#but i promise this is the last one

[theinternetisaweboflies]

Jägermeister

Chapter Seventeen: Black Market

PPDC-43-CA-10963842491 ATTN: UNITED NATIONS OFFICE OF INTERNAL OVERSIGHT SERVICES  HONG KONG SHATTERDOME BUNKER 47B (17-B-3) 01/23/25 1441  TRANSCRIPT EXCERPT ORCON Classified by: LER-OPNS-IDH Dated: 2025JAN23 Not Releasable to Foreign Nationals

R. MORI: Excuse me! 

DOG HOWLING 

R. MORI: I need to see the Marshal immediately! 

DOG HOWLING 

S.O. TEBUTT: He’s in a meeting with the Secretary General!

DOG HOWLING 

R. MORI: It will only take [unintelligible]!

DOG HOWLING 

S.O. LINDUM: You can’t just [unintelligible]!

DOOR OPENING

DOG HOWLING 

S.G. KRIEGER: What the [unintelligible] is going on?

DOG HOWLING 

S.O.: TEBUTT: Ranger Mori is here to see you, sir!

DOG HOWLING

S.G. KRIEGER: I’m in a meeting! 

DOG HOWLING

R. MORI: I’m so sorry to interrupt, Secretary General! It’s Max- He won’t stop crying! 

DOG HOWLING

M. HANSEN: Come here, you ugly old mutt. 

R. MORI: I think he’s missing his master.

M. HANSEN: Yeah, I know you miss him, Max. I do too. Thank you, Ranger Mori, I’ll take him from here. Dismissed. 

R. MORI: Yes, sir. 

DOOR CLOSING

PAUSE

S.G. KRIEGER: Oh, that’s right. I don’t believe I’ve expressed my condolences yet. 

HANSEN: Thank you, Secretary Krieger. 

S.G. KRIEGER: Please, call me Dustin! There’s no need to be so formal when it’s just the two of us!

M. HANSEN: Oh, well, thank you, uh, Dustin. You can call me Herc. 

S.G. KRIEGER: Of course, Herc!

M. HANSEN: I’m sorry about Max, and once more, I’m really sorry for being so late. There was a fire in the men’s loo off the Jaeger Bay. I don’t know why they called me. I’m not that kind of bloody Marshal. 

S.G. KRIEGER: Don’t worry about it! I know what it’s like to get bothered with a problem well below your paygrade! 

PAUSE

M. HANSEN: Right. Well, enough small talk. Why don’t we get down to brass tacks? 

S.G. KRIEGER: You're a straightforward guy. I like that. I’m the same way. 

M. HANSEN: Glad to hear it, Dustin.

PAUSE

S.G. KRIEGER: Since the end of the war, there have been talks to dissolve the PPDC. I know, that’s gratitude for you, but people want to put the war behind them. If we want to save the PPDC, we need to restructure it as a fully civilian organization, bringing everything under my umbrella: Security, Medical, transport- even the eggheads in the science division. 

M. HANSEN: To do what exactly?

PAUSE

S.G. KRIEGER: Robots for Humanity. 

M. HANSEN: I beg your pardon?

S.G. KRIEGER: Just picture it. Jaegers rebuilding the regions around the Pacific Rim that were most damaged by the kaiju. We would rebrand as the Pan Pacific Development Corp. Wouldn’t even need to print new mugs. 

M. HANSEN: You want to use Jaegers to.. build houses? I think they’re a bit better at knocking ‘em down, mate. 

S.G. KRIEGER: Oh, it would mostly be for publicity, of course. We don’t want robots taking away people’s jobs! Just kidding, but we can get labor for cheap with the Wall of Life project now defunct. The Jaegers would ostensibly be to bring in donors, but we would keep development going, just in case the kaiju came back. 

M. HANSEN: The Breach is closed. 

S.G. KRIEGER: For now. Even if it’s closed for good, well, there have always been wars of one kind or another. How long do you really think we can all hold hands and sing Kumbaya, Herc? Soon enough, peacetime will come to an end. There will be war. Jaegers will be used to fight it. By the time that happens, the UN will have ceded control of the PPDC to the United States of America.

M. HANSEN: Wh- What? Why would they do that?

S.G. KRIEGER: We have a plan in place, but I’ll be honest: If we could bring the Jaegers directly into the U.S. Armed Forces, it would turn our ten-year plan into a five-year one. The only reason we were going to jettison the military division was because we knew Pentecost would never go for it, but I think you might be different, Herc. You know how the world works. You could still have a place at the new PPDC. Now, I know you’re technically Australian, but you don’t have to be.  

PAUSE

M. HANSEN: That’s very generous of you. I feel obliged to accept. 

S.G. KRIEGER: I knew it. I’ve never gone wrong trusting my gut. 

M. HANSEN: Do you really think people will let the U.S. take control of the PPDC like that?

S.G. KRIEGER: Of course they will! We stopped the war. Everybody knows Mori ejected before the payload was delivered. That was our guy! An American! Not to mention your Dr. Geizer. I will admit, I didn’t anticipate his level of celebrity, but well, if anything… people love a martyr even more. 

M. HANSEN: What are you saying?

S.G. KRIEGER: Don't act naive, Herc. I thought you were supposed to be the war-hardened vet. The doctor is an important asset, but we aren’t unrealistic about his chances for long-term survival. We’ll tell everyone it was a tragic consequence of his drift with the kaiju. It'll barely be lying. 

PAUSE

M. HANSEN: Let me make sure I understand. Dr. Geiszler is part of this- our plan?

S.G. KRIEGER: It’s called Operation Keepsake. Well, his involvement was also unanticipated, but now we’re hoping to use him to understand the hive mind. That was how he put it in his official report, right? A hive mind. Fascinating stuff, I’m sure. Of course, I didn’t understand most of it myself, but I got the gist. If two humans can pilot a 250-foot Jaeger, just think about what we could accomplish by applying hive mind technology.

PAUSE

M. HANSEN: So that’s why you asked Dr. Geiszler to meet you off-site.

S.G. KRIEGER: Well, he could hardly disappear from the hotel either! We needed to take custody of him, officially, but we needed an excuse to do it, since he was about to be cleared by medical. Fortunately, the Buenakai were already providing us with a Kaiju brain. All we had to do was pay them a little extra. 

M. HANSEN: Then why did you raid the bunker?

S.G. KRIEGER: Oh, well, that’s not important. The import-

M. HANSEN: Oh. I get it. They cut you out. You were used to the American Buenakai, who come from Kentucky and have never seen a Kaiju outside the 1:100th scale statues in their megachurches, but this wasn’t them. This was the Hau Wong Buenakai, who saw the double event and didn’t blink. Basically, they took the ransom and tried to kill the hostage anyway. Did I get that right?

S.G. KRIEGER: Well, of course the Chinazis sold us out, but we had everything under control.

M. HANSEN: So now you’re going to make Dr. Geiszler drift with the kaiju brain again. 

S.G. KRIEGER: Exactly!

M. HANSEN: Which is exactly how the damn doomsday cult was planning to reopen the Breach.

S.G. KRIEGER: That’s completely different. Besides, with the hive mind on our side, we could take the fight to them!

M. HANSEN: Well, I can see why you’re so keen on the idea of the hive mind.

S.G. KRIEGER: I knew you would be-

M. HANSEN: Considering you don’t seem to have one of your own. 

S.G. KRIEGER: Excuse me?

M. HANSEN: Well, you did just monologue your evil plan. The cult didn't even do that.

PAUSE

S.G. KRIEGER: You- You’re making a big mistake, Marshal. You have no idea what you’re going up against. It'll be your word against mine, and Representative Taylor is an old col-

M. HANSEN: Actually, it’ll be your word against the both of ours. 

PAUSE

S.G. KRIEGER: What- What are you talking about?

M. HANSEN: Secretary Taylor isn’t going to want anything to do with you if this recording goes public.

S.G. KRIEGER: You bugged the damn dog?

M. HANSEN: He has a name, you know. 

S.G. KRIEGER: Officer Tebutt! Get-

M. HANSEN: Before you try anything especially stupid, you should know that I took some precautions. I had Dr. Gottleib handle the cybersecurity, so this recording is already backed up to the cloud. If he doesn't enter a code once a day, the news goes straight to the UN and TMZ. You should also know that he is a very punctual man. 

S.G. KRIEGER: This is blackmail! 

M. HANSEN: I’m so glad you understand.

PAUSE

S.G. KRIEGER: What do you want?

M. HANSEN: Dr. Gottleib will keep entering that code on three conditions. One: You leave the Hong Kong Shatterdome now. Two: You resign from the PPDC tomorrow morning. Three: You never come near me or mine again.

S.G. KRIEGER: You- You’re just a damn grunt. I should have known you wouldn’t understand politics. You forget that I still have a piece in the game.

M. HANSEN: This isn’t a damn game, mate.  

S.G. KRIEGER: I still have your man. 

M. HANSEN: No, you don’t. 

PAUSE

S.G. KRIEGER: Dr. Geizer-

M. HANSEN: Dr. Geiszler is safe and sound. You can check in with the officers you assigned to him, if they pick up for you. The Security Office is still under my command, and more importantly, they’re my goddamn comrades- brothers, sisters, and siblings-in-arms, every last one of them. We were here at the end of the world, while you were cooling your heels Stateside. I may not understand politics, Dustin, but I don’t think you understand war.

...

@lastdaysofwar

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

[kotse]

@hg-aneh your honor they’re silly

edit: i am NOT aneh!! i love and have borrowed their character designs, no affiliation!!

[redpapercraness]

all four of my sonic 3 movie trailer redraws in one spot 🫡

[daimiyamoto]

ΤΟ ΚΑΛΟΚΑΊΡΙ ΤΗΣ ΚΆΡΜΕΝ/THE SUMMER WITH CARMEN (dir. Zacharias Mavroeidis, 2023)

[creekfiend]

something that drives me insane on a relatively regular basis as a body jewelry understander is talking to people who have sensitive skin who are like "oh well I just can't wear any earrings without my ears getting inflamed" and I say "well what have you tried" and they say "well I've tried sterling silver and I've tried gold..." and it's like. ok. I don't know how gold and sterling somehow got spun by the jewelry industry as being especially good for sensitive skin but whenever I'm like "well have you tried implant grade titanium" they're always like "no....... but I've tried sterling silver... and it didn't work ..." like. I don't know how this narrative about sterling silver somehow got so strong but when they put pins in your fucking legs when you snap your leg in half are those pins made of sterling silver or are they made of implant grade titanium or surgical steel????????? HELLO. HI. YOU MIGHT BENEFIT FROM TRYING IMPLANT GRADE TITANIUM I AM JUST SAYING

[artisfaction]

[everydaylouie]

...sorry.

[maddisandy]

[idliketobeatree]

i'll give you a boop, anywhere you wanna go.

[catdile]

reasonable crashout

[senseandaccountability]

Sorry, but I accidentally checked what Solas has been saying about spirits and demons and broke my heart.

[knuiui]

hi I'm back again w my what ifs... :) last one I promise then I'll write abt the other one (I got swarmed with so many rehearsals ToT)

what if..

what if a Neglected! Reader that suddenly found herself in a whole new batfam..? Like crossing an alternate universe type shit.

imagine reader being a child of Bruce to a random woman who decided to drop the child in a basket, in front of the Wayne manor. Alfred of course the angelnot that he is, takes the child. not before confirming reader is bruce's

so basically the standard reader grew up alone and invisible in the Wayne manor for 13 years, then suddenly one night a mysterious girl drops by and takes them somewhere else. wink wink;)

now this different universe acts the same except.. reader doesn't exist here, there's not an ounce of evidence that reader exist in this one. basically like the canon batfam without self inserts or think batman: wayne family adventures

so of course reader expects it to be the same as their own universe yet, they didn't expect their family is actually.. nice. Think of it, Bruce has time for them, in fact he actively interacts w reader he pushes all his paperworks on tim, Dick appears immediately when they call for him, Jason likes being around them as they read together, Tim doesn't mind their presence when they tag along at the office- in fact he likes the company, Barbara appreciates that someone brings her tea to de-stress, Stephanie drags reader out to wherever to shop and hang out, Cass likes to watch movies with them, Duke smiles so darn brightly after being praised by reader on passing his quiz and Damian, oh sweet Damian doesn't mind having an older siblings that would like to just sit in peace while he draws whatever he wants, he just wants to spend time soaking in his older siblings presence. so basically this is the batfam universe where they're not assholes lmao

reader badly want to stay sadly, they can only drop by because if they stay any longer their soul will glitch out think spiderman into the spider verse style , so begrudgingly they have to return to the cold Wayne Manor of their own universe.

reader thinks their life is now finally falling to pieces however suddenly their 'neglectful' family suddenly starts behaving a little.. obssesive.. wonder what happened?

teehee.

[wuntrum]

2025 horror pin up calendar!!

print version | digital (/print it yourself) version

a labor of love, truly <3 prepare for the new year with 12 suggestive (and silly) horror characters :) featuring characters from: american psycho, bride of re-animator, the evil dead, hannibal, jason x, frankenhooker, alien, an american werewolf in london, jennifer's body, saw, the thing, and scream! to see the full specs of the calendar, check out the pages above!

[blodwyrm]

ɪ ꜱᴀɪᴅ, "ʜᴇʏ, ɢɪʀʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴏɴᴇ ᴇʏᴇ

ɢᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰɪʟᴛʜʏ ꜰɪɴɢᴇʀꜱ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴘɪᴇ"

[ticklepinions]

In da clerb, we all boop