#but i’m trying to set myself time limits with these (cause the whole point is to get over my writer’s block!) so! here it is!

[kinnbig]

50 for KinnBig

50 - a goodbye kiss that says ''I don't love you the way you love me, and I'm setting you free''

When Porsche’s voice travels in from the hallway outside, Big pretends to be asleep.

His door crashes open a moment later, and then two sets of footsteps are approaching his bed. One set is slightly hesitant, awkward; belonging, Big assumes, to Porsche.

The other footsteps, Big would know anywhere.

“Oh,” Porsche is saying, ���the nurse outside said he’d been awake today.”

“He’s just had major surgery,” Kinn says gently, “he’s going to need a lot of rest.”

His voice is low and contemplative, almost soft, and Big has to fight to keep his face still, force himself not to throw open his eyes and look, not to drink in every expression that crosses Kinn’s face, not to gasp his presence into his lungs like a man drowning.

It’s embarrassment that keeps his eyes firmly shut.

He doesn’t think he could look Porsche in the eye, look Kinn in the eye. Not now, not after what he said. After what he did.

It’s quiet for so long that Big wonders if he didn’t actually fall asleep and miss them both leaving.

Porsche breaks the silence with uncharacteristic uncertainty. “Why do you think he did it?”

Big suppresses a flinch.

Khun Kinn loves you so much.

Kinn sighs. “He’s an excellent bodyguard.”

Usually Big would be delighted with the praise. Today it sinks into his stomach, aching with something akin to grief.

Porsche doesn’t say anything to that. Big hears him scuffing his foot against the ground.

“Maybe we should come back later,” he says eventually, “when he’s awake.”

“Of course,” Kinn says, “you go ahead. I need to double check with the nurses about security.”

Big hears Porsche hum his agreement and shuffle to his feet, and then the door is swinging shut behind him and Big is alone in the room with Kinn.

The air feels thick with it; with Kinn; settling heavy on Big’s rib cage and making it hard to breathe.

Kinn’s hand settles on his shoulder. It burns like a brand.

“I wanted to say thank you,” Kinn says softly, “for what you did for Porsche.”

Big’s chest aches.

He doesn’t open his eyes.

It wasn’t for Porsche, he wants to shout, you know it wasn’t for Porsche.

Kinn squeezes his shoulder.

“You were right - I love him. I love him more than is sensible, and I - thank you.”

Kinn moves closer, and Big senses what’s about to happen milliseconds before it does. Kinn’s lips brush his cheek; light, chaste, gentle; and Big’s eyes flutter open involuntarily as Kinn pulls away.

He doesn’t look surprised to meet Big’s clearly conscious gaze. He just nods, formal and final, and collects his jacket from the arm of his chair.

“Take care of yourself, Big.”

He doesn’t say goodbye.

He doesn’t need to.

It was for you, Big lets himself admit into the emptiness he leaves behind, it’s always been for you.

kiss prompt ficlets 💖

[jebewonmorelike]

Pay You Back

wc: 1.3k (failed my own 1.1k challenge but close enough) pronouns: none used; n/a warnings: fluff, some themes of social anxiety/embarrassment in public but nothing descriptive, asking about financial troubles, hao being both your mom and boyfriend, he's in zb1 in this summary: idolboyfriend!hao has to come rescue reader when their card declines at the grocery store and he is not prepared to find out the reason it's maxed out. ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ so i wrote this to see if i could force myself to limit to under 1.1k words... i have a tendency to get carried away and not as many people like longer fics so. i failed bc i went 200 words over but it was a pretty close. anyway if i write shorter works, i can write more so i want to get back in the habit of it. better for my stress levels too lmao. just finished my second "semester" back at school i'm so happy!! third semester stars 7/3 tho so that's annoying but. i have one whole week to do nothing (except work but). ANYWAY hope you enjoy :)

“(Y/N)?” You hear your boyfriend’s voice as he enters the grocery shop. Even though Zhang Hao is quite reserved, he’s more than willing to make a small scene if you’re in trouble. “(Y/N)!?”

The store owner, who is also manning the checkout counter, lifts his arm high enough for Hao to see it over the aisles, pointing at you exaggeratedly— more than unamused.

Hao rushes over to where you stand in the checkout lane; your groceries half-bagged, half sitting askew on the conveyor belt. A couple people are beginning to line up behind you. He frowns, trying to decipher what about this scene could’ve possibly made you text him: 

🚨 EMERGENCY AT MARKET!! PLEASE COME HELP!! 🚨

“Honey, what’s wrong?” He asks, brows furrowed in confusion. “You said there was an emergency!”

“Is not being able to pay for your large grocery order after someone has already gone through the trouble to scan and bag most of it an emergency?” The owner asks, resentful eyes still locked on your embarrassed ones. 

Hao starts to open his mouth to respond, but the owner cuts him off. “I’ll answer for you. It is an emergency... if the owner forgot to pay his utilities bill and the electricity went out while his wife was curling her hair for work this morning.”

Your boyfriend glances at you then back at the store owner. “Right…”

“I tried to just leave, but he kept this exact same rant going for ten minutes,” you whisper to him as the owner continues to moan and groan about how his wife chased him around the house with a slipper. “I’m really sorry to bother you. I know how busy you are.”

Hao shakes his head definitively. “It doesn’t matter how busy I am— I’ll always have time to help you out,” he says with an affectionate smile, raising his hand to squeeze your right shoulder comfortingly. “As long as you continue to conveniently call when I’m already on lunch break.”

You sigh, looking back down at your shoes in embarrassment.

“Did you forget your credit card? Is that the issue?” Hao asks, taking his wallet out of his back pocket before you even answer.

The store owner laughs. “Worse. It declined.”

Hao looks at you concernedly. Maxing out your credit card was not like you at all. Despite the occasional shopping splurge, you were usually quite practical with money. The look of worry on Hao’s face is valid. 

Still, he hands his own credit card to the store owner and begins throwing some of your grocery items into bags himself. As the owner hands Hao his receipt and credit card back, you pick up a few of the bags and head toward the sliding doors. Hao grabs the last bag and follows quickly behind you.

When you’re outside, you breathe a deep sigh of relief; even a couple of people’s annoyed stares had caused your heart to speed up and your body temperature to rise. Hao falls into step beside you, but it takes you a few moments to relax enough to remember he’s there.

When you finally look over at him, he smiles reassuringly. The token introvert had set aside his nature (and sacrificed his coveted lunch break) to rescue you. And he’d also paid for your groceries.

“I’ll pay you back,” you promise softly, cheeks turning rosy once more.

Hao purposely bumps into your side as you walk, trying to get you to smile and break your tension. It works. You scrunch your nose up at him in a smile and he glues himself to your side, hooking a finger in your back pocket to keep you as close as possible as you make your way down the quiet street.

After another few moments of comfortable silence, Hao clears his throat. “So,” he starts, trying his best to sound nonchalant. “Are you behind on credit card payments? There’s no shame in it; it happens.”

“No,” you answer simply, shaking your head as you steal a glance at your boyfriend. You watch as his brow furrows in confusion.

“Oh,” he replies, lips forming a small pout. “Well, you know you could tell me if you were, right? I'd do my best to help you if that’s what you needed.”

“I know,” you say with a smile, watching again as he blinks curiously-- trying to figure out what the problem could be. “I’d tell you if I was having financial problems. I'd refuse your help, but I would tell you.”

“Right,” he affirms, nodding as if to convince himself that he could end his interrogation there. He fails, of course, and an unstoppable flurry of questions begins to fall from his lips. “So... So what happened? Did the card expire or something? Why didn’t you use your debit card? There’s money on your debit card, right? And I know you despise cash, but--.”

You stop walking and Hao’s finger still hooked in the pocket of your jeans pulls him back to face you. “There is an incredibly simple explanation for this,” you explain, placing your grocery bags on the ground for a moment as you pull your credit card out of your phone case. “This card isn’t my usual credit card. It’s a very limited credit account that I opened for a specific purchase. It looks almost identical to my actual credit card I use on a normal basis so I grabbed this one by accident before I left this afternoon. I was in a rush and couldn’t find my debit card, so I took what I thought was my credit card thinking I’d be fine, but... I was obviously not fine.”

“Ohhh,” Hao sighs, nodding in both comprehension and relief. “Well that makes a lot more sense. I was worried about you! I didn’t think you’d suddenly developed some sort of debilitating shopping addiction, but...”

“Rest assured,” you soothe, picking your bags back up and continuing with your boyfriend down the street to the bus stop. “I have plenty of money. I wish I had more, of course. But it’s enough to survive for now.”

“Are you sure you want to take the bus?” Hao asks, running his hand down your back comfortingly. “I can drive you.”

“No, you can’t,” you reply, taking the last grocery bag from his hands and draping it on your arm. You rummage through it for a moment before pulling out a fresh deli sandwich. “Your lunch break is almost over and I've used up all of it already. So, eat this on the way back to Wakeone or I will find you and I will shove it down your throat myself.”

“I can see you’re back to normal,” Hao says with a grin, taking the boxed sandwich in his hand as you reach the bus stop. “I love you.”

“Love you more,” you say, checking to make sure no one is around before kissing his cheek. His eyes closed, he sighs blissfully.

Your bus makes its way around the corner, pulling to a stop in front of you. 

“Oh, I forgot to ask,” Hao says quickly as you walk up the steps. “What was the purchase that you opened that new credit card for?”

You turn around, biting your lip in a smile. “I bought 40 copies of your debut album!”

“YOU DID WHAT!?”

You’re not sure if you’ve ever seen Zhang Hao more shocked than he is right now. You’re lucky the sandwich box didn’t fly out of his hand and onto the sidewalk. 

“It’s okay: I’m pretty sure I made a good investment!” You call back with a wink to your boyfriend, whose jaw is still dropped as the bus door begins to close. “Didn’t I?”

All Hao can do is nod-- a slow, exaggerated nod as he processes what you’ve said.

You wave at him, grinning-- any embarrassment you had felt ten minutes ago entirely washed away. Zhang Hao may have had to buy your groceries for you, but you think you might’ve already paid him back.

As the doors close, you call to a now smiling but awestruck Hao:

“You’re welcome!”

[mars-wuz-herez]

Sonic Prime AU

What if Sonic died?

Part one 

Eggman's point of view 

I'm in my office but I can't seem to focus on working on my badniks. For the first time ever doing this seems….like a waste. Wow. Thinking about that is weird. I gaze down at the badnik I'm working on. I know what I have to do to finish it but my hands lack the movement to do it. Why?

I get up from my desk and take a walk around my base. I stop at a window. The sun is setting. From this view I see the mountain where I was earlier today. Then the whole thing replays in my head. I was so close to pulling out the Prism but that weird feeling came. The feeling of weakness and weird flashes that played in my head. Like memories that weren't mine. These flashes had 5 versions of me, doing evil things and well looking young and handsome. Heh. It was almost like looking in the mirror-

Cubot: “Sir? Are you okay?” 

I look down and see Cubot looking at me. 

Eggman: “What? Of course I’m ok! Now go make me something to eat.”

Cubot: “Yup right away”

I look back out the window and back at the mountain hands behind my back. The mountain. Where all my plans were ruined by that blue idiot. Wait, not him. Shadow. It was really weird seeing him there. I never thought he was the one to play hero. However the weirder thing was seeing the blue rat vanish into thin air. Did he run fast enough that his speed finally reached its limit? I told that blue rodent that one day his speed would get him killed-

Cubot: “Um sir?”

Eggman: “What?”

Cubot: “We are out of food”

Eggman: “Yeah?”

Cubot: “Well we don't have any food so I can't make you-”

Eggman: “Do you want to know the reason you came into existence?”

Cubot: “Yeah I've always wondered!”

Eggman: “So I don't have to go out and get the groceries myself! Now go do what you were made for before you are nothing but spare parts to me!”

Cubot looks down in sadness as he goes towards the door. Serves him right. I stare out the window again. Weird, I swear there were 5 badniks outside 5 minutes ago. Whatever. I look back at the mountain playing out the scene in my head again. The blue moron, my arch nemesis, just vanishes. For as long as I've been in Green Hill I have been trying to get rid of that pest. Now that he may finally be gone I don't exactly know how to feel about that. Is it really over? Is this decade of a long rivalry gone just like that?

Cubot: “Sir-”

Eggman: “I swear- WHAT IS IT NOW?”

Cubot: ”Are you… crying?”

Eggman: “Of course not you idiotic robot! What in the world would make you ask that?”

Cubot: “Well…”

Cubot points to his face. I turn and look at my reflection from the window. I spot a single tear rolling down my cheek. Is that really…. no. I wipe it away immediately and turn to Cubot. 

Eggman: “Is there a reason you aren't at the grocery store right now you know, GETTING MY FOOD?”

Cubot: “Yes actually. Um you have visitors”

Eggman: “Visitors? Who?”

Cubot: “Uhh…” *clears throat* (in a low voice) “Knuckles and Amy”

Eggman: “Aaaaaargh! CAN YOU SPEAK ANY LOWER?!?!”

Cubot: “Knuckles and Amy”

Eggman: “WHAT?!?!”

I head towards the front door and hide behind the wall. I peek over and see the red thing and pink pest. How did they get past my security? What the heck were they doing here? How did they know where I live?

Eggman (half whispering): “Why would you let them in? Don't you know I have a policy about letting friends of my arch nemesis into my home?”

Amy: “We can hear you! You're not very quiet”

I grumble. I straighten my shirt and walk towards them. 

Eggman: “To what do I owe this…displeasure?”

Amy: “Nice to see you too. Listen, we aren't here to fight or cause trouble okay? All we have are questions that we think you may have-”

Eggman: “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DOOR?!?!”

Behind them lies a broken door. MY DOOR.

Amy: “You didn't answer the door the first 5 times we knocked so my friend here smashed it open”

I glance at Knuckles. He's adjusting his gloves but seems….nervous? 

Eggman: “I expect a payment for that”

Amy: “Well you're not getting one”

Eggman: “How am I supposed to replace it then?”

Amy: “I don't know, figure it out. Anyways-”

Eggman: “If i'm not going to receive a payment then get me a new door”

Amy: “You're not getting anything”

Knuckles: “Can we focus on the reason we are here?”

Eggman: “Yeah why are you here? Last time I checked the blue pain in my butt vanished. Aren't you two supposed to be…I don't know…finding a way to bring him back?”

I don't know why I asked that. It's not like I care for the moron. I'm just… curious to see if they had a solution to bring him back…so my future plans aren't foiled. Yeah that's it. 

Amy: “We’re trying. We have a plan but in order to complete it we need, unfortunately, you. We need some information about the Paradox Prism. We think the Prism may have a part in the reason Sonic vanished”

Eggman: “It would make sense. When he started to vanish I noticed that the tips of the shards were a little burnt. Also the weird visions that I had witch included Sonic in them was really weird-”

I stop talking when I see Amy looking at me confused and half surprised. Personally I'm surprised by my actions as well. What the heck has gotten into me? 

Eggman: “And what makes you think I would just give you the information huh? In case you’ve been living under a rock all these years, I have done nothing but to try and get rid of this rodent and now that he is gone-”

Amy: “You can't help but feel sad that after a decade of rivalry with Sonic it's finally over?”

Eggman: “What? Absolutely not! How dare you even- you know what? Get out of my house”

Amy and Knuckles: “What?”

Eggman: “Get out of my house! I don't want to see your stupid faces here and I certainly don't want to hear you saying how much I care about his blue rodent when I don't! Get out of my house now! Also don't forget to send me money for the new door”

I’m pushing them out when Amy shouts 

Amy: “no”

Eggman: “Excuse me?”

Amy: “I said NO”

Then out of nowhere she slams her hammer into my foot.

Eggman: “OUCH!!! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU-”

Amy: “FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE YOU’RE GOING TO LISTEN TO ME! As much as you won't admit it, you still care about him! You care about him so much you didn't even think to invade the villages today while we were distracted huh? This rivalry has kept you going for so long that now, with him gone, it all feels like a waste right?”

I open my mouth but no words come out. Could she be right? I haven’t even thought of invading the villages. Heck I haven't even finished building my robots. Maybe this pink pain is onto something. 

Amy: “I know you won't admit it out loud but I can see it written all over your face that you do care about him.”

She is falls silent for a minute then speaks again.

Amy: “Will you help us?”

I think about her question. This time though I have an answer.

Eggman: “Follow me”

END OF PART ONE 

To be continued…

Mentions

@mrfrobbert @hawk-has-alot-of-gay-ships @callme-aprilroseisha04 @rainestorm05 @upodubo-reblog @seaslugdisco @bun-bie @annoyingcat413 @bee-birb @idiotayo @theavo-guac

Sorry for the long wait. Ready for Part two?

(Sorry if this feels rushed)

[laurarolla]

All That Matters: some thoughts on Destiny 2, player narrative agency, and what should happen next.

Spoilers under the break for Season of Defiance’s Mission:Jailbreak and thoughts on what I feel should happen next.

So, back at the launch of Lightfall, Amanda Holliday’s aircraft was shot down attempting to stop the Witness from meeting the Traveler.  After we rescue her from the Shadow Legion, she decides to remain on the front lines with Devrim, Crow, and Misraaks, working as one of the newly knighted Queensguard.  With her previous vendor duties inherited by Rahool, a lore book and cutscene dedicated to her past and her motives, and a trailer that practically screamed “this season, someone dies,”  the writing was definitely on the wall for Amanda to die this season.  Today, upon hearing her mention Cayde in the initial story briefing, I knew her time was up.  Filled with dread at what I knew was coming, I started the Mission: Jailbreak and hoped against everything that there would be a surprise at the end.  There wasn’t much of one, excluding yet more proof that Eramis isn’t irredeemable, but also setting up the dominos for her to possibly face the business end of Crow’s Golden Gun before the next season is up. First of all, damn Bungie could not have been unluckier with this timing.  The scene of Zavala grieving over a covered body literally 3 days after the passing of Lance Reddick has been unavoidably bound to that real world loss, and caused both a pain many players weren’t expecting to feel today, and cutting off the players from the emotional weight that the sequence was supposed to carry.  I do not envy Bungie’s writing team, and I have to assume they are feeling really rough right now themselves, so I certainly hope this doesn’t turn into a whole thing with the worst impulses of the community right now. Second, the funeral scene is really heavily reflecting the same scene regarding the death of Cayde-6, with Crow taking on Ikora’s role, and Mara echoing Zavala’s grieving voice of reason.  Crow calling on us to take vengeance with him, knowing what we did to Uldren, hits hard, and Mara’s grief afterwards hits harder.  Thing is... I don’t want revenge.  I’ve grown tired of vengeance.  I wanted to be able to stop it from happening in the first place.  I knew it was coming, and I knew I was powerless to prevent it.  

We are actors in the world of Destiny, and no matter how loose our script, we cannot change the path of the scene.  We can do little but point and shoot, with the world changing around us more than us changing the world.  This is a basic reality of video game narratives and also our own lives, as our agency is always limited by some outside factor, but I’ve found myself thinking again and again about how the Young Wolf can do so little to truly change the path that the story will follow.

Now, as for Amanda, should she return as a lightbearer?  I’m very much on the side of “NO” in this case.  I feel her story would be undercut by bringing her back.  However, I have an idea for how to use the concept to tell another story about letting go.  The original Chaperone is buried somewhere along the road to the Last City, as we learn from the lore books this season.  Crow, unsatisfied by vengeance and wishing to use the power of Deepsight to restore the newly raised Amanda, works with us to find the original, and offers to use the artifact on Mars to try and restore Amanda’s memory.  However, Amanda, risen as a Titan (I won’t explain why a Titan but it does make the most sense), rejects the idea of having her memories restored, believing it’s important to let the Amanda she once was rest, a metaphorical reunion with her beloved parents and her dear friend Cayde.  And thus, the original Chaperone, along with her own personal one, recovered and repaired, are placed in the tower as a monument for those who have given everything for the sake of others, a monument to Legends without the Light.

[hees-mine]

People asked for more from you because your works were that good. It gave them that satisfaction they craved. But you deciding to leave suddenly might not even teach them a lesson, maybe they might not see that you're leaving right now, maybe they might not care if you leave and maybe they might continue to do what they did to you to other writers. Yes deactivating might make them regret but what about the people that loves and appreciates what you do? are you just gonna leave us be? Don't you want to write for you? because you enjoy it? Let them keep asking for whatever, you could've set a limit to your works and make it known that you'll not continue a work due to your personal reasons. Are you really going to let these people choose what you do? Are you really going to let the works in your drafts that you spent your precious time and hardwork on to go to waste just because people couldn't get enough of your work?? please don't leave like this, I'll literally be heartbroken if you do. Why don't you stay for the people who care, do you really want to delete all these memories and time you spent on tumblr? I'm not trying to stop or persuade you, you do what you feel like but just take a moment to think about it, please?

No hate was intended at all. How bout you give the people who were unappreciative a sloid serious warning or heads up before you actually take this huge step of completely letting your whole blog go into vain solely because of their inconsideration and rudeness? I just am really really fond of your work and I can't let you go just yet 😞 sorry.

See the thing is there’s no way to block them all and I’m at my tipping point to where even if I see one person asking for a part two it’s gonna set me off

I know there’s people who care I really do and I don’t want to leave you guys hanging but atp I think it’s a bit too late and maybe that’s my fault for not stating my opinion on this sooner (I have mentioned it in the past just not as seriously as I’m doing now)

But now everything just feels a little infuriating

As mean and bad as this is going to sound all the people asking me not to go and telling me it’s my choice in the end and all the encouragement where were you guys when I was posting consistently? I haven’t received this many asks in months

If I had this support then maybe the people asking for part twos would have been drown out by all this immense support I’m getting now

But it seemed nearly everyone was silent except the people I wished were silent

It feels like the only reason why it’s being brought up now is because I’m leaving and ultimately taking something away from everyone (it feels that way not saying it’s the case)

Again I don’t want to sound ungrateful for you all cause I really am and if not for you I wouldn’t have even made it this far but we have to collectively start learning to appreciate people and things before they’re gone

Just look out of all these people I heard from two (I know you guys are busy as well so I won’t judge harshly it’s just something I had noticed)

It’s just like I don’t understand it if you like something just let it be known is It that hard?

I did post heads-up and I gave people warning enough I made it public how I felt about this situation and it still didn’t stop

I appreciate you and I see exactly where you’re coming from if this had of happened maybe a month ago I would be thinking differently but now I think I made my mind up and I think it’s too late

As I told someone previously I know it’s my blog and it’s my choice to decide to post and continue writing but I never wrote cause I was writing for myself I did it all for you guys and that’s why it sucks so much to leave like this and if you’re wondering what I got out of writing it was just because the feedback and praise sure posting is fun but like I said what really does it for me is getting others feedback there’s something about a notification of someone telling me how much they enjoyed a story that just really makes me happy I’m simply here for your entertainment that’s it the only thing I require is the care I put into writing is for you all to put that same care back into me so we can feed off each other but from what everyone can see that didn’t happen

So now here we are

All of us are losing

People who ask for a part two are losing

People who actually support me are losing

And I myself am losing

If this sound rude I’m sorry but this is how I feel I just want to let everything out so it doesn’t just seem like I’m giving up and leaving for no reason

To my active supporters I love you all 🩵 and to the person who left me this ask please don’t take this the wrong way I care I really do and I know it seems selfish of me to walk away but if I’m not happy I don’t know how I’ll be able to put my best foot forward to deliver great stories to you all

I know it sounds selfish for me to say “since I’m not getting my praise I’m done😡” but I can’t help what I feel and what I feel is best for me is to go

So thank yall that stuck around with me and my stupid little stories for this long i appreciate you more than you know i love you all🩵

Btw I won’t be posting a goodbye letter or anything I’ll just say bye to everyone who reaches out and then that’ll be the last you all hear or read from me 🩵

Again I love you all thank you for giving me a few laughs and a good time🩵

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

The Snake Who Lived and The Goblet of Fire

What if Harry was Sorted into Slytherin?

Year 1

Year 2

Year 3

With Sirius a free man, we'll see if things don't change a little more. Will Harry still enter the Triwizard Tournament? Will Voldemort still returns. Let's find out!

Book 4 does not open with the Riddle House dream, and it doesn’t even happen. At least not yet. Think about it, Wormtail has been taken to Azkaban. So he won’t even be finding Voldemort, who never meets Bertha Jorkins either. Not only that, but there’s no Frank Bryce. No Nagini. And definitely no Riddle House, because Voldemort isn’t even there. He’s been skulking about The Forbidden Forest since Quirrell’s death. Flitting from one body to the next, usually snakes, occasionally chancing a Centaur for some period of time to gain intel, but the Centaurs would be able to sense by now that there is something wrong, that something evil is lurking behind the shadows within The Forest. If we want to give Voldemort a semi-permanent host he’s been using, perhaps Bane? Dumbledore absolutely knows Voldemort is hiding in the Forest, but he doesn’t confront him. No point, really, with the Horcruxes still out there, and Dumbledore’s more recent fear that Harry may even be one of them. Best not poke the bear so long as it’s still drowsy.  

So what is first up on Harry’s bucket list for his fourth adventure? Well, I can think of two things. One, now able to spend extended amounts of time with The Marauders where they don’t have to carefully spend that time talking about plot, I see them bonding a fair bit. Harry has previously been eager to be more like his parents, as being Sorted into Slytherin kind of sets them apart from him. To that end, I think Sirius offers to train Harry in the art of Animagery. So that will be fun. Whether or not Harry takes to it is a different question, we’ll have to see. But Harry’s also still wracked with guilt over the whole Cruciatus Curse incident. Before anything else, though, I think Sirius and Remus finally take Harry on that trip to Godric’s Hollow. It’s wholesome and happy and they visit the Potters’ graves, as well as the wreckage of the house. 

There’s always the possibility that they would run into Snape, who may have come to visit Lily’s grave himself. But that would change a hell of a lot, as it would lead into a huge argument between all parties, ruining the memory for Harry and potentially leading Sirius and Remus to tell him about Snape’s friendship with Lily. If he finds out about that any sooner than he’s meant to…god, think of what could change just from that? I’m trying to limit myself to exploring the butterfly effect of what would happen if Harry had been Sorted differently, and I’d like to avoid too many other “What Ifs” which is why I’m hesitant to over utilize characters like Theodore, Tracey, and Daphne. On the other hand, these characters are present, these events could happen, and the ramifications of things like Hermione’s death for instance, cannot be ignored. It stands to reason that they would cause greater and greater chain reactions. For the time being, I’ll say that they don’t encounter Snape, but then again, it’s not like this is the only time Harry can visit. 

So what’s next? Ah, The World Cup! And we’re gonna talk about it. We’re not just gonna skip over it like a certain movie…actually we pretty much are, because not a lot happens. Arthur would still procure the tickets, and at this point, I think Ron…might still invite Harry. The Crucio Incident is weighing heavily on his mind, but Harry is basically his best mate. This could be an unspoken olive branch. Sirius and Remus would stay behind - Sirius may have had his name cleared but I doubt he wants to make public appearances just yet. Although he could come along as Padfoot, actually…yeah, that works, let’s go with that. So Harry and Padfoot meet up with The Weasleys and though the big dog takes a bit of explaining, Padfoot is totally docile and I doubt anyone has a problem with him. 

Harry likely runs into some of his Slytherin friends here, and he comes across Draco. He hangs out with Ron and Ginny, and sees the match. It plays out the same way, and Fred and George still make the bet with Bagman, so he’s still going to bet on Harry, I don’t see why any of that would change. Harry meets Winkie, but she doesn’t mention Dobby as she doesn’t know him, and Harry doesn’t really take notice of her. Crouch Jr steals his wand, and the night plays out basically the same way. Hate crime, check. Dark Mark, check. Harry and the Weasley kids would likely run into some of Harry’s Slytherin friends and it would be ambiguous just how many of them have parents who are participating in the night’s events.

The scene with Crouch Sr finding Winkie and sacking her plays out the same way…almost. Harry is in a LOT of trouble. The Ministry hasn’t forgotten The Crucio Incident either. I’d say Arthur has to talk Crouch Sr. out of arresting him on the spot. Of course, Crouch knows Harry is innocent, but he also needs a fall guy. In the end, he still decides that Winkie will suffice. I’d also have to say that Arthur probably didn’t know about The Crucio Incident until now, and unfortunately it might affect how The Weasleys see him. 

What may not immediately happen is Voldemort going to find Crouch Jr. He doesn’t know he’s alive, at this rate he may not even know about The Triwizard Tournament. But that’s not to say he hasn’t been busy. By now, he will have learned about the destruction of the diary and the capture of Peter Pettigrew. Voldemort is trying to gain all of the intel he can, but his plan won’t proceed until a ways into the school year. Whether or not Crouch Jr escapes at some point this year is a tricky What-If, because we know he was getting better at fighting the Imperius Curse, and now Winkie is gone…I’ll come back to this.



Everything plays out mostly the same way up till Hogwarts. Moody is the D.A.D.A. teacher but, here’s a twist, it’s actually him this time and not an impostor. Harry learns about the Triwizard Tournament and Draco announces his intention to enter, daring Harry to do the same. I could see this leading into a Fred and George like situation where Draco puts his name in, and Harry is about to, but he hesitates - and then the Goblet retaliates against Draco with the old man beard. Draco is totally humiliated, and it’s only going to get worse for him when Moody turns him into a ferret…if, and only if, we assume that still happens. Would the real Moody have done this? I’m not sure. Part of me thinks that was just Crouch Jr. venting his anger at Lucius for abandoning Voldemort. But Draco’s got to be humiliated somehow, right? This will do. 

Harry and Draco are also fighting about Hagrid. Because this was the Year of The Blast-Ended-Skrewts, after all. I can see Harry admitting to Theodore in confidence that of course the Skrewts are terrible and what the hell was Hagrid thinking? But he’ll never say that to Draco. He’ll continue to back Hagrid in public no matter what. It’s all fun and games until they take class with Moody, but, again…would the real Moody have gone as hardcore as Crouch Jr? I keep wanting to say no, but then again, his impersonation was so good that he fooled everyone, including Dumbledore. If he does demonstrate the Curses, then rather like Hermione, Harry would take a stand against it, which everyone including Ron would notice. If nothing else, I can see Moody practicing the Imperius Curse on his students to train them in resisting it, and Harry is by far the most talented at this. This also may come back later. 

The two other schools arrive and - here’s an interesting change. Viktor Krum is sitting at the same table as Harry. Because the Durmstrang students sat at the Slytherin table in the original book. So Harry and Viktor might have an earlier chance to bond, or at least get to know each other, especially if Theodore loudly mentions that Harry is a Seeker with a Firebolt as well. Anything to ruin Draco’s attempts to cozy up to him. Again, a lot of the Slytherins are starting to realize that Harry is a better horse to bet on than Draco. Hey look, Ron still gets to be jealous of Harry! But overall that dynamic is quite different in this alternate timeline and it’s unlikely that the feud from the original book is going to happen for a variety of reasons. 

Voldemort isn’t entirely out of luck. A former servant arrived at the school a short while ago, a spineless coward who would do anything to save himself from the vengeance of The Dark Lord. Yep, in this timeline, “Bane” is going to corner Karkaroff, but he’ll need to wait for a good opportunity. Some kind of situation where Karkaroff winds up in the Forbidden Forest. Like, when he’s spying on Hagrid showing Madam Maxime the Dragons. Oh yeah, we’re skipping way ahead. You know what that means, right? Harry isn’t a Champion. Well holy hopscotch Batman, we’re in real AU territory now. 

So there are only three Champions, which means Harry has no extended interaction with Rita Skeeter. He isn’t present at the Weighing of The Wands, and for the first chunk of the Tournament, there’s no big plan or conspiracy. Oh, and there are only three dragons. It’s a blink and you’ll miss it line in “The Other Minister” (a chapter from HBP that nobody ever remembers) but The Horntail was the dragon brought over later to accommodate for the fourth Champion that no one was expecting. But that’s not the case this time.

Either way, I think Harry might still be present in the Forest when this happens, along with Ron and Ginny. Hagrid has no game and no concept of how to date, so he would probably think it was just fine to invite his friends to see the Dragons while he’s also on a date. So long as they’re hidden under The Cloak, which Harry totally isn’t using irresponsibly. But that’s not what’s important. What’s important is that Volde-bane corners Karkaroff as he’s trying to eavesdrop. There’s always the possibility that Harry crosses paths with them but he only came across Karkaroff in the original timeline, and he was under the Cloak then as well, so he likely has no idea what’s just happened. 

I’m in two minds. Part of me feels like Voldemort would take no chances. To ensure Karkaroff doesn’t get cold feet and run for it, he could possess him. On the other hand, that didn’t really work out too well for him the last time. So maybe he won’t make that mistake again. Problem is, I need to decide, as it affects a great deal going forward. What is Voldemort most likely to do? He likes control, but he’s afraid of Dumbledore, we all know he is. Ultimately, I think he’d actually fear Karkaroff’s ineptitude and cowardice more. The last thing he wants is for someone else to screw this up for him - it could be his last chance, after all. So yes, I’m gonna definitively state that he possesses Karkaroff. 

Just one problem. Karkaroff is in no position to get close to Harry or catch him alone. But that's okay. At this point, Voldemort has no inklings of the plan that was concocted in the original GOF. At this point, his priority is getting restored to a body, but I think his plan would still center around stealing the Philosopher’s Stone. Keep in mind, it was never destroyed and would still be hidden in the Castle, presumably under the Trapdoor, guarded by Fluffy. Harry never learned about any of that back in Year One, but something tells me he will now. 



The First Task. One question to think about is whether or not Harry still warns Cedric. I believe he would. So Harry and Cedric have a bond now, of a sort, but Harry is still likely rooting for Krum alongside Ron. Come to think of it, I could see this being the moment Ron and Theodore are introduced as they both try to sit with Harry,  and it. Is. Frosty. Ron may make an exception for Harry but by and large, he does not trust Slytherins. The task plays out basically the same. Although, I previously said that Bagman would bet on Harry. He can’t do that anymore, so Cedric would be his next best choice. I could see a small conspiracy forming between Amos, Bagman, and Rita, as a kind of subplot: where they try to rig the tournament so Cedric can win, all with their own personal agendas. Though Rita would probably use this as blackmail, eventually. With no Hermione to discover her secret, she may become a much bigger player in the events to come, we’ll have to see.

No S.P.E.W., and Harry’s not about to learn that Winkie is in the Kitchens, but Dobby still serves the Malfoys and upon being reminded of The Clothing Rule, Harry may be inspired to try and free him. As Voldemort/Karkaroff investigates the Third Floor Corridor, using the Triwizard Tournament as a distraction, Harry plots to trick Draco, but Ron is the one who explains that only an Elf’s master can free them and technically, that’s Lucius, not Draco. Why yes, I am filling my own plot hole as it occurred to me after the fact that I had Draco giving Dobby the Invisibility Cloak. He’s like 12, that shouldn’t count. I’d also imagine that Krum notices something is off about his Headmaster at around this point, as does Moody. 

Things are going to come to a head at The Yule Ball. Harry’s under no obligation to go, or ask anyone this time, so honestly…I don’t think he does. At least, he’s not likely to ask anyone, though his Slytherin friends advise him that he could go with anyone he wants. Draco takes Pansy, (I reckon she’s still in his corner) and Ron is likely planning to skip altogether, which means Harry would too. Of course, Ginny is also hoping Harry will ask her, and given how much time they’ve been spending together, Harry might have been noticing her by now. But much like with Halloween in the First Year, the real problem is Karka-mort. Who has learned from his mistakes, and plays music to put Fluffy to sleep. He is caught in the act by Moody, who has definitely been tailing him. But with no other witnesses, Voldemort is able to release Karkaroff from his hold and take Moody as a Host instead. Karkaroff is pushed right into the Devil’s Snare, and Moody-mort retreats to start from scratch. With an evil impostor taking Mad-Eye’s place, we’re back on schedule. 

Let’s say Harry takes Ginny, and it’s the beginning of a blossoming romance that won’t come completely out of nowhere in Year 6. Sorry, in both the films and the books, Harry/Ginny is totally random. But as Ginny has more or less replaced Hermione in the trio, it makes sense that this would happen sooner rather than later. At some point, I’d imagine the new “Electrum Trio” (Heh, I like that, let’s stick with it.) still walks along the grounds and overhears Hagrid talking to Maxime about their Giant heritage, as well as overhearing Snape warning Dumbledore that there’s something off about Karkaroff. Harry resolves to investigate the matter himself, enlisting both Dobby and Crookshanks to tail him. But obviously, that’s going to lead nowhere. 

Rita Skeeter publishes her defamatory article about Hagrid, as well as Maxime, and this is how Harry learns about her. Krum mentions that she was present at the Weighing of The Wands and was particularly interested in Cedric. Which reminds me, we once again have no Hermione, and as Fleur tried to score a date with Cedric in the original timeline (or it was implied, anyway) I think we can just pair the spares in this case. Either way, I can see a whole conversation evolving between Harry, Krum, and Fleur - who is likewise angry on behalf of her Headmistress. Krum and Fleur suspect foul play, of a conspiracy to push Cedric as the frontrunner to win the tournament. Harry says nothing, as he knows that would be the last thing Cedric would ever want. 

No visit to the Prefect’s Bathroom, not this time. But Ron might still see something curious on the Marauder’s Map. Remember, he has it, not Harry. Here’s the million galleon question - does Possession fool the Map? I honestly don’t know. Most other forms of magic do not, but this matters. If Ron sees “Alastor Moody” flitting about Snape’s office, he’s going to be curious but probably not do anything. If he sees “Tom Riddle” then he’s going to panic. I’m not seeing why Possession should fool the Map if nothing else does, so one night Ron sees “Tom Riddle” on the Map, loses his shit, and goes to warn Dumbledore. He takes Ron seriously, and they track the “Tom Riddle” dot until they catch up with Moody. Dumbledore immediately knows what’s going on, and he incapacitates Moody-mort. I also see the Map getting confiscated here, no way around it, but on the other hand, Rowling always said that it gave Harry too much power, so maybe this is for the best. 



What’s downright hilarious is that Harry won’t even be present for any of this, he’ll be told about it the next day at Breakfast. Rumors will be spreading like Spattergroit that Professor Moody has been arrested and guess who: Professor Snape, is taking over the lessons. Harry resolves to talk to Sirius and Remus about this on the next Hogsmeade weekend. Especially since, by now, Karkaroff’s disappearance has been noted, and he’s been reported missing. The Aurors and Ministry officials arrive to apprehend Moody, but they aren’t likely to take Dumbledore’s claim that this is Lord Volemort too seriously. And that will be their undoing. Moody dies in custody, and no one realizes that the spirit Possessing him has changed hosts again. 

Remus and Sirius are both concerned for Harry, as much like in the original timeline, there are signs that something bad is happening. Karkaroff disappeared, Moody seemingly possessed by Voldemort, and just like Quirrell, he has died upon release. Rumors from the Forbidden Forest of a Centaur who died with similar symptoms. This is not looking good. Mercifully, Sirius is a free man, so he, his (boy)friend, and his godson can all have some butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks. Whereupon, they could run into a whole variety of characters. Bagman, acting shifty. Winkie, picking up her next order of alcoholism. They could definitely gain some intel here. 

So where is Voldemort now? I’d imagine him bouncing between Hosts for a bit, probably including Dawlish because it’s just always Dawlish, before settling on the Host he wanted all along. The man with the most power and access possible, at least for the moment, at both Hogwarts and The Ministry: Barty Crouch Senior. And from here, things get a bit wild. Upon his Possession, all of Crouch Senior’s enchantments are undone, I would presume. Barty Junior is free. Voldemort is about to receive the greatest gift he could ever ask for. Or, he would, if he figures out that Barty exists and is his for the taking. But Barty has no way of knowing that Voldemort is the reason he was set free. He’d seize his freedom and run for it, probably just missing his beloved master. This could all be translated into a Scar-related dream that Harry doesn’t fully understand. You know, the ones where he sees things from Voldemort’s point of view. Likely sees him searching an unknown house and cursing everything in a rage as he realizes the opportunity he just lost. 

Second Task is basically the same. Still don’t know how the spectators actually see anything, maybe there’s some kind of magical projection to what happens underwater? Either way, Cedric and Fleur’s Hostages remain the same, and Krum’s is…I dunno, probably one of his parents? Or a friend from Durmstrang? There’s gotta be somebody he cares about, right? Either way, I think Voldemort knows he has to accelerate his plans. Crouch Senior is the best Host he can hope for right now, and if someone spots Crouch Junior alive, that will lead to awkward questions and attention being placed on him that he doesn’t want. So he needs to steal the Philosopher’s Stone right now. Ideally, he would have Crouch Junior do it for him, but…actually, you know what? This could work. Because I’d bet good money that Crouch Junior won’t skip town without stopping to kill his father first. Oh baby, father and son are about to be reunited in more ways than one. 

So Crouch Junior attacks Crouch Senior, before Voldemort reveals who he really is. And now they’re absolutely golden. Only one problem. That damn Map. They know that the means exist to spy on them so long as they’re within the walls of Hogwarts, and they know it can bypass disguises. If The Map read Voldemort as himself in Moody’s body, it’ll just do the same thing in Crouch’s. He needs to get that Map away from Dumbledore, but how? When? Well, one of the Tasks would make the most sense. Whether it’s The Second or Third just depends on how fast the Crouch family is “reunited.” Honestly though, it doesn’t much matter, because not a lot really happens in between Tasks 2 and 3.  The only thing of value is Harry looking into Dumbledore’s Pensieve. In this timeline, he could do that after his dream of Voldemort searching the Crouch household. Actually, let’s talk about that for a second. Because Harry is about to find out that Snape was a Death Eater. 

Harry is going to confront him, and I could see this scene being similar to the film version of the scene where Snape confronts Harry about polyjuice ingredients going missing. Harry is both furious and wounded. Snape rebuffs him, as we can all expect, and hisses that his past is none of Harry’s concern, before giving him detention. Harry is undeterred. He presses on and points out that his parents were killed by Voldemort, so yes, it damn well is his concern if his Head of House used to work for him. Snape grows very quiet and pale at this, and when Harry tries to speak up again, Snape loses his temper and bellows at him to get out. If Harry were to listen at the keyhole, he might hear Snape quietly crying. So he goes to talk to Sirius and Remus instead, in a scene that is not unlike the Umbridge Fire scene in the OOTP book. Surprise surprise, both of his Guardians already knew, and Remus had persuaded Sirius not to mention it to Harry. Remus insists on the concept of second chances, and Harry, experiencing a painful flashback to his own use of The Cruciatus Curse, decides to drop it. 



Back to Voldemort, who is essentially the secondary protagonist at this point. The main point is that Hogwarts is all but empty during the Tasks, and in particular, Dumbledore is outside as a Judge. So long as they’re sneaking about the castle, they might as well just try to break into the Trapdoor now. They have no hope of bypassing The Gargoyle anyway. Maybe they tried during The Second Task and failed, so they’re back for The Third Task to streamline the process? Yeah, that works. As before, Crouch pretends to be ill, and Percy is oblivious. With everyone out at The Third Task, The “Crouches” break in, put Fluffy to sleep, burn their way through the Devil’s Snare, topple the Troll, they’re working together as a team just like Crouch Junior always wanted. He apparently loved Quidditch so he can grab the Key, and now it’s time for a game of chess. No way to be sure if sacrifices wouldn’t be necessary here, as every game is different. Voldemort is a master strategist but he’d protect himself at all costs. Crouch Junior would gladly give his life for his master, though. I’m gonna say he doesn’t need to, though. Voldemort only has one piece of significance to protect. Ron had two, so he was playing with that handicap. I bet Voldemort has an easier time with this game. 

Long story short, Volde-Quirrel made it past all the trials, so Crouch-emort should be able to as well. It would be rather anticlimactic to say that he just gets away with it and no one realizes it, and odds are Dumbledore would have at least a couple of Order members stationed by the Third Floor Corridor during The Tasks but I wanna say they’d be no match for the combined power of Voldemort and his most faithful servant, so they get knocked out or killed  (again, probably Dawlish because it’s just always Dawlish) Actually, Crouch Junior is crafty, and he’d suggest wiping their memories rather like Harry does in DH to keep Dumbledore off the scent. 

Meanwhile, Rita Skeeter is discreetly stunning Fleur and Krum through the hedges, using her Animagus powers for subterfuge, before sending up red sparks to have them withdrawn from the Task. Bagman is there in the crowd to draw people’s attention to Cedric. Meanwhile, the Crouches reach The Mirror of Erised, and honestly, this is #GoodGameWellPlayed to Voldemort. Because he may not be able to break through The Mirror’s riddle, but you know who can? Only his most faithful servant, who doesn’t want to use the Stone but does want to find it for his master. Here is where, right as Cedric claims the Cup, Harry collapses into a dream/vision similar to the one he has during his History of Magic exam in the original OOTP. He screams from the intense euphoria, the sense of victory, that Voldemort is feeling, as The Elixir of Life restores him to a body. (It was confirmed to be able to do that, though I’m not sure how…) Given how it’s not dark magic, I assume he’ll just look like his old self rather than Rudolph the Red-Eyes/No-Nose Reindeer. By the time Dumbledore gets to Harry and realizes what’s happened, it’s too late. He and the teachers make their way through the various trials to find the Mirror of Erised broken, and Barty Crouch Senior’s smoldering body leaning up against it. Just then, Snape lurches as he feels his Dark Mark burn black, for the first time in thirteen years. 

I’m now realizing how much of the plot Harry just plain wasn’t there for in this installment, but it does make sense. A lot of what went on in GOF, a lot of the important stuff, wasn’t really about him at all. GOF was Crouch Junior’s book - I said what I said, and I am so glad he’s going to be back for more action in future installments of this What-If. As he and Voldemort get away, and though nobody is sure what happened, Dumbledore can guess. The Electrum Trio is now left to speculate as well, though I’d imagine Dumbledore would be honest with Harry. 



Book 4 is going to have more falling action than a Lord of The Rings movie at this point. Let’s go over all of the stuff: First of all, Rita Skeeter totally betrays Amos and Bagman, writing about their plot in her next article. She never revealed her Animagery to them, or anyone, so she can deny all involvement. Bagman has to run for it, and Amos does deny everything but Cedric now realizes that he did indeed cheat to help him get this win, and not only is Cedric’s name in disgrace and his victory tarnished, but he and his father have a huge argument that leads to a major rift. Poor guy. Well, at least he’s alive, right? 

But on the other hand: Moody and Crouch Senior are dead, and in Moody’s case, it’s far too soon. I actually don’t see that mattering too much in the future though, he didn’t really do much…like ever, since most of what he did was actually Crouch Junior. Oh yeah, and Karkaroff’s dead, too. I totally forgot about him - but that’s kind of fitting for his character, don’t you think? Here’s another small-ish change, that will be bigger down the road, much like Cedric’s survival. Bill only came to the Third Task to watch Harry, but in this timeline, Harry was not a Champion. So Fleur never meets him, and that doesn’t take off. She could stick with Krum, but eh, they live in different countries. Even if Fleur stays in the U.K, Krum’s still going back to Bulgaria. He’s got a Quidditch career and stuff. 

Let’s circle things back to our heroes. Hagrid is likely still sent on his mission to recruit the Giants, along with Maxime. Draco and Snape didn’t have a lot to do in this installment, I realize that now, but to be fair the only real contribution of value is the reveal that Snape was once a Death Eater. Speaking of that, I could actually imagine a scene where Harry stops him before he leaves to rejoin Voldemort as a spy. He tries to brush Harry off and say that he is very busy, but Harry talks over him to say that this is his chance to make things right. To prove that Dumbledore is right about him, that he can change. I can see this version of Harry being a bit more open to seeing another side of Snape a little earlier, though how much Snape goes for that is of course, a separate conversion. 

Speaking of Harry, he and Ron are as close as ever, and now he and Ginny are definitely a little closer too. Ron is probably not sure how he feels about that, but mostly he knows that it’s a good thing and is probably annoyed that it’s a good thing, if that makes any sense. They’re definitely going to be writing to each other a lot this summer, that’s for sure. Actually, given how Arthur learned about The Crucio incident, it’s not Ron who’s going to have an issue with this - more likely, it’s going to be Ginny’s parents. Oh, and Percy is also in hot water for the same reasons he was before, Crouch still turned up dead after all. 

Dumbledore is an even worse position to prove Voldemort’s return to Fudge than he was before. Cedric’s alive and well, and there was no funny business with the Tournament - I mean, other than it being rigged in Cedric’s favor. All he has to offer is a broken mirror and another mysterious death that he attributes to Posession. Fudge would be just as likely, in this case, to start trying to control the goings-on of Hogwarts. He’d very much suspect Dumbleore of having some kind of agenda. He also doesn’t trust Harry, not by a longshot. Harry is not only a Parselmouth with a record of using underage magic, in this timeline he’s a Slytherin who has not only attacked muggles but has used an Unforgivable. And the Ministry looked the other way. They’re not going to do that anymore. 

It’s definitely intriguing to see how the perception of Harry can shift even though he’s fundamentally the same person, just in a new situation, but to a lot of people, he’d seem different. 

Did I miss anything? Oh, I just realized. Harry doesn’t win the Tournament so he can’t give the Triwizard winnings to Fred and George. That means they don’t get to start their joke shop and just wind up getting screwed over by Bagman. Actually, with that in mind, people might even wonder if they were actually in on the plan. It’s tricky because they’ve never liked Cedric, but they are in his Year, he was the Hogwarts Champion, and their fathers are friends. Not to mention Percy is under investigation himself for the mysterious death of Crouch Senior. Oh, the Weasley family’s in a lot of hot water now…

Voldemort was really out here Possessing people left and right in this one, almost reminded me of Belos. But that's it for Year 4!

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’ve just finished Josie Long’s recently released short story collection, Because I Don’t Know What You Mean and What You Don’t, and holy hell, was it ever good. I mean, I expected it to be good, because it’s Josie Long. But I don’t really know exactly what I expected it to be, as I have not read a lot of short story collections in my life. I just knew she was going to deliver something that would be worth the time, and she really, really did.

Short stories aren’t a big draw for me mainly because I tend to like longer things; you can get across a short plot and a basic iteration of a theme and/or message in a short story, but it’s not generally enough to really get to know a character. And if I’m going to get into a bit of fiction, I like to do that. The big thing Josie Long managed to do with these stories was make the writing so immediate that it felt like we did know all the characters, even in the limited time and space.

Every story was written in incredibly close first-person – aside from one, I guess, which was sort of second-person, in that it used this dialogue-only trick that I thought was amazingly effective. They all read like a stream of consciousness. Like they weren’t just a description of something that happened – they were a transcription of the inner monologue that someone had while they experienced something, and we can work out what they experienced based on that monologue. This meant that sometimes I had to scramble a bit to keep up and work out the narrative, but I think that was the point. Doing that kept me even more engaged in the stories. The settings and circumstances and even the identify of the viewpoint character unfold a little at a time.

It’s fairly wide-ranging in topics, but keeps coming back to the same themes, which is what I’d expect from Josie Long, and I loved all of it. Hope and anxiety and uncertainty and longing, and I realize those words are broad enough so they could describe the themes of just about all fiction, but she really gets into them, from so many different angles. And then more specific things, like the way causes and ideals get transformed across years and generations, the way individual feelings and relationships still matter in existential struggles, justice versus compassion, people trying to understand each other across experience gaps. And capitalist alienation and class analysis, obviously. Obviously Josie Long brings it all back to class-based struggles.

Here's one really specific thing: she has a couple of stories – one in particular, but also a few more – that touch on unrequited love in a really intense and detailed way, and I realized I haven’t heard that all that often from a female perspective. Which says more about me than about the world, I think, as there definitely are lots of stories out there about unrequited love from a female perspective. But it does happen that probably too high a proportion of my music and stand-up comedy collections are by men, and that’s where I get most of my stories, and most of the time the gender of the artist doesn’t make much of a difference anyway, but romantic love does tend to be a gender-subject. And sometimes I find myself relating more to stories like that from straight men than from straight women, as my stories were more about being into girls who didn’t like me than boys, but still, I didn’t realize until I heard this tell it from the female perspective, how much I appreciated getting that side.

I thought the title drop was brilliant. Really hard-hitting moment, and the right call to name the whole book after that.

Having said that, I did read a few things other people said about the book, and saw several comments on it being a female-driven book overall, and I have what I think is an irrational level of annoyance toward that view. I mean, the fact that it’s written by a woman obviously affects the perspective. And a lot of the stories are told by female protagonists. But some of the stories have male protagonists, and almost all of them are universal.

I don’t think it’s always bad to characterize a book as being “female-driven”. The last book I heard before this one was Fern Brady’s Strong Female Character, and I’d understand saying it about that one. That one talked a lot about how Fern Brady’s life has been affected by misogyny, and other female-specific experiences (hence the title). And that’s not a bad thing at all, it’s good to have books about that! I just don’t think Josie Long’s book really is one of those things, and that is also fine. This book does touch on sexism and gendered oppression, and you don’t come out of it doubting whether the author’s a feminist, and it covers some stuff that does feel female-specific. But it takes so many different perspectives on so many different issues, it covers such a broad range of ways to look at things. It’s nitpicky to complain about this, as I see why people would call it a book about female issues and that’s not completely wrong, but also, Daniel Kitson can write one poignant play about a woman who’s pining for her ex-boyfriend and a man who plays guitar on the street and a man who calls a TV station when he’s lonely and a couple who go to clubs, and no one says he writes about men’s loneliness, you know? It’s recognized as universal. Josie Long's book has some stuff that I think happens to women in a way it doesn’t happen to men, and from my own female perspective I like reading that stuff, but also, so much of the book feels universal. There’s just so much going on, so many different things in each story, it’s so much bigger than any one thing.

Even with all the range, you can feel how much of herself Josie Long put into the book. I recognize a few little parts of a few of the stories from her autobiographical stand-up, though I believe the vast majority of the actual characters and events in the book are entirely fictional. But more than that, her perspective is in there. The simultaneous pessimism and hope. The way she can be dark but not bleak, find something that matters in the worst situations. The way she finds the stories worth telling in the apocalypse. There is an apocalypse, by the way. I got fairly near the end and was surprised that none of the stories had featured a dystopian, post-climate/fascist apocalypse society, but it’s okay, she did get to that in the last couple of stories. But even in the stories that don’t involve an all-out apocalypse, all the stories are applying some kind of socialist lens to everyone’s problems.

A few of the stories remind me a bit of The Perimeter, the one-off thing she did with Liam Williams a few years ago. In fact, that one almost could have been one of the stories in this book. Some also had shades of Super November. I’d say I think she drew from those previous things she’d done while writing in a few of these stories, except that I’m pretty sure those themes just make it into everything she does.

A few of the stories are based around some really creative, original ideas. And lots of them are based around common, well-trodden ground, but her perspective is so individual that it feels fresh no matter what she talks about. It’s engrossing and thought provoking and emotionally effective and complicated.

Also, I’m pretty sure she can write. I’m not exactly an expert on this, but I do know a few little things about the “artform” of properly good writing, given that I work as an editor (which I realize you would not know from my Tumblr posts, I realize that more every time I reread one and catch all kinds of typos, but I am actually all right it when someone’s paying me to edit stuff), and I’m pretty sure this is good. I’ve read a bunch of books written by comedians, and for many of them, I can tell the technical writing level isn’t quite what you’d expect from someone who’s an author first and foremost, but I don’t mind that, since I want to hear what the comedian has to say whether they’re a technically proficient writer or not. There have been a few exceptions to that, comedians who wrote books that feels really technically well written. The main ones I can think of right now being Alan Davies, Sandi Toksvig, and now Josie Long.

It's just really good. I listened to the audiobook, and in my experience with comedians’ books, I have found that what they (well, some of them, not all) lack in technical writing proficiency, they often make up for in being really good at reading their own writing for the audiobook. Which makes sense, as they have lots of practice with that skill from stand-up. Hearing the inflection in Josie Long’s voice on the audiobook adds a lot to the stories, I think. But I’m still planning to at some point get the physical book, too, and I’m looking forward to that.

[studyblrbymaya]

study tip #1: eliminate. all. distractions!!!

i kinda find that on days where i don’t feel hugely motivated, i tend to make use of every single excuse that i humanly can so that i can study a tiny amount, or even not at all. whether it’s a random politics thing that i supposedly have to do, or a random book that i supposedly need to read, or a random rabbit hole that i find and investigate, needlessly, for 3 hours, i’ll try and go straight for the distractions. inevitably, these usually work how they’re supposed to, and i usually end up kicking myself at the end of what could have been an extremely productive, useful day. 

for me, i found that my main culprits are pretty much everything on my phone, random news stories on my laptop, hearing my family outside my study, and random thoughts about random things that i may or may not need to do, creeping into my head at extremely random points during the study session. i also tend to get quite fatigued if i’ve studied for longer than i can cope with. acknowledging all of my distractors is great: i’m self aware, and i know the reasons for which i’m unproductive. i don’t know if i have these in common with some people, or whether certain ones are quite exclusive to me, but here’s what i’ve found helps to stop my focus dwindling:

for my phone: it goes away!! if i’m studying downstairs, my phone is in my room upstairs. it’s always just out of sight and out of mind, and as such i’m not tempted to pick it up and doomscroll twitter (or the few tweets that i can, anyway... thanks elon for the stupid rate limits.) or randomly send my friend a gif of a dog which inevitably causes gif wars to begin as she fights back with ones of cats... if it’s not with me, it’s out of my frame of mind and i can be more productive. as for random websites: i set myself a challenge. i might say that i can only use 5 websites not related to my studies all day, or within a certain timeframe. if i’m having a day where i feel particularly distracted, i’ll usually let myself scroll through random things during the pomodoro breaks that i take, and abide strictly by the time limits of these breaks. that way, i feel fulfilled, my brain’s had a break from studying, and i’m also on task when i need to be!! in terms of hearing my family outside my study, it’s a quick fix. CLOSE THE DOOR!! no matter if they’re baking delicious food outside, no matter if they’re talking about the latest marvel show... i’ll close the door and focus on what i need to do. sometimes that’s hard, but i always remember to spend time with my family if i can, even if it’s just a quick conversation with them in the morning if i’ve got a particularly intense day of studying to do.  as for the random thoughts creeping into my head, i never knew what to do with these. they would make their way into my brain, lodge there, and grow and grow and grow as i tried to focus on the task at hand. instead of ignoring them, i now  acknowledge them. i tend to write them down on the whiteboard next to my desk, or on a random post it which i’ll then stick on a wall facing away from me. this means i’m not distracted, but also can attend to it, so i won’t forget about it and feel frustrated in any way.  in terms of the fatigue, using the pomodoro technique works wonders. on a usual day, it’s 60 minutes on to 10 minutes off, but if i’m struggling with what i’m studying or i’m feeling particularly stressed, i’ll sometimes send 45 minutes studying and 15 minutes on a break. my breaks are never static: i might go for a quick walk, i might talk through what i’ve learnt with a friend, but i’m strict with myself. i set a boundary that whenever the timer goes off to start the next session, i need to be there and i need to be ready to study. this means i can avoid games like ‘i’ll make it up later!!!’ (i never do) or the famed ‘well, i’ve wasted 5 minutes, might as well go chill for the whole session.’ (all that does is contribute to a lack of productivity.) that was an absolute rant and a half... i doubt anyone read all of that, but it’s a useful reminder for me, too... happy studying :)

[dreamg0rly]

Hiiiii!! so here’s a lil backstory (sorry if it’s too much). but basically i’ve known about not loa communities for almost 3 years. i started off with law of attraction but soon later found out about the law of assumption and switched over bc the first one caused a lot of limiting beliefs and overall the law of assumption was just way easier for me. and i manifested HELLA things with the law of assumption but ofc i consider dem “small” things so me wanting to get into the void is every big to me bc i’ve made a whole list of things that i want to affirm for in the void. before i had took months off from manifesting like all tg (didn’t happen on purpose) i had tried to get into the void once before. bc then i was one of those ppl that would switch methods every other day after it didn’t work the first time (obviously bc i wasn’t persistent in the fact and being consistent) and would just try sum new. but when i did try to get into the void i did a meditation and just affirmed for the void the first time i felt symptoms and almost made it but got to scared and backed out and the second time i didn’t feel any symptoms at all and i don’t rmb why bc it was like almost a year ago but i had gave up. and after i took a long ass break like i said earlier and i really improved myself in a whole lot of ways not only have i seen my progress but my ppl around me have seen it to. and i started thinking i’m finna be a mfn senior bc i am dis my last week of school and i want my dream life before we go back. so lately i’ve been looking into the void again and i have my list and a whole plan of what i’m going to do to get into the void; listening to delta waves every night while going to sleep while affirming my affirmations, affirming throughout the day and just persisting fr in the fact that i always wake up in the void bc i feel like it would be easier for me. also ofc i’m eager to get my desires but i’m not in a rush bc i want to do everything right and not disappoint myself by possibly failing so i’m really waiting for school to be over so i won’t feel stressed (from work and school) and can actually have time to relax bc ik dats what i need to get into the void. but i really have faith and believe my plan would work out bc of some posts i’ve seen on here (i tried to link it but it wouldn’t let me) and i’m really excited for it bc idk why but i just believe if i do everything thing that i feel like is right and that would work it will and i’ll have my dream life soon.

here are my affirmations:

i always wake up in the void aware

i love waking up in the void i can easily affirm for wtf i want and get right out

my affirmations are going to be some like those. i don’t really manifest using the same affirmations i really just be affirming how i think on a regularly basis like i just let it run naturally. but my main point of sending this was a lil fear that i have bc i’ve read ur “tips for the void” and it’s help me but i’m still kinda worried about one thing. i’m kinda scared that me going to the void and affirming in it i’ll just shift in a reality that has everything i want but it’ll just be temporary. like i’m scared it’ll feel like it’s fake like i’m living a fake temporary life. idk it might be confusing but that’s just how i can explain the fear i have.

no i completely understand! i recommend you read some success stories. in void success stories they usually detail out how they manifested their desires permanently through the void and how they are living their dream life in their cr. youll see the difference between void success stories and shifting stories super quickly. just set the intention you want your desires in your cr permanently!

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU [Book 4]

Catch up here! 1 2 3

Chapter 8: That’s Not How You Eat a Banana

Hanaka’s freak out caused a whole lot of hassle for her and Tensei. The staff had to go all hands-on deck to keep things peaceful to appease the mother of the twins (aka the school’s biggest donor and contributor). It’s not looking too good for the twins.

-Lunchtime, at school-

“Hey, you girls go ahead” said Hanaka to her friends “I’m just gonna-”

“What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?” asked Petti “You always want to have lunch.”

“Yeah! I even brought those strawberry Koalas Nya!” Kyanka presented the colorful box of snacks in her paws “Your favorite!”

Hanaka eyed the snacks “Thanks but I’m just not feeling myself today.”

Twinkle gasped “What did that school counselor tell you?!” she furrowed her brow “Because if he said something bad, I’m going to-”

“Guys it’s not what the school counselor said” Hanaka waved her arms to dismiss any escalation of anger “I’ve just doing too much talking to people this week. I need some quiet time with no talking.”

The girls looked at each other with worry, Hanaka was usually the high energy one and seeing her so worn down like this was concerning.

“Okay, you go have your alone time” assured Petti “We’ll see you later.”

The other two nodded, making Hanaka feel a little better.

“Thanks guys” sighed Hanaka in relief “see you later.”

The girls waited for Hanaka to turn the corner that led to the stairs for them to scurry off to the roof top. They sorta had the same idea to spy from afar to make sure their friend was okay. The girls have been worried about Hanaka since the freak out a few days ago and wished they could do more to help. 

“Nya! Good thing I got my multi-use googles today!” Kyanka said as they pulled out her support tool out of her bag “Could use the practice before the license exam.”

“Girl isn’t that after the training camp?” Twinkle asked as she tried to scope out Hanaka in the courtyard.

“Wait, didn’t sensei say that was pushed for after the licensing?” Petti was trying to recall “No wait, that doesn’t make sense.”

The girls were trying to remember meanwhile Hanaka strolled near the mindfulness garden. She really hasn’t had the chance to see what it was all about other than that her mom got this built when she made her first big donation many years before she had kids. 

“Mindfulness Garden, built to give students a place to reflect and heal mentally. Bulit in honor of Intelligence alumni Agent 19, CEO of Robodog Inc and Inner Circle agent of the Emperor’s Coup.” Hanaka read the plaque at the entrance of the garden “Huh, I forget that mom is an agent. What a girlboss!”

She makes her way into the garden and sits under the willow tree that’s tucked in a more secluded part of the garden. Bringing her knees up to her chest, lunch bag set next to them, they give a large inhale and exhale into a heaving sob. God, they were so mentally exhausted! They didn’t want to talk about their feelings or performance in school to teachers or counselors anymore! And they don’t want to burden their friends with their feelings. With things at home being limited to basically talking to their dad that doesn’t know the meaning of being so mentally tired, Hanaka feels so alone. She could wait until their mom is done with her company stuff, but she wants her now, not a week from now! Her boiling hot tears flow out of her tired, little eyes. Tears so hot that they sizzle upon contact. 

“What do you see?” asked Petti to Kyanka, trying to toggle the settings

“Nya hold on! I’m trying to find the right setting, but the buttons are too small!”

“Just use your nail Kya” suggested Twinkle.

Kyanka groaned “My daddy made me file them down because I was snagging on everything in the house” she flexed her paw to show the other two “I can’t do shit with just my beans!”

“Yeesh! Here I’ll click through for you” Petti grunted “Tell me when.”

“Okay!.....NYAH!” Kyanka signaled “Where did you lose her Twinkle?”

Twinkle pointed toward the garden “Over there, she went under those trees and I’m not sure where she went after.”

“How are you going to see through the trees?” asked Petti

“These googles come with a heat seeking setting” Kyanka looked toward the area “And since Hanaka radiates high heat, she’ll show up as bright white on my thing.”

“Wow look at you kitty girl! Having the braincell today!” praised Twinkle 

“FOUND HER! Wait, nya?”

“What is it?” asked Petti and Twinkle

“Well I found her but theres another thing I’m picking up, nya” Kyanka was trying to explain “Another, person? Thing? Person shaped thing?”

“What’s got you confused?” Petti was trying to piece what Kyanka was seeing.

Kyanka pursed her lips in concentration “Like, why is this thing pitch black? Like it’s made out of the coldest ice ever. And it’s...moving around? So it’s not an ice sculpture, nya.”

Twinkle gasped “Hanaka’s direct opposite?! What are the chances!”

Meanwhile, Hanaka wasn’t aware that she wasn’t alone until she hears a very soft but close by “Damn!”

That startled her out of her thoughts, looking around to see who was there. But she didn’t see anyone next to her, maybe somebody was behind the tree? She crawled to peer behind the trunk of the tree, at first there was nobody there but in a blink of an eye, suddenly appeared a male uniform with a presumably invisible person in it. Hanaka flinched in fear but didn’t want to look away out of curiosity, she’s never met an invisible person before! Even though she couldn’t see their face, she felt their eyes on them.

“I- um, I-I-I” the invisible person stammered, like they just got caught.

Hanaka wasn’t sure why they were acting like that but then noticed the spilt soy sauce on the knee of their pants.

“Ah! Here, I have a detergent stick” Hanaka reached into her bag to pull out a pen detergent stick “I eat really messy too, don’t worry.”

The person was hesitant to reach for the pen she offered but slowly leaned over to grab it “Th-thank you” they said in the same soft voice.

Hanaka looked on as they removed their stain “Oh uhhh, I’m-”

“You’re Hanaka R. Iida, Hero course student in 1A” the person finished her sentence ��I know who you are.”

“Whoa, how do you know my name and class?”

“I um, I studied you closely- NOT IN A PERVY WAY!” they clarified in a panic “I mean, I’m a business student here. I’m Tenten Chuubei, class 1A. The business course has us predict trends on things like top students or who’s more likely to be a top hero or sidekick.”

“Oh, cool! I didn’t know the business course did that” Hanaka was even more intrigued now “Say, I’ve never met anyone with your quirk! How does it work?”

“Huh? You’re curious about me?”

Hanaka nodded eagerly.

“Well, I have three quirks, according to the registry here” the person explained “I have invisibility, clairvoyance and sheer cold.”

Hanaka gasped “Cold?! I’m a fire user!”

“I was kind of hoping we’d never cross paths for you to see me like this” Tenten sighed as they recapped the pen “Don’t think you can-”

“Can I shake your hand with my hand at max heat?”

“Huh?” Tenten was confused as hell

“I’ve never experienced the cold before, and it doesn’t snow where I’ve lived my entire life” Hanaka stuck her hand out “I’d love to see how it feels.”

Tenten looked Hanaka’s hand and gulped hard “Now that I think about it, I’ve never felt warmth” he reached out his hand slowly “I’m curious too.”

Even though Hanaka can’t see his hand, she certainly felt it when his fingertips touched her palm. Their hands fell into the handshake position, but they didn’t do the shaking part because they were too focused on the new sensation. They didn’t know how long they were holding hands or how the other was feeling, all that Hanaka could do is give a big dumb grin and wide eyes. 

“Why the hell are they just holding hands?” Petti squawked “I just know she convinced them to hold hands, Hanaka always wants to touch things with they’re quirk related.”

“Hm? I didn’t take Hanaka for the curious type” commented Twinkle as they munched on the abandoned Koala snacks “How do you know?”

“Nya, she asked me what I was hiding my mittens when I was the new kid in preschool” Kyanka clapped her paws “She said my paws were cool and would poke my beans. And we were friends since!”

Petti groaned “When we were babies, Hanaka would collect my feathers when I was preening or molted” she lifted the back of her feathers on the base of her neck “She burned me on the neck when we were toddlers when she tried to put my feathers back on when I molted. I like to say she branded me as her friend at that point.”

“Nya, I have mine too on my wrist!”

Twinkle gasped excitedly “Wow! When will I get my friendship branding?!”

The two branded friends looked at each other, then at their unbranded friend.

“You don’t wanna, those burns were painful as hell!”

“Humph! I just want a friendship thing!” whined Twinkle, crossing their arms “Bracelets are so cliche! I want to get branded!”

Back to Hanaka, only 5 minutes has passed in the hand holding position, but the boy was starting to feel a bit weirded out.

“Alright, erm” he spoke as he loosened his grip.

“Hm? OH!” Hanaka quickly let go at his hint “That was nice! So that’s how being cold feels like.”

The boy was looking at his hand “Yea, nice...Like I was going to, melt? Turn into water?”

“Do you have lunch here every day?” blurted Hanaka “Can I join you again?”

“Erm, I come here to hide” said the boy meekly, making himself invisible again “I gotta go.”

“WAIT!” Hanaka bolted up but it was for nothing, he ran off and she couldn’t see him. 

Now Hanaka wants to get to know Tenten and become friends. She was excited to tell her friends that she experienced cold for the first time. But the others already had an idea of what happened.

After School, walking to the nurse’s office

“YOU WHAT?!” yelled Hanaka

The girls winced at the outburst.

“We were concerned for you!” Petti defended “We gave you the space.”

“Nya! I didn’t say that we knew who that was or what was said” Kyanka crossed her arms “It was just predictable and surprising that the one time you want to be alone is the time you find your direct opposite.”

Twinkle was pouty and slowly inching their hand toward Hanaka “If you’re mad, you can take it out on me.”

Petti and Kyanka slowly lowered their friend’s hand away, making them more pouty. 

“ANYWAYS! Who was the person?” asked Petti “are they nice? Bitchy?”

“Are they pretty?! What class are they in?” asked Kyanka “I don’t think there’s an ice user in the B class next to us.”

Hanaka raised an eyebrow and recalled “Hm, actually. They’re an invisible quirk user with 2 other quirks. And they’re a boy in the Business course.”

The three girls gasped and eyes widened.

“A boy?! You held hands with a boy?!” screamed Twinkle before Kyanka shoved a paw in her mouth to silence her.

Hanaka looked at her hand and fully processed what she said to Tenten earlier. Once it clicked she turned red and set the top of her head on fire. 

“Oh my god why did I do that?!” panicked Hanaka, hands on her cheeks “I’ve never talked to a boy that wasn’t my siblings’ friends! I was just curious! Oh geez what if he thinks I was flirting with him?!”

The squak were in hysterics right outside the nurse’s office, thankfully nurse Eri put a stop to it before anything caught on fire. The girls calmed down and got the band aid for Twinkle before leaving. Hanaka was very bothered by this realization but didn’t really know how to express it or explain it. She just went straight to her room once she got home, no words exchanged to her twin or dad. She even forgot to lock her door! That’s how bothered she was.

“Hanaka? You want a snack?” her dad asked carefully before opening her door a bit wider “We just got our shipment of hot chips, mom got your favorites.”

She looked over to her dad in the doorway with a bag of Exxtra Hot Cheetos. No words were spoken, just her holding her hands out with the grabby hands.

Her dad sat at the foot of the bed and waited to see if Hanaka wanted to talk about what’s bothering her as she popped the chip bag open. Hanaka just crunched, unable to find the words but just a singular sigh.

“Ah, so you talked to the opposite sex and your friends/classmates are teasing/shocked about it and you’re not sure how to feel about it because you’ve never talked like that and wonder if they took it the wrong way but you just wanted to make a friend.”

Hanaka stopped mid crunch “What the- how did you?”

Their dad chuckled “That’s what happened to me when I held your mom’s hands for the first time when they told me their secret” he reminisced “I told my brother when I got home and my classmates saw me from the third floor window hold her hands. I was embarrassed and unsure about my feelings, because I wanted to be friends with her. But at the same time I developed feelings that never truly went away.”

Hanaka turned red again, as bright as the cheetos she was snacking on.

“It’s okay to feel like this, you don’t need to figure it out right away” their dad opened his arms for a hug “take your time, you just met this boy right? Who knows! He might make a really good friend.”

Hanaka threw herself into her dad's arms for the hug “Thanks dad.”

He embraced her “Anytime Hanaka. Just take my advice, if you do find yourself that you like this boy: Don’t wait, just tell him you like him. You might regret it if you don’t say anything.”

“Is that what happened to you?”

“Yes and if I wasn’t just a denier of my feelings, I would’ve confessed 2nd year and married the day we were 20 years old.” he sighed and held his daughter tighter “But then you and your siblings wouldn’t exist! And I very much love you all.” 

“Dad, are you crying?”

“....yes” he croaked “I just really love my little family and all my children are growing up so fast! It’s like last week you were crawling for the first time and now you’re talking to boys! I’ll blink and you’ll be married!”

“Dad! I don’t know if I even like this boy!” Hanaka tried to squirm herself out of her dad’s embrace “let me go you big sappy fool!”

“No, because if I let you go” her father didn’t budge “you’ll grow up! Stay little just a bit longer please.”

Hanaka stopped resisting and pondered on what her father said, almost in defeat. 

“Fine, no promises that I won’t be a little taller tomorrow tho!”

-Later that night, before bedtime-

There was a knock on Tensei’s door

“Go away Rosa”

“STUPIDO TENSEI YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WANT!”

Tensei sighed and unlocked the door anyways “Que quieres?”

Hanaka barged in and front flipped onto her twin’s bed, almost missing the edge of the mattress. She turns to properly face Tensei.

“I have to tell you many things twin brother.”

“Uh huh? That’s why you come in to stand higher than me?” Tensei smirked as he sat at his desk chair “Pues? What do you need to tell me gemela?”

Hanaka takes a deep breath “Okay, first off! I’m sorry for letting my rage get the best of me at school.” She did a tiny hop on the bed “Secondly, I know I’ve been a shitty twin and dragging you into all my drama but I know it’s because I depend too much on you fixing things.” She did a slightly bigger hop, just enough to get the bounce back of the mattress “Thirdly, but not leastly-”

“Those aren’t words”

“Shut up! I’m trying to made amends with you!” Hanaka huffed as she did another hop “What I mean is that, I need your help with something not school related.”

“Oh? You’ve piqued my interest!” Tensei leaned in with his elbows on his knees, holding his chin “Continue.”

Hanaka carefully sat down on bed, leaning toward her twin “I uhhhh, I need help talking to this person I just met today.”

“Who are they?”

Hanaka gets shy “It’s a boy in the business class. BEFORE YOU TEASE ME! I want your help with talking with boys.”

Tensei gives his twin a look “You need help talking to this boy? Why, you like him or something?”

“I don’t know!” she threw herself back, laying perfectly on Tensei’s freshly fluffed pillow “I talked to him and since the only non-family boys I’ve talked to are your friends and the children of our parents’ friends, I literally don’t know if I said something that sounds like I’m flirting with him or it’s friendly.” 

“Ay Rosa, talking to boys is so simple” sighed Tensei, folding his arms “Boys wear their emotions on their face.”

“Okay but what if he has an invisibility quirk and he doesn’t show his face in the first place?”

Tensei blinked and put a hand on his chin “Damn, I didn’t consider that, what the fuck Rosa?!”

“You see why I’m freaking out?!” Hanaka groaned “Help me Tensei! I promise to help you out with talking to girls!”

“Fine I’ll help, the offer won’t be needed” Tensei gave in “tell me about your interactions and I’ll say if that was friendly or not.”

“Yay! You’re the best twin ever!” Hanaka sat up quickly with her arms out “The offer will be on the table, just in case.”

Before Tensei could say anything, the robo-dog trotted into the room.

“Children, it’s 10:11pm on a school night” the robo-dog displayed a count down “You have T-minus 90 seconds to get to bed with lights off before I alert your mother.”

The timer starts ticking down

“Run Hanaka! Mama is letting dad chose the punishment this time!” cried out Tensei.

“Aw FUCK!” Hanaka ran with no quirk at high speed to her room. Not wanting to fuck around and find out this time.

The robo turns to Tensei, making him yelp and jump into bed “Goodnight doggy!”

“Goodnight Tensei” The robo starts trotting out the room, turning off the light “Sweet dreams, your mother returns tomorrow in the afternoon.”

Tensei waited until the door closed to breathe out “God that thing scares me! Why the fuck is that thing the reason for my family’s wealth?”

-Chapter 8 End-

<Previous - Next>

[chronic-invisibility]

Possible tw for ed mentions, sh mentions, meltdowns, and gi issues

So i’ve been having horrible gi issues on and off for months, and then when i started new antidepressants they got worse, so i stopped taking them (as instructed by my psychiatrist, don’t stop taking meds without talking to your doctor) and we waited a while and then were like ok let’s try something else. Same problem. I’ve basically been living in the bathroom, i can barely go to work, i had to go to urgent care last week it was so bad. So i finally saw a gi specialist today and we’re basically going to have to try systematically ruling things in my diet out to see if any of those are the problem, do some bloodwork, and if none of that gives us any answers, do a colonoscopy. I’m already stressed as fuck bc having wicked diarrhea several times a day and no solutions and having to go to work anyway while all this is happening is really bad, but as someone with limited foods i eat in the first place due to my sensory issues from autism and also an undiagnosed ed (which is rapidly turning from probably osfed or smth into just full blown fear of food and eating bc i have no clue what’s setting my stomach off) this is going to be really hard. The first thing he wants me to stop eating is dairy, and cheese is one of my safe foods. If i don’t eat cheese for 4-5 days like he’s suggesting, i’m basically just not going to eat lunch the whole time. And then if that’s not it, try other things, like fresh fruits and veggies, which i actually do like, so that’ll suck, too, and then soy and eggs and then wheat.

If none of it helps, I’m going to have to get a colonoscopy, which is deeply unpleasant when you’re healthy but even worse if you’re not, and i’ve also had a pretty bad relapse with sh recently and that will be very visible if i have to do a colonoscopy, which is also stressing me out. I don’t want to do a colonoscopy, mostly bc of how awful it is but also bc i don’t know what they’ll say or do if they see pretty fresh cvts all over my hips, i’m an adult so they probably can’t tell my parents without breaking a bunch of hipaa laws, but who knows what they’d do. Not me. I’m really not sure what’s going to happen, and i’m stressed about cutting back my already limited diet, and honestly i don’t think any of the foods he wants me to stop eating are the problem, bc it’s not like “oh when i eat bread i shit myself” or “oh when i eat cheese i shit myself” or any of that, really, i just have horrible horrible abdominal pain and have to rush to the bathroom 3-5 times a day. And it gets better after like 4pm ish anyway but i feel like that might be bc i’ve not really been eating breakfast or lunch most days and by that point there’s just literally nothing left in my system to come out, and then i eat a small but otherwise normal dinner, maybe a snack, and then it starts all over again the next day. I just don’t know what’s going on, and that’s why i went to see a specialist, but i feel like some of the things we might have to do are going to cause more distress than just having horrible gi issues forever. And i can’t exactly say “i’m not going to do that even if it might fix the problem bc i’m a whiny pathetic baby” and i’m DEFINITELY not going to say anything about the sh stuff, i’m just hoping he finds something between the lab work and the diet stuff and we don’t have to do the colonoscopy. But honestly if i end up being lactose intolerant i’m not going to stop eating dairy, we’ll just have to find a way to mitigate symptoms bc that would be cutting out one of the main things i do eat and that seems like a worse plan than avoiding it. If it’s soy or gluten or whatever i can deal, plenty of people have celiac or soy intolerances or any number of other things, but if this is lactose i’m not gonna be able to just do alternatives and give it up. I’m just not. And if none of this is the problem and the colonoscopy doesn’t give us answers either then i have no clue what to do. Obviously that’s why i saw him, bc he’s the one who has to figure it out, but i’m stressed. And meanwhile i basically just have to not be on any antidepressants bc they keep making it worse. Hopefully if we can figure out what’s causing the problem we can do something to either fix or manage it, and eventually i can go back on some kind of antidepressants bc i really shouldn’t be completely unmedicated, i’m such an asshole and i keep having meltdowns and making everyone around me miserable. Which also side note, i used to think i never had meltdowns growing up but i definitely did i just didnt know that’s what they were, i thought sometimes i just cried hysterically for hours and could barely function afterwords and it was just part of life, but now i know what it is and jesus it fucking sucks, i hate it so much. The one on sunday was even worse than usual i basically destroyed my room and hit my head on the floor and my bedframe a bunch and made my parents even more upset than usual, it was awful and i hate it so much. I guess part of the reason i thought i didnt have meltdowns is bc for a few years the meds i was on made me so numb i literally couldnt have anything close to that and was basically a zombie but before that i used to just collapse and cry and cry and cry and barely be able to talk or do anything for a day or so after and i guess that’s what my meltdowns are.

Idk all of this just kinda sucks really bad and i there’s almost nothing i can do about it other than see if it’s a diet issue or something else and hope i wont have to do a colonoscopy and hope we find some kind of solution bc i cant keep living like this.

[la-principessa-nuova]

Update:

I posted that at like 2:30 AM having already put off going to bed since like 10 PM when I stopped what I was doing and couldn’t decide what to do and ended up in bed on my phone.

Right after posting, I closed Tumblr and I was getting up to get in the shower when I noticed I had a voicemail.

Since they’re usually just spam I figured I’d just look at it to clear the badge, but it was from work. Apparently some automations failed due to something only I knew how to fix.

I ran to my laptop and fixed the issue, but they had already decided I probably wasn’t going to respond and tried skipping that step which caused all sorts of other issues that took it from something I could fix to something that would require discussion across departments in the morning.

Except this is my week off, after the longest period of the year with no time off and then canceling my first week off after that time because a conference got scheduled for it, but then I couldn’t even attend the conference because an important meeting got double booked with it.

And now I’m wide awake and angry about it at 4 AM after I finally showered and got in bed, so I need to sleep in if I can, but now I’m nervous about the response from management in the morning because the impact of this is pretty big.

So now I’m searching for jobs because I am so done with this place right now and was literally just talking to my therapist about how I want to leave but not quite yet, but now I’m just fed up with it.

And I also don’t want to start a new job because I’m trying to focus on my personal life, and I wanted to try to get to a point where maybe I could turn one of my artistic outlets into a job, which gets set so far back every time I start a new job and it takes more energy, leaving me with even less for artistic things.

Plus I was hoping to time switching jobs with socially transitioning so I can start fresh with people who don’t know my deadname.

But also I could really use the pay increase from switching jobs.

But I should be asleep, and I know when something wakes me up in 4-5 hours I’m going to wake up in a panic and check my work email immediately, so I’m going to be stressed and tired on the first day of my week off, which is already pretty limited because I have a dentist appointment in the late afternoon, which is now in 11 hours after this whole ordeal.

I know that any worries about consequences for this are just doom spiraling, so I can put those to rest for the most part, but the feeling of wanting to leave from having to deal with things like this are valid. It’s actually something that’s been on my mind as my name gets put on lists of who to call in the middle of the night, and I just keep telling myself it’s fine because it probably won’t happen anyway. But then here it is. In the middle of the night and there’s nothing I can do and now my whole next day is ruined.

it is amazing how many hours i waste because i don’t feel like getting in the shower yet, but then i want to just get it over with, but then i remember i need to wait for the water to heat up, and then i’m like, never mind i’m not ready yet

[mandos-sluts]

The Apology

The Mandolorian x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Wordcount: 2.5k

Warnings: Smut, rough sex, dubious consent, degradation, daddy kink, dirty talk, alcohol consumption

Summary: You cause Mando’s negotiation to break down seek a way to make it up to him

A/N: Please message us or comment if you want to be on our tag list!!

You and Mando have been working as partner bounty hunters for about six months. The two of you just apprehended and turned in a bounty that was incredibly difficult to catch. But Mando was especially driven to catch her not because the price on her head was super high (though it was), but because there was a possibility the two of you would be able to collect the payout in beskar. The agency that put the bounty on her has a considerable reserve of beskar, and Mando has heard that they have paid out in beskar before.

The two of you arrive at the cantina where you’ve arranged to meet with a representative from the firm to negotiate your payment. You are exhausted and extra irritable— that bounty put up a grueling fight. You and Mando slide into a booth as a waiter approaches your table.

“Your strongest spotchka please.” You tell the waiter.

Mando turns his head and looks at you. “Y/n.” He says in a low, warning tone.

“What, Mando? We just turned in a bounty which we spent over a week hunting. I’m allowed to have a drink.”

The waiter returns with your drink and it’s gone within the minute. You set your empty glass on the table as a frail middle-aged man walks up to your booth.

Mando rises eagerly to his feet. “Hello sir, thank you for coming.” He says, shaking his hand. You don’t bother to stand, instead offering him a silent smile. You and Mando are partners, but this whole beskar exchange is his forte, and you’re fine with letting him take the lead.

“I understand that you would like to negotiate for your payment to be in beskar.” The man says sitting across from you and Mando.

“That’s correct sir. Thank you for meeting with us.” Mando returns. You’ve never seen him be so polite and formal with someone before.

“My consortium pays out in beskar very rarely. And that is typically only when the value of the Imperial Credit or the Calamari Flan are especially volatile. But both currencies are stable right now, why should we pay you with our limited beskar reserves?”

Mando begins his argument. *see gif* You pretty much zone out, slouched beside him. You know he’s saying something about how beskar is sacred to Mandalorians and how the amount you’re willing to accept in beskar is much less than they would pay you guys in a different form.

“Well, we would like to be in good standing with you.” You hear the man say as you zone back in. “And you must be one hell of a bounty hunter if you’re able to afford escorts as young and pretty as her.” The man says pointing at you. “Maybe I'll use the credits we don’t pay you to pick one of them young things up for myself.”

You lift your head and sit up straight. Being a woman bounty hunter, you get sexist comments like this all of the time. You usually ignore them, especially in high-pressure situations like this. However, you downed that spotchka you ordered and the alcohol is overriding the voice in your head that tells you to keep your mouth shut.

“I’m not a sex worker, I’m his hunting partner.” You assert, completely unamused.

“Hahahaha oh that’s cute. Sure you are, sweetheart.” The man cackles.

“And ya know….you probably wouldn’t need to pay women to be around you if you weren’t such a creepy pervert.” You say harshly.

Instant regret.

The tone in the booth immediately shifts. Shock and offense cover the man’s face.

“...Excuse me?” He says slowly rising from his seat with his palms on the table.

Mando quickly stands. “Sir, I’m sorry, she didn’t mean that. Please we–”

“Who the hell do you think you are?! You come in here asking for a favor and then disrespect me!?” The man yells down at you. “Here!” He tosses a bag of coins on the table. “Enjoy your Imperial credits!” He spits before turning and storming away.

“Wait sir, the beskar–” Mando pleads, but the man is already out the door.

You feel the guilt rise in your stomach. “Fuck! Mando I’m so sor–”

“Shut up. Let’s go.”

“Mando wait let me go talk to hi–”

“Let’s go!” He barks at you, making you jump.

You spend the walk back to the Crest profusely apologizing to Mando. He stays silent and doesn’t even acknowledge you. He’s walking so fast you’re running to keep up with him.

You desperately seek a response from him, but Mando enters the ship without saying a word. He makes his way up the ladder and you follow.

“Mando! I fucked up, I’m really sorry I shouldn’t have said anything. I know how important recovering beskar is to you, and I’m so sorry. I was drunk and….and I’m so so sorry!” You plead as your eyes fill with tears.

“Mando.” You beg, voice cracking as tears begin rolling down your face, “Please, please say something.” You cry as you pull on his arm. He yanks away from you and walks silently into the cockpit.

Mando has been livid with you before. You guys have engaged in plenty of screaming matches throughout your six months working together. They typically stem from you doing things he doesn’t think are safe, or the two of you disagreeing on what strategy you should employ to catch a bounty. But you’ve never seen him like this before. He’s more upset than angry; he’s disappointed. So much so that he doesn’t even want to yell at you. This is his creed, his religion, his people’s stolen commodity, and you just fucked up a chance for him to get some of it back.

Mando sits down in the pilot’s chair. You’re standing in the door to the cockpit behind him.

You take a deep breath. Your eyes are glossy and streaks of tears stain your cheeks. “Is–is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

Mando spins around in his chair so that he is facing you. “Yeah.” He says shortly.

Your eyes widened. “W-what is it?”

“Get on your knees.” Mando says in a low, rough voice.

“What?”

“You heard me. Get on your knees.”

Your knees shake as you slowly lower yourself to the floor. You sit on your knees and stare up at Mando with wide eyes and a confused desperate look.

“Take your hair down and take your dress off.” He commands flatly.

“Um, wh–”

“Are you gonna make me tell you again?” He interrupts you.

You pull your hair tie out of your hair, letting it fall down past your shoulders. You look up at Mando sitting in the chair, and see that he’s rubbing an unmistakable bulge over his pants.

Arousal shoots through your core and you can feel your panties become damp. He takes off his gloves and drops them to the floor. You begin slowly unbuttoning your dress, and Mando unbuttons his pants, removing his hard thick cock as he stares at you. He starts slowly stroking his length with his hand, sitting there, unapologetically watching you undress on your knees in front of him.

You can’t believe what’s happening. You’ve fantasized about Mando almost every night since you became a team, but you never envisioned something like this.

You pull your dress over your head and set it down on the cold metal floor next to you. You weren’t wearing a bra, so you’re completely naked except for a thong. Mando stands up and starts slowly creeping toward you, his cock in hand. Your head tilts higher and higher as he nears you with your gaze on his visor.

He stops when he’s standing directly above you, pumping his cock just inches away from your face which is still fresh with tears.

“M-Mando, I–”

“Shut up.” He snaps, grabbing your chin with his other hand. He runs his thumb along your bottom lip. “I only want your mouth open if my cock is in it.” He pulls your face toward his member and you instinctively part your lips as Mando pushes it into your mouth.

You’re in shock by what’s happening, but you manage to gather your composure and you begin sucking his dick. In any other situation, you would tease him by licking his length or starting only with the tip, but you figure it’s best to jump right in.

“Fuck.” Mando says under his breath, surprised at how readily you started bobbing your head.

You take a deep breath through your nose and move one of your hands to his thigh to steady yourself and the other to the bottom of his shaft and move it up and down along with your head.

Mando’s breathing picks up. “You’re such a fuckin brat.” He spits, weaving his hand into your hair on the back of your head.

You swirl your tongue around his tip and begin to take more of his length. “F-fuck your mouth feels so good.” Mando breaths out.

You let out a whimper and look up into his visor. His words encourage you to bob your head faster.

“Shit, y/n. You’re sucking my cock better than I thought you could. You do this a lot before, little slut?”

You feel arousal shoot to your pussy at the vulgar things that he— your hunting partner, your colleague— is saying to you. You can feel that your panties are soaked.

Mando’s grip on your hair tightens and he begins thrusting his hips. “Do you know how many times I’ve thought about shoving you to your knees and forcing my cock into that annoying mouth of yours?”

Breathing through your nose, you try your best not to gag as you let him take control. You want to show Mando how good you are at this— how much you can satisfy him.You bring your hand up and start kneading his balls, and Mando grunts. He can’t believe how submissive you’re being.

“Pfft, you’re a– a desperate little whore, letting– letting me fuck this delicate little throat of yours.” Mando says between thrusts. “You know you could tell me to stop, but you like this don’t you? You like being treated like a slut.”

You let out a pathetic whimper, signalling how right he was. You love that Mando is using you and fucking out his frustrations on you.

“Bet your panties are soaking wet.” Mando says. He takes his cock out of your mouth and grabs your upper arms. “In fact, let's see.” He says as he pulls you up off your feet. Mando sits down in the pilot’s chair and throws you over his lap.

Your head is near the ground and your ass is perched up on his lap. Mando spreads your ass cheeks apart and peers down at the drenched thin fabric covering your pussy. He grabs the top of your thong and wraps it around his hand. He pulls it up, making the fabric pull against your clit. You let out a yelp but he doesn’t relent, pulling it so hard until it snaps. He tosses the stretched broken panties to the ground and gazes down at your glistening, soaking wet cunt.

“Ha. I knew it. Fuck. Look at this desperate pussy.” Mando runs his middle finger through your folds. “Poor little girl. That why you’re being such a brat? Huh? You needed someone to fill your neglected little hole?”

Without warning, Mando plunges his middle finger into your hole and starts pumping it fast. Your mouth opens and whines begin to fall from your lips. Mando’s other hand slaps your ass. And you scream out. He spanks you a few more times, each harder than the one before.

The sounds of your whimpers, the sounds of his hand striking your soft skin, and the sounds of your obscenely wet pussy gushing as his fingers pump it fill the otherwise silent cockpit.

“Fuck your pussy is tight, y/n.” Mando spits. “You did such a good job with my cock in your mouth, let’s see how your pussy takes it.” He says flipping you around so that you are straddling him.

“Mando, I-I don’t know if it’s gonna fit!” You cry as you bring your hand down to cover your hole.

“I’m gonna make it fit.” Mando growls back, shoving your hand away and lining his member up with your entrance. But then, noticing the genuine worry in your eyes, he changes his tone.

“Come on, baby girl, open up for me.” Mando purrs softly. With his hands on your hips, he slowly guides your hips down so that just his tip enters you. He can feel your body relax.

You let out a breath and stare deeply into his visor, your hands are wrapped around his neck. You begin moving up and down his length, each time taking more of it into you as your moans become louder and your mouth falls open.

Mando lets out a grunt once his cock is fully engulfed by your walls. He can’t help but thrust his hips up as you begin to pick up your pace. Your moans become screams as his harsh thrusts upward coincide perfectly with the drop of your hips.

Mando is driving deep into your cunt as fast as he can. He moves one of his hands to your throat and squeezes it. “You– you gonna behave now, you little brat?”

“Y-yes, daddy.” You whimper back.

“Yeah? You gonna be a good girl for me?” Mando says as he aggressively spanks your ass.

All you can do at this point is nod in response. Your mouth agape and uncontrollable wails fall from your lips.

“You’re a dirty little slut, aren’t you? Letting me fuck the shit out of this prestine cunt of yours. Calling your partner daddy. Do it again.” He commands. “Call me daddy.”

“Daddy! D-daddy please– please don’t stop.” You cry out, gripping his shoulders and neck for dear life.

“Fuck, this pussy is– is so good. I might just have you sit on my cock while I– while I pilot the fucking ship.” Mando says.

He moves his hand back down to your waist and pushes your back so that he’s holding you up against him. His cold beskar feels so good against your nipples. Mando starts thrusting even faster and his grip on you tightens as he feels his orgasm approaching. Then Mando abruptly lifts you off his lap and drops you onto your knees in front of him. He stands up, pumping his member with his hand.

He’s panting. “I’m gonna cum on that pretty face of yours.”

You close your eyes and stick out your tongue, just as you feel Mando’s warm juices rain onto your face. “Ahhhhhhhhhh fuckkkkk.” He moans, looking down at your docile expression as he paints your skin with his cum.

“You look good like this.” Mando says with a slight chuckle as he bends down. He runs his thumb across your chin and then puts it in your mouth. You obediently suck his finger before he pops it out and grabs you a rag.

You wipe your face off. “Mando, I’m sorry.” You say flatly.

“I forgive you. And I’m sorry too.” He says sincerely. “That guy was an asshole.”

**********************************

Masterlist

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Taglist:

@pinkninja200 @raspberrymama @stevie75 @tacticalsparkles @kenoobiwan @shark-s @theamuz @blackrose8425 @beskarboobs @smutslutz

[thatweeboverthereisthirsty]

Can I call you mine?

A commission from the lovely @carlottastudios who I absolutely adore after only having a few conversations with. These were jealousy scenarios with a bit of spice! I went over my word limit on Jamil’s but that’s just cause I love him so much! Please enjoy! And commissions are open still! This one cost $3

Warnings: slight spice, fem!reader, jealousy, protectiveness, possessive behavior, light light LIGHT angst, marking kink (is that a thing? oh well. Basically a love bite that displays their claim.)

   “In the jungle, the botanical jungle, a lion sleeps all the time~!” you sang out teasingly. Leona huffed and his tail thumped against the ground once in irritation. Giggling, you slid closer and poked said tail, which retracted swiftly, prickling in annoyance.

   “Scram herbivore.” Leona’s tone was mildly annoyed but had no bite to it. Truthfully he hoped you would inch just a bit closer so he could grab you and hold you hostage as his pillow. 

   You hummed and stood, much to his displeasure, and grabbed your school stuff. Quietly you packed everything away and threw out your lunch trash before returning to Leona’s spot one more time.

   “I have class now, Leona. I’ll see you later, kay?” he grunted in agreement and watched you walk away, nose twitching as he inhaled your fresh scent one last time before it began to fade. The down side of the botanical garden was that any smell other than flowers was quickly dispersed by the sickeningly sweet perfume of nectar.

   The lion sighed and stared up at one such flower with distaste. How dare they try to outdo his beloved? He would never appreciate their scent more than hers. He rolled his eyes at the ridiculous thoughts and fell back asleep. He hummed as he did so, mimicking the tune you had sang to him. He missed you already.

----------

   5:48 P.M. You were 18 minutes late. 18 minutes had passed since you were supposed to be in Leona’s bed, curled up next to him, petting his ears, and doting on him like the king he was. 18 minutes where Leona gradually became more worried, as well.

   It wasn’t like you to be late. Especially not late to a night with him. It set his instincts off and he was on high alert, tensed, ready to pounce on anything that dared touch his mate. Finally when the clock turned 5:20 he sprang out of bed and strode down the hall with power that sent the message “don’t mess with me”.

   In the Savanaclaw lounge you were seated next to the decorative pool, chatting amidly with a fellow student. Leona glared and growled when he spotted you, far too close to the other man for his liking. He watched in anger, as the student slid even closer to you so that your hips touched briefly.

   Rage flashed in Leona’s eyes and his expression darkened into something dangerous. He stalked over behind you and the student, who seemingly didn’t notice his presence and hastily picked you up before throwing you over his shoulder. 

   “Hey! Put me down!” you cried out and he snarled at you. “Quiet, herbivore!” Recognizing your boyfriend's voice you stilled and relaxed a bit. At least it wasn’t some stranger. 

   He mentally gave you points for fighting back when you didn’t know who it was. “That’s right, only I get to touch you.”

   Looking down at the student who had been sitting with you, he noticed your homework was on his lap and realized he had just been helping you. He growled and turned walking away, a bit upset that he didn’t have a good reason to turn them to dust. Not that he needed one, but he couldn’t imagine upsetting you by harming one of your classmates, no matter how much he wanted to.

   Soon he reached his room and threw you on the bed. You landed with a gasp and looked up at him in confusion and slight annoyance. “Leona! What was that-MPH!”

   He silenced you quickly by shoving you down on the bed and sliding his tongue into your mouth. Immediately your body relaxed underneath him and he smirked when you brought your hands up to weave into his hair. 

   Only he got to touch you like this. Only he got to kiss you. Only he got to say that you were his. His and his alone! 

   You panted when he pulled back and started to ask why but he kissed you again so you couldn’t. “Jealous. Protective. Possessive. Mine” He said between kisses and soon trailed them along your jaw and down to your neck.

   A breathy moan slipped from your lips as he sucked on the sensitive skin near your collar. He kissed up until he was right over the junction between your neck and shoulders. Then he bit down hard, drawing a loud cry from you. 

   The taste of your blood only just barely appeared before he pulled back and began to kiss the wound. He knew that licking it would irritate it further due to his cat-like tongue, but he still attempted to soothe it as much as possible.

   Finally he pulled back completely and gazed down at you with a smirk. Several different bruises and love bites littered your neck, shoulders, and collar. Only one had been deep enough to break the skin. It would scar he was sure and the thought of you always wearing a symbol of his claim made him purr.

   He stopped though when he realized he could have hurt you. “I’m sorry. Princess, I didn’t mean to get so upset, it’s just instincts.” he sighed. 

   You smiled at him and pulled him down for another kiss. “Don’t worry. I find it super sexy when you get possessive.” His eyes widened in surprise and he took in your mild blush. “Hmmm…” he purred with a smirk. “Well in that case you don’t mind if I mark you up a bit more… and while I’m at it you can use that pretty voice of yours to remind the whole dorm that you’re mine and mine alone!”

   Jamil gritted his teeth and turned away from the lounge. He made his way to the kitchen and immediately began to prepare more horderves. Kalim’s party was going wonderfully, of course all due to his hard work. Although he supposed he appreciated a week's notice and Kalim did help magically with some of the decorations.

    He was still stressed, but not quite as much as he could have been, had Kalim not given him a warning. In fact he was looking forward to actually trying to enjoy one of Kalim’s parties for the first time since he was born. 

   It was a very nice party and since everything was going smoothly, Jamil found time to sit down and sip some juice. Alcohol wasn’t allowed on school premises but grape juice mimicked the taste nicely depending on what brand you bought. Kalim was partial to the sweeter stuff, while Jamil preferred it to be more sour.

   However, he found that the sour taste in his mouth wasn’t from the juice at all when he spotted you dancing joyously with some other student. His smile fell into a frown and he watched angrily as the student pulled you close and said something that made you laugh.

   You had a beautiful laugh, it was the kind that made everyone in the room sigh in content when they heard it. Jamil fell in love with it almost as hard as he had fallen in love with you. Especially because you rarely laughed for anyone but him.

   To hear you generously sharing that sound with some nobody sent flashes of anger through him.  He clenched his fists and dug his nails into his palms a bit. Just remembering it made him pissed.

   Shaking his head to clear it, Jamil got to work cutting up some more vegetables at a fast speed that would intimidate anyone who tried to approach him. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone so he glared darkly at the food in front of him in an attempt to send off silent go away signals.

   Kalim, who entered the room to find Jamil after seeing him storm off, caught sight of the frustrated man and paused to observe his body language. Ever since Jamil’s overblot, Kalim had been trying to read his friend's emotions better. Luckily he caught on quickly and left the room.

    Jamil sighed in relief and set the knife down. Why the hell would you wanna hang out with anyone but him! You were his and his alone! The only thing he had claim over, or ownership of. Mentally he berated himself for thinking that way. You weren’t an object, you were a person and you should be allowed to do whatever you want. He would be a hypocrite if he tried to restrict your choices and behaviors.

   “Jamil?” The man spun around and found you standing behind him with a concerned look on your face. “Kalim told me you looked upset, is everything alright?” Your tone was soft and worried. It eased Jamil’s emotions in the way it always had. You always put him first, a habit he both loved and hated. On one hand he adored being pampered for once, on the other he knew what it was like to ignore your own wants and needs for another person.

   He sighed and put on a smile, taking your hands in his own. “Just tired that’s all.” you frowned and glared up at him in the way you always did when he lied.

   “Now, I know that’s not true. I’m not gonna force you to tell me, but I also want you to know that you can be honest with me. That’s why I’m here.” Jamil bit his lip and turned away, a flush rising on his cheeks.

   “The truth…” he hesitated. “The truth is I don’t want you hanging out with that other student!” The sudden exclamation took you aback and you blinked in surprise. “I don’t want to control you or tell you what to do and who to hang out with, but I also want you all to myself. No one else should be able to touch you or whisper in your ears, or dance with you, or make you laugh and smile. That’s my job, because your mine, not theirs!”

   At this point you were blushing as well, but noticed he was beginning to get upset. “And I’m so sorry for saying that like you’re some object, cause you’re not. You’re a person who deserved to make their own choices and decisions, but goddamnit I can’t help wanting you all to myself. You’re- you’re…” he paused and looked at you. “You’re special… to me. I don’t want anyone taking you away from me. I know i’m being a hypocrite but don’t go back out there. Stay here and be mine-”

   Jamil was cut off by you kissing him passionately on the lips. His eyes widened before they fell closed and he snaked his arms around your waist, tugging you flush against him with a growl. 

   His tongue swiped at your lips and you parted them obediently. He smirked and chuckled lowly before slipping it into your mouth. “Good girl.” You moaned through the kiss and felt your knees weaken. He pulled you around and lifted you effortlessly onto the counter. His kisses moved from your lips to your neck where he simultaneously worshipped and abused your skin.

   Love bites and dark bruises displayed his rough treatment, but the sighs that fell from your lips told him that you were enjoying it greatly. Silently he pulled back to observe his handiwork and smirked at the amount of marks he had left behind. Some would be easy to hide, whereas others he had left strategically in places that would be impossible to cover up. He felt a little guilty, knowing that you would be slightly upset later for making it so hard to hide the fact that he had been kissing you, but seeing something almost like a name tag, or a brand, that signified you were his and his alone, stirred something in him and he was tempted to never let you leave his sight without a mark warning people off about advancing on you.

   “Jamil…” you spoke shakily. He looked at you and how wrecked you were just from some kisses and his gaze darkened with lust. His tongue licked his lips subconsciously and he watched you shiver in reaction. “I have something important to tell you…”

   He raised an eyebrow and moved his head to the other side of your neck, placing kisses and marks there as well. It made it very hard to think so you momentarily pushed him away, making him growl in displeasure. “Don’t feel bad about being possessive over me, okay? Because when you are…” you hesitated, “it’s really freaking hot.”

   His eyes widened and an almost evil smile drew up on his lips. “That so… well, then I guess you don’t mind me leaving a few more marks over here,” he licked a stripe up your neck drawing a gasp from you, “to show the whole world that you belong to me!” He snarled it out before biting lightly at your skin and relishing in the way you tilted your head to the side with a moan. Yeah, he could get used to you hanging out with other boys so long as he got to do this to you before and after.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Late Night Talks

Summary: After a long hunt, the reader and Dean grab a late dinner on the road. Dean notices the reader not eating much and calls her out on her recent eating habits when he gets concerned about the road she’s on...

Pairing: Dean x reader

Square: Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 1,900ish

Warnings: language, discussion of disordered eating & eating disorders, fluff

A/N: Written for @supernatural-jackles​ Tell Me A Story Bingo! 

______

“I read this article earlier,” said Dean as he popped a french fry into his mouth. You were about five hours from home, eating a midnight dinner at some tiny little diner on the side of the road after a successful but exhausting ghoul hunt.

“Mhm,” you hummed, picking at a brussel sprout on your plate. 

“It was on disordered eating,” he said, picking up a piece of bacon that’d fallen onto his plate and eating it.

“You mean eating disorders,” you said, stabbing into the sprout and eating it before you went back to your dicing up your chicken tenderloin.

“No this was something different. It’s like, how some people shift into having an eating disorder, like pre disorder I guess.”

“So...was there something interesting in this article?” you asked, picking up a piece of chicken and taking a bite.

“Actually yeah,” he said. You chewed and took a few bites before he set the burger down and wiped off his hands. “It was about how there’s dangers involved with disordered eating since it could turn into something all consuming, like a full on eating disorder.”

“Well that sounds kinda obvious,” you said. 

“Well it was about how stuff like skipping meals, limiting your calories too much, saying some foods are good and others are bad, that stuff over time can really start to mess with your head and lead to that compulsion of being obsessed with food and weight.”

“Isn’t that just common sense,” you said. He hummed and you ate another piece of chicken before pushing the plate away. “I don’t know about you but I’m full.”

“Yeah, it is common sense,” he said. You raised an eyebrow and he pulled out his phone, tapping on it for a moment before spinning it around, showing you a number.

“Are you tracking my fucking calories?” you said.

“Oh geez, Y/N. Maybe cause you hit every red flag in that article I read and I got concerned. There’s no humanly possible way you’re full when you’ve eaten a whopping 800 calories today. You’re starving yourself.”

“I’m not hungry today, weirdo,” you said. 

“You were slow on that hunt and we both know why. You’ve been doing this for weeks really extremely and honestly, since I’ve met you.”

“I’m on a diet. You know that.”

“You’re on the ‘I’m fucking up my metabolism’ diet. Ah, that one’s a classic,” he said.

“Back off. I am not hungry lately is all.”

“Eat this,” he said, sliding his plate in front of you. He took your plate and started eating, staring at you. “Eat the burger.”

“I said-”

“Take one bite.”

“I’m not hungry,” you growled.

“Then take a bite and spit it out.” You picked up the burger, covered in cheese, bacon, peppers and a sauce that smelled so good. You swallowed and put it down, Dean shaking his head.

“Dean. I’m just not hungry.”

“Why won’t you take a bite?” he asked. You sighed and closed your eyes. “Y/N.”

“Because I’ll want to eat the whole thing and this has to be a thousand calories and I can’t eat that much, Dean. I’m on a diet.”

“Today I’ve seen you have three cups of coffee, a banana, and half of a small piece of chicken and a few brussel sprouts. You need to eat.”

“I need to lose weight.”

“For what?”

“I’m overweight.”

“Because a little stupid calculator online said so? So another stupid little calculator tells you how much food you’re allowed a day? But maybe you’re having a bad day so you tell yourself you don’t deserve to have even all of that already restricted food? So you make it even smaller to the point of, hm, what’s that word, disordered eating?”

You stared down at your lap and heard him get up, sliding into the booth beside you. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you looked out the window.

“I do need to lose weight Dean. It’s true. I’m not supposed to be this big.”

“What are you supposed to be then?”

“Like that waitress. She’s small and thin. She’s healthy.”

“I see,” he said. She was working behind the counter, no one else in the place aside from a man at the other end and the cook. “Excuse me miss?”

She popped her head up and walked over with a tired smile.

“Can we get another bacon cheeseburger? And a big bowl of that ice cream sundae?” he asked.

“You got it,” she said, writing it down.

“One more thing,” said Dean. “Do you like the way you look?”

“Excuse me?” she said.

“Dean, shut up,” you said. “Please ignore him.”

“I mean, are you happy with your body? Do you eat whatever you want, wear whatever you want, never worry a second about what goes in it or how it looks? You’re a beautiful woman but what do you actually think of yourself?”

She was quiet for a few moments before she noticed the swapped plates in front of you.

“You know when you first asked that, I thought, you were being creepy. I get creepy guys in here a lot late at night. The cook is a big guy but it happens. I know I’m small. I wish I was stronger. I wish I looked like she does. I’m something that looks like they’d snap in the wind. She’s strong and has an ass and curves. She’s not a rectangle with no curves or chest. She doesn’t look like a guy. I wish I wasn’t so delicate but I don’t think I can change that much.”

“Probably not so much,” said Dean. “But I hear weight training is good for muscle building. Creeps are always creeps but might help to be able to deck ‘em.”

“Yeah. I’ll go put that order in for you guys,” she said with a smile. Dean turned his head back to you after she went through the double doors.

“Funny. You want her body. She wants yours,” he said. 

“She doesn’t know I’m overweight.”

“She doesn’t know how damn strong you are. Her body? She was right. She is delicate and it’d be a safe idea for her to put on some muscle given her job. You though? You I’ll worry to death over no matter what. But you’re missing the most glaring thing of all.”

“What?”

“You just said she doesn’t know you’re overweight. She doesn’t know how much you weigh. If she doesn’t know how does anyone know? Why does a number on a scale matter? Health does, don’t get me wrong, but care more about what your body can do than what size pants you fit in. It’s all bullshit anyways. You can be a small one place or a triple XL somewhere else. You can have a normal chest but be told it’s too big or too small by a different brand. I just don’t want to see you going down a path towards something worse where you’re hurting yourself.”

“I’d never hurt myself, Dean.”

“If your body is hungry and you don’t feed it, you’re hurting it. I’m talking about you’re cold, you’re starving, you have no energy, you feel like crap. But you won’t eat, not until it gets a little worse because you think you can take it because you’ve taken it before. That’s hurting yourself and you hurt yourself a lot sweetheart.”

You looked down and swallowed, taking a deep breath.

“I’m really cold right now,” you said quietly. “I’m tired of always being so fucking cold.”

“Eat,” he said, tugging his plate closer to you. “I’ll order you some soup too. That’ll warm you up.”

He took off his jacket and wrapped it over your shoulders. He kissed your cheek and you squeezed your eyes shut.

“I’ve been like this for years, Dean. I don’t know how people eat normally anymore.”

“I know. You probably fucked up your metabolism but we can unfuck it up too. You can be healthy but this, this isn’t healthy. I’ll do it with you but you gotta promise me you won’t starve yourself anymore.”

“I’ll try,” you said.

“I’ll take trying to start with,” he said. “I’m gonna order that soup. Eat up for me sweetheart. You’ll feel better soon. I promise.”

One Month Later

“Y/N!” shouted Dean from the kitchen as you walked past. “You eat lunch yet?”

“No,” you said. 

“Are you hungry?”

“A little. I was waiting for you to get done with Baby,” you said.

“What’d you eat so far?” he asked.

“I had a cup of coffee and a protein bar and for lunch I’m having one of those greek wraps I like,” you said. “Satisfied?”

“I’d prefer if you had two wraps or a wrap and snack with it,” he said. You grumbled and he sighed. “Y/N. You said I could take the lead on this.”

“I’m gaining weight,” you said.

“Yeah cause you aren’t eating what a toddler does in a day anymore which is perfectly healthy for a grown woman. I know it’s only been a month but you have so much more energy, you sleep better, you have less nightmares. Your skin looks amazing. So gain a few pounds, gain more than a few, let’s fix your metabolism and then we’ll start working out a little and we’re not gonna give a fuck how much we weigh at all and we’re gonna be the hottest fucking couple in this neighborhood I swear.”

“I like not feeling cold anymore,” you said with a small smile, Dean walking over and rubbing your arms. “It’s just...hard sometimes to not...wait to eat until your stomach hurts from no food. I’m figuring out what being hungry is again.”

“It’s gonna take some time but your body will learn again. We just gotta be extra nice to it right now while it recovers,” he said. “And then we’ll always be nice to it, right?”

“Yeah,” you said. “I promise.”

“So, one wrap or two?” he asked, opening the fridge.

“One. I’ll save the other for tomorrow. But maybe I’ll have some pita chips and hummus with it?” you asked.

“That sounds yummy,” he said. “I think I’ll have that myself.”

“You don’t have to eat my diet Dean,” you said.

“I could do with being nicer to my own body myself,” he said. “After lunch do you want to go for a walk? I have a sneaking suspicion the couple three blocks over are a pair of vamps.”

“That’s the guy with the skin condition, babe,” you said.

“Are you sure cause he got like a weird rash that one time.”

“It’s a condition,” you said with a smile. “But I would love to go for a walk with you while the day is still nice.”

“Sounds like a plan sweetheart,” he said, starting to take food out of the fridge. You walked over and gave him a hug from behind. 

“Thanks for saying something. Even if I tried pretending I was fine.”

“You’d do the same for me,” he said. “Come on, cutie. Let’s get some grub. I’m starving.”

________

[hxneydreamers]

i genuinely don’t understand why would people manifest their sp to turn “good” and be a better person with them even after they cheated or were overall not a good person to them. like no!! you deserve someone who is naturally not a fucking asshole!! please run!! i promise you’ll find better!!!

SHOULD I MOVE ON FROM MY SP?

Hey! Let me begin by saying that you have made a great point that I would love to cover in full here, not just to answer your question, but for anyone else who is reading this and is feeling doubtful and like they should move on.

So sorry that this is long, but it's a very important topic to cover and I'm very thankful that you prompted me to discuss it. I'm not trying to force you to believe this is true, you may not want to believe the law of assumption and that's ok because it's your life, I'm simply trying to explain why people do decide to manifest a specific person back because you said that you genuinely didn't understand why they would do that.

Before I go into this, I'll state that I PERSONALLY DO NOT ADVISE YOU TO MOVE ON OR DROP YOUR SP UNLESS THAT'S GENUINELY WHAT YOU WANT! I am definitely NOT encouraging people to drop their manifestations here and I will never limit anyone's belief. HERE IS WHY:

Would you tell someone that wants to improve their self-esteem to run away from the idea, because they've never had good self-esteem before? Would you tell someone who wants $1 000 000 to run away from the idea that this could be good for them because they've never had this much money before? Would you tell someone who wants to improve the health of a family member and cannot afford the healthcare or surgery they need for this to be 'possible' to just give up and move on, because things just are the way they are?

With the law of assumption, NOTHING is set in stone and NOTHING just 'is the way it is'. EVERYTHING is mailable. You should not succumb to the 3D and surrender to your circumstances, because you are the one controlling them, and by allowing yourself to just let things be, you are just giving those circumstances more power.

With regards to your message, I completely understand where you're coming from and I get that you only want to encourage people to accept 100% from people at all times, which I agree with. However, the difference is that your definition of only accepting 100% from people stems from the idea that people just naturally are the way they are and the only way to find what you want is to walk away from your SP and find someone who gives you this right off the bat. MY opinion, however, stems from my knowledge of the law of assumption, which means that all versions of people exist at the same time and you have the power to tap into the version of your SP who DOES give you 100% right off the bat.

I appreciate that you only want to empower people by telling them to walk away from those who have hurt them, I completely get it and I love that you are trying to help people by getting them to move forward onto someone 'better', but this is unfortunately the kind of limiting belief that we have to ignore if we really want to manifest someone specific. If someone still wants to be with an SP who has cheated, as per your example, they can, not only simply because they want to, but because (and this is what I would like you to try to understand) if they do manifest being in a loyal and loving relationship with their SP, they are not going to be with the same SP who cheated on them. THIS IS THEM MOVING FORWARD TO SOMETHING BETTER, only it's the same SP, just the version of them from a different reality that IS naturally inclined to treat them amazingly in order to reflect their new and stronger self-concept.

The whole idea is that multiple versions of people exist at the same time, they aren't manifesting the person who cheated on them to change, they're manifesting the version of themself who does not experience bad treatment from their partners, or anyone else for that matter.

In my posts about SP's, I have stated that when you manifest a specific person, you are not CHANGING anyone else, you are changing YOURSELF. You are simply improving your self-concept and self-esteem in order to step into your power and become the version of yourself that no one would dare to hurt. You become the version of yourself that is treasured and treated like a king/queen/ruler.

With all due respect, what you are saying is coming from too logical a perspective for the law of assumption, and the thing is that if you want to start to make the law work in your favour, you need to let go of logic and every limiting belief you have ever been taught that tells you that some things are just 'out of your control'.

Everyone is, and has always been manifesting, whether it's on purpose or not. Manifestation is not magic or a technique that you just decide to try, it is called the LAW of assumption for a reason. It is a law- it's the way things work. Everyone and everything operates under the law of assumption at all times, that's the whole point. Human consciousness and imagination have the power, and whatever they believe and focus on will always reflect back to you somehow, and it has always been doing this your whole life, you just weren't doing it on purpose.

Making people aware of the law of assumption is simply alerting people to the fact that this is how we have always operated without knowing, and to help people learn to use this to their advantage and start making specific things happen for them on purpose so that they can experience what they want! Since the law will always exist and always reflect our thoughts back to us anyway, we may as well make it work FOR us, right?

There really is no room for logic in the law of assumption, because manifestation is not really logical in that it is not in line with anything that we have been taught. Manifestations unfold in a way that may seem logical in the 3D, because in order for your reality to shift from one to the other, certain things must unfold to cause the domino effect that brings about your manifestation (this is called the 'bridge of incidents'), but that happens because our minds wouldn't be able to comprehend it otherwise, and if things manifested instantly, the world would be chaotic.

Also, (this is the most important part here), if you say that people should choose someone who is not 'NATURALLY an asshole', you should know this. You may not understand the law of assumption, so I understand your point from that perspective, but the thing is that nothing in your reality is final or naturally going to be/act a certain way because they are not acting of their own free will, they are only reflecting your inner assumptions, because you are in the reality where you are someone who believes this can happen.

If you first meet someone and they are an asshole to you, this does not mean they are naturally an asshole, it means that you have the belief that there is a possibility that people can be an asshole to you, whether you think that you deserve it or not. Following this first encounter with the person, you will now have the belief that they just are an asshole, and this is why you will continue to only experience them that way. Your 3D reality literally has NO CHOICE but to conform to your assumptions and dominant beliefs and thoughts, because this is the law!

People that want to manifest an SP need to recognise and understand that their SP's actions are only reflective of the way that they have been describing/constructing them in their mind and imagination, but what's MORE, is that their SP's actions towards them are also a reflection of the way they think of themselves as well.

If I were to have experienced being in a relationship with an SP who didn't prioritise me, then this is likely a reflection of the fact that I don't prioritise myself and do not see myself as important enough for others to prioritise, in turn. I may have insecurities that caused this, or I may simply believe that it is just possible for me to be treated like this by someone, because 'that's just how the world works. There are good people and bad people.' False. None of these circumstances matter and all of this can literally stop existing if I were to work on my self-concept and step into the version of myself that is always ALWAYS TREATED LIKE A GODDESS! This completely eliminates the possibility of ANYONE treating me like I'm less than number one, INCLUDING AN SP! Your SP is as easy to manifest as any person or thing, the only reason it may seem like a bigger deal is because of emotional attachment to the situation.

I would honestly never advise someone to just give up on an SP and move on to someone new, and this is why:

1. If they give up on their SP then they are basically surrendering to the 3D and giving the SP power. I would never encourage someone to do this, as this implies that their circumstances are just too hard to overcome, but the fact of the matter is that CIRCUMSTANCES DO NOT MATTER! THIS is why they can manifest an SP, regardless of what 'has happened' or not.

2. If they give up on their SP and move on to someone new in hopes of 'finding someone better' without having changed their beliefs and assumptions first, this could result in them repeating the same cycle all over again with the new person, because they still have the same negative beliefs and have not improved their self-concept! Let's say for example I am manifesting an SP who cheated on me and didn't prioritise me and then I decide to just pick a new SP. More than likely, the new SP is also not going to treat me how I deserve to be treated because I still haven't done anything to address the issue at hand, which is NOT that the SP is a dickhead, it's that I have the assumption that I'm not prioritised in my relationships. Sooner or later, you'll have to deal with your self-concept, because you'll just end up going through the same shit with a different SP. There is no running away from this, moving on to someone new is not going to magically make it all better, moving on to a new way of thinking is what will help.

3. The past is not even real. The past feels real and exists because we experienced it once and we have emotions attached to it, but after it has 'happened' in the 3D, it only exists in your memories- aka your IMAGINATION. If you want to keep living in the reality where this stuff has happened to you and you keep feeling the ripple effects of this event, then go on and keep feeding that memory energy by thinking about it and giving it life, but if you make the decision to revise it or just completely abandon the notion that this bad thing has happened to you and you move forward with new beliefs and change your thinking for the better, you can literally change the past and how you feel as a result. Think of life as a choose your own adventure novel, however literally EVERY POSSIBILITY YOU CAN IMAGINE EXISTS! You can select any reality you want and if you really want it, you should put in the work, and then it will manifest. This means that there is a reality where this past event did not even happen, this is how people can change their appearance and health, and this is how people can recover a relationship from past 'cheating' instances, by not giving any power to the past and choosing the reality where this has never happened to them and never could because they are the prize!

4. When you are manifesting an SP, you obviously affirm for yourself and your self-concept and you begin to change into a more confident and powerful version of yourself, yes? When this happens, you take the SP off the pedestal and put yourself on it, which actually in some cases can result in you losing attachment to your SP and deciding to go for someone/something new. So some people do end up moving on to a new person, but only because they might feel liberated by losing emotional attachment to their person. It is ultimately a personal choice if people decide to continue with their SP or move on, but there is no right or wrong here. There is nothing wrong with you staying with the same person or choosing someone new. It's your reality and you have the power and you have the right to decide for yourself.

You can advise people to move on with the best intentions, but nothing you say or do is really going to change the fact that people still have feelings for an SP and want to fix their circumstances with them. Ultimately, people want what they want, and if they still have feelings for their SP and want to be with a better version of them, despite their 'past actions', they have the right to do it, because it is THEIR reality. If you really think its best for people to just move on, then you should know that if they choose to go down the path of consciously manifesting a better version of their SP back, they ARE moving on to someone new - and lucky them, because they get the specific person that they love, and they get to experience them in an incredible, healthy and loving way! <3

You do you - and if you believe for yourself that it's better to move on to a completely new person, that's absolutely fine and you should do that for yourself if you're ever faced with the situation because that's what will be true in your reality. It is your reality after all and you make the rules, but when it comes to other people manifesting a specific person for themselves, they have the choice and they have the right to decide what's best for them, no one else. <3