#but i need to get practice with them

[erigold13261]

Any opinions on she/her, it/its user Eve?

Your ask immediately made me think of this shirt for some reason. I have no idea if I made it up or saw it at some point, but I can see Eve relaxing in it lol.

Anyway! My opinions! (there is a lot more than I thought lol)

I personally like Eve using just she/her pronouns (and for now I will use she/her until I get to the it/its pronouns) but she has a very complicated relationship with her gender (which also encapsulates her sexuality).

Like I even want to start drawing her with top surgery scars thinking she either got a breast reduction or fully got rid of her breasts. Maybe she took some testosterone at some point but also leaned very far into the feminine aesthetic.

Sometimes wears butch or masc clothing, or makes her hair very short. Her entire display is just supposed to be experimental and all over the gender spectrum but also leaning a lot into the feminine even when playing around in the masc area.

And because she plays with her gender and expression in this way, she also always wants to exclusively use she/her. Those are what works but can also confused others when she is going into a more masc appearance. Even when she got her top surgery she had to be adamant to the people around her to keep using only she/her, not he/him or they/them which some people tried doing.

That is what I personally prefer for Eve.

However! I guess it/its pronouns could make Eve feel differently! (and now I will start using she/it for Eve).

All of what I said above would probably still be true, except that over time Eve might lean more into using it/its pronouns. It would be like reclaiming a part of itself that it never knew it lost.

I'm sure there were some people in Eve's life that made it feel less than human, even her own thoughts probably did that. Made her feel like an object (which is why it will sometimes present as a literal object like the chair) and so over time it just... ran with the idea of being an object but one with life.

At least that is what Eve would eventually come to think of herself. After the revolution, getting closure from Zuke, growing more into itself, all of that would need to happen before it would be able to see itself as an object with life instead of an object with purpose.

Let me try to explain what I mean by that.

Eve would see itself as a combination of a woman and natural phenomenon or object that needs a use to be important. Disguising herself as a chair, or comparing herself to tectonic plates, both of those instances were Eve is trying to reclaim what it means to be an object, but they were objects with purposes, easily forgotten about until they are needed or make some kind of dramatic act.

"A chair without a sitter is left with no purpose to exist." Without the direct purpose of a sitter (or another person) then a chair has no reason to exist (Eve has no reason to exist). This mindset shows Eve's co-dependency, but also shows how it sees itself. How it is an object, but it's usefulness and reason to live is defined by what others need of it or of how others see it.

Eve realizes she is a tool, that the only way that it has a reason to live is if it is helping others, or fulfilling other people's needs. She is not fulfilling her own needs, her own idea of who she is. No, instead Eve is acting as an object for others to use, which is why it started going by it/its pronouns.

"Remember when I was the tectonic plates and you were the sea?" This line is another reason why Eve would have started using it/its pronouns. In this aspect, it is still an object, but one that most people forget about until it does something dramatic like causing a tsunami with the sea or earthquakes on land.

Unless you are actively looking at tectonic plates, learning about them, then you really wouldn't care about them until they affect your life. That is how Eve feels. Unseen and forgotten about until it is seen as important.

Being a megastar is kinda like being a constant earthquake, where people can see her all the time and have her on their minds, but over time they get used to this life and what Eve is offering which makes Eve chase a new dramatic flare, a new music style, a new purpose in life to be seen by anyone around her.

When it can find a researcher who cares deeply about the beauty and importance of tectonic plates and is willing to learn more about them to understand them (so someone like Zuke who took time to learn more about Eve and understand it), then she feels seen and loved. Loved as the object that it perceives itself as, that it thinks everyone had forgotten about except for one person. It can start loving itself because of that one person who loves it (and when that person goes away, that love goes away too).

However, ones the revolution takes place and Eve gets closure from Zuke and starts to work on itself, I can see it questioning why it started using it/its pronouns in the first place. Even if it was always just personal use that only a select few people knew about (Zuke and Tatiana definitely knew) and not public knowledge, Eve would still start to question why she started using those pronouns and wonders what it is about that specific set that called out to her.

I can see Eve figuring out all this from above, or at least the general gist of it through therapy and self reflection. Maybe this would make it upset that it was using these pronouns in this way. Feeling cheap or fake for using them (even if it was only known by like 2 other people). There would always be this questioning that Eve has if she truly wants to go by she/it pronouns, and if its reasoning is good enough justification to continue to use them.

Honestly, I love the idea that Eve always kept this mainly to herself. This questioning aspect. I'm sure Zuke and Tatiana would have still used she/it for Eve only when talking with Eve (never outing her since she never said she was okay with that). Mayday and Haym definitely do not know about this. I can see Purl maybe figuring something out about this, or knowing of the it/its pronouns from one of their late nights together, but they never used those for Eve as she never explicitly asked for that to happen.

All that comes to a head when Rin starts going by it/its pronouns. Rin's whole reasoning for going exclusively by it/its at first was to piss off haters and to have fun with its gender. There was never a big deal about it, and soon those pronouns just truly grew onto Rin and stuck.

This was something entirely different to how Eve saw itself using those pronouns. But it also didn't like that justification really at all. Just doing something to piss people off felt too similar to what she was doing before, having pronouns based on how people would or have reacted to a part of the person.

Eve wanted something more internal. Not related to other people, something she could see in herself with these pronouns.

And honestly, if you want to keep this related to the NSpidR AU (or even my Eriverse in general), Hobie and Lizze Natividad would be the perfect people to have Eve realize it is an object with life and not an object with purpose kind of it/its user.

Hobie is in the same boat as Rin, using they/it pronouns to piss people off but to also break free from gender constructs and confinement. It is about being rebellious and messing with people, but also having freedom and power over your own identity.

Similar to Eve, Hobie's gender performance is like literally a performance. Although Hobie performs for themself while Eve performs for other people. That is a thing that Eve will have to learn to change over time.

Lizzie at this point in life is probably still a Psychonaut, same with Raz, and since Eve knew Raz and they reconnected together after the revolution, I can see Eve getting to know Lizzie a bit.

Lizzie going by It/They pronouns with he/him sprinkled in (very rarely she/her) is something that Eve would take interest in. Especially for the reasoning as to why Lizzie would add it/its to they/he/she pronouns.

That is when I can see Lizzie using an example I love, where it tells Eve that using "it" isn't always derogatory and has a lot of built in love and admiration into the pronoun. It's just hard to see if you aren't looking for it.

When someone talks about the sunset or moon saying 'It's beautiful" or that people will talk about a stuffed animal or childhood home they loved and use "it" as a default shows that even though those things are being described by it/its pronouns, the love is still there.

Those things are more than just objects, they are moments of love, cherished memories. Not all of them are that. Sometimes they are just a part of time that happened, but it helped shaped who you are even if you don't realize it. They have no real purpose but to make life full of... well, life.

Lizzie would tell Eve about how the smalls things can seem big, and the big things seem small. They shift and change, sometimes they don't have any purpose to life, but you can just make up a purpose for them to be important. It doesn't matter, as long as it is something that makes you happy, confident, safe, anything positive really.

All of this, seeing so many different reasons as to why some people would use it/its pronouns or a combination set, would allow Eve to figure out her own reason for using them.

I'm not sure exactly what its reasons would be. Probably reclaiming its own identity again but this time in a positive way that is built on introspection and not built on other people's potential view of it.

There is definitely something a lot more complex going on underneath everything. Stuff that Eve might never be able to truly get into words, so it would be hard for me to put it into words (which is how I get when I have to explain my own use of it/its pronouns sometimes), but no matter what, Eve is using these pronouns because they make it happy and more comfortable with itself.

I can even see Eve coming out to the public as using she/it pronouns. Maybe it would be another performance, but a performance that Eve would want to see herself, and not one made specifically for other people. This performance wouldn't be trying to get people onto its level, or trying to get down to people's level, it's not one to make them understand, but one for people to see it as it is.

Otherwise, I see Eve at least letting its friends, family, and loved ones using she/it for her like how Zuke and Tatiana were using them. It would at least no longer be a hidden aspect of her personality when it comes to the people it cares about, and once it sees the acceptance it got (especially from Mayday and Haym), it would feel even more comfortable and confident in its choice to come out fully.

Because I'll be honest, it's one thing to dress in a way different from your gender than it is to be referred to as different from your gender. At least for me it is. I primarily present femininely, but I like trying to go by any pronouns, especially they/it pronouns.

I can see Eve being the opposite, where she does not feel any dysphoria or apprehension when it comes to its visual expression, but there is always a slightly weird feeling when verbally being called something you don't think you truly are. Even if you do think you are truly they/them, it/its, she/her, anything, hearing it is different from seeing it, which is different from visually showing it, to just acting in a different manner.

All of this is complex stuff that Eve has definitely had to go through. Some things easier than others (like her visual self), and it still has lots to work on, but at least it is on the right track for progress.

Anyway, thanks for making me think of this! I love that I was blatantly for she/her exclusive Eve at first, but now I think I changed my own mind lol. I might start referring to Eve with she/it pronouns. Love it when I can make propaganda for my own mind hehe (it always happens too! Because I try to make someone else's view of a character valid, even if it isn't my own cup of tea, and then I just love what I came up with and just start using it too lol :3)

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[eeniiart]

[lucabyte]

Taking pride in One's own appearance.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier

[leafwateraddict]

Couldn’t stop thinking about Dust being able to pass as Classic. So I had an idea where Dust replaces Classic in a timeline and steals(?) his partner.

He gets conflicted when he starts actually caring about you… But denial is an easy road to take when there’s seemingly no consequences to your actions.

The reveal i guess. Most normal reaction to learning your partners been replaced for god knows how long and you have no clue where he is.

Now that I think about it I might’ve gotten some inspiration from that one chapter of IJAG by @htsan (iykyk) only a lil bit tho

(Full rambling of the idea + extra sketch cuz i liked the expression) ↓↓

I originally wanted y/n to notice the differences instantly but i think it would be angstier if they didn’t and only noticed like months later >:3

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

A fierce duel commences!

[damian-lil-babybat]

'Dead Poets Society' gang

Headcanon that these four drop poetry and literature quotes on their conversations unprompted.

Jason 'English-major-I-only-visit-the-manor-for-the-library' Todd-Wayne

Damian 'I-master-liberal-arts-unlike-you-plebs-PHD-holder' al Ghul-Wayne

Cassandra 'I-learn-English-thru-Shakespeare-as-god-intended' Cain-Wayne

Duke 'only-title-holder-of-vigilante-poet-and-will-cuss-you-just-as-poetically' Thomas-(future) Wayne

[too-many-lavellans]

Good news everyone i remembered how to draw cullen -- (please don’t tag/comment with your inquisitor, thanks)

[daftpatience]

loop warmups in btwn work

[humming-fly]

Wonder what it's like to feel grass under your feet for the first time in your life. Wonder how it feels knowing you'll be the one to destroy it.

[deoidesign]

Doing master studies the only way I know how: Stealing them and making them my guys.

(Barberini Faun)

(The Fallen Angel - Alexandre Cabanel)

(Covent Garden - William Bruce Ellis Rankin)

[beentobeetle]

@potato-lord-but-not you said you’d have liked a traditional doodle, sooooo :]

Explodes them with mind. The first and third ones are actually bringing me to my knees AUHHH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH … Potato your designs are sooo satisfying to draw I hope you know that

WARNING! Jumpscare meant for ONLY POTATO-LORD under cut … tread carefully … oooooOOooOooHhh …

Apologies, but you birthed this wretched, childish thing, and you have to live with it (/SILLY SILLY SILLY)

Anyways. artistic recreation of the Jarthur buttsex image. It has actually plagued my head so badly everytime I try and think of sweet Jarthur things this horrid critter appears instead

[aroaceleovaldez]

just read the plot summary for Wrath of the Triple Goddess and. wow this is. painful this just sounds painful to read.

Why is Grover the incompetent inciting incident character? That is not his narrative role ever, really. That's like, the fanon conceptualization of his character where he's reduced down to comedic relief and nothing more. He's mostly exposition and support. Why not have the inciting incident be something about Annabeth's hubris - something that has gotten the gang into situations tons of times before in a way that doesn't put down any of the characters? Heck you could have even tied it into some Sea of Monsters stuff, like Circe having told Annabeth that she'd make a good sorceress. That'd be perfect for how this book literally just exists to be advertising for s2 of PJOTV. Or maybe call-back to Percy's introduction, where he talks about how he doesn't try to cause problems but problems tend to find him. Or use the established personalities of Hecate's animal companions from HoO, since we know they have attitudes. Just what are you even doing here????

[marsuro]

Wordtober day 2: Martes Foina (Latin)

Latin for beech marten!

[tiffanyachings]

it would have been very beautiful. camilla would have had to cook (horrible bone soup)