#but i love the ending more than my life
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Me when my found family anime continues to be a found family and have a time-skip cameo where they're still living together and have opened a diner by the sea :
#like#it was soooo cliche#i saw that coming from a mile but was still shook#but i love the ending more than my life#buddy daddies#kurusu kazuki#suwa rei#unasaka miri#kugi kyutaro#kazurei#reikazu#buddad#buddy daddies spoilers
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need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#blood tw#ruporas art#love u when i get to cuddle u and love u when i get to feel ur blood soak into my hands#being this close to one another means the eternal suffering of trying to separate love and mission. love for one and love for humanity#i like to think of pre-vol8 vash as someone who struggles with his feelings for ww bc as equal and as trusted he is -#vash knows his responsibilities and he knows/expects ww wouldn't let him stray from it either. for that he can't take to any romantic incli#and i think itd make him view ww in a stricter non-personal way... If that makes ANY sense.#for ww - take someone who youv gotten close to and ended up liking more than you expected#someone who has a belief and follows it stubbornly - someone who'll get into more fights and trouble more than youv had your entire life#ww thinks of him as a monster but he knows theres a limit he himself can take - i feel like hes considered what might be the limit for vash#for Safety measures. just in case. yknow. whenever he himself might have to load the bullet < him hyping himself up as if he could do it#my point being that the thought of vash being dead crosses his mind more than he'd like. i think its a simultaneous dread drop in his stoma#for failure of the mission - but also an Ok? They can be killed? and also a disastrous gunning of his own heart. considering how much they#both live in their own heads some days are Just the worst ever for them in each others company. but also they lov each other :[ sooo much
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Burning Rotten Bridges
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mianmian#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting#but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.
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also I've spent the last couple weeks reading some older historical romance novels, and my made up, wholly unverified hypothesis that in the 2000s romance authors finally grasped that the old-fashioned "no, don't! stop, you brute" etc. scenes were not really landing with audiences anymore. So they faced a conundrum about the future of the genre. Ultimately, I think they chose to quietly stop writing those heroes, and switch them out for a more sensitive model. Still dark and brooding! But with limits, often a Heart of Gold, and more general emotional intelligence.
Still, somewhere out there is a parallel universe where these authors decided to take the opposite approach---to write heroines as unhinged, cruel, impulsive, and emotionally ignorant as their heroes. I don't know if I want to live there, but I wouldn't mind a trip to their library sometime.
#I read a whole novel about how a man married a woman and then proceeded to abuse her#(in pretty horrific ways I'm not going to lie. there was no romance in that romance novel.)#and because she's so pure and stoic and virtuous she just....cries privately. thinks about killing him. does nothing.#and then at the end they're in love.#where is my novel where she does unhinged insane things to punish him? tries to kill him and he chuckles?#thinks dreamily about how she must be planning her next attack; is in raptures purely because she hates him so much.#that might not be love but it's the closest thing he recognizes.#meanwhile his otherwise virtuous retiring wife who's spent her whole life taking care of her family#is hunched in the corner planning how to add arsenic to his food at a dinner party because socially he will be compelled to eat it.#seducing the blacksmith so he maybe doesn't shoe his lordship's horse correctly.#befriending his mistress and quietly suggesting that if he were out of the way...maybe....it could work for both of them?#freak4freak regency would be so much more interesting than Two Featureless Dolls With Correct Politics#and I wouldn't be forced to conclude that this duke abused and stockholm syndromed his way into marriage.#from the bookshelf
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s.coups & hoshi ALLURE X NARS photoshoot behind
#svtgifs#svtcreations#svtsource#seventeen#seungcheol#soonyoung#fighting for my life trying to make this set look ok lmfao#love it when they do things together but also coloring is always a pain#because hoshi has a lot more yellow undertone than coups#so if i try to get rid of a yellow filter coups always ends up looking ridiculously pale#anyways hope this doesn't look like crap LMAO#flashing#b.edits
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happy 15 years of the duo that moulded me into the being i am today, it’s been a wild 14 years of my life and i wouldn’t have it any other way. love yall
#sorry a bit late and used up all my emotional captions already bjt#i really wouldn’t be who i am without them#idk if id even be here in all honesty#they were the one constant in my life#hilarious that despite everything dan was still more present than my father ever was#i so sleepy i’m gonna end up yapping for half an hour w no filter so i shush now#i just Love Them So Many#i hope they have some semblance of an idea of the impact they’ve made#art2 and craft2#dnp#phanart#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan and phil#dan howell#phil lester#danisnotonfire#15 years of dan and phil#incomprehensible#ugh may as well#phan#sry#btw yes am 2010 phannie butterfingers was my first video etc etc i know 12 year olds should not have been watching dan howell but THEY WERE💕
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“Sometimes I dream about you. I memorize every detail of your face like a prayer. Those moments seem so real that I grieve whenever I wake up and your spot next to me is cold. Why did you beg me to kill you? I would’ve stopped. Even in death I cannot escape you. I’m not sure I want to even if I was begging for it.”
w/ @kashisun !! (happy birthday 😭)
#simblr#sims 4 edit#ts4#the sims community#mysims#lethal devotion#marine yes I did make this for ur birthday pls don’t kill me 😭😭#putting marine and I’s oc’s in the most devastating scenarios possible at all times#i imagined this as nie finally being found out by everyone else that shes an assassin that was paid to murder nadia#nadia would be stuck because how can she explain why this murderer is able to walk free and openly be allowed in her bed#but also how can she betray the one person she truly loves??#nadia's people would demand nie be put to death and instead of begging for her life nie would beg for it to end#'i have known nothing but misery and death until i found you. i trust no one else to cleanse and free me from my own damnation'#'i know i dont deserve it but paint me heaven with my own blood'#'i cant think of anything more godly than dying by your hand"#nadia would have to stand over her holding the sword to her throat barely being able to breathe staring down at nie sobbing at her feet#but nie would never look so peaceful feeling the blade press against her skin#nadia would be screaming inside PLEADING for nie to tell her stop that's all it would take and she would stop in a heartbeat#she'd figure it out later because at least then she'd have the love of her life ALIVE AND BREATHING#but the words never came instead there would be smothering silence while nie's body lay lifeless on the ground#but Nadia knows why nie never stopped her no matter how much it hurts this was an act of love because it’s what nie wanted#NIE YOU BETTER HAUNT HER ASS#knowing nadia she would spend her entire life learning necromancy just to bring nie back to life#probably think about killing her again too for putting her through that 😭
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taco and mephone have fascinating parallels more people could explore if taco haters weren't biased cowards
#meeple.txt#inanimate insanity#ii taco#ii mephone4#dare i maintag this. watever#like taco haters r obsessed with the idea that taco is ruining herself worse and dragging everyone down with her#when shes literally just doing the challenge mephone created and even changes her intentions on hosting the challenge partway through#bc shes REALIZING how badly everyones been affected by the show just as she was#and she uses the attention she now has and urges them to leave and escape because she doesnt want anyone to end up like her#she believes shes past saving Yes#but thats exactly why shes trying to help the others avoid getting to the extent shes gone#meanwhile even when getting his wrongdoings slapped in his face mephone doubles down bc thats all he knows#thats all he feels safe with. he cant let himself trust and be vulnerable and its ruining his life and all his relationships along with him#it says SO MUCH about both mephones and tacos arcs that MEPAD. the one whos been inseparable to mephone from the Start#is seeing more hope of improvement in TACO than mephone#taco the infamous villain to everyone since s1. since before mepad was ever conscious#if anything mephone is the one ruining himself in denial and hurting others in the process#and im not saying that to vilify mephone either !!!! before you 0 nuance bitches come in#if it wasnt obvious from my entire page i LOVE mephone and i LOVE where theyre taking his character. make that man Worse ❤️#but i feel like so many ppl are just projecting mephones arc onto taco bc they dont wanna admit mephone has Issues
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[ on youtube ]
a concept for the type of OP i'd love to see for the second season of Dungeon Meshi! both s1 OPs are great, but i'm really hoping for one that captures both the "dangerous fantasy adventure" and "comedic cooking adventure" aspects of the series in equal measure, because it's the integration of those two concepts that makes the series special to me. the joyous whimsy and the dramatic horrors are equally important!!
#the song is Wild Side--the first Beastars op does the tonal shift balancing act really well#switching between primal animalistic hunger and sweet unexpected romance#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#dunmesh#dungeon meshi amv#dunmeshi amv#mypost#myamv#i have a different version of this concept but it can only exist as storyboards in my head bc i'd need to make an animatic at minimum#to bring it to life fully#the idea being that the party is moving through a cavernous darkness with watchful eyes (iykyk) looming above#they stumble across monster after monster that snaps and bites and stabs and grabs at them as they run away#with the human threats making appearances too#until they're completely surrounded by terrors in the dark#and then the tonal switch up comes. the lights flicker and snap on and all of the monsters have become piles of ingredients#thus beginning the energetic cooking montage that gives a closer look into character roles & personalities (similar to the 2nd op)#and ending with the darkness encroaching again or some other reminder that they're still surrounded by dangers#i'd want to incorporate Izutsumi and the secondary cast more than i could with the version i made here#but i did my best to match the vibe in my head!#ty again to my friend for being a sounding board for ideas and all around being super helpful during the last editing stages i love youuuu
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finding out ur coworker is way older than you thought and having to very quickly reorient how you talk to them
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#synthv#synthesizer v#genbu#kasane teto#rikka is also here :) i think she likes to cause problems sometimes. because all the adults in her life are dweebs#and very easy to cause problems with <3#anyone else have this happen before. im older than a lot of my university peers and i always have been#because i took 5 years in highschool and my undergrad has been like 6 years and counting#(hashtag learning disability <3 ) and like thats chill to me i dont mind#but now i usually assume everyones way younger than me and i get shocked when theyre not. a buddy in some of my classes#when i first met her i absolutely and completely assumed she was like barely 19 and talked to her as such#like i dont talk down to people or anything but i do soften the way i talk a bit and give a bit extra patience with younger peers#cause yknow. i remember what it was like being 19. being 26 is WAY easier lol so i wanna give em a bit of leeway yknow#anyway a few months after meeting her i found out she was actually a year older than me and a grad student when she ended up as a TA in#another class i took. i felt so bad. we bonded tho and she didnt mind she thought it was kinda funny when i was like WAIT UR A GRAD STUDENT#i thought she was like a first or second year undergrad..............#also yeah im a 31yo teto fan. i dont mind the popular fanon that she has a separate age that makes her actually 15 and#i dont mind that more interpretations have her like that BUT for my internal canon she is a grown ass woman because i think its fun <3#she pays taxes. she goes to work parties. she can rent a car. i love it#let teto rent a car. let her rent a car.#yknow im exicted to be 31. i still got a few more years of being a 20 something which is fun. but being a 30 something sounds like it rules
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Things I read on the internet that's a declaration of hate for Kana and my reaction (hoping I feel better after typing them all out)
"Kana makes everything about herself"
Did she want to be an idol? Did she want to be a center girl? (Girlie don't even know what a center girl is hahahaha). In Tokyo Blade, did she want the spotlight? That one time Kana wanted anything for herself is when she told Aqua her new dream. She did not even have a graduation concert. She did not have that movie that director told her about. In 137, she was praised for being a handy actor that can uplift others and improve herself and was described as "lacks opportunity" and many chapters after that, she still did not have an opportunity for herself. Kaburagi said they'd sell her as genius actor but that was not addressed anymore. So where is that she makes everything about herself when nothing was sbout her anyway? Not the idol career. Not as an actress. Not as a human loved back by the one she loves. She did not become anything she ever wanted so really how was this all about her? No I really want to know, how did Kana make everything about herself? Like I am really curious where this is coming from ah why do you hate Kana so much? 🥺
"___ best girl compared to Kana who only cries all the time"
Why can't we just go with the "____ best girl." period. Why do you need to put down a character to praise another character I am genuinely curious. I mean my favourite character has always been Kana but not ever did I hate on Akane or Ruby or anyone because why would I when all these characters have different stories of their own? And why do these girls need to compete with each other anyway?! Who's giving out the crown and sash? What's the point??? Your favourite is the best girl for you. Okay! Other's favourite is best girl for them. Okay, too! That's perfectly normal so why are you fighting each other I do not understand 😭
"despicable for slapping a corpse"
Kana slapping Aqua was something that belonged to them. No one knows that conversation except Aqua and Kana (and us, the readers). Miyako's reaction was very valid because she does not know anything about that conversation. Which is why when Kana told that to the dead Aqua, Miyako's reaction wasn't angry anymore. Miyako was in tears. I honestly would have killed Aqua twice if I were Kana really so a slap is nothing compared to the emotional wreck being in their lives brought her. Kana deserves to be slapped for hurting a corpse yes I agree but Aqua deserves that slap too for thinking that him dying is the great solution to whatever problem they're trying to solve.
"Kana is useless"
And what a heartbreak that is. Kana is perservering, patiently working on all the things she want to happen and absolutely nothing went her way. Kana is a representation of someone that tried and tried patiently but everything she did just made her feel useless. She grabs every opportunity, creates opportunity for herself but she is never enough. If killing one's self was a contest, I'd definitely compete Arima Kana as candidate. I would even forgive her if she just goes feral all of a sudden with all of the things that happened to her. She's useless, you say, but was that her fault?
"Kana does not deserve to be happy"
and why not? I say everyone in Oshi no Ko deserves to be happy. So why deny that to Kana?
But really. Why is she getting so much hate?
#I want to hug Kana so much#I feel so bad for her#she is trashed both in onk universe and in real life#arima kana#kana arima#and no I don't care if she does not end up with Aqua I've even made a playlist titled Almost AquaKana because I am absolute they will not#end up together but what I just really really want for Kana was for her to at least get what she worked hard for like give her that movie#give her the graduation stage and make her feel that betting as an idol was worth it#how dare this story write her showing how determined she is not to be addressed as the lesser panda only to keep her hopes up and#not give her anything in return#I love her character so much my heart breaks for her#I hope in an alternate universe she is happy and free from self-doubt and I hope she will feel that she is more than enough#oshi no ko#the haters side of the onk fandom is a hard pill to swallow#and not just Kana haters I am talking about everyone in this fandom who hates a character in the onk universe#it has been a wild ride reading all the hate they can say for a character I don't want to ever be in a place like this again
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Ok. I have listened to the people. I have watched the thing. It is very wholesome.
Kazu comes home. He is hopeless and tipsy. And he swings between excited and wasted.
#I am SICK of Miri’s voice ngl#I know kids are loud. And make a mess of EVERYthing. That’s why i stay away.#But for Kazurei ; I made it to the end#They are precious#Rei is so cute I love this guy#He has 0 human skill and still is effortlessly hilarious and a little cutie 👏💖#i wish we had more of their relationship bc they have sth really special#They never question their trust in each other like it never crosses their mind. They disagree almost all the time but they never part#It’s more natural than breathing. They’re always saying stuff like « it’s not fit to involve other people in our way of life »#it’s not even an option to live apart. They clearly will spend all their lives together#Except that scene it’s so weird when Kazu says « hum with Miri gone we don’t have a reason to live together anymore » lol man#Not as if you guys were already joined at the hip before meeting her. But I get the «the family life changed us now sth’s missing#and it feels incomplete ». But still guys. You are soul mates.#Also the « of course he comes with me. He’s my partner. » line 💕💍#even if at some point they meant to part ways ; really they can’t be separated.#kazurei#No homo daddies#Buddy daddies#kazuki x rei#Domestic gays
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The canon event where you move out of your Asian household and you realize you can throw your single-use plastic bags/containers because you have glass, ceramic, or woven baskets to keep your things. Your mind says "what if there is a new thing you must contain?" but you answer with "I don't have much to contain anyway." You have one eco bag that also works as a tote bag sometimes. It's holding on. It's very sturdy. You use it for books and groceries and gadgets. It's only one and you don't feel the need to buy another. You throw away the batteries (safely) that are empty, because what's the need to keep them around, only to be forgotten? Most of your things are solar-powered and rechargeable anyway. You don't buy clothes that you think you'll use somehow. You only have 5 sets of carefully thrifted clothes or heavily saved long-lasting designers. They're all adjustable. You accepted that the human body is ever flunctuating. You realize you don't have to keep that scrap of fabric. You bought one microfiber cloth you use for every kind of surface. You can squeeze it and it's all dry, not staying in the kitchen wet and slimy. You realize you can throw away the sticks you found in the woods NOPE NOPE I NEED THESE STICKS HERE thaNk you very much these are good sticks see KALI-KALI SIZE WOW nope these are staying!
#philippines#filipino#funny#romanticizing my distaste to consumerism because I can#indeed our parents tried to save as much as they can because life was hard and phil economy was just starting to boom#but keeping old calendars and empty batteries???#my mom will over buy something and never use it#that is not saving#however having my own space and with a decent amount of adult money#i thought I was gonna be a consumer#my mom wanted to keep my atm cuz she thought I'm not gonna be very smart with my adult money#but I rebelled moved out#and I ended up realizing that I am more mindful of consumerism than expected#I love my childhood and my parents but I don't want to live in that kind of house again#the realization that I have a choice to throw something is a liberating canon event
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sometimes I see David Tennant's face in Doctor Who as he monologues about time travel/immortality/the eternal loneliness and I go...that's him. that's my rotten lil guy. my wretched wreck of a dude. wreckage in humanoid form. the lonely divine corrupted by himself forgiven by himself made by himself made by his companions made by the universe. horrible and horrifying and far too human and not human enough. the worst thing to ever happen to so many (Martha, Adelaide, Astrid, everyone else who flashed through that whole montage thanks to Davros). a corrupter. a corruption. a cleansing. a man carved out of grief and love and pathos and hatred and grudges and forgiveness who can only make the worst decisions with the best, most selfish of intentions. a man who loved until he lost everything. a man, more than any other doctor, who should never be left alone, and yet he dies alone, with the shortest regeneration speech of any doctor. desperately lonely, desperately tragic, a disaster of a man who is too careless with everything and everyone around him.
And yet I care about him so much, because he is also the man who at the end of it all, after he lost everyone and everything he held dear, after he lost rose and donna and sarah jane and jack and martha and mickey left him and he was more alone than he's ever been, he does the right thing. the kind thing. he stops the time lords from descending on the earth. he once again gives up his people because he understands that the Time Lords Victorious cannot and should not ever be the way to go. he steps in and he saves wilfred mott. he lets himself become the doctor once again. he doesn't want to go, but instead of taking that one final step into godhood, he gives his next self a chance at being a better doctor than he ever could be.
#I DID IT AGAIN#stupid rambling#meta#tenth doctor#character study of sorts#doctor who#my writing#eleventh doctor#hey ten's character arc and his corruption and his tragedy and his callousness and his grief and the way love splits him apart speaks to me#he loves and he loses and he's guilty of so many big and small horrors but at the end he makes himself the doctor again#he is in more pain than he has ever felt#has given up his planet & his people & his companions but he still gives up one last thing- his own life- & trades it for something better#he gives it all up for wilf#and for his future self#and I REALLY want a fic where Eleven went back to see Wilf now#david tennant#russell t davies#wilfred mott
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So I've already shared parts of this on a discord server, but I have to scream about Ketheric Thorm on here as well. Obviously spoilers about the character under the cut! It's a long one.
The entirety of act 2 is about him, right? Jaheira, Shadowheart and numerous other NPCs shit on him for his fickle faith. First Selune, then Shar, then, as we meet him, Myrkul. You hear about his changes of faith on a whim, you hear that he's the person responsible for the shadow curse, he is painted as a villain, plain and simple.
You can figure it out pretty early on that Isobel was resurrected and that she is his daughter; the detail as well that he wants Isobel alive is so on the nose, it gives him away completely but there are still a few questions that remain unanswered, mainly about his faith.
And then you get to the mausoleum and the picture assembles; this entire tragedy, the death of hundreds if not thousands and the complete ruination of a landscape was all, ALL because you had this absolutely wrenched, heartbroken father who had lost everything and nobody answered his grief. He was left woefully alone, the Goddess whose daughter his daughter was involved with did nothing to save Isobel.
Imagine outliving your wife and your daughter. Imagine dedicating your life to fight the Lady of Loss, your Lady of Silver's enemy, and then be left so completely alone and in silence with your grief, with your loss. It's so, so poetic how and why he turned from Selune, and it's so understandable as well; he broke. His spirit completely broke. He couldn't deal with that void of having lost the only two important people in his life, seemingly undeservedly so. He was going mad with this and a lot of his ire was likely targeted at Aylin who, in his eye, represented Selune; she's literally her daughter, after all, and it was implied that even before the deaths of his family, he sort of saw Aylin courting Isobel as Selune taking his daughter from him, despite his service. This relationship was clearly not seen by him as a boon of "giving his daughter to the Moon-maiden".
His ways in the past clearly didn't spare him from tragedy and having to cope with it (which he clearly didn't, he snapped under the weight of his grief). He was clearly angry and unable to do anything, furious and helpless, which is a dangerous combination. A good part of his first change of heart must have been fuelled by a sense of revenge.
But then Shar didn't provide any balm to his aching heart either. If you read his letters in Grymforge and in act 2, he is so focused on enacting the will of Shar because he believes that healing lies in oblivion. Everything would be easier if he could just forget, if the damn world could just forget, if nothing was remembered because without Melodia and Isobel, nothing was worth remembering.
Then came Myrkul. Literally the only god who was not only able, but WILLING to give back his daughter to him. Imagine spending your all, EVERYTHING you have to serve two gods who would not give a single shit about the greatest suffering in your life. You were basically nothing, your loyalty didn't matter for shit, everything that was taken from you amounted to no recognition whatsoever: you should simply cope and seethe. Your grief will not simply go unanswered (which is not inherently antagonising) but ignored.
And then comes this supposedly evil entity who can alleviate your pain just like that, snap of a finger and it's a done deal.
I am so serious when I say that I believe Ketheric's main incentive was to extend Aylin's immortality to Isobel as well. You can read in her diary that she feels a taint after having came back, and there are things not even Selune can cleanse, but at this point, Ketheric doesn't care about Selune, vengeance is secondary if not tertiary, he's done that war during his Shar years and what did it give him? Literally nothing.
He doesn't even care about the fact that Isobel is still her cleric. He cares about the single most important fact: Isobel is back. Life is worth living again, there is something for him, and it was not Selune or Shar who gave it to him but Myrkul, and for this singular gift, he would raze the world for the Lord of Bones. Like people can clown on him for being disloyal but the man has the loyalty of a dog bonded to its owner.
He is powerful and is willing to go to insane lengths for crumbs. What is raising a single life for a god? Nothing. It has happened and it will happen again. But Ketheric will go to the ends of the earth to serve the single god who actually listened to him. The one god who didn't ignore him.
He knows that what he does is not the morally upright thing! He is so insanely self-aware that allying with Orin and Gortash and doing this entire plot with them only to then betray them is morally reprehensible at the best of times, he knows that people hate him, etc-etc. He was a Selunite at one point and he's not stupid. He just doesn't care; it could be literal Asmodeus and he wouldn't care as long as he got what he wanted, no matter the price.
He is probably the only one from the three of the chosen who has complete clarity over his situation, he almost sways (if you pass the check during his confrontation), he is not an inherently evil man blinded by power.
But he is inherently loyal to those deserving, and as of the story's standing, completely broken by his grief. In his eyes, at this point, the only one deserving loyalty is the one who actually listened to him. Isobel lives. It doesn't matter that she hates him, that his entire life has fallen apart, that literally nothing else that is good has come of it, because Isobel lives.
I don't think he regrets a single thing. His consciousness might tear at him at the end, but I believe he would do everything over again, exactly as he did, because in the end, his daughter was brought back. Because what would a grieving, broken parent give to bring back their child? Everything. Absolutely everything. And it's such a simply given answer, no second thoughts, no doubts.
Nobody can tell me that this man is fickle. Nobody. This man was willing to burn the world to the ground, create a Boudica destruction layer all by himself for the one single thing he wanted. For any God that would listen.
I don't know, I just have a lot of thoughts about his character.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#ketheric thorm#and I also have a lot of thoughts of how Aylin foils him#I fully believe that he was in the right in the capacity that he switched around his gods when he was literally ignored despite his life's#work. despite all that he has given. I think it's reasonable to expect in the world of gods who actively meddle in mortal affairs on their#whims and make shit worse that in just one single case they would. idk. NOT expect one of their devotees to remain blindly loyal to them#after their prayers go unanswered. like yes; go and try your luck elsewhere because this devotion of yours is clearly being taken for#granted. you get NOTHING out of your worship. you can't even sleep well because your loved ones are dead and you are expected to just what?#deal with it on your own? and remain loyal? why?#some sense of 'honour'?#I really like this depiction of faith actually. I really like when clerics and paladins are given agency and critical thought that hey!#this is actually giving me nothing despite me dedicating my entire life to it! and I have only one of it so why not take it somewhere where#it's actually valued. you know. as a treat.#I *personally* much more prefer this depiction of a crisis of faith than what we got with Shadowheart or Lae'zel; their stories are very#interesting on their own but I think throwing yourself from one end to the other not because you actually have a goal that it could serve#but because you are desperate for a purpose#is a slightly less potent character narrative than having an actual goal yourself. not by much but by a little.#again#PERSONALLY
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this one's for all the yuri enjoyers out there — nsft under cut
meronia event prompt(s): scar
#death note#mello#near#meronia#meroniaevent#fem mello#fem near#i had fun w this one!! i love drawing yuri even though i dont do it nearly as much as i want lol#also i love drawing bush thumbs up emoji#i let the lines be messier bc my hands have been a little sore and i am not in the mood for linework#and in honor of yuri day i should get to do whatever i want forever peace and love on planet yuri#anyway i didnt know what to do w near's hair but decided to keep it short bc i didnt want to cover her back for composition reasons#sorry for posting so late i woke up at like 10am which is late for me as of late and had school shit to do boooo#also im in the mood to talk so i made a pot pie today (no meat im vegetarian) and i followed no recipes and used my heart to make#it and i did so well it fucks so hard my heart always leads me to greatness and recipes do nothing for me bc im a culinary genius#<-blatantly untrue but we stay silly#oh!!! and also i got a thing in the mail the thing being a weevil plushie i ordered a bit back that i bought on a whim that i should not#have bought bc im saving my money but actually he makes my life a million bajillion times better and i love him dearly#anyway meronia event is making my life so much better i feel 100% better than i did 2 days ago and hopefully the joy this brings#me will stay w me for long enough to get through the rest of my summer classes bc they are killing me lol. my current ones are ending#in like a week or smth but i have 2 more in july *sobs* all this just to graduate a semester early#k anyway enjoy the yuri ...or dont. im not the boss of u. ig
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