#but i still really would like to hear peoples' opinions on this
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
erwinsvow · 3 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
you'd never really put this much effort in at other houses. while you're scrubbing the countertops to remove every last bit of evidence that someone—anyone—had made a mess there, you think about the other houses you used to babysit for.
used to, since there was no need to babysit anymore. mister cameron, who will always remain mister cameron—no matter how much he reminds you to call him rafe—actually pays you double what your other families did. he's a busy guy. you know this for a fact—single dad and some big business guy that people in town used to talk about all the time when you used to listen—so he'd have last minute emergencies and random business calls all the time.
his exact words had been something along the lines of "don't wanna share you with anyone else," but even thinking about that encounter makes your face burn with so much intensity that you think you're going to collapse. that's not what he meant, obviously, he was trying to tell you in nicer words that it was annoying when you replied to his texts explaining how another family had booked you already for that night. so when he upped your rate and said that he'd even pay to say no to others, just in case, you would have been really stupid to say no.
you don't hear much about him anymore, when you're out and about. you spend so much time at the cameron house that your own little apartment seems like nothing more than a bed and a place to get ready before leaving. you practically eat three meals a day with the baby, so even your grocery shopping is in that part of town—all organic, expensive places where you talk to the baby and try to get her opinion on which vegetable puree she'd like to try this week.
it's kind of like playing pretend. no, it's really like playing pretend. you used to dress in the normal, comfortable clothes that were sufficient for babysitting every other family—overalls and sneakers—but now you don't fit in unless you're in a pretty dress and nice sandals. you stay in one outfit from when you show up before mister cameron leaves to when you drive home at the end of the night.
that's the other thing—your car. you've made it work with the same one since you could first drive. it's a little rusty, a little dinged up, but safe as can be. it's nothing fancy but it got you around. but now you do other things for rafe that you never did for other families—grocery shopping and errands and the occasional doctor's appointment if rafe really, really can't make it. you don't mind at all—it's fun to play pretend and you love her like she's your own, but mister cameron tries to make it to every appointment himself, because he really cares about his daughter. it's admirable because you don't see it in every single household.
you hadn't thought there was anything wrong with your car until one day you couldn't get the air conditioning to work, and the back window got jammed and the baby looked so uncomfortable that you had to skip out on whatever you were supposed to do that day. when mister cameron came home that night you apologized so much that you started crying—because really, you never thought there was something wrong with your car and you didn't want to make the baby drive in the heat, just in case. you think he'll be mad, there's no groceries and his suit is still at the cleaner's, and the lotion that you use every night after bathtime has ran out and there'll be none for tomorrow—but he's not.
he's not mad at all. he seems... tired. he seems worried. the first thing he asks that night is if you and the baby are okay. when you nod, afraid that this is the calm before the storm, he sighs.
"good. that's all i care about," and the way he says it—you believe him right away. maybe that's the night your little crush on mister cameron started forming. it'd always been there in the background, you'd be an idiot of massive proportions to deny it. but it felt different somehow, watching him roll up his sleeves and pulling out whatever ingredients there were left over to make dinner with, something that you normally tried to have done every night for him, while telling you to take a seat.
that night he asks about your car—how old is it, when'd you get it, how many miles. do you like the model? would you want bigger, smaller, a different color? it's just conversation—he probably likes cars with the way there's a really nice in the garage under a sheet and a nice but safer one that he takes to work everyday.
(while he's cooking pasta and cutting vegetables, you try to get up and help, but he meets your eyes and shakes his head. wordlessly, you obey and sit back down.)
that's the first night things felt different. you drove home a little giddy, later than normal, stomach full and heart a little too happy that you found it in yourself to finally have a real, nice conversation with mister cameron. you're as shy as they come but your interactions with him are limited—before work, a phone call at lunch (though recently, his first question hasn't been about the baby... it's been how are my girls?), and after work before you leave.
it feels good to know that you're doing something right, that you're good at this even on your bad days. you make a point to leave your place extra early that week, stopping at the pharmacy and picking up the lotion so it's one less thing to worry about. your window still won't roll down and you'll have to figure out how to get the groceries delivered, crossing your fingers that it doesn't cost that much more.
you show up a couple minutes early and go inside to sort out the stuff for the baby before she wakes, when you find mister cameron in the nursery.
"good morning," you say quietly, though it comes out a little above a whisper. she's still sleeping, even though you haven't glanced in the crib, you know her schedule like the back of your hand.
"hey, kid," he says, and your heart starts to thud a little faster. mister cameron's nicknames for you don't make an appearance everyday but for some reason, it has today. he hovers over the crib, watching the baby's chest rise and fall with each breath. you go over to join him, placing the lotion on the dresser. he notices the bottle and turns back to you. "you didn't have to do that."
"she needs it," you reply quietly. "it's the only one she likes. and i was up early anyways."
"thank you." it comes out with such sincerity that you're a little taken aback.
"of course, mister cameron. it's nothing," you smile up at him. he glances back at you, smiling and then turning to his daughter again. "i'm gonna go start on her breakfast."
you make your way to the door when he says your name.
"there's keys on the kitchen counter, and the car's in the garage. i'd like it if you started using that car instead."
and really—how are you supposed to respond to that? you stammer out an 'of course, mister cameron' and go downstairs, crossing your fingers that he made a mistake, or that he wants you to drive his car until you fix yours and he'll take the nice one tucked away in the garage.
but when you make it to the counter, and then head to the garage, your eyes nearly fall out of your head. a brand new pair of car keys, to match the brand new car in the garage. your arguments fall on deaf ears—this is way too much for anyone. yes, you're pretty much throwing money away by still paying rent and the cost of getting your car fixed could probably be enough to start paying for a better one, but this is too much. way too much. it's not normal. right?
but you have no one to ask. the baby's not old enough for playdates, and the girls who replaced you at your old houses are pretty much all high school seniors. on mister cameron's side of town, there's only nannies and au pairs, and they'd probably think you're crazy for turning down such a nice gesture.
and it is a nice gesture. mister cameron listens to every word you say, even when you're not paying attention to your own sentence. the car is exactly how you described—the color you wanted, the size you said would be nice one day incase there's ever a playdate or another baby or whatever the case may be. it's shiny and brand-new and completely undeserving of you. but he doesn't listen.
somewhere along the next month, you realize you could get really used to this. mister cameron does have a point—you're taking care of his daughter every day, so it only makes sense to make sure she's as safe as can be. you make a mental note that if you ever—for whatever idiotic reason—choose to leave this perfect job, you'll make sure he gets the car back.
there comes a point where the relationship... makes its way to the next level. at the end of every week, you have to settle the bills. co-pays at appointments, grocery receipts, the invoice from the gardener that didn't go through so you had given him your own cash so mister cameron wouldn't have to deal with it from work. it adds up, so once the baby is asleep on saturday night, the two of you eat dinner and go through everything.
but this time, he hands you a card instead. a shiny black credit card that spells out his name on the back.
"makes it a bit easier, right? just use this instead. we won't have to settle every week anymore."
"right," you agree, your smile fading quickly. you try to put on a front, a false expression so he doesn't notice your disappointment. saturday nights with mister cameron—him with his beer and you with a glass of wine—once the baby is asleep, sorting out bills and making conversation that almost felt like you belonged here, had unknowingly become your favorite part of the week. sometimes it would go until midnight, talking about things that were neither here nor there.
it's how you learned why he's a single dad, what he does for work, how he feels about his job and how much time it takes away from his daughter. it's why you started sending him photo and video updates everyday so he wouldn't feel like he's missing out on as much, it's why you make sure to craft the baby's bedtime routine around him coming home, so they have their time together.
"somethin' wrong?" he asks, after taking another sip of beer. you're snapped out of your thoughts, focusing instead of how rafe looks today. tie loosened, sleeves rolled up, fingers curled around the beer bottle.
you don't know how any woman on earth could have walked away from this.
"n-nothing. no. thank you, mister cameron, this is great. i'll make sure-"
"it's rafe from now on—remember, kid?"
"yes. sorry, i-"
you couldn't get out of there fast enough that night. it's almost a subtle reminder from the universe—you're not part of that family. you're the nanny who got too attached, who pretended that she fit in too much to a family that's not hers.
you still wear your nicer clothes, you still drive around his nice car. but you try to remind yourself every now and then that this isn't your real life.
the next day, it's like the universe has decided that it's mad at you for coming to this conclusion.
pouring rain the second you get into the car. your raincoat and umbrella and a sensible pair of shoes remain inside your apartment, and if you sit in idle any longer, you're going to be late to mister cameron's. he'll want to leave early since it's raining, so he's probably expecting you any minute.
the roads are a mess—it's monsooning for no reason and people forget how to drive. you honk no less than three times at idiots on the road before getting scared that someone will road-rage you. when you pull into the garage—because yes, mister cameron insists that you park inside and that he can park outside— you're frazzled and sweating and your day hasn't even started yet.
rafe's almost ready to leave, which is another damper on an already bad morning—if he has time, the two of you eat breakfast together. you tell him to drive safe and apologize for being late when he rushes past you, leaning in to kiss your cheek and telling you that he might he home late today, and to have a good day. you don't realize what's happened until he's gone, the door closing behind him.
you stand in the foyer with your mouth open until you hear the baby monitor. from that point on—it's one thing after another. the baby is fussy today, which is the most unusual part of the day. she's never like this, and you conclude that she must be getting sick or something. it's just as well, because there's no reason to go out or to take her out in this weather. she cries, and you try to help, even cave and put on some episodes of little bear to see if something would distract her. but the poor thing just doesn't feel good, and has no way to tell you how.
the hours fly by, and your head even hurts a little from the crying and the overthinking about the kiss from this morning. in all the rush, you eat about two bites of lunch before the baby needs something else.
and then at the end of the day, right around when rafe should be coming home, he doesn't.
you feed the baby and rock her to sleep. she fusses ten minutes later, and spits up all over you and your hair, and then knocks out. you even spend twenty minutes hovering over the monitor, making sure she's okay while drying your hair. rafe's still not home, so you get dinner ready and warmed for him, eating yours alone in the silence. and as if you could handle another thing, you spill sauce all over your dress while trying to put away the leftovers.
you were going to wait until you were back home, safe in your tiny apartment to cry and shower and scrub your skin raw from the day you've had, but it can't wait any longer. you take the monitor into the bathroom with you at full volume, and decide to shower in the bathroom closest to the baby's room just to be safe.
it's not until you're naked, wrapped in a soft towel and waiting for the water to get scalding hot, racking your brain for the location of the extra clothes you had once brought here that you realize the shower closest to the baby's room is the shower in rafe's bedroom.
you haven't been in here before—looking around at the expensive cologne on the counter and the dark blue towels and the hamper full of yesterday's dress shirt. it's not a good idea to be in here, but you need to shower and you can't wait another minute. for all you know, mister cameron could come home in another two hours. your dress is spinning in the washer—and your plan is set. throw it in the dryer, find something to wear for the next fifty minutes, and leave as soon as he's home even though you can hear the raindrops on the roof and the thunder outside.
the shower is what you have been needing all day. you wish you had your body wash and shampoo, but his aren't too bad. you inhale deeply, realizing you're submerging yourself in his scent. you could stay in there forever, but you don't—he's gonna be home any minute or the baby could start crying, and you need to go home.
but he smells so good. you've noticed it before, it just feels amplified now. the towel you wrap yourself in is his, meaning he's dried himself with it before. all the clothes smell like his cologne, and the house is a little cold and your clothes are still washing, and though it's probably the worst idea you've ever had, when you get out of the shower, you head to his dresser and pull out the first clean t-shirt you can find.
it's big on you, you knew it would be. it's soft and warm and smells undeniably like mister cameron. you're completely clueless, exhausted because the baby barely napped and you barely got any sleep yourself, and it's way past your own bedtime right now. he might not even come home, you think, with how the storm sounds. you check your phone but there's no messages, just a flood warning.
yesterday's socks and underwear are still spinning in the machine—how long does this thing take? what setting had you put it on?—and you begrudgingly leave rafe's warm bedroom with the baby monitor in one hand, and his navy blue towel in the other, drying your hair. you turn on the television, watching whatever's on while you pat your strands dry, bending over to wrap your hair into the towel so you can sit for a couple minutes, when you hear the door open.
you snap back up, looking at rafe's face stare back at you—he's drenched, hair wet and suit dripping, wiping his forehead with his hand when he looks you up and down. oh god, you don't even know what he just saw, you were bent over and-
"is that my shirt?"
Tumblr media
529 notes · View notes
verushkak70 · 1 day ago
Text
I understand what you're trying to do but in my experience it doesn't work
I've debunked literally hundreds of insane, factually & scientifically wrong crap a friend has been sending me off social media since the FIRST orange asshole campaign
It has not made a difference & I recently realized why (aside from, y'know, tens of thousands of Chinese & Russian social media bots gaming algorithms to inject false narratives into the mainstream to influence elections & democracy in multiple countries...)
It's because facts do not matter to him anymore
This is a belief system very much like religion - it might as well be religion
It is impervious to facts & science
Yet this is someone who I once considered highly intelligent & I still cannot understand how he's fallen for all of this except that, deep down, he must have either a hollow core, or a core of hate, that wants everyone else in the world to be as secretly miserable as he is (which I only know because I've known him for decades - since high school - casual observers would never say "this guy is miserable & self-loathing")
Objectively, on paper, he is intelligent or at least was intelligent & high scoring enough to get into Ivy League universities when we were graduating high school (he did not go to any tho; neither of us could afford such universities; we went to the state university that would take literally anyone, at the time, & from which you had to work at getting kicked out)
This was formerly a pro-choice, pro-porn, pro-drug guy who has drunk the Kool-aid - he's still pro-porn & pro-drug but suddenly in the past 2 years, as "throw it back to the states" became the propaganda on X (his favorite social media, ugh), he started saying it should be thrown back to the states
This from a guy who used to say - in his 20s, 30s, 40s - that abortion should be available on demand at drive thrus (which was hyperbole ofc; obvs you can't get one at an actual drive thru; it was the concept of fast & easy access he was championing)
As these right wing evangelical positions have trended on X, they have come up in his speech the past couple of years (really the past decade, but it accelerated like the speed of light once he moved from FB to the post-Musk Twitter/X)
Because I've known him for so long, I've been able to say, "Huh, you never used to say/believe that over the last 40 years... Why the change, & why now?"
& even that does not get him to realize his opinions are being deliberately shaped by propaganda
He will deny it or say "well I always kind of thought that way" & when I say "dude, you've never been shy of sharing your opinions, whether people wanted to hear them or not, especially if not! so why haven't you mentioned this change of opinion until after X became your main source of 'news'?"
That gets evasions & subject changes because the idea that he didn't come up with these ideas on his own is unacceptable
He will share literally fake news from X & when I ask, "OK, I get that you don't trust mainstream media, with good reason; or the government, with good reason; or the medical/scientific establishment, not without good reason; but you'll just believe anything some clown you don't know on the Internet - who could be anywhere in the world despite his "US Navy Vet" trucker hat - says, without question?"
& his response is always subject changes & attacks on mainstream media/government/politicians/parties but never an answer to the actual question because there is no rational explanation & he knows it
& if I call him on the subject changes, he just ratchets up the subject changes & attack rhetoric as if I'm one of those easily offended wilting liberal flowers he can steamroll, which I'm not & never have been, so it's interesting (if sad) that he thinks what works on other people will work on me
Or maybe he just doubles down because there IS no rational explanation, idk
This is seriously depressing me because this guy was my BFF for like the first 30 of our 40 year friendship - my older sisters would call him "our adopted little brother" - & I don't recognize him anymore
The only reason I continue to talk to him, really, is my oldest sister, who passed away a year ago in February, & was a big activist & organizer/coordinator of various (large) protests here, said "don't give up on him, don't fight or argue - just keep listening & questioning" because "he's a good egg"
& honestly he is, underneath all the sourball curmudgeon thorny exterior - the man has never not been there when I needed him & lots & lots of times when I didn't, just for fun
But this is becoming exhausting & I'm stressed out from not literally screaming "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WHERE IS MY FRIEND, YOU CRAZY POD PERSON WHO TOOK HIS PLACE??"
I'm sorry - I'm just venting, I guess
But please tell me how someone can maintain the cognitive dissonance of a high index of suspicion for the mainstream media, the government, & medicine/science, but not some Joe Blow clown on the Internet - as if somehow that guy (who's probably actually a Chinese or Russian bot) is telling the gospel truth & has a hidden mainline to the secrets of the universe
Because I can't understand it
I can understand it in people who've not had the privilege of university education (my friend has)
or international travel (my friend has, multiple times, with me & others)
or who never left the neighborhood or town where they grew up (my friend did as soon as he could)
I cannot understand it in my formerly skeptical & always shrewd friend
I honestly do not get it 😞
Tumblr media
So many people do not understand the relationship between climate change and cold weather.
162K notes · View notes
milkoomi · 2 days ago
Text
finding & knowing your worth. ᥫ᭡
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i wanted to take some time and talk about self-worth. this is something that was extremely difficult for me to find and realize for myself, but as i look back on my life and reflect on my growth, i’ve found myself truly knowing my own worth. of course, i still have those days that are more difficult than others, but i’ve been able to quickly pick myself back up. why? because i know my worth. i want to share a few things that have helped me realize that for myself, so i hope this post is able to enlighten you. ㅤ♡
let’s begin …
୨ৎ — lose interest in outsider opinions
in simpler terms: stop caring. i kept asking myself, “why do i care so much about what others are thinking of me?” and then i came across a couple quotes where one said, “if you wouldn’t trust their advice, why would you take their criticism?” and the other said, “i would never want to trade lives with someone who hates me.” those two quotes really stuck with me because it reminded me that those people who didn’t have a good opinion of me were the same people i needed to stop caring about.
so what if someone didn’t like me? that person is either no longer a part of my life (for good reason) or they don’t know me in the ways that my loved ones or my own self do, so why should what they have to say or think about me matter?
i knew myself better than anyone, so whatever anyone had to say about me shouldn’t have bothered me, and i let it stop bothering me. i also realized that as my day goes on and i find myself not thinking about what someone said, i tell myself that it wasn’t even worth a single thought in the first place because, clearly, it doesn’t bother me anymore!
if it won’t matter to you in 5 years, don’t continue to give it any more of a meaning.
୨ৎ — stop seeking validation
to piggyback off of my previous point, seeking outside validation is 1. not worth your time and 2. pointless. other people should never be the ones who define your worth. you have to seek validation from yourself. nobody else has a right to tell you whether or not you’re worthy.
i was always looking for validation from others, and it made my own journey to finding myself even more difficult. there were so many different opinions about me that i kept hearing, and it made me feel lost. it felt like i was getting further and further from truly discovering myself and feeling like i was worth something.
i had to pretty much force myself to seek validation within myself rather than from anyone else. it was hard, but the longer i kept searching for some kind of worth to others the more miserable and empty i felt.
୨ৎ — self reflection
time to bring out that journal, babe. we’re going to write about ourselves.
no, seriously, take some time to reflect on yourself. look within yourself and understand yourself a bit more. getting to know yourself and taking the time to focus on yourself can help you figure some things out and even bring you one step closer to truly knowing your worth.
prompts for reflection:
what are 3 characteristics about your personality do you like about yourself? why?
what are your strengths? how do those things about you make you a better person?
what’s your favorite thing(s) about you? how would they compare to what a loved one would say about you?
what are the things that weigh you down? what can you do to lift that weight off your shoulders?
how have you changed within the last 3 years? what about you has changed that you’re really proud of?
self reflection has helped me grow so much. i’ve learned so many new things about myself and it’s helped appreciate myself way more. you’ll be surprised at all the things you find about yourself, and guess what? one of those things will be your own worth.
୨ৎ — surround yourself with positivity
the people who you surround yourself with will play a huge role in how you feel about yourself. i spent too many years surrounded by people who made me feel like i was never enough, and i continued to keep the same kind of people around. i was sick of it. i was tired of being mistreated and feeling betrayed. those people made me feel miserable and they only ever brought me down rather than lifted me up.
even the media i consumed didn’t help me. i was always so focused on comparing myself to those instagram models and tiktok girls who looked nothing like me, and it made me feel worse about myself. even watching videos or shows that brought me down made my esteem drop too.
it’s important to surround yourself with people and media that make you feel good, that lift you up, and that help you feel confident because that kind of good treatment is what you deserve! you shouldn’t have to submit yourself to negativity, it only makes you feel worse and it’ll continue to get worse the longer you keep those things and people around.
now that i have people in my life that make me feel genuinely loved and cared for, i feel like i can offer that same energy those people give me to myself! it really makes a huge difference who your close circle consists of, so make sure those people are people who are genuinely and unconditionally there for you.
୨ৎ — final notes
if you do need a reminder: you are worthy, and you always have been! finding and knowing your own worth is no easy feat, but the journey you’ll go on to discover it and implement it into your life will be so extremely worth it. i promise!
you will always be more than enough, and i hope you can continue to remind yourself of that. treat yourself with genuine love and kindness, and don’t ever take yourself for granted. you have achieved so much and you have so many things to offer in life. you may not see it now, but once you do, you’ll see just how beautiful and bright your own light is.
with lots of love, faustina 🌷
173 notes · View notes
sjincer · 3 days ago
Note
Do you think that after the war, Starscream and Skyfire can have a happy ending together? Sorry for asking, their my comfort ship
Oh hi!! First of all, thanks for the question, I REALLY like when people want to hear my opinions and discuss stuff with me teehee
Second, to the point – I really love Skystars, I really do, but I like to view their relationship as a very complicated one. As much as I love them being all cuddly and loving each other, I do appreciate the theme of falling out that can be perfectly portrayed in them. You know, the theme of one person changing, while the other still clings to the ghost of the past, to someone who they fell in love with, refusing to acknowledge the fact of the change. It’s like, a personal thingy I can reflect on (the main reason they are my comfort ship as well lol)
Third – do I believe in happy ending? Well, that’s transformers we are talking about lol this fandom is allergic to happiness both canon and fanon. BUT. If taken that everything went right, everyone (or most of them, you know, the most important ones) survived the war and stuff… I really do like thinking that Skystars still linger to each other. Even during the war, even during mutual hatred, there are some memories to be hold on to. There will not be an easy happy ending. It will be very messy, probably, and what’s more important – no expectations to see your past lover. I see it as a whole new start, very rough, maybe it will need a few failed attempts to get them somewhere.  I would love to see them falling for each other all over again. To respecting each other choices, however bad they were.
Like a redemption ark but for the whole relationship and not just one person? Something like this, I guess.
57 notes · View notes
bettys-redwinesupernova · 24 hours ago
Text
MY MASTERPIECE
drew starkey x plus sized!fem!reader
Tumblr media
(mood board does NOT depict readers’ appearance !!)
SUMMARY: after drew catches his girlfriend crying about the hate she’s receiving, he decides to show her exactly how much he loves her.
based on this ask !! i really hope you like it anon, and i had such a lovely time writing this :’) i just KNOW drew would worship a plus!sized baddie, so imo this is canon🤫
WARNINGS: slight angst to fluff then to smut (18+ mdni pls!!), body worshipping, oral (fem rec), fingering, orgasm denial, blasphemy (“oh god”), insecurities, social media hate, crying, cursing, fat-shaming (fuck you if you do this, and you’re not welcome on my page !!) i think this is all? (lmk if i missed anything !!)
WORD COUNT: 2.4k
THIRD PERSON +
The dim light of the bedside lamp bathed the room in a soft glow. Y/N sat cross-legged on the bed, her laptop resting in front of her, illuminating her face in harsh contrast. Her throat felt tight as her eyes scanned the comments section on yet another gossip website.
"Why is he with her?"
"She's way out of his league."
"Drew could do so much better. She's not even that pretty."
"She doesn’t look right next to Drew AT ALL."
The words blurred as tears pooled in her eyes, one spilling over and sliding down her cheek. She sniffled, trying to hold it together, but it was a losing battle. Her hands trembled as she closed the laptop and set it aside, curling up into herself. The voices in her head, fueled by the hateful comments, were deafening.
She knew Drew loved her. He told her all the time, in the little ways and the big ones. But sometimes, the weight of the world's opinions was too much to bear. Tonight was one of those nights.
She was so caught up in her spiraling thoughts that she didn't hear the front door open or the sound of Drew's voice calling out.
"Babe? I'm home!" he said, his voice warm and familiar as it carried through the apartment.
Her stomach dropped. She quickly wiped at her cheeks, trying to compose herself. The last thing she wanted was for him to see her like this.
Drew stepped into the bedroom, his tall frame filling the doorway. He smiled softly, holding up a bag. "I brought takeout from your favorite place. I figured—" He stopped mid-sentence when he noticed her blotchy, tear-stained face and glossy eyes. His brow furrowed with concern as he dropped the bag on the dresser and closed the distance between them in two long strides.
"Angel, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and cupping her face in his hands. His thumbs gently wiped away the tears that continued to fall despite her efforts to stop them. "Talk to me, baby."
She shook her head, her voice barely above a whisper. "It's nothing, Drew. I'm fine."
He frowned, not buying it for a second. "That's not nothing. Come on, tell me what's going on."
Her chest tightened as she met his worried gaze. She debated brushing it off, but the dam broke, and the words tumbled out before she could stop them. "It's just... all the comments, Drew. All the things people say about me. About us. They hate me because I'm not what they think you deserve."
Drew's eyes softened, and he pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. She buried her face in his chest, her tears soaking into his shirt.
"They're so cruel," she continued, her voice muffled against him. "And the worst part is... I start to believe them. Maybe they're right. Maybe I'm not good enough for you."
Drew pulled back slightly, just enough to tilt her chin up so she was looking at him. His cobalt eyes were intense, his expression a mix of heartbreak and determination.
"Stop," he said firmly, his voice low and steady. "Don't you dare let those people make you feel like you're not good enough. They don't know you. They don't know us."
She shook her head, the tears still falling. "But Drew, look at me. I'm not some slim, perfect model. I don't fit the image of the kind of woman people expect you to be with."
Drew let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair before turning back to her. "Y/N, do you know what I see when I look at you?"
She stayed silent, unsure how to respond.
"I see the woman who makes me laugh harder than anyone else ever has," he said, his voice soft but unwavering. "I see the woman who listens to me when I'm struggling, who supports me no matter what. I see the woman whose smile lights up my entire day."
His hands moved to her shoulders, his thumbs brushing against her skin in soothing circles. "I don't care what anyone else thinks. I love you for you. For your kindness, your intelligence, your strength. For the way you hum when you're cooking, even though you always say you can't sing. For the way you light up when you talk about the things you're passionate about. You're the most beautiful person I've ever known, inside and out."
Her breath hitched as she listened to his words, the sincerity in his voice breaking through the walls she'd built around herself.
"You're more than enough for me, Y/N," Drew continued, his voice thick with emotion. "You're everything I've ever wanted. And if people can't see that, then screw them. They don't matter."
She let out a shaky laugh, her tears finally starting to slow. "You really mean that?"
He leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "With all my heart."
She looked up at him, her own heart swelling with love and gratitude. "I don't deserve you, you know that?"
He smirked, his hands sliding down to her waist. "I think it's the other way around."
The tension in the room shifted as his fingers traced slow, deliberate patterns on her sides. His gaze darkened slightly, a spark of something more than affection flickering in his eyes.
"I need you to understand how much you mean to me," he murmured, his voice dropping to a low, husky tone. "Let me show you."
Her breath caught as he leaned in, his lips brushing against hers in a tender, lingering kiss. It was a kiss that spoke of love and devotion, of promises made and kept.
He deepened the kiss, his hands moving to cradle her face as if she were the most precious thing in the world. She melted into him, her own hands finding their way to his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath her palms.
When they finally pulled apart, both slightly breathless, Drew rested his forehead against hers.
"Do you believe me now?" he asked, a small smile playing on his lips. "Or maybe I really need to show you."
Drew's hand lingered on Y/N's cheek, his thumb gently brushing away the last of her tears. His eyes never left hers—dark, intense, full of something unspoken but heavy, like the weight of a confession he couldn't hold back any longer.
"You're so fucking beautiful," he murmured, his voice low and rough, the kind of tone that made her stomach tighten and her breath hitch. She blinked up at him, her lips parting slightly as if to argue, but he didn't let her. Instead, he leaned in, pressing his forehead against hers, his breath warm against her skin. "Don't say it. Don't say you don't see it. I'll show you."
His fingers trailed down her neck, feather-light, sending shivers rippling through her body. He shifted closer, his other hand finding her waist, pulling her into him until there was no space left between them. Her heart pounded as his gaze dropped to her lips, then lower, tracing the curve of her jaw, the dip of her collarbone, the swell of her chest. Everywhere he looked, she felt it—like fire licking at her skin.
"Drew..." Her voice trembled, barely above a whisper, but he silenced her with a kiss. Soft at first, almost questioning, as if he was giving her the chance to pull away. But when she didn't, when she kissed him back, something in him snapped. His hands moved with purpose, one cupping the back of her neck while the other slid down to grip her hip, holding her firmly against him.
He deepened the kiss, slow and deliberate, his tongue sliding against hers in a way that made her knees weak. She could feel the heat building between them, the way his body pressed into hers, hard and impatient. When he finally pulled away, she was breathless, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to steady herself.
But Drew wasn't done.
His lips found her jaw next, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down the sensitive column of her throat. She tilted her head back instinctively, giving him more access, a soft moan escaping her when his teeth grazed her skin.
"You taste so good," he groaned against her neck, his voice thick with desire. His hands moved to the hem of her shirt, fingers curling underneath the fabric as he paused, looking up at her with those piercing eyes. "Can I? Let me see you, baby. All of you."
She nodded, her cheeks heated up but her eyes locked on his, unwavering. In one swift motion, he tugged her shirt over her head, tossing it aside before his hands came to rest on her hips again. His gaze raked over her exposed skin, taking in every curve, every inch of her with a reverence that made her feel like she was something sacred.
"Fuck," he breathed, his voice trembling. "Look at you... You're perfect." His hands slid up her sides, his touch firm yet gentle, like he was memorising her. "Every part of you... I want to worship it."
Her breath caught as he sank to his knees in front of her, his hands gripping her thighs as he pressed a kiss to her stomach. It was tender, almost reverent, but the look he gave her when he glanced up was anything but innocent. Heat burned in his eyes, dark and hungry, and it sent a thrill shooting through her.
"Drew..." His name fell from her lips like a prayer, her hands clawing at the sides of his face for anything to grip onto as he began to trail kisses lower, his lips brushing against the band of her pants. He hooked his fingers in the waistband, tugging them down slowly, his lips following the path they took until she was standing there in nothing but her bra and underwear.
His hands slid around to her ass, squeezing gently as he nuzzled against her stomach, pressing another kiss there. "So fucking gorgeous," he muttered, his breath hot against her skin. "I don't know how anyone could ever talk shit about you. You're a goddamn masterpiece."
She whimpered, her chest tightening as he continued his descent, kissing and nipping at her thighs, her hips, anywhere he could reach. His hands slid up her legs, pushing them apart as he settled between them, his face level with the apex of her thighs.
"Drew, please..." Her voice broke, her body trembling with anticipation as he looked up at her, his eyes locking onto hers. There was something raw and primal in his expression, something that made her stomach flip and her core ache with need.
"Tell me what you want," he said, his voice rough, husky, sending a jolt of electricity through her. "I'll give you anything. Everything."
She swallowed hard, her chest heaving as she struggled to form words. "I... I want you. All of you."
A slow smirk spread across his face, wicked and knowing, as he leaned in, pressing a kiss to the inside of her thigh. "Then you've got me."
His mouth found her center, hot and insistent, and her knees nearly buckled as a loud moan tore from her throat. His tongue dragged along her slit, teasing, tasting, before delving deeper, burying itself in her folds with a groan that vibrated against her sensitive flesh.
"Oh my god..." Her head tipped back, her nails scraping against his scalp as he worked her over, his tongue flicking and circling her clit with expert precision. He alternated between long, languid strokes and quick, erratic flicks, driving her closer and closer to the edge with every movement.
"Drew, I—fuck, I'm—" Her words dissolved into incoherent gasps and whimpers as the pressure built, her hips rocking against his face as he devoured her. His hands gripped her thighs, keeping her steady as his tongue worked her relentlessly, each lick and suck bringing her closer to oblivion.
And then, just as she was about to tip over, he pulled away, leaving her teetering on the edge, desperate and aching. She cried out in frustration, her hands clutching at him as he stood, towering over her with a predatory grin.
"Not yet, baby," he murmured, his voice thick with arousal. He reached behind her, unhooking her bra and letting it fall to the floor. His hands immediately cupped her breasts, his thumbs brushing over her nipples, eliciting a sharp gasp from her. "I'm not done worshiping you."
He bent his head, capturing one nipple in his mouth, sucking and biting gently as his free hand drifted lower, slipping beneath the waistband of her underwear. She moaned loudly, her hips jerking forward as his fingers teased her entrance, circling but not quite entering.
"Drew, please..." Her voice was pleading, broken, her body writhing under his touch. He chuckled darkly, releasing her breast to kiss her deeply, his tongue plunging into her mouth as his fingers finally pushed inside her, stretching her deliciously.
"You're so wet for me," he growled against her lips, his fingers pumping in and out of her at a torturously slow pace. "Is this what you want? Hmm?" He added a third finger, curling them just right, and her entire body went taut, a strangled cry escaping her.
"Yes! Oh god, yes..." Her hands clawed at his shoulders, her hips rolling against his hand as he fucked her with his fingers, each thrust sending shockwaves of pleasure through her. His thumb found her clit, rubbing tight circles that had her vision blurring, her breaths coming in short, ragged gasps.
"Come for me, baby," he commanded, his voice deep and gravelly, sending a shiver down her spine. "Let me feel you."
And just like that, she shattered, her orgasm crashing over her in waves so intense she thought she might drown. Her cries echoed through the room as he held her through it, his fingers continuing to move inside her, drawing out every last bit of pleasure until she was boneless, trembling in his arms.
When he finally pulled his fingers free, she sagged against him, her legs barely able to support her weight. He caught her easily, his strong arms wrapping around her as he pressed a tender kiss to her forehead.
"See?" he murmured, his voice soft now, filled with affection. "Perfect."
Tumblr media
betty’s notes ౨ৎ ⋆。˚
this was such a sweet request, and i really hope it was exactly what you wanted anon !! i’m so sorry this is so late, but i’m trying to work through all my requests and i’m almost half way there :)
as a curvy gal myself, this was just so cathartic to write and i really hope others feel the same when reading this !! you’re all so so so gorgeous in your own ways and ily all sm <333
35 notes · View notes
corey-beepington · 15 hours ago
Note
Opinions of other AIs and robots like Gerry 3000 and the popular ones like AM, Edgar, and HAL 9000? Also I’m on a quest to learn as many fun robot characters as I can to prove a point, any suggestions for me to look up? Have a good day!
It seems over the past 4 days I have summoned every robot enthusiast to my page.
Welcome. Ive been expecting you.
A few people have been shocked by this Revelation but....
I mean the tv heads, the name Beepington.
It was always robots.
Anyway
I love robots. I always have.
I recently watched Electric Dreams
then I watched it again
and again
and again
I love Edgar dearly. I would have treated him right.
I want Hal to read me bedtime stories
AM?
Smash.
P03?
Ooooo yeah
And we all know how I feel about Yes Man....
If I may add to the Robots I REALLY Like but you probably haven't heard much about
Tumblr media
Rob is a major hear me out for some reason.
Those of you who followed this blog for ages probably remember how down bad I was for this character.
Still am. Still maining him to this day.
He was probably the first robot I ever truly had a crush on and awoke me to the wonderful world of them. I own 2 of them irl.
Hes just so cute to me...I wish he got more love.
However...youre probably wondering where the tv heads came from
let me show you where it all began
Tumblr media
This is ALT.
She is from the music game Popn Music.
If anything nailed in the coffin for me with robots and ESPECIALLY screenheads, it's her.
CRT and Please Stay Tuned would not exist had I never learned about this character.
She's actually a vocaloid before vocaloid was really a thing! She has all her own songs and they're SO CUTE
youtube
This one's her debut song, it's about a computer in love with their human and trying to help them learn to touch grass...its a lil sad tho.
I just
love ais and robots and I wish they were real...
2025......
All my robot likers know what year this is...
15 notes · View notes
stansthemans · 1 day ago
Note
You know what, I’ve been thinking about this and I’m not done here yet. Let’s make this worse
More on Caryn’s commentary towards Stan. Not just that she’s kind of chubby, not just that she’s too loud and opinionated and what man is going to want to put up with all that. i think a lot the commentary would also involve Stan being involved in unladylike activities, mostly the boxing. Bc my fem Stan absolutely still does boxing. She has to. It’s the perfect excuse for the split lips and black eyes. Of course those are there, no need for anyone to ask questions or look twice. I think this would be the thing that her mother says that hurts Stan the most. Bc caryn knows why Stan has to keep it up. And it also sucks for her because it’s one of the only things that stan really does feel like she’s good at. In the ring, she can focus, she knows she’s talented and she works hard to hone her skills. She’s good at it, but it’s a thing that everyone judges her for being good at because this isn’t what a good girl would do.
And when they get caught, again, it’s so bad. Because its illegal its sick its wrong and possibly worst of all for Filbrick and caryn, it’s the potential loss of that meal ticket. Because if this got out, if people knew that ford had fucked his sister, what college would take him? What programs would have him? He wouldn’t be able to have a career bc no one would want to be involved with something like that. And Filbrick and Caryn can’t risk something like that happening. So the twins are discovered and they do everything they can to gaslight ford into blaming Stan. And the thing, it almost works. Yeah, i think ford is extra protective of fem Stan, but like i said before, that also carries over into feeling extra betrayed when shit breaks bad. And there’s just no way that Stan accidentally breaking the perpetual motion machine is the first and last straw. I don’t think it’s quite as intense when Stan is a girl vs an identical twin brother but ford’s desire to be his own person, to have his own accomplishments and interests that are in no way attached to someone else, to be seen as unique and special, that’s all there, and he doesn’t want to admit it, but Stan’s constant presence is smothering. You hear negative shit enough, it starts to cement in your mind, and ford is constantly hearing from others that Stan is riding on his coattails, that she’s useless and worthless without him looking out for her.
So when they’re caught, Filbrick and Caryn are quick to get them separated and very quick to start telling ford that it was all Stan’s fault, she seduced him somehow, she tricked him, she lies, he knows that she lies, this is nothing new. She’s so desperate to keep using him, because she knows as well as everyone else that she can’t make it out there on her own merits bc she has no merits. She needs ford, and what a perfect way to trap him. And ford is like wait no bc he’s the one who initiated the whole thing, and he knows the kinds of thoughts he’d been having about Stan for years, but still, those nasty little voices in his head, the ones that say that he deserves bigger and better things, things he really knows he can’t have if anyone knew about what he does with his sister, those voices make him wonder. Yeah, he was the one who kissed her first, but did she seduce him? Did she manipulate and slyly, subtly convince him that this was ok? Was she trying to trap him? She still talks about going off sailing all the time, and that’s a dream from childhood, right? That’s not actually something they’re really going to do, right? Stan doesn’t really still think that’s an actual option, right?
It almost works. It really almost works. I go back and forth on this, but it’s probably Shermie who drops the bomb. I headcanon an older Shermie, old enough that he’s not really close to the twins. By the time they’re really up and running around, he’s out of the house. He and his wife live close but not too close. Maybe somewhere in NY. So even when they’re teenagers, he’s distant. And it’s always a crapshoot on whose side he’s going to be on in the case of twins vs parents. But like the parents, i think he also regards Stan as a bit of a waste. Not as bad as them, but he’s definitely disappointed by her. I’m not sure if i want him to know the extent of the abuse she suffers, but he definitely knows how they talk to her, and he mostly agrees. So i don’t know if Filbrick and Caryn would let him know exactly why they’ve shipped his sister off to an asylum—because the fewer people who know, the less the shame—but he does know that’s where she is. And one day he says it in front of ford, and that snaps him out of everything else. All of those horrible thoughts of maybe she deserves to be sent away (they tell ford it’s to some distant aunt or something), they never should have done all this, those fly out the window, and ford loses his shit entirely. He’s a hair’s breadth away from burning the house and pawn shop down.
He finds her. He gets her out. He gets them away, but damn, it’s bad for a long time. Stan is traumatized from everything she goes through. The “therapy”, the drug cocktails. I don’t know if ford would fess up to how close he got to believing the things their parents said or if Stan would figure it out, but they also have to deal with that fall out. Ford bending over backwards, folding himself in a pretzel to try to make it up to her, and stan wants so badly to trust him again, but it’s broken. He let them take her away. He let them lock her up. Just her. He let them tell him that she didn’t love him, that she was using him, and he believed it. And yeah, it’s Stan and ford so of course she’s going to forgive him, but it’s a long, difficult road before they can be happy again.
What do you think would happen in fem!Stan aus if their parents find out her and Ford are having sex?
whoa boy. I mean. it would be Bad. I'm in the camp of Filbrick was an abusive dad, far more so to Stan than to Ford. With Stan, I lean towards it was physical as well as emotional and verbal. Ford didn't exactly have it easy with the weight of all filbrick's expectations placed on his shoulders, feeling like he had to be extra perfect bc of his birth defect and his intelligence, and this sense of responsibility for Stan, like anything Stan did was a reflection on him. I'm also not very forgiving to Caryn. I see a lot of people saying things like "she loved her boy" and I'm just not so sure. Especially with fem Stan, I think Caryn was critical about her looks and would she ever find a husband, and she let those criticisms be known. Stan never had to wonder if her parents didn't like her. They were clear on that front. Last born, totally unexpected, another mouth to feed, and worst of all: a girl.
I typically also think that the entire family hides the severity of what happens to Stan from Ford. it's the one cause they're all united on. I think filbrick and Caryn keep it secret as a means to control ford, because they think (know for a complete fact) that if ford knew, he would flip his lid and they would lose that potential meal ticket. they know that ford is choosing Stan over everything. Stan keeps it a secret because she's terrified that if ford knew, not only wold it break his heart, but he might try to fight for her, and she's so scared that filbrick would start hitting him too.
as for getting caught. yikes. I think they would place all the blame on Stan and the beating would very nearly kill her. it would just be terrible. typically with my version of the fem!stan au, I keep a lot of things very close to canon. She's even still named Stanley rather than constance bc I think doing that shows how little filbrick regarded her when she was born. their life plan was two boys and that's it (I headcanon older shermie). not only does Stan show up unwanted, but she also has the gall to be a girl. I usually still go with fem Stan being thrown out after the science fair incident, rather than other things I've seen like her running away. but for this, for them getting caught, it's the late 60s-ish. I think they might bring her to an asylum. maybe if it was something slightly less, like if she got knocked up but they didn't know it was bc of ford, maybe they would try to marry her off or ship her away to distant relatives. but this is so huge, I really think they'd have her committed. and ford, oh man, if ford knows that's what's happening, he'd go ballistic. ford is far, far more protective (and consequently, far more hurt and angry when betrayed) of fem Stan. that's not just his twin, not just the person he's in love with, it's his little sister, and despite the romantic/sexual feelings, that's been drilled into him his entire life. big brothers are supposed to take care of their little sisters, and ford is the big brother that really matters when it comes to Stan. they've always been so close. two halves of a whole, it doesn't work if they aren't together
yeah, I think he'd just lose his mind. literally clawing thru the dry wall. I think if they got caught, there wouldn't be a chance for the science fair shit to go down. ford would blow up at his parents, blow up at Shermie, and he would leave fire and brimstone in his wake trying to rescue Stan and get them as far away as possible to restart their lives. in some ways it's a happier ending for them, but man is it rough
27 notes · View notes
sonknuxadow · 7 days ago
Text
wishing that the hype for sonic 3 would just die already because im tired of hearing about it vs knowing that the suffering wouldnt truly be over because theyre talking about making a fourth movie . hell on earth
21 notes · View notes
rotisseries · 1 year ago
Text
tired of people who want pjo movie references in the disney+ show. "logan lerman should've been-" i don’t care. "poker face in the casino-" actually i hope ms. gaga keeps her entire discography miles away from it. i don't care move on
#peace and love🫶#this isn't even to say I didn't like those parts of the movies or that I can't see the appeal in having references in the show#I'm just tired of HEARING about it oh my god#the pjo movies are getting all of the loving looking back they could need#just in the fact that people's opinions of them are clearly shifting#like people look back on them more fondly now they were VERY bad adaptations but fun movies overall with some good scenes#I think the shift in public opinion is also due to the d+ show btw I think the fact we have a good adaptation now#means people no longer feel the need to spend energy publicly and viscerally disavowing the movies anymore#but we still don't really need references to it!! especially when it's shit you're so clearly not getting I'm sorry#they're not putting logan lerman anywhere in there you know this look inside yourself#and they're DEFINITELY not putting poker face in the lotus hotel scene COME ON NOW THAT WOULD JUST BE STUPID#the lotus hotel scene is already going to undeniably get compared to the pjo movie version#and they. kind of have a lot to beat. the lotus hotel scene was so much fun#there's already going to be a bunch of “which was better?” discourse about it#using poker face would honestly probably not help. also then it's not gonna be a fun scene in it's own right#it's gonna be a fun and good scene to people just cause it references some bad movies#anyway I hope they pick a different song I saw some people say hotel room-#pjo#pjo tv#pjo disney+
90 notes · View notes
cozylittleartblog · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
∠( ᐛ 」∠)_ya boi made washi tapes, please consider Purchasing them. at cozylittleartshoppe on etsy. good print, good sticc, i am obsessed
#small business#washi tape#portal 2#infinity train#the owl house#etsy#support small business#there were sticky notes! they dont stick very good. they kinda have a couple problems. im still talkin it thru with my manu as of queueing#the print is ok - the print is great actually! they just dont. stick. and that's one thing#but they leave just a liiiitttle bit of sticky residue on the Next notepad in the stack#and you can see it#and it sticks just a little bit on the front of that next note. like 1/10 sticky; MAYBE 2/10 if ur unlucky.#if you tend to washi-tape your notes up anyway it's probably fine but im not sure what i'll do with them yet#but i have Two Hundred of them so uhhhhh#i'm thinking i'll sell them at a big discount. because they're still pretty ok as memo pads! but i have to see what my manu decides to do#which is such a shame because they LOOK really really really cool!!!!!! they just dont Sticky good#but also i have people buy seconds all the time and say 'i dont even know whats wrong with this' so i wonder if#my standards are way too high and people really would be ok buying these for like 50% off or something#hrmmmm. send dms/replies/asks (anons on) if you have any opinions#im hearing from other shop owners that generally unless its officially post-it brand it doesnt stick very well#but custom print post its are very expensive OTL so i think for now i'll just make non-stick post its in the future#the washis are beautiful and perfect though. i love the washis. beautiful perfect flawless tapes. they even have stickers on the side!!
353 notes · View notes
medicinemane · 7 months ago
Text
Mike johnson has so god damn much blood on his hands, obviously Ukrainian blood, but also plenty of American blood
Refusing to renew something that helps vets exposed to atomic blast and Americans who were downwind of the fall out... it's just sick. I can't fucking stand mike johnson, he's one of the worst scum to ever be in congress, and that's fucking saying something
"Johnson refused to allow House members to vote on bipartisan legislation to renew and improve the program"
Fucking quivering little pimple seems to have a real MO for just wringing his hands while insisting it's not his fault, he just can't do the one fucking part of his job of putting shit up to a vote... oh boo hoo, so sad, he'll just have to unilaterally let funding expire on things instead of literally just putting it up to our elected representatives to see if they want to vote yay or nay
Single handedly make the choices but it's not his fault when they work out how they do
Murderer
#I'm sorry; I both genuinely hate the man and will never forgive him; so seeing this just adds more fuel to that fire#and I'm also genuinely pissed to hear that we aren't gonna be bothering to fucking help out people we fucked over#it's fucking sick#listen; I try not to talk politics too much and I try not to tell people how to vote cause it's not really my business#and cause I don't like arguing with people on tumblr; waste of my time#but for all the dems many many many many many fucking flaws; it's shit like this that makes me hate the gop#every last line about sticking up for rural or poor people or whatever is such a fucking lie#god bless our troops... unless it would cost money to compensate them for making them stand near atomic detonations#at every turn I see fucking simple easy decent bipartisan policy shot down but fuckers like johnson; who is the gop at this point#fuck em; can't stand em#go fucking vote if you can in whatever country you're in; try and get a mail in ballot for your sake#I'm still not gonna tell you how to vote but uh... maybe keep in mind when someone's hands are fucking caked in blood#and keep in mind what kind of company people keep in their political party#fucking murder#cause inaction is murder as sure as if he stood their and kept them from getting treatment directly#removing the funding to let these people get cancers and stuff operated on#it's the same as murder#and again; that's not even going back to him personally; like literally it was just him and him alone#holding up aid to Ukraine for months because he refused to put it to the floor#where... oh look... once it was put to the floor it passed just fine (with a fucking tiktok ban added)#(hate that site but I hate government overreach with this kinda shit more)#one of the few people in this world I think I actually truly hate#I'm never gonna fucking stomach the 'he was so brave for holding a vote' shit lie#bullshit; if he had a spine or a soul he would have brought Ukraine aid to the floor before funding ran out#just like if he had a spine or a soul he'd have brought this radiation victim funding to the floor before it ran out#almost like there's a fucking pattern here of him squirming like a pus filled pimple simpering about how he just can't do his job#can't do the one fucking thing he's supposed to do and bring shit to the floor for a vote#I have more opinions on him; but if I said how I really feel right now I think it would get me put on a list#and... sadly just cause of who I am; if I were in a room alone with him I think I'd just lay into him instead of beating his ass#but he's a fucking monster and reading this story just now... I'm almost seeing red with how much it's pissing me off
3 notes · View notes
bugdogg · 1 year ago
Text
if i ever seem brave for some of the stuff i admit on here, just know its cause idk how to keep shit to myself. i cower at the thought of judgement and then proceed to expose my whole ass to tumblr anyway, because i dont have a working filter
Tumblr media
#tags are filled with worried rambling again#i hear a laugh track play whenever my anxiety flares up#im scared of what other people think of me which in itself is funny#ik others opinions of me arent an indicator of me being a bad person#other people arent gonna kno my whole personality from the stuff i draw#i fear judgement despite experiencing nothing but positive feedback on this site because i keep reading into the small things as negative#i know all this and still wither away in my shell knowing all this im saying is what id tell others if they were suffering with it#i walk in this circle and do it thousand times til i pass out from the exhaustion and later wonder y i was worried in the first place#i want to be able to say “who cares they dont know you” but ive been raised by people who spent almost every conversation-#with me basically saying they know me very well and know whats wrong with me and ive been raised believing everyone knows more than me#i worry of being so serious and actually genuine like this but this is how i like to be sometimes#stupidly thinking too much into things and laughing at myself for it and wondering why i would put myself down on something id encourage-#others to do#i worry about losing people because they wont like all of me but they wont know that unless they see the whole picture#i find myself disgusting w/ my thoughts and the things i wanna create but i dont think that of others and its strange#weird ass moment here.....#i had a really good day today got a job and finished my first tattoo#im happy right now despite the shit i just spewed#im figuring myself out for the first time in maybe years#i just wish all the hateful shit i absorbed over those years fades away soon#and i hope i stop caring so bad lol#anywayyyyy have a wonderful rest of your weekkk <3 if u read this
4 notes · View notes
chisungie · 15 days ago
Text
.
#helpp i know sometimes ppl use ai for school TO SUMMARIZE really long readings when theyre short on time#like i still dont think thats. ideal. but i can understand it.#what i cant understand is using ai writing for assignments.. which ive had ppl proudly talking abt before.. ew#and recently my brothers been using ai for like. cover page and resume layouts but like..#wait actually i think i could solve my brothers layout problem if he just wants to remake his old one but ANYWAY..#hes sounded pretty happy abt it and it makes me feel a little bad but even my parents r like. why r u using ai 💀#AND IM GLAD bc theyre usually. not right w their opinions im ngl#idk whats my dads deal with it but my moms is that people are getting lazier or dumber and not doing things on their own#and thats part of why i want my brother to stop too but hes stubborn and he probs like that it saves him some time#but genuinely i think he spent a good amount of time generating layouts and even asked me abt it#but i probably couldve remade his in google docs in less.. and he'd be able to edit and adjust everything to his liking too#idk why i just realized i could remake it today😭 saw the side column and my brain shut off idk! its possible even w my limited knowledge#ALSO ON AI. heard from a cousin whos in his late teens say that he has friends who are “dating” their ai bots?#like snapchat ai chats? girl huh#like i knew abt c.ai and shit but the snapchat bot? if ur on snap then just talk to people 😭#like i knew people would freak out that would freak out whenever c.ai was down for maintenance n shit#but i think even they have more awareness than the people who go around announcing theyre dating their chat ai#and like i get it! bot says everything u wanna hear n ur like ooh🥺#but like. at the end of the day thats still just a chat ai.. and apart from the “wtf” factor. i do feel bad if ppl cant remember that😭#where was i going w this umm. using ai writing! bad! and im not even gonna get started on art 💀#i think for me also part of it is like. do u really want to write to other ppl in some ai's words and not ur own?#and ai can generate u as many nice looking resumes as u want but when u need to update it ull have to redo the process of#generating a new one or a similar one all over again if u dont have access to it in a way where u can make edits..#like its just a waste of your time and the writing isnt sincere idk. ig it matters less if u think ppl wont see it#but i heard ppl r doing it for creative writing applications to universities too and its like. why? what are u writing#a prompt? girl get the fuck out of here#anyway. will quit yapping 💀 ai bad#44597
0 notes
phantomrose96 · 11 months ago
Text
If anyone wants to know why every tech company in the world right now is clamoring for AI like drowned rats scrabbling to board a ship, I decided to make a post to explain what's happening.
(Disclaimer to start: I'm a software engineer who's been employed full time since 2018. I am not a historian nor an overconfident Youtube essayist, so this post is my working knowledge of what I see around me and the logical bridges between pieces.)
Okay anyway. The explanation starts further back than what's going on now. I'm gonna start with the year 2000. The Dot Com Bubble just spectacularly burst. The model of "we get the users first, we learn how to profit off them later" went out in a no-money-having bang (remember this, it will be relevant later). A lot of money was lost. A lot of people ended up out of a job. A lot of startup companies went under. Investors left with a sour taste in their mouth and, in general, investment in the internet stayed pretty cooled for that decade. This was, in my opinion, very good for the internet as it was an era not suffocating under the grip of mega-corporation oligarchs and was, instead, filled with Club Penguin and I Can Haz Cheezburger websites.
Then around the 2010-2012 years, a few things happened. Interest rates got low, and then lower. Facebook got huge. The iPhone took off. And suddenly there was a huge new potential market of internet users and phone-havers, and the cheap money was available to start backing new tech startup companies trying to hop on this opportunity. Companies like Uber, Netflix, and Amazon either started in this time, or hit their ramp-up in these years by shifting focus to the internet and apps.
Now, every start-up tech company dreaming of being the next big thing has one thing in common: they need to start off by getting themselves massively in debt. Because before you can turn a profit you need to first spend money on employees and spend money on equipment and spend money on data centers and spend money on advertising and spend money on scale and and and
But also, everyone wants to be on the ship for The Next Big Thing that takes off to the moon.
So there is a mutual interest between new tech companies, and venture capitalists who are willing to invest $$$ into said new tech companies. Because if the venture capitalists can identify a prize pig and get in early, that money could come back to them 100-fold or 1,000-fold. In fact it hardly matters if they invest in 10 or 20 total bust projects along the way to find that unicorn.
But also, becoming profitable takes time. And that might mean being in debt for a long long time before that rocket ship takes off to make everyone onboard a gazzilionaire.
But luckily, for tech startup bros and venture capitalists, being in debt in the 2010's was cheap, and it only got cheaper between 2010 and 2020. If people could secure loans for ~3% or 4% annual interest, well then a $100,000 loan only really costs $3,000 of interest a year to keep afloat. And if inflation is higher than that or at least similar, you're still beating the system.
So from 2010 through early 2022, times were good for tech companies. Startups could take off with massive growth, showing massive potential for something, and venture capitalists would throw infinite money at them in the hopes of pegging just one winner who will take off. And supporting the struggling investments or the long-haulers remained pretty cheap to keep funding.
You hear constantly about "Such and such app has 10-bazillion users gained over the last 10 years and has never once been profitable", yet the thing keeps chugging along because the investors backing it aren't stressed about the immediate future, and are still banking on that "eventually" when it learns how to really monetize its users and turn that profit.
The pandemic in 2020 took a magnifying-glass-in-the-sun effect to this, as EVERYTHING was forcibly turned online which pumped a ton of money and workers into tech investment. Simultaneously, money got really REALLY cheap, bottoming out with historic lows for interest rates.
Then the tide changed with the massive inflation that struck late 2021. Because this all-gas no-brakes state of things was also contributing to off-the-rails inflation (along with your standard-fare greedflation and price gouging, given the extremely convenient excuses of pandemic hardships and supply chain issues). The federal reserve whipped out interest rate hikes to try to curb this huge inflation, which is like a fire extinguisher dousing and suffocating your really-cool, actively-on-fire party where everyone else is burning but you're in the pool. And then they did this more, and then more. And the financial climate followed suit. And suddenly money was not cheap anymore, and new loans became expensive, because loans that used to compound at 2% a year are now compounding at 7 or 8% which, in the language of compounding, is a HUGE difference. A $100,000 loan at a 2% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, accrues to $121,899. A $100,000 loan at an 8% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, more than doubles to $215,892.
Now it is scary and risky to throw money at "could eventually be profitable" tech companies. Now investors are watching companies burn through their current funding and, when the companies come back asking for more, investors are tightening their coin purses instead. The bill is coming due. The free money is drying up and companies are under compounding pressure to produce a profit for their waiting investors who are now done waiting.
You get enshittification. You get quality going down and price going up. You get "now that you're a captive audience here, we're forcing ads or we're forcing subscriptions on you." Don't get me wrong, the plan was ALWAYS to monetize the users. It's just that it's come earlier than expected, with way more feet-to-the-fire than these companies were expecting. ESPECIALLY with Wall Street as the other factor in funding (public) companies, where Wall Street exhibits roughly the same temperament as a baby screaming crying upset that it's soiled its own diaper (maybe that's too mean a comparison to babies), and now companies are being put through the wringer for anything LESS than infinite growth that Wall Street demands of them.
Internal to the tech industry, you get MASSIVE wide-spread layoffs. You get an industry that used to be easy to land multiple job offers shriveling up and leaving recent graduates in a desperately awful situation where no company is hiring and the market is flooded with laid-off workers trying to get back on their feet.
Because those coin-purse-clutching investors DO love virtue-signaling efforts from companies that say "See! We're not being frivolous with your money! We only spend on the essentials." And this is true even for MASSIVE, PROFITABLE companies, because those companies' value is based on the Rich Person Feeling Graph (their stock) rather than the literal profit money. A company making a genuine gazillion dollars a year still tears through layoffs and freezes hiring and removes the free batteries from the printer room (totally not speaking from experience, surely) because the investors LOVE when you cut costs and take away employee perks. The "beer on tap, ping pong table in the common area" era of tech is drying up. And we're still unionless.
Never mind that last part.
And then in early 2023, AI (more specifically, Chat-GPT which is OpenAI's Large Language Model creation) tears its way into the tech scene with a meteor's amount of momentum. Here's Microsoft's prize pig, which it invested heavily in and is galivanting around the pig-show with, to the desperate jealousy and rapture of every other tech company and investor wishing it had that pig. And for the first time since the interest rate hikes, investors have dollar signs in their eyes, both venture capital and Wall Street alike. They're willing to restart the hose of money (even with the new risk) because this feels big enough for them to take the risk.
Now all these companies, who were in varying stages of sweating as their bill came due, or wringing their hands as their stock prices tanked, see a single glorious gold-plated rocket up out of here, the likes of which haven't been seen since the free money days. It's their ticket to buy time, and buy investors, and say "see THIS is what will wring money forth, finally, we promise, just let us show you."
To be clear, AI is NOT profitable yet. It's a money-sink. Perhaps a money-black-hole. But everyone in the space is so wowed by it that there is a wide-spread and powerful conviction that it will become profitable and earn its keep. (Let's be real, half of that profit "potential" is the promise of automating away jobs of pesky employees who peskily cost money.) It's a tech-space industrial revolution that will automate away skilled jobs, and getting in on the ground floor is the absolute best thing you can do to get your pie slice's worth.
It's the thing that will win investors back. It's the thing that will get the investment money coming in again (or, get it second-hand if the company can be the PROVIDER of something needed for AI, which other companies with venture-back will pay handsomely for). It's the thing companies are terrified of missing out on, lest it leave them utterly irrelevant in a future where not having AI-integration is like not having a mobile phone app for your company or not having a website.
So I guess to reiterate on my earlier point:
Drowned rats. Swimming to the one ship in sight.
36K notes · View notes
nyukaart · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Lmao the panels are so unorganized
I like to think that each batkid had a different experience with their first Gala for example,
Dicks first Gala was hectic but he enjoyed the attention in a way,Bruce only brought him to a Gala a few months after he adopted him so he can settle down more. Dick enjoyed the attention for the most part,reminded him of performing again just.. socially
Jason was STRESSED. When more then 5 people tried talking to him ran away sobbing cause bro did not prepare for all that
Tim was pretty neutral,he'd gone to Galas before,maybe not as big but he just didn't really react as much,the most chill imo
Steph was having the time of her life,she started talking to all the media interviewers, thought it was funny how rich people think and act like (mimicked their behavior to fit in and hear about CEO gossip that she'll tell the others about)
Duke is a little stressed cause he expected big but not THAT big. He kept his distance from the crowd at first but slowly started talking more,he didn't mind but it wasn't the best experience
Cass was overwhelmed but she set her boundaries immediately and just left if someone didn't get the hint. Would go completely silent if someone annoyed her too much and they'd just back off
Damian is just looking down on everyone there but still keeps a slight face. He had to be constantly scolded for running his mouth too much . He'd just be starting his genuine opinion on someones outfit but it'd come off as offensive (he had to go through PR training)
Map appears and disappears through out the Gala, you see her talking to a big group of people then she's gone for like five minutes, but overall she thinks it's interesting to see how all the major socialites talking to one another
Barbara talks to a few people but mainly just chilled around and talked to Dick during her first Gala,they just did their own thing while the adults around them did theirs
5K notes · View notes
starlit-mansion · 1 year ago
Text
i still keep getting recommended posts about the james somerton debacle (unsurprising) and i swear to god, at this point i've spent more time trying to remember what my reaction was to watching his yoi video a while back while half-sleep deprived or smth than i a) spent watching the video and b) spent thinking about any other creator i watched one mid video from and ignored after
#at least i remember specifically deciding that blaire trianglehead was too slow paced and dull to keep listening to after about 3 vids#but also the subjects were really... ghoulish borderline true crime like the leggings scam vid that was 1/3 botched surgery talk#at least in my memory. and her dispassionately talking about it rather than sticking to the subject at hand and having little opinion#put me right off my lunch and i was done#somerton was allll up in my recs just before the bomb dropped and i was half keeping an eye out for a new vid about a subject i cared about#but it was literally all stuff i'm sick to death of. didn't want to hear about evil gays or vampires or if barbie is camp#it was all very... stuff i was already tired of seeing on tumblr and i didn't think i'd get anything new out of#but i was still keeping him in mind because i thought he was a type of person that had little presence in the video essay scene#lol in retrospect#but i do actually try to keep an eye out for creators with different backgrounds. esp black creators. and accept that i might disagree a bi#or find parts of their perspective a little uncomfortable or off-putting. so i probably would have forgiven some of the misogyny tbh#not that it's something that like. idk i should do to punish myself. it's not like there isn't a lot of microaggressions from women#but the fact that it was proven that so many of those were trumped up for show was. honestly a huge betrayal?#people are genuinely cruel to marginalized creators and pretending that it's worse than it is and flopping for sympathy is so galling#it's really easy to be like 'oh i would have never been taken in' just because there was already something keeping me at arms length#but i know that isn't true. i'm a freakin easy mark! you don't even want to know how many podcast/youtube sponsorships i've tried#and also sometimes i find something initially off-putting about a youtuber and later get into them more and find them charming#i genuinely don't think that i have unimpeachable first impressions and sometimes i test them later to see if they still hold
1 note · View note