#but i think in this case while the writers may have seemingly forgotten for this episode

[ilkkawhat]

10.06 Death and the Maiden

[obeymebutcursed]

This isn't cursed but I have a desperate need to share and you're the first blog I clicked on. Also spoiler warning

General conclusion in the fandom with Asmo is that he's a narcissist as a cover up for being insecure with his personality. The game does a little to support that with his arc in season 2 but if I'm being honest when he was called out on for not liking his personality, he wasn't that broken up about it? You'd suspect if he was covering it up for thousands of years he'd be seriously breaking down when people find out. So, I have a different theory.

Nobody talks about it too much but near the end of season 2, it was mentioned that he had a really bad breakup in the past, apparently so bad that Solomon had to take care of him after. It's also mentioned several times how Asmo is actually really good at dealing with his brothers when they're upset. So, I think he's less a delusional mess and more recovered from the break up, using his exadurated self love as a coping mechanism.

What do you think?

I'm going to start this off by saying that I haven't actually played through most if not all of the newer released lessons, so unfortunately I know little about the actual lore in full, but I luckily don't mind spoilers, and my friend has given me a little insight.

My opinion will be under the cut so I don't need to worry about overdoing it or being a nerd or anything because I'm a mental health junkie and enjoy knowledge and educating.

I should also mention I'm not a psychologist by any means.

Again, this is my personal breakdown of Asmo and his narcissistic personality, having not really went through lessons after like 25 (I'm so so so behind I know.) because I've forgotten lessons existed for a long while.

Beware, this is going to be a long one. But I promise it is worth the read. You may even learn something.

~

Okay so let me start this by breaking down the possible stem of Asmo's narcissistic behavior in my opinion, based on some of the research I've done on NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and what little I know about Asmo's time as an angel. (Thanks to a dear friend I have seen spoilers from recent lessons so I'm not going into this totally blind.)

I believe it began in the Celestial Realm. Asmo was praised, complimented, and grew up with a very high self-worth. He was named the "Jewel of the Heavens", so clearly people valued his looks. Assumably this would lead to a spike in his idea of his own self-value. The beginning of narcissistic behaviors.

If a child grows up with an unrealistic point of view of their high self-worth granted by the high praise of others, they're very likely to develop NPD with that mindset. I assume that Asmo's compliments didn't just suddenly happen when he was a bit older. I can imagine it started from a young age. Which would feed that feeling of overconfidence and overwhelming love for oneself.

Now, given that Asmo was seen as someone incredibly beautiful and of high stature, upon his fall into Devildom, it would be an incredible shock, as while he is still beautiful, he is different, changed, and may not have gotten the same attention he did in the Celestial Realm. This would result in a flood of insecurity about his image, wondering why the others didn't see him as such an amazing and great being, as well as his own idea of himself changing with his new appearance.

Let me now get into the hidden insecurity thing.

As someone who has dealt with insecurity for a long time, I'm not sure if being called out on it would necessarily break me down, regardless of how long I've been hiding it. Yeah being called out would sting, and it wouldn't feel right, but also breaking down would mean vulnerability, thus showing that extra insecurity that you may be trying to hide.

Not to mention, people who live with NPD are less likely to show that vulnerable and insecure side to them, as that is exactly what they have been trying to hide for so many years.

So using his narcissistic behavior as a coping mechanism and mask for his insecurity is still very much plausible for Asmo, especially if it already in his mindset that he is above everyone else in beauty and such.

About your theory, I do agree that it is incredibly interesting.

I can see where this theory would come into play. It would be a good lesson for people, should this theory be the case for him. Using self love as a way to cope after a painful breakup or traumatic experience is in fact a better way to manage the stress, pain, loss, and other emotions that a person may feel.

However, I will say, Asmo does still go a bit over the top.

Self love is amazing, yes, but when it comes to a point where you are prioritizing yourself and your looks over just about everything else, it teeters on the line of narcissism.

A breakup with trauma and pain so bad can hurt a person's mental health. Thus leading to an insecurity increase. Said insecurity can be thought to be fixed by using copious amounts of self love and self worship, which then, if overwhelming enough, could very well lead to a mask of narcissism to hide the underlying insecurity a person feels.

Tying back into the already formed narcissistic behavior, if Asmo were to somehow open himself up and see through the narcissism, then have this happen and revert back to feeling insecure, it would come back to him as a clutch. A way of coping because he obviously felt great joy being praised, and it will feel even better when he is hurting. He needs someone as well as himself, to tell him that he is enough, and usually confident people are seen to be happier and more praise worthy for being "happy with themselves". Hopefully that makes sense.

As for him helping his brothers, I believe his knowledge of dealing with his brothers when upset stems from knowing his own personal experiences and not wanting to put others in that situation. He is very loving and kind, so this very well may be the case. Not to mention the years of studying them and really getting to know them and how they act. This probably runs true with most of them, they just fail to act on it or see it.

Being a narcissist does not mean you're incapable of helping and being empathetic with others. In most cases it is shown differently, as the connections are harder to grasp, and most narcissists are unwilling to empathize because they want to keep their vulnerability in check.

Narcissism, when really settled, is hard to change. But perhaps years of experience for Asmo has helped him see through some of it and learned how to better manage it so it's not too much all the time. Surely his brothers would learn how to help him, what works, and what doesn't.

I personally believe regardless, Asmo's narcissistic behavior does still stem from an insecurity issue and programmed unintentional behavior and mindset as a young angel.

It also may just be the case of that's how the writers just thought to write him and there is no real proper explanation.

Whatever the case may be, Asmo is a very strong yet underrated and seemingly underused and overlooked character.

I do hope whatever mess of knowledge that just dumped out of my brain makes sense and is somewhat of an answer of what you were looking for.

I apologize that this is so incredibly long. 😬

[nayutai]

The Task At Hand

Pairing Mingyu x Female OC

Word Count 15.1k

Warnings mentions of infidelity, mentions of racism, foul language, anxiety, insecurities, therapy sessions, dumbasses in love, light choking, dry humping

Summary The first year of marriage is always the hardest. Unfortunately for Mingyu and Kamile, the first year as husband and wife may also be their last. 

Notes This absolute behemoth of a fic is my contribution to The Intimacy Anthology where I, along with many other fantastic writers, have explored intimacy in all of its many forms. This fic is incredibly close to my heart and I hope that you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please check out the other stories featured in the project here as well! 

Mingyu fumbles with his keys in the dark as he searches for the one that’ll get him into his house. The alcohol coursing through his system is making this very simple task a lot harder than it needs to be. He shouts victoriously when he finally manages to unlock the front door to stumble inside. He freezes when he hears someone clapping slowly off to his right.

“Two minutes and forty seven seconds. That didn’t take you as long as I thought it would but then again you have been good at finishing quickly these days.” Mingyu groans deep in his throat at the scathing words from the woman staring him down from the love seat in the living room. She lifts a glass of what he can only assume is white wine to her lips, draining it quickly. 

“I’m too drunk for your bullshit tonight, Kamile.” Mingyu grunts as he leans back against the door to steady himself while he toes his sneakers off. All he wants to do is crawl up the stairs to the guest room he’s been sleeping in so that he can go to sleep. He rolls his eyes when he hears Kamile clear her throat from across the room. If he knows anything about his wife, nothing good is about to come out of her mouth. 

“If you didn’t want to hear my bullshit then maybe you should’ve shown up for dinner with my parents tonight.” The venom in her voice makes Mingyu’s blood run cold. He’d totally forgotten about her mother’s birthday dinner tonight. Fuck. As much as he hates to hear her nagging him, even he has to admit that he deserves it this time. This dinner has been planned for months and he should’ve been there. 

He forces his eyes to focus when he looks back over at the brooding woman shooting daggers at him from across the room. It’s then he registers the fact that she’s still fully dressed despite the late hour. Kamile is a huge proponent of being comfortable within the walls of her own home and for her to sit in a dress and heels as she waits on his appearance does not bode well for him in the slightest. He’s surprised that she hasn’t launched her wine glass at his head.

“Whatever or whoever you were out doing,” Kamile rises slowly from the couch, impressively steady in her heels despite the bottle of wine she ran through waiting on her neglectful husband to come home. Silence stretches between them interrupted only by the damning clicks of her shoes against the hardwood flooring. Kamile stops to appraise the man she married when she reaches him, wondering where it all went wrong. 

“…I hope it was worth it.” She silences his groveling with a raised hand. She’s tired of the arguing. Tired of the excuses. Just tired in general. 

Most people would have some sort of emotional response to this but her exhaustion leaves nothing but an empty void in its wake. Mingyu may as well be yelling at a brick wall for all the response he gets from Kamile as she slowly climbs the stairs. The sound of the bedroom door clicking shut echoing around the house may as well have been a gunshot.

“One more thing for her to hold over my fucking head.” Mingyu grumbles as he slowly blazes his own trail up the stairs. He pauses before the closed door to the bedroom they once shared, hand gripping the doorknob in his hand as he contemplates going in to apologize. “What’s the use? Not like she’d listen to me now anyway.”

The bed in the guest room welcomes him like an old friend when he flops down on it, draining him of his energy. Thoughts of how he’ll fix things in the morning drift through his head. Sleep evens out his features, lulling him into a peaceful slumber despite the fact that he’s still fully clothed. The perfect cover for the plans being set in motion right down the hall. 

The sun rouses Mingyu from his sleep way before he’s ready. He could’ve sworn that the curtains were pulled closed when he went to bed but it’s hard to know what’s what when you’re three sheets to the wind at god only knows what time. Blindly, he reaches out for his phone where he’d left it on the nightstand but comes up with a piece of paper instead. It takes a minute for his eyes to focus enough to read the words on the page, but when they do he finds himself bolting for the ensuite bathroom. The offensive piece of stationary gently drifting to the ground as if it hasn’t just ruined his life.

He heaves and wretches until he has nothing left to give. His knees buckle several times as he tries to brush his teeth which is an incredibly difficult task to complete when one is sobbing with everything they have. This can’t be happening. He refuses to believe that this is his reality. Mingyu’s heart sinks even lower when he drags himself back to the bedroom and sees Kamile’s  wedding ring on the night stand next to his phone. He retrieves the letter from where it rests on the floor, reading it over until the tears he’d fought back make a reappearance.

Doing this feels incredibly impersonal but I feel like it’s probably better this way. I realized that the flame I thought would burn forever is barely a spark anymore. Tonight was an epiphany for me. I realize that I deserve better and I’ve decided that I will have it. I’ve always wished you joy and light and I will probably never stop doing that despite everything that’s happened but I can’t do it as your wife anymore. 

Take care,

Kamile Dexter

The usage of her maiden name feels like the final nail in his coffin. He calls. He texts. He emails. He even sends her a message on instagram. Every single attempt to reach her goes unanswered. Anyone could see that things hadn’t been the best between them for a while, but never in his most horrific nightmares did Mingyu think that Kamile would actually leave. 

Time is irrelevant to Mingyu in the days that follow Kamile’s departure. He wakes up when his alarm goes off and drifts through the day. His nights are spent calling Kamile despite the fact that she never answers which then leads to him drinking himself into an alcohol-induced sleep complete with all the blessed numbness that it provides until his alarm goes off once more. This is without a doubt the lowest point of his life and he doesn’t know how to fix it. Kamile grew up with Vernon so naturally Mingyu tries to enlist his help. Unfortunately, it seems that she has anticipated that move and stops answering Vernon’s calls and texts as well. 

With all of his other options seemingly exhausted, Mingyu calls the one person that could possibly help him, Sidra Dexter. A woman with many accolades to her name, Sidra considers being Kamile’s mother to be the most important among them. If anyone knows how to get through to his wife, it’s Sidra. Mingyu prays that she still has a soft spot for him as the phone rings in his ear. If this call goes unanswered, then he really will lose all hope in saving his marriage. 

“It’s about damn time you called me, Gyu Bear. My daughter left you a whole week ago tomorrow and you’re just now enlisting my services? Tell me why that is.” Never a woman to beat around the bush, Sidra gets right to the point with the accuracy of a heat-seeking missile. 

“I don’t know what to do, Mama Dee. She won’t talk to me.” Mingyu whines, on the verge of tears for the umpteenth time today.

“Of course she won’t. She’s stubborn just like her ornery ass father.” The aforementioned father pipes up in the background to defend himself but is quickly shut down. “Now back to you, Gyu Bear. You have messed up big time but I love you so I’m going to help you fix it but I have one question first.”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Did you cheat on my daughter? And yes that ‘harmless flirting’ shit you men folk like to do counts as cheating in my book.”

“Of course not! Wait…does Kam think I cheated?” Mingyu is floored and honestly a little angered at the fact that after all these years together Kamile thinks he’s actually capable of infidelity. The alcohol-induced haze clears long enough for his brain to recall a comment she’d made the night she left about whoever he was doing being worth it. 

“She sure does,” Sidra starts up, “but luckily for you, my gut says that you’re telling the truth and it hasn’t steered me wrong in the last 56 years so I don’t see a reason not to trust it now. So here’s what we’re going to do.”

Mingyu listens intently as Sidra outlines her master plan. Not for the first time, he’s in awe of the way her brain functions. The tightness in his chest subsides a little bit with every word she says. For the first time in the six days since Kamile left, Mingyu feels like his life has meaning again. His marriage might not be over after all. 

Despite the fact that Kamile had no intention of answering any of Mingyu’s desperate pleas for attention, the sudden cessation of said pleas only serve to further increase her anguish. She’d originally thought she’d be able to finally find peace when he gave up, but that does not seem to be the case. A part of her didn’t want him to stop trying. Didn’t want him to stop fighting for her.

Did I make the right choice?

The question has haunted her every waking moment as she adjusts to her new normal. She’s been adrift for the last ten days trying to figure out her next plan of action. Should she stay in Korea? Should she go back to America? Should she throw a dart at a map and go wherever it lands? The possibilities are endless but Kamile finds herself unable to fully commit to either option which is how she’s ending up existing on takeout in a hotel for the past week and some change. God, why did she have to be so impulsive? She should’ve made sure that she had a game plan before she just up and left like that. 

Her phone rings on the small night stand, interrupting her self-loathing thoughts. Kamile groans when she sees that it’s her mother. Ever since she’d broken the news to her parents that she’d decided to leave Mingyu, her mom has been giving her grief. Kamile had always had a hunch that her mom loved Mingyu just as much if not more than she loved her, but their break up has made her think that her hunch had been closer to the truth than she’d previously thought.

“Hey, ma.” Kamile greets her mother apprehensively, bracing for the latest round of her mother’s reconciliation efforts. 

“Hello, my lovely daughter. I just landed in Seoul so if you don’t mind coming to get me from the airport that would be great.” Kamile chokes on the mouthful of noodles she’d been munching on. There’s no way in hell that her mother just said that she’s in Seoul. Sure enough, Kamile pulls her phone away from her ear to check her mother’s location and it says that she is in fact at the Incheon Airport. 

“Baby, what did I tell you about making sure you properly chew your food before swallowing. Did you forget what happened to your Uncle Tommy?” Kamile barely hears her mother’s recounting about the uncle who’d died from choking on a fish bone as she rushes around her hotel room gathering her things. She can’t believe her mom really flew halfway across the globe. Thankfully, her hotel isn’t far from the airport so Kamile is helping her mother put her bags in the back of her SUV in no time at all.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you or anything, but what are you doing here?” Kamile questions as she eases her car into the steady stream of traffic bound for the exit. 

“You just left your husband and you didn’t come home to me so I don’t know what made you think that I wasn’t coming out here. A friend of mine is letting me stay with her since I know how you are about your space.” 

Kamile is more than a little thankful for that. Her mother can be overbearing when she’s on a mission and the fact that she’ll still be able to maintain some personal space is comforting. She’s only too happy to let the gps in her guide her to this friend’s house. The closer they get to their destination though the more unsettled she becomes. She has no idea why her gut is telling her to be suspicious, but she’s definitely not about to ignore it. Kamile’s sense are on high alert when she turns into the driveway of a nondescript home in one of the more affluent suburbs of the city. 

“Mom, what’s this friend’s name?” Kamile eyes the structure in front of her as if it could possibly grow teeth and bite her. Something is not right here and if there’s one thing her mother taught her, it’s to trust her gut instinct and right now her gut is telling her to throw her car in reverse and get the hell out of dodge. The only thing keeping her from running for the hills is the fact her mother seems so at ease as she hops out of the car to grab her bags. 

“Her name is Bae Yeojin. She studied abroad at Villanova her junior year and we were roommates. She’s got a pretty successful business now.” Kamile hums in acknowledgement. She vaguely recalls her mom telling her about a girl named Yeojin from college, but that does nothing to assuage the uneasiness in her gut. 

Kamile waits at the bottom of the steps as her mother knocks on the front door. Her fingers are drumming on banister, eyes glancing back and forth from the ornate door and her car. She clutches her keys like a lifeline. At the slightest provocation, she’s ready to bolt. The two women squeal like school children and not the established professionals they are at the first sight of each other. Kamile wonders briefly how long it’s been since they last saw each other.

“Kamile Danielle Kim get your ass up here and say hi.” Not one to disobey a direct order, especially one accompanied by her full name, Kamile reluctantly climbs the short staircase.

“Jesus, Sid, you really spit this one right out. She’s practically your twin.” Yeojin exclaims. She pulls Kamile into a quick hug before ushering the both of them inside. 

One deep breath and Kamile instantly realizes why she felt so uneasy. There’s candles burning in the foyer, but they do nothing to mask the familiar scent she’s spent the last six years smelling. Mingyu is in this house somewhere. She spins around to fix the two women with what she hopes is a threatening glare. Unfortunately, neither one of them appears to be phased by it in the slightest.

“What the hell is going on here?” Kamile’s quickly starting to realize that not trusting her gut has landed her in a situation she most definitely has no interest being in. Her eyes quickly dart back and forth between the two scam artists in front of her.

“I told you she’d figure it out. Pay up.” Yeojin doesn’t take her eyes off Kamile as she holds her hand out to Sidra who is grumbling while she digs in her purse to hand over a few bills.

“Dammit, Kam, did I really raise you to be this observant? You’re costing me money.”

“Yes, now what in the fresh hell do y’all have going on?” The answer to her question comes in the form of timid footsteps sounding off behind her. Her spine stiffens. She doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is. She can sense him. “Fuck this. I’m leaving.”

“No, you’re not. Now turn your little narrow butt around and have a seat.” Sidra adopts the tone she’d frequently used when Kamile was growing up and even now as an adult Kamile knows that disobeying this direct order is not the right choice to make. 

It’s with a grimace, that she pivots on her heel to face her husband for the first time since she walked out on him. The satisfaction she feels when she sees just how awful he looks is cancelled out by the fact that she probably looks just as bad. It would be a lie to say that she hasn’t missed the comfort and solace his presence used to bring her. That she doesn’t want to let the outside world fade away as she hides away in his embrace. She wants that back. Craves it even, but enough is enough.

Curse words flow like running water through Kamile’s mind as her mother situates her on a love seat in the living room with Mingyu sat right next to her. His large frame dwarfs the slightly undersized piece of furniture. She can feel the body heat radiating off of him and it’s a battle of wills to keep from leaning into him. 

“First things first…” Sidra claps her hands as she and Yeojin take a seat on the sofa opposite the troubled couple, “I think now is a good time to mention that Ms. Yeojin here is actually a therapist who specializes in couples therapy.”

Of course she is.

Kamile rolls her eyes as the puzzle pieces start clicking into place. She could be buried under her blankets, binging on The Golden Girls right now, but no, her meddling ass mother has scammed her into marriage counseling instead. She should’ve ran when she had the chance.

“Based on what Sid has told me, the two of you are exactly one week shy of your first wedding anniversary and already on the verge of divorce. So, who would like to dump their emotional baggage on the floor first?” Yeojin glances between Kamile and Mingyu looking for a crack in their demeanor that she can exploit. Mingyu looks like he wants to hurl while Kamile’s face is a carefully constructed mask of indifference. She makes her choice easily.

“Mingyu, thank you for volunteering. Let’s hear it.” 

Put on the spot, Mingyu chances a glance sideways at Kamile before clearing his throat. Yeojin sits at the ready with her notebook and pen. She listens intently as Mingyu tells the fiasco as he sees it.

“I know I forget things sometimes. I try not to, but I’m an idol. I have a lot going on but that’s no different from when we first started dating so I don’t know why it’s suddenly such a big issue now.” Mingyu seems to find his voice as he speaks up on how he believes that he’s been wronged. The timid nervousness he’d felt before quickly getting pushed down so that his frustration can take over.

“When we first started dating, I wasn’t being abandoned in a house all day with nothing to do.” Kamile may have been grumbling under her breath but Mingyu hears her loud and clear. His head whips around so fas that the two mothers across from him silently worry about the neck pain that may cause him later. 

“You have nothing to do because you’ve turned down every opportunity that’s come your way.” Thoughts of the numerous job and consulting offers from Pledis and other entertainment companies like them that she turned down come flying to the forefront of his memory. Human resource agents have practically been beating down their door for the chance to work with Kamile, a creative visionary in her own right, but she’s rejected them one after another without a moment’s hesitation.

“You mean every opportunity that you have sent my way. Like why would I want to work at that entertainment company and be forced to watch that bitch Miyeon flirt with you every day like you’re not married?” Mingyu is forced to concede to her point with that one. Miyeon is one of the stylists at the company and, despite his repeated rejection, is too flirtatious for his liking as well. Unfortunately, she’s deeply entrenched in the corporate hierarchy and nothing short of murder would make the higher ups get rid of her even if all of the members have lodged complaints against her. 

“Is that the simple hoe you come home smelling like every time you’re ‘out with the boys’?” Kamile adds on as if she’s finally started connecting some dots in her overactive imagination. The fact that she has even entertained the thought of Mingyu not only cheating on her but cheating on her with Miyeon of all people makes his blood boil.  

“Why do you think I’m cheating on you? Why do you always just assume the worst about me? Do you think Vernon would ever let me even think about cheating on you? The man hates violence but he would beat my ass over you and we all know that.” The frown on Kamile’s face falters at the mention of her oldest friend. Mingyu is correct in saying that he would absolutely fight him, but there are still some thing that aren’t adding up. Yeojin attempts to halt the conversation so that they can delve deeper into what Mingyu just said but Kamile beats her to the punch. 

“You come home smelling like warm vanilla sugar every night when everybody knows that I am a Japanese cherry blossom supremacist. What am I supposed to think, Mingyu?” She can’t believe that he has the audacity to sit next to her and still lie. The palms of her hands itch with the urge to throw things but she’s done enough of that plus this isn’t exactly her house either.

“Seokmin always sprays us down with some random perfume because he says it keeps the women away and honestly, it actually works like a charm so I’m always first in line to get sprayed.” Kamile’s anger deflates almost immediately. To anyone that doesn’t know Lee Seokmin that would sound like a crock of shit, but it’s perfectly on brand for him.

“Well, how was I supposed to know that?”

“We’re fucking married, Kamile. You could’ve just asked. Better yet you could have come with me to these events like I’ve asked you to do a million times.” 

“You know I hate those things.”

“Everyone hates them, but I would hate them a lot less if I had you there with me. I just feel like I’ve been trying to make an effort but you’re not meeting me halfway.”

“I knew my Gyu Bear wasn’t a cheater!” Sidra, who hasn’t set a word since things had started to get heated, pipes up.

“God, Mom could you at least pretend that you love me more than him?” Kamile throws her hands up in frustration. Her mother’s obvious favoritism is really starting to get to her right now.

“Not until you start giving me less grief.”

“Now, now, Sid. Let’s not derail the progress we’re making here. Kamile, is there anything you’d like to bring to the table?” Yeojin pats her dear friend on the back of her hand to reign her back in. She’d hate to ruin the momentum they got going by having Kamile suddenly switch gears to argue with her mother.

Kamile is only too happy to tell her side of the story as she recounts the events of the night that she decided to leave Mingyu and how it was the tipping point for her. Yeojin listens intently, taking note of the fact that none of the issues that Kamile has with her husband are particularly heinous aside from the debunked cheating suspicions. Each transgression on it’s own wouldn’t be enough to end in divorce, but rather it’s the heaping pile of them that overwhelmed Kamile to the point that she felt she needed to get out.

The more she listens, the clearer it becomes to Yeojin that their marriage is suffering not because they don’t love one another but because they’ve forgotten how to talk to each other which has lead to an unfortunate disconnect. The biggest obstacle is definitely going to be Kamile’s determination to end things. She’s made up her mind and getting her to change her mind is not going to be easy.

“I think I’ve heard everything that I need to hear for today.” Yeojin sets her notepad down on her coffee table, relaxing in her chair a bit before she continues. “The first year in a marriage is usually the hardest, but that seems to have been exacerbated by the fact that the two of you have never lived together before now plus Kamile here has uprooted her entire life and moved to a new country.”

“Saving this marriage is going to take considerable effort on both sides in order to restore the balance you had before you said your vows. Here is what I recommend.”

Yeojin challenges the young couple to separate themselves from their daily lives for the next week and go somewhere remote. A place where it’s just the two of them without any outside influences. Of course, this won’t be just some run of the mill vacation. They’ll have “homework” of sorts that Yeojin will be checking to make sure they complete. Mingyu is all for it but Kamile is much more hesitant. All they’ve done is argue for the past few months and she’d rather not be stuck in a house arguing for two weeks straight. 

“I’ve spent the past year stuck in a house with no outside influences and look at where that’s gotten me. On the verge of a fucking divorce!” Mingyu looks like he has something to say, but Yeojin thankfully stops him before he can rile his wife up any more than she already is. 

“You’re not just going to be ‘stuck in a house’. Think of it like a game of Among Us. The two of you are crewmates and this wall that’s been built between you is the imposter.” Kamile looks at Yeojin as if she’s grown three extra heads. There’s no way she just related this counseling session to a freaking video game. 

“I will also stop bugging you about grandkids for six months if you go.” 

“You should’ve just started there. I’ll go.”

Yeojin claps her hands excitedly. She sounds way too happy to be shipping them off to self-guided marriage boot camp, but Kamile stays silent though that becomes increasingly difficult as her mother’s friends lists out the “tasks” she expects them to complete.

“So here’s the game plan, I want you two to be totally and completely honest with each other as much as possible for the entire time you’re gone. Often times in relationships, both parties will censor themselves as a way to keep the peace but that can be detrimental as it has been for you guys.” Mingyu and Kamile don’t realize it but they both frown simultaneously at the proposal of this honesty idea. Yeojin takes it as a positive sign that they are still in sync on some level. 

“If the thought of doing it all day is too daunting, then start with just one hour. This doesn’t mean that you have to sit and stare at each other for a whole hour and trade statements just act normally but speak honestly. Okay so far?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Mingyu casts a glance in Kamile’s direction, fingers twitching with the urge to reach out to her. He’s had to stop himself several times since she arrived and it’s not getting any easier.

While Kamile’s mind is running wild with all of the potential for disaster that an hour of honesty could result in, Yeojin powers on with the rest of her required tasks. On top of separating themselves from society and this so called honest hour, Yeojin has mandated that they share at least one meal together every day with one of them being dinner on their wedding anniversary. Just when Kamile thought that Yeojin couldn’t possibly pile more on, she brings up the “activity days”. Each of them will have to plan some sort of activity for the two of them to do together while they’re away. It could be as big or as small as they want, but it has to be meaningful. Mingyu draws Kamile’s attention when he pulls his phone out of his back pocket to start tapping away on the screen like a mad man.

“You guys have a lot of preparing to do in order to be ready to leave tomorrow so we’ll stop here for today. I’ll be checking in on you daily to assess your progress and offer any guidance you may need.” 

Kamile is out of her chair and halfway to the door before anyone can blink. The room suddenly feels too small as the gravity of what’s about to happen sinks in. She’d convinced herself that she no longer wanted to be married to Mingyu. She was so sure that her run as Mrs. Kim, albeit short as it was, had come to an end, but now she’s been confronted that her main reason for ending things was baseless. This is not how she thought things would go.

Day 1

The drive from the hotel to the home she’s shared with Mingyu for the past year goes way too quickly for Kamile’s liking. Mingyu had texted her about having to go gas up the rental car so he’s nowhere to be seen when Kamile arrives. She sits in the driveway for a few minutes thinking of the memories saturated into the home that looms before her. The memories she had hoped to create. A stray tear slips down her cheek and she swipes at it furiously. She swore that she was done shedding tears over this but they just keep on coming.

Her pity party is interrupted by an unfamiliar SUV pulling into the driveway behind her. Kamile looks in the mirror to see Mingyu getting out of the driver’s seat. She does her best to erase the evidence of her tears, but the look on his face when she opens her own door says that she wasn’t very successful. 

“Are you-”

“I’m fine.” Kamile cuts him off before he can even finish his question. She stalks to the back of her car to start transferring her bags from her car to the behemoth of an SUV behind her.

“I’ll get them.” Mingyu takes the bag she’d already grabbed from Kamile’s hands, motioning to the passenger’s seat. Kamile, no longer in the mood to speak, wordlessly follows his directive and climbs into the SUV.

It takes Mingyu no time at all to load Kamile’s bags into the back with his own. 

“Obviously this is a sign that we should just leave.”

“I don’t know about you, but I’m not about to let a lost set of keys stand between me and keeping my marriage.”

“Why do you even care? Why are we even doing this?” Kamile screams. She’s been holding this in for far too long and she can’t take it anymore. 

“For better or for worse.” Mingyu’s face is a mask of carefully controlled fury and it’s giving Kamile pause. She’s never seen him like this before. “We promised each other for better or for worse and yet you’re ready to run for the hills at the first sign of trouble. I’ll admit that I’m not perfect and certainly played a role in why we’re here but I’m willing to put in the work to make it better because those vows meant something to me. I thought they meant something to you too.”

Kamile is incredibly taken aback at Mingyu’s fervent desire to stay married. She didn’t think that he cared that much anymore. Without any further protest, she joins him in the hunt for the elusive key to the front door. Fifteen minutes pass and they are no closer to gaining entry than they were when they first arrived. A rep with the rental company calls as they’re checking the bottom of the flower pots that line the front porch and tells them that the keys were mistakenly put in the mailbox. The same mailbox that sits at the end of the mile long driveway. Kamile makes to get back in the car to drive to the end of the driveway but Mingyu suggests walking it.

“It would be faster in the car.”

“You heard that therapist lady. We’re supposed to be spending time together. What better way to do it than by walking two miles?” Kamile walks back and forth as she considers her options. She can resist which will probably lead to yet another fight or she can just suck it up and walk to the mailbox. With a groan, she makes her decision.

“Fine, but if I get tired you’re carrying me.”

“Anything for you, my lady.” He bows deeply which almost makes Kamile crack a smile. She steels her resolve quickly though and reminds herself not to get caught up in his antics. He’s going to have to do a lot more than make her laugh in order to get out of the dog house.

The walk to the mailbox and back is quiet for the most part. Their footfalls join the hum of the wildlife in the woods that line the driveway on either side, but the jokes and playful jabs that used to fill the air between them is noticeably absent. Neither one is sure of what to say or do around the other anymore. Thankfully, the key is hanging on a hook inside the rather large mailbox.

Mingyu fully expected for Kamile to ask to be carried on the way back. She’s never been a huge fan of physical activity so it doesn’t come as a surprised to him when she starts whining halfway back to the cabin.

“I can’t do it just leave me here with my flower friends. I’ll become one with the forest.” Mingyu wordlessly moves to crouch down in front of her. He’s thankful that she can’t see his face to save himself the embarrassment of having to explain why he’s so excited to carry her for the last half mile to the end of the driveway.

Kamile doesn’t hesitate a single second to climb onto his back, clinging to him like a koala. It’s not lost on either one of them that this is the most physical contact they’ve had with each other in months. She’s wrapped around him tight enough that he doesn’t need to support her thighs, but he does it anyway. No way in hell is going to let this moment pass by without taking full advantage. 

They opt to spend the rest of the day just getting settled in. Yeojin had encouraged them to share a bedroom but Kamile is not down with that. Mingyu is disappointed when she wheels her suitcase into one of the guest bedrooms but he takes solace in the fact that she’s chosen the one right across the master where he’d dropped his things hoping she’d follow. He hopes that at some point in the next few days she’ll finally share a bed with him again. 

Dinner ends up being Thai takeout. Kamile has to admit that she’s impressed when Mingyu is able to rattle off her usual order with practiced ease. There once was a time when they’d get Thai food together all the time, but they’re so far removed from that time that she was sure he’d have forgotten by now. They eat without a single word exchanged before going their separate ways to bed.

Day 2

Mingyu wakes up before the sun despite the fact that he slept all of two hours the night before. His hands are on the verge of trembling from all of the nervous energy coursing through his body. Today is the official first day of marriage bootcamp and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. It’s barely seven so there’s no way that Kamile has even attempted to get out of bed yet. Like a thief in the night, Mingyu creeps down the hall to peek into the bedroom that she had claimed as her own. A small smile graces his face at the cute way she hugs one of the throw pillows to her chest. It falters a little when his brain reminds him that she used to hug him close to her like that and not a pillow, but he shoves that depressing thought away for now. He has work to do.

The smell of bacon rouses Kamile from sleep, luring her down the stairs. She grunts a greeting at the man currently tending to a pan of scrambled eggs as she reaches for the stack of bacon on the counter to his left. Mingyu is quick to swat her hand away before she can secure her bounty.

“The eggs are almost done. Be patient.” Kamile whines at being chastised, scowling at the back of Mingyu’s head with disdain.

In the midst of her grumbling, she finally takes notice of his attire or the lack thereof. Saliva pools in her mouth at the sight of his muscles flexing as he cooks the eggs. Her gaze moves lower to his trim waist and the pair of gray sweatpants hanging from said waist in a way that has no business being as attractive as it is. Her fingers twitch with the urge to slide her hands beneath the waistband of those sweatpants to get at that prize she knows is there but she keeps them to herself.

“Earth to Kamile.” Mingyu chants as he waves a spatula in front of her face. She blinks rapidly, doing her best to clear the thick fog of arousal from her mind. The uncomfortable sensation of her panties sticking to her skin is quickly forgotten when Mingyu holds up a plate peeled high with bacon, eggs, and blueberry pancakes.

“Thanks, Gyu.” Kamile murmurs as she takes the proffered plate and heads for the table. She falters half a step when she realizes that she’s let his nickname slip. She prays that he didn’t notice and if he did, she prays he doesn’t say anything about it.

“Gyu? Haven’t heard that one in a while.” Looks like that prayer went unanswered. The shit eating grin on Mingyu’s face makes her itch. 

“I’m hungry and thankful. Don’t push it.” 

They eat in silence. The only sounds are their forks as they make contact with their plates.  Mingyu is kicking himself in the ass for not saying anything but his brain is short circuiting. Thankfully, the buzzing from the intercom by the front door signaling that someone is at the front gate. It’s the special grocery delivery he’d requested for the first of their planned activity days. 

“What’s all this for?” Kamile asks curiously. She pokes through a few of the bags to see fresh strawberries and a variety of other fruits along with a very large bag of rice cakes.

“I was thinking we could have a picnic today for our first planned activity.” His heart races as he waits for Kamile’s reaction to his idea. She munches on a piece of bacon as she continues to pull things out of bags.

“I dig it.” Mingyu feels weak with relief at his idea being well-received. “Why so many rice cakes though?”

“You’ve been a tteokbeokki fiend since we met. Didn’t see the point in depriving you while we’re here if I could just make it for you.” Kamile groans at the thought. She’s more than capable of feeding her own addiction with the spicy rice cake dish, but she’s never been able to make it as good as Mingyu. Despite the fact that she just ate, she contemplating requesting that he make a batch of it right now.

Mingyu grabs a knife to start chopping up some of the fruit. Kamile takes a seat at the island across from him, propping her chin in her hand as she watches him work. She’s always loved watching him cook almost as much as eating the food he makes. She can’t even remember the last time that she was able to do this. It feels like a lifetime ago. Her eyes with sparkle with fascination watching him prepare the food for their picnic. 

“Open up.” Mingyu holds a strawberry up to her lips and Kamile opens her mouth without hesitation. The berry is perfectly ripe and so juicy that a stream of it runs down her chin. Mingyu reaches out to swipe it away, licking the liquid from his thumb. 

“Tasty.” Kamile squirms in her seat at the way his lips wrap around his thumb. Time for her to make an escape before she does something crazy like fuck her husband in someone else’s kitchen. 

Mingyu watches Kamile hastily retreat with barely concealed glee. He’d thought that she’d stopped being attracted to him, but that is incorrect if the results of the little experiment he’d decided to conduct are to be believed. He smiles to himself as he continues cutting up fruit. There might be hope for them yet.

After agonizing longer than he should have over the best spot to set up their little picnic, Mingyu finally picks a spot. He’s so focused on how best to arrange everything on the blanket that he doesn’t even notice Kamile creeping up behind him. He nearly jumps out of his own skin when she clears her throat much to Kamile’s amusement.

“Did I scare you?” It’s clear to her that she did, but making him admit it is too good for her to pass up. 

“No…maybe.” Kamile hums in response, kneeling across from him on the blanket. “That dress is really pretty on you.”

“Thank you.” She mumbles in response. It’s been so long since she’s heard any sort of praise or compliment from Mingyu that she doesn’t even know how to respond anymore. It almost feels brand new. 

Eager to rid herself of the awkwardness blooming in her chest, Kamile grabs a fork and shoves what she thinks is a potato straight in her mouth. In her haste, she fails to realize that the potato she thought she had is actually an onion. Mingyu doubles over with laughter at the pure disgust painted across Kamile’s face. She desperately wants to spit it out but she was raised to believe that spitting out perfectly good food is only a half step below a sin so she powers through. She chugs one of the glasses of fresh squeezed lemonade on the small tray to her right as Mingyu continues to cackle at her plight. 

“You set me up for failure.” Kamile has hated onions from the womb according to the stories her mother told about the smell of onions making her nauseous for her entire pregnancy. Mingyu must pay for this. 

“I purposely cut them big enough for you to easily pick them out. You weren’t supposed to eat them.” Mingyu defends himself breathily as he tries desperately to stop laughing. Kamile reaches out to punch him in the arm which only serves to make him laugh harder.

Silence falls over them again although, unlike breakfast this morning, they’re able to exchange some small talk here and there. The awkwardness that they’d started off with wanes and wanes until they’re left comfortably enjoying each other’s presence for the first time in a long time. 

Mingyu finds himself unable to take his eyes off of Kamile. He’d meant it when he’d said that the yellow sundress she’s wearing looked pretty on her. It compliments the rich mahogany of her skin as if it was made especially for her. The plethora of curls that he’s always loved are full of life as she bobs her head side to side, one of her many habits that Mingyu has always adored. His chest feels tight with the weight of his love for her. He can’t believe that he nearly let her slip away.

“You’re staring, Mingyu.” Kamile says between bites of the strawberry she’d grabbed. Mingyu opens his mouth to answer when a distant rumble beats him to the punch. 

“Oh shit.” 

The two of them hastily toss the near empty dishes back into the picnic basket. Dark clouds are steadily rolling in with the speed of a bullet train. Just when they think they might be able to make it back into the house, their luck runs out. The rain comes down in sheets, drenching them in seconds. Kamile is so thankful that the lack of pockets on her dress lead to her choosing to leave her phone inside.

Kamile is the worst mood when they finally reach the safety of the house. She just went through the stress and physical exhaustion of wash day two days ago and now she has to do it all over again five days ahead of schedule. 

“Did you not check the fucking weather before you decided to turn us into sitting ducks outside?” She seethes. Mingyu arches a brow in confusion at her sudden mood swing.

“Of course I did. It was supposed to be nothing but sunshine all week.”

“Well, clearly that was a lie but I’ve grown to accept that from you. Now I’ve got to go suffer through wash day ahead of schedule.” Mingyu winces at her words, but he’s nothing if not an opportunist so he chooses to ignore it in favor of jumping on the more important statement Kamile just made. 

“Can I help you with your hair?” He asks as he follows his grumpy wife up the staircase. She pauses outside her room to fix him with a glare.

“Absolutely not.”

“Why? I’ve always helped you with your hair.” In his mind, this isn’t a huge request. The Kamile he knew used to be only too happy to allow him to hand over her hair products for him to do her extensive wash day routine for her. He’d actually gotten so good at it that he’d even started doing her younger sisters’ hair whenever he was in the states to visit.

“I barely know who you are anymore and you expect me to let you touch my hair? Not a chance in hell.” Kamile’s voice climbs in volume until she’s practically yelling. 

The last thing Mingyu wants to do today is fight, but enough is enough. Their screams echo through the spacious house as they go back and forth over Kamile’s mistrust of Mingyu. He doesn’t get it and she thinks it’s incredibly shocking that he doesn’t. Kamile’s phone rings somewhere in the bedroom she has yet to enter, effectively interrupting their spat. She leaves Mingyu in the hallway in favor of answering it and groans out loud when she sees that it’s a FaceTime call from Yeojin. She’d forgotten all about the daily check-ins that the therapist had mentioned she’d be conducting. She goes back out to the hallway and drags Mingyu with her to the staircase so they can get this call over with without ruining the carpet in her room. 

“Hello, love birds! How’s everything going?” Yeojin chirps once the call connects. Her hopeful smile falters slightly when she sees the sour looks on her clients’ faces.

Mingyu is only too happy to give the attentive marriage counselor a full rundown of what was happening before she called. Kamile scowls at him the entire time. To hear him tell it, she’s the bad guy but anyone with common sense would’ve left her alone after she’d made it perfectly clear that she was not in the mood to have a conversation. She can’t wait for Yeojin to drag him therapeutically for not picking up on that. 

“Kamile, what do you think lead to you lashing out like that? The rain was not his fault.” The woman in question is thrown off when the outcome she was expecting doesn’t come to fruition.

“He should’ve checked the weather before deciding to have a picnic outside but that’s neither here nor there. I feel like I made it very clear that I didn’t want to talk to him and yet he kept pressing the issue.” Kamile can’t believe that she has to defend herself. Mingyu is so hasty with responding that it sounds like a keyboard smash is coming out of his mouth.

“I would like to make it known that I did not say one word to you when we came back inside until you started yelling at me.” He looks incredibly smug as he watches Kamile’s mouth open and close as she tries to think of a way to refute his statement. “I would also like to make it known that I have been obsessive about every detail of this picnic and I would have never had it outside if there was even a slight chance that it might rain. Maybe if you had a little more faith in me you could see that.”

“And that brings me to my next point.” Yeojin begins. “We’ve established that the infidelity was a myth, so why do you continue to hold on to that mistrust, Kamile? I want you to really think about it and be completely honest with both us and yourself. I’m not saying that whatever you’re feeling is wrong because you are entitled to feel that way but I think it would be good for the both of you if why you feel that way is better understood.”

The theme of the day continues to be silence as Kamile ponders the question put before her. She’s mature enough to admit that not trusting Mingyu while also admitting that she believes him when he says that he didn’t cheat is contradictory. The root of that contradiction is something she’s been trying to avoid ever since she got roped into that surprise therapy session. Mingyu’s alleged infidelity had been her out. Her escape. She had cut and run on the back of a false truth and that reality is something that’s been hard for her to process. Tears well up in Kamile's eyes as she thinks back to Mingyu’s rant about their wedding vows when they’d first arrived. She’d thought that everything was his fault and being forced to face the truth is difficult. Mingyu’s harsh glare softens as he reaches out to wipe the tears from her face as they start to fall. He sighs when she pulls away from him.

“I can see that I’ve found a sore spot so I won’t press this any further today. We’ll revisit this in the future.” Yeojin gives them some tips on how to better communicate before she ends the call.

Kamile is only too happy to end the call so she can lock herself in her room. She doesn’t even come back out for dinner despite Mingyu all but begging outside of her door. He’s not sure what mental dots she connected when they were talking to Yeojin, but whatever it was seems to have upset her more than he’d originally thought.

A weather alert comes through on Mingyu’s phone as he watches TV downstairs. Apparently the storm that had snuck up on them earlier is part of a much larger system of severe weather that changed course and is expected to hang around the area for the next day or two. His first thought is Kamile. She’s terrified of thunderstorms. Always has been. 

He thinks back to a time before they started dating when Kamile was just Vernon’s pretty American friend that he had a huge crush on. She had come to Korea to visit and insisted on sleeping on the couch despite the fact that everyone tried to give up their room for her. Much like today, a nasty storm rolled in and in her panicked state she had accidentally ended up in his room instead of Vernon’s. The realization had been comical and she’d tried to leave to go to the right room, but a sudden clap of thunder that seemed to shake the whole building sent her diving into his arms where she stayed for the rest of the night. She slept through a thunderstorm for the first time in her life that night. A selfish part of him hopes that this storm brings him the same luck he had all those years ago.

Day 3

Heavy rain beats against the window like a prize fighter while thunder rattles Kamile’s brain until she feels like screaming. There aren’t many things that strike true fear in her heart, but thunderstorms are definitely somewhere in the top five things on that list. She’s got her headphones in and her music blasting, but it does very little to drown out the war going on outside. She rips the blankets from her body and makes for the bedroom door to go get in bed with Mingyu but like the fifty other times she’s attempted to do that she stops herself in the hallway. The door shuts with a soft click as she seals herself back in her own personal hell. 

Kamile jolts awake not even aware of when she had even managed to fall asleep. Sweat has glued her clothes to her skin and it’s making her skin crawl the longer she lays there. She groans aloud when she hears the rain still beating against the window pane. The alarm clock on the nightstand says that it’s just barely six in the morning which means it’s been exactly one hour since she apparently passed out from exhaustion. A rumble off in the distance lets her know that she probably won’t be getting more sleep any time soon so she drags herself to the bathroom for a shower. 

Freshly showered and in desperate need of caffeine, Kamile makes for the kitchen. Mingyu’s bare back comes into view for the second consecutive morning when she rounds the corner. His hair is sticking up in odd directions and he looks to be five seconds from falling asleep standing up as he stabs at the buttons on the coffee maker.

“Why are you up so early?”

“You need coffee.” He replies with a yawn.

“Yeah, but I can make it myself. You didn’t need to lose sleep to make me coffee.” She protests. Mingyu turns to glare at her until Kamile raises her hands in surrender.

“If you’re up, I’m up.” Kamile shakes her head at him as she pulls two mugs out of the cabinet. No sense in arguing with him when he’s clearly made up his mind about suffering.

The two of them sit in silence side by side, sipping their coffee, and staring out the window watching Mother Nature do her thing. Out of habit, Kamile leans over to rest her head on MIngyu’s shoulder. She stiffens when she realizes what she’s doing. Mingyu holds his breath. Scared that if he makes any sudden movements the bubble will burst and she’ll move away from him. She surprises the both of them when she lets the tension drain from her shoulders instead, relaxing into him.

“I’m sorry.” Kamile whispers into the void. If Mingyu wasn’t so acutely focused on her every move, he probably wouldn’t have even heard it over the wind. 

“Me too.” He turns his head to softly kiss the top of her head, taking a moment to inhale the familiar scent of her hair products. He never knew it was possible to miss a singular smell so much.

They’ve exchanged exactly four words since they sat down at the table, but they mean so much. There’s a near palpable shift in the air. Like a switch has flipped. An unspoken truce between them that they are in this together. Kamile lifts her head to finish her coffee and Mingyu immediately misses the weight of her head on his shoulder.

“Did you ever finish watching The Originals?” Kamile asks before downing the last of her coffee.

“No, it was kind of our thing so I haven’t watched it since we stopped watching it together.” She hums in response.

“Well, it looks like we’re going to be stuck in this house all day so we may as well pick up where we left off.” Mingyu nearly chokes on his coffee. He can’t even remember the last time Kamile willingly suggested that they spend time together. He pinches himself to make sure he’s not dreaming which she rolls her eyes at. 

“Come on. You’re in charge of snacks.”

For the next eight hours, their butts are glued to the couch. They only get up to use the bathroom and replenish their snack pile. They’ve spent so much of their time arguing that Kamile had forgotten how much she loved just being with Mingyu. Klaus is about to rain down hellfire on some of his enemies when Mingyu’s phone vibrates in the pocket of his sweatpants. Kamile can feel it against her own thigh and it’s only then that she realizes the way that they’ve gravitated towards each other over the course of the day. If she were to get any closer to him, she’d be sitting in his lap. Mingyu had intended to ignore the call, thinking it might be someone from the company despite his strict instructions not to contact him, but he answers it instead when he sees that it’s Yeojin. 

“Well don’t you two look cozy. I was planning to pick up where we left off yesterday, but I’d rather talk about this first.” Yeojin looks entirely too smug as she brings attention to the lack of space between the two of them. Mingyu half expects Kamile to scoot away from him now that it’s been pointed out just how close they are, but she stays put. 

“Can’t a girl just sit next to her husband without being questioned to death?” Kamile asks playfully. Yeojin chuckles and moves on with their daily check in. 

“Fine, fine I’ll leave it alone. Let’s get down to business. Mingyu we didn’t get to hear from you a lot yesterday so I’d like to get into how you felt when Kamile left. What was that like for you?” Yeojin rests her chin on her hand as she waits to see what’s going to come out of the box of emotions she just opened. 

Mingyu briefly realizes that this is the first time he’s talked about that day to anyone as he recounts that dark morning like the nightmare it was. Kamile listens in stunned silence while he tells his story. After seeing the bags under his eyes at Yeojin’s house, she’d figured that he’d suffered just like she had, but she’d never imagined that waking up to find her rings and the note she’d left had affected him to the extent that it did. The guilt that’s been festering in her gut increases tenfold at the thought of him heaving into the toilet.

“I knew things weren’t the greatest but I truly did believe that we were strong enough to get through whatever. Divorce never crossed my mind even once so it killed me to know that it had not only crossed her mind but became a viable option that she ran with. I get why she thought that was the best option now, but then it felt like I’d been blindsided.” Mingyu explains. His words are laced with the hurt that he’s been keeping to himself. Kamile picks at the words screen printed down one of the legs of her sweatpants wishing that a hold would open beneath her and swallow her up. She’s never felt so low.

“Kamile, I see you’re getting emotional. What are you feeling right now?” Yeojin gently pries. Mingyu pulls Kamile into him as his own emotions start getting the better of him. Yeojin is pleased to note that, unlike yesterday, Kamile doesn’t snatch away from him. 

“I was so focused on how unhappy I was that I didn’t consider anything else. It was all about me, me, me.” Kamile stares off into space as she opens up. She’s never talked about this with anyone but her best friends. In hindsight, they might not be sitting where they are right if she’d just talked to Mingyu about it ages ago but then again hindsight is always 20/20. “I visited Korea plenty of times when we were dating, but living here as the black wife of an idol has been so hard. Being from America, I’m used to people treating me different because of my skin color but when people feel entitled to be so invasive about it because of who I’m married to…it’s different.”

Mingyu’s jaw is on the floor as he listens to the struggles that his wife was having right under his nose and he never knew. He noticed that she’d become more withdrawn and hostile but he could never figure out why and she wouldn’t tell him when he asked. It comes as no surprise to him now that she stopped going outside. He can’t exactly blame her. Seventeen is going on their eighth year so Mingyu is a seasoned veteran at ignoring the things people say on the internet. Unfortunately, Kamile didn’t have that luxury. His stomach turns at the tales of her being approached on the street by people who wrongly called themselves fans thinking they were protecting him. The racist comments made about her online. She was suffering and he just let it go on thinking that she was just being moody.

“Do you think that caused you to develop a little resentment for Mingyu and his idol status?” 

Kamile’s first instinct is to say no, but given that they are supposed to be as honest possible she tamps down the lie before it can slip out. She did resent that she’d fallen for someone with such great public notoriety sometimes. It was different when she was just one of Vernon’s childhood friends. The general public didn’t really care what she did from day to day, but now one wrong move turns her into a trending topic and she doesn’t know how to handle it. There are days that she wishes that Mingyu was just a normal person, but then they would have never met and that’s not a reality she truly wants to live in despite her feelings towards him when she walked out. 

“Maybe a little bit but I know we’d have never met if he wasn’t Mingyu from Seventeen so it’s pointless really.” 

They talk with Yeojin a little while longer before she has to go to her next appointment. The air between them is heavy with the weight of the secrets that have come to light. It’s a stifling atmosphere and it’s beginning to drive Kamile insane. She reaches for the remote to restart their show, but Mingyu takes it from her.

“Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?” His eyes are misty as he struggles to hold himself back from crying once more. He could kick himself for not doing his best to shield her from the people that had killed her spirit.

“You’re already so busy and the last thing I wanted to do was add to everything else on your plate.” Mingyu wants to scream. She means more to him than being an idol. She always has. He cups her face in his hands, pressing his forehead to hers. 

“Promise me that you won’t hold stuff inside like that anymore and I promise to be better at not letting you. Deal?”

“Deal.” Kamile’s eyes flutter closed as Mingyu pulls away to press his lips to her forehead. 

He clears his throat before grabbing the remote to resume their show. For the next few hours, conversation is limited to the messy lives of the supernatural beings on the screen before them. The wind still howls. The rain is unceasing. Yet in the little bubble of Netflix and snacks that they’ve created, it may as well not even exist. 

Until bedtime that is.

“You know,” Mingyu says as they file up the stairs. The seemingly ever present bad weather still continues, “…you don’t have to sleep alone. I know you don’t like storms.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” It would be so easy to take him up on his offer. She could finally get some sleep, but for whatever reason she can’t bring herself to do it.

“Well you know where I am if you change your mind. Good night, Kamile.”

“Good night, Mingyu.”

Kamile stares at the ceiling in despair. She didn’t think it was possible for the storm to get worse but apparently Mother Nature took that as a challenge. She’s starting to genuinely concerned about whether or not the window by her bed can withstand the force of the weather it’s being forced to deal with. Kamile contemplates running to Mingyu’s room but shuts that idea down for the millionth time. Things feel...different between them after today’s call with Yeojin but she’s not sure if they’ve been different enough to justify hopping into bed with him quite yet. 

“This is fine. I don’t need to sleep.” She whispers into the void. 

She’s accepted her fate and made peace with it. Or at least that’s what she thought she’d done. A crack of lighting illuminates the room despite the blackout curtains over the window followed by a thunderous boom so loud it seems to vibrate her very being. Kamile is across the hall before she even has the time to process what she’s doing. Mingyu is out cold when she bursts into the room. Her brain chooses that moment to catch up to what she’s doing and flips on the switch of self-consciousness. Another loud boom has her throwing caution to the wind once more, sliding beneath the blanket to get as close to him as possible without waking him up. 

Kamile lays next to him a trembling anxious mess as the storm rages on. She’s so consumed by her own fear that she doesn’t even notice the man next to her has roused from sleep until he’s wrapped both of his arms around her to pull her into his warm chest. It’s as if the environmental warfare outside ceases to exist the second Kamile’s cheek makes contact with Mingyu’s skin. His presence drowns everything out just like it did all those years ago. The sleep that had been evading her comes quickly in his embrace. 

Day 4

A ray of sunlight shines perfectly through a crack in the curtain to hit Kamile square in the face. She squirms around trying to escape it and gets a frustrated groan in response. It’s then that she registers the weight of the arm that rests loosely across her midsection. The memory of running to Mingyu’s bed in the middle of the night comes rushing back to her. Her first instinct is to bolt, but she’s so touch starved that she finds herself turning in his hold in a bid to get closer. 

“Good morning.” Mingyu grunts something in response that she’s sure he thought sounded like good morning.

He slots one of his legs between hers and unintentionally allows her to feel the morning wood barely contained by his boxer briefs. Mingyu’s even breathing indicates that he’s fallen back asleep. Kamile would love to do the same but all of her attention is laser focused on the hardened appendage intimately pressed against her upper thigh. A damp spot has already started forming in her panties. She needs to get out of this bed now. Kamile squirms and wiggles around trying to get away, but it would seem that her efforts are having the opposite effect. A throaty groan slips from Mingyu’s lips.

“Stop moving.” He mumbles still half asleep. Kamile does her best to stop fidgeting and focus her attention elsewhere, but it’s not working. Her inner muscles clench around nothing as thoughts of what Mingyu could do to her dance dangerously through her mind. 

“I have to pee.” Mingyu cracks one eye open. It doesn’t take a genius to tell that he doesn’t believe her for a second but he releases her anyway. He sighs as he watches her run off to the en suite bathroom. 

Mingyu is noticeably absent when Kamile emerges from the bathroom fresh off a rushed orgasm though hardly sated. She follows the scent of coffee downstairs to find Mingyu bent over digging through one of the crisper drawers in the refrigerator. Back before everything went to shit she would’ve slapped his ass with glee and run away before he could exact his revenge. Good times.

“Did you hear what I said?” Kamile was so focused on his ass that she hadn’t even registered the fact that Mingyu had said anything.

“Huh?”

“I said do you want to get in the hot tub later since we can go outside now?” He repeats as he hands over a cup of coffee already milky and sweet the way she likes it.

“It’s almost 80 degrees outside and you want to get in a hot tub?” She questions slowly to which Mingyu responds with an emphatic yes. “Be honest. Are you just trying to see me in a bikini?”

“Absolutely.” He giggles when Kamile reaches out to smack him on the arm. “Why are you attacking me? Yeojin said we have to be honest at all times.” 

“I don’t think that included being a horny little shit.”

“I’m a man with eyes and a hot wife. I can’t help.” Despite the compliment, Kamile’s mood sours at his words. Mingyu’s freshly honed observation skills picks up on it immediately.

“Uh oh, did I say something wrong?”

“If I’m so hot, then why haven’t we had sex in four months? We used to go at it like rabbits and then one day you just stopped initiating things.” 

Mingyu is quick to point out that he did try to have sex with her plenty of times, but she pushed him away. Eventually, he gave up. It’s almost funny when the dots start connecting in her head. Her personal struggles had originally been why she denied him sex, but then he’d started coming home doused in perfume so she really didn’t want anything to do with him then. Mingyu has never been a very pushy person so he figured he’d just wait her out. He didn’t think that he’d end up in a four month dry spell (and counting), but he was also not about to look for satisfaction outside of his marriage either. 

“How about we save this sex talk until after I’m finished cooking? All of the blood in my body is rushing south and these rice cakes are starting to look like nipples.” Kamile nearly chokes on the water she’d just taken a sip of. Tears pour from her eyes as her body can’t decide if it wants to laugh or die of asphyxiation. 

“Woah, woah! When we said till death do us part I was hoping we’d be farting dust not barely 26.” Kamile is sure that he wants her dead now as her internal war between laughing and choking only gets worse. 

Despite her earlier protests, Kamile finds herself seated across from Mingyu in the hot tub later that evening as they watch the sun set. She fully expects him to try something from the way his eyes keep drifting south to stare at her chest, but he’s on his best behavior the entire time. 

Day 5

“Hello, love birds! I missed you two yesterday. What happened?” Yeojin looks hesitant almost as if she’s scared of their answer. She looks downright relieved to hear that they missed her call because they fell asleep cuddling on the couch. After getting a run down of everything that’s happened since they last spoke, she encourages them to continue sleeping in the same bed together. 

“Couples often downplay the amount of good that just being physically close to your partner can be. If you’re both comfortable sleeping next to each other without a thunderstorm being the driving force, please keep doing it.” Yeojin pleads before ending the call to go to her next appointment. 

Her words hang in the air even after she’s gone. Mingyu looks over at Kamile with a questioning look on his face. It’s clear that he’s after her opinion on this whole shared bed situation, but Kamile doesn’t have much to say on the matter. The two of them have been pretty much inseparable during the day now, but she’s still nervous about sleeping in the same bed together and she doesn’t know how to shake that feeling. She was too scared to think about it last night but without the weather to distract her she’s not so sure if sit’s a good idea.

“What’s going on in there?” Mingyu taps a finger against Kamile’s temple to get her attention. She shakes her head but he’s got a feeling it’s about what Yeojin’s bed sharing idea.

“If this is about sharing a bed, don’t worry about. You’ve got the rest of the day to decide.” She nods in acknowledgement of his point but Mingyu can tell that the gears in her head are turning even faster than before. Her overthinking is going to give her a headache.

Night time comes entirely too quickly for Kamile’s liking. Mingyu has kept her so busy that she hasn’t had the time to sit down to sort through her thoughts. Knowing him, he probably did that on purpose. He always hated her habit of overthinking everything, preferring to live in the moment and make decisions as they arose. Kamile has never had much success doing that which is why they work so well together. He balances her out and helps her weed out the important aspects of the topic at hand to make faster decisions. 

Her mind is racing as they climb the stairs on their way to bed. Mingyu stops at the door to his bedroom and looks at her with such hope on his face that she almost feels guilty for what she’s about to say. His face falls when Kamile tells him that she thinks it’s better for them to sleep in their own respective rooms tonight. Mingyu is a good sport about it, bidding her good night with a lingering kiss to her forehead. 

Falling asleep has never been a problem for Mingyu which is why he’s utterly confused when he’s still wide awake three hours after getting into bed. He’s in danger of pulling the sheets off of the mattress on one side from how much he’s been tossing and turning. 

This is bullshit. I’ve been sleeping fine every night. What’s the difference now?

Mingyu sits up to fluff his pillows. It doesn’t help. He kicks the ceiling fan up a notch. That doesn’t help either. He counts sheep, ducks, and even cows, but nothing is working. The longer he tries to avoid the obvious the more awake he seems to be. Sleeping in the guest room most nights to avoid arguing had taught him to sleep alone. Now that he knows what it’s like to hold her again, he’s ruined. He wonders briefly if Kamile is awake too. Is she just as restless too? 

He tosses and turns for the better part of another hour. The clock on his phone says that 3 a.m is quickly approaching and Mingyu caves. It takes less than ten seconds to cross the hall to her room, but practicing his explanation as to why he’s in her room at ass o’clock in the morning takes much longer. He knocks twice and pokes his head in.

“Kam?”

“You can’t sleep either, huh?” She asks without even turning to look at the man poking his head into her bedroom. 

Mingyu nearly collapses from sheer relief when Kamile simply reaches behind herself to lift the blankets after he confirms that he’s been unable to fall asleep just like her. He wastes no time sliding in behind her. Before he can even get it out of his mouth to ask, Kamile reaches back to find his arm, pulling it across her waist. 

“Good night, Gyu.” Kamile whispers. Her words are slurred as if she’s already half asleep. Mingyu kisses her shoulder, letting his lips linger against her skin.

“Good night, Kam.”

Day 6

A feather light touch to her lower lip is what prompts Kamile to open her eyes long before she’s ready. She pulls back slightly once her vision clears and she realizes just how close Mingyu’s face is to her own. He even has the audacity to laugh at her surprise.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d wake up.” He’s not sure how long he’s been watching her sleep, but he’d do it for the rest of his days. The pesky organ in his chest skips a beat as he holds Kamile’s gaze like a lifeline. He mulls over his next words very carefully, preparing for a possible rejection just as he did when he came to her room in the middle of night. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please do.” She whispers into the inch of space that separates them. 

Mingyu closed the gap slowly as if he’s giving her time to change her mind. Kamile sighs when his lips finally touch hers. One of his hands comes up to untie the silk scarf tied protectively around her head so that he can bury his hand in the curls he’s always been obsessed with. He uses his grip on her to guide her head as he deepens the kiss. 

She rolls onto her back and pulls him with her so that his much larger frame nearly covers hers entirely. Mingyu lets his primal instincts take over. Too lost in the way her lips are moving against his own. A groan rattles his chest when she squirms beneath him until his hips are situated between her thighs. The thin fabric of their respective underwear are the only barriers separating his aching erection from the place she needs him most. He can’t resist the urge to grind himself against her. If his brain wasn’t so clouded in lust, he’d probably have the mental capacity to feel a little embarrassed at just how quickly he’s risen to full mast. Kamile is floating somewhere beyond cloud nine when Mingyu’s hand that had been cradling her head moves to lightly grip her throat instead while the other rhythmically squeezes and pushes at her ass in time with his thrusts. Her head is tipped back in ecstasy as he kisses along her jaw.

It takes a herculean effort that he wasn’t totally sure he was even capable of, but Mingyu separates himself from the panting woman in his arms. He rocks back on his heels and Kamile’s eyes are immediately drawn to the tantalizing bulge at the apex of his shapely thighs. She reaches for him but Mingyu grabs her wrist before she can get her hands on him. He lifts her hand to his lips, pressing kisses to the back of it.

“Trust me when I say that I would love nothing more than to ravage you right now but if I’m going to be inside you again, I want you to have my ring on your finger.” Kamile starts to speak but stops when Mingyu presses his index finger to her lips. He traces the outline of her kiss swollen lips almost as if he’s in a trance. “I don’t want you to make a decision that you’re not totally comfortable with just because you’re horny. I want you to really want it. I want you to really want us. Now get up so I can feed you.”

A vulgar comment about what she really wants him to feed her crosses Kamile’s mind as Mingyu playfully swats at her thighs to get her moving. She respects his resolve and keeps it to herself but only barely. 

“It’s super nice outside. Wanna go for a walk?” Kamile would actually rather stay inside and enjoy the comforts of the air-conditioning, but Mingyu looks so excited that she finds herself giving in. She disappears upstairs to put on her sneakers mentally kicking herself for being so whipped for the man waiting for her by the patio door.

Mingyu laces his fingers between Kamile’s

They happen across a small stream during their casual stroll around the property. Kamile stops to look at Mingyu to see if he’s on the same wavelength as her. 

“Let’s do it.” 

Their shoes are abandoned under a tree near the creek before running full speed into the water.  The cooler temperature of the water feels like heaven. Kamile squeals when Mingyu splashes her with water. Mingyu suddenly lifts her over his shoulder, using the hand that’s not holding on to her to splash Kamile with more water. She’s out of breath from laughing when he finally lets her down only to steal the rest of her breath away when he surprises her with a kiss. 

“What was that for?” She’s slightly dazed both from the lack of oxygen and the searing kiss he’s just laid on her.

“Because.” He smirks at her before swooping in for yet another kiss.

“And that one?”

“Because part two.” Kamile giggles at his corniness even though she does her best not to give him the satisfaction of knowing it gets to her. Mingyu’s smile somehow gets even bigger at the sound of her laughter. He digs his fingers into his sides to prolong her laughter for his own enjoyment. 

They spend a little longer frolicking around before finally heading back to the house to shower and start on dinner. Kamile unsuccessfully lobbies to shower together but Mingyu is adamant in his refusal. He’s positive that the self-control he exhibited earlier that morning used up all the restraint he could’ve ever hoped to have for the next six months. There’s no way he’d be able to deny her. He kisses her quickly before running off to his own bathroom. 

Mingyu is totally and completely in love. He absentmindedly pushes his food around with his fork as he listens to Kamile rant about the mistreatment and near erasure of some X-Men character named Darwin. He’s got absolutely no idea what she’s talking about but she’s so passionate about it that he can’t help being fascinated. 

“Darwin’s whole entire superpower was that he could adapt to anything and you mean to tell me that robots designed to adapt to and counteract the powers of mutants were built off of Mystique’s DNA? Absolutely not. I might be a little-” Her rant is cut short by her phone ringing on the kitchen counter where she’d left it. She grumbles about being interrupted as she gets up to go get it. It’s Yeojin. 

Kamile returns to the table with her phone, choosing to sit in Mingyu’s lap for their daily check-in. The marriage counselor should get a kick out of that one. Sure enough, their seating arrangement is the first thing that Yeojin comments on. They take turns updating her on everything that’s occurred since they last spoke with her though they leave out some of the more sordid details. 

“This is what I like to hear!” She exclaims with an excited clap of her hands. “It seems that everything is going well right now. Is there anything we haven’t talked about this week that one of you wants to go over? If not, I’m comfortable ending the call here.” They say their goodbyes after confirming that they feel like they’re in a good place right now. Yeojin makes them swear to call her the moment they think they need her but she doubts that she’ll be hearing from them  until their follow-up appointment in a few days. 

Kamile makes to get up to return to her own chair but Mingyu stops her. She shrugs and reaches across the table to grab her own bowl. He smiles to himself as she resumes the rant that she’d been in the middle of before Yeojin’s call. He still has no idea what she’s going on about but he’s content to just listen to her vent. 

Day 7

Anxiety twisting her gut into knots is what eventually pulls Kamile from the bliss of sleep. Mingyu’s side of the bed is empty and she’s thankful for that to a certain extent. She heads for the shower, taking extra care with everything she does until she realizes how cowardly it is to stall like this. Deciding against putting on actual clothes, Kamile opts to just pull on one of oversized hoodies.

“Good morning!” Mingyu leans over to kiss her sweetly before turning back to the pan he’s tending to on the stove. He’s been doing that a lot since yesterday. Just randomly stealing kisses like he’s making up for lost time. 

“Just so you don’t get freaked out when they show up, I’ve got a private chef coming to cook us dinner tonight.” Mingyu mentions as they sit down to eat breakfast. She’s pleasantly surprised that he’s put in so much thought into their anniversary even though he’s yet to directly mention the fact that today is their anniversary. 

Today is their last day in their little safe haven away from the world and the status of their marriage is still technically up in the air. They both know that a decision needs to be made before they leave in the morning, but neither of them has brought it up. It’s like they’ve been tip toeing around the giant elephant in the room and expecting for it to just disappear on its own. 

Other than Mingyu making tteokbeokki, extra spicy and extra cheesy just the way Kamile likes it, they don’t really do much throughout the day. A majority of their time is spent tangled in each other on the couch just talking. They reminisce on the days when they’d first started dating. Kamile nearly falls off of the couch in a fit of laughter at Mingyu’s spot on impression of Vernon’s face when he’d caught them sneaking a few kisses in the dorm kitchen one day. Each memory is sweeter than the last and Kamile is overcome with the urge to make more of those memories. Now that she’s been able to let go of the anger and misplaced resentment that had made her bitter, she actually has hope in that possibility.

The heels of the platform pumps she’d decided on for the night click with every step as Kamile slowly descends the staircase. She’s determined not to let her natural clumsiness send her to the hospital on such an important day. Mingyu holds his hand out to her when she reaches the last few steps. He looks every bit the international superstar that he’s known to be.

“You look absolutely stunning.” Warmth spreads across her face at the whispered compliment. She barely manages to return the favor. Kamile’s nerves are starting to get the better of her and she hopes and prays that there’s wine on the table so that she can drink them away.

Thankfully, Kamile notices a bottle of white wine chilling in an ice bucket next to the table when Mingyu leads her into the dim dining room. The dinner prepared by the chef looks delicious and she’s can’t wait to taste it but wine is her first priority if she expects to make it through dinner without bolting. Her first glass is tipped down her throat in record time much to Mingyu’s amusement. He refills without hesitation though she chooses to actually sip that one as intended.

Conversation flows easily between them as they eat. However, the topic that deserves their attention the most continues to stew on the back burner as they talk about literally anything else. As nervous as Kamile was when she first came downstairs, Mingyu is doubly so. He’s done his almighty best to convince Kamile that their marriage is worth saving without outright begging her. Based on the past few days, he’s incredibly hopeful that she’ll come back home with him tomorrow and stay there but she’s always been a wildcard. You never truly knew what move she was going to make until she made it. The small velvet box in his pocket feels like a stone. During a lull in the conversation, Mingyu makes his move.

“Kamile,” He reaches across the table to grab both of her hands, “Four years ago you agreed to be my girlfriend and I thought that surely that was the happiest day of my life but then you said yes to being my wife and I knew then that I was wrong. You’re the most precious part of my life and I was a fool for not making sure that you knew that every day for the last year.”

Mingyu pauses to get down on one knee next to Kamile, pulling the ring box from his pocket. Her ring is nestled in the tiny velvet box. It sparkles brilliantly even in the dim lighting. “Kamile Kim, will you do me the honor of staying my wife?” 

Tears well up in Kamile’s eyes as she nods her head yes. She’d made countless lists and weighed her options, but in that moment she throws all of that logic to the wind. At the end of the day, Mingyu is the one. He always has been and he always will be. She can’t believe that she almost threw everything away over her own assumptions and insecurities. Mingyu doesn’t hesitate to slide the piece of jewelry onto her trembling hand when she holds it out to him. He stands, pulling her with him so that he can kiss her senseless. 

“I’ve been waiting to say this until I knew where we stood but….happy anniversary, babe.”

“Happy anniversary, Gyu.” She whispers against his lips before kissing him deeply once more. “Now take me upstairs.”

“Your wish is my command, my lady.” 

[lozzypoz321]

Word count: 2.6k

A/N by @morizoras-cave: this was even more fun than the last fic, loz is so so funny and so so talented and i just feel so comfortable writing with her :) also so many… bad things… happened while we wrote this. I mean it was chaotic.. I hope you enjoy its LONG

A/N by lozzypoz321: this was so much fun to write and I loved it!! Honestly you do not want to know what happened behind the scenes because that was a m e s s. Vic is such and amazing writer and deserves so much love! Hope you enjoy!!

Warnings: bad language!

Sleepover (Collab)

-

“Kid, open the door!” your head snapped to the door of your hotel room. You recognised Sebastian’s voice coming from outside. “Open up!”

“I’m coming” you yelled, padding over to the door and opening up. Sebastian and Anthony stood out there. They looked oddly child-like as they stood there with their sleeping bags and dressed in pjs. You snorted. “Well, hello to you too!”

“Don’t laugh, N/n, this is serious.” Anthony said as you walked out, you also dressed in your marvel pjs and with a sleeping bag in hand. Although, you thought, it was hard to take him seriously when he was dressed in Winnie The Pooh slippers.

“Whatever you say, man.”

The entirety of the marvel cast had planned a sleepover on set. It was very secret, apparently. You didn’t know the full story, but they had seemingly asked the directors if they could have an onset sleepover and they’d refused, so someone had to steal a key. It was a whole process, but nonetheless you found yourself on the way to set at around 10:30.

“Is anyone bringing snacks?” you asked. You, Seb and Anthony were walking down the street. You could see the set already. “Damn, I hope so” Anthony mumbled and you all continued walking.

When you got there Elizabeth was standing outside, holding the door open with what you assumed was the stolen key. She ushered you inside. “You’re late and for some reason I’m not surprised.”

Inside all the others were already waiting, the entirety of the cast. Notably, you could see that Robert, Scarlett and Mark had created a pillow fort, and were hiding out in the coziness with a bag of popcorn.

“Welcome, late-comers!” Robert greeted you dramatically, standing up in his Iron Man onesie. “You’ve missed the pizzas. You know, because you’re late!”

“It’s fine, we already ate. Which is why we’re late,” Sebastian pointed nodded to Anthony. You nodded along.

Everyone sat down on a large stretch of couches, blankets and pillows, where Elizabeth had placed a projector pointed to an empty wall of the set. You sat down with Tom (Hiddleston), Sebastian and Mark. It was a rather weird thing to see so many grown men and women (that you had previously had respect for) in their most colourful pjs, but you supposed it was on you to expect any differently from this cast of people.

Chris (Evans) had picked a movie and, unsurprisingly, he picked Iron Man 1. Robert protested for about two seconds, before he let everyone shower him in compliments because that movie was so damn good. “Okay okay, I guess we can watch it if we really have to”

Scarlett lightly laughed and pressed a button on the projector to start the movie after placing the disk inside that Chris (Evans) had brought from his collection at his house. “Where’s the snacks?” You heard Chris (Hemsworth) loudly whisper to Scarlett who sat next to him.

“Ooh do we have popcorn?” You quietly asked Sebastian who nodded and reached across Anthony who was laid next to him to retrieve the salted popcorn that Mark had gotten just for you as he was in charge of the snack committee. Chris (Evans) silently got up, after making sure nobody noticed him (except from you), and crawled across the room in his rapunzel pjs on his hands and knees to reach Robert who was now on the verge of unconsciousness with dribble falling from the side of his mouth. Trying to be discreet, he raised his hands scarily behind him, gaining everybody’s attention in the room except Robert, and suddenly pounced on him in a playful manner.

The man leapt up without warning with wide eyes the size of dinner plates and held his hands up as if he was doing karate in a mode of self defence. Everybody in the room burst out laughing at his reaction, Chris (Evans) reaching for his left pec as he leant back on his knees in a full on belly laugh. “You looked like you were a 6 year old girl” Scarlett laughed out and shook her head towards the man, who was now grumbling as he sat back down on his spot with an abundance of blankets by his side.

“All the snacks are gone” Anthony exclaimed to the cast, making Tom (Hiddleston) look up from the screen and ponder “well we could do something that doesn’t require food” he suggested, making everyone look at him to continue.

“I mean, we could play hide and seek?”

“Oh!” You exclaimed excitedly, one of your first inputs of the night “I’d love to play hide and seek! My dad used to do it with me all the time!”

Your happy demeanour made them all smile as you began explaining how he would hide next to you while your brother tried to find both of you. “Well it’s settled then, we’re playing hide and seek!” Chris (Hemsworth) announced in his Australian accent, before you could be told twice, you jumped up and grabbed Sebastian's hand before racing out of the room, not even giving anybody a second glance.

“Woah, where are we going?” Sebastian chuckled, following your rapid footsteps. “Don’t worry about this, Seb, I’ve the perfect hiding spot!” It was a little bit embarrassing to admit, but every time you entered a new place, you thought about the best hiding spots (in case of an unwarranted game of hide and seek).

You pulled Sebastian into the costume room and shuffled awkwardly into the back. There, you found your masterful hiding place. It was a vent, but not a small one. It was big. Sebastian looked at you in surprise. “Not bad, Y/n.”

You popped the cover right off, catching Sebastian off guard. “I unscrewed it back in February,” you explained and jumped inside. Sebastian seemed to want to question you further, but instead just shrugged to himself and followed you inside, closing the vent cover behind him.

“This really is the perfect place,” he mumbled, voice echoing slightly in the vents. It was pretty cold, but stable. “And hey, didn’t you say that your dad used to hide with you?” He asked while looking around the airy place. “Oh, um, yeah” you said sheepishly, just now remembering the moment in the other room.

“Um- I-I mean, not that you’re my- Like, my dad-” you stammered, blushing at the awkward moment, “Like- My dad is my dad- You’re just- I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to make this awkward, I just-”

“Shut up!” Sebastian hissed suddenly. You looked at him, taken aback. He was staring out the vent covers, and then looked back at you with a grin. He pointed to it silently. Your brows furrowed, and you looked out. You saw Chris in the room, hand holding a flashlight while aiming it around the room, trying to find a sign of anybody. You held your breath.

“I know you’re in here! I can smell your fear!” he yelled trying to act scary. Meanwhile, he just looked kind of goofy in his Disney princess pjs. You saw Sebastian beside you, trying not to laugh. His face was contorted into a forced frown, but a smile still crept up the corners of his mouth. Seeing his face, you started feeling the urge to laugh too.

You both laughed silently, trying so hard to not give away your position to Chris. You were failing miserably.

“I will find you!” Chris said again, and this time Sebastian let out a laugh, immediately clamping a hand over his mouth. His eyes widened and so did yours. Chris stopped moving, snapping his head around furiously. “Who was that? Where are you?”

You saw the moment Sebastian decided to give up on hiding, as he just suddenly started laughing like a maniac. You did too, both of you clutching your stomachs. Chris scoffed and tore the vent cover off, revealing the two of you laughing uncontrollably.

“Come on, guys, it wasn’t that funny!” Chris sighed, but he was wrong, it was definitely that funny. You guys went back to the movie room. Robert, Tom, Scarlett and Anthony had all already been found.

“Welcome to the losers!” Tom grumbled. You both sat down with him and chatted while waiting for the others to turn up. The next was Mark, who had been hiding under a table, and then Elizabeth who wasn’t even trying, but was somehow second last anyway.

Then came the waiting game. Hemsworth, the biggest of you all, the goofiest, and seemingly the easiest to spot, was still at large. Chris was hopelessly searching, but came back every ten minutes with a more and more depressed look on his attractive face.

“I can’t find him!” he admitted finally. There was a collective sigh, and then everyone started searching together, simultaneously calling out “Chris! The aussie one!” Eventually you did find him, crammed behind a couch uncomfortably.

When you finally did, Anthony (as well as several others) seemed to have only grown hungrier, and the need for snacks was larger than ever. “I swear to god if we don’t find food right now I may just quit the job” Anthony swore and huffed as he crossed both his arms over his chest. “That seems a bit dramatic but okay” Scarlett laughed as the ten of you rounded a corner in the building to only come face to face with an abundance of vending machines that everyone used at break and you all had seemingly forgotten about. “Woah” Tom said, impressed at the arrangement.

“Food galore” Elizabeth expressed and was the first one to walk towards, closer to the arrangement, leaving the rest of you by the wall with your jaws dropped. “If I’m sick, don’t blame it on me” you quietly expressed, making Mark laugh from his spot next to you.

Trying not to seem too excited, Anthony ran forward, eyes following each and every item of edible food and drink. “I think you better hurry up” Tom commented from his spot the furthest from you, noticing the way Anthony and Chris were now eyeing your favourite type of chips.

“Umm yeah, that sounds like a good idea”

You, Robert and Sebastian immediately went over to the vending machine that was holding doritos, lays, and other classic chips. “Um, about earlier,” you mumbled to the Romanian man as Robert began to shake the machine with force, hoping something would fall down “I didn’t mean it like that” your cheeks flooded with embarrassment as the memory came flashing back to you.

But before you could start apologising even more, he stopped you and sent a reassuring smile your way “don’t worry about it Y/N, I know what you meant.” He gave your shoulder a small squeeze, before going back to watching Robert yelling at the Doritos to “fall out, you big pussy!”

Before Chris (Evans) and Tom could come over to your side of the room to be responsible adults and make a rational decision, Chris (Hemsworth) had already come bounding over to you and kicked the glass where the chips were held behind. He put full force behind the kick, so it shattered and fell loudly with a crash to the ground.

“Erm. Good idea?”

For no reason at all the situation was just funny to you, so while everyone in the room was stood still shocked (apart from Hemsworth who rocked back and forth on his feet sheepishly) you began to laugh(bitch). “What’s funny? You could literally cut your feet if you move!” Tom exclaimed with wide eyes, “you can’t get hurt we need to return you to your mom the same as we got you!”

Without warning Chris (Evans) ran over to you, making sure to carefully avoid the glass panes. “I’m not getting sued for this shit” he muttered as he picked you up and brought you over to a corner, which was a safe distance away from the wreckage.

“Alright, this has gotten out of hand,” Mark ran a hand through his hair, as he surveyed the broken glass on the floor in distress. Elizabeth nodded. You made eye contact with Scarlett and Anthony, who very clearly didn’t share the same concern that Mark and Elizabeth did. You all giggled quietly.

“But uh, let’s take advantage of the situation, eh?” Chris (Hemsworth) pulled a couple bags of doritos out of the broken vending machine, “Free doritos?” He shook the bags playfully. There was a moment where people seemed to question whether they prioritized their dignity of the free doritos, and it’s fair to say that a large number of them chose the doritos.

You all went back to the movie room, collapsing on your mattresses and blankets, with your snacks. But before any of you could begin to focus on the movie once again, a sudden gasp broke out from across the room. “He has the last bag of Doritos!”

“No I don’t” Hemsworth was quick to deny Elizabeth’s claim but everyone could see the full bag that he had attempted to stuff under his blanket. All of a sudden, Scarlett leapt out of her sleeping bag, trying to reach the chips before he did, but unfortunately all the gym workouts he had been going to (or yoga lessons you weren’t really sure) were paying off, as he held the woman at bay so he could grab the snack and hold it far out of her reach.

“Give it” she grunted and tried to reach past his grip and take the chips for herself, but before she had a chance, Chris (Evans) jumped up from his spot over by Tom and snatched the bag from him, holding a victorious grin on his face. Chris (Hemsworth) pouted angrily at his costar, not bothering to fight back as he knew it would be a losing battle (he was captain America for Christ’s sake). But you had a trick up your sleeve, you wanted those chips and you were going to get them whether it was the last thing you did.

Picking up the pillow beside you, you held it up as a shield as ran forward as fast as you could, taking in the confused expression Chris held in his face before you smashed into his stomach, knocking the air out of your lungs but unfortunately, not his.

He chuckled deeply as you smashed back into the wooden floors groaning as the pain surged through you. “I don’t think that worked as well as you thought it would” Mark commented from his comfortable spot on his mattress.

“No, it really didn’t”

The movie ended, and slowly but surely people started going to bed. There were yawns and stretches around you all bundled together on the floor. You too found yourself growing tired, stuffing yourself into your sleeping bag and getting comfortable.

“Goodnight!” you murmured and those who were awake mumbled it back drowsily. You distinctly heard Sebastian mutter back to you from his sleeping bag “shut up, I’m tired”. You chuckled for the last time that night, as soon sleep overcame you.

Then, at the the crack of dawn, a scream came from the nearest entrance: “WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK-”

And that was the inspiring story of how body searches became a daily routine on set, so the Russos could make sure no one had gotten their grubby hands on an extra key.

-

@rooskaya-yelena @deephideoutmilkshake @kidney9-9 @marvel-ous-hobbit @snarky--starky @rae-is-typing @stargazingfangirl18 @canadianhufflepuffavenger @herecomesthewriterwitch @every-marveler-ever

[fanfictiondreamscape]

Where the Hell am I? (pt. 1)

Title: Where the Hell am I? (pt. 1) 

Genre: comedy, lil floofy (if you squint, I promise), and a lil dramatic - mostly comedic, though. 

Pairing: Aizawa Shota x Reader

Notes: This is, yet again, an idea that was pitched to me by one of my friends over Snapchat. I did take some liberties, contrary to their idea, but I read it and I just HAD to do it. 

Frankly, it made me so happy! I thought that I’d split this, maybe not, but if you want another character (or characters) for this prompt - please let me know!

Some warnings, though; there will be plenty of swearing, so proceed with caution! The reader is also aged up, 21+ purely for the comfort of the writer. I imagine them to be around 24-25, but go about it however you like! 

Below the cut! 

“You really need to stop watching that childish garbage, y’know. You’re too old for that.”

“Grow up already! People your age don’t watch shit like that!” 

“None of that will help you get by in life; stop watching that and get your life together already!”

AKA, things I, (Y/n) (L/n) hear on a daily basis. 

Hello, dear reader! I’m (Y/n), as you’ve already presumed, and according to my family and friends, I waste my time watching what they call ‘immature junk’. I like to call it anime, but whatever floats their boat. 

I have graduated from college, but I still live with a couple of roommates. My diploma has been sitting on the stack of boxes in the corner of my junk, and no matter how hard I’ve tried, the degree has never seemed to win over anybody in the field.

I’ve struggled with a job hunt for a while now, and I’m getting tired of trying to find something that can tie me over for a little while. I know that the job wouldn’t last, something that has followed me around for the longest time no matter how well I completed any given tasks, but I need something to pitch to the split rent. 

I like to think that my roommates haven’t thought of kicking me to the curb as well, but frankly, they’ve probably found a way to do that or leave my ass sat on the empty apartment floor. Whatever the case, things haven’t been working out well for me at all. 

I’ve been broke on and off as of late, and the only things I have managed to keep consistent was my laptop ownership, my phone ownership, and my clothing and personal items. I’ve been making sure that I have cut back on using many things, but it was starting to bite me now. 

Today, of all days, was the one day that everything was seemingly coming to a head. My roommates were both at each other’s throats and took their frustration out on me (for no reason, honestly - I had already paid my portion of the utilities for the the month and had stayed quiet), my mom had just been admitted to the hospital, and my sibling has been taunting me from her fancy-schmancy upscale home by calling me a loser, deadbeat, etc. - all in all, a shitty day. 

Normally, things like this wouldn’t bother me that much (aside from the pandemic confirmation), but this has been a long time coming and I was at my breaking point. 

That night, I had just let everything be. Not a good thing considering the note that they were left on, but I can’t deal with the presence of people that are immature assholes that haven’t been taught to face your issues head-first, and I am too tired to put up with it anymore. 

I grabbed my laptop and opened up my Funimation account. If I could trust no one in the physical world, then I could trust someone in the fictional world instead. 

I had scrolled through, but when I saw that I had watched everything I planned to, I made the final decision to rewatch one - that anime being Boku No Hero Academia, I was pretty content to watch these teenagers grow in a way that I was unable to - nostalgic value in the anime can be spotted, but you have to look closely. 

The opening narration by Deku had started, and as the episodes continued, I got tired. I don’t remember when this happened, but I think I actually fell asleep around episode 5. No matter, things started to blur and I slept. 

...

Everything felt warm and windy, my clothes were brushing against my hands, and I felt extremely groggy. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Well, except for the fact that I felt like I was sleeping on a literal rock, and it was seemingly moving. 

The rocking of whatever it was I was laying on was what woke me up completely, all the sleep forgotten in favor of figuring out what the object was. Looking down, it seemed to be a sheet of metal, and my god - did it stink. ‘Am I laying down in a dumpster?’

After looking down, I did indeed find out that I was sleeping near one. Or in one. Whatever fits, I guess. 

Everything about this situation seemed like I had, somehow, fallen into a blackout drunk stupor. The likelihood of that happening, though, is very low - I have actively avoided any alcohol intake following my 21st birthday. And I had apparently decided to become an emotional drunk when I did reach that point, so that was even more unlikely. 

With that knowledge, this seemed especially fishy. I had to get to the bottom of it. 

I had slipped out of the area slowly, making sure to not accidentally cut my leg or arm on a raw metallic edge, and tread down the alley that I had been sleeping in. 

I didn’t recognize the buildings around me, everything seemed to be a lot more colorful and definitely an extremely far departure from the decrepit, run-down shithole that I had to call a ‘house’. The sky was also so much bluer than what I was used to. 

My parents and other family lived in better areas than I did, but that sky wasn’t what got me - it was the commotion that was coming from around the corner. The sound was so familiar, and I just couldn’t help but assume something crazy: did I land in the world of My Hero? 

‘No, no, no - that’s not possible. That can’t be possible. Your roommates have just lost their shit and threw you out on the street.’ That had to be it, it had to be. There was no other possible situation, though they would have just thrown my ass to the curb and not a dumpster in a generally clean city. 

Yeah, they couldn’t have done that. Or, maybe they did want to kick me out but realized that throwing me out in the dumpster would warrant some legal claims against them, so they decided to inform a family member that actually gave a damn. Then again, the one that was closest lived over two states away, so that also wouldn’t happen so quick. 

“Ugh, my head hurts...”

A crash sounded through the alleyway, and I had made the conclusion that if I don’t leave now, I would get crushed under debris. That being decided, I made a mad dash out of said alley to the opposite end of the sound.

As soon as I left, the obnoxious technicolor of it all made me do a double take. What the hell is with this color palette?

“Are you lost?” 

I jumped from the question. It wasn’t until I turned around that something hit me: yeah, this is most definitely N O T my world. 

The person that had inquired my direction status had a huge spike sticking out of either hand. Their head was shaped normally, their eyes were a dark blue color, and they had short hair. I couldn’t tell if they were male or female, or even non-binary, but I was too freaked out to care. Best bet for this situation, though, was to go with the flow no matter what happens. I refuse to risk my safety any further. 

“I, uh...um, yeah. Yeah, I am lost - but may I ask who wants to know?”

They breathed a sigh of relief, and their hands transformed into regular ones. The only explanation for this was that I was going crazy, or that I really landed in the world of My Hero. “Oh, thank god. I thought you were a villain for a second. Follow me before you get hit,” they said before they directed me further away from the soon-to-be-destroyed building. 

We had made some small talk - if you could even call it that - as we evacuated, and I found out that their name was Dylan. They were apparently an off-duty hero, though that could be left up to debate considering no hero would voluntarily reveal their identity to someone on the street. Though they could have also assumed that I was a regular citizen, as well. 

Didn’t help that I was still completely and utterly fucked on the front of knowledge - still confused, for a shorter explanation. 

The commotion was still very prevalent as I continued walking with Dylan, and when we finally reached the town, the volume was so much more deafening. The sight was as well. 

Two people were fighting in mid-air, one with a dark jacket and leather pants. Gloves were on their hands, but the big kicker was their mouth - it was almost warped into a joker smile, cuts and all, but it was full of teeth. Their eyes, from what I could see from my spot  on the ground, were very large and red. I wish I could have seen more, though. 

The other one was wearing some garb that mimicked Deadpool, though it was very obviously not him since there were some very obvious legs that were protruding from each side of their body. If I was observing them correctly, too, there were eight legs and multiple eyes. A spider hero? Like, a literal spider hero? 

“(Y/n), I’m sure that you’re curious and a little freaked out, but I’m going to ask that you stay here with the crowd,” Dylan said. They laid their hand on my shoulder as I stared at the view in front of me. I absently nodded, muttering a small and measly, “Got it,” as the realization of everything sunk in. 

I really am in the My Hero world. I really landed in a fictional world. 

Holy shit, I’m completely and totally screwed. 

There are so many things that could go wrong, so many things that would warrant a worry. Besides that, though, the thing that’s just hit me now that I know that I’m in their world is the most worrying. 

Whose quirk got so screwed that I got transported here? Do I have to find that person to return to my world? Even then, was this done on purpose? In that case, would they want to send me back? What if it’s a villain and they want something? So many things can go so severely wrong. 

I couldn’t leave my head now. I could, quite literally, die here and no one would notice. 

My blank stare didn’t go unnoticed by certain citizens around me, but their attention was soon diverted - as was mine - at the newest occurrence on the scene. The spider hero was dropping lower, the (supposed) villain was falling quickly to the floor, and another hero stood above the two on top of a nearby building. Cheers erupted through the crowd as the commotion was met with flashing lights, news reporters, and gossip writers. 

It took a second for me to notice, but the other hero on the building was Kamui Woods. Though I would later find this out, too, Mt. Lady was taking care of the runaway villain - she blew up larger with said villain in her hands a bit away from the scene with a triumphant smirk. 

Though there was some slight commotion from the shaken media reporters, they quickly fell back into their goals and started to plow through the crowd. People were being pushed left, right, and forward.

Through this chaos, though, I noticed Dylan pushing against the people looking winded. Eventually, they made it to me while panting. “Okay, so,” they began, “We should probably leave now, but I want to ask you some questions.”

I shrugged, taking a deep breath. “You need to ask, fire away. I need some answers anyway.”

We settled on a nearby restaurant, Dylan offering to pay for whatever food I ordered, and got down to the questions. 

“I noticed that you were stiff when you saw the fight. It wasn’t the normal kind of stiff, either.” 

Dylan’s words seemed off. How could they see a difference in shock between me and the citizens? A villain attack is a villain attack, right? 

“It was more...upset, for lack of a better word. What’s going on with that?” they inquired, making me stiffen. I didn’t realize that I was that odd in the crowd.

I wasn’t sure how to phrase my answer, but I had to say something. Unless I said it straight out, this would probably be a failure to explain. And people may look at me like I’ve lost it. 

“Well...I...”

Dammit.

I’ve just gotta say it. 

“I think I’ve been transported between realities. This one isn’t mine, I fell asleep in a dingy apartment, woke up here, and I’m-”

“Okay, I think I have an idea of what’s going on. I could help you, but it may take some time. Until then, let’s find a way to make sure that you don’t get screwed while you’re here, sound good?”

I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful. Then the thought hit me.

“Wait, how would you know? How can I trust you? Prove that you’re a hero, and then I’ll think about that offer.”

They chuckled a little, seemingly nonplussed, and reached for their hero license. After taking a look at it, I determined that this was a real license. You can’t get one unless you passed the exam, and even then, there are very few circumstances in which you can get one and not be a hero. 

“Getting closer, but still not there. I need more proof.”

Nodding again, they grabbed their cell and opened their messages in front of me. Their phone screen was face up, and they turned it to face me. I saw messages between Kamui and Dylan. I scrolled through the messages to make sure that they weren’t faked, and the image moved. 

“One more thing. If that’s the case, then tell me what your quirk is.”

“Well, my quirk is body morphing, or shape shifting. I can’t shift into anything that’s living, though - and I can’t keep up form for too long of a time. That enough for you?”

I paused, weighing the options - they’ve shown enough awareness, and they do have proof for what I provided, but how can I be sure that this isn’t just a ploy to trap a citizen and get the attention of the heroes? 

“Okay, here’s what I am gonna do - I’m going to trust you. I have nowhere else to go, nor do I have any idea as to why I’m here, and I can’t go about life here without some help,” I uttered, urgency (and possibly a little fear) in my tone of voice. 

With a nod, their bouncy curls following the action. They seemed satisfied, and I had finally found some sense of stability.

I can now figure this shit out. 

[justapayneaway]

It took me a while to compile all these Ziam fics, but here we are with a long list of beautiful stories for everybody that is interested in reading Liam & Zayn fall in love or be in love a lot of times! 

A big shout out to every single fic writer out there in the world... You’re amazing and I thank you every single day for the amazing stories y’all write! 

Enjoy and have a good read ❤️

0k - 20k

There's so Much that We Need to Share by Lovelyziam (1k) The sight of snow didn’t make the cold worth it to Zayn, no. It was this: Liam’s body snug and soft in front of him, pressed tightly to Zayn’s chest while he sat between Zayn’s thighs. It was his arms wrapped around Liam’s waist and their fingers interwoven beneath their pile of blankets. It was the warmth radiating from Liam’s back and slowly seeping into Zayn, making him sleepy and languid despite the freezing press of Liam’s toes against his own.

Sunshine through my window by sunnysideup (2k) Fic idea about Liam being a happy puppy in the sun and Zayn hears him through his window, sees him for the first time and poof, he's in love.

Drive Safe, I Love You by JoMouse (3k) Liam surprises his son with a day at a Motorcycle Bike Show. While there, he finds out about Mini Moto and meets the man who runs a team.

I Know The Sound Of Your Heart by LibbyWrites (7k) Liam always adored the peace and quiet of his neighborhood. Until a new neighbor shows up and turns his world upside down with much more than just loud music.

Most Poetic Ride or Die Death Wish by LetTheMusicMoveYou (10k) Or the one where Niall convinces Liam to join Tinder and a slight miscommunication might make it the best mistake he's ever made.

Get a little bit nervous by louistomlinsons (14k) Ziam farmer's market au where liam, louis, and niall work at the produce stand, harry and zayn work at the bakery stand, and nobody's straight.

Favourite Entertainer by eternallyunleashed (15k) Zayn is a popular YouTuber well known for uploading song covers and original music on his channel and doing podcasts on murder mysteries. He’s amassed a couple million followers and dedicated fanbase. After endless requests from fans, he introduces them to his boyfriend Liam and does the ‘boyfriend does my makeup challenge.'

Just the two of us and a cute little cup of cyanide by orphan_account (17k) An I-accidentally-married-my-best-mate-in-Vegas fic, where Liam's completely oblivious, Zayn's completely in love, Harry's had enough, Louis plays mediator and Niall just wants his best friends to be with each other.

Only Place I Call Home by scottmcniceass (17k) Liam works at a coffee shop; Zayn is a homeless street performer who plays just outside the shop. Sometimes Liam brings Zayn coffee and donuts and in exchange Zayn sings for him.

20k - 40k

We are the quiet ones by englandziam (22k) University AU where Zayn is an English student and Liam is the football captain.

Until you believe it by lizee (23k) Where Zayn and Liam meet at a sixth form party and Zayn offers to tutor him. He doesn't expect himself to fall in love with the kid while he's at it.

Ridiculous by scottmcniceass (24k) They are every cliched high school story. The jock and the rebel. The popular boy and the outsider. They shouldn't fit, and they definitely shouldn't work, but they sort of do anyways.

Wake up the part of me that has fallen asleep by nooelgallagher & yoursongonmyheart (24k) The one where Liam discloses something incredibly personal about his sex life and Louis hatches a plan to help him - which may or may not include Zayn.

Can I Keep You by scottmcniceass (26k) Liam is always trying to do what's best for himself and his daughter, but raising a kid on his own at twenty-two, on top of juggling school work and a full-time job, isn't easy. Zayn just wants a chance to show Liam that he's not going to walk out on them. And Liam's daughter, Emma? She just wants to keep Zayn.

I just can't keep you too far from my thoughts by halleluzayn (28k) The YouTuber AU fic where Zayn is not a beauty vlogger, Liam types like an over excited teenage girl, Louis is a Harry Styles fanboy, Harry is basically Ed Sheeran, and Niall is Liam's video editor that really needs to get laid already.

Down the vista of years by ohthathurt (cloisterrific_221B) (30k) Zayn whispered, “So where do we go from here?”Liam shrugged, seemingly lost in thought. Then he smiled down at his boyfriend, “Forward?”Zayn smiled serenely, eyes twinkling like gold in the sun seeping through the open windows. He nodded, “Forward.”

I'll Be Strong For You by scottmcniceass (30k) When Zayn breaks his leg attempting to skateboard over Harry's car, he ends up stuck in the hospital for two weeks. The only thing he doesn't hate about the hospital is the gorgeous volunteer, Liam, who is almost annoyingly sunny and happy. But Liam's got a secret a secret hidden behind his impossibly bright smile.

It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn by historyziam (30k) At a time in his life when Zayn thinks he has forgotten what genuine happiness feels like, Liam comes into the picture and changes everything.

Somehow I Still Carry On, Burdened By Fears by slashter (31k) Liam's been kidnapped but doesn't remember Zayn and Zayn struggles with loss and love and heartbreak all over again.

You Never Give Up On Me by sunshinexbomb (31k) In which Zayn is an English teacher tempted to write awful poetry about the warm coffee color of Liam's eyes, Liam is a primary ed teacher and single parent who thinks he's too busy to be in a relationship, Niall and Harry are the sickeningly cute newlywed teachers in the school, and Louis is a drama teacher who is not-so-patiently waiting for the day of his own wedding.

The Truth Will Set You Free by loveandbeloved (34k) Zayn wakes up the next day to the news that Liam has taken on the case of the kid, to oppose Zayn and prove that he isn’t a killer.To say he’s pissed beyond belief goes without saying, but somehow he thinks that he should’ve seen this coming.

So let's say, I'll come another day by sophieisgod (36k) Zayn meets Liam in 1999, swinging on the gate in his back yard. Liam meets Zayn in 2010, killing time in McDonald’s on the most important day of his life. They have adventures, conquer the world, and fall in love. A story about fate, timing, free will, wonky genetics, parallel universes, significant tattoos, emotional haircuts, sudden nudity, sex crying, and a Batman t-shirt from HMV.

Be cruel to me ('cause I'm a fool for you) by frenchkiss (37k) The one where Zayn is a stressed out single dad, Liam might just be what he needs, Louis and Niall are always happy to babysit and Harry's a loud snorer.

I’ll never stop choosing you babe, i’ll never get used to you by redsweater (37k) Zayn and Liam are happily married until they're not. 

Twisting to the sun and the moon by orphan_account (37k) (2nd part is also amazing!) Liam has three simple, non-negotiable rules when it comes to one-offs. And he doesn't ever fall for someone he associates with hotel sheets and lust. But this kid, Zayn, twists things inside of him he's not expecting. Suddenly, the rules don't make any sense at all.

My Reflection; All I See Is You by taecheeks (38k) (There is a 2nd part too!) This life, it's forever. That's what being immortal means, but Zayn didn't realize it would take him this long to realize it. What good is forever if nothing else is?

40k - 60k

Every Step by taecheeks (40k) Every step Liam takes, it's for her, Lily. And every path he's journeyed has somehow led him to Zayn.

Here I Stand by StormDancer (40k) Zayn lifts his chin, turns so that he’s facing Harry. He doesn’t look at Liam, because he can’t bear to look, and because he’s really not trying to be mean or pointed. Liam can do what he wants. But Zayn drew a line in the sand a long time ago, and it matters. “I’m not hiding, Haz. This is who I am. They can deal with it.”

You're The Shining Distraction That Makes Me Fly by Romancemesomeziam (40k) Zayn is a recently new single father, falling into his role without ease until Liam, his son's first grade teacher, helps him a little to adapt to the new lifestyle.

Lover Dearest by scottmcniceass (43k) "First rule, babe," Zayn says, leaning down. His lips slide over Liam's jaw, barely there, just a soft pressure, fleeting and gone as soon as it came. "Never trust a vampire."He's grinning as he climbs off Liam, heading for the door. Liam watches him go, thinking that he's wrong. The first rule should be to not fall in love with one.

Some moments are rare by orphan_account (46k) Zayn is spending a summer studying aboard; thirty days across Europe, with his best mate by his side. It's always been like this ― Zayn and Liam. And he's always been a bit daft about love, or the fact that Liam's always been in love with him. It's all a bit of a mess, actually.

Until two and two is three by orphan_account (47k) They're perfect for her, Lily, even if she's their best mates' daughter -- except they hate each other. But life plays out a little comically and a lot tragically sometimes. And Liam will never get over how much he loves Lily or how much he hates Zayn, but they're all she has left now.

Like Peter Pan (Or Superman) by orphan_account (48k) Zayn has spent most of his life up until now in a cloud of smoke, hiding from his past, being different. When a firefighter named Liam rescues him from a fire, Zayn starts to realize maybe Liam's saved his life in another way... and he's not quite sure he's ready to be that guy he should've been all along. But maybe, just for Liam, he can?

Good Thing At a Bad Time by scottmcniceass (49k) Zayn prefers to be on his own. It's easier to survive when you don't have to worry about anyone else. Liam leads a large group of people that have taken residence in an abandoned prison. When Zayn wakes up in a prison cell, all he can think about is finding a way out. Liam makes him want to stay.

It keeps my veins hot (the fire's found a home in me) by loveontherocks (51k) The one where zayn survives a fire and falls in love with the firefighter that saved him.

Not Happening by scottmcniceass (53k) Zayn and Liam are roommates. They hate each other. (Most of the time.)

And you take me the way I am by orphan_account (54k) Liam needs a date to a wedding. His family loves to match him up with blind dates. He doesn't want that. He needs a date... and, well, why not Zayn. Pretending to be boyfriends for a weekend isn't the worst idea he supposes. Liam is horribly wrong.

It's You by happily_missy (56k) Liam is a PA for a famous fashion designer and Zayn is their gorgeous new model. Or the one where Liam is in control of everything except for the fact that he keeps getting hard around Zayn and Zayn refuses to admit that Liam might be everything he's been looking for all along.

Your Lips On Mine by zipplekink (56k) The one where Zayn is a camboy, who likes to think about the fit mechanic with a liking for leather jackets and scruffy beards from uni during his shows. And Liam, the mechanic, who realizes his new roommate is Bradford, the man with the smooth skin covered in tattoos that Liam watches late at night with a hand wrapped around himself.

Face to Face by JoMouse (57k) Liam's fiance lost her ring. Zayn found it in his girlfriend's rucksack. What happens when the ring brings them face to face?

Floating On The Water by scottmcniceass (58k) Liam just wants to get through his last summer working at Malik Resort before University without incident. Of course, life is never that easy, and he ends up getting roped into giving the bosses son, Zayn, swimming lessons. That wouldn't be so bad, if Zayn didn't happen to hate him so much.

Hold on When You Get Love (and Let Go When You Give It) by orphan_account (59k) Where Zayn's studying Lit at Uni and Liam is a construction worker who catches Zayn's eye every day he passes by.

Let Me Drown Slowly by fruityoatey_bahhh (59k) The one where Liam's a prostitute, and Zayn just wants to be kept warm at night.

60k - 80k

These Faded Stars Along Our Horizons by ch3stpaynes (60k) Zayn isn't used to this; the buzzing feeling that comes along with pinched grins, cherry red lips and eyes like Sunday morning coffee. He's used to smogged out cities, not enough oxygen between each breath and perhaps a few spliffs with the boys when the weather isn't absolutely dreadful. And Liam Payne may just flip all of his priorities upside down.

Habits Of The Heart by taecheeks (61k) “I’ll be really good to you,” Liam whispers, sliding an arm under Zayn’s shoulder like he is a pillow. Zayn closes his eyes, remembering when Liam had said those same words to him while laying on his chest before they started dating. The same feeling rattles in his chest, the same uncertainty, the same need for his words to remain true.“I know,” Zayn whispers, massaging his fingers through Liam’s hair. “You always have.”Liam pushes up, brows furrowing together as he stares down at him, the humor in his face turning far more serious. “And I always will, Zayn.”

I See You Babe, But We Are Both Blind by SoftlyandSwiftly (61k) One Direction returns to London for a break from their Take Me Home Tour in August 2013, and after an unfortunate run-in at a coffee shop, Liam and Zayn find themselves in a fake relationship. Except, it ends up not feeling fake at all.

Run For the Woods Now by jmcats (62k) (there are other 3 parts to this one so read them all because they are amazing!) Zayn knows some of the best and worst moments start with one of Louis' ideas. Still, it's almost as if everyone knew where this, his life, was going when Harry and Liam moved into Wagner’s old flat, with that stupid plant sitting in the doorway, and too many cigarettes and Justin Timberlake for any of this to have been one of those classically clichéd love stories.And Zayn doesn't do clichés. Not until Liam, that is.

Some Love Wait Till Its Time by wasp (63k) University!AU where heart-in-the-right place but always-trying-to-save-people Liam Payne meets slightly pretentious hipster Zayn and tries to mend his broken heart.

Keep this love (in a photograph) by carissima (64k) The one where Liam's a fireman, Zayn's a photographer and yeah, there's a calendar shoot or two involved.

The bittersweet between my teeth by gaysubtexts (64k) Liam and Zayn grow up together, louis, niall, and harry tagging along later on. 

According to your heart (my place is not deliberate) by orphan_account (65k) A university-volleyball au in which Zayn hates the game but he does it for a scholarship. And for Louis. And possibly for the new freshman setter who keeps teaching Zayn new things.

The beauty of this mess by orphan_account (67k) Zayn loves this city, loves his boys, loves the salty taste of the surf on his tongue even though he hates the ocean... but he's not expecting to fall in love with Liam and all of his little secrets, too. Not enough to stick around in this sandy city of teenage dreams.

Let's pretend it's love by wafflehood (68k) Pretend!boyfriends fic in which Liam and Zayn get papped while hamming it up for Louis and Eleanor, and management decides the easiest way to deal with the resulting hysteria is to let it run its course.

Simple truths of belonging by soofyahn (68k) Liam spends ten years building the career for himself that he’s always wanted, and spends the same span of time falling out of communication with the one person he can’t reason why he misses. They find each other, again, stumbling around each other for a moment until they fall together in new, unpredictable ways.

Until the End of Time by theyinlove (68k) Zayn Malik lives a pretty decent life. He’s got an incredible family, a nice little place for him and his three sweethearted dogs, an amazing group of friends, and a good, stable job. Aside from the bouts of depression he may occasionally fall into and the intense anxiety he battles, he feels good about where he is in his life. But what do you get when a hunky fireman, who also happens to be a piece of sunshine on earth, walks into a bar? You get a cautious of love man realizing that, shit, maybe some people might be worth the risk of heart break.

The Prince King by ziamhaze (69k) At twenty, Zayn finds himself a widower and single father of one. It takes everything in his power to raise the three month old alone while also keeping up with his budding career as an artist. Five years later and Zayn’s more dedicated than ever to do whatever it takes for the little boy to have a better life than the one he had at his age. When that includes hiring a professional carpenter to build him a treehouse, Zayn finds himself having to figure out how to win the man’s game of cat and mouse before the structure’s complete, or risk missing out on someone who makes him want to spend the rest of his life mixing oil paints together in order to find the exact shade of warmth that the contractor exudes.

These amber words on our fingertips by orphan_account (69k) Zayn's life in London is about one thing — making life perfect for his son. He's still finding himself in this city, with all of the noise and left behind dreams. He needs to focus and Liam is, well, distracting. He's different. Zayn's always liked that word.

These fading scars by lovely_ziam (69k) Vampire!AU in which Liam falls in love with a human.

But the sun comes up instead by blackwayfarers (71k) Zayn Malik, charming and confident fraternity vice-president, meets shy but achingly endearing high schooler Liam Payne at a kegger and everything just goes straight to hell.

The Only One Who Takes You Home by loveandbeloved (71k) The fluffiest stripper AU in which businessman!Zayn and stripper!Liam have a lot of feelings and they both get more than they expected.

Just let me know by SoftlyandSwiftly (72k - this one has two more parts so read them all!) Zayn wakes up in a hospital, eyes blurry and head pounding, only for a doctor to tell him he's lost two years of his life. And if that's not awful enough, something's different with Liam, off like something has changed, and Zayn doesn't understand. Until he does. And then it's somehow worse.

Money Moves by mmaree (74k) A Fake Engagement AU with Boss!Liam and Secretary!Zayn.

Give love a try, one more time by iwasnthere (75k) Zayn groans, "Liam, do you ever get tired of annoying me?""Nope" Liam replies, popping a chip into his mouth. "Because it's cute watching you lie to yourself""Excuse me?" Zayn looks at Liam bemusedly."You're lying to yourself when you say that ‘I annoy you’.” Liam does the quote unquote thing with his fingers, smiling. “Admit it, you like me.""You've been asking me out for the past year and a half,” Zayn states, “the answer you always get is no, and I'm pretending?" he asks incredulously."Yep." Liam grins, "I'll get that yes one day, Zayn." “Keep trying.” Zayn gets out, trying for snappy but it ends up sounding amused. Damn it.

Through the summertime, winter, spring, and fall by taecheeks (77k) They change with the seasons, burning bright during the summer and biting cold during the winter, but that feeling of being in love Zayn found in the summer clings to him through it all.

What We Become by scottmcniceass (78k) “Nervous?”“No.”“It’s okay if you are,” Harry says seriously. “I mean, I know I would be. Like, if there was ever a date that was destined to go bad, it’s probably this one. Werewolf goes on date with the son of a werewolf hunter, who’s also training to be a werewolf hunter when he’s older, while another pack of werewolves are practically massacring the town, and no one has no idea how to stop them. It's not a question of what could go wrong. It's a question of what could possibly go right, and I'm willing to bet the answer to that is nothing."

80k - 100k

Kick, Push by ziamhaze (85k) World champion street skateboarder Zayn Malik has been on top of the sport’s rankings since he turned pro at 15. So when the Olympic Committee announces that skateboarding will be included for the first time at the 2020 Games, he’s thrilled to take on the challenge while representing Great Britain. There’s just one thing standing in between him and adding another title to the record books: his crippling performance anxiety. But when Team GB Skateboarding’s awarded a physiotherapist with an affinity for experimental therapy methods and a crinkly eyed smile, Zayn thinks he might just have found his ticket to bringing home gold.

Pride by iwanttowriteyouafic (86k) The one where Zayn and Liam strike a deal to help each other through their dirtiest nights, but Zayn's perception of alphas may be preventing him from something purer.

Compartment 451 by ziamhaze (88k) Zayn’s a muggleborn wizard whose parents leave him to fend for himself once he’s made aware of his magical abilities. The Payne’s are an open minded wizarding family, who take him in and provide the boy with a loving home before he and their overly excited son Liam, go off to Hogwarts for the first time.

Tunnel Vision by scottmcniceass (90k) In which Zayn is an award-winning popstar with a knack for getting himself in trouble, and Liam is the bodyguard he didn’t want to hire who has a few problems with staying professional.

Z.A.Y.N. by ziamhaze (92k) For six years, international R&B star Liam Payne has topped the charts with his unique, upbeat songs. Even though he’s proud of where he’s gotten himself, he knows he can’t take all the credit; there’s one particular songwriter that goes by the name ‘Icarus Kalim’ that’s played a huge part in his success. Because of the writer’s ability to craft thought provoking tracks that touch Liam in a way he didn’t even know was possible from afar, the celebrity makes a musical exception for ‘Icarus’, buying the man’s songs for himself, even though he swore he would never put his name on something he had no help in creating. But what happens when Liam finally tricks the soulful poet into meeting him after years of not even knowing what the man looks like? Is ‘Icarus’ really all Liam’s made him out to be in his head or will he be unlike anything the singer could’ve ever dreamt up...

Colour my senses cherry red by thilia (96k) Zayn Malik, closeted gay pornstar.

+ 100k

Lost for Words by AGreatPerhaps12 (102k) The one where Liam has a stutter and zero self confidence, and Zayn has a carefully controlled temper (also starring Louis and Harry as that disgustingly-in-love couple and Niall as the only straight guy around, apparently).

Slow and High Tempo by taecheeks (103k) "I just want you, Liam," Zayn whispers, skating his lips across his. "Can I?"Liam's lips part more as Zayn's do, exhaling slightly as Zayn's words sink in. He doesn't understand what they mean, but he knows he meant it when he said Zayn could have anything he wants. His eyes flicker open to stare up at Zayn's dark ones, filled with a warmth that seems to consume Liam as he waits for him to respond. "Yeah, babe."

Deadpool by rorz94 (111k) Zayn Malik, a multi-millionaire good doer/artist, is targeted by a lunatic serial killer for no reason. Enter hot charismatic detective Liam Payne in the investigation of his case. Payne is assigned to protect Mr.Malik as a punishment from his supervisor but Liam does not think it's such a bad punishment to stay close to the attractive young man.

Permanent by scottmcniceass (114k) At twenty-six, Liam has made a name for himself as one of the best football players of his generation. He's in the prime of his game when a car accident threatens to end his career permanently. Depressed and hating the world, Liam heads back to his home town to take some time off and find himself again. He doesn't expect to find life pretty much the way he'd left it eight years ago, and he definitely doesn't expect to find something that might make him want to stay permanently, but that's what he gets.

Hello kisses sweet as wine by xxcaribbean (123k) Zayn doesn’t expect mr. payne to have all the answers, and he certainly hadn’t meant to leave an impression. So, this isn’t really a love story. Well, it shouldn’t be.

Intoxicate Me, Mesmerize Me, Obliterate Me by eternallyunleashed (280k) There was a certain heat obtained from rebellion that even the actual throes of heat never sparked. Keeping up an image of perfection; being the good kid, the perfect son to the Mayor and Chief of Police, the city of Lincoln’s sweetheart omega, it was all taxing to Zayn. Walking the thin line of danger was exhilarating. Was it coincidental that this danger happened to be an attraction to a certain alpha who was none other than the leader of the South Side Vipers gang, who seemed to despise him and the part of town he came from? Probably not. But when had anything ever stopped Zayn?

Can't Help Falling in Love with You by eternallyunleashed (518k) Zayn is an 18 year old just out of high school who is going to start pre-med in NYU in September. Liam is a 26 year old CEO of a major company and also an ex-football player. Their paths cross when Zayn lands an internship at Liam's company thanks to Harry and their lives are completely thrown off balance.

[onebadwinter]

The Joker Tropes Part 2

Taken From Here and here

Nether Realm Studios especially seems to love making Joker out to be evil incarnate. In Injustice: Gods Among Us and its sequel, he loses all his cred (and life) once he nukes Metropolis; Harley ditches him entirely, Batman just completely gives up on indulging him any more, even Guest Fighters like Hellboy consider him worthless, and non-Batvillains such as Grodd and Brainiac and even Darkseid loathe him for either Metropolis, or just in general principle. Mortal Kombat 11 shows that even the MK cast see him as a scourge upon the realms, and also express distaste toward him for either his nuking, a previous outing, or because he's seen as a buffoon who cannot be taken seriously (this is usually the case for other villain characters).

About the only person who can tolerate him for long is Lex Luthor, only because they both have the same level of hatred for their respective enemies. Even then, Luthor prefers to keep his distance from the Joker, if only because a bored Joker screws with everything For the Evulz.

In the animated series, he claims to have been beaten as a child when interviewed by Harley Quinn. It is unknown if this is true. According to Batman, he's simply making it up.

In one issue of New 52, he claims to have been driven insane by an abusive grandmother, who also bleached his skin to its present pallor.

In the same continuity, he is one to a baby gorilla he adopts, trains up as a gun-wielding henchman, and ultimately gets killed off for laughs.

In the comic book adaptation of Injustice, it's implied Harley fears Joker would be one, and gives their daughter to her sister, lest he kill the child. It's left ambiguous whether the Joker's even aware of the ruse.

Averted in one story, wherein one of Arkham's doctors realizes Joker's faking insanity just to piss off Batman as revenge for his disfigurement. Another doctor finds the report and excitedly reveals it to the current head doctor, only to learn that  the Joker left it for everyone to read, since the paper's written by Harley Quinn, and therefore worthless as evidence.

In Batman: The Man Who Laughs, it's established that the name "The Joker" was given to him by the media, and he liked it so much that he decided to call himself that.

The same happens in Joker (2019), where Murray tells the audience to "look at this joker" when talking about Arthur. Arthur took it to heart.

Batman: Arkham Knight takes this even further by revealing that being forgotten is the only thing the Joker truly fears.

Just to demonstrate how much disregard he has for his henchmen, a reoccurring motivation for offing his own lackeys is failing to laugh at one of his jokes. Or laughing too late. Or laughing for too long. Or laughing at the wrong joke. He's... unpredictable.

The Joker loves it when people laugh with him, whether genuine or not, but if someone laughs at him, they're most likely already dead.

Joker loves attention and being above the normals, so never imply that he's not interesting or unique. Terry exploits this flaw in Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker just to drive him to a Villainous Breakdown.

The Batman Who Laughs. Since the character's first appearance in Dark Nights: Metal, the mere mention of him is enough to put The Joker in an uncharacteristically un-jolly mood and is a good way to get on his bad side. In fact, the dislike of this twisted version of his archnemesis is so great, that when Lex Luthor and The Legion of Doom started cooperating with him against Joker's protests, he quit the legion (after non-lethally jokerizing every other member of it) in disgust.

If you're going to hurt Batman, do it right. One of the supplementary stories for Joker War had him beyond furious with Bane - to the point of promising him he'd kill him in a way he would never see coming - for showing so little imagination in killing Alfred in City of Bane without even letting Batman listen to it to torture him. By his reckoning, if you have a great gag to break the Bat, use it to break the Bat - don't blow it by having Robin be the only one to witness it.

Originally Conrad Veidt from The Man Who Laughs.

Later portrayals base themselves on his actors, with Cesar Romero a popular candidate, and after Jack Nicholson came in, artists such as Alex Ross base him on him, such as the actor's distinct widow's peak and slicked back hair.

During Knightfall he and Scarecrow killed several members of a SWAT team, and one of his last actions in Batman: No Man's Land was to kill Commissioner Gordon's second wife, Lt. Sarah Essen.

One of the alternate realities seen in Zero Hour! was one where he killed Commissioner Gordon instead of crippling Barbara.

Part of the reason Gordon takes over the post of Commissioner in both The Dark Knight Trilogy and Batman: Arkham Series is due to the Joker killing Gillian Loeb. Additionally, the first game in the latter series, Asylum, he sees several of Arkham's guards killed by him and his men.

He's holding a dead cop's corpse in his intro in Injustice: Gods Among Us and using it as a puppet. He also talks to the body of one of the Regime enforcers who captured him once he breaks out and heads to Gotham.

Whether he was driven insane or was already insane and became completely bonkers.

Where he is on the spectrum between "wacky prankster" and "utterly depraved and sadistic sociopath and murderer".

Whether he is a senseless, performative terrorist wreaking havoc for kicks or a deceptively cunning and competent criminal mastermind. Or both. Usually both.

He's no Batman, but sometimes he is a proficient hand-to-hand combatant, Knife Nut or marksman, and other times a flimsy wimp who goes down in one punch. In some of the grittier settings, his raw strength, numbness to pain and viciousness are enough to level the playing field with Batman.

Whether he actually loves Harley Quinn varies. In the animated series, (where Harley first appeared) the writers haveoutright said he's a sociopath incapable of loving anyone, and just sees her as a useful mook. Some other works imply he really does love her on some level (although he's usually still an abusive asshole.)

He can either be Faux Affably Evil, Laughably Evil, just a Monster Clown, or some combination of the three.

At least one such incident implied he would be interested in Batman... but only after he was dead. Again this may only have been a tactic to get under Batman's skin or truthful admission. The readers will never know for certain.

His plot in The Killing Joke is to put Jim Gordon through the wringer hard in the hopes of driving him mad. He'll also try to drive Batman over the edge (particularly, drive him to break his "no killing" rule), sometimes by cutting off all of Batsy's human connections.

The Dark Knight reworks it into Driving Gotham To Senseless Violence with wanton acts of destruction or terrorism, just to prove everyone's as bad as him deep down.

Ironically, a 1952 story has the Joker get himself falsely committed to an insane asylum, to question a patient who knew the location of a cache of money. The end of the story has him Laughing Mad due to a prank Batman used to disguise his identity.

He didn't have his signature laugh. This seems to have been a way to "goofy up" the character to make him less terrifying in the days of the Comics Code Authority. Later on, he'd learn to giggle while remaining terrifying.

He actually committed crimes for moneynote , and wasn't really interested in causing chaos or terror for a joke's sake.

Building off of that, his plans weren't really "insane" until the Silver Age (at which point it's not even fair to say this was exclusive to him), nor was there any question of the character's mental stability.

His obsession with Batman wasn't there, much less the idea that he would pass up chances to kill the Bat or learn his identity. This aspect was probably introduced to explain the Bond Villain Stupidity he (and every Batman villain) had become infamous for in the Silver Age.

His clown-like complexion was actually makeup in his early appearances. He even removed his makeup to disguise himself as a cop, which was referenced in The Dark Knight. It's later revealed that the look is permanent after falling in a vat of chemicals.

The Brave and the Bold #111 and #191 have him team up with Batman to clear his name after being framed for several murders. The first instance turned out to simply be a framing the guilty part occasion but the second instance was actually genuine on Joker's part (except the person Joker seemingly murdered turned out to be faking their death).

He also does this with Batman whenever The Batman Who Laughs is involved (specifically in the Dark Knights: Metal series).

He abruptly ends a partnership with Red Skull when his Nazi affiliation comes out. Red Skull simply wonders why he is so surprised when he thinks that the Joker would make a great Nazi. The Joker is NOT happy about this, proclaiming "I may be a criminal lunatic, but I'm an American criminal lunatic!" It even provides the trope's image. And yes, folks, even an equal-opportunity murderer like the Joker despises the Nazis!note

The exception is mentioned again in the Last Laugh arc where the Joker immediately refused to join the American Neo-Nazi Aryan Alliance group in the Slab after he was offered membership. Joker: I'm evil and all that, but you guys are just plain mean.

Will not harm dumb animals and doesn't condone it. There's no humor to be had in that. Higher primates apparently do not qualify but a lot more effort went into that one.

While in Arkham with villain Warren White, AKA the Great White Shark, Joker calls him the worst person he ever met. He states that while he may kill people, even he doesn't steal their kids' college funds.

Sees nothing funny about someone parking in a handicap spot when they're not handicapped. However, he does think it's hilarious to hurt them in ways that will make certain they'll always be able to park there.

A girl named Janey Bennett, whose class was studying criminal behavior, became pen pals with the Joker while he was in Arkham. When Janey revealed that her father, the mayor of Motor City, was abusing her (exactly how isn't specified, though it was implied to have been really bad) the Joker broke out and, convinced that the authorities would be of no help, tried to force the mayor into admitting to his crimes and giving him Janey (so that he could find a better home for her) by threatening to contaminate the city's blood supply, going through with it (because the ends justify the means) when the mayor refused to give in to his demands. He originally intended to give her to Batman as well so he could protect her but at the end decided to give her to her mom. Joker: I mean, stealing a city blind is something I can admire... but being mean to one's own daughter... that just makes my blood boil.

For a rather literal form of "standard", the Joker's team-up with Carnage in Spider-Man and Batman: Disordered Minds fell apart in part because the Joker, known for his love of theatrics, found Kasady's desire to get straight to killing boring. Conversely, Kasady didn't like the Joker's flair for theatrics.

The Joker absolutely loathes The Batman Who Laughs, to the point where he drops his usual joking demeanor and is deathly serious whenever directly referring to him, even willing to work together with Batman to face him when it comes down to it. When Lex Luthor goes behind his back to make a deal with The Batman Who Laughs (going against the only condition Joker has for joining his plan), Joker responds by Joker-gassing the Legion of Doom, putting Lex into a series of deathtraps, trashing Lex's Power Armor, and quitting the Legion. In the process, he tells Luthor how he had planned on ruining the Legion utterly on the verge of victory, and as nightmarish as his plan sounded, he claims it is nothing compared to what the Batman Who Laughs is going to do.

While he still gloated about it and found Commissioner Gordon kneecapping him funny after remember that he'd crippled Barbara, the actual act of killing Sarah Essen in the penultimate issue of Batman: No Man's Land is one of the few times the Joker wasn't happy with something he himself did, considering he's seen walking away while scowling afterward, leaves the babies he originally planned to murder unharmed and immediately turns himself in to the police.

Emperor Joker sees the Joker disgusted with a corrupted Jimmy O Lsen tormenting the Superfamily and Batman when they're turned int animals.

Later one he is disgusted when his minions vandalize the Moai on Eastern Island.

Again, when he rescues Lex from The Batman Who Laugh's infected minions in Hell Arisen, the mere mention of his alternate universe rival prompts him to have a very uncharacteristic Freak Out. The Joker: I told you. I told you not to deal with him. You should have shot that thing in the head the second you had it in a cage! It is wrong. It is a wrong thing.

Played more straight in his relationship with Punchline. Only time will tell if it lasts.

There’s also a comic storyline when Hush informed that a dirty cop Office Halmet killed his wife Jeannie. The Joker wanted nothing more than to kill said cop in revenge. Then there’s Batman: Three Jokers where, despite it being being heavily implied he was abusive, the “Comedian” Joker is seen setting up fake tea parties with dolls, clearly trying to substitute them for his wife and child showing that he does miss them and desire to be a family with them.

While The Dark Knight is one of the few times the Joker's clown-like appearance is the result of make-up, he does sport a Glasgow Grin.

While Joker still has the permanent clown look, it's combined with the Glasgow Grin.

While Batman: Endgame would see the skin of his face restored with a chemical called Dionesiumnote , at the start of The New 52, the Joker had the Dollmaker skin his face and then, after he recovered it, spent Death of the Family wearing it like a Leatherface-esque mask. And even in Endgame, his restored face ends up badly burned as the result of the finale battle between him and Batman, though it still ends up restored again.

Gotham sees neither Valeska escape this. After his death in season 2, Jerome (the proto-Joker) ends up resurrected in season 3, but because Dwight thinks his attempt to revive him failed, Dwight ends up cutting off Jerome's face ala Death of the Family and Jerome ends up stapling it on when he catches up with Dwight and while he later has it properly reattached, there's still scars from what happened. Jeremiah, Jerome's twin and the show's true Joker, ends up with the "perma-clown" appearance due to Jerome having the Scarecrow brew something up to spray in Jeremiah's face, but season 5 sees his fateful fall at Ace Chemicals badly scar his face and sear off most of his hair with only stringy patches left.

Averted entirely in Joker (2019), where his clown appearance is entirely makeup, and the worst it gets is painting his iconic smile on his face with his own blood from a car crash. Not even a Glasgow Grin or anything, the blood is from his hand and his face only has a few normal cuts on it.

While Batman is a rather serious character who refuses to kill anyone, The Joker is a rather comical character who revels in death.

Joker's gadgets tend to be rather goofier but much more lethal, such as the Joker Venom that he often uses to kill his victims.

While Batman gets along well with his sidekicks Robin and Batgirl, Joker frequently abuses his sidekick Harley Quinn and has tried to kill her before, not to mention all the times he has been a Bad Boss by killing his henchmen for any reason you can think of, sometimes for no reason at all.

While Batman's backstory is well known, even by the citizens of Gotham who know of the tragedy of the rich Waynes' in Crime Alley, no one knows anything about the Joker's backstory, but most versions he tells are consistent in two things: he was a nobody, and possibly someone poor.

In most adaptations, his voice is high-pitched in contrast to Batman's Badass Baritone.

Why he went by the name the Red Hood has changed over the years: The Killing Joke claims he was a failed comedian driven to crime to support his pregnant wife. The trauma of his disfigurement from jumping in the acid and his wife's earlier accidental death drove him insane. However, even this backstory is questionable, as the Joker himself calls it "multiple choice".

In Injustice 2, an intro with Atrocitus has the Red Lantern wondering what drove the Joker to nihilism.

In the animated series, he claims to have been abused as a child when interviewed by Harley, but according to Batman, it's just another ruse to escape Arkham.

The purple suit and matching pants with either an orange and/or green shirt with a bowtie or tie, remains the definitive Joker look one that many artists and costume designers have given spin on. He is sometimes known for wearing a cool hat but other times goes hatless. Heath Ledger's custom-designed purple long-coat, trousers, blue shirt and green Waistcoat of Style with a tie has likewise become iconic and famous for its contemporary and downright stylish update on the classic look.

The original Red Hood outfit which is a black suit, white shirt, bowtie with an opera cap and a bizarre red dome is also quite famous.

The Hawaiian tourist outfit he wore in the notorious scene in The Killing Joke.

The white suit he wears in Miller's The Dark Knight Returns as well as the white nurse maid outfit with red wig in The Dark Knight is also quite notable.

The Future Joker look from Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker which went with a mime look (black body suit, slicked-back hair) is also quite distinct and unique.

The first issue of Batman with Joker's debut has him described as having "burning, hate-filled eyes" and the moniker, "the harliquin of hate".

The Man Who Laughs had Bruce dosed with a light version of the Joker Venom and he felt his perspective shift into a paranoid vengeance were he felt everyone deserved to be punished for his parent's death just for existing.

Death of the Family had Batman describe how Joker's irises are always narrow when looking at anyone but Batman and that it is usually an indication of negative feelings toward something with Bruce mentioning that his eye are the eyes of someone who hates everything he sees.

In the Justice League storyline "Rock of Ages", Martian Manhunter has to put in incredible effort to reorganize Joker's mind long enough for him to give up the cataclysmic Philosopher's Stone. The briefly sane Joker immediately says My God, What Have I Done? verbatim as he hands it back, before quickly losing his mind and going back to the laughing madman.

The famous example from the end of The Killing Joke, where Batman tries to convince him to allow Batman to rehabilitate him before their vendetta kills them. Joker considers it for a long, somber moment before quietly reflecting that they're both too far gone.

Batman: Cacophony ends with Joker being pumped full of an inhuman amount of antipsychotic drugs to keep him under control while in recovery from a near-fatal stabbing. Batman takes the opportunity to have a relatively-sane conversation with him, though it's somewhat subverted by Joker still being a homicidal sociopath even while heavily sedated.

He even gives multiple reasons on how he came Back from the Dead in Injustice 2 and will go along with whatever his opponent thinks is true, despite being Dead All Along in story mode and only appearing as a hallucination to his ex-moll.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns sees him kill David Endochrine and Ruth Weisenheimer, who were clearly based on David Letterman and Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

During Knightfall, once he realizes that Azrael isn't Batman, his plan's gone to hell, and one too many criticisms from Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert stand-ins, he kills the stand-ins.

In one of the issues for the The Batman tie-in comic, The Batman Strikes, he terrorizes a stand-in for Conan O'Brien. This becomes darkly Hilarious in Hindsight as the real O'Brien voiced Endochrine in the animated version of Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. In the series proper, Harley's debut had the two of them terrorize a stand-in for Dr. Phil for the climax.

If you want to know how truly terrifying The Batman Who Laughs is, look no further than the way Joker acts whenever discussing him. He doesn't laugh, he doesn't smile. He becomes calm and serious and simply tells whomever he's talking to that the TBWL is "a wrong thing that shouldn't exist". Someone HAS to be scary if the very thought of him makes Joker act like a calm rational sane person.

In Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, the clown has a massive Villainous Breakdown when Terry mocks him for his failed attempts to break Batman.

On the rare occasion Joker gets bored and leaves Gotham, expect everyone to think of him as just a silly clown, until the bodies start piling up.

One issue of the Robin Series had him talking about having Abusive Parents, only for a psychiatrist to tell him it's the seventh story he's told now.

Batman lampshades on this to Harley in the animated series, thinking it's another lie to gain sympathy.

The Killing Joke claims he was a failed comedian driven to crime to support his pregnant wife. The trauma of his disfigurement and his wife's earlier accidental death drove him mad. However, even this could be a lie, as he himself calls it "multiple choice".

It's even discussed in Injustice 2, as Atrocitus wonders what drove the Joker to nihilism. Despite only appearing as a hallucination to Harley in story mode, he spews out multiple theories for his Unexplained Recovery and will say Sure, Let's Go with That in non-canon fights. Was he resurrected by someone, or is he from another universe? Did he escape from either the Source Wall or the Phantom Zone, or is he just an apparition?

Shadow of the Bat #38, Tears of a Clown: He celebrates his anniversary of the day he was a still sane, but hapless comedian, and was thrown out of an exclusive Stand-Up Comedy club for an unfunny act the patrons mercilessly heckled. It was the last straw as he agreed to provide to his family by pulling a job for the Red Hood gang. So he kidnaps all the patrons and reenacts his act with control collars that will kill them when they laugh. Oddly enough, the patrons are hardcore Stand-Up Comedy fans, so they can't remember the number of times they've booed someone. However, even this origin story could be a lie.

It's come to be his primary disfigurement over the original skin bleaching.

In Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, Terry McGinnis exploits this by delivering an epic Boring Insult so the clown will have a Villainous Breakdown.

King Barlowe proved to be a big one in his Thanatos Gambit in the episode "Joker's Millions" of The New Batman Adventures. In a spiteful Video Will, he gives the clown his millions, revealing in his tape that most of it was fake. Expecting the clown to splurge on it, he won't have enough to pay off the IRS, allowing Barlowe to get the "last laugh" after his death, without the Joker coming after him.

Alan Moore's "I go Loony" from The Killing Joke, an in-panel song-and-dance tune that was eventually made into an actual song belted out in Batman: The Killing Joke.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold has "Where's the Fun in That?" from the episode "Emperor Joker".

Batman: Arkham City ended with him covering The Platters' "Only You (and You Alone)", Batman: Arkham Origins had him cover Hank Williams' "Cold, Cold, Heart" and Batman: Arkham Knight had him provide an original composition, "Can't Stop Laughing".

Action Fashionista: This incarnation of the Joker has a wide variety of garish outfits for every occassion — most of them straight from the comics.

Adaptational Attractiveness: Metal teeth, lack of eyebrows, and tattoos aside, he's still being played by the youthful-looking real life Pretty Boy Jared Leto; especially since the last two cinematic Jokers were a creepy middle-aged gangster with a botched face-lift and a filthy, scarred vagrant (even the mentally unwell clown-for-hire doesn't scream Mr. Fanservice one bit). This version looks more like Marilyn Manson.

Adaptational Nice Guy: A very downplayed example. While he's otherwise the same Clown Prince of Crime we all know and love to hate, he appears to genuinely care for Harley, and even throws her out of a falling helicopter to save her life. Almost any other iteration of the Joker would do that to save his own skin or rid himself of her.

Adaptational Skimpiness: This version of the Joker tends to be shirtless a lot more than he has in any other medium. It mostly seems like an opportunity to show off his tattoos.

Adaptation Distillation: Leto's Joker seems to be less of the "evil philosopher" that Heath Ledger portrayed him as in The Dark Knight, and instead seems to be a cross between the garish, larger-than-life Mark Hamill version from the animated series and the Arkham games, and the creepy, deeply twisted Brian Azzarello version. David Ayer had also stated that he looked specifically to the Golden Age Joker for reference, providing reason for many to believe that Leto's Joker is a modern re-imagining of that incarnation.

Advertised Extra: Heavily featured in Suicide Squad promotional materials, barely appears in the film for more than seven minutes. According to Jared Leto, several of the scenes he shot were not included in the theatrical cut.

Ambiguous Disorder: In Suicide Squad, most of the time the Joker seems... not all there compared to Harley. In addition of psychopathic tendencies, the Joker has random bouts of maniacal laughter, confusion, and slurred speech-like patterns. All attributes that stem from punch-drunk syndrome. Considering he has faced Batman one too many times, it makes sense that the Joker's mental stability is finally catching up to him.

However, come Birds of Prey, they broke up, mirroring the comics where they do have an Relationship Revolving Door. It appears to stick, as Harley publicly calls it quits between the two of them.

His tattoos are very reminiscent of the Joker in All Star Batman and Robin.

Ax-Crazy: Like all the incarnations before him, calling him a violent psychopath is one of the biggest understatements you can make.

Bedlam House: Spent some time at Arkham Asylum, where he met Harley. Then he broke free from it with the help of both Harley and his gang.

Chewing the Scenery: An important part of the character is his theatricality.

Cool Car: A bright purple sports car with underglow lights and a "HAHAHA" license plate.

Dented Iron: It's subtle, but the numerous scars on his body and metal replacement teeth in his mouth are clear signs that his frequent run-ins with Batman are taking their toll.

Disney Death: He seemingly dies in the crash of his helicopter... only to come back to free Harley from her high security prison at the end of Suicide Squad.

The Dreaded: In true Joker fashion, everyone is terrified of him.

Establishing Character Moment: One that takes place before he even makes his official debut in the setting - he killed Robin (a minor) and vandalized his outfit to mock Batman over his inability to save him.

Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Insofar as much as the Joker can love anyone, anyway, but he does seem to genuinely care about Harley. Eventually, subverted.

Evil Has a Bad Sense of Humor: He considers the brutal murder of a minor as a joke he played on Batman. When he's torturing Harleen Quinzel, he promises not to shatter her well-kept teeth while flashing his own hideous metal dentures. When Harleen later has him at gunpoint, Joker just says "please don't kill me, I'll be ya friend" in a snarky tone.

Evil Is Hammy: It's not The Joker if he's not Chewing the Scenery. And, sure enough, he does.

Evil Is Petty: The graffiti on Robin's costume seems to imply that Joker murdered him just to prod at Batman. It is confirmed in Suicide Squad that Joker and Harley killed him.

Evil Laugh: It's kind of his thing. One notable example is when he chuckles while surrounded by an arsenal of weapons.

Fake Shemp: Indie rocker Johnny Goth stood in for Jared Leto in Birds of Prey, in the flashback where he and Harley torture and tattoo the big mafia thug Harley later bumps back into.

Foil: To Batman as usual, but with some new additions. After 20 years, Batman became more jaded and cruel, while the Joker somewhat mellowed out and his criminal activity became more professional. Batman didn't settle down until the death of Superman while the Joker grew attached to Harley Quinn.

In Suicide Squad Griggs' smug indifference about his gambling debt immediately becomes pure terror when he realizes the Joker has gotten involved.

He is so feared that even the likes of Black Mask would rather steer clear of him. Harley's enemies only start gunning for her in Birds of Prey when it's become clear that she's no longer with him.

   G-Y

The Ghost:

There is an allusion to him in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice ("HA HA HA Joke's On You, Batman" painted across the chest of the dead Robin's empty suit in the Batcave), but he doesn't actually appear.

He gets mentioned a lot in Birds of Prey, but he's only seen very briefly in some flashbacks, always from the back (including footage from Suicide Squad). There is a whole Deleted Scene where he and Harley have a domestic dispute. Harley leaves the house through the window and the Joker throws her stuffed beaver out through the window. In the film proper, she's just kicked out of the house, with no shot of Mr. J.

Greater-Scope Villain: His role in Batman v Superman. Despite not actually appearing his murder of Robin by this point has driven Batman down a darker, more vengeful path that goes against Batman's traditional moral code; the one that the Joker is always trying to prove is wrong. Batman's rage towards Superman blinds him to the possibility of Lex Luthor being the real threat long enough for Superman to die fighting Doomsday. In a way the Joker's actions contributed to Batman's failure.

Guttural Growler: This Joker is noticeably more snarly than previous incarnations.

Handshake Refusal: He doesn't like to shake hands, as Monster T finds out.

Hell-Bent for Leather: Wears a purple crocodile skin duster at some point in the film.

Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Despite being a homicidal sociopath, he seems to truly love his girlfriend Harley Quinn. Then in Birds Of Prey, he coldly and violently breaks up with her.

Joker Immunity: He appears to die when his helicopter is shot down about halfway through Suicide Squad. To absolutely no one's surprise, he shows up alive and well in the final scene. It helps that he's the Trope Namer.

Knife Nut: And by God, does he have enough blades.◊

Lean and Mean: This Joker, while muscular, is quite lean, especially compared to the heavily muscled Batman.

Love Epiphany: Well, "love" is pushing it, but Joker realizes his affections for Harley when she dives in the chemical bath that ultimately turned Joker into what he is. Symbolic in the sense she was agreeing to join him in madness. Further adding to the complexity of the scene; Joker was tying up a loose end, having used Harley to escape from Arkham. He lead her to her demise and intended to leave her for death but at the same moment realized she had entered his world and his madness. Joker never anticipated the amount of utter devotion Harley would have for him, something inside him just couldn't walk away from her, so he jumped in to save her.

Manipulative Bastard: He manipulated Harley into helping him escape Arkham because she fell in love with him. When she served her purpose, he would have had her kill herself jumping into a bath of chemicals to prove her feelings. He instead saves her from this demise because he has a Love Epiphany in the moment.

Monster Clown: Like the previous film versions, Joker is an Ax-Crazy criminal with clownish makeup. Green hair notwithsanding, his white makeup, red lipstick and absence of facial scars make him look closer to a mime than his predecessors.

Noble Demon: In Suicide Squad, his whole motivation is to rescue Harley Quinn. His commitment is so strong he doesn't even waste time with pranks or petty acts of cruelty. Everything he does is for someone else.

Only Known By His Nickname: He's only known as The Joker, or "J" / "Mr. J".

Outlaw Couple: He and Harley Quinn are lovers and partners in crime.

Sadist: Even though there was only a few select scenes of him, one of them is him torturing Harley. It's disturbingly obvious that he is positively gleeful over it. And he doesn't seem to have lost any sleep over murdering Robin, either.

Pet the Dog: David Ayer confirms that while he did push Harley out of the falling helicopter, his intent was in fact to save her life.

Satellite Love Interest: To Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad. His characterization revolves entirely around Harley, not even getting involved with the main plot.

Scary Teeth: Several of his teeth are made of metal. According to David Ayer, Batman punched his teeth out after he killed Robin, leading him to replace them with metal teeth.

Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Although he has a presence at the start of the film, The Joker appears to have left Gotham City to be controlled by Black Mask in Birds of Prey, with Roman saying that Joker has already skipped town.

The Sociopath: He's chaotic and remorseless, much like his previous versions. Special mention goes to his murder of Robin, which he topped off by spray-painting a cruel taunt for Batman onto the boy's costume.

Tattooed Crook: His torso is covered in jester-themed tattoos. He also has a few on his arms and face.

Villain of Another Story: He mainly appeared in Suicide Squad, but his biggest act of villainy to date — killing Robin — happened some years before Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, in which he doesn't appear. The spray-painted message on Robin's empty suit ("Ah ah ah joke's on you Batman!") in the latter film can't be anything else than his doing.

Where Does He Get All Those Wonderful Toys?: Is seen with a rather impressive arsenal of guns and knives. And even says to warden Griggs, at some point, "I can't wait to show you my toys." note Notably, he manages to hijack the gunship which was sent to extract Waller and the squad so he can rescue Harley.

Would Hit a Girl: In the past, the Joker electroshocks and manipulates Dr. Harleen Quinzel into allowing her to fall into a vat of chemicals, in order to become Harley Quinn.

Would Hurt a Child: He killed Batman's sidekick, Robin, while the boy was an underage minor.

You Gotta Have Blue Hair: His hair is bright green.

   "Knightmare" Joker

"You won't kill me. I'm your best friend..." Appearances:

Zack Snyder's Justice League

"You need me. You... need me... to help you undo this world you created, by letting her die."

The Joker meets up once more with Batman in the nightmarish alternate future where Darkseid has conquered the Earth and Superman turned evil. But things aren't the same anymore between the two legendary foes.

See also the Knightmare page for more on that setting's characters.

Break Them by Talking: He deliberately tries to agitate Batman by reminding him of how many people have died on his watch.

Cop Killer: He wears a bulletproof vest with at least two dozens police badges on it. Whether these were good cops killed prior to the apocalypse or servants of the oppressive regime of Superman after the apocalypse is not detailed.

Costume Evolution: He has ditched his garish gangster suits for what looks like either a medical gown or a butcher gown, complete with orange gloves and a bulletproof vest with a dozen police badges pinned on it. He got rid of his "Damaged" forehead tattoo, let his hair grow and put red makeup around his mouth, looking closer to more common depictions of the character.

Enemy Mine: He and Batman had the worst kind of enmity imaginable, but the Earth being conquered by Darkseid is enough of a Conflict Killer for them to call a truce and work together to try undoing this mess.

Evil Has a Bad Sense of Humor: He utters the line "We live in a society" while gazing upon the devastated landscape in the trailer. This is clearly a Meme Acknowledgement, and it's quite awkwardly used given the context (is there really any society left in this post-apocalyptic world?). It doesn't appear in the actual film, however. The line was improvised by Leto.

Evil Laugh: Even with the world being in such a sorry state and him still being sane enough to acknowledge how bad the situation is, he'll still let some laughs out, even though they sound more subdued than ever.

Evil Versus Oblivion: Even he sees the necessity of teaming up with Batman to try undoing what Darkseid did to Earth.

Future Badass: He survived the apocalypse brought upon Earth by Darkseid and looks like he's geared for guerilla actions.

My Card: He gives a Joker card to Batman as a symbol of their truce. Shall the Dark Knight want to break that truce, he'd just have to tear that card up. The card could be seen strapped on Batman's assault rifle in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.

Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!: Joker gets a high reminding Batman how costly his mistakes in the past have been.

The Nicknamer: He nicknames Mera "my little fish stick" and Robin "Boy Wonder".

Progressively Prettier: Despite being worse for wear, this Joker is arguably even better looking than his previous appearance, with his over-the-top tattooed gangster image toned down and his androgyny played up. Ironically, this version also more closely resembles the Heath Ledger incarnation.

Thousand-Yard Stare: He has such a stare when looking at the devastated horizon as he starts talking to Batman.

Villain Has a Point: While he’s the one who killed Robin, he gives Batman a minor What the Hell, Hero? for sending “a Boy Wonder to do a man’s job.”

Vocal Evolution: His voice is much softer and higher pitched than it was in Suicide Squad.

[karofskydeservedbetter]

Kurtofsky: What Could Have Been ...

Okay, I’ve long made peace with the fact that Dave Karofsky will never get the happy ending he deserves with Kurt Hummel. Glee has been over for years now but the Kurt and Dave fandom have managed to live on. Back when I became super into the Kurtofsky ship. I would comb Archive of Our Own and Fanfiction Dot Net for stories featuring these two. Back in those days, there was a lot of tension between the Klaine stans and the Kurtofsky stans. I was a part of the latter. I never bought Kurt and Blaine as anything beyond friends who just so happened to share a passion for music. In fact, when Blaine Anderson was introduced in Season 2, I figured he would become Kurt’s fairy godmother of sorts and help him better navigate the extreme bullying he was receiving from Dave. Instead, Kurt left McKinley and was whisked away to this fantasy all-boy’s private school which Burt Hummel would have never been able to avoid on his mechanic’s salary. I never liked the idea of Kurt going to Dalton Academy because I thought it sent the wrong message to LGBTQ+ kids who may be suffering from bullying and low self-esteem. The message seemed to be loud and clear with this one: If you’re being bullied at your school, just leave and go to another school where everyone will accept you. Thanks but no thanks Glee. 

Eventually Kurt does come back to McKinley but he inevitably develops feelings for Blaine and the two even attend prom together. Sigh. I get it. Kurt is a openly gay teenager in Lima, Ohio and finding another gay guy who was out of the closet must have felt next to impossible for him. With that said, that was my main issue with Kurt latching himself on to Blaine. In my most humblest of opinions, that pairing always felt like it was borne of desperation. Sort of reminds me of when straight people assume their gay friend will automatically be interested in dating their other gay friend. 

When Season 3 roles around, Blaine, for some reason I have never quite understood, leaves his private school behind and enrolls in McKinley High School which has to be on the Top 10 list of worst schools in the Mid West. With Blaine now a McKinley student, he can officially join New Directions and officially overshadow Kurt. It’s bad enough, Kurt is in constant competition with Rachel Berry but now he has to complete with his boyfriend who is considered to be more of a leading man than Kurt which is basically code for Blaine is more masculine than Kurt therefore he should play Tony in West Side Story opposite Rachel Berry, Kurt’s musical nemesis.

Then the night comes where Kurt and Blaine attend Scandals, a gay bar outside of Lima, Ohio. Kurt runs into Dave Karofsky who seems to gradually be coming to terms with his sexuality. This moment right here is where I assumed he and Kurt would build a friendship after years of being adversaries. It was clear to me and so many other viewers that not only Dave had changed his behavior, he was working towards coming out of the closet and having Kurt there to support him would have been an awesome story line. But that story line never came. Instead, after Blaine tries to force himself on Kurt in the parking lot, for some reason Kurt decides to lose his virginity to him. 

The next time we see Dave, he admits his feelings for Kurt but is subsequently outed by a teammate who sees him having dinner with Kurt. Again, I thought this would be yet another opportunity to build something between Dave and Kurt. They didn’t have to become boyfriends but after Dave’s suicide attempt, Kurt made a promise to be there for him. Well, the writers must have forgotten about that promise Kurt made because this is one of the last times we see Dave and Kurt together before Season 6.

Season 6 was probably the most frustrating seasons for Klainers and Pirates (Kurtofsky stans) alike because instead of pairing Dave with Kurt - which would make so much sense after all this time has passed - they pair Dave with Blaine, Kurt’s ex-boyfriend. What!? Seriously writers, what on earth were you thinking. There’s no way Dave would have ever gone for someone like Blaine. Blaine was too arrogant and showy for someone like Dave. Even if Dave and Kurt never got together - which they never did - Dave Karofsky does not strike me as the person who would settle for his crush’s ex-boyfriend. Super unbelievable. 

Eventually Dave and Blaine are broken up which thank God but that only happened so Kurt and Blaine could become remotely involved again. Remember, from the moment Kurt laid eyes on Blaine, fandom had decided that Kurt and Blaine would be endgame and one of Glee’s major pitfalls was letting the fandom dictate the fates of our beloved characters. In the real world, Kurt and Blaine would be friends who ultimately go on to marry other people. Because Kurt and Blaine’s dreams were too aligned, Kurt would have inevitably ended up putting his hopes and dreams on the back burner to support Blaine which doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship to me. Dave would have supported Kurt and would have gladly have taken a step back to let Kurt shine in the way he deserved. I believe in relationships where one person has a dominant personality or goal, they need someone who is willing to take a step back to be their partner. I’m not saying this is the case across the board but I think this formula would make for a healthier relationship.

By the time the series came to an end, there was zero indication that Kurt and Dave remained friends. We know for a fact they do not not end up becoming romantically involved. It can be assumed Dave and Kurt would go their separate ways and probably never speak to each other again which is super sad to me. Kurt and Dave could have been the ultimate ship on the show if the writers had given them the chance. As someone who loves television, one of my favorite kind of pairings is when two individual who seemingly have nothing in common manage to develop a healthy relationship in spite of having very little in common. How fun would it have been to see Dave and Kurt living in New York City together, David attending NYU while Kurt attended NYADA. Dave showing up with flowers on opening night of one of Kurt’s shows. Kurt and Dave agreeing to marry and adopt a child together. Dave being a stay-at-home dad while Kurt lives out his Broadway dreams. Each being supportive of each other no matter what. No shade, but I can’t imagine this sort of relationship between Kurt and Blaine. I don’t think Blaine is a bad person - I just think, like Rachel, his dreams require him to be the most important person in the relationship. In a Dave and Kurt pairing, each would be able to shine despite having dissimilar career goals. 

But unfortunately we will never know what could have been.

The good news, however, is that as long as fanfiction exists, Dave and Kurt always have a chance at a happy ending. 

[firstpuffin]

Smitten with the concept, not with the execution.

I want to start things off with a question: have you ever been invested in something, a television show, movie, video game or other, and not known why? Something like “this is boring, why do I continue with it?” I absolutely do and want to explore this with you.

  See, I have a whole shed-load of things that I “enjoy” despite the execution not being to my taste. The horror video game series “Five Nights at Freddie’s” is not at all my normal cup of tea, the final chapters of the pseudo-horror game “Bendy and the Ink Machine” were disappointing and sci-fi game “Nier: Automata” is not what I like in my gameplay; but I bloody love them.

  Same with the “The Flash” television show, the “RWBY” web-animation and even the “Star Wars” universe as a whole. I continue to persist with The Flash despite being pretty sure that my brother dreads my running commentary of its flaws every week; I may not keep up with it but I do eventually catch up with RWBY despite its execution being…lacking, and I feel that nothing in the Star Wars franchise quite lives up to what exists in my head, although it stands head, shoulder and even waist above the others in this paragraph. So why do I keep up with these stories that I apparently can’t talk badly enough about?

  Cause I do love them.

As the title says, I love the concepts behind these stories. Five Nights at Freddie’s (frequently shortened to FNAF because, let’s face it, the title is a pain) is a game where you do the same few things again and again, all to try and prevent being scared; the gameplay is far too tedious for me to play myself and honestly, I’m too much of a coward to actually do so. But the lore woven into the games has captured my heart: murdered childrens’ souls stuck in animatronic bodies that are protective of other children and incredibly violent to adults? It’s so sad, largely because it’s so terrifying and there is more added to the story with each game, cumulating in a sad tale that actually doesn’t quite compare to that in my head (although put that down to preference). It captured my heart, and more importantly my mind.

 Bendy and the Ink Machine starts with a man returning to the animation studio where he used to work, where he helped to bring to life the game’s equivalent of Mickey Mouse (the titular Bendy) only to find that Bendy may have literally been brought to life by ink and madness (and magic). The game is beautifully unique in its design, with backgrounds and items and everything seemingly having been hand-drawn. There are tapes to be found that tell the individual stories of animators, voice actors and even caretakers who were caught up in the chaos, tapes to be collected while avoiding the demonic and malformed beast that was supposed to be Bendy.

 I’ll be brief with Nier: Automata, but this beautiful game with beautiful music explores ideas of machines and emotions and life, at least within my own mind (I never finished watching someone else play the game so I can’t say for sure). The Flash had my heart from the beginning, all through the boring soap opera drama and plot contrivances, just because I love the concept behind the world that it was set in. RWBY is much the same, although it didn’t have me from the beginning; there are little details in RWBY that could become something amazing, but that are unfortunately overshadowed by poor dialogue, trite characters and unfulfilling season-long “stories”.

 And you all at least know vaguely about Star Wars, but it’s the idea of the prequel’s Jedi Order that has me enthralled. I love the idea of an order of warriors, so feared for their combat prowess that they don’t actually need to fight; warriors who could kill you with a telekinetic thought and yet refuse to on principle, yet have enemies who share this power but without the same scruples. And Lightsabers. Lightsabers are cool.

  There is so much to love about Star Wars that unfortunately a lot of the media never seems to embrace, instead erring on the side of convenience.

 As an aspiring author I find all of this fascinating. FNAF and Nier Automata are examples of fascinating stories locked behind gameplay that I’m not interested in, although in the case of the former I do believe that the head-cannon that I developed was actually better than the real story (both of which I have forgotten by now). Nier Automata’s story may be better than my own ideas but as I said, I never finished watching the story.

  Bendy, Flash, RWBY and Star Wars are cases of poor execution though. Spread over five chapters, Bendy started strong but lost what it was that made the early chapters good, going from tense atmosphere to just hit everything with a pipe. The Flash tv show is a victim to its medium: it’s meant to be something for people to watch as they relax in the afternoon with drama, relationships and just a hint of excitement; it was never meant to be a superhero show like the early seasons of Arrow and they are so focused on what I just mentioned that they didn’t put the same effort into being consistent or even all that compelling to someone like me. Not saying that I’m a higher quality viewer, just that I want different things.

  RWBY is a real disappointment to me though, with the most important flaw being the forced climaxes without any real story. I’m not interested in the action when the season doesn’t seem to have led up to it and the best thing I can say for it is that each finale at least feels like a mid-season finale. But I will give it this: season three started (started) to change this for the better.

  Finally, Star Wars (primarily the cartoons) is a problem because it ignores its own rules. Jedi are supposed to be reverent towards the Force, not using it trivially and never to injure; watch any Star Wars cartoon that follows the Jedi and you will see them regularly and callously attacking with the Force. Another weakness would be the lack of rules regulating the Force.

  Any good magic/superpower system has rules or else there is nothing it can’t do and it would seem that there is nothing the Force can’t do. So, if the Jedi apparently don’t follow their own rules on using the Force then what’s the point of lightsabers other than as a symbol? They could crush armies with a wave of the hand; weapons can be torn out of one’s grip and enemy Jedi thrown through walls.

  Imagine a completely independent group who are such capable warriors that they never need to fight. They stroll forward and armies give up. So much can be done with a concept like this and to a writer like myself I would love to have free reign with it.

 And that’s that. So what would I do with these series if I had the power? FNAF is a hard one for me to give suggestions for because as I said, I’ve forgotten, but Bendy and the Ink Machine is easier. As I said the later parts became an action game with fetch quests that nobody asked for, so get rid of the quests, reduce the enemies and retain the disconcerting atmosphere. I’m not asking for anything the creators haven’t proven themselves capable of. Nier is another one that’s hard to give suggestions for as, as I said, I don’t yet know the whole story; what I can say is that it’s the androids and the possible exploration of their humanity (and why they are designed to be so- and I can’t believe I’m using this word- “thicc”) that has me so fascinated.

  The Flash is a victim to its audience so rather than an improvement, I’ll mention what I’d like to see instead: a superhero show. This may seem like an odd thing to say about what is ostensibly a superhero show but it’s really more of a soap opera (which, btw, got it’s name from radio operas being sponsored by soap manufacturers); a real superhero show wouldn’t defeat the best one episode villain yet off camera while instead focusing on character relationships. I mean, way to give a side-character the chance to prove themselves, but at least let us see it. RWBY needs to either give up the idea of series long storylines and slowly build a larger story up, or to better plan each series so that it naturally leads to a climax.

  And finally, Star Wars needs to set and explain the limitations of the Force; doesn’t need to tell us everything, just what it can’t do or if there are means of defending against it. If a Force user can block another Force user, then we need to know that so we don’t just complain about Jedi battles not being who can put the other through a wall first. And finally, I’d love to see people treat the Jedi appropriately, with respect and fear.

 So that’s it. I love these stories for what I think they could be, but what they are honestly puts me off. It’s a shame, but as an (aspiring) author I’m hoping that I can somehow use these as inspiration for my own (and most importantly unique) stories.

 -Note= And no, inspired by does not mean ripped off; break any story down to its bare bones and it will look identical to (and stolen from) almost every other story.

[theartoflovingthomashunt]

HWU101: A Transfer

Masterlists: [Hollywood U] || [Red Carpet Diaries]  || [Baby Hunt]  || [Love & Scotch HWU/OH]  ||  [#HollywoodHacks HWU/LH]

Characters: Alex, Thomas Hunt, Addison Sinclair, Holly Chang, Mike Tanner, Ben Park (#LoveHacks)

Series Background: This takes place in my current Hollywood U AU a couple of years before Love & Scotch. It also is set before the #LoveHacks Choices series. 

Hunt and Alex are dating openly. He had his tenure stripped and they are both on probation, but they are in the clear. With the success of Permanent Wound and the press from outing Richard Sheridan and The Silver Circle, Alex is in high demand. She wants to produce her first movie and Hunt has agreed to direct (coming out of retirement). Now if only they can agree on it!

(This starts off with the canon storyline of them moving forward with Centaurus Lost, but it falls apart at the start of this and moves on with an original story.)

Chapter Synopsis: Hunt agreed to come out of retirement to direct Alex’s first solo-produced film, Centaurus Lost, but the production is going anything but smoothly. Will things change with the arrival of new student, Ben Park?

☆  ☆   ☆   ☆   ☆

 “Cut!” Hunt shouted. His fingers dug through his hair as he turned away trying to gather his thoughts. “Get out! All of you! OUT!”

 “Professor?” Addison questioned, looking up from one of the actors, whose costume she was adjusting. “We still have two more scenes to shoot today.”

“Leave! That includes you, Miss Sinclair. I know how you feel about following directions, but just this once do as you’re told,” Hunt grumbled. “Everyone out! This isn’t working. I need to think.”

“Let’s wrap for today,” Alex stepped forward attempting to calm the cast and crew of Centaurus Lost. “Get some rest and be back tomorrow ready to pick up where we left off.” 

“It’s okay,” Alex continued, noting the looks of uncertainty on the faces of those around her. “Go! Enjoy the beautiful afternoon.”

Alex helped the crew clean up and put the equipment away for the day, her gaze shifting to Hunt. He continued pacing off to the side, deep in thought.

 “Hey.” Alex ran her fingers up Hunt’s back, once everyone else had left. “Tell me what’s going on.”

 Hunt shifted away, Alex’s hand falling beside her.

 “This film isn’t working.” Hunt’s scratched his jaw thoughtfully. “Miss Chang and Mr. Tanner did not stop bickering about the script all day. Every time we went to shoot a scene, one or both of them, decided there should be changes. They both have some ideas of merit, but right now, they’re hurting this film far more than helping it.”

 “Thomas,” Alex breathed. She attempted to move closer, but he avoided her once more.

“I walked away from directing once because studios fed me uninspired projects. I refuse to compromise my artistry or ethics,” Hunt ranted, his gaze stern and unrelenting. “As I said, the project has to be right for me and this one isn’t working.”

“Let’s just talk about this,” Alex suggested.

“I know how much you wanted this to work… You’re the producer, find some way to fix this!” Hunt paused for a moment before continuing. “Or... I’m leaving this production.”

Alex felt her eyes misting at his tone. “Fine!”

“Alex,” his voice was softer now at the hurt in her eyes. He moved closer.

She shook him away. “Compartmentalize. I know.”

He nodded. “Go fix this. Convince me why I should take a chance on this film when so many facets of it are falling apart already.”

Alex turned and walked away. She didn’t dare look back. The past few days had been a strain between them. Even if they had agreed not to bring work home, it was hard to turn her feelings on and off. It was one thing when she was just balancing Professor Hunt, with boyfriend Hunt, now she also had business partner and director Hunt to keep separate.

 She knew before she could fix the film, she had to save the screenplay. 

Alex texted Holly and Mike. “Campus Brew. 30 minutes. This is not an option. Be there or you’re out.”

“Nice try, sweetheart. You can’t make my movie without me,” Mike replied.

“Whose movie?” Holly answered. “I believe I’m the lead writer. My name is first on the script.”

“Relax, Pixie Dream Girl. No use getting mad and looking all hot when I’m not there to see,” Mike argued.

“ENOUGH! Act like professionals. Show up for this meeting. Or breach your contracts and be out. I’m serious.”

No wonder this film was sinking. These two were never going to play nice, which is why she had chosen a public venue for their meeting, at least that would force them to keep it together to some extent. (She hoped.)

Alex stormed into the coffee shop, barely looking up from her phone as she followed the heated text exchange from her screenwriters. At this point, nothing short of an epiphany would save the film and she knew it. Hunt was right. 

“Ahh!” A deep voice startled her as she bumped into someone, scattering their books and papers all over. 

“I’m so sorry! I wasn’t even looking.” Alex quickly apologized. “This is all my fault.”

“It’s okay, Jesse Quick,” He chuckled more to himself than anything else. He adjusted his glasses.

“I’m not sure who Jesse is?” She looked at him curiously. “I’m Alex!”

“She’s just..." He paused, noting how Alex’s red shirt hugged her petite figure and the way her brown hair appeared windblown from seemingly rushing off, perhaps to save Central City. His mind had already begun sketching her before he could stop it. Everywhere he looked he saw inspiration. He quickly shook the thoughts from his head as he noted the change in her expression. "You just kind of remind me of a character from one of my favorite shows.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” She smiled softly. 

“You should! She’s great.” He bent down to pick up his fallen papers. 

“These are amazing,” Alex marveled as she helped collect his scattered sketches. “You’re very talented… I don’t think I ever got your name.” 

“I’m Ben, Ben Park,” he repositioned his books and sketches in his arm so he could shake her hand. 

“Nice to meet you, Ben. I don’t think I’ve seen you around campus before,” she noted. She would definitely remember a face like that. 

“It’s actually my first day,” Ben admitted. “I just transferred from Grantmore University.” 

“In that case, can I buy you something to drink? It’s the least I can do for running into you,” Alex suggested. 

“You don’t have to do that,” he replied. 

“I want to,” Alex insisted. “I can offer you some tips about classes and any professors you may have–if you’re interested and have a few minutes.”

“I don’t want to intrude, you look like you have a lot going on,” he smiled shyly. 

“I’ve got a few minutes before my meeting. You’d actually be doing me a favor, keep me busy until then?” 

“Okay,” he agreed. 

“Great! So tell me more about yourself, Ben. What are you studying? Please tell me you’re here as a graphic artist, because if not you need to change majors ASAPs,” Alex laughed, she didn’t mean to come off so insistent, but she meant what she said. She ordered coffee for the two of them. 

“I am.” Ben blushed at the compliment. “I’m also looking into the writing program.”

“Oh, do you want to be a screenwriter?” Alex questioned. “I’m actually meeting with two screenwriters in a bit if you want to meet them.” 

Alex hesitated after she made the suggestion. Perhaps Holly and Mike were not the best exemplars of the program… at least, not at the moment. 

“I’m more interested in writing a graphic novel.” His fingers grazed a sketchbook, that he held tightly. “I’ve written drafts of a few ideas, but…”

“Do you mind if I take a look?” Alex asked cautiously. She knew how temperamental some writers could be about their unfinished work. 

“They’re probably not good,” he shook his head, considering her request. 

“You got to start somewhere, right?” Alex offered.

Ben reluctantly handed her his sketchbook containing his draft of an outer space superhero adventure. 

Alex leaned back in the armchair in the coffee shop and began flipping through his draft. Page after page, her expression changed as the story hit highs and lows. She followed the characters through joyful, devastating, and humorous moments. “This is really good, Ben.”

“You don’t have to say that,” he took his sketchbook back. 

“I mean it. It’s really good! You should definitely look into the writing program. Clearly you have a talent for it too!” She encouraged him. 

Alex and Ben continued drinking their coffees while Alex waited for Holly and Mike to arrive. Her mind had lightened with seeing the joy in his eyes as they talked about his creations, it was a lovely sight. One she had almost forgotten about while on the set of Centaurus Lost. No, it wasn’t just joy, it was passion. Passion for his creations, that’s what was missing on set. She just needed to figure out how to inspire Holly and Mike to that level of creative passion. If the screenplay had heart, the rest of everything would fall into place.

☆  ☆   ☆   ☆   ☆

Perma tags: @lilyofchoices ; @simplymissjulia ; @mfackenthal ; @the-soot-sprite ; @virtuallytakenby ; @zeniamiii ; @kaavyaethanramsey; @choicesobsessed; @xjustin-ethansgirliex

Thomas Tags: @alleksa16  ;    @flyawayboo    ;  @alj4890  ;  @twin-skltns   ;    @ab1901 ;   @riseandshinelittleblossom  ; @hopelessromantic1352  ;   @thearianam  ; @trappedinfandoms; @zodiacsign1 ; @curiouslittlefreak ; @sharrybh20​ ; @awkwardambition ; @jodibo ;

[wellknownwolf]

I want to move into a new phase in my relationship with fandom, as I mature with new experiences. I'm not sure what exactly that looks like though. What is your take on the parasocial affection inherent in an RPF like Rhett & Link? Or even the deep attachments that can form with fictional characters? Or a desire to emulate fantasy worlds? I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable with all this, it's just that it's been a long time coming, and once I got started I couldn't stop. - Natasha (5)

First, let me post the full question, since it came in 5 parts:

Hey, it's me again. Your 'mystery inquirer', as you so adorably dubbed me. You're right, I had forgotten I'd sent in that ask. Just now, I couldn't help but think about a scene from Life After, as I am wont to on a frightfully regular basis, which is what got me back here. When you said you pondered over my seemingly simple, banal question for a good while, and wrote out a beautifully thoughtful answer like you always do, it made me happy.

Your narrative voice is similar to my own, and it made my chest ache in a certain way to have gotten such a response to what felt like a random shout out into the abyss (though it obviously wasn't, I sent it directly to you, I guess it's more what it felt like taking a chance on a conversation with a random stranger online). And now I'm cringing a bit at how melodramatic all sounds. But I'm committing to it, anyway. That's the beauty of anon, eh?

Wolfie (is it presumptuous to call you that? Please do forgive me the liberty I'm taking), I must admit. I'm quite envious of this community you have with @missingparentheses, @lunar-winterlude, and other wonderful people. Since childhood, I've been head over heels in love with fandom. Not a specific fandom, I've been a traveller through dozens, but fandom in general. I've read probably thousands of fanfics, spent countless hours daydreaming about beloved characters and their stories.

To the point where, in my most recent and worst depressive episode, it may have been for the worse, if I'm honest. Escapism and yearning to the point of impairment, engendering a sense of constant bereavement. But it's taught me so much about life and its wonders, I can't write it off as just some damaging habit. It's such an integral part of who I am, a deeply curious soul (shout out to my Enneagram Type 5-ers out there!). But I don't anyone to share it with, and it can get quite lonely.

I want to move into a new phase in my relationship with fandom, as I mature with new experiences. I'm not sure what exactly that looks like though. What is your take on the parasocial affection inherent in an RPF like Rhett & Link? Or even the deep attachments that can form with fictional characters? Or a desire to emulate fantasy worlds? I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable with all this, it's just that it's been a long time coming, and once I got started I couldn't stop. - Natasha

.....................................................................

Thank you for giving me so much to respond to, Natasha.  Thank you for continuing to reach out.   I accidentally wrote something like a paper in response to your thoughtful question.  I even conducted a little research and cited a source.  ENGLISH TEACHER, ACTIVATE!

Also, for what it’s worth, I feel at times that I communicate exclusively through shouts into the abyss, so it’s a language with which I am at home.  In fact, it is this very technique, this experiment with intense vulnerability at the hands of a virtual stranger, that earned me one of my absolutely most-treasured friends: @missingparentheses.  I have poured out a great deal of my own melodrama to her, and she has received it and reciprocated it in a way that, three years later, continues to teach me how to be a better friend.  In short, I’m a firm believer in diving straight in when it comes to new friends.  Cringe not; I’m on board.

So let’s dive.

R&L is really only the second “fandom” with which I’ve been involved.  Third, if we count my preteen obsession with ‘N Sync (and considering how much wall space I dedicated to their posters and self-printed photos, we probably should).  My point is, while I don’t have much experience with the community facet of fandom, I do relate to your feeling of near-obsession.  Or clear obsession.  

I know the feeling of escapism you’re describing, and I know the yearning and melancholy that can come on our worst days, where we feel like “real life” will never measure up to the color and brilliance of the worlds we spend so much time considering. These worlds, these characters and their relationships, their challenges, victories, and defeats all seem so purposeful: they’re the plot points we use to craft the stories in our heads (regardless of whether we’re writers at all).  It can be much harder to view ourselves as protagonists worth analyzing, viewing and reviewing through new lenses, perhaps because we’re warned against navel-gazing, perhaps because our self-perception just won’t allow for it.  Maybe a little of both.

But yes!  It teaches us!  We DO learn about life, other people, love, risk, all kinds of things through what we consume in these fandoms, so I would never classify it as a “bad” thing.  We hone our imaginations and learn to pay attention to our own emotions as we recognize feelings from our favorite shows, games, books, and characters arising in ourselves.  

I used to be a little afraid of the fact that I was always telling myself stories, internally imagining myself as someone else, a player in the worlds I often loved more than my own.  I suspected that someday, somehow, I would be caught playing pretend all the time in my own little ways.  I was a bright and ambitious young woman, so why would I give so much of my mental energy to such frivolous pursuits?

In my first semester of graduate school, though, I learned from a Lit. Theory professor who intimidated the hell out of me that we all do this.  We’re all telling ourselves stories all the time, some of which are true and close to objective reality, some of which are more subjective to whatever fantastical (or fandom) material we last consumed.  I’ve whispered my own dialogue in the shower, but so have you whispered yours in your head (if not also out loud in your shower!).  And through this act, however it is performed, I have made those worlds part of my own.  So have you.  In this way, they are real, and I no longer feel fearful of being “found out.”  

When we have those moments of doubt, though, when we wonder whether we’re going too far, it probably stems, at least partially, from the “us v. them” divide between fandom and mainstream society.  We love our little worlds, but we also feel that twinge of anxiety that we might be bordering on obsession, that our guilty pleasure might be discovered and we will be socially punished for it, namely, as Joli Jensen writes in “Fandom as Pathology: The Consequences of Characterization,” because “the fan is characterized as (at least potentially) an obsessed loner, suffering from a disease of isolation, or a frenzied crowd member, suffering from a disease of contagion. In either case, the fan is seen as being irrational, out of control, and prey to a number of external forces” (13). According the consistent covert (and overt, at times) messages of the mainstream, “[f]andom is conceived of as a chronic attempt to compensate for a perceived personal lack of autonomy, absence of community, incomplete identity, lack of power and lack of recognition” (Jensen 17).  Yikes.  That doesn’t feel good to admit about ourselves, does it?  

Luckily, it’s bullshit.

Treating “fans” as others (outsiders, people who can’t form relationships or find fulfillment in the “real world”) “risks denigrating them in ways that are insulting and absurd” (Jensen 25).  Those who take this stance, who see fans as victims of hysteria or desperate loners, do so in order to “develop and defend a self-serving moral landscape.  That terrain cultivates in us a dishonorable moral stance of superiority, because it makes other into examples of extrinsic forces, while implying that we [members solely of the mainstream] somehow remain pure, autonomous, ad unafflicted” (Jensen 25).  In short, that us/them thinking just makes people feel better about themselves by pointing out an easily-identifiable “other.”

 I have also grappled with the concept of parasocial affection, particularly with R&L.  I was well into writing my first Rhink fic when the thought crossed my mind, “Oh my god, what if I actually met these people someday?  How would I look them in the eye?  I’d feel like a crazy person (again)!”  From the safety of the Midwest, I laughed off the thought.  And then a year or so later, they were announcing their first tour. And I was still writing, here and there, still deep in my affection for them, sometimes wrestling with the thought that I’ve devoted so much energy to people who would never know I exist.  

It doesn’t matter that the attachment was in the most obvious, tangible ways only one-sided.  As an adult who is ever-learning how to navigate the worlds of her own creation and the ones over which she has far less control, I view my intense attachment to characters both real and fictional with deep fondness.   And while I may not receive affection or attention directly from the sources (R&L, fictional characters, sports teams, who/whatever we build fandoms around), I am still earning some very real rewards for my involvement: Because of them, I found my way to a participatory culture in which I was supported and encouraged to express my creativity.  This gave me the push and interest that I needed to hone skills that have not only made me a better writer, but also a better teacher and mentor.  With fandom comes the ability to immediately strike up a conversation over shared interests. With fandom comes a sense of belonging in what we have proven is an awfully divisive world.  

Right now, I’m consuming far less fandom-related material than I did a few years ago.  I don’t really watch GMM anymore and I’m on a break from Ear Biscuits (though I still love it), Gotham ended over a year ago and I’m not in the habit of reading fics right now, and I can’t yet play the remade Final Fantasy 7, so that’s out for me, too (though I know I will fall deep into that well once the game is in my hot little hands).  This all happened by itself.  I never consciously moved away from these sources; I just floated on to other interests and other levels of interest, knowing that if and when I wanted to dig back in, I could always come back.  

I used to feel quite sad at the thought of someday “moving on” from these intense interests.  I couldn’t fathom somehow falling out of love with those bands, actors, or video games.  But for me, the transition into wherever I am now has not been painful in the least.  I’m glad I knew the intensity that I did, and I’m happy with the distance I have now. And there’s a good chance I’ll be fanatic about something else someday.  I’m looking forward to it!

 Here are some responses that I couldn’t organically fit into my essay:

Yes, you can call me Wolfie if you’d like.  That name started with @missingparentheses (her second appearance in this answer!), and quickly became a reminder to not take myself too seriously.  

Second, I don’t think I know any other Type 5s!  I’m a type 8. 

Also, here’s my MLA formatted citation for the Jensen source:

Jensen, Joli. “Fandom as Pathology: The Consequences of Characterization.”   The Adoring Audience: Fan Culture and Popular Media, Routledge, 1992, pp. 9-29.

[koalaguru]

Character Analysis: Part 1: Sly Cooper

I’ve had a Sly Cooper-themed Tumblr account for awhile now and I have yet to post anything of note. After years spent lurking and reading the wonderful text posts many fans have made analyzing the shit out of this wonderful series, I felt like it was finally time to throw my hat in the ring of this small but large in passion fanbase because I love analysis as well. So I figured, what better way to get started than by doing a kinda series thing where I post lengthy thought posts on the different characters of the series whenever I get the chance? This won’t be something simple like stopping after doing the main three plus Carmelita...no, I’ll be talking about every major boss and character in the series, so buckle in.

The main goal here is to simultaneously share my love of this series and write analysis pieces while also highlighting what I think of each character and where the games went right (or wrong, in...some cases...) with portraying them. Where better to start than with the main character himself: The Guru Sly Cooper!

Sly Cooper is a very complicated character to get right. I don’t mean just him, I mean the idea behind a character like him. He shows so much arrogance and a flippant disregard for safety precautions in so many scenarios that if these weren’t balanced by the excellent writing of his other personality traits he’d be downright unlikable. Luckily, he’s in the hands of Sucker Punch. But that’s also why, when taken out of Sucker Punch’s hands...things tend to get a bit messy.

Sly Cooper, Nick Wilde, Nathan Drake, the list goes on. They are all similar characters. Cunning, romantic, a bit dangerous, and easily interpreted as uncaring in some instances. That is why it is important to establish a solid background to make it clear why they are the way that they are, and it is equally important to show where their limits lie. Nick Wilde for example could have easily been an annoying character. Judy Hopps is positioned as the main character of Zootopia, and so when audiences see this smug con artist making her job harder, they sympathize with her and demonize him. But the irresistible charm to his personality and the later revelations about his past lead to a satisfying arc that makes him a fan favorite. He is such a smug and cunning asshole because society never gave him the chance to be anything more, and so when Judy gives him that chance, we see who he truly is.

But enough about Zootopia...I’m talking about Sly Cooper. And if I’m being honest, I think the character of Sly Cooper should be the prime example anyone who tries to write this kind of character looks to in the future, because Sucker Punch knocked it out of the damn park.

Starting in Sly 1, we are once again faced with the potential problems of this character archetype. Sly is hard to figure out. We get a solid sense of the rest of the main cast. Bentley is the geeky and cowardly man in the chair, Murray is the clumsy oaf who often makes things more difficult, and Carmelita is the rigid woman of the law: clearly not the main threat, but a definite complicating factor that players will need to work around. Sly, meanwhile isn’t really given any exaggerated traits. In fact, he’s full of many traits that would seem to be at odds with each other. He compliments his friends and thanks them one second but then insults them the next. He flirts with Carmelita, but it’s unclear if this is just for distraction or if there is actually something there. He displays a clear cockiness with his athletic moves, but his inner monologues display a vulnerability that he doesn’t let show to the public.

Sly Cooper is a character built on contradictions, and many if not all of his arcs throughout the series center on him resolving those. In Sly 1, he ends up making his inner thoughts on his friends and himself match what he outwardly displays. He states that both of his friends stepped up to the challenge and really helped him out, matching the respect we often hear him internally communicate. His journey of earning back the Thievius Racoonus piece by piece finally let’s his inner monologue become more proud of his own abilities like his outward cockiness often shows. We get some confirmation that he does truly care for Carmelita, but never lets it go too far out of the knowledge of their opposing fields of work. 

In Sly 2, the storytelling took a leap forward and so did the characters. Something that I have noticed about Sly 2 is that many of the arcs are somewhat retreads of arcs we saw in Sly 1, but not really. See, we still have Sly getting humbled, Sly realizing his friends’ value, Sly reaffirming his status with Carmelita, etc. However, Sucker Punch managed to repeat these similar beats with entirely new circumstances to both strengthen the communication of the ideas and make it feel like a continuation rather than a repeat.

We start with Sly once again showing a bit of displeasure with his friends. He chastises Bentley for letting his nervousness get the better of him and refuses to use the code names Bentley has provided for him. He tells Murray he’s used to going it alone when the hippo can’t follow him further into Dimitri’s nightclub. However, the first important thing to note is that Sly’s development from the previous game is not forgotten. He congratulates his friends when the do well, he no longer refers to Murray as a burden, he’s generally a lot more of a team player. The second important thing about this is that the writers gave the team a new point of tension: Bentley and Murray are now out in the field with Sly. In the first game, Sly argued with Bentley because he clashed with his sense of careful planning and lack of danger when being briefed on jobs. Here, he is clashing with Bentley because he is now relying on the turtle in the field to get the job done, and he wants to keep his friend safe. If Bentley freezes up, the job is busted. Same with Murray. Where previously Sly was frustrated because he was having to make up with Murray’s mistakes as a clumsy and naive guy, now he is simply adjusting to a loud and boisterous partner for his more subdued and silent nature.

We also have the deeper storyline being developed with Carmelita. We get more instances where Sly openly admits to loving Carmelita, possibly prompted by his developing romance with Neyla. I said when talking about Sly 1 that by the end we saw that he did care about Carmelita but knew it couldn’t work due to their differing positions. But with Neyla he finally sees someone who is a viable option for him. She is a cop, but she is also less black and white than Carmelita can be, giving him hope that things can work out. And so that is why, as many have said before, the fourth and fifth chapters are such a turning point for Sly’s character in this game.

We see Neyla, the woman who gave Sly hope that he could eventually have real love, reveal that everything Sly thought she was was an elaborate lie to lock him away. We see Sly have to rely on Bentley to break out of jail, fully recognizing his contributions to the group and accepting his differing way of going about things, using Bentley’s code name at last. We see him have to break Murray out of a jail that is force feeding him drugs, making him fully realize the concern and care he has for his friend, and later the respect for his strength when he has to tangle with Murray who is in a blind rage. And we see Sly save Carmelita and help her escape for the cops, once again giving him some hope for a possible relationship.

Now one would think that resolving all of Sly’s ongoing arcs this early in the game is a mistake. After all, that just leaves an unchanging character until the end, and that will make Sly boring. But don’t you worry. It’s Sucker Punch we’re talking about. And so it quickly becomes clear that the resolving of these particular arcs has only led to more questions to come up in Sly’s mind. He has a whole new set of contradictions to consider, and these ones are much deeper set into who he is to himself and those around him.

He loves Carmelita and wants her to be happy. But he seemingly can’t have both. To start a relationship with Carmelita, she’d have to remain on the wrong side of the law, which would make her unhappy. But to make her happy and get her job back, they would not be able to be together. What should he do? He truly cares for and respects his friends, but he keeps placing them in danger. All of the hardship they have encountered so far is due to his family history and only applies personally to him. His friends may end up being better off without him. What should he do?

The ending stretch of Sly 2 aims to answer these questions, but not fully. It does end up with a solution for the time being, but it doesn’t seem to be the best one. Murray and Bentley do end up going off on their own, leaving their gear behind. But it is only because Bentley was paralyzed and needs medical attention and Murray is mentally devastated. Sly ends up making a choice about Carmelita and getting her job back, but then he escapes from her and the chase starts all over again. He’s back to square one. (Carmelita isn’t, but that’s for another day).

Sly 3 is an extremely personal journey. This game’s story is often viewed as lesser than Sly 2′s story due to its seemingly lowered stakes and less connected progression. In Sly 2, you were travelling the world to take down the members of a gang one by one and gather the parts of Clockwerk. All of this was to stop one giant, interconnected plan that would result in the entirety of Paris being driven into a hypnotic rage and Clockwerk being revived. Sly 3, by comparison, does seem like less of a big deal at first. Sly needs to get into his family’s vault, and to do so he needs to gather a team. This means he is traveling the world to get new members and stopping one-off villains while he’s at each location. If he fails, all that will happen is that he won’t get to see the inside of the vault.

But Sly 3 is intentionally more downplayed, because this conflict isn’t any bigger than Sly and his legacy. Everything he goes through is internal, and his own continuing story is the thread tying the adventure together. Sly has been through a lot. He seemingly finally managed to solve all of his internal struggles only to have them replaced by worse ones. And now it all seems worse than ever before. Bentley is paralyzed, Murray has left for a life of meditation, and Carmelita has hired a group of mercenaries, more determined than ever before to take Sly down. The dangers that come with living life on the wrong side of the law are more prevalent in his mind than ever before, and he feels like everyone he loves is paying the price for it.

Simultaneously, Sly is starting to feel like his time is up. He did it. He learned from the Thievius Racoonus. He pulled off great heists. He defeated Clockwerk twice. He’s done more than his ancestors ever could. And as the number of people in his gang grows the less he is needed in the field. He still takes on the majority of jobs, mind you, but there are more frequent instances where he can’t do something alone. Only Bentley and his tech can break into Tsao’s computer. Only Panda King’s fireworks can take out the hopping vampires. Etc. All of the signs are pointing to the idea of Sly finally retiring, but he doesn’t have any life set up to retire to.

All of these fears and hopes and desires culminate in the final assault on Kaine Island, where Sly learns the truth about his father. Dr. M, the villain of this game, is the way that he is due to his partnership with Sly’s dad, and so he is the representation of everything Sly is worried about with his friends. Has he been too selfish by dragging his friends into his family struggles? Has he not given enough attention to their own contributions? Does he even know what it means to share his life with someone? And as he draws closer and closer to the Cooper Vault, a new fear joins in with the rest. What does he have to contribute to the Cooper name?

That last bit is a question that fans have asked for years. Every Cooper was given some special move or technique that they were the master of and added to the Thievius Racoonus. But all Sly does is learn their moves and perform them. Here Sly is, running through representations of his ancestors’ history, and the only real thing he’s decided on is telling Carmelita he loves her if he sees her again. He also decided to bring Murray and Bentley into the vault with him...only to discover that it was a somewhat empty gesture since they couldn’t follow him beyond the entryway. 

So Sly gets to the inner sanctum and comes into contact with Dr. M, and when once again faced with his father’s mistakes he has a realization. His father, according to Dr. M, never gave as much thought to his friends’ interests. Sly’s conflicts over how he is treating his friends, his back and forth internal debate over their own well-being, his desire to have a life outside of thieving, all of that is his contribution. His respect for those outside of the Cooper Clan. He doesn’t have the mechanical skills to match Otto. Murray is the mechanic. He didn’t truly defeat Clockwerk, at least not without the help of Carmelita. Everything he’s done has been with the help of his friends in ways big and small. Sly finally resolves his inner contradictions by realizing that he himself is a contradiction of every Cooper before him.

So, with this knowledge in mind, Sly defeats Dr. M, gives up his thieving life to be with Carmelita (a way for both of them to be happy), and leaves the Cooper Vault and Thievius Racoonus to non-Coopers. And while this could easily be a sad ending, with the family we spent three games with breaking up and Sly seemingly giving up the focus of the games, it is played as a happy one. Because as we see in the ending, Sly is truly happy. He knows who he is, he knows who his friends are, and he’s finally made the right choice.

...And then...Sly 4...I dunno...It’s...a game...

Okay. I did say at the start of this that I would be using my analysis of the character to look at exactly where Sly 4 went wrong with the characterization. And I think if you’ve read this far and played Sly 4 you already know.

Sly drops his life with Carmelita just because he wants to steal again and doesn’t really care all that much about the situation. He finds out that his history is being erased and still spends the entire adventure throwing out quips. He frequently underplays his friends’ accomplishments. He breaks Carmelita’s heart and doesn’t understand why she’s angry, only thinking it’s hilarious that he got her so angry in the first place. Remember at the very start when I said that Sly is a difficult character to write? Very easily moving from charming to annoying? Yeah, I said all that because of this game. He has all of the humor and wisecracks with none of the deeper level stuff. It’s a fine line to walk and Sanzaru unfortunately couldn’t keep their balance.

But at the end of the day, I hope the rest of what I said was interesting to you or just a fun read. I love these games, and the main character is a big reason why. He’s had a great journey, and one less than stellar portrayal doesn’t ruin that.

[hope-for-olicity]

Fabulous Olicity Fanfic Friday - March 29th, 2019

Happy Friday! So this is my attempt to both thank awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and offer my recommendations to anyone who is interested. Here are the fantastic fanfic stories I read this week! They are posted in the order I read them. This and all previous Fabulous Olicity Fanfic posts can be found on my blog.

Run to the Water multi-chapter Complete by @someonesaidcake - The year is 1912, Oliver was 9 and far too old to be babysitting that nonsensical girl Felicity whose parents owned the cattle ranch where his parents worked and lived, but she won him over with oat and raisin biscuits and soon became his little blonde sidekick...with a completely unrequited crush on him. Years later she returns from boarding school and more than bush fires ignite in the changing times.... https://archiveofourown.org/works/7455738/chapters/16942293

Re-Airrow 2x23 by @lostolicityscenes - Holy Smoaks! Here we are at the finale. This was another fast paced and tightly plotted episode with so many epic Olicity moments. But, one thing I still wonder about is how much Felicity knew going into the mansion. She seems genuinely shocked when Oliver says I love you, yet later in the episode Oliver replies “we both did” when she says “you really sold it.” So I wrote this sort of AU that casts that first scene in a different light. I think he meant to say it, but realized how much he MEANT IT in the moment. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed Season 2 of Re-Airrow. https://lostolicityscenes.tumblr.com/post/183631815031/re-airrow-2x23

Will Fate Allow? multi-chapter WIP by @mindramblingsfics - Seeing her parent's marriage dissolve at a young age made Felicity yearn for a healthy marriage of her own. She thought she'd finally found what she was looking for when Billy Malone showed up offering her what her heart desired. She thought she was happy and had everything she could want, but things began to unravel. Slowly she turned to someone who had become an unparalleled constant in her life...Oliver Queen. Oliver and Felicity are the definition of polar opposites. He is the mob boss that strikes fear in the hearts many, while she is seen as the sweet girl next door, but there is more to both of them underneath the surface. Along the way, they become connected to one another leading to their lives being intertwined forever. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16521596/chapters/38699951

Not My Dog by @sentence-fragments - Oliver lost his dog. https://archiveofourown.org/works/8298470

Hey Baby, I Think I Wanna Marry You by @felicityollies - prompt: impaired judgement - After a night of drinking and laced brownies, Oliver and Felicity find themselves fooling around. What they didn’t expect was for one of them to propose marriage. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11034534/chapters/26572173

It Takes Two by @mogirl97 - When Oliver Queen finds himself short of a partner for his upcoming Crossfit competition, he resigns himself to having to drop out... until he walks in on a blonde stranger in the gym and has a change of heart (in more ways than one) https://archiveofourown.org/works/11788236

Forgotten Treasures by @muslimsmoak - Oliver and William are trying to find their way with each other and it doesn’t help Oliver when he finds will’s green arrow action figure thrown in the garbage. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11806263

Impaired Judgement by @wetsuiton - Felicity takes a bullet for Dinah and gets super cute and loopy on the pain meds https://archiveofourown.org/works/11084547/chapters/26651937

The One Where Drunk Felicity Checks an Item Off Her Bucket List by @wrldtravler - With the help of a little liquid courage, Felicity finally attempts to check off the most unthinkable item on her bucket list with a little help from the Hood. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11819325

The Fan multi-chapter WIP by @leuska - For the past couple of months, Felicity Smoak, previous child star known to the world through her alter ego Lisy the Tech Whiz, who ended her career and her growing popularity at the age of thirteen rather abruptly, has sporadically received disturbing notes and gifts in her mail. Police believe the notes to be just little tokens of appreciation by a former fan. Despite having left the spotlight over a decade ago and living in anonymity since, the fan mail keeps coming, increasing in frequency as well as intensity. The last drop is when Felicity receives another letter with a love note. A scary, ominous note. A note written in human blood.FBI director Amanda Waller tasks her best Agent to the case. Oliver Queen, a criminal profiler, is currently working on a special task force formed between SCPD and FBI to catch a man dubbed the Start City Slasher, who has murdered at least three young women in the past nine months. Agent Queen is not thrilled with the prospect of holding a former princess’ hand through her problem with a simple stalker while a serial killer is still at large. However, once meeting her, Oliver finds there is nothing easy or simple about Felicity Smoak as their worlds start to intertwine. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17726573/chapters/41820368

Do You Remember multi-chapter WIP by @smkkbert - Eight years after Oliver and Felicity became teenage parents, they have everything they could have ever hoped for and more. They have a good life in a nice house. Their marriage is happy, and a second baby is on its way. The calm they have settled in is interrupted abruptly when a stalker starts terrorizing Felicity. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17409059/chapters/40978307

Impaired Judgement by @cruzrogue - John Diggle is out of it by an aphrodisiac truth drug and its awkward field mission. He tells Felicity how he appreciated her and then it leads to how he thinks she is very beautiful and sexy and how he tried to control himself in the beginning before Oliver got a clue and they were just friends. When Oliver shows up Diggle needs his help too. John has no clue what was said. Oliver and Felicity promise to never tell him. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11806272

What's Yours is Mine by @laxit21 - This is some pure, unapologetic fluff. I’m not sorry. https://laxit21.tumblr.com/post/183633727946/whats-yours-is-mine

PrepPy GoThic LoVe multi-chapter WIP by @cruzrogue - New Freshman at MIT, Felicity wants to party and she meets another drunken party guest Oliver and they hit it off. Not really thinking of consequences have a wonderful time together. Oliver been to two different schools and this one he finally wants to do better because of a beacon of hope that rubbed off on him with just one night a passionate gothic girl changes him for the better. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11805543/chapters/26631204

From Somewhere Within multi-chapter WIP by @smoaking-greenarrow - Their connection has always felt natural to them, safe and secure. But others tend to fear what they don’t understand, and as far as their enemies are concerned, the world isn’t ready to accept two people who can know each other the way that Oliver and Felicity do. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16009244/chapters/37356257

To Sacrifice the Sun multi-chapter WIP by @emmilynestill - Oliver and Felicity are ARGUS agents working on a mission in Mexico, the two share some very important history. http://archiveofourown.org/works/7510744/chapters/22505918

One Night multi-chapter WIP by @suttons-brady - Felicity paces back and forth in her bathroom, fingers playing with each other in front of her stomach and her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. How the hell did she get here? She prides herself on being smart -- on being a genius, actually. Hell, she skipped eighth grade! So how in the hell had she ended up here, burning a hole in the floor of her bathroom, waiting for a flimsy plastic stick to tell her if her life is over? http://archiveofourown.org/works/11076792/chapters/24706029

Providence multi-chapter WIP by @so-caffeinated - Will Queen has struggled in silence in the year since he was shot. But when a shadowy crime lord known as Domino targets the only woman Will’s ever truly loved, fate forces him to confront his demons in ways he never could have imagined… Whether he wants to or not. Amelia Prescott has fought to take control of her life since learning two years ago that her personal and professional worlds were manipulated by others. But nothing can prepare her for just how hard she'll have to fight to set her own course, especially when her heart belongs to a damaged man and a crime lord threatens her every professional move... And her life. Destiny brings them together, but as chaos reigns and personal demons haunt Will and Amelia both, it may also threaten to tear them apart. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17919056/chapters/42308753

Love and Little Cupcakes multi-chapter WIP by @christinabeggs - Felicity loved sweets so much that she paid no attention to her lovelife. Until Thea Queen came into her store wanting fabulous cupcakes for her sixteenth birthday. SO ADORABLE! http://archiveofourown.org/works/12400539/chapters/28216053

I Regret Nothing by somewhereelse Season 2 Missing Scene/AU. Drunk! Oliver is sassy. Sober! Felicity is over it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11823810

Wait, Did I Already Do That? by @laureningall - Thea is a woman on a mission. She wants to take Felicity out for a ‘belated bachelorette party’. Needless to say, a busy day leads to impaired judgment and some unintended consequences for Felicity during her night out on the town with the girls. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11837235

seemingly impossible (but not untrue) multi-chapter WIP by @alexiablackbriar13 - Young genius historian Dr Felicity Smoak unknowingly and accidentally calls up a bewitched alchemical manuscript within the Oxford Bodleian Libraries - a book that has been lost for centuries. Descended from an old and distinguished line of witches, Felicity wants nothing to do with magic, despite her unruly and powerful abilities. But her discovery of Ashmole 782 sets the world of creatures stirring; with a mystery afoot and new, dangerous magical abilities manifesting for her to navigate, she is approached by the enigmatic vampire biochemist Professor Oliver Queen, who seems to have a deep interest in both the manuscript… and her. Based on A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16224353/chapters/37923743  

2 + 2 Equals a Family multi-chapter Complete by @mogirl97 - When Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak both reach for the last Lego Batman set on the shelf at the same time one December night while holiday present shopping for their kids, they have no idea that their chance encounter is going to change their lives. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11853030/chapters/26760468

With the Speed of an Arrow multi-chapter WIP by @academyofshipping - Oliver Queen’s elite and silver-spoon life has taken some blows in the past few years, but he is still the carefree billionaire everyone knows of and loves. When his role in the family business is in jeopardy and he is introduced to a motley of new people, his status quo is threatened. With a changed perspective, Oliver realizes his feeling for his best friend and anchor-in-life, Felicity Smoak, may be more than just platonic. OR A modern adaption of Jane Austen’s Emma with a gender swap* and no island. *Knowing that gender is not binary https://archiveofourown.org/works/16559846/chapters/38799857

The Proposal multi-chapter WIP by @spaztronautwriter - When Felicity Smoak finds herself in a bind, she enlists the help of her assistant Oliver Dearden to help keep her from being deported and losing her job. The problem is, in order to do so, they kind of have to get married... http://archiveofourown.org/works/13727445/chapters/31538406

Overwatch multi-chapter WIP by @it-was-a-red-heeler - A burglary attempt convinces the Mayor of Starling City to hire Smoak Technologies to strengthen his security. But between the sassy AI watching him 24/7 and the personal trainer with his own reasons to kill him, Oliver may wish he’d stuck with his baseball bat for protection. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17500640/chapters/41221793

// @emmaamelia95 // @mel-loves-all // @oliverfel4 // @green-arrows-of-karamel // @coal000 // @miriam1779 // @memcjo// @captainolicitysbedroom // @tdgal1 // @spaztronautwriter // @lalawo1// @quiveringbunny // @wrongshipper // @thebookjumper // @vaelisamaza // @myhauntedblacksoul // @lovelycssefan // @laurabelle2930 // 

[buzzdixonwriter]

Influencers

I seriously started writing when I was 13, “serious” in this case meaning I submitted carefully typed reviews and articles to fanzines and short stories to magazines.

My father toyed with the idea of being a writer at some point in his life, and we had a stack of old Writer’s Digests and Jack Woodford’s How To Write For Money in the house.*

I can’t recall how many stories I wrote and mailed out, but none of them sold (my first short story sale was “Smuggler” in the November 1983 issues of Mike Shayne Mystery Magazine, but of course by that time I was already well established as an animation writer; I had placed a few articles and reviews in fanzines by that time).

Recently I had reason to re-read some of my own stories, and I got to wondering who my key literary influencers were.

Here, in rough chronological order, they are:

Ray Bradbury was the sci-fi writer that school boards felt comfortable with, and as a result stories like “The Pedestrian” turned up in lots of grammar school and junior high English textbooks.  Well, that was like Hartz Mountain heroin to 10 year old Buzzy Boy.  I voraciously read everything by Bradbury in every library I had access to.   Somewhere I read his short story “Pillar Of Fire” which includes a virtual laundry list of writers of the phantasmagorical, and of course that sent me off in search of each and every one of ‘em, and that led me straight to…

H.P. Lovecraft took one look at my Southern Baptist Sunday school theology, said “How cute” and proceeded to sweep everything off the table.  I have come to realize Lovecraft was a racist and a terribly, terribly flawed human being, but his cosmic horror stories (retconned by August Derleth as “The Cthulhu Mythos”) made me realize “Holy #&%@ -- I’m not even asking the right questions!”, and while Alfred Bester and Philip K. Dick and A.E. van Vogt would later expand my imagination even more, he’s the guy who shot the lock off the door.

When I started writing seriously (i.e., for actual submission of material, not just to fulfill a school assignment), I found myself typically bouncing between Bradbury and Lovecraft’s styles (the occasional Robert E. Howard and Ian Fleming pastiches excluded).  Luckily for all concerned, I landed closer to the Bradbury camp than the insanely verbose and grandiloquent Lovecraft…

Ernest Hemingway cropped up on my radar through osmosis:  I heard adults talking about him, read his name on gag book titles in Warner Brothers cartoons, saw the TV news report his suicide.  I saw The Old Man And The Sea and For Whom The Bell Tolls on TV when I was ten or eleven, and since both were touted as based on his works, I looked them up.  For Whom The Bell Tolls was the first one I read, and for a pre-adolescent boy that’s probably the perfect introduction to Hemingway.  By the time I started reading voraciously, Hemingway’s modern style of writing pretty much became the norm for everyone, but he mastered that spare lean style better than anyone else.

Mark Twain first hopped into view with Boy’s Life reprinting “The Celebrated Jumping Frog Of Calaveras County” even though I’d seen movies based on Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn before that.  That short story led me to his novels, and oddly his novels led me back to his short stories and essays.  Twain’s somewhat old fashioned yet naturalistic style flows so effortlessly and easily and handles asides and digressions so seamlessly that I found myself re-reading his works again and again to see how he did it.

H. Allen Smith is an unjustly forgotten American humorist from the 1930s-40s-50s.  I picked up a coverless copy of his anthology Poor H. Allen Smith’s Almanac in a remainder bin in a Dollar General Store in Athens, Tennessee more out of curiosity than anything else and was delighted to find a soul mate.  Smith, like Twain, was the literary equivalent of MAD Magazine, puncturing pretentious stuffed shirt shirts with pleasure.  Like Twain, Smith employs a seemingly effortless style to conceal a sharp cynical sting.

Harlan Ellison came to my attention as I started reading more and more science fiction digest and fanzines in the late 1960s and early 1970s.  Always controversial, deliberately provocative, and relentlessly entertaining on the page or in person, Harlan demonstrated more than any other writer I encountered the fire in the belly that represents The Work. (The Work is one of those things that can’t be described, can’t be defined; as Louis Armstrong once said of jazz “If you’ve got to ask, you’ll never know.”  Writers know what I’m talking about, authors think they know, but most people just go “…wha…?” when the topic comes up, which is why writers rarely talk about it in front of civilians.)  Harlan’s style and élan could never be duplicated, much less equaled, but damn, he left a lot of good inspirations and insights behind, and I find myself applying them -- filtered through my own style and experience, of course.  His best insight was that no matter how fantastic the story, it had to be about human emotions, or else it was just shit.

Thomas Heggen is another unjustly forgotten American writer, remembered (if at all) as the original author of the novel that became the movie Mister Roberts.  The novel began life as a series of vignettes and short stories Heggen wrote and sold to New Yorker magazine during World War II and based on is actual experiences as an officer aboard U.S. Navy cargo ships.  After the war he assembled, re-edited, re-wrote, and added new connecting material to turn these stories into a novel, and from there worked on the Broadway play adaptation.  He died a tragic early death (accident or suicidal despair over crippling writer’s block, take your pick).  Again, I was introduced to his writing through the movie based on his work, finding a reprint of the book sometime after I discovered H. Allen Smith.  In contrast to Twain and Smith, Heggen’s laconic style underplayed his humor, actually heightening the absurdity of his situations by treating them so matter of factly.

Richard E. Geis is better known as the editor of Science Fiction Review in all its various permutations (originally Psychotic then Science Fiction Review then The Alien Critic then back to Science Fiction Review then Richard E. Geis then Science Fiction Review again then Taboo) and as such one of the key influencers in the legendary New Wave vs Old Stuff feud that consumed sci-fi fandom back in the 1960s and early 1970s (which is to say just at the time when I was becoming active in fandom). Geis wrote fiction -- a handful of self-published sci-fi novels and stories in an era long before self-publishing was a viable norm, and over 100 porn novels at about $500 a pop – and I must be brutally honest, none of them were good.  But his genius and ability lay in his editorial and critical skills, and in his editorial writing for Science Fiction Review he demonstrated a lively and entertaining style that managed to meld coolly analytical criticism with engaging and often sly personal observations (Geis frequently employed Alter, his name for his darker, more sardonic alter ego, in a back and forth dialog to use dialectics to exposes the strengths and weaknesses of any work or proposition).

William Goldman’s screenplay of Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid was published as a paperback by Bantam Books.  When I saw it on the spinner rack in a small drug store in Madisonville, Tennessee, I thought it would be a novelization of an upcoming movie, but when I flipped it open I realized I was looking at an actual bona fide screenplay, and of course, I had to have it.  (The kneeslapper is that Goldman never wrote in conventional screenplay format, and while his works are excellent examples of how to tell a story cinematically, they sure aren’t industry standard.)  I followed his work after that, both on screen and off, and when he wrote Adventures In The Screen Trade I devoured its lessons hungrily.  While I see a certain stylistic influence in my writing from Goldman, what I really learned from his was structure and form and style.

Walter Hill and David Giler took Dan O’Bannon’s already legendary unproduced script for Alien and -- no slam against O’Bannon -- transformed it from a really, really good B-monster movie story into a work of poetry.  Compare and contrast the two screenplays; everything���s there in O’Bannon’s work, but Hill and Giler blew it through the roof. Their writing style -- seemingly minimalistic but in reality forcing the reader to see the movie exactly as they envisioned it -- was a revelation, and while I don’t try to ape it directly, I have used it to free me from conventional descriptions of characters, scenes, and actions to good effect.

Charles Bukowski was introduced to me by the late Gordon Kent, a friend and co-writer at Ruby-Spears Studios.  I quickly became enamored of his unadorned, almost journalistic style of fiction, but his poetry is what resonated the deepest.  After reading Hill and Giler’s Alien script, I looked at Bukowski’s poems with new eyes, seeing how he used a similar technique in many of his poems that they used in their screenplay.  This in turn led to a greater interest and appreciation in poetry as a whole on my part, and to start applying more poetic styles in describing characters and situations, again paring verbiage to a minimum while conjuring up more vivid mental images.

Like every writer, I’ve been influenced to some degree or another by every story I’ve read, every movie I’ve seen, every song I’ve heard.

Some may complain there are too many old white guys in this grouping, and that’s a fair cop – if I was drawing up a list of writers to recommend.

But I’m not doing that. I’m telling you what influenced me, how and why.

Take it or leave it.

 ©  Buzz Dixon

  *  If you can find any Woodford book on writing GET IT!!!  He’s not the best of the best when it comes to analyzing the writer’s craft but sunuvagun he’s damn good and he lays it out flat in a take-no-prisoners style.  You may not like what he has to say but man, does he ever cut through the BS.

[twdeadfanfic]

Life at the end of the world: Pt.3

Summary: Your life as a zombie apocalypse survivor. It starts with the Reader settling into the camp at the quarry, before s1 and then follows the show events and storyline, more or less, but with the Reader in it.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Warnings: Slow burn, violence, language.

Author’s note: Third part of my first twd fanfic, I’ve been itching to write something like this for a long while and I write it for fun, I don’t claim to be a writer so if you find you dislike this fic, please be kind and just stop reading. English’s not my first language so maybe there’re some mistakes, I apologize in advance. For the same reason, I can’t write character’s accents and things like that. At any rate, I hope you enjoy it. There’d be several parts to this.

“Anyone needs a lift?”

You asked when you finished gathering your scarce belongings inside your car, trying to sound more cheerful and hopeful than you were feeling. You were bound to leave towards the CDC as soon as everyone was ready.

“Nah I think we’re all settled.” Shane leaned back against your car. “We’re shorter in fuel than in cars.”

Actually, now that you saw all of you ready to get on the move, you realized how many vehicles you had. “We’ll find a gas station on the way.” You weren’t sure if you were trying to convince Shane or yourself.

“The Morales’ family isn’t coming.” Rick approached you, looking stressed.

“What?” It made no sense, they had been with you since the beginning and it was clear it was easier to survive in a group in this new horrible world.

Turned out they wanted to try  and find their family, which you totally understood, but you were not very hopeful they’d manage after what you’d seen in the city, after the realization that the world was more full of monsters that you’d believed, creeping even into your tiny camp in the middle of nowhere.

But they were determined to leave the group and try luck on their own, so you all could only say your tearful goodbyes and wish them good luck. Rick and Shane gave them some guns and ammo so at least they could protect themselves, and you elbowed Daryl when he scoffed at it. He glared you but didn’t open his mouth to argue and that was a progress, you guessed.

Halfway through your journey, you had to stop when the RV seemingly broke down, smoke rising from his hood. According to Dale, it did it sometimes, but he’d be able to fix it soon.  Things went worse as Jacquie went off the RV announcing Jim was getting worse and worse.

Rick got inside the vehicle to check on him while Dale and Glenn worked on fixing the RV. Even worried as you were, you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of them. Since getting to know each other, they had grown close and Glenn seemed to look at Dale as a role model, seeming to respect and care for him. For his side, Dale tended to him and Andrea as if they were family. It was a beautiful relationship that never failed to bring a smile to your face.

Your smile fell when Rick got out of the RV, though, judging by his face he didn’t bear good news.

You didn’t know if it was because Jim was too tired and sick to keep going or because he didn’t want to risk turning and attacking you, he had decided he wanted to be left there. No matter how much Dale said you had to respect Jim wishes, the idea sat uneasily in your stomach. You were abandoning a sick man to be devoured by the monsters to come.

But Jim was resolute and there was no way to change his mind, so you could just watch helplessly as Shane and Rick left him resting against a tree. He even declined the gun Rick offered, seeming to assume his fate calmly. One by one, you said your tearful goodbyes.

“Come on.” Shane squeezed your shoulder in silent comfort, gently pushing you towards the vehicles. “We’ve to keep going.”

You turned your head back and saw that Daryl was the last one saying goodbye to Jim, nodding silently to him and giving him a small smile. For someone who just a day ago was asking to kill him, Daryl seemed quite afflicted.

You found yourself thinking about it while you drove, wondering again if there might be something else to Daryl besides his outburst and harsh ways, if he may be not as insensible and cold as you’d deemed him to be, if maybe he cared about people on his way. You weren’t sure what to make of him and there were other, more urgent things that needed your attention anyway. Like surviving.

When you arrived at the CDC, the sun was already going down with all the risks that it carried. You all moved together, weapons in hand, searching for threats while you headed towards the door of the building.

It was closed, none was answering your calls and the building seemed abandoned. Rick didn’t want to give up, knocking again and again at the doors, shouting at whoever he thought was inside while walkers started showing up. Shane was trying to drag him away, you all needed to move before there were too many walkers but Rick wouldn’t give up, saying he’d seen the camera move, shouting to the imaginary inhabitants that they were killing you.

You were ready to run to the cars, no matter if you had to drag Rick by his hair, the walkers getting too close, when suddenly the doors started opening, bright white light coming from inside, blinding you.

You all rushed inside, running from the walkers approaching you, your weapons still raised in front of you in case there were more threats inside, but you only found a man waiting for you. He was a scientist of the CDC, Dr. Jenner, and you all couldn’t help your relieve when he offered shelter in exchange for letting you run some blood examples.

Everything was a bit strange but still, it was better than the outside.

When you reached the main room you couldn’t help your amazement and curiosity at the complex looking computers that were everywhere and at the big screens of the wall. On top of that, the voice Dr. Jenner had been talking with was actually a robot, and he was all alone in the facility.

It was all still a bit weird but you tried not to let it take you out of your knew hopeful mood.

That night, spirits were high as the group dined in actual food and even enjoyed some drinks, everyone celebrating, laugh and cheers all over the table.

“Keep drinking little man, I want to see how red your face can get,” You heard Daryl saying loudly over the table, already opening  a new bottle of wine, and your turned your head to see Glenn with yet another empty glass in front of him, his cheeks bright pink and seeming half intoxicated already.

In the middle of the celebration, you notice Dr. Jenner’s somber mood, distancing himself from your happiness and seeming uncomfortable when you cheered to him after Rick noticed too. Shane seemed to be noticing it too and soon he was interrogating the doctor, questioning him about what happened and where was everyone else.

You could understand where Shane was coming from, you were wondering the same but you noticed how everyone tensed up, the mood darkening, even more when Jenner explained how some of his colleges ran to their families while others decided to ‘opt out’.

Nobody felt like celebrating after that, but the smiles came back to your group’s faces when your host showed you the rest of the facility and you saw you had not only actual rooms but also showers with hot water and everything.

You weren’t sure how long you spent there, just standing under the spray of the shower letting the hot water engulf you before you began to actually wash properly.

On your way back to your room you crossed paths with Lori, who was heading towards the library, and you couldn’t help but admire her washed hair with those beautiful curls falling down her back. Your freshly washed, short hair was spiking everywhere without control and you considered for a moment letting it grow long again, but the memory of the walker grabbing at it was still vivid in your memory, no matter how long ago it was.

Once in your room sleep avoided you and soon you were bored out of your mind, not used to your own company and lack of activity anymore so you decided to take advantage of the library and see if there were any interesting book. Your group had a little haul of books but you’d almost read all of them by now.

You were run almost run over by Shane, who was storming off the library. He seemed out of sorts and his neck was bleeding.

“Shane!” You called after him but he ignored you, striding away.

You walked into the library and found Lori sitting on a table, shaking and crying silently.

“Ey, you okay?” You rushed to her.

“Yeah, yeah...” She said weakly, rubbing her eyes and getting up.

“Did you two have a fight?” Since Rick coming back, things between Lori and Shane had been tense, to say the less.

She nodded but was still shaking and you didn’t know what to make of it. You knew Shane cared for Lori and you would have never thought he’d do something to her, but Lori wouldn’t be like that for a simple fight.

“Lori, what happened?” You questioned softly but she just shook her head.

“I have to go, Rick’s with the doctor and I don’t want Carl to be alone in the room.” With that, she left before you could say anything else.

You got out of the library, anger rising inside you, books forgotten, and headed towards Shane’s room, knocking at the door insistently until he finally opened it.

“What did you do to Lori?” You spat out.

Shane blinked at you, neck still bleeding. He seemed drunk out of his mind and he began closing the door again, but you stepped in so he couldn’t.

“Shane!”

“Leave me the fuck alone, Y/N,” he muttered, trying to close the door again and you had to step back so you wouldn’t be dragged by it.

“I didn’t know you were such an asshole.” You hissed. “Stay away from her!” was the only thing you could yell at him before he closed the door on you.

You huffed and headed down the corridor. You didn’t want to go to the loneliness of your room, sure you couldn’t sleep agitated as you were, so you decided to wander around, snooping at the open rooms although there wasn’t much to see and certainly nothing that could give you more information about what had happened there and out in the world.

You were startled when you found someone in a half-empty room but quickly realized it was Daryl, sitting on the floor and lying against the wall. You were about to leave but you stopped to do a double-take, surprised when you saw him smiling at you. Then you saw the bottle of liquor he had on his hand. That probably explained it.

Intending to borrow some booze, you sat down next to him, reaching out until he passed you the bottle.

“What do you think of this place?” You asked after taking a sip, not caring what the liquor was.

“Strange. Shady. But we have a refuge, food, and booze.” He shrugged.

You took another sip and then let Daryl take back the bottle. None of you said anything for a long while, just passing the liquor back and forth.

“You said you lost your brother in Atlanta too...” Daryl said tentatively after taking a long sip, looking at you and then quickly looking away.

You groaned. That was something you certainly didn’t want to think about. “I’m going to need more booze if you want me to talk about that.”

Daryl raised his eyebrows but passed you the bottle silently.

“So...my mother and my brother lived in Atlanta...” You began. “And you saw how Atlanta was. If they were there, they could very well have ended up being...you know...but I’m hoping they left the city when everything started...” You tried to distance yourself from your feelings so they wouldn’t take a hold of you, but it was hard.

Daryl nodded, reaching out to you to pass him the bottle and taking a sip before talking again. “We found a group of people in Atlanta, alive. So maybe if they didn’t leave they are alive with another group.”

“Yeah...yeah, maybe...” It was hard for you to be hopeful about it, but you appreciated it. Maybe your family had found a group like you’d done... “Merle?” You asked softly.

“He might not be dead either. We didn’t find his body or anything.” Daryl answered, passing the bottle back to you. “He cut off his hand to escape, cauterized it and then left the building.”

“Shit...” You gaped, it was horrible but still, it didn’t surprise you that much coming from Merle.

“Yeah...” Daryl scoffed but you saw his small, sad smile as he thought about his brother and you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. “Toughest son of a bitch I ever knew.”

“I bet.” You chuckled softly and left the bottle on the floor, done with the liquor, you were starting to feel it. Daryl didn’t reach for it either.

“So maybe my brother is in a group or wandering Atlanta like your brother.” He said quietly.

“Maybe...” You whispered, feeling Daryl was as little hopeful as you were.

“I didn’t know you had a brother,” Daryl said after a moment of mournful silence.

“Well, it’s not like you and I talk much.” You shrugged awkwardly. Truth be told, none in the group knew it, some knew you had family in Atlanta but nothing specific. You never felt like talking about it.

Daryl just nodded silently and you bit your lip. Thinking about your brother, talking about him...it hurt but it was better than the silence and it had been so long since the last time you knew anything about him, since the last time you talked about him, that he was starting to feel like a dream just real in your memory.

“He’s my half-brother, son of my mother and her husband. More than ten years younger than me, you see...” You explained. “But I haven’t seen him in...I don’t know maybe eight years? I’m not even sure.”

“How’s that?” Daryl asked with genuine curiosity.

“Well, after I left for uni I went back a few times, then I stopped going...then found a job...didn’t have the time... They would never, ever visit me...” You bit your lip unsure about keep talking, but words kept pouring out of your mouth... “Truth is...I love my brother, okay? I do, and I missed him, I talked with him by phone whenever I could. But I never felt like coming back. My stepdad was an asshole, see...”

“So you left your brother.” Daryl had been avoiding your gaze but now his hard blue eyes were fixed on your, glaring down at you. “Left him with his asshole father.”

“It wasn’t like that!” You complained, but he was making you felt super guilty, this was a sensitive matter for you. You had always felt bad about not going to visit him but you just couldn’t bring yourself to deal with your stepfather, and he had made everything he could to show you that you weren’t welcome. You averted Daryl’s gaze but you could feel him judging you, seeming almost mad.

“I didn’t leave him in the wild or anything, he was at home with his parents, and his father wasn’t an asshole to him!” You were upset, who was Daryl to judge you. “Just to me...he was his son after all. But he hated me and I was never welcome there, not even if I wanted...” You weren’t sure why you were excusing yourself to him but you were done. “You know nothing about it anyway...” You murmured bitterly.

“My father was an asshole too.” Daryl murmured quietly, finally looking down and away from you. “My brother left me with him too.”

“Oh...” You didn’t like to be compared to Merle. It wasn’t fair. But you felt Daryl was still affected by it, probably the reason why he had reacted like that to your words, so you said nothing else.

For a moment none of you moved or say anything else, until Daryl reached out for the bottle again, taking another sip.

“Your own father was an asshole too?” He asked, gaze still down.

“I never knew him.” It didn’t hurt, you’d never been able to miss something you’d never had.

Daryl just hummed. “And your mother didn’t want you to come back home?”

You let out a long sigh. “I...I honestly don’t know. I don’t think so, though...” That, on the other hand, hurt so much you felt your heart crying. You missed the love of your mother, you missed how she was before she met that asshole, no matter how you tried to ignore your feelings. “But his husband had a way of turning her against me...always telling lies, convincing her everything was my fault, that I was bad and mean...” You hissed in bitter rage against your stepdad. “I don’t think my mother loved me anymore.” You closed your eyes tight and dug your nails into your palms to stop your tears.

“She’s your mom, she loves you,” Daryl said as if it were a matter of fact.

It was the closest thing to trying to comfort someone you had ever seen Daryl do, just like when he had told you that your brother might be alive in Atlanta, and you smiled gratefully to him.

“I like you more when you’re drunk, Dixon.” You joked, your voice tight with unspilled tears. Still, you felt a bit lighter after having talked about your family after so long, after getting all out, all the guilt and grief out of your system for a bit.

Daryl scoffed but you could see his small smile.

“I’m going to take advantage of that real bed.” You said after a long moment of silence, getting up lazily. The alcohol and the exhaustion, both physical and emotional, beginning to take a toll on you. “Thank you for the booze.”

“Thank the doc.”

                              ________________________________________

Maybe it was thanks to the alcohol, maybe it was having a room and a bed, sleeping unfed a roof inside safe walls, but that night you managed to sleep longer and deeply that you had since the end of the world and you found yourself smiling in good humour as you made your way to the table were most of your group were having a real breakfast.

Glenn was looking like shit, pale and groggy, complaining about how much he drank and seemingly having his worst, probably even first hangover ever. Rick seemed half hungover himself too and you laughed good-hearted at them, having managed to avoid one yourself. You smiled at Daryl, who also seemed unaffected, and he smirked at you before starting to make fun of Glenn.

When Shane arrived he didn’t even look at your group, going directly towards the food and answering evasively at T-Dog when he asked what’d happened to his neck and saying he probably made it himself on his sleep.

“You’d never done anything like that before.” Rick seemed worried about his friend.

“Yeah, it was nothing like me at all,” Shane replied, looking pointedly at Lori.

You hoped whatever had happened between them would never happen again but you glared at Shane for good measure, no matter he seemed regretful.

After breakfast, the doctor finally showed you what’d been going on...kind of. It didn’t look like much to you, never having been a science girl, but you watched with morbid interest the recording of the brain going down while the person died. Then the brain began turning on again but Dr. Jenner pointed out that it only happened to certain areas of the brain and you weren’t sure what it meant, only that you weren’t yourself anymore but a monster driven by the will to devour.

It was some kind of infection, that was all the doctor was able to tell you, having found no cause or cure, not there neither in any of the other researching facilities which, according to Dr. Jenner, were all down. Not only that but the virus had spread everywhere, all around the world without a safe place.

All your worst fears had been confirmed in one go and it hit you like if someone had punched you in the gut. You looked around taking in the faces of your group, the disbelief, the desperation as you last hope died.

“That clock is counting down, what happens when it reaches zero?” Dale asked, pointing at a big digital clock.

“Basement generators run out of fuel.” The doctor replied evasively.

“What happens when the power goes out?” Rick asked loudly to the robot voice when Dr. Jenner refused to say anything else.

The robot said something about decontamination and you didn’t know what that might be but it didn’t sound good, so Rick, Shane, Glenn, and T-Dog rushed down to the basement to investigate.

You didn’t know what to do with yourself, your mood in the lowest point, all hope gone. Daryl had said something about getting drunk so you went looking for him, wanting to take your mind away from your horrible reality. You found him in one of the rooms, sitting on the sofa and sipping from the bottle of liquor.

“Mind sharing?” You flopped down on the opposite side of the sofa, Daryl already passing you the bottle. “Although I’m not sure it’s sensible to get drunk, given our situation...”

“The world’s gone to shit and there’s no way to fix it or any safe place, what’s wrong with getting drunk forever?” Daryl shrugged, taking the bottle back. “Besides I’ve been told I’m more likable when I’m drunk.” He joked quietly, making you snort.

“Indeed.” You weakly teased back before getting somber again. “I guess this place was too beautiful to be true.”

“Yeah...but we still have this place even if there’s nothing else outside anymore.” Daryl offered, you weren’t sure if as a way of comfort.

“You trust that doctor?” You asked him. You certainly didn’t and you were sure you weren’t the only one. There was something off about him and he kept hiding things. You were supposed to be safe there but you felt uneasy.

Considering the look he gave you, Daryl seemed to share your thoughts but he said nothing, taking the bottle back and taking a sip.

“Were you a big drinker before?” Daryl asked after a moment of silence, taking you by surprise.

“What?”

“You’ve drunk way more than the others and you’re not hungover.” Daryl elaborated, making you chuckle.

“First, I’m pretty sure Shane drank more than me.” Your face went dark at the thought of him. “Second, you also drank more than me and neither you are.”

“But I’m used to it, I drank a lot with Merle...” Daryl shrugged. •”That’s why I’m asking.”

It didn’t surprise you to hear that of him and Merle.

“I wasn’t that big of a drinker but maybe it’s just that I’m used to the hard stuff?” You said. “In the village where I lived my best friend used to make her own liquor and that was strong.”

“My dad made his own moonshine,” Daryl told you.

You nodded but your thoughts had wandered to your best friend, memories hitting you.

“I wonder how my friend’s doing...I wonder if she’s still in the village...” You said saddened, trying your best not to cry. “I don’t even know if the village’s still standing or if the walkers took over it...I hope my kids are okay...”

“You had kids?” Daryl blinked at you, seeming surprised.

“What, no! I meant the kids I used to teach, my students.” Your eyes were wet but you couldn’t help your chuckle at Daryl’s surprised face. “I wouldn’t have left my kids alone there, what you think of me.”

“Could be with their daddy or something...” Daryl said defensively.

“Nah, no kids and very single.” You said, laughing quietly to yourself. “It’s not easy to find someone when you’re new to a town where everybody knows each other since forever. I’d been working there for years and I was still the foreigner.”

“My town was like that too,” Daryl said quietly.

“So you had a childhood sweetheart or something like that?” You asked teasingly and Daryl didn’t even reply, just glared at you and you chuckled softly, rising your hands in surrender. “Just asking...”

You stayed silent for a moment until you saw Daryl looking up and frowning.

“What?”

“Air conditioner stopped.” He explained, pointing at it.

“What does that mean?” You asked worriedly, but he just shrugged.

“So you were a teacher?” Daryl asked out of the blue and you were glad for the distraction, your worried mind already having gone through all the worst scenarios for your situation.

“Yeah,” you nodded. ”Got a job fairly quickly after I finished my studies cos I didn’t mind working in the middle of nowhere.” You’d been in desperate need of money to pay your loans, rent and all that. “Now my job is kind of useless...” It hadn’t given you any skill to survive what you were facing.

Daryl just shrugged and you looked at him with curiosity. “What about you?” Considering his skills, you were sure he had to have been doing something that was more useful for this new world than you.

Daryl didn’t reply, just looked away without a word, shifting awkwardly.

Suddenly the lights went off and you jumped, startled. You sensed Daryl move in the dark until he found the handler of the door, pushing it open. You could see the heads of the others popping out of their rooms too.

“What’s going on?” Daryl yelled at the doctor when he walked down the corridor.

“Shutting down anything that’s not a priority,” was Dr. Jenner’s only answer along with something about the building shutting down itself.

You all followed him while he ignored all your questions, reaching the computers rooms. It seemed the place was going to hell so as soon as Rick and the others were back you all rushed to take your things and leave. Before you could do it, though, an alarm started blasting and the doors closed, locking you in.

“Open the door!” Rick demanded but Dr. Jenner said it was electronically closed and couldn’t be closed which you weren’t sure if it could be an excuse or not.

You couldn’t help it, you were panicking, your fear just growing more and more until you felt you couldn’t breath when you caught up with what the doctor was saying. The building was going to destroy itself. It was going to explode with you inside.

You’d never been so scared and you saw the others panicking too, crying and begging to the doctor but he seemed cold, ignoring all your words and panic. Shane and Daryl sprung to action, trying to open the door with axes but it wouldn’t give up.

“These doors are made to stand a rocket launcher.” Was the only comment of Dr. Jenner.

“Your head ain’t!” Daryl ran to the doctor, axe raised but was dragged back by Rick who seemed to still want to dialogue with the doctor, but you could see it was useless, blind to your tears and deaf to your tears and Rick’s words about hope.

You fell down on the floor next to Carol, unable to offer her any comfort as tears fell down your cheeks. You felt helpless and you weren’t surprised when you saw Shane resorting to violence again, threatening to shoot the doctor and shooting wildly at the computers when Rick stopped him.

Rick tried to plea yet once again and it seemed it was for nothing, you had long stopped listening to anything, face hidden on your hands as you huddled with Carol and Sophia, waiting for the worst to happen when suddenly the doctor seemed to finally take pity, opening the doors.

You froze for a second, not really believing it, but then you were rushing out with everyone. You’d already reached the end of the corridor, running behind Daryl when you saw some of the others were backtracking. You went back to find Jacquie had decided to stay there, seeming to have lost all her hope and wanting for all to end quickly. You couldn’t believe it but Andrea seemed to also want the same, Dale deciding to stay with her too.

It was heartbreaking but there wasn’t much time for goodbyes, the clock still tickling down so you all had to rush out only to be stopped by the locked main doors. Nor Daryl’s axe neither Shane’s shotgun could open it and you thought you were lost again until Carol gave Rick a grenade she’d found in one of his shirts and that finally broke the glass.

There were walkers out, heading to you, blocking your way to the cars and you all shoot to them while you ran away from the building and to the cars. You tried but couldn’t run and shoot at the same time, unable to aim properly and you had to stop running in order to shoot at the closer walkers until you felt Daryl pushing you forwards.

“Come on, keep moving!” He yelled at you, bashing his crossbow into the skull of the nearest walker.

You made it into the car in time to see Andrea and Dale running out of the CDC and towards the car too, the building exploding right behind, blinding and deafening you for a moment.

“Everyone okay?” You heard Shane’s voice.

You stumbled out of the car, a bit disoriented but a big smile lighted up your face when you saw Andrea and Dale had made it on time and all you were okay. At least physically.

You didn’t know what could you do now, where you could go, but you’d survived and you were alive and that was more than enough for now.

I hope you liked this chapter.

@momc95 @jodiereedus22 @osweetdevilo @sapphire1727

I never thought anyone’d like to be tag in any of my stories so thank you! It means the world! <3

[theonyxpath]

Presenting “Apple,” written by the inimitable Kieron Gillen, from the upcoming Scion: Origin.

Everyone liked Donnie. They always liked him.

Donnie served the girl her cappuccino. She glanced down, and her eyes widened in delight. Written in the froth, in perfect foam writing, was the word “Brittany.”

“How did you know my name?”

Donnie shrugged a sculpted shoulder. “When you walked in the door, I just looked at you and thought… there’s a Brittany.” He unleashed his matinee-idol smile for a second. “Was I right?” Her cheeks reddened as she looked down at her drink and then, with a calm determination, raised her gaze.

“This isn’t a thing I’d normally do but…” she said, “do you want my number?”

“I’m sorry. I’ve got a girlfriend,” said Donnie, who didn’t.

This wasn’t enough to stop her. She pushed a business card across the counter. “Well, if you ever don’t have a girlfriend, call me.” She gave him a smile that made him suspect she wanted Donnie to call her, girlfriend or not, and left.

Donnie examined the card. Brittany was a model. He could have guessed. She was, by any reasonable standard, beautiful, but Donnie’s standards were far from standard. Even in L.A., where every second barista looked like a sex-symbol-in-waiting, Donnie was something else. A week didn’t go by when someone didn’t try to scout him for one agency or another. When he told them about his life story — abandoned as baby, terrible foster families, all the misery-porn human interest a marketing department could ever hope for — they offered to virtually bury him in cash to convince him to sign.

Donnie always turned them down, much to the annoyance and envy of his fellow model-actor-whatever baristas. That’s not what he came to town for, he’d explain, though he was never able to precisely articulate what he hadcome to town for. The best he managed was that shoulder shrug, his smile, and a vague “It just feels like it’s where I’m meant to be.”

Donnie knew he’d figure it out and, until then, enjoyed the game of the place, the endless stream of tiny offerings, digits he knew he’d never call pushed across his coffee-shop altar…

His musing was disturbed by Martha. She was the oldest barista, somewhere in her late 20s, maybe even edging over the 3-0.

“Hey, Donnie — it’s your turn to close up today,” she said. “Time to see if you can even make mopping look good.”

Donnie locked eyes, then lowered his head faux bashfully, looking at her through a rainforest of lashes.

“Martha, do I have to? I had other plans…” Martha froze, and then visibly melted, but just at the moment when Donnie knew she was going to let him off, she stiffened.

“No, Donnie. You have to stay late tonight,” she said, seemingly as surprised as Donnie at the words coming out of her mouth.

She turned away, before Donnie even managed to deploy a military-grade pout. This was unprecedented. He’d done this job for a year, and was yet to touch any mop other than his surfeit of luxurious hair. He didn’t know why he was doing this job, but it certainly wasn’t for dousing the ?oor with… whatever you douse the ?oor with when you’re mopping. It was only then that Donnie realized he didn’t actually know how to mop. He’d never had to. The normally iron-willed Martha could never say no to him, for obvious reasons. Few people could.

Everyone had always liked Donnie. Mostly they really liked him. In Donnie’s universe, “platonic friend” roughly translated to “friend who is biding their time.”

He sighed. He’d have to skip the gym. Not that that was a huge problem — his friends were always shocked and envious at how little he had to work out to maintain his body — but it was always a good opportunity to gather a few more digits.

Donnie had stopped going by his given name within a day and a half of arriving in L.A. A writer had glanced at his name tag, up at his face, then leaned across the counter to say, “Don’t you think that’s a little on the nose, kid?”

Donnie smiled back and, when the writer had left, googled “on the nose” and realized he agreed.

Ever since then, Adonis went by Donnie.

* * *

While he didn’t necessarily want to repeat the experience, staying after hours had its appeal. Donnie had never seen how the amber light of sunset almost miraculously transformed the workaday cafe. As much as a Santa Monica coffee place could look magical, it did. It distracted him so much, it took until the ?oor was as clean as it was going to get for Donnie to notice the cell phone.

He couldn’t see how he had missed it. He couldn’t see how anyone could miss it. It was gold-plated, wafer-thin, and beautiful. He didn’t recognize the model. He couldn’t even identify the brand until he ?ipped it over, and saw a crisp apple logo. Perhaps a prototype that someone in R&D had left? He scoured the locked phone for any sign of identification.

On the back, there was an inscription carved in its metal casing:

For The Prettiest One

The door opened. Donnie could have sworn he locked it, and was halfway through saying that they were closed before he turned around and momentarily lost control of all language.

In the doorway was the most beautiful woman Donnie had ever seen. He would have guessed she was in her late 30s, but as exquisitely preserved as Greek marble. The business suit was simple, a picture frame on her Mona Lisa. Her hair was arranged in thick braids, a crown high on her brow. For the first time since he was 16 and had met that impossibly lithe Russian gymnast, he felt the urge to offer someone his digits. Back then, the athlete had pre-empted him by passing Donnie his first, but now, Donnie could feel himself reaching for a pen and a napkin…

“I think you have my phone,” she said.

Donnie came around. A conversation. He remembered these. He could handle a conversation. He raised the phone, glinting in the light.

“I may have. Do you have any ID?”

She made the sort of expression Donnie could imagine her offering someone who interrupted a business meeting to tell an extended fart gag. She sighed, and then aimed one inevitably perfect finger at her face.

“I think you’ll find this is all the identification I need.” She smiled for the first time, a cold moon rising on a chill paradise.

Donnie found himself about to pass her the phone when they were interrupted.

“Oh god, don’t listen to her, Donnie. It’s not her phone,” said the new voice, “It’s mine.”

Small matters like how the newcomer knew his name, or the fact that the door hadn’t opened again, were forgotten as Donnie glanced in her direction. She had the sort of self-confidence that could make Donnie imagine her running a gym or a laboratory, or else ruling a library where there was little reading and much pining. She had the sort of looks that made him want to dive into a thesaurus in hope of finding better words to capture them.

She was, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Donnie glanced back at the first woman. Actually, maybe not. It was hard to tell.

“My phone. I’ll take it now…unless you want things to get rough,” said the second woman, hand outstretched, “but I really don’t want that.”

Donnie was a half-foot taller than her, but felt sure that in any fight, this woman would kick his ass. If he was pressed, he’d admit that actually added to her allure. But was she more beautiful than the regal business woman? It was difficult to tell but was, as far as dilemmas to consider go, an enjoyable one. He was no closer to a decision when a third voice interrupted.

“Oh, darling. Don’t. It’s so obviously my phone…”

Donnie turned towards the new voice. That it was the third time in as many minutes this had happened didn’t diminish his sense of awe in the slightest. She was the youngest of the three, with neither the grandeur of the first or the appealing threat of the second, but instead radiated lightness and joy. Her smile was a promise: dawn when it was cold, rain when it was hot, whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted it, better than you could ever have wished.

Yes, it was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. There were a lot of them around.

“If you threaten my boy, I’ll make you wish you were never born,” she said, before laughing. “Oh, I’m sorry — of course, you were never born, Little Miss burst-from-Daddy’s-brow.”

“Don’t try to do clever. It’s not your thing. It’s my thing,” said the second woman to the newcomer, before turning to the first. “Why did you never teach this blond bastard her place?”

“Do not be too proud of yourself,” said the original. “You thought it wise to enter a contest of beauty against the queen of all heavens and the Goddess of sex. That third place is the best you can hope for is hardly the strongest argument for you being ‘Goddess of Wisdom’.”

Donnie looked between the three, and then back at the golden apple on the phone, and he started to understand. Three Gods, a difficult decision… and something bad happened afterwards? Paris? Something about going to Paris, maybe? Donnie didn’t think that sounded too bad. Paris was great. Maybe it had rained when they were there?

But the other part, the most important thing: The latest arrival had called him “my boy.”

The first was Hera. The second was Athena. The third was Aphrodite.

And Aphrodite was his mother.

He was a Scion of the Gods. He was a Scion of the Gods, and his blood was a?ame. He was a Scion of the Gods; his heart was filled with an endless choir of boys and girls like Brittany singing for him, and only him. He was a Scion of the Gods, and his name was the accelerator to the world’s pulse, He was a Scion of the Gods, He Who Breaks Hearts, He Who…

In the abstract, Donnie knew what a word like “demigod” meant. The general knowledge was revealed to be as meaningless as knowing the sun is merely a ball of hydrogen and helium. True, but oh so small, so insignificant to the purging incandescence consuming his every part.

He’d always had an interest in extreme sports, but everything paled to this. Divinity was the ultimate high.

By the time Donnie had returned to something resembling consciousness, he was shocked to find his knees still worked. The women watched, patient as only the eternal can be. As he tried to recover a passing facsimile of his easy charm, his golden blood sang a warning song to him.

This choice? This petty, shallow, vain little decision?

It was the most important of his life.

“So…girls. I get it. I have to give this phone to who’s the most beautiful,” he smiled, remembering how this story went. “Aren’t you meant to try and offer me a little motivation?”

They all looked at Donnie at once, equally harshly, then glanced away, innocent. The phone vibrated in his hand, a new message on the screen.

The only gift worth having. Power. Only I can make this world yours. – Hera

Hera met his eyes, dark as a million shadowy boardrooms.

The phone vibrated again.

Strength and the wisdom to know how to use this strength. Imagine your perfection. – Athena

Athena had folded her arms. Her expression implied that if he was considering any other offer, she’d think him a fool.

The phone vibrated once more.

Someone as beautiful as you are, my child. – Aphrodite

Aphrodite winked. Donnie was aware from how the world treated him that such temptations are always the sweetest.

Donnie turned from the women, face hidden from them as he came to his decision. He knew this would entirely define his future. Those he didn’t pick would despise him. He’d have humbled them, and the one thing he knew about these women is that they would never, ever forgive him.

Did he really want to live with this?

He smiled. Of course he did.

Donnie turned back, holding up the phone.

“I’m sorry ladies, but there’s clearly been some confusion,” he said. “You’re all extremely beautiful, of course, but this phone is for the prettiest one.”

He put his thumb on the reader. The phone unlocked.

“This is my phone.”

The temperature in the room dropped several degrees. Literally. A sheen of ice covered the windows, the surfaces of the tables, the badly mopped ?oor.

“You don’t know what enemies you’ve made today, boy,” said Hera.

“Oh, I do,” said Donnie with absolute sincerity, feeling alive for the first time, like the rest of his life had just been a prologue. “I’ve made the best enemies a man can have.

“You’ve got my digits. Don’t be strangers,” he said as he held the door open for the three Goddesses. “Now get out.”

Everyone liked Donnie.

And he was oh, so bored of that.

Scion: Origin and Scion: Hero are currently available for pre-order via BackerKit.