#but i think i just need to not put too much pressure on myself and enjoy the ride of drawing~

[reality-shitting]

General realizations ab shifting that helped me

The void is not a realm or a place- it is YOU. You ARE the Void. The Void is solely the awareness of being, fully.

You are not ONE being. Think of the consciousness in you as being interconnected with all other infinite versions of you. These interconnections converge into your full consciousness, the true YOU. It's almost Eldritch to think about.

Something I'm just now thinking of, perhaps this means the subconscious is all other versions of you- you're separated and cut off from experiencing the entirety of being, but that entirety is still there, guiding you from behind the scenes.

No matter what the assumption, "I am" is true. I am kind, as my actions and thoughts show, but I'm also cruel and cold-hearted, as may be the perception of another. I think I'm funny, but someone else may think I'm cheesy- therefore, I am both. And this also goes for the personas of myself in other realities. I am everything. Simultaneously, this also means I am Nothing. I simply am.

To add to the points above, I believe this "Eldritch" conglomerate is what we call the Void state, and would explain why every manifestation happens instantly once we reach this state. Think of it like accessing the files in an infinite data base- all you need to do is find the files you're looking for and download them.

As much as people will try to stress things like "you need to let go" or realizing that shifting is easy, you won't truly be able to understand what they're saying until you experience it.

All things exist at once and every inconceivably small action creates a new reality. As small as "this single cell from 7000 years ago died .000000001 seconds prematurely", and smaller.

Shifting IS easy- in the same way that gleeking or stretching is easy. Some people are able to do it on command or go further than others with no training whatsoever. Others may do it accidentally and sporadically. This does not mean the latter are unable to do these things at will, but they simply need a bit of help learning to do it on command.

Question stressing you out? "But what about this plot hole?", "How does XYZ work??", "What will happen back in my OR???"- STOP. No need to stress yourself over that, this by itself I feel cost me years on my journey. Everything will work out. It doesn't matter how, but it will, and it will either even itself out or be in your favor. Don't even think about those things. Relax.

Another one that held me back MASSIVELY. Struggling to visualize your DR? "I know it has THIS SPECIFIC TABLE in this SPECIFIC place and everything has to be perfect"! No. Your visualization does Not need to be perfect. Nor does it have to be "accurate", really. Once you just let your mind wander and let your subconscious make up it's own layout, it'll help you slip in much more easily. I put so much pressure on myself to make sure I was visualizing my specific reality, and it became so much easier when I just trusted myself to build it up from my subconscious instead of "forcing" a look

They say once it's in the 4D (imagination), it's already real. That's why you're encouraged to embody, think, act, feel as your DR self. Like playing pretend as a kid, you'll be so focused on your imagination, you don't even realize you're in your OR. If you don't shift through that alone, it certainly helps make you feel far more connected. This is also why I came up with the Furina method (although I suppose it's debatable if I really "came up" with it)

Methods/Advice are like pants. Some are too itchy, some are too tight, some you like the feel of but there's just some small flaw. When you find what you were missing, what you needed to hear, it'll be a perfect fit.

[saintobio]

☆ sorry for disappearing…

when i decided to put my blog on private, it was the only solution i could think of to end my dilemma. a dilemma that sprung from the anxiety i get whenever i log into tumblr, realizing i’m keeping people waiting over an update that hasn’t happened in almost a year. i wish there was a better way to describe how i felt, but there’s just so much pressure and anxiety that accompany a writer who has an on-going series of a popular jjk character.

if you’ve been with me since 2021, you probably know the struggles i faced before i ultimately left my blog archived. back then, i never imagined i would return to running this blog. but it was my love for writing that brought me back, hoping i could start fresh as long as i knew how to set boundaries between myself and the people consuming my fics. and i could say, all was going well, until…

until i get daily messages about how it’s taking me so long to update a certain series, how i’m writing too much for another fandom, how i’m never fulfilling my promises of posting an update. it must be the trauma, but the unease of existing on tumblr began to build up inside me, reminding me of the days when i was made to feel like i did something wrong for simply posting. with that, i had grown paranoid, thinking that every time i check my notes, there would always be one or two person sending me the most ridiculous messages/comments.

i never realized just how much my experience in 2021 scarred me ‘til this day.

and the only remedy i could think of was to escape. or hide. or be unseen. for my peace of mind, for the silence. all while thinking no one’s really going to notice.

but logging in again made me realize that there are people i’ve disappointed for my sudden disappearance, people who wished me nothing but good things, people who genuinely supported me in and out of this blog, people who appreciate my works even if i’m no longer as active. to those people, i want to say i’m sorry, and that i assure you that i’m doing better.

however, i also hope that i’m not just seen as the writer who only wrote sincerely not. i hope that i’m given the same amount of support and liberty to write for characters and stories that i’m equally passionate about. wherever my hyper-fixations take me, i hope i’m not treated as if i’ve abandoned what my blog was known for. i never wanted to feel caged by writing only sn/sy. i need the space to explore other characters, other genres, before i lose myself in the pressure of just producing.

if you’re still here, thank you. i can’t promise to be fully back, but i’ll take it one step at a time.

love, saint.

[centrally-unplanned]

A quick write-up since I am occupied today, since I do in fact think the Trump admin is engaged in destructive and generally-illegal behavior, most particularly around the civil service takeovers, the actual avenues to opposing that (outside of blocking by civil servants themselves) is really only Congress & the courts. Congress is a bit of a soft power thing in the short term, since they aren't gonna quickly pass a new law clarifying this-or-that management of USAID. But they have real power - if enough Republicans were to peel off and go "okay this is too far, back down" then that is something the Trump Admin would listen to. Additionally, the "second-order" route is for big stakeholders to make their pressure known. The big companies and Chamber of Commerce, a joint letter from CEOs, the Christian Right orgs, etc. You know the drill here.

We just know that isn't going to happen. The median voter might be shocked by these events (probably not, they probably aren't paying attention and don't care), but conservatives aren't. They spent the past 30 years building up the idea that the government is a Deep State undermining Real America and all that. At the start most congressmen understood that it was a convenient lie for their conspiracy-brained voting base; over time the inmates took over the asylum and now it is a combination of true believers and apathetic opportunists. And it combines with a much-more-reasonable take that the US governmental system is in fact a hot mess of broken "checks and balances" that is in need of reform. Certainly some things will draw Republican ire (tariffs are definitely a tax increase, Rand Paul isn't happy, Rubio got PEPFAR back as a Republican darling program), but overall I will be shocked if there is grand pushback here. They confirmed fucking Hegseth y'all; they cooked. The only saving grace is their margins are super tight - there is some hope from that, but not a ton.

So it is up to the courts. As it often is in the US system! Which is where all Dem effort should be going right now. Because court cases in the US are very much an art that can go wrong - you need the right plaintiff, the right standing, the right evidentiary case, the right arguments. The court challenges definitely are flying, the Dem "establishment" has so far being doing a pretty good job of hitting everything with an injunction where they can. But I haven't seen a lot of coordination on that, it is more opportunistic than strategic. I'm not behind the scenes myself on this, just reading the sources I know, but right now that is where the Chuck Schumer's of the world need to be putting 70% of their effort, while the rest goes into the more Hail Mary attempts to get the Lisa Murkowski's of the world on their side.

[dan-whoell]

i keep thinking about a phandom book club, but i have no idea how to go about organizing it or if anyone would be interested or even where to host it

alternatively is there already a phandom book club i could join? because i would love that

[annieslytherpuff21]

Carter and Newkirk took a weird turn on me in my current WIP…like they decided to go ROGUE! I’m all for it, but it doesn’t fit with the rest of the story, AT ALL. So I’m torn, do I scrap everything and rework it around where they decided this was going to go, or do I completely remove the side quest and move forward as the original plan dictates, figure out a way for side quest to make sense in the grand scheme of the original story, OR do I finagle out two separate stories?

P.S. The side quest is something I’ve never attempted to write before in this fandom ~cough~slash~cough~ (very mild, but still) and I always get overly anxious when writing anything I plan on posting on fanfiction dot net and this is just making things worse lol. I know I’m not a 13y/o kid anymore, but every time I set out to write anything I feel like I am lol

Please don’t hate me lol

[breezycheezyart]

every day i check my tumblr notifications in excitement & hope for more beautiful breezy art and it's always SO NICE WHEN THERE IS SOME FUN NEW ART <3

Hey, Nonny, this just got me out of my funk and start working on more art again ;w;.

It's been a swift and hectic month, so I truly appreciate your words. I'm glad folks are still looking out for my art ;w; 💜

I will fight my perfectionist mindset and try to get some nice art out for y'all soon 💜💜💜

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

Hope you're doing well. 😊

i am doing sooooooo well(despite russ's facebook page dangling mystery information in front of everybody's faces and me possibly exploding soon)

i hope you're also doing well!!

💜

[twoinky]

Btw if yall send me a dm and I dont respond its mostly because I dont know how to respond or what to say, im just saying this because I feel scared some of yall might think im rude

[djarinova]

ive been gone from tumblr for the past few days (complete accident lolol i was just at my boyf house + chilling w his fam) but now i feel so anxious and weird about coming back so mayhaps i shall just dip my toes in and say hello rn ᵕ̈ i hope yall have had wonderful days recently and that the world has been kind to you <3

[shaniacsboogara]

hey watcherinas!!! having a bit of a mental health time so i think i'm gonna try to step back from tumblr for a bit (by a bit i probably just mean tomorrow but i just wanted to let you know lol) <3

[itspileofgoodthings]

me like ..... am I a bad teacher .......because I make class fun and my students laugh ........ surely this is wrong ........

[wastedonthesebutterflies]

.

[luckystrike-x]

books i'm planning to read in 2024

[aizenat]

My hatred of beans is the main reason I can never go vegetarian/vegan. They’re so good for you and the perfect protein source but I can’t stand the texture. That soft texture skeeves me out for some reason. Meat isn’t soft; it’s not tough (or shouldn’t be) but it’s not soft. So as a substitute, it sucks because when I bite into it it doesn’t satisfy the way biting into meat does.

Nom nom animals taste good lol.

[phagodyke]

didn't even get to do my ironing :-(

[arolesbianism]

Sorry for failing to post more than once every 3 am anyways more stalien icons 👍