#but i just find it so funny how nikolai is having the worst time of his life while soukoku vibes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yurislotusgarden · 1 year ago

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Hi there! Can I please request (separate) Fyodor, Nikolai, and Sigma with a reader who has a teleportation ability and loves to use it to tickle/tease them? There's no way you're sneaking up on Fyodor or Nikolai unless you have a teleportation ability, let's be honest XD. The kicker is that reader can just teleport away before the characters can get revenge and that makes for some very funny scenarios. Feel free to decline, I know my request is a tad strange XD

ʚїɞ Separately! Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Sigma x Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ I literally struggled on 2 out of 6 scenarios sm for some reason help, and dw this was fun to write anon!

ʚїɞ word count: 2 136

ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just pure fluff, pet names used, reader’s gender is not specified in any way

ཐིཋྀ Anon you’re so right, you can’t sneak up on this man unless you have a teleportation ability. Like even invisibility or similar wouldn’t probably work, but teleportation? Hell yeah.

ཐིཋྀ I think there would be a little bet on your side, how many times can you actually surprise him? You succeed far more than you first thought.

////////////////////

Computer light falling onto a silhouette could be seen upon looking into the room, Fyodor Dostoevsky was sitting in front of the many screens, planning his ever-so-successful plan to get rid of ability users. Not moving much for some time, one could mistake him for a statue instead, that's until he slightly jumped from feeling fingers moving along his sides.

Quiet giggling was all he heard when turning around, trying to catch the figure behind him, but unsuccessful upon the person disappearing before the dark-haired man could even touch them.

Fyodor’s ever so lovely s/o, you, have always loved doing little tricks to see just how much can you be unpredictable, even to this man ever since you noticed he doesn’t mind them… that much, at least.

////////////////

ཐིཋྀ This man, let me tell you, this man, is not safe ANYWHERE.

ཐིཋྀ Office? “Oh? You’re ticklish Fedya? Nice to know”

ཐིཋྀ Hallways? Something as little as even a touch on the shoulder and getting out of there before he even manages to turn around.

ཐིཋྀ The house? U n l i m i t e d p o s s i b i l i t i e s.

ཐིཋྀ No matter what he does, our dear Fedya is never safe from little pranks and tricks for your entertainment, shits and giggles.

///////////////////////

Listen, Fyodor really doesn’t mind you having fun with your ability here and there, but is it really too much to ask to organize things in peace? In your book, it seems it is.

Fyodor has some things written down on paper, and only one copy, as he believes it’s better to not keep some things on his computer. As much as it is un-hackable, his words he wants to be safe just in case. Better be safe than sorry, but it would be so much faster and easier to organize if papers didn’t change their place the moment his eyes were even slightly averted from them, if folders didn’t change their places, or more, if you didn’t mess with his stuff.

The rat placed the paper on the table and turned away to get a folder? A little quiet sound could be heard behind him. Turning around, the paper is gone as if it wasn’t there in the first place and is on the other side of the room. He turns back around to get the folder, but now that is gone too and is under a table.

Whether it’s papers that are moved around. From changing tables to even being moved to different folders, to folders that were perfectly organized in alphabetical order being all messed up. Every time he turns away, you would teleport in, take a folder out of the shelf, and teleport away. After a moment you would teleport back into a random ass place and place it there. The worst is that you do it not only when he organizes stuff, but also randomly on days he doesn't.

Really, the organizing would be so much faster if he had peace… sad that he doesn’t.

////////////////////

“You gotta stop doing all that Myshka.”

“Stop what?”

“All those little jokes of yours. It’s irritating.”

“It’s irritating but you still smile at them?”

“...”

“What? You think I don’t know that you smile after I’m out of the room?”

“...”

“Why are you not saying anything? It’s scary-”

“About that thing you mentioned you wanted to try in be-”

“ALRIGHT! How about I make your favorite tonight? I didn’t make it for so long!”

“We had it last week, dorogaya*”

“Yeah… so long”

—--------------

You didn’t stop your antics at all in the end, and no matter how much Fyodor complains, he hopes you will never stop <3

ཐིཋྀ Yall have a literal competition

ཐིཋྀ Who's gonna surprise who more? Good question-

ཐིཋྀ You can be in the city buying things for yourself, feel a tug on your hair, and turning around you just see a glimpse of Nikolai’s portal.

ཐིཋྀ In turn, he may be doing his braid in the morning and feel a tug on the back of HIS hair, and only then noticing your already disappearing figure in the mirror behind him, not giving him a chance to even turn around😭

//////////////////////////

Morning sun rays fell upon the figure sitting in front of the mirror in the room. Nikolai was sitting quietly, still half asleep as it was around 7 am and he woke up not too long ago. The white-haired man was making his braid with closed eyes, the hand manner practically natural by now, in the quiet room.

That was before he felt a slight tug on the back of his head, He opened his eyes in a fast movement, managing to catch only one thing in the mirror reflection behind him, the gentle light that comes with his s/o, you, using their ability.

A quiet sigh from the man could be heard in the room, a gentle smile on his face that he couldn’t stop from appearing.

“You just couldn’t stop yourself from doing that, huh, Dove?” Nikolai spoke knowing you were still in the room, as well as he noticed that he had to redo most of the braid he had done till now.

“It’s revenge for what you did last week, Kolya”

“I don’t know what you are talking about”

“Hmm… I also don’t know what I’m talking about when I say I won’t be baking the cookies you wanted”

“Wait!-”

That certainly woke him up.

///////////////////////////

ཐིཋྀ Others are so done with yall I swear

ཐིཋྀ There’s no shame, you guys do it to each other in public all the time, not only in private. You once decided it was a good idea to scare him on a meeting with Sigma… it ended with you scaring them both

ཐིཋྀ You apologized, only to Sigma though

ཐིཋྀ He, in turn, scared you while you were out with a friend people stared at you two like you had 2 heads after screaming in the middle of the sidewalk for seemingly no reason

ཐིཋྀ He did not apologize to either of you

ཐིཋྀ So yeah, you both are not safe from the other absolutely anywhere or with anyone even in the bathroom

//////////////////////////////////////

You and Nikolai were visiting Sigma at the Sky Casino, although you disappeared around half an hour after the two of you got there. To where? A good question that the white head doesn't have an answer to.

"I'm telling you no is my answer."

"But are you sure it's your final answer?"

"Yes.. or wait-"

Good ol' doubt in an answer for Nikolai's quiz. He just needs to wait till Sigma says the wrong answer and he will be able to-

THUD

Whirling around or looking ahead, depending on the male, both noticed a book on the ground, a piece of literature the bi-colored-haired Man could swear he didn't have in his office.

Sigma stood up and slowly walked over to the book on the ground, he bent down to pick it up. Just as he straightened up, a sound of something hitting the floor sounded throughout the office. Looking back at the desk behind the males, a folder the younger of the two was working on beforehand, was lying on the floor.

“Is all the stuff in my office gonna be falling down or appearing out of thin air now?”

Just as Sigma spoke, the sound of something heavier, like the book from earlier, flew across the office, and then a sigh was heard right after.

“I think so, dear friend!”

Nikolai was acting cocky for the next few minutes as things would fall or appear out of nowhere, thinking that you are playing with only Sigma for fun. He realized it was you when the folder fell off the desk, but what he didn’t realize, was that he wasn’t safe at all.

He should’ve remembered that you absolutely love to play around with him by doing something to his hair, so he should’ve expected the tug on his hair from the back or the feeling of his hat gone from his head that came next.

And he couldn’t do anything even if he whirled around immediately, as your figure disappeared in gentle light just as he did so.

“Goddammit.”

“Told you to look around.”

“But Sigma!!! I thought-”

—--------------

If he could change one thing about your guys' games, it would be that damn hair part. Never understood why you love it so much, but at the same time, he didn’t protest against it on a serious note before.

ཐིཋྀ The poor guy-

ཐིཋྀ He’s just trying to work but you mess up his paperwork😭

ཐིཋྀ Like, he goes out of the office for a little to take a look around the casino but then comes back to the chaos that is his desk after

///////////////

The bi-hair-colored man entered his office quietly. It was quite dark, as the sun already started to set some time ago. He wondered what you, his lovely s/o, were doing at the moment as you insisted on staying in the main room earlier during your small talk with Sigma after spotting him walking around.

Upon laying his eyes on his desk once he got close enough, Sigma noticed that some things were moved around. The paper that he was writing on before got moved up by 8 centimeters, exactly 2 papers from the right got moved to the far left of the desk, in exchange, 3 papers from the left got moved to the place the 2 papers from the right were in before, he also had 3 files on his desk before, but now there was 5, and none of them being the 2 that were there before.

The reason behind that wasn’t hard to guess.

“You still here, dear?”

But it also wasn’t hard to guess that you stayed close by.

“Of course!” The response came with you appearing behind him, and together with a light tickling feeling on his neck.

…He had to start his work all over again.

…At least you brought cookies though.

//////////////

ཐིཋྀ You don’t surprise him TOO much, due to you wanting to let him work, however, that doesn't mean that you scaring him isn't a regular occurrence.

ཐིཋྀ Just got done talking with someone and had plans to go back to the office? You’re standing right behind him, causing him to jump.

ཐིཋྀ That one file he thought he lost? You coincidentally know where it is completely not where it’s supposed to be

ཐིཋྀ He woke up in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom? What the fuck is that shadow in the corner on the way back? it’s you who woke up

ཐིཋྀ You scare the workers of the casino as well by accident most of the time😭

/////////////

He was just trying to comb his hair, but no, of course, his comb was not where it was meant to be, and of course, the spare one was missing as well.

His stuff had been going missing before being found in the most random places possible. Sigma didn’t want to assume his beloved was at fault, but at the same time, this was happening way too much lately.

His heels? Moved from the hallway to the kitchen.

The glass of water he left on the counter? Found in his office, once he got there.

Once, all of his hairbands went missing, and he found every single one of them placed around in books, folders, cabinets, and even under papers he left on his desk.

The bi-colored-haired man decided to speak up with a slightly louder tone, in case you were somewhere in a farther corner of the apartment.

“[Name]?”

“Yes, cotton?”

He decided to ignore that he jumped a little at your surprise entrance behind him. Should’ve expected you wouldn’t use the door.

“Do you know where my comb is?”

A hum came from you. “No. Why do you ask?”

“Can’t find it. Thought you would know.”

“Going into assuming right away, aren’t we?”

It’s not that the man doesn’t trust you, but you’ve done little tricks like this so many times that no one could blame him if they tried. The teasing tone in your voice didn't help the situation.

“Can you blame me?”

“...No.”

“...You have it, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

/////////////////

Sigma doesn’t mind, it’s a part of your personality, but he would really appreciate if you stopped moving his stuff around. That would certainly help.

Notes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated

* 'Dorogaya' means love/sweetheart in Russian if the translator I used didn't fail me ;-;

#bsd x reader #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x y/n #bsd x you #x reader #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bsd fyodor #fyodor x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai gogol #bsd nikolai #bsd sigma #sigma bungou stray dogs #sigma x reader #bsd fluff #fluff

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stinkrascal · 2 years ago

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For Gen: ❣️, 🌙, 👪, 🐒.

For Anastasia: 💀, 🧑‍🍼, 🍳, 💓.

FINALLY i have an excuse to talk about gen, my actual favorite straud, that evil bastard.

gen:

❣️ - What are their love languages? oh god i know i answered this somewhere years ago let me check. okay i found it, it's gift giving + words of affirmation!

🌙 - What’s their sleep schedule like? worst sleep schedule, only second to vladislaus, who literally only sleeps about once a month. basically all my vampires belong to at least one out of three magical classes, those classes being exhaustion, charmers, and strength. each class comes with its own pros and cons, but for exhaustion classes specifically, one of their abilities is that they have dampened needs, so they don't need to sleep as often as other vampires do. gen belongs to the exhaustion + charmer class, which means they don't need as much sleep. so gen is usually up all day and night, and only sleeps about once a week. klaus, vladislaus, and nikolai belong to the same magical class and also experience this side effect to varying degrees! very complicated answer i know i know lol.

👪 - What’s their relationship with their parents like? confusing, i suppose? gen recognizes that their homelife isn't nearly as tumultuous as some of their friends, but there's still this lingering awkwardness that surrounds his homelife. gen is very secretive and finds it difficult to talk about themselves, which makes it difficult to connect to others, including their parents. he's especially strained with breanna, as they're just very different people, with breanna being carefree and expressive, and with gen being more reserved and private. his relationship is better with vladislaus, who's a little more like he is, but it's still not the best, especially not after vladislaus learned gen was belittling his own mother to her face for what was nothing more than a misunderstanding. so, yeah, it's not great, but it's not unsalvageable either. gen's just gotta learn how to come outta their shell and stop feeling so damn awkward about connecting with other people!

🐒 - What’s their favorite animal? he likes worms. that counts, right? he just thinks they're cool, slimy boys. little wriggly fellows!

anastasia:

💀 - How do they feel about horror movies? LOVES horror movies, but only if vaughn is with her. she won't watch them alone. she doesn't like watching anything alone, though. that's what vaughn's there for, though. he is her movie buddy!

🧑‍🍼 - How do they feel about kids? she loves kids! but she doesn't want any of her own for a while, and she won't have more than three. as one of seven, she knows the struggle of having a big family - all that time spent waiting to use the bathroom lol. she's really good with kids though!! they always seem to like her :')

🍳 - How well can they cook? eh they're okay, but living life as a vampire coming from generational wealth has spoiled her, so she's more prone to ordering delivery than she is to cooking her own meal. doesn't help that she has a father who'd rather cook for his entire family than allow any one of his children to fend for themselves, even for one night, so she's never had to learn more than the basics of cooking. she's good at baking though! baking is easier to her, because the recipes always come with specific instructions, which she loves haha.

💓 - What are some signs they’ve fallen for someone? How do they show their affection? when it comes to love, anastasia is so obvious it's almost sad. if she loves someone, she always wants to be around them. she'll hug them, touch their shoulder, look longingly into their eyes, giggle at everything they say, even if it's not funny. she'll help them with their homework, she'll write their essays for them, she'll give them answers to tests, she'll do everything in her power to make life easier for them. she's grown up, watching her father spoil her mother, so when she loves someone, she wants to do the same for them - spoil them rotten.

thank you so much for the question!! these two are my favorite strauds to talk about, so i appreciate it a lot <3

#jade answers #morrigan sims #i love annie and gen so much because they are complete opposites #the outgoing overachieving bossy feminist icon anastasia vs the shut-in new age misogynistic volcel gen

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morganayenneferburnham · 3 years ago

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Have I Known You 20 Seconds or 20 Years? – Nikolai Lantsov Series

Chapter 1: Devils Roll the Dice, Angel Roll their Eyes

Chapter 2: You Did a Number on Me

Chapter 3: You Could Call Me Babe for the Weekend

Chapter 4: The Best of Times, The Worst of Crimes

Chapter 5: All I Know Since Yesterday Is Everything Has Changed

A very short summary: Y/N has been working with the crows for a few years. Her life feels complete until she meets the insufferable Nikolai Lantsov. She finds herself forced to work with the King of Ravka on one of Kaz Brekker’s crazy schemes.

Word count: 2k

A/N: Hey there! So this took me a bit longer than expected but here it is! I should probably mention that it's an angsty one. Sorry. I hope you guys enjoy it. I'd love to get some feedback :)

Chapter 5: All I Know Since Yesterday Is Everything Has Changed

She woke that morning wishing she didn’t have to leave her room for the rest of the month. That was going to be difficult, however. Kaz would come to drag her out himself if he had to. She knew he would. It was probably best to avoid angering him any further. He had made his anger quite clear the night before.

---

Kaz had sent everyone away for the night after having heard their reports and studying the plans for a few more minutes. His gloved fingers had wrapped themselves tightly around her wrist when she’d tried to slip past him.

“Can you get the job done? Or do I have to worry I’ll lose my corporalnik to a king?” His voice had been heavy with disdain.

“Of course, I can do the job, Kaz! How long have I been working for you?” she’d felt panic rise in her, making her nauseous.

“I’ve known Jesper even longer. Doesn’t mean he hasn’t disappointed me.” He snickered. “You haven’t answered my question, Y/N.” The way he’d said her name had sent a shiver down her spine. It had been a barely hidden warning.

“Kaz…” her voice had broken. Would he send me back to Tante Ingrid? She simply couldn’t tell.

“Start tailoring Nikolai and yourself back. I’ll see you in the morning. Do not be late.”

She’d spent the next 3 hours tailoring the king, who threatened to ruin her life by occupying her every thought, and then herself. Nikolai had at least had the decency to stay quiet this time around. She had been far from done when they’d called it a night, but she’d judged it would be enough to keep Kaz off her back.

---

Y/N got ready quickly, keeping Kaz’s warning in mind. She shrugged off her nightgown. She’d slept terribly. She pulled her white shirt over her head, tucking it in the pants she’d chosen for the day. Her mind kept travelling back to Nikolai’s kiss and Kaz’s terrifying fury. She loosely tied the strings at her shirt’s collar, letting the delicate bow rest on her chest. Her brain seemed to be stuck playing both moments repeatedly. It was ridiculous. Nikolai had only kissed her to keep up the act. There was no reason to jeopardize her place with the crows over something so meaningless. So why couldn’t her mind stop bringing it up?

When she finally reached the music room that currently served as their boss’ office, Inej sent her a look of pity from her perch on Kaz’s armchair. Great, she thought, Kaz is still mad.

Jesper and Wylan were lounging, limbs tangled, on a small couch. She nodded to them, returning their greetings, making her way to the opened glass-paneled doors leading to the garden. She watched Marya Hendriks paint while they waited for Nikolai and Zoya to join them. The older woman was working on a beautiful landscape of the Geldcanal. Y/N focused whole-heartedly on the paintbrush strokes letting them erase the memories of the previous night from her mind as they went. She knew it wasn’t permanent, the problem would still exist once Marya stopped painting, but it brought her comfort for the time being.

“Thank you for gracing us with your presence, your royal highness” Kaz’s raspy voice brought her back to the present. His rage and disdain were barely leashed. She turned in time to catch the surprised look on Nikolai’s face. She might have thought it was funny if she wasn’t so scared of what Kaz could do.

“Good morning, are my general and I late?” Nikolai schooled his feature into a charming grin. “Though, you know, I was under the impression that Kings couldn’t be late, everyone else is simply early.”

Just when Y/N thought it was impossible, Kaz’s eyes darkened further. Nikolai had managed to make him angrier somehow. Kaz sneered, “You are late.” They were in for a horrible day.

The air felt colder than it had a few minutes prior to the Ravkans’ arrival. Kaz continued, “The first part of the job was a success. However, that was the easy part.” He sent a pointed look her way. “The next part will require everyone to follow the plan to the letter.”

She flinched. Kaz isn’t mad. He is livid. She moved away from the open doors opting to take place on the arm of the couch where Wylan and Jesper were still lounging. Jesper reached for her, letting his hand rest on her thigh, giving it a small squeeze as if he felt her distress. She was thankful for that small gesture. It would help her endure Kaz’s wrath.

“I still need time to figure everything out. These blueprints do give us the layout of the factory and the warehouse, but we still don’t have the guards’ rounds schedule. We’ll also need to find out the shipment schedule.”

Inej interrupted him “I’ll take care of that. Just keep planning, I do quite enjoy your scheming face.” Y/N always loved getting a glimpse of their relationship. It was always subtle, but they clearly did love each other. It was endearing how much they did.

Kaz’s features seemed to soften a bit at that. “Of course, my darling. Perhaps General Nazyalensky can be of some assistance.”

Zoya nodded. “Sure, we’ll get you the information. Just make sure we have a way out with the plans and the prototypes we need.”

Kaz nodded and turned back to Y/N his gaze cold and hard. “You’re not done with your tailoring.” It wasn’t a question, it was a critic. She felt a chill travel down her back. “You have to finish this morning before either of you can leave the house.” He considered her for a moment. “Use your room. We can’t risk a servant seeing you like this.”

-----

They’d left the room a few minutes later. Y/N leading the way to her room at the Hendriks mansion. She had been quiet, practically ignoring him the whole way. Only turning to him once to check if he was following her. Her brows were furrowed. Nikolai wasn’t sure if she was mad at him or scared. Scared of what? Me? Or Brekker?

Nikolai now watched her from his seat at the end of the bed as she readied her tailoring kit. She had tailored her body back the night before, but she still had ways to go before she was sporting her beautiful features again. She had her back turned to him, her olive pants hugging the soft curves of her hips just right. Nikolai’s mind kept travelling back to the night before and the outfit the Grisha had chosen for the day wasn’t helping him at all. He wanted to rest his hands on her hips and pull her body to his. He wanted to feel her comforting curves pressed against him, closer than they had been the night before, the fabric of her skirt no longer in the way.

He watched her finally settle in front of the mirrored desk, raising her hands to her face. He was glad she was starting with herself. It would give him time to gain full control of his brain again. He observed the careful movements of her fingers for what felt like hours. He was grateful for the time she’d bought him, until he saw her face as she made her way to him. He couldn’t help but glance at her full lips. He wondered just how different it would feel to kiss her now. Saints, I forgot just how naturally gorgeous she was. The urge to pull her closer was threatening to overwhelm him.

“So, I guess I’m only undoing my own tailoring? Not Genya Safin’s? You still need to look like Sturmhond.” She sounded guarded.

“Yeah. I don’t think you could handle how handsome I really look.” He saw her jaw tick. Saints, what a stupid thing to say. And why did I wink at her again? She’s obviously uncomfortable.

He watched her carefully as she came to a stop, standing between his thighs. Nikolai could feel his heart hammering in his chest. She was standing so close he worried she could hear it. If she did, she made no mention of it. “This is gonna hurt. Tell me if you need a break.” She sounded determined; all traces of her previous insecurity gone. He only nodded, not trusting his voice with her standing so close to him, her floral scent drifting his way due to the soft breeze coming from the open window.

Her fingers were surprisingly cold against his skin. He felt the familiar itch of tailoring as she started before the pain of bone remodeling fully settled in. He tried to stay as still as possible, focusing on the concentration etched in the girl’s features instead of the pain. He felt her set his jaw back, making sure Sturmhond’s characteristically pointed chin was just right. She had made a few adjustments the night before, but she hadn’t done any major alterations. He kept watching her as she set the rest of his face back. Her shirt had slipped dangerously lower on her chest as she worked. The small bow coming lose. It was driving Nikolai completely crazy. He wanted to reach out and finish untying the damned strings. He didn’t think he could take much more of this absolute torture. She was almost done with reworking the bone when he saw her bite her bottom lip, completely lost in her work. He was about to finally lose the last sliver of decency he had been holding on to for the last hour when she straightened up suddenly. She backed away to take in her work.

“I think that should be it for facial structure. I’ll work on your eyes next, and I’ll finish with your hair.” She seemed more at ease now. Whatever had been bothering her almost forgotten.

She took her place back between his legs reaching up to his face once more. Her fingers came to rest on his cheek.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you. It was a mistake.” Nikolai blurted out. He could’ve sworn he saw hurt flash in Y/N’s beautiful green eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. He must have imagined it. He saw her straighten her spine, her shoulders tensing up.

“Whatever, we got out. We got the job done. It doesn’t matter.” Any scrap of ease she’d gained was gone as she turned her back to him, taking a few steps towards the mirrored desk. Why did you have to open your mouth? Nikolai Nothing. Nikolai the Bastard. Pretender. Nikolai the fool. He had clearly upset her.

“Listen, I didn’t mean to upset you. Brekker told me you worked at one of the pleasure houses before… I just – I didn’t mean to cross a line.”

She whirled back towards him. Fury burning in her deep green eyes. “He had no right.” she hissed. Her rage melted quickly however, leaving her looking panicked. Nikolai saw her hands start to shake before she clenched her fists.

Another blunder. “He only told me because I asked about your tattoo.” Her hand flew to the bare skin of her arm hiding the iris burned into her skin from him. I am only making it worse, he realized. I should really learn to stop talking so much.

She lowered her head. “He’s going to send me back.” Her voice was trembling. She sounded absolutely terrified at the idea. Nikolai wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her. Why would she think that? Surely Brekker wouldn’t do that. She’s a corporalnik. If Brekker is actually stupid enough to part with such a gifted Grisha, she could have a place with the Second Army. She could have a place in Ravka… She could have a place with me.

“You could–” Nikolai didn’t get to finish his sentence. Inej had opened the door and walked in carrying a tray with tea and biscuits.

“Figured, you two were probably hungry!” Her warm smile faltered when she saw Y/N’s expression. “Everything alright?”

“Thank you Inej. You are absolutely right!” She laughed; all traces of her panic gone. “I’m starving. I could eat a stack of waffles as tall as you!” A talented corporalnik and actress, Nikolai thought.

-----

tagged: @power-of-words23

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov fanfic #nikolai lantsov fic #kaz brekker #the crows #six of crows #inej ghafa #leigh bardugo #grishaverse #nikolai series #my fic #ari's fic #have i known you 20 seconds or 20 years #chapter 5 #fic update #all i know since yesterday is everything has changed

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alinastracker · 3 years ago

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for the prompt thing: 62 or 69 <3

you got it bb <3

prompt: I wanted to tell you that I liked you before prom but chickened out and now we’re about to graduate college and I can’t hold it in any longer

i can’t fight this feeling any longer (and yet i’m still afraid to let it flow)

"Mal, I love you."

Alina frowns, shakes her head, and tries again.

"Mal, you've been my best friend for so long, and I love our friendship, but you see, I'm also head over heels in love with you."

She blows out a frustrated breath, her newly chopped bangs briefly floating off of her forehead. Telling her best friend of nearly six years she’s in love with him should not be the number one thing on her mind right now. It’s graduation day, for Saints sake. A day she hadn’t been sure she would ever see. But all she can think about is Mal.

She had met him on one of the worst days of her life. Alina had been transferred to a new foster home in the middle of her junior year of high school. There were few things worse in adolescent life than moving to a new school in the middle of the year — especially in high school, in a small town where everyone seemed to know each other.

Alina had walked the halls that day clutching onto the straps of her backpack, late to nearly every class because her sense of direction was shit, and had even gone as far as to eat lunch in the bathroom like a stereotypical teen movie, the thought of walking into the cafeteria with all those eyes on her nearly ruining her appetite entirely. She had been stared at enough as it was.

Her last class of the day was art, and she was praying for it to be the reprieve she so desperately needed. If only she could fucking find it. The warning bell rang, heightening her already raised anxiety. Alina took a corner too fast and slammed right into a wall. No, not a wall — a boy.

“I’m so sorry!” she blurted, scrambling to her knees to help pick up the papers she made him drop.

“All good,” the boy reassured her.

Once the two of them had the papers off the floor, Alina looked up and nearly dropped them again. She was looking into the warm brown eyes of possibly the hottest guy she had ever laid eyes on. He had a strong, defined jaw, grown out hair that wasn’t too shaggy, but still long enough to run her fingers through. And Saints, his lips. She was already imagining what those lips would feel like, subconsciously licking her own.

One side of the boy’s mouth quirked up, just a hint of a smirk, like he was used to having this effect on people. Shit, had he noticed her staring? Say something, Alina.

“Um, sorry,” she managed finally, handing him the pile of collected papers.

He chuckled. “You said that already.”

She tried a laugh of her own, but it came out all wrong, choppy and nervous. “Right.”

The boy stood to his full height, and for fucks sake, he had to be tall, too? She rose from her knees and he still towered over her. It was extremely attractive.

“So you’re the new girl,” he said, not a question but a statement. “I’ve heard murmurings about you today.”

“Murmurings?”

“Nothing bad. It’s just a small town. When someone new shows up, people notice.” He smiled, stuck out his hand. It took everything in her not to think about how long his fingers were. “I’m Mal.”

She took his hand, her own so tiny in comparison. “Alina.”

“Nice to meet you, Alina. Where are you headed?”

“220B? History of Traditional Art.”

Mal nodded. “Well, I can’t say that’s a room I’m super familiar with. I’m a shit artist. These hands are much better for other activities.” Her eyes must have widened, revealing just how filthy her mind was, because he quickly added, “Sports! I meant sports!”

A look passed between them, and then they were both laughing. It felt so good to laugh after the day she’d had.

“Anyway,” Mal continued, “I can help you find your way. I might not visit the art hall often, but I know my way around.”

Alina shot him another pointed look, and Mal groaned. “My way around the school! Saints, I’m really shooting myself in the foot as far as first impressions go, aren’t I?”

She grinned, but only said, “You’ll be late for class.” The final bell was going to ring any second.

Mal waved her off. “That’s all right. What poor representation of Stag Spirit would I be if I let the new girl walk around like a lost puppy? And besides,” he shot her a grin to match her own, “we can’t have you running around, terrorizing other kids and their poor papers now, can we?”

Alina let out something between a scoff and a laugh. “I said I was sorry!”

He turned, walking backwards toward the stairs. “Did you? Must have missed it.”

She shot daggers in his direction, but she smiled the whole way to the art room. The next day, she dared to actually step into the cafeteria for lunch. People were still staring, but after yesterday, she expected it. Part of her was hoping she would find Mal in the crowded space, but she doubted it would matter even if she did. After some social media stalking last night, Alina had discovered what she should have known from the start — Mal was popular. He would already have a flock around him, friends he had known since childhood, who were just like him — attractive, athletic, alien to a kid like Alina who preferred quiet cafes and sketchpads to football fields and pompoms. He had been nice to her yesterday, sure, but that didn’t mean—

“Alina!”

Her head popped up, scanning the sea of tables until she saw him, standing and waving her over. Sure enough, Mal was at a table filled with pretty, sociable looking people. But there was a space open next to him, and she realized with a little jump of her heart that he had saved that space for her.

It was the start of the fastest and fiercest friendship she would ever have. Mal was popular and sporty, yes, but he was also kind, funny, smart — and most surprising, had grown up in the foster care system, too. Alina made friends with his friends, a few of her own from her art class, but none of them matched what she grew with Mal. Suddenly she was a football field kind of girl, dressing from head to toe in school colors for each match, cheering for her best friend so loud she gave the cheer squad a run for their money. Over the next year and half, they were entirely attached at the hip.

And while it had truly started as a friendship, by the time senior prom came around, Alina had to face the fact: she was head over heels for the boy. Hell, she had noticed how attractive he was from that first fateful meeting. Mix that with how genuinely good she knew he was — how caring, how attentive, how it felt to have his head rest on her shoulder as he fell asleep during a movie; who could blame her for falling for him?

“You have to tell him!” her friend from art class, Yelena, had insisted.

“I know, I know.” She sighed. “I’ll do it at prom.”

They were going as a group — her, Mal, Mikhael, Dubrov, Yelena, and a few others from their meshed circle of friends, brought together by the two of them. But Mal had still matched his tie to her dress, a stunning royal blue. Mal had still bought her a corsage — a delicate thing of mostly blue irises, her favorite flower. He was not her date, yet in every way except in name, it felt like he was, and Alina basked in the feeling.

But as song after song played, Alina found herself backing out each time she tried to approach him. Yelena was shooting pointed looks at her all night, murmuring as she passed her, “You’re running out of time.”

Then a punky pop song came on, one of her and Mal’s favorites. She called him over. “Dance with me!” she exclaimed, and laughed as he all but pulled her onto the dance floor. Neither of them were good dancers, but they were enthusiastic, at least with each other. As the song neared its end, Alina sucked in a breath.

“Mal, I have to tell you something.”

He raised a brow, waiting for her to speak. The song ended, and their principal took to the stage. “All right folks, it’s time to announce your prom king and queen!”

Everyone was cheering and turning to the stage, but Mal was still looking at her, still waiting for her answer.

Alina opened her mouth, closed it, then finally said, “Thank you for the corsage. I really love it.”

Mal gave her a quizzical look, lips tugging down — and was that disappointment in his eyes? Before she could fully read him, his face smoothed, his usual charmed smile returning. “Of course, Lina.”

“And your prom king is,” the principal was saying, “Malyen Oretsev!”

The crowd roared. Mal’s smile turned sheepish, and he took to the stage to accept his crown. Ruby was named prom queen, to no one’s surprise. Alina watched them dance together in the middle of the room to a romantic song that would now forever be ruined for her. A little later that night, Mal came up to her, said, “You can get a ride home with Yelena, right?” He motioned behind him, flushing a little even as he grinned, to where Ruby was waiting. “I’m gonna head out.”

Alina swallowed the stupid lump in her throat and nodded. Mal pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and then he was gone. She would spend the night at Yelena’s, crying on her shoulder that she had missed her chance �� if she’d ever had one to begin with. Because of course Mal would choose Ruby. Beautiful, blond Ruby, much more his equal than Alina could ever be.

Graduation came, and it was happy. But in all of the pictures and celebrations was Ruby — no longer just captain of the cheer squad Ruby, but Mal’s girlfriend Ruby. She watched them partake in a summer romance that she was guiltily happy to see fizzle out once college came and split them apart. Luckily, her and Mal were off to Os Alta University together, home of the Firebirds. They forged a new friend group there: the twins, Tolya and Tamar, Nadia, David, Genya, Zoya, Nikolai. Mal didn’t really date freshman year, sticking to little flings that Alina told herself didn’t matter. In sophomore year, the tension between him and Zoya finally snapped, and the two of them had a brief . . . something together.

Of course, Alina had her own dabbles in romance — Alexei being the sweetest, Aleksander nearly making her swear off men all together. Her next two flings were with women, both because she had finally fully accepted her bisexuality and because she truly had lost trust in the male species. She even made out with Nikolai a couple times, but they had both just been using each other. They’d spent one night in a club so obnoxiously all over one another that Zoya had stormed out. Her thing with Mal had been off and on at that point, and the next morning, she texted him that they were off for good.

Two weeks later, Nikolai and Zoya were dating. Mal was single.

And still, she hadn’t made a move.

Alina stares in the mirror now, watching the tassel on her graduation cap sway back and forth. In an hour, she’ll be moving it from the right to the left and leave Os Alta University in the rear window. It hadn’t been easy getting here — nothing is easy for a foster care kid, especially one who wants to be an artist. But she’s done it. She’s graduating with top honors. Saints, she even has a job lined up. Everything she worried about growing up — making a future for herself, being swallowed by the system, figuring out who she is without the guidance of her birth parents — she has faced all of it head on. At every step, she’s run after what she’s wanted and grabbed it by the hands until it was hers.

Everything except Mal.

And try as she might, she can’t imagine a future without him in it.

He’s not seeing anyone — for now. Last night he texted her, laughing about how Ruby of all people had hit him up. She’s going to be in the city this weekend, apparently, and asked if he wanted to get a drink. It felt like prom all over again.

“Alina, come on!” Genya calls. “We’re going to be late!”

“Coming!” she calls back.

Alina follows Genya and Zoya down to the car, sits numbly in the backseat as they drive to the giant building holding their graduation ceremony.

“Look alive, Starkov,” Zoya says as they get out of the car, linking their arms. “Today is for happy things. New beginnings.”

Genya takes her other arm. “No pouting about boys unless you’re going to do something about it.”

She smiles, and for a little while, it’s not forced. There’s a rush of excitement as they walk inside and find their seats. Genya isn’t too far off from her, but Zoya’s a few rows ahead. In the rows between them, still too far to talk to but not too far to make out the back of his head, is Mal. He’s talking to the guy next to him, even though she’s pretty sure he doesn’t know him. But that’s Mal, blooming wherever he’s planted.

Alina knows she shouldn’t, but the ceremony hasn’t started yet, so she stands and calls out, “Mal!”

Somehow, he hears her over all the ruckus around them. The smile he gives her has her heart beating double time. “I’ll find you after!” he shouts back, though of course, she already knew that. Mal always finds her.

As the ceremony starts and a handful of different people come up to make speeches, she finds herself slipping into her thoughts from earlier. In her head, she sees Mal and Ruby, meeting for that drink. They pick up right where they left off. Ruby moves to the city, moves in with Mal. Alina’s there through all of it, supporting Mal like she always has, always will. On the sidelines she stays, watching him as he gets married and has ridiculously beautiful babies. None of it is real, not yet, but the thought is so painful she has tears in her eyes.

Well, at least she can blame the tears on emotional graduation bullshit as she watches her friends walk the stage, cheering for each of them even though they’re not supposed to. Tamar and Tolya, the latter looking pretty emotional himself. David, who walks quickly even though he’s probably the most awarded student of the whole graduating class. Nikolai, who dramatically presses a kiss to the hand of the Os Alta University President after she hands him his diploma. Zoya, who walks the stage as if she owns it.

Then Mal’s name is called, and she cheers so loud she’s pretty sure he hears it, if the grin on his face is any indication. Genya crosses, graceful as always. When her own name is called, she’s not expecting much. She has no family here save from the one she forged for herself. But as she walks, she can hear a very distinct cheer from a very distinct voice, and butterflies swarm drunkenly in her stomach.

In the minutes that pass between her walking the stage and the last name being called — poor Nadia —Alina knows what she’s going to do. No backing out this time.

“Congratulations, Class of 2021!”

Everyone cheers, and graduation caps go flying through the air. Alina tosses hers with everyone else, and then she takes off, pushing through her classmates as they jump and shout, running until she finds the right row, forces herself through the bodies in her way, until she’s in front of him. Until she’s found Mal.

“Alina,” he says in surprise. “What are you—”

“Don’t get a drink with Ruby.”

Mal frowns. “What?”

“I said don’t get a drink with Ruby!” she says, louder this time.

“I heard you. I’m just confused.” He shakes his head, runs a hand through his hair. “Why shouldn’t I have a drink with Ruby, and why did you run to tell me this right now?”

Because I’ve been in love with you from the first moment I saw you.

Because I wanted to tell you at prom, but I chickened out.

Because I’ve watched you kiss other girls for almost six years now, and I can’t stand to just watch any longer.

Alina doesn’t say any of that. Instead, she presses onto her tip toes, takes his face between her hands, and kisses him.

Mal stiffens, but doesn’t give her time to worry before he relaxes again, pulling her body against his, lifting her so she doesn’t have to stretch so far anymore. All around them are the happy cheers of a group of people at the end of one road stepping onto another. Families in the stands hoot and holler for their children, wipe tears and think, they made it.

But for Alina, it’s like being in a room where nothing exists except her and Mal, her best friend, her constant, the most important person in her life. She’s kissing him, she’s finally kissing him, and he’s kissing her back as if he’s been waiting for six years to do this, too. Like maybe he’s wanted her all along.

“Alina,” he breathes when their lips part, their foreheads pressed together instead. “Thank the bloody Saints.”

She giggles, actually fucking giggles, like a lovestruck school girl. “I’ve wanted this since prom. Before, even.”

Mal smiles, shakes his head the tiniest bit. “Me too.”

They laugh, so close that they’re breathing each other in. Two idiots, that’s what they are. But there’s no room to groan about what could’ve been sooner, no room to drown in regrets. They are young, and there is only room for joy in knowing they have the rest of their lives to make up for lost time. Starting now. Their lips meet again. Mal is steady and warm against her. He feels like home. It’s everything she’s ever imagined. It’s better.

Alina can see her future so clearly now, because she knows no matter what comes next, she’ll have Mal beside her to navigate through it.

He is all she’s ever wanted — her forever person, who won’t leave when she’s being unreasonable, who’s love is not conditional. He is all she’ll ever need.

#malina fanfic #alina starkov #malyen oretsev #fanfic #grishaverse fanfic #writing #mine #this didn't quite turn out how i expected but then again when does anything i write lmao #just some nice sweet malina feat idiots not realizing they love each other and lots of fun pining!#I HOPE U ENJOY ANA MY LOVE #it's 2am why do i keep writing at this hour sksksk #also don't entirely know how i feel about this but it issss what it isssss #maybe one day my writing style will be everything i want it to be

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greensaplinggrace · 3 years ago

Text

What Is There To Celebrate About the Darkling? (Part 3)

1 2 3 4

His shadow powers are so badass, literally how could you not celebrate him for that alone?

Villain wears black trope REPRESENT.

The way his cloak billows dramatically in episode one before Alina enters the Fold.

The way his cloak billows in general.

His little face in the background after his and Alina’s first kiss as he tries to compose himself.

Him knocking on the table in episode five when he gets back to see Alina. My mans was so hopeful that he’d finally get to third base with the love of his life. RIP.

Large hands. Very tall.

The way he literally cannot tear his eyes away from Alina during the entire scene where Alina dresses him and they have their first kiss.

The softest looking hair I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe Alina got to run her hands through it and she still left him.

How he urgently looks around for Alina outside after she leaves in episode five, right before he confronts Baghra. He’s very frantic and panting and clearly concerned and not being subtle at all about his emotions.

Also the way he walks when he’s leaving Baghra, with his hands stuck out to the side and his fists clenching and unclenching as his form grows smaller in the distance. He looks like a tiny penguin waddling away.

Son’s evil dastardly bastard plans once again thwarted by own mother. Can you imagine living for an eternity and never being free of your parents? Fuck all that other shit, no wonder he went darkside.

“She is all that matters now, not me. She is the future. She is the one-” SIMP

His little smile before he goes to answer the door after they kiss. The way his hold on her lingers as if he can’t bear to part with her. Forehead touch. They are giggling.

The way he runs back in for another kiss. This man is so gone it’s not even funny.

He calls her to him in the books and she spends the entire time agonizing over how upset he’s going to be. The man literally just wants to ask her about her day.

Defends Alina to Baghra after he witnesses her getting harassed. Defends himself to Baghra after she treats him like shit. Love that for him.

“I made something.” / “Let me make a mark on this world before I leave it.” / “It’s my own name I’m afraid of forgetting.” / “He understood then. The Grisha lived as shadows, passing over the surface of the world, touching nothing. Forced to change their shapes and hide in corners, driven by fear as shadows were driven by the sun. No safe place. No haven.” / “There will be, he promised the darkness, words written upon his heart. I will make one.”

Him offering Alina his kvas. They drink from the same glass.

Sasha “no thoughts head empty only Alina” Morozova having to look away and calm himself when Alina licks her lips after drinking his kvas.

Literally his entire confrontation with Kaz. Absolutely hilarious. Local centuries old Black Heretic gets bested by a teenager with one (1) flash grenade.

“I never intended for it to be the blight it’s become.” - Genuine regret. A+++.

Asks Mal what Alina’s favorite flowers are and then gives them to her. Was it manipulative? Yes. Was it awful? Absolutely. Was it the funniest and smoothest shit I’ve ever seen? 100%. I laughed my ass off.

Alina: *enters the fete dressed in the black kefta* *Darkling.exe has stopped working*

This man takes one look at her lack of guards and goes: what’s more important than how beautiful the wifey looks? her safety. *protective bf mode initiated*

He admires how pretty he appears in the mirror of his room with absolutely zero shame and 100% pride. We stan a vain icon in this house💕. Also the mirror is in front of the bed?!?! 👀👀👀

His knife ring.

“You looked like you needed saving,” as fire plays across his features and he looks at Alina with an expression that makes my soul want to splinter into pieces. The implications, the pain.

Will display his complete and utter adoration for Alina in front of the entire Court including the King and Queen despite the fact that that is the worst thing he could possibly do in the political environment.

“No ordinary tracker. No ordinary girl. Orphans of Keramzin reunited. AdOrAbLe.” - How do you say you have issues without saying you have issues?

The way he eclipses Alina when he’s stepping down from the dais. The inherent romantic symbolism of the eclipse and what that means for him.

Him getting excited about the stag to the point where he’s eagerly rummaging through the maps on his table and urgently asking Mal tons of questions.

The five second delay in his thoughts as he processes that Mal isn’t cooperating. Poor guy really thought that everything was finally coming up Sasha for once.

He constantly uplifts Alina after Baghra’s emotional abuse. He constantly helps her with her self esteem and reassures her that she’s doing well and that she just needs more time.

“Yeah I don’t know what Baghra’s summoning ability is,” he said, like a liar.

Even after Baghra suggests that Alina left he doesn’t believe it. He has to hear it from Kaz after searching for ages before he finally begins to believe it.

“You smuggle Grisha out of MY PALACE!”

Titty grab during the kiss scene.

He lifts her up onto the table!!

Local whipped dark overlord gets excited that Fedyor has found Alina and has to suffer through the embarrassment of acting like a lovesick fool when he learns it’s just about Nina.

His relationship with Nikolai.

The fact that Alina’s scarf blows past him before they even meet.

The way he nods with such an understanding expression when the Conductor is lying his ass off as if he sympathizes with everything the other man is saying and isn’t secretly planning his elaborate murder.

Puppy dog eyes all the time.

Every time his smile is forced and ingenuine and he looks like he’s about to stab someone.

Every time his smile is genuine and he looks super soft and loving.

“You have no chance, ShAdoW mAn.” Literally how is he ever going to recover from this.

His hands motions when he summons. I just think they’re neat.

He kills the Conductor. Hated that guy. And he looked sexy as fuck doing it.

He hates the Druskelle, he hates the Ravkan monarchy. I can relate.

He’s NOT a bootlicker, unlike some.

Dad mode gets activated when David raises his hand. Aleksander just goes along with it like an exasperated father.

Ben Barnes nose scronch.

He begs for Luda’s life.

“Merzost feeds on us. I forbid it!” two seconds later *frantic rummaging through notes on the merzost* *reading the Forbidden Knowledge™ without any hesitation* *Immediate Disaster Occurs*

“Mom look what I made!” “Your art is atrocious and you’re no longer my son.”

His history was written by the victors. The tale of the Black Heretic is straight up propaganda by the corrupt monarchy.

Immortal old man caught in a young adult love triangle: I read your letters. Malyen “what the fuck is happening on this here day” Oretsev: ??!?!?!!! who even are you??

Aleksander admitting he needs Alina.

Darklina hand holds.

He did not have to make that episode eight hand-hold on the skiff so sensual but he did it anyways.

The way he hides under his cloak like a turtle when Jesper shoots at him.

He looks so awkward and isolated at the fete surrounded by all of those colorful nobles.

He’s always ready to murder a bitch and honestly I respect that.

Would kill for his gf.

That entire scene where he kisses Alina in the snow in the books like the most awkward motherfucker and then goes “wtf just happened?! Darkling out” before fleeing the scene of the Emotion.

He’s eternally confused by his feelings for Alina and it’s hilarious.

“Looking for trouble, and if I cannot find it I will create it.”

He’s basically just a moth attracted to a fatal light. RIP.

The way he throws open double doors like a man on a mission.

“Follow.”

He’s utterly precious and I would die for him. 🖤

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angst-fairygodmother · 2 years ago

Note

We all know that Leon probably dies not much longer after Honey. Probably a few months. Enough time to make sure everyone's going to be alright (Trick situation: the kids were always going to be alright without their parents).

Selina is angry/jealous that her brother and daughter can see her parents at will. She ignores that they have to kill themselves to do it. Sure he can conjure them, but she's conflicted about that too.

Sunny becomes obsessed with visiting Honey at least until Leon dies. He uses the guise of Klaus. He wants to keep her for himself. Sometimes he presents himself as a little boy or a teenager to make up for all the grief he put her through with his addictions and disappearing for two years.

Nikolai takes their deaths harder than anyone expected. ESPECIALLY Leon which takes Selina by complete surprise. He finds it hard to communicate what it is that is causing him so much grief, but it's really because Leon's been his dad longer than Sergei ever was. Leon always told Nik that he was very easy to love.

Luther is also devastated. Leon and Honey were his first friends outside of the academies. Actually they were Sloane's first friends too. And it was reciprocated, Honey did not have actually confidantes outside her sister and Leon until she met Sloane. They were both worried the other would judge them on their pasts.

Funny enough, I suppose this is the same situation for Diego and Lila too?

Irina and Lev and JT are the most ok with everything. Their period of grieving is far shorter than their parents and uncle and great uncles/aunts.

Leon's heaven is just a dingy flat in White Chapel above a Greek restaurant and Gracie with the flowers in her hair.

Now your turn: Jess and Ollie and their family's reactions 🥹😮‍💨

😭 I love this, but also hate it. Why would you do this to me?

Jess and Ollie have a similar timeline actually.

They live well into their eighties, or maybe even nineties (probably nineties. I like the word nonagenarian better). Time to not only meet but really have relationships with grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Jess dies first. Of something slow enough that she has time to say goodbye, but not painful. Just age?

Of the next generation, I think the three that take it worst are her middle daughter, her and Ollie’s son, and Sean (after all, she was something of a mentor figure for him for most of his life, and their similar interests kept them close. Although actually I think he takes the years leading up to her death, where age has stopped her from being able to take pictures anymore harder.)

Her eldest daughter is very stiff upper lip about it, and feels like it’s her job now to take care of the others, and she only cries after she’s sure her siblings, cousins, and their kids are all okay.

Cormac probably handles it best out of them, both because he met her later in life which gives them a unique relationship, and because of his scientific approach to things. (Plus if he’s anything like his father, he has the chance to talk to her again.)

I have no idea on the grandkids and great grandkids. Some are devastated, others take it better.

Ollie dies within a year. Suddenly in his sleep.

His official cause of death is a heart attack, but everyone in the family knows that it was actually a broken heart, it just took a while.

The family is equally saddened, but are able to take comfort that they’ll be reunited.

This is the one that gets their eldest and youngest daughters, the latter probably at some point begs any/all of the folks in the family that can to bring him back, so they can have one more conversation, one more hour with him.

(I tried to think of how Selina and Nikolai would feel, if they outlived their other halves, but I think that is too much pain.

#happy belated Tragedy Thursday #Moonbrella Lake #Honey x Leon #Oliver Sway x Jess O'Neill #headcanons #sadness #death tw

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aurorxaeternitatis · 2 years ago

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It’s strange, almost unnatural. Just a few months ago, we were able to share secrets, laugh, indulge each other’s interests. Every message you sent brought a smile on my face, every next meeting made my heart race. Our views were so different, our perspectives clashed, yet I wouldn’t change a thing. I wouldn’t change a single thing. Your smile, your tears, your pessimism, your joy, the harsh reality you spoke of. All of these conversations and topics marked our friendship as something special to the point it felt as if we spoke a different language. Our own language, mostly marked with words, sometimes gestures, sometimes with our own bodies, but it all started with words. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with us, and the Word was us. Funny how words really are the beginning of everything.

Today the canvas is blank, the room is quiet, the brush is still. I spent an hour sitting in front of it, thinking of a memory to paint, thinking of a motif for today. Nothing came, my mind remained blank as if the memories themselves were too crushing to process. Perhaps I didn’t want to remember. I didn’t want to think about you, yet here I am, writing a letter.

“The past is in the past, you ought to move on, forget about them”, this is the worst advice anyone can ever give. How is one supposed to forget about someone who helped make them who they are today? How is one supposed to forget about years of their life as if they never happened? Just like you wouldn’t rip out pages of a novel, you shouldn’t rip out the pages of your own story. I shouldn’t either. I should read it, over and over again, as hurtful as it is, and simply learn from it so I make no more mistakes. Doing anything else is cowardly. Nikolai would at least agree on that, I hope. I find it harder to get a read on him these days. Either I’ve indulged my own desires for too long and turned a blind eye to things around me or he’s figured me out and became shrewd. Both options worry me. I know you’d point out that it was rightfully so.

Nevertheless, I’ll start writing a new chapter. By the time you’re reading this letter, it will be in full motion. I believe you’ll disapprove of the direction I’m going to take, but you’re aware that you wouldn’t have been able to change my mind even if I had told you sooner.

Would you like to dine with me? A proper date at a proper restaurant, and a kiss for goodbye.

#永 letters to Vanessa ( Alexander / triptych )#永 a chess master ( Alexander / main v. )#yep.

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sanktnikolais · 4 years ago

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Shadow and Soul

A/N: guess who has another content again after like two months? KJAHSFLKHASDF

Have this Mafia au bc the Vincenzo energy in me is very strong rn and i wanted to write some chaotic/serious mafia au

Word count: 4701

CW: Violence

An attempt on the head of the Lantsov Family's life has occurred under their noses, and it's up to the Underboss and her Consigliere to settle things the clean way or the dirty way.

How Zoya could still find patience for the man in front of her was a mystery. But having more patience for the all-too-smiling Consigliere beside her was a skill she had acquired over the years, and as much as she wanted to strangle her lawyer companion, she couldn’t deny she was enjoying the look of rage on Anton Demidov’s eyes as he tried not to lash out his anger. The smug facade he was currently wearing wasn't able to keep the emotions from showing in his gaze.

The small restaurant they were cramped in was humid enough to dry up what’s left of her restraint from wanting to tear the furious look from the man’s face, but she strengthened her resolve. There were several other people dining in here with them, and it would be rude if she suddenly did something rather unlady-like to this gentleman in a suit. Besides, she did promise the infuriating blond that she would ‘be diplomatic for once’, as per his request.

Perhaps she could try to be.

“It’s a fair deal, dearest Anton,” said Nikolai to the Demidovs' caporegime, still grinning his usual crowd-winning smile. When his eyes cast down to Anton’s now clenched fist on the table, the glint of amusement in Nikolai’s eyes only became brighter. If there was something her Consigliere was good at, it was pushing another person’s buttons by merely smiling. “No more threats to the Lantsovs and no more operating the casino without our jurisdiction, and I will personally tell our enforcers to stop the assault on your family’s businesses. Possibly sprinkle a monthly cut from your profit into our pockets, too, no?"

Considering how Anton’s jaw twitched in annoyance only told Zoya that he didn’t like the deal at all. Having the upper hand over the Lantsovs meant being powerful enough to actually go against them, and considering that they were the most powerful among the families, it was a rather bold move to attempt murdering Alexander Lantsov.

Ever since the day the Lantsov head was openly shot at, along with plenty of their men in the streets of Os Alta, Zoya had considered the move as an act of war and broke any peace treaties between their families. She led the attack on the biggest casino the Demidovs had in Kribirsk, effectively shutting the place down and cutting the third of the family’s investments. The assaults continued for the next two weeks, even the smallest businesses didn’t escape their wrath, until the Demidovs were backed to the corner and forced to surrender.

If it were another circumstance, she would have stopped there. She knew they would have learned their lesson by that time. Yet the thought of failing to protect their chief because she hadn’t anticipated any attempts on his life that day only gave her enough reason to continue the attacks.

"I would suggest listening to him. Do him a favor, will you? He loves talking,” Zoya said with unexpected calmness. She leaned back to a more comfortable position in her chair, reaching up to remove the first button by her collar.

This must have brought the wrong impression on Anton's guards stationed by the far window to the left, and they were already reaching for their weapons from their holsters. She merely raised an eyebrow at them.

Panic seized Anton’s eyes as he turned to his guards. He pointed a finger at them. “You’ve frisked them, right?” he demanded. Even though he tried to sound very much authoritative, the slight tremor in his voice didn't go unnoticed by Zoya. But the guards seemed to be oblivious of this, and still nodded nervously. “Then why are you all acting hostile? Stand down.”

Zoya snickered silently. So much for being the one to lead the assassination attempt but was already panicking over the smallest movement she made. She itched for her gun, which was unfortunately dismantled and held by Anton's right hand man as per their no weapons rule during business talks. Her shoulder holsters felt impossibly light without its presence. Maybe it was time to stop the bullshit that was called 'talking' and just start the real line of action.

Patience, dearest Zoya, her infuriating Consigliere's voice echoed in her head. The way he was starting to rub off on her was terrifying. It'd be a good thing to be diplomatic for once.

"No need to be jumpy, Anton. It's just too humid in here." Zoya emphasized her statement by fanning herself with a hand. She heard Nikolai chuckle beside her. "Besides, it's not that I have any more weapons on me."

Come on, lash out at me, goaded Zoya in her mind. Give me enough reason to finally take you down where you stand.

Anton turned back to her and smiled tightly. "I'm aware of that, Miss Nazyalensky. But I can't blame my men for taking precautions, especially around someone who's known to be ruthless."

"I'm honored, sir, but we can't as much as do anything considering the number of your guards in here with us." She shrugged, gesturing to her right. "There's just the four of us."

Her eyes met the two lone guards of their own at the opposite side. Where they only brought the twins along with them for safety, was Anton Demidov’s unit of at least twenty men surrounding the place. She almost found it funny—he was the one to first make a threat over the Lantsovs and yet he was cowering in front of them.

Tamar made a face, gesturing crudely to the Demidov caporegime and making Zoya chuckle lightly. Her twin brother Tolya kicked her in the shin, but there was no denying the smile he was fighting to appear on his lips. Seeing their presence lightened the tense weight on her shoulders somehow, as she knew that they alone could take Demidov's men if things went south.

And considering the stubborn set of Anton's jaw and the fury in his eyes, blood will surely be shed tonight.

Zoya glanced around the room, silently counting how many of his guards were inside the restaurant with them. She let her eyes wander for a few moments, and she was able to count at least eight. There were probably a few more she hadn't seen, but her eyes catching a woman in a bright red overcoat was enough to make her wince and look back to Demidov.

"A rather powerful move," Nikolai said lowly, making her turn to him with a raised brow. There was a smirk playing on his lips as he continued to watch the other man, and it was a clear sign that he was quite enjoying seeing Demidov almost ready to explode. He leaned a bit closer to her ear. "It's really not the perfect time or place to take off your clothes, sir. But if you can make them squirm by doing just that, then be my guest. A little fun before the storm isn't so bad."

Zoya rolled her eyes, her foot connecting solidly to his leg. He let out a muffled wheezed, and he covered it up by clearing his throat when Anton gave him a weird look. Knowing Nikolai was already stressful enough, but having him as her Consigliere and hearing him do the talking most of the time was exhausting.

But he got things done without having to use guns or knives. Words were his weapons, and though he was often mild and considerate during negotiations, he still wielded his words dangerously when circumstances deemed it necessary.

"What do you say, Demidov?" Nikolai said, his grin returning. "It's a rather generous deal."

The table rattled as Anton's fist slammed down on it. "We will not be your family's lapdog," he growled through gritted teeth. If he had been able to hold in his rage, now he was full on acting on it, just like Zoya had expected him to do. "You think you're all so powerful and strong just because you're controlling this city, but not to me." He looked at Nikolai with utter disgust. "I'm surprised Alexander even cared for his bastard enough to appoint him as Consigliere out of all designations."

Something snapped inside Zoya, feeling her suppressed rage flare back to the surface, and she was already considering tipping over the table to the man's face. But a hand enclosed around her wrist from under the table, the touch warm and familiar for her to know it was Nikolai. He must have sensed her sudden want to resort to the worst way.

She risked a glance at him. A shadow had passed over his usual cheerful face, his eyes hard and empty as his jaw twitched in anger. Then a smile appeared on his lips a moment later, the sharp, wicked smile of a man who had reached the last straw of his patience.

"Are getting personal now, Anton?" Nikolai said, his tone still surprisingly calm. "I thought it was all business?"

"Oh, that's true. All business, Lantsov," Anton spat Nikolai’s name like a poison that stung his mouth. "And if I kill you right now, I can just report you for trespassing. It's still business, no? I'm just protecting my property."

Zoya raised an eyebrow. "Is that an open threat?" she said flatly. “Do tell me if it is so we can settle this the way I know we both wanted from the start.”

"Depends on how you put it." Anton gestured to the door. "And if you both are smart enough, then that means you know your only choice is to leave."

So the Demidovs still chose not to have a ceasefire between the families. It was exactly how she expected this night would go. Nikolai owed her a drink later.

"You're acting way too brash for a caporegime," said Zoya as she reached for the cup in front of her to take a sip of the leftover coffee from an hour ago. "Are you sure your family could handle another attack in any of your remaining businesses?"

Anton looked almost smug. Confident, even, as if he suddenly had the upper hand against them. Oh, how Zoya hated to ruin his bravado. "As you've said, Nazyalensky, there's only four of you. So you should watch that tongue of yours."

A sneer threatened its way to her lips, but she didn't dare let it show. She wondered if he would still have the same smugness later, when she finally demonstrated the 'ruthlessness' Anton liked to describe her with.

There was a tense silence around them, and if Zoya listened harder, she was sure she could hear the guards' heavy breathing even from ten meters away. She eyed the other exits—all guarded by Demidov's men. Even the twins' position to their right was at a disadvantage, they could be easily opened fire on if they weren't fast enough to take cover.

"Very well. It would not be a fair fight." She relented, making it sound as convincing as possible. She put the cup back on the table. "We will just leave."

The Demidov caporegime huffed but didn't say anything more. He leaned back on his chair, his triumphant smile never wavering. "I'm glad you're finally starting to think, Miss Nazyalensky."

Another wave of annoyance, and what she could sense as her suppressed rage resurfacing, washed over her. She wrinkled her nose in displeasure. They should have just ambushed the caporegime on his way here. It would have been much easier. Plus, they could even save time and sanity for not going through this 'civilized' negotiation. In their world where power was the only thing to protect you, you should never give a chance to your enemy to take it from you.

Eliminate and narrow down the list of your enemies.

It was now up to Nikolai whether they would go through it or just leave.

The Consigliere leaned back on the chair, his other hand reaching up to loosen his tie. There was a look of disappointment on his face, but his eyes said otherwise. He was already expecting this. "That was quite an exchange," he said with a shrug. Then he shook himself for a bit. "Wow, I think I need to use the restroom after all that. Do you mind if I go? Or should your guards come along to make sure I'm not doing anything out of the ordinary?"

"Just get on with it and leave. I should have known this meeting was useless from the start."

Nikolai feigned a hurtful look. "Oh, how harsh," he said dramatically. "But alright, your call."

The hand that was still around Zoya's wrist loosened, his fingers coming around until his forefinger rested on her pulse point. Warmth erupted from where his skin met hers, and she tried not to let it distract her from the message he was trying to say. He had held her like this far too many times, had even been in a much closer proximity than now when their situation needed them be, and yet her heart still threatened to leap out of her chest whenever he touched her.

Focus, her mind berated, and that’s when she felt it: his finger tapping on her skin twice. It was their go signal. They had made their own sign language over the past three years, when business talks and other matters got a bit out of hand and they needed to subtly communicate with the other. It was something that only the two of them knew of, and it definitely did wonders for them when words weren’t needed.

Zoya gave him a pointed glance sideways as he stood up and let go of her wrist. It was the look that said, I told you so, and she knew if they were somewhere else, Nikolai would have frowned and whined something back. But it wasn’t the time for it.

With one last squeeze to her wrist, he finally let go, straightening the lapels of his coat to show his disappointment on how the negotiation had gone. He cast one last glance to the Demidov caporegime before taking his leave and going to the restroom. Zoya let her gaze follow him until he disappeared around a corner.

Please don't be a moron and find it, she thought before standing up as well, reaching for his suitcase that was carelessly lying on the floor.

One of Anton's guards, which she recognized as his right hand man, approached the table. He had a skeptical gaze on her, like he was readying himself to defend his boss if ever she decided to suddenly do something.

She gave the man a cold smile, amusement bubbling in her chest when she saw him wince and look away to turn to his boss.

Zoya took the moment to glance at the twins and give them the smallest of nods. They immediately understood, with Tamar moving away from their spot to come nearer to the table. Tolya remained in his position, but he already had his hand braced on the holster around his hips.

"That Consigliere of yours," Anton started, making Zoya look back at him. His second was holding up the coat to him, and he turned to shrug it on back to his shoulders. "He really does love talking, doesn't he? It might be the reason he gets killed one day.”

As if I would let that happen. It made her eyebrows furrow, her gaze narrowing dangerously to the caporegime. He had been making a lot of subtle threats to them, and Zoya wasn’t letting it slide. Only one family would be walking out from this place tonight.

And it wasn’t going to be the Demidovs.

“Worry not, Anton,” said Zoya, her cold smile returning, “I’ll make sure to tell him that.”

“Tell me what?” Nikolai’s too cheery voice echoed a moment later, and Zoya turned to his direction and saw him approaching them. He had stripped off his long coat, leaving him in his shirt and tie. Her eyes went to the coat he was holding. The way it was folded on his hand looked enough for it to conceal something, and she could only assume he found it.

“Nothing of importance, dearest Consigliere,” Zoya mused, reaching for her own coat hanging on the chair’s backrest. “Just some gibberish, though I can tell you about it later.”

Nikolai chuckled. “I do hope it’s not something alarming,” he said. Then he stepped in front of her, his hand catching her wrist again to stop her from putting on her coat. Then with a small smile that softened his features, he murmured, “Let me.”

She let him take her coat from her hand, and gently, he helped her slip it on. To others, it would look like a normal sight; a man assisting his Underboss like any other members of the family would. But if one were to look closely, it was actually just an act to cover something up.

Zoya looked up at his eyes with mock respect when there was the familiar weight of a weapon being slipped back to her shoulder holster. Nikolai made a face in return.

I found it, he mouthed with a wince. Then he tugged at the lapels of the coat a bit roughly, as if to get back at her for doubting him, and it earned a glare from Zoya. He smiled innocently, then his hands came up to the back of her neck to free her hair that was caught up in the collar. She tried not to get distracted by his ministrations, but she found it hard when he reached her collar, fixing it down to make it presentable. They were too close, the act anything if not intimate, and her breath hitched in her throat when his fingers lingered a moment too long on the side of her neck.

Then she felt the soft brush of his thumb against her jaw; it was enough to stop her thoughts altogether.

But Nikolai only winked, a cheeky smile evident on his lips before he stepped back. Zoya wanted nothing more than to strangle him right then. But then again, it wasn’t the time for it. Perhaps later.

She regained her stoic composure, walking over to Anton Demidov who had been completely oblivious of the exchange. It was only out of respect that she still would end their meeting with a handshake. If there was something she refused to let go in her morals, it was respect.

Zoya held her hand out to Anton. The man was hesitant, but still took it anyway. “Well, I bid you farewell, Sir Demidov,” she said with a cutting smile, her grip tightening around his hand enough for him to look alarmed. “It’s a pleasure having the chance to talk to you.”

Then her other hand reached to her holster, grabbed the gun Nikolai had put there, and shot Anton Demidov in the leg.

The man crumpled down on the floor, a scream tearing from his throat as he clutched at his wound. Horror was evident in his gaze as he looked up at her. His right-hand didn’t have time to draw his weapon when another shot rang out from somewhere behind Zoya, hitting the man on his shooting arm, and he dropped to the ground as well. Anton’s several other guards with them started to spring to action, but it was the exact time that all the people dining in the restaurant stood up, drawing out their own weapons and surrounding the Demidov associates.

Outside, gunfire echoed as well. Then after a few moments, it went silent again.

Zoya looked around the expanse of the room. Anton’s remaining guards stood completely frozen in their places as dozens of guns pointed to their direction. She hummed in approval and looked over her shoulder, seeing Tamar still holding her gun to the right-hand man’s direction.

Thanks, Zoya mouthed to the woman, who in return tipped her head in acknowledgement.

“As I’ve said earlier,” she started, waving the barrel of her gun down to Anton’s face, “it would not be a fair fight.”

“What—what is the meaning of this?” Anton demanded, his voice quivering in both terror and pain. He tried to back away from Zoya, but someone had already stopped him with a foot on his shoulder.

She looked up and saw the woman who wore the bright red overcoat that made her eyes hurt, and Zoya gave her an unamused look. “Something a bit tamer next time, Genya?” she said. “It’s a bit overwhelming to look at. Maybe a maroon.”

Genya laughed lightly. “Of course, anything you say, sir.”

Zoya nodded in gratitude before she turned back to Anton, who was still on the ground. “This night could have gone well, you know? All we wanted was your approval for a ceasefire. But here you were, acting all too smug for a family whose reputation is almost down the drain and making empty threats that you have no power to do.” She stepped forward, jabbing her foot down the man’s injured leg and earning another scream from him. “Well, wasn’t it you who pulled the trigger on the Don? Now man up, take it like a champ.”

“How” —Anton wheezed out in pain— “how is this possible? My men have frisked you and your Consigliere.”

Nikolai appeared beside her, looking casual in his posture as if he had come to a reunion with some old friends. “Simple. You don’t check the customers coming into your business,” he explained. “Another civilian could enter the same restroom earlier before the Consigliere, and he could have slipped a weapon and taped it under the sink.” He shook his head with a dramatic sigh. “Only goes to show how shit your security is, by the way.”

The Demidov caporegime could only look at them in disbelief, his eyes going back and forth to Zoya and her Consigliere. Then a laugh escaped him, the loud, desperate kind of a madman. She almost pitied him. The feeling of being backed against the corner having nothing other than yourself to trust and lean on.

She would commend this man for fighting tooth and nail for his Family’s survival and reputation, and yet he had chosen the wrong way to do it by trying to assassinate one of the biggest Dons in the country and starting a war. There were some battles that were out of one’s reach and power, and it had been the Demidovs to take the risk and lose everything to their wrong decisions.

Anton continued laughing for another long moment, his breaths becoming more labored the longer he laughed. Then when it seemed that he finally ran out of air, he looked back up to her. If Zoya was expecting to see defeat in his eyes, then she was so wrong.

Because in them, she saw nothing but cold fury, the kind that brought a lingering feeling of dread in your chest. If she were some other person, she was sure she would have cowered back and let fear take over.

But that was before she knew what horrors the world they lived in now did to young and naive girls. Fear was one’s shadow, something they could never go against nor get rid of, so she learned how to wield it as her weapon instead.

“What are you going to do now? Kill me?” Anton said, another laugh escaping his lips. He had already gone pale from the loss of blood, but he continued. “Killing me would only make things worse. It’s not going to change anything.”

Nikolai pretended to consider a thought, his eyebrows furrowing. “You’re right,” he said. “But I think I have an idea.” He stepped forward, and Zoya handed him her gun.

Without wasting another second, he pointed the gun to Anton’s other leg and pulled the trigger. The beginning of a howl tore from the caporegime’s throat, and he hadn’t even had the chance to fully voice out his pain when Nikolai shot him again on the shoulder.

Zoya blinked in surprise, the gears in her mind working as she looked back to Nikolai. Gone was the diplomatic look of the Consigliere, only the face of the Demon Prince remained, the same persona that terrorized the streets of Halmhend City for years. His eyes held a dangerous glint that she only saw him have for his sworn enemies.

“That’s not even the same number of bullets my father took when you tried to murder him in the open,” Nikolai said mildly. “But don’t worry, I made sure not to hit you anywhere critical. Killing you will get you an easy way out. I don’t want that.” He kneeled down beside Anton, leaning dangerously close to the man with the barrel of the gun planted on his chest. “I want you to see how your Family despises you because you couldn’t let go of your ego and accept that you’ve made a grave mistake. I’ve offered a ceasefire, but you didn’t take it. So I guess you’d rather take a few bullets, then?”

Through his labored breathing and pained state, Anton still managed to glare at the Consigliere. The man’s got determination, Zoya would give him that. But he had made the worst decision of having Nikolai as his enemy.

There was another tense silence, and then Nikolai was laughing lightly, patting the caporegime on the cheek. Just like that, he was back to the cheerful Consigliere persona. “I like this one,” he told Anton’s right-hand man who lay a few feet away from them, a look of fear in his eyes. “Fiery soul. Make sure he’s back to his feet in a few days, alright? I want to see what Irina would do to him.”

Zoya shook her head and watched as Nikolai stood up and handed back the gun to her. He looked back at her with a confused expression.

“What?”

“Nothing. Remind me again not to strangle you next time you do something brash?” She turned to their men who were still patiently waiting for their next order. “Get them out to the other side of the street. Make sure they’re easily seen by their colleagues when they arrive.”

Their men immediately did as they were told, shuffling out of the restaurant quietly as they dragged the Demidov Family’s associates to the streets. Tamar and Tolya waited for the both of them by the front doors.

“Was that even necessary?” Zoya asked the Consigliere, who shrugged in return.

“It’s only fair I’ve wounded him. It’s nothing compared to the men he’d killed in the ambush as we haven’t even taken any of his men’s heads.” Nikolai said, putting his long coat back on. “I have actually talked to Irina Demidov yesterday. She told me to get rid of him.”

Having a talk with the Demidov’s Underboss only meant bad news. “Really?”

“Yeah, but I’ll let them handle it. Besides, they twist the fact that we killed one of their caporegime against us. We both know their history.”

Zoya huffed. “Good thinking,” she said.

“There’s a reason why I am indeed a Consigliere, Nazyalensky,” said Nikolai, feigning a hurtful look. “I’m not all talk and no action.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.” She paused when her eyes caught sight of the messed up knot of his tie. Her hands were already reaching to fix it before she could even realize what she was doing, and she heard his breath hitch in his throat. At least she wasn’t the only one who got caught off guard when the other was near.

She finally finished straightening his tie after a few more moments, patting down at his collar for emphasis. “There you go,” said Zoya. Her voice coming out a bit breathless than she intended was something she hadn’t expected from herself. “Now we’re even.” She stepped back, putting a bit of distance between them and looking anywhere but him. “Let’s get out of here before the Demidovs arrive to get their associates.”

***

And as the car sped into the distance some time later, the place where the restaurant the Demidovs owned was now nothing but ashes on the ground.

#zoyalai #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov #king of scars #my writing #mafia au #LET'S GO #VINCENZO ENERGY IS STRONG #idk this isn't edited we die like soldiers #anyways #i've had this for like a week and i just finished it tonight #i said i wanted mafia au #so i wrote mafia au #have this mess from me #IM BACK THO #i hope ;-;#im a basic bitch and can't think of proper names #im sorry for that #T-T

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officialleotolstoy · 4 years ago

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Oh Dolokhov Brainrot We’re Really In It Now, aka Dolokhov playlist annotations!

A note on the cover photo: I don’t really like this one but I got tired of looking at men on Pinterest so I gave up. The window symbolizes the rum window and the smoking symbolizes uhhhhh habitual bad life choices idk

Drinking game take a shot every time I say “it’s about the vibes”

Wrecking Ball - Mother Mother

“I break it just because I can”

This is THEE ‘I am going to cause problems on purpose’ song and that is like his entire narrative purpose!! Argue with me about this one I dare you

The Good, The Bad, and the Dirty - Panic! At The Disco

“If you wanna start a fight you better throw the first punch, make it a good one”

Partially its just vibes, I won’t lie. But also the consistent spoiling for a fight is very in character

Shoot to Thrill - AC/DC

“I’m like evil, I get under your skin”

It’s got I Am Morally Repulsive But Also I’ll Steal Your Girl energy which really hits all of Dolokhov’s character traits. And of course the added bonus of gun imagery.

Mr. Brightside - The Killers

“It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this”

I added it strictly for vibes, but then I realized the quoted lyric is very much him @ the Kuragins if you take the reading that he refuses to admit he actually like them but grows genuinely fond of them over time even though he initially got to know them with a lot of ulterior motives.

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

“Mama, I just killed a man”

The amount of songs that are on these playlists just for what are essentially your mom jokes since Dolokhov loves his mom so much is a little pathetic. But I’m not wrong! I can’t really put it into words but something about this song has Dolokhov energy.

Feel It Still - Portugal the Man

“Give in to that easy living, goodbye to your hopes and dreams”

A good deal of what I find interesting about Dolokhov is the internal conflict he has of knowing he’s become rather wicked and problematic but also not really trying very hard to change and almost enjoying it so a lot of the songs on here are about that, including this one. The “I’m a rebel just for kicks now” also very much screams Causing Problems On Purpose.

The Bidding - Tally Hall

“I like to take advantage of the bourgeoisie”

His whole role in volume one and two is to take advantage of the bourgeoisie! This song also oozes confidence and a sense of superiority that comes from being better than the sellouts in high society, Dolokhov’s not like other girls uwu (he really is, but I don’t think he would admit that).

Say Amen (Saturday Night) - Panic! At The Disco

“I could be better but baby it’s Saturday night”

Embracing his own wickedness! The idea that he knows he could be better than he is but he doesn’t want to take that opportunity...yeah vibes

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - Fall Out Boy

“I became such a strange shape from trying to fit in”

This is the epitome of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase he goes through when he’s into Sonya. Also “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color” reminds me of Comet Dolokhov’s stupid eyeliner <3

Some Nights - fun.

“So what is this? I sold my soul for this?”

There’s a long stretch of this playlist that just boils down to “Woe is me I need to be purified” crisis hours, because Dolokhov’s oscillation between embracing his own cruelty and trying to be a good person is super interesting to me. This song captures the idea that he’s still having fun and there’s some good there, but he’s also aware that he’s losing himself a bit

Roaring 20s - Panic! At The Disco

“I don’t even know me”

“Woe is me i need to be purified” crisis AGAIN. This song gets more to the annoyance with society as a whole and feeling kind of lost in it

Send Them Off! - Bastille

“Help me exorcise my mind”

“Please purify me 16 year old girl! I’m 27 this isnt creepy at all ahahahha”. I do despise Sonyakhov but this has the vibes of a man feeling his own evil and wanting a woman to fix it. Not a great look.

Easy Days (Demo) - Bastille

“I don’t wanna fall back again, back into the easy days”

Near the end of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase when he’s kind of drifting back to his old ways and he’s like wait no- wait- and then he does anyway because he’s horrible. I also really like the acknowledgment that his horribleness is easy and pleasant for him, and he has to fight against that (and he loses that fight HDJAJJD).

Undisclosed Desires - Muse

“You trick your lovers that you’re wicked and divine”

This is a Dolokhov/Nikolai song I do not take constructive criticism. Undisclosed desires...not being straight...lots to think about! It feels almost like a corruption arc? Nikolai isn’t corrupted nor does their...fling (?) last very long but Nikolai is obviously enamored with Dolokhov despite him being The Worst so I think this fits. I don’t have enough songs for a Nikolai/Dolokhov playlist so I just add those songs to both of their individual playlists

Thnks fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

“Thanks for the memories even though they weren’t so great”

Also mostly a Nikolai/Dolokhov song. This man has never ended a relationship on good terms, huh. Also. Sighs heavily. “He tastes like you only sweeter” never fails to make me laugh when I think about it in the context of Dolokhov post-duel being like oh?? You’re just a stupid WOMAN Hélène your brother and/or Nikolai is hotter than you :/ which is not exactly what I think happened but it makes me laugh to consider. Dolokhov ur bitterrrrr

Dangerous - Royal Deluxe

“I’ll be the last man standing here, I’m not going anywhere”

I feel like this has the vibes of his cruelty, especially in that bit after the Kuragins have died when he and Petya infiltrate the French army.

Another One Bites The Dust - Queen

“There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man”

He will hurt you and kill you so violently :) It’s about the vibes.

White Wedding Pt. 1 - Billy Idol

“It’s a nice day to start again”

In the exact inverse to his “woe is me I need to be purified” phase, he’s like ok yes i will pick up bad habits again and enjoy them because frick you! I read once that this song is about a relapse into drugs, but I’m making it analogous to his relapse into Terrible Person Behavior after Sonya’s rejection. Also the repetition of the phrase little sister does something for my brain idk, after we know he loves his mom and sister it just fits.

Highway to Hell - AC/DC

“I’m on the highway to hell and I’m goin down”

Like White Wedding, it screams acceptance of his problematicness. He knows he’s cruel and evil and he revels in it. This is the phase we see him in most I think.

Back in Black - AC/DC

“It’s been too long, I’m glad to be back”

I think this plays every time he gets reinstated to an army position he lost by being reckless earlier. Just kidding sort of but listen to this song and tell me it doesn’t have Dolokhov vibes. If you do, you’re wrong <3

Poet - Bastille

“I have written you down now, you will live forever”

This is just here cause he ghostwrote Anatole’s love letters and I think it’s funny. It’s MY playlist and I get to choose the barely relevant Bastille songs

St. Jude - Florence + The Machine

“Maybe I’ve always been more comfortable in chaos”

This one’s more scattered lyrics than an overall vibe. “Each side is a loser so who cares who fired the gun” has duel energy also.

Hey Look Ma, I Made It - Panic! At The Disco

Confession: I hate this song. However, it’s about the about the MOM R U PROUD OF ME vibes (she is. Should she be? Probably not).

Rich Kids - Bea Miller

“It’s never enough for the stuck up types”

The not coming from wealth and having to almost scam your way into being part of the aristocratic scene is very Dolokhov. Also in my mind the rich kid he’s roasting is specifically Nikolai.

Money, Money, Money - ABBA

“It’s a rich man’s world”

I’m not SAYING the wealthy man they talk about is Anatole but - [i am shot]. Scheming and clawing your way up to wealth is Dolokhovcore.

This Is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco

I literally have no justification for this other than that i think modern AU Dolokhov would vibe with it. Look at the amount of eyeliner he wears in Comet and tell me he didn’t have an emo band phase. You can’t.

Trouble’s Coming - Royal Blood

This is not about the words at all, it’s more about the vibes. It just sounds Dolokhovish to me, don’t ask me to explain.

Sleep Alone - Two Door Cinema Club

“They’re just ghosts and they can’t hurt him if he can’t see them”

This gives me post-Kuragins’ death vibes, and I can’t pin down exactly why? I think it’s the idea of being very alone and closed off.

Golden Days - Panic! At The Disco

I can’t put a specific lyric to it but it’s the vibes of looking back on your hedonistic youths with nostalgia and rose-colored glasses. Post-Kuragins’ death vibes again.

Go Get Your Gun - The Dear Hunter

“One foot in the grave, the other one’s kickin’ its way right down to hell”

All we see of him after the Kuragins’ death is just him being particularly cruel and reckless, almost careless. This feels like it encapsulates that energy.

The Fallen - Franz Ferdinand

“They say you’re a troubled boy just because you like to destroy”

I’m aware that a good portion of this song is about a Christ figure but I’m going to respectfully ask you to ignore that bit and just focus on all the Sketchy Things the guy does instead. Thank you. He does in fact like to destroy things! Señor Cause Problems On Purpose back at it again at krispy kreme, huh.

#war and peace #fedya dolokhov #my post #w&p playlists #i counted i said the word vibes 13 times #so sorry

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youremyonlyhope · 3 years ago

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Thoughts on the Six of Crows Duology

Maybe it’s because this took place over a much shorter timespan than Shadow and Bone, but I feel like I could pinpoint all the plot points and the timelines of Shadow and Bone better than I can for Six of Crows. When I made my post about SaB, it was easier to remember the order that everything happened. I think that because SoC has multiple chapters covering the same period time from different characters’ perspectives along with lots of flashbacks thrown in, that it’s causing the order of events to be a jumble in my mind.

But anyway, Six of Crows was a dramatic and fun (well... not fun..) heist novel, while Crooked Kingdom made it its personal mission to destroy me emotionally. I loved every second of it but I don’t know when I’ll properly recover.

Obvious spoilers for Six of Crows trilogy, but also the Grishaverse in general. (Most of this was written at the end of June but not posted until now)

So I guess I’ll start with Six of Crows. Maybe I’ll do a paragraph for each part... I’ll probably give up on that pretty quickly but we’ll see.

I love that the series has Inej’s POV be the first of the Crows that we get and then she also gets to be the last POV of the Crows too. If I hadn’t seen season 1 of Shadow and Bone first, I’m not sure how I’d have reacted to Kaz’s ruthlessness or the world of Ketterdam in general. I also knew that the Kanej relationship would be insane amounts of pining and the pain of requited-but-thought-to-be-unrequited love, so I was sort of shocked that in one of the first chapters Kaz changes clothes with Inej in the room and she ponders “Am I the only one he lets get this close?” And he says in that same chapter “my darling Inej, treasure of my heart...” I was like, I know he’s probably teasing but oh my god... we’re just going right into it. Leigh’s teasing us already. I knew then it would be torture. Moving on. Matthais killing a wolf hurt my soul and I wasn’t even aware that the wolves were THAT sacred to Fjerdans. And I guess maybe I shouldn’t have watched the show first since Matthais trying to choke Nina did not shock me.

I give up on this one paragraph per part thing already.

Something I did not expect was Jesper sort of having a crush on Kaz too. Did I just not notice that in the show or did they decide to leave that out? I guess I shouldn’t be shocked but still, reading about Jesper’s little tiny thoughts of jealousy was interesting. Inez’s thoughts of how much she hated that her heart’s arrow seemed to aim for Kaz when nothing can ever come of it hurt me. AHHH and idiot Kaz saying “I always come back for my investments” to Inej when he’s carrying her just.. this idiot. Did he ever even say “I’m sorry” at some point in the books? I can’t remember, it’s a blur of emotions. Kaz, sweetheart, you’re CARRYING Inej, you can barely stand having someone touch your sleeve and you’re CARRYING her. How could Inej even question that he cared about her more than just being another investment if he carried her to safety? How could you question it if he feels comfortable enough to undress around you? The boy’s dumb, listen to his actions not the stupid words he says.

It’s funny, while double checking how many more Grisha books remained as I walked to my bookstore a few days ago to pick up Nikolai’s books, I saw on Leigh’s website that she has another book called The Ninth House. And it said “While the books of the Grishaverse can be safely explored by readers of any age, Ninth House is darker, more graphic, and intended for adults.”

...

Ok Leigh. Tell me in what world would the scene where Kaz stabs and pulls out the eye of Oomen then throws him overboard be considered a scene that can be “safely explored by readers of any age”?? That was a lot. I wasn’t expecting that level of personal violence this early. I was just as horrified as Wylan and Matthais were when they witnessed it.

Anyway. Nina wishing for one more day of Healer training back in the Little Palace hurt. Looking back through the book just now I laughed at Nina saying to Jesper, of all people, “Do you know how to find a Grisha who doesn’t want to be found?” I have so many thoughts about Jesper that I will have to save for later. And Matthais’ “I might have loved you too.” felt like a stab to my heart. Honestly I know I said earlier that Crooked Kingdom ruined me, but I guess SoC did too and I just forgot about it all until just now because Crooked Kingdom turned it up to another level.

The friendships they all have. I almost wish they never needed to leave that boat. Nina and Inej were adorable when Nina sang for her. Jasper and Inej bonding over questioning why they still follow (and love) Kaz while also knowing neither of them ever want to stop was amazing. Throw in Kaz thinking “Because I’ve been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days” about Inej and it’s just a recipe for making Hope emotional.

People had told me the Nina and Matthais scenes of SaB season 1 were pulled straight from Six of Crow’s flashbacks, and they were not lying. A few differences here and there but it’s pretty accurate. I think the show’s pacing for those scenes was off though, sometimes it felt rushed and other times it felt too drawn out (especially since I had no clue how these two would fit into everything because I hadn’t read the books yet). Reading the scenes made me appreciate what they’d been through much more. And I do like how the show adapted the reason that Nina turned Matthais in as a slaver.

Slowly having Kaz and Jordie’s backstory unfold was traumatizing. I had wondered what made him so touch averse, and now I get it. What Kaz went through was terrible. I could barely read the words because it was so painful. Inej being so understanding while not knowing everything that happened, just knowing that Kaz needs her to not judge him for fainting or recoiling from touch, was beautiful.

The reveal that Jesper was a Grisha was sort of spoiled for me because 1) in the show one of the Heartrenders said “What are you? You’re a-” to him so that was a big hint. And 2) a YouTube comment I saw confirmed that that line referenced that he was Grisha. This is a trend, YouTube comments have spoiled me multiple times over the last 2 months. You’d think I’d learn, but nope, I just got spoiled for Rule of Wolves not even an hour ago because of a YouTube comment. I thought I was finally safe to watch SoC videos since I wouldn’t be spoiled. I forgot that people can discuss the other books too. Anyway, Jesper being a Fabrikator is a dream come true since that’d be my ideal Grisha power. Even though I knew it was coming, I still was sort of surprised by the way it was revealed, so I’m sure that it came as a shock to readers who avoid spoilers, unlike me.

The entire heist in the Ice Court caused me constant anxiety. How in the world could everything go so wrong in so many different ways and still work out? I felt like every single page there was some new blindside and yet the Crows (but mostly Kaz) managed to figure out a way out of it. I really didn’t think that it’d start to go wrong as early as it did with literally the first very first steps of the plan failing. Nina and Kaz searching the cells and getting caught, Inej finding out that the chimney was hot and ended up melting her shoes (I was so especially mad about the shoes being ruined). I was very surprised that Kaz was as reckless as he was to detour and find Rollins. It felt out of character, but proved how deep his hatred is if he nearly risked the entire reward just to make sure that he still has the chance to get revenge on Rollins later.

Nina and Inej pretending to be with the Menagerie was insane. Inej’s internal freak out when Heleen recognized her made me feel so scared for her, but I was 20 times more scared for Nina with Brum. Those few moments where I thought Matthais really had betrayed the Crows and sold them out to Brum made me so mad. I knew deep down it had to be a bluff to get Brum out of the way, but I was still scared it was real. God, I felt so much relief when Matthais let her out, they found Kuwei, and Kaz got them all out through the Sacred Ash.

The stealing and driving of the tank was borderline ridiculous, but I was just happy to be along for the ride. Nina using the parem though... and the pain she went through afterwards while in withdrawal. God that hurt me. I couldn’t even be remotely happy at Kaz admitting he wants Inej because I was so worried about Nina. I literally was like “Kaz shut up about your feelings, Nina’s body is literally falling apart in the other room.”

I should have seen it coming that the Van Eck deal was too good to be true, and yet I was still blindsided by the attack and the kidnapping of Inej. And then going straight into a chapter narrated by Pekka Rollins was like whiplash, but I just went with it. I didn’t really realize how strange it was to get Pekka’s POV, but I didn’t care because I saw all the remaining pages and wanted to see how they’d save Inej. Then that chapter ended and on the next page I read the words “I have a degenerative condition...” I was confused by the sudden use of first person, and realized I was at the Acknowledgements, which meant the book was done.

I looked from the last page, back to the acknowledgements, and back to the last page, then I literally said “WHAT” out loud as it hit me that the book had ended with the worst cliffhanger I think I’ve ever experienced. I legitimately tossed the book to the floor after I came to terms with the fact that book was done. I was so mad.

Onto Crooked Kingdom! Boy did I not know what I was in for. I thought I did. I knew Chapter 40 was coming but instead I got an entire book of emotional destruction.

First of all, I love maps. So I was very glad to get a detailed map of Ketterdam with streets! And actual places! I probably stared at it and studied it for 5 minutes straight before even reading the book. The more detailed a map is, the happier I am. This map made me very happy.

The biggest takeaway of the first section of Crooked Kingdom is that Inej still believes that Kaz only cares for her as an investment. Breaks my heart. But also, Kaz traumatizing a little girl in the first few chapters makes you wonder if he even deserves Inej (he does, but wow is he ruthless. He didn’t kill the kid at least I guess).

Colm. I have thoughts about Colm. He’s such a loving father. I will say more later when it’s more relevant. I loved that the rest of the Crows came to Jesper’s defense to create a lie for his dad, and that Colm adopted all of the kids. I can’t even read the word Colm without wanting to sob so I’ll stop with him for now.

I don’t know how I feel about us, as the readers, being left out of pieces of the plan. I’m not sure if this is something I love or hate about the way that Leigh writes the Crows novels. It’s fun for plot twists and usually does make sense when it’s from the POV of a character that Kaz purposefully leaves out of part of a plan, but that doesn’t always end up being the case. The Alys kidnapping was a complete blindside to me. Matthais sharing the chocolates he bought for Nina with Alys was sweet though, that he wants Nina to eat again so much that he’s ok with it just being sweets. I feel so bad that Nina can’t even eat that.

The Goedmedbridge plan with all the fake Mister Crimsons was an actual stroke of genius, if only the Shu didn’t come out of nowhere. Once again, everything going wrong yet the Crows finding their way out of it somehow. While Six of Crows felt like everything was going to plan until it wasn’t and then they were able to get back on track in a different way, Crooked Kingdom felt like constant blockages and blindsides and conflicts that came out of nowhere. The story and the plan and the plot changed so many times that it felt like I was on a roller coaster getting whiplash.

I’m scanning Part 3 and honestly, this feels like it all happened 5 minutes ago not like it was in the first half of the book. But oh my god, the line after Kaz and Inej stakeout the Van Eck house. “I would come for you. And if I couldn’t walk, I’d crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we’d fight our way out together – knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that’s what we do. We never stop fighting.” Inej, my girl, how in the world do you think this boy doesn’t care about you? Oh my god... oh my god... I’d die if someone said something like that to me. Kaz, sweetheart, love, sometimes you say the stupidest things, but then other times you say the most violently romantic things I’ve ever heard.

And then Matthais saying Nina looked “Enchanting” in the Fjerdan clothing? This was just chapter after chapter of me squealing. And honestly, once again, meeting Zoya in the tavern feels like it happened in Part 5 not Part 3. I read this book so quickly that I really can’t remember the order of events until now that I’m scanning it.

I’m really glad that we got more of Wylan’s backstory and got to meet his mom. I wish he could have been better prepared for that, but there was no way. Hearing about Matthais’ wolf Trassel was the perfect thing to start breaking my heart. I said this last time with Hershaw and Oncat, I’m more sad when a pet is left behind by their dead/missing owner than when the pet themselves die. I nearly sobbed when Matthais thought about how Trassel must have been abandoned by the other Druseklle when he disappeared.

Matthais, Jesper, and Kuwei half-theorizing an antidote for parem was amazing. Also I love that Matthais is the one who kind of guesses that Jesper’s restlessness is the effect from him not using his power regularly. Matthais, you really had a knack for understanding the Grisha.

Ok. Here we go. Jesper’s backstory. When I found out that Jesper was half Kaelish and half Zemeni, I was beyond overjoyed. I am half Black half Irish, with the same parentage as Jesper, so that representation made me happy. I didn’t expect to shed tears though when we finally got his backstory and to get to know his parents a little. The love that his mom and dad had for each other was absolutely beautiful. The fact that Aditi died while trying to save a little girl hurt me so much. Jesper wondered if he had been older and more trained would he have saved her, but honestly, he probably would have just put the poison in himself and died instead. Colm saying “She was a queen, Jes. She was our queen” tore out my heart. The way that Jesper and Colm had to look after each other after that. Jesper trying to cook and burning the food but Colm still eating every bit. Them just having to try to be ok after losing her, and Jesper knowing he wasn’t meant for this life on the farm. All of it continued to tear my heart straight out of my chest and stomp on it.

Guys I’m legitimately tearing up all over again. I had to fight to not be a mess reading it the first time and I still shed some tears over it. This is why I can’t even type Colm’s name without letting out a sob. He loves his son and his wife so much. He always wanted what was best and was constantly worried for them because they’re Grisha. They’re Zowa. I couldn’t handle Jesper’s backstory. And every single interaction Colm and Jesper had after I read what they went through, I’d let out a sob or even shed a tear. I loved their relationship and the love they have for each other so much.

Everything going wrong in a billion different ways at once honestly made me go “Come on not AGAIN.” Dunyasha coming out of nowhere, Pekka Rollins sabotaging Kaz, the other Lions ambushing the Black Veil. It was honestly a miracle that they all got out of it. I was especially, ESPECIALLY, proud of Matthais coaching Kuwei and Jesper on how to use their powers to get them out of the situation. This boy went from killing Grisha, to helping lead them. This character development is amazing. And he’s still internally fighting the part of him that says “Unnatural” and is making the choice to ignore the hate that was trained into him. I love him.

Nina’s zombies though. At first I was like “Oh haha she can control bones, that’s fun” when she blew up the tavern windows, but that turned morbid, literally morbid, very quickly. Animating corpses. I mean. It’s a great power to have honestly. Disgusting and horrifying, but very useful.

“What do you think my forgiveness looks like, Jordie?” “Who the hell is Jordie?” When I say I gasped and my jaw dropped at that part... Literally, I couldn’t move past that line for at least 30 seconds. I just stared at the page and reread those two lines over and over again because I could not believe Kaz really slipped up like that. But also, oh my god, the implications of how much Kaz cares about Jesper if he’s mixing him up subconsciously with his brother, the brother who literally is the reason he has fought to become the feared gang leader he is and to bring down Rollins. He called Jesper Jordie. I still cannot believe it. And the way Kaz’s face looked frightened... I’m so excited to see this scene in the TV show.

Ok, home stretch.

Jesper and Colm finally clearing the air was yet another scene that made me shed tears over these two. The way that we found out that Colm didn’t want Jesper to go to be trained but gave him the choice anyway, and that Jesper didn’t go because he didn’t want to leave his father behind. God, my heart would have just broken if he’d left Colm behind. Oh no I’m going to start crying again. “His heart hurt. His head hurt. Guilt and love and resentment were all tangled up inside him, and every time he tried to unravel the knot in his gut, it got worse.” I felt that. I hate that after all of that, the conversation didn’t even get to get to end on good terms. Colm still doesn’t want him to use his power because of what happened to his mother, and Jasper says “I’m dying anyway, Da. I’m just doing it slow.” and it absolutely destroyed me. It’s like they put my heart back in my chest, only to rip it out again and shred it this time.

And then of course that led to Jesper kissing Kuwei instead of Wylan, which brings up some messy dubious consent stuff. I thought it was a little out of nowhere, but then I remembered the Kuwei did complain earlier “Why do you keep looking at him? I look just like him. You can look at me.” At that time, that complaint seemed strange, but it made sense when this kiss happened that Kuwei liked Jesper too.

But who even cares about Jesper and Wylan and Kuwei having some sort of love triangle, when the bathroom scene is coming up for Inej and Kaz. I don’t mean to push Jesper and Wylan’s relationship woes to the side, but oh my god. I swear, I was holding my breath while reading this bathroom scene. I felt like I was personally interrupting their moment every second that I was reading it, but also I needed to keep reading to see what would happen. Every touch was as nerve-wracking for me as it was for Kaz (ok maybe not, but still). And after all of that, after Kaz tells her the horrible things he did to the people who were in on Rollins’ plot that killed Jordie, she still sees the good in him. I cannot handle these two. Oh my god. These two are on a completely different level of pining. “If you ever cared about me at all, don’t follow.” Poor Inej, having to go from that intimate moment to watching Kaz be beaten and somehow win a fight with 20 people.

Sturmhond showing up made my life. The moment I read the words “fox-faced man” my whole body perked up. I was like “Hope. Don’t get too excited. Yes it’s probably him, but don’t get excited.” but when Kaz recognized him I actually squealed at the confirmation. Nikolai owns my heart. And so does Jesper now. So the little bit of dialogue those two shared made me actually kick my feet with joy. “Take me with you.” Honestly, these two together for a period of time longer than 1 minute would probably make the world explode. But oh, what I’d give for a Jesper and Nikolai buddy comedy...

When Leigh let us believe that everything was going wrong in the plan (Wylan telling Van Eck everything, the fake Council of Tides crashing the auction, Inez saying Kuwei has to die) only for us to find out that it was all really a part of the plan was just plain cruel. I was so upset. I guess it’s fitting, after all the things that really went wrong for them, they had to take a little bit more. But this is one of the few times that we the reader are completely left out of the plan, and it’s not just because we’re following the POV of someone who was left out of whatever specific part of the plan didn’t involve them. This time all the characters knew, but Leigh didn’t tell the reader.

The way that Van Eck’s story and lies all just fell apart bit by bit was beautiful, though. Masterful. Kaz pretending to take Rollins’ son was almost cruel, but he was lying, so it’s ok. I was going to be horrified if he really did it though, but I was also thinking “When would he have had time to do all that anyway?”

Chapter 38. I had been spoiled before even starting the books that Matthais would die. And I had seen a YouTube comment that said “I can’t wait to see Nina and Matthais’ actors do Chapter 40.” I assumed his death happens in Chapter 40. So when I started Chapter 38, I assumed this would be the last time I’d read a chapter in Matthais’ POV. I was wrong of course.

But Matthais’ death gave me nearly the same feelings that Owen Harper’s first death in Torchwood did. It came out of nowhere, right when you think everything is solved and all that’s left to do is go home. Our beloved character talks calmly to the person with the gun, relates to them, tells them they’re more reasonable than to shoot, and then gets shot point blank anyway out of nowhere. “You don’t want to hurt me. I know. I was like you once.” is what Matthais said. “We’re both rational men, scientists. I know you don’t want to shoot her.” is what Owen said as he protected Martha. The main difference is that I wasn’t spoiled for Owen’s death, so it really blindsided me, but he also got revived shortly after. I was spoiled for Matthais’ death right down to the chapter it happens in, but his death was finite.

And then I think we’re about to lose Kuwei, but Zoya’s able to save him. Matthais shows up, gives us a little hope that he might be ok (but I knew he wouldn’t), and dies in Nina’s arms. Nina attempting to resurrect him ALSO gave me Owen vibes, right down to the black eyes, but that resurrection didn’t stick. God. If I had known Matthais’ death would be so similar to Owen’s... no, I don’t know what I’d do. I can’t tell if I’d have been better off knowing how much it would remind me of Owen ahead of time. Maybe it’s better I didn’t know of the similarities since that made the death worse, despite me knowing it was coming.

Chapter 40 still being in Matthais’ POV, right when I had come to terms ahead of time that Chapter 38 would be the last time I read his narration, came as a real shock. He’s with the wolves in heaven. Ahhhhh. Help. The friends not even knowing how he died makes it even worse.

“We were all supposed to make it.” That’s when I started to let tears fall. I’d really been fighting it. I was like “Hope. You knew this was coming when you started this series. You are fine. You’re fine.” and then Wylan says that and I’m like “I’m not remotely fine.” And Colm telling them to say their goodbyes, and Colm being himself and making me cry with every other line he said anyway, just made more tears fall as they walked up and said goodbye.

I’m glad Nina got Matthais’ share of the money. It breaks my heart that she now has to go and bury him. I’m excited to see what she does in King of Scars or Rule of Wolves (or both, I know she’s in at least one of them) since she’ll hopefully keep up Matthais’ dream of helping the Fjerdans accept Grisha. I was beyond proud of Jesper to be like “I shouldn’t hold that much money right now” and Kaz saying “That’s the right move, Jes” in approval. And of course, Colm and Jesper saying goodbye did nothing but make me cry MORE.

And here we go. The chapter that made me actually cry. Before this, it was just shedding tears and choking a sob or two. Inej’s final chapter made me actually sob and cry so hard that I could barely read the pages through the tears. Kaz really bought her a boat and named it after her. “I don’t know what to say.” “Say you’ll return.” just tear my heart out please.

But what really got the waterworks going was Kaz having Nikolai find Inej’s parents for her. God. The last time a book made me happy cry was The Color Purple, and it was a similar situation. Celie’s sister Nettie returns to her, and I had to fight not to cry when I finished that book while on the train. When I saw the musical version on broadway a few months later, I sobbed so hard with happiness that I cried through the finale, through the curtain call, and kept crying as I walked up the aisle and out the theater. I couldn’t handle how happy I was.

Inej being reuinited with her parents was Celie and Nettie all over again. Now that is some HIGH praise. The Color Purple is one of my favorite books. I cannot give any higher praise to Crooked Kingdom than to compare Inej’s reunion to Celie’s.

And Kaz being a little concerned that he’d overstepped by doing it, then Inej insisting he come to meet them too was adorable. “Is my tie straight?” And her mom’s shock at finally seeing her daughter again, oh my god. I read this in bed last night at 3am. When that chapter finished, I put the book on my chest and just lied there and sobbed for a full minute. I couldn’t stop right away like I managed to do for the other cries. This cry had to come out and it had to take at least a little bit of time to run its course.

Of course, I’m glad that Inej got to ensure that Rollins never returns to Ketterdam, and I get that having Pekka have the last chapter is a parallel to Six of Crows, but I almost wish the book had just ended when Inej found her family.

I am at 4600 words and still not done, but it’s 2am so I’ll add more thoughts tomorrow evening.

...

That was all from late June. Fast forward almost a month, I’m finally adding to this post.

Something I was worried about when I first started reading Six of Crows was that there was colorism when casting Jesper. Reading that he was described as dark skinned and then looking at Kit Young, I felt a little bit... iffy about it. Because I know, as a mixed person, we get a lot of privilege in Hollywood and are often the only Black people in tv-shows and movies. We benefit from colorism, especially when it comes to mixed women, since light to medium skinned Black actors are often cast instead of dark skinned actors. I spent most of Six of Crows worried that they’d taken the Zemeni character of Jesper, who also happens to be the only Black character, and casted him with a mixed actor. I could tell while reading the book that Kit had played Jesper perfectly, which made me feel a little better, but I still had a bit of discomfort. I was worried it was Rue in the Hunger Games all over again.

However, once it’s hinted that Jesper’s father has some Kaelish heritage, and then we later meet Colm and he’s fully Kaelish with light skin and red hair, I felt much better. I actually felt overjoyed because Jesper was mixed exactly like me. I was relieved that casting Jesper with a mixed actor was not colorism, but a requirement for his character in order to be accurate. I was so relieved and also now I fiercely clung to Jesper as another example of representation for me. On that note, maybe they could have casted him with a darker skinned mixed actor, someone like Alfred Enoch for example, just to give dark skinned mixed people some more representation since Jesper is described as dark and Kit’s skintone is medium. But then again, Kit was definitely the perfect choice since he completely captured Jesper’s character and he said he really identified with Jesper’s mixed heritage being like his own. Basically, I’m very happy that Jesper is a mixed character played by a mixed race actor, and not another example of pure colorism in Hollywood (though that’s still a major issue). I really can’t even complain. I love Jesper and I love Kit’s portrayal.

Honestly, the casting in general for the show was really perfect. I might be biased since I saw the show first, but reading the book I was shocked at how perfectly cast they all were.

I am concerned though about Wylan. He is going to be very hard to cast. Or more accurately, Kuwei’s actor will be tough to cast and will have a very difficult job portraying 2 characters at once. And then I guess whoever gets cast as normal Wylan will have to just deal with barely appearing in Crooked Kingdom. Also, as for Wylan changing race to be disguised as Kuwei... I had some mixed feelings about it at first. I really was like “Leigh... what are you doing with this... be careful...” But then Wylan’s narrative showed him being unsure how to navigate the world looking like he’s Shu, having people come up to him speaking a language he doesn’t speak, and being treated differently because he looks foreign to them, especially since the Shu who were in Ketterdam didn’t have the best intentions. I appreciated that. I like that it opened Wylan’s eyes a bit more because he’d been so sheltered his whole life. Even after living in the Barrel and joining the Crows, there were still things he needed to be exposed to, like racism. So I’m glad the story went in that direction with his tailored face. I’m honestly more excited to see who is cast as Kuwei than who is cast as Wylan because Kuwei’s actor is going to have the more interesting performance.

I REALLY enjoyed the Six of Crows duology. I sped through the two books in about 3 weeks (I think I read Crooked Kingdom in probably only a week). Honestly, I’m not speeding through King of Scars that same way. It’s a combination of my work life being very chaotic for the last few weeks, and me being so devastated that Nikolai’s back to having the shadow monster that I almost don’t want to read on. I was beyond devastated when that happened in Ruin and Rising, I thought he’d never be ok again, then I was relieved when it went away. Now that it’s back... I’m just incredibly sad every second that I read this book. I’m nearly halfway through the book though, after the same amount of time it took me to read both Crows books, so we’ll see where it goes.

But I could not put the Crows books down while I read them if you paid me. Literally. I read during every single lunch break at work and was probably a few minutes late coming back because I’d want to finish the page. I stayed up late reading and reading and reading the books. I read on the ferry, I read in the car, I read during times that I’d usually spend watching TV shows or movies. These books were amazing. They destroyed me emotionally, in both happy and sad ways. I can’t get over them. I can’t wait to see them brought to life in the show.

#six of crows #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #shadow and bone #help this post is literally 5800 words i couldn't stop writing #posting now before it sits in my drafts for another 3 weeks

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jojiship · 4 years ago

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Shadow and Bone Season 1 Review

First, I want to say that I’ve never read the books (and i don’t plan to either.) This review is focused on the show. Second, this is my personal opinion, so it’s, of course, subjective.

- I think the best way to start talking about this show is talking about the reason why I watched it, Ben Barnes aka the Darkling. As soon as I heard, I knew I was going to watch it because I find him to be a good actor and he’s my celebrity crush. Ben did an amazing job, especially in episode seven. He stole every scene that he was for me, but my opinion in this is extremely subjective. as for the Darkling, he was a great villain. He was charming and scary, had an interesting backstory and his motivations were easy to understand. Do I still think that he deserves to die? Hell, yes. He literally killed so many people with the Fold and I don’t know how people can look beyond that. It’s also interesting that he had a good point in the past, but he went about it in such a wrong way that he is easily the worst person in the show. As for Darklina, that’s a no from me as a ship. I won’t even get in the age gap, power imbalance and Darkling manipulating Alina etc., I will just say that he is the reason she lost her parents and became an orphan. That’s enough reason for me not to ship them. Also, the chemistry between Ben and Jessie was the best in the show. I hate to admit it, but it’s the truth.

- Alina was great. I think she is a great protagonist for the show. Jessie did an amazing job at portraying Alina. I love how she matured through the course of the season, but still did some dumb shit like get in the Crow’s carriage. In my mind, she should have listened to Baghra (idk if that’s her name). I liked to see a rather selfish and reckless protagonist. What she did in the first episode with the maps was deeply selfish (even though she wanted to be with Mal) as it risked all of the cartographers. I’m pretty sure that all of her team died in the Fold while that blonde guy ended up getting shot to death. I love it when protagonists are deeply flawed and I love it even more when selfishness is one of their traits. Other than, I did love that she doubted Baghra at first. It truly showed how much Darkling had manipulated Alina to that point. As for her powers, they were so cool to see and I liked that she didn’t immediately become powerful. It was quite gradual. Also, I can’t imagine what his anger and vengeance is going to do to next season.

- I heard that book Mal isn’t that good, but I also know people can be hyper critical to characters that are good people, especially when it comes to ships and love triangles. In the show, I loved him. I loved seeing his love for Alina, his persistence and his loyalty as well. As for Malina, I found them cute. Archie and Jessie have great chemistry too. With the childhood best friends to lover trope, I’m in between most of the time. Sometimes, I love it, sometimes, I hate it. I like it with Malina. I thought that I’d love it, but the same flashbacks being repeated over and over again, drove me to the walls. They have been friends for years. I’m sure that they have other memories than that. Stop showing me the same ones for eight episodes.

- Genya, my love. I didn’t expect it, but she definitely impressed me. First, her power was just so efficient. I wouldn’t have any of the powers, but Genya’s was the best and most efficient. She was interesting character, funny and I love that she was cool, but also could be very warm. It could make life so much easier, especially for my frizzy hair. I felt bad for her, of course. She was definitely being used by the King (good for her for poisoning him) and Darkling. The fact that she felt so indebted to the Darkling that she followed him no matter what, is sad. Her friendship with Alina was lovely to see (more female friendships please) and her crush on David. Hopefully, we will see more of her in season 2.

- Zoya is such a bitch and I love it. She annoyed me at first with how she acted around Alina, but when she betrayed the Darkling, that was beautiful to see. It’s what he deserved. I also liked that she still didn’t like Aina. She respected her and her powers, but still didn’t like her.

- The ‘Shadow and Bone’ part was done much better than the ‘Six of Crows’ part. The crows were underwhelming at some points despite their chemistry as a group. Yes, they were entertaining to watch, but simply, boring at times too. I hope this isn’t the case of them being overhyped by the fandom. I hope their story gets better in season two.

- Kaz was the most underwhelming character of the crows. I think the writers deliberately made him mysterious, but they made him too mysterious for me to enjoy it. I know he wants revenge for whatever that Pekka Rollings guy did to him. I really hope he steps up in the second season. I liked some moments of him, but out of all main six, he’s definitely my least favourite. As for Kanej, they seemed fine, but in my opinion, their chemistry wasn’t that great. Other couples had better chemistry than them.

- Inej was definitely my favourite crow. She was exciting to watch, especially with how she hesitated with killing people and her faith in Saints. I love seeing badass female character that still hold into their faith, despite their past trauma.I will love to find out more about her and her past. How she met Kaz, what exactly happened to her brother etc.

- Jesper was so funny. He definitely was the funniest character. I love playful characters like him. However, just like Kaz, he lacked depth. I would have loved to find out more about him as well. The writers were holding back with Jesper as they were with Kaz, but I think they were holding way too much. The fight scene with Ivan makes me wonder if Jesper is a Grisha. If he is, I have no idea what kind he is.

- Don’t have much to say about Nina and Matthias other than they had chemistry (second best after Darklina) and I loved their bickering. Excited to see what the show have in store for them.

Can’t wait for the next season. I’ve heard a lot about Wylan and Nikolai, so I’m exited to see them in season 2.

General Rating: 8.5 (Blame the crows’ storyline for this)

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone review #alina starkov #aleksander morozova #the darkling #ben barnes #mal oretsev #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #nina zenik #matthias helver #genya safin #zoya nazyalensky

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shirewalker · 5 years ago

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Be My Valentine - A Nikolina Fic

Nikolina Appreciation Week 2020 ♛ [Day 1: Valentine’s Day]

Summary: Alina finds her old friend, and secret crush, Nikolai at a romantic getaway she should have taken with her ex. Nikolai wastes no time in making her feel better. And reawakening certain... feelings.

Pairing: Alina/Nikolai

One-shot

Rating: Teen

Also on AO3

Be My Valentine

Well, this was officially the worst Valentine’s Day in all of the recorded history. At least, as far as Alina was concerned.

She stabbed the heart shaped waffle and fought back yet another onslaught of tears, wondering why the hell she’d still come to this place when the reason to come in the first place was no more.

“Bastard!” She hissed at no one, remembering with some satisfaction the look of shock in Mal’s face when she’d thrown the dirty mop water at his face just a few hours before coming here. “Served him right.”

“Whoever it was, to earn that look on your face…” A voice spoke from above, followed by a whistle, both of which Alina recognized in a blink.

She looked up, mouth parted in a wide O.

A smile. One she knew oh so well. “I know I wouldn’t want to be the object of your anger, sunshine.”

“Nikolai…!” She gasped. The next moment her chair was on the floor and her arms were winding tight around his neck. Nikolai. Her best friend. Her secret crush. Well… former. Former best friend. Former secret crush. Who knew what he thought of her now?

Scolding herself for her hasty reaction, Alina let him go and awkwardly picked up her chair. She looked everywhere but Nikolai, not wanting to see the look on his face. Sure, he’d smiled. But…

“Do I have a huge, disgusting pimple on my face?” He asked, humour lacing his words.

She frowned and shook her head, “What? No!”

“Then why are you so diligent in not looking at me, sunshine?” His voice softened, “I missed you.”

She pressed her eyes shut and half-shrugged, half-nodded, “I missed you too, Nikolai.”

He touched her cheek briefly, forcing her to finally open her eyes and face the music. Saints, his eyes were still that shocking storm of green and caramels. Hazel wasn’t enough to describe them. No. They were magnificent and calling them just hazel was downright rude.

And that smile… It still took her breath away. “So,” He started, a corner of his mouth tilting up, “How have you been? And why are you in this romantic getaway but all alone?”

Alina slumped into her chair with a sigh, “Because I wasn’t going to waste a perfectly good trip. One I paid in full.”

Nikolai sat in front of her. He laced his fingers under his chin and arched an inquiring eyebrow, “And why would it be wasted…?”

She swallowed down the bile and anger that bubbled up with that question. Then, remembering she was in the restaurant of the inn – a public place – she hissed, “I wanted to have a romantic Valentine’s getaway with Mal, so I got this to surprise him. Funny thing, he had a surprise for me too. And not a good one.” She stabbed her waffle again and wished for blini all of a sudden. “Imagine my utter surprise and disgust when I go to his workplace to show him the tickets and find his face stuffed between his co-worker’s legs. Oh, and she was calling him all sorts of dirty names and asking him to do all those things he did so well. So, not a one-time thing. Not that there would be any reasonable explanation for him to have his face between her legs!” The waffle flew out of her plate, startling Alina back into reality.

She looked up to Nikolai, expecting anything but the mix of revolt, anger and pity in his eyes. No, not pity. More like… Like he wished he could have spared her this.

Nikolai picked up the ruined waffle and waved in a waiter. He ordered them a plate of blini and hot chocolate. Then he looked back at Alina and sighed, his jaw tense. “I’m so sorry, Alina. No one deserves that, especially you.” He grabbed a napkin and started to press it into shapes, “I knew he wasn’t worthy of you, always so angry at your spending time with friends… Always so… So possessive of your decisions. But you loved him. And you were so happy to find him again after so long.” He sighed and curled and uncurled his fists, “But I never expected him to hurt you like this. Saints… I want to cave his face in.”

Alina blinked at the casual way he’d uttered such a violent suggestion. But she found she didn’t mind the idea. Not at all.

She drank some water and flashed a watery smile, “I know. I guess I was… Blind.” She shook her head. She certainly had been blind. And scared. Oh, what a coward. Instead of acting up on her budding feelings for Nikolai, she’d ran back into Mal’s arms just because he’d said he’d always loved her. Hah! What a lie. And how easily she’d fallen into it.

“Don’t blame yourself, sunshine. You’d always wondered what could have been.” He paused while their food was settled, only speaking again when the waiter was gone. “So, I take it you came here out of anger. Not wanting to throw away the cash?”

“I hoped I could forget all about it. About him, about the time I wasted with him…” She took a bite out of her blini and groaned, “But this place is stuffed with happy couples. It’s a bit hard to pretend otherwise. I can’t even…” She held her tongue, face growing hot with embarrassment.

But Nikolai wasn’t about to let it go, “Can’t what?”

She mumbled her reply into her mug.

Nikolai leaned in, hazel eyes shining with mirth, “Say that again?”

There was no point in denying it. He knew she’d said something juicy and wasn’t going to let go. She sighed and uttered the words, “Can’t even hook up to get back at him.”

Nikolai chuckled, “Because… couples?”

“Yes.”

“Well, would it be your only reason for hooking up with someone?” He asked, as casual as asking about the weather.

Alina shrugged, “Well, it was my first reason. But I guess I want to feel… Free again. Put it behind me. Feel good. He wasn’t… Well, let’s say that co-worker was definitely playing his ego.”

Nikolai snorted. He needed thirty seconds before composing himself and flashing the most mischievous grin he had, “Oh sunshine. Don’t ever change.”

They spent the next few hours catching up, a mix of regret and relief flooding Alina’s mind as she realised she’d missed Nikolai far more than she had thought. How had they drifted apart so easily?

Had she been so in love with the idea of being with Mal that she’d forgotten herself?

“Mum hates it, of course.” Nikolai chuckled, his hazel eyes like embers in the firelight, “She thinks I’m a fool for avoiding those balls. As if attending parties will help me become the heir she needs.” He shook his head and put away an empty glass.

“She seems to be under the impression you’re royalty, huh?” Alina joked, watching the way Nikolai’s lips stretched onto a grin he’d always reserved only for her. Saints, it sent her stomach into a series of backflips.

“You know her. So, what about you? How’s the florist shop going?”

She bit her lip and shrugged, “Not going.”

In an instant, Nikolai’s good humour slipped away, “What do you mean? I thought the shop was as good as yours.”

“The bank didn’t approve the credit and the seller got a better offer.”

Nikolai was silent for a long moment. Then, “And I wasn’t there…” It was more of a mumble to himself, she was sure of it, but she had still heard it.

“It’s fine. There’ll be another chance.” She said, trying to dispel that look of guilt that clouded Nikolai’s eyes.

“But you loved that place. I shouldn’t have been a gentleman. I should have insisted of helping you get it.”

“Then it wouldn’t be my hard won prize.” She countered, just like she had so many times before.

Nikolai chuckled, “I know. That’s why I always respected your decision. Still…”

“Don’t worry, Nikolai. It’s not like I don’t work with flowers. I just do it from my home.” A website, personalized orders and a living room always looking like a greenhouse. Well, considering Mal was out of the picture now, Alina could easily shift things around and have more space for her work.

“You shouldn’t.” He said. Then, in a flash, he was up, and offered a hand, “How about we keep business discussions to another time?”

She eyed the hand with curiosity, “Sure. What does that have to do with your hand hanging in front of my face?”

His wink overflowed with mischief, “They’re playing music over there, come on. Let’s dance.”

Dancing? With Nikolai? A sure way to fall back into that crush of hers. It was a terrible idea. Yet Alina’s hand still found its way to his own hand, and she found herself being led to a small dance floor, where Nikolai didn’t waste a second to sweep her off her feet.

Maybe there was still hope for Valentine’s Day.

“Well, that was exciting.” Nikolai fake-whispered as he led her to her room. “We should do it again tomorrow.”

Alina bit her lip, keeping a bubble of laughter out of the darkened corridor, “We covered the entry with snow, Nikolai! We can’t do it again without risking getting kicked out.”

“But making snow angels at midnight is so fun!”

“If you’re the one covering the other person with snow.” She bit back, though her bite was harmless as she couldn’t keep a grin off her face.

“I had to chill you a bit, you were looking so flushed I worried for your health!”

And just on cue, Alina’s blush turned ten shades darker. “Shut up.” She hissed, hoping he didn’t notice how red her face was.

But Nikolai wouldn’t be Nikolai if his keen eye didn’t catch it.

He braced a hand on the door, right next to her head and leaned in until their noses almost touched, “Why? Am I… Closing in on something?”

His closeness was too much. It made her remember all sorts of feelings she had and didn’t act on. It made her heart skip several beats only to then race to catch them. It made her stomach flutter like a million butterflies had burst to life in there. It made her wonder if he’d follow her through the door threshold.

She scoffed, or tried to, and looked away, “Like what?”

A corner of his lips curled up, “Like how badly I want to kiss you.”

What?

Alina gaped like a fish at him, blinking fast and wondering if pinching herself would be too much at this moment. “Did you…?” She rasped, her heart beating faster than it could beat. It wasn’t natural to beat this fast. Surely she was going to faint any moment now.

Nikolai let out a breathy chuckle, his hot breath teasing her further into cardiac arrest. “I did, sunshine.” He reached up with his other hand to play with a lock of her hair, “I have been dying to kiss you for so long, I no longer remember when it started. I do remember when I realised it was too late to make any move, though…” He added with a softer, sadder tone. “He was back and you needed to know.”

Just like that, Alina’s stomach fell flat on the floor. She looked down, her violent blush freezing in a second. “You really know how to woo a girl, huh?”

“I’m just being honest, sunshine. I remember when you dumped a freshly made pie on my head after you found out who I really was. Never again.” He chuckled, “Plus, I love that look on your face when I give you nothing but honesty. Makes me want to… do things.”

And there she went again. Stomach fluttering, heart going wild, cheeks blazing.

“Are you stalling?”

He shook his head, the tip of his nose brushing hers for one aching second, “Just making sure I read the signs right.”

“Oh?” She uttered, realising she had a hand grasping the lapel of his coat, “What signs?”

He hummed and leaned down to brush a kiss on her throat, right where her heart was beating so loud, “That you are thinking of me and me alone. That you’re no longer looking for ways to get over… him.” He let out that last word with such venom and offense on her behalf, Alina found herself actually turned on.

“I… I really…” she cleared her throat and pulled him closer, “My head is full of you, Nikolai.” She winced, “That came out wrong…”

His laugher startled her for a moment, before his mouth was kissing her neck again, “Sunshine, you are… brilliant.”

She started to moan, the sound far too loud for a dark corridor in the middle of the night, “Nikolai… Please…”

His hum reverberated throughout her body, igniting her blood in a flash, “I want to take my time with you, Alina. My sunshine…” He looked up, pure adoration and longing in his eyes, “I want to enjoy every second we get together. All of it.”

“Me too.” She said in a breathy voice.

Nikolai leaned in and smiled against her neck, proceeding to slowly kiss every bit of skin he could kiss. He made a slow trek up her neck, along her jaw and down the other side of her neck, earning sweet moans out of Alina’s mouth to the point she was close to begging for his lips on hers.

The breaking point was so close, Alina’s legs were ready to give out on her.

And that’s when Nikolai cupped her face between his hands and offered her the most beautiful smile he had to offer her, “Saints, sunshine… I love you so much. Being apart was… too much. Too much…” And then… at last…

He kissed her.

And it was…

It was…

Far better than anything she’d ever dreamed of.

It was a kiss with magic. It was so…! The kind of kiss she was sure was what people meant with true love’s kiss in fairy tales. It made her fly. It made her glow. It made her so happy…!

And then, it was over far too soon. Despite the fact that her lips were swollen from kissing so hard. Despite the fact that her lungs had been burning for air. Despite the fact that she now knew every detail of Nikolai’s lips.

It was too short.

“Wait…” She started, only to be stopped by a quick peck on the lips.

“Tomorrow, sunshine. I… Trust me, I too want to kiss you until I can’t breathe, but… I want to take our time. And, well… Tomorrow…” He chuckled, “Or I suppose today in a few hours… We can continue this, yes?”

“I guess…” She let out, still holding onto his coat.

“Well,” Nikolai started, opening the door to her room with a drunk smile on his face, “Happy Valentine’s Day, sunshine. I look forward to making it a memorable one…” Then he kissed her again and was off to his room, leaving Alina behind and fashioning the stupidest grin on her face.

“Me too…” She let out with a sigh, slipping into her room with a thousand ideas of things to do with Nikolai.

This Valentine’s Day was officially the best in recorded history. And it was only beginning.

#grisha fic #nikolinaweek2020 #nikolina #alina starkov #nikolai lantsov #grisha #the grisha trilogy #mine:nikolinaweek #otp: I want to kiss you #weeee #this came out a wee longer than planned alksjdlkasd #my writing

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morganayenneferburnham · 3 years ago

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Have I Known You 20 Seconds or 20 Years? – Nikolai Lantsov Series

Chapter 1: Devils Roll the Dice, Angel Roll their Eyes

Chapter 2: You Did a Number on Me

Chapter 3: You Could Call Me Babe for the Weekend

Chapter 4: The Best of Times, The Worst of Crimes

Chapter 5: All I Know Since Yesterday Is Everything Has Changed

Chapter 6: That Night We Couldn't Quite Forget

Word count: 2k

A/N: Coming back at you with an update!

I introduced Kaz's POV to make it a bit more interesting. Keep in mind that this is taking place a few years after the events of SOC and CK so Kaz has gotten a bit of time to heal. This chapter explores how the events of the night of the party affect Nikolai, Y/N, and Kaz.

Enjoy! :)

Chapter 6: That Night We Couldn't Quite Forget

It had been decided they would stay at the Hendriks’ mansion to prepare for the next part of the job. It would be easier to keep their plans secret that way and the mansion was much more accommodating for their group than the slat.

A few days had passed since Y/N’s troubling confession. It was true that Brekker seemed to be in a particularly sour mood every time Nikolai had tried to talk to him, but the king still couldn’t believe he’d send the Grisha back to the pleasure house.

Even if Dirtyhands truly was as ruthless as rumored, she was simply too valuable... and Nikolai didn’t believe Kaz was everything the rumors made him out to be. He hadn’t missed the hint of pride in Kaz’s voice when he talked about the many talents of his Grisha. Kaz even seemed quite possessive of the girl. Nikolai knew something else had to be going on. Y/N had to be mistaken. Kaz wouldn’t send her back to the pleasure house, Nikolai was sure of it. So why was she convinced he would? What had given her that impression?

Y/N had avoided him since that fateful conversation, but her distance had done little to clear Nikolai’s mind. Had he really imagined the hurt in her eyes when he had told her he shouldn’t have kissed her? Of course. He had to have imagined it. Surely, she couldn’t believe he didn’t want her. She was intriguing, brilliant, and absolutely gorgeous. How could he not want her? How could anyone not want her?

Nikolai couldn’t stop thinking about her. When his mind wasn’t trying to understand what had happened between her and Brekker, it wandered back to that night. The look on her face when he had pulled back from the kiss had been breathtaking. He had wanted to ignore the guard, ignore the job they had to do. He had wanted to stay in the moment, but that had been impossible.

Maybe he should go see her. He should apologize to her. For what? For kissing her? Or for saying he shouldn’t have? Maybe for asking Brekker about her? It baffled him to find himself so helpless when it came to her. He was usually so charming. Why was it so hard with Y/N? He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to know why she thought Kaz wanted to send her back to the Blue Iris. He wanted to be the one to comfort her. That was his problem. He had always wanted things he couldn’t have. He had always wanted too much. Nikolai Nothing. Nikolai, who has no right to his name. Bastard. Nikolai, who has no right to his crown. Pretender. Nikolai, who has no right to her heart.

“Nikolai! Are you even listening?” He flinched. Zoya sounded particularly annoyed.

“Of course, dear. You were going on about the report we’ve received from Tamar.”

“And what exactly does the report say, moi Tsar?” her raised eyebrow and amused smirk made it clear she knew he wouldn’t be able to answer her. Damn it, why does she have to know me so well?

A knock on the door saved him the embarrassment of having to come up with a poorly concocted excuse.

Wylan’s head popped in from the doorway. “Kaz wants to see everyone. He’s made progress with the plan.”

---

Nikolai and Zoya had made their way to the music room, following Wylan through the corridors. Nikolai took place on the back of the small couch facing the table Kaz was using as a makeshift desk. He was right behind the Grisha who occupied most of his thoughts. The chairs had already been occupied by the other members of their little group of misfits, and he figured he was better off leaving the last available one to Zoya. Though he would never admit it; his choice had been influenced as much by his desire to appease Zoya as his desire to be close to Y/N.

Maybe he should’ve thought about the consequences this particular sitting arrangement would have before taking place. He knew Kaz had started explaining something about the security of the base, but he just couldn’t focus on the criminal’s words. Y/N’s head was practically resting on the outside of his thigh and some of her hair was splayed across the fabric of his trousers. The flowery scent of her hair was hypnotizing. Nikolai couldn’t think straight. He wondered if it was as soft as it looked. Saints he wanted to feel it between his scarred fingers. He wanted to touch her. He wanted her.

He had wanted her since the moment they’d kiss. Since the moment he had felt her relax in his arms. If he was truly honest with himself, he had wanted her since the moment they’d met. He knew fairytales were just that, but he could’ve sworn the beautiful Grisha had cast a spell on him, just like in the stories his mother had read to him all those years ago.

---

Kaz had realized Nikolai wasn’t paying attention to anything he was saying. The King’s entire focus was on the corporalnik sitting in front of him. Kaz felt his anger bubbling inside of him. It was becoming a very familiar feeling when it came to the Ravkan King. Losing Jordie wasn’t enough? Losing Matthias and Nina wasn’t enough? Do I really have to watch her leave me too?

Inej had taken over, explaining what she and Zoya had discovered about the guards.

For a long time after Jordie’s death, Kaz had thought he didn’t really need anyone. He thought he hadn’t needed any human connection, but his crows had shown him otherwise. They had made him realize he wasn’t alone. He could rely on people. He could trust them. Losing Matthias had been hard on everyone and much harder on Nina than on any of them. Kaz had understood why Nina had left Ketterdam to go back to Ravka, but understanding hadn’t softened the blow of her departure. Kaz struggled every time he had to watch Inej leave on the ship he had given her even though he knew she always came back to him. He didn’t think he could bear watching Y/N leave their family to follow Nikolai back to Ravka.

It was funny, really. A former Drüskelle, wrongfully convicted of slavery. A Ravkan heartrender with a ridiculous appetite. A Zemeni sharpshooter with a gambling problem. A merchling runaway with a terrible father. A Suli indenture turned spy. A Kaelish corporalnik with a gift for getting on his nerves. This unlikely bunch of people had become his family. They had found their way into his cold heart. He rarely showed it, but he truly loved them.

He had already lost so much. He couldn’t bear losing anyone else. If that meant crossing a king, he wouldn’t hesitate to do it. He’d get Nikolai the plans and the prototypes he wanted, but that would be the last time he’d work with him.

Inej had stopped speaking. She was looking at him expectantly.

“Thank you Darling Inej.” The corners of his mouth quirked up, barely noticeable to anyone but her. “According to the blueprints, the antechamber to the vault functions as a scale. If any weight is added it triggers a defense mechanism. We’ll have to temper with the mechanics of it. I haven’t quite figured that part out yet. I’m hoping Wylan will come up with something.”

“On it, boss! I’ll take a look at the plans after this.” Wylan had really grown into his role with the dregs. Kaz still remembered the insecure boy he had first met for the Ice Court job.

Kaz nodded. “If triggered, the doors to the antechamber close and it becomes sealed before it fills up with water, drowning anyone inside it.”

“No pressure then.” Jesper piped up, his tone was way too jovial for the grim reality they were facing.

---

Y/N knew this meeting was important, but she couldn’t get her mind under wraps. She could feel Nikolai’s every movement behind her, and it was driving her crazy. She felt her hair move with his thigh as he shifted his position repeatedly. She had avoided him as much as she possibly could. She was trying and failing, to appease Kaz. Avoiding Nikolai had seemed to help keep her mind off him a bit during the day but at night her mind kept bringing up that Saints forsaken night.

The previous night she’d dreamt of him, again. However, it hadn’t only been the memories of their kiss. In her dream, they had been back in her room at the Hendriks’ mansion and, this time, the kiss hadn’t been part of an act. It hadn’t been Ainsley and Eoin Ó Ceallaigh. It had been Y/N Y/L/N and Nikolai Lantsov. That was ridiculous. Nikolai couldn’t possibly think of her that way. He obviously didn’t want her. Why would he? He was King of Ravka. He could have anyone he wanted. She was a Grisha indenture working for a barrel boss. She was no one.

That knowledge didn’t help her right now. Nikolai kept shifting his weight behind her. He was distracting her from the meeting, from her job. She couldn’t keep thinking of him. She needed to pay attention to Kaz. She needed to prove to him she could do the job. She needed to show Kaz she deserved her place with the crows. She had to stop thinking about Nikolai.

Kaz kept explaining the information they had already collected and what else needed to be done before the heist. She willed her mind back to the matter at hand. She managed to ignore Nikolai for the rest of the meeting. Keeping a strong hand on her mind’s reins. Kaz ended the meeting sending everyone on their way. There was still a lot to do before they would be ready to break into the military base.

-----

Kaz knew Y/N was lurking behind him. She had waited for everyone to file out before approaching him. He waited for her to speak, knowing she had something on her mind.

“You are going to send me back, aren’t you?” He heard the tremble in her voice. She sounded resigned.

He was surprised by her question. He had been expecting her to lose it on him for being in such a sour mood. He had been expecting a lecture not… whatever this was. “Send you back? Send you back where, Y/N?”

“The house of the Blue Iris, Kaz. I know you think I screwed up on the job. I know how much you hate people screwing up.” That surprised him. Of course, he’d rather have every job go perfectly according to the plan but that was improbable in their line of work. Why would he blame her for something out of her control?

A bitter laugh left his throat. “Is that really what you think of me?” Wasn’t he helping Inej go after slavers? Why would he send anyone to a pleasure house? Let alone a member of his family?

“I would never send you back there! You’re not people, Y/N. You are important to the crew… You’re important to me.” He knew he should leave it at that. “You’re a valuable investment.”

“But… You’ve been so… angry with me?” He could tell she was unsure, scared to make his anger flare up again.

“I’m not mad that a guard came back earlier than you thought, and that you had to improvise. It was the right move.”

“Then why are you mad, Kaz? What did I do?” He could hear the plea in her voice.

“You did nothing wrong.” That was true. He wasn’t mad at her. He was scared to lose her. Not that he’d ever tell her that. “I’m not angry with you, Y/N. My problem is with the king.” She looked at him, her eyes full of questions. He didn’t want to get into it right now. “You should help Wylan with the plan,” he said, dismissing her.

Kaz listened to her footsteps as she left. He still couldn’t believe she doubted him. He hoped he had succeeded in convincing her he never wanted to see her go. If he wasn’t more careful, he was going to push her right into Nikolai’s awaiting arms.

-----

tagged: @power-of-words23

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai Lantsov fanfic #nikolai lantsov fic #kaz brekker #the crows #six of crows #nikolai duology #leigh bardugo #grishaverse #nikolai series #my fic #ari's fic #chapter 6 #have i known you 20 seconds or 20 years #fic update #that night we couldn't quite forget #crooked kingdom

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thesportssoundoff · 5 years ago

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Lists ‘N Stuff: 00s Heavyweights

I’ve been watching a lot of boxing. A lot. Too much even. Originally it started out of my desire to catch up on fights I had missed after I dipped out on boxing in the late 90s before getting back into the sport around 2007 or so. It eventually delved into a deep dive on what basically amounts to the last 20-30 years in combat sports. Given my love of things like lists, I figured I’d do one. Doing a list for the HWs in the 90s was genuinely a lot of fun because it meant re-watching a bevy of classic fights with classic characters. Doing one for 2000 to 2009? Well....Well ya know. Inarguably the worst division in all of boxing for its entire run of the 2000s, this was not easy BUT by the grace of God and plenty of rumchata, I survived. Here we go!

Honorable Mention:

John Ruiz- I was not going to put John Ruiz on this list. Even as a Puerto Rican, I couldn't go that far. Ruiz's trilogy with Evander Holyfield are among some of the worst fights ever and he was styled on by natural light heavyweight Roy Jones Jr where the only competitive fight that night was Norman Stone fighting with whoever was refereeing. He did beat Andrew Golota (and I think that was a fair call), he lost to James Toney, lost to Ruslan Chagaev and honestly probably got jobbed vs Nikolai Valuev. Ruiz deserves a lot of credit for doing the best with what he had but consider that he fought in TEN straight title fights by the big four and only finished one of them and went 5-4-1 with a ton of split decisions in there and tell me he deserves a spot on this list.

Evander Holyfield- The 2000s were arguably most sad in the HW division because Evander Holyfield was still fighting for titles well into his 40s. Holyfield went 6-6-1 in the 2000s with a trilogy with John Ruiz, wins over dudes like Fres Oquendo and Vinny Madalone and losses to James Toney, Nikolai Valuev (in a fight I thought he won), Larry Donald, Chris Byrd and Sultan Ibragimov. Holyfield was just sort of there in the 2000s with nobody ever really letting him go away because he was one of the divisions few remaining stars. It's not pretty.

Jameel McCline- It kind of gets lost because of how bleh he was but McCline was a pretty solid HW during the 2000s. He was pretty much the epitome of a big dude journeyman tough guy spoiler. He gave tough guys to Sam Peter, Chris Byrd, Calvin Brock and John Ruiz when he was a bit more focused of a fighter plus has wins over Shannon Briggs and Michael Grant. If two fights had gone his way (the Peter fight could've been stopped on Earth 2 and I thought he beat Byrd) then maybe McCline sneaks on this list.

Nikolai Valuev- Some guys are too big to fail but Nikolai Valuev was too big to succeed. His natural size limited how good he could be and unfortunately for Valuev, he was a boxing gimmick from start to finish. Valuev struggled endlessly whenever he got a step up in competition and seemed to always wind up on the right end of a close decision. Boxing's funny like that. The Valuev end came against Ruslan Chagaev but he managed to win another title and eventually fight David Haye in the crowning ceremony of the Hayemaker as a HW.

Oleg Maskaev- Fullest credit to Maskaev who started out the 2000s with a 2-3 record and went on a killer run to eventually find himself set up with a fight vs Hasim Rahman. Losing throughout the entire fight, Maskaev ralled in the 12th round and stopped Rahman to become a champ 10 years after the start of his career.

1- Wladimir Klitschko Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 22-2 Record in title fights- 17-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 6-1

"Wladimir Klitschko looks so good, you wonder what's wrong with him." That's the line Larry Merchant uttered prior to Klitschko's fight vs Corrie Sanders. It was the same fight where Merchant pretty much washed his hands of Klitschko after Corrie Sanders wiped the floor with him and exposed Wlad's questionable chin and recovery chops. Turned out all Wlad needed was Emmanuel Steward to basically rebuild him from the ground up, focus on protecting his chin and using one of the HW division's best jabs ever to keep scared opponents at bay and set up a perfect right hand. Wladimir Klitschko is unfortunately a victim of the times and of a style that led to a lot of stinky fights with barely satisfying conclusions. It's unfortunate because I truly believe regardless of era, Wladimir Klitschko has the skills to be top 10 quality in any time period. The Steward led Klitschko was just a perfect boxing machine and very few guys had the chops to sort of get through that. In the 2000s, Wlad beat and fought everyone and the only guy on this list to beat him was Brewster in a fight where Lamon just basically refused to go away. Wladimir has over Ibragimov, Chagaev, Peter, Byrd twice and Brewster in a rematch. I don't think he would've beaten Lennox Lewis but he would've probably wiped the floor with anybody else on this list and that includes Vitali if only because Vitali was in various stages of broken for most of the early 2000s and once they reached the end of the decade, Wlad's athleticism was so much far beyond anybody else in this division. You don't have to like it (and I don't blame you if ya don't!) but Wlad's one of the greatest HWs ever and the best of the 2000s.

2- Vitali Klitschko Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 12-2 Record in title fights- 6-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 1-2

I'm totally fine if you have Lennox Lewis OVER Vitali Klitschko in your top 10 rankings. It's a justifiable and fair enough argument to be clear. I'm putting Vitali over Lennox because even with a little under four year long break, Vitali fought more and in a way Vitali fought the best of both worlds. He fought the dying days of the late 90s HW explosion and then came back and fought at the end of the Klitschko legacy era. Vitali's wins are actually not that impressive in theory as Sam Peter is not as highly regarded as I would have him and his second best win after that is either crude South African banger Corrie Sanders or then undefeated HW Chris Arreola. Guys like Danny Williams, Vaughan Bean, Ross Purrity, Orlin Norris and Larry Donald are good wins to have but any credible top 10 HW for his era should handle those guys well. Vitali Klitschko's resume might've looked even better had he stuck around for those three years and either gotten his Lewis rematch (which I truly believe he would've lost) or just beaten up on the John Ruiz, James Toney, Hasim Rahman and Andrew Golota's of the world. He's my #2 HW of the 00s.

3- Lennox Lewis Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 6-1 Record in title fights- 6-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-1

The ONLY reason Lennox Lewis is SO low on this list is because he wasn't around for much of it. Lewis retired in 2003 after a controversial fight against Vitali Klitschko and....I honestly think the Klitschko fight is really overblown to the legacy of Lennox Lewis. It's often hyped up as Lewis retiring after a really tough fight because he knew he couldn't beat Vitali or what have you but in truth, Lewis was well on his way to stopping Vitali anyways before the cuts. Furthermore Lewis was fat and happy and had pretty much retired before the fight even began anyways. The only thing that stopped Lennox from pretty much wiping out the rest of the HW division for much of the 2000s was that Lewis made his money and didn't want to have some B-Hop esque run where he beat up on limited competition well into his 40s. Lewis' 2000s run features Frans Botha, the corpse of Mike Tyson, Vitali and David Tua. An argument can be made that if Lewis doesn't get smelted by Rahman (a win he'd eventually get back), he could be arguably one of the top 3 heavyweights ever.

4- Chris Byrd Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 11-4-1 Record in title fights- 5-2-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 1-2

The general argument I have (or feel I have) is that once you get outside the top 3 HWs, you're sort of open to interpret the top of the HW division however you so wish. Chris Byrd is my #4 HW if only because of his ability to stick around as a slickster boxer who managed to win fights at HW despite having absolutely zero pop in his hands. Hell if anything Bird should be this high just because of how lucky he was (theoretically) throughout his career. He survived close calls against Andrew Golota and Jameel McCline, he managed to not suffer a knockdown at any point in a 12 round fight against eternally hard puncher David Tua, he was getting wiped out on the cards vs Vitali Klitschko and then won the belt because Vitali tore his shoulder. Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good although Chris Byrd was arguably both of those at the same time. Chris Byrd ended the 90s getting smelted by Ike Ibeabuchi and then once the decade turns to the double zeros, Byrd went 8-1-1 with wins over Vitali Klitschko, Evander Holyfield, Jameel McCline, Fres Oquendo and DaVaryll Williamson. His losses in the 2000s were to Wladimir Klitschko twice, Alexander Povetkin and Shaun George at the very end of Byrd's run. He's my #4 HW.

5- Sam Peter Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 33-3 Record in title fights- 5-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-2

Sam Peter is actually a pretty damn cool success story. While he became a meme on boxing sites, Peter went from being a poor kid growing up in Nigeria to a HW champ of the world despite his many limitations. Maybe Peter was just a beneficiary of a vacantly empty heavyweight division but that's also unfair to him given the work he put in to even get to that point. Peter fought both Klitschko brothers, James Toney twice, the underrated Jameel McCline and veteran HW Oleg Maskaev and racked up a 4-2 record throughout that time. Peter wasn't the most talented dude but he was tough, gritty and hit really damn hard. Two of his losses during this era were to the Klitschkos so that accounts for something. WHONEX indeed.

6- Lamon Brewster Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 13-4 Record in title fights- 4-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 1-1

Maybe it's not a great sign for the HW division that Lamon Brewster is up this high. Actually I think it's fair to wonder how good Lamon Brewster could've been had he not suffered a torn retinae against Sergei Liakhovich in one of his last real "big" fights. Brewster wasn't the most naturally gifted boxer but he hit really hard, had enough cardio to go hard in fights and was the sort of dude who could get anybody out early. Until Tyson Fury's masterclass, the last guy to beat Wladimir Klitschko was Lamon Brewster in a rock 'em sock 'em sort of fight where he was getting beat up early and then rallied to drop Wladimir en route to a stoppage victory. Brewster hurt his eye really badly against Sergei Liakhovich and was never the same afterwards, basically ending his relevancy before he had even hit his mid 30s. The Liakhovich fight by the way is one of the gnarlier HW fights you'll see and sort of gets lost in the shuffle given how dismal the division was during this time period.

7- James Toney Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 13-2-1 Record in title fights- 1-0-1 (1) Record against other fighters on the list- 0-2-1 (1)

Let's be fair now. James Toney doesn't belong on this list because he probably should've never been a heavyweight. It's never a good sign when Jim Lampley refers to you as a "Fat tub of goo" before your first title fight in the weight class but alas. Toney started the 2000s off beating Visiliy Jirov in one of the greatest fights ever and then jumped all the way up to HW to face Don King's batch of merry men at the top. As such Toney fought Holyfield (and beat him decisively), Rahman twice (and I thought he lost one and would've won the other if not for a headbutt) and John Ruiz in a fight he won decisively but popped for steroids of all things. Toney's resume has a lot of fluff in it at heavyweight (HAR HAR) but the fact he was still able to be competitive despite probably being at most a cruiserweight is pretty awesome. Toney vs Sam Peter I is also one of the best fights of the 2000s if you want to see an underrated HW banger.

8- Ruslan Chagaev Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 23-1-1 Record in title fights- 3-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 0-1

So funny story but Ruslan Chagaev was a big reason why I got back into the HW division. Watching him mid afternoon on Fox Sports upset generally bad Nikolai Valuev made me want to watch the heavyweights again, primarily because it meant in theory that I didn't have to read about how Valuev had stolen yet another fight in Germany. Chagaev's career is pretty much married with injuries and stop starts as torn ACLs, hepatitis (!) and other medical ailments led to him fighting on again off again later into the 2000s. Chagaev wasn't the most skilled HW out there but it's fair to wonder how much better (or worse) his resume would've been had he stayed healthy enough to fight guys like Lamon Brewster, Sultan Ibrabimov and Wladimir Klitschko far earlier in his run. I thought he cleanly beat guys like Valuev and Vladimir Virchys but I also thought Chagaev lost to John Ruiz for whatever it's worth.

9- Hasim Rahman Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 13-5-2 Record in title fights- 2-4-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 1-3

I don't have a great way to say this but basically it was never a good thing in the 2000s when you the likes of Hasim Rahman, John Ruiz, James Toney and Andrew Golota in a title fight. It usually meant you were about to be robbed of your time or your money with either a shitty fight or a quick stoppage. Hasim Rahman dominated the early 2000s in terms of title fights and title opportunities and our reward for that was a lot of weird bad fights and "What the fuck?" isms. So how did Rahman make the list? Partially because "The Rock" fought everybody and anybody and did well enough in almost all of those fights. To his credit, Rahman's record also has some victimhood in it. I thought he beat David Tua (and was robbed of a knockdown) when the judges gave him a draw and I thought likewise against James Toney (I had it 7-5 Rahman) but he once again got a draw. Who knows if he would've beaten Evander Holyfield if Holyfield didn't basically headbutt him to death in their fight. He beat respected dudes like Kali Meehan, Corrie Sanders and Monte Barrett during this time period. The biggest reason he's on this list? The KO win over Lennox Lewis. Even if Lewis eventually rectified that, it happened and Rahman's one of two guys to finish Lennox Lewis. That helps push him up on the top 10 list.

10- Sultan Ibragimov Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 22-1-1 Record in title fights- 2-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 0-1

If this was strictly about skills, Sultan Ibragimov would be ranked so much higher. Ibragimov was genuinely great and adapted his style from a stay busy all activity fighter to a more defensive oriented counter striker with quick hands. He, like most heavyweights of this era, just lacked the power to put folks away and lacked any semblance of urgency. Ibragimov rose up the ranks quickly and wins over 90s names like Shannon Briggs and Evander Holyfield put him on this list. The reason Ibragimov isn't ranked higher? That god damn Klitschko fight. Arguably the worst heavyweight fight ever, Ibragimov basically threw jabs for the first six rounds and then nothing beyond that. It pretty much killed Wlad as an attraction in the United States and dude didn't return to the Garden for seven years.

#Boxing #HWs #Lists #Lists N Stuff #Klitschko #Peter #Toney #Rahman #Brock #Chambers #Valuev #Ibragimov #Chagaev

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