#but i won't because id be here forever

[rexcanttietheirshoesright]

Zelda!!

This poor girl I love her so much and I wish her all the best with her knight

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

When Their GF Is Followed Home

Pairing : ot8 (separately) x f!reader TW : reader getting followed ; reader panicking ; honestly it's fluffy ; major anxiety though ; might be anxiety inducing or triggering ; Word Count : Bangchan (745) ; Minho (847) ; Changbin (747) ; Hyunjin (1370) ; Jisung (1396) ; Felix (1114) ; Seungmin (1564) ; Jeongin (1645) -TOTAL : 9.4k AN : this is entirely self indulgent and I will write my requests, this is kind of a coping mechanism for me. Thank you for being patient with me and for everyone who commented on my post about what had happened and I really do appreciate and love all of you. I won't tag my perm. tag list in this one because it isn't really a request or anything, it's just for me, but I'm gonna post it here just in case anyone else needs it or wants to read it.

You should have been home 5 minutes ago, he knew exactly the amount of time it took for you to get from your job to the house, and even if traffic was bad, it would only tack on an extra 3 or 4 minutes. It’s been 20 minutes since you told him you got out of work, and now he was starting to worry. Did you have to stay late? It wasn’t unlikely, but you’d usually tell him these things so he wouldn’t wait up for you at night. 

His phone started vibrating, and when he saw your name as the caller ID, he let out a little sigh of relief… Until he answered and he heard the sound of the car running, which wasn’t what he was used to considering you were a strict advocate of not using your phone while driving at all. Then he heard your heavy breaths and your sniffling. You were crying. “Channie…” You whispered, the sound of his name shaky when it left your lips. “I’m being followed… I don’t know what to do…” 

The panic that he initially felt came back tenfold, he felt like he couldn’t breathe, and the worst part was that there was nothing he could do. It’s not like he’d tell you to stop the car so he could get to you, he didn’t know what the person following you was capable of or even what they planned on doing. “Call the cops… Okay? Call the cops and go back to your work. Stay in your car… Lock the doors and keep the windows up.” 

You gasped before he heard the loud sob, he was terrified just hearing about it, he couldn’t even begin to imagine how you felt right now. “O-Okay… Bye… I… I love you…” You stammered, and the way you said it only had him freaking out even more. It sounded like you were saying goodbye to him, not like you normally would, but like a final goodbye. 

He knew where you were going, and he couldn’t, he just couldn’t sit at home and wait. He needed to know right then that you were okay, so he grabbed his keys, not even bothering to change into his shoes, running straight out the door and climbing in his car, racing towards your work. His own hands were shaking as his fingers wrapped around the steering wheel, his entire body was trembling as his head filled with the worst thoughts of what could have happened to you. 

The ride to your work was actually quite short, just a couple blocks, but right now it felt like it took forever to get there, but once he was finally in the parking lot, he could see that you were parked right out front. He pulled his car around to park behind you, quickly climbing out to run over to yours. 

It was heartbreaking to see the way you jumped when he got up to the window, the way your body was still shaking and your one hand still wrapped around the wheel in a vice grip as if you were ready to speed off if that person did come back. Once you realized it was him though, you rolled your window down, and then he really saw you. 

Your eyes were bloodshot and you were practically hyperventilating. “I-It’s my b-boyfriend…” You said to whoever it was on the phone, and when he glanced at it, he could see that you were still on the phone with the police. “I’ll hang up now… Thank you…” You whispered before ending the call and then looking up at him with the glassiest eyes, the saddest eyes, and all he wanted to do was hold you, to tell you that everything would be okay. “An officer is… on the way… right now…” 

“I’ll stay here with you, I’m not leaving you.” He assured you, grabbing your hand through the window and leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t help… I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I promise I won’t let anything like that happen ever again.” And now he was crying, you both were crying as you sat in the parking lot, but that promise that he made was one that he’d stick to and keep forever. You were the most precious thing in his life and he’d make sure that you never have to go through something like that ever again.

It was a late night in the practice room, another comeback and he wanted this one to be just as powerful as the last so he was practicing his dances as much as he could. He was taking a small break, resting against the mirrored walls of the room when his phone started vibrating on the floor beside him, the sight of your name and picture on his screen had all of his exhaustion washing away and a smile spreading across his face. 

“You know I love you… Right…?” Was the first thing you said as soon as he answered the phone, and the question alone had his heart sinking, but the way you said it, the way you sounded, he knew that something was wrong. “I’m headed back up to my work right now… I just wanted you to know that I love you so much… Give the cats kisses for me. I gotta go though… I’ll text you when I can…” 

The call ended before he was even able to say anything, but it was all so cryptic, it scared the hell out of him. Whatever was happening, he could tell that you were beyond scared, and for some reason you were saying your final goodbyes, and that had him pushing himself up off the floor and rushing out of the practice room and down the hall to the elevators. 

He was pissed at himself for staying at work so late, the building was on the complete opposite side of town, there was no way in hell he was going to make it to you. He didn’t know what the hell was going on, and all of the texts that he was sending didn’t seem to be going through because you weren’t answering any of them. He felt physically sick, like the entire room was spinning and his knees felt weak and he couldn’t breathe and he really just wanted to hear from you, to know that you were okay. 

“You shouldn’t be on your phone while you’re driving, you could cause an accident, Min.” He remembered the way you’d scold him from the passenger seat if he even reached for his phone while his car was in motion. That little memory only scared him more because he heard the sound of your engine running in the background of the call, you were on your phone while you were driving… Or maybe… Maybe you weren’t driving… Maybe it was someone else… His stomach sank deeper at the thought. There had been so many stories coming out recently about things that happened to unsuspecting people… You were so nice, so naive… He needed you to answer him, he needed you to text him back. 

20 minutes had passed since the initial phone call, he had sent you so many texts, and you finally answered him. “Heading home now… I’m sorry.” He was standing at the front door, waiting for your car to pull up, and when it did, there was an officer driving behind you. His heart was racing as he ran out of the house barefoot, not even caring as he ran out into the street to pull open your door, sighing heavily when he saw you sitting there. “What happened…?” He whispered, his hands landing on your shoulders as you climbed out of the car, and he couldn’t not notice how puffy and red your eyes were, but instead of answering, you fell against his chest, your arms wrapping tightly around him. 

The officer had to take some information, and once Minho had thanked him for escorting you home, he walked you into the house, pulling you down on the couch beside him. You told him what had happened, and he went through an array of emotions. Anger, sadness, panic, but most of all, he felt downright awful. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that’s what was happening?” He questioned as you laid against his chest, your fingers gripping tightly onto his shirt as your body continued to tremble. The fear that you had felt still hadn’t left, and he was sure it would be there for a while, and rightfully so. 

“Because I didn’t want you to get hurt trying to race to my job… I know how you are. I just wanted you to know that I love you…” You whispered back, your voice cracking as you started to cry once again. “I know that you love me, and I love you too, so much. I’m gonna drive you to and from work now… I can’t have anything happening to you… I’ve never been so scared in my life.” He murmured, his hand running soothingly up and down your back. Now that he knew you were safe, that fear and desperation that he had felt subsided but quickly turned to anger. He wanted nothing more than to hunt this guy down, to find out who it was and make him feel the same way you felt. You’re his everything, and he was going to do right by you no matter what it takes.

He was in the studio with Chan and Jisung, his phone muted so as to not ruin the recording process. Maybe he had just become complacent in the fact that nothing had ever happened before when you were on your way home, but he never felt the need to have his phone turned on when you were at work or while he was at the studio and you knew that. You’d text him at some point if you had the chance and vice versa, but you both knew that once the two of you were home you’d have so much to talk about it would keep you up for hours. 

“I’m gonna head out now, Y/N should be home by now.” Changbin said, getting up from his chair and stretching his arms above his head. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” He was always the first to come in and get things started so that he could be the first to leave, not wanting you to be at home alone for too long. 

On his venture to the elevator, he finally pulled out his phone, noticing that his lockscreen was filled with missed calls from you from over an hour ago, and then a text from you from 25 minutes ago. You would never call him that much when he was in the studio… Unless there was an emergency… But there were never any emergencies. You worked right down the street from the house, what could possibly happen in that short amount of time? Unless there was an emergency in your job and you were trying to call him. 

Before even checking the text, he called you back, opting to take the stairs just to get out of the building faster as he held his phone up to his ear, waiting to hear your voice. “Binnie… I’m sorry I called so much… I’m okay now.” You whispered into your phone, and there was nothing truly relieving about what you said. You being okay now meant that you hadn’t been okay before and he wasn’t there to help you or even answer your calls when you needed him to. 

“What happened?” He urged, pushing through the exit door on the side of the building and coming out into the parking lot, slightly breathless from the amount of stairs he had just sprinted down in a matter of minutes. “Did you get hurt? Are you home? Where are you right now?” He needed more answers, but all he could hear were your shaky breaths over the line. “Baby… Talk to me, please.” 

He was getting more panicked the longer you stayed silent, and he could hear you softly sniffling as if you were crying. “I’m home… Not hurt… An officer escorted me home. I’ll tell you about it when you get in… Okay? I don’t want to talk about it when I’m by myself…” 

When he finally made it home and came through the door you were waiting for him right beside it, your cheeks stained with tear streaks, and you crashed into him as your body shook with uncontrollable sobs. “Shh… It’s okay… I’m here now…” He cooed, rubbing his hand soothingly over your back, although he still wasn’t sure what had truly happened, it must have been awful for you to be like this. “Tell me what happened…” 

As he sat and listened to you, all he could imagine was how scared you must have been. You were still shaking and you were already home, it must have been downright terrifying to be going through it at that moment. He wanted to know everything about what you possibly could have seen, what was the make of the car, what did the driver look like… He wanted to know every single detail. “Don’t try to find him… It’s not worth it…” You said shakily, holding tightly onto his hand. “It’s over now…” 

But it wasn’t over… Because you hadn’t seen the plate numbers, and all you could go off of was a vehicle description, and whoever this guy was… He was still out there. He could do it to someone else, he could come back and do it to you again… Changbin didn’t want to take those chances. For now though, he agreed, because he wanted to take care of you and make sure you were alright and make sure you felt safe. One thing he was certain about though… He’d never put his phone on silent again.

“I’m in my car now, I’ll text you when I get in the house. I love you!” The text came in and Hyunjin read it quickly, smiling to himself as he sank deeper into the couch at the dorms. You hadn’t been together very long, at least not long enough to take that step to moving in together, but he liked to know exactly when you got off work and exactly when you made it home. The second text that he had gotten used to, that he had timed almost perfectly to come in at least 7 to 10 minutes after the first text meant that you were safe and he’d finally be able to call you on the phone and hear your voice. 

When it went past 15 minutes and that second text didn’t come in, his initial thought was that you had just forgotten. Maybe work was just really tiring today and you ended up laying on the couch and passing out… But that didn’t make sense either… You’ve had days like that before and you still texted him to let him know you made it home safe… You just weren’t able to call him because you had gone straight to bed right after. 

“Hey honey… Did you make it home? Text me as soon as you can… I’m getting worried.” He quickly typed out the message, dropping his phone onto his lap as he nervously watched his screen. There were some nights that you’d stop at the store or the gas station on your way home, but even then, you’d text him beforehand that you planned on going there before going home, and then you’d text him when you made it to whatever destination you were headed to. 

After 5 minutes of you still not responding he couldn’t take it anymore, dialing your number quickly and heading to the front door. You had never gone this long without answering him, and you certainly wouldn’t have ignored a phone call from him. He even had his own special ringtone in your phone so you’d know it was him. Something must have happened, and his mind immediately jumped to the worst. 

“What’s going on?” Chan asked as he turned the corner from the kitchen, watching Hyunjin pull on his shoes. “You’re heading out?” Hyunjin never left this late at night, he’d usually already be in his room talking on the phone with you, his giddy voice heard through the walls, giving Jisung and Changbin perfect ammunition to tease him with the next morning. 

“Y/N hasn’t texted me to let me know she made it home… She didn’t answer my text or my call…” Hyunjin said, frantically looking around the room as if he was missing something, but it was just his phone which was still in his hand. He felt like a chicken running around with his head cut off, but the panic seemed reasonable at this point. “Can you drive me to her place?” Hyunjin asked, his eyes silently pleading with his hyung to say yes. 

“I’m sure she’s fine. She’s probably just stuck in-” 

“No! She lives in a residential area… Her work is only a couple blocks away… She doesn’t have to go through traffic! Something happened!” Hyunjin shrieked, running his hands through his hair. “Look, if you’re not going to take me to her house, fine… I’ll catch a cab or something. But I need to be there. I need to make sure she’s alright.” 

So Chan relented, grabbing his keys off the hook and following Hyunjin out the door, trying his best to keep up with the younger guy who seemed to be racing against time as he ran down the hall to the stairs. 

In Hyunjins hurry to leave the dorms, he had forgotten to grab the key you had given him to get into your house, but he knew you weren’t home yet. The lights weren’t shining through the blinds in the window, there were no lights on at all. Your dog was still barking at the front door as he and Chan sat on your front porch. But what really gave away that you weren’t home was the fact that your car wasn’t parked out front. 

Every single set of headlights that came around the bend had Hyunjin standing up, checking to see if it were you only to dejectedly sit back down as the car sped past. You still hadn’t texted him back and his heart continued to sink deeper and deeper into the pit of his stomach the longer the silence lasted. 

Two sets of headlights came around, both of them lighting up the street, and this time Hyunjin didn’t even bother to stand up, his head dropping back down to stare at his phone screen as he expected them to drive right by like the other cars did… Until the car in front parked right in front of your house, and he realized that the car that had been driving behind was a cop car. 

He pushed himself up off the stairs, tripping over his feet as he ran down to meet you outside of your car, practically pulling you out of it once your seatbelt was unlatched. “Oh my baby… What happened?!” He cried, his eyes already welling up as he looked you over, checking for any sign of injury or harm, but all he could see was that you had been crying, you were still crying. “Baby…?” His voice lowered a little more as he looked at you with worry filled eyes, his bottom lip jutting out. 

“I am going to need some information. Your license and your phone number.” The cop said, and Hyunjins eyes widened. Did you get into an accident? Your car didn’t look damaged or dented, and you’d have surely called him if something like that did happen. He watched as you handed over your license to the officer, your hands trembling and your breaths shallow and uneven. “If something like that ever happens again, if you see that car or the driver, just call that number…” The officer handed you a tiny white card and gave you a sympathetic smile. “You’re okay, everything is gonna be okay.” 

He was more confused than ever now as he watched the officer climb back in his car, but he didn’t take the time to watch him drive away, quickly grabbing your bag and then leading you up to your house. “I’m sorry… Sorry for worrying you…” You croaked out as you kicked your shoes off and dropped down onto the couch, fresh tears spilling down your cheeks. 

“No… Don’t apologize…” Hyunjin squatted down in front of you, grabbing both of your hands and giving them a light squeeze. “The cop followed you home… What happened? Why?” He questioned, kissing the back of your hands before cupping your cheeks, brushing away your tears with his thumbs. 

“I was… followed home… I had to go all the way around… And they kept following me. They blinded me with their high beams and… I called the cops. I didn’t know what to do… I drove back up to work…” You explained, your breaths coming out more heavy, your words broken up by loud sobs as your head fell forward. “I was so scared, Hyunjin…” 

He didn’t say anything, instead he scurried up onto the couch, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you onto his lap, his hand moving up to the back of your head to bury your face in the crook of his neck. Hot tears fell against his skin as he rocked you, whispering I love you’s as he held you close against him. 

There wasn’t much he could do, it had already happened, it’s not like he would have been able to stop it. Now all he could do was try to fight that fear, to make you feel safe again. It wouldn’t be easy, but nothing worth fighting for was ever easy. “I’m moving in… I don’t want you to be alone. Text me when you get off work and I’ll get a ride down there just so I can ride with you back home. This’ll never happen again, I swear.”

The problem with being out of the country for tours was the fact that he couldn’t bring you with him. Not only was it protocol from his staff members and management themselves, but your work didn’t really allow you that much time off. Whenever he was away, the two of you depended on texts, calls, and video chats to talk to each other, and with him being so far away, he liked to know everything. He wanted minute by minute updates on how your day was going and whether you made it to and from work safely. The guys would always tease him and say he’s being a little redundant, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to make sure the person you love is okay. 

Your work schedule was never consistent either, which sometimes made it hard for Jisung to relax. Sometimes you’d get off work at 8pm, and other times you wouldn’t even be leaving the building until 11pm. It just depended on how much you had to do, and that would leave him restless, waiting for your text to come in to let him know you were on your way home. 

Tonight seemed to be a late night, and even though he wasn’t back at the house waiting for you, he couldn’t help but anxiously look over at his phone every couple seconds to see if your text had come in. He was about to start a live stream, it was already 10:40pm where you were, and there hadn’t been a single text yet, so he decided to text you. 

“Hey pookie bear, I’m about to start the live. You can still text me to let me know when you get off and please let me know when you get home. I love you so so so much!! I can’t wait to be back home with you!” He quickly sent the text before setting his phone down to the side to start the stream, trying his best to shake the nerves so he could turn on the camera. 

15 minutes into the stream his phone started vibrating. It wasn’t a text, it was a phone call coming in, and one glance over had him reading your name. Maybe you hadn’t read his text, but you usually didn’t call him during a stream, and you rarely ever called him when you were on your way home, and he still hadn’t texted him… Something must be wrong. He looked to the staff member who seemed just as confused on what to do, but he decided to answer it anyway. He wasn’t going to just let it go to voicemail. 

“Sungie… Baby…” Your voice came through softly, slightly muffled by the sound of the car engine humming in the background. “I love you so much… You mean the world to me, and you’re so special, you’re so amazing at everything you do… And I’m just… I’m so lucky that you’re my boyfriend, and I really wish I could spend the rest of my life with you… I just wanted you to know that. I have to go now though… I’ll text you if I can… Love you…” 

Now, Jisung was rarely ever stunned into silence, but this call had him staring blankly at the staff behind the camera who hadn’t heard anything. The call ended so quickly, but you were clearly panicking, you were crying, and he had never felt so hopeless in his life. He was thousands of miles away, and now you weren’t answering any of his calls. “The fans are wondering where you went…” The staff member said, but how was he supposed to worry about the fans when you were clearly in trouble, or hurt, or both. 

“I don’t know if I can… I…” Jisung stammered, running his hands over his face, feeling his palms get dampened with the tears that had started to fall. “Y/N is in trouble and I really need to try to get a hold of her… I can’t get back on like this… I’m scared.” He explained, but the staff member rolled his eyes, coming over with a box of tissues and setting it down in front of Jisung before flicking back on the camera. 

He didn’t have a choice it felt, but once the camera was off and the stream was over, he’d be having a long talk with the managers about the staff member who clearly wasn’t concerned with anything but himself. For the time being, he pretended to read comments off his phone as he stared at the text screen, waiting for you to say something, anything, to let him know that you were okay. 

It felt like forever, but in actuality, it was only another 10 minutes before another one of your texts came in. “I’m home now… A cop followed me home to make sure I’d be okay. I don’t want to worry you, it’s over with now, but I know that you’ll still ask, but I was followed home… I’ll explain everything when I get the chance to, but right now I just want to take a shower and go to bed. I love you… I can’t wait to see you either.” 

The text wasn’t in any way helpful, it actually made him feel nauseous, knowing that he wasn’t there when you had clearly been through something so traumatic that it made you feel like you had to call him just to say goodbye. The stream was still going, but he couldn’t be bothered to focus on it anymore, his attention solely on his phone screen as he continued to read and reread the message. He couldn’t keep up the act though, and once he had fully processed what he read, he looked to the camera. “I have to go now, there’s an emergency. I’m sorry… Please be safe, STAY. I love all of you.” 

As soon as the camera was off and the live stream ended, the staff member was pissed, but Jisung was just as angry. He was angry at himself, angry at the guy who was now coming closer to grab the laptop who had selfishly forced him to continue to live stream. “This is ridiculous. I’m sure the managers are gonna be real happy, especially ending a stream like that. I can only imagine the rumors that’ll come up.” 

Jisung didn’t care about any of that though, all he cared about was you. He pushed himself up out of the chair and headed to his hotel room door, pulling it open and motioning for the staff member to leave. “There is an emergency, and my girlfriend being terrified after being followed home when she was leaving work isn’t ridiculous. She’s terrified and I’m not there to physically comfort her and the last thing I want to do is a fucking live stream pretending that everything is all sunshine and rainbows. So get out, I have to call her.” 

Since you were okay, Jisung couldn’t exactly use your fear as a reason to leave the tour early, much to his disappointment. He wanted you to come out to be with him though, even if only for a couple days to help get your mind off of what had happened, but of course, you were still needed at work and your job really didn’t care that you had gone through something like that… Which again, made Jisung hate your job more than he already did. 

The distance seemed to feel so much further after what happened though, and there was nothing that would make him fully relax until he got home. For now though, you both agreed to stay on the phone with one another whenever you were driving, even if he was on a stream or in the middle of a concert, he’d stop everything he was doing to make sure you made it work and back home safe without something like this happening for a second time, and that agreement carried on even when he got home from tour… And now when you got home and he was there, he’d be waiting for you at the front door with open arms. That fear wouldn’t just stick with you, but it stuck with him too… The fear of losing you, of not knowing what to do… He never wanted either of you to feel that way again.

Your schedule was erratic to say the least, there was never a set time to you getting off, and Felix, being the sunshine that he is, trusted that you’d get home safe without any problems every single night that you did work. That’s why he didn’t expect you to call him or text him, he just believed that everything would be fine, and when you did get home, you’d let him know all about your day as he sat beside you on the couch. 

Tonight was no different, other than the fact that he was staying at the dorms because he had to head out early for a music video shoot the very next morning. You knew about this, and while you both hated being away from each other, you understood that his work was demanding, and sometimes it demanded that he be away from you for long periods of time. Instead of talking about your days in person tonight, you both had agreed on video calling each other, which was something that he was excitedly awaiting. 

When his phone started to buzz, he jumped off the couch and ran to his bedroom, shutting the door and locking it before answering and flopping down on his bed, a smile spread across his face as he waited to hear your usually cheerful greeting. “Felix…” You gasped out his name, and the happiness that he had expected to hear wasn’t there at all. He immediately went into panic mode, sitting upright on his bed and holding his phone closer to his ear. “I…I’m being followed, I don’t know what to do… I already drove past the house and… They’re still following me. They almost drove right into me… Felix I’m scared… What do I do?” 

You were audibly crying which had his own tears on the brink of falling over the edge, his fingers gripping the sheets tightly as his leg bounced over the side of the bed. “Hang up, angel… Call the police. You have to call the cops, right now… Okay?” He urged, or, moreso, demanded you to do. He hated the fact that he told you to hang up, but he knew that there was nothing he could do from where he was at right now. 

“Y-Yeah… Okay… I love you.” Was how the call ended, not even having the opportunity to say it back. He couldn’t sit still, adrenaline was coursing through his veins, and he wanted to go to you, he wanted to go to your apartment and wait for you there just to know that you made it home safe. The worst part was that he didn’t even know where you were going right now, he should have asked, but he didn’t want to waste anymore time which was essential to you and your safety at that moment. 

He couldn’t even stand to be cramped in his room that felt a little bit too small right now, walking out into the main room where the guys were sitting, and as if his emotions were like a cloud that had hit all of them at once, their heads lifted to look at him, questioning the tension that was radiating off of him in waves. “Y/N is being followed… Fuck! I don’t even know where she’s at right now… And she’s on the phone with the cops… I can’t call her…” He ranted, his hands running anxiously through his hair. 

“Do you want to drive out there to her apartment to make sure she makes it home? I can drive you there.” Minho offered, and Felix looked around the room once before nodding his head in agreement, shuffling over to the door and pulling on the first pair of shoes he could find. “I’m sure she’ll be okay. She’s a smart girl, she probably went back to her work.” His hyung tried his best to instill comforting thoughts, but Felix couldn’t stop thinking the worst. 

“Why would anyone follow her? Why would someone try to scare her like that? They could have caused her to get in an accident! What if they were trying to hurt her?!” Felix continued to ramble, and there was truly nothing that anyone could say to get him to think otherwise, not until he saw you again and made sure that you were truly okay. 

Just as Minho pulled up outside the apartment building, you were pulling into your parking spot, followed by an officer who parked a little further away. You seemed to be in a daze when you climbed out of the car, not even noticing that Felix and Minho were right there. Your keys jingled at your side from how much you were shaking, and he hated seeing you this way. He hated to know that someone, some stranger, had caused you to get like this. 

“Angel…” Felix blurted out, causing you to jump and drop your keys, which he rushed over to pick up off the ground before you could even begin to bend over to grab them. “You’re alright?” He questioned, holding you at arms length to check you over, and once he saw that you were okay, other than the crying, he pulled you against his chest. “You’re alright. You’re safe now…” He cooed, not even wanting to let you go for a minute to get out of the street and walk you into the apartment. 

“It was awful… I’ve never been more scared… My hands were shaking… I never use my phone while I’m driving… I couldn’t even focus… I thought I’d crash…” You choked out, your face still buried in his shirt as he continued to pet his hand over your hair. “He… He flashed his headlights at me… And I wasn’t going to stop… I just kept going… And I was scared my gas would run out and…” 

Felix shushed you, not wanting you to continue reliving those moments, at least not right now. You were safe with him, you were okay, although the mention of the headlights had him remembering a news report he had seen a while back about what that sometimes meant and it made him sick to his stomach. “You’re such a smart girl, angel… You did great. I’m gonna stay with you tonight, and all day tomorrow. I’ll head to the set the next day. I’m gonna get you one of those dash cameras… I gotta make sure my angel is safe, always.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead, giving you a soft sympathetic smile. “Let’s get inside, get you something to drink, and then we can lay down and cuddle for the rest of the night… How does that sound?”

“What time do you think you’re getting off tonight?” Seungmin asked from the back room, the stylist working around his phone that he had held up to his ear. Hearing your voice always helped calm his nerves before he did an interview, although he’d never tell anyone else that. 

“Not sure… It’s a late night tonight. I’ve got a bunch of stuff to do when I finish actually working.” You answered dejectedly. Seungmin hated how much your job seemed to overwork you, and it wasn’t just that, but they didn’t even show any sort of appreciation for the things that you did. There was no raise in your near future, although Seungmin would always be the first one demanding that you get one whenever you brought it up. No one even thanked you, it’s like they simply expected it of you, which pissed him off. 

“You know that I’d take care of you. You don’t have to stay there.” He reminded you, and he heard your tired chuckle, one that usually meant that you wanted to take him up on the offer, but you couldn’t take him up on the offer either, and that’s why he never pushed the issue any further. “I’m doing an interview, but you know the number for the staff if there’s an emergency, right?” You hummed in agreement, and he sighed quietly. “Text me as soon as you get off work and as soon as you get through the front door. Okay?” 

“Alright. I love you.” You whispered, and you couldn’t see it, but his cheeks raised and turned a light shade of pink, his heart fluttering at those three words. You were the only person that could ever make him get like this. “I gotta get back to work. I can’t wait to hear about the interview tonight.” 

“Mm… I’ll tell you all about it. Don’t overwork yourself… And don’t play your music too loud in the car, you won’t be able to hear anything.” He preemptively scolded you, and he knew that you were rolling your eyes, but you always played your music a little bit too loud… Something that worried him when he knew you were driving home alone at night. He wished that he could be there waiting for you when you got home, but he’d be there soon enough, and that’s what was going to get him through the interview. 

About 30 minutes into the interview, Seungmin saw one of the staff members bring their phone up to their ear, their mouths immediately falling as they listened to whatever it was that was going on. Seungmin was observant, but he wouldn’t have thought anything of it if the member didn’t make direct eye contact with him before walking further away from the interview set. 

None of the other guys seemed to notice, and neither did the interviewer, they were all still talking and goofing off, making it harder for Seungmin to even try to hear what was being said. “I’m not feeling too well, can I have a minute?” He said, still staring at the staff member who seemed to be on the phone still. The guys all turned to look at him, but he didn’t have time to answer their questions, not when he had his own that he needed answers to. 

By the time he got up and made his way over to the staff member, the call seemed to be over, but the girl who had answered the call seemed to still be a little shaken up. Whatever it was, it must be bad. Once she noticed he was standing there, her head was already shaking, her mouth opening and closing as if she didn’t know what to say, which only annoyed Seungmin. If it was serious, he wanted to know right now. “She called… Y/N called… She was crying and panicking and… She said she was being followed and… She said she’s on her way back to her work now and she’s calling the police… I told her to call them…” 

Seungmins mind was immediately going through different scenarios, a multitude of different reasons for something like this to be happening. He was trying to be as rational as possible, which was quite hard to do when the worry was setting in and he felt absolutely helpless as your boyfriend. “Good… Good… That’s good…” He rambled, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried to think of what to do. “Let them know that I need to go… I need to get up to her work right now…” 

There was only a short list of people that would follow you and have you panicking so badly. It was either a crazed fan that wanted to get to Seungmin or wanted to hurt you for being with him, or some absolute psychotic stranger. Crazily enough, it would be better if it were a fan honestly, at least Seungmin would know the motive and knew that most of them were hopefully not dumb enough to do something crazy in a public space such as your work. If it were a stranger… He didn’t know what they were capable of, and that scared the hell out of him. 

It felt like he was racing against time, and in that race, the staff member that was driving seemed to catch every single red light. It was aggravating, it was infuriating, and what was worse was the fact that you still hadn’t answered any of his texts which he had been sending out every five seconds, and the only reason it was taking that long was because he needed to type them out. 

By the time he got to your work, the cop was just pulling up. You had been sitting out in your car in front of the store for that long just waiting for an officer, and that too bothered him to no end. What if something bad had happened? Why didn’t the officer come quicker? He didn’t even wait for the car to come to a complete stop before jumping out and running over to your passenger door and knocking on the window. 

“Excuse me!” The officer shouted, rushing over to Seungmin, but you quickly rolled down the window, exclaiming that he was your boyfriend and unlocking the door so he could climb in. Of course, the officer needed to take down some information which seemed to take even longer when all Seungmin wanted to do was get back to the house with you and comfort you. 

“I didn’t want to ruin the interview…” You murmured as you put the car in drive, slowly taking off and heading back down the street. “I didn’t think they’d tell you… I’m sorry for making you leave.” If you weren’t driving, Seungmin would have kissed you to get you to stop thinking that way. An interview definitely wasn’t more important than your safety. “Are the guys mad?” 

Seungmin sighed, his head leaning back against the headrest but turned in your direction so he could look at you. Your knuckles had turned pale from how tight you were gripping the steering wheel, and your body was still shaking. You shouldn’t be driving like this. “This would be quite a stupid thing to get mad about, wouldn’t it? If you need me, I’m always going to run to you, before anything else. You’re my priority first and foremost.” He explained, and you nodded your head slowly, shakily sniffling as your bottom lip began to tremble. “I love you… That’s why I ran to you. She didn’t even have to tell me what was going on… As soon as she looked at me and I saw that look on her face, I asked her what happened. I’m so sorry you had to go through that by yourself… But never again…” 

You shook your head, your face scrunching up as you gasped sharply. “I still have to drive at night to get home from work. I… I don’t know if I can… Just the thought of it…” Your head dropped as you came to a stop sign, your hands quickly wiping the tears from your cheeks, and he wished he could have done it for you. “I’ve never… I don’t ever… God… Seungmin I’m so scared… What if they do it again?” If it were to happen again, if the same person were to come after you… Seungmin wouldn’t hold back. They were messing with the most precious thing in his life, and the fact that they had gotten away with it now, they should count themselves lucky. But Seungmin wouldn’t allow it to happen again, he wouldn’t allow you to be put in a situation where it could happen again. “I know you, for some reason, feel like you need to stay at your job. I’m not going to take that away from you… But I don’t want you driving at night by yourself again… Ever again. I’ll have one of the staff members come pick you up. Or I’ll have them drop me off so that I can ride with you. Either way… If you truly want to keep working there on that shift… You’re not driving alone at night anymore. I love you, and I don’t think I’d be able to live if anything ever happened to you. I’m going to make sure you’re safe. Always.”

He was performing tonight on Music Bank, and you had told him that you’d try to make it home in time to catch his performance. Of course, he told you it would be okay if you didn’t, and that he didn’t want you rushing to get done and potentially getting hurt trying to get home too fast. He already had your TV set up to record their episode just in case you weren’t home in time to see it. 

Your break managed to come at just the time that he was getting done up by his stylist, sending you silly little selfies to try to make you feel better after you had told him about how awful and busy your day had been. “I’m hoping I’ll be done soon, and then I can get home and change into my pajamas before the show starts.” 

Even though it made him beyond happy to know that you so eagerly wanted to see him perform, he wanted you to be safe, and he appreciated you regardless of whether you caught the show or not, just the fact that you wanted to rush so you could catch it was enough for him. “You have time… So please, take it. You won’t miss anything anyway, you’ve already seen us perform it multiple times in the practice room.” 

He could sense your eye roll just from staring at his phone screen, the way his message was left on read a couple seconds before the three dots appeared to show you were typing back. “Yeaaaah…. But I still want to watch it. I’m ending my break early just so I can get done faster. I love youuuuu. Hugs and kisses mwah mwah!!” 

How could you be so cute even over text? God, he loved you, and now it only made him worry more about how fast you’d be driving to try to get back home. He quickly typed out his last response. “Please drive the speed limit. I love you most. Seriously… Be safe.” 

15 minutes before the show was about to start, he got another text, and he quickly grabbed his phone from off the vanity table, his heart swelling when he read your message. “I’m fast as fuck baybeeee!!! I’m gonna make it home in time to see your performance. I might not catch the interview before hand though :(“ 

He chuckled to himself, hiding his phone from the guys as he texted you back. “That’s alright, but now that I know you’ll be watching, I’ll do so much better. Get home safe baybeeee! I love you a bunch!” He never thought he’d be this sappy, but with you, it didn’t even make him cringe. He just loved you so damn much, it was like you alone were making his earth spin. 

It didn’t take you that long to get home, he knew the drive from your work to your house by heart, and he was sure that you’d be able to make it home just by the end of the interview. His mind was soaring, thinking of ways that he could do facial expressions or certain moves just for you, things that only you would recognize that you’d know were for you only. It was one of his favorite things to do, giving you something to look for while he was dancing, and then coming home to hear from you if you actually caught it. 

As he stepped out on stage, he found his camera and smiled at it, giving a small wave to the lens before getting into place. This performance would be for you, entirely for you. He couldn’t wait for you to see it. 

He was sweaty, breathless, but excited as he rushed back off to the dressing room, grabbing his phone off the vanity and getting even more giddy when he saw the missed phone call and voicemail from you. It was probably you telling him just how amazing he was and that you had caught the little hand sign and wink that he had done for you. 

Dropping down into his seat, he played the voicemail, full volume because honestly, he didn’t care if the guys heard. You’d probably be complimenting all of them as well in the message. “Jeongin!” Your voice sounded through his speakers, and he wasn’t used to you saying his name like that, especially with that tone, and he immediately perked up in his seat. The sound of your voice had already gotten the attention of the other guys in the room and they had all begun to crowd around Jeongins chair as they listened with him. “Fuck… Fuck fuck… What do you want?!” You whimpered, the sound of your obvious crying and clear panic had Jeongin on edge, his eyes widening as he looked up at Chan. “I love you… And I’m really sorry I didn’t get to catch your performance but I know you and the guys did amazing. Uhm… Shit… Okay… I’m being followed and… And I have to go but… I just wanted you to know that I love you, okay? Don’t forget that.” The kissy sound at the end of the call wasn’t how Jeongin remembered it sounding, but he couldn’t even focus entirely on that. 

You were being followed, and instead of calling the cops first, you called him. Why would you call him? How bad was it? The call came in almost 10 minutes ago. “Call her… See if she answers.” Chan urged, but Jeongin couldn’t seem to get his fingers to move, he couldn’t even seem to breathe evenly as his mind went into a frenzy. “Someone call her! Minho, Changbin, you get him to Y/N’s apartment, someone go find one of the security and go see if they can find out where she is.” 

Minho was on the phone in seconds, dialing your number as he and Changbin ushered a seemingly shellshocked Jeongin out of the room. He was shaking, his phone still tightly gripped in his hand as he robotically followed behind the guys. “Everything is gonna be okay. I’m like… 99% sure she’s okay.” Changbin said, patting Jeongins back as he climbed into the back seat of Changbins car. 

“What about the other 1%?” Jeongin whispered anxiously from the back as Changbin climbed into the car. The two older guys both turned to look at Jeongin, confused about the question, but his hand slapped against the seat beside him. “What about the 1%?! You said you were 99% sure that she’s okay… So what about the other 1%?!” 

Changbin took a deep breath, looking to Minho who only shook his head as he continued trying to call your phone that was going to voicemail as well. “Don’t think about the other 1%. She’s fine. Okay?” 

Jeongin was completely zoned out the entire ride to your house, unable to think of anything except your voicemail. He had never heard you sound so scared and that fear was contagious, he was terrified for you, with you. He didn’t even realize how long Changbin had been driving until the car came to a stop, and he finally looked out the window to see that it was parked right outside of your house. 

The light from the TV was flickering through the blinds, and without a word or a look back, he climbed out of the car and ran to your door, his fist coming down harshly against it. He immediately regretted it though, wondering if the sudden loud knocking would frighten you more, but the door swung open and he saw you, illuminated by the light of the room behind you, already dressed in your pajamas, but your eyes were still puffy and your nose was still sniffling. You had been crying still. 

“Innie…” You croaked out his name, and he quickly pulled you into his arms, inhaling the scent of you, simply wanting to hold you after being worried for so long that he had lost you. “I’m sorry I missed it… I was watching it though… Just now…” 

He sighed softly, shaking his head as he tilted your back with his finger, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “I’m not worried about that. God… I’m just… I’m happy that you’re okay. I don’t know what I’d do if something had happened to you…” But he cut himself off, biting his bottom lip to keep from pessimistically rambling about all of the awful things that could have happened. “You’re okay though? Not hurt?” 

You shook your head in response, giving him a small smile. “Just a little shaken up… You’re here now though… I feel a lot better.” You were acting so strong, and he knew that you were only doing it because you could see how scared he had been. “I shouldn’t have called you and worried you like that… It was a… Just in case call… So that you’d know that-” 

He kissed you again, stopping you from continuing that thought. “I’m glad you called me…” He kissed you again, his hands cupping your cheeks now as he brushed his thumbs along your dampened cheeks. “But I want you to call the police first if anything like that happens again… I really want you to move to the morning shift so that nothing like that happens again…” You nodded your head slowly as your sniffles subsided until they weren’t heard anymore. “And I’m gonna get my permit… I’m gonna learn how to drive, I’ll have the guys teach me… I don’t want you driving by yourself anymore. I’ll be your personal chauffeur. Until then… I’ll just ride with you and wait up at your work until you get off.” You scoffed, but he wasn’t joking, and you quickly realized that. “You don’t know how worried I was… I wouldn’t be able to live anymore if you were gone.”

[jinogasux-fr]

Santae banned me without telling me why and won't unban me unless I send them my photo ID

Hey guys sorry for not posting in… forever? I just suck at social media lol. But you may have seen that I've reblogged some posts that advertise Santae in the past, but please disregard all that. I've since deleted those posts after learning how the site is managed and, after what happened to me a few days ago, I feel as though I should go public about this. Because boy did I just get fucked over.

Anyway, yeah, what it says in the title. On October 24th, around 10am EST, I was restocking my user shop when the entire webpage went white. I couldn't access the site at all and, when I tried to look for the Discord on my server list, it wasn't there. I knew what this had meant. I got banned from both the game, and the Discord - this is important to keep in mind for later.

I didn't receive any Discord DM or email notification about my ban, so after asking a mod what their support email was (and yes, I later verified that this is indeed their legitimate support email), I sent them this:

After a few hours, I get this back in response:

There's so much I'm confused about here. I think the one that screams out the most is that they're asking me to show them my photo ID so I can get unbanned. Absolutely not. I refuse to do this. This poses a massive security and privacy risk. They straight up banned my account, gave this half-baked explanation, and told me I need to send my personal information or... I stay banned?

Let me make something clear: The only personal thing they have on file about this account is the email address that I created my account with, which I've also used to contact them. My real name, date of birth, anything of that nature would not be connected because this was not asked for during account creation, therefore this wouldn't actually prove I'm the account holder. Theoretically speaking, I could show them any ID in the world and for all they know, that's my real information, because they have nothing else to go off of. They even say as much in their privacy page.

Secondly, "account has been compromised"? What does that mean? I think anyone's interpretation of this would be that my account got hacked. But if my account got hacked, why wasn't I informed of this? I had to reach out to support, they did not reach out to me first. That means my password, which I may share across other sites, would have been known to someone else and thus I should've been warned of this immediately, not roughly 5 hours after the fact.

Thirdly, what, was my Discord "compromised" too? If an automated system had flagged my account, does that system somehow interact with a Discord bot so they ban a user on both at the same time? How does that work? That makes no sense as to why they'd ban me on both the game and the Discord for something like this, which is why I'm calling bullshit.

Let me tell you what I think happened.

Recently, Santae has been in some really hot water with connections revealing their relation to an older petsite, Lurapets, which has a history of scamming and artist mistreatment, as well as proof coming out of them using AI art for their NPC art. You can find these posts on the @santae-salt blog if you want to see for yourself, but I'm also linking them throughout this post.

Once the post about them being directly related to Lurapets was released, several users that the Santae staff thought might be involved in the creation of the post got banned. As it turns out, I was banned at the same time as these users.

After speaking with the @santae-salt admin, we are both of the belief that I, a regular user, got caught up in this mess because they're assuming I'm an alt account of someone else and staff demanded to see my ID because they didn't think I was a different person. It may turn out to be wrong, and yeah that sounds a bit far-fetched, sure, but really, what else can I go off of here?? Santae staff has given me a very questionable and refutable explanation as to why I've been banned, and their radio silence after I refused to send them my ID is just making me believe they don't think I'm real. They don't want my photo ID to verify I'm the account holder, they want my photo ID to verify I'm not someone else.

This is unprecedented. I've never seen any petsite ask for a photo ID in any situation, and after asking around, not even those banned from Santae were asked for this. It's just me! This is an incredible attempted breach of privacy, and, with Santae now under doxxing allegations, I really don't feel confident they'd keep my personal information… well, personal.

I messaged back almost immediately after they responded to me where I told them I would not send my ID and I had asked if there were any other way I could verify myself to get my account unbanned. I've received no response so far, and after what I've learned, I feel like I'm not going to get one at all.

So, let this be a lesson to you: don't waste your time on Santae. You can be the most obedient player out there. You can abide by all their rules, be a nice and generous player, or just be minding your own business, but if they so much as think you're associated with someone who they think has wronged them, you'll be banned.

And they can't even be bothered to properly tell you why.

[theprettynosferatu]

Baby, what are you talking about? Of course it looks slutty, I thought that was the whole point! What? You're kidding me right? You've been showing off your body online forever! It's like, your favorite thing in the world! Look, stop joking around. You're starting to worry me.

Hang on. What do you mean you never send pics? You... oh, you really don't remember, do you? I'm... honestly I don't know how you can forget something like that! You told me over and over it was your favorite thing in the world! Do you seriously not remember? You are the one that rubbed and rubbed telling me how amazing the attention felt!

Shy? Since when? I mean, you pretend to be shy sometimes, sure. To make the men you send pics to feel special. The whole "I never do this but you got me soooo horny" bit. You taught me that! Come on. You're fucking with me, right?

Slow down. Something's... wrong. I mean, people forget stuff all the time, but this is kinda scary. How do you think we started chatting? Okay. Yeah. Except it didn't happen that way. You sent a pic first thing! I have the screenshot right here! Oh, come on, like I'd just happen to have a photoshopped screenshot prepared!

Look, have you been sleeping? Eating well? Going to the gym?

Have you... you know, talked to someone about this? Not online, honey. Like... a professional. Because it's not normal to forget that kind of stuff!

College? What college? You dropped out when you... you know. When you joined that site. The full time porndoll plan, remember? Look, I'll send you the link! That's you! Oh, you're accusing me of faking your verification picture? No, I've never even seen your ID! You told me you thought you look dreadful in it!

Okay, let's calm down. You trust me, right? We'll... I don't know, find a way to... fix this somehow. Get you well. I know a very good doctor, in fact.

I'll take care of it. So for now just... relax and only worry about making content. The new lights should be arriving soon. You don't remember ordering those either? Oh dear. This is worse than I thought. Okay, panicking won't solve a thing. Here, take this. It'll help you calm down. I'll go call the doctor right now and in the meantime you can edge your slutty pussy a bit.

That always relaxes you. You told me that yourself, after all.

[irrealisms]

diptych || a c!crimeboys web weave

[sources and IDs under cut]

The first collage is a collection of 14 images.

Image 1: A human hands a raccoon a gun. It is the same image CC!Wilbur sent CC!Tommy with the caption "Me passing the dirty crime boy title to you."

Image 2: Question 4 of 15 Do you love your brother? Answers, please choose 1

Image 3: WILBUR: This isn't just a silly river delta to me anymore, it's got a name, it's got a story, it's— it's L’Manberg, and it's … to me it's, it's you.

Image 4: A painting of Cain and Abel. Cain holds a club in one hand and Abel's wrist in the other as they walk forward. While it is in the background and mostly covered by the other images, their faces and hands are visible.

Image 5: Question 5 of 15 Liar. You feel guilty, don't you? Answers, please choose 1

Image 6: A screenshot from The Fall by SAD-ist. Wilbur has his hand on Tommy's shoulder and is leaning forward to speak to him. Tommy looks anxious.

Image 7: "Am I my brother's keeper?"

Image 8: A piece of paper pinned to the wall, reading "Someone is looking up to you. Don't let that person down." In the context of the collage, it is pinned onto Wilbur's sleeve/upper arm from the SAD-ist screenshot.

Image 9: Question 6 of 15 But you're the one that left him. Answers, please choose 1 [check mark next to the selected answer] I wanted to and I wanted it to hurt him so he could let go of me.

Image 10: WILBUR: I’m glad, Tommy! You know what, I’m glad! Because me and you were never good for that server. We just weren’t!

Image 11: When I close my eyes I'm climbing in the dark Trying not to fall apart Sometimes I get so high Falling is the only out I see And I don't wanna take you down with me

Image 12: a softer world comic. the text reads "At my worst, I worry you'll realize/you deserve better./At my best, I worry you won't."

Image 13: Question 7 of 15 Do you think your brother loves you? Answers, please choose 1

Image 14: WILBUR: Tommy, come over here, please, I— Tommy, I was scared I wouldn’t see you again if you didn’t forgive me. And I didn’t want to not see you again.

The second image is a collage of 11 images.

Image 1: WILBUR: You love it, don’t you, Tommy? You love… L’Manberg…

Image 2: a softer sea comic. the text reads "You're my brother and I love you./That's it./No punchline."

Image 3: A painting of two men standing next to each other. they look similar. the one on the right puts his hand flat above both of their heads, sheltering them; the one on the left has his hand up to touch the hand of the one on the right. the painting is titled My Brother's Keeper.

Image 4: I will stand in the dark for you I will hold you back by force I will stand here right outside your door I won’t see you disgraced I will protect your name and your heart Because I miss my friend

Image 5: A screenshot from Final Waltz by SAD-ist. Wilbur has his hand on Tommy's shoulder. Tommy looks up at him.

Image 6: In essence, the entire Bible is written as an affirmative response to this question.

Image 7: TOMMY: I believe that everyone’s got a little bit of good in them. And I know that Wilbur had good in him. Alright?

Image 8: This is no garden. This is my brother and I need a shovel to love him.

Image 9: A collage of an open book with forests, butterflies, etc. the text reads: i care for you still and i will forever.

Image 10: A painting of two young boys wading in the ocean and holding hands. The smaller one has spiderman swim trunks.

Image 11: TOMMY: It’s not about chances, Foolish. It’s about making sure you don’t give up on the people you care about.

[shotmrmiller]

cbf!Price?!?!

You mean your older brother's even older friend?

You'd been born in the US to an American mom and a British dad; but his job moved you all back across the pond. New country, new school, new people--it had been hell for you and your brother. But the family next door were so welcoming, especially their only kid, John.

Who always called you 'sunshine', gave you piggyback rides at rugby matches so you didn't get lost in the crowd, and never said "Hello" but, "There's my favorite girl".

The same cbf!Price who was your scary dog privilege when you fell in love with the underground punk scene and wanted to go to the sketchiest concerts.

When he'd enlisted, you'd cried for days, but couldn't bring yourself to tell him why you were so heartbroken, no matter how many times he asked, brows furrowed with concern. "Its only a couple months, luv, then I'll be on post just down the road. We'll still have our weekends."

And he kept that promise, as much as he could, even after you moved out of your parent's home to attend university.

It was forever on the tip of your tongue; the words you so desperately wanted to say, had to bite back, otherwise they'd destroy that precious friendship....

.... I can only imagine the myriad of unfortunate ways he might accidentally hear you whispering his name and those words....

with my brash personality, im fucking him the day he's to leave for basic. js.

no regrets around here.

--

ohmygod! imagine him being captain now, and he brings you to meet the boys.

Johnny whistles low the moment he lays eyes on you. "Steamin' Jesus, Captain. Tha' yer friend? She single?"

John does not answer him.

Kyle is kind, sweet, and courteous. Suspiciously so. It gives John flashbacks of how he acts towards women he wants to bed.

Right.

Simon's just his big, quiet self. He's intimidating, but you're not afraid—after all, you grew up with your bully older brother and John.

John notices his eyes gleam when you talk at him, yes, at, because Simon doesn't respond. But he listens. And he's been listening a little too intently, staring at your dainty hands gesture animatedly.

That's enough, he thinks.

"Time t'go home, love." You pout but wave goodbye at the boys and head towards his vehicle.

Johnny opens his mouth to speak but John quickly intervenes, that unless he wants to start fucking pushing, keep his thoughts to himself.

"I'll see you all at base tomorrow."

On the ride home, you tell him that they were all very nice. John's grip on the steering wheel tightens and says that as nice as they are, they go through women more than they do magazines.

"Oh." Did he imagine the disappointment laced in your voice?

"Do you?" What?

"I don't do it often."

"Oh." He turns his head to look at you, but you're staring out the window.

His heart races and elation thrums through his veins. You definitely sounded upset. John looks straight ahead and speeds up to take you home.

His home.

There's only you for him, and if you won't take the first step, then he will.

--

side note: what if he didn't return those feelings? christ id eat my fucking phone. im running away!!! no one look at me how embarrassing!!! his eyes soften, and he's like, "Oh. I'm so sorry, love. You and I practically grew up together."

That really stings. And then he brings his little girlfriend over to meet you and your brother, and you stiffly shake her hand and go to your room to cry.

Someone softly knocks on your door, and you don't move to open it, just yell at whoever is at the door to fuck off in a warbly voice. John's muffled I'm sorry deepens the crack in your heart.

"'S'alright, John. I'll be okay."

You did this to yourself, anyway.

The marriage invitation comes in the mail and you tear it to pieces.

Since you were young, you dreamt of being Mrs. Price, but now, that's all it'll ever be.

A childish dream.

[kiyomitakada]

Light stalks into the hotel room at 1 a.m. It's November 12th already.

They called his mom earlier. He'd almost forgotten, in the midst of it all. Light told her the truth — or as close to the truth as he could get, anyway. The raid. The gunshot wounds. The blood loss. His words came out odd and robotic, which was bad, because it was suspicious. He wasn't sure why he wasn't projecting emotion right.

Aizawa and Ide kept sneaking glances at him through the whole thing. They weren't subtle. Matsuda wasn't either, but at least there was only sympathy in his eyes. Misa held his hand through it all, tracing circles with her thumb. The touch was repulsive. He's pretty sure he'd dug his nails into her palm, considering how hard he'd gripped her hand back, but she hadn't complained a bit.

Sachiko cried. Misa cried, too, even though Dad had never been her father. It felt like an insult to Soichiro Yagami's memory that Light couldn't make the tears come out of his own eyes. He was usually so good at faking it. The dryness felt damning.

"I'll arrange the funeral," he said.

"I'll fly over right away," his mom answered quickly. "I'll get Sayu—"

"No!" He lurched out of his seat without meaning to, then fell back. "Don't tell Sayu."

Aizawa and Ide eyed each other again. He wanted to kill them all.

"We'll have to at some point," his mom said gently.

"I know," Light said. He swallowed. "But Mom, neither of you can come. It won't be safe here. You rented the countryside house for a reason, right? You both have to stay put for now. Mello is still active."

He hoped she would argue. She didn't. "Alright," she said softly. "But you tell me if you need anything, okay, Light?"

"Okay," Light said, and the rest of the conversation was logistics.

It's almost half past one in the morning now. The task force is asleep. Misa is, too, on one of the twin beds they pushed together. He thinks about writing down all the criminals he can in one night and murdering everyone in the building and jumping off the hotel balcony.

"Ryuk," he says instead, as he sits down on the edge of the other bed.

"Yeah?"

He tries to laugh. It comes out wrong, too, but not as badly as the earlier attempt at tears had. "It's funny, isn't it?"

"Wow, Light, I didn't think you were that cold," Ryuk remarks.

"It's just," Light says, "that he only lived one day after trading for the eyes. So even if he hadn't… I guess he wouldn't have stayed alive that long anyway."

Ryuk frowns. "Huh? I don't get it."

"The eyes take away half of your remaining lifespan, right? And Dad wasn't killed by the Death Note, so that really was his natural lifespan. Which means, since he died after one day, he was only going to live two days if he hadn't traded."

It should be a relief. It is a relief. It's not Light's fault. Soichiro Yagami was going to die anyway.

"Wrong," Ryuk says.

Light flinches backwards. It's been five years, but sometimes Ryuk's smile still scares him. "What do you mean, wrong?"

"Welllll… maybe wrong? I dunno, actually." Ryuk scratches his chin with one claw. "Yeah, maybe you're right. I haven't looked at the rules in forever."

"Ryuk, what are you talking about?"

"See, I'm not sure if that half is from how long you would've lived without the Death Note, or if it's from your new lifespan after you get the Death Note."

Light gapes at him. "It's obviously the second one!"

"That's the funny thing, Light-o," Ryuk says, and grins. "You can't know how long someone's gonna live if they have the Death Note. It's impossible. That's why you can't see the numbers over the heads of Death Note owners."

"But — Misa traded half her life away," Light says. "Twice. So it can't be her original lifespan, since that stalker was going to kill her."

Ryuk shrugs. "Who knows? Maybe she's been trading halves of zero this whole time."

"That's… No," Light says. He doesn't notice the way his fingers tighten around his grip on the thin hotel sheets. "No. That would be stupid."

"It is stupid," Ryuk agrees. "You're probably right."

"I'm definitely right." Breathe in. Breathe out. "So you don't know how much time you got from Dad — from my father?"

"No clue," Ryuk says cheerfully. "But it's okay. I've killed oodles of regular people, so I should still have a lot of life left to go."

Light abruptly, desperately hates him.

"I'm going to bed," he says. "Talk to you in the morning."

"Cool," Ryuk says. "I'll go sightseeing."

---

a/n: happy 11/11 :)

[novastaree]

i love 15x8 but its sometimes a little nonsensical to me but also so amazing at the same time?!?!

first off chuck being at a casino just killing people and being served is so real because if i was god and i was fed up id pull the same shit as him. And then when we see Adam and Michael they treat the waiter and the people at the dinner kindly even paying when they don't really need to and Michael going out of his way to fix everyones memory was a good non-mentioned comparison between the two and also made me feel like even though he wasn't on screen Michael changed alongside adam because szn 5 Michael was scary as shit and probably didn't care about the peoples feelings like his father

then we get to the nonsensical part which is honestly the dialog first up the diner scene. Adam says he can't go to college but he wants to get a little job and i just don't think Michael will sit back as Adam gets a little job in any way he wouldn't sit back during college. it is nice Adam wants to actually pay people even though if i was in his stop no way in hell (pun hehe) id do that

(edit but also them talking about the fast food killing him??? No it won't You're an archangel buddy nothing can affect him why are you shaming him 😭😭😭)

next is Michael getting caught in fucking holy fire by Castiel??? In season 5 literally Uriel got rid of holy oil before he entered a room (or maybe it was Michael I'm pretty sure it was uriel tho) And you're telling me Michael who got torched by holy fire and didn't seem to have a good time the first time by the person he was called by didn't get rid of the oil before he stepped foot near them and also it's a Castiel forever to drop that stupid fucking lighter he could stepped out. And How did Michael just let them put the stupid cuffs on He could have just thrown one of these hoes into the fire and stepped out when they were trying to cuff him??? Also they literally got him to have a conversation with him why the fuck would they kidnap him?

and my favorite favorite thing to complain about in this episode is their stupid ass conversations They start off by trying to get Michael who they just kidnapped practically to understand their side. And then when that's not obviously working and he's being kind of bitchy to them Michael says like "You who left me in hell and let your own brother rot" Sam spews some bullshit like "Well in our line of work We got to get used to lost causes blah blah blah blah blah" And first off Michael saying you who left your brother to rot in hell?? So did you and for like a million times longer what 😭 But then they think instead of calling him out on his hypocrisy they start going off about their job and bullshit! WHY WOULD MICHAEL CARE DUDE HE'S AN ANGEL HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR LINE OF WORK!!!

I did love Michael and castiel's fight but they both looked just a bit constipated 🤏

What made me really mad and like confused was 'when we locked away the darkness this was the spell' DIDN'T YOU DO THAT BEFORE EARTH AND PURGATORY AND THE UNIVERSE WAS A THING???? How the fuck is it a spell??? The final season I feel like they really were just giving any solution.

Also it's so funny to me how incredibly powerful Michael is even in these stupid fucking angel cuffs like it felt like the only thing it really was doing was making it so he couldn't get out of the cuffs but didn't do shit besides that. like he opened up a portal to purgatory which Raphael another archangel couldn't fucking do except for like one day a year or something. BUT MICHAEL BEING SO POWERFUL ALSO CONFUSES ME BECAUSE IF HE CAN JUST OPEN UP FUCKING PORTALS TO ANOTHER FUCKING UNIVERSES WHY DIDN'T HE JUST OPEN UP A FEW DIFFERENT PORTALS TO GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAGE

Also I might be the only one but I feel like Adam accepting their apology just felt like him saying 'get me the fuck out of here I'm so done' Also him cursing Castiel was funny "Since when do we get what we deserve?" looks to Castiel and walks out. yeah he totally knew that the gay angel was fucked personally if I was Adam I would have slapped Dean before I walked out but you know cursing his angel boyfriend is probably just as good

Also Adam's so peaceful in this episode like maybe it's cuz he doesn't want to like repeat what happened the first time he met his brothers when he kind of got possessed immediately by an archangel but now that he is what was his like consequence for being kind of a dick to them, like imo he totally should have cuz even though he doesn't really look it to us I'm pretty sure canonically he was still 19 yk

anyways that was a lot but I'm pretty sure it's all of my thoughts on this episode a beautiful crazy episode

[lucky-draws]

btw hi guys. [blows a cloud of dust into your face]. i miss being on here regularly but such is life. hope everypony is continuing to sparkle on. a few updates from me and the team. (?) longtime followers may be mourning the mgs content. as am i. but unfortunately i think i need at least another year before i can start to feel insane about mgs again. im kind of all metal geared out. those 2-3 years i spent being obsessed with it are kind of a distant fever dream now. it remains always in my heart brain and pussy forever but i'm just not in mgs mode right now. the ocie that lives in my brain is hibernating for a while. don't worry he's nice and warm and i have stocked up on tuna and wet food.

i guess my current interest is iwtv so you can expect to see some more of that. (a while back i watched the show then watched the film then read several of the books and now that ive recently caught up with s2 im back in vampire mode. i prefer the tv show versions of the characters so sorry but you won't be seeing me draw t*m cru*se lestat or ginger armand. i do enjoy the books though. when i go home at xmas i'll have them to hand and flicking though them again might spark me into feeling even more crazy.)

i keep wanting to draw more dr who stuff but never getting round to it but i remain optimistic that i will do at some point. who knows. "WHO" knows ! . ha ha.

i also very recently got into bbc cult sci-fi sitcom red dwarf (1988-present) and im feeling the urge to draw some red dwarf stuff (for the handful of people who care) because it's extremely silly and what this blog and indeed myself need is a return to silliness. so if i suddenly start drawing d lister and gay rimmer and their funny friends you've been warned.

i sort of want to draw more random stuff outside of frequent interests tbh. like ive been watching/rewatching a lot of movies lately and id kind of like to draw bits and bobs pertaining to various movies whenever the whim strikes. so if i suddenly put withnail and the titular i on your dash you have also been warned of this.

however i should say that regardless of what i am drawing i might not be able to post often because unfortunately i have a bit more of a life now than i did previously. i socialise a bit and go to the pub with friends sometimes this sort of thing. it's quite jolly id recommend. i also might be working after xmas on top of uni work so i don't know if ill have time to draw much. i want to though. so i probably will anyway. fuck my grades. #cool

anyway i think this concludes my message. basically thank you to all followers old and new for being here. let's continue to stay silly together. happy holidays etc.

lucky

Lucky D. Raws | CEO of SillyBlogging

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[awakefor48hours]

When it comes to Palestine, you have to understand, the end to this won't come from Palestine nor Israel, it's going to come to the US, specifically the president.

I know it sucks, a country from another hemisphere shouldn't play this high of a role in a genocide but that's the truth. Israel would not have the resources or money to keep killing innocent people without the US supporting them. When it's time to vote, putting Trump in office spells immediate death for Palestine.

Just so you understand, here's things about Trump and Kamala's stances on Israel (IDs in alt)

screenshot 1 and 2 || screenshot 3 || screenshot 4

Trump back in office spells the end of Palestine forever. He will financially support the end of Palestinians forever. I cannot stress that enough. On the other hand, Kamala has said more in the name of protecting Palestine. A vote for Kamala gives Palestine a fighting chance.

I want to make it clear, I'm not happy with the candidates. If this election somehow turned into putting Kamala, Trump, or the squirrels on my campus in office, I'd vote for the squirrels. But with that being said, please vote.

Not voting isn't going to help the situation, apathy and complaining on social media has never changed the political sphere. But voting has. We got Trump out of office because we all came together to get him out and with the past assassination attempts coming from a Republican and someone who once voted for Trump, shows that he's losing supporters and we're in the best spot now than ever but that doesn't count unless you actually go to the polls and vote.

[bethelighthalazia]

Last Dance?

Summary:  When your boyfriend doesn't take enough care of himself, the inevitable happens at the end of one of ATEEZ’s concerts.

Pairing: bf!Yunho x fem!reader

Word Count:  1282

Warnings: angst, injury, blood

[ AN: This was just an idea that ran through my head and was intended as oneshot. Well, here is part two: Dancing Forever. Read with caution please. <3 RE-UPLOAD from my old blog @justsomedreaming]

© by bethelighthalazia. Do not repost, copy or translate. Unless stated otherwise, those works are mine and born from my own ideas. I don't have any claim on the mentioned real existing Idols whatsoever.

The day of the concert began horribly already with you waking up to Yunho´s empty side of the bed. You know that he didn't sleep, since his side is cold and there is no dent in his pillow. He usually is not as nervous, but the night before, he already had struggled to fall asleep at all. With a sigh, you sit up in bed, sending Mingi a text, asking if he knows where your boyfriend is. Soon, your phone rings and seeing the caller id, you pick up.

“Hey Y/Nnie, Yunho is here, what’s up? He said he woke up early and wanted to let you sleep in.” Mingi said before you even could start speaking, a frown etched onto your features when you stay quiet. This silence was enough for Mingi to realize that his best friend seemingly had lied to him about that. “He wasn't home at all, right?” “Hmh, I'm worried…I think he's overworking, but he won't listen when I ask him to take breaks.” You answered him quietly, worried about your boyfriend. Hearing a shuffling through the phone, you soon realize that Mingi must have stopped Yunho from dancing and sat him down. ‘I am fine Mingi, just going over this dance again…I was home but slept on the sofa!’ You heard Yunho's voice quietly, swallowing hard and feeling guilty for not trying harder to make him take breaks or sleep. Only a few moments later, Mingi must've picked up his phone, because he said something again. “Don´t worry, he'll take a break now, I promise. See you backstage later?” He asked and you only nodded at first, quickly mumbling an ‘okay’ for him before you hung up. 

A few hours later, you arrived at the place of the concert, the security searching you before letting you in, they knew you by now, but always followed protocol strictly, which you were thankful for. Walking down the hallway, you stopped shortly before reaching the open door to their backstage room, hearing Yunho talk to his stylist as it seemed. “I already had dinner, so you can put on my makeup already, thanks. What? Oh, yeah I'm okay, just woke up early today, sorry for that.” Hearing his voice made your heart heavy, knowing that this is the voice he uses when he's hiding something. Taking a deep breath to calm down, you then stepped into the room, quickly being greeted by the boys, Wooyoung wanting to hug you, but you duck away from them with a chuckle. Their energy never bothered you, you really closed these boys in your heart. “Stop! You all, sit,” You said, putting on a scolding look and, to your surprise, they actually followed your order, except for Yunho, who already had been sitting in his makeup chair. Giving your boyfriend a short look, you frown but then turned back to the boys, revealing a box with nine donuts, one for each of the boys and one for you, all in their favorite flavors. 

After they almost ripped the box from your hands, you secured the ones for you and Yunho and walked over, deciding that it had no use to scold him. A smile on your face, you kissed the top of his head and held out the donut for him. “Hey Yuyu, here I was able to save this from the boys for you,” you chimed quietly, taking a bite of your own while he did take his donut from your hand. “Thanks jagi. Sorry for leaving early this morning…” You shook your head, signaling him that he doesn't have to apologize, you knew how hard the boys always work for their concerts, so you gave up on scolding them a long time ago now. “It's okay, you forgot your keys though. I will leave you now, so your stylist can do her job, she´s already staring daggers at me,” you joked, which made Yunho smile, giggle quietly even, before he nodded and kissed you gently. “Don´t worry, I´ll protect you from her.” 

The moment Yunho turned back to the mirror, Mingi called you to him, asking for help with something, but when you sat down on the couch next to him, you frowned. “Okay, either you want my attention, or you should go to the gym, because opening this bottle is something you also can do alone, Mings.” You said, but he laid an arm around your shoulder and smiled, making you think this might be more an act for Yunho than anything. “He looks like shit lately, Y/nnie…what´s up?” He asked and with a little sigh, you leaned your head against his shoulder, talking quietly. This exchange is nothing new for the others, they know how close you and Mingi were from the beginning, he's like a big brother to you. “I don´t know, Mings…he doesn't talk to me. It's been like this for weeks now. He ate less, didn't get much sleep and sometimes didn't even come home from practice.” You explained, letting out a deep sigh. You didn't know why your boyfriend had been so distant lately, not only to you, but also the others. “Did something happen between you guys? Or…maybe something on twitter or such stuff?” Your head tilted backwards to look up at Mingi with a confused expression, but he couldn't really answer this either. Yunho didn't tell any of the boys anything, they assumed he´d be okay. “Maybe it's the stress? This is the last concert before our vacation, maybe he is just stressed.” The taller one tried to reassure you, but the worry just doesn't go away. After a bit, it was time for the boys to go on stage and you headed to your spot in the VIP area, near the backstage exit of course. ATINY knew that you and Yunho were a couple and they welcomed you happily.

The concert went well, the boys rocked the stage like they always do and you kept cheering for them, your eyes never leaving Yunho though. You could see that his movements became more and more sloppy, as if he's losing his usual energy throughout the performances, which is not like him. No matter how long it is, Yunho never falters in his dancing, but today? It was worrying. After the last song, they stood there for the ending fairy and you already noticed that he seemed somewhat out of it, his eyes half shut and his breathing seemed staggered. 

Before they all left the stage, you already got up to hurry backstage, but then you saw it in the corner of your eyes. While the boys were walking down the little stairs, Yunho seemed to stumble, but a sudden shout let you look properly. 

Time seemed to slow down, a heavy lump in your throat when your feet moved on their own. You saw him falter in his steps before he suddenly dropped like a puppet whose strings got cut. The others didn't realize at first what was happening since he was the last to leave stage, only when Yunho´s arm fell against San who walked in front of him, they noticed that your boyfriend passed out and fell down those steps, hitting his head on the edge of the stage in the process. The last thing you saw was a bleeding wound before your sight was blocked by staff and the other members of ATEEZ.

“Yunho!” You screamed when you tried to reach them, some security men holding you back while Mingi and San carried Yunho backstage to a room and Seonghwa rushed to you, pulling you into his arms to keep you from following them, panic on everyone's faces.

taglist: @mingis-mizu, @tinyelfperson

(if you want to be added to a taglist, follow the taglist-link in my pinned post)

[billys-pretty-babe]

Tropicana's Where I Lost My Heart

Pairing : Billy Hargrove x Stripper!Fem!Reader

Summary : March 29, 1988 was the first time Billy could step into a strip club where there was both tits and alcohol in the same room. Los Angeles, California was a long way from Hawkins, Indiana, so why was his ex girlfriend there dancing for a room full of pervs?

Warnings : Swearing, alcohol, lap dance, smut (protected piv, cumshot), vch piercing

Word count : 3,108

A/N : Inspired by Girls, Girls, Girls by Mötley Crüe (X)

Los Angeles was not a place that Billy visited very often, but the night of his 21st when his childhood friends and Tommy Hagan and Carol Perkins came to visit, Tommy suggested a strip club. So, that's what they did. Tropicana always had a line outside of it, one of the best strip clubs because it served alcohol, you could pay for private rooms, could pay for lap dances, and best of all tits were out.

He leaned against the brick wall, a lit cigarette in his mouth as about twenty people, men and women, were lined up to get inside as bouncers checked IDs and gave people stamps or X's. "How's she been," Billy asked around the butt of his cigarette. Tommy shrugged, puffing on his own cigarette, handing it to Carol. "Haven't seen her since you left, she's probably dead." Billy pushed Tommy as Tommy laughed obnoxiously, fixing his stance as he leaned against Carol.

"Just saying, you guys broke up in August of '85, that was nearly three years ago, man. She's not around no more, at least she's not in Hawkins. Her folks are still there, her mom's still friends with Susan. Oh, Neil's in jail, I forgot what for." Billy hummed, nodding and he flung his finished cigarette into the road. Soon, they were all cleared to go inside, and Billy took in the atmosphere.

The lights were bright on the stage, men and women of all ages, mainly men that were older sat near the stage. Tommy had rented a booth close to the stage and someone led them to it. "Birthday boy gets the closest seat." Billy rolled his eyes as everyone piled into the booth, Carol sitting on Tommy's lap as Billy sat down at the outside seat.

A bar girl got their drink orders, checking ID's and wishing Billy a happy birthday before taking their orders to the bartender. Throughout the night, Billy remembered why he stopped drinking with Tommy who was ogling the topless women. Carol was no different, whistling at the girls, making Billy shake his head at the two of them.

Billy finished off his beer and Carol ordered shots for the table. Billy could handle his alcohol, he knew that much from all of Tina's parties that he attended, beating his own keg record each time. He wasn't paying attention until Carol gasped. "Told you she wasn't dead, Tommy," she said, slapping her boyfriend's shoulder.

Billy looked up to the stage, watching you. Men and women whistled watching you work the shiny silver pole on the middle of the stage. Billy's childhood friends looked to the stage, seeing who had caught their best friend's eye. "She's hot," James said. Billy's eyes flickered to him before going back to you.

Tommy snickered, "That's his ex." James' jaw dropped, "No way he bagged that." Tommy laughed, "She didn't look like that in high school, not that I remember at least." You did look the same, Billy was the only guy to ever see you naked, your body was ingrained into his brain forever after the night he took your virginity.

He noticed the pretty little tattoos on your body, seeing one right under the string of the material on your hips. The bar girl came back, and Carol began asking her about you. "She does lap dances for five dollars, private rooms are twenty and she won't take her top off on stage but give her ten bucks and she will." Carol nodded, pulling money out of her clutch that Tommy was holding onto.

"Birthday boy gets a lap dance." He looked at her as Tommy began cheering, Billy's friends egging him on and cheering too. "I'll get her over here when she's done." Carol nodded, thanking her and she left the table. "Fuck you," Billy said through his teeth to his friends and they all laughed at him. "Lighten up, she probably doesn't remember you anyways. Like I said, nearly three years, and who knows, she probably has a boyfriend somewhere around here."

Billy's jaw clenched at Tommy's words; he wanted you to be happy but with him. The two of you ended on bad terms, he wanted you to follow him to California, you told him no and he left in the middle of the night because he was angry. You never got to say goodbye to him.

You finished your dance, security gathering the cash for you and handing it to you as you thanked the large man, going backstage. You went to your dressing room, putting the money into neat stacks and into bags, tossing them into your locker. Someone knocked on the door and you looked over, smiling at Claire, the bar girl. "Hey, we have a lap dance." You nodded, touching up your makeup.

"What's he look like?" She smiled dreamily, "Tall, blonde with curls, pretty ass blue eyes. He has some tattoos on his hands. He's with a group of friends, I'll bring them all to your section because they're in a booth." You nodded, thanking her and finished touching up your makeup.

You put on more deodorant and a little perfume behind your ears and neck, knowing the guy would be close enough to smell it. You bent over, fixing the laces on your heels and stood up, looking in the mirror, bending over and fixing your boobs in your top. The entire outfit was skimpy but left enough for a man's imagination to go wild, wanting to pay for the clothes to be taken off.

You walked to your section, immediately recognizing Tommy Hagan's freckly face as Carol had her arm around his waist. Blonde hair. You knew it wasn't Steve Harrington, he was a brunette. There were only two blondes that Tommy hung out with, Billy Hargrove and Jason Carver. For once in your life, you were hoping it was the latter but with the look on Tommy's face, it wasn't.

In the chair, your designated lap dance chair, was Billy Hargrove. Your heart raced. He looked different; he was still hot, hotter than he was when he was your boyfriend. He had more tattoos that peeked out of the muscle shirt he wore, his hands had tattoos as well, but he never touched his pretty face. His brow still had a slit in it and his blue eyes were just as striking as you remember them to be, the same ones were in your dreams every night.

You had half a mind to give another dancer him but at the same time, you didn't want to see your co-workers grinding on your ex-boyfriend. "Who's paying," you asked. Carol put the money out and you took it, putting it in the tip jar that you had. You sat in his lap; his thighs were bigger than you remembered. You'd know because you had ridden him practically every night after he took your virginity.

"This okay," you asked him, and he nodded, his hands on the sides of his thighs. You grabbed them, placing them on your waist. A song started, some type of R&B, it was definitely music to fuck to. Tommy's eyes were trained on the stage, practically slobbering like a dog as Carol teased him. Your hands laid on Billy's shoulders as you began the lap dance. Billy's eyes were trained on you, his lips were slightly apart.

He felt himself getting harder with each second you were grinding on him. His hands gripped your waist tightly, wishing it was a different situation, wishing he was holding you close and kissing you. Sooner than he liked, it was over. You leaned to his ear, "Happy birthday, B," you said, just loud enough for him to hear it over the loud music. His heart stopped.

Did someone tell you it was his birthday? There was no way you remembered that. You glanced at his friends, seeing all of them occupied. "Come with me," you said, getting up and he stood up behind you as you grabbed the money from your tip jar and going to your dressing room. He followed you, sitting in an office chair in the corner of the room as you shut the door.

You added the money from your dances into the bags in your locker. You sat in your chair and looked at him, really getting a good look at him in the well-lit room. "Didn't expect you to be a stripper." You shrugged, "College didn't work out for me. I needed to get away." He hummed, "So you chose California?" You nodded. He pursed his lips, "Bullshit, you're lying. You're doing that thing with your nose. What's the real reason you came to California?"

Him.

You shrugged, "I don't know, needed a change of scenery." He hummed again, "And lie number two within in the span of five seconds." You rolled your eyes, fixing the lipstick at the corner of your lips. "You followed me, didn't you?" You shrugged, "Maybe, maybe not." He nodded, "How long have you been here?" You looked at him in the mirror, "Since March '86." Two years and he had never run into you.

"You're lying to me about college. You left during Spring semester; you didn't even give it an entire school year." You sighed, "Cause I fucked up. I should've come with you instead of letting you come here alone." He nodded, practically burning a hole into your skin.

"I still think about what could have happened if we were still together. Probably married with a kid or two with one on the way." You looked at him, turning in your chair. "You wanted kids with me?" He nodded, "And marriage. You were the only girl I had ever thought about being married to. I hated marriage until you came into my life."

The way he looked at you looked like he wanted, like he still loved you. You had never forgotten about the way he loved you, he loved you like every single day was his last day with you. You looked at your dressing room door, getting up and locking it and you moved to where he was, standing between his knees.

Your hand went to his cheek and his hands darted to your waist, pulling you close. He leaned in, stopping when his forehead touched yours. "Did you kiss anyone tonight?" You shook your head, "No, I don't kiss customers." He nodded, kissing you. The kiss was different than the others the two of you had shared. You couldn't describe it, but it felt familiar.

Billy kissed like he was hungry for you, like he needed this. His hands wandered under your butt, pulling you so you were in his lap. His hands messed with the strings on the bottom of your two-piece outfit. He pulled away from you, panting a little. The most action he had recently was with his left hand and whatever shitty porn he was able to get his hands on.

"Are you clean?" You nodded, "Haven't fucked anyone since you." His heart did a little skip, he believed you. "Are you clean," you asked back. He laughed and nodded; he had a few hook ups after you but those ended in 1987. "You got so hot," you said with no shame. He laughed, "Me? Fucking look at you." He kissed your jaw, pressing hard kisses to your neck, kissing a few of your small tattoos as he bit the top of your left boob.

"B, I know we love foreplay, but I need you in me, right now." He laughed, kissing you as he reached between the two of you, unbuckling his belt. Your hands went between the two of you, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, pulling them down to his knees as he pulled his dick out through the hole in his boxers.

"Was that what the hole was for," he asked himself in his head. He reached into his wallet, thanking himself that he put it in his front pocket rather than his back pocket. He grabbed the gold foil, tossing his wallet onto the floor.

"Open your mouth," he said, to which you did. He put the corner of the pack in your mouth, and you bite down, and he ripped the corner off, taking the condom out. He rolled it on himself. He went to undo the strings on your bottoms. "Is this, okay?" You nodded, "More than okay, please, just need you." He nodded, quickly pulling the strings as your lower half was revealed to him and when he hiked your legs up, he saw something shiny.

He put his right arm behind your back, gently leaning you back. He hooked his thumb at the top of your labia and gently pulled up, revealing the clit piercing. He whistled when he saw it, "It's pretty." You smiled, your skin heating up. "Does it add more stimulation?" You nodded and he hummed, "We'll be testing that out at my place, but for now," he said, grabbing two inches below his tip as he brought your chest to his, running his tip through your slick.

He tapped it against your clit, and you moaned, thankful for the loud music playing throughout the club. "Ready," he asked you. You nodded, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, holding your hands behind his back, hoping he wouldn't smash your fingers against the wall.

He pulled you a little closer so you could feel the curls on his base on your clit. You felt the condom slide against your entrance before his thumb guiding his tip inside of you. He moved his thumb to the edge of your hole, gently pulling it to allow a little room for his cock and you moaned, back already arching at the feeling.

Both of his hands went to your waist and once your butt was on his thighs, he moaned, head falling back to the wall. He swallowed, his Adam's Apple moving, and you couldn't help but you place your lips right under his jaw and sucked a hickey onto his skin.

Albeit he tasted like alcohol from his cologne, but you ignored it because right under it, you could taste him. He controlled your hips as he looked at you, peppering your skin with kisses and little bites. He spread his legs a little, thrusting up into you, making you cry out for him, your nails digging into his back through the material of his shirt.

Your body was overtaken by pleasure, not being able to ride him like you used to. Your head fell to his shoulder at a particularly hard thrust and he laughed. You thought about how pathetic you looked. Your ex-boyfriend mentioned marriage and here you were on his dick, how embarrassing. Billy moaned in your ear as you clenched, getting him back for laughing at you.

"God, you feel so good," he moaned out. "Fucking missed this, don't ever make me miss out on you ever again, please." He sounded like he was begging for you. You put one of your hands in his hair, tugging it gently and he let out another moan. Your moans were his favorite, they were authentic, they were him.

You began moving your hips with his thrusts, a deadly combination for the both of you. The room was filled with skin slapping, the wet squelches coming from your body every single time he would thrust back into you, along with the moans from the two of you.

He knew you were close; he could feel the way you were clenching around him. "I got you baby, let go for me. I'm right here, it's okay." Billy was a talker which was good and bad, it was bad when he talked you through your orgasms because his voice was hot, and it made you want to stay on his cock and just soak him completely.

Your thighs started to shake a little. "That's it," he said in your ear, rubbing the small of your back. You succumbed to the pleasure, letting out a loud moan of his name as he talked you through it, his voice was muffled as your body tingled, your eyes rolling back a little.

"Good girl, there we go," he said, trying to stave off his own orgasm, wanting to watch you. God, he loved you so much, he never stopped, and in this raw moment of pleasure, seeing you so vulnerable to him, he loved you even more than before. He kissed you after you caught your breath.

He couldn't help it as his thrusts were getting sloppy and messy, gripping your skin as his breath was coming out heavy. He was so close, and he pulled out, taking the condom off, giving his cock a few quick tugs as his cum landed on your stomach, painting it in uneven stripes with little drips and some globs.

He put his head on your shoulder, his body shaking a little as he was coming down. You gently scratched his back, and he kissed your cheek. "Do you have a towel or something, I kind of made a mess." You laughed and nodded, getting up on shaky legs and you grabbed a clean towel because you tended to shower at the club after your shifts.

You went to clean it yourself before he leaned up, snatching the towel from you. He beckoned you over and you sat back down in his lap, and he cleaned off your stomach, kissing your shoulder as he did so. He cleaned himself up and threw the condom away in your little trash can. "Ready to go to my place?" You nodded quickly. He helped you put your bottoms back on as you slipped on a pair of shorts and a baggy t-shirt over your top. You took your heels off, putting a pair of socks on and grabbing your sneakers, sliding your feet into them.

Billy tied your shoes for you, and you smiled. You got all of your stuff together, including your bags of money and he finished redressing himself and getting himself together. He grabbed his wallet off of the floor and you led him out of the back of the club as he followed you to your car. "Do you still have Blue?" He nodded, "My house, I didn't drive just in case I got drunk." You nodded and got into the car.

From that night forward, everything changed for the better for both you and Billy. Your guys' story didn't end, there was just a pause in it, but the two of you always knew you'd rejoice.

[askallianything]

((*Drops some Allilore like a crow bringing you shiney things*))

"Ms. Marianelli, you know why you've been brought here, correct?"

"Hm? Yeah. I'm super busted or something, right?"

"That's one way to word it, yes. Do you know why you're 'super busted' ?"

"Um.... is it because I lit the Glamoria dormitory on fire?"

"So you're admitting to it? Being the one behind the arson?"

"Yeah. It's not like I was trying to be sneaky about it."

"Why did you light the dormitory on fire?"

" 'Cus those duck-faced whores deserved it."

"What did they do?"

"What didn't they do?! They cut up all my clothes, gave me a dead girl's ID as a birthday gift, burnt my CD collection, and worst of all- they killed Jeremy!!"

"Jeremy?"

"My Mozambique spitting cobra!"

"I see. So they vandalized your property?"

"They did more than 'vandalize my property'! And every time I came to you big dicks in charge about it, you old fucks didn't do a thing!"

"So, you thought the best course of action was to.... set ablaze a dormitory belonging to over a hundred students due to the actions of one group?"

"Yes! And for the record, I don't feel bad about it at all. I know it was a messed up thing to do- but I don't regret it."

"I see..."

"So what now? You gonna expel me? Send me to Shadow Institution Jail? Shoot me in the back of the head like some sort of criminal who doesn't deserve a proper execution?"

"Nobody going to kill you, Ms. Marianelli. We want to offer you a deal."

"A deal? Ugh... and I thought the regular legal system was bad...."

"You understand anamalous animals like no other, Alora. But it's clear you don't get along well with humans or fellow ghou-"

"I do! It's other people who don't get along with me!"

"Right... ahem- As you know, we often send groups of students on missions together. So that they can watch out for each other and practice teamwork. However, we're willing to allow you to work alone. We'll give you anything you need for your research on anomalous animals if you agree to this... 'solitary education'."

"So you're bribing me to stay away from other people? And I get to spend all my time with animals? Sounds fun. What's the catch?"

"There is no 'catch', Ms. Marianelli. However, for the safety of others, we require you to stay somewhere off campus."

"Ahh there it is! You're treating me like I'm dangerous! Ahaha~!! Are you guys afraid of me? Hshshshsh!!"

"Ms. Marianelli-"

"I'm curious. Did I burn the bitch's face off?"

"Pardon?"

"Yasmine Aguirre. How bad are her injuries?"

"She's in critical condition. There's only a slim chance she'll make it."

"Hshshsh!! That's a shame, I was hoping she'd live to suffer those burns forever."

"... You're aware this is a person you're talking about, right? Someone's daughter."

"Mmh? Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Can I go now? I need to feed my snakes."

"Alora Marianelli, If you are not off campus within a week, you will be expelled and prosecuted for your crimes."

"Oooh I get it now!! You don't think I'll be able to find someplace to stay! Especially cus of my family sitch, right? You guys are showing me a lot of your true colors~ might as well take me out now. I know I won't live long after this."

"... Leave. Now."

"Hshshshsh!!! Alright, alright! Nice chat. Good chat. Productive chat~! See you when I see you, Mr. Aguirre~~"

[themotherofallthings]

Someone give Louis Tomlinson his flowers already!

I woke up early this morning, as I often do, thanks to years of working and horrible insomnia. And like most mornings these last few years, I grab my phone and begin to scroll my twitter feed. Louis had a show last night and I wanted to catch up on anything I might've missed once the show had ended and I headed to bed. Per usual, there is a lot of beautiful pics and tweets from concert attendees, waxing poetic about how good the show was and how proud of Louis they are. Typical fare for this fandom, nothing new to add.

I keep scrolling and I land an account, tweet sharing what looks like snippets from an "article" or "blog piece" (not sure which) from the "Medium". I stop dead in my tracks and read the multiple tweet thread of the most biased, vile drivel I've come across in a long time. And I've been here a while.

Firstly, opinions are just that, opinions. And this person's opinions are theirs and theirs alone but sadly, speak to a larger issue within music, the industry and the fandom experience itself.

This writer attended a Louis show with a friend who was a fan. Their only "knowledge" of him coming from this friend & any indirect knowledge because of his time in One Direction. But from the outset, the writing and pov, comes off immediately biased and judge-y.

"a sea of teeth in braces, puffy cheeks and pigtail buns" - commenting on the appearances of the young fans - note - very young fans "Most attendees are too young to drink legally". Because that's what matters about attending a show. Moving on.

"There are no dancers, there is no set piece, there is no stage show, no performance, no outfit changes"

Every artist curates their live show for themselves & their fans. To achieve the best possible experience and set expectations of how the night is going to go.

Louis has no illusions here. He is not "the greatest showman that ever lived" and HAS NEVER PRETENDED to be. He is a straightforward musician who's job it is to sing and engage with the fans. Which he does. For anyone paying attention, he's definitely come a very long way from those 1st early shows and is far more relaxed than he was back then. BUT and this is a huge but, to see and understand this, you have to know his journey and his story, which this person does not (though she does allude to knowledge of AOTV).

She even comments on it by calling him "the least memorable person in a lineup of five" the very criticism he levelled at himself. It's a gut punch to read a rando say something like this, which, we as his fans know, is something he had always been made to feel like while he was in the band, despite most of the 1D fans acknowleding the loved Louis, as did all the guys. Niall, calling him "the glue; the guy who made sure they didn't lose the plot". This is all surface, she doesn't know really know or see him or his lost potential. Nor is she likley to care.

The other thing that I find troubling, aside from her personal views of his singing talent and lacklustre show and personality, is the comments levelled at fans and their enjoyoment/appreciation of 'good music'.

I won't get into the 3 "types of fans" that she describes present at the show she attended because it doesn't matter to the point of my rant (though is it pretty basic & lacking nuisance but I digress). The one label that did stick out was the "cheerleader fan" and her opinion that these fans are only here to support Louis - who by her own opinion and pov, stated was the least successful/memorable and "is forever defined against his more popular former band mate" for unknown reasons. I'm assuming she thinks they are here because they find him cute? Not sure.

"For the Underdog Cheerleaders, it’s not about music so much as it is about identifying with... the least memorable person in a lineup of five" because identifying with an artist is problematic? Dumb? Unimportant? Allow me to show you the stadiums filled with Taylor's fans, who all identify with her and her music.

That is sort of the fan's job. To support and champion their fave, especially when they are not given their proper due. Now I'm not mentioning TS and comparing her to Louis or vice versa, that woman has GOTTEN ALL HER FLOWERS and good for her, but she goes on to claim that "his lines are almost comically generic" speaking about his songwriting. This clearly tells me she wasn't paying attention or was at the bar or bathroom & must've been absent when Copy of a Copy of a Copy was performed. Or when he sang All this Time or Holding on to Heartache. Because you would have to be dead inside to not have had a reaction to the bridge of HOTH & not hear the emotion in his voice as exhales those words, "Nothing's ever easy, to be honest, I'm not easy on myself". Those lines cut me and left me bleeding on the side of the road when I first heard them. But you know, comicially generic. Whatever.

This entire article reads like a hit piece bought and paid for by some industry insider. She literally lists every critiques antis, toxic Harries and Swifties and even Simon himself have levelled at Louis over the years. But this article doesn't require a conspiracy theory to explain. She doesn't like Louis. Or his music. She finds him boring, and apparently isn't a "deep enough lyricist" for her cold, cerebal mind to engage with.

"I’m left wondering what all these thousands of young fans really care about...it doesn’t really seem to be about the music...at its innermost core, this fandom is about itself."

Let me first say this, music, like most are is subjective. It's personal taste. Some fans love country. Some love rock. Some love Classic metal punk with a side of Beethoven. It's music and because it is one of the most uniquie artforms, its enthusiasts will engage and appreciate it for different reasons. And one of the most amazing things about being a fan of music in this day and age, is fandom.

I am old as fuck. And I can genuinely say that being a fan of music since I was 8 years old and first discovered what the radio did in my parent's living room, I have been a fucking fan. But I grew up in a time where there were no online fandoms. No one to scream about Simon's cute outfit or Billy's snarling at an interviewer that one time, or dying with when Jon BonJovi cut his hair. It was a different fan experience back then. There was no online community. No fandom family to go through it with you when Wham broke up.

Fandom has always been controversial because it has always mostly been made up of young women. And young women have had their taste in music disrespected and vilified for decades (starting with the Beetles). Research it. So I find it kind of sad this writer questions why these fans love Louis and his music so much. Because the reasons don't matter. There are many or none. They just are. That's sort of how art works. You feel it. You don't really see it with your eyes but your mind. Your skins senses it before your heart does. And that is how music is or should be. It should not just be about catchy pop one liners or streams or charting. It's about how it makes you feel. The memories it in invokes when you hear a song many years later. It's the way we still remember the words to that one song from the summer during our 3rd year of high school. How do you quantify that? You can't.

I grew up during a very rich and varied musical landscape, so when I tell you that I have loved almost every genre of music, I have loved it for many, many different reasons. Sometimes (when I was younger) because the lead singer was cute and dressed nice and other times because the beat/bop was too good to ignore to not want to sing from the top of my lungs. NEVER ONCE DID I CARE IF THE LYRICS WERE "GENERIC" or that it wasn't popular among my friends or that it didn't fill my head with mythical imagery. If it made me happy and it entertained me, then it was enough for me. Not every artist is going to be Bob fucking Dylan or Taylor Swift. And that's okay. But Louis IS a great song writer and he himself has said he's not big on writing metaphors and cares more about conveying an emotion and a moment in time and we find that engaging. We are still moved when he sings "Saved by Stranger" or Paradise or Change. Because they are good songs that convey a particular moment, sentiment or emotion we can all connect with.

Look, I respect that not everyone is going to 'get' everyone's fave. I don't get Taylor Swift, but I can acknowledge that she has talent but I don't fucking need a show to enjoy her music. But she does that because SHE enjoys that and it definitely helps justify the cost of her tickets. No disrespect, I blame TM for that, mostly.

"To his credit, he really doesn’t pretend to be more than he is — that’s all other people‘s doing"

And that is sort of the point of him. He is not pretending to be something he is not. He is geniune and down to earth and not full of himself like so many other successful artists are and can be. He earned the right to put on airs coming out of 1D and their success. But he doesn't. He says, "this is who I am, take it or leave it" and for his fans, they take it, in spades.

So go read the article for context (or don't - it's probably better for you blood pressure & mental health) but understand that this one person's pov, is not going change who we are as a fandom. We see something in Louis that resonants with us. Maybe it's the "underdog" mentality. Maybe it's the 'cute lad from the north of England' vibe. Maybe it's his no nonsense approach to song writing and performing, but there is no denying there is something about Louis Tomlinson that draws you to him. You want to engage with him. You want to sing his songs. And you do. We all do.

So please, someone give this man his flowers. They are long fucking over due.

[bellyyearner]

Not a horny post

Holding my hands like a foot from my gut and acting like I'm jiggling my belly when in reality I'm gripping nothing is as hot as it's always been. Like just the thought that eventually I could be that size, my tummy is growling with desire just imagining it.

I love being fat, it's fucking great, and I remember this post on here(I forget who it was by) but it boiled down to "you need to be ok being fat on your own, outside validation won't always be there, a partner could leave you, you could leave, or they could unfortunately pass away". 100% agree, you need to be 100% ok and fulfilled in your own skin.

The only part of this idea that is uncomfy is that for those of us that wanna be massive it's such a huge commitment and you'd hope that mutual commitment between you and your partner would last forever. Like the only reason I lost weight (and still losing weight 375 -> 310) is because I wanna gain for my partner, I wanna have that experience last as long as possible. Their love being added to my hips is a lovely idea. But realistically 500ish lbs is a good limit for my height at 6'3" if I was married to them, if I was married for like a decade with that person then that's a different story and my limit would be *their* limit. Id maybe go to 400ish before a marriage proposal

But as for actively gaining outside of a committed relationship, it's a tricky question. I'd love nothing more than to be a massive fatty, smoking weed and indulging often. Id gladly stuff myself during the dating phase and indulge, but id still be heading to the gym often though. Because realistically I gotta focus on my EMS career and build a future that's potentially a solo future, cause for me I doubt I could have a long term relationship without feedism. I don't need to be actively gaining but I'd need to have the love for fat be apparent. It's an integral part of who I am and has been for as long as I can remember. From being a kid adding playdough to my legos to make them fat, rewatching cartoon episodes centered around weight gain over and over, finding deviantart wayyy too early and reading stories for hours, my eyes lingering on fat people too long, all the way to finally getting on Tumblr a few years ago. I don't know how or why it started but for as far back as my memory goes, fat has been a centerpiece of it.

I'm not 100% sure where I expected this post to go, it's more of a diary entry than anything ig, but I'd find it hard to believe I'm alone in these sentiments. The world we live in isn't built for fat people, let alone massively fat people. From societal expectations to architecture it just seems like fat people were not considered.

Anyways I'ma shut up cause I'm rambling. TLDR I love being fat and hope with all of my being that I can find a life partner that is just as obsessed with fat as I have always been

[velvetvexations]

Depression, ideation, fairly heavy, like, I'm genuinely not sure why I'm posting this because I'm weirdly jittery about people reading it and yet here it is.

I may or may not respond to everything that's said about this, if at all.

I've always had a really hard time with conceptualizing my life in a year or two because of politics and not being to make my life materially better to at least try and cope with that by being with the people I love doing things together and having experiences instead of being a hikikomori NEET who's badly touched starved because literally no one I care about is anywhere near me and I have no ability to even do anything on my own lacking money and the ability to drive

I cannot currently picture my life after this weekend.

Worst of all I can't imagine actually going through with harming myself because I am ultimately very cowardly so I feel like either option is completely out of the question, like, both are impossibilities because I lack confidence in my conviction to solve the issue in that way but being around for a second Trump presidency which will have ripple affects for generations is also simply existentially incompatible with me.

I can't think of any positive affirmation about there always being hope and things to be happy that would help. I may never share even a day with my loved ones. I haven't left the house in over a year despite how desperately I want to. The last time I was, it was to get a recommendation for HRT that ended up fizzling because of Sarah fucking Huckabee cutting my aid, which is also why I've been half-starved every day. The time before that was do sign some shit at the bank, and before that, it was my mother's funeral, an era which was a fucking highlight because life with her was immeasurably worse than it is now but in the two or three years since I've stagnated bad and I don't see how I can get out of it because my aunt is not enthusiastic about letting me out of the guardianship because there are some adult things I can't do on my own so I just need to be treated like the family's pet autist forever. I can't even cast a completely useless dark red state vote because of the barriers making it so exhausting to coordinate when I need so much help with that too, so I'm a hypocrite who's going to go down as not having voted in the 2024 election. Like, I don't even have a photo ID card, which is a constant issue in a variety of situations along with not having cell phone.

And then I somehow need to exist...like that...while fascism gradually makes everything worse. But I won't even be sure that's the case until Sunday, so I feel like I'm watching someone hope they're about to cut the right wire.

I don't know how to deal with any of that, I can't begin to conceive what dealing with any of that even looks like.