batman. I liked the new origin DWJ came up for Diana, which adds a Prometheus twist to Diana's existence which for me played well better than "she's Zeus's daughter" and dare I say improves on Perez's girlpower origin.

The bad: I'm so conflicted on how the story develops, because it gets very Zach Snyder. Diana turns out to be eminently corrupt, guilt-ridden, and brooding. The Amazons themselves are massively villainous. Wondy herself is largely responsible for destroying the world. Yeah, there are extenuating circumstances and sympathetic reasons--Diana going bee-zerk with her bracelets removed makes a reappearance from pre-Crisis continuity and really confuses the issue by making her not totally aware of her actions (so was she essentially brainwashed for all that? Should she not feel guilty? Why remove her agency, or put that agency on Hippolyta for telling her to do something she didn't/couldn't know the consequences of?). But the endgame of all of it seems to be to make Diana as broody as Batman, if not more so, and even in an AU... why? Maybe it's me, but I'm a bit sick of these tropes being overused: the Waynes being evil, Krypton being evil, evil Superman... seeing them applied to Wonder Woman doesn't do much to freshen them up.

The weird: Bulletpoints suddenly go!

*The usual role of Phillipus (Diana's trainer, Hippolyta's hard-edged general) goes to Nubia for some reason. I guess because DC was pushing her, but it just makes me feel like she has no real identity of her own if she's getting slotted into Phillipus's role just for the sake of it. And the Wonder Woman movie didn't include Phil either! What, is the bald black lady just too Black Panthery now?

*For a post-apocalyptic world where people have to walk everywhere, everyone sure is able to get from Gotham City to the Fortress of Solitude to Paradise Island in a hurry.

*It's implied/stated that the reason for the conflict is the Amazons worrying that global warming will flood Paradise Island like in Waterworld. I suppose I shouldn't complain about pseudoscience in a comic book, but melting icecaps would only rise the sea level two hundred feet. Inconvenient, certainly, but that's just about the height of one of those cliffs Amazons are always dramatically diving off of. Even if it screwed the rest of the world, well, since when have they been shown to care over much about that?

*On the media literacy website, TV Tropes, someone thinks that Superman redirected a nuke from Smallville to Paradise Island. It seems to me pretty obvious that Supes would just disable a nuke or throw it into space rather than ever throwing it at another populated area, and Diana was raging at him for 'abandoning' the defense of Themyscira to save Smallville, but I am cracking up at the mental image of Superman kicking a nuke away from Smallville and watching it fly towards one tiny island in the Atlantic like

[autisticandroids]

love club commentary part 2

got link limited by tumblr so here is the second half of this.

okay we're nearing the home stretch, folks. anyway. one of the reasons it took me so long to make this video is that i was worried about... the possibility of misinterpretation. because this video has a lot, and i mean a LOT, of themes and things to say. and not a lot of space to say them in. so one of the things i was concerned about is like... this video is partly about the tragedy of the angels, you know? and that's something where cas' complicity/fault is... complicated. while cas certainly bears some of the blame, it's also true that... this was historically inevitable. the angels were always going to eventually wipe themselves out because of the nature of their inherently unstable authoritarian cultgovernment means that when that collapsed, of course they all killed each other before they could figure out any other way to live. and it was always going to collapse.

and like, there were chances! there were chances. maybe eventually after half a decade of continuous civil war the remaining angels could have gotten their shit together. that's what's so compelling about stairway to heaven: that was their best chance. but it gets wrecked. and it gets wrecked because cas can't say no to his cult leader. like that's the great tragedy.

but also, it gets wrecked because of hannah's angel conflict resolution skills. the only way she knows how to solve the problem in stairway to heaven is by demanding that cas kill dean. hannah is certainly the rachel of season nine in terms of being a kind of synecdoche for his relationship with other angels, but also for her inability to resolve things without violence. (there is a reason why rachel's death plays such a prominent role in this video, and also why her "but what does god want us to do with it?" is so emphasized. she is synecdoche for the tragedy of cas and the angels in every respect. she expects to follow a leader. she has no framework for choices. she tries to kill cas. he kills her instead. he doesn't want to).

this is why i specifically included the fight with daniel and adina in black in the little flashes of angel violence during the rachel fight. that whole thing is a direct result of stairway to heaven, it's happening because that little attempt at like, angel non-authoritarianism has failed, and now hannah has the reins she is immediately falling back on authoritarianism because that's all she knows. it's really just like godstiel. you need a father, and i am your father now. which is of course projection, she is the one who feels like she needs an authority and is floundering. but i digress. and as soon as other angels reject her authority, the result is deadly violence. which is because of the authoritarian cult mindset instilled in her and cas and others by their upbringing in heaven.

so while cas is complicit in the angels wiping themselves out, i don't want it to come off like i'm putting all of the blame on him, you know? and while it matters that dean hates angels and will never accept cas' relationship with them it's also... it isn't the whole story. like, it matters that cas participates in wiping out the angels, it matters that sometimes the reasons why are related to how being in the winchester family cult has harmed him, it matters that being in the winchester family cult has also prevented him from effectively assisting the other angels. there's a reason i put the "i hate those flying ass-monkeys just as much as you do" -> "if i see what heaven's become... what i... what i made of it… i'm afraid i might kill myself" scene in this video. but they're not the core. the core of the tragedy is that the angels killed each other because they were always going to. and that's what the video's about.

my other concern about misinterpretation is essentially that i'm tackling a lot of themes and topics in this video and i didn't want to blur them together. like, cas inducting jack into the cult of the winchester family doesn't really have anything to do with the extinction of the angels, except insofar as they are both distant results of cas' indoctrination into the angelic cult, you know?

anyway, one of the reasons i couldn't make this amv way back in september 2021 is that i did not truly get jack yet, because i hadn't had @restlesshush explaining to me the horrible reality of his life for a year and some change.

anyway one thing i've always liked about this song is the double entendre of go get punched for the love club. like, punched as in tapped, as in initiated, but also punched as in hit. and so i put cas sacrificing himself in lucifer rising in the first chorus because you know, it fits. he's sacrificing himself to be initiated into dean's good graces. there's a reason why the thing that finally pushes him, in both lucifer rising and the monster at the end of this book, is dean saying "we're done." which is, you know. it's definitely bad for cas. but the true tragedy is in the last chorus, when cas unintentionally teaches jack that he too must destroy himself (this is why when cas is saying "take me in his stead" from byzantium he is mouthing go get punched for the love club). like, the end is a kind of. jack suicide compilation. it's all the times that jack has tried to destroy himself in the name of the winchester family. the most notable ones are obviously unity and ouroboros, ouroboros because it's like. it's an attempt by jack to earn his place in the winchester family through self-destruction. unity (the rib scene) because dean openly demands that jack sacrifice himself.

and then of course there's the level on which like... the beginning of jack's relationship is cas trying to get into another cult. like, he's had a pretty miserable year in season twelve so he just. finds himself a new authority figure. he craves being brainwashed, and he kind of gets his wish. of course, once jack is a flesh and blood person in front of him and not a vague concept, that's no longer how he relates to jack.

but there's still a level of one-sidedness in their relationship in a new way, where cas thinks of himself as not really having the right to be jack's family, of his task being to love jack one-sidedly. and this results in lots of things but one of them is him intentionally indoctrinating jack into the family cult. like he is not bringing jack into his own family. there is no family unit that is headed by castiel. instead, he's bringing jack into the winchester family.

which is why that whole conversation at the end happens. like, cas sacrificing himself for jack in front of jack may have been destructive to jack, bringing him to be around the winchesters, ditto, but this conversation in destiny's child is like. the worst thing cas has done to jack. and like. i have my qualms about the writing in this episode, because of buckleming's garbage jack thesis. but it's crucial to understanding the whole point, because what's happening there is cas teaching jack to process dean's abuse the way cas does. he is teaching jack to accept emotional abuse as an inevitability, and love dean anyway. and that's the end point of cas' trauma, trauma that starts all the way back in heaven.

cas becoming dean's priest.

[back to video]

[moronic-validity]

Update on the DWU: Official Hiatus Announcement

Long post under the cut!

TLDR: I'm reworking the DWU during the hiatus bc I hit a wall and don't even know what the plot is anymore. I am working on new content, though all announced projects are CoD related.

okay so here's the deal:

I have hit a wall with the DWU. Y'all know it, I know it, we all know it.

I am trying to give myself some space from working on it, but I am still working with it. I'm trying to work through the plot, find the holes, and figure out where I want to take the story from here. I have a lot of ideas floating around, but at this point, I basically bitched out of the main conflict because honestly? I didn't like where it was going.

So right now, I need to establish a new line of conflict, a plot that isn't held together by duct tape and prayers, and I need to revisit the source material so I can say I'm doing right by the characters (I love my canon atypical shit, but I like the characters to be recognizably themselves within my stupid ass au).

Part of me is holding out for the second season, but let's be real: there's a good chance Simon isn't gonna play a role in it (which is good. Let the old man have some peace) and I'm not about to sit on my hands and hope he shows up so I get a little bit more perspective.

That brings us to the question of "Well what now?" and that is a fantastic question that I actually have the answer for. I'm going to take some time and go back through the entire story, editing and making sure I'm telling the story I want to tell, instead of just trying to go with the flow and assume it'll work itself out. Don't worry, everything will stay up through this process, I plan to only take stuff down when it is time to repost the new and improved version.

Things I have:

A vague game plan

Determination

A desperate need to turn this story into the one I wanted to tell

Things I don't have

An actual plot

A predicted return date

A million dollars

In the meantime, please stay tuned for wonderful things such as: König smut (and angst!), the ghoap timeloop fic I've been toying with the idea for, a super toxic no plot smut fic with König/Ghost/Soap that Alex and I came up with while driving to St. Louis, multiple retellings of different stories with the CoD guys smacked right into the suffering (y'all can thank Alex when Odysseus meets Price), and some random other shit I've come up with but am still workshopping ideas for!

[bringerofjollity44]

Very disappointed with Ahsoka: mid-season review

I watched all of Rebels just to prepare for this and I am so disappointed with what they have done with the characters. They are all played so flat, and I have to think it is the direction and not the actors themselves. Where Hera was once sharp and defiant, she is blank and emotionless; where Sabine was rebellious and independent, she is now angsty and traitorous; where Ahsoka was once spirited and charismatic she is now sour and sullen. Every character in this show feels like a different version of the same personality - all emotions feel overly reserved yet melodramatically serious. This goes for the new characters as well, including ones who were barely present in the show such as Captain Hayle in episode 1.

Moreover, the storytelling is just bad. We have little to know idea who any of these people are or their motivations:

Baylan is Dark Jedi who repeatedly alludes to some greater good and his past in the Jedi order. But how and why did he become embroiled with Thrawn, who has been in a different galaxy for years??? How did they even meet? What are the tangible things he is looking to get out of this? This goes for Shin and Morgan as well - who are they, how do they know Thrawn, and why are they so committed to him? We are halfway through the season and we are not any closer to answering these questions. (also why does Baylan know every detail of Ahsoka and Sabine's backstories??? why is his character carrying the weight of providing their backstories???)

The Ahsoka-Sabine relationship is also wildly disappointing. The writers threw us into the middle of some conflict that was depicted nowhere without providing any backstory. This allows them to add new elements to the conflict willy nilly without having to think it through beforehand. From the audience perspective, this prevents us from feeling with the characters. For example, in "Fallen Jedi" Baylan uses the fact that Ahsoka apparently prevented Sabine from helping her family survive the purge of Mandalore - which was never shown on screen or mentioned previously in the show. Instead of feeling what Sabine is feeling and internally understanding her tension regarding finding Ezra vs. stopping Thrawn, we are just told plot elements as needed. This is a classic example of TELLING and not SHOWING, while also contributing to the characters feeling like cardboard cutouts. We need to EMPATHIZE with characters good and bad throughout the show!!!!

Some of this has shown through in the plot as well, particularly with Sabine - why did she run away with the star map in episode 2?? She is a woman in her 30s, she is not a reckless teenager like in Rebels. I don't think even 16-year-old Sabine would do this - she would not sacrifice the cause for her personal gain. She has twice now played an instrumental role in helping the Dark Jedi & Morgan find Thrawn with an explicit goal of reinstating the Empire. Sabine sacrificed so much to bring about the Empire's fall!!! Why would she throw that all away now? And I'm not buying the "she doesn't have any family left" bit - even if her relationship with Ahsoka is strained, Hera is literally right there!!! One of the big themes of Rebels was choosing family when you are cast out from society/your own family. Does none of that matter now???

It feels very much like they heavily prioritized the aesthetics - which feel very "Star Wars" and are of fantastic quality - along with fan service (including cameos, live action versions of the most random Rebels characters (e.g. Jai Kell)) which makes it feel more like a Filoni vanity project than a way to advance the story of Star Wars.

Overall, I'm worried about what this show will mean for the trajectory of the entire Star Wars universe - Ahsoka is training a non-Force-sensitive individual, which has huge implications for what the Jedi are. Again, I could be on board with this, but the show has done zero explaining regarding why Ahsoka decided to take Sabine as a Padawan. The audience is just expected to accept that it's true.

On top of that, Disney-Star Wars has once again pulled the "person appears to die but actually didn't," which is getting progressively less believable each time they do it. I am also very afraid of the potential of the World Between Worlds as a deus ex machina - are we just going to use this mechanic to connect people through disjointed points in space and time whenever it serves the plot???? I will wait for the explanation when episode 5 comes out, but given how little explanation has taken place so far in the show, I have lost trust with the writing/direction of the show to do this.

Ahsoka, so far, is all flash and no substance. It feels like it is merely a way to show us characters we love in live action without doing any thinking regarding what they should be doing together. The emotions are simultaneously telegraphed and muted, which makes the characters feel dull and not true to their original characterization.

I will keep watching because I am deeply invested in Star Wars and I love these characters from my Rebels viewing, but I am so disappointed after what feels like another miss from Disney - an emphasis on fan service by bringing back beloved characters without taking any care to how their presentation is handled and whether they need to be brought back in the first place (see the horrible execution of Kenobi and The Book of Boba Fett, bringing back Palpatine with no explanation or buildup in Rise of Skywalker, etc).

Closing thought - where was Ahsoka during the main action of the original and sequel movies? If there was another Force sensitive that appears to be very significant to the Force, why was she not involved? Clearly she was very involved in the creation of the rebellion and now preventing the creation of the First Order - yet where is she in the movies? Why does no one even mention her? Again, this logical insistency makes this feel increasingly like a Filoni vanity project that does not prioritize consistency with the larger narrative of Star Wars.

[streets-in-paradise]

Doin'the Barbie - Andy Barclay x (Fem)Reader

Warnings: Andy catches the reader trying on a Barbie costume and feels weirdly attracted. Expect some doll brand references. (The title for this comes from the song in the cassette included with 1989's Dance Club Barbie)

Summary: Andy accidentally discovers the surprise you are planning for your goddaughter's birthday party and feels conflicted about it.

Tags: @losersclubisms ( I posted it only just so you could see it because i have the feeling that you may like it)

The doorbell rang and you answered without second thoughts. Caught up as you were in the practice of your performance knowing you weren't expecting any visits, you would have never imagined to find your boyfriend waiting at the other side.

Andy surprised you as much as the situation he stumbled on surprised him. There was 80 funky music playing before you opened the door for him and he found you dressed in a strange outfit that screamed 80's.

A thight black crop top with one of the short sleeves falling at the side of your arm and three fluorescent roses in the chest combined with a bright pink Madonna - like short riffled skirt. It suited you wonderfully, but you looked to him like a very beautifull time traveller.

" Am I interrupting something? I'm sorry. I know I should have called, but before that even occured to me I was already on the way. "

You gave him a peck on the lips and invited him to sit on your couch.

" How can i blame you for missing me? I miss you all the time. I only wish you wouldn't have to see this, but I'm going to change real quick."

" You look amazing… Mind to explain? All of this is odd enough to make me curious, but I am not complaining. "

You wished you could just change clothes and ignore the topic because you were almost sure it was a conversation he wouldn't want to have.

" My goddaughter's birthday it's coming up and i am preparing for my role in the party. I know that sort of stuff is triggering for you, so we can skip it and that would be perfectly fine. "

He knew about her, the little girl was your best friend's daughter. A year after you both started dating the father abandoned the family and since then you have been more present than ever in the kid's life to cover up for the struggling mother in all the things surpassing her limitations. It almost made him consider leaving you despite you both were already so in love. He was worried for the kid and for you, fearing Chucky would get in the middle and ruin your lives. It wasn't easy for him to stay calm, since you pretty much had become to that kid what Aunt Maggie was once for him.

Still, he was so proud of you because you were damn awesome in that role.

" I don't mind hearing if you want to tell me. I promise I will let you know if it's getting uncomfortable for me."

" Well, she loves Barbie. Some time ago i gave her all my old Barbies and turns out my old favorite is also hers. I'm already giving her a brand new Barbie as a gift, but that's not the end of it. I have been preparing myself for months because i'm going to act as Barbie for her and her little friends at the party. "

You stood up in front of him, model posing pridefully.

" I'm Dance Club Barbie: hottest tv dancer coming with her own cassette of original songs. " You introduced yourself like if you were a doll in a commercial. " The party is going to have a mix of themes between Barbie and Stranger Things, so i'm going to lead the entertainment as the best dancer Barbie of the 80's. I recreated the outfit all by myself. "

He was a bit weirded, but it was more of himself than of you in particular. You were ríght assuming it was the kind of thing he would hate, but he didn't seem to loathe it on you.

" I can't argue with a pretty doll. What are you going to do? Dance, then fight demogorgons with a baseball bat? "

It made you chuckle, but that was a good sign.

" For the start, i'm practicing the children friendly dance routines for the doll's songs." You are explained ríght away. " I have been driving my coworkers insane singing the catchy Paula Abdul main song for the Barbie dance."

You sang a tiny bit of the " Doin the Barbie" song just to make fun of yourself and began to chuckle inmediately afterwards.

" I really wanna do the Barbie, you are insanely attractive to me ríght now. " He mocked you in a flirty tone. " Did you stop to think you are going to save a child's birthday as the favorite toy? Which is also your old favorite toy? That's so attractive of you. "

You giggled, genuinely surprised of his reaction.

" Wanna know a fun fact?" You wondered out loud, caressing his cheek . " Dance Club Barbie was one of the top selling dolls of 1989, so tecnically i'm also a market rival of the Good Guy. After the controversy ruined him I ended up kicking that ginger bastard's ass on sales."

He squeezed his hand tighter against the front side of his thight.

" Don't make it worse. I feel weird and horrible, you are just trying to bring joy to that girl as this sweet Barbie who is going to cheer the party. "

He stopped himself for an instant as a sudden realization made him spill an awkward ask.

" … Are you going to keep the costume afterwards?"

It was nothing like what you could have possibly expected from him.

" ANDY!" You called him out. " Since when are you into Barbies?"

" I don't like Barbies, I like you as one. There is a difference. "

You collapsed on the couch ríght beside him.

" For now the onlyone you are going to get is Kissing Barbie, banned from the market because kisses are her central talent. " You teased him, caressing his cheeks. " You could be Shaving Fun Ken, but without the shaving. I love this super hot beard. "

The rehearsal was completely postponed. Andy didn't get the banned dolls couple joke, but you were filling him with kisses anyways.

[femmefatalevibe]

Hey darling, an avid reader of your blog here! I want to say your advice and posts have helped me so much through the past year of my life and completely changed my way of thinking, but now I have a specific question for my situation. I am 22 years old, just graduated from university and I come from a middle-income family (not struggling but needs to be careful with spending) and am very ambitious - I want to live a life of ease and luxury and I am aware I can’t just wait around or expect a man to show up in my life and give me that, so I am also not scared of building a career. My parents continuously tell me they think I am too ambitious for my own good and that they think I can’t handle the stress of having such a career, especially as I have hyperactive thyroid issues due to stress.

On one hand, my diagnosis is correct and I am glad they are caring about me and worried, but on the other I am wondering if it’s their scarcity mindset playing a role in their opinion; for example when I was in school my mom fully thought having painted nails or putting effort into your appearance meant your grades were gonna be worse, which obviously isn’t true and also wasn’t true in my case (which she attributes to her theory, naturally). What do you think I should do in this situation?

Thank you in advance, I hope you have a wonderful day 😘

Hi love! I'm so glad to hear that my blog adds value to your life and has played a role in your personal growth journey <3

Your ambition, especially given any medical-related hurdles, is very admirable. I think this sentiment will help you reframe this situation (and potential conflict?) in a more objective light: People can't see your growth past where they've grown themselves. It sounds like they're projecting their struggles onto you, even if it's more unconscious than intentional. Like you said, I believe you're spot on in saying your family has a "scarcity mindset" and think you would love Carol Dweck's book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.

If I were in your shoes, I would accept that I cannot help someone in a "fixed" mindset decide to expand their horizons and cultivate a "growth" mindset (concepts Dweck describes in her book – I've linked an article that summarizes these terms HERE). Additionally, I would focus on meeting like-minded people with a growth mindset, building skills necessary to my desired field, networking with people in my dream field/industry/role with informational interviews, networking/ charity events, post-graduate career programs, etc., and keep the parents on a semi-information diet.

Share information on your budding career on a "need to know" basis and news you know they will be delighted to hear. Reach for the stars with your career and life goals. Just don't let small-minded people ruin your exciting milestones ahead because they're afraid to see outside of the thinking patterns that have kept them emotionally safe for decades. Let them know you're doing well and happy with what you do. Once any bills you need to pay are paid independently, what you decide to do with your time is none of their business.

Hope this helps xx

[msmorningstaarr]

Spoiler from Chapter 8

Hey guys! It's been a while since I don't post anything related to Holy and Heathen due to an stressful end of semester. But I'm working on chapter 8 and decided to share a small portion of what I've prepared <3 shall we go?

“I could not help but notice the absence of my husband at the table.” Melara stated, noticing Ysilla’s eyes getting numb, somewhat worried.

“Oberyn is not in good spirits this morning.” She sighed heavily, resting her head over her hands. “Which is a shame on such a beautiful, bright day with wonderful news from King’s Landing.”

Melara narrowed her eyes. “What news, if I am allowed to ask, mother?” 

Then, her face turned to be happy as it was before and a wide smile rose on her lips. “Elia is with child. I had just received the news, my dear.” 

Melara's eyes widened at the revelation. A mixture of surprise and conflicting emotions played across her features as she processed the news. Elia, Oberyn's sister, was with child, carrying the next generation of House Targaryen. A rush of conflicting emotions surged within Melara — joy for the impending addition to the family, but also a pang of jealousy of Elia, because she was able to be with child so early in her marriage. Meanwhile, Melara cried all months her bleeding fell between her legs.

"That is wonderful news, mother!" Melara exclaimed, forcing a smile to her lips despite the turmoil in her heart. "A new heir for the Iron Throne is indeed a cause for celebration."

Ysilla beamed at Melara's response, seemingly oblivious to the internal struggle beneath her daughter-in-law's composed exterior. "Yes, my dear. Elia and her husband, Prince Rhaegar, are overjoyed. The entire realm will soon rejoice in the birth of a Targaryen heir. We must throw a feast tonight to celebrate such soul fulfilling news. You make sure to be on your best looks, my dear. I will be more than thrilled to celebrate it with you."

Melara nodded, concealing the tumult of emotions within. The news added another layer of complexity to her relationship with Oberyn. The prospect of Elia providing an heir might put even more pressure on Melara, heightening the uncertainties surrounding her own role in House Martell.

"I am happy for them," Melara continued, her voice carefully modulated. "I'm sure Oberyn will be delighted to hear the news as well."

Ysilla's expression shifted slightly, her eyes betraying a hint of concern. "Oberyn has not taken the news as joyfully as one might expect. He seems burdened by some troubles."

A knot tightened in Melara's stomach. The revelation about Oberyn's mood cast a shadow over the joyous occasion. She couldn't shake off the haunting memories of the previous night's confrontation and the bruises on her arms.

[sleepingfancies]

TELL ME ABOUT DEATHBRINGERS!!!!<3<3<3<3!! how are there no stars???? what's the giant fucked up wall (or gate? you've mentioned it b4 but I forgor) ??? what role do ur characters play in the Things That Are Happening, or do they live in the aftermath? I fuckign love hearing about deathbringers it is so cool

TEEHEE ^-^ (thank u sm for asking i'm about to type an ungodly amount im sorry)

So about the stars >=) there is a sun and people in the world Assume there May Have Been more like it in the past!! But the sun is to their world what one random dragon would be to us, really; it's there, and no one can deny Its Nature, but people are a bit confounded or skeptical about it. The absence of light at night has largely been blamed on vampires as something they achieved (incorrect, though they do benefit from only having one sun-source to worry about). But there's no more proof for that theory than there is the concept other stars ever existed at all :3

What actually happened doesn't have any definitive documentation in canon anymore!! It was all intentionally destroyed by the involved parties and the main characters never fully learn the big picture <3 but essentially. An extremely long time ago and far beyond living memory, some particularly ambitious individuals decided to Bring Down and Swallow stars for their power ^_^ the resulting conflict was apocalyptic but ultimately the stars lost, and so there are no stars anymore =) unless

---

The giant fucked up wall could refer to three things and I'm insane so I will tell u abt them all ^-^

The titular City of Gears has many a fucked up wall !! It was built into a mountain and meant to be a sanctuary for vampires, away from the sun. But the original architect wanted to ensure the vampires were safe from even the most immortal threats (teehee!!), so he designed the city as a labyrinth with hundreds of walls that could rotate, appear and disappear, and raise and lower; this on top of stationary walls, as well. The idea was that the labyrinth's pattern would never be the same twice and change once a month, thus making it impossible for an immortal threat to spend centuries memorizing the city's layout for an attack.

Blynnfell's Crown isn't necessarily fucked up and crazy insane like the City of Gears' rotating labyrinth but it is Different !! Blynnfell is the capital of the country and sits on the southeast coast, sort of boxed in by the continental-long Blackcrest River and the sea ^-^ it's surrounded by enormous and thick as hell jagged shards of stoneglass (in our world we call it alexandrite). Its primary purpose is to absorb light reflecting off the ocean + manage the city's light pollution, but it's almost as hard as diamond, so it makes for excellent defense as well. The city is always surrounded by a very colorful glow, it's rather pretty =)

The Spire isn't technically a wall itself but it is fucked up <3 it's the seat of the Lovely Prince (the title of the current and singular god). It's been heavily enchanted and covered in illusions; the Lovely Prince doesn't actually maintain it well, so it's a rather derelict mess in reality, but the illusion projects an opulent veneer. The illusion persists as long as the Lovely Prince is around to maintain it :3

---

The characters ougghghghgaaaaa the characters >=) I am sure u have heard me mention all of them at some point but the core four are Daciana Cel Tradat (vampire), Mortimer Crackbone (human), Vidar Rothmoor (fey), and Kadija Ekunye (human). The four of them get together to kill the Lovely Prince ^-^ I won't get TOO into book 2 shenanigans here just bc this is already soooo long SJDHGDSG

Daciana is the head of the group and the duology's deuteragonist. She personally assembles the gang to kill the Lovely Prince, she plans out how to travel to the Spire without drawing attention, she refuses to stop until she completes her goal, and she goes against the vampiric Grand Coven's warnings to do it. Daciana is a very "I will do what I know must be done" kind of person, which does a lot for driving events both good and bad <3

Mortimer is the soul of the group and the duology's universal foil. He quite literally monitors and cares for the souls of the other three. He contains multitudes and is deeply understanding of other people's multitudes as well; his protectiveness and gentleness directly impact the end outcome. Mortimer also foils almost every single major character; he represents both someone's doomed villain and someone else's redeemed hero.

Vidar is the body of the group and the duology's antihero. He is a creature of indulgence, and indulge he does!! His hunger and consumption have enormous ramifications on the plot, especially leading into the second book. Vidar is also fundamentally selfish, cowardly, and mocks other people's feelings for a laugh. But still he takes the heaviest beating in defense of the other three, and consistently utilizes his advantages as a fey for their benefits.

Kadija is the heart of the group and the duology's protagonist. She can and will choose kindness every single time, even at great cost to herself, which shapes the entire overarching plot. Kadija is also the center of the conundrum and always was. She is the core of the story, the overlaid note in everyone else's arc, and she always was and always would be. Kadija's arc would have happened regardless of what the other three did or didn't do <3

[hesitationss]

gundam: the witch from mercury cour 2 ep 1/ep 13, spoilers ahead!

i said i was going to write out my thoughts for each episode, so i'm doing it now before i watch ep 3!! by the end of season 1, SO much happened, in particular there was the big moment where suletta murders and feels no remorse for it. we are starting to see her sense of morality and personhood dictated by solely her mother who is the big schemer begin to unwind. guel has just... experienced too much character development and it left me very curious as what he would be doing next, where that leaves his brother (who I am assuming will be next acting CEO, he has got to be only 15/16 though if suletta is a second year! poor kid :(...)

the earth students barely survived and it was all thanks to NIKA who has got to be my favourite character. the dynamic she has with the whole earth house, but especially chu and martin fill me with a lot of dread about what's to come. at this point, i've already seen ep 1 so i know that her info has been leaked. martin already suspects her, but i am just dreading for when she and chu have to come face to face about it. clearly the whole earth house is traumatized by the reality of GUNDAMS and other technology being used for killing.

the ep opens w suletta fighting all of her backed up duels during their time at plant quetta, she still has a mostly positive attitude about being at school, it hasn't really hit her that they have experienced terrorism, not like it has for the earthians. i'll do a separate post about the OP and ending i think... there's so much to look at lol. i think most people would have been terrified in that situations, but we know how closely earthians experience conflict, even those who are more well off. i also love that they all have different responses too. chuchu is enraged, nino continues to be despondent, martin and nika who are expected to have it together are filled with a lot of mental turmoil. Shaddiq is leading the presentation on the aftermath of the plant quetta incident and oh no! guel's baby brother, lauda, is acting head of the company. rly not prepared for what he's going to go through to further guel's character or the fact that he has had no time to grieve...but also anticipating lauda and guel meeting again after they are *changed by the narrative*...

gosh there is so much happening here... with shaddiq's schemes and also suletta's mom as the underlying mastermind for everything...it's always that damn masked character!!! weirdly enough, i think shaddiq and nika are still my favourite characters, there's so much build up in what roles they will play and i think their character arcs will be really captivating... but i am also a sucker for side characters!! i'm still dying to know what nika's relationship with her "father" figure is like since i am assuming she is also a war orphan. it doesn't seem like she has a relationship with the earth witches aside from socio-political faction. also the worn out and ripped toys that sophie calls her "family" 🥺 i'm fine and normal about these kids i swear...

mostly i am like... SO worried about the earth kids... nika, martin, chuchu...............pls SURVIVE like i just know that shit is gonna start going down, the first season was to build up the school life vibe and let the students experience joy while the drama builds up. the politics and anti-war themes were just sprinkled around, but never made it to the main plot you know? but now it's getting serious ahhh nika pls SURVIVE

also on a less serious note, challenging ppl to duels is SO yugioh lmao

[ideahat-universe]

Veilguard is doing a Barv

So when I made that post about Dragon's Age: Veilguard, I was only really worried about the tone and the gameplay not being the same.

I didn't think that nearly everything would be different.

I am fascinated by this Taash character.

They are so awful. It is Alex YIIK bad. But Alex YIIK is supposed to be hated by the audience because he represents an autistic incel who doesn't understand that the world doesn't revolve around him.

This is undercut because the entire multiverse is about him, but that's a fraction of why YIIK is a frustrating experience.

But here we have an Alex YIIK without countermeasures. Taash doesn't get chewed out for demanding something that is inconvenient. She has no manners, so she's rude to everyone but if you mis-gender her, you pulled a barv and do some push ups to make up for your mistake.

Did I say "her"? Whoops! I'm pulling a Barv, which wouldn't be a punishment for me because pushups and sit-ups are based.

I used to turn on the Zen channel and just do push ups to Mystery Train for fun.

What I'm saying is, if I could roleplay in this ROLE PLAYING GAME. I would Role Play as an asshole that would piss off Taash on purpose and hopefully trigger a fight.

It's what I did in Mass Effect one with Wrex, it's what I did in Dragon Age, one with Wynn, Sten, and Alistar.

Hell, in Sakura Wars: So long my love I would throw hands with the girls even though you're supposed to set yourself up for a soft harem.

Don't like really bitchy personality archetypes, so Taash being a Them is one thing, but Taash just being extremely antisocial drives me to want to fight them. I don't want to be Taash's friend. I want to fight Taash and humble them.

But the game doesn't allow that, the game doesn't make Taash out to be a pathetic loser like it does with Alex in YIIK. That might sound like a negative but getting knocked off your high horse IS relatable and being willing to correct yourself is endearing.

I mean, all the other characters are bland except for the Necromancer guy who would fit in well in a Cartoon show or a comedy animated series on YouTube. It's very wholesome and comfy that he's an extremely friendly and magnanimous necromancer.

But it's not Dragon Age at all. To make this more like Dragon Age, it would require him basically immoral despite this like I don't know, instead of a goofy skeleton assistant, it's his daughter, and the implication that is inability to cope with death drove him to desecrate his own daughter's grave and he knows that doing this keeps her soul from being at rest but he struggles to move on from her tragic death. The worst part is that his daughter's soul has no agency. All interactions are actually with a Desire Demon that is pretending to be his undead daughter.

That sounds interesting to me, I don't know about you.

Here's something else. What if Taash is literally a Them? What if, follow me here, what if Taash's thoughts about their identity are a pysop from the dragons? Stop, stop! Don't walk away from me!

She's a dragon slayer and Dragons in Dragon Age are some of the most powerful creatures to exist. What if a Dragon cursed Taash into having systematic self doubt?

The average person never lies in their bed, wondering who they are physically. It's always their exploits, their actions that define them, and people will spend their entire life trying to craft a worthwhile life story for themselves.

Taash and their exploits will give the impression that they are impregnable. But when they cannot slay and need to socialize, they fail at it because they hear conflicting thoughts dripped into them by a Dragon curse. They use their stubbornness to smash through the gender identity issues they have, but it only results in them alienating those who don't understand them.

Taash has a slow burn to madness as minor mistakes people make when addressing them if unpunished makes them angry and violent.

The player has to make a choice. Technically Taash's problem is the conflict, not whether Taash is male or female or neither. If they can get them to find true self actualization, the curse breaks.

Alternatively, they can send Taash packing or kill them.

These were the choices and narratives that were standard in Dragon Age, but not anymore.

Several years ago companies gained the ability to be seen as a person and with it they gained traits that were originally exclusive to only human beings.

Well, a slow, agonizing death is quite the human experience. I hope Bioware enjoys it.