#but i really wanted to make something for this year's anniversary
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Kiss Me
It was nearing midnight on the tenth anniversary of her mother’s death and Julie was wondering if this would be the year she’d finally get up the courage to ask Luke to kiss her.
Again.
She’d asked him once before, five years ago on this very night.
She tried not to be obvious as she watched him from her side of the sofa, but his presence was more distracting than usual. Maybe because it was just the two of them left watching a movie they’d both seen before, or maybe it was the thought of what had happened last time bouncing around in her head.
She’d been a little tipsy, but not drunk. Luke had gotten them a bottle of her favorite pink wine even though she shouldn’t have had a favorite wine at all yet, being only twenty. But back then the anniversary of her mami’s passing always brought so much pain with it she tried to numb it as best she could. Luke had been the one to make sure she didn’t do anything too stupid ever since he’d rescued her from a party at Carrie’s house two years prior, before she could finish taking her shirt off and jump in the pool.
Flynn had been distracted with Carrie that night and Alex and Reggie seemed more inclined to let her do what she wanted, even if what she wanted was to get so shitfaced she threw up on her keyboard.
That had been another unfortunate anniversary.
But, five years ago, Luke had been hiding out in her studio garage having run away from home, so they’d been spending a lot of time alone together outside of band practice.
She’d finished her second large glass of wine and then crawled into Luke’s lap and asked him to make out with her. She remembered telling him the wine hadn’t been enough, and she needed him to help her forget, for just a little while.
“Julie, you don’t know what you’re doing.” He’d gripped her hips tight, pushing her back to sit more on his legs than his lap.
“I know exactly what I’m doing.” She remembered leaning forward and how he’d ducked his head.
“You know how I feel about you, but the band needs to come first right now.” He’d looked up at her from under his lashes and she’d felt like such a shit. “I need us to make it, and I can’t risk losing you no matter how much…” He’d sighed and dropped his eyes again, shaking his head.
The rejection had stabbed her in the heart, but she’d understood. He couldn’t go home until the band succeeded. She’d already lost her mother, but Luke still had a chance to get his back.
She’d slid out of his lap to the sofa beside him giving him a tight smile. He was right, she’d been impulsive and was risking messing up this amazing thing they had just to ease the pain in her heart for a little while.
But the wine made her both stupid and reckless and she couldn’t seem to stop herself from suggesting something a little more chase, just to see what it’d be like. She’d leaned into him and said, “Aren’t you curious?” Because as practical as she knew in her head it would be not to kiss, her body still very much wanted to know what he tasted like, what those full lips would feel like pressed against hers.
He’d taken her hand and turned sideways so he could look her in the eyes and if the rest of the night was a little blurry, she never forgot what he said next.
“Julie, I’m not sure I could stop kissing you if I ever did.”
Five years later and she could hear those words in her head like he’d just said them.
She wondered if he remembered.
She’d never really stopped wanting to kiss him.
Through boyfriends and girlfriends, the desire had faded to the background for the most part but was never really gone.
Ten years since Rose Molina had died and in ten more Julie would be the age her mami was when she passed. Was she really going to spend whatever time she got left not going after the one thing she’d wanted as much as she’d ever wanted anything?
The band was doing well. Successful even. They weren’t internationally known yet, but they were on the verge of a major break.
Luke had made up with his parents. They’d all grown up, moved out, and were making a pretty decent living playing music.
Flynn was at her parent’s helping her mom with her dad who had broken his leg last week doing something fifty-five-year-old men shouldn’t be doing so they wouldn’t be interrupted.
She wasn’t dating anyone.
She was pretty sure Luke wasn’t dating anyone.
The question was, was she willing to risk rejection again just to know what it would be like to kiss him. To finally find out if the chemistry she felt every time they were together was more than just the music that ran through both of their hearts and veins.
~*~
Luke could feel Julie’s eyes on him as he pretended to watch the movie. He really should go. It was getting late and the longer he stayed the more he didn’t actually want to leave.
He wished Flynn or one of the guys had been able to stay. Take some of the tension he could feel in the room away. He wasn’t sure what was going on with her tonight. He’d spent the anniversary of her mother’s death with Julie for the last eight years.
Some years had been loud and chaotic with partying and drinking. A few had been quiet and mostly ended in big puppy piles with their friends. He could handle either version of Julie on the anniversary of the loss of Rose Molina, as long as she made it through to the other side without hurting herself or others, he’d always felt like the night was a success.
But tonight felt different. They’d had pizza and chatted about the new album they were working on but didn’t fall into a writing session like they did nine times out of ten. They’d gossiped about Alex and Willie and when they were going to get married or more importantly who would propose first. They talked about her dad and the date he’d been on last week that had him back home by eight. They’d tried not to snicker as he got them to delete the app off his phone as he informed them all he definitely wasn’t ready to move on.
Luke had understood. He let his eyes slide over to Julie for a moment. He’d been trying to move on from her for years with little to no success. He tried dating, but it never lasted. He inevitably ended up pushing them away by talking about the band, Julie, too much. He’d tried casual relationships, but they only fed his physical needs, and he wanted more than that in his life.
Five years ago he did one of the stupidest things he’d ever done in his life. Right up there with eating poisoned hotdogs and spending the night in the ER trying not to die.
He’d turned Julie down when she asked him to kiss her. But even more importantly he didn’t talk to her about it the next day when she was for sure sober and ask if she’d been serious, see if she still wanted to kiss him without the half a bottle of wine coursing through her.
Because he wanted to kiss her. He had then and he did now. The only thing that had changed in the last five years was how successful they were now and how much he loved her. He hadn’t thought he could care about her more than he had then, but he’d been wrong. The way he felt about her then felt like standing in the sun until you started to sweat. Now it felt like he might burn alive from the inside out when he stood in the sunshine of her voice, her eyes, her smile.
That little part of his brain that had told her no that night still whispered what if it wasn’t good. What if she didn’t feel the same. What if changing the dynamic of their relationship broke the band up.
What if it was the best thing that ever happened in his whole life.
“Julie?” “Luke?”
He turned to see her biting back a grin. He should have been surprised at the determined look in her eyes, but he wasn’t.
She threw the blanket on her lap up onto the back of the sofa and slid over into his lap, never looking away from him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He placed one hand on her back and one on her knee as he took a deep shuddering breath.
“So.” Julie sighed.
“So.” He nodded.
“Five years ago…”
“You asked me to kiss you, and I said no.”
She nodded. “You said no.”
“Are you asking again?”
“Yes.” She licked her lips, her eyes dropping to his before flicking back up to his eyes. “But this will be the last time.”
He nodded. “I’m not sorry I told you no that night five years ago.”
She started to pull away.
“But!” He held her tight. “I should have brought it up again in the morning.” He reached up and tucked a curl behind her ear. “I should have asked to kiss you at least a couple of years before you asked me that first time.”
“Yeah?” A ghost of a smile quirked at the corner of her lips.
“Five years ago, I was too scared of losing everything, including you, to risk our friendship on the chance that we could be… more.”
“And now?”
He felt her threading fingers in the hairs on the back of his neck as he took another deep breath. “I’m not afraid anymore.”
She nodded before she started to lean closer and whispered inches from his lips. “I think we’ve put this off long enough.”
He put his finger between them and grinned when she pulled back with a frown.
“I told you five years ago I didn’t think I could stop kissing you if we ever did. Just wanna make sure we’ve said everything we need to…” He licked his lips. “For now.”
She snickered as she leaned in again. “You talk too much.”
Their lips met and Luke had been right. He didn’t think anything, but maybe the threat of bodily harm, would make him want to stop kissing Julie Molina.
She seemed to feel the same because neither of them spoke again for a very long time.
#jatp#julie and the phantoms#juke#happy juke jeudi!#not sure where this came from#just a little fluff#aged up characters#alive au#friends to lovers
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Nothing Ever After
Noah Sebastian x Reader x Vinny Mauro
Chapter Fourteen
chapter warnings: tiny mention of implied smut?
team vinny we are so up for the next few chapters :) sorry for the delay on posting this one, the next chapter might also be a little late because I'm soo busy this next week and I haven't had a chance to even begin editing it but as soon as I can I will get working on it because it's my favourite chapter I've written for this story so far and i really can't wait to share it with you!! <3
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“You don’t have to hide it from me, y’know?” Noah says, his hair falling over his eyes, hand gently placed on your waist as he smiles down at you, “I know how you feel about him.”
“What?”
“Vinny. I’ve seen the way you look at him, it’s okay if you’re in love with him, that’s why I’ve told him to meet us here.”
“Huh?” You laugh, "I'm not in love-"
“Look, he’s on his way.”
You look up and see Vinny walking towards the both of you, something looked different about him, but he was definitely still him.
“So you finally made your decision.” Vin smiles, a sparkle was in his eye that you had never seen before.
“What decision?” You didn't understand what was going on.
“You agreed.” Said Noah, his thumb drawing circles on your hip.
“To what?” You asked.
“I wasn’t too sure at first when Noah suggested it, baby,” Vinny began, “But the more I thought about it, the more I realised I wanted it.”
It finally clicked, and you understood why the both of them were here. A rush of excitement rushed through you, adreneline in your veins as you look between the two men in front of you. Your lips crashed into Vin’s as Noah’s found your neck, you’d had this thought many times before, but you never thought it would actually happen.
“God, I need you both,” you moan, feeling Vinny’s- or was it Noah’s hand cupping your breast, as the others' hand came down to your ass, “Please…”
“What do you think? Should we play nice?” Noah asked Vinny, who nodded his head.
"I think she deserves it."
"Please..." You whimpered, feeling Noah's hot breath tickle your ear as he whispered,
"Get on your knees, princess. Vin's being too kind, I think you need to earn it."
You dropped to your knees in front of Vinny, palming him over his joggers, the ache between your thighs was becoming unbearable as you tugged Vin's boxers down.
“Y/n.” You heard Vin pant as you took him in your mouth, your tongue dancing over his tip before you take him down your throat, Noah's voice whispering praises as he plays with your hair, “y/n…”
“Y/n! Rise and shine!” Vinny shouted, waking you from your nap.
“What the fuck, Vin!” You groaned, rubbing your eyes, “You just woke me up from the best dream I’ve had in years.”
“Oh yeah?” He smirked, “was I in it?”
“You wish.” You groaned, sitting up to stretch your arms, ignoring how your underwear felt slightly damp as you moved, making you feel rather uncomfortable. “What are you doing here anyway?”
“I broke my charger and Jolly’s letting me borrow his. Which one’s his bunk?”
“The one on top of mine.”
“Thanks.” He looks, and then freezes. He stands there in silence for a moment. You panicked internally, wondering if you were moaning his name in your sleep, “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, I guess.” You say, reaching around to see where you left your phone when you fell asleep to hide the redness of your cheeks.
“It’s going to sound insane.”
“Of course, it’s coming from you.” You smirk.
“Y/n, I’m serious.”
“Okay, sorry. Ask away.” You wondered what could be that serious.
“It’s my parent’s 40th wedding anniversary this weekend and they’re having a party, they're renewing their vows...”
“Okay…” You expected him to ask you for help to re-dye his hair or to find something to wear or-
“The thing is... My parents think I have a girlfriend, I’ve never told them I do or don’t, but they’re expecting me to bring someone. I, uh, wanted to ask you because,” you’d never seen Vinny look this nervous in the entire month that you’ve known him, “Well, I thought maybe you could bring your camera, I could tell them my ‘girlfriend’ is a photographer. I’ll make sure I tell them that we’ve broken up next week so they don’t keep asking about you or asking about our plans for the future or-”
"So you want me to be your imaginary girlfriend."
"No- Well, I mean it's not like, I mean you won't-"
“Vinny, it's okay,” you smile, “I’ll do it. I don’t know how I’ll explain it to the rest of the guys-”
“If any of them ask I’ll tell them you’re coming with me just as a photographer, I’ve already thought this through.”
“Wow,” you chuckle, surprised he'd really thought about this, “You certainly have.”
“So you’ll definitely come with me?” He asked, “I think my dad might be calling me later so I’ll let him know.”
“What kind of friend would I be if I said no,” you gave him an innocent smile, “Tell Mr Mauro I said hello.”
“Oh, I was just coming to wake you up.” You hear Noah’s voice, “We’ve checked into our rooms, I’m so glad we’re here for the next few days, I have so much work to get done.” He sighed, reaching for his laptop that he left in his bunk.
“Vin’s just told me his parents are having an anniversary party this weekend and they’ve asked me to be their photographer, isn’t that right, Vin?”
“Yeah," Vin scratches the back of his neck, "They’ve seen some of the pictures y/n's taken from the last few weeks and asked if she was free this weekend. It’s on Saturday night so we’ll stay there and come back on Sunday.”
“Oh that’s great,” Noah smiled, rubbing your shoulder, and all of a sudden seeing Noah and Vin both stood over you, you got a flashback to your dream. “And there you were weeks ago worrying you wouldn’t get booked.” You smiled back at him, agreeing.
"Anyway that's all I had to say," Vin smiled, spotting Jolly's phone charger. You had to look away as he reached up to Jolly's bunk, his sweater raising and exposing the trail of hair below his belly button- "See you guys!"
"Bye Vin." You give him a little wave as he walked off.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Once you’ve checked into your room and searched through your suitcase you realised you didn’t really have anything to wear for this type of occasion. You had party outfits, casual outfits, but nothing you could imagine wearing for an anniversary party.
You sent a text to Angela asking if she was busy in the next couple of days and wanted to go shopping with you, you knew her schedule and knew she had nothing going on during your guys' break. It was currently Thursday, and the party was on Saturday night, meaning you and Vinny would have to leave in the morning or the night before to make it to his parent's town in time.
Whilst you were sat on your bed looking online for outfit inspiration, you heard a knock at your door. You throw your phone down on the bed and get up to see who was disturbing you.
“Everything okay?” You ask, letting him in.
“Yeah, I just wanted to see you.” He smiled, shutting the door behind himself.
“You see me pretty much everyday, Noah.” You laughed, sitting back down on your bed.
“Yeah, but like you pointed out the other day, the only time we ever get to spend together alone is when you’re under me or pushed against a wall.” He chuckles, sitting with you, his back against the headboard. “I don’t remember the last time we had a proper conversation.”
“You warned me about how busy the tour life is, this just proves it, doesn't it?” You smiled, “I still can’t believe this past month has been real. I’ll never be able to repay Bryan or you guys for this.”
“I can think of a few ways you can repay me.” Noah smirks, and you shake your head.
“I thought you wanted to spend time with me without-”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry.” He held his hands up, thinking of a way to change the topic. “I don’t know if I ever asked you how you and Bryan met?”
“Through the photography club at school,” you explain, “I changed schools when I had just turned 14 and I had no friends, we had just moved to a new town, so at lunch I spent my time in the art classrooms and it just so happened they were starting a photography club in the class I’d go to. I wasn’t even that into photography or anything, but that's where I met Bryan. He was quite new to the school too and only had a handful of friends, so everyone who already had their friendship groups would sit together and because we didn’t have anyone we were just put together on a separate table. So over the weeks we finally started talking to each other, and realised we had a lot in common, then we just became best friends from there.” You smiled at the memory, wondering if Bryan still remembered it as clearly as you.
“It’s weird to think if that never happened you wouldn’t be here right now.” He said, “So you didn’t even want to get into photography?”
“No,” you laughed, “I guess it just sort of happened.”
“I’m glad it happened,” he smiled, “And I’m glad you’re here.”
As you looked into his eyes, you felt nothing but pure guilt. How could you not tell him about you and Vinny? You were sure he was feeling more for you than he’d let on, and you were about to go to a party with Vinny and pretend to be his girlfriend.
“Noah, look... There’s something I need to tell you.”
*Buzz buzz*
“Shit sorry I really need to take this-” Noah reached for his phone, answering it and rushing to leave your room.
You couldn’t say you didn’t try.
You groaned as he left, reaching for your phone to see if Angela’s replied to your texts yet.
“Ooh what kind of party are you going to ;)”
“I’m not doing anything this afternoon, I could come and pick you up if you want x”
You thought for a moment before you replied to her. You knew whatever Noah’s call was about was probably important, but there’s been countless times where he’s prioritised other things over you.
“I’m ready when you are x” You replied, leaving your phone on the bed as you went to find a hoodie and a pair of shoes, and then your door knocked again.
“I’m so sorry that was one of the guys from our record label asking about-”
“Angela’s coming to pick me up in a minute so I’ve gotta go, sorry Noah.” You snapped, not even bothering to look at him as you walk out of your room, shutting the door behind you and beginning to walk away.
“Y/n? Have I done something?” Noah asked, shaking his head in confusion. You stop in your tracks, thinking before you open your mouth.
“Every time I get a chance to spend time with you, or try to talk to you about something serious, something always comes up. I know things like this are out of your control but it happens too often and it pisses me off.”
“Like when?”
“Like when we’re occupied in bed and you suddenly get a call and you leave me laying there to answer it, like when we make plans and you’ve just so happened to forget you had an interview to do, or when we’re out and you see someone you know and you forget I’m even there. I don’t feel seen with you, Noah.”
“I’m not being funny, y/n, but we aren’t even together. To put it harshly, you always knew the band comes first, and if I remember right you just wanted casual sex, no actual relationship. So why does it bother you so much?”
Your jaw drops in disbelief at his words, he really went there.
“So I don’t mean anything to you?” Your heart was racing in your chest, you felt sick, angry and upset.
“I never fucking said that, did I?”
“You don’t need to say it, I know where I stand with you, Noah.” You argue, and other hotel guests slow down as they walk past, clearly trying to listen in on what’s happening.
“Can we not do this here?” Noah hisses.
“Good idea. I’ll see you later, Noah. I’m going out with Angela, because she cares about me, to buy a dress to wear to Vin’s family party because guess what, I bet on anything that he cares about me a whole lot more than you do.”
“You don’t know how I feel about you, y/n.” Noah says, the sound of defeat in his voice.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’ll see you later, y/n!” He mocks, walking in the opposite direction to you.
“Noah? What the fuck!”
He didn’t answer, he didn’t even bother to look at you.
You groaned, trying not to cry from the frustration, and made your way through the hotel to wait for Angela to pick you up.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
“So… What’s the occasion? You never told me when I asked.” Angela asked as you both searched through racks of clothes.
“Vinny invited me to his parent’s anniversary party.”
“Oh… So not anything slutty, okay…” She giggled.
“But get this, he told me that his parents think he has a girlfriend, he’s never told him that does or doesn’t, so he wants me to pretend to be his girlfriend for the night.”
“Well that’s a Vinny lie if I’ve ever heard one.”
“What?”
“He totally just said that to get you to go with him so he can show you off. He’s really close with his family, there’s no way they would think he’s dating someone if he hasn’t said he is.”
“Well we’ll see about that then,” you smirk, “But what if I do want to pretend to be his girlfriend for the night, that would definitely piss Noah off.”
“Oh... What’s he done now?” Angela stops looking and turns to you, her hand on her hip.
“Nothing, yet everything, he’s just really annoyed me." You sigh, "He turns up to my room to spend time with me but then he gets a call and he runs out, it’s not like I don’t know his business, surely he should be able to take work calls around me.”
“It sounds like he doesn’t trust you…” She frowned.
“Exactly!”
“Oh my god y/n look!” She pulls out a gorgeous red dress, making you gasp, “Try it on! Try it on!” You claps, handing it over to you.
“I don’t know if red’s my colour…”
“That's even more of a reason for you to try it on and see if it is!” She smirks, “...But I do know it’s Vin’s favourite colour.”
You give her a look, before taking it and heading to the changing rooms to try it on.
“I think it’s a little tight…” You say as you walk out, and Angela’s jaw drops as you do a little twirl, “What do you think?”
“I think you're the most gorgeous girl ever!" She grins, "And I think Vinny's going to ask you to be his girlfriend for real when he sees this.” She suddenly gasps, giving you a serious look as she hands you your phone back. “Send a picture to Noah.”
“Why? He thinks I’m only going as a photographer.”
“What?”
“Vin came up with the plan to tell the guys I was only invited because his parents wanted a photographer, I thought it was a pretty good lie.”
“Vinny came up with that one didn’t he,” she laughed, “I guess they’ll believe it though.”
“Noah did.” You check yourself out in the mirror, and eventually pull your phone out from your bag and take a couple pictures in the mirror. You’d think about whether it was a good idea to send them or not as you shopped for a new pair of shoes.
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“It’s actually pretty fortunate for you that there aren’t any shows this week,” you say as Vinny drives, “Did you plan the tour around this?”
“Kinda,” he says, looking over his shoulder as he turns onto his road, you wish you knew how he even made driving look so hot, “It's the longest tour we've done and knew we needed a break each month so we don’t all completely burn out, and it just so happened this weekend was during that break.”
Vinny thought it would be a good idea to hire a car from the city the guys were staying in for their break from tour to drive back to his house so the two of you could stay there for the night before taking his car and driving down to his parents town tomorrow.
“I don’t think my roommate’s here at the moment.” He says as he pulls up, parking the car in his driveway.
“Not that it matters,” you chuckle, checking your phone. You had sent the pictures to Noah yesterday, but you hadn’t heard from him since, he hadn’t even seen the messages. “What time have we got to leave tomorrow?”
“Probably around 12.” He says, getting out of the car and unlocking the door.
You smiled as you walked into his house, it was just how you’d pictured it. Framed awards on the walls and tour posters, a massive tv on the wall and a bong that he made sure to clarify was his roomate's. You turn around to see him bringing both yours and his suitcase in from the car, rather surprised by his strength as you see him carry them both up the steps to his porch with ease.
“Your house is so cute.” You smile, and by his reaction, he seemed rather offended.
“Cute?” He raised his eyebrows, as if to say 'seriously?' “Y/n I’m a guy…I live here with a guy… Our house is not cute!”
“Then how would you describe it?” You chuckle as he shuts the door behind him.
“I don’t know… Manly? Homely?"
You rolled your eyes, watching Vin put the keys away before he insisted on giving you a house tour, showing you around room by room.
“And this is where the magic happens!” He opens the door to the basement, putting his arm out as if to say ‘ladies first!’
“Do you know how creepy that sounds?” You laugh, slowly descending the staircase to his basement.
“This is where my drums are, I do my drum streams down here-”
“Can you give me a private show?” You gasped, but to your disappointment Vinny laughed and shook his head.
“I’ve been playing basically every other night for the last month! Surely you’ve heard enough.”
“Please?” You plead, watching as he tries to hide the smile on his face.
“Maybe later.” He gives in, walking you back up the stairs to his kitchen after showing you around the room.
“Can I request a song?”
“Depends,” he says, shutting the basement door, “Do I know it?”
“How am I supposed to know what you know, or don’t?”
“What is it?” He asked, reaching into his fridge, pulling out a sprite. “Want a drink?”
“Yes please,” you smiled, “I heard you played ‘somebody told me’ the night I wasn’t feeling well and stayed on the bus and you haven't played it again after…”
“So you want me to play it for you?” He asked, handing you a drink.
“Please? I’m coming to your parents’ anniversary party as your fake girlfriend, don’t you think you owe me something?”
“You’ve got a point there,” he acknowledges, “I need to shower first and pack for the weekend, but then I’ll do it.”
“Yay!” You grinned, “Can I take a shower after you?”
“Of course.” He smiled softly, “Also if you want my bed tonight I’ll sleep on the couch. I changed the sheets before I left for tour so they’re fresh-”
“I can’t kick you out of your own bedroom…” You frowned, “I’ll have the couch. I don’t care!”
“I will not let you sleep on my couch.” He chuckled, and a thought crossed your mind.
“If we were okay to share a bed the first night we met then I’m sure we’ll be okay again tonight, right?”
“If you're comfortable with that then we can.” He smiled, “I’m gonna go get in the shower, then it’ll be all yours. But in the meantime make yourself at home.”
“Thank you.” You said, watching as he left, walking up the stairs.
You made your way to his living room, getting comfy on the couch and scrolling through your phone. You tried not to think about Noah, but you couldn't help but wish he'd text you back. Whilst Vin was in the shower you considered calling him, but you didn't want to come across clingy. Maybe he just needed to calm down.
"I left my fucking shampoo in my bag." You heard Vinny laugh as he ran down the stairs, a white towel wrapped around his hips as he threw his suitcase onto the sofa beside you and searched through it.
You took a deep breath to calm your mind as you tried to be respectful, but you couldn't help but look at him. His wet curls, his bare chest, the bracelet on his wrist, the veins on his arms... You blinked, trying to concentrate on your phone but he definitely seemed to notice you staring, smirking before he walked back up the stairs.
You already knew it was going to be a long weekend.
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@rumoured-whispers @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @lma1986 @thisbicc @dominuslunae @miss570 @miamore0570 @jilliemiw86 @itsyaboinoah
#noah sebastian x reader#nothing ever after <3#vinny mauro x reader#noah sebastian fanfic#vinny mauro fanfic#motionless in white fanfic#bad omens fanfic
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Fanart for the upcoming anniversary of the webcomic Looking Glasses by @ferronickel. This wonderfully detailed Deltarune Fancomic is set a few years after the events of the game. With endearing characters and a truly intriguing plot, this story serves as a great read!
#i love just doing full on “cover art”. Ferronickel's comic has a lot which i love-#-so i figured i wanted to make something with multiple characters!#the titans have been pretty lowkey in the fandom so I love what ferronickel has done with them in the story.#I decided to choose a few easier(?) outfits for these guys.#Lancer's cat outfit is so out of pocket. it fits him so well. and Susie's pretty minimalist so i just went with the white t-shirt#I was iffy if I wanted to draw Ralsei black or white (bc i like the ch1 sprite a bit more) but his white form looks really good when drawn#So i went white and chose to draw his outfit in the Titan dream sequence. which was epic as heck!!!#i love drawing toothed creatures so the titan was very relaxing :)#congrats on the 1 year anniversary Ferronickel! You've made a wonderful comic so far!!!#my art#art#deltarune#looking glasses#get it bc Alice and the looking glass- wow :D#i know this is a little early -w-
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💚Happy April 3rd 👻 (Danno below)
[Last Year’s Post]
#danny phantom#danny fenton#danny phantom fanart#dannypocalypse#happy 20th anniversary#cloud/ice shadow art#20 years of Danny phantom and the fandom is still going#I love this silly day#really wanted to redraw last’s years drawing#I think I am going to make this my 1 year redraw challenge or something
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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updated my simself specifically to make this
#i've actually been wanting to do a render of me & the boys for a while#but i hate that kelly is taller than me#like. the audacity of him yk#but also i just can't find an accurate hair for myself#i'm just gonna have to learn how to make stuff bc kel & i both need proper curly hair#n e way. i had the urge to try my hand at animation again so. that's probably what i'll be doing in my free time for a bit#kel's birthday & the boys' 10 year anniversary is in april so i gotta plan something fun for that at some point#i realize that's still a couple of months away but#i have no idea what i want to do for either of those yet & i would really like to plan ahead#i'm not much of a plan ahead kind of person#rainyrambles#dl maybe
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So discacc's 3 year anniversary is coming up in 2 days. I've known I wouldn't be able to write an update chapter in time for it, nor am I motivated enough to do it, but I looked in my WIP chapter for it and was pleasantly surprised to find 3k words already written
So... I'm thinking about posting an update on discacc's anniversary, both to share what's been going on with discacc readers (who don't follow me here) & to share the 3k words I currently have written. It's not as good as an actual update, but it's SOMETHING... and it'll have to do.
#speculation nation#discacc shit#thinking that whenever i do come back to discacc officially. ill delete this chapter and reupload with the Actual chapter#once it's finished.#but for now. i wanna keep readers in the loop. and offer Something to make up for the near year of radio silence.#i posted updates the past 2 years on the anniversary and so i really want to this time too.#it's. to show discacc readers that Yes i do still care.#itnl may be my current shining baby but discacc has been so important to me#both for developing my writing and just. Everything that it is.#so. discacc (kind of) update in 2 days! keep ur eyes peeled!
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happy 1yr anniversary to when the illness festered. i had no idea what i was getting myself into. To think it has been 1 year and im still this fucked up from it. love you wonder game
#i had been on a little switch story binge#i had read element and pleiades bc i saw ppl recommending them#but i had no idea that wonder game was significant at ALL#but i am the BIGGEST sucker for alice in wonderland. the 1951 animated movie was my favorite movie ever#and i would watch it CONSTANTLY when i was a kid#my earliest memories consisting of me just knowing how much i loved this film#and well anyway i remembered natsume had an alice card so i was like omg! i really should read that!!#and to get myself in the mood i even rewatched the 1951 film because i thought itd be a fun little refresher before i began reading#I DID NOT. EXPECT THE STORY TO MAKE ME CRY#AND I DID NOT EXPECT THE STORY TO MAKE ME A NATSUMUGIER#THIS STORY CAUSED IT ALL. IT RUINED ME. ALL BECAUSE I WANTED TO READ A SILLY LITTLE STORY WITH ELEMENTS BASED OFF#MY FIRST EVER SPECIAL INTEREST. ABSOLUTELY SICKENING#HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY BABE IM FUCKING RUINED FOREVER#nat rambles#i dont think u guys realize how deep my love for switch goes#bc like everything about them is a reminder of everything ive ever loved and found comfort in throughout my life#especially my younger years#they really do just bring me such unbelievable amounts of joy i almost feel undeserving to have something resonate this deeply with me#because thats how deep it goes#BUT ANYWAY#i cant show vulnerability online. Pretend i didnt say anything.#cant have people find out im a real person with real feelings with unique experiences in life that shaped the person you see before u today
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it’s kinda funny how the people that had the most followers or already get enough notes on their content were oddly yet strongly anti-reblog during that whole debacle. a lot of nasty people shamed other simblrs especially who hardly get any notes of their well deserved content because “they shouldn’t want attention” in order to run a simblr…i really hope karma bites y’all in the ass one day hopefully next year 😇
#thinking about on my first year on here and remembering mostly how unnecessarily nasty people on here over simple shit#if you want more reblogs notes and attention on your content which you took your time to make and curate then that is perfectly fine#this is literally social media and some of y’all are really talented to let somebody with 1k+ followers and notes to tell you shouldn’t#desire more on here….it’s literally human nature#anyways i love reblogging y’all stuff because y’all deserve to be seen heard and appreciated 🫶🏾#tysm to everybody who have interacted with my stuff and i wouldn’t have gotten this far without y’all#anniversary tomorrow and here i am complaining about something that happened months ago idc im an aries and i don’t forget grudges 🙏🏾#okay byeeee idk who would read all of this but 💗#🪐 speaking
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.
#idk it's just really frustrating to think that people will ALWAYS make allowances for people they're romantically in love with but#not make those same allowances for someone else they otherwise care about.#that people will risk things for their partners that they wouldn't for their friends#that it's EXPECTED for you to prioritize your spouse/significant other/etc. at all times but prioritizing your friend(s) is rarely even#considered. and when you're like me and you LITERALLY CANNOT DO THIS SHIT BY YOURSELF...#like I know I go on and on about marrying some theoretical woman all the time (and my ongoing...whatever this is. with Musician Guy)#but genuinely I'm not even sure that I want that I think I just want someone who will fucking visit me in the hospital if I get into a car#crash or fix me soup when I'm sick.#like...yeah. in that one story I wrote I think I distilled it down: we all just want someone to hold us when we're sad#and it SUCKS that the only avenue we seem to be allowed to pursue that is through a romantic relationship#right now I have my dad but if something happens to him...I genuinely do not know what I'm going to do. I'll have nowhere to go#if something terrible happens. I'll have no one to help me be a person. and I just. like I really am going to just have to power through#the next 60 years on this fucking planet alone and by god I'll fucking do it but I wish I didn't have to!!!!#and I think this was why the loss of Her™ friendship (which was necessary. for both of us) was so acutely painful. because even after#she got married she WAS willing to prioritize me when things got bad enough. she DID genuinely care about me in a way I don't think#anyone ever has. and I just really don't think I'll ever find that ever again. and I can't go back and I don't WANT to be with her anymore#but it was this time of the year when she told me she was getting married way back when and my brain has kept that like the World's Worst#Anniversary and all of those terrible ugly feelings are coming back in full force and I HATE that I'm still unpacking this I. HATE. that#this not-even-relationship is STILL doing this to me#WHAT THE FUCK!!! IS UP WITH THAT!!!!!!#*sigh* okay for REAL I am logging off right now because I've already said Too Many Embarrassing Personal Things about myself today#and I do not want to put myself in a position to say anymore!#In the Vents#GOD this is so stupid IT'S NOT LIKE SOMEBODY DIED WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS
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Having a totally normal one* after waking from a dream where I just relive life with my ex. It was so normal and fine and we did things such as lay around in bed and make plans for the day, go to the Korean supermarket on the corner, go to a friend's house together.
#*if it were in the evening i would be drinking enough to finally drink dial and just fucking ASK all the questions i am making up answers to#what did you want? what do you want now?? honestly could you find it in your heart to hate me and never wanna see me again?#because me saying 'i don't think we should talk for a while' and you saying 'id really like to be friends' are obviously Not It#omg im going to spend my birthday alone for the first time....nearly ever and im just going to go to work and be miserable#i havent been able to stop chewing on the idea of me visiting when i head down to see the fam for christmases#i want him to want me back sooooo bad!!!!#i still think about that dream where i made him pasta#would i take him back? depends on what he said#as much as im pathetic im not an idiot and id need clear evidence to show that he 1. knows what he wants (involving me) and#2. is going to ask for it#because i don't think i ever heard him say a single thing about what he wanted for our future#never said 'hey i want to see you when are you free for me to come up?'#is probably fucking dating now anyway and doesnt WANT me to remember him on new years (our best guess anniversary)#or ask to call because i want to ask questions that will be hard to answer#when all ive ever wanted is the TRUTH#not the strategic answer just the gods honest truth#and i suspect that is 'i dont want to date you i havent for a while i didnt know how to stop or what i wanted instead'#and then i could go home break every object in ny house and move on#try a dating app ot something else to attempt to look forward instead of back#so as you can see -totally normal one
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Been so busy with work I forgot to be depressed about holidays. Luckily I fixed that by getting off work early today
This helped tho
#big collector re: the beheaded being a nuisance vibes#which is why it helped because shit man its been like 3 years? and still have the good ol dead cells hyperfixation#happy almost anniversary for my first dead cells fic#anyway yeah im depressed and ive listened to all my comfort listens multiple times this year already#so i dunno what im gonna do to stave off bleak despair#maybe draw something? maybe draw something#i dont have a holiday comic this year#just no energy after work and i cant take the laptop and tablet on the train#sad but also i need fuckin money to live so#i am also going to make very untraditional cornish pasties#beef and not lamb and no parsnips because lamb is fucking expensive and i just didnt want to buy parsnips#hope all yalls holidays are happier than mine!#sincerely and honestly i really just want other people to be content and safe and to find a place in the world that fulfills them#anyway peace im gonna fall asleep in the bath and wreck my phone lmao
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when I was 19 in 2019 I got these Vibes about 2023, it wouldn't be good or bad it would just be a Significant year
2020 was so bad that 2021 could only be better, it started good and then I got paranoid that 2022 was gonna be bad in comparison, so I mentally prepared myself for 2022 months in advance
then by the summer 2021 suddenly became worse than all of 2020 combined, but it improved by about september
bc of the mentally preparing myself months before, 2022 was amazing, but bc it started so good I got the feeling that it wouldn't end well
the last 4 months were pretty bad, and then came 2023
I got many different vibes for it over the past 4 years, but one of the main things was that there'd been a pattern going since 2015
2015: extremely good
2016: extremely bad
2017: average
2018: pretty decent
2019: extremely good
2020: extremely bad
2021: average
2022: pretty decent
so 2023 was expected to be really good? but also it had to get up from 2022's bad ending so the goodness was gradual
my brain is prepared for a good last 4 months to compare to 2022's bad last 4 months
but also following the pattern, 2024 should be extremely bad, and once I've got the thought in my head that a year will be bad, there's no going back. which would explain the extremely bad year following an extremely good year
2015 and 2019 were unreal, which meant 2016 and 2020 would've looked bad in comparison no matter what, so they just completely gave up and decided to be awful
but anyway it's 'getting paranoid about next year' season, also I can never escape the patterns of time etc etc
#in 5 days it's the 10th anniversary of the beginning of my memory and dates obsession. which is fun#oh time thoughts why must you run my life#why must you keep constant surveillance on my thoughts and if i think the wrong thing then something disastrous will happen#fun fun times 👍#also like *19yo thoughts voice* ''something very bad will happen in 2020''#*19yo thoughts voice* ''2023 will be a significant year'' and then me paranoidly thinking what could be That significant that i'm getting#info about it now? oh my god someone's gonna die#and then by 2023 someone died#bc i reblogged that post saying 'reblog to get good news in late march'#which meant i left the thoughts unsupervised by late march bc i thought i was protected by that post#then my friend and his toxic girlfriend had a massive fight and i was like 'oh my god they're gonna break up this must be the good news'#then they stayed together and my sister's friend died instead#as if the time patterns were reminding me never to let my thoughts relax like that again#i need to always remember every memory and make sure i don't accidentally control the future again#i know realistically i don't control the future and i didn't cause my sister's friend to die and i didn't cause the pandemic#and i know my brain is very irrational#but still#this happens way too much and idk i just don't want something really bad to happen in 2024#hopefully it'll do a weird swapover like with 2017/18#bc before that odd number years were good and even number years were bad starting in 2014#or like odd number years would start bad but end good and the even number years would be the other way round#but 2017 stayed neutral throughout and then 2018 started bad ended good#then until 2021 the pattern was swapped#2021 was weird bc it started and ended good but was horrendous in the middle#no other year has ever done that#so yeah 2024 could do something weird and swap with another year idk#but i'll have to see#ramble
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13 days until chain of thorns. it’s going to fix me i’m telling you. seeing cordelia is going to be so healing you don’t even understand
#thank god for the shadowhunter chronicles or i wouldn’t have anything to be obsessed with and weird about all the time constantly#well. i’m not THAT weird about it. i do think about other things it’s not like the horrors when all i ever talked about was merlin#i wonder what day of the horrors it is. when’s day 200?#my anniversary of starting the show is coming up in two months i know that much#anyway it’s nice to have a fallback obsession for when you don’t have something completely stupid to spend all your time thinking about.#well actually i am technically mid obsession with now you see me but it’s normal i’m being normal about that#i just need to rewatch danny at least once a week or i’ll die. but i’m normal#anyway. i think tsc was a good investment to make at 12. it’s served me well <3 near impossible to get into nowadays for new people tho#obviously doable with effort and time and real love for the game#most people don’t have that though so it’s hard not to gatekeep#anyway. cordelia is going to fix me. unless the book is bad and then i’ll be upset for years#i don’t think it will be bad though i think the plot will be ridiculous but getting to see all my guys happy in the end will be lovely#however i WILL have to suffer though bad plot and stupid miscommunication and love triangle BULLSHIT to get there#god this is easily cassie’s WORST love triangle. i mean seriously. james cordelia and matthew. seriously. cassandra you can do better#it’s really just so horrible like WHO wants cordelia to be with matthew.#matthew might be dead by the end of that book and personally i won’t care if he is. cassie hasn’t done shit to make ME like him since 2014#beth.txt
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David Tennant interview at the British LGBT Awards, June 2024 (x)
Int: You being an ally to the community isn't something new. You've been doing it, but recently you've obviously really stepped up for trans and non-binary people in a time that's so, so needed. What made you do that?
David: I don't know that I feel like I've done anything that I wouldn't just sort of be normally doing. I mean, it's for me it's just common sense that there's there should be any suggestion that people aren't allowed to live the life they want to live and and to be who they want to be with and to express themselves wholeheartedly. I mean, as long as you aren't hurting anybody else, everybody else just needs to fucking butt out. I don't really understand why...
Int: ...it's controversial.
David: Yeah, there is and the thing... the thing, if there's something that's particularly sobering and depressing, it's that certain debates are being weaponized by certain elements of the political class, often for no... it seems it's not ideological so much as opportunistic. And I just think that's pretty disgusting, really.
Int: I couldn't agree more. What message would you like to send out to trans youth?
David: Please don't feel like you're not loved and that you're not accepted and that you're not... you know, most people in the world are good and kind and just want you to be able to be who you are. Most people in the world don't really care. I mean... you know what I mean?
Int: We're all narcissistic.
David: Exactly. Everyone's so self obsessed that really, the sort of noise that comes from a certain area of the press and of the political class is... it's a minority. It really is. And please don't let that make you feel diminished or dissuaded or discouraged, because, you know, you just... you have to be allowed to be yourself, and you are, and you are yourself and you must thrive and flourish, and we're all here for it.
Int: Amazing. I think, yeah, it's so important .I think sometimes it feels like there's so many people, but it is a minority. It's such a minority.
David: It's a tiny bunch of little whinging fuckers that are on the wrong side of history and they'll all go away soon.
Int: Like what happened with gay people 20 years ago.
David: When I was a kid, when I was a kid, exactly. You know, I was at school when Clause 28 came in and it all felt like being gay was something to be terrified of. And gay men in particular were demonised as paedophiles and now that just feels historic and ludicrous and, I mean, I don't see all those... all those battles aren't won, but we're in a very, very different place. And I feel like.I feel like history is on a progressive trajectory and it might get knocked sideways now and again by people for all sorts of reasons, which are often quite selfish and quite, as I say, not coming from a place of any sort of genuine belief system, but other than a place of opportunism. And that's something that we... I hope that in 20 years time, we're talking about, you know, these culture wars as something of the past.
Int: I believe we will. I'm a huge Doctor Who fan, so.
David: Oh, good, me too!
Int: You are my Doctor.
David: Oh, thank you very much.
Int: But recently, obviously, you came back for the 60th anniversary and you got to work with Yasmin Finney.
David: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Int: What was it like working with her?
David: Oh, she's brilliant. She's fantastic. Yeah. And she's in the show again now, she's back in it, so that's fantastic to see. She's lovely, talented, cool as a cucumber, articulate, brilliant. I learned a lot from her as an actor and also as someone who, you know, who's become a sort of de facto activist just because of who she is and where she is, and she becomes a sort of symbol of hope, and she's wonderful.
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AITA for divorcing my vampire husband because he lied to me about his human job?
I (542 vampire) and my husband (260 vampire) have been together for a little over two centuries. There’s a saying in the vampiric community that it takes a century for a tryst to become an enduring partnership and another century to become soulmates. I thought that was true and that Matthew (using his real name because fuck you, Matthew) and I would be together forever…until this week.
First, let me explain a few things to the mortals here. I don’t mean that negatively – I came here specifically to get the opinion of those with a finite lifespan. However, I want to be fair to Matthew as much as possible and some of his decisions are very immortal-minded.
Both Matthew and I are vampires who have chosen to forsake some of our powers in exchange for the ability to daywalk. We made the transition together on our 100th anniversary almost 115 years ago. It wasn’t an easy transition for me. I was very dependent on human blood and I spent the first twenty years in almost constant sleep as my body adjusted to running off of less lunar magic and more solar magic.
It really felt like I was losing everything. My body got physically weaker and my powers began to disappear one by one. It felt like every time I woke, another part of me was missing. One day I could turn into a wolf, the next I could barely turn into a vapor. I could command a legion of undying servants, and then I could barely convince the mailman he didn’t see me levitate down from the second floor.
Matthew, however, took to daywalking like a werewolf to a sheep farm. He barely seemed to feel the pain of losing his power, maybe because he was so much younger than me. Whatever the case, he was out all the time once he stabilized. He would be gone for days sometimes and when he came back it was with fantastic stories about the humans’ new inventions or the new structures being built in whatever town we were in.
I’m not saying I regret transitioning. Just that Matthew and I had very different experiences. It felt like he barely changed at all while my entire being got rewritten. Being immortal makes you comfortable in your own skin. I never doubted myself or my power after I turned 100. But becoming a daywalker made me feel like I was being born as a human again. It was humiliating and vulnerable. I have to admit there were times I resented how easily Matthew did it. I blamed him for not supporting me like I thought he should. I would daydream about draining a human in front of him, showing him what I thought of his fascination with them. I had all sorts of vile and vengeful thoughts. I’m not proud of the person I was and now I’m grateful Matthew wasn’t there to see the lows I sunk to.
Despite all my awful thoughts, I didn’t quit. I don’t know why, but I didn’t. I stuck with it and, day by day, things got easier.
After 26 years I began to stabilize. The benefits of being a daywalker slowly blossomed before me. Now I can say that I am completely happy with my daywalker status and all the changes it’s brought.
I am the most mentally stable I have been since my Turning in 1482. It’s like I’m awake. The fits of rage that used to consume me for months at a time have completely disappeared. I don’t experience the same level of obsession I used to which has freed up a lot of my time that I used to spend stalking my victims.
However, that drastic of a change would be challenging in any relationship. Matthew and I ended up together because of my obsessive nature. Our relationship became strained when that part of me went dormant. He expected me to follow his immersion into the human world just as I had followed him in his revenge quest against his Master. He expected me to support him wholeheartedly and with everything I was. He wanted sacrifices from me that I used to not even flinch at before making. But something was just…different. We wanted different things. I wanted different things.
Matthew was obsessed with being the perfect human. He craved full immersion. He still makes it a point to get a human job every twenty years or so. Me? I’m happy to live off our investments and some mild mind control while enjoying the art and theater community the humans have evolved.
It got bad. Some years, we spent like ghosts in our own house, drifting by each other without a glance. Other years, it was like we were spies behind enemy lines. He would do whatever he could to thwart me and I would go out of my way to ridicule him. Our vitriol poisoned the earth. Matthew didn’t speak to me for a full decade when that poison killed off an entire town.
About twenty years ago, it all came to a head. We had a serious sit-down talk about our relationship. It wasn’t easy. What they say about teaching an old dog new tricks is sometimes true. Matthew wanted me to be as involved with the humans as he was. He wanted me to care about them like he did. I wanted him to travel with me like we used to and not just hop from town to neighboring town (which he did to maintain a human identity with references so he could keep working). When it became clear that we were at an impasse, I brought up the idea of separation.
Separating in the vampiric world isn’t easy. There are a lot of alliances and blood oaths to be considered. Over the two centuries we spent together, we became known as a unit to a number of supernatural entities that we maintain an uneasy truce with. Separating would mean creating new oaths and alliances with the same individuals. And there was no guarantee that those individuals would make new pacts with both of you. A LOT of vampire couples end up in blood feuds while separating. Neither of us wanted that.
There was also, of course, the emotional side of things. While a lot of immortals tend to only feel muted emotions (especially vampires as old as me), Daywalking had made both of us more sensitive than we’d been before. We were both attached to the memories we shared and neither of us could imagine life without the other. After 200 years together, it felt like Matthew was my right arm, and I his. When I brought up separation, we both felt it like we were discussing an amputation.
After about a year of talking, we finally reached an agreement. We didn’t want to separate, and so we would compromise. I wouldn’t interfere with any of Matthew’s human jobs for the 15-17 years if he could hold them without arousing suspicion. In exchange, he would take a year off to go traveling with me before finding another town for us to live in. In between my trips, he would go to plays and galas with me to enjoy human artistry at least once a month.
Maybe our deal was in his favor. At the time, it felt practical and fair. A year of traveling wouldn’t undo Matthew’s string of connections. We would still see each other frequently by going on dates that I liked. Matthew would get to stay immersed in the human world at the level he wanted, and I could stay within my comfort zone.
Which brings me to my current problem.
We are currently at the start of one of Matthew’s work cycles. He’s been everything from a fireman to a politician to a subway worker to a barista. He craves knowledge and connection to a terrifying degree. If it weren’t for how we move every 20 years and he goes without protest, I’d call it obsession.
This cycle, Matthew told me he was going to be a teacher. I was hesitant. While the humans have become more tolerant and less violent over the years, that doesn’t mean they will tolerate us near their young. Enough humans know about vampires that staking in the modern era is a real possibility. Matthew could incite an angry mob against us or, heaven forbid, get a vampire hunter on our tail. I have yet to be shot, but I hear that they have silver bullets that hurt like Hell.
When I voiced my protests, Matthew reminded me about our agreement. He said that I wouldn’t interfere with his jobs and he’d go to all the plays I liked. He even pointed out that, as a teacher, he could get us into high school plays and expositions. I was uneasy, but agreements are penultimate to immortals. I silenced my objections and let him get a job as a science teacher at a local high school.
When Michael has had jobs in the past, I’ve never really paid attention. One time he was a state senator for ten years and I never even heard him speak. I didn’t consider it worth my time to hear whatever his facsimile of a human would say. Real humanity is in the art they create, not in the parody Michael enacts.
But this one…I couldn’t ignore this one. Maybe it was because I was still uneasy about his proximity to human young or maybe I could sense his lies even at the beginning. Whatever the case, I watched him.
The first thing I noticed was the hours. He would go to work early and would often come home when it was time for us to sleep. When I asked him about it, he said that he wasn’t used to grading and that he had underestimated what it took to put a good lesson plan together. I visited some online forums and that’s apparently reasonable for first year teachers.
He would also sometimes go in on the weekends. He missed one of our dates because there was a “grading emergency” that needed his immediate attention. Something about a student’s test getting lost and then found and he needed to input their grade before the deadline which was on Saturday. Humans like silly rules like that so I didn’t even look that one up. I just reminded him that he couldn’t miss our dates again or else he was breaking our deal. He apologized and said it wouldn’t happen again.
Then about three months into his new job, the phone calls started. We have a private room in our house for when we need to talk without any visitors overhearing. Michael moved all his school supplies in there, saying that he needed a silent space to concentrate on his grading. Whenever he got a call, he would never answer it in front of me. Instead, he’d say “Sorry, work” and just go into his office.
I also noticed that he didn’t dress very professionally. Human fashion changes quickly so it didn’t register at first. A sweatshirt here and there slipped past me, and also the Gucci slides. When he started wearing baggy jeans and jerseys to work, I noticed. I may not be up to date on all the newest fashions, but I do go to classy events. I know what a slob looks like and it didn’t sit right with me that he was wearing that to school. When I asked him about it, he always had an excuse. “This is what everyone wears” and “It’s a theme day” or, bafflingly, “It’s spirit week!”
I tried to leave it alone. The reason we have stayed together for so long is because of our agreement to not interfere in each other’s lives. But between his hours, the phone calls, and his appearance, something didn’t add up.
Then, last Thursday, he missed another one of our dates. We were supposed to go to the Nutcracker together. Even though I prefer matinees (when the cast is fresh), I agreed to get us tickets for the evening show so that he wouldn’t have to leave work early. When he wasn’t there at 7pm, I called him and he didn’t answer. Then, when I called him again, his phone was switched off.
I was furious. I spend nearly two decades in these tiny towns so he can live his human fantasy and he can’t even show up for one two hour show? It was the first time since becoming a daywalker that I felt that angry. I was scared about what I might do, so I made myself go home to wait for him.
Only, he never came home that night. At 3am, he sent me a text apologizing and promising to make up our date on Saturday. But the Nutcracker was only playing until Friday and that would be too little, too late. To be honest, it already was. I texted him that and he never responded.
He never ended up coming home last weekend. I texted and called him probably a dozen times and he never responded. I got angrier and angrier as the days dragged by. Did he think I was someone to be taken lightly? Did he not realize that the fragile agreement between us was all that was keeping us from separation?
Yesterday (Monday), I couldn’t take it anymore. If he wasn’t going to come home or respond to my messages, then I would go to him. If he was so obsessed with this new job that he would ignore me for it, then I knew exactly where to find him.
I arrived at his school at 10am. I researched enough to know how to go to the office and sign myself in. I asked the office assistant which room Mr. Duetto was in.
The lovely young woman looked confused. “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out to anyone but family,” she said.
“I am his only family,” I said.
She clicked a few more keys and looked more confused. “His paperwork only shows his mother, Delilah Duetto.”
That’s right. His mother. But I still didn’t understand then.
“That’s me,” I said.
“You are not the mother of 17-year-old.”
“I’m his wife,” I said.
She was upset by that. I won’t bore you with every detail, but I had to alter her memories so she wouldn’t call the police. I may not look like someone who has a teenager, but I also don’t look like a teenager. I ended up having to alter her memories so she wouldn’t call human CPS on an apparent adult swearing she was married to a minor.
I went home and broke into his office. There weren’t any lesson plans. There were no graded papers. There were syllabus from different classes, homework with his name on it, and a few polaroids taped to the bottom of his desk of him at a party with children.
Human children. I don’t honestly know which is worse.
(EDIT: I know the child part is the worst part. I misspoke because of my anger. It’s not the humans’ fault that my husband is a pervert.)
I broke into his laptop and used that to check his text messages. He’s been texting like a high schooler. He’s been to parties with them, listened to their problems and even fabricated a few of his own. He’s caught in some sort of weird love triangle where a freshman girl likes him but his “best friend” likes her. He has texted both of them about it, promising his “bro” that nothing is happening and then turning around and leading this girl-child on.
Some choice quotes: I should know better than to get close with you. You and I come from very different worlds
To which she replied, lol maybe we should let our worlds collide
!!!!
I find the entire situation disgusting. Matthew is several centuries older than them and he definitely knows better. He’s literally wearing the sheep’s fleece amongst the flock. He has no business forming relationships with human children and even less pretending to be one of them. He’s not a baby. He is over two centuries old!
What is he doing flirting with a child? It’s vile and disgusting and I was set to kill him for it.
I confronted him about it when he came home last night. I told him that he was sick and dangerous and if he loved humans then he needed to stop immediately. I told him we either left town today or I would make sure he never set foot back in that school in a way he really wouldn’t like.
He threw a huge tantrum over my invading his privacy. He shouted at me that I had broken my promise to never interfere in his job. He called me controlling and crazy.
I told him he was the crazy one for chatting up a child. He told me he wasn’t, she was just his friend. I asked him to read their texts out loud if he was being so friendly. I also pointed out that there was no way a 260-year-old vampire is a child’s friend.
He told me I was a hypocrite because I basically cradle robbed him (we’re almost 300 years apart.) He said if anyone was disgusting, it was me for taking advantage of him.
I pointed out that he wasn’t a child, he was over 60 and had already been a vampire for four decades. He argued that that was basically being a child in vampire terms.
I was so angry at that point that the house was shaking. I told him if he felt that way, then we could get divorced right then and there. That that was what I wanted to do anyway because I couldn’t be married to a pedophile.
He asked me if I was seriously going to start a blood feud over him immersing himself in human society. I said no, I’m starting a blood feud because he’s become every predatory stereotype humans have of vampires.
He called me a hypocrite again and told me he was leaving. He said not to call him unless I was ready to apologize. I told him that the next time he sees me, he’d better run before I showed him the real difference between us. And it wasn’t just 300 years.
When I calmed down, doubt started creeping in. From an immortal perspective, what he’s doing isn’t really wrong. I hate to say it, but most immortals don’t view human lives as significant. I know a few vampires who would say that divorcing because he’s playing with his food is idiotic.
Plus, there’s the agreement to consider. During our fight, Matthew pointed out that being a student is a job to humans. So therefore I didn’t have the right to interfere. A big part of me thinks that’s bullshit, but a small part of me wonders if he’s maybe right about that?
I also have to ask myself why this even bothers me. I’m the one in the relationship that is aloof from humans. I’m the one that’s always saying we are from different worlds (Yeah, he stole that from me) and for good reason.
But over the years, I’ve become fond of humans. No immortal makes art like them. I may not remember my time as a mortal, but there are works that give me a sense of nostalgia. Sometimes I think I can remember being a child myself, standing in a field like in Monet painting, staring at the wheatstacks and waiting for the miller to come.
The thought of Matthew playing with them makes me sick. It’s like even after all the years of him living amongst them, he thinks of them as props in his twisted play. It’s even worse that he’s doing this to children.
I can’t help but think something went really wrong with my husband when I wasn’t looking. At the very least, I’m planning on divorcing him. But would I be the asshole if I killed him too?
Separating from him will be violent and messy. There will likely be human casualties. But I don’t see any other way. So, I ask.
AITA for divorcing my husband for lying to me about his human job?
----
Thanks for reading! I loved answering some of the responses I got when I first posted this over on my Patreon (X)!
These collaborative story telling pieces are the highlight of my week. Next week's story is about a witch who wants to know if she should attend her high school reunion even though she's responsible for stripping two former classmates of their magic...
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