#but i'd still like to write little scenes from this au because i want it to exist in a space outside my head

[lilacmingi]

TOWARDS THE LIGHT

My works are 14+ ONLY. If you’re under 14 DO NOT interact with me or any of my works. NO SPAM-LIKING PLEASE

Pairing: Sith!Seonghwa x Jedi!fem reader

Word count: 16,450

Note: So I didn’t think I’d ever write anything longer than Hongjoong’s D&D AU “A Quest For Love” but here we are lol so strap in because this is a big one

The sizzling sound of clashing lightsabers filled the air in the training room, blue and green beams of light swinging around and colliding with one another with a resounding spark.

Seonghwa's saber was swung towards you, which you blocked, pushing back with your own weapon and successfully deflecting his attack. He let out a huff, a small smirk playing at the corner of his mouth at the challenge. He always liked battling with you, though you bested him most of the time, he took it as a chance to improve.

The blue beam of light Seonghwa wielded was spun around in a showy manner as he lunged forward, raising the saber. Your eyes stayed trained on him as he approached with an aggressive attack, holding out your green lightsaber in preparation before swinging it at his and successfully knocking it from his hand.

Seonghwa grunted in mild agitation as he landed on the ground, having lost his footing when he landed. His arm shot out and brought the weapon back to his hand by using the Force. He was always good at that.

Getting to his feet, he wasted no time coming at you again, this time with a determined gleam in his eye. His burst of energy took you by surprise and you found yourself scrambling to do something before his blazing beam of light came swinging at you. With only a few seconds to react, your lightsaber came up to halt his attack, the beams making a sizzling sound when touching.

The weapons were pulled away from one another before clashing once more, and again, and again. Each time, neither of you were able to strike the other.

This was a familiar scene. Being in this gray training room with walls made of metal. You and Seonghwa had spent almost your whole lives training to be Jedi. You were Luke's only apprentices. You were the best of friends—inseparable some might say.

After continuing to block attacks, you saw a moment of opportunity and leapt into the air, attempting to use the Force to assist you in going high enough to jump right over Seonghwa. You just barely missed his head as you moved through the air, landing on the ground with a soft huff. Now standing just behind Seonghwa, you held the tip of your lightsaber to the back of his head, making him freeze.

"I win."

"Not bad." He commented with a chuckle, raising his hands in surrender before turning to face you. "That Force jump was a little rusty though."

"I thought I'd try something new." You shrugged, deactivating your weapon.

"You could still use some practice." He remarked, doing the same with his saber.

"I'm impressed." A voice full of wisdom spoke from one end of the training room.

You and Seonghwa turned your heads towards the utterance, finding Luke standing in the doorway with a fond expression on his face. He had been watching.

"Y/n, that's the first time I've seen you successfully execute a Force jump. You need a little more practice, but I think you'll have it down in no time."

"Thank you, Master Luke." You bowed at his praises, always honored to receive them from such a well-known Jedi.

"Seonghwa, you have this fire in your eyes when engaged in a fight. You've got determination, but your attacks were a little aggressive. When in battle it's good to be strong and vigorous, but you also need to be fluid and focused. Sometimes hostility isn't the best course of action."

Seonghwa nodded, taking in the information he was being given. He wanted to be a good Jedi, as good as Master Luke, and he would do anything to work towards that goal.

"I'll try and tone it down." He nodded, showing that he understood the critiques he was given.

"Good." Luke smoothed out his gray robes, giving the both of you a once over before speaking again. "You two had better go eat. I'm sure you're exhausted from training. You kids have been in here for hours."

With that, he exited the training room.

Glancing over at your battle partner, you could see his round coffee-colored eyes shine with interest at the mention of food—Seonghwa was always a big eater.

"Let's go." You linked arms with him, tugging him out of the room and into the corridor of the ship you often trained in.

Hurrying down the loading ramp of the spacecraft that was parked amongst the lush greenery, you and Seonghwa hastened across the base past other Resistance members, heading directly for the canteen which was really just a large tent set up for people to eat in.

Seonghwa pushed past the beige canvas flaps and entered the area where a handful of people were eating. His eyes locked on the bar situated at the back of the tent where a droid was busying itself by stacking clean bowls. Plopping down on two of the six vacant barstools, you and Seonghwa rested your elbows on the countertop, the droid rolling over to take your orders. A wooden board with a small selection of dishes carved into it hung from a structural beam above the bar. Seonghwa's index finger hovered in the air as he read over the items as if he hadn't done so the last thousand times you two had been in there. While he decided what he wanted, you waved the droid over and ordered a vitajuice and a warm stew, hoping for something filling after a strenuous practice battle.

"Me too." Seonghwa piped up before the droid rolled away, settling on getting the same as you.

"Copycat."

He snorted-slash-scoffed in response to your playful name-calling. "It sounded good when you ordered it. Also, a vitajuice is what I need right now after all that practice." As if to emphasize his words, he stretched out his back and jerked his head a bit, cracking his neck in the process.

"Sure." You responded with an eye roll.

The low murmur of patrons in the mess tent and the distant sound of clanking dishes in the back floated through the air, filling the comfortable silence between you and Seonghwa as you waited for your meals.

The bar droid rolled out from the kitchen area with two glasses clutched in each of its pincers, placing them in front of you and Seonghwa. After thanking the droid, it got back to work behind the counter stacking dishes, picking up right where it left off.

Taking the straw between your index finger and thumb, you took a sip of the refreshing juice, sighing in satisfaction as the cool liquid coated your mouth.

"Ahh. That hits the spot." You hummed.

"Sure does." Seonghwa agreed, sipping so hard on the straw that his cheeks sucked in.

You cackled in response to the ridiculous sight next to you.

"Easy there, bud. It's not going anywhere." You managed to speak through laughter, giving him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

He pulled away with a drawn-out exhale, the drink having obviously refreshed him.

"I could've chugged the whole thing if I really wanted to."

"I don't doubt it."

Seonghwa's large eyes grew in size when a droid from the kitchen rounded the corner with two bowls of piping hot stew a few minutes later, his hungry gaze following the dishes until they were set down before you. Spoons were given to each of you and you wasted no time getting a sizable spoonful of the stew, Seonghwa following suit. Hums made in unison reverberated in both your throats when you took your first bites, the meal warming you from the inside.

"Is it just me or does food taste better after you've been practicing?" You asked.

"It definitely tastes better." Seonghwa nodded in agreement.

After a filling and satisfactory meal, you took a stroll around camp while your food settled. People bustled about, carrying equipment and crates across the way, some taking them into a nearby cave which doubled as a makeshift hangar for one of the many spaceships.

There was a nice breeze jostling the baby hairs that framed your face and fluttering the leaves of nearby trees. The gray fabric of your pants brushed against the tall grass that covered every inch of the area and beyond. Ajan Kloss, the jungle moon where the Resistance base resided, was where you and Seonghwa had been living your whole lives. You were both moved here as kids, probably no older than ten, by your resistance member parents and when your shared force-sensitivity was discovered by Luke, he started training you. It's all either of you had ever known. There were only fleeting glimpses of your old home planet.

A year later, you found yourself sitting on the Millennium Falcon with Seonghwa, seated on the curved bench of the holographic game table in the lounge area watching him play a round of dejarik with Chewbacca. The ship, piloted by Luke and his closest companion, Han Solo, was headed straight to the planet of Ilum to find kyber crystals for yours and Seonghwa's very own lightsabers. It was tradition for younglings to build their lightsaber before moving up to padawan status, but Luke was different. He had his own ways of training that contrasted from how it used to be before the Great Jedi Purge took place and wiped out almost all the Jedi. Thus why you and Seonghwa were just now getting lightsabers. To say you were excited was an understatement.

Chewbacca raised his furry arms up in victory, having beat Seonghwa in yet another round of dejarik.

"Man." Sighed your friend as he leaned back against the bench with a small smirk tugging up at the corner of his mouth.

"Don't feel bad." You gave him a supportive pat on the shoulder. "Chewie has been playing this game for years. He's a dejarik pro. It's nearly impossible to beat him."

"One day." Seonghwa pointed at the undefeated Wookie who waved off his promise dismissively.

"Hey, kids." Han's approaching voice, followed by the man himself, grabbed your attention. "We're on autopilot right now, but we should be to Ilum soon." He then turned to Chewie. "I hope you're going easy on him." He nodded towards Seonghwa.

The Wookie shook his head before throwing his head back to laugh heartily. Han gave a small chuckle and a head shake of his own before leaning to rest against the nearest wall.

"So, lightsabers." He began.

"Yeah." You nodded with a grin. "I'm really excited. This is a special day."

"Very special." Seonghwa agreed. "It's the most significant day for us as padawans."

"Oh, yes." Han nodded. "I know all about it." He paused to look at the both of you. "Y'know, Luke is really proud of you both. I'm sure he's told you that in some way or another, but I figured I'd say something anyway."

You and Seonghwa shared a gentle look with one another, touched by Han's words.

"Alright, well," He cleared his throat and pushed off the wall he was leaned against, heading out of the room. "gotta get back to the cockpit. Chewie, try to let Seonghwa win a round, will ya?"

A year after you and Seonghwa crafted your lightsabers, Master Luke passed away. It was sudden and almost decisive, like Luke knew it was his time to go and so he went to be one with the Force. Things changed after that.

Your training came to a temporary halt and you were left without a Jedi Master. For a week you didn't leave your sleeping quarters. Meals were brought to you via Leia. Chewie even stopped by once. He was good company and his hugs were always healing in a way. You heard Seonghwa was about the same, staying cooped up in his room just like you.

After that first week, you tried to return to normal and Seonghwa started spending time in the training room swinging his lightsaber and screaming until his lungs burned. You only knew that because you saw him once when passing by. That was the only time you saw him, as he stayed locked in his room majority of the time, isolating himself.

A week and four days after Luke's passing, Seonghwa disappeared. You two were both so wrapped up in mourning that you kept to yourselves. Once your mind had cleared enough, you wanted to check on your friend and see how he was holding up. When the door to his sleeping quarters slid open, you were alarmed to find it completely bare. His bed was made and every piece of furniture was cleared off.

The color drained from your face and every part of your body went cold, your heart plummeting to your feet.

"No." You murmured, spinning around and rushing down the corridors of the ship, stopping at the training room only to find it empty.

Stumbling through the halls, you called out Seonghwa's name, the desperation and panic becoming more apparent in your tone.

"Y/n. What's wrong?"

Whirling around on your heel, you spotted Leia standing at the entrance hall of the spaceship.

"Seonghwa's gone." The words left your lips shakily, fading out weakly at the end. "His room is bare. Cleaned out."

Leia hurried over to take you in her arms just as your knees buckled. With Luke's passing still fresh, Seonghwa disappearing suddenly was like rubbing salt in a wound that hadn't even begun to heal.

"It's alright." Leia cooed, placing a gentle hand on the back of your head. "He could've needed some time alone... away from here."

"Why would he just leave without saying anything?"

"It's possible he's dealing with lots of emotions right now. Maybe he was overwhelmed."

The next words you uttered were muffled due to your face being buried in Leia's shoulder. "Do you think he'll come back?"

"He will. Just give him time."

You sat inside your sleeping quarters of a ship parked at the Resistance base, staring fondly at the lightsaber in your hands. Your fingertips glided reverently over the silvery metal of the hilt, admiring the intricate designs that were etched into them—a personal touch. Though you'd possessed the saber for three years, you still admired it.

"Y/n?"

At the sound of your name being called, you lifted your gaze to find General Leia standing in the doorway of your room.

"Come in."

She entered, a solemn expression etched on her aged yet elegant face as she moved to take a seat beside you on the bed.

"You look concerned." Shifting to face Leia, your brows pulled together. "What's wrong?"

"They're after us again."

"They? The First Order?"

She nodded. "They already destroyed our last base and now they're trying to find this one."

"What do we do? Do we move?"

Leia shook her head. "No. We're not giving up. Besides, they haven't found us yet."

"Then, why'd you come to me?"

She pressed her lips together and stood up, smoothing out her attire. "Let's walk."

You stood up immediately and followed her down the corridor of the ship and off the loading ramp.

Although you tried to be patient, you were itching to know why Leia had come to you with this urgent information. However, instead of forcing her to speak, you waited for her to do it on her own accord.

Your gaze moved to the ships parked about the area as you approached, your fingers fiddling anxiously with the hem of your gray tunic. Whatever it was she needed to say, it wasn't good.

"We need you, Y/n." She finally spoke. "You were trained by my brother and then by me for the last three years."

You blinked incredulously, wondering where she was going with this.

"We don't know what the First Order knows about our location or if they even know it at all. So I need you to sneak onto their ship and plant a listening device."

"You need me to do... what?"

"If we could listen in on what they're talking about, we could collect intel, find out what they know, and use it to our advantage."

"Leia I..." You trailed off, reeling from this being dropped on you so suddenly. "I'm sorry. I have to decline. I-I'm not ready."

"You are. You've been ready."

"There has to be someone else."

She came to a stop, turning to face you fully, her expression serious. "There isn't. You're our only hope."

You shook your head. "What if—"

"No." She stopped you. "No what if's. Y/n, if I didn't think you were capable, I wouldn't be sending you on this mission."

You hardly even ventured off Ajan Kloss. How were you expected to carry out this mission?

"I just..." Your mind was a swirling supercell storm of emotions.

There were so many things to consider, like your lack of expertise in other areas besides battle and having no experience in real missions.

"I can't fly a spaceship, let alone sneak into enemy territory with one. How would I even manage to get by their sensors? They'd pick me up in their airspace right away."

"I can do it." Poe piped up as he happened to be passing by. "I've got a First Order ship in the cave over there." He jerked a thumb somewhere behind him towards a cluster of rocks.

"How did you even get one of those?"

He shrugged in response. "Connections."

Just then, Finn passed by, giving you both a friendly smile and a small wave, oblivious to your conversation. You nodded knowingly in immediate understanding.

"Ah. I see."

"So, will you do it?" Leia asked you, bringing the focus back to the issue at hand.

Taking in a deep breath, you let the possible outcomes flicker in your mind like a slideshow. This could all go terribly wrong—or perhaps it could go incredibly well. Leia believed in you and being the only Jedi on the base, you felt obligated to help, not that you could ever say no anyway.

"Yes."

Walking down the familiar corridors of the ship you called home, you tried to process the fact that you'd be going on your first mission very soon. It was a heavy weight to bear and an even bigger responsibility. Lost in thought, you passed by a room that carried bitter emotions, your footsteps coming to a stop beside it without really thinking. Pressing a button, the door slid open and your eyes landed on the space that was untouched for three years.

Seonghwa's room.

Passing the threshold, you stepped inside and glanced around, your fingers caressing the comforter.

"I sure wish you were here right now." You sighed, speaking aloud to the memories of Seonghwa that remained stagnant in the space. "Could really use your help on this one."

A lump formed in your throat and you swallowed it down, blinking back tears that started to prick your eyes. At first you were sad and confused about Seonghwa leaving all of a sudden—you still were. Then you got angry, feeling like he walked out on you. Now you were just numb.

"This should've been our mission, not mine."

Dropping down to sit on the edge of his bed, you let out another heavy sigh. Your fingers traced absentmindedly over the sleek nightstand, trailing across the handle of a drawer. Without thinking, you tugged on it, something jostling inside as you did so.

With furrowed brows, you peered into the drawer, your eyes slowly widening when you spotted Seonghwa's lightsaber lying inside. With a shaky hand, you reached in and took hold of the hilt, retrieving it from where it sat for three long years.

He left his lightsaber.

This only raised more questions. Did he just give up? Decide he didn't want to be a Jedi anymore since Luke passed?

An image of Seonghwa living on some run-down planet, isolated and alone, flashed in your mind and you hated it.

Shaking away those thoughts, you stood up, your friend's lightsaber in hand, and left. Seonghwa's abandoned weapon was placed on a shelf in your room for safe keeping in case he returned one day.

The following evening, you gathered in the meeting hall with other Resistance members where a plan was made for how you'd infiltrate the First Order's ship and where to plant listening devices. A layout of the enemy ship was projected into the air showing all the different areas.

"A meeting room would be ideal. As would the main control room of the ship. That is where talks between the generals and captains take place." C-3PO spoke in his posh robotic voice while R2-D2 beeped in response. "You could collect lots of intel there."

You nodded, taking it all in, determined to do your absolute best on this mission.

Staring down the entry point on the First Order ship, you clenched your hands at your sides, anxiety plaguing every inch of your body.

"You got this." Poe's voice came from the cockpit of the ship. "I'll be waiting here for you when you're done. You can communicate through your earpiece and I'll be keeping an eye on you through the tracking device inside of it."

"What if I mess up?"

"You won't. I'll tell you where to go."

"What if I get captured?"

"Then we're coming for you."

With that reassurance, you gave a nod and hopped off the spacecraft and into the hangar, sticking close to the wall. You came equipped with three listening devices to plant and your lightsaber which was strapped to your waist in its holster. Your vigilant eyes stayed trained on the stormtroopers marching about the hangar as you slinked along, sneaking behind large First Order spacecrafts parked about the area and using them for coverage until you got to the doors that led to the inside of the ship.

Letting out a shaky exhale, you waited for an opportunity to slip inside when no one was looking. Your hands trembled as you felt the slightest bit of relief that one hurdle had been conquered. Now it was time for the real mission—planting listening devices and not getting caught.

"Poe? I'm in." You whispered.

"Good. You're doing well." He responded through your earpiece. "Go straight and then take a left."

Taking in a deep breath, you proceeded down the empty and darkened corridor of the ship, peering around the corner before taking a turn. There was no time to waste, so you kept moving while waiting for more instructions.

"There you go. Keep going. The meeting room is on your right. Put a listening device under the table in there if the coast is clear."

"Is this it?" You asked once you arrived at a large set of dark gray doors.

"Yes."

Pressing your ear against the cool metal, you listened for voices on the other side, receiving silence in response. Your trembling finger pressed the button to open the doors, a breath of relief leaving your dry lips when you were greeted with the sight of an empty room. Digging out a listening device, you stuck it under the edge of the table, poking your head out to check the halls before swiftly moving out.

"I got it."

"Alright. Proceed down the hall."

Your feet moved quickly, your boots making little noise in the process.

With Poe's direction, you were able to successfully place the second device without issue.

As you fled the area, the sound of stormtroopers talking made you freeze up. Being on a First Order ship, the structure of it was unique with protruding pillars that made for the perfect hiding spot. That, paired with the dim lighting was ideal for your situation, making it easy for you to slip through the shadowy areas. As the voices got closer, you darted to hide yourself behind one of the blocky pillars that jutted out from the wall, pressing yourself against the chilly metal and hoping you wouldn't get caught. The beating of your racing heart thudding in your ears almost completely masked the footfalls of the stormtroopers, your hand hovering over your lightsaber as you watched the two pass by. Your eyes stayed locked on them, following the white-armored figures who didn't notice your presence.

The hand that lingered over your weapon dropped back to your side once the threat was gone and you were on your way.

One more listening device to place.

The intense anxiety you felt before the mission began was not nearly as bad as it was. Having been roaming the corridors of the spaceship for the last ten minutes or so, you managed to get used to the task you were carrying out. That being said, there was still the anxiety of everything going wrong, however, you tried to keep your hopes up.

"Y/n? You still there?"

"Yeah." You let out an exhale. "Stormtroopers passed by. I was hiding."

"Good call. Your last destination is the control room. That'll be difficult because it'll be full of ship staff I'm sure."

Poe could hear your sigh through the earpiece.

"Hey, you got this." He encouraged.

"I know."

"You don't sound very confident."

"I'm not." You murmured, peering around a corner before rounding it. "But I'm gonna pretend to be."

"There you go. Fake it 'til you make it."

A mix between a scoff and a chuckle left you.

"Control room is up the way. Keep an eye out though, there might be some unsavory individuals in there."

That made your heart jump with dread. Unsavory individuals?

"Like who?"

"Ones in higher ranks, like generals."

"I see."

You proceeded down the corridor, pressing yourself behind another metal pillar to hide from more approaching stormtroopers. As soon as they passed, you got back to the mission.

"The doorway should be directly ahead of you." Poe informed.

"I see it."

A few feet in front of you was an open doorway, multiple uniformed people sitting in front of large control panels. Holding your breath, you drew closer to the doorway, daring to peer inside. Standing at the forefront of the room in front of a massive window and more controls was a man in a black uniform, probably a general, discussing something with another crew member.

"Just stick the tracker in a corner or something. Don't stay too long." Poe's voice spoke into your ear.

With the last listening device in hand, you scanned your surroundings and took a step into the control room, spotting one of those structural pillars. The little device was placed into the junction between the wall and the column, unable to be spotted unless someone was really looking for it.

Back on the ship, Poe watched the red dot on his little handheld tracker screen as it moved along the halls of the First Order ship.

"You got it?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Nice work." He grinned. "I knew you could do it. Now get back here and let's split."

"Copy that."

His eyes stayed locked on the red dot traversing the map as he gave you directions. Every few feet, you'd stop, assumably to hide from passerby in the ship, before resuming.

"Almost there." He said.

You were approaching the hangar, only one turn down the hall and you'd be home free.

The dot stopped moving.

A gasp sounded from your end and Poe's heart sank.

"Y/n?"

"Well, well, well. What's this?" A male voice spoke, sounding close to you.

More panicked noises came through, getting quieter before Poe heard a distant "No!" from you before the feed got staticky, a crunch, and then silence.

"Y/n?" The panic in the pilot's voice rose. "Are you there? Do you copy?"

Nothing.

Poe looked out the windshield of the First Order ship he used to sneak in, peering down at the stormtroopers lingering about. Some of them had their hands held to the side of their helmets before turning to look directly at the spacecraft Poe was occupying.

"Blast!" He hissed through his teeth.

Not only had he lost contact with you, but it seems whoever caught you had notified everyone on board. He had no choice but to hightail it out of there, lest he get captured as well.

"Sorry, Y/n." He murmured, sitting upright in his seat and starting up the ship. "New plan."

The stormtroopers below started shooting at the spacecraft as it lifted off the floor, the hangar door beginning to close. Poe pushed the handles on the control panel forward and the ship plowed down the troopers close by.

"C'mon. C'mon." He spoke through clenched teeth, directing the spacecraft towards the exit, picking up speed.

The gap was slowly closing and it seemed Poe wasn't gonna make it. He winced as the top of the ship scraped against the closing hangar door, not doubt denting and scratching the exterior, as it slipped out into the open space.

A sigh of relief left the pilot as he made his escape, silently vowing to come back with a whole team of Resistance fighters to bring you home just as he promised.

You'd been listening to instructions from Poe, coming to a stop to peer around the corner when he told you to take a turn. That's when someone grabbed you from behind, making you gasp. You couldn't see who it was as you struggled in their grip.

"Y/n?" Poe asked.

"Well, well, well. What's this?" A male voice spoke, a gloved hand moving into your peripherals as your earpiece was pulled out and dropped to the floor.

"No!" You exclaimed.

You could barely hear Poe's panicked voice from the device as it fell, clattering to the metal flooring, your captor swiftly crushing it under his chunky black boot.

You writhed in his hold, somehow managing to slip out, stumbling forward and reaching for your lightsaber which you withdrew from its holster and activated it, the green beam humming as it extended from the hilt.

Your enemy, who donned an all-black outfit and a hood that concealed his face, activated his own saber, a blazing red beam lengthening at his side.

With hardly any time to react, you held your lightsaber up, blocking an aggressive attack from the Sith in front of you. Any anxiety you felt was numbed by your survival instincts and the desire to make it back home—if that was even an option anymore. For all you knew, Poe could've abandoned the mission for the sake of safety.

Clenching your teeth, you pushed back against the red beam with all the power you could muster, getting the Sith away just long enough to scramble backwards down the corridor. It didn't take long before he was back on you again, swinging left and right while you blocked and dodged his attempted attacks. Your back hit a door and your free hand felt for a button, pressing it. A hissing sound came from the hatch as the doors slid open and you staggered backwards inside. The area had electrical panels on the wall and was more spacious than the ship's corridor, giving you more room to fight and move around.

The Sith strode into the room with you and swiped at your side, which you barely evaded. In turn, you let out a grunt and swung your weapon at his chest, which he leaned back and avoided with ease.

Straightening his posture, he brandished his lightsaber in preparation, his boots thumping heavily against the floors as he approached. A shout left the hooded man as he swung at you, the saber making a resounding voosh as the blade was forced through the air.

Your eyes widened as his saber collided with yours harshly, the force behind the action making you stumble back slightly, your arms trembling as you tried to push back against it.

You weren't prepared for this.

All that training and you weren't prepared.

With a jerk of his lightsaber, The Sith knocked your weapon right out of your hand, causing it to deactivate and skid across the room.

The cloaked figure held his weapon above his head, spinning while thrusting the blade in your direction, the force of the showy action causing his hood to fly off just as you fell to the ground trying to back away.

"Ugh!" A grunt was forced out of your body as you collided with the floor, your eyes staring down the humming red beam pointed directly at your throat.

Your chest moved up and down rapidly with each shallow breath, looking up at your attacker with wide, horrified eyes as you realized his hood had flown off. Every limb in your body went cold, the blood draining from your face in an instant.

"Seonghwa?"

His hair was longer, reaching just above his shoulders, some of the long strands stuck to his forehead from the intense fight. His eyes, which you remembered being round and full of warmth, were now sharp and cold as ice. Your best friend had fallen victim to the Dark Side.

His eyes widened for just a millisecond at the sound of his name before narrowing, his gaze hardened and full of contempt as if just seeing you brought back unwanted memories.

"What did they do to you?" Your voice came out in a faint whisper of shock and horror.

"They didn't do anything to me."

His tone was harsh and calloused, no sign of the once upbeat and soft-spoken Seonghwa you knew three years ago.

The severity of the situation hit you and you began scrambling back away from the deadly red beam of light in your face, your arm reaching out to bring your own saber back to you. It slowly started rolling towards you only for Seonghwa to stretch an open hand out towards it, intercepting it and throwing the weapon across the room by an invisible force.

"You may have been a better fighter, but you always were a horrible user of the Force." He spat.

The doors to the room hissed and two stormtroopers walked in.

"Take her away." Seonghwa ordered sternly watching you with an unchanging and stoic expression as you were roughly tugged to your feet and dragged out of the room. "Detention cell 1117." He specified.

There were so many things you wanted to say, yet nothing came from your lips. All you could do was stare at Seonghwa with an expression full of confusion and hurt as you were hauled out of the room.

The cell you were placed in was nothing like you expected; it was clean and equipped with a small, but cushioned cot. The stormtroopers shoved you into the room, slamming the door shut, giving you one glance through the gated window before marching away.

You dropped down onto the cot, your trembling knees no longer able to support you, letting you collapse.

Seonghwa.

He didn't run away, he became a Sith. All these years worrying and wondering where he was, if he was okay, asking yourself why he left... and he was here.

How did this happen?

It was the question that kept spinning in your mind, echoing repeatedly.

How did this happen?

There was no way Seonghwa, your best friend, the man you secretly liked, had turned to the Dark Side. It didn't make sense. He never showed any desire to cross over, not that you could recall, anyway.

The dull ache in your heart grew in intensity the longer you thought about what your best friend had turned into.

The heavy thump of approaching footsteps made you lift your head, your eyes locking with those of the man you once knew. The door to your cell swung open and he stepped inside, his presence alone shifting the air in the room.

No words were exchanged at first. All you could do was stare at him, taking in the angry lines etched on his otherwise flawless face. His intense eyes stared you down, the scowl on his face not budging. This new version of Seonghwa was jarring to say the least, but he was still someone you used to know.

"So this is where you ran off to." You murmured.

He didn't speak, staring you down in silence. His lack of response was both perplexing and agitating. Did he have nothing to say?

You scoffed, shaking your head as a spark of anger ignited. "I can't believe you." Your expression was full of emotion, rage fueled by sadness and betrayal. It felt like you'd been punched directly in the heart.

Seeing Seonghwa again wasn't the joyous reunion you imagined it would be—it was much worse. Instead of embracing him in a tearful hug, you had been blocking his aggressive attacks and trying to make it out of the battle unscathed.

As Seonghwa stood just inside the cell, the emotions you felt rapidly turned into fiery anger that unfortunately reared it's ugly head.

"You got weak." You spoke through gritted teeth, your fists clenching.

In a fit of sudden rage, you stood up from the cot and charged at Seonghwa with a shout.

Your breath hitched when you felt a pressure around your throat, your wide eyes staring at the man you called your best friend with a gloved hand outstretched and fingers partially curled. A strained noise left your dry mouth as you clawed at your throat futilely, desperate to get rid of the invisible force that constricted your windpipe.

"You're the weak one." Seonghwa spoke, his voice low and threatening as his extended arm lifted higher, his gaze boring holes into you.

"Pl-please." You choked out, your legs kicking as your feet left the floor, black spots dotting your vision.

His hand squeezed more, curling in just another inch or so and applying more crushing pressure to your windpipe.

"Hwa." You whimpered, your voice nothing but a hoarse and whispered plea.

"Don't call me that." He hissed through clenched teeth. "That name died when Luke did. It's Mars now."

That's the last thing you heard before the black creeping in your peripherals took over.

"Do you ever feel like you have a weight to carry?" You asked Seonghwa, gazing up at the star-dotted galaxy above, seated in a cross-legged position on top of the Millennium Falcon. "Like a burden?"

"A burden?" Seonghwa echoed. "You mean like with glorious purpose?"

You sat there for a moment before shaking your head. "No. That's not it. That's someone else." You paused, reconsidering. "Though maybe it is glorious purpose in a way." You murmured mostly to yourself. "Being Luke's only two apprentices is a huge honor, especially since there aren't many Jedi being trained anymore, but do you ever feel you're expected to be this outstanding prodigy? Like you have all these expectations to live up to?"

Seonghwa hummed thoughtfully. "No. I see it more as a goal to reach."

"But do you think it's attainable? Don't you ever worry you won't be good enough?"

"Of course I worry. Everyone does, but I don't think Luke would've chosen us if he didn't think we were capable." Seonghwa turned to you, his hand sliding over to take hold of yours and give it a squeeze. His touch was warm and brought comfort to you almost immediately, chasing away your worries. "Let's switch to a brighter subject, like lightsabers."

You raised your brows, shooting Seonghwa an unimpressed look at his pun.

"That was completely unintentional."

"Whatever you say." You teased.

"Back on the subject, when do you think Luke will let us build our lightsabers?"

"When he thinks we've earned it, I guess."

"I hope it's soon."

You nodded in agreement, turning back to the stars above, your gaze drifting to look at the distant planets surrounding Ajan Kloss.

"You know, one day we're going to be real Jedi." Seonghwa's voice broke you from your daze.

"I know. Despite the lingering worries, I'm looking forward to the day when our training is complete."

"Can you imagine? The two of us going on missions together, tag-teaming the First Order, taking down the Sith." He held his hands out in front of him, holding an imaginary lightsaber as he mimicked its noises, swinging it left and right.

His little performance made you giggle, his laid back and silly personality always bringing a smile to your face.

"Then maybe I'd do one of these." He held his hand out towards the ground below, a small rock lifting from the grass as it was flung off into the night by an invisible force.

You chuckled amusedly. "Always trying to show off those abilities, huh?"

"No." He grinned softly. "But if you and I are ever in battle and someone gets too close to you, I won't hesitate to Force choke them."

His comment jarred you a bit and you shook your head. "We don't do that."

"I know... but I'd do anything to protect you."

A small noise left the back of your throat when your eyes cracked open, your mind fuzzy as you slowly came to. Your eyelids fluttered, blurred by tears which you blinked away, eyes adjusting to the dim holding cell you'd been tossed into earlier. Bringing a hand up, you wiped the small amount of wetness away from your eyes and propped yourself up on your elbow, wincing when you felt a soreness in your neck. Your hand moved down to your throat, gingerly touching the tender skin, hissing softly at the sensation that followed.

You swallowed back tears that threatened to well up, realizing just how much Seonghwa had changed. He physically hurt you.

Not once did it occur to you that Seonghwa had crossed over to the Dark Side. There wasn't an ounce of evil in him, so it was never a possibility. You just assumed he had given up being a Jedi and went off to another planet to live a life away from the Resistance. Luke's passing hurt both of you and you wouldn't have blamed Seonghwa if he refused to be taught by anyone else.

But that's not what happened.

The Dark Side got to him... or someone.

Seonghwa's eyes watched his superior intently as he paced about the control room, his cape billowing dramatically behind him.

"Why was she here?" The maroon-haired Sith hissed angrily. "How did a Jedi sneak in here?"

"The troopers told me she arrived with someone else on a First Order ship." Seonghwa responded, his hands resting behind his back.

"They have one of our ships?" He spoke through gritted teeth, jaw tightening.

"It appears so."

"Go talk to her. Ask her what she was doing here. Do whatever it takes to get the information if she refuses to talk."

"We have people for that." Seonghwa mentioned, feeling his gut twist uncomfortably at the thought of facing you again.

"I want you to interrogate her. Do you have a problem with that, Mars?"

"No."

"Then do as I say. Interrogate her."

"Yes, Hongjoong."

You sat upright when the door to your cell groaned open, your eyes landing on Seonghwa. Your body moved on its own, scooting back on the cot to put more distance between you both. Perhaps you subconsciously feared him a little now after what he did to you.

He noticed the way you cowered a bit, but his expression remained the same, unchanging and giving away no indications of how it made him feel.

"Why are you here?" He inquired firmly, his voice carrying authority.

His question was met with complete silence. This agitated him, his jaw ticking with annoyance. "Answer me."

"I won't." The words were uttered quietly.

"Why are you here?" He asked again.

You shook your head. "I won't tell you."

Seonghwa lifted his hand and you flinched, waiting for the pressure on your throat. Instead, he lowered his arm, dropping it at his side.

"I know the Resistance sent you." He almost spat the name out in distaste. "Why?"

"You know I'm not gonna tell you."

He let out a small growl, his top lip twitching.

"You're in no position to withhold information from me."

That sparked a bit of annoyance, your almost cowardly behavior changing as you sat up straighter on the cot. "Oh yeah? What about how you withheld information from me?"

Seonghwa's brow twitched at your harsh and sharply-spoken words.

"You didn't think to tell me you were considering running away?"

"Why would I have told you?" His eyes narrowed. "It wasn't your business."

"Because I'm your friend... or at least I was. If something was bothering you, you should've told me."

"Friend?" He scoffed. "You were teacher's pet."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't play dumb. You were Luke's favorite. He always praised your fighting style and nitpicked mine, said I was too showy and aggressive. Well, I found a place that accepted my fighting style—accepted me."

"Luke accepted you, Seonghwa."

"Don't call me that."

"It's your name."

"Not anymore."

There was a long and heavy silence that followed and it almost felt like, in that time, you were mourning the loss of a friend.

"She what?" General Leia stared wide eyed at Poe who'd just relayed to her that you had been captured.

"They got her."

Leia sighed, lowering her head.

"She planted all the devices though." He added. "So we can listen in and see what they're up to."

She nodded. "We need to start getting a rescue team together for Y/n as soon as possible. Until we're able to bring her back, we see what information we can get from the devices she planted. Pull up the audio." She gestured towards Han Solo, who stood beside her.

He messed with the control panel in front of him, pressing buttons until voices came through.

"What do you mean she won't talk?" An angry male voice questioned.

"She won't tell me why she's here." A second male voice spoke, this one deeper than the first. "She refused."

Leia's brows twitched as she and Han shared a look, both of them finding the voice familiar.

"I told you do whatever it takes to get her to talk." The first male continued, sounding more vexed than a few moments prior.

"I—"

"Does this Jedi girl mean something to you, Mars? Are you going soft?"

"No." The response was firm and clipped.

Han reached up to rub at his scruff contemplatively, his mouth downturned in a deep frown. "I know that voice."

Leia turned to him in silent question. She also recognized the voice but couldn't quite place it.

Han sighed, dropping his hand. "It's Seonghwa."

Three days passed, or what you assumed was days. It was hard to tell. Seonghwa continuously came back to question you, sometimes multiple times a day. You refused every time, not daring to give away any information. He often became irate at your refusal and stubbornness, but he never harmed you again.

Seonghwa stood on the opposite side of your small cell, arms crossed and thick brows tugged together, that same scowl on his face.

"You were sent here by the Resistance. Why?"

"You're the one giving them information on our base, aren't you?" You responded to his question with one of your own.

Being locked away, you had time to think. And now that you knew Seonghwa was a Sith and the First Order was working on finding the Resistance base, it only made sense that your old pal was helping and possibly feeding them information.

"No." He denied firmly, his reaction almost coming across as offended that you'd assume such a thing.

"What do you mean no?"

"I haven't told them anything." He hissed through gritted teeth.

That made you pause, whatever response you had prepared died in your throat the second that sentence left his mouth.

"Why?" Was the only word uttered.

"I'm asking the questions here. Why were you sent here? Did Leia send you?"

Your expression hardened, but Seonghwa saw right through it.

He scoffed. "I knew it."

A sharp puff of air expelled from your nostrils as you mentally cursed yourself for not denying it right away. Though there's no telling if he would've believed you or not, especially if he claimed to already know.

"Why did she send you? Why were you lurking the halls?"

"I won't tell you. I'm loyal to the Resistance and I won't do anything to put them in danger."

"Of course you won't." Scoffed Seonghwa again, your answer not surprising. "How loyal of you." His words were laced with venom and mockery as he spat them out.

It made an uncomfortable knot form in your stomach, wondering what lies they fed your friend to make him so full of loathing.

Every interrogation ended with Seonghwa storming out of your cell in a fit of rage, reporting back to Hongjoong with no new information and receiving a harsh verbal assault in return. It was a repetitive pattern and one the former Jedi was growing tired of.

"It's been a week." Hongjoong hissed out, pacing the control room. "And you still have no information for me."

"She refuses to speak."

"Perhaps she needs someone more forceful."

"No!" Seonghwa took a step towards Hongjoong to block him as he attempted to exit the room. He then cleared his throat before repeating in a more stern and confident manner, "No. I have it under control."

"If you had it under control you would've tortured her until she spilled. Then I wouldn't be waiting for intel. I'll interrogate her."

Seonghwa side stepped again. "I said I have it under control." He doubled down on his words.

Hongjoong's expression hardened, his intense gaze searching Seonghwa's face for what felt like an eternity before speaking.

"Three days. If you haven't given me any useful information by then, I'm stepping in."

"Yes, Hongjoong."

The following day, Seonghwa was back in your cell, staring at you with the same stony expression. "When will you give up?"

"Never."

"Tch." He scoffed at your never-ending defiance.

"Why do you keep grilling me?"

"Because you're the prisoner here and my superior wants to know why you were sneaking around the ship like a little womp rat."

Your features twitched in mild agitation at his slightly stinging words. "How do you feel knowing your buddies are trying to track down the location of our home?"

Seonghwa scowled and crossed his arms. "It's not our home."

"It is. You still have a place there, Seonghwa."

"Quit calling me that." He hissed out through gritted teeth.

The room grew quiet and you were left to sit in complete silence for a few moments until you spoke up again with another query.

"You know where the Resistance base is. Why haven't you told them?" You asked, knowing that if he relayed that information to his superiors, the First Order would've already attacked Ajan Kloss by now.

Seonghwa stiffened almost imperceptibly and you wouldn't have noticed if you weren't focused on his body language.

"That's not my business."

"Oh but it is. It's your former home, as you claim, so wether you're willing to accept it or not, you have ties to it. If you despise the Jedi so much why haven't you exposed us?" You questioned pointedly. "Why haven't you given away our whereabouts and watched our planet get destroyed?"

It was clear he was growing indignant, his sharp brows tugging closer together, forming eleven lines between them—a sign he was provoked by your words.

"I'll be back to question you again tomorrow. You'd better be ready to give me what I want or it won't end well for you, Y/n." There was an undertone of foreboding in his words as he turned on the heel of his boot and exited the cell, his black cape billowing behind him.

He paused just outside the room, his dark eyes turning to stare at you through the gated window for a moment before he walked away.

Seonghwa paced around his room, tugging frustratingly at his hair while having an internal battle with himself. Why? Why hadn't he told Hongjoong or anyone on the ship about the Resistance base when he'd been actively watching them follow leads and attempting to track down the group? He knows the location. Not only that, but he's had multiple opportunities to divulge that he knows who you are, yet he's kept his mouth shut. He could've easily said something, so why hadn't he?

His ambivalence on the matter was making his head ache. On one hand, he had grown to loathe the Resistance with every fiber of his being and would do anything to destroy them, but on the other... no.

Seonghwa shook his head, gripping at his hair out of agitation while dropping down to sit on the edge of his bed.

"Don't be weak." He gritted out.

There is no "on the other hand". He despised the Resistance. He didn't care about anyone there.

A ghostly giggle echoed in his mind, your giggle, one he remembered from the past. Along with it came a flash of you sitting across from him with a bright smile on your face, then a fleeting image of Master Luke.

Seonghwa gave an angry shout, standing up and withdrawing his lightsaber, activating the red beam that hummed when extended fully. His shoulders heaved up and down with each labored breath while his eyes scanned the empty bedroom.

His weapon lowered. No one was there. What was he trying to fight? His past?

The lightsaber was deactivated and Seonghwa slowly sat back down on his bed, the mattress sinking under his weight. His grip on the hilt of his saber tightened as his mind wandered back to you. He had to get information out of you or Hongjoong would step in and he didn't want that.

As soon as the revelation passed his conscious mind, Seonghwa froze. Why did he care wether or not Hongjoong interrogated you? He shook his head as if to push away any notions that he still cared for you. He didn't—did he?

"Why did you have to show up, huh?" Seonghwa asked pointedly the next day while trying to interrogate you once again. It was the first question he asked when he entered your prison cell.

"I'm sorry?"

"You've just made everything more complicated!" He spat, letting his emotions run rampant.

Perplexed, baffled, caught off guard—any one of those words or phrases could've described how you felt in that moment. What did he mean?

"I was doing just fine without you." He added, the harshness in his tone unwavering.

You recoiled at his words, murmuring, "I don't understand."

"Of course you wouldn't."

"What are you talking about?"

"This is your fault!" He pointed an accusatory finger at you.

Your wide eyes locked on the tip of his index finger that was directed at you.

"What's my fault? Seonghwa, I—"

He let out a raging shout that reverberated on the metal walls. "There you go again! Just stop!" He dropped his head, gripping handfuls of inky hair, letting out strained sounds through his teeth. His inner turmoil was showing through his aggressive responses and bouts of fury.

"Talk to me." Your gentle words reached Seonghwa's ears, striking him directly in the chest.

Instead of being snippy with your words, you toned it down, especially after witnessing his display of stress. It didn't matter if he was a Sith. That fact didn't erase any of the memories you shared together and you still thought of him as a friend—or at the very least, a friend that could be redeemed.

The kindness in your voice touched Seonghwa, but at the same time it was making things worse for him, leaving him torn between two opposing emotions.

"I left that life behind." He said, his head still buried in his hands. "Seeing you just... stirred things up."

Ever so slowly, you got up off the cot and took a few tentative steps towards him. He didn't realize you were approaching, too caught up in his own emotions. It was only when he felt your hand gently touch his shoulder that he flinched, raising his head.

"Why'd you leave? What happened?" You asked.

"I was upset." He sighed. "I tried to get my anger out by blowing off steam in the training room but that wasn't enough. So I stole a junky ship and took it out to a nearby planet just to get away from everything for a bit." His eyes showed just how much he was struggling as he spoke.

"Go on." You urged him. "I know you might not think so, but you're still my friend."

His eyes met yours, a flicker of warmth growing in his chest and giving him that little push to continue. "I was walking through a little town trying to clear my head when Hongjoong approached me."

"Who's Hongjoong?"

"My superior." He ran a hand through his long messy hair. "He knew right away that I was a Jedi. He took me into a nearby tavern and bought me a drink. We talked. I told him about Master Luke and how it was frustrating sometimes because I felt as if I wasn't enough. He was so... sympathetic. He made me feel important and told me he would be a better teacher than Luke and that I had untapped potential—that I had purpose Luke didn't see."

"He got to you while you were vulnerable." You stated, shaking your head. "He got into your head, Seonghwa."

"No." His brows creased, eyes narrowing as he responded in a stern manner, jerking away from your hand on his shoulder. "He didn't. When he took me in I was able to fight the way I wanted. I got stronger when Hongjoong trained me."

You shook your head. "He manipulated you."

"He didn't." Seonghwa denied firmly. "Because of him, I realized my purpose."

Your expression fell into one of pity and sorrow as you shook your head, realizing just how badly this Hongjoong guy had warped your old friend's way of thinking.

"I shouldn't expect you to understand." Seonghwa remarked bitterly. "You're a narrow-minded Jedi."

His words hurt, punching you directly in the chest. You really thought you were getting somewhere with him.

"This was a mistake." He grumbled, turning to leave. He let himself get too vulnerable.

"Seong—" The cell door slammed shut, making you wince. "...hwa."

Heaving a sigh, you slumped back against the wall in defeat. You almost caught a glimpse of the old Seonghwa. He was opening up, but he still believed Hongjoong was the good guy in this situation. The hold he had on Seonghwa was too strong and you needed to break it.

The Sith's footsteps were heavy, each thump from his boots echoing down the corridor while a violent storm of thoughts swirled around his head. You were so sweet and genuine, it almost reminded him of how things used to be. And that gentle touch of your hand on his shoulder sparked something.

You're getting weak. He could practically hear Hongjoong. Are you really going to let her get to you with all that mushy stuff?

"No."

Seems that way.

Seonghwa's jaw tightened as if this were all happening in real life.

"I said no."

You're still in love with her, Mars.

"I'm not."

He passed by a couple stormtroopers standing guard on that particular cell block, their heads following the Sith as he passed, muttering to himself.

"What are you looking at?" He snarled at the staring pair, his hand raising as a threat to use his Force abilities on them.

"Nothing." They shook their heads frantically.

"Thought so." He spat, continuing down the corridor.

That night was a sleepless one for Seonghwa. He tossed and turned for what was probably hours, unable to even doze off. Tossing back his black sheets, he swung his legs off the bed, letting out a forceful sigh. You really messed with his head... and his heart. He could still feel the way you laid your hand so gingerly upon his shoulder.

He got to his feet and shuffled over to a wooden chest at the foot of his bed, opening the lid and reaching inside, producing your lightsaber from it. After he had you taken away, he picked up the saber and had been keeping it in his bedroom, unable to hand it over to the seized weapons department for some reason. He gazed down almost wistfully at the silver hilt adorned with unique engravings. His thumb absentmindedly traced over the patterns engrained into the metal while his mind wandered back to a memory that had long been locked away.

"Place the energy core near the kyber crystal." Luke instructed, watching you and Seonghwa.

The components of your lightsabers were scattered along the work table as each of you focused on building your respective weapons, listening to each step you were given.

"Next is the focusing ring. Make sure it's calibrated just right or—"

"Or the kyber crysal will crack." You and Seonghwa finished in unison, chuckling in amusement at the situation.

"Yes, or your sabers could explode when you activate them." Luke added.

The pieces were put into place and you moved on to the next step, adding each component until the assembly was complete. Next came the cosmetic aspects of the process, the step that would give your lightsabers their unique appearances.

The both of you were taught how to customize your weapons with Luke by your side to assist when needed. This ritual of sorts meant a lot to you and Seonghwa, as it was a rite of passage, a symbol that you had grown as Jedi.

"I hope my lightsaber is blue." Seonghwa murmured once the assembly was complete, always having favored that color.

"There's only one way to find out." You placed your thumb on the power button of your saber and counted down before activating your respective weapons.

Just as Seonghwa had hoped, a blue beam extended from his hilt and his eyes went wide with excitement. He then turned to look at your humming blade that glowed a unique purple.

"Not many people have that color." He gaped.

Your round eyes stared at the stunning beam in awe, unable to believe that the weapon you wielded was yours.

Seonghwa felt the same, gaping at his own lightsaber, feeling it's weight and ogling at the shiny chrome silver metal of the hilt.

"I'm glad I got to do this with you." You turned and smiled fondly at Seonghwa, your eyes glimmering with unadulterated joy.

He returned that warm grin. "Me too."

A single tear dropped onto the handle of your lightsaber, stirring Seonghwa from his nostalgic daze. He blinked away some of the moisture in his eyes before wiping them, not realizing he had started crying.

He still cared for you.

He still loved you.

Today. Seonghwa had to get answers today or Hongjoong would step in and take matters into his own hands. He decided last night when he couldn't sleep that he didn't want that to happen and he would do whatever it took to get the necessary information out of you.

"How many days has it been?" You asked when you heard the door groan open, your back facing it.

"Ten." Seonghwa responded, standing just inside the room as he'd been doing since day one. "I'm asking again, why were you on the ship? Why were you sent here?"

You rolled over, your expression weary. "So we're back to this?"

Seonghwa didn't answer, his expression showing hardly any emotion. He was there with a task to complete.

"Tell me." He wasn't demanding or hateful, but there was a tinge of urgency in his tone.

You sat up, pushing back your hair with a sigh. "Can we just drop this for a second?"

He appeared unsure, but let out a reluctant exhale and moved across the small space to sit beside you on the bed. It was the first time he'd done so since you were locked away.

"I missed you, y'know." You didn't care if he believed you or not. You had to let him know.

His gaze lifted to meet yours, his eyes becoming round just like your memories recalled.

"It hurt me when you disappeared. I had just lost Master Luke and then I lost you not long after. It crushed me." Your voice was thick with emotion as you spoke. "I always wondered where you were. I worried about you. I lost sleep over you. I never once thought you'd turn to the Dark Side."

"Neither did I, but I fit well here."

"No you don't. That Hongjoong guy got to you while you were vulnerable and took advantage of your weak state. He got in your head and made you feel special. He doesn't care about you like he says he does."

"And how would you know?"

"Because he's a Sith and they're known for being conniving and manipulative."

Seonghwa became quiet, not fully believing your words about Hongjoong being disingenuous, but feeling as if he shouldn't carelessly disregard them either. Despite that, a sense of urgency to defend his superior rose up within him. "Hongjoong was there for me and picked me up when I was at my lowest."

"I could have done that. I would have done that if you hadn't left."

Seonghwa's jaw tightened as an uncomfortable ache became present in his chest. Perhaps guilt?

"I loved you, Seonghwa."

Those next words were a punch directly to the gut, the breath feeling like it was knocked out of him. You loved him? For how long?

He swallowed thickly, his breathing shaky. "Why did Leia send you here? To collect information? To spy?" Again, his tone wasn't demanding, but it was stern.

It hurt not having him respond to your admission, but instead of letting it get to you, you pushed aside your feelings and looked him in the eye. "I won't betray the Resistance. You can keep me here as long as you see fit, but I won't say a word."

It was obvious you didn't realize the magnitude of the situation, but Seonghwa remained somewhat calm, hoping a more gentle approach would coax it out of you.

"You don't trust me anymore?"

"No." Your response was swift. "I don't. You're the enemy now."

"But you said you still saw me as a friend."

"There's exceptions to that statement."

He was getting nowhere with you yet again. However, you did open up about how you felt when he ran away so perhaps there was hope.

"Fine." He stood up and left without another word, hoping to get more time to interrogate.

Hongjoong was discussing something with one of the navigators on the ship when Seonghwa approached. "Ah, Mars." He strode towards his apprentice. "I hope you have good news for me."

"I'm getting through to her."

The redhead's expression fell into one of disappointment and annoyance. "So you haven't got any information out of her?"

"I'm trying to. I've taken a different approach and she's coming around."

"But you still haven't got any information out of her." He stated factually.

"No, not yet. I just need one more d—"

Hongjoong's jaw tightened and he held his hand up, Seonghwa's breath hitching as he was forced aside, the invisible pressure around his throat increasing.

"Three days, I said."

"I... know." Seonghwa choked out.

"I gave you three days and you still have absolutely nothing. You're useless, Mars." He spat out.

Seonghwa gasped for air, his booted feet slipping along the flooring while he was being held slightly off the ground.

Hongjoong released his invisible grip on Seonghwa who fell to his knees, leaned over his hands which were planted on the floor as he took in ragged breaths.

Looking around, he saw some of the control room staff turned in their seats staring at him as he lie crumpled and weak on the floor. Meanwhile, Hongjoong was talking to a stormtrooper as if he hadn't Force strangled his apprentice. In that moment, as he was struggling to bring air back into his lungs he realized you were right. Hongjoong didn't care about him.

You're useless, Mars. The words echoed in his mind on repeat.

"Take me to her cell." Hongjoong's voice reached Seonghwa's ears, causing him to lift his head. "If you want things to get done you have to do them yourself." He complained to the trooper, taking a glance back at Seonghwa with a demeaning expression.

"Wait!" He coughed.

The maroon-haired Sith paused and turned to look down at Seonghwa who was just managing to get to his feet.

"You said three days. The day isn't over yet." He spoke hoarsely, but kept a steady tone so as not to give away how his lungs burned.

"Alright. I want results by the end of the day."

The door to your cell opened up and to your surprise, it was Seonghwa again. He sometimes showed up multiple times a day to interrogate you, but never this quickly. It had only been about ten minutes since he left.

He was rubbing at his throat with a gloved hand, his eyes looking frantic.

Something was wrong.

"Seonghwa?"

"Look, I need you to give me a reason as to why you were sent." There was that sense of urgency in his tone again, more obvious than earlier. And he didn't even snap at you for calling him by his real name.

"What happened?"

"Things won't be good for you if you don't cooperate." He ignored your question and you noticed how scratchy his voice sounded.

It wasn't hard to put two and two together.

"He hurt you."

Seonghwa stiffened and you knew your assumption was correct.

"You have to tell me, Y/n." His gaze turned serious and the desperation in his tone rose. "If you don't..." He hesitated to continue, but did so anyway. "Hongjoong is going to interrogate you instead and he won't be gentle or kind."

You'd known Seonghwa since you were kids and could tell when he was worried, but this wasn't worry—this was fear. All this time you'd refused to speak and all it took for you to crack was for Seonghwa to be in distress.

"I was planting listening devices." You caved, spilling almost immediately.

"Where?"

"In the West corridor near the hangar, in a meeting room, and in the control room where the ship is piloted."

His eyes met yours, turmoil and concern swirling around his brown irises. "I'm sorry it had to be like this."

And that was the last thing he said before turning away and leaving.

"I have news." Seonghwa announced, entering the control room.

Hongjoong turned towards him, an expectant look on his face.

"She cracked."

"It's about time."

"The Resistance base is on Takodana."

"Takodana?" Hongjoong repeated, raising a brow. "She told you that?"

"Yes."

"It's not the information I asked for."

"But it's helpful to us. It's what we've been working towards for weeks." Seonghwa mentioned.

"That's true." Hongjoong gazed out at the vast galaxy.

"Who cares why she was on the ship? We have their location."

Hongjoong nodded, murmuring, "Takodana, huh? Why didn't I think of that? It's a forest planet; the perfect place to go off the grid."

"Exactly."

Hongjoong snapped his fingers, beckoning the First Order's battle coordinator over. "I want you to send a fleet to Takadona right away." He ordered.

"Yes, sir." The man nodded before marching off.

Hongjoong passed Seonghwa, stopping long enough to say, "Maybe you can be useful after all."

His watchful eyes followed the redhead until he left the room before he made any moves of his own, exiting the control area and heading directly for the meeting room.

There was only one room on the ship used for meetings and Seonghwa knew exactly where it was.

Slipping into the empty meeting room, he surveyed the area, checking in crevices and corners before peeking underneath the large circular table in the middle of the area. Sure enough, there was a small device no bigger than the tip of his finger under the edge of the table. Stepping away, he began pacing around, mulling over the gravity of what he was about to do. Taking in a deep breath, Seonghwa prepared himself for what he was about to say, knowing it would change everything.

"I don't know who's listening to this but I need your help. It's me..." He hesitated. "Seonghwa. I don't have time to explain everything but I've just told my superior the Resistance base is on Takodana. They're sending a fleet of troopers that way immediately. Reinforcements here will be low. I need you guys to come and get Y/n out of here." He paused before adding. "Get us out of here. I'm ready to come home."

With a call for help sent out and no time to waste, he could only hope someone was listening as he left the room and put his plan into motion.

He didn't greet you or say a single word when he stepped back into your cell, grabbing your hands and holding them behind your back.

"Come here."

You yelped as you were jerked to your feet.

"Seonghwa? What's going on?" You panicked, wiggling in his hold.

"Be quiet." He hissed, shoving you out the door and down the cell block corridor, stormtroopers watching as he passed.

One of them blocked the way. "What are you doing with her?"

"We've obtained the information we need. She's of no use to us anymore." He responded coldly to the trooper's inquiry.

Every part of your body ran cold upon hearing that and you started writhing even more.

"No! No! Please don't do this!" You cried out.

"I said be quiet!" Seonghwa jerked you harshly before pushing you down the halls once more.

Your breathing was erratic, your hands cold and clammy. Were you really going to die by the hands of your old friend?

Not a single word was spoken while you were guided through the maze that was the First Order ship, awaiting your demise. You were brought to a room and shoved inside, Seonghwa releasing your wrists and caging you against the wall before you could even process it.

"You don't know what you're doing." You spoke shakily. "Please don't kill me. I—"

Seonghwa's lips pressed firmly against yours, effectively cutting off your sentence. A small noise left the back of your throat, your hands pressing against his chest as you fought to keep your eyes from fluttering shut.

He pulled away shortly with a heavy exhale and half-lidded eyes that gazed at you with longing.

"I love you too, Y/n."

Your heart leapt into your throat as he verbally returned your feelings.

"You're... you're not gonna kill me?"

"What? No." He shook his head. "That was just so I didn't raise any suspicions. We're getting out of here."

"We are?" You uttered so quietly you barely heard yourself.

"Yes. This isn't the life for me, Y/n. I miss the Resistance. I miss you. Maybe I was a weak Sith—or maybe my love for you was stronger than the hold of the Dark Side."

"Seonghwa." Taking the sides of his face, you pulled him to your lips, kissing him deeply, this time letting your eyelids slide shut while relishing in the warmth of his mouth.

When you pulled away, he had to blink himself out of the little daze he was in.

"Wow."

"We'd better get out of here alive." You said.

"We will. Just play along."

You nodded. "Got it."

He took your wrists and held them behind your back again to keep up the facade and led you out of the room, back into the ship's corridor. He didn't know how quickly a rescue team could get out there, but if no one had arrived by the time he made it to the hangar, Seonghwa would hijack a ship and get you both out himself.

Your eyes scanned the halls, attempting to look pitiful and helpless when passing stormtroopers or staff. On the inside, however, you were elated that Seonghwa returned your feelings and decided to return to Ajan Kloss with you. Though there was the lingering anxiety of needing to get out safely first. You were still in enemy territory—you both were.

The two of you rounded a corner, nearly running into a man with maroon hair that you didn't recognize, you and Seonghwa taking a few steps back. There was an intimidating  aura about the stranger that made you nervous just by looking at him. His eyes narrowed and he turned to your partner.

"This is the Jedi that snuck onto the ship. Why is she out of her cell, Mars? I didn't approve of this."

"We've got the information we need. I'm disposing of her."

You assumed this was the Hongjoong guy you'd been told about and was quick to lower your gaze to the floor, trying to appear non-threatening.

"And why would you dispose of her?"

As they exchanged words, Seonghwa could tell he wouldn't be able to pull this one off. Hongjoong was asking too many questions and wondering why Seonghwa was making decisions on his own without consulting him first.

You too were feeling as if things were about to go south and began worrying about how to defend yourself. It was at that moment you felt something cool being pressed into your palm that was behind your back. Your fingers curled around the object and realized it was a lightsaber—your lightsaber.

"What's really going on here?" Hongjoong inquired. "You've been odd since this little Jedi showed up." He regarded you with a curt jerk of his head, not bothering to look your way.

"I already told you, I'm disposing of her."

"See..." Hongjoong's hand imperceptibly inched towards his lightsaber at his hip. "I just don't think I believe you."

Your eyes widened and you were quick to reveal your lightsaber, activating the purple beam that hummed to life just as Hongjoong withdrew his own weapon. Seonghwa was holding out his lightsaber as well, ready to fight by your side.

"Ah." Sardonic amusement flickered across Hongjoong's features at the sight of his apprentice. "I see. You've switched sides."

Seonghwa's expression hardened and he pointed the end of his red lightsaber at the man. "I'm not afraid to fight you."

"Well you should be." Hongjoong spoke roughly before stepping forward and taking a swipe at both of you.

Leaping back, you two dodged his attack, retaliating with some of your own, both of you swinging your weapons at the Sith who was able to block every single one. You attempted to take a jab at him, but his red beam came up underneath your purple one and pushed it away, making you stumble at the physical force behind the action. He twisted his upper body and held his saber up to block an attack from Seonghwa that followed after yours.

It was clear this man was well-trained and even though he was outnumbered, he was managing to fight both you and Seonghwa without much of a struggle. Taking a step back to put some space between you and the enemy, you continued fighting back.

As soon as he saw an opening, Seonghwa took hold of your wrist. "Come on." He hissed urgently and tugged you down the ship's dim corridors in the opposite direction, fleeing the area.

"You're running away like a coward, Mars!" Hongjoong shouted after him.

"Where are we going?" You asked, pushing past a stormtrooper that stood in the way.

"Get them!" Hongjoong roared in the distance.

"Somewhere away from him." Seonghwa responded, keeping a tight hold on your wrist while guiding you through the steel and metal maze.

While your first priority was to survive, questions started piling up. Questions like: Would you survive? Would you even make it off the ship? Would you ever get back home?

"Here." You were snapped out of your daze by Seonghwa's voice as you were pulled into an open space, a grated walkway stretching across an endless canyon.

Unable to see the bottom of the foggy abyss below, your heart rate spiked.

"Hey, it's alright. Just stay close." Seonghwa gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, hurrying across the bridge. "We can still make it to the hangar from here."

"There you are."

You both froze at the sound of Hongjoong's voice, spinning around to face him as he approached with an intense and almost psychotic look in his sharp eyes.

"Stay back." Seonghwa was quick to push you behind him and rush forward to engage in battle with his ex mentor. You leaned against the railing of the grated walkway, looking on with wide eyes.

Seonghwa let out a grunt when Hongjoong's saber clashed with his, pushing against it. With clenched teeth and trembling hands, he shoved back and managed to get Hongjoong off of him. The Sith let out a low sound of disproval and swung once more, relentlessly attacking Seonghwa and giving him no time to fight back. All he could do was block and guard himself from the onslaught. You couldn't stand watching the battle persist without you. There was no telling how long Seonghwa could maintain his defenses until he was worn out. With no one to watch his back or help take the pressure off, you feared he wouldn't make it out of the fight unscathed.

"What happened? You used to beat me all the time during our practice battles." Hongjoong talked down to Seonghwa in a derisive tone.

The ex Sith let out a low noise from the back of his throat while taking a swing at the redhead who merely leaned back to avoid the humming beam of light.

"You're weakened already." He remarked snidely. "Do you really want to go back to being a spineless Jedi?"

Instead of responding, Seonghwa narrowed his eyes and took another swing at Hongjoong only for him to dodge again.

"You belong here."

"I don't!" He snapped. "I never did."

"I took you in."

"You took advantage of me!"

"And you became a powerful Sith because of it. So you should be thanking me."

"Thanking you?" Scoffed Seonghwa. "For what? Turning me into an evil monster?"

Hongjoong let out a huff of amusement. "For showing you your true potential, Mars. So tell me, are you with me or against me?"

"My name is Seonghwa." He grit out through his teeth.

"Very well. Chitchat is over." Hongjoong used his foot to kick Seonghwa back, his body colliding with the steel flooring of the bridge. A grunt was forced out of him, his deactivated lightsaber now lying by Hongjoong's foot.

"You don't need this anymore." He said, kicking the weapon off the side of the walkway and into the abyss below.

"No. Stop!" You shouted, rushing towards the two, unable to stand by any longer. You didn't care if Seonghwa told you to stay back, he needed your help.

Hongjoong held up his free hand, a powerful force pushing you back so vigorously you were sent through the air. You yelped, landing roughly on the grates as your lightsaber skidded across the platform. The breath was knocked out of you during impact, your throat and lungs attempting to work correctly again while you gasped for air.

"This is what happens when you betray me, Mars." Hongjoong spoke in an eery singsong voice.

Your eyes widened as he moved to stand over Seonghwa, lightsaber positioned and ready to strike. A sudden burst of energy and determination hit you as well as a wave of burning hatred towards the maroon-haired Sith, fueling your need to protect Seonghwa.

Your hand shot out towards your deactivated weapon, wheezing and coughing as you focused your energy. The saber shot from its position at the edge of the bridge and straight into your palm. Gripping the hilt of the lightsaber, you got to your feet and rushed over.

"This is the end for you." Hongjoong reared back and went to swing his glowing blade down on Seonghwa. As he did so, your purple beam was thrust forward, blocking his before it could even get close to doing any damage.

"What?" Hongjoong hissed out, his eyes drifting up to meet yours that burned with rage.

"I don't think so." You spoke lowly, pushing upwards and using your lightsaber to shove his away.

Seonghwa stared up at you in both shock and awe, using the opportunity to scramble back out of the crossfire as you went after Hongjoong with vigor.

"Do. Not. Come. Near. Him." You spat out between attacks, punctuating your words with each clash of your blades.

"Oh. Well, this is certainly interesting." Hongjoong chuckled over the sounds of battle.

Your lightsabers made that familiar electric sound as they collided, swinging in every direction possible. Any time you saw an opening, you went for it, even if Hongjoong blocked. There was no pattern to your attacks, just endless swipes and vicious swings.

"You took him away from me!" You raged, slinging your lightsaber at him while he struggled to fight back. "Three years!"

He stumbled while trying to back away, blocking your relentless hits.

A flicker of panic flashed across Hongjoong's face as you continued to shout at him and deliver swing after swing. Up until that point, he had defended himself and didn't show an ounce of fear. Clearly, he wasn't expecting you to go into a blind rage, but seeing him preparing to end Seonghwa's life kicked you into gear.

Your saber came at him from the side, which he deflected, but you didn't care, redirecting and taking a different approach. He hissed when you managed to swipe at his arm, tearing the fabric of his sleeve and slicing his skin underneath.

"Look at you trying to defend your boyfriend. Such mindless violence. You would've made a good Sith." Hongjoong grunted out while trying to provoke you despite the fact that you clearly had the upper hand.

"Shut up." You grit out, slinging the purple beam you wielded at his leg, causing him to yelp in pain, pressing his free hand to his calf where the fresh cut was.

"I'm impressed." He panted heavily, looking up at you. "You're putting up quite the fight."

He tightened his hold on his lightsaber as your eyes narrowed. The humming beam in his grip came barreling towards you, making you jump back. He gave you no time to retaliate, coming at you again. At the last second, you held your hand out, fingers outstretched as his weapon came to a stop in midair just a few inches from you. The heat radiating from the blazing light brushed your palm, but it wasn't enough to deter you. Hongjoong's cocky expression fell, his eyes darting between you and your hand which was keeping his lightsaber in place. He pushed down, trying to complete his action, his brows pulling together at the effort and exertion. Your hardened gaze stayed locked on the Sith as you moved your open hand forward, forcing the beam further away until you pushed it aside. He stumbled back, releasing a low guttural sound from the back of his throat.

"Not bad... for a Jedi."

Your jaw tightened at his backhanded comment. "You talk too much."

Blinded by anger, your free hand shot out, using the Force to launch him backwards across the bridge and all the way into the halls of the ship where he landed harshly against a wall. He winced upon impact, sliding down and crumpling on the floor in a heap.

The adrenaline coursing through you slowly started to wear off, your shoulders heaving up and down with each breath.

"I thought Jedi didn't Force choke?" Seonghwa asked amusedly from behind you while getting to his feet, referring back to something you said to him years ago.

"That was a Force push. There's a difference." You remarked with a small grin, deactivating your lightsaber and sliding it into its holster.

"That was... kinda hot."

You turned to him as he came to stand by your side, a hint of a smirk playing at your lips. "Was it?"

"It was." He confirmed, taking your hand. "Now let's get out of here."

The both of you hurried across the grated walkway and past Hongjoong's unconscious form, heading back the way you came, your footsteps thumping against the metal floors.

"Hongjoong ordered a fleet of ships to Takodana." Seonghwa mentioned while you moved down the halls. "There won't be as many reinforcements here, so we should be able to make it to the hangar without too much trouble."

"Takodana?" You echoed confusedly.

"I told him that's where the Resistance base was."

A fluttery feeling blossomed in your chest. He lied to his mentor to protect the Resistance members.

"Thank you."

He gave you a small smile, squeezing your hand. "You're welcome."

After turning a corner, you were met with a cluster of stormtroopers that jumped into action and began blasting at both of you the moment you were spotted.

Seonghwa grabbed you, tugging you around the corner and out of the line of fire.

"Well, this is a problem." You breathed out heavily. "We're outnumbered and you don't have a weapon."

"Yeah. Though we might be able to make it if we make a run for it and do our best to dodge. Their aim is horrible anyway."

"Not if we're close enough to shoot." You pointed out.

While you and Seonghwa were strategizing, the thud of something heavy falling to the floor came from where the stormtroopers were, followed by another thud and another. Preceding each thump was the sound of a blaster of some sort, but it was different than that of a trooper. The rap of footsteps heading your way made you both tense up and prepare to defend yourselves until a familiar face rounded the corner.

"Someone call a rescue team?" Han Solo asked with a grin.

"Han." You let out a mix between a laugh and a sigh of relief. "How did you know we needed help?"

"Seonghwa told us using one of the listening devices you planted."

"You heard me?" He asked, relieved that his call for help didn't fall on deaf ears.

"We were listening the whole time. We had a team of Resistance members monitoring the audio at all times." Han responded. "Now let's get you two outta here."

He beckoned you both forward, bringing you around the corner to find stormtroopers scattered about on the floor, each of them sporting one or more holes in their chests, their armor marred by burn marks.

"You took them all out by yourself?" You asked, stepping over one of the bodies.

"I've had lots of practice, kid." Han responded, moving on down the corridor.

The three of you jogged through the halls, proceeding quickly while sweeping the area. Your escape wasn't an easy one as more stormtroopers came up from the opposite direction, blocking the way.

"Stop right there!" One of them shouted, holding his blaster.

Han Solo pointed his own gun at the group of armor-clad troopers while you activated your lightsaber again. When they saw you were going to put up a fight, an onslaught of red plasma blasts blurred past. You moved in, ducking and dodging shots while taking a swing at the nearest stormtrooper's legs. He shouted in pain and fell to the ground, giving Han an opportunity to take him down while he was vulnerable.

Seonghwa, weaponless, used his Force abilities to push away the troopers that got too close, shoving them into one another. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to stop them.

"Hey, kid!" Han Solo called out to Seonghwa. "Thought you might need this so I brought it just in case." His glossy chrome lightsaber was tossed over. "Found it in Y/n's room."

Seonghwa's eyes widened, looking at you with surprise. You were about to ask Han why he was even in your room to start with, but Seonghwa spoke before you could.

"You kept my lightsaber in your room?"

Your cheeks were set aflame at his question before you shot one back at him without thinking. "Where were you keeping mine, huh?"

Now it was Seonghwa's turn to become flustered, his ears turning red.

Oh.

"Now's not the time for all this." Han spoke gruffly, using his blaster to hit a stormtrooper.

"Sorry." You and Seonghwa spoke in unison, his blue lightsaber activating.

A smile that couldn't be suppressed no matter how hard you tried spread across your face, a wave of nostalgia and joy filling you at the sight of him. It was just like old times.

Seonghwa lunged forward with a shout, you following behind with renewed vigor as you both went at the stormtroopers, knocking their blasters out of their hands and swinging your sabers, slicing through their armor easily. Any troopers you or Seonghwa didn't get were swiftly shot down by Han.

"I think that's all of them." You huffed out.

"Well then let's get out of here before more show up." Han Solo nodded with his head, urging you and Seonghwa forward.

Much to your relief, the three of you made it to the hangar where thankfully no stormtroopers were lingering about. Your feet moved faster, following behind Han to the opening of the hangar, looking around for his ship.

"Where's—"

His loud whistling cut you off as he waved his arm in the air, signaling something out in space. Seconds later, the Millennium Falcon came flying around the back of the First Order vessel.

"Step back." Han ordered as the Falcon eased into the hangar, the loading ramp extending from the bottom. "Come on, come on." He ushered you and Seonghwa up into the ship where you both followed him to the cockpit where Chewie was manning the controls.

Chewbacca stood up so Han could take his place, a joyous noise leaving him when he saw Seonghwa standing there beside you. He was immediately pulled into a big hug by the Wookie who was elated at the long-awaited reunion.

"I missed you too." Seonghwa chuckled, patting Chewbacca's back.

You too were pulled into a tight embrace, laughter bubbling up out of you.

"It's good to see you, big guy." You told Chewie, pulling away.

"Alright everyone, buckle up and hold tight. We're getting the heck outta here." Han Solo said.

Seonghwa's return to Ajan Kloss was a momentous occasion; he was welcomed back with open arms and firm handshakes, but not from Leia. From Leia, he received a suffocatingly tight hug.

"We're happy to have you back." She murmured tearfully, smiling up at Seonghwa. "And thank you for your distress call. Han insisted on being the one to bring you two back."

"Really?" You asked.

"Yes. We were getting a rescue plan together but it wasn't ready to be executed. As soon as we heard the call for help, Han started prepping to leave right away."

"Y/n, you're alive!"

You turned to see Poe walking over with Finn following behind.

"No thanks to you." You teased, giving him a hug.

"Hey now, I came right back here and told everyone you'd been captured." He defended lightheartedly, his eyes drifting to your friend standing beside you. "Ah. You must be Seonghwa! This girl right here talks about you nonstop. I wish I knew where Seonghwa was. I hope Seonghwa comes back. You would've liked Seonghwa. I hope we find—"

"Okay." Finn came up, chuckling awkwardly and grabbing Poe by the shoulders, slowly pulling him away. "That's enough out of you."

To celebrate your rescue and Seonghwa's return, the droids and cooks prepared a massive meal for the camp. The both of you stuck around the tent for a while to chat with Resistance members before deciding to go off somewhere for a little privacy. And that place was atop the Millennium Falcon.

"I missed the food here." You sighed fondly, rubbing your stomach. "The meals I was given on the First Order ship weren't great... no offense."

"None taken." Chuckled Seonghwa. "It was subpar at best. Even when I was a Sith I missed the food here."

You laughed softly, gazing up at the stars like you'd done years ago, seated with your legs crossed. When you turned back, Seonghwa was looking at you and had leaned in closer.

"This is nice." He murmured softly.

"What is?"

"Being up here with you."

Fighting back a smile, you responded. "And why's that?"

"Because I can finally give you a proper kiss."

He leaned in and placed his lips gently on yours, tentatively at first. Your eyelids fluttered shut and you allowed yourself to get lost in the moment now that you were both home and safe. His hand slid around to cup the nape of your neck, guiding you to lie back while his lips slowly danced over yours, making you melt. Once you laid down, he leaned over you and depended the kiss by tilting his head and picking up the pace. A mix between a soft sigh and a hum left you, your hands moving up to run through his long locks.

"I love your hair like this." You murmured against his lips.

"Yeah? You like it longer?"

"I do." You brushed your digits through it, making his eyelids flutter, a low noise leaving him before he dove back in for a passionate kiss that took your breath away. His hand that wasn't cradling the nape of your neck slid down your side to feel your curves through the fabric of your gray tunic.

Your fingers gripped at his inky hair, making him groan against your mouth, sending a flurry of butterflies to your stomach. His pillowy lips captured your bottom one, surrounding it in warmth before he encompassed your mouth wholly with his and making your head spin in the process.

When he pulled away, you were both panting shallowly, looking at each other with half-lidded eyes that were glazed over with adoration and longing for one another. It was a picture perfect moment; you and the man you loved lying under the stars together, reunited at last.

"I love you." Seonghwa murmured reverently, caressing your cheek tenderly with his thumb as you both gazed at one another lovingly.

You smiled softly at him before responding, "I know."

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[necrotic-nephilim]

for the ask game, an AU where (somehow…) jason and tim (begrudgingly) team up in the search for a hero/battle for the cowl era (either when jason says tim should work with him on the gang stuff or when batman jason asks tim to be his robin) :]

for the ask game!

god, Search For A Hero my beloved. for the Search For A Hero version of their team-up, I think I'd write it something like this

I think the biggest reason Tim says no when Jason asks him is Jason asks Tim too early in the arc. as the storyline develops, Tim gets more and more desperate to best Ulysses, which is what pushes him to make the mistake that gets Ulysses' siblings killed. he's in a tight spot and he misjudges the situation. (i think the guilt he carries from that moment is one of the biggest inciting incidents for becoming Red Robin) so, i'd introduce Jason to the plot just a little later. just as Tim is on the edge of desperation. Tim isn't entirely adverse to working with villains if he thinks he can stay on top of them. so instead of sending Jason to prison, i think if Jason came to Tim at the right time, Tim would begrudging accept Jason's help

part of Tim's plan would be leveraging Jason's power with the mafia/mob scene in Gotham. they'd agree that topping the gangs would just cause a power vacuum (i'm pretty sure that's actually addressed in SFAH but i could be misremembering) so it's more about a balancing act, which is where Jason thrives. Tim is right on the cusp of being willing to do more morally questionable things, so it'd be a fun internal war for him to second-guess himself at every turn.

there would be such a delightful lack of trust in their partnerships. TIm has *zero* reason to trust Jason, and while Jason likes Tim enough, i don't think he's naive enough to put any trust in Tim. so there'd be moments where they don't fill each other in on aspects of the plan. Jason kills people behind Tim's back, Tim keys in his cop friend behind Jason's back. it builds the tension between them with a lot of hot arguments that get more and more charged.

the jealousy. there would just have to be a scene where Jason gets wildly jealous over Ulysses' complex over Tim. Ulysses tries so hard to pit himself as like, Tim's biggest adversary, his opposite. and Jason would *despise* that. sure, Jason is working with Tim, but part of the fun is that they're still enemies as they do it. i think it'd be sort of fun to have the moment where Ulysses blows Tim up be something Jason witnesses and he raises unholy hell about. because if anyone is going to kill Tim Drake, it's going to be him. and that angry possessiveness is what makes the romantic/sexual tension something neither of them can ignore anymore.

Tim deciding to put on the Red Robin suit to fight Ulysses would be where Jason just. goes full tilt possessive "he's mine i marked him that's my suit. see. mine. i said so." and Tim would push back but. what ground does he have to stand on bc he could've picked any suit with any cowl to protect his head after the blast, but he did choose Jason's. it was his own open invitation to Jason in a way. and well. they fuck nasty about it. and then Damian becomes Robin, so why not Tim keep the suit and just maybe, keep Jason in his back pocket.

and!! for the Battle for the Cowl version. man on one hand i love "Tim accepts Jason's offer to be his Robin" fics but i feel they lack a bite to them, so this is personally how i would try to pull it off, while being relatively in character.

so the biggest thing for me is, TIm agrees to be Jason's Robin not because he trusts or likes Jason, but for the same reasons he became Robin in the first place: to keep Batman stable. being Jason's Robin isn't about wanting to work with Jason, it would be Tim knowing there's no world Jason is ever going to stop and seeing Jason slowly tip over the edge of madness and well. if Tim was self-sacrificial enough to do it for Bruce and attempt to do it for Jean-Paul, he can do it for Jason.

him agreeing would i think startle Jason. like, Jason's offer was never particularly serious because he's at the point he knows Tim wants nothing to do with him. so when Tim says yes it sort of. snaps Jason out of the rage BftC puts him in. he's so startled but enticed by the thought, he willingly agrees to stipulations Tim sets, like no murder. like even if just to see where this goes, Jason jumps on the chance.

i'd really want to keep Dick and Damian as Batman and Robin, and the weird divide that would exist with Dick/Damian and Jason/Tim both running around as Batman/Robin and how off kilter that puts Gotham. like Gotham is so baffled by it, it actually makes criminals easier to handle. because they have no clue if they're getting the Batman who needs Robin to keep him in line, or the Robin who needs Batman to keep him in line. people know there's two Batmans, two Robins and no one knows quite what to do with that information. who's the "real" Batman? who's the "real" Robin? and on the personal level, the divide between Dick and Tim would be unmistakable. Dick would know what Tim's doing and try to convince him Jason is a lost cause bc well, Dick at this point *really* believes Jason is a lost fucking cause. So Dick's genuine care and concern for Tim just drives a further wedge between them.

i think there'd need to be a scene where Tim flat out asks if Jason even *wants* to be Batman. in a sort of attempt to slowly ween Jason off of being Batman, but also because i don't think Jason ever really wants to be Batman, he just wants Batman to be what his vision of justice is. and it'd be the first real heart to heart they have, discussing the legacy of the Robin and Batman mantles and how it's affected them. it'd be heated, but it'd be their first real conversation as just. Jason and Tim.

to me, i think the end goal of this AU would be Tim successfully "taming" Jason, and not in like a soft way, but in like a manipulative way, where even Jason knows that's what Tim is doing, but he just goes along with it because it's the first real human connection he's had in a while. also, i would work in Scarlet, Jason's sidekick in Batman & Robin (2009) as like. a pseudo daughter figure for them to help Jason find his humanity a bit. so it's not just Tim as Jason's rock, but also this misguided girl they'd both try to help. and well, then they ride into the sunset and all that, but still have a complicated, toxic dynamic they're both aware is unhealthy, but as balanced as it can be.

[loftec]

Shameless DVD Commentary: None the wiser

I was tagged by a lovely anon over at @shamelessdvdcommentary to do this, thank you! Here we gooo

Which fanfic is your DVD commentary about?

The people (11 out of 20) have spoken! None the wiser

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

First published: 2015-09-23 (coming up on 9 years what is time??)

Last updated: 2021-12-11 (holy heck that's... shit! I'm sorry!)

Words: 218,480 and counting

Chapters: 53/68

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

A little bit of everything, mostly I'd been reading a lot of Shameless fic at the time and really wanted to write something that was both a really quite basic diner/coffee shop AU, but The Most version of it. The slowest burn, the most diner AU. I had no ambition for people to like it but I wanted it to be Known. If anyone ever asked for a diner fic, they'd HAVE to say, well, NTW is The Most diner fic we've got. If someone asked for slow burn, people would sigh and say, WELL, this one over here is the worst, but it is very slow. And also I was inspired by Before Sunrise / Before Sunset, and working in the music industry.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

I chose Mickey specifically because of the Concept, that Ian decides when the chapters start and end (with some exceptions) by going to the diner, but we're limited to Mickey's POV. Generally I think Mickey is easier for me to write, too, he's got a really strong voice and I like looking at the world (and Ian) through his eyes.

What was your favourite scene to write?

The whole banter/walk scene in chapter 44 when they leave the venue:

“Sure you and your lips can do whatever you set your heart to,” he says, “I believe in you.” Ian is silent, and when Mickey risks a glance in the direction of him and his non-trumpeting goddamned marvelous lips, Ian is looking at him like he’s some kind of unsolved mystery. ”What?” Mickey asks, frowning at him when Ian smiles. “Just a thought,” he says. ”You’ve been flirting with me since we first met, haven’t you?”

I had that whole back and forth leading up to the first kiss in my head for years before I got to finally got around to write it and I still love it.

How did you come up with the title?

It's from a song, one of the core songs I associate with this fic. My playlist now has 149 tracks on it, but the ones I consider "core songs" are None the wiser, Day After Tomorrow, Let's Dance, How I Made My Millions, Not Dark Yet, and Mosquitoes. I'm not sure I can explain why, but None The Wiser came on randomly when I was doing dishes and thinking about this fic I was writing, and the vibes just lined up in my head. Also I think it fits this version of Mickey I'm writing, who knows so much and has so much experience, but refuses to understand what's happening when Ian walks into his life.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

Oh, wow. Yeah. I always reference silly little things and I just have to hope people understand them, or tolerate them at least. I think one of my favourite bit of foreshadowing is in chapter 39 when people keep staring at Ian because they obviously recognise him, but Mickey thinks staring at Ian is a completely reasonable thing to do and is mostly just annoyed over how blatant they're being.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

I am struggling right now lol, I had meticulous notes for what I wanted to happen for every single chapter up until 45, and now half of them say "they text all day" and I'm like THANKS!!! VERY HELPFUL!! Also life and writers block etc etc.

Favourite line in the story?

This is such a hard choice, so I'll just go with this one from chapter 42:

“So,” Ian says, sitting back to sweep his arms out in a wide motion, presenting his solution. “I think we should go out for breakfast sometime.”

Because to me it pinpoints the moment when Ian breaks the format, in a way? They have met outside the diner before, but only on accident, and here Ian realises that it might be a problem that they only ever hang out at Mickey's job. But metatextually, he also highlights the narrative crux they're stuck in. I don't know, is that a boring favourite line? I have many, and I grabbed the first one I saw so I wouldn't get stuck rereading the whole fic lol. Do you have a favourite line?

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

So much, it's hard to believe because there isn't too much of a plot, but so much. My planned ending is so far from what it was when I started out, which is maybe one blessing that comes from how long it's taking me to write it, I have time to rethink things. I can't really talk about it now without spoiling the actual ending, but you better believe I will expose myself once we get to it.

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this?

I'd written fic for a different fandom ten years earlier, but nothing in this style I don't think, and this was my first time writing since I was 20 and stopped writing jrock rpf. I suppose I'm still writing about music, though!

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

One of the things I've always wanted to do with writing for Ian and Mickey is to let them have conversations, have things in common, and be friends. Because I think they were in canon, we just never got to see it (in the first 5 seasons, careful what you wish for). Guess I'm saying I'm proud of the bants!

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

I don't think so! I mean, maybe the last 15 chapters? I kid! They will make it!

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

There is one line Ian says where, when I wrote it, I was like; this is the first time Ian thinks "I love you" but says something else. Cannot remember what or where right now, and I don't want to try and find it, it's late! Submit your guesses here, I might find it over the weekend if I have some time to look. Also, it's like one of those silly I love yous, one of the early ones, full of potential and feeling but perhaps lacking a bit in substance, but he thought it and I saw him thinking it!

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

Eh *coughs* I might already have, and I apologise. The worst part about writing something this slowly and posting the chapters as I go is that the fic isn't finished and so I feel like it's fine for me to sometimes go back and edit already published chapters. It's not right but I... will still do it. Sorry! A most embarrassing example is when, not too long ago, we discussed the layout of the diner here and I went back to the first chapter to see how I had described it, and it had changed in so many ways over the years? Small round tables?? The tables haven't been round since 2016!! So that's a very clear case of something having become canon for all the hundred little times I've thought of the tables as square while writing vs that one time in chapter one I carelessly said they were round.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

Yes! So many! Or maybe not a sequel, that suggests another part of equal size. But little bits of stories, yes!

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?

Yes! Like I said, my only aim was to annoy my way to fandom infamy. Turns out it's so much more fun to actually connect with people and write something with someone else in mind, besides myself. I feel so lucky that so many people have connected with NTW over the years <3

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Mostly just excited, I think! I still am, whenever I get to post something : )

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

No, I probably should have but I have a very hard time showing things to people when they're not finished.

Ask your followers to pick a snippet (no more than 500 words) and share your thoughts about it.

Add snippets in the replies and I'll share thoughts, if you want!

Thanks for reading! <3 <3 <3

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  @wynnyfryd! Wynnyfryd has 34 fics in the Stranger Things fandom and all of them are in the Steddie tag!

i don’t know, you figure it out

Plot Holes

biting you biting you biting you- oh! kissing you!

Satanic Ritual: DO NOT WATCH!!

She's got some of the FUNNIEST writing in this fandom, and it's very snappy too like. She's an editing demon for sure, she can take a concept that I'd think would take paragraphs to explain and find the right words to make it hit just as hard with like, two sentences. I also really really love how descriptive her metaphors are, really visceral sometimes, and she's really good at writing realistic life events but still making them fun to read about even when it's about like, devastating shit. The sex she writes is also intense as hell! -- @griefabyss69

Below the cut, @wynnyfryd answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I am but a humble bisexual — I see two beautiful brown-eyed men makin’ beautiful brown eyes at each other, I go a little insane for two years. It is what it is.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

late-night moments of quiet hopeful hesitant intimacy over a shared joint or cigarette. Thin wisp of smoke between them, stars dancing in their eyes. Yeah. YEAHHHHHHH 

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

This isn’t really a trope so much as a dynamic, but I love a good dipshit 4 dingus dialogue-heavy scene. Don’t get me wrong, I think Eddie and Steve can both be very smart and knowledgeable in their areas of interest/expertise, but these are two young dudes with no access to the internet. I love letting them be confidently incorrect dumbasses. Just ‘yes and’-ing each other’s stupidity while an exasperated third character begs for mercy.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

Well, this question is impossible and furthermore rude. This question came into my home and didn’t take its muddy boots off. This question never mailed me a thank you letter for my lovely wedding gift. That blender was expensive; the absolute nerve. No but seriously, I think The Lathe by palmviolet is going to stay with me forever.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I’m a big fan of doing canon divergence from different jumping off points — the beauty of having characters live in the same small town their whole lives is that you get so many great opportunities for these “what if our paths crossed sooner” moments.  I have some very loose notes for a S3 fic where Eddie is the movie theater employee who finds Steve and Robin in the bathroom after they escape the Russians, and I also have an old WIP set between S1 and S2 where lifeguard Steve rescues Eddie and then spends the summer teaching him how to swim. Would love to revisit those after I finish the trailer park AU (which I will be referring to as TPAU because my fingers are tired and because ‘toilet paper au’ makes me laugh.)

What is your writing process like?

Uhhhhh. 😂 I mean, for TPAU, basically just insert the scene from Dune 2 of Paul’s first sandworm ride: I’m shaking I’m sweating there is sand in my nostrils and I am surely about to die— oh wait, maybe I’ve actually got this? Am I actually doing it? Oh shit, look at me go!   For one-shots I like to use a more structured outline and bracket method. I start by dividing my doc into numbered scenes, with each scene getting a notes section and a prose section, like this:

This format gives me a lot of freedom to switch up the order of scenes and to move between scenes so I avoid writer’s block. I can also jump ahead to scenes I really want to write without making a mess of my outline. Once I have something written in the prose section of each scene, I go back and work on replacing each bracket with prose until there are no brackets left. Lastly, I create a new blank doc and copy the prose over in order so I can read the full fic and work on edits from there.  

Do you have any writing quirks?

I have been known to abuse a semicolon. And an em dash. And a conjunction at the start of a sentence. Yes, I do have ADHD.   I’m also a lyricist, so I feel like my prose tends to stray into poetry territory pretty often.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

When I’m finished! Which is probably why I tend to stick to one-shots; I get impatient and want to post stuff the second it’s ready.

Which fic are you most proud of?

‘i don’t know, you figure it out’ for SURE. I’ve never written a fic this long or stuck to a writing project this consistently in my life. Like ever. The last time I even came close was my first NaNoWriMo when I was 16, which was, uh… years ago, plural, and I’ll leave it at that. 😂

How did you get the idea for i don’t know, you figure it out?

“There’s a dead rat on his doorstep.” That’s it. That first sentence/scene popped into my head while I was bored at work, and then I started thinking, “hey, you know what? I don’t know that anyone’s ever done a fic where Max and Steve trade places for S4; that might be fun.”  And then NaNoWriMo was coming up, so I thought it would be cool to try live posting a fully improvised fic every day for a month to see how many words I could write. And then this tragic wet cat version of Steve Harrington grabbed me by the throat and took over my whole life.

When writing Satanic Ritual: DO NOT WATCH!!, what was something you didn’t expect?

How SAPPY these two got!! My god, boys, I’m trying to write smut over here, stop having a beautiful existential crisis! (I blame Briston Maroney for that though lol, I think I listened to ‘Body’ like 1400 times that month.)

What inspired Satanic Ritual: DO NOT WATCH!!?

@inklessletter posted this totally gorgeous art of Steve and Eddie recording themselves kissing, and I promptly lost my mind.  

What was your favorite part to write from biting you biting you biting you- oh! kissing you!?

This exchange: Steve: “What? I’m just asking!” Robin: “You’re being embarrassing!” Steve: “No, you’re just embarrassed. There’s a difference.” Like it’s just so them lmao

How do/did you feel writing i don’t know, you figure it out?

You know when you set out on a long hike in the summer and three hours later your calves are screaming and you’re covered in sweat and your sunburn’s starting to itch and this one horse fly won’t fuck off and your cell phone doesn’t even get service out here so literally WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF, and then you climb that last hill and look out on the most beautiful landscape you’ve ever seen in your silly little life? Basically that.

What was the most difficult part of writing Plot Holes?

Ooh, that one was fun! The only real difficulty was trying to keep it to a microfic because the concept could definitely be fleshed out to a full story — @griefabyss69 and I were joking around about “what if someone did ‘plot hole’ for the @steddiemicrofic prompt fill?” and then that fic just fell out of my head in about 15 minutes. 

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

For sure! I’m currently super proud of the graveyard scene in the most recent update of TPAU — I don’t write true horror often, but I love horror so it was really fun to give it a try! Favorite line from any fic is probably this reference to ‘You’re Divine’ in my fic Monsoon Season because I love uncomfortably-aroused prude Eddie, and his internal monologue cracks me up every time I think about it: Freddie Monsoon’s debut novel is called The Fourth Chime, and it is, as far as Eddie can tell, the first installment in a series of unapologetically filthy fuck fests about a man whose lover gets flung into an alternate dimension during an apocalyptic event and miraculously returns as some sort of… sexy bat-boy with a fucking horse dong and a bite kink. Critics are calling it “the most romantic novel of the last decade.” It’s me; I’m Critics.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

My main project right now is finishing TPAU if it kills me, but beyond that, I have a few one-shots for @subeddieweek in the works, including a collab with @griefabyss69 that I’m so so SO excited to share. It’s hot, it’s funny, I can’t wait for y’all to read it. 

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

First of all, as @wormdebut would say: I think you’re pretty. Thank you so much for all your hard work! I love this blog, and I love answering questions <3 Secondly: - Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. - Toss cubed sweet potatoes and parsnips, sliced sweet onion, and fresh garlic in a mix of olive oil, salt, pepper, and rosemary, and then spread in a single layer on a foil-lined baking sheet.  - Bake for ~40-45 minutes. (Potatoes and parsnips should be soft without being mushy when you poke them with a fork.) - Prep your sauce: I made a dijon drizzle situation by mixing olive oil mayo, a dash of dijon mustard, lemon juice, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and a splash of water, but you could also add a little dab of hot sauce, bbq sauce, or different mustards. Basically just grab like four condiments out of your fridge and play around with the flavors you like until you make a mix that’s thin enough to pour. - Drizzle roasted veggies with sauce. - Enjoy a very tasty side dish (or do what I did and eat the whole sheet as a meal like some sort of parsnip goblin because you were too lazy to make the main dish after chopping all those veggies) okay thank you love you byeeeee

Thank you to our author, @wynnyfryd, and our nominator, @griefabyss69! See more of Wynnyfryd's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[altocat]

all 50 of those Honest fave character prompts for Sephiroth

( @izunias-meme-hole )

........*cracks knuckles* OKAY.

1. Do you project onto this character?

All the time, every day. Like Sephiroth, I can often be avoidant, depressed, and overly attached to my loved ones. The struggle is real lmao

2. Did you always like this character?

Before falling into fandom hell, I didn't really notice him much other than Kingdom Hearts stuff. Or the occasional thirst post online.

3. What first drew you to this character?

Crisis Core making him a sad soft baby that everyone is mean to lmao

4. Did you initially dislike/hate this character?

No. I always thought he had a cool design and a badass voice.

5. If this character were a woman, would you honestly still like them? Or in reverse, what if they were a man?

Of course! Sephiroth is a fascinating character regardless. His backstory is very unique and I don't think that would change.

6. Do you have any nicknames or pet names you use for this character?

I mostly just call him Seph. Sometimes Kittyroth. Sometimes "Mr. Compassion" whenever I'm being sarcastic about him. And sometimes just SMUGFUCK because that's what he is.

7. Does the character’s age matter to you?

Nah. Like I said, he's a fascinating character regardless.

8. Does the character’s looks/design matter to you?

I feel like there are certain aspects of his character that you NEED to keep in--his catlike pupils, silver hair, etc. They are plot-related indicators of his heritage and genetics. Thirstposts aside, they are reminder that he is a lab-grown monster with alien blood running through his veins.

9. Does this character remind you of anyone you know? Does that affect how you see them?

Not really. Seph is pretty unique. And honestly I'd rather not know someone like him irl lolol

10. Do you see yourself in this character even without projecting?

Physically? Hell no. Emotionally? Sometimes. But that's on rare occasions where we can actually tell what he's thinking and feeling.

11. How did you “fall in love” with this character?

Watching Crisis Core cutscenes one rainy night in 2021.

12. If you could write effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what story (s) would you write for this character?

AU Redemption arc trilogy in which Zack and Aerith save Sephiroth from himself and he dismantles Shinra to become the planet's hero.

13. If you could draw effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what scene (s) would you draw for this character?

I'd really like to illustrate a lot of fic scenes. Especially the trippier Jenova-focused ones.

14. Are you physically attracted to this character?

...Yeah lmao But I don't ship myself or my self-insert with him because NO lolol I think he's aesthetically pleasing but I don't associate myself with him in any romantic sense. That's just weird to me.

15. Are your thoughts surrounding this character usually sexual, non-sexual, or a mix of both?

Non-sexual. I'm more interested in his character progression/fall into villainy. Like yeah he's attractive and there are some seductive aspects of his personality. But he's just more interesting to dissect as a villain.

16. Have you ever cried when thinking about this character? Genuinely?

Several times lolol usually after First Soldier updates.

17. Have you ever felt physical pain over this character? (ex: physical heartache).

Miiiight have happened once in dms with other fans (thanks @heraldofcrow)

18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

SUFFER. SUFFERRRRRRR 😈NO COMFORT FOR YOU ALL IS PAIN AND ANGUISH.

19. Does this character serve as a stress ball/ security blanket for you? Something you run to after a bad day to feel safe or happier?

Oh totally. All the time. Imagine cute aggression but it's more angsty lol Angst aggression.

20. Do you feel affectionate towards this character?

For Sane!Sephiroth, yes. Very much so. Not so much after Nibelheim. Then he's just an evil little shit who needs to get clowned by Cloud again.

21. Are your feelings about this character platonic, romantic, or familial? All of these feelings at once maybe?

Platonic-familial. He's my precious baby boy. Who I have to hurt. LET ME HURT HIM.

22. Do you think you will always love this character?

I hope so! Assuming Square doesn't do something stupid.

23. Has this character permanently altered or impacted your psyche in a way you won’t forget?

I'm HERE. lmao There's your evidence.

24. Do you ever dream about this character? If so, describe a dream you once had about them.

I never have dreams about him and it makes me SO MAD SZDFGHFDSA EVERYONE ELSE GETS BLORBO DREAMS EXCEPT FOR ME.

25. What kind of fan-fiction do you read about this character? If you don’t read fan-fics about them, why not?

I mostly like character studies. Or slow-burn AU fics with him. I'm currently reading The Fear of Falling Stars and it's sooooo good.

26. If you look for this character’s name on AO3, what tags are you including or excluding?

It really depends on the fic tbh.

27. Do you like to ship this character with other characters or do you prefer not to?

I SHIP HIM WITH EVERYONE *feral noises*

28. Do you get defensive about this character? If yes, then why?

Only in select instances. I don't like the dudebro logic of "well Sephiroth was always arrogant/evil even before Nibelheim and he can't be vulnerable or sensitive because that's not badass" because those are fundamentally not true. And an extreme disservice to his writing.

29. Do you affectionately bully this character?

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

30. Are you especially sensitive about this character?

He makes me sad. His story is heartbreaking.

31. Are you ashamed of liking this character?

Nope. Not at all.

32. If you could make this character a meal, what would you make them?

Pumpkin soup, of course!

33. Are you “blinded by love” for this character or do you accept any flaws they may have?

Oh not at all. I have said many many times and will keep saying that Sephiroth does not deserve a happy ending after everything he's done. He deserves to be destroyed for good. He's NOT a good guy, not any more at least. He's caused so much damage in so many horrible ways. There's no going back from that. I love the guy and I feel for him. But that's still no excuse for what he did.

34. Does this character inspire you with little things in your daily life?

Uhhhh no.

35. Has this character ever prevented you from sleeping because you can’t stop thinking about them?

@ me whenever First Soldier updates.

36. Do you feel a spiritual/soulmate connection with this character?

Idk. Probably not. He's my angsty trauma son. But I wouldn't go THAT far lol

37. Is your love for this character a secret from people you know in real life?

Nope. I will literally never shut up about Sephiroth to family or friends lololol

38. Do you tend to joke more about dying or killing for this character? Both? What causes the distinction?

NO because Sephiroth is a villain and the goal is to not become like him lolol

39. Do you feel lovesick over this character?

Nope. He just makes me casually distraught.

40. Are you very empathetic towards this character? When they feel a certain way in the story, do you feel those emotions too?

Very much so. Like I said before, his story is heartbreaking. I've ugly cried about him so many times in the past.

41. Do you prefer to interact with this character directly via self-insert/reader type content? Or do you enjoy seeing them mostly with other characters in the story and/or your OCs?

Other than background OCs, no. I prefer mostly just his relationship with canon characters.

42. If you could, would you write this character a song or poem?

It'd be cool to do something creepy with his relationship with Jenova...

43. What type of weather makes you think of this character?

Rainy days. Because he's depressing.

44. Which season makes you think of this character?

Fall.

45. Do you feel as if you are intimately familiar with this character?

At this point, I'd really like to hope so. They have certainly added a lot of new stuff that feels on point with my previous ideas for him. But I'm open to new stuff too!

46. How much do bad interpretations of this character upset you?

It really depends on how they characterize him as a person before Nibelheim. I don't really like how people sometimes equate his evil/smug/arrogant post-Nibelheim personality with his CC-era one. They're really completely different.

47. Does this character ever make you laugh sincerely?

He made some the FUNNIEST goddamn faces in Rebirth, just sayin'.

48. What’s your favorite physical/design feature for this character?

R trilogy has the best overall design. Hair, eyes, and the sheer SIZE of him. All perfect.

49. What’s your favorite personality trait in this character?

Sane!Seph: His love for his friends

Insane!Seph: Him being a huge petty dick just for the sake of it

50. Link your fav song, playlist, aesthetic board, fan-fiction, reference pile, personal artwork, analysis post, meme, headcanon, or quote for this character. Whichever one (s) you are most comfortable with!

UHHHHHHHHHHH I'm just going to cheat and say THIS ENTIRE COMMUNITY because Seph-fans are BEST fans and we get along and get shit done. Best content. Best fandom space. No in-fighting or drama on his character. We're ALL peak 😎

[n0v4t33z]

What Would Have Been?

Pairings: Former Assassin Choi San X Assassin Female Reader

Genre: Angst, Assassin AU, One Shot

Word Count: 1.2k

Tags/Warnings: For Mature Audiences, Mentions Death

@newworldnet

Minors Do Not Interact

Author's Note 💌: Hope you guys enjoy this one shot! I couldn't get this scene out of my head so I had to write it! Also, yes some of the terms I used were John Wick references! I've been wanting to work on an assassin au for the longest so depending how things go I may or may not make it a short series idk yet not sure. This isn't edited so I'll fix it later. Again, please be kind! - N 🌙

•································•································•

It had been years since I last saw San, which was also the last time I worked with him. Back then I had the biggest crush on him, so much so I'd make up any excuse just to talk to him which led to us becoming close. Out of fear for me accidentally ruining our friendship because of my feelings I gaslit myself into isolation, completely disappearing from everyone’s radar including his.

Now years later I'm standing outside of his small taekwondo school hoping he tells me where I can find the Grim Reaper. When I open the door I immediately notice small children no more than 8 years old practicing, they seemed so happy and excited to be there. I quietly look around and immediately see San, he hasn't changed at all. His taekwondo uniform makes his wide shoulders seem even bigger than they are and his black belt definitely made his waist look so small. He was always known to be well proportioned. His dimpled smile being as warm as the sun's embrace causing me to unconsciously swallow hesitantly, is he even going to remember me? Is he going to be upset when he sees me?

Just then while he was helping a student work on his posture I notice a little girl with short hair who runs over to San and let him know that someone has come into his establishment. He scans the room until our eyes meet, a look of visible shock paints his features. I give him a small smile whilst walking in his direction, he leans over and tells his assistant something most likely to keep watch of the class. Once he's done with that he walks up to me, his face lights up the closer he gets “y/n…What brings you here?”

I give him a pained smile “I need to talk to you. It's about the high table.” San’s expression grows dark and leads me to a small office behind the big mirrors the class uses to practice. There was trophies, some medals and a few pictures, it seemed like some of his past students and his family. He's married, with a child. A little girl. My heart sinks into my stomach causing me to let out a silent sigh lowering my gaze onto the floor. There goes My chance. He pulls a chair out for me then proceeds to sit on his side of the desk. “So..” San awkwardly breaks the silence making me glance up at him and meet his eyes, his expression still not fully comprehending it was indeed me in front of him.

“The high table summoned me. The thing is I’m not going to go through with it as they’re insisting I kill Rogue and I’m not going to do that, that man taught me so much as a rookie assassin. He’s like a father to me, the issue is I don’t know where he is. I need to warn him the High Table is going after him.” San clasps his hands together in front of his mouth, elbows resting on the desk whilst his eyes being the only thing visible from my angle. His golden wedding ring glinting in the fluorescent light. He goes on to stay silent for a moment until he finally says “You know i’m not associated with that stuff anymore...”

I understandably nod “I know, I see you’ve got a beautiful family now..” I glance back at the photo of San, his wife and daughter instantly rendering me silent from the huge knot in my throat. I could have had that chance had I not run away from my feelings. San looks back at the photo and looks back at me, his voice lowering “I don’t understand why you came here then.” I tightly hold onto my sleeve trying not to get emotional. I think he hates me now.

“I’m asking you to tell me where I can find the Grim Reaper, he knows where Rogue is…Please, I’m going to end this. I have to, the High Table has marked me an excommunicado. I’m basically marked for death. I’ve got nothing to lose now..” San swallows hard, his gaze turns into a sad one “y/n..” The knot in my throat gets tighter, making breathing extremely hard. So I look at the wall behind San unable to continue looking at him. “Do me that one favor before I die, please?"

We both sit in silence for a few moments until San finally speaks “South side of Seoul… the soup kitchen.” I slowly nod “Okay, thanks..” I get up and walk towards the door, before I’m even able to make it he grabs onto my arm “y/n, wait..” Hesitantly I turn in his direction, tears brimming in my eyes “Yeah?”  He lowers his face to meet my eyes “Why did you disappear? Where’d you go?”

I bite the inside of my lip to keep it from quivering and instead tears run down my cheeks “Because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I'd rather you think I was dead than to come into terms with my feelings.” He gives me a confused blink then the saddened expression grows on him “What do you mean come into terms with your feelings?”

I sniffle and shake my head “It’s not important anymore, you’ve got a happy family now. So pretend I never said anything.” San grabs both my shoulders and squeezes them “Please tell me.. You can’t just drop that on me and not tell me. It’s been years since I’ve seen you..” I squeeze my eyes shut not wanting to meet his eyes anymore, those beautiful brown eyes. At least I can say I saw them one last time before i'm gone. “I can’t, I’m so sorry..” He gently raises my face up to meet his “Please.. At least do me this favor before you go. I deserve to know why my friend disappeared.” I hesitantly open my eyes again only to see a worried expression and for a moment I can’t bring myself to say anything out of pure embarrassment because what’s the point? Nothing will change.

“I’m in love with you. I always have been, I always will be. I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough to face my feelings and tell you how I feel, instead I hurt you.” San stares at me for a bit, becoming increasingly embarrassed of the potential rejection I stutter ”I-I’ll get going, again I’m sorry.” I pull away from his grasp leaving a shocked San watching me until he finally says “You know, I liked you too..” I come to a halt facing away from San, my breath hitches and I cover my mouth to keep me from breaking down into full sobs. I did this to myself, my fear of rejection screwed me over. “y/n?”

He reaches over to rest his hand on my shoulder, his warm hand gently squeezing it trying to comfort me. “Were you afraid that I didn’t feel the same way?” I quietly nod my eyes blurring with tears again. He carefully approaches me and pulls me into a hug gently cradling the back my head. Hesitantly I hug him back, my tears spilling onto his white uniform. "I'm sorry I never gave you that reassurance, and that because of me you led a life of loneliness." I bury my face in his chest feeling his other hand gently pat my back.

I stay in his arms for a little bit until I finally pull away and respond “Thank you for everything, I’ll be going now.” San reaches for my hand and holds it tightly "You remember that blood oath we took years ago? Call me if you need me, i'll be there. I promise." The knot in my throat renders me silent again where as I only manage to hum in response. As I walk away a broken woman, I realize how my fears defined my life and took something from me that I yearned for. A loving husband and a small happy family. That fear instead turned me into an on the run excommunicated former assassin who was destined to be alone.

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Please reblog if you liked it! 🔁

If I catch anyone plagiarizing my work just be warned I don't play with that kind of stuff so don't try me.

[strawbbella]

Helloo~ I was bored in class one day so I thought "why not do an art study of the artists I like" except it incredibly scuffed and I really just looked at a bunch of art on their page and i tried my best to replicate one of em

So these are the 2 'studies' i did that day

1st:

My ver:

(Art by @izuke-the-zombie )

ref pic:

What I noticed first while sketching is ofc the super gorgeous cute style. Though not long into the sketching phase noticed her lines are quite sharp and pronouced, for most of her works she keeps her sketch lines making it seem more mmm hazy is the right word? Or effortless, but with every sharp line a rounded(?) line contrasts it, giving it that signature fluffiness. I absolutely adore how well this all mixes together, i dunno just sonethin bout her lines bro

I love the expression, really gives off absolutely love sick, I didn't capture the eyes quite well (I blame my chonk pen because all good artists blames their materials/j) Macaque looks more scared than breath taken and I put the eyes too far apart. I basically deprived the eyes of its soul lmao note for next time I do a study.

Ok this part has not much to do with the ref pic but her art in general and that includes her writing. I adore the cute HCs and little stories/AUs she would post, just so much creativity and its always so comforting to read as theyre so wholesome and cute. Im so sure one of my first posts here were a drawing of one of her HCs LIKE SRSLY SO CREATIVE. I was also surprised as I saw in some artworks she's able to draw structures and environments that draws your into the scene, its fits the universe so well, just adding to that little wonderment of awe. Shes amazing at coloring too, real soft, but still makes the characters pop, i'd say more but my brain is short-circuiting from all this analyzing. Shes just all round incredibly talented and creative honestly. Her style is exactly what i wanted to have as a kid and what im striving to have now. So cuteee

So far 11/10 art style, love the chibiness, cuteness, expressions, the pure and pastel feel and colors, and details. Just love her in general<3 check out her page lol

2nd:

My ver:

(Art by @clatteringbats )

ref pic:

Ok so immediately off the bat I knew I was gonna have some trouble here since I've been drawing chibis from the very start.

Just from observing her art I alr saw it has a lot of movement in em, lots of dynamic poses, and LOTS of embraces, really just pouring with that fluff/angst energy. At first I tried the anime body guidelines and boom instant error. Though not all that noticable the heads have sum chonk in em, especially the cheeks, giving that cute factor despite not being a chibi style. Im all for it. The lines are very soft, not a lot of sharp edges and if there are theyre placed in a very subtle way. The expressions are wonderful: from a subtle hopeless smile from an overwhelming roar of grief and anger, she's mastered the the art of slight details that give these effects their magic. Her lines are sketchy but not messy (does that make sense) they clump together neatly, giving the illustration clarity.

AND OMG HAVE YOU SEEN HER ANIMATICS? THE MOVEMENT, THE PACING, THE SMOOTHNESS, THE INTERACTIONS, THE EMOTIONS, THE EVERYTHING. THEYRE SO AAAA ITS LIKE A PROFESSIONAL STORYBOARD FOR A TV SHOW.

The way she uses color too— just o h m y g o d .

Her colors are so bright and clear, so nicely blended together, so bold, but not in the way that burns your eyes, she keeps them neutral in a way, that envokes that sense of harmony; like a sunset. (I legit have one of her colored artworks as my wallpaper) I have lots more to observe, but so far this is all I have to say. The skill of overflowing

Anways, back to the task at hand. I made the heads bigger than i shoulda , cause well chibi artist ehe. Again, I blame my chonk pencil. I didn't get the embrace quite right, but Ion think I could level with the queen of LITERALLY DRAWING TEARJERKING HUGS LIKE? I tried with the hands, I swear. I knew they were a little small but only now am I realizing its that way cause I made the heads too big. I wanna try drawing more in her style as its really just full of movement and flowiness, I wanna try mastering the way she draws perspectives too. I noticed for perspective shots theres this grid for the sky and ground (which is genius) will try that out when I actually pick up digital art again.

Check out her page, theres lots to see shes amazing 11/10 artstyle<3

[mins-fins]

missa solemnis

&&. it's not everyday that you waltz with the prince that wants to rip out your tongue, but life is just full of surprises.

pairing: lee donghyuck x m!reader

genre: fairly random really, royalty au, enemies(?) to lovers

warnings: explicit language, reader and hyuck threaten each other the whole time, reader and hyuck both suck so bad but they both want each other so bad

word count: 1k

notes: this whole thing is just one scene from a bigger thing i wrote during the christmas break that i scrapped because i didn't think people would read it.. also because i'm not very good when it comes to writing people as enemies, also it was HORRIBLE i almost throw up every time i even glance at that mess 😞 anyway to celebrate nct dream reincarnation royal au i decided to just take this chunk and edit it so now at least it makes a little more sense 😭?? not my best writing truly but prince hyuck has not left my mind, i need to start writing more royal aus

"if i didn't know better, i'd think you wanted to kiss me right now".

there's a taunting tone in your voice that makes donghyuck glare, but he still doesn't get distracted, keeping up the same momentum he's had since you two began dancing no more than a few minutes ago.

there's a few good reasons you assumed he wanted to kiss you, mainly the direct contact he was making with your lips, he looked like he was about to move forward and connect his lips with yours with absolutely no shame, no regard for his reputation, his soon-to-be-wife, or his supposed "hatred" of you.

"you are an absolute moron".

"aren't i correct?"

donghyuck's poker face doesn't falter, no matter how much you tried to get a smile out of him with idiotic comments or jokes. "nope, wrong as always".

you hum at the princes response, somehow able to stay focused on waltzing as the two of you made your way around in a circle. donghyuck will never understand your way of easily multitasking, how you were somehow able to focus on annoying the absolute shit out of him as well as focus on not stepping on his foot at all.

he has to give it to you (begrudgingly though), it's impressive.

"so what is it then, your highness? you were just staring at my lips because you were bored? lost in your head?"

donghyuck's grip on your hand tightens at the sound of you using his title in such a mocking manner, oh he hates you, he hates you so much that if he had to choose, he'd rather kill you himself then have someone else do it.

you piss him off so much, your words piss him off so much, he wants to punch you, he wants to set you on fire and watch you burn, he wants to so badly stomp you into the ground and watch you suffer—

but holy shit you are absolutely gorgeous.

donghyuck can't even deny it, even with how much denial courses through his veins about topics such as this, anyone with two functioning eyes could see that you are just such a work of art. donghyuck can't even blame all the women that flock to the gates of your palace, hoping to score just one date with you.

"i was too busy thinking about the several torture methods that i could put you through".

"ah i am so hurt, you don't love me sweetheart?"

donghyuck has to use every single bit of patience remaining in his body to not step on your foot and leave you in pain on the dance floor.

the only reason he was dancing with you in the first place was because of a promise he made to his mother, his fiancée was off doing something else, gossiping with the servants, he assumes, she did always enjoy that, a favorite activity of hers that he's learned about from observing.

a dance like this should truly only be preserved for lovers, people who can stand each other, a pair who, with all things considered, won't bicker whilst they were supposed to be focusing on the music.

you two, with all things considered, are an example of everything opposite of that, you can't stand each other, you bicker all the time, and you are truly the furthest thing from lovers.

"call me that again and next time your head won't be attached to your body".

"i like to think you threaten me because you love me".

donghyuck snorts, finally, and you felt a surge of pride in your chest, you'd gotten a smile out of him. "your mind must be the messiest place ever.." he resorts to muttering, not knowing what other specific threats he could tell you. "an idiotic one too, do you ever think clearly? logically?"

you hum, displaying a lack of offense at the words. instead, you just lean closer, the distance between you two minimizing. "i only think about you, sweetheart".

a scoff leaves the prince's lips, he's absolutely done with you, but there's still a good minute left to the song, meaning there's still a good minute of you two waltzing in this ballroom left.

"i just cannot wait for this to be over.."

"you don't say!"

your enthusiasm pisses off donghyuck, but he doesn't step on your foot like he wanted, instead pulling you forward harshly, causing for a yelp of surprise to escape your lips. his arm remains around your waist, ensuring that you won't fall, but you two do bump foreheads.

"jesus! are you crazy!?"

there is absolutely no reason for you two to be pressed this close, your fingers still very much intertwined, just one trip up and your lips would touch.

you wonder in your head if donghyuck is slowly regretting his brash decision.

"what? you don't know how to waltz anymore?"

you always find a way to jab at him, comment on something he did, joke about a little things that you knew got under his skin.

oh lee donghyuck absolutely despises you.

that doesn't explain why he still clearly wants to kiss you, though.

"you're just—" he pauses in the middle of his sentence, suddenly very interested in your facial features, features that he could now clearly see up close. "a moron, an idiot".

"as you've said before".

donghyuck doesn't respond anymore after that, the song isn't even done, a good 25 seconds left before it's ending, but donghyuck was clearly done, as he pushed you away, taking in a breath.

"that's enough of you, have a good night your highness".

the words leave his tongue bitterly, his glare is less of a genuine one and more full of mixed emotions, but he doesn't give you any more time to stare at him, just turns around and walks in the direction of his fiancée.

you watch him walk away, and he doesn't make an effort to even save you one final glance.

the song isn't even over yet.

but he's done, very done.

[mushiemellows]

✨UPDATED!✨

All of my Frobin fics I have written from December 2023 when I first started writing, up through my most recent work posted October 2024, stored in one convenient place! 🌸

🍔 Staying Right Here (and not a step closer)

RATING: E

words: 317,056 status: COMPLETE chapters: 14

Set the week Post-Enies Lobby. The core lore mostly canon compliant getting together fic. Weird sex, fast food, and an accidental wedding. My first big fic, and an adventure into writing smut. Epilogues go up through timeskip/Fishman Island reunion.

🐊 These Foolish Things

RATING: M

words: 14,178 status: ONE SHOT

Includes the Wanihana ship to tell a story of Robin's healing over time. A songfic that uses a whole catalog of Frank Sinatra songs to frame Franky and Crocodile's differing relationships to Robin. A bit more serious, as it discusses abuse. This one was a practice in writing in complex tense.

✈️ Floating Through the Stratosphere

RATING: E

words: 30,742 status: COMPLETE chapters: 2

Modern day airplane pilot AU except they are only rarely on the plane. Half one-bed-rom-com, half amnesia medical drama. This was a really fun world to build up, and I've been considering writing more stories within this world.

🕵🏻‍♀️ The Sunday Affair

RATING: E

Words: 68,078 status: ONGOING chapters: 8 (/10)

Robin is a Russian spy, Franky is an American spy. Its 1967 Cold War DC. Franky is assigned to find and kill an assassin named Sunday, Robin has to assassinate an agent named Flam. Oh, and they're married.

⏱ Another Day in the Sun

RATING: T

words: 43,413 status: ONGOING chapters: 7/ ???

The crew is stuck in a time loop, living the same day over and over again, but only some can tell. Matchmakers Robin and Franky have to get everyone to kiss each other. A thinly veiled fun little excuse to make everyone make out. And also its a bit (lot) poly (Paradise+EB5). An adventure in keeping things T.

🍼 Super Troupers

RATING: M

words: 11,130 status: ONGOING chapters: 1 (/3)

A baby fic! Chapter 1 is mostly set up, pregnancy, and delivery. But I'm still working at the follow up chapters, I want to tell more little stories with each of the boys. A bit sweet and sappy and emotionally indulgent but I don't care I love this fambly. M rating only for blood and a few intense discussions around pregnancy.

⚡️ What Makes a Man

RATING: M

words: 47,592 status: ONGOING chapters: 14 (/20?)

Putting the Franky in Frankenstein. A reanimation fic. Franky dies at Laugh Tale but leaves behind instructions for Robin to put him back together. Mainly meant to be little pocket character studies. BACK FROM THE DEAD, NOT ABANDONED FIC! I told ya I'd update it.

💀 For the Thrill of It

RATING: E

words: 46,551 status: COMPLETE chapters: 2

Nasty spooky Thriller Bark monsterfucker erotica. Brook joins the party and things get Weird. 5+1 but more like a 5+2. Established Frob with added skeleton. Chapter 2 has now been added, Robin's pov + bonus scenes. And perhaps a chapter 3 still lives in the back of my brain.

🤖 Handle With Care

RATING: E

words: 13,365 status: ONE SHOT

More nasty erotica for the sake of itself. Franky gets hurt, needing significant repairs and a full service tune up. This one is distinctly T4T. This one was written simply because no one else had written like, proper robot shit with Franky on ao3 and I was so appalled to see the hole in the market that I just HAD to fill it.

🧰 Showoff (the devil’s in the details)

RATING: E

words: 16,929 status: ONE SHOT

Even MORE pwp. Post-Egghead on the run to Elbaf, Franky shows Lilith Sunny and all of his little inventions. Things heat up between him, her, and Robin, but Vegapunk keeps all the praise to herself. This one was written in gut reaction to the most recent chapter, and I think I wrote it for entirely personal reasons lol. Franky just wants to be told he did a good job.

That's all I wrote! 610,000 words this year (of just my posted fics, not counting other works and wips) (and 45,000 words posted Halloweek alone!). I'm really proud about how my writing has developed over the year, I hadn't written much in the past so this was a huge journey, but a really fun one. Thanks for growing with me! Enjoy the works!

[thesupernaturalhouse]

Damn yall are liking this Hazbins Fallen au- I'm glad!! Honestly I was hoping people would like it but like, still a shock you know-

Anywaysss, I am busy but figured I'd post some fact/headcanons of the au, aoke plot points, mostly surrounding Emily because she's the main change of the au

Emily has a pretty big sweet tooth, and when she does get sweets she always gets extra for Razzle and Dazzle

Again, I will say this, Vaggie, Charlie and Emily are wrangle and dazzles moms. Keekee is not counting as a child cause the seems more like. A ept while Razzle and Dazzle seem mroe sentient, at least to me

Charlie and Seviathans relationship, post break up ofc, is like Ron Swanson and Tammy 2s, no the uh- getting back together part but the '....she's here-' part, Charlie absolutely hates his guts and whenever he's near her more demon features come out as she looks around trying to spot him

Emily barely holds herself back from killing slaviathen, you'd think it'd be Vaggie, but no, it's Emily

Emily design resembles a succubus, it was by complete accident, she lieks the color of horns and didn't realize what it could resemble-

Emily absolutely hates Al but hides it ebhidn a cheerful smile, silent anger so to speak(she does end up snapping at Al and I am so excited to write that scene)

Husk is Emily's father figure I already have a whole chaoter planned surrounding how they bon, Emily calls him dad from that chaoter onwards

Angle constantly makes 'I fucked you dad' jokes, even if they aren't true, at Em cause he knows it pushes her buttons....she retaliated by buying water balloons and throwing them at him one day when he makes the same joke again

Husk just watches.

In the pilot, vaggie holds up her spear and Emily pushes it down like "...no, no..." the Katy says soemthing homophobic and she immediately moves her hand away and says "nevermind. Do what you want."

Emily hates waking up early, she's done it for YEARS in heaven she'll eb damned if she does it for more in hell (plus there's nobody on her about being on time to places)

You knwo that scene where Husk is calling everyone out? Well, he looks at Emily and goes "and SHES....well....I've got nothing on her, she's perfect" you can tell who his favorite is

Remember when angle brings them ti a bdsm club? Yeah, I've- I've got a FUN scene idea for that-

Screw shoes let charlie show her hooves- especially since I 70% sure that hoped animals have to walk on their hooves or else they risk a lot of different things so- yeah, I'm throwing away her shoes.

Also have her show sone more demon features, I love making designs so much- and of course their gonna be more animalistic, cause I love expanding on animal nosies and behaviors and stuff, it was always planned tho I didn't have a specfici bird in mind for vaggie until the hawk feather exorcists au, she also makes moth noises

I am going to have so much fun making their designs-

Also, Emily and Peter are best friends in this au, mlm and wlw solidarity when they go back up to heaven while Sera is tlaking Peter is jsut staring at her

'I know' she knows he knows....she silently promises to catch him up before the trial and he finally looks away satisfied

I feel liek while Emily would be very quick to accept husk is her father figure I think Husk would be a bit hesitant to accept that HE is a father figure

You know victor from lackadaisy? I dont knwo why but I kinda like to imagine husk as him- like I'm debating if I should make husk have had a daughter when he was alive who he didn't get to see cause of the divorce and turned to alcoholism slowly. And Em reminds him if her and that makes him SCARED

Fun little idea I had that I may or may not include, depends how I'm feeling honestly, I do wanna ta leats keep some things liek how 'gruff' he is and apply it to husk, idm I feel like their personalities are every similar, thoguh that might jsut be me-

Husk would teach Emily how to play Chess

Charlie knows Vaggie and Emily are angles and all that stuff, as I've said before. So I'm debating wether or not to keep Al's deal in, I think I will but tweak it a bit

I love Al, but he is an above avrage overlord at best, the only reason he was able to fight agaisnthe exrocists and Adam was due to them not being used to people attacking BACK and seeing it more as entertainment then actual hunting.

Anyways Em may or may not call him out casually on multiple occasions- 'he does realize if he fights Adam he'll die- oh, and there he goes called it!' She doesn't like him

Em was very much called 'lucifers replacement' by many angles, not Sera but even Sera soemtimes accidentally said lucis name instead of Ems at Keats a few times. Anyways she hates lucifer despite never meeting him and for soem reaosn never realized he was Charlie's father-

Al and Rosie are Charlie's uncle and aunt, foudn family my beloved

The reveal that Emily is Emily the seraphim....well, lets hsut say when revealing vaggie to be an exrocist doesn't work. lute notices how fimiliar Em looks..... it's gonna be a very interesting chaote rthats for certain

Speaking of the episode list- probably gonna alter them cut ep6 into 2 parts to, I'll make a diffeent post about it-

[emicat1159]

I like your art. Will you tell me about your AU or tag me in some of the posts where you explained it? (Romeo is also my favorite. Insecure little beast)

Thank you :)

I've said it before but I'd die for romeo, that man is so pathetic I love him XD

But yea, my au. Romeo, Fred, and Xara are not the only admins in the world. There was one more, her name was Elizabeth. But she was different from the other three as she was created when they combined some of their powers into one being, she was basically their daughter.

Strangely enough, however, she seemed to be just a normal child. No powers, nothing. But they still loved her, and they were all happy.

Of course, that happy life ended when Romeo lost his mind, killed Fred, and bedrocked over the sky. That day was the last time either of the two remaining admins saw her. (When Fred died, xara grabbed Liz and escaped to Fred's Keep to leave her there, telling the people there to hide her from Romeo at all costs.)

However at some point, Elizabeth went missing completely, spending years on her own surviving the Underneath.

Until the present day of my au, after Romeo's powers were taken away. Jesse decides to join him when he leaves to the Underneath to redeem himself, help the people left down there. (she wanted to see xara again too lol) and some other characters go along too- I'm thinking Jack and Nurm, Lukas (maybe to write about the world beneath the bedrock, who knows) Petra might show up at some point.

Because, after the group reunite with Xara, they learn of strange happenings going on in their worlds, things disappearing, pieces of the world dying off, people vanishing.

And that leads to the question: what happens to the world when the powers that created it are taken away? That's right, it starts falling apart.

That is when Romeo and Xara tell the others about Elizabeth because, being the only one of the admins left, she's the only one who can save them and their world.

Somehow, somewhere, they find her and the rest of the story is her trying to awaken her powers to stop the destruction of the world, I guess XD

I might post chapters of the story, fanfic style, but I think most of the time it'll just be random scenes I come up with throughout the timeline. Three sections, one for when Liz was a child, one for Jesse and the gang trying to find her, and the last would be after they find her and she's trying to awaken her admin powers. And ofc I'll answer any questions or art requests for the au :)

[inchidentally]

Write a list of all the landoscar concepts u want to read 👀

oh fuuuuuck anon

ok so bearing in mind I'm still way behind w fic reading so if these already exist pleeeaaaase link me up (and ofc if anyone writes these link me!!):

there's the vestal virgins thing I blurted out

vamposcar AU and this could go the way of it being more like a minor health condition that results in lots of daytime sleeping/sun sensitivity/needing blood during duress like races but Lando is ??? when he finds out, or full-blown immortal Oscar who keeps having to remember to act like a normal young man and not a highborn son from Renaissance Italy and Lando makes the realization during a stream when chat jokingly suggests Oscar's a vampire, basically I want lots of horny Lando and trying-to-hold-back-fangs-Oscar

EDIT: @nyoomfruits has this delicious and funny and beautiful vamposcar fic I’ve Tasted Blood (and I want more)!!

fae-but-doesn't-know-it Lando was actually found as a magic baby in part of an ancient forest near his family's Somerset home, nestled among bluebells when his brother wishes for a little brother - they raise him as normally as possible but have to hand-wave how often he gets hurt but heals super quickly and only Jon is informed for Lando's protection - Oscar being the first person outside the family circle to pay close enough attention to Lando and notice a few odd things: the strange light that seems to follow Lando wherever he goes even in the dark, the way the gold specks in his green eyes sometimes move around, the way certain metals make his skin rash up, how Lando isn't just a fussy eater he can somehow sense where food he hates is being stored even if it's out of sight, how he's wary of cats because they react strangely to him, and the way Oscar sometimes has to avoid looking directly in Lando's eyes because he's actually falling prey to Lando's instincts to trap and keep him. I'd love a scene where Oscar approaches Lando about it in private and does a little experiment he found on the internet where he intentionally hurts himself and Lando freaks while Oscar keeps telling him to "fix it, you know you can fix it" and hey presto! Lando has a lot of questions for his parent because he just healed Oscar with his hands and some weird glowing light came out?? EDIT: @lemonadedino has begun a fic for this!! and here's the finished fic!!

Lando who everyone assumes has been with guys but hasn't who then finds out that Oscar who has been with more guys than girls (Oscar having to talk Lando through a whole lot of realizing things)

Oscar adores casually sucking dick with no feelings attached and has blown just about every guy in racing that he could - except when he asks Lando he's unexpectedly excited and Lando is snorting a drink out of his nose in shock and oops has Feelings when Oscar gives him the best head of his life

Lando loves making straight men crazy for him and collects them like beaded bracelets but when it comes to Oscar he has an attack of guilt and can't work his usual wiles. Oscar assumes Lando is just especially not interested and ~miscommunication~ ensues

eternal-dork-complex Oscar has no interest in his own appearance and just kinda hopes the people he dates/sleeps with will be game but also lets a lot of hotties slip by because he doesn't bother - oops that's the case with Lando who Oscar assumed would be out of his league so he friendzones himself. Lando perceives this as Oscar somehow ?? not finding him smoking hot ?? what is wrong with this guy ?? but Oscar is also so incredibly kind and funny and attentive to Lando and his best teammate yet. he assumes it's that Oscar is just not interested bc it's not like being straight has stopped guys when it comes to Lando but ohhhh it hurts more and more that Oscar is the one to not be head over heels for him. lots of inside Lando's poor confused head POV and he ends up back in his apartment in Monaco all alone and wanting to cry every five minutes because Oscar just hugged him goodbye in Abu Dhabi and went off without a care in the world! texting miscommunication where Max F checks in worried and Lando spills it all out but through his blurry wet eyes he accidentally sends it to Oscar who had texted at the same time asking about the Autosport Awards videos they'd recorded. Lando falls asleep miserable and jetlagged and only wakes up hours later to the building's security guard pounding on the door saying that a Mr. Piastri has been asking to get in for the past hour but ofc Lando has missed all the texts and calls and intercom buzzes. Oscar is finally allowed in and he's frantic and rumpled with his little backpack and so adorably confused that Lando has to kiss him. LOTS of communication and feelings ensue etc.

ok that's all I could do for now but I'm gonna keep this to update anon, thank you for making me do this bc I had no idea I wanted all of this aslfjlashfljhf

[quinloki]

What's your writing process like? Do you draft everything at once and then release chapter by chapter as you edit or something similar?

How to you keep your notes organized? I think you've said before in an ask you use Scrivener (me too!), how do you organize that? I love seeing peoples writing processes in general, if your comfortable explaining!!

Okay you're awesome thank you 💛

Process. Ah. Ahem. Organization... /sweats/

Okay, so organization I have something like that. Thanks almost entirely to Scrivener if I'mma be honest. My projects are organized by blorbo - so like all the Kid x Readers are in one project, and then broken down in files by book.

Except for A Light Touch - cause that's in the Grandline AU collection project, and all associated stories are in there with it.

Notes, though, and er... drafts... Ah.

So I would like to note I mean this in the stereotypical pop culture way, and not in the legitimate way, but I'm insane.

I have never known how long a story was going to be until I wrote it, and while I've had a few slapdash outlines for stories, I never manage to stick to them, so I barely even bother writing them out anymore.

Usually the process is something like:

Inspiration -> Idea -> details for Idea -> some notes -> decide certain parameters -> and time allowing either set aside or start writing chapter 1.

Quicksand, for instance, was inspired by a piece of fan art. It was going to be a one-shot. I started world-building and deciding functional parameters and uh... it's 20 chapters if you don't count the alternative story line. The inspired scene doesn't even happen until like chapter 18.

And even within that, I'd meant for Crocodile to be way more terrifyingly yandere to the point that Doflamingo was going to be the GOOD GUY.

That was the plan. That did not happen.

Inversely, I had the first 5 chapters of A Dragon's Clause outlined, and got so into it those 5 chapters were 8 chapters when I ran out of outline. There are, however, THREE different pages of notes for world building, characters and orgs, and important details, that I reference while I write, and I very much expect the story will be near to 50 chapters, if not longer.

Hey Doll has no outline. It's got a page of notes.

The Host Club AU as nothing set in stone except the Club itself and the owners. Yeah I did some headcanoning and world building via asks, but I still don't know what I'm going to keep and what I'm going to cut, and I'm going to start writing chapter one in June XD There is no outline.

Hell, the ending of a Heart of Gold was decided by a scene in A Light Touch, so one of the reasons I'm going to a little slower than usual is because I have to make sure Heart stays on track. (And yes, A Light Touch, Quicksand, Heart of Gold, and Thrice Prophesized all happen in the same AU at the same time - it's not just a backdrop AU for those stories like it is for Some Direction and Hey Doll.)

But yeah, that's uh... that's it. I don't really have much of a process beyond "This is what I want to work on" and then I turn on a appropriately themed playlist, pick some art to have on one monitor and write on the other. And honestly, thank fuck for like @swampstew, @mamaalpha, @standfucker, @lyndsyh24, @writing-yarn-goblin, @kazieai, @anon-germany, @theaceofflamesposts, @zorostittiesz, @leakyweep, @icy-spicy and @thus-spoke-lo and @mewiyev for all being awesome fucking friends.

Between writing sprints, and beta-reading and inspiring with head canons and thots and art and support and the list goes on and on - I just. (and gods that's not even including @friedbluechicken and @cyborg-franky and can you understand how long this list is gonna get?)

I just kind of stumbled into this whole fandom thing. I didn't know wtf I was doing or what, and I swear I tripped into being friends with Lyn and Raven and it's all kind of a blur and from those two to everyone else on that list to many more beyond that and these alarmingly talented people talk to me of all the random ass bastards out there, and folks are sending me asks thinking I'm cool and wanting to know my process and like -

I'm just a stoat in a trench coat man, I don't even know what I'm doing here.

/ahem/ Okay, I got a little off the topic, but I guess I can't really say I have a process, and I don't plan out my stories much at all. But I will have highlights like I want x, y, and q to happen, so how do I do that? And the real relief is being okay when the story goes a different way and I just let it. I wrote Some Direction inside of a month just doing that. The only thing I knew about that story was who the antagonist was going to be ^^;

[justagalwhowrites]

Hi Kit 💜 Im most of the way through a Lavender re-read. They're on the road and Joel’s feelings for Ellie are surfacing. It got me thinking… how would he have reacted arriving to the QZ to find out he had a 5 year old? 💔

Hi Bestie!!

AHHHH A REREAD? OF MY LIL FIC??? Dying 😭 That anyone read it at all let alone wants to re-read it just blows my freaking mind.

OK ON TO YOUR QUESTION!

I'd intended to write a lil fic of this at some point but the more I thought about it the more involved it got and, honestly, I don't want to dedicate that much time to that particular AU. But, because I've thought on it so much, here's some of what I see playing out. It's tucked below the cut (including a Drabble) because it's just so long and there's a scene as well as some bullet points for how I see things going for a while.

I hope you like it!

The Best of Us - Lavender AU

A/N: No real warnings, this is a Drabble. Lil baby Joel and Doc snack for you.

October 6, 2008

You couldn’t put it off any longer. 

You’d shown Joel and Tommy around the whole of the QZ and you’d tried to give Joel space while you did it. You weren’t sure where you really stood with him, what he would want from you. But he’d kept your fingers clutched tight in his grip the whole day, so often pulling you closer so your bodies were aligned and you could feel him beside you, still tall and broad and strong. He was still so substantial, still so… Joel. Still the man you loved more than almost anything else, still the man you’d planned to spend your life with once, still the man who had left you when you begged him to stay. Still the father of your child, something you were still afraid to tell him. 

He was still Joel and, while it felt like he was desperately keeping you close all day, you couldn’t be sure what that meant. It seemed like Joel and Tommy had been on their own for a while. You’d clung to Andrew, too, because he felt safe. You weren’t sure that Joel would want anything to do with you once he got settled in here. He hadn’t wanted anything to do with you before. 

And all that was before the Evie of it all. You hadn’t mentioned your daughter to him. He’d had no idea you were pregnant when the world ended and you had no idea how to bring it up now. Not that you hadn’t thought about it over the years but, for some reason, you’d thought you’d have some notice. You didn’t expect them to just turn up in Boston. You’d expected them to show up in Dallas or Atlanta and you’d hear about it on the radio, coordinate a time to talk to them and see how they were and if they’d even be willing to come to Boston at all. If they weren’t, you weren’t sure you’d even tell Joel about Evie. It seemed like an unnecessary risk because you knew - knew - as soon as you told Joel she existed, he would do everything he could to reach her. She was a child he didn’t plan for, one he didn’t want with you, but one he would do anything for all the same. You would see if they wanted to come to Boston and, if they did, plan to meet them and talk to her in advance so she knew what was going on. 

This had been so sudden. You’d told Evie precious little about her father. She’d asked about him, of course, when she learned that fathers were something children had but she didn’t. You explained that he was far away and that she may never get to meet him but that you knew he loved her very, very much. Because you knew that, if Joel was aware of her, he’d love her with everything he had. That’s who he was. You’d told her how much you loved her father and her big sister, that her father loved to play music and you found some of his favorite CDs at the black market so she could know his favorite songs, that her father used to build things. She didn’t know that he was here. You didn’t know how she would handle that and you didn’t have time to get her ready. 

All you could do now was hope that it went OK for both their sakes. 

“So,” you smiled a little, stopping in front of the apartment you’d helped secure for Joel and Tommy. “This is your place. I’m happy to help you get settled but there should be furniture and some of the basics inside, just whatever was left from people who were there before. FEDRA does a pretty good job of keeping the looting to a minimum in places they’re looking to house people and they check things over before someone moves in.” 

Joel’s grip on you tightened and you took a deep breath, stomach in knots. 

“I was hoping, though, that I might be able to steal Joel for a bit?” You looked between the two men. “Not that it hasn’t been great to see you, Tommy, and I’m so happy you’re here but…” 

“Nah, Kid, I get it,” he gave you one of his signature crooked smiles before clapping Joel on the shoulder. “You two have fun.” 

He got the key out of his pocket and headed up the stairs to his building, and you watched until he went inside. You turned to face Joel and found that he was staring at you, his deep brown eyes tracing over your face again and again. 

“If it’s OK with you,” you said, looking at him. “I’d like to take you to my place? It’s not far and there’s… there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” 

“Sure, yeah,” he said, lifting the hand that wasn’t holding yours but then seemingly thinking better of what he was going to do with it. “Whatever you want, that… We can do whatever you want.” 

You smiled tightly and led the way, clinging to his hand. Who knows if he’d want to keep holding it once he found out about Evie so you were going to touch him while you still could. 

“I’m up there,” you said, stopping at the base of the stairs up to your floor. “You… you should know that I don’t expect anything from you.” He looked confused but you pressed on. “It’s whatever you want to do, OK?” 

“Alright,” he said, brows knitted together. “Don’t much know what you’re talkin’ about but…” 

“It’ll make sense in a minute,” you said. “Just… Know that you don’t have to do anything.” 

You led the way up the stairs and dropped his hand before taking a deep breath and unlocking your front door. 

“…that’s against the rules though,” Andrew was saying as you came inside. He was sitting on the floor by your coffee table, a cracked version of Hungry Hungry Hippos sitting on the gouged wood and your daughter kneeling on a pillow across from him, her back to the door. Her dark curls hung to her hips and Andrew must have tied a ribbon in her half ponytail that morning that was now was hanging on for dear life. “You can’t just pick up the marbles, kiddo, that’s cheating.” 

“But they weren’t coming to my side!” She whined. “It’s not fair!” 

“Too bad for you,” he said, meeting your eyes and smiling a little before nodding in your direction. “Look who’s home!” 

She turned so fast that her hair twirled behind her, her eyes - warm and brown and deep, so like her father’s - wide and excited. 

“Mama!” She shot up from the table and rocketed for you and you caught her out of the air, picking her up and popping her on your hip. Her arms went around your neck and she buried herself in your shoulder for a moment before pulling back to look at you, a stern look on her small face. “Mama, you didn’t take me to school today, I missed you!” 

“I missed you too, baby girl,” you said, tugging her closer so you could kiss her cheek. “But I had something very important to do this morning and you like when Uncle Andrew walks you to school.” 

“I like when Uncle Andrew walks me AND you to school,” she corrected you. “It’s best when it’s both.” 

“I agree, it is best when it’s both,” you smiled a little and nuzzled into her, breathing in the sweet smell of her hair and skin. “But there’s someone I want you to meet. Evie, this is… this is my friend, his name is Joel. Joel, this… this is Evie. Short for Evelyn.” 

You looked away from your daughter, still holding her on your hip as you turned to fully face Joel. He was staring at her, his mouth slightly open, his eyes wet.

“Evelyn?” He asked softly, still watching her. 

“Evelyn,” you said, taking a deep breath. “Evelyn Miller.” 

“Hi!” She said brightly, starting to squirm in your hold. You set her down and she went to Joel, tilting her head all the way back to look up at him. “My mom doesn’t usually bring friends home, why haven’t I met you before?” 

“He just got here,” you said, coming up behind her and resting your hands on her small shoulders, watching as Joel took her in. His eyes lingered on her eyes and lips and hair. You knew he was finding all the parts of him that existed in her - she had so much of him in her - and that he was coming to grips with it all. “He was outside for a long time.” 

“Outside?” Her nose crinkled and she looked over to you. “But you said it’s dangerous out there.” 

“It is,” you said. “That’s why he came here. I knew him a long time ago, before you were born.” 

“Oh,” she said, turning back to Joel. “So did you come here to find my mom? Where did you come here from? Why didn’t you get here sooner? What…” 

“Why don’t we give Joel a minute,” Andrew said, coming over and taking her little hand. “It’s almost bedtime, yeah? Think there’s a little girl here who needs to start thinking about pajamas…” 

“But!” 

“Just getting changed,” he said. “Then you can say hi to Mommy’s friend again and you can drive him crazy with all the questions instead of just me, c’mon.” 

He scooped her up and mouthed ‘you OK?’ once she couldn’t see. You just nodded and he carried her back to her room. You watched them go before turning to Joel who was just staring at the hall they’d disappeared down. 

“I have a fire escape, out the kitchen window,” you said, nodding to it. “It’s pretty private. We can go there and talk.” 

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, OK.” 

You opened the window and clambered out of it, Joel following behind you. You took a deep breath, looking up at the moon, giving Joel a second to process everything. 

After a moment of silence, he spoke. 

“You have a daughter,” he said it so quietly. 

You nodded slowly. 

“I do,” you said. “She’s four and a half today, she’s very excited about the half. Apparently those six months are vital at this age…” 

“She…” he leaned on the creaking metal of the fire escape, his fingers clenched tight on the railing. “She was born… April then?” 

“April 6th,” you nodded. 

“Which…” he was fumbling for the words. 

You helped him out. 

“We made her my last trip to Texas,” you said quietly. You leaned back against the railing so you were looking at Joel instead of out to the other side of your apartment complex. 

“Jesus,” he breathed, looking back over his shoulder toward your apartment for a moment. 

“I know this is…” you took a deep breath. “It’s a lot. She doesn’t know that you’re her father and she doesn’t need to know. I know this wasn’t the plan before let alone now, especially not since…” You couldn’t bring yourself to say Sarah’s name. Especially not when you’d told Evie so much about her big sister through the years. “I don’t expect anything from you, Joel. You don’t need to be anything for either of us and I promise you I will take care of her. She’s my whole world, I’ll do everything I can to take care of her and she’s doing OK. Great, under the circumstances. There’s a preschool that some of the moms set up, she hangs out at the clinic with me in the evenings, Andrew does so much for her… I think she might like him better than me some days. I’ve taken care of her without you her whole life and I can just… I can keep doing that, it’s OK. You don’t need to do anything but I… I don’t know. I wanted you to know that she existed. That she has your hair and your eyes and sometimes she frowns like you which is so funny to me since she didn’t learn that, she couldn’t have, she just knows it…” 

“You were pregnant,” he said softly. “During the outbreak, when everything… you were pregnant?” 

You nodded, watching him. 

“And you… you were alone,” he said. “You did all that… you made it here alone, when you were pregnant.” 

“Not alone,” you said. “I found Andrew a few days in…” 

“And he was, what, 12?” He asked, voice sharp. You flinched a little. 

“He was 18 then,” you said. “But we took care of each other…” You watched Joel, his grip on the railing tightening. “What are you thinking?” 

“That I fuckin’ left you to do this on your own,” he snapped. “That I’ve been out there while you were here with our fuckin’ kid! I should have been here this whole time, I should have been there, with you then instead of…” 

“Joel,” you said gently, resting your hand in the middle of his back. He was so large next to you, the span of his shoulders so broad. “It’s OK. You didn’t know, it wouldn’t have been any different and she and I… we’re OK. We made it here, she’s got a roof over her head and food to eat and she’s loved, she’s so loved. She’s doing good.” 

He was quiet for a moment but he didn’t pull away from you. 

“Tell me about her,” he said, his voice pained. “What is she like?” 

“She’s very smart,” you smiled. “She reads very well, she started reading on her own about a year ago. She loves games and she’s very invested in things being fair. She loves animals, we look at old National Geographics all the time, she’s obsessed with giraffes at the moment but she’s also completely blown away by the fact that people had pets before. She desperately wishes she could have a dog in the QZ.” 

You looked at Joel, until his eyes met yours. 

“She’s really the very best of us,” you said quietly. “She’s smart and she’s strong and she’s driven and she cares so deeply. When she loves something she just hangs on so tight, she’s so… She’s doing well and it’s OK if you can’t do this. I know it’s not what you wanted and it’s OK if you can’t or just don’t want to, I don’t expect…” 

“I want to be there,” he cut you off. “She’s… she’s my… I need to be there for her. For her and… and for you. If you’ll let me, I don’t want to blow your lives up, baby, but let me be there for you and her, please.” 

There was a knot in your throat that you couldn’t speak around so you just nodded quickly, feeling Joel’s eyes on you. His large hand found your face, cupping your cheek as his other arm wrapped around you, his fingers spreading wide over your lower back to cradle you to him. 

“Please,” he said again, his eyes searching yours.

You put your arms around his neck and kissed him then, the feel of his lips on yours familiar and comforting, even after so many years. He held you close and tight and, for the first time since before the outbreak, you felt the heat of want flare in your stomach, the drive to feel him as close as possible strong. 

“Let’s go find Mama!” Andrew said loudly from inside and you pulled back from Joel, his hands still on you. 

“I don’t want to tell her who you are just yet,” you said quietly. “I want to ease her into it without it being too confusing but… want to come inside? Get to know your daughter?” 

“Yeah,” he said. “I do.” 

You smiled and took his hand, leading him back into your life. 

Other moments that stand out to me in this AU

It takes Joel and Doc longer to fully get back together, she's very cautious because Evie is involved. She doesn't want to send her mixed signals or confuse her.

Doc and Andrew lived together for the first two years of Evie's life. Joel very much resents that she had her early childhood years with another man and not him as her father figure.

Andrew was there when Doc gave birth. He held her through it and was one of the first people to ever hold Evie. It was love at first sight for him, she basically became his whole baby in that moment.

Joel and Andrew's relationship is even more tense in this version. Andrew is SO protective of Evie and Joel wants to be the man Evie looks to but that takes time. There is far more direct competition here.

Joel and Doc still split when he finds out the details of the pregnancy (namely that she knew about it well before the outbreak and just didn't tell him.) He still blows up at her and blames her for Sarah's death.

They can't stay apart nearly as long, though, as Joel might leave Doc, he cannot leave his daughter. They have to see each other regularly to play pass the kiddo. This leads to a lot more sex and off/on periods between the two of them over the years.

Doc and Tommy's love affair either a) never happens or b) is VERY short-lived. She's the mother of his niece, the relationship is different even though his feelings are the same.

Tommy is far harder on Joel about Doc in this universe because that's the mother of his whole kid right there. Tommy never had much patience for Joel treating doc poorly to begin with but that patience is even more limited in this reality.

Doc stays fully on the hook for Joel more in this fic because they never really have distance. She never dates Derek because she can't ever move enough past Joel to be with anyone else.

I THINK they'd get back together in this version a lot sooner (I'm thinking post McCarthy? They'd sleep together after and Joel would, at that point, I think understand that this isn't going anywhere in a way he doesn't in the OG version) but it's not easy. Joel is still trauma brain Joel in a state of constant retraumatization. They'd fight a lot. He'd still subconsciously try to distance himself from her. It'd be rough.

He's SO protective of Evie. So so SO protective of her. She pushes back against him a ton in her teens because she desperately wants some for of independence and Joel will not let her have it. She sneaks out a lot. Given what happened to Ellie, it's low key a miracle she's not bitten in the QZ.

I'm not sure Joel would take Ellie in this reality. Since he has someone to live for besides Tommy I don't think he'd be as desperate to go on a suicide mission searching for him. But let's say he does, it would mean either a) also bringing Evie along or b) leaving Evie with Andrew and Jess. It would be ROUGH.

I think they would still have Sylvie in Jackson. I think Doc would have always wanted another baby but neither of them wanted to bring a child into the QZ. Jackson - and the person Joel becomes on the way there - makes that possible. This might be the only version of the story that has both Evie and Sylvie in it.

So yeah! I hope that's some insight into this version of the story.

Thank you for asking, Bestie! Love you!!

[ohbo-ohno]

asking for any pricegaz thoughts if u have any 🙏

okay hold on give me a sec. i have thoughts to throw at the wall and hope they stick and make some amount of sense (scroll to the bottom for the fic ideas i have for them but will probably never write 👍)

((tw if you don't know my blog: discussion of toxic and abusive relationships below. i write dark fic))

so the power dynamic between price and gaz has the potential to be sssoooo hot to me, but it doesn't quite Click in the way i was expecting tbh? it took me a while to think of why but i think it's because gaz like... has too much of a spine

like okay: no matter how ooc it might be, in my head soap is disgustingly easy for ghost. would do anything he says, no matter how much he doesn't want to. but gaz feels like he's more likely to say no, to stand his ground and put up a fight

which totally makes the potential toxic dynamic between he and price way more interesting. price would have to use manipulation and more subtle methods to get gaz firmly in the palm of his hand, where ghost just has to shove soap hard enough in the direction he wants, yk?

and like. i love that. older man in power seeing this younger man and molding him slowly but surely into the exact shape he wants, doing it slowly and carefully enough to make sure he doesn't even realize what's happening (because the younger man would hate it). that bit where gaz questions what they're doing and price basically says "be okay with it or get out of my sight" despite gaz clearly being uncomfortable? ohhhhh there's something delicious there

here's the problem: if you've read anything i've ever written ever, you know it's mostly porn. i'm not very good at writing plot, and it's something i'm trying to work on in the depths of my google docs, but i know what my strengths are - sex scenes. in my ghoap fics, that's easy. ghost noncons soap, usually forcefully. but with the dynamic price and gaz need? a fic for them (in my mind) needs way more focus on plot and the way price is manipulating gaz

that being said, if i had the patience? and the confidence in my writing? these are the fics i'd write for pricegaz:

cult leader price x undercover cop gaz. price knows gaz is a cop as soon as he comes to their little town, but gaz thinks he's still undercover. i think i'd have price slowly coax gaz into his viewpoint, drawing him closer and closer to him (with the added bonus that he doesn't even have to be the one to cut gaz off from the outside world). i think eventually gaz would come to a Sharp Realization, and price would be forced to.... extremes to keep him. i think it would be very hannibal/will, with gaz trying to deny that he's fallen to price's level but eventually being forced to confront the fact that he doesn't really want to turn price in anymore

maybe something similar to ruyfylb - maybe truck driver price and his favorite lot lizard, gaz? a consensual exchange but gaz would definitely not be prostituting himself if he didn't have to, and he's not great at pretending to enjoy his time with price (which is what price really enjoys)

fisherman price x selkie gaz. idk the intricacies of this one, and you could totally make it nikgazprice, but i'd like to see jailer price who is resolute in his unwillingness to let gaz go while still trying to keep him happy. he's stern and strict but he does try to make gaz comfortable, yk? i think that dynamic would be interesting, but very slow since gaz isn't the fieriest of characters. i do not excel at slow lol

historical au - gaz has a distant relative who's just died and he inherits a title with no warning. when he travels to the country estate that's his new home, he meets the head servant john price. you could have price teaching gaz how to be duke (or whatever the title is) and keep that power dynamic, while also getting to lowkey have rich boy x mean older man smut. so like. win-win. ((just think of price bending gaz over and spanking him or railing him while having him recite his paperwork out loud to make sure he's reading....))

[mira-miraaa]

I Still Don’t Like You

✧ pairing: uni student!eren x fem!reader

✧ summary: while waiting for your friend, armin to arrive, you’re unfortunately stuck with his unsociable and unbearable roommate, eren. and as the storm rages on outside, you and eren find every little single thing to bicker about until all that frustration morphs into lust.

✧ content: 18+ MDNI, one shot, uni au, hatesex kind of-ish, thigh riding, penetrative sex, mild degradation, teasing, spanking, dirty talk, creampie, daddy kink, forced proximity, unprotected sex, wc 5.4k

✧ note: trying to write a hatesex scene but i’m too much of a softie so let’s see how this goes

The chime of the doorbell, followed by three knocks, came as a nuisance to Eren, who was too busy playing a video game. He assumed the person on the other side would get the hint that no one would answer, but by the fourth knock, he forced himself off the sofa. He should've guessed it was you - no one else was as persistent. And no one else would be outside while it was pouring rain. Yet, you were there, clothes drenched and shoes stained with grass blades and mud.

"Armin isn't here," Eren said, ready to shut the door.

"I know," you replied. "He told me to wait since he'll be back soon. He said he would send you a text telling you I'd stop by."

"Well, he didn't." He confirmed confidently, even though he hadn’t checked his phone in the past hour.

"He said he did."

"Nope."

Eren noticed your jaw clench before you pulled your phone from your pocket and began scrolling. He sighed, leaning his weight onto the doorframe as he waited for you to shove the device in his face. He read the exchanged messages, and you weren't lying. Armin did tell you to “make yourself at home” while he was away. Well, shit, Eren thought. He couldn't send you away. If he did, Armin would have a field day lecturing him about how he shouldn't be so rude. Lucky for you, Eren didn't want to listen to Armin's speeches.

"Take your shoes off." He begrudgingly opened the door wider.

"I was planning to."

To Eren's surprise, Armin, in fact, did send a message alerting him about your arrival. Followed by a string of texts asking why he wasn't responding and warning him not to ignore the doorbell. Eren tossed his phone back onto the sofa after sending an "okay" back as a response. It was an hour too late, but at least he had replied. After a few seconds, you appeared in the living room while Eren was already settled on the couch, placing his headphones back on paying no attention to you.

“Who was at the door?” Jean’s voice asked though the headset.

“Armin’s friend.”

“Who?” Jean persisted.

“Some chick.” He responded annoyed by Jean's questions. “Reiner! We were supposed to head right not left!” Eren shouted, throwing his hands in the air.

“The pretty one?” Reiner piped up.

“Now you pay attention?” Eren scoffed.

“Well, is it her?” Jean added.

“Yeah, now pay attention.” Eren rolled his eyes as the two idiots continued to talk about you. They were barely paying any attention to the game. Eren didn’t understand why they were so taken by you. Sure, you weren’t ugly, but you were annoying and rude. So fucking rude. It pissed him off.

Despite his evident dislike toward you, his friends - mainly Armin - didn't comprehend why there was animosity. Armin and the others saw you as this sweet girl, but Eren knew it was just a façade. You had shown him how cruel you really were months ago at a party. And ever since that interaction, he decided you were one of the worse people he had ever met. You were bossy, a know-it-all, and had such a smart mouth. He could never say anything because if you were around, you would correct or say something back. It was like you were trying to irritate him on purpose.

"Dude, what the fuck! Why the hell did you just kill me!" Jean yelled.

"Because you won't shut up." Eren smiled, feeling proud that he hadn’t missed his shot.

"Let's just focus; we're going to lose at this point," Reiner interrupted, exasperated by the constant fighting.

Unlike Eren, who had turned in his assignment a day early, his two friends had procrastinated until the last minute. Jean would've stayed longer to finish the game; however, Reiner persuaded him to log off immediately by reminding him his grade would drop. Eren was about to join a random team until he remembered you were there. Where the hell is she? He immediately thought you were snooping around. It sounded like something you would do. Scared by that thought, Eren walked down the hall to see the bathroom light on. He was about to turn around, but considering you had been there for a while, he decided to knock. 

"Uh, are you alright in there?" He cringed at his sudden awkwardness.

You opened the door enough to see Eren. He stood there, arms crossed with the same bored expression he always had. Would it kill him to at least politely smile? Anytime you encountered him, he was always in a sour mood. He was the definition of moody. But alas, he had let you enter his home, so the least you could do was be civil. “Can I borrow the hairdryer? My hair and clothes are cold and damp.”

“That's why you've been here all this time?"

“Would you rather me sit on the sofa with wet clothes?”

Eren sighed, running his hand through his loose hair before he looked at you. “Fine.”

Eren muttered something under his breath, but you didn't pay much attention. It was likely one of his many complaints about your presence. Instead of retorting back, you smiled and closed the door. It was best to avoid him as much as possible. You knew he didn't like you. Eren never tried to hide how much your mere existence bothered him. But you didn’t care. You couldn’t stand him either.

Once the warm air touched your skin, the goosebumps began to disappear. And you wished you had worn a raincoat instead of your favorite cardigan. Your jeans and socks were also damp, clinging uncomfortably onto your skin. Directing the heat toward the denim, you hoped it would make the material dry a smidge. However, it left your legs feeling colder once you removed the warm air back to your hair. It would likely turn into a frizzy mess, but you would deal with that later. At least this waterproof makeup is doing its job, you thought. 

Two knocks on the door were followed by Eren's voice. You cracked the door open again, noticing the clothes draped over Eren's forearm. "Here." He said, extending out the clothes. "Might be big, but it's better than the clothes you have on."

"Thank you, very thoughtful."

"I just don't want the couch getting wet," he stated. You shrugged, unbothered by his comment. You were too happy taking the dry clothes from him to bother with his attitude. "We can throw your clothes in the dryer."

"Thanks."

"Sure." And with that short response, he left.

Sometimes Eren's aloofness amused you, but most of the time, you found it off-putting. There were instances where Eren's snarky comments made you bite back. Especially when he muttered something under his breath. It was one of his annoying habits. He was always mumbling complaints about everything. Someone could trip in front of him, and he would be irritated at them for blocking his path.

Eren's irritable demeanor was the reason neither could get along in the first place. If it weren't for his snappy attitude, you and he might have been able to get along. But getting along with Eren was as unlikely as winning the lottery.

You had little interest in forming a friendship with him, yet sometimes you wondered how things might have turned out if neither insulted the other. Maybe if you hadn't said that his ex-girlfriend made the right choice dumping him, because who would want to date a guy with commitment issues, anyway? Your dig at him was based on rumors you heard on campus. You didn't know if he was unloyal, nor did you know who his ex was. At the time, though, it seemed like a valid response. Your anger drove you to say those things after he commented on your relationship.

Somehow, Eren knew about your cheating boyfriend, and you deciding to give the guy a second chance. Eren was sure to judge you for continuing to date your then-boyfriend. According to Eren, you only gave the relationship another try because you had unresolved abandonment issues. He could've stopped there, but he continued to talk, informing you that he had enough self-respect to accept when a relationship was over. Never had you ever hated someone so much on the first day of meeting them.

Neither you nor Eren ever apologized. You tried to move on, but sometimes you still heard his judgmental voice. Because in the end, he was right; trying to save the relationship was a disaster waiting to happen. When you finally broke up, you cried for days because you regretted not listening to the jerk. Knowing how little he cared, he had probably forgotten the entire fiasco. Pushing the unpleasant memory aside, you changed into the soft cotton black tee with some obscure band name. After securing the oversized shorts, you headed out of the restroom to find Eren immersed in his digital world.

"Where's the dryer? I can go ahead and start it." You said, gaining a glance from Eren. It wasn't until his eyes scanned your attire that you became hyperaware of how ridiculous you must look.

"The dryer is a pain in the ass, but lucky for you I've dealt with it enough to get it to work." He commented as he led you down the hall.

"Why don't you fix it?"

"If I knew how I would." He answered with an annoyed tone.

"Right." Calm down, he lent you clothes, you reminded yourself as your grip tightened on the wet fabric. "Why not call maintenance?"

"We have. The guy "fixed" it, but it still takes a few tries to properly work."

You quietly followed Eren toward the door adjacent to the restroom. While you waited for him to get the machine working, you glanced toward the bedroom across the hall. Similar to the living room, the room had floor-to-ceiling windows with a perfect view of the city’s skyline. The sky was grey, and in the distance, heat lightening illuminated the clouds while the rain continued to slide down the glass. It was a view you loved to admire each time you visited Armin.

“This place is pretty fancy,” you commented. “Surprising how they can’t fix a dryer.”

“That's what I said,” he grumbled.

“I wouldn’t mind though,” you added. “I mean with a view like this a dryer isn’t much of an issue.”

“You say that because you didn’t deal with it pausing every two minutes.”

“No, I say that because I mean it.”

Eren stared at you for a split second before returning his attention to the dryer. He mumbled, as usual, before telling you to toss your clothes in. The dryer made a few hazardous sounds before the clothes began to tumble. Eren didn't seem worried about the noises, so you trusted a fire wouldn't spark.

“Thanks again.”

“Sure.”

“Haven’t you ever heard of saying you’re welcome?”

“And you know you don’t have to thank people for mundane things?”

“I’m just being polite.”

"So, let me get this straight, you thank people for politeness' sake, not because you mean it?

“I mean it.”

“Now that’s bullshit.” Eren turned around and began walking back to the living room, where he sat back down, controller in hand, ready to resume his game. You sat on the opposite edge of the couch, arms crossed, trying to ignore him.

“You know-“Eren's humorless chuckle interrupted you. “What?” You snapped.

“Took you less than two minutes to bring the subject up again.” He said, eyes glued to the screen as his fingers effortlessly controlled his character. “I thought it would take you about five before you started saying stuff.”

“Why are you like this? You can't read me-“

“I can.”

“No, you can’t. You’re just an ass.”

“What happened to being polite, sweetheart?”

Sweetheart? The word made your blood boil. No, it wasn't the word; it was his arrogant tone. If he was trying to be belittling or intimidating, he failed. However, he had resurfaced your anger. I can't fucking stand him, you bitterly thought. You couldn't stand how he continued to play his stupid game. You hated how he lazily sat, manspreading, entranced with the virtual world. You despised how he easily ignored your presence like you didn't matter.

 Instead of retorting back, you sat silently, watching the rain hit the window repeatedly as thunder rumbled between the clouds. Sometimes your gaze would land on Eren's side profile, dark brows furrowed as the annoying clicking continued. He rarely moved, and if he did, it was to pop his knuckles or neck before muttering an insult to another player.

After what felt like an eternity sitting there without talking, Armin's incoming felt like a gift from the heavens. “Hey,” Armin said. “Sorry for the wait! I thought I would be back by now, but I'm still at my parent's house. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," you reassured. "Better to be safe at home than driving in this weather."

“I just wasted your entire evening. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“It’s okay; I had already set this time apart anyway."

“Not taking no for an answer,” Armin said. “I’ll order dinner next time we meet.”

"Can't say no to that."

If you weren't too focused on listening to Armin suggesting a day that would work for both, you would have sworn you heard Eren scoff. You didn't want to believe his discontent was because of you, but you couldn't rule it out either. Everything you did always seemed to annoy him. Ignoring Eren, you continued to talk to Armin for a few more minutes before saying goodbye.

“Is it okay to stop the dryer?” And for the first time since you had sat down, he looked at you. “I want to change before I leave. I do not want to look like a kid who raided their great-uncle's closet."

A slight smile tugged at his lips, but it disappeared as quickly as it appeared. “You look fine.”

“I don’t think so, but that is not the point. I need my clothes.”

“My clothes are not something a great-uncle would wear,” Eren said, completely ignoring everything else.

“Eren, seriously I don’t have time to argue with you - again.”

“We're not arguing,” he smiled, crossing his arms across his chest. “Just a difference of opinion.”

“That’s literally how arguments begin,” you groaned.

“But it’s raining.”

“So?” You deadpanned. “I drove over here in the rain, and you didn’t seem to question that.”

“But it’s really raining. And you said it is better to stay indoors than to drive in this weather."

“Fine, be that way. I’ll just break your precious dryer.” You said heading directly toward the machine that sounded like it was about to combust. At the sound of the controller hitting the coffee table, you quickened your pace.

“Don’t,” Eren warned.

Eren’s hand wrapped around your wrist, but he was mistaken to think that would halt you. You yanked yourself from his grasp and reached for the doorknob. Eren’s hands grabbed your waist, pinning you against his chest within a blink of an eye.

“Why don't you ever listen?" It was more of an observation than a question; either way, it annoyed you.

“You say that as if you do," you scoffed.

You angled your neck to make eye contact to find he was already looking at you. The close proximity magnified as a whiff of his cologne hit you. You could tell it was the same scent on the tee you wore. But on Eren, the intensity of the cardamom was seductive and sweeter.

"Someone needs to teach you how to be nice."

"Like who? You?" You rolled your eyes. "You're worse than me."

Eren's brows furrowed; you were really testing his patience. And if he was a real asshole like you claimed he was, he would have kicked you out the second you opened your mouth. That fucking mouth of yours that said all the right things to push his buttons. And those lips. Those kissable lips of yours that he wanted to have against his. But kissing you was a bad idea. Instead of acting on a regrettable impulse, he leaned closer to your ear and whispered. "Exactly like me, sweetheart."

Eren smirked, content that his little comment made you finally shut the hell up. He dropped his hands and walked past to open the dryer. Your clothes were still damp, but if you wanted to wear uncomfortable clothes in the pouring rain, who was he to stop you?

"Doubt you're capable of anything," you impulsively said as Eren faced the machine. "You're all talk, Eren. Guys like you only say shit because they have some ego issues." 

"Guys like me? Or do you mean guys like your ex?" He chuckled, glancing over his shoulder. The dryer door shut, and Eren turned around, your clothes in his hands as he approached you. He stood so close. His addicting cologne engulfed you, and all you wanted was to drown in his scent all night. "Doubt that scumbag is anything like me. Believe it or not, I'm fun to be around."

Your fingertips brushed Eren's skin as you reached for your clothes. The brief touch left you curious to feel his body; you wondered if his arms and chest were as soft. Once those lustful thoughts began infiltrating your brain, it was a warning sign that you needed to leave. Whatever sort of twisted game you found yourself in had to end. However, this dance of push and pull fueled your adrenaline. You wanted to see how far you could go. How far Eren was willing to go.

“According to who?” You challenged.

“You sure know how to be annoying as hell.”

“Not my question.”

“Don’t care.”

The distance separating you from Eren was gone. You were uncertain if you had stepped closer or vice versa, but it did not seem to matter. It didn't matter when the damp clothes dropped to the ground or when you felt your back touch the wall. It mattered less when his lips hovered a millimeter from yours, his palms flat against the wall, caging you in.

“Why don't I just show you.”

Your usual self would have said that you wouldn't want him to show you even if he was the last man on Earth. That you rather be celibate for the rest of your life. But you ached for him. Badly enough that you nodded with a soft okay before his lips were on yours. You sighed into the desperate kiss. Never had you kissed someone with so much heated need. All your emotions washed over you, reminding you how much you hated him. Hated how he wore the same rude, bored expression whenever he saw you. Hated how he seemed to talk to other people kindly while he usually dismissed everything you said. Hated the way he never greeted you. Hated how you heard stories about him with his friends and how nice he was, yet with you, he was as dull as a rock.

As Eren slightly tugged on your lower lip before caressing his tongue into your mouth, you felt yourself pour that hostility into the kiss. Eren reciprocated with equal heated fervor. You felt it in his hands as they traveled down your body, cupping your breast before going down toward your ass, giving it a tight squeeze. You sensed his self-conflict as your arms wrapped around his neck as he trailed kisses down your neck.

“Eren,” you sighed, feeling him press his thigh between your legs, aiding that desperate ache. You felt your sex begging for attention. Pleading Eren to soothe that burning desire you felt deep within you.

“You drive me insane.” He added pressure, and you hummed, rolling your hips slightly. “I want to punish you for all the headaches you give me while you’re begging for more.”

“You’re a lunatic.”

"And you're needy."

"I hate you so much."

"I hate you even more," he smirked, tugging down the waistband of the shorts you wore. The moment the fabric pooled at your feet, Eren caressed your ass, hooking his fingers onto the panties, but he didn't remove them. Instead of giving you what you wanted, his thigh lightly bounced against your center. The wet spot on the fabric damped at the feeling, and the satisfied smile on his face told you he noticed.

"Show Daddy what a needy slut you are."

The warmth in your cheeks grew hotter as your hips moved. You wanted to control yourself, to prove you did not want him. However, your body told another story. Your deep, shaky breath and the eager rocking of your hips were a dead giveaway.

"Eren, please."

"Please what?" You wanted to smack that smug look off his face so badly. You wished you could tell him he did not affect you. Because if you conceded, it contradicted everything you had ever said about him. Your claims about him being an average-looking guy who probably couldn't please would be thrown out the window. All the times you said you would never let him touch you when others seemed to be in line for a fraction of his attention would be lies.

Don't fight it. Tell him.

"Touch me." You caved in.

"Where? Here?" He peppered kisses down your jawline, nipping at the skin. "Or maybe here?" You breathed in deeply, feeling a light spank on your ass. "Perhaps you mean here?" His fingertips tapped on the wet spot between your legs. "It's here, isn't it?"

"There. Right there."

"See? Not so difficult," he chuckled, moving your panties to the side. You felt relieved, feeling two of his fingertips finally touch your aching core. He hummed against your ear as he touched and caressed your folds, gathering your arousal on his fingers. "Mmm, baby, you're so wet for me."

Without warning, Eren dipped two fingers into your entrance, slightly curling the digits before gliding them back out. You bit your lip to stop yourself from whining. You didn't want to inflate Eren's ego any further by letting him know you missed that brief touch. Your resolve didn't last more than a minute. His fingers were long, reaching places you couldn't. His knuckles grazed your folds the deeper he went, weakening your knees.

Eren could feel his dick fucking pulsing. He could feel that ache, that need to be inside your warmth, growing as he worked his fingers inside you. He wanted his dick to be hugged by your walls, but he was stubborn and wanted to see you beg for him. He needed to push you to the edge until you regretted being such a nuisance in his life. Wanted to show you just how much he couldn't stand you. How much your unpleasant attitude toward him irked him. He hated everything you did. He hated how your lips curved into a bright smile when you found something funny. He hated how you talked to him like he was nothing more than Armin's roommate. Most of all, he hated how you tried to befriend him that night months ago before it all went to shit.

Stretching you with his fingers wasn't enough. He needed to feel every inch of you with his cock buried deep inside you while you cried out his name. He wanted to fuck you into oblivion so you would never forget how good he made you feel. And if you ever came crawling back begging for more, Eren would gladly fuck you again and again. Until no one else could ever satisfy your needy cunt. He slipped his fingers out and placed them inside your mouth, your tongue cleaning them off like the good girl you were.

"Tell me what you want, baby." His question made the knot in your stomach tighten. And you knew the correct response, but he had teased you so much it was only fair he got a taste of his own medicine.

"Take off your shirt."

"Curios aren't you," he grinned, pulling the black tee off and tossing it carelessly onto the ground. You tried to maintain a neutral expression, but fuck. When Armin mentioned Eren didn't skip a day at the gym, he wasn't lying. The guy was toned. His shoulders were broad, and his collarbones were visible enough to caress. The lower your eyes traveled down his torso, you realized you were unapologetically ogling him, and it seemed to boost his ego. Of course, it did. "You can touch me y'know." He brought your hand onto his chest.

Despite trying to act nonchalant, your eager fingertips began to trace his collarbone, down the crevasse between his pecs, the ripples of his abs until you reached his happy trail. You looked up at him and watched how his adam's apple bobbed as you traced the outline of his bulge.

“You're hard." You looked at him with lustful eyes, hand sliding into the fabric until you cupped his length. It delighted you to see his unbothered expression finally breaking. He held his lower lip between his teeth. He was holding back. You were beginning to understand why he enjoyed tantalizing you. Watching as he tried to keep his composure made the wait a hundred times better.

"I want you," you finally confessed, pulling his sweatpants and briefs down. He was bigger than you anticipated. You would be lying if it didn't worry you, but you knew the pleasure you would feel from him would be worth it. So fucking worth it. You slipped off the baggy tee, and Eren's eyes devoured your frame with such desire it made your heart palpitate. Eren's arms wrapped around your body as he brought you closer to him, holding the back of your neck, deepening the kiss. Unlike the first time, this kiss was filled with an unknown passion and gentleness that surprised you.

"I want you too," he said, fingertips unclasping your bra before tossing it aside to be forgotten. His large hands cupped and kneaded at your breasts before he leaned down to lick around the areola. Your hands cradled his head as his tongue flicked the nipple and his mouth sucked, leaving your heart racing faster from the teasing touches.

"Daddy, please, I need you," you begged, tugging on his long, soft hair.

"Are you going to be a good girl for me?" You nodded, anticipation was eating you up and there was nothing else that you wanted more than Eren between your legs. "Turn around."

God, if Eren had known you actually listened during sex, he would've fucked you long ago. You didn't argue at all! Not one bit as you set your forearms flat against the wall, ass toward him, eagerly waiting for him to fuck you. Eren couldn't wait, either. Once you walked out of that bathroom wearing his shirt, he cursed his mind for going directly into the gutter. He couldn't help himself. All he could think of was you walking around his apartment, wearing his clothes with nothing else underneath. And now that you were there, ready to take him in, he was looking forward to enjoying every inch of you. All that was between him and your pussy was your sopping underwear. Eren wanted to rip them off you but knew you would whine about it, and he didn’t want to argue. Not now when he was so close to feeling you. So, like the gentleman he was, he removed them without tearing them apart.

And you were so wet. So fucking wet, that he wondered if arguing with him turned you on. He would not be surprised if it was some sick foreplay you liked. That possibility made his eagerness grow. He knew exactly how he would continue to torture you when you pissed him off. The look on your face, if he ever insinuated that you might be getting wet while arguing, would be golden. Yet, that would have to wait. Right now, all he was focused on was spreading your legs apart as he ran his tip against your folds. The sinfulness of your arousal glistening against his skin made him harder. He spat into his hand, giving himself a few strokes watching as you waited impatiently for him. He gave your ass a slap, jolting you forward when he saw your hand snaking down to your clit.

"Be patient."

"It's not fair," you whined.

"Needy, pathetic slut." He gave your ass another loud smack, inciting a lewd moan from you. He smiled, caressing the skin as you hummed, pressing your ass against his cock. "I'll tell you what's not fucking fair," he said, slipping his tip into you. "You and your assumptions - ah, fuck - about me - hell, you're so tight, baby."

Eren stretched you out so well that you felt like you had just entered heaven. He stayed there briefly, allowing you to adjust before pulling out slowly. You sighed upon feeling him again, but he didn't give you time to settle to his girth. His first few thrusts were gentle, but he seemed as desperate as you to feel that unadulterated bliss from fucking someone hard and fast. And that's what he proceeded to do. He fucked you like you were his and no one else's. Like if he was trying to prove a point that no one else would ever please you as he could. And perhaps he was right. You were enjoying feeling him slide in and out, skin against skin, as you moaned, begging for more.

Lightning illuminated the corridor as the rain continued to wash over the city. Moans and grunts intertwined with the echoes of thunder. Within a momentary stillness, you were able to hear your unsteady breath. You were able to focus on the pleasurable sensations running through your body. And you could also hear him. Could hear his soft breathing and even softer grunts like he was trying to keep himself from moaning. He was likely trying to be discreet about his own growing needs. Despite his efforts, you could feel he was enjoying himself. His hard shaft slipping in and out of your warm, tight cunt was all the confirmation you needed.

“I know you can go harder, Daddy,” You managed to say, trying to tease him but you couldn’t convey anything else other than pleasure. You yelped, as Eren’s palm sent a hot, stinging vibration down your ass. You tightly closed your watering eyes and tried to muffle your whimper with your hand.

“Too much for you, sweetheart?” Eren mocked, soothing the reddened skin. You shook your head, and he pulled out, turning you around to face him. He pressed you against the wall, hooking one of your legs to his hips.

"Want to see your face as I cum inside you."

"Already?" You smugly smiled.

“Starting to remember why I can’t stand you.”

“Yet, here we are.”

Your nails dug into Eren's shoulders the second he pushed into you. He wasn't holding back. He was sending you into another world. A world that muddled your thoughts and overwhelmed your senses. A place where you could feel his tip kiss that sweet spot deep within you. His kisses on your neck were sloppy, interrupted by his unsteady breathing as he continued to fuck you mercilessly.

"Touch yourself." And so you did.

As your senses became hazy, nothing else around you mattered. Not the thunderstorm outside, your schoolwork, or potentially getting caught by Armin. Nothing seemed to matter except you and Eren, seeking that release you both craved. As you felt yourself nearing your sweet release, you cried out Eren's name. It no longer mattered that he was the guy that angered you. He made you feel so good you were starting to forget why you hated him. All those reasons seemed unimportant. Having him praise you as you came undone under his touch was all you needed to hear.

"Good girl," he cooed. "I'm close too, baby."

You pulled him into a kiss as you felt him filling you up. Felt how some of his semen seeped through you. How it was shoved back in with his erratic thrusts. You glanced down, watching as your bodies connected in the rawest form imaginable. His movements slowed down, and he lifted your chin with his fingertip. You loved how his emerald eyes were looking at you. Not with hate or disdain but with lust and some distant adoration. You loved it. Loved how all his attention was on you and nothing else.

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