#but i’ve been thinking about it much more and i need more people to see it so here you go

[fuschiarulerinthebluebox]

Honestly this is one of the things I like about Rook, they’re NOT qualified for any of the things they’re doing. Like yeah they’ve got some background qualifications but they’re pretty average, just a normal person thrown into trying to save the world. They’re just a little guy ™ who’s personable and pretty solid at planning and utilising the skill sets of people around them (and frankly that’s a deeply undervalued skill in itself, like if you’ve ever had a bad project manager YOU KNOW how big a difference it can make). And let’s be clear, if you’re only picking the generic dialogue options it’s obviously going to feel like Rook has no fucking clue, the faction/background options add so much flavor, I love the little moments where Rook gets to nerd out with the rest of the group. Some of them definitely feel more impactful (looking at you Mourn Watch) but they absolutely allow Rook to speak peer to peer and be competent. But it’s not like the professionals know what they’re doing all the time either, just look at Lucanis at Weisshaupt.

I’ve seen a lot of really interesting takes, my fav is from @fanfoolishness, that even though no one directly addresses Varric’s death with Rook, they’re supportive/ hold space in their own ways (eg. Neve at the Wall of Light, Emmrich in the gardens, Davrin just taking a walk, Bellara having Rook help her light the braziers for Cyrian, Lucanis having Rook help plan the funeral). And navigating a death that big is hard even if you know someone really well, I do wish they had spent a little more time processing that after Rook figures it out but I get why they didn’t as far as timeline. My first play through was MW and I definitely had a moment of “oh no, I haven’t done any rites for Varric”. I do really like the head cannon/ theory that Solas inadvertently tied a little piece of Varric to Rook when he did his little blood magic nonsense, and Rook really is seeing some echo of him.

Along those same lines, as much as I love petting Assan and playing rock paper scissors with Manfred, I wish they had let Rook interact with the party more at the lighthouse outside of the special conversations. Rook in a lot of ways does act like the group therapist, and I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. Can it be a little tedious as the player? Yeah, but for the characters it’s a natural progression of trusting what is essentially your coworker to becoming friends you rely on. Then there’s the twisted funhouse mirror of this same progression with Rook and Solas, going from almost-enemies to not-totally-truthful confidants and then unlikely-unsteady-forced-proximity allies.

I think at its core, Rook feels like a companion to all these “Main Characters” because Varric chose someone like him. Someone who is kind and helpful (see also: all those complaints you can play a mean/evil Rook), makes goofy jokes, listens to the people around them, and isn’t necessarily a hero but can make those hard choices if they need to. And yeah at a meta level it could just be poor writing or the game having been worked over by so many changes over a decade, but if we the player trust Varric we have to remember that Varric and Rook have been traveling together for more than a year and Varric trusts Rook. Rook is leading because Varric trusts them to do what’s right, not because they’re the absolute best at everything, not because they’re a hero. Trust.

This was probably way longer than it needed to be and rambled a little a lot , but I do think it’s a pretty solid game especially after so many revisions, and keeps the souls of a Dragon Age game.

What’s really jumping out at me on my second playthrough is that the writers of the first three games understood that your character was the main character. The Veilguard writers clearly thought that the main characters were their characters, the companions.

Every scene is about setting the companions up as cool or competent or sympathetic. Often, this is done at Rook’s expense. The companions get all the witty one-liners; Rook’s attempts at humor not only frequently fall flat, but are frequently called out for falling flat (even when they’re completely automatic and the player has no say in them).

The companions have all the knowledge and skills; Rook just brought them all together and gives them all pep talks so they can focus. I’m trying to edit out all of the comments where Rook is like “Um… what????” from my videos, and let me tell you, it takes WORK. There are A LOT of them. I can count on one hand the number of times when the Inquisitor or Hawke comes across as dumb, but it seems to be a built-in, unavoidable part of Rook’s character. I have not selected a single “purple” option in all of Act 1, and Rook is still coming across as the kid who tries to be the class clown to cover for the fact that he’s always confused. Rook’s role in most scenes is to say “Uhhh… what?” so that the companions look smart.

Rook is always the one offering sympathy and never the one getting it. No one actually comes to comfort you after Varric’s death. No one asks you how you’re feeling about having to lead the team now that Varric is gone. No one tries to reassure you or give you advice for dealing with the trickster god haunting your dreams. We’re told that Neve could keep Solas out of your head, but she never actually offers to do this for you. No one comforts a Shadow Dragon Rook when Minrathous is destroyed or a Grey Warden Rook when Weisshaupt is destroyed. Rook’s problems don’t matter. Only the problems of main characters matter.

Rook is a secondary character in their own story.

[bweeeb]

PUPPY EYES

Synopsis: When Pedro doesn't take you to the awards ceremony for his new movie, your relationship starts to go downhill with the thought that maybe you're too young to give him everything he needs.

Warnings: nothing major, angst, couple with problems, Pedro and you are 26 years apart.

Career, projects, new movies, memories, and that topic that always left you unsure—was it negative or positive anticipation when people brought up relationships?

It wasn’t news to anyone that five months ago, when you and Pedro made it official that you’d been secretly seeing each other for a year, people started digging into every little detail. And a few months ago, the age difference between you two didn’t bother anyone in your social circle. Both of you were adults who knew exactly what you were doing with your lives.

Even your parents, who had initially been surprised by the man 26 years older than you, eventually came to accept your choice. So it shouldn’t bother you or anyone else anymore.

"So, I don’t think you’ve ever openly talked about your relationship with Pedro Pascal after making it official. Is it okay if we discuss it?"

The podcast host smiled at you, and you let out an embarrassed laugh, shrugging.

"Why not?"

"How did you two meet?"

"We worked on the same movie, so we were constantly together on set. One thing led to another."

"And you never thought, like, ‘Wow, he’s way too old for me,’ since there’s a significant age gap?"

"Twenty-six years, isn’t it?" Another host interrupted.

"Didn’t he say in an interview that he wouldn’t date anyone with more than a 20-year age difference? Doesn’t that make you curious about what changed?"

"Well, when we met, I didn’t think much about it, and I don’t think he did either. Yes, he mentioned that he wouldn’t date someone with a 20-year age gap. But I’ve always had a thing for DILFs, and he’s definitely one. One thing led to another, without either of us realizing it."

Your cheeks flushed as you spoke honestly, your eyes briefly catching your publicist’s approving thumbs-up from behind the glass.

"I think it’s much more about connection than anything tangible, you know? Our age difference is almost unnoticeable in our day-to-day life now."

"Pedro is, what, around 50 years old? Let’s not pretend it’s entirely unnoticeable." One of them chuckled, and you narrowed your eyes, frustrated at how your words were twisted.

"You’re young, clearly with the body of a 23-year-old, while he’s middle-aged. I think people are just curious about what made you stay." The other one chimed in, leaning toward the mic. You smiled politely, glancing between the camera and the hosts.

"Maybe the real question is what makes him stay. He had a firm opinion, and suddenly, it changed. Pedro has the purest and most beautiful soul in the world. He laughs at his own dad jokes, he shows me things I’d never imagined because he’s from 1975, and he’s a man with a capital M who treats me like the last rose petal in the universe. So, honestly, if he ever agrees to do an interview with you, maybe you should ask him what makes him stay.

"After the podcast aired, what you thought would be a calm discussion turned into a social media battleground. People twisted your words and intentions.

"A man taking care of a child—what nonsense."

"Really, ask him why he stays because she’s unbearable."

"Did she call his jokes ‘dad jokes’? Who does that to their boyfriend? RUN, PEDRO!"

"She’s just after his money."

"The most boring woman in the world is with the hottest man alive. How does that even happen?"

"She has nothing to offer him. Relax, ladies, it won’t last three more months."

"Dakota Johnson seemed interested in him; I wouldn’t be surprised if he ditches this corn husk for her."

"If I knew he was into younger women, I’d have listed a hundred better options than Y/N."

"Wait, guys—he didn’t even take her to the Gladiator premiere. How serious do you think this is?"

It was exhausting. Even though you avoided reading the comments, they popped up everywhere, and all the therapy you’d done to maintain a stable mental health seemed to be slipping through your fingers. But Pedro couldn’t know, so you plastered on a sweet smile whenever you saw him, even as doubts began to creep in.

Maybe you really were the worst option for him. Maybe someone older, with similar experiences, would be better. Someone more mature, less bubbly and silly.Sitting in the car, you stared blankly out the window as Pedro talked about the Gladiator premiere—the one you hadn’t attended because you weren’t invited.

"Hey, are you okay?" It wasn’t that you weren’t listening. You just didn’t have much to say, so you let him keep talking.

"Yeah, I’m fine. Go on."

Your smile didn’t falter, and you silently thanked yourself for being a good actress.

"No, you’re not fine. What’s wrong?"

"Of course I am. It must’ve been surreal, babe. Even Dakota Johnson was there, right?"

"Yeah, but what’s wrong with you?" His eyes left the road momentarily to glance at you. You shook your head.

"Nothing. You’re just imagining things." You leaned over, cupped his face in your hands, and pressed a kiss to his lips before pulling away.

"Eyes on the road, old man."

"Okay, but I thought I was your daddy."

He exaggeratedly rolled his eyes as if offended. You loved that about him—the way he was so expressive and dramatic, some might call it embarrassing, but you found it endlessly entertaining.

"You know when you’re my daddy," you said with a mischievous smile, swallowing the rising bitterness in your throat. That night was the last time you slept at his place. Over the following days, you insisted on being dropped off at home, and Pedro didn’t argue. He simply observed your strange behavior.

At first, he thought you might be pregnant and unsure about what to do. But then he remembered you weren’t the type to hide something like that. He considered that maybe you were overwhelmed with your new projects, but you usually loved talking about them. And then, his thoughts landed on your relationship. Had he done something wrong? He couldn’t pinpoint anything.

Five days later, the two of you were at a dinner with friends. Everything was going well until it wasn’t.

"Hey, Y/N, why didn’t I see you at the premiere? I thought I’d catch a glimpse of you in a glorious dress," Lux, Pedro’s sister, asked.

Your cheeks burned, and your heart raced with nervous discomfort. Were you supposed to admit you hadn’t been invited? No. Your mom had taught you better than that.

"I…" A nervous laugh escaped your lips as you shifted uncomfortably in your chair. You didn’t dare look at Pedro beside you, though you could feel his guilty puppy-dog eyes on you. You wouldn’t give in.

"I had some things tied up with the script for the movie. It was a hectic week."

In reality, the script had been finalized, and even if the writer had faced complications, you’d have found time to support your boyfriend and contribute new ideas to the director.

"Ah, really? What a shame. I hope everything’s okay now," Lux said.

"Oh, it’s all sorted," you replied, forcing a smile.Your smile faltered briefly when Pedro’s hand tried to find yours under the table. Clearing your throat, you stood up, announcing that you needed to use the restroom.When you returned, Pedro was chatting with one of his friends, and you were grateful he was too preoccupied to bring up the earlier conversation.

"Wow, did you do something with your hair? It looks blonder, or is it just me?" Hazel, one of Pedro’s friends’ girlfriends, asked politely.

"Yeah, I did. Amelia’s amazing," you replied.

"Oh my gosh, give me her number, please. I need something this stunning."

"Of course, I’ll even book you an appointment if you want."

"It’s impressive how an older man managed to snag someone as beautiful and sweet as you," Lux teased. Normally, you would’ve laughed it off, but everything felt different that night. You chuckled falsely, smiling as you’d been doing all week.

"Oh, come on, stop that," Pedro said, sounding uneasy. He could sense your odd mood.Of course, you were acting strange.

Everything had been strange lately.

Later, in the car, your gaze rested on your hands in your lap while you felt Pedro’s eyes boring into the side of your face.

"Honey—"

"If we could not talk about this now, I’d be much happier. Can you just take me home?"

"You know I want to—"

"Pedro."You turned to him, tired of pretending. Your voice was tense, and he immediately understood how serious it was. You never called him by his name. "Stop." Your tone wasn’t angry or annoyed, just lifeless. That terrified him. Women didn’t usually scare him. At nearly 50 years old, he thought he’d learned to handle these situations.

"I’m sorry, okay."

His gaze returned to the road, while you looked out the window, waiting to get home.

As you were arriving, you realized he wasn't taking you to your house but to his instead. Closing your eyes, you let out a sigh and covered your face with both hands.

"What are you doing?" The words came out muffled as you felt him slow down.

"Going home."

"This is the way to your house."

"My house is your house, darling."

"You know what I mean," you whispered, exhausted.

"I thought you didn’t want to go. That it would be too much pressure for you, that... that you wouldn’t want people talking."

You heard him lament, and biting your lip, you sniffled. You tried hard not to act childish in the situation, looking up and taking a deep breath, reminding yourself not to let the tears fall.

"I know," was all you managed to reply before your voice broke.

"I... I just need to think for a bit."

"Think... right. Think about what?"

"Can you please take me home?" Pedro nodded at that and drove to your building. For the first time, he felt a strange haze between the two of you.

"Thank you." Even in the awkwardness, there you were, sweet as ever. Pedro could never deny how much he appreciated that about you—the way you always thanked everyone for everything. You were so pure. "Anytime." You opened the car door and stepped out, but before you entered the building, Pedro got out and called after you.

"I'm sorry. And I love you." That’s what he said before you turned to look at him with sad eyes—the same expression you wore when you thought he had forgotten to pick you up for a date, only to find out he was planning a surprise trip to Chile.That night, Pedro went home with his tail between his legs. When Lux called him in the morning, he couldn’t have felt worse.

"You look like one of the infected from The Last of Us. Gross."Lux teased as Pedro rubbed his face with his left hand."What do you want?"

"Wow. Rude."

"Sorry, I didn’t sleep. Just tell me why you’re calling me at six in the morning."

"I was thinking about how you said Y/N was acting strange, and I agree. Last night, she was quieter than usual. Pero luego empecé a preguntarme: ¿la invitaste al estreno? Porque se puso muy rara después de que lo mencioné y estaba revisando los comentarios..." ( But then I started wondering—did you invite her to the premiere? Because she got all weird after I brought it up, and I was checking the comments...)

"Ya te dije que no revises los comentarios. La gente está loca". (I already told you not to check the comments. People are insane.)

Pedro rolled his eyes, sighed, and collapsed onto the couch, exhausted. You and Pedro had talked about ignoring online negativity countless times. Neither of you usually cared about it. You weren’t starting now, were you?

"Lo sé, lo sé, pero se están portando fatal con ella. Y al no invitarla, la gente pensó que la estaban dejando de lado". ( I know, I know, but they’re being awful to her. And not inviting her made people think you were sidelining her.)

Lux sounded worried, almost angry.

"Eso es ridículo. Yo nunca haría algo así. Ella lo sabe. "(That’s ridiculous. I’d never do that—she knows that.)

"La compararon con Dakota Johnson. No es justo, son completamente diferentes. Dijeron que te cansarías de la 'niña'. Sabemos que es más madura que la mayoría de las mujeres, pero aún es joven". ( They compared her to Dakota Johnson. It’s not even fair—they’re completely different. They said you’ll get tired of the ‘kid.’ We know she’s more mature than most women, but she’s still young. )

Pedro propped his elbows on his knees and sighed. You had never acted immaturely. You never made rash decisions or threw tantrums over small things. You never picked fights or complained about work or friends. People didn’t know anything about your relationship—how could they?

"¿Crees que está preocupada? "(Do you think she’s worried)

"La mujer está intentando mantener la compostura y alejarse antes de que la abandones, como todos han estado diciendo". (The woman’s trying to hold herself together and pulling away before you ditch her like everyone’s been saying.)

Lux sighed and continued,

"Deberías haber escuchado cómo habló de ti en ese podcast. Nadie más sería así, no como ella. Haz algo. ( You should’ve heard how she talked about you on that podcast. No one else would be like that—not like her. Do something. )

Fuck. Pedro thought. He’d be stuck working all day, knowing you were likely asleep now. As the day went on, you ignored his missed calls. Not as an act of immaturity but because you needed personal space. You planned to talk to him eventually, but your phone felt like a weight you couldn’t bear. Instead, you threw yourself into work, ensuring every detail was perfect.Later, your group decided to go out for dinner, and you joined to keep your mind occupied. You loved them all but remained mostly a listener. Exhausted from a sleepless night, you struggled to follow the conversation, though you smiled at their stories.After dinner, you excused yourself to the restroom. As you washed your hands, you overheard two women talking in mocking tones.

"Do you think it’s a PR stunt?"

You frowned, listening as the other responded,

"It must be. I mean, it’s all over the news, and she’s playing the sad little girl role."

"Yeah, right? He used to call someone 25 a kid, and now he’s with a 23-year-old? Ridiculous."

"Did you see the photo of him with Dakota at the bar?"

"What? When?"

"Today, about an hour ago. She was kissing his cheek, and even if it’s for the movie, I doubt it. They weren’t even working."

"Think he’ll trade her in?"

"She won’t last ten days."

You grabbed your phone and opened Twitter. The first thing you saw was the photo of him and Dakota. He had that drunken smile on his face as she wrapped her arms around his neck. You weren’t the jealous type, fully aware of how PR worked in Hollywood, but it still stung.You washed your hands, turned to face them, and said,

"At least I’m more than a nameless extra without a single line. The only roles your venomous tongues will land you are in adult films, and not the Pearl kind—cheap, disgusting ones. Have a good night.

"With that, you left, hailed a cab, and went home. Fighting back tears, you repeated to yourself, Don’t cry. It’s just a picture. You ignored him all day, so stop acting like this.But for the first time, you cried over something like this.

Your head ached, and with the tip of your nose red, you picked up the phone and called him—without thinking too much, without wrestling with your thoughts. You just did what you felt needed to be done.The first call went straight to voicemail, and even though the thought of not wanting to humiliate yourself for him crossed your mind, you ignored it, knowing you were the one who had lost ground first. On the second call, your phone was answered, and the muffled sound made you swallow hard—he was out of the house.

“Hey.”

Your voice came out low, and you heard some murmurs on the other side, blending with loud conversation.

“Hello?”

A woman’s voice called from the other side, and you grimaced. “Uh, hi. Is Pedro there?”

“Uh, he’s kind of busy right now,” she said.

“Busy…” you repeated softly. “Who are you?”

“Carly.”

Carly? Who the hell is Carly? you thought immediately.

“Then tell him I called, Carly.”

“And you are…?” The mocking tone in her voice irritated you, and your expression was far from pleasant.

“A friend. Tell him a friend called.”

“Great.” She hung up without saying anything else, and you wrapped yourself in your own cocoon of blankets that didn’t warm you like Pedro did.Suits was playing on TV while you avoided going to bed, eventually falling asleep without even realizing it. Around 3 a.m., frantic knocks on your door startled you awake, making you look warily down the hallway. The doormen usually informed you of anyone coming to your floor.

Cautiously, you peeked through the peephole and saw him there, rubbing his face with his two hands, five times bigger than yours. You stopped, stepped back from the door, and sighed before opening it. Once you unlocked the door’s security latch, you looked at him and almost closed it again upon seeing your reflection, still wearing his shirt.

“It’s late. What are you doing here?” Your voice came out softly, and you saw Pedro stammer as he raised his hand in a nervous tic.

“A friend?”

“What?”

“Why did you say you were just a friend, sweetheart?” Pedro asked, stepping forward. You didn’t step back, only shrugged and gave a disheartened smile

.“She said you were busy. I thought it would be more… convenient than saying something else.”

“You’re something else. You’re my girlfriend. And my fiancée. And my wife. And I don’t care if you want to be the mother of my kids when I’m a hundred years old.”

He’s so drunk, you thought.

“How much tequila did you drink, Pedro?”

“The whole bottle.” He laughed, moving closer and gently touching your face. He’d always been gentle; being drunk didn’t change that.

“Please don’t tell me you’re breaking up with me.”

“I won’t say anything to you while you reek of cheap booze and cheap women.” You closed the door behind him and stepped away, heading to the hallway and your closet to grab a towel and clean clothes for him.

“Take a shower. If you sober up, we’ll talk.”

Pedro knew what you were thinking—that he’d gotten mad, drunk with his friends, and gone out with women named Carly. But he hadn’t done anything other than stare at the karaoke machine, hating every second he wasn’t there to mock what he was hearing.

“Everything’s cheap,” he laughed, following you.

“You know what isn’t cheap, Pedro? My patience. I haven’t slept well in over a week, and now it’s almost four in the morning, which means it’s been twenty minutes since you showed up at my door, and I don’t know why the hell you’re not naked yet.”

Your words left your mouth, and Pedro smiled at you.

“One day without you, and I forget how hot you are when you’re bossy and sleepy,” he slurred, making you laugh softly as you turned on the shower and pushed him into the bathroom.

“Don’t fall in there, please.”

Fifteen minutes after you pushed him inside, your eyes were heavy, and the strange way your body associated his presence with a different kind of rest annoyed you. Without realizing it, you fell asleep on the couch, wrapped in your blanket. It was as if your body said":

— Oh, it’s okay; Pedro’s home, so we’re safe,— but was your heart safe?When he saw you asleep there, the tequila had only left him dizzy—nothing a cold shower couldn’t fix. He approached and carried you to your room without thinking twice, whispering as he looked at your face:

“I’m so sorry, my preatty little thing.”

He laid you on the bed, and as he was about to leave, he heard you murmur:

“Stay. Please.”

Without hesitation, he lay beside you, pulling you against his chest and wrapping you both in a cocoon where it was just the two of you.

“Have you ever thought that maybe I’m not the right person for you?” you murmured, burying your head in his neck and feeling his hands trail up your back.

“Have you ever thought that maybe I’m not the right person for you, sweetheart?” he emphasized, and you sighed.

“I’m scared of losing you when you realize I’m too young, too naïve, and haven’t even experienced half of what you have.”

“I don’t even know why you’re thinking that. I’m the one who’s old. You’re perfect, intelligent, hot, and extremely talented—a young woman who fell into the arms of an old man like me.”

“Yeah, but I think maybe one day you’ll want someone your own age, someone like Sarah or any of your exes. I think it’s okay if you get bored of me, start feeling ashamed, and—”

“Stop. Stop that.” Pedro cupped your face, pulling it from his neck and making you look into his eyes. Your hands rested on his chest as you stared at him, and with a disheartened smile, Pedro caressed your face, clearly upset. When had your relationship reached such a fragile state?

“I didn’t take you to the premiere because the press is cruel. They’d talk about you, probably reinforce the rumors, and talk about me—call me a disgusting creep. I was going to take you, but all of our advisors told me not to risk exposing you in a bad light. I… I would never feel ashamed of you, for God’s sake. Look at you. A woman of any age wouldn’t hold a candle to you in a million years.”

Sniffling, you climbed onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. Pedro sat on the bed, hugging you back, his hand resting gently on your waist.

“You don’t need to worry about anything. Whatever was written about you was a lie. God, I don’t think I even know how to live without you by my side anymore.”

You laughed, and a smile appeared on his lips.

“You don’t need to worry either. Other men lost their appeal the moment you wanted me.”

“That’s good, sweetheart.”

His hand traveled to the back of your neck, his large fingers running through your hair.

“And who was Carly?”

“A friend of the group.”

" And why did she have your cell phone?"

" It stayed on the table because I focused on looking at it for five to five minutes waiting for you to send me a message. "

“And the photo?”

He knew what you were referring to, and when he took it, he hadn’t expected it to reach you before you two made up—if you made up.

“It was to promote the movie, sweetheart. Dakota’s engaged.”

He brushed your hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear.

“Hmm, alright.” You looked at him, tracing your fingers from his hair to his beard until they stopped at his mustache.

“Stop looking at me with those puppy-dog eyes. It makes you irresistible.”

“Like this?”

He did it again, and you laughed, kissing his lips immediately after.

“Mm-hmm, like that.”

You murmured against his lips as he smiled at you, and you whispered,

“I love you.”

“I love you more, sweetheart. Just you.”

Pedro pulled you close, laying you back against the soft mattress, kissing you as if it were the last moment of your lives. At least, that’s what both of you hoped.

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

I apologize if there are any mistakes in this writing. I didn't proofread it with the best eyes.

Requests are open

[snowysosturn]

Fire & Desire - Matt Sturniolo Part 9

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Pairing: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary: Y/n has always clashed with Matt. Despite working for Chris’s clothing brand and being close with Nick, her relationship with Matt has always been tense at best. While being forced to be around each other more, their animosity turns into something deeper. Can they overcome their differences, or will their fiery emotions tear them apart?

Warnings: MDNI, angst, tension, mentions of drinking and being hungover

I glance at the bouquet one last time, the petals now frayed with bits of trash throughout it. With a sigh, I place it gently back in the bin. Keeping it would feel.. strange. Too much. But the card.. that’s something I can’t seem to leave behind. I place it back in the envelope and slip it into my pocket before picking up the box I’d left on the floor and putting it in the trash before heading back inside.

My mind is elsewhere as I make my way to Chris’s room. I knew I needed to get the company card to get Chris a new phone, I’ll have to order it today to make sure its here before he heads to Hawaii.

I push open the door and see Nate falling asleep in Chris' bed. He looks up as I step inside.

“Hey” I whisper, leaning against the doorframe. “I’m looking for the company card. Have you seen it? He usually keeps it on the desk”

Nate furrows his brows and shakes his head. “I haven’t seen it. You’re right though they all usually leave their things on their desk, I didn't see it though.”

“Exactly” I mutter, scanning the desk for any signs of the card. Nothing.

“Maybe it’s in Matt’s room” Nate suggests with a shrug, trying to go back to the sleep I just brought him out of.

I exhale sharply, already feeling the tension creeping in. “Of course it is” I mumble, more to myself than to him. “Thanks, Nate.”

Leaving Chris’s room, I climb the stairs, my footsteps heavier now. The closer I get to Matt’s room, the more I debate what to do. It’s not like I haven’t been in there before, but I still feel like I'm intruding, it was.. complicated.

I stop in front of his door, my hand hesitating on the handle. Taking a breath, I tell myself to stop overthinking. It’s just a debit card. Get in, grab it, and get out.

I push open Matt’s door cautiously, the slight creak of the hinges sounding louder than it should in the stillness. I make my way over to his desk in the corner of the room and scan over it. No card there either. Where could Chris have put this?

My eyes wander around his room. Then I notice it. Perched on his bedside locker, standing upright and slightly tilted as if placed deliberately, is the thank you card I gave him.

It oddly makes my heart skip a beat.

He kept it? Not only that, but he put it on display? I stare at the card, feeling a mix of emotions swirl in my chest. It must mean something to him, right? I gave it to him on a whim, thinking he’d either forget about it or toss it in the trash without a second thought. But here it is, sitting there like it’s important.

Next to the card is a silver metallic bag. It catches the light, sleek and reflective, and my curiosity flares. A gift bag? Then I notice other memorabilia and cards.. Maybe that’s just where he keeps things people give him? For a moment, I picture him tossing everything he’s been handed into one spot without a second glance. The realization makes me pause, a wave of doubt creeping in. What am I still doing in here? I shouldn’t be snooping around, especially not in Matt’s room. It feels invasive, like I’ve crossed an invisible line, yet I can’t seem to stop myself.

My gaze flicks back to the thank you card, and for a brief second, I remember those rare moments when Matt wasn’t a complete asshole, when he’d let his guard down and show an ounce of kindness. Those glimpses of him were few and far between, but real. It made me curious if there was more to him, buried beneath the layers of anger and arrogance.

I clutch the envelope from the flowers in my hand tightly, feeling its edges dig into my palm. It suddenly feels heavy, like it’s holding more meaning than it should. What does it all mean? I shake my head, snapping myself out of it. This is too much. Too personal. I need to leave before I lose myself in this train of thought. I turn on my heel, heading back to the door, but my feet feel heavier with every step, like I’m leaving something unresolved behind.

I sit on the couch in the living room, I put the small envelope in my pocket and take out my phone. My thoughts spiral as I decide to scroll through the thread of messages Matt and I exchanged earlier. Did I really want to text him for answers? Our last messages to each other were.. tense, to say the least. His frosty replies and my final comment about it being the “last time” we’d texted each other still lingered in the back of my mind. 

Why am I even considering this?

Wait, I actually need to text him again.  My mind is getting so caught up in hidden meanings I’m forgetting what I actually have to do. Chris wasn’t reachable, and Matt was the closest connection I had. I sighed, composing myself as I typed out a message:

"Can you tell Chris the business card isn’t in his room?"

I hit send and waited, the seconds feeling like minutes. A response popped up almost immediately:

Matt: "Thought you weren’t going to text me again."

I rolled my eyes so hard I thought they’d get stuck. Of course, he couldn’t resist. I typed back, my fingers moving quickly:

"I don’t have a choice when you’re my communication with Chris."

I pull out the envelope from my pocket to read the card again, the words on it now etched in my mind. Y/n, I’m sorry for last night. I went too far, and you didn’t deserve that. The difference between his words to me at times was crazy. There’s something about the simplicity of the note, paired with the effort it must’ve taken to even organise it, that makes me pause. I wanted to bring it up to him. What had changed between the moment he decided to buy those flowers and when they ended up in the trash?

Maybe it was an accident? The thought feels washy, but I cling to it.

Before I can second guess myself, I snap a picture of the card, my hand shaking just enough to blur the first attempt. I steady myself, retake it, and attach the image to a new message. My fingers hesitate on the keyboard, then type:

"Apology accepted."

I press send before I can change my mind. The message bubbles with the photo of the card and those two simple words feel heavy in my chest as I sit back and wait for a response. My phone remains silent, the screen mocking me with its lack of activity.

It’s in that quiet moment that Nick’s voice cuts through my thoughts, yelling my name from somewhere upstairs.

I sigh, putting my phone in my pocket. Whatever Matt’s response might be, it will have to wait.

 I hear Nick shouting my name from his room, his voice brimming with excitement. “Y/n! Come here! I’ve good news!”

Curious, I quicken my pace and climb up the stairs and into his room. He’s sitting on his bed, laptop in lap, grinning like a kid with a secret he can’t wait to spill. His enthusiasm is contagious, but I still raise an eyebrow. “What’s going on?” I ask, crossing my arms with a small smile.

“I’ve got a surprise for you.”

I laugh, already skeptical. “What kind of surprise?”

“A fun one!” he teases, leaning back dramatically.

“Okay, spill it, Nick.”

“You’re coming to Hawaii with us!”

I blink at him, waiting for the punchline, but it doesn’t come. “What?” I finally manage to say, my voice in disbelief.

“You heard me” he says, beaming. “I just bought a plane ticket for you. You’re staying in the same villa with us. It’s all set.”

For a moment, I just stare at him, trying to figure out if he’s pulling some elaborate prank. “Are you serious?”

“Dead” he replies, his grin never faltering. “You deserve this.”

I laugh nervously, shaking my head. “Nick, you’re messing with me. There’s no way.”

“I’m not messing with you!” he insists, raising his hands in mock surrender. “I booked it already. Ask Chris if you don’t believe me. I brought it up to him the same day he invited Nate and he immediately agreed.”

The sincerity in his voice starts to sink in, and my disbelief slowly gives way to shock. “Wait.. you and Chris talked about this?”

“Yeah” Nick says, his tone softening. “Look, we both know you’ve been through a lot lately. Between the apartment, Ethan.. well, life in general, you deserve a break. You’ve been working so hard for Chris too, so we figured, why not?”

I take a step back, the weight of his words hitting me. “Nick, that’s.. that’s so nice of you. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know I didn’t have to” he says, shrugging like it’s no big deal. “But I wanted to. You need this, Y/n. And honestly, it wouldn’t feel right going without you.”

I feel a lump forming in my throat, a mix of gratitude and shock making it hard to speak. “I don’t even know what to say. Thank you, Nick. Seriously.”

“Don’t thank me yet!” he says with a laugh. “Wait until we’re sipping cocktails on the beach.”

I laugh with him, shaking my head in disbelief.  I take a deep breath, trying to process everything. A trip to Hawaii? It feels surreal, and the fact that they thought of me, that they wanted to include me, it’s overwhelming in the best way. I just wasn't sure everyone on the trip feels that way.

“Okay, okay. But, uh.. I’m going to need clothes. And a bigger suitcase, considering I don’t have much anymore. I’m practically down to my last jumper already.”

Nick smirks, getting up from his bed and walking to his closet. “I was hoping you’d say that. Shopping trip tomorrow? My treat.”

“Nick, you really don’t have to do that-”

He cuts me off, holding up a hand as he pulls a jumper out from his closet. “Oh, I absolutely do. You’re going to Hawaii with me, and there’s no way I’m letting you go with just whatever’s left from the wreckage of Hurricane Ethan. You need new outfits, bikinis, something cute for dinners, sandals, sunglasses. Everything. Also, take this for the minute so you have an extra jumper.” He says, passing me a yellow Ralph Lauren jumper. 

I blink at him, both surprised and slightly overwhelmed by his enthusiasm. “Nick, I can’t let you spend all that money on me.”

“You’re not ‘letting’ me do anything” he says, rolling his eyes. “I’ve already decided. Besides, think of it as a business expense.” Giving me a smirk.

I narrow my eyes at him. “A business expense?”

“Yeah! You’re part of the Fresh Love family, right? Consider it an investment. Plus I have the company card right now” He winks, clearly proud of his reasoning.

My mouth drops. “Oh my god you had it all this time!” I laugh.

“Yeah I ordered Chris a new phone too, he should be grateful.” He says raising his eyebrows. “And let’s be real, you deserve it. You’ve been working nonstop for weeks, and I don’t think you’ve treated yourself to anything in forever. So tomorrow, we’re hitting the mall. Clothes, a suitcase, anything else you need, we’re getting it.”

I laugh, shaking my head. “Okay, fine. But promise me you won’t go overboard.”

“We’ll see” he says with a mischievous grin. “Tomorrow, 11am. Be ready.”

I sigh, knowing there’s no point arguing further, but deep down, I’m touched by his thoughtfulness. “Alright, deal. But only because you’re so annoyingly persistent.”

“You love it” he teases, as I walk out of his room. I sit on the edge of my bed, yellow jumper in hand, shaking my head. Nick could be over the top sometimes, but moments like this reminded me why he was one of my closest friends. I placed the jumper on my bed and smoothed it out, the vibrant yellow popped against the neutral tones of my duvet. It wasn’t my usual style, but it felt cozy, and I couldn’t deny I needed it.

As I set it down, the faint scent wafted up again, warm and slightly spicy. It made me pause. For some reason, it gave me the strangest sense of deja vu, but I dismissed it just as quickly.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, breaking my train of thought. Hopeful, I took it out, but it wasn’t a notification from Matt. I opened our thread anyway, checking to see if he’d responded and I’d missed it.

Read.

The message I sent, sat there unanswered. It was petty of me to even care, but I couldn’t help it. He’d gone to the effort of sending flowers and attaching a note, yet he couldn’t bother to say anything back?

I tossed my phone onto the bed with a sigh, the screen still glaring at me with his name.

Whatever. I don't know why I bothered with Matt at all. I wasn’t going to let his silence ruin my mood after the news Nick gave me.

I picked up the jumper again, pressing it against my chest. It was soft, comforting even. I folded it carefully and placed it in the top drawer of my dresser, smiling faintly at the thought of having something new to wear tomorrow, well, new to me, anyway.

Matt's POV

After Chris ended the call with Y/n, I felt like absolute trash. The hangover was kicking my ass, my head pounding every time I moved. Christina and Rachel had left a couple of hours ago, thankfully leaving Chris and I to just sit and recover in peace.

We were sprawled out in the living room, the TV playing some random movie in the background. Chris was trying to nap, meanwhile, I was doing my best to ignore the lingering pit in my stomach from last night’s events.

My phone buzzed on the armrest next to me. I lazily picked it up and saw a text from Y/n.

Y/n: "Can you tell Chris the business card isn’t in his room."

I sighed and looked over at Chris, who was dozing on the couch. “Hey, Y/n says the business card isn’t in your room.”

Chris perked up slightly, scratching his head. “Shit.. maybe it is in my wallet” he mumbled, checking his back pocket.

I turned back to my phone, typing a short reply.

"Thought you weren’t going to text me again."

The message delivered, and I leaned back into the couch, not expecting much more. My phone dinged almost instantly, though, and I glanced down.

Y/n: "I don’t have a choice when you’re my communication with Chris."

She had got me with that one. But then another message popped up, and this one made me sit up straight.

"Also, I found these."

It was followed by a picture of the card I’d attached to the flowers I sent, sitting in her hand.

"Apology accepted."

My face burned instantly. Embarrassment clawed its way up my chest and settled in my cheeks. Fuck. I can’t believe she found them. I hadn’t even planned to explain myself, it was impulsive, throwing them out, but it also was something I thought she’d ignore or pass off without a second glance. And yet here she was, calling me out on it.

Chris looked over, raising an eyebrow at my sudden movement. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing” I muttered, trying to compose myself.

I stared at her text for a moment, my mind racing. My fingers hovered over the keyboard, typing out a response.

"Thought Nate could get you some instead."

I hesitated, my thumb hovering over the send button. Debating on whether ot not to press send.

a/n: sorry this took so long to put out, i was super busy and now im sick soooo hopefully i get over it quickly and part 10 is out soon, this is also kinda short n kinda shit so apologiesssss

taglist : @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel  @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @chrisstxrnsaxe @sophand4n4 @vickytaa @marrykisskilled @bxtchboy69 @yourfavsturniologirl @julisturn @sydneyylainn @sophia-77n @trevorsgodmother @sturnslutz @yourmother29 @girl24cherry @astronea @pinkdyit

[4doras]

DOCTOR! DOCTOR! ౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆

how could a star player who never makes a mistake keep getting hurt? ⊹♡

basketballer!gunwook x studentnurse!reader

genre. fluff, mentions of getting hurt

wc. 1.4k

a/n. doctor doctor is stuck in my head and i’ve been wanting to make a gunwook fic, so it’s perfect timing ^_^

everyone knew park gunwook — gunwook, the star player of the school’s basketball team, gunwook, the guy who never missed a shot, gunwook, who wouldn’t miss a game for the world. he loved basketball, and everyone loved him, everyone except you.

you didn’t hate him per se, but you wouldn’t seem to find the hype around him. of course, you could agree if people spoke about his looks, but his personality? he wasn’t anything special.

more under the cut!

gunwook was flawless on the court with his precision and skill. no one could ever remember a time when he made a mistake, but lately, something odd had started. ever since you became the nurse at the clinic, gunwook had been getting injured more than usual. it was as if every time he played, he’d somehow end up with a bruise or a twisted ankle, always finding his way to you to get treated.

you couldn’t understand why he; who was so perfect, kept making these mistakes on the court. due to your slight dislike of him, you tried to keep your distance, but with each injury, you ended up seeing him more. and though you didn’t want to admit it, a small part of you wondered if it was more than just bad luck.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖๋ ࣭ ⭑

“y/n?” a voice echoed through your silent office, “could you bring your kit and come to the court? gunwook got hit in the head.” you recognised the boy as one of gunwook’s friends, another basketball player. “alright, i’ll be right there.” you kept your composure light and smiley, but you couldn’t think of a way how gunwook, someone who was also known to have good agility, could’ve been hit in the head hard enough to need someone to care for him.

you weren’t in any rush to go over, not like the other players were, but when you noticed him rubbing his head, you figured that you might as well check, turning your slow walk into a paced jog.

as you made your way over, you noticed his friends were acting a bit… strange. they weren’t laughing or making jokes, but there was a weird energy between them — glances exchanged, suppressed smiles, like they were all in on something. gunwook wasn’t in much pain, just a bit shaken, but his friends were acting like everything was perfectly normal, almost too normal, considering the situation. you couldn’t put your finger on it, but the way they behaved around gunwook left you feeling a little suspicious. they weren't concerned, not in the way you'd expect after an impact like that, making you wonder if they were up to something.

you crouched by him, holding him up so he’d sit up properly, had he been laying down flat before. “does it hurt here?” you gently put pressure on his forehead, unsure of where he got hit. “a little,” his voice carried a hint of discomfort, “it’s kinda like… here.” he took your hand off of his forehead, bringing it to the side of his head. “tell me when it hurts.” you gradually applied more and more pressure on the area, promptly hearing a wince. “i think you’ll be okay, just be careful. follow me, i’ll get you some ice.” you got back up, extending your hand toward him, offering him help to get back on his feet.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖๋ ࣭ ⭑

he sat in front of you, waiting for whatever help you could give. once you looked at gunwook closer, you noticed a few scratches on his hands and a small cut on his forehead. it wasn’t serious, but you still reached for some ointment and a plaster to tend to the wounds. carefully applying it to his forehead, you found herself realizing gunwook looked a lot cuter up close than you ever really paid attention to before. his features were soft, and even with the small scrapes, there was something about him that made him seem a bit more attractive than she’d expected. you quickly pushed the thought aside, focusing on helping him rather than letting her mind wander.

you couldn’t be thinking like this — about gunwook, or anything else that made your heart flutter a little, but it was hard. it didn’t make sense. you knew he wouldn’t like you back, and that was fine. you didn't think less of yourself, but the truth was clear: there were so many other girls that were prettier and ‘more his type’ who thought of him the same way too. you had no reason to dwell on these feelings, especially when it wouldn’t lead anywhere. you couldn’t let herself get caught up in something pointless.

“focus, y/n. don’t daydream, your patient is hurt!” he whined, playing a small pout on his lips. “i’m not… i’m just a bit tired.” you hoped your lie was strategic enough, but acting wasn’t your major. he could see straight through you. “hm,” he cooed, “tired of what?” gunwook tilted his head to the side in mild confusion, the corner of his lips curled up into a playful smile as he looked at you. it was almost as if he knew that you weren’t telling the truth and was waiting for you to explain. “tired of you always coming here. i thought you were the best player, how come you keep ending up hurt?”

gunwook couldn’t help but giggle, seeing how clueless you were. you had no idea how obvious his feelings were. it was like a secret game to him, watching you so unaware of how much he liked you, despite him constantly creating a reason to find you.

gunwook knew exactly what he was doing when he’d fake an injury during basketball practice. it wasn’t that he actually got hurt, but he’d always manage to ‘slip’ or ‘twist’ something just enough to need attention. but the real reason? he loved having your attention on him. he’d sit there, trying to hide his grin, pretending to be in pain just to have you close. it wasn’t that he wanted to get hurt, but the way you cared for him made his heart race, and the excuse to see you — even for just a moment — was worth it every time.

“you’re seriously blind, huh?” he folded his arms, an irritating smirk on his lips. “i like you, silly. i’ve only been getting hurt because i wanna see you, and it wasn’t even that big of an issue… to me, at least.” gunwook couldn’t help but smile, his eyes lit up with a quiet confidence, as if the words he just said were exactly what he’d been waiting to say for a long time.

“what?” you couldn’t find the right words. you wanted to say something, anything, but the words just wouldn’t come out. every time you opened your mouth, it felt like they got stuck somewhere in your throat, tangled. the more he came to your office, it became more obvious to you that you liked him. you knew that much — maybe more than you even realized; but trying to put it into words felt impossible. it wasn’t that you were unsure of your feelings, it was just that every time you looked at him, all you could think about was how much you wanted him to know, but not knowing how to say it.

“i’m not joking, y/n. why do you think i’d keep coming here for something so small, like a cut? i could take care of that at home. i come here because i like you, because i want to see you.” gunwook looked at you, his eyes held an honesty that was impossible to miss, as if everything he was feeling was laid bare in that quiet, unwavering gaze.

“please, give me a chance, y/n.” you couldn’t say no to him, his eyes were basically kneeling in front of you, pleading for you to say yes. “you’re so desperate, it really doesn’t fit your look.” you giggled. you couldn’t believe the park gunwook was on his knees for you. “is that a no?” he said, in a much, much sadder voice. “i didn’t say it was.” you couldn’t help but laugh at his face. “i like you too, gunwook. but you better stop getting hurt for me.” you crossed your arms, pretending to look annoyed, but the playful smirk tugging at your lips betrayed you.

“i promise i’ll stop,” he put his pinky out, “and i’ll win every game for you.” his smile grew bigger. you locked your pinky with his, and pressed your thumbs together. “you better.”

[4urvalidation]

A CASE OF LIMERENCE | Chapter One

CHAPTER ONE |

There's no one waiting for her. 

With her phone in one hand and trolley full of suitcases in the other, Leni helplessly watches as a crowd of happy faces reunite with their loved ones, while she just… stands there. At first she thinks Rose might be running a little late and although this is rather uncharacteristic of her Godmother, Leni decides to give her some grace. The woman’s husband just died, be normal! But when fifteen minutes turns into two whole hours and her hoard of texts and calls are left unanswered, Leni has no other choice but to panic a little. 

It’s fine. 

You are fine. 

You know this place like the back of your hand. 

Her uber is chatty. He tosses her bags in the trunk like they are mere pieces of paper, but once he does a double check on her location Leni watches a million different emotions go through his face before finally settling on a rather unreadable one. She thinks he is about to ask questions regarding her connection with the Camerons, but he doesn’t. Instead, he turns up the radio and focuses on the long road ahead. 

In the meantime, Leni tries calling Rose again, but is once again left with an unanswered call and what now seems to be a warning of a full voicemail. Her mood worsens; the prickling in the tips of her fingers sends jolts of anxiety in every inch of her body and - what if she’s overreacting? 

What if, Rose is simply standing in the shadows of the ever daunting Tannyhill with Sarah and all their friends by her side, patiently waiting for Leni to arrive so they can finally throw that much needed surprise party she’s always been secretly hoping for? 

There’s no point in panic calling Sarah now; not when Leni has perfectly convinced herself that all of these missed calls are just a silly little ruse; a cruel prank she is yet to be mad at and when the uber drops her off in front of a house shrouded in darkness, she becomes even more convinced in the delusion she has created for herself. 

Even in the dark Tannyhill looks as glorious as ever. She remembers coming here for the first time as a doe eyed ten year old and being so impressed by its bigness that when she saw the pyramids for the first time in the following year all she could muster was: “I’ve seen bigger.” All of her best and most favorite memories were made in the halls and rooms of this giant of a house, but when she looks at it now, all Leni can feel is insurmountable pain. 

There is no surprise party waiting for her inside. 

With all her might, she tries convincing herself again; tries to read into the dim light coming from the random room on the ground floor, but despite all her attempts, Leni simply cannot escape from the truth: grieving people don’t throw parties. 

Her heart pulses in the middle of her throat as she presses the doorbell and allows herself to wait again. She no longer knows what or who to expect, but much like the plethora of calls, this too is left unanswered. 

Leni sighs and pulls her phone out of her pocket. It’s a winless fight, but perhaps this one last dial might be the one Rose finally decides to pick up-

“You came back.” 

A rough, almost dehydrated voice captures her attention and almost instantly Leni swings her head around. Standing before her is a face she hasn’t seen in a while; the only face she dreaded seeing each time she stepped foot in Tannyhill. But the Rafe Cameron in front of her is nothing like the one she remembers loathing all those summers ago. 

This one is frigid, with a pin straight back and even straighter shoulders. Hair buzzed dangerously close to the scalp and a suit so well fitted, it actually makes him look somewhat attractive. 

“Hey.”

“Elena.” His voice sends a child down Leni’s spine and she can’t help but notice the way his entire face dropped when he realized it was her standing there. 

“Yeah, I uh-”

“Sarah’s not here.”

“I know, Rose-”

“She’s not here either.”

Leni blinks. “What? Where… Where is she then?”

“I was hoping you’d tell me that.” 

“Me? Why would I know where Rose is?” 

Her heart is beating so fast and hard against her chest, she can barely hear her own thoughts, little alone pay proper attention to just how close she and Rafe have been standing until now. She watches as he silently retreats in the darkness of Tannyhill’s main corridor; his silhouette becoming one with the shadows and even though she can no longer see them, the coldness of his blue eyes lingers on her skin like poison. 

“You comin’ or what?” He bellows, waking Leni from her trance and she’s about to go in when Rose’s warning from all those years ago starts echoing in the back of her head. Like police sirens they grow louder and louder; enhancing the prickling in her fingertips and tightening the knot in the pit of her stomach. 

“I’m pretty tired actually, so I think I’ll just-” 

“Fine. I’ll bring it to you.” 

A wave of relief washes over Leni just then. She knows it’s far too soon to let her guard down, but she’s so tired… With heavy steps she marches herself over to Tannyhill’s surprisingly small stoop and allows her body to crash against it. 

How can Rose do this her? 

How can she insist Leni come visit and then not be here? 

“Here.” For the millionth time, Rafe’s voice jolts her upward. “She left this for you.” 

Suddenly wide eyed, Leni carefully snatches the small piece of paper away from Rafe’s hands. Gently, she grazes her fingertips against the curves of her name; Rose’s familiar handwriting unexpectedly brings a dash of warmth and comfort that grows even bigger once she realizes the letter is still very much sealed shut. 

Her gaze meets Rafe’s again and she really doesn’t like just how tall and daunting he appears from the angle she’s looking at him from. And whilst he’s always been somewhat scary to her, this new and improved version of him is a far cry from the boy she once upon a time used to make fun of in the comfort of Sarah’s room. 

The Rafe from before didn’t loom over her like some benevolent spirit. He simply made fun of the gap in her teeth and threatened to cut her hair in her sleep if she ever dared to step foot in his room again. 

“You really don’t know where she is, don’t you?” She asks quietly. 

“No.” 

“I don’t understand… She said it was okay. She said I was more than welcome to come here and-”

“When exactly was this?” 

Their eyes meet again. 

“A couple of months ago.”

“And you and Rose haven’t spoken since?” 

“No! We did. We… text. She, she…” Her hands scour through the mess in her bag, desperate to show Rafe all the text messages she and Rose have been sending one another in the past week, but much like most things regarding Leni, he seems uninterested. “She was supposed to be here.” 

“Yeah well… she isn’t.” Rafe laughs bitterly. “Fucking bitch. She has my sister, you know that? Wheezie. She waited for me to finally be out of town so she can take my fucking sister away from me! MY FUCKING BABY SISTER!” He shouts and Leni practically jumps out of her skin. “Stupid fucking bottle blonde ass whore!” 

Rafe’s fist collides with Tannyhill’s facade and if she didn’t know it then, Leni sure as hell knows that now is the time to fucking go. Her shaky fingers make several attempts to call an uber, but she’s in so much distress, she can barely press any buttons. And since her day hasn’t been shitty enough, Leni’s hands suddenly decide to stop functioning altogether. Helplessly, she watches her phone graciously slide away from her hands and fall onto the dirty gravel next to her feet. 

“Fuck.” 

Cold, cold sweat trickles down in every visible area of her body - this can’t be fucking happening - as Rafe’s heavy footsteps draw closer and closer. With a lump in her throat Leni watches him scoop up her poor little phone, before handing it to her with the same blase attitude he handed over Rose’s letter.  

“Y’know, you shouldn’t be walking ‘round with a broken screen like this. You can get hurt or something.”  

“Right. Thanks.” Leni blinks at him. “I’m gonna go now.”

“‘Kay.” 

The sound of her beat up sneakers echoes across the entirety of Tannyhill and the grip on her suitcase is so strong, she can almost no longer feel the heat of Rafe’s fingers against her skin. Unfortunately the same can’t be said about his gaze. Those haunting blue eyes of his follow each and every single move of hers like a shadow. He should’ve been gone by now; retreated in the darkness of his hollow home and never think of her again and yet, there he is - watching her. 

When she turns to look at him again, he doesn’t flinch like others might. He just stands there -shamelessly- with his hands in the pockets of his perfectly tailored pants. 

“You want me to drive you?” He says in a tone so condescending, it almost feels like the old Rafe is back. 

“No. Thanks.” 

Rafe nods and remains unmoving until Leni is inside the uber and on her way to the address written on the letter Rose left her.

━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⸰ .° ☆ ° ☆ °. ⸰ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━

| CHAPTER TWO

[beastgoddk]

State of Harley 2025

Talked about it before but I’m most likely going to be quitting my full time job. The plan, at least in the short term, is to work on art; I wanna make more games, and possibly open up commissions in the future (not soon, sorry). Frankly though, right now, I want time to work on my problems, have new experiences and be around people I care about, new and old. Lately I’ve been feeling some of the worst depression I’ve ever felt in my life. I cannot stop thinking about killing myself. Sorry, I’m a fraud, I know I wrote about telling you all to live. I want to be better. I want to embody what I talk about. I want to believe I can avoid stagnating or falling further into a spiral, and that we all can. I’m tired of feeling so alone and disconnected. I feel like I was only born five years ago. When I look at so many of the people around me I feel such a vast disconnect, watching them exist so effortlessly. I’ve spent so long ignoring these problems and feeling isolated that I feel like I need time to focus on fixing those things, more than a 9-5 job allows anyway. 

I’ve also wanted to focus on creating art for a long time now and felt dejected about being unable to do so. I’ve felt more and more disillusioned about the idea of ever being able to do art in the “industry”, or wanting to for that matter. The things most games are doing are just not something I really care that much about. And that’s if I could get stable, paying 2D art jobs. For a long time it felt like watching my dreams melt in my hands. I can’t wait any longer, I have to make a real attempt at this. I have to try making things I at least care about a little and see what happens. If I fail, at least I tried. I’m prepared to take that risk.

I’m scared. I know it’s risky, but I feel good about finally having the capability to actually attempt this. I look back 10 years or so to when I started learning to draw and I feel ok saying; I’ve worked hard to be in a spot where I can even consider doing this.

Anyway. Exciting things coming soon hopefully. Or maybe not, who knows. Maybe I’ll just spend the whole time being kidnapped and beaten up by other women, that’s fine too.

[wigglebox]

Obviously this place isn’t Instagram but I wanted to let y’all know I’m gonna delete my Instagram probably later today.

TLDR: Deleting Instagram, I’m on Bluesky, here and RedNote. Explore the internet more!

*~*

I don’t like META but I’m forced to have a personal account for my job. But I want to get rid of every Instagram I have.

Being an artist online is a daily struggle to share your work and be seen and feeling encouraged to create more. We want others to see our stuff. The art we make for ourselves we don’t always share.

This is a truth I’ve known for a while now but didn’t wholly process until Saturday that we need to explore more. We need to explore new methods and apps and websites and delivery systems.

When the TikTok blip happened for us Americans many of us were panicking because of the greater implication of our rights. But, in the lead up to said blip, I saw many people talking about how they were coding their own spaces and other apps. Bluesky is coming out with an Instagram rival and I’ve seen several alternatives to tiktok in development.

Every social media website and app, or really anything that encourages mass gatherings of people online, has a life cycle. Some end quick and some end over an extended period of time. People my age really understand this as we have been online since the Wild West of the internet age. I’ve seen every phase of Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. I’ve seen the rise and fall of spaces like Gaiaonline, Xanga and MySpace.

The issue with Facebook is what I call the “META Virus” and it acts like a vampiric parasite, sucking the life out of corners of the internet to keep its zombie self alive. Instagram was one of these places. Facebook should not have lasted more than 7-8 years as most. It was an early social media website and far superior ones sprung up behind it. But it’s a zombie now.

So, at the end of the day, I’m just going to delete my accounts there.

I think it’s very important we explore. Pretend these are little worlds or galaxies and explore. I know we want to keep fandoms alive and there’s no reason to suggest they won’t on other platforms. You just have to find your people.

You can find me currently on Tumblr, obviously, and BlueSky and RedNote (xiaohongshu).

I’ve deleted many of my tiktok videos to go back to 2023 mostly and don’t plan on posting there. I want to make art videos but I don’t want to post those videos where people aren’t interested.

I will be exploring pixelfed and other apps and I have followed the developers of even more apps and websites. I’ll post about any one I join to here and Bluesky but when in doubt, I’ll always be wigglebox or wiggleboxart!

I’m also exploring making a Neocities page as a sort of landing site for me and see if I can set up a newsletter or Patreon. If I set a Patreon up the tiers will be low. Probably just one for like, $2 or something. Mostly because for us Americans it’s going to be a penny pinching way going forward.

I’m not sure yet about Patreon yet I’m still brainstorming that.

Suffice it to say, after all this rambling, we need to be internet explorers (not THAT internet explorer) much like we were in the early 2000s if you remember that time.

Thank you for reading and understanding!

[shadamyheadcanons]

Hi there, hope you're doing ok! I was wonder what are your headcanons for future!Shadamy when they are together and growing old. What are their jobs? Shadow is still at G.U.N.?Where do they live? How do their dynamic evolve as Amy ages physically (and they both age mentally obviously)?

For jobs, they’ve got options. I’ve written Amy as a florist in headcanon 29, a baker in headcanons 15 and 176, and a kindergarten teacher in headcanon 254. Florist and baker both jive with canon. She’s been shown to like flowers, and it’s natural to put a Rose in a garden.

Top, wallpaper on Sonic Channel Bottom, Sonic Pict May 2021 on Sonic Channel

For baking, there’s official art of her making baked goods, and she says in a Sonic Station LIVE vtuber special that she’s apprenticing at a cake shop.

Sonic Pict February 2020 on Sonic Channel

[link]

The kindergarten teacher angle works for me because she works well with kids. She’s not a Mom Friend, but she has a strong nurturing side:

Whatever she does to pay the bills, I think it’s important that she has a way of giving back and helping others. I could see her actively doing volunteer work. Frontiers has a detail I really like where she apparently goes back to check on places that have been impacted by Eggman’s destruction:

“Yep, but...I’ve seen this kind of recovery in areas Dr. Eggman damaged. Something ruined this land, and it’s barely begun to recover.”

She was always a helper even when she needed help more than anyone. I don’t think she could feel completely happy if she didn’t have the chance to give back in some way. It’s not enough for her just to whack a villain with a hammer and leave.

Shadow and Amy have significant overlap in this regard and could very believably be coworkers. He likes flowers just like she does; there’s been a lot of buzz about this lately, but for those who haven’t seen, they have a very extensive line of matching cherry blossom memorabilia, just for the two of them. Calendars. Bags. Hats. Thermoses. Shirts. It lines up nicely with the idea of Shadow calling Amy “Rose” as a term of endearment, which I’ve always liked. His fondness for flowers is “canon,” and by “canon,” I mean it’s in Lego Dimensions. When it comes to outside canon, I pick and choose what to count for my headcanons based on how in-character the event feels, and Shadow feels very in-character in that game, funnily enough. Lego gets it right.

Regardless of whether it’s a job, I love the idea of Shadow gardening because he’s very much a “protector,” and I think looking after smaller things would do him a world of good. It’s tangible, manageable, and rewarding in a way that protecting the entire world usually isn’t. That’s why I had him adopt Rosie. In headcanon 134, I wrote Shadow volunteering at a Chao shelter and inviting Amy to join him, and he became a guidance counselor in that headcanon above about Amy being a kindergarten teacher.

Sega seems to want us to believe Shadow and G.U.N. are on good terms. I don’t buy it. The only way I can see him happily working with them is if someone like Rouge gets put in charge and does some serious work to turn them around, like in headcanon 280. Even then, I wouldn’t say it’s ideal; I don’t want Shadow to have to fight his whole life. I can’t see him giving up fighting entirely to become a pacifist, but there’s more than one way to help the people of Earth, and he deserves peace, preferably with his friends and a delightful pink hedgehog by his side. And speaking of Amy’s motherly tendencies and Shadow feeling fulfilled by looking after little ones, I want them to have a couple kids, too. She canonically wants kids...

[Weird scene from Sonic X. Can’t believe there’s an honest-to-goodness typo in this finished game]

...and once most of the fighting is over, I think Shadow would crave some sort of focus and center in his life. Fatherhood could do that for him.

Silver has to come from somewhere, after all.

I like to put them in a cottage by the edge of the woods—far enough to enjoy nature and have peace and quiet when necessary, but close enough to the city to visit their friends. Big probably lives nearby.

As for growth and aging, most of it makes me sad. One-sided immortality can do that, especially for someone who experiences emotions as strongly as Shadow does. Check out headcanons 255, 238, 101, and 83 if you want to feel sad. Headcanon 286 is bittersweet. Headcanon 273 is nice and cute, though.

I hope you like links. Thanks for the question!

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

Hi Eli

It’s not a success story but I just needed to to get this out of my system (and pls I’m not trauma dumping on you 🥲)

So I know bout the law and I do believe in it, I’ve manifested a lot of things actually from big to small but the problem comes when I want to manifest my dream life, the life I believe I was meant to live..

Every time I tried to brush it off and pretend like ooh it’s too unattainable and I can’t be there and stuff like that I always come back to somehow ,so that’s why I believe I was meant to live it.

I’m raised in a religious family (not too religious but kinda,not the crazy ones) Islamic teaching u know?. So every time I affirm I’m living my dream life,I’m limitless and I have everything I want because I say so,I feel good and stuff but… when I go on TikTok or any social media and then the teachings comes,I feel so guilty and like a sinner and all the giddiness ends and I feel so down.

Listen I love my religion,but it makes me sad when I think about what if I’m actually sinning and god is going to be mad at me,because we don’t have power of our own but god’s will.

I do really want to manifest my dream life,and when I think about it even more I say maybe god doesn’t want me have this life, many I’m meant for something else but I don’t see anything else,I just see that life(the life I’m talking about is high life,lights,cameras,paparazzi everywhere,yk!)

But then I think if I wasn’t meant for it why have I always had this feel ever since I was a kid? And why did I find about the law?

I’m really in dilemma, I don’t know what to do anymore I feel so guilty 😭

P.s I don’t even bit think that my dream life is unattainable,it’s just the guilty I feel every time I think about, gif is watching me and he’s judging me for this, maybe I should quit and quickly live my normal boring hella of peasant life “ I think”but I can’t, something inside me refuses to settle for this😭

I would kindly appreciate your advice cos ur the only Muslim loas blogger I know, love you

Hope it’s not too much🥹

Xoxo 💋

Hello cutie!

Well i'm here to tell you that i've been in the same situation as you, but i had a long thought about it.

Let's think for a second: do you think god let us discover this for a reason? And you only? If you're about to tell it to your siblings or your parents i know that they'll refuse or doesn't even believe you or go in a rampage of how it is sinning and you don't have to believe what the internet is saying.

Okay i'm about to tell you my story:

When the lockdown of COVID happened (i was 12 at that time), i came across a subliminal called "get green eyes in 10 minutes" so i was like "no freaking way! That total bs! They're just lying" so i went to watch other videos on YouTube and completely forgot about it, but for the next few days, the video kept popping up so what i did is check the comments and see if this video is telling the truth or not, so when i went to check the comments i found people be like "oh yeah my eyes got brighter after few days of listening" etc (you know the drill).

If you want to be so sure that what you're doing is right and not sinsful just pray and ask god to give you a sign that manifesting your dream life is good (halal) or bad.

And look even if it wasn't good why did god made us consciousness? To be able to induce our purest form and even shift to other realities? And even manifest the craziest things.

And there was this question in my head "why god didn't mention it in Quran?" But i made the theory that maybe he didn't want to because he knows that some people no, the majority of them would use it for bad, would like to dominate the World and even do harm than good or even don't believe in god anymore since they'll discover that they're powerful and can do incredible things.

You know? I Always had this feeling since i was kid that i was special, and i think that why god choose me to know it, to know this treasure that is hidden from anyone else, the ultimate cheat code to life.

So yeah don't feel alone, i understand how you feel, but like now, knowing the Law is like a bless from god, it's like a gift.

Many people would kill to know this information, to know the cheat code to life.

So my advice is to not give up or think it is a sinner to manifest your dream life.

God made you discover it for a reason, and he knows why.

So go crazy! Manifest any desires your heart want! Even the most unrealistic ones!

I Hope my response pleased you and motivated you!

Xoxo, Eli

[burquillos]

I genuinely forgot that tumblr is a place that is actually decent for posting text Anyways, 431 AU Hurt and Comfort drabble following Izuku's train of thought "I've always failed to protect Kacchan and now that I don't have the power to do it anymore, the best course of action is to give up on my dream, so he follows me out of danger"

"You don't get it Kacchan!! I can't protect you anymore, you could get hurt!!"

"You're already hurting me!"

Izuku shuts his mouth. How could he say anything to that? He knows what he's been doing to Kacchan. He isn’t inviting him to guest teach that often for no reason. He hoped he could show Kacchan there are other ways of being Hero, one where he wouldn’t need to put his life in danger. He has also been deliberate in keeping Kacchan at arm’s length, just far enough to look like Just Another Person in his life, he wouldn’t want any villains getting any bright ideas especially now that he’s powerless. He's not as stupid or oblivious as people think. It hurts to see Kacchan upset, but a miserable Kacchan is better than a dead one. It's selfish of him but he can't let him go. He can’t lose him again.

Katsuki takes a deep breath like he's gathering all weight he's been carrying and then letting it drop abruptly. "Look, Izuku. I've been there before... I know you're scared." Deku flinches at that. "That's why you keep pushing me away. I finally understand how frustrating it must have been for you to lend out your hand and get it slapped away every time. That's why I don't blame you. I had no idea how you did it back then, but I've tried to follow your example, to be as strong and persevering as you were, to never give up on people.” Katsuki pauses, thinking before he steels himself to say the words, “But at some point you have to let me move on from you, just like how you moved on from me."

His words sound defeated, like everything he just said is an undeniable, unchangeable truth, and maybe it is. But the end?

"Is that what you think? That I moved on from you?” their eyes finally meet. “Kacchan, I'm still fucking stuck in that coffin in the sky! YOU DIED!! Because I couldn't get there in time! Because I treated you like you were special! Because I... I loved you and everybody could see it.”

“I was so happy when I got closer to you back at UA. You were always so bright and I’ve always dreamed of standing there by your side instead of watching you from afar like I’ve always had but I got too careless. I wanted to stay there forever, I really did but everybody kept hurting Kacchan.”

“Even at our worst, everyone saw how hard I tried to chase after you. I hated myself for not being able to say so many things, for not being able to tell you 'You're more than just a Hero to me'. But in the end, it didn’t even matter because Everybody. Still. Fucking. Knows. Because I can't control myself. Because I always slip up. Because I always lose my shit when it comes to you!

How could I move on from you when I have to spend every day scared shitless that everyone would know how much I want you and take you away from me!?”

At this point, Izuku’s completely broken down and Katsuki lets him. It was a long time coming after all. He approaches Izuku to hold him, Izuku hold him back tightly like he never wants to let go. They stay like that for a few minutes, Kacchan softly petting his hair while he calms down. After a while, Kacchan speaks.

“You don’t have to worry about anyone taking me away from you, Izuku.”

He looks up from his place snuggled on Kacchan’s chest, “What?”

“Already yours, have been for a while. Ya just need to act like it.”

“I already told you why I can’t-“

“Then try harder. Make me undoubtedly yours. Show them what happens when they mess with something that you own.”

Izuku doesn’t know if Kacchan’s words is just there to hype him up or if he’s being entirely serious about it. Either way, it sends tingles up his spine and warmth to his cheeks. But that embarrassment quickly evolves to shame.

“What if I fail again... I couldn’t even protect you even when I had all the power in world.”

“I’m not asking for your protection Izuku, just like how you didn’t ask for mine when I ran after you and jumped in front of all of those spikes. Those were MY choices and all I ask of you is to run after me too, to choose me.”

Izuku looks at him stunned. His heart feels so full he feels like he’s about to burst again. He never imagined there would be a world where he would chase after Kacchan and Kacchan would be expecting him to catch up and run by his side instead of running away from him in fear. It was everything he ever wished for as a kid.

He still thinks he’s not strong enough, but he can be brave. The same quirkless kid who chased his dreams in spite of it all.

“Okay, Kacchan.”

He musters up all his strength to smile at Katsuki and to his surprise and delight he smiles right back.

“I won’t be far behind!”

[adhdandcomics]

perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:

does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies

[dykedvonte]

Mini rant below and in the tags, the only time I’ll talk about this and my personal take on it.

The way people talk about hypothetical male Anya on Twitter and the idea of how Mouthwashing would play out if the genders were swapped makes me remember how people still don’t take sexual assault and rape with male victims with the same gravity, especially when the perpetrator is female.

[leonardalphachurch]

you know what. i say that all chucker is actually chuckboose in disguise but you know what the same is true for tuckington. caboose is there. he needs to be there. why are you writing tucker and wash together without their third. where is he.

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

The Sword of Kaigen

standalone fantasy set in a rural mountain village at the edge of an empire that still holds traditional values, with families of powerful water/ice magic warriors

follows a powerful young heir who begins to question his beliefs about the empire when a new boy comes to his village from the city

and his mother, a housewife who has tried to forget her youth as a warrior and vigilante in the city since she moved back home to a loveless marriage

when there’s a violent attack on their village that they’re unprepared for, everything changes, and she has to embrace her old skills to protect her family and people

[lucky-clover-gazette]

vent

did not expect kissing and realizing i’m lowkey dating a guy to send me down an existential spiral of reminding me that i have only one life to live and then i am going to die without living any other different lives

[james-spooky]

this is a test