#but i just can’t do it i’m so fucking stressed just looking at it all

[starlighttsv]

Can you do Pazzi as moms where there daughter is a little bit older and she gets bad grades and Paige and azzi help her

Bad News - Pazzi’s daughter

Sum: Saylor gets bad grades and her teacher calls Azzi

Warnings: based in 2044, a curse word lmao

Notes: was I daydreaming or something? Why is this all over the place? 😵‍💫 I didn’t go into to much detail about p & a helping her bc I didn’t really know what else to put so sorry about that.

Wc: 1.2k

Pair: pazzi x daughter!oc

Saylor’s Masterlist

“Hi is this Azzi Fudd?” A girl says over the phone “Yes, and who is this?” Azzi responds back “I’m Mrs. Smith, one of your daughters teachers. Um im calling because Saylor is failing my class and two others. We have tried to help her but it doesn’t seem to be working. She failed her test for my class yesterday and it’s not looking good for the tests in the other two classes either.” Mrs. Smith says over the phone

“What? That’s not like Saylor, she normally does really good in school.” Azzi replies confused “Thats what me and her other teachers have been talking about. We didn’t know if maybe there was something going on at home to make her not be concentrating, or maybe her friend group?”

“No, No there’s nothing going on at home. As for her friend group I don’t really know. I’ll talk to her other mom and we will try to figure it out, thank you for calling” Azzi says to mrs. smith with both of them saying byes then hanging up

Azzi sighs pulling the phone from her ear and going to Paige’s contact- not knowing if she’s gonna answer or not because Paige was at a photo shoot

“Hey Az, what’s up?” Paige says over the phone after picking up on the 2nd ring “are you busy?” Azzi asks “nah, I just left the photo shoot figured I would stop at the store and get stuff for dinner and then maybe bring home some lunch? You good with chipotle or you want something else?” Paige asks

“Chipotle is fine, but um I just got a call from one of Saylors teachers” Azzi says to Paige, “What? Is Saylor ok? Do I need to go get her from school?”

“No. No, she’s fine but she’s failing some of her classes and her teachers are worried somethings going on at home or with her friends” Azzi says while packing her duffel and starting to walk to her car

“Well nothings going on at home and she should only be talking to her friends at school. She’s still grounded. So I don’t know what could possibly be happening in her friend group at school for her to be failing multiple classes. Hey I’m gonna FaceTime you I’m about to start driving”

Azzi doesn’t answer and just waits for the FaceTime call, accepting it when it appears on her phone “maybe it’s the grounding?” Azzi says confused while watching Paige start driving and turn onto the main road

“If it is the grounding she needs to get over it immediately. She knew she wasn’t gonna get away with sneaking out, we would have found out eventually. We need to just sit her down and make her talk to us-“ Paige starts but Azzi cuts in “but that’s easier said than done”

“Exactly!” Paige starts “FUCK! What is happening with her? Is it us? Did we do something to make her start acting out? Do we need to get her like a therapist or something?” Paige stresses

Azzi has already started making her way home while Paige was going to the store. “I don’t think we’ve done anything. She started acting out like 2 years ago-“

“When we had her transfer schools.” Paige cuts in “Do you think that’s it? She’s mad at us for her transferring so she’s punishing us by acting out?” Azzi says pulling into the garage and sitting in the car

“I can’t think of anything else, can you?” Paige asks still driving to get to the store

“No, not really.” Azzi sighs “I just want our daughter back to her normal self. It’s like she’s possessed by something.” Azzi now stresses

“I get it mama, I do. I want her back too but I don’t know, maybe we do family therapy?” Paige asks pulling into a parking spot at the store and grabbing her phone from the phone holder on the dashboard

“Couldn’t hurt” Azzi says pinching the bridge of her nose “I’ll let you go I can see you just pulled into the store. Im probably gonna go take a shower and then start cleaning, let me know what you decide for dinner yeah?”

“You go it. I love you” Paige responds

“I love you too”

After a few hours of Paige and Azzi hanging out and watching movies, Saylor finally gets home and walks through the door

“Hey baby come in the living room for a few please” azzi says out to Saylor who was a few rooms away literally just walking through the door

“Give me a sec mom” Saylor shouts taking off her shoes by the front door and setting her backpack by them. Saylor grabs the emergency phone and then walks to the living room, tossing it onto the cushion next to Azzi

“What do I have to be in here for?” Saylor asks “here take a seat” azzi says pointing to the love seat across from Paige and Azzi, making Saylor look at her confused but doing it anyway

“Your teacher called, saying that your failing a few different classes” azzi started “We have to ask, are you actually struggling or are you just faking it as a way to get back at us for grounding you? Cause we can help you if you’re actually struggling or we can pay someone to tutor you but we’re not gonna do that if you’re just trying to get back at us.” Paige finishes for Azzi

Saylor just stays quiet with her head down looking at her hands making Paige and Azzi look at each other before Paige starts speaking again. “Saylor. Do you need help with school?” Paige says with a soft voice Saylor just keeps looking at her hands “bug?” Paige says still with a soft voice

Saylor takes a second before nodding her head slowly “you do need help?” Azzi asks making Saylor shake her head again

Paige and Azzi both get up and sit on either side of Saylor both hugging her “that’s all you had to say Saylor, you didn’t have to go through all that homework and tests knowing you were gonna fail. We would’ve helped you” Azzi says with her lips pressed against Saylors temple

Saylor just leans into both of them “hey, what are you struggling with?” Paige says softly

“Math, science, and history” Saylor mumbles out “well we can help you with those. Unless you want a tutor? Your choice” Paige says kissing Saylors temple while Azzi’s rubbing her back

Saylor just cuddles closer to Paige’s chest making her laugh “was that your answer?” She says amusingly making Saylor have a small smile on her face while nodding

“Alright” Azzi says giving Saylor another kiss on her forehead before standing up “you wanna help me with dinner and then after we can take a look at your homework? Maybe we can make some cookies too.”

Saylor looks up with her head still placed on Paige’s chest, and nods making Paige stand up and then pull Saylor up to her feet. “Cmon let’s go make dinner, I’m hungry” Paige says pulling Saylor and Azzi to the kitchen making both of them laugh but follow her anyways.

That’s how the Bueckers family spent the rest of their evening. Cooking dinner, baking cookies, and doing homework.

@melpthatsme

[xxmooxmooxx]

irritable. ~ s.r. x fem reader.

MDNI 18+ ONLY

- told from spencer’s pov

prompt: Spencer accidentally sees y/n secret nsfw twt account and is struggling dealing with working along side her now.

warnings: angry Spence, nsfwtwt, mentions of sex, sex toys, perv! Spencer if you squint your eyes, age gap, lmk if im missing anything :)

a/n: BLURB! not a v long story. my first Spencer fic AND my first time writing smut. NOW reader and Spencer don’t hookup in this but it’s talked about quite a bit so proceed with caution loves. gimme feed back pls!!!! Lmk if you’d want a pt 2!!!

“i can't fucking do this, y/n. We have a lot of work left to do on this case.” I say getting out of my seat and walking towards the office door. It’s just too much right now. We’ve gotten nowhere close to finding this god awful unsub. Then here is y/n smelling like cocoanut and vanilla. Looking at me… no searching my eyes for answers I don’t have. And her hair? God. It’s down. Unlike most days where she wears it pulled back.

“Spencer! What the fuck? You told me if i needed to confied or talk to someone to go to you? If thats no longer okay then just tell me. You don’t have to talk to me like this.” She says getting out of their chair and stepping in my path to the door.

Shes right. I am being a complete an total ass right now. It’s not her fault. When she started last year I did tell her to come to me and she has taken me up on that offer lots of times and I've never minded it. I don't mind it. At Least I didn’t before… I look down defeated and sigh before looking at her. “You’re right. I apologize. Please, excuse me.” I take a step to the door.

“Reid…” She grabbed my arm looking up at me. “Please. What’s going on?”

I jerked off and came multiple times to your secret twitter account, y/n. I have your body engraved into my brain. I know exactly what i’d have to do, where to touch, how to touch, where to lick and suck now from watching the videos of you playing with yourself. I cant look at you let alone work with you, without wanting to take you into an empty office and showing you all the many things about your perfect fucking body I have learned and memorize. God even now during this stressful case all I can think of is fucking you so hard over this table that you cant remember what you came in here to ask for in the first place. But I can’t say that.

“I’m… fine. Okay? Many daily things in our lives especially in this field can cause irritability, for example: we’ve been on this case for 48 hours, we’ve gotten nowhere close to a profile, no idea how to stop this unsub, exactly how many victims he has so far, which means there's gonna be more innocent people dying. So, if I'm irritable that may be the reason. Now if you excuse me i need to go look the files we found on Amy Cassandra and Olivia Hidmen.” And with that, she let me go and I made my way out.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a long week we are finally back home. I avoided y/n as much as I could which is the only way to deal with this until I can figure out how to move on. Then of course… once we get home going out to “split” the teams favorite local bar was suggested. We all agreed to meet up in an hour, giving ourselves time to go home and get ready.

I was sitting at our usual table with Derek and Emily when y/n walked in talking with Hotch. Fuck. me. She was wearing a short, silk, black dress that was hugging her body perfectly. Her hair was down framing her face perfectly and she was wearing her glasses. Last time i saw her glasses, they were on her bed side table in the background of the video she posted, showing off her new toys a sex toy company sent her. My thoughts are interrupted by her looking at me. I can't. I turn to Emily and Derek asking to be excused before walking past y/n and out the bars glass doors.

She’s your coworker, spencer. Not only is she a coworker, shes damn near 10 years younger than you, sees you as a mentor, and trusts you. What the fuck have I done.

“Reid!” i hear yelled from behind me.

No no no no… I turn to see her jogging towards me.

“y/n please go back inside.”

“No.”

“y/n…”

“Spencer, please stop.”

“No. y/n. You. please stop. Leave me alone and go back inside with the others…” I turn to walk away. After a few paces I hear:

“I saw.”

I pause in my tracks. Looking down at my feet. I’m fucked. I take a deep breath before turning and walking back to her. “You saw what?” I say looking down at her. My voice coming out deeper than intended.

“You liking and unliking one of my post on twitter.” She says softly and almost unsure.

I dont break eye contact. I’m frozen. What am i suppose to say to that?

“Spencer, please don’t tell anyone. I’m-”

I shake my head. “I wasn’t planning on talking to anyone about this.”

“Oh… okay…” A few more moments of silence. “I’m really really fucking sorry you saw that, no one i know in person was ever meant to see it. I just do it for fun and…”

‘I cant be having this conversation right now.’ i think to myself as she continues to ramble. “y/n. Stop.”

“... i know youre probably mortified…” she continues.

“Stop.”

“... I just dont wanna lose you-”

“y/n!’ I say louder than intended as i grab her shoulders trying to get her to listen to me. Shes staring wide eyed at me, silent. I losen my grip and lead her to a near by empty stairwell. I let her go and brush her hair off her shoulders and try to straighten the straps of her dress that was underneath my hands.

“Now…” i start calmly. I see her relax more and start looking at me with curiosity. “y/n, you have no reason to be apologoizing to me. You-” i stop myself to think before i let more rambling come out of my mouth. “I should be the one apologizing to you.” I say taking a step back attempting to give her some space.

“For what?” She asked genuinely.

“For invading your privacy. I saw your account and I was intrigued then after a few moments of analizing i realized it was you. I shouldve clicked away immediately but I didn’t, I kept scrolling and looking and I’m so sorry, y/n. You’re an amazing person, agent, and friend and I’m someone you trusted and i-”

“Did you like them?” she asked bluntly looking up at me.

Spencer. Stop. you cannot entertain this.

“Yes.” I answered searching her eyes for any signs of regret or disgust.

None to be found.

She takes a step closer to me making our hight difference extremely noticeable. “Spencer,” she started softly. The sound of my name on her lips going straight to my cock. “Did you touch yourself to me?”

“I did.”

She searches my face almost the same way i did hers moments ago before she yanks me into her by my tie our lips meeting and her pulling away before I could even register what happened. I look at her as if asking if she's sure she wants this before we quickly grab each other crashing our lips together again. Our bodies moving together and our mouths hungry.

“Fuck, I need you closer.” I moan into our kiss before softly pushing her against the wall of the stairwell. My hands roaming her body until they find their way to her beautiful thighs. I yank one of her legs up by her knee taking the opportunity to get my body closer to her. I can feel her hot core against my aching cock. My hands now resting on her ass and I leave kisses along her neck.

“Fuck, I’ve wanted you to touch me like this for so long, Spencer.” She moans softly into my hair.

“Is that so?” I ask, looking up at her as I slowly drop down to my knees.

“Oh my god.” She whispers as she realizes my intentions for getting down here.

‘She’s definitely gonna believe in a god when i'm done with her.’ I think to myself as I start leaving kisses along her thighs.

“Y/n??”

We jump at Penelope’s voice we hear from around the corner. FUCK.

I immediately get back up and look at her attempting to straighten her dress and hair up. “We’re just having a conversation. Okay?” I whisper to her searching her eyes trying to keep her calm

“Okay.” She whispers back.

I nod as I take a seat on the steps crossing my arms over my knees in an attempt to hide my boner from Penelope.

“Oh my god! There you two are!” Penelope said relieved once she saw us. “Is everything okay with my two favorite nerds?”

“Yeah, just kinda debriefing the past week. It was a lot for me.” Y/n spoke up.

“Awwww okay pumpkin. If you need to take time to yourself it’s okay, everyone would understand.” She said as she pulled y/n into a hug.

“Yeah that’s probably what i'm gonna do. I need to decompress.” Y/n says in response, hugging our friend back.

“Okay baby cakes.” Garcia responded by pulling away. “What about you, my handsome wonder boy? You okay?”

“Yeah i'm good. Just got a bit overwhelmed. I’ll probably head home as well.” I say in response looking up at her from my seat on the stairs.

“Okay then my loves. I’ll go let them know.” She says as she starts to back up. “Reid, be a gentleman and make sure our sweet y/n gets home safe.” She turns and sends a winks to y/n before turning and making her way back to the bar.

“You um… maybe wanna come over and talk about everything?” I ask looking back to the beautiful woman I had in my arms moments ago.

“I would like that.”

[thehypnone]

How about Swissalps the first time Mountain barges into Swiss's dressing room on tour unannounced?

“Five to showtime!” somebody yells on the other side of the corridor, making Mountain swear under his breath. He’s a ghoul who likes order, which is an unfortunate quality considering the default chaos of his pack.

He’s got nearly everyone lined up and waiting for their que to go on stage—nearly, because the new multi ghoul is nowhere to be seen. Mountain could’ve known, but that does not alleviate his uneasiness in the slightest.

He rolls his eyes and storms down towards the dressing rooms, intending to quite literally drag Swiss out of his, no matter the state he’s in.

Mountain does make sure twice that he’s standing in front of the correct door before barging in unannounced. He lets out a sigh of disappointment at what he encounters inside.

“What on earth are you doing?” he asks. “We need to be on stage in less than five minutes.”

“I’m–uh,” Swiss grunts from his spot against the vanity, his hand flying up and down his cock at a pace that doesn’t look comfortable in the slightest, “stress jerking.”

“What?” Mountain scoffs.

“You know like–people obsessively bake when they’re stressed? Stress baking?”

“Yes, but–”

“Yeah and I am stress–fuck–jerking,” the multi ghoul explains, chuckling nervously. A quiet moan breaks its way out through his teeth before frustration creases his brows, “but I can’t get there.”

Mountain hums in acknowledgement, considering. He understands—he’s been where Swiss is. He looks properly distressed and he’s at a point where he can’t just tuck himself back into his pants and go on stage like nothing happened, so… “Do you need a hand?”

The multi ghoul freezes and the jaw that he’s been clenching drops.

“Yes, I want to help,” Mountain confirms casually, as if it’s nothing unusual. That’s because it is—not among a pack of ghouls—but Swiss is new and it shows. “We don’t have much time. Do you want me to help?”

“Y–you want…like, uhm–hand…huh?” he sputters, squeezing the base of his cock. He could not lie and say he doesn’t find Mountain painfully attractive and that the earth ghoul hasn’t been a character frequently appearing in his fantasies.

The multi ghoul nods; somewhat embarrassed, but desperate. Mountain crosses the room in two strides and wraps his hand around Swiss’ cock with not much preamble.

“Shit, that’s good,” he groans, gripping the edge of the counter he’s leaning against.

“Hm,” Mountain hums and gets to work; there really is no time to be wasted. He notes Swiss isn’t even fully hard, but he thinks he knows exactly what’s gonna do it. The earth ghoul rumbles low in his chest and rests his free hand on the wall, leaning in to crowd Swiss in.

And indeed, his cock kicks and fills out some more in Mountain’s grip.

He keeps staring down at him through the eye holes of his chrome mask, forcing the flustered multi ghoul to keep eye contact. Swiss does not want to admit how fast it gets him close.

“Oh, oh, FUUUCK,” the multi ghoul moans wantonly when Mountain pushes him over the edge. He throws his head back against the mirror of the vanity and spills all over the other’s hand, panting. “Lord have mercy…”

Mountain can’t help but smirk as he pulls away and heads towards the dressing room’s sink. “Now get dressed and let’s go do our jobs.”

“Thanks…” Swiss mumbles, shame washing over him again.

“Don’t mention it,” the earth ghoul shrugs, “but next time do tell me earlier if you’re stressed. I can do way better with more time.”

[maenoakasuna]

{ All For Us Part II } Part I

Hello and Welcome to the part Two of All for Us ! I'm so happy this little story seem to please people. I still don't really know How to describe in the good way what this story will be, but so far I thing something like ; Toxic relation and healing process are good terms for it.

I hope you will enjoy this part as much as you enjoyed the firts part. My only negativ recap from this part is ; Im sorry for the ending I feel like I rushed it and also sorry for the lac of word or expression. If someone want to help me or correct something or even help me rewrith some parts hit me Up. I will not say No if it can make it better.

TW : Mention of drug, smut without Smut ( Started but never ended) Toxic relation, cheating

Tags : @private-vampire @rafesbunniebby

When you came back in the main Room, you return to the bed you awaken and sit on it. Your arms was wrapped around your legs as you try to breath to not start to cry. You wasn’t sure if all you felt was cause of the pregnancy, the stress or just cause you stopped abruptly to take drugs some months ago. Your mind was set to not take it but your body just want to feel high again. Also you would not be again’t not feeling stress Right Now.

You spotted Thano’s purple hair in the crowd as he mad his way to you with another guy before sitting in your bed, in front of you. He’s eyes was locked on you as you try to look like nothing matter, but your wet eyes and slightly trembling body betrayed You.

«-You didn’t seem to feel Alright, flower. »

He gave a Look at his friend, asking him to leave us alone for a moment. When He left, Thanos got closer to you. If you felt better you would have kicked his ass far from you, but you hardly have energy ton control the hurricane of emotions in your body right now.

Thanos put his arms around your shoulders before whispering something in your ear.

«-Maybe you need one of my special treats, for energy. I bring t some with me. -Scram, looser.»

Your voice was low, but the tone was hatfull. Thanos simply turn his head to look at you and raised an eybrow. He knew something was wrong.

«-Y/N … i’m serious. You didn’t seem fine. We already talked about that. If you want to quit drugs you can’t just do it like this. Your body will still crave it and if you refuse him his usual treat, he will make you go feral.»

A small sarcastic smile appear on your face. You Eyes was locked on what happen in the crowd in front of you, ignoring what the other talked about.

«-You mean, like you did ? No. I will not be like you.»

Thanos sight and let go of you to place himself again in front of you to have eyes contact with you.

«-I know i wasn’t the best boyfriend. I know I fucked up, but I swear I didn’t cheated on you. So please, let me help you.»

He get out the cross to his necklace and opened it, After taking care no one was looking at you, and took one little pill and put it your hand. You looked at the small thing with a lot of hesitation. He gave this to you, for free. You could just swallow it and let the anxiety fly away, but it will be an horrible mistake. This could be the death of your child and the win your body crave for. Also a Win for Thanos who think giving you drug is the real and also the best way to help you.

You closed your eyes, took a deep breath as your hand was place one your belly like you tried to protect your child.

«-I can’t.

Your voice was shaky, just like you refuse to take the pill to gave you good conscience but it was just really hard to say no when all you need is that small little thing to make you feel better.

-Excuse-me, what ? What do you mean you can’t ? »

Thanos seems really surprised to ear you say no to this. That was one of your favorite drug before.

Giving him back his pill you opened your eyes and answered with more confidence.

«-I can’t. I don’t want to touch that shit ever again.»

The rapper looked at the pill in your hand and took it back, unsure and still surprised. He was about to say something but was cut by the crowd asking to leave, to do a vote. The guard agreed but first, they showed you and the rest of the alive competitors the amount of money you had collected after one game. If you all take the decision to leave, you will end up with more money than when you arrived but it wasn’t enough to pay your debts, but was it worth risking your life ? 

The vote started with player 456 who voted to go back home. You will pass in the last ones, it give you time to think about what you're gonna do.

You weren't surprised to see Thanos vote to stay.

When it was finally your turn, get up of your bed and walk to the machine, looking at the two buttons and the numbers of vote. It was 50/50

As much as you wish to go home, stay alive and never have to see Thano’s face ever again, the money you will receive from all the people who died in the first game, to had put your life in danger, it wasn’t enough. Not enough to clear you debts or to raise a child. Plus, here you will not find a way to put your hand on drug again. At least if you could leave with a little more money to go in detox, it will be the best. That’s why you choose to stay.

You felt sorry for everyone who wanted to go home, you will maybe choose to leave after the next game.

Before going to bed, you had to go to the bathroom. You didn’t felt so good, all the stress, the blood, the weird smell everywhere gave you nausea and you could hold in anymore. You took the first cabinet and throw up. You wasn’t sure if it was just the pregnancy but for once you had doubts about it, it just didn’t help.

«-I’m sorry… I’m sorry to put you in all this danger. To make you feel all those harsh emotions…»

Still throwing up, you felt tears on your face. You could hold in anything anymore. Everything was too much for a day.

«-One more game… and we are going home. I swear. »

You cried out as you flush the toilet. You let all your negative emotion out until you heard someone knock at your cabin door.

«-I’m sorry, I overheard you and I felt worried. Are you alright there ? -Yeah, wonderful, you answered with a lot of sarcasm, best day of my life.»

You sniffled and whipped your tears before get up of your feets and leaving the cabin. You found yourself face to face with another young girl with the number 222 or her hoodie. She looked at you with some concern. On the other part of her top, you could see a X. She voted to go home and cause of your vote, you denied her that fate. You felt like it was the best decision to stay, but you also felt so much guilt.

«-You talked alone ? She asked you. -Yeah, exactly. »

You are not here to make friends and you dont know her. You will not start to explain all your worries to a perfect stranger.

«-Can I ask you something  ? She asked as you made your way to the sink -You already did but yeah sure. -Why did you choose to Stay ? -Why did you choose to leave ?»

You saw her in the mirror, putting her hand on her belly while she looked at it with a worried look in her eyes.

«-Because I’m pregnant.»

Now you felt more guilty. You was in the same boat in this situation. What a Hellhole, two pregnants womens for one game. As you watch the water flow in your hands, you sigh heavily and close it, still looking at the sink.

«-So Am I. That’s why I chose to stay for at least one other game. I need this money to clear debts and at least go to therapy before I give birth. I don’t want my child to leave like I used to the last two years.»

You opened up so easily and mentally cursed yourself, you knew you shouldn't but you felt better now. Maybe Life put her on your way to show you that you are not alone.

«-How many months ? She asked.-I don’t really Know, for around 2 months. I realized it after I left my boyfriend, almost two months ago.»

She slowly get closer to You as you turn around to face her. You noticed her belly, it was bigger than yours, but with the baggy clothes it’s easy to hide. You should be able to hide it from Thanos without any problems. Your bum his only visible when your remove your cloths or show that part of your body, witch mean ; Never.

«-Why are you here ? You asked Her. -I need money to raise the kid on my own and the father put me in debt. I want a fresh start, but I never thought it would be a deadly games. What about You ? -Not that different from You. Addicted dad, drugs debts for both of us, also other things with an internet guy who scammed him and He lost everything. »

You continued your little chat with player 222 until a guard knocked at the door, asking You to get out. When the lights will turn off you need to be In your bed. 

You both left the bathroom to go back to the main room.

Once In your bed and the lights off, you weren't sleepy at all. You had too much on your mind, starting with Thanos and how you left him. Since you saw him cheating on you, you often have nightmares about that, waking up with the horrible feeling of not being  enough, cause that’s exactly what you felt that day.

Two Months Ago

You were awakened by Thano’s soft kisses on your Body. You could feel every one of them, starting by the corner of your lips, going down on your jaw, your neck, your shoulders. Your skin felt like melting under his lips. You could feel him smile as he continued his way down, kissing your collarbone as his hands found their place on your hips, pressing you against his more than awake boner. Having such an effect on him makes you smile as you open your eyes. The light coming from the big window of his apartment felt like aggression. Your eyes shut again as the headache started to hit. You were probably a little bit hungover from last night. 

When Thanos noticed you were awake, he smiled and slowly slid his hands under the Big t-shirt of his that you borrow every night, claiming it as your pajama.

«-Good morning Beautiful,  he said as he came back to kiss your neck. -Good morning, you answered as you tried again to open your eyes.»

This time, it was easier and the sun didn’t feel like your eyes were melting. You could see the beautiful smile of your boyfriend as his lips joined yours for a passionate kiss. Passing your arms around his neck, you answered the kiss with as much passion as him.

His Hands, still on your hips until now, started moving up to your breast, gently squeezing it . A shiver passed through your body when you felt the cold air on your exposed skin since your T-shirt followed Thanos hands. 

Your boyfriend ended the kiss and he took his time to look at you. Flushed cheeks, heavy breathing, exposed breast  with hard nipple who seem to call for his mouth. 

«-Fuck, baby, your are so beautifull.»

You didn’t know what you could answer. Thanos was one of those men who make you blush with that kind of praise. You liked that and He knew it.

With a Smile, he opened the drawer close to the bed and put out a stack of pills. For a second you thought he would take a condom but his priorities seemed to be for something else.

«-Do you really like that ? You asked, unsure. -Relax beautiful, it will just make the experience better, for both of us. »

He was about to take the pill when you stopped him.

«-Thanos, you don’t need that to make love to me.»

That’s when reality hits you like a car at full speed. You don’t even remember one time, in two years, when you was sober when it came to intimacy.

«-We can do it without, this time.-Why ? We always used to fucked when we was high. Believe my experience, it’s better.»

Fuck, not even making love. All of that made you feel suddenly uncomfortable. Gently, you pushed him from above you and replace you T-shirt to cover your body. All that just turned you off.

«-Is that what it is for you ? We just fuck.  -Fucking, Banging, Hoocked up , making love. All the same. Why is that suddenly such a Big deal ? -I don’t know, I just feel like it’s wrong. We shouldn't have to be high every time we have intimacy.»

Thanos' sight as he got up and took the pill.

«-Fuck off. You turned me off with your princess shit, he said as he left the room to go to the bathroom.»

That day was no fun. You had a great time the other night after his show, you came home late, drunk and probably high and now this. Thanos never liked when people tell him how to act or how he should feel, but you should have this right, at least to make the best out of him, but when you try he just push you away.

You barely talked that day. He had another show at the same bar from yesterday and had to work on some songs, so you let him work in peace. You spent your day in a coffee shop, thinking about what happened this morning, until you realised nothing was right in this relation. You didn’t even remember him telling you he loved you. All he always said was about how good you locked, or how beautiful you was, how much fun he had with you, but never how much he loved you, and somehow that broke your heart.

You could have wait until he came home to talk to him, but you knew He will probably be to tired and too high to have a serious conversation, si you showed up at the bar before he started his show. Making your way to his private room, you was about to enter but you stopped when you heard a feminine voice coming from there. The door was a little bite opened so you could see what was happening there. That’s how you knew. The vision broke your heart more than it already was. 

You saw a random girl sit on the table in the middle of the room and your boyfriend passionately kissing her. You knew Thanos for long enough to know that kind of passion. It was the ‘’ I will fuck you right here and right now ‘’ kind of one. 

You saw enough so you just left with tears in your eyes and even less than a broken heart.

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 59: Look Inside

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

The journey home is a quiet and steady one. The further we sail from England the lighter the weight on my heart becomes. Liam helps to district me with card games. By the time we reach America the sight of New York harbor fills my tired soul with joy. Never did I think I’d be so glad to come home. 

Over the next few months things fall back into place. Moeder, vader, and oma were relieved when I told them I’ll be working in America. Polly, Finn, and Ada keep in touch with letters. Polly writes that Thomas never visits. Lizzie’s frantically trying to talk to him but he doesn’t want to. Arthur and Linda have built a life for themselves. Finn keeps to himself. Their kind words offer comfort but nothing can patch up what’s already happened.

Bonnie also keeps his promise. A letter arrives every week, talking all about his adventures with his father and the Peaky Blinders. In return I write him letters about the different customers I encounter. Sometimes I meet with people in vader’s pub. Other times I give them the courtesy of meeting in their own settlements. But Bonnie always ignores talk of business and always asks to make sure I’m doing okay. I write that I am… I think.

“Verena! Dochter! Please come help me with these crates!”

“Coming, moeder!” I call from my room.

“Auntie! Tante!” Eoin’s youngest daughter Cecilia giggles. “Will you play with me?” 

Since I came back it’s been my job to help entertain Eoin’s kids. It’s a perfect way to let my heart heal, even though I do admit that I wish I was taking care of Charlie again. I wonder how Lizzie’s doing with her pregnancy- 

“Verena! Phone for you!” Oma’s voice echos from downstairs. “Someone named Arthur?”

Oh thank God. If it was Thomas I would completely ignore this. My sweet oma smiles at me as I pitter-patter down the stairs, unaware of my anxious thoughts. What on Earth would Arthur be calling about? If there’s something wrong over there shouldn’t they call Ada in Boston?

“Hello?” I ask uneasily into the phone.

“Hello? Verena? It’s Arthur.”

“Greetings, Arthur. Is there something wrong?”

On the other end I hear him chuckle. “You could say that. Verena, get over here before Tommy kills himself. I’m getting him back to work but he needs you here too.”

He wants me to… What?

Arthur listens to my dead silence and keeps talking. “Please? He’s turned into a fucking Communist!”

Turned into one, or fucking one? First Grace, then the Russian, then Lizzie. Now a Commie? I guess two children aren’t enough. Retirement isn’t possible for Thomas Shelby. He’s moved on this long without me, even after I confessed. What can I go back to now? It's time that I take a look at myself and stop trying so hard.

“I’m sorry, Arthur. But there’s no way I can sail over right now. Give my best to Linda. Tot ziens.”

I hang up before he can answer. Before my healing wounds are ripped open again. In these last years of my young life I feel that I’ve learned the toughest lesson. Being mature, being too aware, comes at a cost. In the spam of your life you think too far ahead. Think about how to fix things you can’t control. Re-evaluate what could have been or what could be. Stress about doing your best to please anyone but yourself. 

And Thomas Shelby will be the key stressor for the rest of my life.

General POV

He was fucked.

Thomas has really backed himself into a ditch now. He just couldn’t help himself.

Yes, he had fucked Lizzie. But he was not thinking of May as she had assumed.

Verena.

The only woman he’s ever tried to abstain from. It takes every fiber of willpower not to claim her heart. To pull her close and kiss her gentle lips.

Maybe he was addicted to sex, maybe he was just trying to feel some form of happiness. But one thing is certain. Verena satisfies everything in him.

When Thomas had first set eyes on her, the short, bright-eyed woman standing in the kitchen, he thought for sure she would be like any other broad. Annoyingly chatty, clingy, and skittery. Lord, was he wrong. 

First Thomas thought he was only confused. Verena never used him for money like other women. Grace played his heart like a fiddle so he assumed his tenderness towards Verena’s gentle Christian spirit was the product of friendship. But once he was married… A part of him still felt empty. 

That time at Arrow House, before she was called away at a time of poor inconvenience, he was so close. So close to asking her. He was torn on the matter. Should an innocent woman like her ever settle for a life with him? After all, he’d been so distrustful at the beginning of her employment. 

But then she was pulled away. Time ate off his hope and he drowned himself with the empty love of whores. When Verena finally came back, Thomas assumed she’d forgotten about him. But no. She is here, still vibrant and caring as before. Charlie couldn’t have been more happy to see her and Thomas secretly shared his son’s joy to see the American woman return. When she caught him in the bath Thomas thought the reaction on her face was the most sexy yet adorable thing he’s ever seen. But aside from looks, Verena still has a certain aura about her. Disciplined yet kind. One that reminds him of his mother. 

But he still hesitated. She really deserves so much better… Hell, Verena was almost caught in a vendetta because of him. She deserves a man far more better. Not someone as fucked up as he is. And then when Thomas saw Bonnie Gold being sweet on her he knew he could never truly forget the grip she has on his heart. If only she knew…

So instead he went back to Lizzie. He dug himself further into a pit of guilt, mending his pride by trying to forget. But the entire time Thomas could only think about how much he wished it was Verena. When Lizzie told him her joyful news, Thomas wanted to die of shame.

That look. That look on Verena’s face…

When he told her.

A look of pain and despair that felt like a slap to the face. It was all his fault. And yet she still held back. Maybe Verena doesn’t really love him as he’d hoped? Verena distributes her kindness to everyone. An angel amongst gangsters. Maybe he mistook her gestures to be exclusively for him?

But Thomas can’t go back now. Even if Verena held any love for him she certainly won’t now. Thomas will have to bite the bullet and let her go. He was selfish to think a sinful man like him could ever be blessed to have an innocent woman like her. In truth, Verena never owed anything to the Shelbys. Thomas owes her the best he can offer, which is a life without him. Perhaps her absence will help to hide the pain from his cold heart.

After all these years Verena still carries a smile for him… Even if it’s forced. There’s no other way for Thomas to describe his situation.

He is completely fucked.

@meadows5

[k3nz1ekorn]

Jayvik Actor au- Karaoke confessions pt.1

Character cheat sheet: Viktor-Vladamie/Vlad, Jayce-Joel, Vi-Viola, Cait-Cathrin/Cat, Mel-Miah, Savannah- Sevika, Sky- Skyler, Powder/Jinx-Piper, Ekko-Elijah

Preview- Vlad’s driver had dropped them off outside the bar roughly half an hour ago and there was no sign of Joel. He had stressed over his outfit for an hour in total and the one man he was trying to impress wasn’t even here. He took another sip of his drink and let his eyes drift around the room for the umpteenth time, fiddling with the end of his came in his free hand. His cropped band shirt came down to his waist, covered by the open button up Viola had insisted on. The choice left a nice section of his stomach uncovered before it was met with his dark green cargo pants, not his first choice but his favorite brace for dancing was more comfortable with the slightly thicker fabric. Even without his ideal pants, he looked good and he knew it. He just wished the object of his affection would show up so he could prove it.

Minor Caitvi and Melvika in this one. They get like a full paragraph though.

Vlad was jealous. It was a plain and simple fact. Why? Joel Torres. His own filming for Arcane was on hold the past few days since they were focussed on other scenes, not a problem, He had plenty of other projects to fill his time with! Unfortunately this did mean he hadn’t seen Joel since Monday. It was currently Friday. The absolute horror, am I right? And though that would be changing tonight, having set plans for over a week now, it didn’t help the ugly emotion that had been churning in his gut. The media had started a rumor that there was something going on between his costars Miah and Joel, and while he knew it wasn’t true, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes and huff every time he got a “Sorry, Joel and I need to run lines, can we do lunch tomorrow?” or an even worse “im with miah ill see you friday” from Joel (and his lack of proper grammar over text), which by the way, ouch? That had been sent on Wednesday and no communication had been had between the two since. That’s actually what brings us to the current topic and conversation, the one about him being jealous.

The stars of Arcane were all finally going out for drinks together, as actual friends he might add, and due to the varying degrees of fame amongst them, they’d booked a VIP room at Viola’s favorite karaoke bar for the night. Viola, Miah, and himself were currently in varying states of the getting ready process in his living room. Miah was sitting on his patterned blue rug in front of the couch with her makeup and a mirror on the coffee table in front of her, she currently wore his bathrobe over her white skirt and cropped pink baby tee to avoid getting makeup on anything. Viola was in his kitchen just ten feet away absolutely decimating his liquor cabinet, and he was sitting behind Miah on his gray velvet couch, using her mirror to fix his hair for the 15th time.

“Vlad I’m telling you to just ask him the fuck out, okay?” Viola popped back up from under the counter and set down three shot glasses, proceeding to pour them some of his…when did he buy whiskey? He doesn’t drink whiskey. “It’s been WEEKS now of fuck me eyes back and forth around the lot,” She punctuated her words with a dramatic lean to the side and a wave of the hand,” and I’m out $30 if one of you can’t get it together and make a damn move by the end of filming. Do you want me to be out $30?” Their head snapped to look in Vlad’s direction, an accusatory finger following. “Because I thought-”

“You and Joel will be in the same vicinity tonight, I would not recommend that once we leave.” That earned him a laugh from Miah and a dramatic groan of annoyance from Viola. She picked up their tray of shots and walked around the breakfast bar into the living room. Tonight they were donned in chest tape with an open cropped black jacket over it, a pair of black jeans and studded boots to complete the look. She set the tray down and sat beside him on the couch. He didn’t need to look at them to know they were facing him.

“Uncalled for, there hasn’t been an incident in over a week and you know it. Plus who else is gonna be your wingman? Cat ain’t subtle and whenever Miah gets within five feet of him it’s on the cover of Teen magazine.” He cringed a bit at that, it was true after all. It was also the entire reason they were having this conversation at all. Another cover shot of Joal and Miah’s “lunch date” as the article had put it.

“I’d hardly call your methods subtle, besides I don’t know how many times I have to tell you he isn’t interested. He doesn’t seem like the type to...what was that saying Miah?” He makes eye contact with her in the mirror, “Beat the bush? It had to do with a bush.” He finally looks over at Viola as she downs her shot.

“Beat around the bush dear. And no, he’s not. That’s what we’re trying to tell you.” Miah finally speaks as she blends out her blush. “We’ve already established he’s not interested in me, nor I him. You can even ask him if you really want to know for sure.” She gives him a pointed look and closes her compact with a satisfying click. He breaks their eye contact to reach for his cane. He’d had enough of this conversation to be frank, and needed to finish getting dressed. 

“Maybe I will hmm? Who knows what the night will bring, but in the meantime, please do not burn down my apartment while I change.” That was definitely directed at Viola. “I’m moving in a few months and I’d like my deposit back, thank you.” He turns to go to his bedroom, his exit is punctuated with the soft clicks of his cane, and as Viola watches him go she doesn’t know whether she wants to scream or cry at his obliviousness. 

“He could tell the moment you set your sights on someone, but has no idea when someone does the same for him?” The question is directed at Miah, who looks to be nearly done with her makeup. A joint sigh escapes them both as they make eye contact. It’s like a light bulb appears above Viola’s head as a smirk makes its way across her face and Miah knows what she’s going to say before the words even escape her mouth. “Speaking of…how’s that going? Savannah right?”

She can tell Miah’s blushing under her perfectly applied makeup and gives a nudge of encouragement with her foot. The woman bats her foot away and rolls her eyes. “Yes Savannah. We’re only texting right now, nothing’s…going yet. But I invited her tonight so with a little liquid courage and half an edible I think I’ll work up the nerve to ask her out.” She unclips her shoulder length butterfly locs and gives her head a shake to help fix them before she turns off her mirror’s light. With a little uncertainty she takes a deep breath and turns to face her friend. “How did you…when you asked out Cat…uh…any pointers?” Her head tilts to the side with an awkward smile

Viola barks out a laugh and leans over to hand the other her previously forgotten shot. Miah immediately downs it gratefully and lets out a little chuckle before continuing. “Men are easy for me, y'know? I can flirt with them no problem, go on dates with them, text, but with Savi? It’s like I can’t even get a word out…” She leans herself back against the couch defeated, following the way the fan spins with her eyes. She hears the way Viola sucks her teeth before replying with an almost cautious tone.

“Honestly? No idea. Cathrin asked me out. Walked up to me after an audition I did at Kurtmen Studios and said I’d ‘gotten the part of her date’ for that Saturday." They share another chuckle, “Best I can tell you is to just dive in and hope for the best…she’s definitely a lesbian though, I looked into it for you.”

“...oh?”

“Yep. Half her posts tag that Lesbian bar on the other side of town and the other half are selfies at the gym or hiking.”

“Vi that sounds like yo- oh. Yeah I believe you.”

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Vlad’s driver had dropped them off outside the bar roughly half an hour ago and there was no sign of Joel. He had stressed over his outfit for an hour in total and the one man he was trying to impress wasn’t even here. He took another sip of his drink and let his eyes drift around the room for the umpteenth time, fiddling with the end of his came in his free hand. His cropped band shirt came down to his waist, covered by the open button up Viola had insisted on. The choice left a nice section of his stomach uncovered before it was met with his dark green cargo pants, not his first choice but his favorite brace for dancing was more comfortable with the slightly thicker fabric. Even without his ideal pants, he looked good and he knew it. He just wished the object of his affection would show up so he could prove it. 

He was brought out of his thoughts when the stool next to him scraped against the floor and it was pulled out, a set of blue eyes and a blonde beard coming into view as the newcomer ordered. He heard him say a whiskey on the rocks, and being a drink or two in at this point, decided he'd make the most of his night. The bartender set down the drink and out of the corner of his eye he saw Viola go up to sing Wannabe by the Spice Girls again.

“Whiskey eh? I’m more of a vodka man myself, but maybe their selection here is a bit better than what I’m used to.” He faced the other as he vocalized his thoughts and realized he recognized him, he had seen him at a queer club Miah had dragged him to last weekend. He’d definitely been checking Vlad out. 

“It’s not my usual go to, but I’m gearing up to buy this guy a drink and needed an extra push. Sitting right next to me actually, you think he’d want one?” The man raised his eyebrow and took a long sip of his drink. Vlad let the side of his mouth curl into a half smile and chuckled.

“I think he’d like a shot of vodka. And a name to go with such a cute face.” His head came to rest on his hand as he spoke, cane now resting against his inner leg The other quickly waved down the bartender and ordered the shot while Vlad finished the remainder of his drink. 

“I’m Charlie. Yknow when my friend said he was gonna get us into an exclusive bar, I didn’t expect to see so many famous faces. Yours included.” The shot was set down and Vlad raised it to his new counterpart before downing it. His eyes stayed on the bar for a moment as he responded.

“Oh? So you know me then? And here I thought you just wanted a drink with a handsome stranger?” He was only half teasing. It would have been nice to not be recognized, but with his rising fame it was becoming harder and harder to find possible partners that didn’t already know who he was. He asked for another vodka soda.

Charlie made no indication he was bothered by what was just said, even laughing along, but as he made a move to respond he tensed a bit, leaning just a bit farther away and eyes widening in an almost confused way, it would have been comical in any other circumstance. His eyes had focused on something behind Vlad and he himself now felt a presence in the previously empty space behind him. It was familiar, and he scrunched up his face in curiosity before swiveling around just a bit to see who it was.

“You can go. Sorry to keep you waiting Vladimir, Cat and I got into a bit of an argument before we left.” Joel quickly came into sight and claimed the bar stool on the other side of him, eyes not leaving Charlie’s. Vlad made a noise of confusion and shook his head in a way he really hoped was nonchalant.

“Oh uh…” Fuck “You didn’t! Viola’s stage presence has had me captivated until just a minute ago, Charlie and I were just talking.” The man in question looked between the two a few times, trying to gauge the situation. Joel raised a brow at him when Vlad had turned back to the blond, eyes narrowing just a tad.

“I said you can go?” and oh was he gone. Departing with a quick nod of his head and walking quickly in another direction. Vlad’s face scrunched up in confusion. He thought they were heading somewhere with their conversation too. With only mild disappointment, he shrugged and turned his attention to Joel, whose eyes had found their way back to Vlad the moment Charlie had hurried off. He had an unreadable look on his face as Vlad’s eyes found his and silence overtook them. 

Joel briefly looked to the bartender to order a glass of tequila when Vlad’s drink was brought over and Vlad unwillingly made a mental note to try tequila the next time he went out. He’d already mixed alcohol enough for one night and he didn’t want to be totally incoherent now that the object of his desires had reared his beautiful head. Not a word was spoken as whoever was next went up on stage and Joel took a sip from his first drink of the night. Vlad was the first to break the silence, he usually was he noted.

“You look good tonight, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out of costume now that I think about it. Green’s a good color on you.” This was true, he’d only ever seen the other man in their Arcane costumes and the occasional jacket to avoid spilling anything on it. He looked good. He was dressed in a fitted dark green sweater over a dark grey button up shirt, though how anything fit under that sweater with how tight it seemed to be was a mystery. He had on black pleated slacks and dark grey shoes, a bit professional for a bar but who was he to judge. What caught his eye most was the gold chain around his neck, with a beautiful blue rock hanging from it. He’d seen it before, on a bracelet Joel always wore on set. It must be interchangeable? Or part of a set? Eh who cares, he was two seconds away from drooling- Oh shit his mouth was open. He snapped his jaw shut with a light click and cleared his throat, eyes looking anywhere but the man beside him. Embarrassment heavy on the air around him.

Joel waited a moment before responding, “Thanks. I like this sweater. It’s soft, see?” An arm was held out in front of him and Vlad actually didn’t have time to be embarrassed about the way his hand shot out to feel along Joel’s bicep and forearm. It was definitely soft…and did so very little to hide the absolute unit of an arm underneath it. 

“I see…very nice, yes.” He said as he brought his arm back down to his pocket. Joel gave a hum of approval and threw a glance over Vlad’s shoulder again before letting his eyes come back to the other’s. 

They got into a comfortable conversation from there, Vlad very animatedly talking about this or that, Joel making comments here and there. They both found they had a mutual love of horror films, both loving the Evil Dead franchise and the remake of The Invisible Man. A comment was made that they should make plans to see something together once they had more free time, and Vlad plays off the flush oh his face with being just a bit buzzed.

“So’s that your type?” Vlad absolutely froze at the words.

“You mean Charlie?” He asked in an almost perplexed curiosity. Why were they talking about him again, it had been nearly an hour since he’d gone on his way.

“If that was his name.” He had to find an answer soon with the way Joel was staring at him. The thing was, while yes that was his type, he had his ideal specimen of a man sitting directly next to him…who also coincidentally fit the majority of the criteria he preferred, more so that the blond had in fact. He cleared his throat and let his eyes fall to the floor for a second, drink swirling in his hand while he thought of an answer.

“For the most part, give or take the ehh…facial hair I suppose?” Was that subtle? Oh gods it definitely wasn’t. Where was Viola? She was meant to be a wingman tonight for him. He dared a glance at the other as the words rolled off his tongue, she had said to be more forward anyways.

“Hm. Definitely not my type but we all have our preferences.” Joel shrugged as he answered. He felt himself deflate just the smallest bit as he decided to ask a bold and very clarifying question. 

“Oh? Like men in general?” Fuck fuck fuck abort abort abort-

“No. Men are fine, he’s just not my type.”  Vladimir’s head had never in his life whipped up so fast, and he had never been so embarrassed about a reaction as when his gaze locked onto a pair of beautiful golden eyes, staring right into his soul.

“Ah. I see.” He responded slowly.

“I just prefer a smaller partner. Eye color is all wrong too.” Joel broke their eye contact for the first time as he glanced at a loud crash across the room. Vlad couldn’t bear to look away from his face at that moment.

Was he flirting? Was it just one too many drinks and an active imagination? He didn’t think he’d had enough to make himself lose his perception of those around him, but maybe it was time to call it quits for the night. His mouth suddenly felt very dry as he watched Joel’s eyes drift back to his own.

“I’ll be back. I’d like to talk more.” Joel downed the remainder of his drink and stood up, “I like talking to you…Vlad. Apologies for not being able to see you much this last week.” Heat crept up his neck as we watched the taller man walk away towards the commotion. He could now clearly see Piper, another castmate of theirs, had been the cause. He couldn’t be bothered to figure out what was happening though, too lost in thought about the conversation he’d just had.

Author's note: Im like a fly rubbing my hands together in an evil way whenever i write bc i just love making vik flustered

[cherrysurf]

try again (osamu miya x f!reader)

Prologue; the end of beginning

warnings: read at ur own risk, slightly ooc but for good plot purpose

10 years and 6 months going strong with Osamu Miya. It started as a silly middle school relationship being first years growing up together, getting teased a picked on by friends, being at all his volleyball games until high school even talks about “middle school sweethearts”, “I want something like Yn and Osamu” floating around the people in school.

Life was beautiful, it was youthful, full of happiness and reasons to live for, people to die for, planning the future underneath the stars, the scent of oranges from the tree you two would lay under since your guys’ first year of high school that you had found on your walk home that now had your initials engraved in it signifying the ever lasting love you two believed you had.

“The soulmates” as you two would say, the smell of cigarettes that lingered and mixed with the oranges from the tree in high school due to the stress of finals, and the will to try something new and being cool, whatever that was for you. The giggles and soft kisses between conversations from two of you that stayed between each other and the urges to run away and start a small family, The lazily drunk make outs at parties. The rush and excitement from sneaking out just to see each other more, the family dinners you shared, the late night ramen texts, the secret sleepovers, the one time Atsumu actually caught you sleeping over. The jealousy from Atsumu because he didn’t find love quite like your guys’. Moving into college together with him helping you set up your dorm room, him sleeping and almost living in your dorm, The amazing food he made for you on your periods, or stuff he’d take you in between classes to try, The ideas he had for his own business, the thought of him proposing after college. It was all a fever dream…

“Are you seriously running away from all of this just because you think you can’t grow without me anymore?” you say screaming next to the orange tree where it was once filled with love, now with hurt, tears and pain.

“Yn, come on, we’re not fucking kids any more, I can’t keep wasting my time.” Osamu was exasperated, running his fingers through strands of hair in annoyance.

“So what, Was this was all some fucking pastime for you till you felt it was convenient to let go?” you yell, hitting his chest in a fit of rage.

“Back away from me Yn, I’m doing this for me,” He huffed, stepping back.

“Okay but what about us? You promised me,” you dropped to the grass in tears.

“That was years ago,” He crossed his arms and looked away while pausing. “I don’t have time for your pity party, Yn.”

“You’re a fucking joke Osamu,” you paused, eyes narrowing in anger, “I fucking hate you, for ruining all that we built.”

The palm of your hand met his face, his eyes widen in shock.

“I don’t understand why you can’t see that this is the only choice we fucking have! It doesn’t matter what you want, we’ll never grow if we stay together— I’LL never grow. I’ll be stuck chasing stupid dreams with you forever, I don’t want that, not any more, not ever.” Osamu spits out meaningless words, clutching onto his cheek as his heart raced in a flurry of rage.

“I hope this is worth it, I hope all this pain you're putting us through is fucking worth it. I’ll check out of this relationship as well. You’re not the only one that can turn heartless Osamu Miya,” you muttered while walking away from him, not bothering to spare him one final glance.

You left for college abroad after your second year of university in Japan. After you broke up with Osamu, you knew you needed to change your life and put as much distance between the two of you, for the sake of your mind and heart. You knew yourself, you knew that you’d fall back into whatever it was that you had with him, whether you were sober or not. For the first time, you needed to pick yourself, just how he did himself.

taglist: @sahrii @dearru @gumims @angeleilee @istann @chloiyoomi

[sonflwers]

not me almost having a 3rd meltdown this week bc of how much stuff i own

[mars-ipan]

Tomorrow Is Election Day And I Am So Fucking Stressed

[disengaged]

i wanna live on my own again …. i’m so ready to put my books on a shelf and my clothes in a closet

[seventh-district]

.

[a-ikuoliver]

i know i’m only 22 but good LORD

[exopelagic]

WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME BURROWS END WASNT FREE

[apathyfairy]

i have 2 interviews on monday so im gonna try to just eat so much tomorrow that i literally die

[floral-hex]

So if I cancel an appointment the day of, I’ll get charged $100, but the doctor can cancel the appointment an hour beforehand and I’m just shit out of luck. Very cool. Not a bother at all.

[yaminerua]

Doctor appointment tomorrow and I’m just like. Please god let them give me something that can restore my ability to look at my face without wanting to die. Even if it never fully goes away at least something that can reign this redness back in to something bearable would be nice bc I am genuinely not coping very well with it as is