#but i learned it and it actually wasnt as bad as i thought id be

[fictionfixations]

this is my first time hearing of this so i dont know if theres like some other context related to this im missing (or if this message just happened out of the blue) but i dont really wanna know either way.

^^^ but all points in this are valid (the reblogged post i mean)

i would like to at least hold out hope that nothing bad happened until it is confirmed (do not ask them what happened, im sure its stressful as it is) but that is not to say that i invalidate the people who spoke up because im sure they have their reasons too but we do not know what happened and we cannot know what (again do not ask what, we are not entitled to that information)

i want to believe in both sides. i don't want to end up being the kind of person who doesn't believe in a victim or is against a person who didn't actually do anything wrong, so im going to be patient and if nothing ever gets said about it thats fine too

do not speculate. what comes out of it could be aiming pitchforks at someone who didn't do what you think they did, or bringing out someone's trauma over something all over again because you want to know or you think oh maybe this could be why so and so happened

this is my own opinion, but id say to withhold any judgment and thought you might have on this until we get a confirmation. this is not to say that you can do whatever you want with this information after, because that is not true at all.

feeling uncomfortable regarding it is valid, im not saying you cant have your own opinions over it, id just prefer it if people could treat this sensitively, and with respect for the other members to not try to find out more then what has been shared, nor overly target people over something you do not have confirmation over

im sorry as ive been repeating points a lot, but ive seen people acting really disrespectfully to all the people involved in something similar to this because they want to know, but they do it with zero regard for the person on the other side of the screen

(this is more referring to people asking those who were friends to that person about it but it was a really bad situation overall, and they were attacking them when they didn't get a response out fast enough without considering that they'd just learned that someone they cared about was a terrible person and needed time to process that. now in this case its not fully confirmed but i really dont want to see that happen again.)

^ updating my response above, as there is a doc with information about what happened which i noticed in one of the comments on the original post. i just wasnt sure if something really bad happened considering the vague statement in the twitter post but considering its been spoken out now of what happened i can safely conclude that hes probably not innocent (understatement). (again, please do not hound the victims nor the hermits on information about this)

i just didnt wanna assume anything. this isnt to say that i didnt trust in what evidence they saw that made them conclude that the accusations were credible, it was just worded in a way that sounded very vague, and as a person who would like to see the goodness in everyone i tend to stay in denial about these kinds of things because i want to believe that they are not that kind of person, at the very least until its either admitted by the guilty party, or theres a credible statement from the victim

also it might feel like im understating things with how i describe them, thats my bad. i usually describe things in swear words but considering hermitcraft has a mainly young audience im trying not to and it also feels a little inappropriate over a serious topic. but it means i default to referring to something as 'bad' or 'not so good' which can come off as like im trying to make it seem not as bad as it actually is which isn't true at all. im just trying to be really careful about how i word things or what i say considering this is a serious topic but it means im not sure how to describe it so i end up going with what i default to outside of swears.

um. also please dont go asking for proof from the people affected nor the hermits cause i really dont think its appropriate and could lead to triggering them further. its also very personal.

i emphasize my point as a person who has also gone through bad things, and trying to look back through those old messages were really triggering and it was just not a good time. i imagine it was rough enough to get screenshots of what they did get so please leave it alone. they went through the trouble of sharing it in public, you are not entitled to more

and i get it might be rough to trust CCs after having your trust broken with one being revealed to be a bad person but PLEASE do not accuse other CCs of the same behavior. they are just as shaken as you that someone they thought they knew could be like that. please leave them alone, thank you.

PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND:

we, as fans, do not have a right to private information. anything shared with us on this is a privilege. please do not abuse it. the cc's could shut down and never talk about it if we overwhelm them.

also, please keep in mind that ONE HERMIT and THE ENTIRETY OF HERMITCRAFT are NOT THE SAME THING. the entire fandom is not 'ruined' or 'completely unsafe' because of the actions of one person.

PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME THAT THE OTHER HERMITS KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT WHATEVER'S GOING ON WITH ISKALL. this is not some big conspiracy, it's the consequences of one person's actions. they weren't hiding this from us, that's not how hermitcraft works, they truly didn't know. they probably knew as much as us about this, so making it an 'us against them' situation is immature and shortsighted.

ALSO, I AM BEGGING EVERYONE TO PLEASE NOT SENSATIONALIZE THIS. PLEASE DO NOT TURN HATING ISKALL INTO A MEME OR A JOKE.

mcyt'ers being revealed to be less-than-great people is not a rare thing, sadly, but i've seen it turned into a joke/meme/trend in other fandoms. this both minimalizes the actual people's/victims' struggles, makes the entire situation feel less serious than it is, especially to outsiders looking in, and makes everyone in the fandom look immature, petty, unable to take anything seriously, and genuinely harmful.

this server, fandom, and community are not dying, it is not ruined forever, this is one (major, i'm not trying to minimalize it) issue that we're currently dealing with. it will be okay. we will move on. this is not the beginning of the end. please calm down. i love this fandom, god bless all of you. <3

edit: doc has said on stream that we will likely get more information as time passes. like i said, this is a PRIVILEGE. we are not OWED information. please be grateful for what we're given, and POLITELY ask questions if you must. if a cc doesn't give you the answer you want, or doesn't answer at all, LEAVE THEM ALONE. THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO HARASS PEOPLE. the hermits are likely just as stressed out as us, if not probably more so, so please keep that in mind when contacting them.

don't freak out, we'll be okay, this is not the end of the world, nor is it the end of Hermitcraft. we will be okay.

second edit: please remember that (at least as far as we know) ISKALL AND STRESS WERE NOT KICKED OR BANNED. THEY LEFT OF THEIR OWN VOLITION.

ALSO!!! VERY IMPORTANT!!!

WE. DO. NOT. KNOW. EXACTLY. WHAT. HAPPENED.

PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME ANYTHING SIMPLY BASED OFF OF OTHER MCYT'ERS PAST ACTIONS/SCANDALS. WE DO NOT KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. WE MIGHT NOT EVER KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. WE NEED TO BE OKAY WITH THAT AND NOT DRAW OUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.

[delightfuldevin]

I have now learned Till Depth Do Us Part and Hide and Sleek,,

[arolesbianism]

I need to make a new pmd story right now or I'll explode

[sereniv]

apologies are hard and can be embarassing

but life is too short to let your grandma go to bed sad

[qui-gg]

opinion on the bog ii 🤖🤖🤖

I’ll assume you mean bot and answer accordingly

(Drops art i havent shared and wasnt really planning to. But its appropriate for the things ill talk about yay)

Fun fact i didn’t really have a strong opinion of bots character for a while but then one day i woke up and went “I have an idea for a gjinka” and it caused me to get into their character and now its like my fav gjinka to draw

(Some fun facts about that gjinka design: their head is completely magnetic, and their “hair” is a set of completely removable accessories so their natural state is bald, they can add as much or as little as they want. Also they continue to wear a little pink because i was thinking of the “I can still like chocolate cake” line- they can still like pink too)

I LOVE BOT. Even though i have thoughts and opinions about the iffy nature they were implemented overall i love the concept of a character who was made to be someone else and theyve given me a lot to chew on which i appreciate with a character. What really fascinates me about them is how their interactions with other characters play out so id like to talk more about that⬇️

Their relationship with Cabby was what caused me to create the gjinka design in the first place, and then I found a song that made me think of them and i was like Wow. Bot and cabby’s initial impressions of one another being somewhat at odds due to miscommunication but ultimately other factors (cabby’s disability and bot’s suppression of their fake memory- wow they both have memory issues!) was something that lasted a while but then iii14 saw the end of bot’s assumptions of her being strained when they finally had the chance to actually talk with one another. Bot assumed that Cabby was obsessed with finding a way to explain their existence and identity which they very much felt didn’t need an explanation for who they were, but they realized this is only the way cabby processes the world around her they both place importance on identity both with not knowing their pasts and carving a way for their futures the way they are and they can do it together agh i love ittt

Here my gjinkas of them with an outfit styleswap

One day i kind of started placing suitcase in bots position to cabby though and i just think about their potential relationship primarily now though LMAO but thats unrelated

With fan and test tube I had stronger opinions about how the circumstances/reasons behind creating them weren’t strong enough and it caused both of their characters to backslide from where they were in ii14 but now i like to look at it and take what i can get from it because i like it when characters do bad and questionable things its interesting to analyze why they did something so selfish. In fan’s case he didnt have a strong connection with bow’s death when it happened beyond being a fan of her bc of his low empathy at the time especially he didnt process it as Death, and he believes he knows everything about bow as the number1 fan so now hes the best person for the job, and test tube coldly decides to recreate the image of a person under the idea shes now using her strengths for a good cause, but shes wrong and she has to learn shes wrong. Theyre not bot’s parents- but it’s easiest for them to describe them that way, since they created them, but that’s not quite how their relationship is at all. Bot has no real familial ties with them, and test tube created them with the sold intention of being somebody other than they are, so that’s always going to stick with them and theyre not just a blindly happy family now. Bot is also a grown adult that doesnt just go away they shouldn’t be infantilized so much. They can be friends with fan and test tube because they now recognize them as Bot but honestly theyd prefer keeping a distance when they can because they wish they were made intentionally or were just a person, but they appreciate being created. Its a pretty unique situation

What really fascinates me the most though is the concepts of how they are in relation to Bow, with the concept of being created as a replication of someone who already exists being so terrifying for both involved. In Bot’s perspective, their conscious is being repressed intentionally to continue living someone else’s life who they never even knew and doesnt identify with. And everyone is acting like its fine and okay when theyre the only one who seems to see how scary this is. They just struggle to grasp with their very existence with the only thing to guide them being a paragraph of a character description and to spew references that dont make sense. In BOWS perspective, she was a celebrity and the most popular contestant in the first season of a reality show, and even after dying on it the fans just screamed for her to “come back” though it was impossible. So her likeness kept getting replicated by both the show (doughs inclusion) and fans (bots creation) who both misrepresented her and she could do nothing but watch it play out. Her death was being denied and other people were living her life just because she was popular on a show, it’s terrifying. Terrifying and despair inducing for both of them theyd both have a disdain for one another on an existential degree, and bot finding their identity is freeing for both of them.

Lifetime achievement award made me insane abt this thanks panks

:D ive talked long enough so thanks for reading this far if you made ittt ! More art

[youweremyridehome]

People I'd Like to Know Better

Tagged by: @ghostlament (thank you and also im so so so sorry im only now getting to it but in my defense - i forgor)

Last Song: Disease by Lady Gaga

a friend sent me the spotify link to it when it came out and i straight up listen to music so little nowadays that even though i listened to it almost 2 weeks ago, i havent listened to anything else since 🥴

Favorite Colour: orange!

i own very few orange things but i find it such a a nice colour to look at and its been a fave since i was a kid. purple is a close second, id say

Last Book Read: System Collapse by Martha Wells (The Murderbot Diaries)

thats honestly embarrassing cause im pretty sure i read that at the end of last year????? wow and yoinks. unless i read the arc of a scythe books this spring but i dont think i did. i think that was in '23 also. aw man, i have a notes file with a long-ass list of books and everything but ive been so miserable this year i basically havent partaken in most of my hobbies/interests

Last Movie: The Substance

would recommend

Last Show: Bridgerton (im on s3 so no spoilies, please!)

this one friend of mine has a toddler so i regularly visit her and we started watching it half-jokingly to have sth in the background while the kid slept in the other room but it turned out to be a very gripping and silly soap opera and very fun to watch so its sort of tradition now to watch it together

Sweet/savoury/spicy: S W E E T

i am, unfortunately, a megaslut for sweet stuff 😞 i mean im not gonna turn my nose up at savory nor spicy foods, obviously. but i straight up cannot be trusted to be left alone around sweets. there are a couple of foods in particular that i will simply inhale all at once. ill feel so so bad and sick right after (tummy too full) but i never learn and always make the same mistakes 👍

Relationship status: single

its rare that i like someone and so far those few times that i have been interested in someone they havent been interested in me 😄 im ace though so im having an easier time of it than most of my single friends, thoughts and prayers 🙏

Last thing I looked up: publication date for System Collapse

cause while trying to answer q3 i thought 'wait wasnt that like a year ago???' (it was)

Current obsession: 1) mouthwashing WHICH I HAVENT EVEN PLAYED YET BUT IT SEEMS SO SICK!! (we're going to play together with a friend HOPEFULLY next week) and 2) the locked tomb and [REDACTED] cause i have to [REDACTED] for [REDACTED] and im overthinking it 👍 and 3) permanent makeup (specifically, brows) because ive been dreaming of getting permanent brows for about 20yrs now but its only now that the tools and techniques have developed to the point where they can look genuinely natural so im planning to gift myself some nice eyebrows (and maybe lips?) for my 35th birthday

Looking forward to: mouthwashing lan-party-sleepover !!!!!!!!!!

we might play signalis after. or maybe bg3 because i last played innnnnn. june 👍

Tagging: @mafaldinablabla, @troilvs, @snikkeler, @expatgirl, @jademaomi, @yarrowace , @calamitouscrouton , @discoveryinthedark , @urban-sith , @diabolisk (obv more than ok to not participate if you dont feel like it. ALSO - you dont actually have to elaborate on the answers, i just felt that i wanted to 🤷‍♀️)

[imustbenuts]

ouggh could you please elaborate on your criticism of brave Alfonse ...I like hearing your thoughts (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

alright. so this is just a messy sloppy thought vomit essay again im so sorry in advance.

and i am salty overall about this.

in 2 words: traditional conservatism

in many many words:

ALFONSE. OPEN UP YOUR WAY CARVE YOUR OWN PATH WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGG IF YOU ARE SAYING HE HAS POTENTIAL JUST. FUCKING. COMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU COWARDS! HAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHG learn from your dad's ruling policy yes but don't become your dad and carve for the affection you cannot have jfc

IN MORE WORDS

gustav is. objectively speaking, not a good father in the emotional growth department. I've mentioned and maintained by him looking like an Asian tiger parent from my pov. even if he does lay out proper foundations and maybe good hc adjacent policy for country ruling, his approach of parenting is questionable at best.

I get him operating under pressure and sickness with a limited time left to raise his son in a manner befitting of the throne but like. All sink and no swim? No proper explicit guidance? You can't just be "I want my child to meet expectations and dispense no love", that's just straight up neglect my guy. hes very much the 2 faced proud big important parent person.

realistic, but yuck.

i dont think they even have a father son moment probably ever. Henriette and Gustav have a more functional relationship bc they actually dated and had proper human interaction, but it's likely given cultural asian and high expectations context irl, his kids were treated more like objects and successors. Despite everything he might have felt and expressed behind the scenes. again, the affection is not expressed and conveyed directly enough to his kids, and alfonse being his successor means. alfonse has major daddy issues and anxiety about succeeding the throne.

So now, brave alfonse, having lost this dad and understandably craving for fatherly affection and going through it in the plot, is. you know. in the process of redefining himself. arguably is always, but now, its either he's the successor of, King Gustav the Great II or The Next King of Askr. his role as with many many other of his type are to be a signifier of a new era. thats the whole point of successors!

hes even all "ILL OPEN THE WAY". implying that something before wasnt working out and a new path must be blasted open for a better future. thats the whole theme.

But the effect of Alfonse donning his fathers armor in this case is not respect, it reeks of insecurity! again, does alfonse know his father as Gustav The Person to a reasonable degreee? if by that we mean a neglecful parent but a decent king, okay. but why is there a need to repeat this cycle by wearing from head to toe, from body language to skill 1:1 of his dad. howis this a good thing...

dude. what the hell is intsys doing. do i need to call their parents or what the hell is this conservative traditional filial pathetic nonsense. what the hell happened to all of the other fire emblems who are 5 steps more progressive than this

(granted i do find FE to be very conservative on the whole now that ive stewed in the pot of it all but thats a me thing. it could also be dependant on the writer but idk them well enough to know who does what)

and heres my ideal fucking scenario, right. not very hard. id argue just picking up gustav's mantle OR axe and then working it into a new outfit that is explicit alfonse's would be miles better and what i would want. a signifier that alfonse the character knows himself and wants to walk his own path while honoring the good parts of gustav and discarding the bad.

not this. reanimation method of almost wanting to wear his fathers' skin. as if he cant move on and stand on his feet. as if hes unsure. as if they dont want him to commit (at least not yet bc we gonna milk FEH for as much as we can). despite. all the things that have been happening.

instead of rolling with the punches the armor feels like him not doing that. it might have been an easy alt to decide on, but character wise, i dislike it a lot.

[nitrokiraru]

chapter 1 of uuultra c finished!

sorry for the scuffed screenshot i dont think theres a cg library?? (understandable i heard theres over 1000+) but oh my god i actually loved this SO much thoughts under the cut

lemme start out by first saying how much i already prefer this to hashihime like maybe its the jazzy 70s setting but i was sold like 5 min in. the plot is actually fantastic i didnt think id care as much about 70s borderline superhero mfs but i DID i was literally so engaged in this shit its crazy

i really fucked with kozuka. ik they call him akira but theres two characters named that and i just wanna make it clear i mean Him

like he is just everything i love his cute lil snaggletooth. i loved him hes my fav chara from chapter 1 at least ill see how i feel when i play every chapter but for now imma say hes my fav. the side characters were rly interesting too

now lemme talk abt akishou. (i think thats their ship name? im not too deep into the actual fandom yet so idk) i do not play about them. this chapter wasnt even that long and i got sooo attached to them like do NOT separate them at all costs. it was a little poetic that shou was a kaiju and kozuka was an icarus like i was so scared they were gonna end it off sadly and IM VERY GLAD THEY DID NOT. because i mightve cried idk like I JUST LOVE THEM I CANT

and overall idk im bad at words but i loved this a LOT and im very excited to play the other chapters after this. really interesting plot and characters like even the side characters slayed. i def wanna learn more abt shirou and isshiki which i believe is the 2nd chapter

[docilepillow]

March Media Diary Thing 2024

This one's a weirdo! I'm typing this first paragraph after the fact, because it's the 30th instead of the exact end of the month like i wanted to post it . This post's a two-phaser, just because the way i typed this one out was in a " Live thoughts as fresh as i got them on the day i did stuff " kind of format. I didn't realize that there'd be so many more embeds then in febuary and january, but i guess it's just that kind of thing where you end up doing alot or doing the same but having more to say on it because its Now and not Before? I guess? I dunno. Everything below this space was gonna be from the start of the month , approaching towards the end. Okay, see you at the end of the second media diary post, now ! I'm gonna mix up this one and like unlike the last two i'm gonna try and write to this as i finish stuff instead of leaving it all until the end of the month, i think. im wondering if it'll make my thoughts more consise or not, but honestly, i have no idea! the main thing i think that gets lost out from this is the fact that i'll probably have less personal anecdotes about the month itself. Ohhhh.... MIGHTY SWITCH FORCE! < Silliest 3DS Home Screen Jingle >

i'm not giving this one a docism as a title just because it's kind of embarrasing to make too much more focal then it is, but the game's visual design and the way it flaunts itself does kind of make it a little distracting, but, i guess, more then anything else i've played from wayforward. um

i dont think its nessisarily a bad game or anything its perfectly alright. its like a little short for the price it retailed at on 3ds at least but its like. mediocre good i think . its not like bad or anything. its mostly just a game that sells itself with cute girls. which is fine i guess. like the game design Holds but the games focus is kinda scattershot, but whatever. it doesnt overstay its welcome or anything. the design's sound its just kind of okay all around NO MORE HEROES 2 - DESPERATE STRUGGLE < voice clip game of all time >

unintentional misogyny theming in this media diary oh no

coincidentally as i was playing i learned that the day i chose to start this game came out 3 years after the first game, which, coincidentally , lines up with the game's actual in-universe timeline iif my opinions on this game lines up itll be like, (9) years until i play the next one thats for sure

ok so my story with this series is that i played the first game accidentally completely handicapping my own experience with it because i didnt know you could upgrade your stuff in it and thus made everyone in the ggame into a big dumb hp sponge that wasnt enjoyable to figght and despite my best efforts to try and like this game more ( And, i will say, despite the very prevalent appeals to the male gaze, it CAN be charming ! ) i also took entirely way too long to learn about switching weapons worked functionally, just because despite SEEING the tutorial prompt for weapon switching, i didnt put it together because it takes a bit longer to activate then you'd expect, and thus, never used it. Oops! but yea this game mostly just stands on its own crass nature and in that respect its both very self aware and self indulgent. if you like that kind of vibe youll enjoy the game and its style or be mostly indifferent/uncomfortable with it . Shrug! shinobu is pretty cool. u get to play her after the events of the first game and its neat.

one thing i like about this games like direction is that its very well established that nobody in this game is a good person like even remotely and in that aspect it does get to explore cool stuff i can appreciate. i like that much. i tthink my favorite boss conceptually is the big robot you fight at one point in the battle royale segment. but id mostly consider this game as kind of a gimmick. i can see elements in there that'd make it a classic to a certain brained kind of person, but it doesnt appeal to me. i did wanna try and i did get at least to the very end until the final boss, at least. people say thats one of the worst final bosses in video games period and i gotta say they didnt lie shit doesnt really work

i got endeared by this sign , so i took a screenshot of it . i also like the crickets in the bug minigame.

pretty good though the games just kind of middle of the road for me overall. i didnt hate it enough to not completely finish it and as of typing this and as is its only 3/9 , so i might still truck through the final battle of this game, but, i wont really guarentee or force myself after 3 hours straight of it ----- ok nevermind literally the next day first thing when i woke up i first tried the guy lol games charming its just very peculiar

get fucked idiot SUPER MARIO BROS DELUXE

I technically started this last month but this is the month where i actually sat down and finished it just because MAR 10 ran around so like. might as well fish out some random mario sidescroller to play next also. its short and ive heard some ssay its like definitive mario 1 but the way mario's speed + the screen crunch make it kinda sloppy in a way. limitations of a gameboy color i know but i guess as a standalone way of playing mario 1 its not like. the worst in the world . ive never actually finished mario 1 before on my own so this is a new experience for me !

if you think the 3ds being retro in the modern day is extra fucked up, consider the fact that this version of mario 1 came out 14 years after the original....!!!! if you think the ds being retro in the modern day is extra fucked up, consider the fact that this version of mario 1 came out 14 years after the original....!!!!

Dōbutsu no Mori ( The Animal Crossing Anime Movie ) < Ough-est main character >

Watched this one again for the second time in a discord movie night! A very sweet and nice little movie with very very very cute characterrs. i see the able sisters on the screen and i clap

whats wrong with her

shes like a frog anyway the movies cute and theres aliens at the end. id describe it as a very loving adaptation of an animal crossing player's imagined version of events going on in an animal crossing gamecube-era town. though the biggest thing of all that endears me is AI i think theyre so silly looking

Pictured : Another Silly Subject KERO BLASTER

another game ive played many times before, but, considering my recent cave story fix, i felt drawn to playing it again. i still think its a cute and extremely solid sidescroller game..aaaa ithink everyone should give it a try if thats ur kind of game. also theres lots of very good video game enemies in this

very simple but effective art direction theres like a very nice feeling of atmosphere to it ( cool game ) idk what else to say ive playedd this game like five times before and this is a media diary for documenting new feelings and thoughts and not for like full on game reviews, i think. < Mid-Month Side Note >

i still havent completed this game's story mode to this day, but, recently, cus' the efforts of the team 0% team ( group of crazy freaks with the sole goal of making sure every mario maker 1 / 2 level gets cleared ) ive been driven to try and finish my super world recently. i might feel like showing off the levels ive made at the end of the week,as well, but it's honestly really satisfying, even if i know that the userbase for this game's comparitively shrunk since launch. idk! its fun to make mario levels. i think its satisfying and ill do it even if nobody plays them. also apparently i forgot to turn off my nso subscription so thats why im extra driven to upload lots of levels while i have it. I still hate how NSO is a paid service attached to online. it just kind of paywalls large swaths of games that don't need it and it's just dumb, evil, corporate greed. Ugh! That's the price of gaming in the modern era, i guess....

PETAL CRASH < Thank you, Bison...! >

game i've only played very recently, and arguably, doesnt fall under regular completion criteria, as it's mostly meant to be played on a whim in short bursts ( it does have a short story mode, though, plus a bunch of challenges i haven't played yet..! ) ( I might not be smart enough, for those... ) , but that doesnt really matter! This game is absurdly , amazingly, adorably adorable! !! !

Look at these things!

Ouuu!

Fairy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aside from having an adorable fairy character that appeals to every aestetic i love, its also a decently digestable GBC styled puzzle game ! thats really fun!! and ive been playing it on steam deck, where, i think, it really shines!! the character design in it is really good!

i've yet to master it , as it's pretty fast paced, but its essentially a match game that bumps stuff togetheer good with cute characters like puyo. i havent interacted with that series before but i have played kirbys avalanche and star stacker and this is pretty fun like those. if you like those games you'll like this.

Thanks to my BF for buying this game for me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Record of Lodoss War: Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth < most symphony of the night award >

the docism is kind of demeaning but this game is really solid i finished it just now in 6 hours ( 3/21 ) ( Wait, those numbers add up to 6! wow! ) i think this games strongest suit is how drop dead gorgeous the sprite art is . like . holy shit there are giant gorgeously animated ps1 quality era crisp pixel perfect sprites just everywhere

the picture quality google images gave me doesnt do it justice but there are just like these fantastically rendered fantasy sprites wherever you wanna look for it and it just reminds me how awesome the ladybug developer team is. i think in terms of indie studios ive gotten attached to this is definitely like a dev i eagerly cant wait to see what they do next in the metroidvania sphere. like. considering the source material the actual designs dont stray too far from like what " conventional " fantasy looks like,( A little basic ) , they still kept my attention just from the number of moving parts and shit. and like. mechanically this game is actually pretty neat. they make you juggle a whole lot of projectiles on screen, but it becomes pretty managable when you learn how the two-prong element system works to be pretty engaging ( It reminds me alot of cave story's weapon system, actually! ) ( really cool! ) https://clan.cloudflare.steamstatic.com/images//36872249/d5f18e9ecfb93d0547f6ccf894cd2e0bab2d12c1.gif WHAT???? tumblr posts have a 20 image limit! What! i didnt know about this! i think websites should let u post as many cool images as you want. i should make a neocities for these at some point if i keep doing them...... regardless i think this game is awesome even if the story is kind of like throwaway ( saying this as someone who hasnt engaged with the source material yet, which there apparently is, so maybe thats not a fair thought. on the games steam community page though i saw a gif of the main character in an anime adaption wiggle her ears around with a silly face, so maybe it'd appeal to me if i look into it? Huh. ----- PART TWO WILL BE POSTED SOME TIME IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS FROM THE EMBEDDING ISSUE -------------------

[millimononym]

its friday the 13th! in october! and its also cringetober day 13: creepypasta

creepypastas used to scare the shit out of me when i was a kid and the funny thing is i didnt even watch any actual scary content with them it was always the fandomized anime twinks living in a mansion kind of creepypasta vids. also because for some reason the kids magazine i used to read in the "answering questions" part one day answered some kids question abt who jeff the killer was. i dont remember if they said it was just a story or if they spread it as like an urban legend which creepypastas were supposed to be but it still scared the shit out of me regardless. why would you answer a question about a scary story with graphic murders (i distinctly remember them putting his murder methods in there) in a kids magazine?? and i remember they stole someones art of him and it wasnt even scary it was literally just anime jeff standing over the viewer but like reading that scared me sooo bad whenever i went out at night i always thought id get jeff the killed by jeff the killer or any other creepypasta. but yknow that was an important experience kids gotta learn fear somehow. hear a good(or bad) scary story every now and then. get terrified by someones edgy OP oc that got popular. i think i also spread this by putting the fear of slenderman in some younger kids i knew so lol

[goremet-chef]

guhh im so bothered rnn (vent/rant)

so... i? idk. ive been out as trans in my house since 2020. my mom doesnt call me dom (sometimes she does if my sibling encourages her to, but she defaults back to my deadname anyways) and ive learned to accept it. i dont think she ever will and its sad for me, the reality that once i start my transition, ill need to just.. leave a lot of my family behind. they think its some rebellious choice like i hate all of them but im more worried about them hating me

my mom says shes supportive but is actively right wing, shes having an inner battle with her ideologies, i know that. i can tell by how she talks about homeless people vs how she talks about us being queer

so. whatever. thats my mom i guess. but for a long time, i wasnt out to my moms husband. i despise him and ive never intentionally started a conversation with him, let alone come out. ive started to not care about what he thinks. i know what he thinks, he thinks gays should die, said it straight to my gay siblings face. okay, cool. doesnt concern me, moms bf is absolutely fucking nothing to me.

to remedy this sort of like... we didnt wanna DEAL with what he might say if he heard both my siblings calling me dom, cuz both of them do, so whenever theyre around they would just refer to my deadname, but i saw it made them cringe, so now everyone calls me 'that one child'

that one, other one, etc etc

no one even calls me my name anymore

it makes me feel so hopeless. ive EXPRESSED it makes me upset but my younger sibling doesnt care (the one most guilty of it), because they dont understand why it upsets me, i guess thats enough reason to keep going

its so dehumanizing to be reduced to actually nothing. i ALREADY have heaps and heaps and HEAPS of identity issues. sometimes it gets so bad i start having crazy ass delusions, sometimes im not even present and its a different part of my mind in my body

its hard enough as is!!! now my family wont call me anything at all

it makes me feel less bad about leaving, but i dont think ill ever leave at this rate

need to start T, change my name, get a job, all in that order. starting T seems impossible at this rate. i.. dont know what to do. i cant keep LIVING like this, because im not living at all

i never leave my house because im too ashamed in how i look, i cant BEAR the thought of anyone else perceiving me as female, i cant fucking do it!!! im so tired. my house is like a prison for me, genuinely.

and my family dont get it, obviously. they think its my choice, im some kind of hermit who doesnt care about being outside because i have internet. they are so fucking wrong. i miss going out, i miss being around people, i miss existing like everyone else, but i just cant do it man. not like this

so it becomes a waiting game, when am i gonna bring up starting it? how do i even move forward once i do? what if she says no? id have to do it on my own but i cant.. i cant even order things for myself without freezing like shutting up will get me out of there, i cant fucking do it

she doesnt even know!! we were in the car together and she was like yknow theres people who cant even make a doctors appointment. what losers.

IM losers, would she have said that if she knew? does she know and decided to say it anyways? i dont know, but its just.. everything seems so hopeless at this point. i want to just give up, accept im not gonna be who i truly am, but man i cant stand being any more miserable

it makes me wanna cry, the only time i get to feel myself how i think i should be is either if i draw something fictitious, or if i spend hours in the mirror making sure i look masculine, my mustache is convincing, etc. AND FOR WHAT? literally for fucking WHAT, because i dont leave the house anyways!!!!! dolled up like i have somewhere to be, like my appearance will get me what i want, when im stuck at home! i got nothing to prove to them, they think what they think

its fucking dreadful. im so scared of my life passing me by, and here i am wasting away in my bedroom for the last 3 years. no progress, nothing. at first, i was scared about even starting T because theres a higher risk of heart disease, but. i dont fucking care if it KILLS me. i dont care!!! if it kills me i dont fucking care im not living the life i want to live anyways. the risk of death is worth it at this point, i mean that so seriously

idk. im just tired, is all. i wish everyone could perceive me the way i dream they would. only time that happens is online, or when im not with my family at all and instead with my friends. but we only hang out like. once in a blue moon

and yknow what? im not even safe then. i remember we were at my friends house for halloween last year (we always meet up). i had my full leatherface costume one, my face was touched up to make it look like the mask. and still. dressed that way, when my friends mom asked me what my name was, i said dom and she was immediately like. "oh, dominique?" no. my name is fucking DOMINIC.

i didnt say anything besides correcting her, but it was such a blow, man. the only time ill be happy is if im closely monitoring every single thing i do, to make sure i dont appear feminine at all. no matter how i look, now matter how deep my voice is. miserable. why would anyone think that id choose this

[yveltalreal]

for both: how do you feel about family

Yveltal: It's all I know, isn't it? Ever since the beginning, it was Xerneas, Me, and Zygarde. Of course, there was a beginning before that. There were other legends before that, but I Palkia, Dialga, and Giratina... they aren't siblings. They existed long before us. Same with Arceus. Especially true for Arceus. I need to have family because if I don't have one, if someone cannot look at me and go "That's Yveltal, they're like family to me" then what am I? What am I except the hurt? I need to be the love as well, don't I? I love them both. I love them a lot, and I love the others too. Maybe it was a mistake to love them like friends and children, rather than axes and hammers. To treat them as family rather than tools. Who knows. I am nothing without them. I miss them. I miss Zygarde, even if they hurt us. Maple: i think its complicated. i love my parents. they arent the best. they sucked. they were busy. but i love them. they learned. theyre trying better. they love me. its whatever. my mom especially though. i remember talking to her. she didnt want to be him. she didnt want to be her either, so she ran. she thought that if she wasnt there maybe her love wouldnt be so strong that it hurt. thats what she told me. word for word. i get it. i love a lot too. it took her a lot longer. it took her so much longer to not be afraid. she was always afraid that if she looked at me too hard that id snap. that her hands werent made for holding a child. she didnt want me. she didnt treat me like she wanted me. i mean she wasnt cruel but she just wasnt there. it took almost losing her to realize everything. for her to be there. i love her. i love her a lot. i love them all. but i dont know. sometimes at night, i wonder if they really do care, or if its the bare minimum. i wonder how long that would have gone on, a child alone in a house filled with pokemon until the end of time if grandma didnt find us.

and my brother. i love my new brother. im glad hes never going to experiance what i did. but hes so small and scared. just like my mother. but unlike her i am built for hurting. a whole body staying alive because of the stolen life of others. hes so small. hes so fragile. when i look at him i know what my mom felt and i know she felt it worse. its fine. im not his parent. im his sibling and by arc am i going to be a good one.

and outside of them. outside of blood. where does it begin and end. aspen and jaime? im married to them. we're legally family. and i love them like that. and tori shes my sister and law now but she was kinda like family too. and estelle. family friends is just family to my family, sometimes, and shes a family friend. my grandma wants her to call her grandma as well. shes like a cousin. even if i cant remember when we knew eachother when we were little well i remember knowing her now. at least a little. tami is like my mom, even if shes an absol. same with most of my moms pokemon actually. one of the few things i can remember as a kid is them all gathering around as solar taught them how a first aid kit worked. it was so interesting watching a beeheeyem try to explain things to the others even if i couldnt understand that the bad scrape i had stopped hurting. and pickle. shes been here forever. well not forever. but shes been with me for like over 10 years. what is she? a sister? idk. shes my partner. shes my starter. and heph is also kinda like family even if ive had her for less than a year and theres dash and theres bibi and glacier and little and. storm. im rambling. i love them. theyre family too. i love them a lot.

anyways family is a choice, but sometimes youre obligated to make a certain choice, i think.

[relaxxattack]

prefacing for maxs followers who dont know who i am but stating this as like. autistic queer person. who also has a lot of other things going on in the brain. i think a lot of autistic n adhd n queer ppl (ESP white auti adhd queer ppl) need to remember that likeee. not everything we relate to . is necessarily an us exclusive experience. and sometimes the thing being judged as 'bad autism rep' or whatever wasnt really.. a character being autistic . not every character whose an outcast or blunt or has problems in social scenarios or behavioral problems is queer or autistic or has adhd and judging a character off of whether theyre good rep for those groups often comes off as. ignorant of experiences outside of autism and queerness n adhd. not to say you cant relate to characters meant to rep a different experience, just that you need to acknowledge that experience and treat it as just as needing of rep as you.

n like it shows up in like. perception of mituna. or isabela from encanto. and ive heard abt white autistic ppl seeing a black character avoiding eye contact w white people as an autism thing. and its like. fuck man not every outcast is autistic or queer or has adhd. brain damage from head trauma is a very real thing and maybe mituna Could be autistic but he isnt bad autism rep just because you (general you) dont want to think about how neurodivergent includes people with head trauma or other disabilities that may cause increased vulgarity and mood swings. isabela Could be a lesbian but that doesnt mean ppl shouldnt also consider how her story isnt like. a lesbian story just because she doesnt like the man shes supposed to get married to its abt how young women get married off n how common it can be in family oriented cultures. avoiding eye contact isnt inherently an autism thing esp when youre a poc and any little thing could be taken as a sign of aggression esp if youre black

n like i get it. when youre queer/autistic/adhd its hard not to try and grab for every little piece of representation you can get. god knows i always take a chance to hc a character i like as a lesbian. ive always been prone to making white characters black. even if a character is clearly nt i will project onto them anyways. but i think the sorts of ppl who will complain abt mituna being bad autism rep often miss the fact that like.

if your projection and desperate need to see and find people like you. gets in the way of showing proper respect to people who Arent like you but face similar issues. then you might need to take a step back and think 'fuck am i overstepping? am i ignoring others need for representation in media in my own pursuit of rep?' . yknow? i think a lot of ppl would have an easier time respecting and learning about other cultures and experiences if they just like. sat down for a bit and thought about the world outside of their own bubble. bc sometimes there gets to a point where it feels like the overall communities i mentioned care more about being listened to than they care about having an actual conversation. and all media really is a conversation. if that makes sense . ok im done now i just have a lot of thoughts abt this.hi max -🎭🎪

yeah this is all pretty interesting and fair actually and tbh id never heard of some of that stuff since im not in that fandom but its an interesting look at this concept

[arolesbianism]

Horrible realization that if I go through with recollecting all the oni logs then I'll have to actually find out how to get "a seed is planted" like for realsies this time. Maybe I should just cheat them all in actually. <3.

[sunhowler]

hey man. also facing thousands of dollars worth of dental work due to poor care here. i literally lost one of my incisors. if you think posts reassuring people its ok they have trouble taking care of their teeth are "anti recovery" youre straight up stupid like i dont know what to tell you. nothing in the world helped me get better at taking care of my teeth than learning i wasnt alone. i thought for a long time that nobody in the fucking world was as bad at dental hygiene as i was because nobody talked about it!!!! nobody felt like saying anything other than "brush your teeth"!!! in my early teens i completely broke my tooth brushing habits because i fell into the worst depression id ever been in and i thought i wouldnt live long enough for my teeth to matter. i spent so long not taking care of my teeth At All. i went months without brushing them at a time. and never in my life until like a year ago had anyone ever told me that i wasnt alone. i lived in so much shame thinking i was repulsive (id have people ask me to my face what was wrong with my teeth before) and beyond repair so why even Try. but learning that there were other people who struggled just as badly as me motivated me to get better like nothing else. i didnt know i didnt have to be ashamed. i didnt know that my existence wasnt unilaterally disgusting to every other human being on the planet. i didnt know i was allowed to talk about it, much less that i was allowed to talk about it without adding a billion qualifiers about how you should brush your teeth actually.

i just. like. the problem isnt that we dont know we're supposed to brush our teeth. the problem isn't that we think it doesn't matter (like trust me op i think everyone else whos dealing with dental hygiene difficulties is also facing the consequences). the problem is that dental hygiene is so cloaked in shame and guilt and it feels impossible to talk about without judgement. this honestly reads like calling posts about self harm "anti recovery" because they didnt attach a psa about how its bad to cut yourself actually and you shouldnt do it. We Know That. and if all we get in response to our suffering is "here are the things you should do to not suffer" with no reassurance or emotional outreach then very fucking little is going to change. nobody with difficulty brushing their teeth is going to be helped by a tumblr post saying "brush your teeth". they already hear that from everyone else constantly and its obviously not fucking working. if posts offering emotional support and solidarity didnt help you then im sorry and that sucks but it doesnt mean those posts are anti recovery as a whole and its fucking insulting that you believe that to be honest

[samlike-but-cooler]

i bought my first suit today

i bought it from goodwill. at 20 years old- 2 years a man, i had never needed one before. figured i didnt need anything special.

i never usually wore suits, usually to work i wore a plain polo and jeans. when i rarely did go out outside of work, it was some mix of punky grungey aesthetics.

but i needed a suit.

it was some family members funeral tomorrow. it didnt really matter to me. he was loved but old, it was his time to go. theyll bury him in his work clothes. but i need a suit

we went to goodwill. it was hard to find my size. my dad tried to help but he didnt know how to account for my hips or my chest.

he was more interested in getting my little brothers suit anyways,

but it really didnt matter to me.

i found a suit. a brown jacket and pants that didnt quite match, an old shirt with stripes, and a plain green tie. i didnt know how to tie a tie.

when i got home i was hesitant to try it on. i changed to my sweats and t shirt and forgot about it. my brother was just so excited to try his on, i figured id try mine aswell.

i tied my tie onto my shirt beforehand, hoping it would make it easier later on. i learned to tie my own tie. it took me four tries and three different tutorials because i wasnt quite getting it right. my brother got it on his first try because my dad showed him.

it really didnt matter to me.

as for the actual suit, it was hard to put on. the pants were too tight and the jacket was too big on the arms but too small on the torso. the shoulders fit right, though. that was nice.

i went to show my mom, she didn't really care. she was more focused on helping my brother fit into his.

i didnt let it matter to me.

my dad saw my suit. "hope youre trying to breathe in that, unbutton it." i thought suits were supposed to be buttoned. i unbuttoned it anyways, it looked better. it definitely felt better. he didnt say anything. i slipped away, trying to take it off. i was done with it for tonight.

my dad called me back. i went back to the livingroom. he was holding one of his suit jackets. "try this one on." it was gray and a bad texture but i tried it anyway. it was far too big. sure- i could have buttoned it, but you could barely see my fingers through my sleeves. my dad laughed and said something about it being big, but i didnt hear it.

i didnt really care about the joke.

but the fact that he tried to lend me his jacket

that really mattered to me.