#but i just felt it a lot
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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welcome to the world
#crowcraft#dc#kon el#superboy#so many ideas for the tube exit#I KNOW this isn’t how it happened but let me have this. I have things I think about and art is how I get them out before they eat me#this one’s about the moments of dazed confusion. he’d never even felt AIR before do you ever think about that. I think about that all the t#how strange would it be to Know so many things without having experienced them#the few seconds of disconnect here. his brain is firing all his knowledge and a startup ‘hello world’ sequence#but he’s never FELT. ANYTHING before#conner kent#so many strange sensations before it clicks as a ‘huh. so this is air. this is breathing this is thinking this is seeing hearing smelling-‘#ETC. sure babies do this but babies can’t remember shit#IDKK. I JUST THINK AHOUT IT A LOT
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Happy one year anniversary to In Stars and Time!
#ISAT#in stars and time#siffrin#loop#I truly mean it when I say that this was the best game I have played since Disco Elysium.#It pulls off some of the best examples of Ludonarritive Harmony in a video game...possibly ever?#Not to mention just...wow. What a great story. What a tale of twists and introspection. What a tale about the need for home and connection#I know many of you have trusted me before with media recommendations. Trust me one more time.#Do you want to experience the torment of being in a timeloop? And *still* have fun and feel like your time is being respected?#PLAY IN STARS AND TIME!#Do you yearn for complex characters and love unravelling mysteries? PLAY IN STARS AND TIME!!!!#Please heed the content warnings; I took them a little too lightly on my playthrough! They are there for a reason! Don't be like me!#This game means a lot to me and so many others. On the small chance the dev sees this (they are on tumblr after all):#Thank you so much for all your hard work in creating this game and seeing the project through.#It has been a year for us fans but many years for you. So thank you!#I hope it has been a joyful year for you! Watching as people descend into shrieks of agony from playing your game.#It's good! It made me vomit blood. I had so much fun! I felt like I was torturing the protagonist when I played it. I loved it! I cried.
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charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️
#WOW WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT THEYD BE MY FAVORITES. THIS TOTALLY WASNT EXPECTED. NOT AT ALL.#i have lots of persona art its just uncolored dw#doing the shujin trio next i miss them so bad☹️☹️ also i need pegoryu content to stay sane and alive#anyway they're like. actually fucking insane 💀💀💀💀#like lawlight level toxic yaoi its so absurd#like i was like damn soukoku is intense WHO ARE THESE FREAKS#WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY LIKE THIS.#ACTUALLY FUCKING INSANE. LIKE EXTREMELY MENTAL AND SICK IN THE HEAD.#AKECHI IS A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH#god they actually make me so fucking AUAUAUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH#i NEED to finish royal shidos palace GUTTED ME#they were initially so funny to me bc right off the bat you can tell how much of a FREAK akechi is just paraphrasing hegel#and being so ferevently obsessed with ren its like bro why is this guy straightup dickriding us for telling him we like our eggs well done#ANYWAY their dynamic always felt so sad to me bc it was akechi just desperately clawing for what ren had the entire time ☹️#and the more he realized how worthless he was in comparison the more mentally unhinged he became until he actually broke#me when the trope is “the love was there but it wasn't enough to save them” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (FUCKING DEVASTATING)#ermmm anyway yea they're neat. ig#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#goro akechi#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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whatever. go, my dandlers...
FINALLY SOME ART FOR AN AU IVE BEEN WORKING ON!!!!! YIPEEEEEE!!!!!!!! So tl;dr Twisted Modes like an alternate game mode designed to be a form of 'hard mode', where the play styles for each toon have been muddied or completely changed to offer a completely different experience for players. The premise is that the toons are like a remnant of previous games, its based upon the clone theory so each individual toon has their own story and lore separate from the others (though there are exceptions for a few characters!). Also the AU is written in a way that's meant to semi-emulate the game itself which is why the stats and alternate abilities are listed, expect more gameplay aspects to be given in the future bc i love coming up with gameplay mechanics 😈
The chars here aren't all of the ones planned btw I wanna make another sheet when I can, feel free to ask questions tho ill be happy to answer ^^ pleasepleasepleasepleaseplea
#dandys world#dandy's world#dandys world au#Twisted Mode AU#dandys world vee#dandys world shrimpo#dandys world toodles#dandys world shelly#dandys world cosmo#my art#expect a lot more twisted mode auposting im so normal abt this au guys#tw ichor#does that need a tw? shrug#tw body horror#oh btw just wanna clarify the infected titles are purely to distinguish them from regular toons#a lot of them are infected w ichor in some way but some of them like cosmo very much arent so i felt the need to clarify while im here
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Edwin after the confession is a menace
Bonus Charles being normal about it:
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#payneland#edwin x charles#dead boy detectives#dbda#give a man a warning Edwin smh#what is he doing anyway? is it on purpose? he just can't help himself now thta he accepted his feelings? he just likes saying it?#not even he know methinks#honestly charles should hear how loved he is often#i think edwin would agree#also I think it would be funny if they had to deal with a specific kind of creature at least once a year#i picked the church grim because there truly are a lot of stories about them#and it felt fitting
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I felt like i needed to express this thing i noticed again in another form
#og post#my art#look away spout#Ace Attorney#AA#The Great Ace Attorney#TGAA#Dai Gyakuten Saiban#DGS#herlock sholmes#yujin mikotoba#homumiko#susato mikotoba#ryunosuke naruhodo#yaoi#shipping#1k#dgs spoilers#tgaa spoilers#dgs2 spoilers#tgaa2 spoilers#tgaac spoilers#btw this comic's style in regards to color and the panels is heavily influenced by the way soaptacularart does her comics#especially “the girls” group chat one (which is like the only one to use halftones) bc i like it a lot#i am always always always thinking about that comic#actually im gonna rb it again right now everyone go look at it#the dialogue in this beguiled me though it felt not quite right but i just accepted it in the end
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It's essential to teach them color theory when they're young so they understand how to mix colors. How else will you get art that's good enough for the fridge?
Day 6 of DCA Promptober - hues plus bonus animation of Sun imitating the Mac's wait cursor aka the Spinning Beach Ball of Doom
#loaf art#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun#sundrop#dcatober24#sometimes sacrifices have to be made in the name of ART - this is what I'm telling myself in regards to Sun painting the rays#Finally got this done! And it's only... 51 days late. It's fine it's fine#Thanks to everybody in the dfpu chat who helped me come up with stuff to doodle for the border. It was a big help and a lot of fun!#we really did recreate what is going on in the drawing!#also thanks to snails muffin and terror for the animation pointers & terminology#Smear frames were def the way to go! Not whatever I was trying to do before asking for help#I guess this counts as my first *real* animation so hooray!#I *might* use some of the remaining prompts for future drawings but at this point I have other things I want to work on#even though I was only able to finish a few of these I felt like I still learned a lot#it definitely got me into the habit of drawing every day#and I'm still doing that so this event was a big win in my book!#and no joke I really did color pick from the load cursor just so I could do the silly spinning thing
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Man, too bad we never got this deleted splatfest theme before final fest
I’d probably choose team divine, and I’m not even a big shiver fan!
#jinx’s art#splatoon#splatoon fanart#splatoon 3#splatfest#final fest#tw unreality#< just in case#I know the splatoon 3 splatfests have a diff art style but I like the splatoon 2 ones a lot and I felt like I could actually draw them#The divine corrupts#the flesh putrefies#the machine rusts#rot consumes all
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warmth.
a comic about not being alone.
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creative notes:
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all my other comics
store
#to all the trans men and women and anyone who feels like they have to stifle themselves for their own safety#may you never feel like youre alone in this#this comic is one of my more grounded ones#it just felt right to not try to decorate this one in a lot of symbolic fanfare#sometimes i have to go above and beyond to fit the vision. this felt right being pretty understated.#i really did my best with this one and i hope it shows#you all deserve so much joy and so much love from your partners in life#and i hope you like this and if you dont thats okay too#thats all#thank you for your support#and as always#thank you for reading#comic art#lgbtqia+#queer comics#hearteaters#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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i hit 1k followers recently!!!! yipee!!!!!!! thank you all!!! so in celebration here’s all of my completed isat doodle pages, from oldest to newest. go nuts with them!! and maybe don’t look at the first doodle page too closely. it’s Old.
(no greyscale version below for once! just some mushy ramblings. you don’t have to read them don’t worry)
hhhhhha?? so many people. where did you come from. how did you all find me.
ok but seriously, thank you all so much for all the support. i never really. expected to make it this far? like, ever?? i’ve mentioned it a few times on here, but i’ve been a lurker for the past… 2 years, i think? and even before that, i never gained much traction outside of a couple posts. so this has been. very new to me!! in a nice way!! it’s weird to feel like an actual member of a community!! that people know about!
the idea of finally coming back to social media was Daunting (i literally got stress hives writing my first post lol) and the warm reception really. meant a lot?? i don’t think i would’ve ever gotten the courage to come back if i hadn’t been encouraged to by the people over at the isat discord!!
the fact that people actually care about my art still doesn’t feel real?? seeing people take inspiration from my art is just. surreal. just. auagssh. thank you all so so much for everything, i really do appreciate it!!! i’m really glad to be in this community. sorry if this all sounds sappy and long winded i’ve just got a lot of emotions about this whole thing!!
(also as a bonus for reading all this or whatever. here’s a concept page for isatscryption! it felt a little out of place next to my normal canvases so i’m putting it down here! yipee! sorry my notes here are so disjointed auauau…)
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isatscryption#not tagging this as isas since this is mostly unrelated#aaaa sorry for. rambling so long and stuff#i know this is tumblr and follower counts aren’t supposed to mean anything but. i still feel Emotions about it!!#i cant help it!!!#that first doodle page i made is from may btw! these actually line up pretty well with the months#i never got around to posting these because like. i already posted a lot of these drawings on their own? it felt weird#but this is a milestone!! so i can post them if i so desire#also. basically all of the drawings save a few on the first one give me Hives#you can tell i wasn’t used to drawing these designs…#anyways. i keep saying it but thank youall so much????#just. wauauaua.
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once upon a time, there was a player
#statue is based on the statue in the hypixel post about technos memorial#background is based on the farming area in the hypixel lobby - i just took a lot of creative liberties#technoblade#my art#i miss him a lot and ive been meaning to draw something like this for almost a year now but it just never felt right#happy birthday‚ technoblade‚ and thank you
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov#and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyone’s like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all#which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way#that’s gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it#also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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theyre insufferable
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#erik lehnsherr#charles xavier#magneto#professor x#snap sketches#i sketched this before bed but then spent all day drawing it and rendering it and deciding i didnt like it wholly rendered !!!!!!!#so minimal lighting it is. even then idk if im happy but im happy enough with it#this was simply inspired by the fact i have decided 'charles' is erik's favorite word and he definitely slurs it a lot when drunk#i would like to make a cutesy comic with that in mind ...... for now we'll just take this cozy thing#forcing myself to post this so i dont stress bout small thigns i dont like cause this was just suposed to be a qucik warm up !!!!!!#ik people often compliment my bright colors so it felt strange tryna mellow it out for this … i like it tho ..#i should try it more… dkdODJSK
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had an identity crisis, prime time for a slight sona redesign!
it's cow! (again!)
+ a closeup because i'm really proud of the eyes
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#i felt really extremely disconnected from cow and was like welp. time to make new fursonas#and made like four drafts before drawing cow with short hair and going 'oh.'#i ...... just need a hair cut. so i gave my fursona a haircut while i'm waiting to go#fucking. SADGE that im redesigning it so soon after its last ref but#shrugs#i do not control the heightened emotions about fursona and what it means to me#also there's a lot of experiments in this piece!! new brushes new coloring techniques new style of ref#loooots and lots of alts over on my ponytreon#my art#furry#fursona#anthro#oc#cow#cattle#oc: cow#bovine#ref#ref sheet#reference#i tried like...7 other palettes before just taking the old one and tweaking it and now i rllllllllly like it :03#i just needed less pastels/contrast and more soft/desaturated tones...who woulda thunk#(it's everyone. everyone wouldve thunk. i <3 desaturated tan tones)
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