#but i still need to practice | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

despair-tea · 8 months ago

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Aim to kill. Don't imagine defeat. What point is there in picturing it? You're going to find the line that takes you to certain victory in mortal combat - only a fool would entertain the shadow of death that far.

Aim to kill. You play with your food too much. Don't just play to sate your bloodthirst. Cool that blood of yours - you need to view things more objectively. Always thinking about what you want to do - predictable, laughable, a liability.

Aim to kill. Your opponent will not hesitate.

Will you keep growing, or will you die on this hill?

I don't want to die. I don't want to die.

I don't want to die, so I'm going to surpass my limits, right now.

...Wishful thinking. Start again. From the beginning this time. Clearly you've still got the heart of a novice.

#my post #random musings #fighting games #i'm unsatisfied but i did pretty well #i did pretty well but i'm not satisfied #i'm happy but i want to do better #i love my friends but i need to kill them #i need to kill them even though i love them #i need to love them enough to kill them #look at them with eyes unflinching #see their weaknesses #the ebb and flow of their biorhythm #that unguarded moment #the gap in their knowledge #the reverse scale that i can use to control them #so true for all my opponents #murder them with all of my love #i don't need to fear them #or respect them #but i need to know exactly who they are #so i can crush them perfectly #i pray that I can overcome this hill #and that i will see it when i do #practicing right now won't help me at combo breaker. that fate was sealed three months ago i'm sure #but i still need to practice #every little bit matters

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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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vaperarmand · 1 year ago

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ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to speculate about the sexual and romantic undertones of celebrities’ professional relationships

#thinking about the larry thing again. all my life i’ve been a believer 🙏#obviously many times of misguided beliefs were there before i like. learned how the world works. now i practice rpf discernment #but quite frankly there’s nothing like the drug of looking at star wars ot promo and being like man.#carrie fisher and harrison ford definitely fucked didn’t they.#and then for carrie fisher to drop the princess diarist and be like yeah me and harrison had the most torrid 70s affair #you can possibly imagine.#VINDICATIONNNNN #quite frankly they are the reason i still believe something similar happened with gillovny. we just need the memoir drop #rpf quiz

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isjasz · 10 months ago

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[Day 246]

More background practice but it got out of hand goshdangit .png

They chilling :D

#dddaily4sherin #impulsesv #geminitay #grian #goodtimeswithscar #mumbo jumbo #ethoslab #if you squint you can also find a skizz #hermitcraft #hermitcraft season 10 #hermitblr #I really really heavily referenced the screenshot tho ngl so I still need more practice o7 #rip my french reading ig why am I like this 😭😭😭😭😭#bging is honestly so fun tho ARHGJRJE #ive been using way too much orange and blue tho i should switch it up sometime hmmmmmmmm #my art

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barnespls · 4 months ago

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Embrace that old bastard.

#armandaniel #iwtv #interview with the vampire #iwtv fanart #Armand #daniel molloy #barnespls art #devils minion #thumbs up…. still not happy with how I draw Armand pls send backup immediately #i need to draw them like m*rdering each other next time actually #this is just practice brotherrrr #the more i stare at this the less i like it. sorry #pls be nice

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faunandfloraas · 11 months ago

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Honestly I think a lot of people who have never made a gif for tumblr don't get that it does actually take time and effort, its not just rip it from a video and post it- you have to download the video, in my case I have a video player installed that grabs continuous caps, figure out what parts you need, you have to open those in photoshop or gimp, depending on where you got photoshop you might be paying for it every month and then on top of that is actually sizing, cropping, colouring, sharpening, adding text, etc. etc. like it is something that takes time and effort for which the only real reward is creating something that makes you happy and hopefully people reblog it with a nice or funny tag, so maybe keep that in mind the next time you think gif makers are being mean or unfair for being upset about reposts. It is its own little artform that is fairly unique to this website, and that's a big aspect of why I have always loved tumblr, if all the gifmakers stopped posting things would be a lot more boring around here.

#like its well known reposting art or fic is rude so idk why gifs are free game #and why people are always so ~its just a gif~ okay well if its *just* a gif then you go and make one to that quality #oh wait you cant bc it actually does take time and practice #ive been at this for years and i still dont know all the tips and tricks #also the reason i mention all the software needed is bc like. you have to find install learn and it takes up space on the drive #so just reblog stuff and appreciate people that make fun content

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wasyago · 11 months ago

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a random cleo in armor

#wanted to draw here but didn't have any ideas. when in doubt draw armor☝️#cleo is fun to draw i like her color scheme. but i still need to get better at drawing different body types #this one isn't bad but i feel like i could've done better. need to practice more #hermitcraft #zombiecleo #my art #sketch #also im rushing to post all the backlogged hc art before season 10 starts so there will be 2(+) post per day until then #it's not necessary but i feel like otherwise it'll just drown in the new stuff

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 8 months ago

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Unsolved Mysteries.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #Spoilers: It was Wei Wuxian the whole time!#Once again this one was on the chopping block but I saved it for just a better comic flow.#Admittedly I do have a critique of the pacing here. Namely that we really should have ended the flashback when WWX fell.#And then gone back to present time for a bit - or even go to a different flashback.#The sense of time passing isn't as strong as it *could* be.#We get *told* three months pass and that they've been looking for WWX. But to the audience it's been...15 min.#Less than seven minutes if you count the flute playing.#This guy when through a whole aesthetic and persona shift in less time than it takes to walk through a corn field.#Guy who listened to less than half an emo album and dyed all his clothes black. And jorted all his jeans.#Timeskips can be sudden and work out just fine! I personally feel like this one would be stronger with better pacing.#Feel free to disagree with me!#In case anyone is wondering why JC and LWJ are still holding hands: 1) Haunted house episode.#2) I needed to practice drawing hand holding at some point. Might as well get the rough and sloppy ones out with these two.

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starscream-is-my-wife · 2 months ago

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This is part 1 of a continuation for my other post where LL Megatron gets trapped in the G1 universe, I was thinking about how someone would go insane in this cartoon world and thought "what if Megatron had someone else to accompany him" so, I gave Starscream an existential crisis

Edit: pt 2 here

#guys i cant continue this comic I'll get too attached to the “oh its g1 animation errors excuse”#“this has great potential to be hilarious” makes angst instead #starscream i love you but your shoulder spike thingies are annoying to draw #theres only two parts but i wanted to keep my streak of posting art daily #DO NOT BE FOOLED BY HIS CUTE FACE HES STILL EVIL hes just having alot of thoughts right now #sorry if my handwriting is hard to read at the end #i print when i can but i... unironicly write in cursive #transformers #megastar #megascream #megatron #starscream #megatron x starscream #transformers fanart #transformers g1 #tf idw #transformers au #ok looking at this a day later i realize how bad the flow is #note to self draw just make comics on the same canvas in the future #i will say though Ive never made comics before its pretty good for character angle practice! I need to do more of these #also use a character ref sheet!!! I gotta look at refs if im gonna do this cause its kinda obvious most of my drawings are from memory #G1 x LL AU

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xxplastic-cubexx · 2 months ago

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you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier

#xmen #mcu #xmen movies #xmen first class #charles xavier #professor x #snap sketches #todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous #i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself #in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society #sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM #and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that #NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair #for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY #the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig #i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented #anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik #genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show #more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day #bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days

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lurking-loaf · 1 month ago

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Some quick dca doodles because I’ve been feeling antsy lately.

#loaf art #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf moon #moondrop #fnaf sun #sundrop #been wanting to draw and post art of the dca but my wip is still not done #what better way to finish off said wip than by starting something new?#the images are listed in chronological order of getting drawn - the arrows also indicate this #was able to use smaller scribbles for the later one which was the goal #random shapes for random poses since I need practice doing less static ones #I accidentally drew on the blob layer of sun laying down and noticed too late so that one doesn't get to be in the comparison image

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takomakiii · 3 months ago

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getting dsmp content on my timeline again because of parkour civilization and it activated the maggots in my brain like sleeper agents that just heard the code word. ill never be free from these little freaks theyre like microplastics. heres the two most normal guys on the server

#my art #me when im normal and i do normal prison rp with my normal friend #i always cackle when i remember sam telling stream that he and dream just like. did that. for fun. what is wrong with them #ALRIGHT MAN!!! WHATEVA #do your weirdly charged rp that youll never tell anyone about. fine!! christ #dsmp #c!dream #c!awesamdude #dsmp fanart #i domt like the coloring on this . i need to practice.... but i have no time!!!#local bitch has a job and is a college third year and is STILL drawing these fucking minecrafters

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greyhands · 1 year ago

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A few additional and random sketches of Gale. I couldn't do more this week due to that whole art theft situation (I can't thank you enough for your help with this nightmare ❤️).

(sorry for the bad quality, most of them were pencil sketches I quickly lined and colored on csp)

#Gale #bg3 gale #gale dekarios #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 fanart #quick sketches #I'm good with the hairstyle now #but the face' structure... I still need to practice ^^;;#my art

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domi091 · 9 months ago

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