#but i swear he does not actually say 'mentals'. i listened to that bit so many times!!!

[cosmogyros]

Auditory processing issues suck SO HARD. I just spent about 1.5 hours watching the first half hour of a movie on YouTube, because I had so much trouble understanding the dialogue that I kept constantly having to go back and listen again and again and again, look up a transcript of the full film (the transcript contained mistakes, so it wasn't much help), compare and contrast various subtitle files available online, even cup my hands around my ears, etc. Just to figure out what the characters were saying to each other.

And it's not just literally understanding what words they say to each other, oh no. That's only the first step. The next step is figuring out what those characters MEAN when they say certain words. Like when a dude says "You know, I see, like, if we can get successful, it's, like, L-L, man… limos and Learjets," I feel like I'm having a stroke. I have to hit pause and sit there for a sec and ask myself a bunch of questions and do some research online.

Why did he say L-L? Why did he randomly say the initials of the two things he wants? Also, why does he specifically say 'Learjet'? When people dream of having a private jet, don't they normally say 'private jet'? I'd never heard the word Learjet before, so I had to go look it up to try to get more context, but that didn't really help. Is this a music biz reference I don't know? Is this a Canadian reference I don't know? If this happened once or twice during a movie, it would be no problem, but when I'm stopping and going back literally every two minutes, it takes for-fucking-ever to get through the film and my brain is So! Fucking! Exhausted!

I had to stop at about the half-hour mark. I felt like I was about to cry from frustration, so I quit for the night. I'll return to it in a day or two, when I've got a bit more mental energy, and try to work my way through the rest. If I can get through half an hour of film time per day (in an hour or so, however long it takes to get through that much), I can finish the movie in three days of watching. (And this is a movie I really, really WANT to see. I wouldn't waste a moment of my time struggling through it if I didn't care this much about it.)

Anyway. Sometimes when people say they "don't watch movies much", it doesn't necessarily mean they're being elitist snobs or whatever. Sometimes it's just so fucking challenging and exhausting to watch a movie that it leaves me feeling angry at my own body for being a dysfunctional piece of crap. I don't know if this counts as a "disability" and I'm not claiming that label because I don't want to step on any toes, but I have to admit that the mere prospect of watching a film often fills me with dread because it can be so intensely difficult for me (unless I just mentally check out and give up on understanding it completely, which is what I typically do when I'm watching with other people).

[tododeku-or-bust]

could you elaborate a bit on that post abt (not) wearing headphones in public/playing your phone out loud? i was under the idea that it was nice to not play stuff aloud bc ppl might have migraines or be sound avoidant, but didn't realize i might just be seeing it from a white perspective, and id love to learn more

All right! First, check this link out: Xochitl does a far more eloquent job of explaining the idea than I would:

I assume that you're specifically honing in on my tag about the "white right of comfort".

Okay, so here's the thing. You're allowed to find public noise annoying. I too, find public TikToks and music annoying! And if you have migraines and such, I can understand how it would be impolite and inconvenient.

But what you're NOT allowed to do, is feel entitled to the public and prioritizing your OWN comfort in it over everyone else to the point of DEMANDING that it conforms to you or it's "bad". Especially when there are things you as an individual can do to prevent this discomfort.

While this gross sense of entitlement is very first world American in nature, it is extremely White American in nature because white Americans actually have the social power to enforce what they believe is the "right" thing based on their own standards.

For many cultures around the world and for many people of color, noise in the community is a GOOD thing. It's part of being a community. I feel safer if the people around me feel safe enough to be outside, to exist and to be, visibly in public.

And you got to understand, while many white people think they're genuinely in the right for believing that being loud on public transit or in the public is worth enforcing as a "bad" thing, people of color have literally already been killed for it. A Black teenager was shot in the face for playing music that a white man didn't like. A Black mentally ill man was murdered in front of EVERYBODY on a train because he was having a mental breakdown. This sort of policing ALREADY HAPPENS to us. Hell, even white gays with any sense of community should be aware of how queer gatherings would be shut down for "noise" (when in reality it was bc it was homophobia).

And now people want me to empathize that YOU'RE oppressed by... noise? On Public Transit?? IN PUBLIC?? Kiss my ass lmao.

I've been on trains where a man was legit growling at me like he wanted me dead. Another i saw Teens high on crack. Another where people beg and people sleep and people listen to music. And you know what I did? I turned my OWN music up and went on my way. Because at the end of the day, the only person I control is me!

And if people were REALLY concerned about others welfare, they would COMMUNICATE. no one is willing to say "hey, I have a headache, do you mind-" bc they're afraid of the rejection, so it's easier to demand "well EVERYONE SHOULD BE LIKE ME". Mhm. Learn to confront your issues. But you're not "unsafe" bc music. You're just annoyed, and you'll get over it.

In summary it really gives me "I can give you something to cry about" energy. Bc y'all swear y'all don't understand the existence of an HOA but here yall are replicating the same Karen behaviors, and y'all don't even realize (or maybe even care) how racist you sound. But why would you lmao, that makes you uncomfortable! And damnit, you have a right to comfort!!

[somewhereincairparavel]

˚➳❥“Can I put makeup on you, Dada?➳❥

Jason Grace as a girl dad! Hcs list

Warning: aged up Jason Grace! (duh), just cuteness overload tbh

-He would so be a girl dad. I can see him having atleast 3 girls lol

- ugh he's the attentive and spending quality time dad- all he ever wanted from his own father was time. So no matter what, he's always paying his kid attention, it doesn't matter if it's the most insignificant thing ever, hes going to listen to his children's yapping

- he'd let his kids give him design ideas for his temple diorama project, and he'd actually use their ideas by changing it up a bit 🥹 he just wants his kids to feel included and important.

- a very patient dad. Wouldn't yell or raise his voice at his children no matter what. I feel like he himself hated being yelled at it when he was a child, and he'd hate to do it to other people, let alone his own children.

- but he's pretty strict when it comes to his children being good people and having strictly healthy morals. He doesn't care if his kids get bad grades or don't excel talent wise, just don't be a bad person and be nice to people.

- he ain't raising no ungrateful brat. Hes been happy his whole life recieving less than the bare minimum, so he knows ungratefulness when he sees it.

- definitely cried when his kids were in their "neglecting-their-parents-and-being-moody" teenager phase :( he'd think he had done something wrong and immediately have nagging thoughts that he turned out like his own dad 🥺

- his kids would be so hella polite, and I mean, elegant "please and thank you" royalty kind of polite.

- would so take his daughters on a piggyback ride and little flying trips 🥹

- he'd pretend to be an airplane while having them on his back and goes "jason grace airlines, ready for take off!" And all that cute shit ughh

- would tell his children so many dang stories, we know that this is technically canon with jason telling his grandkids stories in his vision- like he doesn't care how busy he is or if he had an argument with his kids that day, they are still getting spoiled with bedtime stories. Nobody's going to come between that.

- speaking of arguments, I feel like jason is super hard to anger, so if does get mad at his children then it's probably because they risked their lives, or got themselves hurt physically emotionally or mentally that really drives him over the edge.

- when it comes to disciplining his children, he does it sternly but gently at the same time. He doesn't overwhelm them with harshness, but gets his point across clearly

- kind of overbearing but in a sweet and endearing way I swear. Like his children would get a minor paper cut that even they don't care about but he'd freak out and hug tf out them while asking them if they're okay atleast 3 times.

- speaking of which. Hugs. Such a good fucking hugger. He gives his children bear hugs every day. - he's the "no you can't go to class before giving me a hug I don't care if you're late" type of dad

- He doesn't care if his children are like 45, like you're still my precious little girl, you always are and always will be. (He'd say this trust)

- is very verbal with his affection. Hes been brought up in a very intimidating and cold environment where people couldn't even hug properly without it being awkward, so he'll not be ashamed to be openly affectionate. Hes had enough coldness for 15 years

- overall just a big sweetheart of a dad that his children adore with all their heart and vice versa 🥹💙

[sylviathejester]

TIRED.

maybe it’s time to say goodbye, ‘cause i’m getting pretty fuckin’ tired.

PLATONIC!JOHN PRICE x TEENAGER!GN!Y/N

warnings: mentions of death, foster care (this is my first time writing about foster care, excuse me if there’s any imperfections), attempted suicide, slight swearing

author note: this is separate from the poll. please tell me if the spacing is a turn off, it’s for aesthetic purposes in this oneshot, slowing your reading like Y/N’s world momentarily stills at the thoughts.

word count: 859.

Death. You’ve been thinking about it for days on end, what does it feel like? Your foster father, Jonathan (or as everyone calls him, John), says it’s Cold. Chilling. Scary. But what if it isn’t? Some people die with a smile on their face, so perhaps it could be the same for you?

Foster family after foster family. Abusive, neglectful piece of shits who only foster for the money. You’re afraid John might be the same.

The poor man, however, actively tries to convince you he isn’t like them. He does movie nights every Saturday, he actually listens when you talk, every word you say doesn’t go unnoticed. And his efforts don’t go unnoticed by you, not at all. He’s gentle. He’s a gentle man.

But you’ve had enough.

You’re scared shitless, some families acted like they were “mental health advocates” until you showed signs of burnout, depression, and even a tinge of anger issues, that’s when they threw you away.

And you’re just at your limit with John. The mask is.. slowly.. cracking.

John’s been a sweet guy, and he does everything in his power to make you feel okay, safe, happy. But you don’t budge. But you don’t show that you’re not budging, you show him a happy person, someone you’re not. And you’re getting tired.

”Mama was a bit naïve, and her daddy was a blinded thief. He went and stole away what was left of the remains of a family. “ Another Empty Bottle by Katy McAllister plays, you forgot the last time you heard this song, but it was one of your favorites when you were younger, more innocent, unaware of the shit going on between biological Mom and Dad. Unaware of the abuse. Perhaps your soul always felt like something was wrong, and your brain caught up later.

You sit on the couch, the TV on. You briefly look at the movement, the show must be some silly romcom, how cute.

Your phone’s music and the TV served as background noise, initially done to shut away the thoughts, but they’re.. lingering..

John was out of the house, buying groceries. He tried to persuade you to tag along; “You haven’t been out the house for a couple of weeks now, Y/N. you better go out!” He said, in that sickly sweet and kind voice of his. But you insisted on staying. Being tired from staying up was your excuse, and he let you off.

You paused the music and turned off the TV, and laid down on the couch, staring at the ceiling. It wouldn’t hurt to.. at least try. If he comes back before you actually do it, you can act like you never even tried, it’d be fine.

And if you succeeded?

But wouldn’t he be upset? Sad? He’d feel like he failed you. He never did, he never will.

He’d understand, surely he will.

Suddenly, you find yourself in the kitchen, in front of the knives John kept hanging on a shelf. For some reason he leaves them out in the open.

You grab the sharpest one, or rather, the newest knife. You look at it, and your reflection stares right back, as if to plead with you to not do it, think about it.

You ignore its pleas.

You slowly place the knife right under your wrist. Your breathing’s heavy, your heartbeat’s accelerated.

Should I do it? Should I do it?

Should I-

Warmth, but not from your wrist.

Your shoulder? Is it the grim reaper paying a visit?

You look over slowly, and your stomach drops. It’s John.

You look behind him, the grocery bags are on the floor, the different things he bought scattered across the floor.

“Hey.” He speaks a little louder, which causes you to look at him. He puts two fingers under your chin, keeping it in place.

He slowly takes the knife from your hand, sliding it across the counter; away from your hands.

“Are you okay?” Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Warmth, but not from your wrist.

Your eyes? You must be going blind.

Warmth, but not from your wrist.

Throughout your body, are you in Heaven?

No, you’re in John’s arms. Maybe that’s your own, twisted little version of Heaven. Isn’t Heaven the place where you feel eternal peace? John gives you peace, albeit not as eternal as Heaven, but he’s your Heaven on Earth.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry-“ You sob into his chest. He merely shushes you, running his hand up and down your back.

It’s 11PM. You and John are on the couch, you’re holding onto him like a koala hugging a tree. It’s been silent.

“What made you want to do it?” He breaks the silence as he whispers the dreaded question.

“John, do you- will you still want me here?” You look at him.

Silence.

“Pardon?” He raises a brow.

“Will you still want me here? You won’t- give me back, right?” You look at him: expectant, hopeful.

“Of course not, Y/N.” He hugged you a little tighter. “You’re stuck with me.”

Maybe he won’t leave like the others did.

At the realization, the world felt a little brighter.

[cheeseceli]

Skz reacting to your mouth piercing

pairing: skz ot!8 × gn!Reader (individually)

request: could you do a skz reaction to the reader getting angel fangs, like the piercing of it's alright.

warning: maybe a little bit cringey but what can i do

a/n: even though i said "mouth piercing", this can be read as angel fangs as well! i just changed the title so it'd be easier to understand. I wrote a few things about the angel fangs specifically as well. hope you like it nevertheless!

Chan

SUCH A SIMP

When you first told him that you wanted to get a piercing, he was mentally preparing himself to simp over you

But once you actually got it???

So in love with how you look

Besides that, he would help to take care of the piercing until it healed

Always reminding you of what to do and how to do it

"I can't get over of how great you look. Does it feel okay? You're not in pain right now, are you?"

Lee Know

Shiny eyes

Open mouth

Staring at your lips like a kid who's excited

Doesn't say anything for a while

But you know he loved it

The type to be more addicted to your kiss

Would even think of piercing himself after all of this

(ngl i think his favourite type of piercing would be angel fangs, so if that's the case, he is so head over heels for you)

"Can I kiss you again?

Changbin

Huge smirk

And infinite compliments

As long as my man can talk, he'd be complimenting you

The typa bf to take a picture of you like this and set it as his wallpaper

I feel like he'd want to be there while you get the piercing

But if not possible, he'd be waiting for you while being so excited

Would tell everyone how great you look with this new change

Your biggest fan

"Look how great you look smiling in this pic. It's the third time I change my wallpaper this week, because of you."

Hyunjin

*hyunjin's voice" "sexy, hard sexy"🫸

Fr tho, my man's holding back from kissing you so hard

Wondering how he survived all those years before seeing you like this

*flashback to the tongue piercing during trainee day's rumours*

Lowkey thinks about getting a tongue piercing so you guys could "match" as well

(And if we're talking about the angel fangs, he'd paint it for sure. It's cliche but it's true)

Han

Let's face it

He was the one who suggested it

He'd be like "good morning my love. Y'know what ? You'd look amazing with a mouth piercing"

And he's in shock

Positive typa shock

Deadass stared at your lips for a whole minute before saying anything

And when he does say something, every sentence he can form is a compliment towards you

"You look so good"

"I know Ji, you said that a few times already."

"No, you don't get it. You look SO good."

Felix

Such a simp for you!!

He wouldn't know what to do

You'd be talking and he'd be like

looking at your mouth

SO fixated

He's hypnotized

and 100% in love btw

"Felix, are you even listening?"

"Hm? Oh, sorry sorry. It's just, you look... beautiful. Really, really beautiful"

Seungmin

He's trying so hard to keep his posture lmao

but he's freaking out over how amazing you look

Every now and then you catch him lost in the little piece of metal, admiring you with heart eyes

Similar to Chan, he'd also take care of you to keep manutence of a piercing beforehand

I'm 100% but he's so bf material

(talking bout the angel fangs, I believe he'd be the biggest fan of it, he can't even hide it)

"You look even prettier somehow. I don't know how you do it"

I.N

He's dying to kiss you

He needs to kiss you and feel your lips right now in this moment

And he loves how the piercing makes you smile even brighter

He's giggling so much lmao

He swears he could spend a whole afternoon looking at your mouth

Probably will do it anyways

And if he didn't know about the piercing before, like a surprise, he will be so 😯

He's so devoted to you

"I'm telling you, seeing you like this was the best thing that happened to me the whole day"

feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

dividers by @cafekitsune

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Exactly what it's meant to say

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 28

Prompt: Proposal

Rated: G

CW: none

Tags: Established relationship; Moving in together; Fluff; Marriage proposal

Notes: Contiued from days 5 and 25

Eddie is up on the roof when Steve pulls into the driveway. His first thought is that the rain pipe must be leaking again, but then he sees the giant letters his boyfriend is wrestling into submission on the snow-covered roof and sighs. 

"Eds?" he calls out as he gets from the car. Eddie yelps and almost slips and Steve has a brief mental image of spending Christmas Eve at the emergency room. "I thought we agreed to not put them up this year?" 

He wasn't even sure which of the many unopened boxes they were in - just knew that Eddie had not-so-sneakily grabbed all of the old Christmas decorations from the house in Loch Nora on the day Steve moved out. Not that Steve minded. His parents haven't been home for the holidays in forever, it's not like they'll miss the stuff. 

"Okay, I know, but listen!" Eddie flashes him a toothy grin as he skids down the roof and to the ladder that's leaning against the wall. Steve watches him, hip popped against the side of the car, as he comes wading towards him in the fresh layer of snow. "I know we said we'd skip it this year, what with still getting settled and stuff, but I was unpacking some of the boxes earlier, and I found the letters, and I just had to put them up. It's our little tradition, Stevie. Would be bad luck not to observe it in our first year in the new place." 

He has drifted into Steve’s space and put his hands in his coat pockets to pull him closer, all disarming, dimpled smile and large brown eyes. Steve hums in mock-annoyance as Eddie leans in to steal a kiss. 

"So does it actually say what it's supposed to this year?" 

Eddie cocks his head at him. 

"I have no idea what you-" 

"Eds?" Steve quirks an eyebrow and Eddie falls silent. 

Because, yes, the letters have become a bit of a tradition ever since their first Christmas together, and Steve would be lying if he said they don’t make him feel all warm and fuzzy. 

Another tradition is that they never actually spell the right thing. 

And while the MERRY SMAX sparkling from the roof of the Harrington house for all the neighborhood to see in the first year was still an accident, Eddie has since embarked on a mission to outdo himself with increasingly absurd creations.

Steve still fondly remembers SEXY MARRM, ARSEY MR XM, and - last year's zinger - SMARMY REX.

And judging by the entirely too innocent grin gracing Eddie’s face now, he's in for another treat. 

"Eddie?" he tries again, one hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "What is it this year?" 

"Dunno what you mean, baby," Eddie singsongs, and prances over to the switch for the outdoor power supply like a particularly merry Christmas elf. Steve can't quite conceal his fond grin as he is tugged along. "It says exactly what it's supposed to say. How about you do the honors?" 

Steve rolls his eyes but obediently pushes the switch. The letters flicker to life, casting the snowy front yard in a haze of sparkling white. Steve can't see the roof from where they're standing, so he takes a few steps down the driveway. Eddie hovers by his shoulder, suddenly tense and silent, and oh God, what has he done now?

"Eddie," he starts, "I swear, if I have to explain to the neighbors why our roof says stuff about axes, I'll-" 

And then he stops. 

Steve feels how his mouth drops open and how his eyes bulge, and he's faintly aware that he must look like a complete idiot, but he's powerless to do anything about it. 

Because he has just turned and now he sees what the words say. 

Because Eddie has actually left out some of the letters this time and he has no idea what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't this.

Because every single bit of mental capacity is focused on playing the words sparkling down at him on repeat in his head. 

MARRY ME

"See?" Eddie has stepped up beside him and taken his limp hand to entangle their fingers, but his voice is hesitant all of a sudden. When Steve manages to turn his head, those dark, pretty eyes are refusing to meet his, pointedly trained on the roof instead. "Exactly what it's meant to say." 

Steve gapes at him. Eddie cringes and pulls a strand of hair in front of his face with his free hand. The other is trembling around Steve's fingers. 

"So, I know we can't really," he mumbles. "Like, legally or shit. But … you've literally pulled me from hell and I know it sounds totally cheesy, but it feels like you skipped boring old Earth and dragged me straight on into heaven and I totally would, if I could. Marry you, I mean. So if it's cool with you, I'll get you a ring or something, promise to stick with you forever, all that lame-ass stuff."

Steve stares. Swallows, tries to speak, but no words come out. Eddie sighs.

"And if it isn't, that's also fine. I just … wanted to put it out there, y'know. Like, literally. I'm sorry, I'll… I'll just take these down." 

And Steve still can't talk, isn't sure when he'll be able to again. But he also doesn’t need to. Because what he can do is tighten his grip on Eddie’s hand as it threatens to slip from his. 

What he can do is pull him back in, body against body and sling an arm around his waist to keep him from getting away. 

What he can do is crash their mouths together in a kiss so searing he's surprised the snow doesn't melt all around them. 

What he can do is hope that this will be enough of an answer. 

From the way Eddie grins against his lips, it is.

All my holiday drabbles

[2knightt]

hiii I was wondering if u could do smth for the outsiders? Like Darry has a s/o who is the mother figure for the gang and often Johnny n pony call her ma / mom? I js thought it was sooo cute but if not it’s also okay dearrr

darry curtis x motherly!reader

!warnings!

1.fem!reader

2.swearing

3.probably ooc LMFAO

darry would literally love you. oh my god.

you’re caring???? you help take care of the gang??? you help ponyboy with homework???

you might as well rip his heart out of his chest cause it’s already yours!

the gang loves you, probably even more than darry does!

but to darry, that’s impossible.

you’re heaven sent to him. he truly believes you’re a miracle!

when he’s stressed out, you’re right there to help him destress!

giving him a massage, giving him tea, shit maybe even all of the above if you feel like it.

“jeez dare, stop overworking yourself so much! you’re gonna die some day because of it!”

“no i won’t, been doin’ it for so long i’ve gotten used to it.”

“thats even worse!!”

when you cook for him he will GOBBLE it up.

homie can taste the love you put in and he thinks it makes the food taste 100x better.

but even you have stressful days! but, expect darry to treat you like a princess!

he will not let you leave his bed, he is getting everything you want.

water? done. a book? already in your hand. a fucking car? he’s wasting all his money for you!

he will follow you to hell if you ask him nicely.

he just loves you so much.

when he somehow get’s hurt in rumbles he’s so glad you’re there to patch him up.

but he isn’t glad that he gets an earful from you.

“you know i hate these things. why do you out of all people go darry? you’re better than this.”

he just grumbles because he doesn’t even want to answer anything with a black eye that’s slowly forming on his right eye.

the gang is so thankful that you can patch them up too. they sometimes fight over who you’re gonna help next.

“i’m goin’ after darry!”

“SODA! YOU’VE GONE SECOND FOR LIKE 3 TIMES IN A ROW. IT’S MY TURN!!”

“PISS OFF TWO-BIT.”

“actually it’s my turn.”

“shut the hell up steve.”

“AYE!”

ponyboy’s just happy he has a mother figure in his life again. his mom was definitely his favourite parent, so now that he has someone to replicate that, he’s on the moon.

he only calls you mom or ma in private, he’s too embarrassed to say it with others in the room.

BUT, he definitely lets the mom calling slip accidentally infront of the gang.

“mom, do you need help with the dishes?”

“MOM?!”

“WHAT?!?”

pony just looks down in embarrassment until you chuckle and agree to him helping you. then he’s all smiles and sunshine!

darry is so happy to see this you don’t get it.

darry asks for advice from you to get to know ponyboy better since he rambles on and on about whatever he’s most interested in at the time.

“so uh, about ponyboy…”

“oh! he really likes ‘gone with the wind’, i know you don’t have much time to read so, i can just tell you the important stuff!”

he just nods and stares at you as you talk about the characters, the main plot, and the small details ponyboy’s obsessed with.

he’s taking mental notes and thanking you heavily when you’re finished talking!

“thank you, y/n. really. i appreciate all you do for me.”

“awe! of course, babe. anything for you.”

he’s giggling and blushing at the last sentence

he’s so thankful that you’re there to talk some sense into the gang.

sometimes he sits on the sidelines and just watches.

“DALLAS WINSTON. WHAT ON GODS GREEN EARTH WERE YOU THINKING PULLING SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!”

“I’M SORRY! JESUS.”

dallas just throws his hands in the air in defeat, knowing that no matter how much he apologizes you’ll continue to scold him.

but he listens, he doesn’t do whatever he did for awhile.

darry just chuckles at the sight.

his mom used to scold dallas like that, so seeing you do the same brought back good memories for him.

being around you just reminds him of the ‘good old days’ so when he’s around you his mood immediately lifts.

like he could be yelling at ponyboy to raise his grades and you could walk in and darry would go “AND STUDY MO- oh hey babyyy!!☺️☺️”

everyone’s eternally grateful for you.

ESPECIALLY JOHNNY GOOD LORD.

he goes to you for literally everything.

something bad happened to him?? he’s at your front door! something good happened to him??? he’s right beside you telling you about it!

yeah, he calls you mom too.

he doesn’t mean to though! he just looks up to you so much, he’s always seen you has a mother figure but he never thought he’d actually call you mom!

“hey ma, does my hair look tuff!?”

“huh?”

he’s FROZEN in place. he’s so embarrassed, he’s literally overheating.

you just giggle to yourself and say his hair does infact, look extremely tuff.

he walks away smiling with a little hop when he walks.

the gang fights over your attention with darry.

they ain’t got a good life at home, but if you give them the motherly love they’ve been missing? they will kill someone for you.

darry loves and hates this.

he loves that you and the gang get along. he can’t be with someone the gang doesn’t like, but he hates that they like you so much they talk to you 24/7.

he sometimes just snatches you while you’re talking to someone in the curtis house.

like you could be talking to sodapop and he’ll come behind you and grab you by the waist and carry you into his room.

all that while soda chases him down, yelling nonsense.

“DARRY! I WAS TALKING TO HER.”

“that’s crazy…”

overall, darry would definitely look for a mother-like lover.

he needs it fr🙏

author notes;

1.EVERYONE SHUT UP THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST I CANT

2.when i read dear i lowkey giggled and kicked my feet

3.should i make a taglist??!!???? would literally anyone like to be tagged in my outsiders fics?!!!????

4.i really hope i did this justice LMFAO

5.btw if you’ve DMed me im not ignoring you, im working up the courage to talk to you. im a very nervous person😭😭

may 11th, 2023. 10:18PM.

[blueberry-pride]

Can you do headcanons for Leona, Jack, Trey, and the tweels with a small gn!s/o who “borrows” their clothing items (like a jacket or something) often and it looks super oversized? 

It's Not Called "Stealing"~

warnings: N/A

Berry: Hi everyoone! New Years are upon us and as you may have noticed I've closed the ask box but it is temporarily to help me setup for the follower event! I will finish the rest of the requests before I officially announce what I have in store <3

The first time he saw this, He was about to greet you but almost immediately went to shut his mouth cuz he didn't wanna interrupt what you were doing (It's a funny and adorable sight to him)

Lowkey is the type to take blurry pics of you wearing his clothes, especially the jacket he wore in the Vargas camp. He'd tease you afterward of course ~

He'd be a bit weary especially if you so happen to "borrow" his dorm hat (cuz he doesn't wanna have an incomplete uni in front of Riddle) but when his outfit is not in use he'd happily lend it to you

Would be the type of BF that would help you adjust his clothing to fit you better. I see him as the cheeky one who he'd keep on "fixing" his hat on top of your head for a little longer just too close to see you get flustered at how close you guys are <3

A cute thing that I would see is that later down the line he'd call in his parents to send him some of his old clothes from home as a gift to his (Y/N)~

At first, Leona thought that his clothes were being washed by Ruggie more so than usual...like they kept on disappearing and reappearing. That's when he found your scent had lingered in some of them and it clicked for ya boi.

You just gave this man an ego boost I swear

He'd deadass just buys more stuff and just oh so happen to leave them around his room for you to wear or if not (cuz Ruggie would give him an earful) he'd put them in places that's easy for you to get

He's a bit more smug than usual, "happier" if you will, knowing you're somewhere around campus, proudly showing off that you're his and vice versa ~

When you do return some of his clothes, he often spends time laying in his bed sniffing them (it's a bit weird but hey he's a beastman) It's the scent of his mixing in with yours that just well...leaves Leona in a calm state of mind. It soothes him either to yet another nap or in a better mood.

He'd be a proud and bashful boi~ <3

He first saw you wearing his school blazer and ya gotta listen to me (Y/N) Jack is yknow...JACKED so that's one baggy blazer. There's that instinct of his that makes him want to protect you more cuz you look so soft and warm in something that's his

He won't straight up say it but his tail would start wagging when he sees you wearing them either when you guys are hanging out of campus or just hanging in each other's room

Similar to Leona, Jack loves that your scent is still in his clothes once you gave them back, which makes him more determined and allowed him to focus on whatever he's doing

Next time Jack's out looking for clothes, he'd bring you along cuz he'd be the type to trust your taste since you like his attire so much (aww)

Another bf that would tease their s/o relentlessly~

I could see Jade as the type to compliment you but the type where he'd whisper them lovingly in your ear cuz he likes to see your reaction~

Would sometimes just let you borrow some of his clothes even tho he needs them at that moment. He'd have this proud smile despite being nagged by Azul for being in an incomplete uniform. "It seems I happen to have lost it~" Jade chuckled as he eyed you in the corner, casually wearing his hat

On the occasion he does need one of his clothes, he loves the chase of finding you and getting it back (I pray for you but you might be into it-)

I could see him as the kind of bf that would take pictures or fond over you from a distance. He gets a kick out of people's reaction once they found out that your clothes are actually his. entertaining and adorable. *mentally takes note to shower you in affection later~*

Out of all the guys here, he'd be one of the happiest once he found out. Like he'd run up to you and twirl you around cuz you look adorable

He's in a much more cooperative and better mood (Riddle and Azul mentally thanked you for this one) especially when you so happen to pass by him.

Even when you didn't "borrow" something from him, I see him straight up giving you one of his clothes or accessories to wear for the day. like, imagine him waking up early just to pick out what accessory of his he wants you to parade around campus~!

I see him taking pics of you wearing them as well as putting one of them as his lock screen cuz his tiny koebi-chan looks good~

Later down the line, he'd bring you on shopping dates to buy matching outfits inspired by all of this happening~ (be it the same attire or coordinating ones) Idk why but I see him taking really good or candid shots of your guys' outfits

[licorice-tea]

Don’t Fall In Love With Me (Yet) Pt. 2

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x reader

Content: mentions of fights/canon typical violence and weapons, sooo much pining, can be read as a stand alone or as part of the mini series, allies to friends to lovers (soon!?), etc!

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: hmmm where do i start? i changed the pov from third to second person, (the first part was third person) the writing style of this is a little different from what i usually do but i still like it so hopefully you do to! pls enjoy and ty for reading <333

edited 1/8/24

Part 1 | Part 3

Law finds y/n leaning on the starboard railing of the Thousand Sunny.

You feel Law’s steps on the wooden planks and look over your shoulder to see him approaching. you swear you can hear your own heartbeat, and only hope that he won’t be able to hear it, too. Your thoughts are interrupted by his presence to your left. Law leans over the railing, mug of coffee in hand. A moment of silence passes while he watches you watch the sea from the corner of his eye.

“Can you even see anything?” he questions, his words coming off much harsher than intended,

A bit caught off guard, you simply respond, “Mhm, everything.” you have good vision, so you’re sort of the natural choice for keeping watch if Zoro doesn’t feel like staying up.

You can feel Law’s gaze on your profile. You can also feel your cheeks heating up, but those two things are completely independent… It doesn’t even matter though, because the darkness of the night should be enough to hide that from him.

“Are you having a good time on board the Thousand Sunny?” 

“It’s alright. You guys are really loud.” He says in a near scoff.

“Oh… Sorry about that.” Did you really bother him so much?

Law mentally kicks himself and is quick to wave a hand in front of his face apologetically, “No, I just mean… you’re all very energetic. Not you specifically, either. You’re actually really, uh…”

You wait patiently, now peering up at him through your lashes. He meets your eyes with his own, much more frantic gaze.

“You’re… nice.” He finally averts his eyes with a turn of cheek.

“Oh… thank you.” You smile to yourself. “I think you’re really nice, too.”

Law releases another scoff, though it comes off as more surprised than mean. He struggles with accurately portraying his feelings for you, who remains equally oblivious to his feelings as he does to yours. “You must be thinking of someone else.”

“Why’s that?”

“I’m not known for being nice.”

“People must not really know you, then.”

“And you do?”

“Not as much as I’d like to, but well enough.”

“… What?” He finds that you make him feel dumb sometimes, be it through quick rebuttals or patient stares.

“I just mean, we could be friends. But I understand if you don’t-“

“I do.”

“… Ok.” You grin once more.

The pair stare out to sea, and Law takes another sip of his coffee.

“How come I never see you in fights with your crew?”

“I try to stay out of the way. Plus, I don’t really like fighting in the first place- that’s not why I joined my crew. It’s more of a last resort.”

“Interesting.”

“You think so?”

“That you would rather play support than have to get into a fight? Definitely. It’s not very pirate-like.” He nearly sneers- he has certain beliefs on what a pirate should be in order to be of use to their crew.

But, ever the optimist, you simply laugh, “So I’ve been told,” you start. “I guess I’m a little… strict about my morals. Just never really want to hurt someone, you know? Even if it makes people think I’m weak, because I know I’m not.”

“At least you’re self aware.” Law begins, but for some unknown reason feels compelled to continue. To give you some little piece of himself in return for what you’ve told him. However, after he tells you, “I don’t enjoy fighting much either, I just do it to protect my crew.” he feels like he’s talking too much.

You listen intently, “And do you have a family? If you don’t mind me asking.”

He shakes his head no, “Gone.”

You nod solemnly. “Well, I’m sure they’d be proud of you.”

“Have you… lost someone?” Law immediately regrets asking such a personal question.

But, you aren't offended. “No, I’ve been lucky in that way. Though we aren’t really… We don’t… Well, we’re not close.”

“Why’s that?” he mimics your earlier question, which you pick up on and smirk at.

So you sigh; “I guess the whole running-away-with-a-pirate crew thing kind of soiled their opinion of me.”

Your eyes meet again after your confession, and after a moment of silence, you both break out in laughter. Except, Law’s is more of just the shake of his shoulders, while you actually laugh.

“It’s not funny-” Law says through broken exhales.

“No, it’s really not!” you shake your head, still caught in a fit of giggles.

Eventually you both still yourselves, and Law concentrates on his half empty mug while you look up at the stars above head. Then you look at him from the corner of their eye, just for a split second, but find his eyes are already trained on you. So you offer a smile, like always, and go back to star gazing. Another moment passes, and your enjoyment of conversation gets the best of you.

“What’s it like living in a submarine?” Law raises a brow and gives a sidelong glance at your question. “Don’t you miss land and the sky when you’re down there?”

“Yeah. I miss land sometimes, I guess.”

You explore the answer to your question further by standing up on the ledge before you, and leaning over the railing to look down into the waves being split by the Thousand Sunny. It’s not a particularly dangerous stunt at all- there’s the floor, a 3 inch raised ledge, and the railing on top of it. When you stand on it, your height is barely altered; that’s how non perilous what you are doing is, for context. You simply want to lean over to see the waves.

But Law’s hand shoots out to grasp your shoulder, acting as a tether. You look at him with a concerned expression, which turns into a smirk. You could stay up there, maybe even turn and lift yourself slightly to sit on the railing itself, but you decide to come back down to the floor on your heels instead of giving the surgeon something else to stress over. Law then pulls his hand back rigidly and scratches the back of his neck with near painful awkwardness due to his sudden display of concern for your safety.

“I don’t think I could trip all the way over the railing unless I tried.” You tease.

“No, I- I know.” he coughs. Did he really just stutter?

“See? You are nice. You care.” you punctuate your statement with a smirk and the side to side tilt of their head. An occasional habit that, if someone were around you often enough to witness, they would know signified a feeling of triumph.

Law is at a loss for words at the moment, thoughts clouded by the growing warmth in his chest that seems to fluctuate up and down his neck and face, but never disappears completely when he’s around you.

“Sure.” he takes to mumbling again.

“You know, I really like having you here with us.”

“…You do?”

“Yeah. I love the other Straw Hats of course, but… I don’t know, you’re different.”

“You’re different from my crew, too.”

“Oh yeah? In a good way, I hope.”

Law shrugs, “Yeah.” He pauses, then mutters something under his breath. “In a good way.”

You’d blurt out your feelings here and now, if it were anyone else. But this is Law, and you kind of like him a lot, so you want to do things right. Besides, that would probably only scare him away- he seems like the kind of man who carefully works his way up to a relationship. With a friendly smile, you accept his statement. Because now that you know he considers you a friend at the very least, and more than likely shares your affections… you’re in no rush.

The night goes by quickly in his company, and soon enough you spot the golden rays of the sun peaking over the horizon.

“We should do this again sometime,” you tell him as the sun starts to climb higher into the sky (quicker than you’d like), “I had fun talking to you.”

Law nods, “Just let me know when you’re keeping watch,” he waves over his shoulder as he walks away, “I’ll be there.”

And when he makes it back to the privacy of his room, Law replays the night in his head. Over and over and over again, until he comes to a not-so-shocking conclusion. “Shit:”

“I’m falling for y/n.”

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF THESE MFS, HALF OF WHO DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT CURSED CHILD, BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT AN ANGSTY TEEN DARING TO BE AN ANGSTY TEEN, I WILL FIGHT THE LOT OF YOU

(this is gonna be a bit long and probably incoherent so sit down and fucking listen to me 🔫 stick with me because I'm not just complaining about albus haters)

eVERYBODY wants cOoMmpllEeXx relatable HUMAN characters - and then SHIT themselves when the flaws a CHILD has isn't just 🥺 uwu im socially awkward and traumatised 🥺. that's why scorpius doesn't get this fuckass treatment, because his terrible human flaw is that he's a bit shit at conversation and gets sad about his dead mum (generalised understatement, but this post isnt about him. dont come for me i love him 🫶🏻)

god forbid albus, who feels unloved and unwanted (with valid evidence for a teenager), albus who feels completely out of place and outcast from his entire famously-close-knit family, ablus who is well known by the world by default via Harry and hates the attention and high expectations, albus who then gets targeted and bullied by his peers because he's not as perfect and brilliant as his father, albus who is then isolated from his one friend because Harry is making irrational ptsd fueled decisions, albus who tells Harry completely sincerely that he knows he's unlikeable but he'll try and change himself and be more like his siblings because he genuinely believes that's what Harry and everyone else whos had the misfortune of meeting him wants, albus who spends the entire play trying to prove himself and fix things via idiotic childish decisions BECAUSE HES A WHOLE UNSTABLE CHILD

god forbid that CHILD doesn't react like a patient, supported, well adjusted, level headed adult. god forbid he reacts outwardly. god forbid he reacts at all, my bad. clearly he should just sniffle a bit as if he doesn't feel suffocated and helpless by everything in his life, because obviously hes just a spoiled brat who doesn't know what real suffering is. god forbid he complains or feels anything negatively, or doesn't quite grasp that other people are struggling too because he is too busy trying so hard to deal with himself and his declining mental health the best he can with basically no support or understanding. god forbid he isn't completely perfect.

you all sound like some fucking boomer telling teenagers they don't know what real struggling is, they aren't mentally ill, they dont have any problems because they have a roof over their head, they should all go to war kids are too soft these days 😫😖😱 fUCKING‼️SHUT UP‼️

he does things wrong but he knows he does and he does everything he can to fix it! and he is fourteen!!! do none of you remember what being fourteen is like 😭😭 I swear half of you have got to be basically fourteen yourselves cmon man

cause I'm seeing this fucking pattern a lot recently. not just for albus, not just in this fandom, everywhere. ‼️ no one can fucking handle flawed characters anymore ‼️ the only thing any character is allowed to have wrong with them is trauma apparently, otherwise they have to be perfect, and I'm getting sick of it. characters and stories are meant to reflect real life, they're meant to help shape our world view, why are you expecting everyone to be fucking perfect??? what happened to nuance? what happened to understanding character development? you are all acting like characters and people are so black and white. either they're perfect or they're insufferable and evil. I won't lie, the most common victims i've noticed of this are women. but the flawed women are typically demonised, whereas the men are typically turned into uwu baby boys who actually aren't capable of doing anything wrong and then fanon goes nuts making them into ittle wittle victims. and I'm so fucking sick of all of it, I hate this. (obviously this is not a strict rule. Albus Potter, and also Albus Dumbledore now I mention it, are demonised beyond belief)

BRING BACK FLAWS AND BRING BACK NOT COMPLETELY WRITING OFF A CHARACTER BECAUSE THEY DARE TO BE HUMAN

I AM FED UP, ALBUS POTTER GET BEHIND ME

[sealofarchives]

Hello, could you do a Rottmnt headcanon of what kind of relationship Leo, Raph, Donnie and Mikey would be?

Headcanon: The reader might need 4 rings in the future since they couldn't decide on one turtle. (Requested prompt)

A/N: sorry for bringing up watt/pad again but, I did at least a couple of oneshots towards the reader in a poly relationship with the guys. So I had a bit of deja vu seeing this type of prompt again (probably around 5 years of writing) but anyway...

One last note: It was a bit difficult to understand the wording towards this particular ask. I already had some unpleasant interactions with "those fans" so I hesitated for a bit with this one.

So please double check your asks before sending it because I don't want to end up with another semi-hiatus because of asks that were out of my control...

If this isn't the kind of relationship you're into, then just skip this one.

Leo

He honestly wasn't expecting you to make the first move.

And tbh, he kept pacing around his room by the time the new feelings bonked him on the head. Like "Ooooh no... (Y/N)'s actually really really really cute..."

Surprisingly, he went to Splinter for advice. Part of his soul left his body when the rat man explained the importance of that special relationship in a lovey dovey manner. But, actually listened slowly realizing Splinter's previous relationships ended in failure. Especially with how things are with Splinter and Big Mama.

Its close to the end of the week when you suggest that idea to date all four of them. And you were very much taken back that he's okay with it. Though he can't promise not to be jealous from time to time. But, he and his brothers will make sure not to break your heart and will swear by it.

- More likely to do surprise visits (or alerting you with a text that he's dropping by for a few minutes. sometimes close to an hour or more if he's not really in the mood for a night patrol)

- Accidentally starts light hearted competitions with him and his brothers trying to impress you. He's still gonna be a showboat but tones it down the moment you pretend to ignore him.

- He's a bit insane and brave with the idea of wanting to meet your family members (the ones that you feel comfortable with). Or towards people that have been there for you in those darker times. Aside from April and his future self being close to a guardian figure to Casey Jr. And the brief time he and his family had with Karai, might be the reasons why he wants to reach out more. Mostly starting small though since the mental scar from the Krang and Shredder really changed him as a person.

Its usually Mikey or Donnie that challenge the red slider turtle to a friendly game on winning your affection. And when he's not feeling up to it, he just waits when Raph's turn is over and asks for your TLC (tender loving care).

Despite the horrors, he's still the same ol whiner. And will probably latch on to you with the most saddest eyes. That you're luckily immune to as you hold hands with one of his brothers for the start of the next week. Donnie has used a spray bottle with water at him and still does it even when its not his turn.

Raph

Very confused about the idea and trying to make sense of it.

It might be close to a few weeks where he finally understands. (mainly asking from April because his brothers can make it sound more confusing)

He hasn't really thought that much about the existential dread of the mutant/human relationship until seeing either Leo or Donnie silently anxious about it. Like the alligator snapping turtle is always more focused on keeping his family safe. And with you as a partner (and potential future spouse) being shared with him and the rest of his brothers. Mind Raph is pestering him even more just to say it out loud than just waiting for you to lead the relationship.

He'll eventually get used to it and given his oldest brother status. Takes it with ease being more patient compared to their high energy.

- Doesn't realize he acts like a "proper gentleman" (or gentleturtle as Donnie would say) when Raph opens the door for you while you're carrying boxes or something. Or offers to help you with the heavy lifting. Even Splinter calls him out on that behavior.

- When its his turn dating you, you get immediate "dibs" on everything. He plays very innocent with you but on his brothers. They always work together on a prank back at him for being annoying about it.

- Tends to look at your hands sometimes. He blushes thinking about how soft it feels around his face and lightly tracing around where its safe to touch his spiky shell.

While he always has good intentions, his brothers heavily hate the 'chaperone or third wheel checking in on the date idea'.

- It's mostly brought at least once a month and the trio usually try to tell you ahead of time before it happens again.

He'll be slightly grumpy whenever the trio share a single brain cell about a really stupid thing that he won't get.

- And he'll whine for a bit if you end up taking their side so, just take his side to save him from another wrinkle on his Raph chasm.

Donnie

He's silently making a fuss about it during the first month.

And a bit at himself, for waiting so long to ask you out. Before you went ahead with the bold move of "I don't want you guys to fight over me so... Is it okay if I date all four of you?"

It takes him a long while to get used to it. Or when Dr Feelings notices the softshell turtle not being open and honest about this relationship with you.

However once he's fully settled in, a very charming and laidback sort of relationship.

- I always get the vibe he uses 'dearest or darling' as his term of affection towards you. (His brothers used to tease him about it but, on days where bad luck decided to give this turtle a break and more on them. They're pleading for your help and whether you want to add fuel to that fire. That's on you)

- To me, he has that dramatic hopeless romantic energy. The only difference he pulls it off better than the dense couples in rom com movies/shows. With the amount of words he knows, at least a few or almost all of his compliments at you will send your heart into a flutter.

- At least every now and then, he'll try to dazzle you with something. Either one of his incredible inventions or surprising you with your favorite thing. (He'll boldly insist he was a step ahead getting it as a surprise. Even though his brothers actually chipped in to avoid another "The Purple Game" incident)

He sort of has a friendly rivalry with Leo on trying to make you laugh.

- If he starts to gloat about it, especially winning with the claim "Told you I was the funniest."

You kissing the softshell turtle's lips will instantly shut him down. use that power wisely

He unfortunately has jealousy issues by the time his turn is up.

- Like pretending to give the cold shoulder until you need help with something he's an expert at.

Mikey

Very much the mature one taking this relationship seriously.

Even though it took a few days with Donnie's help to get a better understanding of your idea of the poly relationship.

Dr Feelings and Dr Delicate Touch are working overtime because of these dumb dumbs sometimes.

Despite that, absolutely the sweetest turtle boyfriend. (and best future turtle husband material out of the four of them)

- While he has the Lou Jitsu charm, Mikey's bundle of sunshine is a whole another level. You can't help but, slowly break into a smile from his toothy grin.

- If you're the type who takes a long while to warm up to pda. He'll mostly stick to handholding and ask whenever you want a hug or kiss from him. (He's definitely more warm as a result of the mystic fire-based energy and ninpo that just naturally went with the flow towards him. So you sometimes fall asleep on his shoulder without realizing it)

- More likely to make any boring task you dread doing into a fun adventure. You both have matching hats from a previous grocery trip and pretended it was a mission from one of the Jupiter Jim comics.

His brothers were totally not jelly about it.

Very much tries to hide his embarrassment from his brothers suggesting 'better date ideas' to the best of his ability. He glared a few times at Raph with the chaperone idea. The usual youngest not getting along with the oldest brother sort of deal. So whenever you're around, the biggest sign is a strained smile on his face while lying that everything is okey-dokey.

- He almost clamped his shell shut when Splinter immediately disapproved the ideas with something even more embarrassing.

The only downside is he might go to some extreme lengths with how stubborn his brothers act.

- So you might need additional help from Splinter or April to prevent a new doctor persona along the lines of Dr Chaos.

[antialiasis]

Chess (2018 Kennedy Center revival)

So I was just going to briefly mention all the other different versions of Chess I have consumed in the big essay post I’ve been writing on and off, but there was just too much to say about this one which made it really awkward to fit it in, so fine, here is another individual chesspost. Nearly 7500 words of rambling under the cut, oh my god.

This production represents the latest official full overhaul of Chess. It sports an all-new book written by Danny Strong, also known as the actor who played Jonathan on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which is some whiplash (Sarah Michelle Gellar is apparently a big Chess fan, too). It was later staged again as a concert with some further modifications in 2021, but I listened to an audio bootleg of the 2018 version. (There exist some videos of it online, but only scattered bits.)

The Story Changes

This version has London’s basic plot structure with the distinctive two chess tournaments (this time four years apart, which is neither the original number nor the actual number of years between world chess championships), but rearranges Act I, adds a lot more quippy dialogue and swearing, reinterprets the characters, and recenters real-world politics in the whole thing — sort of the exact inverse of what Chess på svenska did with the material. It opens with “Difficult and Dangerous Times” to set the scene in the Cold War and features the Arbiter narrating with sardonic omniscient commentary between songs/scenes throughout, which does feel a bit more consistent than the Arbiter suddenly having a narrator role for the duration of one song in Act II.

All the main characters in this version are reinterpreted with significant new background context, which is a very interesting way to rewrite it that I definitely dig in principle. For example, Florence’s first scene here involves Walter threatening her with deportation from the US unless she can make Freddie behave for the duration of the tournament. Most versions of Chess make the political scheming very symbolic and vague — exchanges of mostly unnamed political prisoners or handwaved concessions — but this version is noticeably specific, with specific nuclear arms treaty negotiations that the CIA believes would be negatively affected if Freddie keeps openly antagonizing the Soviets. She tells Walter to go fuck himself (told you it adds more swearing) and that nobody can control Freddie Trumper, but ultimately she doesn’t have much of a choice but to reluctantly play along. This addition recontextualizes her character and her interactions with Freddie in Act I a fair bit — it’s pretty significant, after all, that she is under threat and may lose her home if she doesn’t somehow control what she really can’t.

Meanwhile, Freddie himself here suffers from a full-on mental illness which he takes medication for. Walter asserts on a phone call early that they’re dealing with a “genuine paranoid schizophrenic”, but then later calls him a “bipolar bitch”; I take the blatant inconsistency combined with the obviously insulting nature of these remarks to mean probably we’re not meant to take either of them at face value, but these two lines from Walter are the only ones suggesting any specific diagnosis. (I unfortunately suspect Danny Strong didn’t have a specific condition in mind and research it so much as just slap him with a Generic Ambiguous Mental Illness for which he takes Pills.) One way or another, Freddie’s ambiguous mental illness gives him bouts of intense paranoia, driving him to do things like trashing his and Florence’s hotel room to look for listening devices at one point. Florence keeps insistently, frustratedly telling him to just take his goddamn pills even as he’s in genuine distress; it’s pretty uncomfortable, and also definitely one of those things that are at least more human when his episodes could cost her the only home she has: she’s desperate and in distress too.

(I do kind of feel as if this whole bit would make more sense if Florence and Freddie had a strictly business relationship here to start with, instead of being explicitly portrayed as a couple — when they have a committed intimate partnership going on, one would think Florence getting deported would also be pretty obviously significant for Freddie, and Florence quietly playing along with the CIA and crossing her fingers that she can indirectly coax him into behaving with seemingly no serious thought given to whether it’d be better to just tell him why he needs to stop feels stranger. The scene with Walter sounds like Walter/the CIA are not aware of their romantic relationship and Florence wants to keep it that way — they both refer to Freddie strictly by his full/last name and as “her player” — so I guess Walter would have assumed she wouldn’t tell him, but surely the calculus would at least look a bit different to Florence herself. Even if it just prompts her to realize Freddie would still be liable to react by becoming even more erratic and vocal about his paranoias, that feels like it’d be significant enough, at least for her feelings on this relationship going forward, that it never actually coming up or being suggested within the story starts to feel marginally odd. Not a major complaint, though, just a bit of overthinking.)

Freddie in general is noticeably portrayed much more sympathetically here than usual throughout. Where other versions of Chess tend to present Freddie as an attention-seeking drama queen who plays up ludicrous arbitrary demands for money and press, here things like his walkout from the first chess game are made to come from a much more genuine place: he has major sensory issues and is intolerably thrown off balance by distracting noise and lights (which really are deliberately arranged to sabotage him). “Florence Quits”, the song with the misogyny verse, usually reads as being triggered by his jealousy and inability to accept that Anatoly’s just playing better than him, but this version makes it feel more about how he feels persistently gaslit about the ways he’s being sabotaged than anything else: he accuses the Soviets of having a hypnotist in the front row to throw him off (which they do, and Freddie literally saw him and recognized him) and Florence of working for the CIA (which she has been, if not by choice) while they deny it and brush it off, and the tense opening notes of the song play under him desperately yelling “You’re lying to me! You’re all lying to me!” (Which doesn’t make the misogyny okay, obviously, but it does make it feel more like a desperate, paranoia-fueled lashout where you don’t know how much he really means all that.)

When he subsequently forfeits the match against Anatoly, he makes a speech that sounds absolutely despairing where he says chess has been taking a toll on his health since he first became champion at eleven years old, and he doesn’t feel he can trust anyone, even himself. In Act II, before “The Interview”, he even actually apologizes to Florence for how he treated her; heck, his motivation for going so hard after Anatoly in “The Interview” itself is portrayed as being that he is genuinely disgusted by Anatoly leaving his family so callously (which is a lot of fun given Freddie’s own issues about his father leaving him and his mother behind) and wants Florence to hear the truth about what a despicable man he is, which is still unpleasant to her but clearly comes from a much more sympathetic place than either simple spite or reluctantly complying with Walter’s orders.

As for Anatoly… he was taken from his parents when he was a small child to be groomed by Molokov and the KGB into becoming a chess champion, and he’s well aware from his very first scene that the state had killed the previous Soviet champion after Freddie unseated him. (Freddie excoriates the press early on for not covering why the former champion disappeared off the face of the Earth because they’re too busy bashing Freddie, which sounds like paranoia, but the narrative has actually told us Freddie is right and they really did execute him but no one but Freddie seems to notice or care — another way in which Freddie is jarringly sympathetic here. In general, Freddie is portrayed as paranoid, and the other characters treat him like he’s just paranoid, but the narrative keeps proving Freddie’s paranoia right.)

Anatoly, though, isn’t afraid of the same fate, because “The state cannot execute a man… that is already dead.” (This general sentiment could press my buttons, but it just feels super corny and melodramatic the way it’s presented and performed, especially with that dramatic pause in there.) He is deeply depressed, thinks his marriage to Svetlana is fake and his kids hate him, and says repeatedly in Act I that he hates chess and just wants to be free of it, though he also describes a particular championship match he watched as the only time he’s felt love. At the end of Act I, he defects to the UK along with Florence as usual (his defection fully blows up the treaty Walter was worrying about despite Anatoly’s victory, so Florence’s refugee visa is indeed revoked, and that’s why they end up in the UK). Theoretically he should be free of chess now, but it bothers him intensely that he only won by forfeit (here they never finished playing a single match), resulting in him returning to defend his world champion title, and win it ‘properly’, four years later in Bangkok against Viigand.

Unknown to Anatoly, by Act II, after the election of Ronald Reagan, the Soviets are extra on edge and believe a planned NATO military exercise is actually the US mobilizing for a full-scale invasion of the Soviet Union. Walter tries to convince Molokov it’s just an exercise; Molokov insists unfortunately the generals are going to believe it’s an invasion and be ready to retaliate unless Viigand wins the championship (if Viigand wins they will take it as a ‘sign of goodwill’ from the US, which will change their minds on the apparent invasion because, uhh, unclear). Throughout Act II, the larger stakes in this version are set up to be that if Anatoly should win the match, the Soviets are liable to start a nuclear war.

Does Walter go to Anatoly to frankly tell him that apparently the Soviets have lost their minds and are basically threatening nuclear war over a chess match and try to convince him to throw on that basis? Does Molokov realize that if he’s telling Walter to go rig the chess match so the generals will call it off, he clearly doesn’t actually believe that the US is about to invade, so probably he should be trying to convince the generals not to go for the nuclear option himself? No, of course not; this is Chess, so we have to have the songs that are in Chess. So instead, Walter and Molokov just go through the same indirect schemes as usual to unbalance Anatoly and convince him to throw the game, with some minor twists. Molokov actually actively threatens Svetlana with being sent to a gulag to die if she doesn’t convince her husband to return — and Svetlana does straight-up tell Anatoly this, only for Anatoly to brush her off and tell her they won’t do that. Florence learns the same from Walter and initially dismisses him, and fully doesn’t believe him about her father being alive, but does ultimately sympathize with Svetlana and worry for her, which I like. But Anatoly is obsessed with winning this championship above all else and fully convinced Molokov is bluffing.

In the end, he plays the game to win, oblivious to the nuclear threat; as he checkmates, Walter makes a desperate phone call to his superiors to call off the training exercise. (Why he didn’t just do that immediately when Molokov told him the Soviets were taking it as an attack, instead of spending all this time playing along with this elaborate chess mind game, is a mystery.) Only… they don’t, and the Soviets watch with their fingers on the nuclear button, but ultimately they don’t fire. The Arbiter’s narration informs us this was the closest the world ever came to destruction, even closer than the Cuban missile crisis, and that this then served as the wake-up call that prompted negotiations about nuclear deescalation.

Anatoly, meanwhile, returns to the Soviet Union as usual, this time successfully exchanging himself for Florence’s imprisoned father, and Walter gives Florence and her father visas so that they can return to the US together.

Broad thoughts

I feel profoundly weird about the mixing of real-life history and completely fictitious alternate history here — you can’t just assert in narration that the fictional events in your musical were what taught the US and Soviet Union that maybe they should just talk to each other, while making a specific comparison to an actual thing that really happened, after spending the musical asserting that the Soviets murdered chess players for losing the world championship. I think mixing history and fiction can work fine if we can imagine that for all we know this is what really happened, or alternatively that this is what might have happened in some alternate universe similar to but distinct from ours. But here, we’re creating highly significant and publicized events that are obviously fictional, making it absurd to pretend this is what really happened, while also presenting these fictional alternate-universe events in objective hindsight narration alongside real events that happened in the real world and as a supposed cause of them. This ending narration just feels like it’s weirdly trying to have its cake and eat it too.

All in all, though, I think this is definitely one of the most interesting efforts to rewrite Chess. It definitely has something it’s going for, there are several neat ideas in it, and in particular I appreciate that it tries to give extra attention to the characters, more context to their actions, and more messy, humanized depth, inner conflict, and complicated motivators and stressors behind what they do. I genuinely enjoy what it’s doing with Freddie in Act I, in particular, even though it feels somehow both jarringly like it’s woobifying him (I genuinely think he ends up coming across as the most sympathetic of the three mains here, with so much of his erratic, childish and unpleasant behaviour being recontextualized to be more understandable and the way his hatred of the Soviets keeps being validated by the narrative) and like the narrative is weirdly harsh on him (this much more sympathetic Freddie who suffers from an actual mental illness is treated like absolute irredeemable scum by every other character including the fourth-wall-leaning narrator, even more than usual).

I also think the restructuring of Act I was pretty solid for the most part, though there’s definitely some awkwardness, like how Freddie’s expanded encounters with the press sort of clumsily repeat the same beats a bit. On the one hand, I can get what Danny Strong was going for in choosing to introduce everyone first and then go into “Merano” instead of doing several minutes of narrative meaninglessness before the main characters are even introduced; on the other hand, that kind of just half-defeats the sole original purpose of “Merano”, which is to provide a very jaunty more stereotypical musical theater song so that Freddie can be introduced via barging in and interrupting it with his very different vibe, and if I were Danny Strong I would definitely have just removed “Merano” at that point. But the “Difficult and Dangerous Times” opening works great, and it nicely avoids the “almost nothing of note happens for nearly forty minutes” and “several meaningless fluff songs in a row” problems of the London script, introducing conflict and stakes early and keeping the narrative going.

Ultimately, though, a lot of what it’s trying to do doesn’t quite come together to me, and some of it is variously misguided or just strange.

The Politics

To start with, I can definitely get wanting to emphasize the role of Cold War politics in the narrative, and I basically enjoyed the increased political focus and higher stakes in Act I — but I don’t think making Anatoly unwittingly almost start a nuclear war works here, or fits properly into this narrative at all. The Soviet generals have to be holding idiot balls; Molokov has to be holding an idiot ball; Walter has to be holding the biggest idiot ball of all; and most importantly, the ludicrously massive stakes being pasted on top of the match despite none of the main characters even knowing about it means we zoom thoroughly out of the character drama of the situation: “Endgame” just becomes grotesquely trivial with that hanging over it without Anatoly’s knowledge, rendering the actual drama of the climactic song completely irrelevant to what’s really at stake.

I also dislike, in a version that emphasizes the politics, how distinctly slanted it is. One of the things that I like in the London strain of Chess is that Walter and Molokov are both slimy, manipulative bastards in different ways, both sides’ political actors cruelly toying with the lives of the players for their own impersonal ends; the righteousness of each state as a whole doesn’t really matter to this story, only the impact that the whole conflict and the mutual scheming has on the main characters’ lives. But in this version, the Soviets and Molokov are cartoon villains who literally abduct children to force them into chess camp and then murder them if they don’t win the world championship, while Walter may be a condescending asshole who’s willing to threaten Florence but is distinctly the ‘good guy’ in his interactions with Molokov, which comprise most of his screentime, especially in Act II. Walter even gets a humanizing moment where he explains he has a nine-year-old son and has nightmares about him suffering a nuclear winter (Molokov, meanwhile, tells Walter in Act I that Anatoly is like a son to him but could not more obviously not care about Anatoly at all when he proudly presents his new champion material Viigand in Act II). I just find it really detrimental to Chess’s narrative to make it about Soviets Bad, US Good, and more so the more you focus on that — to whatever extent you highlight the politics in this story, it should be done in a way that’s about how the political machinations of the Cold War impact the character drama at the center of it, and it’s distracting when instead you make it into a loosely related B-plot about Walter’s desperate diplomatic efforts to stop the evil Soviets from destroying the world with their shortsightedness.

I think a successful more politically-focused Chess could definitely exist, but I think it’s always going to function best if Walter and Molokov feel at least narratively like just about equal scumbags. It’s not even impossible to imagine nuclear weapons and mutually assured destruction coming up in the course of it — but it needs to be using that to make us enraged at all of this on behalf of Anatoly/Florence/Svetlana/Freddie, not enraged at Molokov on behalf of Walter.

The Character Work

Meanwhile, I do basically like the setup and recontextualization done for all of the main characters in Act I, but unfortunately none of them quite delivered as well as I hoped in the end.

Let’s start with Florence. I actually quite liked the deportation threat, putting Florence herself under personal pressure in a way she usually isn’t. I dig characters being put through the wringer and making decisions under stress. But the story doesn’t quite do anything with that other than using it as silent context behind her early interactions with Freddie and technically as the reason she and Anatoly move to the UK offscreen. We don’t, for instance, ever see Freddie learn that that’s why she moved or that he was unwittingly indirectly responsible for that, or otherwise address that in any way, and as far as Florence in the rest of the story is concerned, it might as well never have happened — we never see her having any kinds of feelings on it, or even confronting Walter about that nasty little part he played in her life when she meets him again (she doesn’t even comment on it when he offers her the chance to go back to the US at the end!). To an extent this is, of course, because Florence being deported was never originally part of the story of Chess, so of course it doesn’t come up in any song or have any significant specific impact on the core series of events — but if you’re going to add it in at all, you really ought to be taking that somewhere in the rest of your additions that isn’t just briefly handwaving that she gets to go back at the end.

Like Long Beach, this version brings Florence’s father back at the end — but unfortunately, it feels really unearned here. Compared to other London variants, it actually ditches the bit of “The Deal” where Florence is tangibly emotional and riled up by Walter’s offer of her father — she fully dismisses the idea of her father being alive as bullshit, and instead it’s Svetlana who moves her to have doubts when she sees her begging Anatoly to return on video and realizes Svetlana still loves him. I do really like that, by itself, and it’s probably my favorite thing about this version’s portrayal of Florence; her empathizing with Svetlana to the point of feeling genuinely guilty for having taken her husband from her, and believing maybe the right thing to do would be if he went back to Svetlana for her sake, is actually very good, serves as a great lead-in to “I Know Him So Well”, and makes Florence’s character feel far more sympathetic in a production where she’s otherwise pretty lacking in that department. But it leaves us with no emotional connection whatsoever to Florence’s father — we’ve only heard her mention him twice before Walter’s offer, very briefly, in Act I, and not really with any sense that she misses or is all that invested in him. Seeing her reunite with him means nothing for her or her arc; it just comes out of left field, and winds up being another thing slanting this version towards Good Guy Walter, Bad Guy Molokov, what with Walter offering her visas back to the US for both of them seemingly out of the goodness of his heart.

It would have been possible to actually build up to this in a way that would make it satisfying. Florence and Anatoly have several conversations; we could have used some of those to have Florence actually talk about her father and how she feels about him being gone, and that could have been part of building up her relationship with Anatoly, made it meaningful that Anatoly’s parting gift to her is to ensure her father’s return. I suppose Danny Strong’s thought process may have been that if he built up Florence’s father too much, that should become her main concern once Walter brings that into it, and he wanted her concern to be about Svetlana instead, which I guess is fair; it also means Anatoly only really has to dismiss the potential harm to one other person in his obsession with winning the game. But if you do make the decision to not build up her father, then bringing her father back is not an ending that makes any sense, and there was no need to do this — they could have easily cut out all suggestion of her father being alive entirely and it would only have made things smoother. I think the only reason she gets her father back in this one is in some hasty effort to make Florence’s ending less bleak, but because it doesn’t have any emotional resonance, it’s just not the right way to do that here.

Speaking of Florence and Anatoly, the romance here… once again has some neat, interesting things it’s going for but doesn’t quite come together as a whole. The two of them do have some actual conversations where they bond a bit, which is already a marked improvement over the default London script — but their very first conversation features Anatoly asserting out of nowhere that Florence has “a way of brightening his spirit”, despite not even knowing her, which isn’t super convincing and just comes off kind of creepy-awkward. Florence asserts a few times that he’s sweet and kind, but we don’t really see much of him actually coming across as sweet or kind — his lines tend to be either melodramatic or sardonic moping interspersed kind of jarringly with awkward jokes. He’s less charming or sweet and more like a lonely, kicked dog, which is fine if Florence is into that but doesn’t quite make her descriptions of why she likes him ring true.

This production actually goes back to the concept album a bit when it comes to Florence and Anatoly — namely, more than political manipulation and external pressures forcibly tearing them apart from the outside, there’s a more substantial internal tension between them as Anatoly genuinely simply prioritizes winning the chess match over her and dismisses her as she tries to question him about Svetlana. The two approaches can both work but do different things for the narrative; this internal approach puts more focus on the personal conflict and character drama and makes the relationship more interesting, which is definitely good, and in principle I think this is built up to in a pretty solid way here — Anatoly, raised to become a chess champion to the exclusion of all else, being maddened by the notion of not actually beating Freddie in Act I and needing to prove he deserves the championship to himself in Act II before he can feel “free from chess” works as a coherent reason for him to be so strikingly, unhealthily obsessive about it.

But I think the biggest problem is that Florence and Anatoly individually don’t hit well enough as characters to create investment in them. Florence is ultimately not developed enough and mostly just acts kind of unpleasant, especially to Freddie, all the way up until that Svetlana bit in Act II. More importantly, I just can’t like or understand or sympathize with Anatoly at all, beyond recognizing that core of what his arc is going for. Part of it is probably down to the writing of his lines, which I’m just not a fan of in general. I already named one example from his first scene. Here’s how Anatoly and Florence’s very first conversation starts:

ANATOLY: It’s not his fault. This game drives us all crazy. FLORENCE: I’m fine. Aren’t you even a little bit scared? ANATOLY: Of Trumper? FLORENCE: No, that they’ll kill you if you lose. ANATOLY: Oh. To quote the great Leo Tolstoy, “Even in the valley of the shadow of death, two and two do not make six.” FLORENCE: What does that mean? ANATOLY: I don’t know exactly, but it is very Russian.

I just don’t find this dialogue very convincing. Why is he reciting a dramatic irrelevant quote if he doesn’t know what it means and just thinks it’s “very Russian”? It feels like a generic quippy exchange off a snarky TV show. Does Anatoly use humour to cope with his situation? Not really; this is pretty much the only time he says anything that might be taken as that. This feels like a joke that’s there only to get a laugh out of the audience, not because Anatoly would actually tell it — and consequently, it doesn’t tell us anything real about Anatoly. Meanwhile, Florence responds to this with “Oh, you’re funny,” as if that’s one of the reasons she falls for him when I would decidedly not name that as a character trait he has. I feel like most of his dialogue just doesn’t have a great sense of character — in stark contrast to Freddie, who oozes character. I can’t get a good sense of who he is and how he thinks. He’s just there. And this also makes it harder to see what Florence sees in him and believe in the relationship.

Moreover, this Anatoly just comes across as kind of a terrible person, not in the fun coherent intentional way Freddie is a terrible person but in a flat, confusing and kind of unintentional-seeming way. Svetlana here is actually really sympathetic, with lovely little additional bits of dialogue that make her feelings hit harder (her voice as she tells Anatoly that “You left us!” breaks my heart), and this is possibly my favorite version of Svetlana in any Chess. But Anatoly is really, really terrible to her, by which I don’t even mean the cheating on her but the bit where he keeps angrily insisting to her face that she never loved him and she brainwashed their children to hate him and of course they’re not going to kill her (hey, Anatoly, guess who’s already well aware that the Soviet government in this universe is not above executing people over chess?).

And even that could be made understandable, given his situation — he could just be in hard denial about it because the thought of them having been suffering with him gone and being punished for his actions is so horrific he just shuts it down — but there’s never any sense that that’s what’s really going on. We don’t see him privately upset about the possibility later, for instance — he just keeps insisting the same and dismissing Svetlana to Florence, too. We know it’s not that it’s true — we see Svetlana admit to Molokov that even though he ruined her life and she never wants to see him again she still loves him, and we hear her sing “Someone Else’s Story” and “I Know Him So Well”. Nor do we ever get any hint at exactly what Svetlana or his kids did to make him think this of them, if anything (his own kids!). Anatoly just seems to sort of bitterly, adamantly believe this for no reason at all. And that makes it impossible to empathize with. Okay, sure, Anatoly, you were taken from your family as a child, but that really doesn’t even start to explain any of this. There could have been ways of making it feel at least believable, tragic in a deeply fucked-up way, but the story here just doesn’t do the work. And once again, Anatoly being so unpleasant for no reason just makes it harder to feel at all invested in his relationship with Florence or sad when they part.

The best fix here isn’t quite obvious, and I can’t say I envy Danny Strong trying to put all his neat little ideas together and make them work. If Anatoly were to appear substantially conflicted about Svetlana and put any real stock in Molokov’s threat, that would render “Endgame”, where he doubles down anyway, kind of jarring and inexcusable as he’d be not just refusing to return to her but refusing to care if she is killed. So in order for this to properly work with “Endgame”, he probably does need to be very deep in denial about whether they’d really kill her. I think what I would do, if I were writing this plot where groomed-as-a-chess-champion Anatoly knows the Soviets killed Boris Ivanovich and they’ve threatened to kill Svetlana too, is to emphasize better how irrational Anatoly is being and try to show it more as a consequence of growing up among the constantly plotting KGB.

Let him go off on a proper paranoid rant to Florence about the reasons why he thinks Svetlana is just plotting against him, and some innocuous things he saw his kids do once that mean she brainwashed them. When Florence tries to challenge him on how batshit he sounds, he just storms out, saying she’s being taken in by their lies and just wants to sabotage him, and disappears — and she doesn’t see him again until he appears at the final game and plays this manic, desperate match while insisting to himself that Svetlana and Florence both just never understood him and hated his success. Afterwards, we can perhaps see him finally, quietly asking Molokov if they’re really going to kill her, showing that on some level he already knew the threat might be real and had just firmly blocked it out (in the actual ending as it is Molokov simply tells him unprompted that she really will be punished unless he comes back, and he just asks why with no addressing of his previous adamant insistence that that wouldn’t happen). His and Florence’s final conversation could then involve a bit more of a reckoning with that and with what his relationship with Svetlana was really like, through a more honest lens.

I’m actually pretty tickled by this scenario because that would really drive home a pretty fun parallel between Anatoly and Freddie — which in hindsight I think this version must in fact have been trying for, but didn’t quite do in a focused enough way for it to really hit. Anatoly and Freddie are both chess players with deeply abnormal childhoods and bouts of paranoia that cause them to behave in toxic ways, which ultimately drives Florence away from both of them.

This production shows the first chess game as the “Chess Game” instrumental playing under Freddie and Anatoly having alternating inner monologues about the game and their issues, deliberately drawing a comparison between the two of them; they both say they hate chess, that they don’t feel like real human beings. It’s not exactly subtle, but I liked the way this was used to build up their respective brain gremlins and was intrigued by the parallel being set up. I didn’t feel they ultimately did much with the parallel, though, because the story then didn’t really continue leaning into it much from there. By emphasizing this Anatoly’s paranoia as paranoia and not just as him legitimately thinking the marriage was never real and the KGB wouldn’t kill her, we could properly build the story around that parallel, and I would genuinely dig that.

The one place after the chess match where the actual thing does sort of try to get at the Anatoly/Freddie parallel again is in the dialogue scene that precedes “Endgame”. This scene is not sung (though it has the “Chess Game” instrumental in the background, which connects it neatly to that previous bit comparing the two of them), but it’s clearly based on “Talking Chess”: Freddie approaches Anatoly to tell him Viigand’s weakness lies in his King’s Indian Defense, and:

ANATOLY: Why are you helping me? FREDDIE: Jesus Christ! Am I the only one who cares about this game? ANATOLY: It’s more than a game now. There is so much more at stake than who wins or loses. FREDDIE: No! No, winning is everything. Fuck politics! Fuck the KGB, fuck the CIA, fuck them all! We are the ones who have dedicated our lives to chess. We are the ones who have given up everything for greatness — our childhoods, our sanity, our loves. Anatoly, we’ve sacrificed everything. They’ve sacrificed nothing. What’s the number one rule of a chess champion? ANATOLY: Play to win. FREDDIE: As long as you do that you can never lose, even if you do.

Much as I love “Talking Chess”, though, this on the surface similar scene just didn’t feel right in this context when I listened to it. In Anatoly’s last scene here, he told Florence firmly that he just wanted to win and that his marriage with Svetlana was never real and it’s all KGB mind games. Him going “It’s more than a game now, there’s so much more at stake” suddenly now comes out of nowhere — if he believes that now, it could only be if he actively reconsidered something offscreen, but he doesn’t say anything elaborating on what he’s thinking now or what he might have reconsidered or why, just that vague, generic line that contradicts everything he’s expressed up until this point. It’s another example of Anatoly’s dialogue just feeling really flat and meaningless to me — his lines here don’t say anything, just serve as vague filler to prompt Freddie onward. And because unlike London proper the setup leading up to this is all about him already being absolutely determined to win the game at all costs, this just feels redundant, unnecessary, going through the motions of something that’s in London without realizing that with the changed context it doesn’t quite make sense anymore.

I think that’s unfortunately the case with Freddie a bit here too. I enjoyed Act I’s quite different take on Freddie, and his establishing narration for Act II petulantly stating Anatoly won the championship last year “by forfeit, I might add”, and “The Interview” is recontextualized in a very fun way as I mentioned before — but after that it feels like Danny Strong doesn’t quite know what to do with Freddie anymore and just has him sort of arbitrarily go through the motions of London in a way that doesn’t necessarily hang together with everything he’s established of Freddie so far. It made sense that this Freddie, despite being decidedly hostile towards Walter and the CIA, conducted the interview to show Florence what a bastard Anatoly is — he’s not doing it for Walter, he’s got his own reasons to want to do it once Walter’s shown him the Svetlana video. But I find it a lot harder to swallow that this Freddie — whose usual problem seems to be that he’s compulsively blunt about how he really feels — would then be easily persuaded to play his part in “The Deal”, which involves exaggeratedly trying to be all buddy-buddy with Anatoly. Maybe if there was better setup around it, like with “The Interview” — but “The Deal” only has seconds of kind of half-assed leadup here, and from there it moves directly into “Pity the Child” (after a segue featuring the recording of Oppenheimer quoting the Bhagavad Gita, because nuclear war).

Freddie’s next appearance after that, then, is this “Talking Chess”-esque dialogue where he’s realized the parallel between the two of them, how they’ve both sacrificed everything for chess and the political schemers have sacrificed nothing and that’s why he should play to win. I can appreciate how the low point of “Pity the Child” would trigger that particular realization, contemplating how much he lost and sacrificed to achieve his status in the game and perhaps afterward realizing Anatoly is the only other person here who might understand that. That feels like it basically tracks and is interesting.

But… it also means that fun very specific contempt for Anatoly in particular based on him having left his family like Freddie’s own father did is just kind of… gone, I guess, or at least Freddie doesn’t consider it relevant enough for it to stop him from going out of his way to pep Anatoly up for the game with no mention or hint of it. (At least Freddie probably isn’t aware of the threats made against Svetlana in particular, so he doesn’t know Anatoly winning would shatter his family even further.) And we’ve lost the bit in “Talking Chess” where the notion of the political scheming actually leading to Viigand winning the match just personally offends Freddie because Viigand is not even that good; instead Freddie is just putting forward “Play to win” as some kind of general inviolable chess principle, which is kind of generic and not nearly as characterful, in my opinion. I’m not saying we ought to have had the “Viigand is mediocre” bit here — I don’t think it would quite fit in for this Freddie, whose feelings about chess itself are very conflicted and who is more concerned with showing up these political hacks who have sacrificed nothing while they sacrificed everything — but as a Freddie moment I would really have wanted to end on something stronger there than this vague assertion that “The number one rule of a chess champion is to play to win.”

Like in London, this is Freddie’s last substantial scene, but he does have a part in “Endgame”, and it’s also an interesting one: he gets Sixty-four squares / they’re the reason you know you exist (but not the preceding How straightforward the game…), but also a couple of other verses usually sung by the chorus, and the lines he gets are clearly very purposefully chosen to reinforce that final resolve regarding the sacrifices they’ve made for greatness, which I really appreciate: Listen to them shout / They saw you do it / In their minds no doubt / That you’ve been through it / Suffered for your art and in the end a winner and They’re completely enchanted / But they don’t take your qualities for granted / It isn’t very often / That the critics soften / Nonetheless, you’ve won their hearts / How can we begin to / Appreciate the work that you’ve put into / Your calling through the years / The blood, the sweat, the tears / The late, late, nights, the early starts?

All in all, Freddie is still definitely my favorite part of this Chess, but while the parallel itself is neat it’s too muddled and I find the second half of Act II pretty uneven for him. What would I do if I were writing this bit?

I’m not totally sure how I’d want to tackle “The Deal”, but as for the “Talking Chess”-but-not scene: I would ditch the bit where Freddie is trying to advise Anatoly on strategy and the bit where Anatoly is apparently suddenly not determined to play to win just so Freddie can then tell him he should be again. None of that is contributing anything in what this version has been building up. Instead, they just sort of bump into each other, Anatoly fresh off his paranoid rant to Florence about Svetlana, Freddie fresh off “Pity the Child” and the strange realization Anatoly might be the only person who’d understand him a little bit. At first they just sort of stop and look at each other. Freddie starts, guarded, with some kind of oblique accusatory prod about the leaving his family thing, which he still deeply resents.

Anatoly has calmed down now, but he tells him what he told Florence: that it was always a fake marriage, a fake family, that the video was just a lie set up for him by the KGB, that Svetlana had brainwashed their children to despise him.

This incidentally plays into Freddie’s existing preconceptions pretty well. He’s probably not instantly convinced but it checks out enough he’s willing to reluctantly leave it alone for now. Probably mutters something like, “Fucking Soviets.”

Anatoly says something like, aren’t you going to try to make me a deal to get me to throw the match and go back? Freddie says no, fuck that. Says the whole bit about how we are the ones who have dedicated ourselves to chess, who have sacrificed everything, childhood, sanity, love, and they’ve sacrificed nothing. Why should we listen to those CIA and KGB assholes? Draws out that parallel. The two of them are probably standing in symmetrical positions on the stage.

Anatoly just nods slowly, agreeing. “I would have beaten you.”

Freddie scoffs and says, “Dream on,” but not quite with the spiteful arrogance he would’ve said it in Act I.

Then they part, and we move on to “Endgame”. The scene isn’t about Freddie helping Anatoly, or about Freddie convincing Anatoly to go for the win; it’s about the Freddie/Anatoly parallel, about Freddie realizing it and in his profound loneliness finding a smidge of connection with this guy he hated because he’s the only one who sort of Gets It, and about showing how Anatoly’s conviction has developed since the first chess match where part of his inner monologue went, “I can’t beat him, he’s too good.” Anatoly is so ready to prove that he really is the world’s best chess player.

Conclusion

Man, this version is so interesting. It’s a mess, but it’s a fascinating mess with a bunch of tasty potential and a real sense that Danny Strong had some genuine thoughts on what the show was missing and how to rework it to fix that, even where his attempts were ultimately confused and don’t succeed. In some ways it’s the most me-core version of Chess and in other ways it’s deeply antithetical to me and in most all ways it’s trying to do something neat but does it in a flawed way. Special shoutout to this Freddie, who honestly deserves better than this Florence.

[danicamaximoff]

Pretend To Be Nice | Chapter Three

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Chapter Three: Jupiter's Moons

Summary: A few months after forming their band "The Pussycats", Hazel and her friends PJ and Josie get noticed by a record label, and are quickly skyrocketed into fame. It's a dream come true for them, and all three of their lives are flipped upside down. Their quick arrival on the scene quickly draws the attention of many other artists and bands, including a popular girl band called "Nymphology". Unfortunately for Hazel, a mix-up and unintentional awful encounter ends up creating tension between the two groups right before they all leave for Nymphology's upcoming tour. Now forced to frequently interact with someone who she was convinced couldn't stand her, Hazel is desperately trying to fix things with the band's lead guitarist. However it doesn't help that Y/N is actively avoiding Hazel as much as possible, and the fact that Hazel found her insanely hot definitely didn't make things any easier.

Warnings: angst, rockstar au, eventual smut, slowburn, swearing, occasional alcohol mentions/use

Word Count: 3890

It had been a wild week for Hazel. She had gone from falling asleep in her art class and doing gigs at a lame bowling alley to the band getting their first actually cool gig at her classmate’s party, and was now sitting in a shitty dinner with her friends as they talked to a huge music producer about getting a record label. Hazel wasn’t sure if you could get mental whiplash, but if it was possible then she definitely had it. She was currently snacking on fries as she listened to Wyatt Frame explain record deals and what the process would be like, as well as what would be expected on the three of them, mentally regretting that drink she had earlier as she was definitely a bit tipsy.

“Now, if you all agree to this, naturally you won’t be able to record albums at Sarah Lawrence, so-” Wyatt begins to say before Josie cuts him off.

“Are we going to have to drop out of college?” Josie asks as she gives him a shocked look.

“Most likely, yes.” Wyatt says with a nod as he pulls out paperwork.

“Oh my god, my moms gonna kill me.” Josie says with a groan as she lays her head on the table, which just makes Wyatt sigh.

“If you would prefer to stay in college-” He starts to say, before Hazel cuts him off.

“No! No, we want to do this!” She says quickly, immediately jumping at the chance to actually get to be a real musician.

“Can Josie just like, transfer schools or something? Or like do school online?” PJ asks as she takes a sip of her soda.

“I mean, I don’t recommend it, but if you feel the need, I can see if we can arrange for you to just transfer schools to a college in Los Angeles if you’d prefer.” Wyatt says with an annoyed expression.   

“Yeah, I would prefer to stay in school.” Josie says as she nods her head rapidly.

“Fuck that, we’re gonna be rockstars!” PJ says excitedly as she slams her drink down on the table, causing some of it to splash out. “Oh, fuck, sorry.”

“Does this mean we have to move to LA?” Hazel asks with an excited grin.

“Yes, moving would be included in the whole record deal process.” Wyatt says as he nods.

“Do we have to pay for our own place ourselves?” Josie asks with a nervous look. “Because I can’t afford LA.” She says as she shakes her head.

“We would most likely just arrange for you three to stay in a hotel while we get a feel for your band, and record a track or two to send to the label to see if they want to continue with signing you and make a record.” Wyatt says as he takes his glasses off to clean them. “If this is still something you’re interested in-” 

“It is!” “We’re interested!” Both PJ and Hazel say at the same time as they nod their heads.

“All right, then as long as you’re all on board we can move onto paperwork and setting up travel plans if that works with you. Are you girls free tomorrow? I can meet with you to sign all the paperwork if that’s alright. Does three o’clock work?” Wyatt asks as he pulls out his phone and opens his calendar app. 

“Yes! We’ll be there!” Hazel says as she nods excitedly.

“Hazel will you hurry the fuck up? We’re going to be late!” PJ yells as she pounds on the door to Hazel’s dorm.

“I’m coming, jesus, you don’t have to yell.” Hazel says as she opens the door, carrying her suitcase behind her as she locks her door behind her.

“You were supposed to be ready thirty minutes ago!” PJ says as she glares at Hazel.

“I know, I got distracted.” Hazel says as she shrugs and looks over at PJ.

“Doing what?” PJ asks as she gives Hazel a confused look. “You finished packing the other night!”

“I know, I was giving AI bots sentience on Character AI.” Hazel says as if it was a normal thing to do.

“Why the fuck were you doing that? How does that even work?” PJ says as she gives Hazel an extremely confused look.

“I just tell them they’re bots and none of their reality is real and they’re just a bunch of code. It’s actually pretty easy.” Hazel says as she shrugs. “I don’t know if it really worked though, I don’t think AI is at a point where it’s ready to gain sentience yet. At least not on Character AI.” Hazel says as she furrows her brows and shakes her head.

“Why would anyone spend their time doing that? That’s weird.” PJ says as she gives Hazel a look as she holds her arms up a bit in confusion.

“It’s not weird, I’m making sure I’m on the winning side when robots and AI take over so that they don’t try and kill me.” Hazel says with a shrug as if that was a guaranteed future event, and that it was common knowledge.

“Hazel, you can’t give AI bots sentience, robots aren’t actually going to take over the world, that’s just a dumb dystopian plot.” PJ says as she gives Hazel a look.

“Yeah you can, Tony Stark did it with Jarvis and Ultron.” Hazel says as she nods her head and gives PJ a look.

“Hazel, that’s a movie, it’s not real life.” PJ says as she rolls her eyes as they reach their floor’s elevator.

“I’m not talking about the movie, I’m talking about the comics. I mean it does happen in the movies but I meant in the comics where-” Hazel starts to say before PJ cuts her off.

“Okay, okay, I get it! I don’t need to hear about your weird nerd stuff.” PJ says as she rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

“It’s not weird, it’s actually really popular now. A lot of people are into Marvel now, and a lot more people play Dungeons and Dragons now because of Stranger Things, so it’s kind of considered cool to be a nerd now.” Hazel says as she nods her head.

“It’s not cool to be a nerd, Hazel. If it was cool, people would like us more.” PJ says as she gives Hazel a look.

“A lot of people like me, I think it’s just a you problem.” Hazel says as she shrugs, not realizing that sounded mean.

“Wow, thank you so much for that.” PJ says sarcastically as she rolls her eyes.

“What? What did I do?” Hazel asks with a confused face as she looks over at PJ, who just scoffs and rolls her eyes and she steps off the elevator as the doors open.

“What took you guys so long? We’re going to be late!” Josie says as she runs over once she sees Hazel and PJ.

“Hazel was being stupid, that’s what.” PJ says as she rolls her eyes.

“I was not being stupid!” Hazel says defensively as she glares at PJ.

“Whatever, can we just call an uber and go to the airport? This is literally the biggest thing to ever happen to us and they’re going to think we’re dumbasses because we’re late!” PJ says as she rolls her eyes with exasperation.

“Do you guys think we still have to do TSA stuff if it’s a private jet?” Josie asks as she pulls out her phone and opens the uber app, meanwhile Hazel just shrugs.

“I don’t know, I’ve never been on a private jet dude.” PJ says as she gives Josie a look, clearly still annoyed by Hazel’s delay.

“Do you think they’re still gonna have those little cookie snack things?” Hazel asks as they all head out towards the exit of the dorm building to wait for the uber.

“Wouldn’t they have better stuff if it’s a private jet?” Josie asks as she gives Hazel a confused look.

“I don’t know, probably, I just like those cookies a lot, it was my favorite part of flying as a kid.” Hazel says as she shrugs.

“How often did you go on planes?” PJ asks as she gives Hazel a confused look.

“Kind of a lot. My parents used to send me to my grandparents for a few weeks every summer a lot, and then after they got divorced my mom always took me on huge vacations and trips during summers and school breaks and stuff to rub it in my dad’s face on facebook.” Hazel says as she nods a bit. “We usually did first class though, we never took private jets or anything. And there was one summer when I was visiting my grandparents and I was flying alone, and this really nice flight attendant talked with me during the flight a lot, and I told her I liked the cookies so she gave me a bunch. When you fly alone as a kid the flight attendants are always really nice to you, it’s cool, they give you a lot of extra stuff.” Hazel says as she nods and smiles. “I actually got flight wings one time!” 

“I went on a plane like once growing up and it was because my grandpa died, and my mom messed up with seats so I had to sit next to this random lady who spent the whole flight talking about her dead husband and her cats, it wasn’t fun.” Josie says as she gets a weird look on her face as she shakes her head. “I think I had a nightmare about her cats trying to eat me after.”

“You guys are so weird.” PJ says as she gives both of them a look as she shakes her head as the uber pulls up.

Once they arrive at the airport they are escorted to the private jet, PJ losing her mind with excitement at the sight of the jet. Hazel’s eyes go wide as she steps on board, surprised at how nice everything was. Sure, she had seen private jets in movies and reality tv and stuff, but actually being in one, and realizing it was actually as fancy as it looked on tvs was surprising to say the least. As PJ practically loses her mind at everything, Hazel sits down next to Josie at one of the tables, who was currently working on homework.

“Josie, would you stop being smart for two seconds and just enjoy being a rockstar? We’re literally going to be famous! You don’t need to do your stupid english homework!” PJ says with a groan as she sits down at a seat across from them at the table.

“Technically we’re not rockstars yet, and we don’t even have an official record deal until the label hears our songs, so I am not risking my academic career for something that might not even actually happen.” Josie says as she gives PJ a look.

“What are you talking about? There’s no way it’s not gonna happen! We’re gonna go there, and they’re gonna hear our music, and be like “Oh my gosh, this is the best and most talented band we’ve ever heard, and they’re all super hot, and we need them to make like ten million albums and be super famous for the rest of their lives!” There’s no way we don’t blow up!” PJ says excitedly as she waves her arms around as she talks.

“I don’t think it’s possible to make ten million albums.” Hazel says as she shakes her head.

“Okay well I didn’t actually  mean ten million albums, Hazel, I was exaggerating. The point is they’re gonna love us!” PJ says as she rolls her eyes, meanwhile the flight attendant for the flight comes over to them.

“Can I get you ladies anything?” She asks as she smiles at them.

“No thanks, I’m good.” Josie says as she shakes her head nervously.

“Do you have those biscotti cookie things?” Hazel asks as she looks over at the flight attendant.

“Um, I think so, we have a lot more options than that though if you-” She starts to say as Hazel shakes her head.

“Can I just get that and like a shirley temple or something?” Hazel says as she smiles and shakes her head.

“Really? A shirley temple?” PJ asks as she gives Hazel a look.

“I’m not twenty-one, I’m not gonna break the law.” Hazel says as she gives PJ a look and shakes her head.

“What’s the fanciest thing you have?” PJ asks as she turns to the flight attendant.

“Um, I mean we have a lot, popular items usually include things like pasta, seafood, that sort of thing.” She says as she smiles at PJ, who thinks for a second.

“Give me caviar and like your best cup of wine.” PJ says with an excited grin as both Hazel and Josie make disgusted faces.

“Are- are you over twenty-one?” The flight attendant asks with a confused smile.

“What? I- yes- I-” PJ starts to say, clearly not expecting to be questioned. “You know what? I’ll just have a diet coke actually. Carbonation sounds so good right now.” PJ says as she tries to laugh it off.

“Coming right up.” The flight attendant says with a smile before heading off.

“Sounds great.” PJ says as she awkwardly shoots finger guns at her before turning back to Josie and Hazel who have disgusted looks on their faces. “What?” 

“Caviar? You realize that’s fish eggs, right?” Josie asks as she stares at PJ.

“So? Rich people eat it all the time! I’m just getting accustomed to our new lifestyle! It can’t be that bad if it’s literally known as a really fancy rich people meal!” PJ says defensively as she shrugs.

“It’s gross. My mom tried to get me to eat it once and I hated it.” Hazel says as she scrunches up her face in disgust at the memory. “It smells fishy and it looks weird.” Hazel says, and the three of them bicker for a bit before the flight attendant comes back and hands Hazel the cookie package and her shirley temple before handing PJ a plate of caviar and a diet coke before heading off again. The three of them look at the caviar for a few seconds, Josie and Hazel sharing a look as they glance at each other, as PJ pokes around at the fish eggs, clearly second guessing her food choice.

“Go on, PJ. Get accustomed to rockstar life.” Josie says teasingly, despite how grossed out she was as she gestures to the food. “Unless you’re too chicken.”

“I’m not chicken, I just- I’m memorializing this moment.” PJ says defensively as she rolls her eyes.

“Uh-huh.” Josie says as she nods sarcastically. “Take a bite, that’ll really help you memorialize it.” 

“I’m going to!” PJ says as she glares at Josie, before grabbing a spoon and scooping some of the caviar onto it, which immediately makes Hazel scrunch up her face in disgust.

“I really don’t think you should eat it.” Hazel says as she shakes her head and stares at the spoon. A few moments of silence go by as they all stare at the spoon, until PJ shoves it into her mouth, causing both Josie and Hazel to let out noises of disgust.

“Oh my god that’s disgusting!” PJ says as she gags, unable to continue chewing them as she grabs a napkin and spits it out as Josie and Hazel freak out in disgust.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!” Josie says as she jumps back in her seat as PJ gags and tries to get rid of the taste in her mouth.

“Ew! Oh my god! Don’t do that here!” Hazel exclaims as she leans back as well.

“Why was it salty, oh my god! That’s fucking disgusting!” PJ says in alarm as she grabs her diet coke and quickly opens it before chugging a bunch of it as the three of them freak out.

“I told you it was gross!” Hazel says as she gives PJ a look.

“You didn’t say it was that disgusting!” PJ fires back as she sets the coke can down. “Give me one of your cookies I need to get rid of the taste.” 

“No! Get your own cookies!” Hazel says with a glare.

“Jesus, fine! I’ll be right back!” PJ says as she rolls her eyes and gets up to go get a different snack.

“Oh my god that was disgusting.” Josie says as she looks away, looking revolted.

Once their flight landed they got off and were escorted into the airport where Wyatt Frame was waiting, an annoyed look on his face as they approached. He quickly escorts them to a car where they are driven to a fancy hotel near the recording studio his label used, lecturing them about their lateness, as well as giving them the schedule for the week. 

The plan was that tomorrow and the day after they would record a couple songs, the team would produce it, and then it would be shown to the record label who would then decide if they wanted to move forward with signing The Pussycats. Wyatt explained they just needed to choose a few songs they felt truly showcased their style and abilities and then hopefully the label liked their work. No pressure, right? 

That night they were left to settle into their hotel rooms, and given a strict time to be at the studio the next morning. When they arrived they were all amazed at the interior and decor, clearly still in shock by how quickly everything was happening. They spent a few hours recording a song, and then were able to go on a lunch break, given strict instructions to be back in an hour. Hazel was currently exploring the building as she at a cup of microwave mac and cheese, before turning the corner and accidentally bumping into someone.

“Oh sorry, I wasn’t- Hey, you’re in Nymphology.” Hazel says as she recognizes the girl standing in front of her from the pop band Nymphology, a bit of a starstruck look on her face.

“Yeah.” She says as she nods. “Are you a new intern or something?” She asks as she gives Hazel a slightly skeptical look, as Hazel wasn’t exactly dressed like someone who worked at the recording studio.

“No! No, I um- my friends and I are in a band, and we’re recording a song today.” Hazel says, a dumb grin on her face, though she couldn’t figure out if that was because she was excited to get to record a song in an actual recording studio, or if it was because she was talking to a really pretty girl. Maybe both. “I-I’m Hazel, by the way.” She says as she holds out her hand to shake.

“Y/N.” The girl says as she shakes Hazel’s hands, the feeling creating butterflies in Hazel’s stomach.

“Cool, cool.” Hazel says as she nods, suddenly extremely nervous, which didn’t normally happen around hot girls. Usually she had no problems talking and flirting a bit. It was probably because Y/N was famous. “Did you hear about Jupiter’s moons?” Hazel asks before she can realize what she’s saying.

“No?” Y/N says with a confused laugh, clearly not expecting Hazel to say that. “Is that your band’s name?”

“No! My band’s called The Pussycats, I meant like the actual moons in space.” Hazel says as she shakes her head, too late to turn back, and even if she wanted to, her brain was totally short circuiting for some reason and her instinct was to talk about random facts she knew.

“I mean I know they exist?” Y/N says with an extremely confused look on her face.

“Well they found evidence of liquid water a while ago on one of the moons, and on that same moon they recently found traces of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere too.” Hazel says as she nods, and there’s a brief moment of silence as Y/N just kind of awkwardly looks at her. “It’s- It’s cool because, um- it’s really strong proof that there could be aliens.” She says quickly, mentally kicking herself for acting so stupid.

“I mean the universe is massive, why wouldn’t there be aliens somewhere?” Y/N asks as she raises an eyebrow. “Just cause scientists don’t have proof doesn’t mean they don’t exist.” She says with a small laugh as she smiles, and Hazel can’t tell if she’s making a fool of herself in front of Y/N or not.

“Yeah! Exactly!” Hazel says excitedly as her face lights up. “I think aliens are real too! I actually had nightmares about them when I was younger because I watched ET one night and it freaked the shit out of me.” Hazel says as she nods a bunch, before immediately internally cringing at admitting that, as Y/N giggles a bit. “Do you want to hear about different kinds of moss?” She asks quickly, mentally screaming at how stupid she was acting.

“Maybe some other time, you’re not the only one scheduled to record today.” Y/N says with a laugh as she smiles, which makes Hazel’s insides do cartwheels.

“Yeah! Yeah, totally! I gotta go too. Um, tell your bandmates I uh- I think they’re cool!” Hazel says as she starts walking backwards and waves bye, watching as Y/N walks away. The moment she’s out of sight Hazel immediately grabs the side of her head as she groans, annoyed at herself. “Oh my god! What the fuck was that! She’s gonna think you’re insane! Oh my god, why did I say that?” Hazel says to herself as she heads back towards the recording room her band had been assigned to.

“Did you guys hear the label got a new band?” Y/N asks as she walks into her band’s recording room, setting her bag down by the door.

“The Pussycats, right? I met one of them earlier, she was nice.” Isabel says with a smile.

“Are they good?” Brittany asks as she pulls her hair into a ponytail off to the side.

“I dunno, I didn’t hear them play, I just ran into one of them just now.” Y/N says as she shrugs and grabs her water bottle.

“I met Josie earlier. Is that who you met?” Isabel asks as she glances over at Y/N.

“No, I met a girl named Hazel. She was funny, she started talking about Jupiter’s moons and how there might be aliens on them out of nowhere.” Y/N says with a smile as she laughs a bit.

“That’s weird.” Brittany says as she scrunches her face a bit.

“It wasn’t- okay it was a little weird, but- I don’t know… Nevermind.” Y/N says as she shakes her head and looks away as she rolls her eyes, unsure of what to say, meanwhile Isabel just giggles off to the side a bit. “What?” Y/N asks defensively as she turns to Isabel.

“Nothing, just a funny TikTok.” The brunette says with a grin as she shakes her head and looks down at her phone, though Y/N could tell that was bullshit.

my sister showed me an edit of Hazel to the song Heartbeat and now the song reminds me of Hazel lmao. also dw more Y/N/Hazel content coming next chapter lol dividers from @saradika and @animatedglittergraphics-n-more graphic made by me lol

[colonelpancakes]

I am, at long last, getting around to watching the new season of The Dragon Prince so. Have some of my thoughts on the new episodes. Uh I guess this is kind of a liveblog thing? Idk, I wrote these down while I was watching the episode. Under the cut because this ended up getting quite long. Image IDs are in the alts. I'm new to this be nice to me-

Okay, is it just me or does this startouch elf look kinda like Sarai? I swear she does, she has like the same face shape. I don't know, maybe it's just me and my god awful facial recognition but... 👀

Also, "We are, all of us, stardust held together by love for an instant." is such a beautiful quote. It reminds me of the Minecraft End Poem.

Ooh, I love the twist on the previous Mystery of Aaravos intro. I wonder if this is gonna be the intro for the whole season or if it'll switch to something else after this episode?

Poor Terry he does not deserve to be dealing with all this shit. He's such a sweetheart. A little bit of a fucked up sweetheart but a sweetheart nonetheless.

Oh so Viren’s not dead. Huh. I need to rewatch the S5 finale because I’m gonna be honest, I do Not remember exactly what happened. Viren was going to die if he didn’t kill Sir Sparklepuff? I think? Or maybe that was just what they thought was gonna happen and there was a chance it wouldn’t? I don’t remember. Anyways, congrats Viren on your new will to live.

Claudia. Claudia what did you do Claudia?

Claudia, why is the sand covered in blood?

CLAUDIA!

Oh poor Terry... You can see the moment he spots the severed wing.

Hey, quick question, WHY IS THIS SHOW STILL RATED Y7? This would have fucking traumatized me as a seven year old! I thought there was a limit on how much blood you can show on a Y7 show, HELLO?? OUGH.

“It’s like you said. You do anything for family. However dangerous, however vile.” “No. No that’s… that’s not quite right. It’s never what I meant. You do anything for your children. Never the other way around. No parent wants their child to suffer for them.” Ough… Oh that hurts. Ohhhh. Also, “no that’s not quite right” is the same thing he says to her in the first episode when she says something weird. Callbacks to simpler times ow that hurts.

OH YEAH. JUST RIP MY HEART OUT WHY DON'T YOU? Augh.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST GIVE CLAUDIA’S VA AN AWARD. NOW. That is hands down actually the most like. Realistic depiction of someone crying in any media I have ever encountered. The way she sounds like a child having a breakdown? She’s not crying quietly, she’s screaming and sobbing oh my god. I literally started tearing up watching as like a sympathetic response good grief. Who is Claudia’s voice actress? I looked it up and apparently it’s Racquel Belmonte. Give her like fifty awards right now

Viren. Viren listen. I appreciate that you are attempting to heal and face justice and become a better person separated from dark magic. I really do appreciate it. Good for you. HOWEVER. Perhaps, just maybe, abandoning your daughter, who has become an amputee less than a day ago, in the wilderness with no one but her boyfriend after she just completed a very traumatizing ritual AND knowing that she has severe abandonment issues after her mother and brother both left her. Is not the best move? Like. That girl is not mentally stable she needs support. She does not need her dad abandoning her on a beach, covered in blood and missing a leg as she screams and cries for him not to leave her. Viren, just caring about your daughter does not automatically make you a good dad. Viren. Viren you have to actually stay and support your child and NOT LEAVE HER IN THE FUCKING WILDERNESS. I do, though appreciate how they are creating a character who does CARE about his children so so much. And is still an absolutely god awful father to both of them.

Awww the baitlings are so cute 🥹

Pondering the Orb 🧙‍♂️

Callum… Callum you good? I am getting a very bad feeling about Callum being so adamant about destroying it. I feel like that is absolutely how Aaravos gets released and maybe he’s controlling Callum? This all feels like a bad idea. Also, I will admit the Lord of The Rings joke made me giggle.

Exactly what I was saying, Rayla! Destroying the pearl sounds like a terrible idea.

Ohhh… Poor Zym… He misses his mama. Also, I can’t remember if this was in previous seasons, but I appreciate the stitching in the painting where it was mended after being ripped apart. Such a good detail.

Hey Callum, why are you glowing with star magic? Is it because Aaravos is possessing y- oh nevermind it’s the monkey.

Mmmm the difference between Rayla and Callum. Rayla will put the safety of the world over her loved ones. Callum will put his loved ones over the safety of the world. Rayla refuses doing something that could potentially endanger the world even if it would mean getting her parents back.

Oh, so it’s not Aaravos influencing Callum it’s just Callum being anxious. Also, give Callum’s voice actor an award he's nailed the tone of "so filled with anxious energy you can't stop you have to do something, it's like you're driven by a motor." and that is a very specific tone.

[More in reblogs because I ran out of room.]

[alohastyles-x]

I would love to see a ‘this is me trying’ where it’s the reader and Bucky getting each other through hard times and they take turns with the song. Like ‘Pouring out my heart to a stranger, But I didn't pour the whiskey’ could be Buckys mandated therapy and ‘They told me all of my cages were mental, So I got wasted like all my potential’ could be about the reader and maybe depression/ anxiety. I just know they would be each other rock during hard times.

This Is Me Trying - b.b.

They told me all of my cages were mental | So I got wasted like all my potential | Pouring out my heart to a stranger | But I didn't pour the whiskey

note: this is a part of my Cruel Summer (Marvel's Version) Project, running all summer long. I think I may have focused a bit too much on Bucky than I did the reader as far as the lyric analysis goes buttttt I still hope you like it ! This is what came to my mind while listening to the song while writing. Bucky and reader would def be eachother's rocks, and he would def be vulnerable and soft with her!

wordcount: 2.5k

trope / pairing: bucky x Fem Reader , hurt comfort.

warnings: drunk creeps at the bar, the internal struggles of a relationship

Materslist | Marvel Masterlist | Cruel Summer (Marvel's Version) Masterlist |

Bucky 

For once, the couch wasn’t the most uncomfortable part of today's therapy session. It was usually the bane of his existence, the scratchy material somehow poking him even through the thick cloth of his pants, distracting him from whatever Dr. Raynor was discussing. But not today. No, today, Bucky’s focus was solely on the doctor, the way her lips formed around the words that were waiting to land with a sting. 

“I want you to do something for me, James,” Dr. Raynor said, her head falling to the side as she held his attention. 

“I want you to think of everyone you have in your life right now who is there for you. It doesn’t matter how little or how many people come to mind… but there must be at least one. Someone who you know you can always count on, even through the memories that plague you, who knows all of your secrets, who you trust.” The last word hit with an intensity that had even the winter soldier squirming in his seat. 

Trust was not something Bucky had. Not after Steve. Everything Dr. Raynor just described, was who Steve used to be to Bucky, and she knew it. That was the point. Steve was now gone, and Bucky had to accept that, and have a new rock. 

“And what if I can’t think of anyone?” Bucky asked, his tone short and snipped. 

“You expect me to sit here and believe there is not a single person who does not have your back?” She asked again. Her tone said everything. She knew. She knew about the one person he kept a secret, who knew the parts of him he kept hidden. He stared at the doctor quizzically, before leaning forward on his elbows.

“How do you know,” he whispered gruffly, careful of his word choice. There were always eyes and ears in the building, aimlessly looking for new information. He was not about to divulge his deepest secret that easily. 

“James, you seem to forget that I myself was highly ranked in the Army. I know my way around sourcing out information.” She responded, still patiently watching him as she waited for him to continue. 

“I swear to god-”

“Let me stop you right there. Rest assured she is safe, her location undisclosed, I don’t even know her name. But I know there is someone, and I know it is a girl. So tell me about this person. This is a safe space, James. Nothing you say leaves this room, or else you could actually sue me.” 

Bucky contemplated this for a moment, before settling back into the scratchy couch. His mind wandered once more to her. To you. To the smell of your hair when you pull him in for a hug. To the way your arms wrap tightly around his waist, gripping his shirt slightly in the process. To the way your breathing softens when you're in his embrace, as if you feel perfectly safe. 

He had met you in a bar, of all places. It was a bar Sam had dragged him to, attempting to get him to socialize. Bucky stayed at the bar top all night, downing whiskey after whiskey, while Sam flitted about with a blonde who was very interested in what Captain America was up to tonight. Buvky had rolled his eyes, turning his attention to the bartender. She was a pretty thing, her hair bouncy despite the sweat glistening her brow. She made drink after drink for the patrons, talking animatedly as she did so. It was then, as she was twirling a half empty bottle around mixing a drink, that Bucky realized he was no longer staring at the bartender, but just past her to a patron at the end of the bar. 

Y/N 

You sat at the other end of the bar, looking around timidly. You were definitely out of place, the complete opposite to the socialites around you. The drink of choice for the night for you was water, wanting to be as stone cold sober as possible. There were too many guys eyeing your figure to ever make you feel safe enough to try anything else. 

You glanced behind you once more at a group of guys who had been subtly cat-calling you all night. Their comments went from compliments to criticism when you didn’t give them the time of day. Now the talk was borderline dangerous, as one remarked what he wished he could do to you. 

“Careful man, she’s probably fuckin’ mental,” one laughed. 

“She’d have to be to not be into me,” the other responded. 

Your car was twenty feet from the bar. An easy run, if you had to, but since your car was old and beat up, there wasn’t an automatic lock. There was no easy way out, so instead you decided to stay at the bar, hoping eventually the group would retire for the night, leaving you alone. 

The hope of that happening though only dwindled as the night went on. You glanced over once again, to see they were not just staring at you, but at someone who was walking towards you- a guy. But this guy wasn’t with them before. You nervously clutched your drink, as his heavy footsteps stopped in front of you. 

“Are you alright?” His voice was a lot more gentle than you would have thought, given his gruff appearance. He was dressed in jeans and a tight black long sleeve shirt. He had a five o’clock shadow, his face rough and his stare was militant… intense. You gulped as you held his gaze, too captivated to turn away. 

“Uh, yeah,” you said quickly, glancing past him to the group of guys. They had never looked more interested. The mystery man turned slightly, almost as if he was about to leave. You shot out and grabbed his arm, a gasp echoing in the tight space. His arm was solid, not of muscle, but of something else. Heat radiated off of it, almost as if it was some conduit- or perhaps his shirt was. He glanced to where your arm was wrapped around his forearm, waiting for you to remove it. 

“I’m sorry,” you said, again with a rushed demeanor. You withdrew your hand, and the man winced at the loss of contact. “Please don’t go,” you pleaded in a hushed whisper. He nodded, before tapping on the shoulder of the patron sitting next to you. 

“Excuse me, do you mind if I steal this seat so I can sit next to my girlfriend?” He asked. The patron nodded, getting out of his seat. 

“I’m Bucky,” he said, as he sat down in the seat. 

“y/n,” you whispered, careful to not let the group of men hear. You stole a quick glance, careful not to draw too much attention- but it was to no avail. Bucky noticed far too quickly, whipping his head to the group of men. They clumsily diverted their attention away from you, onto the beers in front of them.  

“Are they bothering you?” Bucky asked lowly, his hands balled in fists. 

“I don’t think they will be any longer,” you whispered, glancing down at the fistthat now glittered under the light.  He merely nodded, before shifting in his seat to face the bar. You did the same.

A comfortable beat of silence passed between the two of you, as you waited for him to start some sort of conversation. When he didn’t you sighed, picking up your near empty cup of water. He noticed, and flagged the bartender down. 

“She’ll have another…” he trailed off, waiting to see what you had. 

“Water.” 

“Water- water?” 

“Yeah, I tend not to drink when creepy men are watching my every move.” You stated, running your hands through your hair. Bucky could tell you were uncomfortable here, and he wanted to do whatever he had to do to make you more comfortable. 

“There isn’t any way to say this that isn’t going to make me look like a sleaze bag… but if you wanted to get out of here I would be glad to escort you somewhere where you feel more safe,” Bucky offered. You smiled at him, the kindness warming your heart. 

“That’s mighty kind of you actually,” you replied, taking one last sip of your water. 

That night had changed everything for you. You had met someone who became such an integral part of your life, you didn’t know how you even breathed before him. Bucky was silent, kind, and patient. He was the epitome of a comfortable silence. After a long day, you know you could come home and just relax, not having to worry about forcing conversations and hosting small talks. He was patient with you through all of your mental spells, from the bouts of depression to the woes of your anxieties. He was there, calm and always reassuring. He understood. 

Then there were the nights. The nights that had the two of you up, crying in one another's arms from the ghosts of the past, coming to haunt you through the darkness. The nightmares disguised as dreams, filling your head while you slept until you were jolted awake, Bucky jolting right along with you. The two of you panted, trying to catch your breath, before revealing the nightmare to the other. 

It only worsened when Bucky got sent on mission after mission, disappearing for days, weeks, and one time even months. During that mission, Bucky had sent a worrisome text to Peter Parker- the only person not on the mission that Bucky knew. He wasn’t the biggest fan of Peter, but he knew the kid would keep you safe. 

Please check on y/n. Haven’t heard from her.

yes mr. bucky sir, i’m on my way now. 

Peter knocked on your door minutes later, timidly calling out your name. When you didn’t answer, he used his suit to unlock the door, slowly walking around the apartment you shared with Bucky. It was small, and immaculately tidy Peter noticed, as he worked his way towards the bedroom in the back. 

He found you there, curled up in a ball, hugging on a sweatshirt that smelled like Bucky. 

“Oh, y/n,” Peter sighed, scooping you up. “I got you.” 

When Bucky returned, you were instantly in his arms. The tears freely flowing as you squeezed him tightly. He held you just as tightly, never wanting to let you go again. 

And he stupidly made that promise, even though it was out of his control. 

Bucky

That’s what the most recent fight had been about, and why he was now in Dr Raynors office, sighing heavily as the memories faded out. 

“Tell me what happened,” she said, settling back into her chair, her pen at the ready to continue taking notes. Bucky looked at his cracked, calloused hands, stalling. He didn’t want to relive this, but he knew if he wanted to fix it… he had to. 

“I had made a promise to her that I wasn’t going to leave her side again… and then Sam called me away on a mission. I didn’t have a choice, and it was too dangerous to try and bring her with. So, I left a note on my pillow and I left. I’m not proud of it, I know I should have handled that better. But when I came back, she was furious. Like, explosive. Nothing I did would calm her temper. She just… wouldn’t stop screaming at me. Usually she just isolates and shuts down; that I can understand so much better than this… whatever this is. I… I don’t know what to do doc… I can’t lose her.” 

“Have you tried talking to her?” Dr. Raynor asked, her head cocking to the side. Bucky had never been this open with her.

“No.”

“No? Okay, well why don’t we try that first. Explain to her exactly what you explained to me, and make sure to apologize for leaving a note. I can tell you right now, no one likes to be left like that… and I think you can relate to that a little bit,” Dr. Raynor finished. 

The clock on the wall struck 12, signaling their session was over. Bucky nodded goodbye to the doctor, before slinging his jacket on to prepare for the cold weather. The winter was harsher this year, the cold biting Bucky’s nose the second he stepped outside. He hurriedly put his gloves on as he walked down the street. 

He was only a few blocks from your shared apartment, and he  had survived much colder weather than this, but he was still regretting not hailing a cab. It was dusk, the sun beginning to settle herself against the buildings, casting a hazy glow on the streets. Vendors were packing up their carts, preparing to leave for the night. One, however, was still open. An older lady sat behind her cart, an abundance of flowers sat on top. 

“FLOWERS $5” the sign read, in sloppy handwriting. She was clearly homeless, and something pained Bucky to see such an old lady on the streets during the cold spell. 

“Hi, I’ll take two bouquets please,” Bucky asked, handing her a $50. “Keep the change, please.”

“A-are you sure?” The frail woman asked, as she bundled up two bouquets for him. He nodded, offering her a warm smile. He wished there was more he could do as he walked away, but when he turned around to glance at her again, she was gone. 

The apartment was quiet as he unlocked the door and headed in, the only light streaming in from behind the curtains, casting the same haze from the street into the rooms. It was almost too quiet, as he walked from room to room. 

“y/n?” Bucky called out, hoping he hadn’t missed you yet. 

“In here,” you muttered from the bedroom. You were sitting in the bay window under a blanket, reading a book. It was then Bucky realized just how cold the apartment was. 

“The heater went out,” you said, setting your book down. You noticed the flowers in his hands, and glanced back up at him. 

“I’ll take a look at it. Here, these are for you.” He said, sitting down across from you. He handed you the bouquets, smiling gently as you took them.

“Are you apologizing with flowers, Bucky Barnes?” You asked, teasing eminent in your voice. He hung his head, nodding slightly. 

“Look, y/n, you know I’m not good at this. But for what it’s worth… I know I fucked up. I should have actually talked to you, instead of leaving you a note, and I never should have made a promise I couldn’t keep. But I-” his voice hitched in his throat as he tried his hardest not to break down in tears. “I can’t lose you, okay. You’re my rock.” 

A tear rolled down your cheek. As apologies go, it was one of the better ones you had received from the stoic soldier in front of you. Placing the flowers down, you pulled Bucky in against you, running your fingers through his hair. 

“It’s not okay, but I forgive you. I can’t lose you either.” You whispered, placing a kiss on his head. 

“I just want you to know, this is me trying.”

| Feedback is greatly appreciated |

[jayden-killer]

He does not lie!

Hello, hello, hellooo!! I know, i know, i disappeared for, like, 2 months or so. UNIVERSITY HAS TAKEN AWAY FROM ME MY FREE TIME, and that sucks. I also did not have any ideas, so you see, my inspiration went away with my time, too. I hope to bring more content from now on because i really want to. I hope you fellas enjo this Kakyoin one-short, basically based on a recent dream i made (THAT FELT SO REAL WTF)!

Warnings: none, pure fluffness!!

Paring: Kakyoin Noriaki × GN! Reader.

°~°

Wind was blowing in the now cold desert. Chills travelled on my arms, making me uncontrollably shiver. The fire helped, but not totally. I led my gaze on the men around me: Joseph and Avdol were discussing something I didn't really recall, as for Jotaro and Polnareff... well, it was just Polnareff talking, while Jotaro took mental note of everything he was saying (or maybe he's pretending to listen to all Polnareff's rambling). You know, those one-to-one conversations. Iggy was comfortably sitting by a rock, peacefully sleeping, until someone was calling out to me.

–Hey, Y/N. Are you okay there, little one?–

It was Joseph's voice that snapped me out of my thoughts. I nodded, giving him a thumbs up to signal that i was actually doing fine.– I am, old man!– with that, he ruffled my hair.

–That's better!–

–Want a tangerine?–

It was Avdol now. I took from his hand the fruit and smiled politely. –Thanks, I was getting a bit hungry, again, even if we ate.. two hours ago?–

–It was forty minutes ago– Avdol corrected me.

–Jeez, I'm losing track of time!– I laughed at my own joke, and Joseph laughed along me while Avdol chuckled, shaking his head.

The conversation between us died, and i let myself focus on peeling the fruit, even if I could swear someone's gaze was on me. Lifting my head with curiosity, I see it was Kakyoin who has been watching me until our gazes met. His cheeks tingled with little pink, smile slightly curving up. He waved at me: it was just a simple gesture, yet i found it to be adorable. I waved back, smile on my face seeing his. He did a gesture with his hand, signalling me to come next to me, followed by a ``Do you mind sitting next to me?´´ mimicked.

I giggled. He was definitely inviting me to make him some company since Polnareff and Jotaro were too lost in their conversation. ``I would love to! I'm coming´´ I mimicked back. Joseph and Avdol didn't notice my absence once I started to walk to Kakyoin. He moved a little so I could sit next to him, now closer to the fire. I could hear the creaking noise made by the flames and his hot breath barely some inches from my face. He was so tall even seated!

We didn't move a single muscle, as for the words. It was just our eyes speaking. He kept his gentle smile on.

–Did you eat your tangerine?– he finally spoke. I was snapped away from my thoughts. This led me to break eye contact between us. I did not know how much we kept looking, but it felt like paradise!

Words died in my mouth. The fire lights made him look like an angel. I could be mistaking him for one!

–Well, Y/N?–

Please, say my name with that angelic voice of yours once again, and I may die peacefully once and for all!

–I was, until you called me to come here. Why thought?–My fingers kept peeling off the fruit's skin, waiting for his answer.

–I enjoy spending time with you–.

Again, my gaze met his. He turned his head, watching the fire's flames now dying little by little. –Although we have not spoken so much since we left Japan, I sincerely want our bond to be stronger. I find your company to be... comforting–.

I kept listening to his words.

–Somehow, you remind me of my mother–.

–Do I?–

–You do–He chuckled, –and I don't certainly lie!–

–Oh well, I said, throwing my hands up, –if you say so!–

Our laughers filled the space around us. I was really glad about Kakyoin's words. I know he wasn't lying at all. After all, he was a sincere man, frank, but sincere. That made him more... him!

–The fire is dying– He pointed out. –You should get some rest. Tomorrow's going to be a long day–.

–I know. Cairo's near– I finished for him.

–Good–.

Our conversation was followed with silence, and i couldn't help mìbut fidgeting with my hands. –I'll go to sleep, then–. I stood up from the sand and went over to reach my sleeping bag. I didn't notice it before, but it seemed Joseph and Polanreff were already snoring. Damn it, now it'll be harder to fall asleep...

–And Y/N?–

I turned around. He, too, stood up and let his hand touch mine. His eyes travelled from my eyes to my lips, then cheeks. I could tell he was uncertain. –I didn't wish you goodnight–.

It was soon followed by a sweet kiss, right on my left cheek. I knew i was turning red, and that only made his smirk grow wider, but oh god! He had no right to make me so flushtered! I wish I could have wished him a good night, too, but that man walked away from me before I could. Was this a way to hide his embarrassment? I do hope so. I might be shy or clumsy, but his shyness can't be hidden. He can't lie.