#but i mean. this theory was SO BIG that it has a MOTHERFUCKING SONG??????

[dtaegis]

i have it's been so long on my mind and i must ask, when did the "puppet's the mother of the children (or just golden freddy's mother if i remember right)" theory became a thing

[anthurak]

I’ve seen some people questioning Vortex’s presence at the ‘Blitzo Sucks’ party in Apology Tour, and even joining Verosika as a backup singer in Stolas’ big breakup song, when he made it clear in his first appearance that he doesn’t really care about his boss’s personal grudges. And even seemed pretty cool with Blitzo when he showed up at Beelzebub’s party in Queen Bee.

So here’s a little theory I came up with that could explain how Vortex went from “Her beef aint mine. I’m not paid enough to care.” to joining his boss backup singing in a song repeatedly calling her ex a motherfucker. Which also might give us a bit better sense of the show’s timeline…

Consider that when we were first introduced to Vortex in Spring Broken, Verosika noted that he was her new bodyguard, implying that Vortex has only known/worked for Verosika for only the last few weeks or months.

Now let’s consider just how much time has passed between Spring Broken and Apology Tour, which as I detailed in this post, we can actually get a pretty good idea of thanks to the episode The Harvest Moon Festival. Basically, unless everything between Harvest Moon and Apology Tour is somehow meant to take place in the scant month-and-a-half between the harvest moon and Halloween (something Blitzo’s comments about Stolas trying to get out of their monthly hookups in The Full Moon actually disproves entirely), Apology Tour is over a full year and a half after Spring Broken.

Now why is this relevant?

Because it means that in all likelihood, when Vortex first met Blitzo, he hadn’t been to a ‘Blitzo Sucks’ party yet.

And I have to imagine that going to one of those likely changed his opinion of ‘his boss’s freaky ex’ QUITE a bit.

Imagine Vortex, generally a pretty chill, friendly guy who likes to get along with people, going the better part of a year hearing bits and pieces of the drama that happened between his new boss and her ex. He probably doesn’t think too much of it. He’s probably seen messy breakups before, knows that his boss has her own issues. When he first hears about the ‘Blitzo Sucks’ party, he probably thinks it’s a bit much, and only tags along because it’s his job.

And then he’s met with the dozens of people who have gotten fucked over by Blitzo. Realizes just how hurt Verosika was, and just how hurt OTHER people have been by Blitzo.

It’s probably in the midst of consoling and comforting some incubus in the middle of a breakdown, rambling through tears about the imp who stomped his heart in, that Vortex decides that yeah, Blitzo fucking sucks.

Maybe not enough that Vortex would actively kick his ass if they ever crossed paths again, as Tex probably still considers Loona a good friend.

But tag along for a second Blitzo Sucks party, which he clearly got his girlfriend to do some catering for and might even be doing for free, joining Verosika on stage for backup vocals, calling Blitzo the motherfucker that he is?

Yeah, he'll do that.

On one other note, this would also place the episode Queen Bee, and with it Ozzie’s and The Circus as taking place before Halloween, as Vortex is pretty chill and friendly with Blitzo in those episodes. Which in turn puts all three of those episodes, plus Truth Seekers and the date of Moxxie’s and Millie’s wedding (the anniversary of which was during Ozzie’s) in September/October.

[omegawizardposting]

AND ANOTHER THING--

When Stolas told Blitz that he's never once talked down to or looked down on him, I think he truly believes that.

Stolas doesn't get how some of the things he's said and how he's said them could be misinterpreted as belittling. In his eyes, his baby talk and pet names are affectionate. They can be teasing at times, yes, but they're never malicious.

Additionally, Blitz is the person he goes to during a crisis every. single. time. Even as early as Loo Loo Land, we're shown that Stolas considers Blitz to be highly capable. It's Blitz he asks to protect him and Via on their outing. It's Blitz he goes to when Via runs away to the mortal realm. It's Blitz he calls when Striker abducts him.

He wasn't lying when he said he thinks so highly of Blitz, but he's a complete novice when it comes to romance. More than likely, he's emulating what he's seen on his shows, because he doesn't know any better. Having little experience with both imps and love, he has no idea that his affectionate gestures mean something very different to Blitz than they might to someone on equal social footing with him.

He still has a lot to learn about class differences and how they can inform someone's perception of his words/actions. Personally, my theory is that he's going to lose his status as a Goetia and end up with nothing. This will be a big wake up call for him and will help him to see the missteps he made in his relationship with Blitz.

(Not that he doesn't already blame himself. His song in Apology Tour is more than half him asking if he did something wrong, only for Verosika and Tex to shut him down and insist that, no, Blitz is just a motherfucker.)

[waitmyturtles]

SPOILERS AND ANALYSIS FOR THE EIGHTH SENSE, EPISODES 9 and 10. TURN AWAY IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET! LONG POST!

MY HEART. IS. SO. FULL. 

Episode 9 almost (ALMOST!) reached Bad-Buddy-episode-10-level for me. That was a hell of an episode. 

And I am so thrilled, SO FREAKING THRILLED, to have been proven wrong about my theories as to whether or not episode 6 was “real” to the series. It was very real, and clearly so meaningful and contributive to Jae Won (as well, of course, to Ji Hyun), that... it sent Jae Won running, literally.

One more passing thought before I dig into the meal: 

I haven’t dug into this at ALL yet, but I think there might purposefully be a lot of similarities between The Eighth Sense and Where Your Eyes Linger, which (I think this is accurate, but PLEASE correct me if I’m wrong) was one of the first non-Strongberry Big KBLs to come out. I went back to Viki to make sure to confirm this, but Jung Seo In -- the restaurant ahjumma and Ji Hyun’s boss in T8S -- also plays a restaurant proprietor in Where Your Eyes Linger, and actually asks Han Tae Joo and Kang Gook “who’s top and who’s bottom” when she first meets them in WYEL (a little squick but she made it cute for that time). The promo picture for WYEL on Viki is of the two leads lying on the floor with their heads touching.... a different orientation, but a lot of the same feeling, as the opening of episode 10 of T8S. And, finally: Han Tae Joo of WYEL and Jae Won of T8S are both “the chairman’s son.” They are both sons in need of care.

That’s enough for a comparison for now to WYEL, because I haven’t spent enough time digging into it, but I’ll return to Ji Hyun’s ahjumma in a second, because she’s a badassssssss. Anyway:

Episode 9: What can I say. As with Bad Buddy episode 10, I’m struggling to get words down. I love a ride to a gorgeous union. 

And Jae Won, HONEY, Y’ALL TOOK ME ON A HELL OF A RIDE. DUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEE. DUDE. I wanna be friends with you!

We learned some things. Ji Hyun brings light into Jae Won’s life. When we saw Jae Won with Eun Ji -- it was always in darkness (except for surf club earlier in the series, but Ji Hyun was there with Jae Won). jae Won eats with Eun Ji in a pojangmacha at night. He sits with Eun Ji in a dark library. He walks with Eun Ji on dark streets. She tries to kiss him in the nighttime. 

Ji Hyun sees that -- and something twists inside of Jae Won.

Then we get Jae Won and Eun Ji in the dark library. And, JEEEEZUS. WHOA! UM! I. did. not. expect. the. long. game. to. be. played. LIKE. THAT.

Motherfucker played a LONG-ASS, I’M A NAVY VETERAN, I CHASED AFTER YOU, I SAW YOU WITH ANOTHER GUY, I WAITED FOR YOU, I WAITED UNTIL MORNING, I SAW YOU WERE STILL WITH HIM, I SAW YOU WALKING OUT OF THE MOTEL WITH HIM, I SAW THAT, I CAME BACK, YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF MY FEAR ABOUT JI HYUN AND THE ACCIDENT, AND I REVENGE-DATED YOU, KINDA GAME, HEADSHAKE, SHRUG, I’M LOOKING AT MY NAILS, PSH.

BRO. WHAT. THE. EFF. 

I want a Cardi B song about this shit. Dude, you played that better than ANY female character in a K-drama that I have EVER seen, my man! You actually WENT AND DATED HER, LIKE KINDA LITERALLY-BUT-MAYBE-YOUR-HEART-WASN’T-ACTUALLY-INTO-IT-SO-MAYBE-IT-WAS-FOR-THE-ASSIGNMENT-DEALIE??? Good lord. 

Like, can that become a K-drama/KBL trope? Hot DAMN. ANYWAY. (Actually, one more reference to this for episode 10, but enough of the all caps, ha.)

You know what that means, right? While all that was going on, Jae Won’s heart WASN’T with Eun Ji. He was processing his stuff with Ji Hyun on his own, and with his therapist (once more, lol, @emotionallychargedtowel, take me to your analysis! I gotta know what you thought about the therapist calling Jae Won selfish!). 

Jae Won said it himself. He’s rooted in depression. He’s rooted in guilt about his brother’s death. He’s rooted in guilt over Ji Hyun’s accident. I will posit that episode 6 still felt like a “dream,” likely because of meds, likely because of Jae Won’s headstate. It was a “real” moment for the series but for where Jae Won’s head was at, he was likely battling a depressive episode with the continued, chronic guilt of his life. So things seemed fuzzy and jumpy -- because they were fuzzy and jumpy for Jae Won. 

(Whenever I try to describe these states to people, I try to think of relative moments... like being at work with four hours of sleep. Driving while your contact lens has something in it. You’re fuzzily in and out of reality. Jae Won’s depression is deeper than that. But I try to relate to it somehow with those metaphors.)

So the therapist does her own thing by calling Jae Won “selfish” for rooting in his pain. How we choose to judge her behavior is whatever -- it still gives me the jibbles, and I lean towards the utterly wonderful @emotionallychargedtowel for better analysis about therapy than me.

But, as we very clearly saw -- Jae Won’s breakthrough came through the restaurant ahjumma. Remember: she represents a break from tradition, as I said last week. She’s done with the bullshit of living by the rules of others.

She sees university students in and out, everyday, eating samgyupsal and drinking their sorrows away. She sees former students coming back to say hi. 

She’s been around the block, and has seen people get around the block themselves. She knows the advice that she’s giving to Jae Won. Unlike the therapist, she’s not gonna make Jae Won feel bad about himself. She’s just going to feed him and HELP HIM.

LET GO OF IT ALL, HONEY. GO AND GET YOUR MAN. 

And Jae Won finally let go. He went to the water. He took us with him to a flashback to the sea, to the light, where he’s the happiest. He took us to where he’s the freest that he can be.

And Ji Hyun called him back to Ji Hyun’s side. Called Jae Won back through music, and Jae Won heard him, and ran to Ji Hyun, and they embraced -- and it was perfect. 

I’m gonna be that auntie when I grow up.

Episode 10: There are a couple of side discussions with friends that I want to refer to, but let me say first that I have zero issues with this light, lovely conclusion. I am a SLAVE for K-drama tropes, and I didn’t mind that this episode had a few. This series did so beautifully to NOT hew to tropes, and to create a new paradigm of filmmaking in KBLs, that I was TOTALLY FINE with seeing some sweet tropey behavior -- the drinking, the partying, the dancing, the dance music. The love games. The heads leaning on shoulders. Coffees in cans. Let me give you my jacket. 

Friends @shortpplfedup and @lurkingshan and @wen-kexing-apologist: I’m okay with the forgiveness to Tae Hyung and Eun Ji. Because. 

I think Jae Won’s being a little shady, come awn. I think he popped his umbrella open. Just a little. Ji Hyun ADMITTED to being sassy, but I think Jae Won knew he was being just a little bitty-bit shady, and I’m gonna let the man have his. He’s a game-player. 

Eun Ji HAD TO ADMIT that she got her ass handed to her. And Ji Hyun and Jae Won both knew she’d have a hard time, internally. I’m fine with her being calm about it. She knew she fucked up the game, hard, when she got her ass caught cheating. We know she’s lame, she knows she’s lame, let’s live and move on.

I thought Jae Won’s read on Tae Hyung was great. Tae Hyung IS someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, however misguided it is. Humans are not perfect. Jae Won wants to be with honest people. (That’s why he dumped Eun Ji’s ass and handed her the receipts. He can forgive her, but he certainly AIN’T going out with her again.)

As Bed Friend ended with happy moment after happy moment -- I believe the filmmakers knew exactly what they were giving us with this finale. How we came to SUCH a happy ending just boggles me, but it was a loving and a sweet one. GO YOON WON AND JOON PYO. COME AWN. GO GO GO. (And go Bit Na! Reject that motherfucker. AND AE RI! GURL! I’m gonna miss you, nothing slides by you.)

And I want to refer back to something about the therapist conversation in episode 9 that got concluded in episode 10. I think it’s really important to note that BOTH Ji Hyun AND Jae Won took care OF EACH OTHER in these last two episodes.

Jae Won was rotting in guilt over not being able to TAKE CARE OF JI HYUN during the accident. Jae Won arguably got Ji Hyun in trouble. 

Ji Hyun, upon his recovery, TAKES CARE OF Jae Won. Ji Hyun handled the disciplinary committee. He gives Jae Won a disposable camera and encourages Jae Won’s photography. He continues to send Jae Won text messages, songs. Sending messages of hope and light and love. I’m still here, Jae Won, I haven’t left. Jae Won’s brother might not be here. Ji Hyun never left. 

What shocked Jae Won out of his stasis was the ahjumma’s words. I think Jae Won realized at that moment that -- AS AHJUMMA WAS SAYING ALL ALONG -- THAT JAE WON WAS OVERTHINKING THINGS. Once Jae Won could 

SEE. THE. LIGHT.

he was able to take off, and finally go back to Ji Hyun, in whole. 

(I think we know why the therapist’s office was dark. Jae Won couldn’t see the light in there. 

His light comes from Ji Hyun and the water.)

It’s a rarity, but I’m putting this on my short MUST WATCH list. This BLEW away any filmmaking expectations I previously had about KBLs. This was SINGULAR, groundbreaking, the actors ATE their roles, ATE THEM -- and it was utterly fulfilling.

PHENOMENAL SHOW. I’m going to miss this one TREMENDOUSLY. 

[helpicant-stop]

this is just a theory (and also take it with a grain of salt because i'm not an expert [also i am taking a lot of this from sideways' video on cats]) but i think it might have to do with the format of cats the musical as well as its parallels with the btb story. many other musicals follow the classic three-act hero's journey structure that can be seen in many classic disney movies--but cats is an exception.

typically you start off with an introduction of the world and the hero with a couple intro songs, followed by the hero's big "want" song (sometimes these are combined like in avenue q), and then the plot progresses with them and their goals. the villain's song is usually shallower, more of an introduction and announcement of who they are rather than their hopes and dreams. you can also see this for shallower characters who aren't necessarily antagonists.

subversions of these two songs are seen in musicals like chicago, where billy flynn states that he "wants" love only to turn out to only care about money. you could say his true number is Razzle Dazzle, which though sung to roxie, is the closest "i am" song other than maybe When You're Good to Mama.

so what about cats? well there are intro songs yes and there's the introduction of the plot with the jellicle ball. but between those is victoria, an instrumental solo dance. this gives off the false impression that she's the protagonist; but you'll also notice she never gets to sing her own song. it's just a red herring. you could possibly connect this to btb by either saying the plot itself is the red herring (like it starting off like a regular clown foodtruck and now having insane lore) or that the btb employees are the red herrings because they seemed like the main characters, but in reality it was steve. i prefer the former over the latter because personally i think all of them have equal importance in the show though.

after the "exposition" songs you get like two hours worth of intro songs for cats in the hopes that they'll be the ones to reach the heavyside layer, which is referenced directly in the song. we're introduced to this old cat nobody likes called grizabella the glamour cat. after that there's a brief stint (in between cat intro songs of course) where old deuteronomy is briefly kidnapped by (the insanely hyped-up) macavity. after that, there's more cat songs before we're hit in the face with the emotional climax that is grizabella's "i want" song, revealing her to be the true main character all along. victoria's only narrative purpose was to be the first one to actually touch her after all these years. then, of course, grizzabella gets sent to the heavyside layer because SHE'S the one who deserved it all along.

the entire plot structure of cats is also similar to btb s1 & the 2 ending in that there's an establishing point, a bunch of fucking around, a single foreshadowing emotional moment (back on broadway yet again), a single encounter with rival/villain characters, returning back to the fucking around and then the huge emotional twist in the end.

then there's old deuteronomy: while he's also a candidate, he's more like the leader of the jellicle cats who chooses who gets into the heavyside layer. he even gets kidnapped in the middle for some reason, a lot like how steve was hammered directly into florida townhouses(?) by cesare. of course, old deut has his own song too--and it's moments of happiness motherfucker

so what's special about his song? the second line "we had the experience but missed the meaning" in the musical is to refer to how they all got caught up parading the cats around, but still ostracised grizabella the glamour cat because they lost the meaning of the jellicle ball, which is to find a worthy candidate to bring to the heavyside layer.

when in context of btb, this could mean that whatever fanaticism the clowns have surrounding cats makes them lose the meaning of the musical altogether. when steve makes a single mistake, he's immediately banished to... the heavyside layer. steve is effectively both old deuteronomy and grizabella in this narrative, meant to be the leader but banished for a mistake he made

however, steve's role as old deuteronomy comes back in an unexpected way when he starts bigtop burger. now he's the leader of the employees, like old deut was the leader of the cats, and in his words, he's "back on broadway yet again"

of course, we should complete the metaphor by discussing the climax of the musical: memory, grizabella's song. a brief verse appears in moments of happiness; it could be steve's perspective after he was banished

but here's where my theory gets a little wacky: i think grizabella might also thematically represent cesare. cesare is implied to not have a very good standing with upper management, or at least not be very well liked, just like her. his theme of undeadness and having "friends in low places" also seems to match the vibe but that could just be me. this verse could be cesare's introduction to steve's story and where their hunt begins, since cesare mentioned he'd been chasing him for a long time

in the end, grizabella gets chosen to go to the heavyside layer. given the newest poster of the zomburger and bigtop burger cast together, if we believe--and this is like 100% speculation on my end--that cesare's upper management also resides in the heavyside layer, this could mean steve getting him back in the good graces of upper management, maybe through all of them having to work together somehow. again this is just me making an absolutely insane theory but take it as you will

my alternate, more likely theory is that steve is still also grizzabella, and in the end he'll be sent back to the heavyside layer and to clown planet(?) as he's been wanting to all these years.

TL;DR: cats has a lot of narrative and format parallels to bigtop burger

…Cats…

I just finished watching Bigtop Burger and I’m just filled with so many thoughts and emotions….WHY CATS???!!!??? Don’t get me wrong I loved the art style and the humor was peak especially with the animation improvement from season one to season two….BUT WHY CATS???!!!????

[trees-to-meet-you]

So Animaniacs 2020 in no specific order

Made fun of Donald Trump

Knocked on America’s gun problem

In that same episode had an anime fight scene

Made fun of IKEA instructions

Straight up killed all the other characters

Except wait they aren’t dead they just hung out on the wall for some reason (maybe drugged?)

Literally had Pinky sat he was being abused by Brain only to get hit and shut up about it

Julia Brain stood up for him later (I love her)

Screw Brain for doing that to her

“Welcome back to ‘That’s Not The Issue.’” On Faux News Channel with pictures of the White House in the background

Established that Dot (and probably Yakko) wear black shirts

Dot has a pixie cut and that’s good to know

Made fun of Elmer Fudd from Looney Tunes

Made fun of big game hunters

Licked the eye crusties of a fucking pigeon (and I’m still recovering)

Made fun of the Order of the Phoenix

Sliced off Yakko’s head at the end of an episode about Marie Antoinette

Pinky played Mario cart

Were those gay hands or fashion hands?

Made fun of the NSA and security state we live in

Made fun of anime again (or maybe kawaii or something? I don’t actually know what that is...

Dragged Trump again

A Rap Battle

Yakko pinned down Wakko 10/10 realistic sibling relationships

Might’ve made fun of Tiktok?? I think I remember “Stolen Dance” being one of the popular songs over the summer...

Murder on the Orient Express episode

Danger Mouse????? I’ve never seen it but I’ve heard of it

Made fun of rigged elections and Russian interference (though I’m not sure drawing the two characters with Russian accents to be a short hairy man and a rail thin woman with horse teeth and long nails was the right way to go about that)

Made ass jokes

Made fun of reboots and overused tropes

Made fun of rip-off shows

Electrocute Yakko when he makes a pun

Made fun of police searches

Wakko Warner nearly said “motherfucker”

Yakko called rich people dicks

Made fun of manspreading and mansplaining

Yakko and Dot went on a double date with bats????

Brain tried to make himself a wife (after he tried to make himself a son)

Made fun of Steven Spielberg for rebooting the Animaniacs

Yakko sleeps in a ball pit??? I mean it fits but there’s like no spinal support?

UPDOG????????

Brain straight up called people he didn’t like ��undesirable’ and I don’t actually know if that’s a reference to a world leader or not because I don’t have Twitter

I feel like they just ragged on musical elitism???

SUGAR HONEY ICED TEA

Rent control and small business subsidies (I’m gonna be honest I don’t know what those are)

Did they add on more evidence to the ‘Pinky is genius and Brain is insane’ theory?

Future Brain has a metal arm yet that arm responds to being bitten? Does it have artificial nerves?

Is...... Is her name Hello Nurse?

Made fun of Russia’s government again? Specifically propaganda and Putin

Also made fun of Russia-USA corruption again

‘Who Wants to be an Oligarch’

Brain has a tragic backstory okay then

Making fun of the current state of Journalism I see

Wanna say that’s a Poltergeist reference but I’ve never actually seen Poltergeist

Made fun of the American Healthcare System

Thespian dragon named Benedict

Feel free to add on these are just things I noticed and liked

[leaderintitleonly]

@musemelodies​ asked:

3, 6, 29, 38

3. on what platform did you start RPing?

It’s a mixture of AIM and Neopets! I’m Neopets trash. I was uh... I was an annoyer. Yep. But if you were around then, contrary to what people would tell you? We actually did rp. We were just... in character. All day. And then we’d go make threads when we felt like actually rping something consistent.

Was great. We did not serious stuff and then giant threads when we felt like being serious. I liked having the most ridiculous, longest name possible.

6. is there any other muse in this fandom you’d like to RP? Thiiiiis many! Well after I come back from vacation I’m going into hyperdrive and adding Sneezy to my multimuse. But I kinda go back and forth on who I want to play. I like to play characters that really aren’t loved much and don’t really get a second glance. I try to stick to the older stuff that the “feminist mommy bloggers” insist are a “bad influence” and will “eat your children and your Pomeranian”. Cause uh. I’m disabled. So apparently I’m just as bad. >:D Helen, she can’t even WIPE HER OWN ASS! Keep her away from little Imylee! She might catch it and not ever achieve being chief operating officer! OOOOH! So if I play anyone it’ll probably be someone dated af because I live off of that spite. I probably won’t ever play a villain because when you’re a victim of a crime it’s less “yasss queen” and much more “that motherfucker is my birth father and he’s white, cis, and straight and I am all together triggered especially since he got a slap on the wrist”. Yeah would rather not trigger myself or attract the crazies who worship these characters which will then trigger me, you know? Ursula is pretty awesome? But... idk. That potential triggering. Not sure. So uh. Yeah that’s who might pop up on my multi in the future. >:D

29. what are your honest thought about your muse’s canon

The fact he even has some makes me so happy. It’s not much so it means anyone who is a fan of the Seven Dwarfs (we are small but we are BIG STRONK) immediately is validated. And I love that. I love that a lot. The only problem is, all of that canon is in supplemental material immediately after the movies. There’s not a lot. But that’s just fine because that tiny fanbase that we are? We just...help each other out and share theories and it’s kind of a good place to be.

38. what’s the best inspiration for your muse?

For Doc, I like looking at science-y botanical prints and mountain-y stuff. He’s very grandpa/grandma core with some of the cuter side of dark academia. I also have dwarf-y playlists. Ordinary-ish People is my generic “Seven Dwarfs writing mood” song. I also use World’s Smallest Violin cause I feel like that’s more of a modern Silly Song for me. Sometimes I can’t handle yodeling. I pretty much have an AJR song for everything. Doc in particular has Arthur’s Theme (The Best You Can Do) just for himself though. Can you.. feel the 80s?

[woodchoc-magnum]

9-1-1 4x04 Reaction

Spoilers under the cut

Buddie for comfort:

Saving the parents for last because jesus fucking christ that’s a rant, and also, I’m functioning on very little sleep so this may be completely disjointed and rambly:

I am in love with Buck and Eddie trying to solve the crime together and I wish they would re-film that scene without face masks

Because they so would be into true crime, like Eddie pretends to be cool but he’s a secret nerd, and he loves to nerd out with Buck, so it makes total sense that they watch crime documentaries together like COME ON

I’m incorporating this into a fic somehow

May Grant the 911 operator 🔥🔥🔥

Gratuitous shirtlessness in the form of Albert and Chimney, thank you very much 911

Albert fucking RUNNING AWAY FROM CHIMNEY 10/10 comedy

And then Chimney RUNNING AWAY FROM THE REST OF THE TEAM 10/10 comedy as well

Albert throwing a whole wheel of brie into the oven? Like just throwing it in there? Literally just throwing it in there

I don’t know why they added that in but I’m not mad at it

Chimney making friends with the mad bomber after the preview was like “IS CHIMNEY GONNA DIE????” no he’s gonna make a new friend and then brain him with an oxygen tank duh

Well, I guess it’s about that time to talk about the worst parents in the show, so here we go:

Some of this is gonna be speculation because obviously we don’t know how this all played out, but we can make some guesses. My theory is that Daniel the dead brother died... perhaps saving Buck when he was only very little, hence Buck not remembering it, and his parents... asking Maddie not to tell him?

What even the FUCK though

Why would you ask your NINE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER TO LIE TO HER LITTLE BROTHER ABOUT THEIR OTHER BROTHER WHO DIED

And how the hell do you cover something like that up? Did they simply move away from friends and family so no one would ever talk about it? Did they box up all the pictures and memories and everything and just... fucking... MOVE ON? Or not move on, because they have obviously never forgiven Buck for whatever the hell happened.

Okay, this is my speculation:

The parents are somehow responsible - for example, an accidental drowning (I don’t think this is what happened, this is just an example). So hypothetically, they’re at the beach, and Buck is a toddler, and the parents aren’t paying attention and he wanders into the sea and gets swept out; Daniel comes to his rescue and dies in the act of saving him (this thing happens in Australia all the time, hence why I’m using it as an example - swim between the flags, gang!).

So then you have the parents who are ultimately responsible for not paying attention, you have the unavoidable tragedy of one of the children dying, and the way they coped with this terrible tragedy was to place the blame on Buck (even though it wasn’t his fault, at all) and pretend that Daniel had simply never existed.

This means that Buck spends his life living in the shadow of the older brother who was glorified, who died saving him, and Buck has no idea why he can never please his parents and why they don’t love him. This is why they’re checked out as parents, because one of their kids died, and instead of seeking therapy, they decided to live a lie and blame their son for something he had no fucking control over.

So setting all that aside, let’s talk about these two absolute fucking pieces of shit.

They’ve alienated their children so much that both of them are absolutely terrified when they turn up. Buck is petrified. He’s spent his whole life never living up to their expectations, never feeling good enough, or worthy enough, constantly being put down - no wonder he ran away to California to put some distance between them. And he’s finally in a good place, going through therapy, dealing with his issues, and now bam - his parents are back in town to screw up all of his hard work.

And Maddie’s just as freaked out, because she’s trying to protect Buck from them. I feel like she has good intentions but her mistake is wanting Buck to have a relationship with people who don’t necessarily want to have a relationship with him, and for telling them about him being in therapy (which I still don’t understand, but I guess maybe the next episode will reveal the answer). To be clear, I don’t think Maddie is wrong for having kept this secret. She was manipulated into it by her parents when she was only a child, and that is not her fault, at all. She’s been told she’s doing the right thing and she hasn’t questioned it, but now, she is.

And, importantly - if her parents were checked out mentally and emotionally, she had to do a lot of the heavy-lifting and parenting when it came to Buck, when she was just a little girl herself. Maddie is the reason Buck is as wonderful as he is - she raised him.

Now, back to the pieces of shit:

They didn’t like Doug, so they washed their hands of Maddie, even though they lived in the same fucking town. So she was getting beaten up by her absolute monster of a husband, and ending up in hospital, and they were doing fucking nothing to intervene or help her.

THEY DIDN’T EVEN GO TO HER WEDDING. THEY SHOWED HER NO SUPPORT AT ALL. LIKE I CANNOT. All because they DISAGREED? SHE’S STILL YOUR DAUGHTER, like oh my god, I can’t even.

She had to flee across the country to Buck in California to finally escape him, because their parents didn’t care enough to help. Motherfuckers.

And then the whole “we don’t do hospitals” - bitch, they are your fucking CHILDREN. If your CHILDREN are in hospital, you are supposed to CARE. Buck got crushed by a ladder truck, he had an embolism and nearly died, he went through a tsunami and NOTHING? Nada? Maddie had to kill her husband after he nearly killed her, and NOTHING? Buck had to call to tell them what had happened!

And then to start crying and asking "I don’t know what you expected us to do?” - like, bitch, FUCKING ANYTHING?

I mean

I cannot with these people

What kind of white WASP-y nonsense is this

Let me tell the story of when I had appendicitis - I was taken to the hospital by my friend at night, my mum lives two hours away - when she found out that it was appendicitis and I’d be going in for surgery, she jumped in the car in the middle of the night and drove two hours to be with me, and I was a grown-ass woman at the time. It is not normal for parents not to care when their children are sick/injured/being beaten almost to death by their abusive husbands/getting crushed by a ladder truck. You mean to tell me that the footage of the crowd lifting the truck off their son didn’t go viral? That they didn’t see that?

Fuckers.

You don’t like something so you just bury your head in the sand and pretend it doesn’t exist? Your kids aren’t perfect so you just wash your hands of them? Their problems don’t matter, not when it’s all about you?

Narcissists.

Blaming the kids for everything, manipulating Maddie into doing their bidding - and still manipulating her as an adult, by bringing her gifts and driving across the country and being all, “we want to be grandparents!” after everything? After letting her husband nearly kill her and blaming her for having bad taste in men? FUCKKKKKK

And the fucking BABY BOX. Do not even get me started on how ANGRY I WAS.

Like, I have friends with kids (I have cats, personally) so I know that they’re busy, but to not have anything, as if he’s just not worth it.

Like I can’t

It breaks my heart to think about his face, and the realisation setting in... to know that your parents don’t love you? To have lived with that your whole life? It’s so fucking gutting.

Like, obviously I am extra emotional because I’m running on empty today, but god damn this episode just came along and punched me right in the face.

Also, I’m making a BIG CALL, they’re going to use the song ‘Daniel’ by Elton John in the next episode:

Daniel my brother you are older than me Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal? Your eyes have died, but you see more than I Daniel you're a star in the face of the sky

100% they’re using that song, I’m calling it now, and if they don’t, it is a wasted opportunity.

Okay, let’s end on a good note, because this has been a rant:

Eddie’s open concern for Buck; the fact that Buck tells Eddie about his therapy, that he feels comfortable opening up to him - that Eddie was there, watching Buck beat the shit out of the boxing bag and listening to him, and taking his side and reassuring him... that is next level shit and I am here for it.

I am not here for the return of Ana in the next few episodes but that’s a future rant

Hopes for Buck Begins:

That the firefam - his real family - will rally around him, and that Buck and Maddie will take a united stand against their parents and tell them to get the fuck out of their lives.

Also I kinda want Bobby to meet the Buckley’s? Just... for him to be horrified, I guess? I don’t know, but I want Bobby to meet them and understand how awful they are and offer Buck some comfort as his surrogate father.

I would like Buck to be hugged by someone who loves him, please, because he needs it.

And selfishly, I want some kind of Buck, Eddie and Christopher scene, because they are also his family. Everyone in this show has their little family unit, and Eddie and Christopher are Buck’s.

Ana be damned

[cassyapper]

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

[takerfoxx]

Okay, so I don’t really talk about music much on this blog other than to post a song I’m listening to and wanted to share, but I really want to talk about this song here. See, after really liking Touch Off, I started diving into the rest of Uverworld’s discography, which of course started with checking out another of their biggest hits Odd Future, which many will probably recognize as one of My Hero Academia’s opening themes. 

And my first time I was like, “Hey, this is pretty catchy!” But then I listened to it again, and again, and again, and just kept noticing things, and now...

Guys, I am in awe of this song.

And not because of any deep lyrics or stuff like that. No, I am in awe because after several listens, I realized why I kept coming back to this song in particular.

And just so we’re clear, I am not a musician. I can’t play any instruments, I can’t carry a tune to save my life, I can’t read music or really know anything about music theory. But I do know when something works, and am very good at breaking things I like down to their bare elements and figuring out exactly why they work.

And in this case, Odd Future is a song literally made out of hooks. I mean, most songs have a few hooks, some catchy melodies that stick in your head that weave in and out of the song. But with Odd Future, it’s like they went into their drawer of unused hooks, grabbed a great big handful, stuck them in a row, and somehow made it work. The hook changes every few seconds, some come back but usually with some new element, others only appear once in the whole song, and yet it still works as a complete song!

To begin, it begins with a huge punch to the face, a big (yet quick) preview of the chorus with the digitized vocals, thrumming guitars, and couple finger snaps.

Now that the song has your attention, it transitions into an ear-catching jazzy piano riff with a little digital stutter in the middle.

Okay, time for the first verse. First couple lines are sun in a high falsetto with the guitar strumming behind it and heavy distorted bass.

Then the vocals suddenly deepen into a short rap break with the noticeable “One Step” singalong English bits, broken up by high falsetto “Hoos!”

Drums kick in, and now he’s singing in a more smooth R&B style accompanied by romantic piano. Drums then cut off to give more focus on the vocals and piano. This happens in literally seconds and yet each part stands out.

Okay, first chorus time! First part is mostly the same as the intro, only the line is complete this time. 

For the second part, the finger snaps are replaced with metronome percussion to encouraging clapping along, an awesome repeating single piano key kicks in, the synth starts thumping, and the vocals are suddenly undigitized (I understand that switching between digitized and undigitized vocals is something of a trademark for them, and the singer even has two microphones so he can do that in live shows, and it’s honestly kind of adorable).

HEY HEY!

Guess what, we have an early bridge for everyone in the stadium to go completely crazy! Beat drop with EDM chopped vocals while the singer repeats the song’s title and the steady percussion keeps the momentum going.

Then it slows things down just a little bit for the second verse. Back to R&B singing, only faster this time and accompanied by “Shape of You” synths for the first part.

Synths stay for the second part, but the vocals weave in and out of being digitized with more English singalong parts (What’s going on?).

Drum break!

Second chorus! Digitized vocals remain, but finger snaps are replaced by rapidly tapping the cymbals, which swiftly transitions into full percussion accompaniment. 

Second part, same as the second part of the first chorus, except now the guitar and drums are just cutting loose to give it some extra teeth. 

Second bridge! And now we come to another Uverworld staple, the kickass saxophone solo, now with heavy clap-along percussion and electric guitar.

Third chorus! First part follows the same melody as the first two choruses, but the vocals aren’t digitized this time to let you know we’re in the endgame, and now we have that slamming synth. 

Second part is the same as the second chorus’s second part.

Time to transition into the outro, and all MHA fans know what to say here! “I KEEP MY IDEALS” motherfuckers! Final vocal breakdown, instruments go fucking nuts, and we even have a little bit of those chopped EDM vocals vaguely in the background as things wind down, ending on that lingering synth. 

So...yeah. That’s why I’ve been so focused on this song. So many damned elements and hooks from so many different genres, many of them not even feeling like they should be from the same song, but somehow managing to weave together into a huge stadium crowd pleaser. Damn.

[elle9095]

So yesterday The Boyz’ Checkmate performance on Road to Kingdom completely blew my mind and it's been all I can think about for like 15 hours so I figured writing basically a dissertation explaining what I saw in their performances is going to help me make sense of life again.

The narrative that I got from the performances tells a story about the power struggles of monarchy, both literally and metaphorically, when you consider the industry. It’s also the concept of the show, giving these bands a chance to play in the same league as the so called kpop royalty.

It like the Boyz were on a show called Road to Kingdom and decided to make it literal.

First performance: Hwarang/ Sword of Victory

I think no one could've imagined what was to come when they made this performance. It was meant as an intro to the group so it was short and impressive and I’d say that it sort of set the style of their performance but not yet the general concept that has developed over the show.

Also I just learned that hwarangs were entertainers before they became a legion of warriors and later an institution, so they're basically old-timey boy groups turned soldiers.

How quaint when you consider the later performances.

Second performance: Danger

This is where it all started I guess. They went with the thieving concept of the song, decided to take inspiration from their first performance and bam now they’re stealing crowns and climbing walls.

Third performance: Reveal (Catching Fire)

So obviously referencing the Hunger Games which is a survival game but essentially a story of revolution.

Fourth performance: Heroine

This one's a bit different since it's a collab but yeah the whole performance is basically a person's journey to center stage, which is usually occupied by the winners/royalties.

Fifth performance: Quasi una fantasia

This one didn't look like it was going to fit the narrative with it being so ethereal and so hopeful, what with the branch slowly blooming, like a good thing coming to fruition, but this is the euphoria after you've made it and they sort of tell you in the title that yes this is basically a fantasy.

Final performance: Checkmate

This one is fucking insane okay? They start off with a deja vu: Yonghoon's with the hypnotizing watch again and you notice the blooming tree in the background but there's something uncanny and the watch stops, you get flashbacks of Juyeon taking down the king, wearing his crown, Q stealing the crown, stealthily sliding and passing it on to Sunwoo who seems like he's finally going to ascend to the throne and next thing you know he's falling and waking from a bad dream…

At this point I was already cursing and gasping and having a heart attack and they haven't even started singing. And it's like everything they've done so far was just a dream, the game is on let's start all over again.

And isn't it exactly like that? Because a game of thrones (though not explicitly referenced) is exactly just that: a game. You come to power but how long is that going to last? Sunwoo’s (literal) fall from power lasted a breath. You win first place on a music chart this week, you start all over again next week. And The Boyz would know that, having spent the the first weeks on top, but it only took a single performance in one episode for them to drop to third place.

And the chess concept is PERFECT. Chess is a game of war and strategy and the big picture and that's all they've been doing on this show: they've stolen, tricked, rebelled, and dreamed before they finally checkmate. All these performances make up one big picture and I don't know if they've planned this from the start but it’s fucking genius.

The Boyz are so good at coming with a concept and sticking with it, they make a song called checkmate and whoa they have a chess concept now, they have black and white costumes, dancers dressed as pawns, chess board effect and choreo, chess piece props… Which all seemed like obvious artistic choices but there's always MORE.

Like can we talk about that fucking table? I was like 'where did they find a three-way chess table omg it's gorgeous' and then someone's dancing on it and you see the glass tube thingy under the table and MOTHERFUCKER ITS A FUCKING CHESS HOURGLASS

Also for someone to be able to dance on it they flipped the table upside down and it's either like turning back time (rewind sound effect at the beginning) or starting all over again, but also I was like 'huh the tables have turned' and then 'OH FUCK OFF'

And it's all in the details in the performances, the small things that they reference, the same imagery that comes back again and again, every time I rewatch a performance I notice something I didn't before.

There’s the flower, something that's fragile and fleetingly beautiful, also the 'hwa' in hwarang. The moon, which is always changing, like an illusion, the full moon referenced in Reveal, which originally had a werewolf-y concept.

The fire, the sword, all associated with war and power. Even the tricks and optical illusions. The chess, the crown, the king. Everything came together so perfectly in that final performance and wrap up so nicely like HOW IS THAT SHIT EVEN REAL

I love how they have all the names of the song in the title cards (Thieves, Reveal, Paradise, Checkmate) and I’ve been thinking about the lyrics 'the show must go on' and 'the game starts again' and how Sisyphean it all is.

And it's almost like in the end they understand how futile the pursuit of power is but is still pushed by their drive to thrive for better, and in the end they realize being king isn't winning the game. Chess isn't about being king, you don't have to be king to win the game.

Their final card says 'As long as the moon shines, the king of all games is the Boyz'. They don't say 'we're the king' they say 'we're the king of all games'. It’s like 'yeah we're good at this and we're ready to go at it again' be it the hunger games, a game of thrones, or a game of chess.

DAMN THESE PHILOSOPHICAL REBELLIOUS BOYZ

These performances are inspiring and stimulating on so many levels, I mean yeah, the concept is mind-blowing, and of course the performances are just (literally) breathtaking but we haven't even talked about the technicalities.

Yes, I know these performances are great but more importantly I love how self-aware they are. They really seized the opportunity to do the kind of performance that they couldn't be possibly allowed to do anywhere else.

You can hardly do these things for a live audience, since so much rely on the camera work. You can't do this on music shows or music awards where people only care about the more famous groups.

And while these performances were created with the camera in mind, they still make the watching experience so incredibly live by making the performances so risky, upping the stakes to insane levels, and I don't just mean having to catch flying weapons or falling members, but like having a crazy domino choreography where one member's misplaced limb could ruin the whole shot, or using cool props and tricks that could so easily go wrong.

Like the branch that Juyeon was so upset about? The whole trick relied on everyone doing the right thing with the right prop at the right time right place TWICE all the while making it look effortless and seamless.

Can you imagine what kind of crazy you have to be to come up with that?

I personally think that mistake was a perfect imperfection when you look at the whole picture: something not quite right in this otherwise perfect dream that proved to be a mere fantasy, too good to be true.  

Watching the Boyz on Road to Kingdom was pure delight, and for people like me who get off on the thrill of live experience, performances like these are SUCH A TURN ON. And as a writer I'm just a sucker for conceptual plots, unexpected twists and experimenting with structures.

I’m currently torn by a mix of feelings: excitement for Kingdom, anxiety about the safety of the performers, dread of the inevitable end of the show. It kills me a little to think that we'll probably not see this kind of performances as much. That they don't get to perform like this again: go all out and not just tell a story but a fucking epic that will make Bertolt Brecht cry.

I hope they get their own comeback specials or that the company does like OK Go and makes all these crazy fun performance music videos. At this point I don't even know how to organize my thoughts to express my love for the creative team behind the productions, like someone there's got imagination to spare and I want to pick their brains so bad.

I didn’t know anything about this group before my sister showed me their Danger performance clip, and I’m 98% sure I’d never have discovered this group have they not gone on RTK but holy fuck am I glad that this happened because this is probably one of the best things that came out in 2020, making this disaster of a year almost bearable.  

So yeah, that's what I thought about the Boyz performances. Thank you for coming to my ted talk or whatevs

Also I have a second theory that the whole season is just Sunwoo getting over his fear of heights through exposure therapy.

[nodesiretogrowup]

alright y’all, time for a Melissa play-by-play. I have a theory about this episode but it will get it’s own post:

And we dive right into spy time

That statue in the fountain was very upsetting :’)

GODDAMN U LAUNCHPAD, U SEXY BEAST

I like that LP says spiffy because I use the word spiffy

DEW-ble O Duck

“What I Dewey best” God I love Dewey and his love of puns

SONG TIME!!!

Ben is a really good singer

I like how the song was foreshadowing things to come

How is she wearing earrings?

A ham on cheese sandwich sounds really good rn

“I can’t remember when I’m hungry” A man after my own heart

YOU DIED

Ok, that game is WAAAAAY too advanced. It has the whole building mapped out and those glasses are WAAAY to small and lightweight to handle all that. Is it all through wi-fi? Am I overthinking the logic of a video game in a cartoon? Probably

“I had a sassy quip and everything.” He has the makings of a superhero in him

“It’s a little too real.” FORESHADOWING! Or the game was already REALLY immersive. OR BOTH

OH GOD LAUNCHPAD IS ALREADY FEELING BAD ABOUT HIMSELF!

“Haven’t you ever wanted to plug into a high-stakes, thrilling adventure?” He’s already done the spy-thing. Though it would have been cool to see Scrooge in a sexy suit

UNCLE MCDEE! I LOVE IT

Then an Uncle Scrooge from Webby. TOO CUTE!

There is A LOT of winking in this episode ;)

“We’re a team” DEWEY IS SO ADORABLE AND WHOLESOME!

Aw, Launchpad

I didn’t notice it the first time, but I love that Steelbeak is using one of those plastic swords to pick his teeth. It’s the little things

Is the theme song gonna be the short version for every episode this season?

I really dig Jason Mantzoukas’ take on Steelbeak. He’s just so cocky yet insecure at the same time. I like his voice cracking when he gets embarrassed or excited 

And I ADORE how UTTERLY STUPID he is. I think he’s dumber than Launchpad because Launchpad is aware that he’s not exactly the smartest guy but Steelbeak GENUINELY thinks he’s smart. Plus he feels the joke. That’s just dumb and unfunny (in-universe at least. out of universe it’s great)

“The Sat-a-Lighthouse. Classic villain lair.” Well we know that’s gonna show up

Bradford’s neck bothers me. It makes my neck hurt looking at it

Intelli-ray. You guys are a bit on the beak nose when it comes to naming things

GADGET!

“Rat’s are dumb, right?” YOU STUPID BEAUTIFUL MAN

THE OTHER RANGERS! And Monterey already has his mustache

Ok how did her hair grow so fast? And did she shave her fur? How did she get a more human-esque figure? I NEED THIS INFORMATION

They Secret of Nimh’ed her!

Heron acts like an annoyed/done mom with Steelbeak and he acts like a snotty kid. It’s great

EVIL LAUGH

“Did that rat make that jumpsuit on a regular sewing machine, or did it build its own tiny sewing machine?” STEELBEAK ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS HERE

I legit thought she was about to pull off his beak

“I’ll go. Not because you told me.” He’s such a punk-ass kid, I LOVE IT

CHOMP CHOMP

DON’T EXPLAIN THE JOKE, BRO

“I pay for the privilege of doing someone else’s yard-work?” THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY, YOU RICH, PRIVILEGED MAN. Whack-a-Mole is actually about expressing all the rage and fury inside you

Video graphic adventures

SKEE BALL! I FUCKING LOVE SKEE BALL

That kid didn’t even take his tickets

Ticket-rich. I love it

LET’S STRETCH BITCHES

“Can’t let Dewey down. Gotta be smart, gotta win the game.” OH LAUNCHPAD, SWEETHEART

“Calm down, LP. It’s only a game.” Dewey is SUCH a GOOD friend!

“But don’t overthink it.” That’s just good life advice in general

I love how tiny Dewey is when compared to LP. It’s ADORABLE

“THEN WE GET PIZZA.” “Yes, pizza.” I don’t know why, but the way Ben delivers that line is hilarious to me

“Pad. Launchpad. McQuack. My name is Launchpad McQuack.” I love you so much

Ok, was there an actual dude there? How could’ve Steelbeak thrown a digital person?

“Yes, I do as well.” YOU DUMB HOE, I LOVE YOU

That card game was great. Truly a battle of wits. And Dewey just being like...what. Beautiful

“Well played.” “It was?”

“Look’s like you’ve been out-smart guyed.” The dialogue in this episode is top notch 

I too do not understand smanzy card games

“But how about a game of 52 pickup...YOUR TEETH!”

“THE PAIN FEELS SO LIFELIKE!”

The sound Steelbeak makes when Dewey pulls on his...hair(?) is great

One day you’ll get to quip Dewey, one day

The cuts between the game reality and actual reality are so great

Is that the Phantom Blot or the normal Funzo? Is there even a normal Funzo?

The neck cracking also made my neck hurt

All the kids gathering around Scrooge is too cute

“Not now lass, I’m on a roll.” SKEE BALL IS A GATEWAY DRUG TO GAMBLING

“I think they just have nachos.” They have pizza too

Steelbeak pecking at Launchpad...brilliant

The little pug/bulldog kid is so cute

The scream when he’s hit with the pizza is gold

That ballpit is terrifying

Yet again Launchpad falls on someone

HE FUCKING PUNCHED A KID! WTF BRO?!

“WE MADE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL!”

Those jumpsuits are pretty nice, ngl

“Nerp”

Launchpad had the right idea, he just fumbled on the execution

Rubix cubes-shorthand for intelligence levels

She is so done with him it’s great

“We can make Scrooge SO HUNGRY, he’ll EAT all the toys!” Solid logic

“Duh, that ain’t smart.” OO, BURN

Whenever anyone/anything grabs Steelbeak’s beak I feel like it’s gonna come off

THE THEME SONG PLAYS! I LOVE IT! IT’S GREAT

How did the others get smart? Where did THEIR clothes come from?! I NEED ANSWERS FRANK!!

Launchpad is always ready to lend a helping hand

HOW DID THE GLOVE FLOAT?! I HAVE SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS!!!

“The answer was to build a tiny plane and teach a mouse to fly it?” “Yes, I figured that out.”

Is Gadget a rat or a mouse? She looked more mouse-like before she got smartified but Heron called her a rat. EVEN MORE UNANSWERED QUESTIONS! She’s probably a mouse though because that’s what she was in the original show

I don’t know why but I love when people call Launchpad LP. Maybe it’s because he has nicknames for everyone else so him having a nickname is cute

So Steelbeak was in prison in St. Canard. Perhaps he had a run in with a certain terror that flaps in the night? That would be hilarious if the two had met before but now Steelbeak is more focused on Launchpad. That would be a blow to DW’s ego

I kind of feel bad for Steelbeak. Sure he’s dumb but that was uncalled for. No wonder he snapped

“You bird-brained...” Aren’t you ALL bird-brains though? You are birds and you have brains therefore you have bird-brains. That almost feels like it could be a racist comment in this world

“I’M THE RICHEST DUCK IN THE ARCADE!” You were the richest duck in the arcade the moment you walked in

I love when Scrooge gets obsessed with something and loses his goddamn mind

WEBBY YOU CREATED A MONSTER!

“Ticket bin?” “YES!”

322 DAYS WITHOUT AN ACCIDENT. Good for them

Launchpad just LEEROY JENKENS’ed his way in

His hand is as big as Dewey’s HEAD

LP and Steelbeak have great fight dialogue. It reminds me of Megamind and Metro Man

LAUNCHPAD PUSHES DEWEY TO SAFETY! At that point he didn’t even KNOW what the ray did! But he heroically saved his best friend, not matter what would happen to him! WE STAN! 

 This episode cemented my headcanon that Chris Evans would be the perfect human LP

“I SHALL AVENGE YOU, MY FRIEND” 

This scene, the climax, and the end of the episode gave me a theory, but it will have its own post

British accent=smart?

First thing he does is slick back the hair. Classy

“That cad, Steelbeak” We should call more people cads

How did LP fit into that much smaller man’s uniform? Are they extra stretchy? Because I can totally see that being something FOWL would do. It’s practical

“I don’t know what any of those words mean.” Same

“Heavens, you don’t want them to think you don’t know what you’re doing!” My constant struggle

The supersious guy is adorable

“Well, it’s certainly proving to be bad luck FOR YOU!”

KARATE CHOP ACTION

He still calls him Mr McDee. I just think that’s cute

Dear Dewford. Aww

“I won’t let him down again.” AAAAWWWWWWW

“Can’t go out there looking like this.” You can’t fight crime if you ain’t cute (or sexy in LP’s case)

LAUNCHPAD, YOU SEXY MOTHERFUCKER

That is an old-ass phone you got there, LP

Scrooge is 2 for 2 in missing important calls. Probably should turn his ringtone on

Webby is just so done

“Ah yes, you’d like that wouldn’t you, sonny.” God, Scrooge can get downright FERAL

Blink-and-you’ll-miss-it DW cameo. It looks like Drake’s DW. Does he have merch now? Does he get a cute of the sales? Who makes the merch?

WEBBY WILL FUCKING END YOU

Dewey is SO precious this episode. His cute little bounces

“I’m actually afraid and a little dehydrated, this game is AWESOME” GET THAT BOY SOME JUICE STAT

I love when shows realistically portray sound

“No time for a...crash course” YEEEEEAAAAAAAH

How’d he get a grappling hook?

“THAT’S MY PARTNER!” DEWEY LOVES LP SO MUCH!!

“How is he doing this?” The power of sexy? I don’t know either, bro

“There goes your pal LURCH-POUND! HA! You know, because he just got lurched into that POND OVER THERE?!” “That’s technically a bay.” “I’M NOT STUPID!”

“Classic villain lair!” I can appreciate a man who knows what he’s about

Why do villains alway jump INSTANTLY to the world? You gotta take baby steps. Start with a city, then a state, then the tri-state area a country, THEN the world. Gotta pace yourself

“And Uncle Scrooge only gives us like a nickel each week.” Do they do chores to earn that allowance? I mean, probably. Do Donald and Della have to do chores as well? Give them at least a dime, Scrooge!

MORE SEXY LAUNCHPAD! DAMN YOU, YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN!

“Waaaaiiiit a minute, is that my suit?!” “It suits me better.” DAMN STRAIGHT IT DOES! LP fills the jacket out

I like Steelbeak adding on his fingers

“Your fancy speak won’t work on me, Dummy-O-Duck. Ha-ha, classic.”

“That was totally my plan the whole time” Sweetie, just...no

“I guess you’re not as smart as *voice crack* ME.” “Not as smart as I.” NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR CORRECTING GRAMMAR!

THEY’RE BACK! AND THE THEME SONG! SO BEAUTIFUL!

Again, I thought Steelbeak’s beak was coming off

I like that Steelbeak went into pray position while being shocked

I’m gonna pretend the Rangers were off on their own adventure the whole time’

“Thanks for the...rescue.” AND GADGET SALUTES BACK AND WINKS! BEAUTIFUL!

“No person could survive being that stupid”

Launchpad, always willing to take one for the team

“There’s so much more I could accomplish! Stop the evil conspiracy out to get us! Solve world hunger! Land a plane!” No matter how smart he is, Launchpad still can’t stick the landing

“Launchpad, why are you overthinking this?” “Because I want to be good enough for you!” SOB

“Of course you’re good enough for me. You’re my best friend.” SOOOOOOOOOOB

“For Dewey, and Duckburg.” He put Dewey first, daaaaawwwww

HIM CATCHING DEWEY AND HOLDING HIM TIGHT TO HIS CHEST?! SO WHOLESOME!!

First thing LP does after things go back to normal? Fix his hair. Hair is very important to your state of mind, I guess

“Was it all a game?” Life is just a game

“Wait until I tell Huey I...YOU beat the game.” AAAAWWWWWW

“I’m not playing with anyone but you.” MY HEART!!!!

Scrooge is so broken. And the ticket to prize ratio, too true

“How much money did you spend to get those tickets?” Don’t play skee ball, kids. It will ruin your life

“I don’t think we should bring you here anymore.” Donald should probably be the one picking you up because Della would TOTALLY get hooked on a game/get too aggressive and I could see Beakley falling into the same trap

The comb just sticks there

The subtitles call him Suave-Pad, I LOVE IT!

“I like purple. A lot. Ha! Man, I’m glad I got that off my chest.” A DW reference or a CODEWORD?

“WARM THEM, YOU OLD FOOL! WAAAAARN THEEEEEM! Oh, dash it all, I’m going for a soak.”

“Restoring your ‘intelligence’ as it were.” BURN

She’s on a first-name basis with him...interesting

“OR ANY KINDS OF RAYS!” No mad sciencing here

“Who’s stupid now?” Gloating is very unbecoming

There are...certain people I wish I could force to shut up like that

His muffled screaming is great

Again, Rubix cube solving proves intelligence

How did he not notice it was wet when he picked it up?

I NEED THE SONG IN FULL SOMEWHERE TO DOWNLOAD

This one was super fun and emotional. I was not expecting this to be the episode that the Rescue Rangers would make their debut in but I’m glad they were here. Dewey and Launchpad’s friendship is so pure and adorable. I almost wish there hadn’t been a b-plot but it was fun. I know other people are upset over Steelbeak/the Rescue Rangers being different but I like them. This show is different from those shows. Steelbeak was repurposed into being Launchpad’s nemesis so he needed to match him. Plus we already have a bunch of smarties in FOWL. And this Steelbeak seems younger and less experienced so it would make sense that he’s not as clever. The Rangers didn’t really change that much from their show, just got a new origin that helps them fit into the world that has already been set up. I think this episode is going in the top 5.

[bondsmagii]

Tell us about your OC [Redacted], how big of a bastard are they?

I’m just gonna use this as an excuse to introduce a bunch of my OCs using the highly scientific Bastard Rating System:

1/5: traces of bastardry2/5: traces of bastardry with selected examples of Extreme Bastardry3/5: many examples of Extreme Bastardry, but with Good or at least Necessary Reason; one or two moments of Just Plain Bastardry4/5: Just Plain Bastardry, with elements of Intentional Sadistic Bastardry5/5: King Bastard of Bastard Mountain, Let All Those Who Bear Witness Feast Upon His Bastardous Doctrine

so, with that in mind…

OC Bastardry Levels:

Zekiel Tozyehr: Shades of Magic OC for an Extensive AU of mine, Last Antari in Black London™, goin thru it, delightful accent, reads a lot, has spent a good portion of his life wishing Osaron would leave him alone, Bites Off More Than He Can Chew, definitely a badass and definitely doesn’t realise it until long after everybody else, did not see another human for two decades and therefore any interaction is bound to be wild. bastard rating: 3/5 (doesn’t seem fitting? you’ll see)

***

Yakov [yet to be last-named]: revolutionary for a good cause, does nasty deeds in name of said revolution, loves his wife, likes to stare at nature, Angsts over said deeds, sexy scars, many believe him to be the craziest motherfucker to walk Siberia since Rasputin, enjoys a good sunset. bastard rating: 3/5

Anatoly Roslyakov: one of Yakov’s second-in-commands, also a revolutionary for a good cause, Gets His Hands Dirty So You Don’t Have To, has literally no bad feelings over it whatsoever, is well aware that he’s like that as a person so takes one for the team, most reviled member of the squad but gives good honest no-nonsense advice, good husband, great dad, too smart for his own good. bastard rating: 4/5

Anastasia [yet to be last-named]: the other of Yakov’s second-in-commands, Mad Lad, absolute nutcase, 4′11 goblin, WILL use your assumption that her height renders her harmless to headbutt you in the kidneys, bisexual icon, loves her grandma, will kill a man if necessary but doesn’t feel the Rush Of The Kill, likes to play piano and sing maudlin songs at parties, if you Soviet historians out there think she sounds familiar it’s because she’s his great-granddaughter. bastard rating: 3/5

Nadezhda Sharonova: Literature Bitch™, absolutely the only person in this group with brain cells, God She Puts Up With A Lot, ends up way out of her depth but comes out swinging, A Bitch Has Anxiety, good poetry will make her cry, if you debate her she’ll probably put a pencil behind her ear and then point her newly free hand at you and you know you’re dead, very against murder but shit gets wild sometimes. bastard rating: rare non-bastard

***

Percival “Percy” Mulholland: decadence & aesthetic baby, wears Gucci, billionaire at like age 20 but is cool about it, can and will fly all his friends to some fancy location to stay on his fucking yacht, thirty-seventh in line to the British throne, so full of love probably against his best interests, Thot, Part-Time Himbo, nerd, Has A Lot Of Demons, will always be found lounging on a piece of furniture with wine. bastard rating: 3/5

Reuben Sjöberg: as a 6′7 albino person who always wears white he is well aware of the fact he’s probably the most interesting person you’ll ever see, Has A Dreadful Secret, too manipulative for his own good, Sounds Good In Theory But Wait What The Fuck Reuben, terrible ideas abound, Source Of All Trouble, Swedish but speaks better English than anyone in the group. bastard rating: 4/5

Adrian Urquhart: small, gay, will fight you through tears, knows all the gossip at all times, pretty much knows everything about everything, might not tell you until it’s too late, Heretic Catholic™, Spite is a Good Motivator, needs a nap, could probably benefit from a little more backbone, Crouching Introvert Hidden Thot. bastard rating: 2/5

Charlotte Brown: very pretty and very unassuming, knows it, dresses like she wandered out of the fae realm, seems dreamy and distant but never misses a single fucking beat, if she can’t smooth an argument out nobody can, Theatre Bitch™, when at parties she’s lowkey always looking for an excuse to throw her drink over somebody in outrage. bastard rating: 2/5

Niamh Connolly: from Belfast and will not soften her accent for the sake of the poor posh bitches around her, here to cause A Ruckus™, punk lesbian icon who absolutely has punched a Nazi, very strong morals that cause a lot of trouble down the line, probably the only person in the group who’se not a fucking nutcase, very outspoken, letting her drive is not recommended. bastard rating: 2/5

***

Aidan Mirza: Dumbass Narrator™, very gay, grew up constantly wishing for an adventure and boy did he get it, Supernatural Abilities [wiggles fingers while saying ‘OoOoOoOhhh’], too loyal for his own good, I Just Hate This Town Yanno?, lives with A Lot, calm on the outside screaming on the inside, means well but what the fuck. bastard rating: 2/5

Vertigo “Tigo” Havlíček: green hair don’t care, named after a literal carnival ride and not even mad about it, heir to a cursed funfair and is a bit mad about that, Even More Supernatural Abilities, sees too much, Am I The Only Person Going To Do Anything Around Here?, may be responsible for dozens of deaths but he can explain he swears, probably could do with admitting there’s a problem sooner. bastard rating: 3/5

***

Cameron Torrance: anger issues out the ass, disgruntled night shift cashier, alcoholic, Me? Traumatised? Ha!, serious violent PTSD that he will NOT acknowledge, murderer (self-defence), murderer (dealing with some things), You Ever Just Look Around And Think ‘This Might As Well Happen?’, very fucked up confused and oftentimes rancid morals, probably survives by remembering he’s not as bad as Jasper. bastard rating: 4/5

Jasper Tuozzo: runs a deep web murder room, lives to torment the shit out of Cameron, night shift milk delivery driver with a great discomfort of driving at night, smokes like a chimney and will bum cigarettes whenever he can, murderer (because it’s fun), nasty trauma in childhood but sincerely not enough to explain this, hasn’t given a fuck about anything since 1987. bastard rating: 5/5

Francis “Frankie” Morrison: university student, tired, very cute, gets excited if asked to accompany someone on errands, somehow Cameron’s boyfriend and somehow loves him dearly, worries a lot, far too innocent for his own good, cooks for people, hilarious bastard, god knows what he’s doing with these other two freaks. bastard rating: rare non-bastard

[thatbassistbitch]

Any tips on playing bass guitar? I'm hopefully going to get one soon so I can start learning how to play, so I wanted to ask you because you're amazing at playing.

Hi! Yeah, I’ve got a few! 

First thing’s first: as boring as this may sounds, you need to practice scales. Pentatonic, major, minor, harmonic, melodic, everything. You need to be able to associate the frets for each string with their corresponding notes.

For reading tabs, each fret is assigned a number. If you learn to read tabs early on, you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble.

Play for at least 30 minutes every day. Some people say just 10, I say that’s bullshit. Play until your fingers hurt, and then play some more. This is how you’ll build up callouses. Your fingertips will hurt like a motherfucker at first. But then they’ll toughen up. Soak them in warm water with epsom salt and table salt every night to help dry them out so the callouses will form more quickly. Hand sanitiser is your friend. Say goodbye to hand lotion.

Do not strum using an outward plucking motion. You want your fingertips to sweep across the strings. This allows for a smoother sound.

Wipe down your bass with an old soft t shirt after every time you play. This will keep the oils from your fingers from damaging the wood and eroding the strings. It’ll also keep your bass from looking like shit.

Try to avoid changing your strings if possible. If one is broken, that’s one thing. Otherwise? Don’t. The older the strings, the grungier the sound. You want that dead thump. New strings have a bright twangy sound and take a while to mellow out. It’s infuriating.

For a starter bass, check out the used gear section. You don’t need a brand new bass, and there are many used basses that are still in really good shape for a much better price. Hell, just a few days ago I saw a bleedin’ Ibanez for $64. Would have grabbed it, but I’ve still got Mikey, and I’m saving up for a longscale.

Used gear is your friend. The clerks will try to sell you the high end stuff. You don’t need it. You’re just starting out, get the cheap used stuff first. It still works fine. My lil Ampeg hasn’t failed me yet.

Some people will frown upon those who use picks. Fuck em. You want to use a pick? Go for it. Just go for the thicker ones. I currently use Big Stubbies.

Don’t play the bass when your hands are wet. You’ll rip those callouses right off.

If your strings are making a buzzing sound when you play, make sure you’re not facing the amp, as that can cause feedback. If the strings are still buzzing, take a look at how you play. You want to hit the fret as close to the fret as possible. Press right up against it. Otherwise, the string will vibrate against it, causing that dreaded buzzing noise. This is a problem I tend to have, as my hands don’t always cooperate.

Music theory will save your ass. Take some time to learn it. Grab a few books on it from the library. Watch some videos. Take the time to figure it out for yourself. You don’t need to launch right into lessons after you buy your bass and amp. Besides, those things are pricy, and so are lessons. I waited about a year and a half before starting lessons, and I took that time to play around with it and get a feel for it. Apparently, during that time, I passed up the beginner level and am now on “Level 2,” whatever the fuck that means.

Try to learn the tabs to your favourite songs. This will keep your interest going. Does the song you’re trying to learn seem too complicated? Keep going anyway. The satisfaction from figuring out how to play a hard song is so fuckin rewarding. A favourite of mine is Hysteria by Muse. Not as hard as it looks, actually. Just very fast-paced.

There are many videos online of people playing the basslines to popular songs, and quite a few of them have the tabs on the screen. If the notes don’t sound accurate to you, it’s because they’re probably not. Take the time to play around with it until you find the notes that sound right to you. There you go, there’s the Right Way. Your way is the Right Way.

Tune your bass every time you play it. You can buy a tuner or use an app, doesn’t matter. You could even use another instrument for reference. I personally prefer tuning by ear, despite being somewhat hard of hearing. I may not be able to hear the lower notes as well, but I can feel them. Which brings me to another point.

Most of playing the bass relies on feeling, not hearing. You may not be able to hear all the notes. But you’ll certainly be able to feel them. The bass provides not only sound, but rhythm. Let your instinct guide you. Don’t be afraid to lean up against a wooden table to feel the vibrations with your body. If you’re home alone, you can crank up that amp as loud as you want until your teeth vibrate with the rhythm and your lungs breathe in the dead thump of your bass. Be sure to wear ear protection though.

It helps to have a drum beat or metronome going while you play. I hate metronomes, but drum beats work well. Garageband has a virtual drummer that allows you to customise the drum beat loop without having to actually know how to play the drums. Very intuitive program, I love it. The virtual drummer sounds just like a real drummer, only without the obnoxious drum solos and tendency to fall off the tempo.

If you have any other questions, feel free to ask!

[wickedsrest-rp-archive]

Name: Matthew Kincaid Species: Vampire Occupation: Artist and supernatural snitch Age: 66 Years Old Played By: Gray Face Claim: Luke Arnold

“I don’t live with anything, man. Technically.”

The nice thing about looking up from the dirt is that you’ve got a lot of room to dream real fuckin’ big in. Matty made the most of it. And he had to, because he spent a lot of time on the ground as a kid - kicked there by every playground shithead in every town his military parents dragged him through. The Kincaids moved around the whole motherfucking United States, and West Germany, besides; for him, they said. Matty didn’t see it that way. His parents were what they were because the money was good, good enough to buy them a nice house, a nice car, a nice life. Good enough to put him through school, which would be a good, good thing, because he was smart, wasn’t he?

When he applied himself, maybe. If he just knocked it off with all his bullshit about being an artist and started focusing on a real career, they would always say, a real life. Instead of sneaking out to the bars of West Berlin and Hamburg and Frankfurt and El Paso and Columbus and Oklahoma City and so on. Instead of splattering paint all over his new shirts and piercing his own ears just “to try it.” Instead of wasting hours closed off in his newest bedroom, singing along to cranked tapes of the Stones, Zeppelin, and the Scorpions. Trying to get it right. Trying to sound like someone else, so he could be someone else, somewhere else, doing something else. Maybe, then, he’d fit. Maybe.

Then Matty found out that, actually, he could have all that by sounding like himself - because he sounded pretty fucking amazing, when he let that big voice out. It took until his first year of college, at a school he’d picked because his parents made him and it was as far away from them as he could get. What a feeling, singing along with everyone else at some freshman party, pissed faceless on tequila… and the room going dead quiet around you, just to listen. After years of being shit on by his mom and dad and teachers and classmates for daring to step into drama club and actually practicing for band, for doing art projects “wrong,” for bringing German rock records and other “stupid crap” to school, for wearing his hair too long and his pants too tight and so on, and so on, and so on, Matty was stunned.

And it wasn’t a fluke. He’d thought it must be, but no. From covers, he started improvising, and people liked that too. Liked it more, even. Open mic Fridays at the campus bar became the best fucking night of the week. So he found more, scattered throughout the city. Soon, Matty was entirely hooked. On the freedom, on the confidence. On being seen and heard and loved like that. He’d never known anything like it. And now that he had, he couldn’t imagine life without it.

The band erupted like a goddamn volcano, from there. Warhorse. They’d found each other at just the right time, in just the right place, and, fuck, man… the music they made was something else. People noticed. Fast. Matty spent his twenty-first birthday touring the country to sold out shows, and by his twenty-fifth, it had all gone global. They were legends, and he was thriving on it. And on the fiercely tight-knit family he’d found, in his bandmates. They weren’t gonna be like the rest, falling out and apart. No way. Not that there weren’t highs and lows, of various kinds. But they made it through, for love of the music. And they always would, despite all the drama, and the distractions, and… yeah, the drugs. Hey, they were rock stars. Par for the course.

But the course took a swerve nobody could’ve seen coming, and from there, everything crashed and burned. And the end, like the beginning, and the press, and the fans, was all about Matty.

It happened in New York. Some dingy bar, after a show, groupies, the usual. Until somebody fucking bit him. And - God, if only he’d been twice as hammered. Maybe he wouldn’t remember the rest. The blood and the cold and the dark. Then a bandmate’s hands on his face, rousing him to the worst ache he’d ever felt. A hunger. Something so furious and painful that he snapped like an animal, teeth, fangs, in his bassman’s neck. He drank until the haze sizzled off, long enough to taste it. To realize. To come to his senses, and run. And that was that. Warhorse, one of the most explosive bands of its age, never played another show. Just collapsed. That was shocking enough, but the disappearance of Matty Kincaid, specifically, became the stuff of conspiracy theories and urban legends. These days, the band is remembered largely as a mysterious musical tragedy. Which is a shame, because as any real classic rock fan can tell you, Warhorse - and that iconic frontman of theirs - were so much more.

Of course, Matty’s a whole other kind of more, these days. Or less, as he sees it. He’s entirely repulsed by what he’s been turned into, and never properly had the chance to grieve the life he’d had, the people he left behind, and hurt. He nearly killed one of his best friends in the world, somebody he loved. And he lost everything. It’s not even the money, the fame. It was the meaning. So, no, he’s not over it. And, to some extent, he holds that against every vampire he meets, and all the rest of them. Enough that he usually doesn’t suffer an attack of moral qualms when he points the local hunters towards some supernatural or other. Usually. And if he does? A bit of ash will probably fix that. Or the blue mushrooms. Daverin will do, if that’s all he can get. Nectar, as a last resort. Whatever it takes, to make sure he’s out of it more often than he isn’t. Why should Matty get remorseful, anyway? They’re all monsters.

Character Facts:

Personality: Passionate, creative, charming, affectionate, defensive, conflicted, fearful, self-loathing

Since he came to White Crest, for the sake of avoiding awkwardness, Matty’s been going by an alias - Matthew Kerrigan. No, it’s not especially inventive. Because he doesn’t trust himself to remember to answer to a different first name, and alliteration should help him keep the surname straight, right? 

Warhorse is about as substantial a piece of rock history as Styx, REO Speedwagon, Twisted Sister, or Quiet Riot. So, not one of the first names that pops to mind, but not too far down the list. They’re your thing if you like “dad music.” Though, all that’s old is new again, and a few of the band’s big tracks have made their way into blockbuster soundtracks lately. There’s usually a song of theirs on your average radio mix of standard summer tunes, and since the band’s gone official on Spotify, they’ve popped up on plenty of those “Essential 80s” and “Roadtrip Classics”-style playlists. One of those bands that you’ve definitely heard, even if you don’t really know them. 

Matty still looks almost exactly the same as he did when he was fronting Warhorse. Maybe he can’t help the fact that he literally hasn’t aged a day, but. He hasn’t got rid of the band hair, either, and that’s a choice. So are is the thrift store throwback style. Dude’s living in the past… 

Matty hasn’t touched music in… decades. But he can’t really stay away. He’s started drifting in and out of any live shows in town that seem interesting. It’s not the same. Nothing is. He’s been working up the solidity to head into For the Record, just to see if he can find a couple vinyls worth having. 

Though he spent most of his time with Warhorse at the front, singing, Matty is also very capable on the piano and guitar. The rest of his artistic side shone through in the work he did designing the band’s album covers and show sets - so, for some viewers, his art has seriously nostalgic vibes. Even if they’re not sure why... 

[sinceileftyoublog]

Dogleg Interview: Buckle Up, Motherfucker

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Earlier this year, Michigan punk four-piece Dogleg released one of the most blistering, endlessly playable debuts of the year in Melee, which, yes, is a Super Smash Bros. game. At this point, much has been written about the band, from their beyond wild live shows to their Pokemon-referencing and video game-playing prowess. Lost in the shuffle is that 2020 was poised to be their year to gain even more of a national following. Released on March 13th, right as the COVID-19 pandemic hit, Melee was supposed to be supported by three cancelled tours--SXSW, an opening slot for Microwave, and an opening slot for Joyce Manor--and an appearance at this year’s cancelled Pitchfork Music Festival. Listening to the songs on the record, you can only imagine how they translate: the jerky momentum of “Bueno”, build-up of “Prom Hell”, gang vocals of “Fox”, clear-vocal anthem of “Wrist”, and odd groove of “Ender”. The band agrees that playing live is what makes them Dogleg: “Our live shows is what made us the forefront of the DIY music scene for as long as we were with such little released music,” bassist Chase Macinski told me over the phone in April.

The band’s self-titled debut EP--at the time, the band was simply a solo project of lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist Alex Stoitsiadis--was released in 2015. Full-band follow-up Remember Alderaan? (Macinski, drummer Parker Grissom) came out in 2016. In the four years between EP2 and LP1, Dogleg took their time writing what would become Melee but wasted no time debuting unreleased songs as they were finished. It was not just their energy, but their steady stream of new material that garnered the band a growing fan base, local and beyond, and eventually a deal with venerable indie punk label Triple Crown Records. “Fox” and “Kawasaki Backflip” were released as singles last November and February, respectively, and the generated hype garnered them rave reviews from publications like Pitchfork that, 10-20 years ago, probably would have scoffed at them.

Dogleg’s bigger moment--they’ve certainly had plenty of already big ones--may be on hold. Macinski continues his day job as a janitor in Southfield, about 20 minutes northwest of Detroit, while Stoitsiadis has played around with live-streamed acoustic and solo electric sets. While the group approach to writing that allowed the band to flourish when making Remember Alderaan? and Melee may not be possible without a completely reopen Michigan, and while Dogleg won’t be able to feed off of crowds for a bit, I have no doubt they’ll come back when they can with an even greater drive.

Read my interview with Macinski below.

Since I Left You: To what extent can Melee be fully appreciated without the context of the Dogleg live show?

Chase Macinski: I think you get a feeling for it. You understand it. But you still haven’t experienced it. We have been playing these songs for a long time. “Headfirst” for example, we basically had that song written by the time Remember Alderaan? came out in 2016. But we didn’t want to include it on the EP because it was close but not finished. Two weeks later, I’m pretty sure we wrapped it up, and then we were like, “Cool. We have the first song for the new album.” At that point, we thought it was time to make an album. We were playing it ever since it’s been done. As we were writing songs for the album, we were incorporating them into our live shows. A year ago, when the album wasn’t even out, half our set was still this album. Locals who saw us on the most recent tour we got to go on did catch that experience but didn’t get the whole context of the album, you know?

SILY: "Headfirst”, especially, is the most maximal song on the record.

CM: Oh yeah.

SILY: At the same time, when I read reviews of your music that say things like, “Dogleg plays loud,” or “Dogleg has energy,” it seems to leave out the complexity of the arrangements. The stop-starts, the drum fills, the crescendos. There’s a lot going on in the music, beyond it obviously being loud and fast. Can you talk about achieving a balance between raw energy and composition?

CM: We want to build up a lot of tension when we play, and we keep that in mind when we’re writing songs. We definitely try to think of, “What’s really hype? What builds up a lot of energy? What gives us butterflies in our stomach and makes us really jazzed up to hear this or anxious?” For the live shows, since we focus so much on those details, the start-stops and crescendos, it fills itself in pretty easily since we’re all focused on that and on the same page in terms of execution, that it just happens, and on the other side of that, we’re trying to be as energetic and involved and engaging with the music as possible. What we do in theory helps us out in practice, if that makes sense.

SILY: How did you approach the sequencing on Melee?

CM: We took it very seriously. It took us a lot of time to figure out what order the songs should be in. I immediately said we should start the album with “Kawasaki Backflip”, and I got some backlash on that. The other two contenders for the first track were “Fox” and “Prom Hell”. “Prom Hell” had more of an argument than “Fox” did. My attitude was, “‘Kawasaki’ starts off like a roller coaster, and that intro guitar riff is just like, ‘Buckle up, motherfucker.’ Let’s go for a ride.’” I really thought it had that tension immediately out the gate and blasted you with what could be a middle ground for the entire album, where I thought “Prom Hell” didn’t really address or show you what you can fully expect on this. For the first track, you might think something differently. After that, it was a lot of, “Okay, how does one song end and another begin?” We thought a lot about what key songs were in, what note songs ended on, how they ended, what the band was doing, what they sounded like, and then we thought about the same thing for how songs begin. “How does this one start? Does it start full-band, just guitar, drum fill?” We wanted to make sure we weren’t being too repetitive and created a sense of flow that could make one song go into the other. We even incorporated those moments where we were very specific about the time change between “Kawasaki” and “Bueno”. We were very specific about when “Kawasaki” ended and how much time passed between that and for you to hear the drums of “Bueno”. We wanted it to be an exact timing just for enough tension to be built up.

SILY: Were there any considerations to the thematic sequencing of the songs?

CM: No, not really, other than when we wrote “Ender” and decided to call it “Ender”, we knew it would be the last song. Otherwise, there wasn’t thematic sequencing because the lyrical content and the themes through the lyrics throughout the album were Alex’s thing. We write a song, and when the whole band writes the song, it’s an instrumental. Then, Alex comes up with a melody, and we all pitch in with what the lyrics might sound like, and Alex writes all the words. I’ve contributed when he’s got writer’s block and have helped him out a bit there, but for the most part, all of the themes for the lyrics he puts in. 

SILY: There’s a line on “Kawasaki Backflip” that does seem like an appropriate introductory mantra to the record: “We can destroy this together.”

CM: Yeah, I mean, I think that’s a pretty powerful statement as an introductory song on the album. “Kawasaki”’s that “buckle up” song, as well, so the instrumental aspects definitely lead into that idea of “get ready for what you’re about to experience.”

SILY: A song like “Cannonball” is a bit more swaying instead of clearly uptempo. When you go into write as a unit, do those differences occur naturally, or are they forced with any sort of intention?

CM: “Cannonball” I would say occurred naturally because we wrote the song as we were practicing one day. In between songs we were practicing and making noise, I played that main verse riff, that A to C progression. I was just bored, not thinking, and playing my bass, waiting for Alex and Parker to be like, “Okay, let’s play another song.” While I was doing that, Alex was like, “Yo, what’s that?” I was like, “I don’t know, I was just messing around.” We started building on that and took that swaying feeling for what it was, and the lyrics to add to that--I think “Cannonball” was maybe the 4th, maybe 5th song on the album, so we didn’t have any idea what would be on it at that point. We knew it was a Dogleg song.

SILY: On “Ender”, are those actual strings in the outro?

CM: Yes, those are our friends who go to music school in Chicago. We know them from the School of Rock music program we all did when we were in middle school and high school. They were home for summer vacation and had their instruments, and we asked, “Yo, can we record y’alls playing violin”...I forget the other instrument. [Editor’s note: It’s double bass.] Those are actual strings. Honestly, I thought they played the parts so well, I made a comment that, “I don’t think people will think this is real because it sounds so genuine and good.”

SILY: I actually assumed it was a synthesizer.

CM: It’s legit. They’re just really good at playing their instruments. The horns are real as well.

SILY: What’s the story behind the cover art?

CM: The cover art is Alex’s aunt’s artwork. She’s a really great artist, and we’ve used her designs in the past. If you’ve ever seen the dog pack t-shirt, where it’s the bunch of dogs in watercolor--it’s also the artwork of our first EP--she also did that. She just really likes drawing dogs. We’ve never really commissioned something from her--she’s always already made something that we’ve thought is really cool, and then Alex asks her whether we can use it for the band, and she says, “Yeah, sure go ahead.” One day we were playing a show in 2017, way before we had half the songs on the album written, before “Fox” was even an idea. [Alex] was scrolling through his aunt’s Instagram and came across that picture. I saw it out of the corner of my eye and was like, “What is that?” He just goes, “It’s just something my aunt made.” I was like, “That is a fucking phenomenal piece of art. We have to use that for our album artwork.” He was like, “Okay.” He asked, we got permission. We made no edits to it. I don’t know when it was drawn or made, but when I saw it, I immediately knew it was perfect.

SILY: Is she a fan of the band?

CM: Yeah, she likes the band. She thinks it’s really cool.

SILY: Have any of these songs evolved, from the song structure to the performance, as the fans get to know both the recorded and live versions?

CM: We play the songs faster live, that’s for sure. Before we did any recording for the album, we had to decide on a tempo we wanted to play them at for the album. But since the songs were written, it’s just whatever tempo we’re feeling. For Melee, none of the song structures have really changed. But for the Dogleg self-titled EP, a lot of those songs, we play very differently live. Alex did that all by himself, recording, drums, bass, vocals, guitar. When we got incorporated in the band, that’s when we had the ability to put our spin on it. We changed and added those stop-and-go’s, different solos. No major changes to structure, but they feel more like Dogleg songs you’d expect to hear today.

SILY: Have you written anything during quarantine?

CM: Alex has been making some riffs, but we haven’t written any music. Alex says it’s pretty difficult for him at the moment. The songwriting process for every song on Melee and every song on Remember Alderaan? has been a band experience: Someone comes to the table with a riff, melody, one piece of the puzzle, and then the entire band fleshes it out. It’s pretty difficult for us to write music at the moment when we can’t get together.

SILY: Is there anything else next for you? Are you releasing any more music videos?

CM: We have some ideas. Nothing fleshed out yet. The last thing we did was the “Wartortle” video. We also have the Eureka [Records] sessions, which were all filmed before Michigan was put under lock down. We have some guitar play-throughs that will get out eventually, where it’s Alex playing along with the songs.

SILY: Is there anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading during or before quarantine that’s inspired you, comforted you, or caught your attention?

CM: I’ve been listening to a lot of music that I’ve listened to in the past. Once I graduated college and was really active in the temporary jobs I had and on the road, I stopped using Spotify for a long time even though I still had my account. My senior year, my Spotify minutes were huge: You listen to music when you study, do homework, whatever. Once I graduated, I couldn’t listen to music while doing things. A year ago, I was working at a hospital on a research project, and you’re not allowed to listen to music during work. I had like 15% of the music usage I did the previous year. So I’ve been revisiting a lot of old music. I’ve been listening to a band called Colossal. I forget the name of the album--it’s the only one I have in my car. The first track is called “The Dusk of Us” so it’s the first thing that comes to my mind. [Editor’s note: It’s Welcome the Problems.] Phenomenal album, really nice. I’ve listened to that a lot. My roommate has an extra PC, so I’ve been playing a lot of PC games, which I haven’t done in a long time because I don’t have a PC that can keep up. I’ve been playing [Civilization VI] with friends over Discord, which is nice, because I haven’t talked to them in a while. I haven’t really been reading anything, and I’ve been trying to watch movies I’ve been expected to watch for a while. Yesterday I watched The Matrix for the first time. 

Melee by Dogleg