#but i will fucking fight our mormon family for him

[thelittlewitchway]

Me joking around with my little brother: "Sup loser."

My little brother: "Haha oh that reminds me of a song. Have you heard of 'Loser, Baby'?"

Me having war flashbacks:

*Internal panic bc I was planning an Angel Dust cosplay like 4 years ago when it was just the pilot episode*

Also me internally bc I'm a tik tok addict:

*Still internally panicking because our parents are right fucking there and there is no way I am going to talk about Hazbin Hotel in front of our very MORMON parents*

Me: "... yes, anyway mom, on a totally unrelated topic, how have I just now realized Aslan was voiced by Liam Neeson?"

[soundwavefucker69]

Modern Family really tried to tell us gay men and lesbians hate each other. I don't know what they're talking about. I'm a trans gay man with gynophobia and my best friend is a high femme he/him lesbian. We're the best friends. Opposite ends of the he/him spectrum. King and King of cringe and shitposts. Gods of our own realities. We have become omniscient. We're both on antipsychotics. I don't fucking know. We spam each other tiktoks. The only major fight we've had besides that one time this girl told him I said to have an affair with his comphet boyfriend was over the fact that I (Pentecostal at the time) summoned a demon in the teacher's lounge with a Mormon, two Catholics, and an agnostic, and didn't invite him. We fight over Dr. Pepper not being properly placed in the fridge where it belongs. I call him a whore constantly. We bond over thirsting over fictional long haired men with god complexes. Because lesbians like girl software running on boy hardware and I have massive gender envy for Thranduil but tragically look like a fucking hobbit. He was my first crush. Things went rabidly different. God looked at us and said this one needs to be a mean twink and this one needs to be a meaner lesbian. I love him.

Anyways gay men love lesbians. Fuck y'all. Wlw mlm solidarity. Modern Family is wrong. I forgot to take my antipsychotic and there's demons talking to me. Good fucking night.

[nightingaelic]

Could the companions react to a courier becoming more and more corrupt the more power they gain? kind of like, taking mr. house's place but more evil and dictator-like.

TW: Massacre

Whispers on the day of the Second Battle of Hoover Dam turned to cheers pretty quickly when the news reached the city: Victory, a Legion repelled, and the NCR sent back to the coast. There were free rounds of drinks in the casinos for tourists, and claims to be made by any of the smaller factions that had been holding back due to the presence of the Mojave's largest players. No more House meant no more contracts to follow, and the Three Families began plotting their takeovers in earnest. No more NCR meant the remaining Fiends were emboldened, gleefully attacking caravans, lone travelers and retreating soldiers with abandon. No more Legion meant the weight of impending doom had been lifted, and those with pure and bitter souls alike began to dream of a future where they prospered.

Rebellion was crushed fairly quickly by the courier's new army of upgraded Securitrons, a large contingent of which was sent to the Strip to keep order and squash any rumblings of rebellion. Any open anarchy was short-lived, and the roulette wheels of New Vegas quickly went back to spinning. At the center of this new independence sat the courier, suddenly buried under a slew of responsibilities that they had not anticipated. They had broken House's tyranny, yes, driven back the hungry Bull and Bear from the door, but now there was an influx of refugees in the area from all sides in need of food, care and housing, and clashes over ideals and resources were frequent. It made sense, of course, to send the Securitrons to break apart the Fiends and secure the roads. No one mourned their loss. And when it was discovered that the White Glove Society had taken advantage of the chaos to kidnap some people to be cooked and eaten, the Mojave was unsurprised to see them stamped out for their crimes, even if the delicacies of the Gourmand were sorely missed.

No matter how many robots they sent to help the Followers of the Apocalypse maintain order at the Old Mormon Fort though, fights always broke out over supplies. Really, it was only a matter of time before the Securitrons opened fire on a group of displaced NCR settlers after they threw one rock too many at the peacekeepers. And when the King protested this misuse of power, well, there was really only one thing to do.

Arcade Gannon: After the Securitrons' massacre at the Old Mormon Fort, Arcade silently helped the Followers of the Apocalypse bury the dead and tend to the wounded. The next time the courier sent for him to report on the Followers' progress, he refused to come. After dismissing a second and third Securitron messenger, the courier finally made an appearance at the fort themselves, flanked by four robots. The people of Freeside shrank back in their presence, but Arcade stood firm in the fort's yard, arms crossed. "Look who deigns to visit the common folk," he said sarcastically.

The courier stepped forward from within their guard, frowning. "You won't answer my summons. What's wrong?"

"What's... what's wrong?!?" Arcade fumed. "You killed 17 of our patients and injured 45 more, and you have the gall to stand there and ask me what's wrong? Are you completely brain-dead?"

"Arcade..."

"And now the School of Impersonation's been burned to the ground and the King's on the run," Arcade went on, counting the offenses off on his fingers. "Really, we ought to give you an award or something, this is by far the quickest you've fucked up a job since you let Benny steal the platinum chip and got shot in the head."

"You wanted this!" the courier threw back at him, gesturing wildly at the ruins around them. "Independence! It was your idea!"

"Independence doesn't mean filling anyone who disagrees with you with lead!" Arcade shouted. He tossed his clipboard on the ground between them. "I can't do this. I can't clean up your messes if you're just going to solve everything with Securitrons. God, you're worse than House ever was."

Craig Boone: When Boone heard the news about the refugees and how they died screaming at the hands of happy-faced robots, he packed his things and disappeared. He'd been thinking about it for a while, but it was the final push he needed to put New Vegas behind him and set out on the road looking for work. He found some of it in Novac, after a dressing-down from Manny and a sorrowful shake of the head from Ranger Andy. Ada Strauss needed help moving medical supplies to Goodsprings, and he had open eyes and a gun.

Work on the road led him to a variety of new locales, each more unsavory than the last. Every bar had liquor now, as caps and NCR dollars flowed into the region unchecked. With the alcohol came talk, less hushed than it used to be, and dangerous ideas that Boone eventually stopped listening to and started participating in. It started innocently enough. Clear out a fire gecko den here, get rid of some raiders over there. But the pit in Boone's stomach couldn't be satisfied, and eventually he dove headfirst into settling everything with his rifle: Outstanding NCR bounties, brahmin baron land disputes, anyone with a mean look in their eye and a hand on their weapon. He was good at one thing, and one thing only, so he did it. People started to whisper when he walked into establishments, and he went back to ignoring the talk.

It was only a matter of time before somebody approached him with a stack of bills and a name he recognized. Boone took a beat to think before nodding and pocketing the money. He re-entered Sin City, paid for a room at Gomorrah for one night and snuck onto the roof sometime in the early hours of the morning. The sun was rising when the courier finally stepped outside the Lucky 38, and Boone was the last thing they never saw.

Lily Bowen: The stories Lily heard about her surrogate grandchild didn't make any sense. Her pumpkin, ordering civilians be rounded up like bighorners? Surely it wasn't true. She retreated further into herself, sang little songs more often than she spoke, and only gave the courier a dreamy, loving look if they tried to talk to her.

"She's lost touch with reality completely," Doc Henry said grimly, when they took a break from policing the city to bring her to Jacobstown for a check-up. "I'd wager she hasn't been taking her medication at all. She's chosen to live in the past, even if it's tearing her mind apart."

"Fix this," the courier demanded, piling caps on the table of the clinic. "There has to be some kind of procedure, something... I can build this place up, make Jacobstown a hub like Goodsprings and Novac, I can-"

The doctor stopped them. "There's nothing we can do. Even if we put her back on pills, she's too far gone to reverse the damage."

"Don't say that!" The courier rushed to Lily's side, took her hands in theirs. "Lily, talk to me. You need to remember. Please, just..."

Lily smiled down at them sadly. "Remember."

Something passed between them, and the courier's shoulders sagged. "What should I do?" they asked quietly.

"Make her comfortable," Doc Henry suggested.

And the courier did. Caps rolled into Jacobstown, where Lily spent the rest of her days in comfort at the ski lodge, feeding the brahmin. Even as the rest of the Mojave grew to fear the one seated above New Vegas, the little settlement of super mutants never felt the same wrath, even after Lily passed away in her sleep with her grandchildren's- and the courier's- name on her lips.

Raul Alfonso Tejada: Raul had slipped away from New Vegas early on after the second battle at the dam. Cities had called to him once, but now they were too fast-paced for his liking, and walking down the Strip made him feel like he was walking through a gunpowder magazine with a lit match. He'd settled down in Westside and opened a repair shop down the street from the co-op, and he kept an ear to the radio to listen for the courier's latest exploits.

After the reports came through on the White Glove Society's eviction, he sat down and wrote a letter to the courier. He finally thanked them for his rescue, so long ago, and he put to word his concerns about the little oasis he lived on the edges of. Cuídate, he wrote, or you'll wind up just like the man you replaced. Gobernar es prever.

He sent the message with a Mojave Express courier and waited, but he never received anything back. After a while Mr. New Vegas brought nothing but bad news, so one dry day in October, Raul switched the radio off. He left the Mojave for good that week, with his old guns and a new name. And though the courier finally received his letter after the Mojave Express messenger's remains and mail bag were discovered in an abandoned building outside Freeside, though they sent robot after robot to scour the wasteland for him, their every effort was in vain.

Rose of Sharon Cassidy: As soon as Cass caught wind of what the courier had done, she was in the wind. She'd played her part in bringing them to power, but she would never have agreed to do so in the first place if she'd known what they'd do with it. It confused her, especially after what they'd been through together with the Van Graffs and the Crimson Caravan: Shouldn't they have learned their lesson about stepping all over others?

When Cass was confused, she drank. Well, when she was feeling anything, she drank, but this time felt different. She kept going over what she'd done, conversations she'd had with them, anything that might point toward them turning out the same way as House. Worse, if the latest stories she'd heard had even a grain of truth in them. Was there something she should've, could've done?

She never found anything, and before long she was back on the west coast, boots in NCR sand, where things made sense again. Though she received more than a few invitations to come back to the Mojave from happy-faced robot messengers, Cass never went.

Veronica Santangelo: The temporary truce between the Brotherhood of Steel and the NCR held, even as the latter was pushed out of the Mojave, but Veronica couldn't help but feel strange about the whole ordeal. She'd thought maybe an independent New Vegas would bring new opportunities for her chapter, maybe open their eyes to the way they had stagnated in their ideals and mission. Instead, mass abandonment of NCR outposts meant wide-open sites with salvageable tech, and her brothers and sisters fell right back into their hoarding tendencies. And after what happened at the Old Mormon Fort, all Veronica could do was oscillate between the two, the courier she'd bet her livelihood on and the family she couldn't bring herself to leave.

The Brotherhood chapter's renewed interest in tech acquisition put them at odds with the new regime on the Strip, and eventually the fight came to Veronica's doorstep. She answered the courier's summons when it came, arrived at the Lucky 38 wearing her old traveling robes and bearing a satchel full of old world books she had scavenged from libraries. The courier eyed the books with a little misgiving. "Not going to turn into Caesar on me, are you?" they asked.

"No," Veronica replied. "But you might. I just brought you some reading material."

"Macbeth, The Letters of Lord Acton, Mack... mock..."

"Macchiavelli." Veronica shrugged. "Might be worth your time."

ED-E: With their hands full in the city and with more than a few people gunning for them, the courier began insisting that ED-E remain in the Lucky 38 for its own safety. ED-E obeyed, but grew lonely wandering the halls of the empty casino. Yes Man tried to take the little bot under his wing, but couldn't understand its concern about the situation.

"I know my optimism is pre-programmed, but you should try it sometime!" Yes Man insisted, his face flickering on the penthouse's giant computer screens. "All your worries just melt away, and you have no choice but to look on the bright side! I could try to integrate you into my own system if you're not sure how to do it!"

ED-E declined.

Rex: The day the Securitrons clashed with the Kings, Rex awoke from a nap with a sharp pain in his side and an overwhelming sense of foreboding. He sniffed the air in the penthouse of the Lucky 38, trying to pinpoint the source of the feeling, and found the courier slumped over in a chair in the cocktail lounge, nursing a bottle of bourbon.

They waved off his attempts to inspect them. "Go away, Rex. Not today."

Rex whined, and they sighed and took another swallow of liquor. "I'm sorry," they said, though it wasn't clear what for.

[ktmarison]

ALL  ABOUT  MORMONS:  SENTENCE  STARTERS.

‘  i’m  really  excited  to  live  in  this  town  and  share  all  kinds  of  great  experiences  with  you.  ‘

‘  aw,  dude,  what  a  little  asshole.  ’

‘  dude,  that  new  kid  is  such  a  douche.  ’

‘  somebody  needs  to  wipe  that  fucking  smirk  off  his  face.  ’

‘  alright,  i’m  gonna  go  kick  his  ass.  ’

‘  i  got  five  bucks  on  the  other  kid,  who  wants  in  ?  ’

‘  i’m  gonna  kick  your  ass.  bitch.  ’

‘  how  come  you  wanna  fight  me  ?  ‘

‘  i  understand  if  there’s  initiation  rights.  ‘

‘  do  what  you  gotta  do.  ’

‘  i  won’t  fight  back.  ‘

‘  i  just  hope  that  maybe  afterwords  we  can  try  to  be  friends  one  day.  ’

‘  i’m  going  over  to  his  house  for  dinner  tonight.  ’

‘  he’s  a  really  nice  kid.  ’

‘  you’re  supposed  to  kick  his  ass,  not  lick  his  butthole  !  ‘

‘  it’s  great  that  could  join  us  for  family  home  evening.  ’

‘  i  love  my  family.  my  family  is  the  best.  ’

‘  oh  boy,  who  is  the  best  mom  in  the  world  ?  ‘

‘  the  book  of  mormon  ?  what’s  that  ?  ’

‘  who’s  joseph  smith  ?  ‘

‘  he  was  called  a  prophet.  ’

‘  i  was  out  in  the  woods,  praying.  ’

‘  i  should  start  my  own  church  because  none  of  the  others  have  it  right.  ’

‘  there’s  an  ancient  book  buried  around  here.  ’

‘  the  rice  crispy  squares  are  done  !  ’

‘  god  and  jesus  don’t  actually  speak  to  people.  ’

‘  i  mean,  how  come  we  don’t  ever  have  a  night  where  we  don’t  watch  any  tv  and  we  just  do  stuff  together  and  eat  and  drink  ?  ‘

‘  i  said  shut  up,  turd  !  ’

‘  i  need  to  be  following  heavenly  father’s  plan,  and  i  don’t  even  know  what  that  is  !  ‘

‘  don’t  cause  trouble.  ‘

‘  it’s  so  nice  to  finally  meet  you  !  ’

‘  you  gotta  try  one.  or  six.  ’

‘  i’m  a  little  concerned  about  some  of  the  things  you  told  my  son.  ’

‘  we  forget  not  everybody  wants  to  hear  about  it.  ’

‘  you  must  be  furious.  ’

‘  who  the  heck  do  these  people  think  they  are  ?  ‘

‘  you  know,  to  be  honest,  i’ve  never  known  any  mormons.  ’

‘  first  i  must  .  .  .  translate  it  into  english  !  so  you  can  all  read  it  !  ’

‘  we’re  having  their  family  over  for  dinner  tonight.  ’

‘  from  now  on,  our  family  is  mormon.  ’

‘  did  you  make  out  with  him  too  ?  ‘

‘  here’s  his  little  girlfriend  now.  ’

‘  aren’t  they  so  cute  together  ?  ’

'  my  family  is  on  their  way  over  to  the  fire  station  to  donate  blood  !  you  wanna  come  along  ?  '

'  aw  man,  i'd  miss  you  guys  so  much  !  '

‘  isn’t  this  great  you  guys  ?  our  first  family  home  evening.  ’

‘  well,  you  can’t  believe  everything  school  teaches  you.  ’

‘  how  do  you  know  he  isn’t  just  making  things  up  ?  ’

‘  why  would  he  make  it  up  ?  ’

‘  god  got  angry  with  you,  so  you  must  be  telling  the  truth.  ’

‘  wait,  mormons  actually  know  this  story  and  they  still  believe  joseph  smith  was  a  prophet  ?  ‘

‘  it  proves  he  did  make  it  all  up  !  are  you  blind  ?  ‘

‘  that's ��another  thing--  why  do  you  have  to  be  so  nice  all  the  time  ?  it  isn't  normal  !  ’

'  oh  no,  you  guys  broke  up  ?  '

'  what  the  church  teaches  now  is  loving  your  family,  being  nice,  and  helping  people.  '

'  all  i  ever  did  was  try  to  be  your  friend.  '

'  you  got  a  lot  of  growing  up  to  do,  buddy.  suck  my  balls.  '

‘  damn,  that  kid  is  cool,  huh  ?  ‘

[kisstheashes]

It's kind of strange, being an exmo that grew up with a divided family.

My dad was never a member. All my oldest siblings had left the church. It was me, my mom, and my brother closest in age to me. So I was exposed to a lot of things that many Mormon kids never were: my siblings and parents drank alcohol in front of me, and smoked, and cursed, and had explosive fights, and my nieces and nephews all had broken families because all my siblings got addicted to something at some time or another. I witnessed divorces and custody battles and my siblings physically hurting each other or someone else, or going to jail.

Then I'd go to church on Sunday, or Wednesday activity, and I'd be told about how families are forever, and the only way to stay with your family in heaven was to be sealed with them in the temple.

My dad was never a member. He never would be. My older 5 siblings came from another man, who my mom divorced long before I was born. My mom couldn't make it into the temple because she couldn't give up smoking, and the occasional drink (she's a convert herself).

So I'd hear these teachings, and I knew from a very young age that I'd never be with my family in heaven. So I started thinking about a heaven for pets instead, because pets must make it into heaven, right? And surely they'd remember me long after they died! So they'd be my family in heaven, because you don't get sealed to your pets, and it would be cruel to keep them from someone they miss, because they're just animals.

My family was always brought up as an example of what not to do. The leaders would never bring up my family unless it was in a negative light, and promised me that even if I don't get my birth family, I'd have the family I'd be raising!

I didn't want kids. I was terrified of being pregnant, and still am. But that didn't matter, because it was my only shot at not being alone in heaven.

I understood what talking to the bishop and repentance were, but I never acted on it, because I never saw any of my family act on it. (And if I spoke to him I'd have to unravel how fucked up my family is, and he'd have to fake sympathy.)

Most people in my ward would listen to my mom talk about our family struggles (she's still very well liked despite being a "problematic Mormon") but they would all be shocked, or fake their sympathy. No one could relate, except the very few other kids who also had broken families. I think there were 3 of us, and we became a solid group for a bit, because no one else understood us but us.

But I was still brainwashed. I was still manipulated, and gaslighted, and fucked up. I still have to unlearn all the behavior control and emotional abuse the church put me through- almost to a worse extent than people with perfect families. Because I thought I wasn't brainwashed, for a long, long time. I thought I was fine. I thought the church didn't get to me, because I watched my siblings smoke and drink and even steal shit and harm people and have screaming matches and break things. And it left me with the impression that all the shit the church did didn't have an affect. But oh god it did.

I don't struggle with drinking coffee, or doing nothing, or cursing, or trying alcohol, or any of those things. But I struggle with the idea of sex still, and I struggle to control my emotions, and open myself up to people, and I still have anger issues from all the suppression I always did (and still do) to survive in the fake happy atmosphere of the church building. I still feel isolated a lot because of how I grew up, and I still have a hard time articulating why I'm so fucked up, so no one believes me.

Being a Mormon with a broken family fucking sucked. Being an exmo with a broken family still fucking sucks.

[fudgetunblr]

Stranger Things 3: a Character Analysis

Eleven: Her new style is half clown, half edgy teen in the 2010s that was born in “the wrong generation.” Highkey looks like Screech from Saved by the Bell. A lil shit who’s super badass. We loove.

Will: seriously, GIVE. HIM. A. BREAK! HE JUST WANTS TO PLAY D&D WITH HIS FRIENDS, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR??? Lowkey could be gay thoo. They dress him like he’s still season 1 Will, even though Noah has grown and looks like... WAAY too old to pull anything of that off. it’s like he’s a fourteen year old cosplaying as a nine-year-old. Will the wise™. Made me cry like a lil punk. 

Mike: a lil shit 2.0. No, his hair is not nice. Took (1) scolding for him to not meet El. I ain’t calling him weak.. I’m just calling him weak. In love™. A dick to his mum. Has lied (1) once. Friends Boyfriends don’t lie

Dustin: Has a girlfriend because fuck u. Sings duett with said girlfriend for... reasons ????? A genius™. Steve’s favorite ™.

Lucas: Has had the same haircut for three seasons. Has been dumped 5 times™. Gives shitty advice.

Max: Gives slightly less shitty advice. Friend goals™. She was a skater girl, she said see you later boy. El’s Sensei™

Hopper: a snacc™. “Oh, fuck- I can’t believe you’ve done this”. Seriously, I’m about to kick some ass... R.I.P to the real MVP and the only valid character right now.

Joyce: I’m 99% sure the writers hate her because they seriously kill every single guy she ever dates or at the very least makes him an asshole. The real Nancy Drew. 

Murray: love doctor™. [does anyone get a little bit of a gay vibe]

Steve: has won (1) fight™. Has fought Russians™. Daddy™. Hair™. an Ally™. will give away your identity to communists if drugged or possibly if asked nicely.   Is not going to college and cannot score and that’s what you missed on: GLEE! 

Billy: Duffer Brothers after season 2: “we’re not giving Billy a redemption arc”, Duffer Brothers in season 3: “hey, wouldn’t it be funny to give Billy character depth, a backstory, motives for why he acts so evil, have him show genuine emotion towards Max and have her care back, just to kill him off. HAHAHA, yeah, let’s do that!!” 

alt. “She put you on the map” “as a seducer of the elderly.”

Nancy: Hair™. “I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me!”

Jonathan: has apparently won a fight against Steve. Honestly, his main role this season was to be the guy who yelled “LIGHTS!” and to follow along in Nancy’s shadows because the Queen stole the damn show from him

Alexei: a bean who deserved better. The Barb/Benny/Bob of this season. 

Erica: a queen in her own right. Nerd™. The new face of Capitalism. So like ??? the future of America™??? Future D&D player. “I like how people sometimes say I’m four, five- I’M TEN, SO STFU!”

Barb/Bob: Still manages to appear. 

Heather: present

Robin: The gay character we’ve been waiting for, didn’t expect, didn’t deserve, but has still been gifted to us. It’s safe to say that I love her and although I’ve only known her for like a day, if something were to happen to her you’d be sorry. Wing Woman goals. 

Keith/Mr. Clarke: Five minutes of screen-time. 

Tom: Larry Murphy before the events of Dear Evan Hansen. 

Mrs Wheeler: you can talk to her™

Mr Wheeler: the best character™ no question about it. Relatable as heck and steals every scene he’s in. 

Suzie: here to remind you that Gaten used to be on Broadway. as well as Sadie and Caleb. Mormon™

Mrs. Henderson: “MaYBe THey foRGoT”

Mayor Guy: if Capitalism was a person(™?)

Mind Flayer: Alexa, play STFU by Filthy Frank 

Other characters that I haven’t mentioned: valid, but I’m tired 

BONUS!!!

Music: On point™

Squads:

The boys™: "What’s better than this? Guys being dudes” 

Scoops Troop: “when will you learn? when will you learn!?!?! THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!!!

Griswold Family: All the normal shit like romance and friendship belongs here. Mindflayer... nah. We’re gonna plot how we’re winning our partners back instead of, gee, idk, TALKING TO THEM !!!  

The Adults™: We’re the Millers, but they’re all adults. 

Mum’s not present: still valid

Mum’s at the pool: IT’S TIME TO STOP !!! 

Erica & Co: lil shits™

Max & Elven: Alexa, play Girl just wanna have fun by Cindy Lauper 

Ships: 

Jopper: Russin Ballad™

Mileven: three inches™

Mucas: will break up 5 times and then get back together.

Byler: wE’Re NoT KIdS ANYmoRE 

Harringrove: at least Steve didn’t get a girlfriend 

Jancy: Sherlock and John alt. Bonnie and Clyde. 

Suzie x Dustin: Will sing weird awkward duet together anf have corny pet names™

[legendarynightmare-stuff]

The story of my complete decision to become an apostate.

To start things off I had better give a little bit of context. I am Mormon. Born and bred. I have been taught since out of the womb the gospel of our church. I have grown up in the church, and like every other Mormon child I went to nursery, primary, young woman's and Sunday school. Unlike many of these children though was my hatred of church. I hated being touched by strangers, I hated being forced to stand up in front of every one on fast Sunday and say words my dad had written for me. I hated church in general.

I figured I would grow out of it, because anyone who has been raised in the church knows nothing exciting happens until you turn twelve and become "important". I did in ways. I became very close friends with another Mormon girl and if we were still part of each other's lives, I would have invited her to prom this year. That's besides the point though. Anyways. That friendship helped me attend church with a better attitude. Then my family moved. The church we now attend is considered a branch. I tiny little church where me and my siblings are the only youth. It's isolating and depressing. To help us with this loneliness my parents took me and my older brother to activities and dances. Often having to drive over an hour to spend time with youth that made me feel inferior and even more lonely.

As I got older my faith has shaken. Hard. And it's been a horrific experience. I excepted that I was not straight a few summers ago and admitted tearfully to my mother that I supported the LGBT community. That's as close to telling her I have gotten. The hatred towards LGBT people made me feel isolated, confused, and frankly angry. How dare a church that preaches kindness shun so many. That wasn't the only thing though. As I mentioned before, that while I enjoyed the dances and activities I hated being around these youth that walked around like missionaries constantly and spewed scripture verses at any moment. I started to hate the culture of the church. Even my own little isolated branch where I know everyone and everyone knows me.

I've fought with myself for months as this realization washed over me, as I began to challenge the teaches burned into my mind. I learned quickly that questions should be carefully curated before being asked or you will never receive an answer. I have had to fight with the shame and fear of losing my trust in the church. It's been a battle as I hold back from shoving my opinions of the church on my younger siblings, and showing my defiance to the teachings I no longer feel are as true as said. But then a fireside happened one night and my views of the church hit an all time low.

This fireside was unlike any I had ever attended. It was a multistake fireside and everyone was excited to go, because there was going to be two apostles visiting our little unnoticeable state. Me and my sister were the only ones attending that night. The chapel was full as was the cultural Hall. Full to brimming. People were standing sitting on the floor, and on the stage. Anywhere they could. Me and my sister got seats in the very back row. The meeting wasn't all that impressionable. It was hot and crowded and I wanted to go home. Towards the end of the meeting the apostles said they would pass a microphone around for the youth to ask them questions. Most of them were questions about the apostles ministering and other church related questions. As the time was growing to an end I noticed a not sitting on the stage with his hand held high bouncing up and down to get the attention of the person holding the mic. I hoped he would get it, and wished he hadn't.

They finally noticed him and he got the mic. He stuttered as he spoke and what he said broke my heart. He talked about how he had autism and how he was bullied relentless at school. He spilled his feelings of loneliness and thoughts of hurting himself. He asked, implored, begged for relief. He pleaded for peace of how he could feel peace. I expected the same gentle replies the other youth had gotten for their questions. I expected the same calm loving guidance. Instead this man who this little boy had spilled his pain to said,

"perhaps if you were not so selfish and focussed on others instead of yourself, you would find peace."

Fury. Pure unadulterated fury poured into my veins and sizzled in my mind. I could not believe that that was all this man could give this boy before going on a speal about how service will bring you happiness. I was beyond mad. Still am. The boy left heart broken and overwhelmed. I should have gone after him but I was a stranger.

When are parents came and picked us up I screamed and cried and ranted over the boy. I was so angry, so disgusted. My parents seemed sympathetic my mom assuring me that they were just human like the rest of us. Once I was calm enough to think this excuse was enough for me. However as I think about it more the more I don't agree.

Humans make mistakes. We say dumb stuff. Do dumb stuff. But. The reaction given to the boy was completely inhuman and cold. He did nothing to comfort this hurting child, simply pushed him away with a church approved message.

I don't know why the apostle responded to the boy in this way. I took nothing spiritual away from that fireside. Only a burning desire to fight for youth like this boy to be seen, and another hole in my already crumbling foundation.

This was long. And I'm sorry for that. But if you read it all the way through if you have any questions, ask away.

I actually posted this on queerstake awhile back before a found the community I truly feel a part of. This happened last summer and I haven't be "Mormon" since then. This was cruel inhumanity, and the other youth were too enamored to see a high standing church leader that they didn't realize how disgusting this was.

This was a deadly mistake, and one that will cause damage.

Again, as usual, fuck the LDS church

[foxie-roxie]

bored. 1

do you ever feel numb and listless?

kind of how I feel right now. I’m a weirdass kid in a weirdass world, and my family is going to shit.

i’m non-binary (even if my mom fucks up my pronouns and name a lot), a lesbian, and I’m neurodivergent. Not the best combination, being 3 minorities.

i know Trump sucks, and my family sucks. My mom thinks i should go to a mental hospital and my dad probably hates me. they hate me and think i'm cuckoo because i didn’t want to see my four year old sister getting hurt anymore. my mom thinks i made it up.

CPS is like the cops. they won’t do shit. i want to just run away from it all. i could try, but i don’t know where i would go. maybe i could ask my brother if he would take me. he stayed with my family for a bit before him and my mom had a fight and he left. i don’t blame him.

i hate my family. i hate it so much. i dunno why im typing in here really, maybe to vent? to get it out? i dunno. felt like writing. i feel out of control of everything, so maybe this is my way of being in control of something.

i miss my brother. a lot. he was so nice. even if he could be mean sometimes i love him a lot. i don’t miss my dad or stepmom at all. maybe my little sister. it hurts to know she’s probably getting hit right now for being too loud.

did you know it’s legal for parents to spank their kids in texas? yeah, it’s fucking shit. our law system in america is bullshit.

at least i have fandoms. i’m rewatching my favorite movie, the half of it. it’s really pretty. aster’s pretty. maybe you’ve watched it?

i dunno why im addressing you, it’s weird. maybe it’s to make me feel less alone, like im writing to someone.

i like utah. even if it has crazy mormons. it has snow. i want to move to scotland. it’s my family’s backup plan if trump wins the election again. i want a new start.

even if my family doesn’t move to scotland, i wanna move there. it would be a new start. and that’s what i want. i want nobody to know my name, my past, or who i am. they can find out those things if i tell them, but until then they could know me as Fox Roan Anderson. and that’s it. before i move i’ll probably get my name legally changed. but once i can, i want to get out of america.

maybe i won’t move to scotland though. who knows where i’ll go. all i know is i want my own start. nobody telling me where to go or what to do. i want my own life. and i could get a girlfriend. or a joyfriend. someone to hang out with. maybe just a friend to hang out with.

all i know is i don’t want to be alone. maybe that’s because i feel so alone right now, but still. i have my online friends at least. they’re nice. maybe i could go live with one of them.

i dunno why, but my friend dee feels more like a mother than my own mom did. maybe it’s because i hate her right now, but i feel… safe when i talk to her. i can tell her everything about me. she helps me and is just. motherly towards me.

i don’t have a crush on anyone. at least, i don’t think so. i broke up with my ex a while ago and haven’t loved anyone else. maybe it’s because im a demi-lesbian but who knows. i just wanna be somebody.

[dekuinthelake]

Why I’m okay with people knowing I’m transgender

Firstly, I want to start off by saying that if you’re trans and for your own comfort and safety you don’t want to be “outed” that’s 100% understandable and you should not feel bad about that. We all need to move at our own pace when discovering our social limits and confidence. My journey will have not been the same as yours. I live in Colorado, a state that is fairly trans friendly and am a trans man, meaning I’ve most likely had a safer time than I might have elsewhere. Trans women have it especially difficult, and if you feel unsafe in a situation that’s up for you to gage. It doesn’t make you less valid or a coward or anything like that.

Just know that I’m writing this for you and other trans/nb folks. I want our choices to transition to feel like the right one, even when people who don’t understand are making you second guess.

Context:

From the time I was 16-23, I was immensely depressed. I dropped out of highschool because of an immense disillusionment for the future. Primarily, I believed I didn’t have one. I’d always been bad at school, so collage was out of the question. I thought I was too ugly to get married and so that traditional Mormon thing my mother specifically had impressed upon me, which was having kids obviously. Most people disliked me because at the time, I had an extremely aggressive and compulsive attitude thanks to being absolutely lost emotionally. I hated my body and my mind and was convinced the things I despised could never change.

Ironically, one of the thorns in my side was how I always wanted to be a man instead. I recall coming home from school some days and just curling up in bed and sobbing about it.

“If I was a boy, people wouldn’t make fun of my ugly ass body.” Something I felt primarily about my chest. Once I strangled a kid for pointing out my bra strap through a white shirt. No joke. I was volatile and pissed all the time because of dysphoria. Comments about being feminine quite literally triggered me growing up. Every violent fight I remember growing up was caused by someone making fun of me in relation to female gender.

Despite this problem being so obvious, my religious parents took me to Mormon operated therapy. The suggestions I was given by councilors was typically “Have you tried praying about it?” Or “Are you going to Young Women’s every Sunday?” For those of you who don’t know, in the LDS church, they separate Sunday school for age groups based on gender. In particular, they forced all girls to wear dresses.

Having that identity forced on me every Sunday against my will from a very young age caused me to resist in aggressive attitude. Hit a kid in the face with my bible bag once for telling me I should be in the kitchen.

Another unfortunate side effect of the Mormon upbringing was literally not knowing that trans people even existed. I recall seeing trans people (like with waiter we had once) and being a little perplexed but not too bothered. But no one had ever explained the concept to me until much, much later.

After I had dropped out, a friend of mine came out and at the time the concept was alien. I’d spent so much time in my life trying to choke down any hope of being a guy because of religion it seemed impossible to even change genders. But then a mutual friend between me and my trans one (who is now my roommate) explained to me in a car ride I still remember vividly about what testosterone does to your body. Bit of a side note, but the ‘micro phalus’ thing was something I straight didn’t believe and OH BOY LMAOOOO.

Anyway, with that information now tumbling around on my mind... I accepted my friend and continued to ignore my obvious feelings!

Life marched on. I sunk in to gaming addiction, depression, and repression. I think I first tried to kill my self when I was 20 years old. I had quit my job thanks to a car crash I got in to and sunk in to doing absolutely nothing but playing MMOs for months. Eventually I just convinced myself there was no possible way my life could anything meaningful or productive. I had a fairly unhelpful stay in a mental hospital. I got out, got a job at the Denver zoo as a janitor.

I coasted for a few years there. That job taught me a lot. People skills, how to work hard, how to care about the future... And one of my coworkers was a trans man. We didn’t talk much about his transition. Mostly we just talked about cool things at work and how shitty customers were.

I think that kind of interaction was so important to me. To everyone, him being trans was just natural. No one cared and he seemed pretty happy.

With that information I started to do a bit of research on my own. I’m not sure how many months of consideration I had before coming out subtly to my current roommate in a car.

At the time, pondering coming out to everyone around me and having to confront my body every day in mirrors I cleaned for a living became a sort of hell. I worked the 4am shift and had no one to talk to for the entire duration of my work day, leaving me with lots of time to watch videos and think. I mean I mentally battled myself to the point I was in a lot of pain. So I started taking pain killers, mood stabilizers, drinking, and smoking weed in excess. Since I worked in the dark alone, no one would know how fucked up I was. The primary wrench in me finally accepting my own needs was again that feeling of hopelessness. The process of transition seemed so intimidating. It’s expensive. It will take effort. What if I fuck this or that up?

Early 2017, I tried to kill myself again after months of tormenting myself. I remember when they put me in the ICU and asked for my name, I told them Mike instead of my now dead name. The nurses asked if I had a pronoun preference and I just couldn’t say anything at all. But the chart whiteboad hanging on the wall in front of my bed said “Mike’s”. Everyone who came to visit me saw this. In a way, I had forced myself to come out. My stay in the mental hospital provided the same information as the last, but this time I was more ready to accept it.

One of the exercises we did was write plans for the future. Before, I had left it blank. But this time? I had goals. One of them was to come out officially in a far less destructive fashion. My dad seemed to accept it but not fully support. Due to family tensions that were somewhat unrelated to coming out, I ended up moving out in Late September 2018.

Soon everyone in my personal life knew. I got laid off with my entire department at the zoo. I remember coming out to some of my coworkers based on how religious they were the last day. My next job, I introduced myself as Mike and even got a name tag.

At the end of 2018 I started on hormones after a battle to get ahold of a doctor. Since then, I’ve been a lot happier.

I’ve lost over 100lbs and started working out.

I’m currently working the highest paying job I’ve ever had.

I’m living in an apartment with people I really care about.

The people I keep around me accept my pronouns and are proud of me coming out.

I’ve grown a mustache I love so much I can’t bare to shave it.

The power of self actualization

In every respect, coming out and presenting myself in exactly the way I want to has improved my life. For me that included medically transitioning. It’s like I finally have something to look forward to. All the little changes make me excited and more confident in what I like every day.

Even minor things like clothing are now these exciting vehicles of self expression. I never used to buy things I liked since my parents controlled what I was and was not aloud to wear. And even when I got my own money, those standards forced upon me by Mormonism held me back. Every pay check has more meaning when I’m replacing the old life that I hated so much. I seriously love this tiger shirt I got.

I’m proud to tell people I’m trans because finally admitting to myself has improved my life and mental health and unimaginable degree. I went from wanting to die basically at all times to having excitement for what comes next. I’m enjoying activities that I never would have before. Going to gay bars and dancing has been so enriching for me and I absolutely never would have done that before when I was all angry and bristly.

Being trans can be such a possitive experience. It’s freedom. It’s being able to live your life comfortably.

I know there are a lot of people who don’t understand or don’t want to because of their upbringing... and if you are one of those people who managed to read all this, please know they if you’re anti-trans, you’re anti-freedom of expression, anti-mental health, and anti-social.

Coming out was like removing a clog from my life. I’ve FINALLY been able to start living. And that’s something I want people to know about me. I felt dead before I changed my name and pronouns.

By the way. I’m Mike. He/him. 25. And I’m not going to try and kill my self ever again because I’m enjoying my big trans life.👌

[overwhelmsion]

Exactly three years ago, I went to a therapist to ask for help in getting divorced because I knew it would be a gargantuan task to take on by myself. Impossible. My healthcare insurance makes you go to this one company where they set you up with an appointment with… I don’t know the title of the person but based on what you discuss then they determine if you need a psychologist, counselor, idk what the fuck. All this to say that I don’t really know the credentials of this fucking bitch so I don’t know if therapist is the right thing to call her, but still.

I went in with the 100% purpose and intention of saying “I need help to tell my husband I want a divorce.” I don’t remember exactly but those were the words right out of my mouth when the lady asked me for the purpose of my visit. I immediately broke down crying. I was going to this lady because I had and still have NO ONE here. No family, no real friends here. I tearfully told her all about my relationship, tried to summarize all the fuckery with my family and also the reasons why I was done with him. I was a crying mess for most of it. I was going to this lady because I needed SOMEONE to help me. My mind was made up, I wasn’t vacillating. After YEARS of living in this in-between zombie state of “should I stay or should I go” I had FINALLY decided to leave him. And when I make up my mind, there is no going back. That’s just who I am.

So this lady listens to my tale of woe and at the end of our 40 minute session (mind you, where I tried to cram 9 or 10 years of history) she goes “okay for our next session I want you to make a PRO/CON list of the reasons why you want to divorce your husband” BITCH I DIED.

A pro/con list? Who the fuck did this woman think I was??????? I never felt the effects of living in mormon country more than just then. And when I learned that FILING for divorce alone in the state of Utah is a cool 300 dollars and they give you a 3 month waiting period FUCKING WHAT!!! I know this mentality because I grew up in it but man… I never became more of a feminist than in that moment.

And then my husband absolutely GRILLED me about my therapy session. I lied as best I could about having gone to work on myself but this dude was grilling me hard, he ACTUALLY wanted me to give him the every detail of a therapy session, who the fuck does thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. Needless to say I never went back to that lady or that place.

Sometime in the next couple of days is the 3rd anniversary of me finally telling him, for real, that I wanted to divorce him. That our relationship was over. I have lived every day on survival mode since then. I am beyond miserable I am beyond feelings. Saying I’m a shell of a person is an understatement. I’m letting my life pass me by, hoping that a solution will present itself. I quiet all the voices in my head, imprison all the feelings in my heart, just so that I can remain “stable” and make it through each day without having a panic attack, another fight, or slip further into depression.

[loxxxlay]

I’m not Mormon myself but I’ve watched a lot of youtube videos from a former Mormon and if he heard your story, he would probably say they look at you disapprovingly because they disapprove anybody who goes against their teachings. You don’t have to say or do anything to give them that reason so don’t feel intimidated by them. (They’re probably more afraid of you than you are of them 2bh)

hahahhaa fair enough, and they should be afraid of me. i will fight. (i shout at almost everyone who hates me lmao)

honestly i try to give mormons the benefit of the doubt (and i’m sure in other states, the religion is much less intense and balanced). but the way mormons in general have treated me and my family since i’ve been a kid has been absolutely ridiculous yeah.

my neighbor’s children were not allowed to play with me and my brother because we weren’t mormon. my dad in high school was constantly asked which sect he was in because he wasn’t seen at church, and when he said he wasn’t in a sect, his peers either shunned him or tried to trick him into being baptised/attending church. as an adult, i have been aggressively guilt-tripped/debated with to go to church by many people i’ve encountered. other times, when i was ostracized as a kid, i realized after i grew up that it was Mormon-related.

these are not uncommon experiences. in fact, they are probably the silver lining of experiences.

plus there’s the fact that my state voted republican in the last two elections. and also in general, we have one of the highest youth suicide rates in the country :/ and it’s largely because of the way the church handles lgbt+ people and their families (like u literally have to reject your child in order to continue going to church. doesn’t matter if you’re straight or if your child is a teenager. you have to write a letter disowning them basically. note: this might have changed recently but still)

it’s a fucking clusterfuck hereee.

like, i don’t think a lot of people from other states really understand how pervasively the mormon culture has corrupted our government and society in utah. and i live in a blue district. i can’t imagine what it’s like in provo where the BYU college resides :’)

[mst3kproject]

108: Project Moon Base

Saying ‘fuck this movie’ doesn’t seem like enough, really.  Please take a moment and picture the full Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing it to the tune of Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus.  That should about do it.  I’m gonna say ‘fuck’ an awful lot in this review, like even more than I usually do. I really hate this movie.

This was a very moon episode.  After a couple of dull and suspenseless episodes of Radar Men from the Moon, we get on to Project Moon Base.  In the far future year of 1970, the Enemies of Freedom are working to destroy the UN’s space program.  To do this, they kidnap a Dr. Wernher and replace him with a lookalike, who is ordered to go to the atomic-armed space station and destroy it in a suicide mission. He’ll have crew-mates on his rocket, though – and Major Moore and space program legend Colonel Briteis aren’t going to let him complete his mission without a fight.

Wow, space spy capers and secret plots!  It sounds so exciting when I write it down!  Too bad this movie is actually so dismally fucking cheap and boring.  The KGB apparently works out of a nicely decorated living room somewhere, and the Spacom offices aren’t much better.  Everything is bare walls, clean tables and desks, and giant clocks on the walls, and none of it resembles a place people actually work in.  The actors all look like they’d really prefer to be anywhere else and recite their lines at a fast clip that suggests they’re just trying to get this ordeal over with. Given the characters they were being asked to play, I feel for them.

And then there’s the stuff that’s just fucking surreal, like the skullcaps or propane-tank-headed spacesuits that wouldn’t have been out of place in an episode of Rocky Jones: Space Ranger. Or the fact that the first ‘suspicious’ thing the fake Dr. Wernher does is support the wrong baseball team.  Or the annoying reporter whose name is Polly Prattles (I guess to imply that she endlessly ‘parrots’ everything she’s told?) and who dresses like a disco ball!

About the only thing that really earns any points is that the effects people made a commendable effort to be realistic.  Stuff like the lunar rocket and the frisbee-shaped space station are intended to look practical rather than future-y, and there’s a discussion of orbital mechanics (though it’s confusing and useless to the plot).  Navigation information refers to bright stars like Fomalhaut and Polaris.  Microgravity is mentioned and there’s even a pretty neat shot where characters walk on the ceilings with magnetic-soled boots!  I’m also impressed that they actually filmed some miniatures for their rocket takeoff scene, instead of using the same stock footage we’ve seen in fifty other films.

That’s only a fraction of the movie, though.  The other ninety-eight percent or so I absolutely despise from the very bottom of whatever twisted black abomination remains of my soul, and the reason why is the fucking characters.

The first characters we meet are the villains, although calling them ‘characters’ seems like a stretch.  I’m not entirely sure who any of these people are or who they’re working for… I’m gonna keep calling them the KGB for lack of a better descriptor.  They’re bland men in bland suits who behave as if destroying the capitalist west is just their day job – the bald bellhop guy may say it’s a twenty-four-hour job, but I bet these guys are out of that hotel room the moment the clock clicks to five pm.  Even the guy posing as Dr. Wernher isn’t very interesting.  Shouldn’t at least one of these people have some kind of motivation besides getting paid to do this?  What happened to revenge, or fanatical loyalty to an ideal, or desperation to protect a family who’ll be killed if you don’t comply?

Weirdly, it’s the fake Dr. Wernher who is the closest thing we’re given to a POV character!  We follow him into the hotel to take over from the real scientist, and them learn about the space program in tandem with him.  If not for the opening crawl I’d be wondering if we’re supposed to root for this guy.

Our so-called ‘heroes’ have some more personality, but those personalities are the furthest thing from likable. First there’s Major Moore, a big sulky baby whose masculinity is threatened by Briteis outranking him.  When he finds out he’s been cut from the mission in her favour he whines, and when he finds out he’s been assigned as her co-pilot he whines more because now he’s got to take orders from her.  At the end when they marry, he is promoted to Brigadier General mostly so that he’ll outrank his wife!

Briteis herself is no better – we see a few sides of her and they’re all terrible.  She pisses and moans about not wanting to interact with Moore, either, and then engages in passive-aggressive dick-measuring contests with him while the two of them are supposed to be flying a spacecraft and saving the free world.  You almost can’t blame him for his jealousy when she takes every possible opportunity to rub things in his face.  When things go wrong she manages to land on the moon, but then becomes a breathless damsel in distress, leaving Moore to make all the decisions… and then when they’re saved, she reverts right back to whining.

(Yes, by the way, the non-MST3K edit does show them actually landing, and no, it's not very exciting.)

The General in charge of these two is an ass, as well.  He basically guilts Moore into accepting an assignment he doesn’t want, and when Briteis protests it as well, he tells her to shut up and then threatens to spank her.  These people are supposed to be members of the military, an organization that is associated with rigid discipline, efficient organization, and a strict chain of command, and yet they display less professionalism than kids at a lemonade stand.  Jesus Christ, how about we just let the bad guys take over the world?  They at least have some fucking dignity.

The moment we discover Briteis is a woman is supposed to be a big surprise, since the characters have carefully avoided any gendered language so far – this seems to hint that we are looking at a future where equality of the sexes has been achieved, but what we see after that quickly disabuses us of the notion.  Not only is Colonel Briteis treated like a misbehaving child in spite of her rank, but we’re told that the only reason women are allowed in the space program is to save weight – though not in the case of Prattles, who is told to her face that she’s too fat to go!

In questioning Briteis about how she pilots the spacecraft, Wernher actually treats her with more respect in her expertise than any other character.  Are we sure we’re not rooting for this guy?

Of course the idea of Moore taking Briteis with him to set up the communications relay instead of Wernher never even comes up, despite the fact that she must be infinitely more qualified and much less likely to try to kill him.  This whole sequence is weirdly mis-used.  We’re expecting Wernher to either try to sabotage things somehow, or for Moore to believe he will do so and a fight to result.  I guess it’s more realistic, seeing as how the survival of both men depends on the relay, that they cooperate successfully – but if that were supposed to be the case, then why does Wernher die in a total accident, falling from a rock and cracking his helmet open?  It doesn’t resolve anything, it’s just a quick and lazy way of getting rid of the character so we can focus on Moore and Briteis and I don’t wanna focus on them.

Wernher’s death also leaves the audience sitting through the last part of the movie without any idea why we’re still watching this.  The villain’s dead, so why isn’t the movie over?  Even if we didn’t hate Moore and Briteis, we’ve actually known Wernher for longer and the movie was set up as if his mission and its defeat were the main storyline.  If he’d been dealt with in a more satisfying manner, either by changing loyalties, or by being killed or recaptured in a way that felt like a victory, it would be easier to move on with the rest of the story.

The final ‘fuck you’ from this movie’s sexual politics is the revelation at the end that the President of the United States is also a woman.  You know what that means?  That means the writers thought they really were showing us a gender-equal future!  They honestly believe that women in positions of power really will freak out and automatically turn to the men for help when things go wrong.  They seriously think that women holding high ranks in the military will be threatened with spankings by their superior officers and that’s completely okay.  And then when you watch the movie again, the scene where Briteis tells the General that the President has ordered Polly Prattles be admitted just looks like a bunch of girls ganging up on a boy they don't like.

Quite a bit of effort went into the effects in Project Moon Base and into its idea of the future (note how they predicted cordless phones!), but it was all wasted on bad actors, shitty sets, and a script that feels like a first draft.  Nothing in the film comes across as properly concluded – not the space mission, not Wernher, and certainly not the love story between Moore and Briteis.  Fuck this movie.  Fuck, fuck, fuck this fucking movie.  Fuck everyone who made it, fuck MST3K for bringing it to my attention, and fuck me for watching it again!  Fuck.

[fortjester]

Musicals As Vines

The 25th Annual Putnam Spelling Bee: Iridocylcitis

A Chorus Line: Oh my gosh, Marlene, your speech was so good. ReAlLy CaUsE i DiDn’T eVeN lIkE iT iT wAs JuSt ImPrOv AnD i JuSt- OH MY GOD WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TAKE THE FREAKING COMPLIMEEEEEENT

The Addams Family: go ahead and pull it through *cat paw through a hole pulls a cord through*

A Gentleman’s Guide To Love and Murder: WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD! what the fuck dude? we’re trying to sleep. *hysterical laughter*

Amélie: *A sweet saxophone solo* Hi, welcome to Chili’s

American Psycho: dETECTIVE THIS IS A CRIME SCENE. WHAT, IS THIS THE MURDER WEAPON? GET OFF MY D I C K

Anastasia: Who’s that Pokémon? IT’S PIKACHU! It’s Clefairy! F U C K!

Annie: PARENTS EXCUSE MY POTTY MOUTH, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Avenue Q: ShAwTy I dOn’T M I N D/that Nanalan vine where she says fuck

Bandstand: *toy cat on the floor* and i DONT WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME *cats neck extends horrifically*

The Bands Visit: GET TO DEL TACO. THEY GOT A NEW THING CALLED FRE SHA *giggles uncontrollably* FRE SHA VOC ADO

Bare; A Pop Opera: welcome to bible studies, we’RE ALL CHILDREN OF JESUS! KUMBAYAAAAAA MY LORD-/Two bros, chillin’ in a hot tub, five feet apart, ‘cause they’re not gay

Be More Chill: Hey, bro, what do you want to eat? THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT- a bagel NO- two bagels

Billy Elliot: *That kid dancing in a far off elevator*

Bonnie and Clyde: Just put the money in the bag. Okay, do you have a bag? We had to bring our own bag? How inconvenient.

Book Of Mormon: I WANT A CHURCH GIRL WHO GO TO CHURCH, AND REEEAD HER BIIIIBLE

Bring It On: PATRICIA! Get it together sweetie, we have a show tomorrow

Cabaret: Two shots of vodka *glug glug glug glug glug*

Carrie: HoW dO yOu KnOw WhAt’S gOoD fOr Me? THAT’S MY O P I N I ON

Catch Me If You Can: *screaming* WHY RE YOU RUNNING? W H Y AREYOURUNNING?

Cats: Dress for the job you want! Oh, you want to be a vet? No, I want to be a cat.

Chess: hi, thanks for checking in, I’m still a piece of garbage!

Chicago: YOU READY TO FUCKING DIE, BITCH? NAH, I’M A BAD BITCH, YOU CAN’T KILL ME!

Come From Away: Canadian animals can be extremely dangerous, but if you respect them, they'll respect you. What the fuck - get OFF THE CAR, YOU STUPID MOOSE

Dear Evan Hansen: *Kid in a tree* Dad, I’m scared! Do you trust me, son? Yes. *Kid falls out of tree, dad turns to camera* Rule number one, never trust anyone/kEVIN, WATCH THE LIGHT, DUDE. wATCH THE LIGHT. *Kevin pauses, and then smashes his pillow into the light, breaking it*

Dogfight: Sarah? Yeah? Never fight and ugly girl; she’s got nothing to lose. Okay, grandma

Evita: *Screaming in a shopping trolley as it rolls out of control in a parking lot*

Falsettos: *Slow zoom in* *doorbell* OOOOoOOoooOOOOOO

Fiddler on the Roof: I WANT A TEMPLE GIRL, WHO GO TO TEMPLE, AND REEEEAD HER TOOOORAH

Finding Neverland: *Frantic recorder playing in a parked car*

Fun Home: Dad? Is this where you’ve been for the past ten years? *dad sinks back into blackness* DAD N O/*Just that vine of the dad talking on the phone while his kid tries to play frisbee with him and him slapping the frisbee out of the air whenever it comes near him*

Grease: baby it’s You You’Re the ONe I LoVE YOU’RE THE ONE I N E E D

Groundhog Day: It was a gopher, and it was controlling time. I had to shoot it, yeah, I did

Gypsy: Where do you want to get a healthy snack, Rebecca? I want Chipotle. I said a hEALTHY SNACK-

Hadestown: *discordant strum* I love you bitch *discordant strum* I ain't never gonna stop loving you, b I t ch

Hairspray: This land is your land. This land is my land. This land is your land. THIS LAND IS MY LAND, THIS LAND IS MY LAND

Hamilton: So, basically, what I was thinking was *slap* oH fUcK i CaN’t BeLiEvE yOu’Ve DoNe ThIs

Heathers: Don’t tell your mother. Kiss one another? DIE FOR EACH OTHER! *Falls out of chair*/*Guy walking out of 7/11, trips, spills slurpee* SHIT

In The Heights: Zach stop/so, as it turns out, I’m not going to college, I’m going to hell, I’m, uh, not excited

Into The Woods: *screams at kid coming around corner* *kid screams and then stares at the camera in a pissed off way*/oh, I would, but I've just got too much to do, tonight *cuts to him chugging beer and playing a synth on his bed*

Jesus Christ Superstar: I brought you frankincense. Thank you. And I brought you...mhyr. Thank you. MHYR-DUR! *sassy gasp* JUDAS, N O!/Don’t cross me, shout out to Jesus...what rhymes with Jesus?

Joseph and His Amazing Technicolour Coat: *Shovelling snow and slips and falls for six seconds before recovering, miraculously*

Kinky Boots: *Crashing noises* *Door opens* I got new shoes

Legally Blonde: Girl, you’re thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.

Les Miserables: wElL wHeN lIfE gIvEs YoU lEmOnS *fun jingle*

The Lion King: Be nice to the babies *cat pushes one kitten off the dresser* NO

Little Shop of Horrors: Put that candy back, I’m not buying you all that mess. OOP, TRY ME BITCH

Matilda: What’s the one thing worse than a rapist? BOOM. A cHiLd. N O-

Mean Girls: *scoffs* you can’t sit here! Actually, Megan, I can’t sit ANYWHERE, I have hemorrhoids

Miss Saigon: daddy? DO I LOOK LIKE-

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812: What have you got for me, today, Mr Postman? Just this LETTER! JOhn I don’t love you

Newsies: BACK AT IT AGAIN AT KRISPY KREME *flips*/what does it say? Hot boy. HOT BOY HOT BOY HOTBOYHOTBOY

Next to Normal: Dad, look, it’s the good kush! This is the dollar store, how good can it be?/THAT’S IT, GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE, GET UP THERE! THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING N I G H T M A R E!

Once On This Island: We all die, you either kill yourself or get killed. WATCHA GONNA DO? WATCHA GONNA DO?

Phantom of the Opera: Dad, I found my new favourite song. *Opening chords of Phantom of the Opera* *dad looks disappointed and vaguely uncomfortable*

Pippin: I wish I could fly away and never come back! Your wish is granted. I miss my xbox

Rent: *All the soft drinks into one cup* Fuck you/*Completely Giving Up, starring Me*

Rocky Horror Picture Show: Wait a minute. Who ARE you?

Singin' In The Rain: *just that guy skipping down the street to that Lady Gaga song*

Sound Of Music: *class full of students singing along to a piano* AW SKEET SKEET MOTHERFUCKER, AW SKEET SKEET, GODDAMN

Spongebob Squarepants: What if my nose was *gasps* Hello i’m squidward haHahA *Begins to cry*/SQUIDWARD! *Squidward dabs* *fans scream*

Spring Awakening: What happened while I was gone? Yo Jessica had three kids. What? I was gone for a day! She been fucking./When we gonna churn butter and chill? EZEKIEL! After my chores

Sweeney Todd; the Demon Barber of Fleet Street: WHEN WILL YOU LEARN? WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES? *screams*

Urinetown: *Kermit sitting on a log* 3 2 1! *water gets poured on him, cuts to him falling off a building*/*kid with a mullet bottle flips a wine glass and dabs, with Mad World playing in the background*

Waitress: I can’t give you the display bagel; it’s not real. TASTY. N O

Wicked: And they were roommates. Oh My GoD tHeY wErE rOoMaTeS

[dreamsanddreams88]

We bought chickens AND bunnies at the same time, really hectic,I was tryna cuddle the bunnies but they would bite sometimes. At one point, in AC origins game trying to hide in a house full of Roman ppl from one of the phylakites that was killing everyone indiscriminately, very scary. I was female character, did the cool thing where i cut ropes on a chandelier and rode the other rope up onto something, one handed. Then i was in airport with alex, we had gone to Japan but then I got freaked out cuz of Corona and we both forgot towear masks

I was in a thrift store and didnt like any of the stuff I grabbed so I went to put it back n leave cuz I was only on lunch break anyway, the shop girl made snide remark about my hair needing to be dyed? She was like, thanks for coming in, come back when ur hair doesnt suck or something. I said fuck you and your orange hair, cuz it was dyed red and faded, but I stuttered n she made fun of it. But then she followed me cuz we all had to go to some meeting? N she was a little nicer. Sat at these tables waiting for alex, we were about to see a show with a drag queen. It was in a mall or something

Was at west again but getting lost, then was back in 4th grade maybe? Looking for new class? Then I was starting to date alex but someone else like jenna was in the room with us, he was spooning me but trying to be secret, jenna thought we were fucking, also I took a shower w him but needed another one, I had taken like 3 showers that day. I was staying w my family somewhere in hotel maybe. Then saw this girl I thought maybe was his ex katie, creeped on her instagram she actually was mixed black girl w blonde hair, was cheerleader n basketball player, really badass and mean. Brian lemaster was in there somewhere. Ar some point I started drinking juice boxes filled with milk before remebering I was lactose intolerant

Dreamed I was signing up for a matchmaking service to get married? It was via snail mail, and it was all girls who were mostly indian I think, or maybe bosnian. One girl was named Imina and sent me some of my writing that she edited, I found it very snooty and rude. Also had accepted someone else before seeing I had a letter from her. Also something with different video games that were scary, but all took place in the same house. One was 5 nights at freddy's themed, one was victorian ghosts, etc.

Was going on charter bus with work and other ppl, were leaving my old house. Kept forgetting my earbuds, went back in to see maids deep cleaning the whole place. Bus went out into cold winter wilderness? I made friends w bus driver, guy looked like william h Macy a little bit. Then i was Rey, kylo ren had captured me and was gonna make me squirt bleach into my eyes so I'd be blind, fought him off and escaped thru the back of a cupboard. He was on island surrounded by stormy sea, freezing cold, and big blocks of calcium formations kept crumbling into it. Force ghost Luke Skywalker appeared to me to tell me death was real but I could escape. Then I was with jenna or sarah, went to hotel looking 4 my parents, nice old ladies were telling me they saw my lost mittens or something? I brushed them off super rude

Was in big house with mafia family. Lots of cars n helicopters falling out of sky, crashing thru glass ceilings. Trying to leave the house, calling business guy when a car falls on him owned by one of the mafia guys. Smthn with a chef from the house, hes really strict when teaching kids how to cook, indian food cant have lemon juice in it? I was licking the glaze off raw chicken and salmon

Was in Laos in war zone, Belgians were bombing the shit out of it and these rare plants called dragon plants were burning, it was way sad. Then it was xmas at parents house but also dads bday, had to help mom take down all xmas decor temporarily until we could open dads presents. Also I didnt trim my zucchini plants and one was like 12 feet tall. Then at work taking break on some huge metal train. Also something about being in some state or royal building, running or hiding from someone

Was with alex in old doornbos house, he was asking me who was in my "network" meaning who had I slept with. I said a bunch of people and he got mad, I was high and tried to explain it was in the past not current. Then I was in theater at the high school across the road, had an improv scene with abby thomas but hadn't rehearsed at all. Went to rehearsal, everybody from hs was there, dawson was teacher, saw shelby drive past. Then smthn about walking bay in the mountains, were super high up in the snow and saw other ppl walking dogs

Something about having traded bodies with ian brauer when we were younger? Or not even traded, I had somehow accidentally possessed him and then had to go to school and pretend like I was him, and then only when I concentrated really hard I went back to my own body which was passed out on the floor of my room.

In a school, had brought imhotep back 2 life n he brought back his gf so we tried running and hiding. Then he was darth Vader and he caught me. Then dream about being on wild ferris wheel kinda ride with mom and Lauren who was sometimes aunt ellen, then in a family of talking dolphins whose step mom was a whale, the dad was joking about how him and the mom might perish at the bottom of the ocean. Then something about a demon possessed lady

Scary dream 1st where I was out walking at night in the forest, looked kinda like lower area of ECOS. The light in a street lamp didnt work, had to use flashlight. Alex showed up with bay who was now a white shih tzu, a frat guy in skeleton costume ran over to scare us. Then I lived in this village/tribe, everyone had hotel rooms kinda. I was back in town going to everyone's rooms, my mom had a room next to mine but she was gone somewhere. Then we were playing guitars, I picked up someones weird acoustic base to try and play. Then I got invite from JC, him and his friends were having a joint wedding in 2026, invite looked like DND character sheet. I was in the forest when scary evil ash cloud exploded out from the ground, kinda like in neverending story or moana. Ran back to village and was safe inside this like, sacred circle? It meant that I was actually the next in line to be the tribal chief. The tribe purposely kept everyone's parentage a secret so it was like the whole village was our parents, but this meant my dad was this one rando young guy who wasnt even the chief? Anyway he hugged me and it was emotional. It meant I had this prophetic duty to defeat these creepy evil eels like in the little mermaid. The water/ocean was this weird quad, with each quadrant being a different depth and color blue. I had to scuba dive to the bottom on a certain date to fight them, matthew/mikey was gonna hold my breathing tubes or something? If I tugged twice he could pull me back up.

In world where mr bean guy was a king n had lots of bodyguards, he was taking on corrupt religious mormon police like in Utah who rode camels and abducted like 500 people for slavery.

Had private teacher lady for something, 8 of us. I couldnt concentrate on test. She gave me spare key to let her dog out, i go in her house and the skylights are open and room full of snow. Then she has dinner party with me, snape, Adonis, michelle/jenn, and a doctor. Ends in screaming match, I'm mad cuz Michelle keeps flirting w Adonis by dropping shit on purpose and making him pick them up. Then I go to doc about weird vaginal discharge and being depressed, hes kind of a quack and doesnt help or listen. Then I was trying to get job at restaurant but all the servers had been at the party and thought I was crazy. Also smthn bout seeing a concert and shawn goggins was in it, jc and elliot were there and I started laughing at him about how that was a girl he cheated on me with but she turned out to be a trans man so he had sex with a dude

I was in world like video game level, in a class w people. Started in weird castle that had secret passages, and then onto these floating balloons above black holes. Tried to jump from one to the other without falling, very scary. Then with alex in a hallway, waiting for some event to start. We climbed up to ledge where there was like a gem/ring stockpile, I started stealing them. Mcgonagall was there and saw us, I was too afraid of heights to climb down. Then event was starting but it was some creepy cult wearing animal masks, I had to pretend like I knew what was happening

[thenextchapterbegins]

6am izuku thoughts

and i had a revelation in my sleep deprived state

i figured out why i have this really hard time connecting with izuku because immah be honest ive been wanting to add izuku to the blog for a good heccin while here but something in me has always been iffy and i realized it. 

His childhood strikingly reminds me of my own. like alot actually

izuku went to a shitty school and was bullied by peers and his best friend for being different his teachers didnt care or activly inticed others to bully him. He then went to highschool and found what real friendships should look like

and that strikingly with my own past. Preface i have a social disorder.

As a kiddo i went to a school in a highly mormon neighborhood and kids being assholes because i was different and things for me didnt click i was heavily bullied without really knowing i was being bullied. I had two friends one was a little bit crazy and one is actually the cliche jock bully you know rich family, set for life sorta fucking deal. 

And during my schooling of ur first 1-12th before jr high i was basically izuku i never got like beat up and my best friend didnt shoot explosives at me and i can sorta say i was a bit observant and always rattling around in my skull like he did.

But students bullied me because i wasnt of the faith, i was different i didnt understand things. my “friends” would become my friends one day then run away and ignore me the rest i was so gullible back then i didnt understand or maybe i didnt want to accept it and like izuku i didnt tell my parents because i didnt want to cause trouble or stress.

Teachers basically mocked me, yelled at me when i didnt understand i cried alot in class. Eventually my mom went to check up on me drove to like..there was a street at the far end of the recess area by like this giant tree and a gated fence seperated the road and us and my mom found me like sitting alone all sad and shit near this giant EPIC ASS TREE. it was fucking a bomb ass tree ngl.

She tried to help but the teachers didnt really care and it was during that time where autism was beginning to be like “hey this might actually be a thing” i think it was before like autism speaks or whateveer and eventually after many failed attempts and honestly my parents were fucking awesome for fighting for me so harshly during my like 10th year i moved schools to  a school with a proto like autism class.

After i moved schools and i got systems that helped me learn and actually makes friends i learned that my 2 best friends werent my best friends. The crazy one was he was better but his family life and all that didnt make him the most stable of people very wild and crazy. Great guy but not a dependable friend and the jock friend i realized was a bully and knowing for so long i was so gullible and so easy to be manipluated i vowed to never allow myself to be bullied again.

And thats the disconnect i had with izuku is even though i feel like we have this connection because of our pasts but i cant rp izuku as the dumbass kid who still respects and calls the person who nearly killed him for half of his life as something he associates as his best friend and it wouldnt be strange of me to like make an slightly au version of a more “i wont let u be my punching bag” anymore” but actually go through with that and make bakugo have to earn izukus friendship again. 

but yah it was a strange revelation to have at 6am in a sleep deprived state but now ive realized it i think it will help me when i think up my own au version of izuku to rp. XD

[skepticraven]

There is No War on Christmas

It’s nearly that time of year again. The time of year that Fox News will begin whining about the war on Christmas and let’s be honest, they never stop whining about Christian persecution. Let me be perfectly clear: There is no war on Christmas. Fox just expects their ideology to be able to dominate ever inch of the public and private domain and then gets cranky when they can’t completely control everything everyone say or does. Christians are not being persecuted in America. In fact Christians make up the overwhelming majority of the United State’s population. They also possess the overwhelming majority of the political power. Out of the entire Senate and House of Representatives (535 people), there are 6 Mormons, 8 Jews, 3 unaffiliated, 1 Buddhist, ZERO Muslims, ZERO Hindus, ZERO Pagans, Zero Atheists. The people labeled unaffiliated does not mean they are atheists, it means not a member of a church or have chosen not to declare a theological stance publicly. I know for sure at least 2 of the unaffiliated individuals were raised Christian. As for the supreme court, since it began in 1789, there have been 91 Protestant judges and 13 Catholic judges out of 113 total justices. There are 5 Catholics, 1 Protestant, and 3 Jews currently serving as supreme court justices. Trump claims to be a Christian which I’d take with a grain of salt but he does seem to espouse a lot of the political stances of conservative Christians in most situations and he certainly has harped on about having people say Merry Christmas again (instead of Happy Holidays).

So why do I say, there is no war on Christmas? To start, Christmas is a national holiday. Most businesses close on Christmas Eve and/or Christmas Day (with the exception of like Hospitals, Police Stations, an occasional diner or convenience store). Do you see the entire country closing down on Ramadan? Nope. For weeks, and sometimes months, prior to Christmas, everywhere you go its, “Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells. Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.” That music takes over entire radio stations that otherwise play decent music. You can’t escape those insufferable, cheery, can’t-get-it-out-of-your-head tunes. I used to work at a Hallmark store in high school and they played Christmas “music” 8 fucking months out of the year. (By the ended the day, I would have had to restrain myself from gouging out my ear drums, about half a dozen times. Its took me 5 years to stop involuntarily singing Christmas music in the shower after I quit). Every store or business in the country has big ass Christmas sales where people routinely trample and assault people, just so they can get a fucking Tickle-Me-Elmo or something. Some businesses spend an obscene amounts of money to dress the building up with more flashing lights and sparkly crap than a cheap strip club. 

The fact that there are grown adults getting their panties in knot over someone wishing them, “Happy Holidays” is a special kind of stupid. I’ve come to the conclusion, we really have got to just start taking obvious warning labels off products. You know, like the warning label on a jar of peanut butter that says, “Warning: Product contains nuts.” The anti-happy holidays crowd is clearly who those labels are intended for. So take em’ off and let nature take its course. And honestly, what kind of snowflakery is this? Talk about first world problems! Happy holidays is just an expression, GET OVER IT. It isn’t even a new phrase and its not like it was invented by stores to somehow “oppress” Christians. It’s a phrase that's been around and used in relation to Christmas for more than a hundred years. Here's an ad from the Philadelphia Inquirer on December 5, 1863:

Many stores do opt for employees to greet customers with Happy Holidays because there are many other secular and religious Holidays around that time of year, like: 

Kwanzaa (an African American holiday) 

Hanukkah (a Jewish holiday) 

Omisoka (a Japanese holiday) 

Yule (a Pagan holiday)  

Bodhi Day (a Buddhist holiday 

Mawlid el-Nabi (an Islamic holiday) 

Zarathosht Diso (a Zoroastrian holiday) 

Pancha Ganapati (a Hindu holiday) 

And of course, New Years Eve/Day (A Secular Holiday). 

Plus there are a string of other Christian Holidays around the time of Christmas:  

Saint Nicholas Day (general Christian holiday) 

Immaculate Conception (primarily Catholic holiday) 

Advent (pertains primarily to Orthodox Christians) 

Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe (pertains primarily to Mexican Catholics) 

Posadas Navidenas (primarily a Hispanic Christian holiday) 

Feast of the Holy Family (primarily a Catholic holiday) 

Holy Innocents Day (a general Christian Holiday 

And Watch Night which is like the Christian version of New Years Eve- minus the getting hammered part, I assume. lol. 

“Happy Holidays” is a way to give your well wishes for whichever holidays happen to apply who you are talking to. It is every bit as applicable to a Christian as it is to a Muslim or a Pagan or an Atheist, etc. We can’t always tell someone’s religion when you are just looking at them so its a way of not making assumptions. Some of these super right wings folks expect people to use the phrase “Merry Christmas” at all times. In fact, if it were up them you’d say “Merry Christmas” when you are talking to a middle eastern woman in Hijab. Because that woman is supposed to get over someone using a phrase that excludes them, while the ultra-conservative individual can’t even get over a greeting that includes them. The funny thing is, I’ve accidentally said “Merry Christmas” to people who I knew weren’t Christian (just out of habit, rather than intention) and they are pretty cool about it. However, I have had my head bitten off a handful of times over the years for saying “Happy Holidays” to Christians. Not every time obviously, but probably like 3-4 times and I’ve heard people in a group talking about it as they leave a couple more times. Once, at my last job, I had middle aged man practically try to shake my hand and acted like I was some kind brave rebel to I say “Merry Christmas” and then they tried to start a conversation me about how unfair is that people “don’t say Merry Christmas anymore” and quote “This is a Christian country” etc. etc. etc. That is a bad position to be in as a server because your tip depends on them liking you and there is no graceful way to bow out of that. Frankly that is just as uncomfortable as getting my head bit off because I have to fight the urge to tell him that America was never a Christian country (even if there were a lot of Christians) and ask what is so wrong with “Happy Holidays?” I mean, of course a lot of stores want employees to say Happy Holidays! They are there to make money! They want to be inclusive so that woman in hijab wants to buy her shit there. “Happy holidays is a polite greeting. If you’re going to be a snowflake about it, next time I see you, I’ll call you “Hey asshole” instead if you are going to get triggered regardless. 

I also want to reject the idea that stores ever stopped completely saying “Merry Christmas.” I hear “Merry Christmas” as much or more than “Happy Holidays.” Maybe some places have stopped but most of the big ones haven’t. Case and point:

Walmart

Walmart Again

Macy’s

JCPenny’s

Sear’s

Old Navy

Toy’s R Us

McDonald’s

Burger King

Best Buy