#but i'd feel bad
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[and one more for good measure]
#[ ☀ ᵛⁱˢᵃᵍᵉ ;; ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘʳʸ ᵒᶠ ᵃ ˢᵃⁱⁿᵗ ⁱⁿ ʰᵉʳ ᵉʸᵉˢ ]#i have so many that idr the source for :/#that i want to post#but i'd feel BAD
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i need a detox party people i SWEAR
#𐐺lockette yaps🫧ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.#i'm so close to just taking a break for a bit but i would not know what to do with myself#i'd have to follow that rehab rule of “Keep yourself busy”#I would lose it but I really do need it#but I'd feel bad#and guilty
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Skylanders Academy,,, Fourteen, I think?
(can you tell the hyperfixation is fading? well most are pre-written already, so i'll keep going regardless)
Season 2 Episode 2 - I Dream of Ninjini
-Behold, Berserker! One of the only, if not the only, Drow in the whole show. And he's not even an archer. For shaaaame.
-At first I thought he was Brock, a character from Skylanders Giants who has a similar personality and antagonistic role, but the names don't match up. Maybe when Berserker is just a stage name?
-Not sure if Brock eats Mabu, though, considered he stuck around on the Dread-Yacht and didn't eat Flynn or Cali.
-By the way, there's no way in hell Berserker is a ninja. They specialize in, well, stealth! It's possible he's just a heel character in Monday Night Ninja Fights, but considering that he's the same in person, it's definitely not a persona for him.
-Hm, I wonder how it would have gone if when Stealth Elf goes to fight Berserker, she finds just a real chill guy. Wouldn't have been as satisfying of an ending, but it could've been interesting.
-I know it's for the alteration, but I'm pretty sure Drow is pronounced like oh and not ow. Arrow, not clown.
-For Hugo to have a map leading directly to the package, which under what I think is a rock, it must have been hidden underneath it, by someone who would give its location to Eon, who would give it to Hugo. As it so happens, Ninjini lives in this very same forest.
-If Ninjini's lemon bars are forest famous, who's getting them from her? Possibly Berserker, since he's the lesser of the two evils currently in the forest. She might have even baked that cake for him!
-Sure, it might be a little goofy, but I kinda love Ninjini's fun aunt vibe. I always imagined her super serious and cool, so it's actuzlly really cute how they flipped that on the head.
-I bet Ninjini planned to monkey's paw the hell out of the Doom Raider's wishes, but didn't even get the chance to since they were all so tame.
-They set up a possible return for Ninjini, but she sadly never makes a reappearance. If I had to place her in an episode, maybe she could have replaced Kaossandra in Road Rage? I do like what we got with Kaossandra and Stealth Elf though...
-For some reason, I remembered the dragon tail being in a box, but uh, it's just out in the open. Wonder what I got it confused with...
-I mentioned that I think Ninjini was the one who hid the dragon tail, but why would she have it in the first place? I headcanon that it belonged to a friend of hers that died in the war, or maybe even one she had to kill because they had been corrupted by evil! I love tragedies a little too much, I think.
#skylanders#skylanders academy#i dream of ninjini#i have half a mind to tag ninjini's character tag to try and get more attention#but i'd feel bad#so i won't#review#my thoughts#beep's skylander review
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I waaaaant to keep posting UTG stuff to Twitter because I know people like it there but I just. reeaaaally don't enjoy using it
#it's exhausting and full of stuff i don't want to see#or stuff i'm tired of seeing#because the UTY community i'm surrounded by there most of the time is not really one i like to see all the time#i say this lightheartedly i mean nothing ill to anyone#there's some wonderful people there and either way do what ya want#i just. i don't know if it's just me being ace but i am genuinely so exhausted by the UTY twitter simping and art and stuff#AGAIN#NO HATE. MORE POWER TO YOU GUYS#and this feels like a stupid reason to talk about this#but like it's not JUST that#twitter is also just. not a place i like#for a multitude of reasons#and i don't really want to post much more there#but i'd feel bad#sighhhhhhhhhhhh#sock talk
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but you can't keep holding on like this.
#you can put a disability metaphor in any legfndary draconic entity. many people dont know this#my art#comic#ouroboros#for tag filtering:#blood#its a blurry day forgive typos#for search results:#bite down or let go#here's the deal ouroboros#for qna:#yes you can get it tattooed i would appreciate a tip through ny kofi (pinned) and i would love to see if you feel comfortable sharing#yes its an original quote i do write sometimes#no its not cringe or bad if you blorbo tag or whatever. go nuts. if i didnt want people connecting w my work I wouldn't post it#yes you can quote it in your own art and I'd love to see that too#anyways i love you. we'll both get through this regardless of how it changes us okay? i love you.
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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ngl im kinda debating on deleting one of my sylvaris to make a revenant . mostly bcus i dont think im enjoying the warrior class too mcuh </3
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"Go to hell" is basic. "Hope your favourite anime movie sequel gets cancelled after seven years in production AND getting an animated teaser." is smart. It's possible. It's terrifying. It's happened.
#I don't follow YOI#but seriously though I feel really bad for the fans#Mappa has such talented staff but management's work practices suuuuuck#those guys are probably being overworked on way too many projects and there's been too high a staff turnover to continue the film#like I'd be amazed if any of the original artists are still working on it#imagine working on it knowing now that your work won't see daylight and that none of the overtime or suffering was worth it#yuri on ice#ice adolescence#mappa studio
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summer of junior year 06/11
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#gorgug thistlespring#riz gukgak#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#fabian seacaster#adaine abernant#the bad kids#this is like. the First time I put down a palette for the kids lmao#I thiiiink its pretty consistent with the tones I did with my early sketches? iirc#gods. Ive been staring at this for Hours. I need to sleep lol#summer... it is happening. I feel like that always brings with it big emotions for me#it is. a little bit funny to me that whether these kids get a peaceful summer or not depends fully on how many roll20 campaigns happen#between now and a definitive end/last season of fh lmao#but also the last ''summer'' movie I watched was uhhh summer of 84. which. mmmmm#grim affair! so I'd need to stock up on less gloomy stuff to even think abt this...#well. what I need right now is sleep. so sleep I shall. thank u for tuning in today. see u again I think
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Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?
Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.
Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.
Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.
This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)
[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
———
Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...
Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:
I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?
Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said– I was giving them an analogy.
Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?
I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–
I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.
But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–
[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]
Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.
But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again.
[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.
I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.
Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.
Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.
But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m–
Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–
Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?
#Badboyhalo#BBH#Bad#QSMP#January 8 2025#Edited#I know folks are going to add their two cents on this subject in the tags / comments / replies (and as always you're welcome to do that)#But for the sake of my sanity please don't be an asshole to any of the CCs / ex-admins / fellow fans / anyone else. Thanks#Most folks here don't need a ''Don't be a dumbass'' reminder but I had to block someone for that earlier and it was a bit disappointing#This is going to be a Tumblr exclusive clip because I don't trust Twitter to have common sense or common decency about this topic#Tumblr exclusive#Anyways business aside – that black line on the side is just part of Bad's stream btw. He just Has That#Took too long for this to render otherwise I'd edit it out because it's annoying#I'm just realizing this screenshot doesn't even have Dapper OTL but it's the best one I have so I gotta work with what I got#Honestly; I still miss QSMP dearly... I love the core intent of the project and the multicultural exchange#I love all the language barriers that were broken and I loved all the stories that were told and watching beautiful friendships bloom#But I am still so angry and disappointed about how things ended and all the poor communication and the admin situation as a whole#It's a complicated feeling#I agree with pretty much everything Bad says here#It's ironic that he uses that analogy because I've said almost the exact same thing when explaining why losing any Egg was so devastating#We weren't just mourning for the characters. We were mourning for the admins too#I'll never forget that last stream with Tazercraft and Richas; and Pac ending stream in tears#I wish they'd done away with the Egg life system. I wish they'd done a lot of things differently#If the project ever does come back in some shape or form I hope they are more transparent about things and have better communication#I dunno how I'd feel personally. They would have to do a lot of work regaining people's trust#And frankly I don't think they'll ever regain that trust from a large portion of the community#I remember near the start of QSMP I saw a comment from a fan that simply said ''QSMP; please don't leave me feeling bitter''#I think about that comment a lot
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I try really hard not to do this because I feel so guilty over asking for any type of help, but I am in a really desperate position. I know I recently asked for help when our bank screwed us over, but my living situation has changed. And I am desperate to get out of it. I’m in so much debt I can’t actively change anything at this moment but I really need to.
I really, really hate to ask but I would really appreciate any help spreading the word about my business @flappyhappystim. This is an advertising post that I share on that blog.
I also have a ko-fi .
I also have some digital books I wrote on Etsy for $1 CAD. This is a book about my healing, and this is a poetry book. As well as a digital workbook for $6 CAD
I really appreciate any spreading of this post, or my post about my business.
Edit: I got an ask about my PayPal and I think this is the link for it.
#i know this won't stop the haters#but i am in a really bad place#and i am really emotional fragile#and if you could please think twice before sending me hate about this#i'd really appreciate it#because i just feel emotionally broken and tired#i've been crying about this since i discovered it an hour ago#personal#finances#idk what else to tag this as so people can blacklist#but tumblr won't come after my post
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Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#toshiro nakamoto#chilchuck tims#kabru#BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry.#Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong:#“dude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of you”. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH.#This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated.#I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them.#Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad.#When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment!#I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug.#Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends)#and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off.#I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi.#obligatory edit because I’m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc#YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him.#I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference
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2024 art summary! it sure has been a year
#ever makes art#i bsky tweeted a bit but it feels weird talking there still so ill do my usual rambling into tags here :)c#i burned out super bad in the middle of this year for months where it felt like i couldnt draw anything good no matter how hard i tried#and the harder i tried the worst it felt - to the degree that i legitimately thought i wasnt going to be able to draw anything again#which sounds SO dramatic i know i know. but feelings arent always rational!!! and so many others things were going wrong at the same time#so it was strange putting together this year's art summary and realizing Huh. i did still have paintings to put in every space#that fear/anxiety spiral seems even sillier and more meaningless now that i have distance and proof of how irrational it was...#...but in reflection i'd like to think of it as proof that even when you feel at your worse it's worth it to keep trying...!!#after the Black Hole of Nothing i've been working every day on never ending doujin and xv anthology and orv sketchzine and merch#i can't say that i feel my artistic skills have like. improved or anything... but the passion i feel for the stories i read and#the stories i want to tell is still there!! and the happiness from getting to put form to those feelings large or small is worth it too#anyway......... lotta words to say tho i haven't posted much anymore and socmed is imploding and the world is dark#thank you very much for staying with me another year. i am - as ever - always grateful
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jikook and japan ♡
#jikook#park jimin#jeon jungkook#btsgif#btsedit#jikookedit#userdimple#raplineuser#dailybts#are you sure#*g#i feel bad tagging y'all because all i ever gif is jikook 🤡#anyway if jungkook hasnt gotten over their tokyo trip how do y'all expect me to not be insane about it#i'd never tried to gif gcf tokyo and jk's editing truly is... something#beautiful on video. a nightmare to gif HFDFHSK#ige maja
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does anyone else ever feel like they never Fit In fandom spaces like. sure i create stuff SOMETIMES but i feel like such an outsider in the fandom and idk why asdkfsakdf
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1a85363be9f23bd943103d2a22657774/2f163c803873fe22-e1/s500x750/d7a80934263fe9ec4e2219b297a7cf38a35a391e.jpg)
#this might be because i dont really create stuff much#i just kind of hop in eveyr now and then and post#mayb if i actually wrote more fics and drew more art i'd feel more...involved...idk#LOL idk#i want to have more friends in the ml fandom but i am just. so so bad at talking to people#and i am not in any discord servers besides the one i made myself#mostly bc i dont know where to find them#also bc im afraid ppl just think I'm weird or annoying or off-putting sjfsjdfs#it's the tism#text post
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Spa 2009
#kimi raikkonen#sebastian vettel#simi#spa 2009#2009#giancarlo fisichella#he's just in the bg but I'd feel bad if I ignored him#that uncentered championship standings making it obvious I cropped most of the screen to focus them#then again who cares when kimi's hair is doing that
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