#may charelton

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Masterlist

Summary: (Begins at season 1) A young American woman accidently gets lost and left behind during her family trip in England. Now she's left alone in the sketchy town of Birmingham. What will happen when she meets a family rumored to be full of notorious and dangerous gangsters? Warnings: swearing, inappropriate language, guns, suggested sexual content, spoilers

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[setbw4u]

Discover Serenity and Relief: Charelton's Healing with Massage Therapy in Winnipeg

At Charelton’s Whole Body Healing, we understand that true well-being extends beyond the physical body. It encompasses the mind, spirit, and emotions. We’re excited to introduce you to our innovative approach to holistic healing — Subconscious Reprogramming in Winnipeg. Through mindful transformation, subconscious mind reprogramming, and the power of positive affirmations, we empower you to take control of your inner world for a more fulfilled life.

Mindful Transformation Winnipeg

Mindful transformation Winnipeg is the art of cultivating self-awareness and harnessing the incredible potential of your subconscious mind. Our holistic approach to mindful transformation in Winnipeg is rooted in the belief that your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions shape your reality. By becoming more mindful of these internal processes, you can create lasting change and achieve your goals.

Our skilled practitioners will guide you through the process of mindfulness, helping you tap into your inner wisdom and identify patterns that may be holding you back. Through mindful transformation in Winnipeg, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of yourself, enhance your emotional intelligence, and develop the tools to navigate life’s challenges with grace.

Subconscious Mind Mastery Winnipeg

Your subconscious mind is a powerful force that plays a significant role in shaping your life. Through our subconscious mind reprogramming in Winnipeg, we teach you how to unlock the potential of your subconscious mind to manifest positive change. By reprogramming limiting beliefs and thought patterns, you can break free from self-imposed limitations and create the life you desire.

Charelton will work with you to access your subconscious mind’s immense power and facilitate a process of transformation. Subconscious mind reprogramming Winnipeg can help you overcome obstacles, reduce stress, improve self-esteem, and enhance your overall well-being.

Positive Affirmations Winnipeg

Positive affirmations are powerful statements that can help rewire your subconscious mind for success, happiness, and fulfillment. At Charelton’s Whole Body Healing, we incorporate the use of positive affirmations Winnipeg as a fundamental tool for personal growth and transformation.

Our experts will help you craft personalized affirmations that align with your goals and aspirations. By receiving Psych-K balances, you can reprogram your subconscious mind to support your desires, leading to positive changes in your life.

Unlock the potential of your mind and experience the profound benefits of mindful transformation, subconscious mind reprogramming, and positive affirmations in Winnipeg with Charelton’s Whole Body Healing.

Are you ready to take control of your inner world and transform your life for the better? Contact Charelton today to learn more about our Subconscious Reprogramming in Winnipeg program and schedule your appointment. Let Charelton guide you on a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and holistic healing. Your path to a more fulfilling life begins here at Charelton’s Whole Body Healing.

[jdelarroz]

Changing Comic Culture One Step At A Time

I’m a fan of the classic pulps, having studied what made our American culture so great in the first half of the 20th century, which then declined as the entertainment industry became weaponized as a political tool. Normal people, consequently, exited culture, which led to its slow spiral which started in the 60s, but reached its apex in poor quality in the 90s-2000s, where the culture collapsed and never recovered.

Books went from selling millions to selling thousands. People stopped seeing movies. People stopped reading comics and they became a niche market. You know the drill if you’ve read along.

Both the content and the business models have been failures from the mainstream industry, and it’s why I’ve spent time on my last several projects doing something different.

My work on Dynamite Thor was a study of a golden age character, redoing a hero as an actual hero, adding humor to comics, making comics fun again. It highlighted that 1950s Americana which we lost as a culture.  It may have seemed an esoteric concept to pursue, but it was a great work and test as a writer to learn to revitalize.

Another area where I’ve found needing revitalization is short comics. I started and continue to release them on my Patreon as I get them done after reading wonderful works by Steve Ditko in a Masters of Suspense compilation. I reviewed the book here:

Back when comics were a thriving industry, Marvel, Charelton Comics, EC, and others had magazines every month dedicated to shorts. They’d make punchy, witty, concepts and really exercise the mind creatively by doing different things — Jack Kirby even made romance comics into something super popular.

All of these had short concepts, packing a ton of story into 5 or 10 pages. Each story had something wildly different than the next. They made for incredibly refreshing reads.

This is what inspired me to do shorts on my patreon, which I’ve been coming out with and producing monthly in conjunction with my regular comics.

With the quarantine, I figure it’s best to get those out to a bigger and wider audience, so I compiled what I have to date into Spectacular Comics #1. This book has a little of everything — cute wholesome stories, horror, samurai, I wanted to use my comic storytelling to try something different each time, and with short comics it gives me more luxury to follow the creative instinct.

It’s already at #3 on Amazon and has three 5-star reviews. This is a great comic to bring back classic-style culture and you’ll really enjoy it. The print edition is “processing” right now so I’m just waiting on it to go live, but you can get Spectacular Comics and make comics great again on kindle for only $3.99.

Read today, and see why short comics are so fun!

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[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 55: Resolved Debt

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

For the rest of the day I keep myself busy by cleaning out the entire house. Every time I look over at my suitcase in the corner my stomach ties into a knot. Maybe Alfie’s right. I shouldn't be here. All that’s happened since I got here has gone from complicated to worse. And- 

Okay, where is Thomas? I take another glance out the window. Mr. Solomons has returned with his gang but Thomas is missing. He wouldn’t forget to accompany his friend back to his car. Did something come up?

I leave Charlie asleep on the sofa and stick my head out the door to call across the street.

“Where’s Thomas? I thought he was with you.”

Alfie looks up and sees me shouting. He motions for his men to wait and walks over to the front steps, leaning his cane on the railing.

“The man left for some errands. Mentioned something about the foundation or whatever.”

“Just him? No one else went with him?”

He scoffs. “How the fuck would I know?”

That doesn’t sound like Thomas. All these weeks he’s stressed about security and keeping in pairs. He would have told Alfie where he was going.

“Alone…” A light flicks on in my head and panic sprints through me. Polly! “That’s means-! I need to find him!”

I lurch forward to start running but Alfie reaches out and grabs my arm. No no no! This must be what Polly set up! Changretta will want to get Thomas alone so he can kill him-!

“Whoa, whoa.” Alfie tugs me back. “Whatever this mess is, you are not in it.”

I try to pull away. “Polly did this! She-!”

“Not. Your. Business. You want something to do? Go tend to his boy.”

“I-”

“Verena.” The Jewish gangster gives me a certain look. “We both know that a father without his son is the worst thing we can let happen to him. He needs someone like you to look after Charlie.”

“I have been!” I cry out with a cross between rage and despair. “And he never tells me anything! I am not going to wait for a note saying he’s been shot!”

“Steenstra, coming from a man who knows how Tommy thinks, let me say this. He has strange ways of showing affection.” Alfie, seeing that I’ve calmed down a fraction, pats my shoulder. “I’ll leave it at that.”

Yes, because that cleared up so many questions! I watch the man stride back to his car and see him give a final wave as the vehicle starts driving away. So I’m subjected to what all other Shelby women struggle through. Staying safe indoors while I wait for Thomas to tell me what’s going on. 

Thud! The sound of the back door sends me sprinting down the hall. No more of this-! 

“Polly?”

The Romanian woman walks past my shocked face and starts to light a cigarette.

“What a surprise,” I droll darkly. “Are you here to apologize to Charlie for killing off his dad?”

She flicks some ash into the sink. “Tommy isn’t dead.”

Not dead? Not…? Okay, then what did happen? She can’t hide it from me! Polly’s worried just as I am!

I clench my fists and march straight up to her. “Somebody better start telling me what the fuck is going on right now-!”

“We’re holding a family meeting,” Polly explains all too calmly. “I’ll explain everything then. Right now, keep your head clear. You don’t need to pick up Tommy’s hot-headedness.”

“My head clear? My head clear?” I hiss. “Do you have any idea how hard I’ve been trying to keep a clear head throughout these past weeks?”

Polly just shakes her head and walks off to see Charlie. My shoulders slump and I lean against the wall. Not Polly too. Is Ada the only other one who understands this insanity? Can somebody tell me anything?

Knock knock.

I cannot handle any more of this. That better be a bloody angel because, dear God, I need some good news-!

“Hello.”

Thomas. It’s Thomas. Alive. Holding a parcel.

“Thank Christ. You son of a bitch!” 

My anger fazes into frustrated relief and my knees buckle. Thomas uses his free hand to grab me just before I can crumple to the ground. He stands me up and I bury my face into his warm coat. At the same time I weakly pound a fist against his shoulder, still raging about his return.

“Y-You could’ve- I thought you were going to die!” I gasp. “What happened, Thomas? What the fuck is going on?” I look back at the parcel. “And what is this? More guns?”

Thomas clears his throat and helps me stand straighter. “Verena, about the argument from before. I understand that you’re only looking out for your family. None of this is your fault. I know you’re not working for Changretta.”

“Thomas… That’s really sweet, and I accept your apology, but just moments ago I was about to pull my hair out worrying about if you had been killed!” 

“Here, here. Let’s get inside.” Thomas ushers me back into the warm house and shuts the door. “I know, none of this has been fair for you. And the Hudson-”

“Don’t mention the car, Thomas. I needed to stop keeping quiet and thought that it would help-”

“Oh it does, love.” Thomas licks his lips. “It’s a gorgeous car. But I still owe you a big apology for this whole mess. So to make it up, Charlie and I picked out this a few days ago. Thought you’d like it.”

He passes me the box. Why does he look… scared? Excited? It’s hard to tell. And why is the box light? I remove the top and peer inside. It’s- It’s… A beautiful white coat! An elegant, warm coat that feels almost too soft to the touch. He picked this out for me?

My jaw drops and I immediately start shaking my head. “Thomas, I cannot accept this. It’s too much.”

Thomas sees the joy in my eyes and refuses to take the parcel back. “‘Course not. You need something to keep you warm here. Please.” He puts a hand over mine and gently pushes the box further against me. “Please take it.”

“It’s genuine fox fur!” I gush. “This must have cost a fortune! If I wear this half of England will come running expecting me to be some prime duchess or somebody important.”

“You are important. To us.”

He didn’t say ‘to me.’ Is this an apology for the argument or saying sorry for pushing me onto the ‘women to pay no mind’ list?

“Thanks again for watching Charlie.”

He’s had his hands full with this vendetta business that he’s had no time for his own son. A steep understatement. So was I wrong? Thomas really does care? He just… has strange ways of showing affection.

I grudgingly accept the gift and smile warmly. “You never need to thank me for watching him.”

Thomas closes his eyes and rubs his temple. “There’s so much I need to thank you for, love.”

Then why do I still feel pushed away?

“Thomas.” I hold up the coat. “You don’t need to apologize with this. Just promise me you will keep me informed. Promise me.”

He leans against the wall I’ve backed him into and sighs. “I can’t.” His piercing blue eyes look down at me with something I can’t quite decipher. “You know why.”

I bite my lip and take a deep breath. “Yes. I know why. But it doesn’t hurt to ask again.”

I love you, Thomas! And it makes me saddened with worry and sick with anger that I will never be good enough for you.

Thomas starts to reach over but holds back. “I know you still believe I’m worth saving. But- But all I’ve given you are more problems. You don’t-”

“Tommy.”

Polly cuts him off and motions for him to follow her to the parlor. Did she do that on purpose? How am I supposed to pry anything out of Thomas without being interrupted?

Thomas sits in an armchair, an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips, and stares at Charlie playing with his blocks. He doesn’t notice right away when Polly offers him a drink.

“What do you think you’re going to tell Arthur?” she asks.

Thomas doesn’t blink. “I’m going to tell them the truth.”

“Did she like the coat?” Charlie asks shyly from the floor.

Thomas doesn’t answer right away so I speak for him. “I love it, Charlie. It’s beautiful. Did you help pick it out?”

He grins proudly. “Yeah! It was the softest one.”

In the corner of my eye I see Thomas look over at me. He’s still holding something back. But what?

Polly moves over to look out the window. “They’re here.”

I will have to wait for another time. Again. I was so close to telling him.

Another family meeting. Another awkward silence while everyone waits for Thomas to speak. This time I choose to wait with Charlie in the hall while everyone else gathers around the table.

After a minute Arthur speaks up. “Heard there was a shooting today.”

Thomas nods. “Yeah. I killed three men today. Now our enemies will have to wait.”

Arthur and I exchange the same look of surprise, while Lizzie and Ada don’t look the least bit shaken. That’s what was waiting for Thomas today. But he lived.

Charlie tugs at my skirt and points to his dad. “Was daddy in trouble?”

“No, no,” I whisper and kneel down next to him. “Your vader just met up with some bad men.”

“Suppose they took you by surprise?” Arthur asks gruffly.

“No. I knew they were coming.”

Hold the phone. He knew?

Polly speaks up. “A few months ago I received a letter from Luca Changretta, offering to spare my son if I gave up Tommy. And I gave Tommy up.”

“Which is the plan that Polly and I agreed on,” Thomas explains. “I knew Luca would want to pull the trigger himself so I used this as a setup to bring him in.”

He locks eyes with me and sees my growing irritation. All this time? He knew all this time what he was getting himself into and he told me nothing! 

“I didn’t get Luca, but I got three. All right?” He walks over and leans down to pick Charlie up. “Come here, you.”

Johnny Doggs holds up a glass. “I thought you’d gone soft. I drink to you, Tom.”

“So you got three?” Uncle Charlie asks.

Thomas nods. “I got three.”

“Well, I drink to you, Tom.”

Charlie looks back and forth in confusion. “Dad, you got three what?”

Thomas laughs and pokes his chest. “I got three shillings for a two-shilling horse.” I guess that’s one way to put it. “Now, my boy, you come with us, eh?”

Charlie giggles and gives me a wave goodbye. Arthur lets out a laugh and ruffles the boy’s hair.

“Been playing with Aunt Verena, eh Charlie?”

Suddenly Thomas’ gaze hardens. “No, Arthur.”

“Why not? She’s basically a sister.”

Yes. Why not? I should think that I deserve aunt status at this point. And why is Polly looking at Thomas like that? Almost like she knows something…

The Romanian woman catches me looking and busies herself by grabbing her coat. “I’m picking up Michael from the hospital tomorrow. Then I'm dropping him off to Mr. Gold on the outskirts.”

I stifle a laugh. “Michael? In the woods? He’s going to hate it.”

Polly rolls her eyes. “He’s going to deal with it.”

Once she walks out, Thomas sticks his head back in, with Charlie still clinging to his neck.

“We’re going out for a drink. When I bring Charlie back for his nap, will you watch him ‘til I get back tonight?”

I put my hands on my hips and give him a cheeky glare. “I suppose Charlie can spend more time with his non-aunt.” My teasing fades. “You’re not staying?”

Thomas notices my disappointment and tilts my chin up. “I've got some paperwork but I’ll be back. I promise.”

Thomas does fulfill his promise… eventually. He brings Charlie back just as it starts to turn dark, tucking the yawning child into bed. But he walks back out again, no doubt off to overwork himself. Thomas seemed eager to come back but does not return until the early hours of the morning. I don’t know what kept him but when I hear the door open I put down the dishes I’m washing and head straight for him.

“You’re back late. Charlie’s- Thomas? What is it?”

His face. All hints of conquering and happiness from earlier are gone. Replaced by a sad stare. He looks as if someone just slapped him.

Thomas’ mouth opens and closes while he tries to think of what to say. He pinches the bridge of his nose and removes his hat.

“Did Polly tell you?”

Tell me what? In case he hasn’t noticed yet, I’ve been kept in the dark with many important bulletins as of late. 

“I take that as a no.” Thomas lets out a deep breath. “Lizzie, she’s… pregnant.”

Tug! My body goes still and I grip the dish towel even harder. The blood drains from my face. My heartbeat screams in my ears. I lean against the wall, keeping my shocked, distraught face hidden away. All this time…

“Th-That’s wonderful, Thomas,” I manage to say through my shreiking thoughts. “Another baby is another blessing.”

I feel Thomas put his warm hand on my tense shoulder. “Are you alright?”

Alright? Alright?! Is he fucking joking?!

“Yes, just tired.” I pull away and fling the towel onto the counter, changing to a colder persona. “Is there anything else, Mr. Shelby?”

My heartless tone hits Thomas square in the chest. A sorrowful look freezes over his face. Good.

“No.”

“Congratulations again. I’m sure Charlie will be happy to have a sibling.”

I rush back to my room and fight the urge to slam the door right off its hinges. It’s happening all over again. They have a baby, he marries her, I’m pushed away again. Sticks and stones, best wishes to them both. At least Grace brought a sense of peace to Thomas. Lizzie only seems to bring out the rough side of him.

Lizzie Stark? Lizzie fucking Stark. Back to his old ways. He will kiss any woman but me. Always another woman. Just when he starts to open up, he uses someone else. Is my love invisible to him? There he goes again, back to Lizzie while I’m taunted for being single. 

Thud! That was the front door.

Yes. Go, Thomas. That’s one fucking context clue you pick up on! I want to be alone.

I’m just another whore to you, Thomas Shelby. You’ve said it yourself. We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves. I’ve sold you my time. Each year I saved my time for you and your family, your Shelby Company Limited. And for what? 

Ring! Ring!

If that’s Lizzie Stark I’m going to rip the phone clear from the wall! I roughly pick up the receiver. On the other end I hear the distinct chatter of two people.

“Verena?”

No. No. No. I do not need a talk full of pity.

“Please, Finn… Not now. You too, Ada.”

I hear Ada sigh. “He told you?”

I choke back a sob and wipe the pooling tears from my eyes. “Yes. God smiles on us again.”

“Verena-”

“PLEASE!” I shriek and cover my mouth to keep myself from breathing too fast. “Just- Just leave me be.”

I hang up before they can argue. That does it. I’m not playing this game anymore. As soon as this bloody fight is over I’m packing my bags for home! Company employee or not, I will not stick around to work in these harassing conditions. Despite my lingering love for that klootzak, it’s not enough to win me over to stay anymore. No more moral obligation. My debt is finally paid.

Maybe I will be too cold, Thomas. Too empty and numb. But I’ve followed you around too long, hoping you might love me back. If this is what it takes to earn love, it’s a cost I’m not willing to pay.

And yet even if I’m leaving for good, my heart will never be free from you.

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

Just finished watching all of Peaky Blinders. It took less than a year. It's been quite a journey, and it's bittersweet to think that there's no more until the movie comes out.

And now to begin the popular custom of rewatching old shows rather than testing out new ones! 🚬

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 59: Look Inside

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

The journey home is a quiet and steady one. The further we sail from England the lighter the weight on my heart becomes. Liam helps to district me with card games. By the time we reach America the sight of New York harbor fills my tired soul with joy. Never did I think I’d be so glad to come home. 

Over the next few months things fall back into place. Moeder, vader, and oma were relieved when I told them I’ll be working in America. Polly, Finn, and Ada keep in touch with letters. Polly writes that Thomas never visits. Lizzie’s frantically trying to talk to him but he doesn’t want to. Arthur and Linda have built a life for themselves. Finn keeps to himself. Their kind words offer comfort but nothing can patch up what’s already happened.

Bonnie also keeps his promise. A letter arrives every week, talking all about his adventures with his father and the Peaky Blinders. In return I write him letters about the different customers I encounter. Sometimes I meet with people in vader’s pub. Other times I give them the courtesy of meeting in their own settlements. But Bonnie always ignores talk of business and always asks to make sure I’m doing okay. I write that I am… I think.

“Verena! Dochter! Please come help me with these crates!”

“Coming, moeder!” I call from my room.

“Auntie! Tante!” Eoin’s youngest daughter Cecilia giggles. “Will you play with me?” 

Since I came back it’s been my job to help entertain Eoin’s kids. It’s a perfect way to let my heart heal, even though I do admit that I wish I was taking care of Charlie again. I wonder how Lizzie’s doing with her pregnancy- 

“Verena! Phone for you!” Oma’s voice echos from downstairs. “Someone named Arthur?”

Oh thank God. If it was Thomas I would completely ignore this. My sweet oma smiles at me as I pitter-patter down the stairs, unaware of my anxious thoughts. What on Earth would Arthur be calling about? If there’s something wrong over there shouldn’t they call Ada in Boston?

“Hello?” I ask uneasily into the phone.

“Hello? Verena? It’s Arthur.”

“Greetings, Arthur. Is there something wrong?”

On the other end I hear him chuckle. “You could say that. Verena, get over here before Tommy kills himself. I’m getting him back to work but he needs you here too.”

He wants me to… What?

Arthur listens to my dead silence and keeps talking. “Please? He’s turned into a fucking Communist!”

Turned into one, or fucking one? First Grace, then the Russian, then Lizzie. Now a Commie? I guess two children aren’t enough. Retirement isn’t possible for Thomas Shelby. He’s moved on this long without me, even after I confessed. What can I go back to now? It's time that I take a look at myself and stop trying so hard.

“I’m sorry, Arthur. But there’s no way I can sail over right now. Give my best to Linda. Tot ziens.”

I hang up before he can answer. Before my healing wounds are ripped open again. In these last years of my young life I feel that I’ve learned the toughest lesson. Being mature, being too aware, comes at a cost. In the spam of your life you think too far ahead. Think about how to fix things you can’t control. Re-evaluate what could have been or what could be. Stress about doing your best to please anyone but yourself. 

And Thomas Shelby will be the key stressor for the rest of my life.

General POV

He was fucked.

Thomas has really backed himself into a ditch now. He just couldn’t help himself.

Yes, he had fucked Lizzie. But he was not thinking of May as she had assumed.

Verena.

The only woman he’s ever tried to abstain from. It takes every fiber of willpower not to claim her heart. To pull her close and kiss her gentle lips.

Maybe he was addicted to sex, maybe he was just trying to feel some form of happiness. But one thing is certain. Verena satisfies everything in him.

When Thomas had first set eyes on her, the short, bright-eyed woman standing in the kitchen, he thought for sure she would be like any other broad. Annoyingly chatty, clingy, and skittery. Lord, was he wrong. 

First Thomas thought he was only confused. Verena never used him for money like other women. Grace played his heart like a fiddle so he assumed his tenderness towards Verena’s gentle Christian spirit was the product of friendship. But once he was married… A part of him still felt empty. 

That time at Arrow House, before she was called away at a time of poor inconvenience, he was so close. So close to asking her. He was torn on the matter. Should an innocent woman like her ever settle for a life with him? After all, he’d been so distrustful at the beginning of her employment. 

But then she was pulled away. Time ate off his hope and he drowned himself with the empty love of whores. When Verena finally came back, Thomas assumed she’d forgotten about him. But no. She is here, still vibrant and caring as before. Charlie couldn’t have been more happy to see her and Thomas secretly shared his son’s joy to see the American woman return. When she caught him in the bath Thomas thought the reaction on her face was the most sexy yet adorable thing he’s ever seen. But aside from looks, Verena still has a certain aura about her. Disciplined yet kind. One that reminds him of his mother. 

But he still hesitated. She really deserves so much better… Hell, Verena was almost caught in a vendetta because of him. She deserves a man far more better. Not someone as fucked up as he is. And then when Thomas saw Bonnie Gold being sweet on her he knew he could never truly forget the grip she has on his heart. If only she knew…

So instead he went back to Lizzie. He dug himself further into a pit of guilt, mending his pride by trying to forget. But the entire time Thomas could only think about how much he wished it was Verena. When Lizzie told him her joyful news, Thomas wanted to die of shame.

That look. That look on Verena’s face…

When he told her.

A look of pain and despair that felt like a slap to the face. It was all his fault. And yet she still held back. Maybe Verena doesn’t really love him as he’d hoped? Verena distributes her kindness to everyone. An angel amongst gangsters. Maybe he mistook her gestures to be exclusively for him?

But Thomas can’t go back now. Even if Verena held any love for him she certainly won’t now. Thomas will have to bite the bullet and let her go. He was selfish to think a sinful man like him could ever be blessed to have an innocent woman like her. In truth, Verena never owed anything to the Shelbys. Thomas owes her the best he can offer, which is a life without him. Perhaps her absence will help to hide the pain from his cold heart.

After all these years Verena still carries a smile for him… Even if it’s forced. There’s no other way for Thomas to describe his situation.

He is completely fucked.

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 53: Gambling Lives

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

As dreary as this hospital might appear at first, it’s a freaking miracle compared to the gossipy office. As I strut down the hall I make a mental note to tell Thomas that I will no longer be submitting myself to working there. I am going to do as my job entails and make foreign business trips. If only this bloody vendetta could get cleared up! Not that anyone would tell me right away if anything’s changed.

“Hello, Michael,” I greet and shut the door. “Still sore?”

The young man waves from where he’s sitting at the table, reviewing records. “I feel better but they’re making me stay longer to be sure. Mum’s work, I imagine. How’s Tommy?”

The recollection of today’s planned luncheon draws out more dark thoughts. “In a bit of a pickle. Right now they’re-”

The door opens again and a nurse pokes her head in. She heads for Michael’s satchel.

Michael’s brow furrows and reaches to stop her. “What are you doing-?”

The nurse shoves him to the floor and in a split second I see the reason why: Michael’s gun. She wants to disarm him! I lunge to block her but she whacks me over the head with a medicine tray. In a dizzy state I look up see a sharp-dressed man in a fedora waiting outside.

Bam!

Who’s shot?! Michael’s not. I’m not. Then- The man from earlier is lying dead on the floor. Who shot the gunman? 

“Michael!” I gasp, holding my head and spitting out some blood as I crawl over to help him to his bed.

A new man stands guard by the door, while another one examines us with shifty eyes. It’s no secret that he’s part of the cause that wants us dead. Dark hair, olive skin, pointed nose, spiffy gray suit, black overcoat and fedora, a match in his mouth. Everything about him screams Italian- 

“Uh uh uh,” he tsks as he points to the hat lying on Michael’s cot. “Where I’m from, a hat on the bed… Unlucky. My family… Say it brings death.”

He moves closer and all I can think of is how quickly I might be able to retrieve my pistol before he can.

“Maybe that’s what happened,” the man murmurs, staring straight at Michael. “Last time my men were sent to you, you got lucky.” 

The memory of John sends anger pulsing through me. That son-of-a-! If I can just reach my- Oh God!

He pulls a pistol from his coat pocket and presses the barrel to Michael’s forehead. Thump! Thump! Thump! Oh God, how is this happening?! What can I-?

“Now… Your luck’s run out.” He cocks the gun and gives me a side glance. “Try anything and your brains will paint the wall too.”

Michael squeezes his eyes closed. “It’s over…”

This can’t be right!

Click.

Was that a misfire? The gun clicks, but no bullet is fired. The gangster slowly lowers the gun down Michael’s nose and away from his face. Michael, having just escaped death again, stands frozen in shock while the man backs out with an expressionless face.

“And tell your mother we have a deal,” he concludes before exiting along with his counterpart.

Deal? He made a deal... If a deal can be made to spare Michael's life then maybe-

“Wait. Wait! Michael, I will be right back.” I sit him down and sprint out to catch up. “Wait!”

The taller gangster goes to reach for his gun but his boss holds up a hand to stop him. He waits for me to reach them and looks me up and down, having an expression that looks much too friendly for someone who almost just committed murder.

“You must be Ms. Steenstra. Glad to finally meet you in person. What can I do for you?”

I swallow my nerves. Get it right. This is for your family. There’s no going back.

“Am I right to assume that I am in the presence of Mr. Luca Changretta?”

The gangster tips his hat. “Indeed you are. But I will not discuss the matter of the Shelbys with you.”

“I understand. I’m not here to ask about that. I’m here to discuss my own family.”

This surprises Changretta. Like I just asked him to forget about a small detail. 

“I’ve heard many things about you, Ms. Steenstra. You have quite the family ties.”

I bring my hands together and lower my head. “Please, Mr. Changretta, please cancel the hit on my family. I swear they have no part in the White Hand. None of us.”

Changretta hums. “Then how do you explain Edmond Colon?”

“He is family. But us Steenstras in America are not connected to his mob business.” I harness the courage to look up at him directly with my own determined glare. “I know you are proud of your heritage, as am I. Please just let my father run his brewery in peace.”

The gangster doesn’t answer. He, like Thomas, merely looks me over expecting me to demand more. When I don’t he looks down to play with a ring on his finger. A family ring, no doubt.

“When you first came here, did these Brits harass you because of our part in the war?”

I shake my head. “No. If they would have tried then I would’ve given them a piece of my mind.”

Changretta smirks and causes the match in his mouth to wave up and down. “You are a remarkable American woman, Ms. Steenstra. If only your Irish relatives weren’t giving us so much trouble. By the way, my condolences for Ragtime Joe Howard.”

The building hatred for this and all mafia business tugs at my heart. “His name was Joseph Howard. He made his choice to be in the mafia. Just like you.”

“And you,” Changretta comments and gestures to me. “Mr. Shelby mentioned you when I spoke with him. Why is an innocent woman like yourself caught up with the Peaky Blinders?”

I think that’s the question we’re all asking. A question I may not even know how to answer.

“Moral obligation. I owe them a debt.”

“I see. Then may I offer that we respect each other’s wishes and walk away. You fulfill your debt and I will lift the hit.” Changretta sees my confusion and explains further. “Meaning I will lift the hit on your family. But my arrangement with Mrs. Gray will continue.” 

His words to Michael ring clear as a bell. “What arrangement?”

“That is between Mrs. Gray and me,” Changretta says before tipping his hat in parting and following his partner to the back door. “Ciao.”

Did that just happen? Did I just single-handedly negotiate my family out of a vendetta? Thank God! I just had my first encounter with an Italian mob leader and no one died! There’s still the matter of Polly’s arrangement. But that can wait for now. What I know now is that I can sleep at night knowing my family is safe!

“Michael!” I gasp and rush back to his room. “Are you alright?”

He blankly looks between me and the floor. “What just happened?”

Thud! The door bursts open, letting in Thomas, Arthur, and Finn. They scan the room for threats, as well as examine the fresh corpse outside. 

“Michael! What happened, eh?” Thomas pants and looks anxiously between us.

“They heard you coming,” Michael says softly. “The gun misfired. They ran away.”

I frown at his explanation. Why is he lying? At the mention of the intruders, two Blinders race out the door and Thomas interrogates us further.

“You alright?” Thomas kneels next to me and feels me up and down, looking for any wounds.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” I assure him.

Do not think about how warm his hands are, Verena. Do not! Should I tell him about what just happened?

“Verena!” Finn cries and pulls me into a hug. “Thank God you’re safe.”

“I don’t know where they’re going-”

“Mr. Gold will take care of ‘em,” Thomas says, his eyes never leaving me. Almost like he's afraid I'll disappear. “I have to make a call. Stay with Michael, Verena.”

For the next hour I stay cooped up in the hospital room with Blinders guarding from all sides. I appreciate the gesture for safety, but… I’m in the clear. It feels so relieving! Should I tell someone? It’s not like Michael told the entire truth either.

“Why didn’t you tell them?” I ask him once Arthur and Finn leave.

“Why didn’t you?” Michael reasons back. “What did you do, Verena?”

“I- I… I made sure my family is safe.”

“And what does that mean?” A new voice asks. It’s Polly. Wonderful! Now we can figure out what this ‘deal’ is.

“I convinced Mr. Changretta that my family has no part in this. He believed me.”

The Gypsy woman lights a cigarette and smiles at me. “You have a gift, love. You know how to negotiate with even the most stubborn men.”

Michael clears his throat. “He spared me. He said ‘tell your mum that we have a deal.’ What deal, mum?”

Yes. We’re all dying to know.

Polly takes another puff. “A deal to spare your life.”

Michael is not at ease, and neither am I. “In return for what?”

“Men don’t have the strategic intelligence to conduct war between families. You saw this yourself, Verena. Men are less good at keeping secrets out of their lives.”

Michael puts something together. “You agreed to give up Tommy? To save my life?”

“You did what?” I bark and stand up to face her.

Polly keeps calm. “Tommy’s different. The rest need to be spared.”

“A life is still a life, Polly Gray! Family is family! We do not pick and choose family.” 

“You never forgave him, did you?” Michael asks darkly.

Polly leans in closer. “We’re out of our league.”

Michael shakes his head. “No. Verena’s right. We don’t do that to our own.”

“Think,” Polly urges. “If it wasn’t for me you’d be smoke blowing out of a mortuary chimney.” She looks at me. “And your family might have still been at risk.”

My eyes narrow. “I don’t need your help. I handled my family’s dilemma all on my own. And I did it without harming anyone.”

“What’s to stop us from telling him?” Michael asks openly. Yeah! What will stop us?

Polly points a finger at both of us. “You’ll do no such thing, Michael. You too, Verena. This is my business.”

Smack! I suck in my tongue and pivot to walk out the door. First Thomas keeps secrets, now Polly too? The Hell with this! Maybe it’s the confidence from my meeting with Changretta but I might have my own ace up my sleeve.

I reach the phone and pick up the receiver. “Hello. This call is to be kept confidential. May I please be put through to Edmond Colon, Blood Stoney Road?”

“One moment, please.”

A few more clicks and I hear a familiar laugh. “Hello, Uncle Colon. It’s Verena. I need to ask a favor.”

Time to take matters into my own hands. It’s time for some American reinforcement.

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 60: Black Tuesday

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

October 29, 1929

The coming of a new decade is supposed to symbolize a fresh start. A new ten years of trends waiting to happen. After this last decade of the Roaring 20s one would think the new decade might be special too.

They are downright wrong.

“Vader… Are you absolutely sure?” I ask once more, gripping the phone and holding myself steady against Nicolaas’ kitchen table.

On the other end the tired man sighs. “Yes, Verena. This morning, at six o’clock, the market crashed. Wall Street has fallen.”

“That’s not possible! We’ve had the best economy for years!”

“That is what caused this,” he admits sadly. “Too much of a good thing. Overproduction. Your Uncle Colon will know more than I. Apparently nothing good can last forever.”

All confident thoughts of the past year’s profits fly out the window. I slump against the table and hold my head in my hands, calculating the bills. Of all times to be away from home. Not that I’m not enjoying staying with Nicolaas’ family in Grand Rapids but in order to handle this I need to be back East.

“Do we have enough?” I ask after a period of silence.

Vader mulls over my question and tries to sound optimistic. “We… We’ll manage.”

That does not sound absolute. And if we’re tanking business then I wonder if Thomas miraculously predicted this and stocked up beforehand. Literally. Is Michael faring well in Detroit?

“I’m going to make another call,” I admit slowly and hang up. “Please put me through to Shelby Company, Detroit, Michigan.”

“One moment.” A few seconds go by. “I’m sorry, the person you’re trying to reach is not available.”

“Damn!” I hiss and hang up.

Nicolaas walks in and gives me a cautious look. “No answer?”

I groan louder and pour another drink. He’s probably going back to England. Michael won’t want to stay here to take the heat so he’ll run back home to Thomas. Slapjanus.

Ring! Ring!

I hastily pick up the phone again and hope it’s Uncle Colon with more news-

“Verena! Did you hear about Wall Street?” Ada’s anxious voice rings out.

I hang my head. “Everyone here has. I… I don’t know what’s going to happen, Ada.”

“Me neither. The- Wait a minute. There’s another call on the line.”

The phone clicks and I hear another familiar voice. It’s Finn.

“Verena?”

“Finn, please tell me you all were prepared for this.”

The young Shelby groans. “Tommy thought so. I guess Michael didn’t listen.” He changes to a lighter tone. “They’ve been letting me do things. Big things. This week I’ve been popping in to see Tommy and helping with the records.”

I attempt to smile at his proud news. “That’s wonderful!”

The phone clicks again and Ada speaks. “He also got himself shot.”

“What?” I gasp and dial back to Finn. “Finn! You got shot?”

“Just a small wound-” He tries to explain poorly.

“Finn! We do not need any more Shelbys getting shot!”

“I-”

“No excuses!” I order.

An idea begins to form and my heart clenches. This plan could work. I would have to see him again… And remember the pain he caused. All for a paycheck. You’ve sunk low, Verena.

And He said unto them, “Take heed and beware of covetousness, for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.” (Luke 12:15)

But this isn’t about gaining money for me. Remember your family. This is to help my family. As vader said, things are going to get worse. I will not allow my fragile emotions to get in my way. I will not let earning some extra money break my heart.

“I’m coming over there,” I declare evenly despite my chaotic nerves.

On the other end I hear muffled noise and I think Finn nearly drops the phone. “Wait. What? I’m putting Ada back on.”

More waiting in silence.

“Did I hear that right?” Ada asks in disbelief.

“Yes, Ada. I’m coming back. The crash is going to hit all over the world, not just here. I have a few ideas of how to reach out.” I pause, trying to form my words without sounding too selfish. “And… My family needs the money.”

“Well you are the foreign representative. Or at least you’re supposed to be even though you’ve been in America for the past four years. I heard from Polly there’s going to be a board meeting tomorrow.”

I shake my head. “My trip will take too long. I’ll have to catch up later. Keep me posted.”

“Will do,” Ada assures. “Safe travels. And good luck.”

“You as well. And tell Finn to stop running into bullets.”

Ada hangs up and I ask the operator for the connection to our contact in Chicago.

“Hello? Yes, this is Ms. Steenstra. I’m afraid given the recent circumstances I will have to cancel my appointment in Chicago next week.”

“We understand,” the man answers calmly. “When can we expect news from Shelby Company Limited?”

“I am preparing to speak with Thomas Shelby himself on your behalf.”

I hang up and begin walking to my bedroom. Nicolaas, who has been watching in silence, doesn’t seem too convinced.

“Are you sure, zus? I don’t think moeder or vader will let you go back. Especially now that money’s going to be tight.”

“That’s exactly why I’m doing this, Nicolaas. My job pulls in just as much as vader’s store so it makes sense that I use my position to earn more. Abel’s going to need help too.”

“Abel’s in Germany. He chose that when he got married. You are not married. You should be here-”

“What?” I challenge him, putting my hands on my hips. “I should be here getting married too? You know I’m not ready to settle yet.”

My broer grips his head. “Verena, you’re not going to be 27 forever.”

“Let moeder and vader do the responsibility rant.” I pat his shoulder and continue walking. “I’ve got packing to do. Again. I’ll head for New York tomorrow and board a boat to Liverpool.”

“Good luck!” Nicolaas calls mockingly.

Turns out that my plan isn’t going to go as smoothly as I hoped. Nicolaas was right.

“Verena Nora Steenstra. Being involved with gangsters is no place for a young lady,” moeder tuts firmly. “You must know the way to run a proper home and raise a family. To tend and care for a husband.”

Same broken record. I just had to stop by Brooklyn on my way to the docks. There’s no way I was ever going to be able to slip away undetected.

“Moeder, I do not wish to marry yet!”

“You are of age!” She argues. “Your broers are all married. It’s unusual for a woman to never court. People start to talk.”

Does she think I don’t know that? Can’t they see that I’m doing this for them?

I turn to look at vader, who’s stayed quiet this whole time. “Vader, please?”

The tired man sighs and takes a sip of his whiskey. “You like England now? And this man asks of you to leave your family for him?”

“No, Vader,” I answer softly. “Thomas did not ask me. I want to go. I need to go. That family needs all the help they can get, as well as Abel’s. And it will mean a handsome paycheck for us.”

Vader watches me with wise eyes and thinks for a moment. After a while he shares a glance with moeder and nods to me.

“Then you must do what God is compelling you to do.”

Moeder immediately disagrees. “Can this man really afford to pay you?” 

He most certainly can after what he’s done to me.

“Yes. Yes he can,” I respond firmly. “And I promise to come back once I’ve earned enough. I’ll keep sending money while I’m gone.”

Moeder tugs at her dark hair and mutters to herself. “I still think it’s improper…”

“Do not worry, liefje.” Vader takes her hand. “She will be back. And she will be escorted.”

My head perks up. What?

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 58: It Hurts

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

Throughout the never-ending day I anxiously wait to hear the phone ring. When it finally does I snatch it up and prepare for the worst.

“Hello?”

“Verena! It’s Liam. We did it.”

I clutch my chest in relief. “No one was hurt?”

“Well, Mr. Changretta is much less alive than he was an hour ago,” Liam jokes lightly. “But no. No one was hurt. Your boss is fine and Arthur’s back. We’re all meeting for dinner in war-wic-chester.”

I hang my head to quit from laughing. “You mean Warwickshire? At Arrow House?”

“Yeah, that’s it. Your boss said to bring his boy with you.”

“I will do that. Tot ziens.”

“Tot ziens.”

It’s over. The vendetta is over. Charlie and Thomas can go back to Arrow House and no one has to keep looking over their shoulder for assassins. 

“Charlie!” I call down the hall and the schavuit comes running. “Get ready to go! You’re going home!”

He bolts to Thomas’ room and we both put together his bag. It makes me wonder if Thomas will actually try to spend time with him or if the servants will be the ones to entertain Charlie. We pack up my car and begin our journey north. I’ll call Uncle Colon later to ship the Bentley over to Brooklyn. It makes me guilty to think such a thing but I am not going to let Thomas’ gift go to waste.

“Do you really have to go?” Charlie whines from the backseat.

My grip on the wheel tightens. “I’m really sorry, Charlie. One day you might understand why. I will come by and visit sometime, I promise.”

Darkness falls by the time I pull into the driveway. Arrow House’s windows gleam warmly ahead and Charlie stares wide-eyed as we get closer. Outside I see Ada waiting for me.

“Hello, Charlie!” She greets as the young boy hops out and races for the door. “Your daddy’s waiting inside!” 

Ada doesn’t follow him and lingers next to me as I start to gather Charlie’s things from the trunk. Please, Ada. Not now. Let me have this night of relief with everyone and then I am gone. 

“I’m sailing over next week. You’re not waiting until then?”

I clench my jaw. “No, Ada. There’s no use stretching it out. I am not arguing it any further so please drop it.”

Ada groans and gently slaps her forehead. “Tell him! Tell him you love him! I’ll slap it into him if I have to!”

“No, Ada,” I retort firmly with a warning finger. “Just drop it. He goes for any other woman but me. Grace, May, Lizzie. Anyone else. He knocked up Lizzie, so now he will be attentive to her.”

Ada wants to say more but instead bites her lip and helps me carry the bags inside. Everyone’s sitting in the parlor while servants pass around enticing drinks. Charlie and Karl are off to the side playing. 

“Arthur!” I gasp when I see the familiar Shelby broer. “It’s so good to see you!”

He grins and raises a glass. “I’m still alive and kicking, Steenstra!”

Meanwhile my own broer sits next to Uncle Charlie and Johnny Doggs, no doubt hearing some very wild stories. Finn’s chatting with Bonnie and Isiah. Polly and Aberama seem to have grown on each other. Linda looks to have calmed down and Ada sends her own discrete message to me by passing me my own drink. The only one who is still bothered by my presence is Lizzie. Due to the pregnancy I hope she’s not drinking.

I hear footsteps enter the room and I don’t need to turn around to know it’s Thomas. The music is silenced and everyone turns to address him. Instead I choose to stare down at my glass of brandy.

“Oi! Before we eat, I’d like to say a few words,” Thomas addresses. “Last time we were all here, it ended badly. But now we’re in a happier place.” Thomas cuts it off and raises his glass. “That’s it, I’d just like to raise a toast.”

“Hold on.” Arthur holds up a hand and looks around at everyone as he sits up. “There’s a few words I’d like to say from the heart. And this time, you’re gonna let me finish, Tommy.”

His brother obliged, keeping his mouth shut for once. 

“As you all know, Arthur Shelby is dead. Because of that, Tommy’s offered me a way out. A new identity. Start a whole new life.”

Linda will like that very much. If Thomas offered this to his broer then there is no excuse why he should object to my own choice to leave.

“I’ve thought about it. Made a decision.” A smile slowly grows on Arthur’s face. “I ain’t fucking going nowhere.”

Some cheers echo throughout the room and others sit in silence. Thomas included. Alright, Arthur. You can keep yourself in this lifestyle. But don’t say that things will ever stay calm.

Arthur puts a foot on the coffee table and gestures to all of us. “Our enemies are dead, all of ‘em. I’d like to make a proposal that all of you, the Shelby Company Limited, insist that Tommy here takes some time off. Time you took a holiday, Tom. War’s over.” He raises his whiskey. “To peace.”

“To peace,” almost everyone echoes.

Thomas stays quiet and doesn’t make a move to drink. The same sadness from yesterday still paints his face. Oh, yes. Lizzie will adore it if he takes time off. She’s already smiling about it. Congratu-fucking-lations, Thomas.

Liam locks eyes with me across the room and he signals for the door. I give a quick nod and Liam gives the thumbs up. He stands up and we both start to take our leave-

“Verena, wait.”

Polly takes my hand and pulls me away into the kitchen. Not her too! Why can’t anyone just let me leave with peace and dignity?!

“I know I’ve been distant and I’m sorry.” She pulls out two chairs from the table and we both sit down. “Between my blasted headaches, Linda’s complaining, and Lizzie’s new pregnancy, I didn’t stop to think about how you pulled through this. How you stayed put together.”

I take another sip of my drink. “It’s fine. ‘S not the first time I had to travel alone.”

Polly shakes her head. “No, it’s not fine. Here. Let me read your future.”

She reaches for my hand despite my inner voice telling me to go. The kind woman means well and it brings me joy to talk with her again. But it’s too late now.

“Polly, I appreciate the thought, but the only premonition I expect to receive is from God.”

“And He will present it to me to give to you,” Polly insists. “Let’s see… Oh my.”

From the way she says that I can’t tell what whatever she sees is supposed to be. Good or bad? At this point I’ve lost enthusiasm.

“That dull? No surprise.” I push my chair out and start to leave. “Now please excuse me-”

“Verena. This is serious.” Polly keeps a grip on my hand.

I shoot her a look. “I’m not pregnant too, am I?”

She purses her lips at my bold remark. “No. It’s something else.”

I gulp down the rest of the brandy. “Does it mean life or death?”

Polly’s mouth presses into a line. “No.”

“Then I will wait for it.”

I pull away and march back to the hallway. 

“Your stubbornness to avoid challenging news makes you deaf,” Polly calls after me. “You cannot run away from this, Verena.”

Probably not. But I’m not waiting around here to find out. I ignore Polly’s premonition and walk up to Liam, who’s waiting impatiently by the door.

“Ready? If we get to the docks by morning-”

“Oi! Wait just a minute.”

No. No. No! I hear Thomas walk up behind me and he starts leading me into his office. Can’t Thomas take a fucking hint and see that I need to leave?!

“If you’re gonna be a while I’m having another drink!” Liam calls before I enter the office.

I might need one myself after this. Thomas shuts the door behind us and when I look up to face him there’s something in his eyes that makes me even more uneasy. Why does he have to look so good in that suit? I don’t know if I want to punch his lights out or- Damn it, Verena! Stop thinking about when you walked in on him in the bath!

“It’s settled. Michael and Ada will accompany you back to America. There you will help negotiate peace between us Englishmen and the Italians from Chicago.”

I squeeze against the wall as Thomas slowly walks past me to his desk. He pulls out a bottle and pours two whiskeys. Is that it? A quick goodbye and a drink for the road? Maybe I don’t have to worry so much after all. 

“And you? You’re finally going to rest?” I ask with raised eyebrows. “You’ve been carrying the world on your shoulders. Do as Arthur says, take some time off.”

Don’t think so crossly, Verena. Let him have this. Thomas deserves to have a halfway-normal life with his family. You can live out the rest of your life comforted by yours.

“And when I say time off, I mean it. No paperwork, no phone calls. You need to relax without working. Please tell me you’ll try to relax.”

At first Thomas waves it off but then wants to argue. “Verena-”

“Answer me.”

“Yes, love.” He gives in and hands me my drink. “Anything I can do for you, anything, just let me know.”

I take a swig and try to let the alcohol soothe me. “Alright, then. Spend more time with Charlie. He misses you. And remember to care for your new daughter.”

That’s all I can ask for now. If I can’t have Thomas’ love then I will see to it that his children do. Even if I have to order him to.

“We’re calling her Ruby. Ruby Shelby,” Thomas sighs and takes a sip of his own drink.

“That’s a pretty name. She’ll be a lovely girl.” 

Now Lizzie will probably take over and become Charlie's new mum. I’ve never seen her work well with kids but maybe she’ll change? I just hope she doesn’t prize her own child over Charlie.

“That’s all?”

I freeze. Those words. Those Goddamn words. The same ones I forced myself to ignore before Thomas went back to Grace. All of this could have been different if I hadn’t been so fucking quiet. 

“That is all, Mr. Shelby,” I stutter and regain a firm tone. “Enjoy your holiday.”

Get out get out get out! I put down the glass and pace to the door before any tears can form. Get out get out-

“If you have something to say then say it.”

Fuck. He’s not falling for it now. Thomas isn’t thick enough to ignore it again. He knows I’m not saying everything. Can’t he just let me go? Can’t he see I’m doing this to let him be happy? To save myself from any more heartbreak?

Still frozen midstep, I take a deep breath. “Actions speak louder than words. My neglect to object is my way of saying I want you to be happy.”

In the corner of my eye Thomas walks closer. I feel him grab my shoulders, turning me around to face him. His icy blue eyes stare me down and my heart seizes with fear. There’s that look again. Like he knows I’m hiding something. 

“And by that, would you say that you love me?” He whispers softly. “Look at me, love. Look at me. With God as your witness, look at me and tell me you don’t love me.”

His gentle tone paired with the tender yet heartless question leaves my mind crashing.

“Thomas. Please…”

“Say it.”

I shake my head to look away and hide the forming tears. “Don’t do this to me-”

“It’ll be quick and painless.” Thomas cups my shaking face. “Say it.”

“I- I… Oh Thomas!”

My body collapses and I fall back against the wall, turning away so I can hide my shame. Jesus, why is he doing this?!

“You can’t, can you?” I hear him ask. “‘Cause then you’d be lying.”

Snap! Something tugs in my brain and in a split second my jumbled nerves are replaced by ignited anger. I whip my head around to glare at Thomas’ blank, dumbass face with a look moeder would be proud of.

“Stop tormenting me! I can’t keep this up. I am not going to sob here like a pathetic child and listen to you belittle my heart any further!” I storm up to him and back him against the desk. “You might think that pushing me aside will spare my feelings. Well, the honest truth is it hurts, Thomas. It really hurts me to be treated like this. That is why I am no longer going to work from Birmingham.”

Thomas, still gaping at me with shock and fear painted on his face, stays silent as I march to the door. Happy now, Thomas? I’m probably one of the only women to ever walk away from you with this much dignity. How does it feel to be on the other end of shouting?

I tightly grip the door and give him one last glare. “Goodbye, Thomas.”

Thud!

The door slams and I strut down the hall, the clicking of my heels ringing throughout the house. If anyone else tries to stop me from leaving they’re going to be met with a first to their nose.

“Liam! We are leaving!” I bark, letting my voice echo through the house. “Now!”

My broer scrambles out of the parlor and meets me at the door.

“Finally ready? It’s really dark now and- Verena?” He does a double-take when he sees my tense face. “Zus? What’s wrong?”

“If I ever fall in love again, you have my full permission to give me a smack on the head,” I answer sternly as we step into the bitter wind outside.

Though I put aside my heart for you, Thomas Shelby, I am still human. I’m sorry, Grace. I will not be able to keep my promise to take care of them. It’s up to Lizzie now.

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

Imagine Thomas singing Katherine Howard’s song only it’s about all the women he’s had

Peaky Blinders’ Favorite Musicals

Thomas: Sweeney Todd

Arthur: West Side Story

John: Bonnie & Clyde

Finn: Beetlejuice

Ada: Six

Polly: Phantom of the Opera

Alfie: Fiddler on the Roof

Michael: Hamilton

Lizzie: Chicago

May: The Sound of Music

Grace: Anastasia

Esme: Legally Blonde

Linda: Mean Girls

Charlie: Newsies

Ruby: Wicked

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 57: Let Myself Be Happy

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

Tonight I gather up any last-minute supplies from the empty office. What else will I need to conduct business back home?

I walk past Thomas’ office and am surprised to find Thomas hunched over his desk. Um, what am I supposed to do now? Maybe he didn’t hear me-

“Here- Come here. Please.”

Too late. I take a breath and obey him to stand next to his desk. The entire time Thomas keeps his eyes directed at me. 

“I’m so sorry about Arthur. I don’t know what words can help-”

“I don’t need words,” Thomas whispers and holds out a hand to reach for me. “I just need serenity.”

I could give that to him… Just like before I left last time. Before he went back to buying love. Is… Is that what I’ve become? No, I am not his usual lady of the night. But I am still someone on his payroll whom he has not mentioned any word of love to. No. I am not going to give him my comfort so easily anymore.

“I’m afraid not,” I murmur and set more distance between us. Thomas looks like I just drove a knife through his heart, but I bury my feelings and push on. “I promise that my family will help keep Ada and Michael safe. There’s no war for us over there.”

Suddenly Thomas gets a new gleam in his eye. “No war… You just gave me a brilliant idea.”

He jumps up and starts pacing. Uh-oh. I know that look. It means he’s cooking up another scheme.

I raise an eyebrow. “Pray tell?”

Thomas shakes his head and heads to the phone. “Sorry. I need to keep this private right now, just in case. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” I start to slink away but he calls out again. “Oh. And tell Liam I need to meet with him.”

I stop dead in my tracks. “Liam? What do you possibly want-?”

“Overseas connection, please.” Thomas ignores me and speaks to the operator. “USA.”

I’ve got a strange feeling about this.

The sight of another Gypsy funeral wagon is too drearily familiar. Too soon. This family has had its share of death a thousand times over. It’s almost too ritual to be real. Everyone wears the same black attire and the same somber faces. Everything seems the same- Except for the approaching woman waving the white flag. 

Liam’s eyes narrow and he grips my hand tighter. “Time to go, Verena.”

“But-!”

“No. This is Shelby’s business. Not yours.”

He takes me back to the house and all but shuts me off in the kitchen. Is he serious? Liam must be taking a page out of Thomas’ book. He can’t just show up out of the blue and take over my job! All I can do is wait behind the door and try to listen to the muffled voices in the other room. What in the blazes-?

“Oh!” 

The kitchen door opens and I nearly fall into Finn.

“What happened? Please tell me something!”

Finn runs a hand through his hair. “That meeting I just came from was about the vendetta. They won’t stop until they take everything. If we don’t agree, we all die.”

Oh. There’s no room for negotiation. 

“Could we-?”

“If you have questions, go to Thomas.”

Finn walks off, leaving me baffled at his bluntness. Alright, then. I will. Um- Where did Thomas go?

“Liam!” I shout. “Broer! Liam! Am I ungrounded?”

No answer. Where is everybody? It’s like the meeting ended and everyone scattered! Well, I am not waiting around for more surprises.

I bundle up in my coat and jump in the car. I floor it and drive straight to the office, not even bothering to apologize for barging through the front door. I walk straight into Thomas’ room and spot him sitting with Polly. What are all those papers for?

“Thomas, what’s going on?” I demand. “Finn told me-”

Thud!

The door opens again and Lizzie storms in behind me.

Thomas looks between her and I. “You don’t knock?”

Lizzie ignores him and crosses her arms. “You don’t know my new address?”

Polly tries to smile. “Hello, Lizzie. How are you?”

Lizzie is not convinced. I'm not cooled off either.

Thomas sighs. “I know your address Lizzie because it was me who bought you the new fucking house.”

Her eyes flash. “Then why don’t you visit it?”

Thomas takes his time to shuffle some files. “I’ve been busy.”

Lizzie scoffs. “Busy doing what? Talking with her?” She points to me.

Polly holds her hand up to quiet her. “Preparing for tomorrow.”

The tall woman rolls her eyes. “What’s tomorrow?”

“Luca Changretta is coming to Birmingham,” Thomas announces. “It’s our turn.”

“He’s already taken over Alfie Solomons, Sabibi, the Titanics, all of them.”

Thomas writes more notes. “And now he’s coming to take control of Shelby Company Limited.”

Lizzie gives me another look and then lights a cigarette. “What are we going to do?”

“We’re gonna let him have it,” Thomas simply replies.

My heart sinks. “No. You can’t mean-”

“Why the fuck are you still here?” Lizzie barks.

Thomas and Polly talk over each other to defend me but I make my voice perfectly clear.

“Believe me, I want myself to leave just as much as you do,” I sneer at her. “But for the moment I am stuck here with my broer.”

“Go back to your own fucking country!” She hisses.

Polly gasps. “Lizzie!”

“No! She has nothing to do with this!”

“Actually, she does,” Thomas says and stands up to put a protective hand on my shoulder. “As much as Verena’s Irish side hates the Italians, I had her brother Liam reach out to Mr. Capone. To arrange something against Luca.”

Liam? Talking with the Italians? It- He- Thomas put him up to this? I stay frozen, staring at the cutter of papers littering the table. All these plans… And even my own broer knows more than me. Has he told Uncle Colon? Moeder or vader? 

“Verena, go back to the house,” Polly murmurs comfortingly. “You’ve done plenty. We promise everything will work out.”

Everything will… I don’t know what to think anymore. One minute I’m screaming my head off at Thomas’ thickheadedness, the next I’m left speechless to wonder what would have happened if I’d never come to Birmingham. 

Without a word I quietly exit the room despite Lizzie’s still-burning gaze. So much for staying out of this. I talked my family out of a vendetta only for Liam to jump in head-first. Such a shame that Changretta will more than likely face the business end of Thomas’ gun. If it weren’t for the sour terms he was actually a well-mannered man, for a mobster. 

“Hey, Verena!”

Outside the office I spot Bonnie leaning against the lamppost with Harry and some other Blinders. Good. I need to be around someone who won’t use me or keep me in the dark.

“Hello, Bonnie,” I greet softly, still dazed. “Keeping watch, I imagine?”

The dark-eyed Gypsy tips his hat. “That we are. By the way, we just left your brother waiting back at Watery Lane, if you’re looking for him.”

My eyes narrow. “I am, actually. And there is also something I need to tell you as well.” I take a breath. “I am planning to travel back to America, Bonnie.”

The news brings sadness to his eyes but I can already tell Bonnie understands my decision; why I need to do this. The other Peaky Blinders take the time to inch away and look at the ground. Bonnie, however, is not afraid to speak.

“I’ll write to you,” he says with an encouraging smile. “Promise me you’ll try to find a way to let yourself be happy.”

That does sound grand. But it’s not going to be easy when the one who makes me happy will be marrying another woman. Again.

The next day I officially start to pack. I dust off my trunk and neatly fold my winter clothes. Stockings, sweaters, my new coat. Lord. It must cost more than any of the clothes in our house! Oma is going to go crazy when she sees it!

“Veena?” Charlie pokes his head in the doorway. “Where are you going?”

Leaving this sweet boy is my only regret. Does Lizzie have enough love in her heart to give him? Will he bond well with his new sister?

“I need to go back to my thuis, Charlie. My home. I’m afraid I can’t say when I’ll be back.” If I’ll be back. “But I promise to write to you. Have you been reading the books I gave you?”

He nods eagerly. “Yeah!”

Just like Finn. I can’t let Charlie get too worked up over my departure.

“How about we get you a biscuit, eh?” 

I take his small hand and we head to the kitchen. Surprisingly, Thomas is still here. I don’t know when today’s arrangement is taking place but I will make a great effort to stay planted right here. My fleeting chat with Changretta left my nerves racing, so a meeting full of Italian crime members is something that will surely leave my head spinning.  

Thomas doesn’t even look up when Charlie leads me past him. I hand Charlie a cookie and turn to face the silent gangster. 

“I’m staying here today. Please believe me, my heart is with you and the others.” I can’t ignore my shaking hand and a touch of fear slips into my voice. “But I’m not going to face those men-”

“Easy, love.” Thomas reaches over to squeeze my hand. “‘S alright. I understand. Those men won’t harm you, I promise. You’re going to stay hidden until Arthur takes his shot.”

I nearly drop the cookie jar. “Wha-? Arthur?!”

“Shush! Shush.” Thomas holds a hand up to quiet me. “Yes. He is alive. We couldn’t tell you because we had to keep it secret.”

I feel my body beginning to break down. In a fit of shakes my lip trembles. “You trust me to watch Charlie but not with this?”

Thomas’ face falls and he tries to come closer. “Love-”

“No. No.”

I step back against the counter and keep from shouting in front of Charlie. Does Thomas think that just because Lizzie’s pregnant that I will still be the same? How can he expect me to give comfort when it’s obvious that he should be seeking out her? I am not going to turn over a new leaf just to amuse him!

“I waited to tell you but I will tell you right now. I am going back home.” I reach across the counter and hand him the file I’ve prepared. “I typed these up. They are alterations to my contract. I will continue doing business with Ada in America. Maybe other places too. Anywhere but here.”

I don’t need to elaborate why. He knows why. While Charlie happily munches on the cookie Thomas looks between him and I with hopeless regret in his eyes. I may be partially at fault for delaying to tell him how I feel, but he knows exactly what he did to make me leave. I will not be the other woman.

Thomas speaks so softly it’s almost hard to make out. “I’m sorry.”

I make an effort to create space between us and move Charlie along. “You have too many things to be sorry for. Your apology to me is only one of many that you need to make.”

I don’t need to tell you I love you anymore. I still do, but you don’t deserve to hear it.

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 49: What Do You Want?

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

I just saw some of these people only a few days ago. Now I must face them with a heavy heart. I take a deep breath and enter the dining room. Everyone is already sitting at the round dinner table with expecting looks. Johnny’s here. Polly changed her haircut. Lizzie, Ada, Uncle Charlie. Jeremiah and Isiah are in attendance. As well as one more familiar face.

“Finn, how are-oh!” 

I gasp when the young Shelby nearly squeezes all the air out of me in a tight hug. Everyone’s still looking, so I steer him off to the side to avoid more unwanted attention. When Finn finally lets me go I see just how much a year has aged him.

“It’s all changed, Verena,” he whispers dreadfully, shaking his head. “Nothing’s the same. Our family… Thank God you’re here.”

I squeeze his hand. “Shh, it’s okay. I’m going to help smooth things out. Where have you been staying?”

“I’ve been hanging around with Isiah. We’ve been studying some. I told him about all the books you showed me.”

For a moment I take in Finn’s face with a bittersweet gaze. It seems that every time I see him, the young boy I ran into all those years ago disappears little by little. Both Polly and I warned Thomas about this. Now it’s already starting to happen.

“You’ve grown up.”

Finn shrugs. “Had to. We all took a hit. After you left Tommy stopped talking. Guess he thought I’d hate him too. How’ve you been?”

Aside from possibly having my family threatened and just witnessing Thomas completely naked?

“Pleasantly well. It’s been nice to work from home but I knew I needed to be here, especially for the holidays. And now…”

Footsteps alert us back to the front of room. Thomas walks in and the atmosphere gets even more tense. Neither Finn nor I make a sound.

Thomas gives the crowd a once-over before speaking. But even when he does start he keeps his eyes down, still afraid to face his family.

“John is dead. Esme’s gone on the road with the Lees. She’s taken the kids. Michael is badly wounded, they say it’s 60/40 in his favor.”

“There’s no number, there’s no percentages,” Polly grunts. “So the hand, the hand beneath him stops falling. Spoke to someone… my son will live.”

Michael was right. Polly’s scattered mind is jumping from one dimension to another.

Thomas continues nonetheless. “Michael and John were shot because we killed someone. Vincenzo Changretta. His son Luca has come to take revenge. Men from New York and Sicily are here in Birmingham. These men will not leave our city until our whole family is dead. That’s how it works. An eye for an eye.”

Lizzie narrows her eyes at me. “What about her?”

My mournful face turns cold. “My family’s Irish side is an enemy of the black hand too.”

“It’s called a vendetta,” Thomas explains.

“Yeah, well, the bullet’s been written,” Arthur declares and holds up the bullet in question. “It says Luca. When the time comes, and it will come, me as the oldest brother, will put it into his fucking head.”

Thomas takes a breath. “There’s been some bad blood between us.”

Polly starts outright laughing and ignores Arthur’s small pleas to quiet down. Thomas gives me a quick look but I honestly don’t know what to say. 

“Until this business is settled, we stick together. We stay here… Small Heath, Bordesley, Hay Mills down to Greet. We know every face, every man has a soldier in his army. These men are professionals, so we’re gonna need more than what we have. I sent a message to Aberama Gold.”

Johnny’s face jerks up and I can already tell he does not agree. “No! No, Tom. I can get ya 50 Lee boys. You need good men-!”

“No, Johnny. For this I need bad men,” Thomas states plainly.

“Tommy, his people are fucking savages! You know, heavens, Tom.”

“So this is the plan, Thomas?” Polly slurs and stands on uneven feet. “This is the plan? Bullet with a name on it, help from a bunch of savages.”

I don't care if we ask complete nutjobs to shoot these people! 

“Moss is putting the word out, eyes and ears so we can find them. The truth is that the coppers don’t give a fuck about us. Which means… that here today in this room, we have to agree to end this war between us. Take a vote.”

There it is. This is what I’ve been pushing for. From my spot next to Finn I show Thomas my proudest smile. He subtly gives me a look that seems to ask if he sounded legit. I respond with a slow nod and he anxiously waits to hear the others’ responses.

Arthur is quick to answer. “Peace.”

The answer is slowly passed around the table. Finn agrees too, even if he never had a falling out with Thomas, and is told to be quiet.

Finn scrunches his brow. “Why can’t I say peace?”

“Arthur, let him have his say,” Thomas says and gestures to an empty seat. “Finn? Sit at the table.”

He gives me a quick glance. Did we both hear that right? Goodness. Finn’s been waiting so long to have a seat. If only it weren’t under such grim tidings.

Finn sits down and Arthur grabs his head. “Little bastard.” They both share knowing smiles.

Polly speaks up. “My son’s not here to speak. So I’ll speak on behalf of us both. Truce.”

Across the room Linda catches my eye. Unlike Lizzie, her gaze is not full of bitterness. Instead she looks confused.

“Five for peace. Two for truce. One abstention.” Thomas gives the table one last nod. 

“Why don’t you go home?” Linda bluntly asks me.

Now everyone’s looking at me. I try to inch towards the edge of the room but Thomas gently grabs my arm. He doesn't have to say anything. I can’t be ashamed of being here.

“I-”

“She can’t. The Italians are there too.” Thank you, Polly!

“Let’s get on with the war.”

Thomas releases me and rushes out before I can stop him. Let him go, Verena. Remember Thomas copes with things alone.

For all of the funerals I have attended, a Gypsy funeral seems to be the most recollective kind. We’re gathered in a clearing at the edge of town. Two horses decorated in giant headdresses pull a wagon containing John’s body and a collection of his personal effects. It’s not like Grace or Aunt Eleanor’s funerals. Instead of shoveling dirt onto a coffin it’s like a tribute celebrating John’s life. The custom of black clothes is still followed. As much as I want to mourn properly, I can’t help but wonder why this was chosen to be in a place so… exposed.

“This is how John wanted to go,” Thomas begins. “On the smoke. The truth is, we died together once before. Arthur, me, Danny Whizbang, Freddie Thorne, Jeremiah, and John. We were cut off from the retreat. No bullets left, waiting for the Prussian cavalry to come and finish us off.”

Memories of vader’s stories come flooding back. All the things he heard in the medic tent… I can only imagine what kind of evils were on the battlefield.

“And while we waited… Jeremiah said ‘we should sing 'In The Bleak Midwinter.’ But we were spared. The enemy never came. And we all agreed that everything after that was extra. And when our time came, we would all remember-”

“You would remember the extra time that God gave you,” Polly says bitterly. “But what did you do with that extra time, eh Thomas?”

Thomas doesn’t answer. Instead he stays silent as the match is tossed and flames begin spreading over the wagon. This doesn’t seem right. I just saw John a few days ago, and now he’s gone. Goodbye, John. Wherever you are, we will not forget you. And I will pray for Esme-

Bang!

A gunshot rings out and I flinch towards the sound. Half the crowd screams and the others draw their guns. Me included. Where did it come from? No one seems to be hurt- 

“At ease! At ease!” Thomas holds up his hands. “Do not return fire. I repeat, do not return fire! The men doing the firing are on our side.”

Bang! Another shot signals another death.

“I took the trouble of giving an invitation to Aberaman Gold.”

Johnny Doggs scoffs. “Fuck. Now it’s begun.”

Polly shares his disbelief. “You put this out here on purpose. Use John’s funeral as a fucking beacon. You set a trap!”

A trap… During this time of mourning? I’m about to slap him! What is this world coming to? Do these monsters have no morals?

Thomas ignores her and points to Finn. “Finn! Finn, go to the yard and light the fires.”

The young Shelby looks between him and Polly with unease. Eventually Finn does start walking and I follow him to avoid Polly as she storms over and continues to scream at Thomas. 

“How are you feeling, Finn?”

He lets out a shaking breath. “I’m torn, Verena. Part of me is sick of this headache. All this death. But then I can’t walk away. I want more.”

Something about the way he says that does not sit right. “More?”

“Yeah. They’re finally letting me be a part of things. Who knows what else I can do.”

“Finn,” I speak with a firm warning and put a hand on his shoulder. “More is not always the answer. Sometimes it’s the little things that amount to happiness. Like family.”

Finn grunts and keeps walking away. “Yeah. Family. Just look at how we’re still broken.”

I turn around to see where he was looking. He’s right. Linda’s trying to walk away despite Arthur’s orders to stay. 

Linda shoves Ada away when she tries to stop her. “I’m going home to the country-”

“You will stay here until it’s over,” Ada orders and thrusts over a house key. “Take the fucking key, Linda.”

I catch up to them and Linda gets even more irritated. “You married into this. Whether or not you think you’ve changed Arthur, you cannot change the rest of this family.”

Ada nods. “They will take you hostage. And the baby. They will use the baby. Take it. Put the kettle on, wait for your husband.”

With a tartly smile, Linda stiffly takes the key. “The only way you Shelbys will ever leave this place is in a cloud of smoke like John.” She gives me a pitiful pout. “And you, Verena, I’m surprised you’re still here. Why aren’t you with your own family?”

My eyes narrow and my mouth presses into a line. “They are safe in America under my uncle’s watch.”

“And for the record, we are her family too.” Ada puts a hand on my shoulder. “You're Shelby too, Linda.”

I smile at her kindness and shake my head at Linda’s eye roll. “I don’t know why you keep thinking you can change Arthur.”

“Oh, like how you try to change Thomas? You slip your morals and Christian values into your relationship with him, expecting him to catch on.” Linda sneers gleefully. “But he won’t.”

Are all women this dramatic? “I know he won’t. I know I can’t change this family. But I can stand by them.”

Linda doesn’t respond. She keeps walking away while Ada follows, giving me an apologetic look before they round the corner. The rest of the funeral attendees start dwindling back to town, leaving me to be escorted to wherever the Peaky Blinders are off to. I follow them to a scrap yard and try to ignore the terrible ash and smoke clogging my lungs. And I thought Brooklyn was filthy. 

At the center of the dirty yard a line of mismatched tables and chairs is set with plates and bottles of whiskey. I take a look around and notice Finn is missing.

“Where’s Finn?” I ask Thomas, who’s starting to smoke another cigarette.

“I sent him with Curly to dump the bodies.”

Why does the thought of Finn handling corpses not seem right? “It’s gracious of you to let him in on more responsibility, but please remember to keep it at bay. Finn doesn’t need to-”

“Verena, love, you can’t decide Finn’s future,” Thomas interrupts with stern annoyance. “He’s growing into a man. You’ve taught him well and now it’s time for him to take on a man’s world.”

Just then I hear footsteps behind me and Thomas pushes me aside to begin talking to someone. I huff in frustration and take a seat next to a few chatting Blinders.

“Everything alright, Ms. Steenstra?” Harry asks and tilts his rifle on his shoulder.

“Nothing I can control, apparently,” I mutter, staring at the muddy footprints.

“Well well, what have we here?” The new voice is directed at me.

I look up to face a tall man in a brown trench coat and matching homburg. His long, graying hair is quite unique than the other Peaky Blinders’, adding another noticeable difference between the two groups in the yard: The Peaky Blinders dressed in dapper suits, and this new man with three others dressed in much more modest attire. He walks up to me despite Harry making a performance of clutching his gun and looks me up and down.

“Aberama Gold,” he introduces himself with a devious look. “And who might you be? Or should I ask how much would you be?”

Thomas clears his throat. “Not for sale.”

My eyes narrow at him. “I can hear just fine.” I turn back to look at Mr. Gold. “If you think there is a price on any man’s head then you are gravely mistaken, sir.”

“I don’t see a man. I see a very fine woman.”

Thomas clears his throat again and walks over to stand behind him. “This woman is not afraid to bite back. Stay away.”

Mr. Gold does not. Instead he reaches out to grip my shoulder as one might do to a man. “You’re sturdy for a little thing.”

I jerk back and make a move of reaching for my pistol. “Do not tempt me!”

“Back off.” Mr. Gold’s face flinches into a sneer and he goes back to talking with Thomas. “You tell Mr. Strong that I’m going to buy his yard.”

Just how strong-headed is this man? He can’t just waltz in here and try to buy Uncle Charlie’s yard!

Thankfully Thomas is still not moved. “This yard has been in his family since they settled.”

Gold smirks. “But now it’s part of our deal.”

Thomas beckons to his uncle. “Charlie, come here.”

Uncle Charlie begrudgingly wipes his hands on a rag and strides over from where he’s working. From the look on his face I can tell he’s as uneasy as I am around Mr. Gold.

“I’m gonna spin a coin for your yard, Charlie,” Thomas says. 

“You going to what?” His uncle asks in disbelief.

“If it’s heads, he takes this all with my blessing. And if it’s tails, I fuck your daughter, Mr. Gold.”

Excuse me? 

My eyebrows go sky-high and it’s all I can do to keep my jaw from dropping. Mr. Gold and the man next to him are obviously just as surprised, though their reactions are far more grim. I can’t listen to any more. There’s no changing Thomas’ mind. If this is how business with these men are to be carried out then I want no part of it.

I stand from my seat and walk off to the canal. Sadly I will have to wait here until this wretched meeting is over. It’s too dangerous for me to go back alone-

“Hello, miss. Hope you don’t mind chatting.”

It’s the younger man. One with dark hair and keen eyes, wearing a brown waistcoat and a hat similar to Mr. Gold’s. If he wants to ‘chat’ about another coin toss-!

“I’m Bonnie Gold.” 

He holds out a hand for me to shake, which I eye skeptically. “Verena Steenstra. You are Mr. Gold’s son, I imagine?” 

“Ay. Good to meet you, miss,” he smiles. “You have very pretty eyes.”

Goodness. Where did this behavior come from? I’ve only known Bonnie for thirty seconds and he’s like a split opposite of his father. 

“Thank you, Bonnie. At least you’ve got some manners about you.”

He takes the liberty to stand closer and eyes me with curiosity. “I’ve never met an American before. You’re much more, um…”

I crack a smile. “Sporadic?”

“On the contrary, you’re very put-together. If that makes sense?” He pauses a moment. “Um, how old are you?”

“Just turned 23 this October.”

Bonnie’s eyes widen. “Oh! Um, you’re older than I thought.”

What is it with everyone getting my age confused? I suppose this is what happens when you’re forced to grow up too fast. I must say for a young man Bonnie seems quite put-together himself. Much like Finn, in a way. Only he seems much more calm to handle things.

“You’re not a Peaky Blinder, are you?” He observes.

I shake my head. “Not officially. Just someone who lends a hand to the Shelby Company Limited. I’m the foreign representative.”

“Makes sense.” Bonnie tilts his head. “Would you want to join the fight?”

“And bring more violence into my life? I am perfectly fine with persevering oral battles rather than the guts and glory of what the Shelbys do. I can make just as much a difference with meeting in New York than with a pistol duel. Less blood.”

Bonnie gives a halfhearted chuckle and takes a quick look behind us. “I guess I’m used to blood. You’ve never met my father, but he is one of the best hitmen around here.”

Which is why Thomas hired him. Despite Mr. Gold’s bold introduction I must trust Thomas’ judgment that he will fulfill his assignment. 

“So he can protect us from Changretta?” I ask softly.

This makes Bonnie’s confidence melt into concern. “You’re involved in this too? Why?”

“It’s a long story. Basically my employment to the company ties me into the vendetta against the Shelbys.”

Bonnie’s mouth presses into a thin line and he gently puts a hand on my shoulder. A far contrast from how his father did. 

“We do not agree to consentingly involve women or children with violence like this. Verena, I promise no one will harm you. My father can handle this.”

Although I tense up at his touch I still value his kindness. “My own safety is not my concern. It’s my family back home I’m worried about.”

“Then we’ll kill these bastards off before they can try anything.”

His words bring a small smile to my grim face. Why do I have to be in a vendetta in order to meet men as caring as this?

“I appreciate the support, Bonnie. Thank you.”

“Oi! Stay back!”

We both flinch just as Thomas storms over and causes Bonnie to hurry back to his father. Mr. Gold looks between Bonnie and I with surprise. What the actual Hell is the matter now?

“Aberama, keep your men from her,” Thomas barks and stands in front to block me from view as the hitmen group starts to sit at the tables.

“Thomas!” I smack his shoulder. “We were just talking.”

“And now you’re not,” he states plainly. 

That cocky lul! So he can sleep with countless women but Heaven forbid I talk to another man!

“That’s not fair! It’s- I- Ugh.” I hold my aching head in defeat and try to ignore my anger. “Please tell me Mr. Gold refused the deal.”

“No wager today.”

“Thank Christ. How can you suggest such a thing? His daughters have no part in this-”

“Your family has no part in the mob business. How’s that treating ‘em, eh?”

My head snaps up and my blazing glare combats Thomas’ ice-cold one. “Watch your words, Thomas. They just might dig your grave.”

I shove past him and take a seat next to Arthur. He takes the hint that I’m in no mood to talk and leaves me alone. In the back I see Polly, Ada, and Lizzie being escorted over by some other Blinders. Ada looks pleasantly happy, but the others do not seem impressed. They take their own seats and try to ignore the rugged men at the end of the tables. All except Polly. She’s deciding to stand back and stubbornly sits down on a bench. She won’t let John’s death go. So this is how Boxing Day is spent.

I catch Thomas looking over at her and I swear I’m about to push him over there myself.

“Go to her, Thomas. Talk.” My tone offers no negotiation.

“Alright, alright.”

He stands up to go chat and apparently that’s Lizzie’s cue to start a conversation with me.

“So, Verena. Do you plan to stay long or does Tommy already have you stationed halfway around the world?”

Oh, she is so hoping for it. Sorry to rain on your parade Lizzie but I have much more deep concerns than picking a fight with you. It’s like arguing with Grace all over again. I am here to help this family! Not to give in to blindful lust!

“Hasn’t mentioned it, actually,” I answer wittily and innocent. “He wants me to stay here where it’s safe until this mob business is sorted out. I’ll do any work he needs here but I do want to be back in time for Easter.”

Lizzie hums in response and turns away to talk with Ada. Is that how things work? Every woman Thomas looks at is supposed to be set up in a line of competing mistresses? I- 

“Verena, has Edmund Colon said anything about the Sicilians?” Arthur interrupts my thoughts.

I give a low huff. “You sound like Thomas. No, not a thing. Maybe my broer tipped him off not to say anything. In fact I’m lucky to be here at all. My family’s not too fond of me working for Shelby Company Limited.”

Drip. Drip. Storm clouds roll in and rain starts to fall. So much for a festive meal. 

“I’m heading back to the house,” I declare and give Arthur a pat on the shoulder. “Tell Thomas, wherever he is, that I’ll be escorted back.”

Just then Bonnie hops up from the table and walks over to offer an arm. “Can I be of service?”

I look around to be sure Thomas is not around. Another fit of jealousy is not something I want to encounter again. I mean, it’s not as if Thomas has officially claimed any love for me. No doubt his actions towards me hint at love but no words have clarified it. 

“I would appreciate it, Bonnie.” I accept his arm and we begin walking back to Watery Lane.

Maybe my road in life isn’t set so straight. I’ve only met Bonnie for barely a day and he’s already shown so much compassion. It’s no doubt that he does not share Thomas’ suave aura or captivating eyes; but at this point I am starting to lose patience. When I first met Thomas it took weeks for him to completely open up about anything. Hell, he sometimes bottles things up even now. Thomas wants me to listen. Well, I’m tired of being expected to sit and listen like a trained dog! Maybe it’s time to follow his words and start to think about what I want.

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 51: A Promotion

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

The morning wakes me up with winter sunlight streaming through the curtains. As usual I dress and prepare a small breakfast, though this time I have a plan to head to the hospital straight away. Thomas must have already left for the office.

“Morning!” A voice calls from the hall.

“Finn? What are you doing here?”

The young man pokes his head into the kitchen. “Tommy sent me to watch Charlie while you go to the meeting. He also said he’s sending some men to escort you.”

“Oh! Alright, then. I was heading out now anyway.” I grab my wool coat and the scarf oma sent with me. It’s definitely colder out. “Charlie’s still asleep. I’ve got some leftovers if you’re hungry.”

Finn sees me about to close the door and starts panicking. “I would wait until an escort arrives!”

I start to respond but then hear footsteps behind me. “Mind if I join you?”

It’s Bonnie. Same curious eyes, same brown coat. What’s different now is that he’s wearing the iconic Peaky Blinder cap. Did Thomas send him? Surely not. Not after my last encounter with him.  Still, if I am in need of an escort I would much rather have one who is willing to talk instead of just following me around.

“Not at all,” I reply and call back to Finn. “An escort just arrived. I’ll be back later.”

Finn nods and goes back to the kitchen. I shut the door and look around for the car Thomas promised. There, parked down the street, is a brand-spanking-new black Bentley. God, Thomas. You know I don’t react well to charity. Did you have to buy me a car that’s so… luxurious? Hell, a beat-up truck would do just fine.

I climb inside and gesture for Bonnie to join me. Once he sits down the engine purrs to life and I begin driving down Watery Lane.

“What brings you to the neighborhood?”

“I followed Finn here. I was talking with him and a few others earlier.” Bonnie tips his new hat at me. “I’m now officially a Peaky Blinder.”

I have the intention to offer whole-hearted congratulations but find it sad to see another young man being coursed into the brutal gang. Bonnie’s only a few years older than Finn, who has already begun to change.

“This must be a big change for you,” is the best I can offer.

“Definitely. So… What is it that you like to do?” Bonnie asks, looking at me and ignoring the passing wanderers outside.

“I dabble in embroidery, reading, baking. The typical stuff from where I’m from.” I scoff halfheartedly. “My moeder prepped me to be a suitable housewife, and instead I’m working for a razor gang.”

Bonnie scrunches his face in confusion. “‘Moeder?’”

“It’s Dutch for mother,” I explain shyly. “I apologize if any more terms slip out. I’ve been trying to learn more over the past few years. The Shelbys always speak Rukka so now I have a part of my own culture.”

Bonnie nods in understanding. “I like that. Being one who has three sisters, I respect how you’re not jumping in to settle down.”

“Thank you,” I reply sincerely and see the hospital coming into view. “What is it that you like to do?”

“I’m a fighter. I actually just got placed in a fight that Mr. Shelby is arranging,” Bonnie states proudly and playfully nudges my shoulder. “Don’t let my size fool you. I may be small but I can hold my own.”

I can’t help but laugh as I park the car. “My broers would love to meet you, then. They grew up fighting in Brooklyn's streets by the time they were thirteen. At least your kind of fighting is regulated. I can’t count how many times I had to nurse multiple black eyes.”

Our laughter dies out as I step out of the car. Bonnie does the same and we stand idly next to the sidewalk. I’m unfamiliar with how to, how you say, wrap up small talk. I’m so used to educational lectures or business talks that laid-back chatter seems strange to me.

I point to the front door. “This is my stop. Unfortunately Thomas is coming for a meeting and I don’t think he’d-”

“I understand,” Bonnie says with a small smile as he starts walking off. “It was good to see you, Verena.”

“See you later, Bonnie.”

I march up the wet steps into the dim hospital halls. What am I to make of what just happened? Is Bonnie chatting me up just to be nice or is he showing interest for other reasons? I must say I’m flattered by his extension of friendship… Yet at the same time something seems to pull me back. But what?

“Ah! Hello, Verena,” Michael greets as I enter his room, just passing by an exiting nurse with a very flushed face. He’s dressed in plaid pajamas sitting at a table. Am I too early?

“Hello, Michael. I must apologize for not visiting sooner.”

He waves it off. “No, it’s fine. I’ve been busy keeping up with company records anyway.”

I sneak another glance at the girl outside. “Your nurse seems to treat you well.”

“You could say that.”

Just then Thomas walks in, wearing glasses. It’s a sight I’m still coming to terms with. Almost as if it’s a symbol to show that time is passing much too fast.

“Ah, you’re here. Now all we’ve gotta do is wait for the others,” Thomas says as he sheds his coat and tosses some files onto the table.

“Think Polly will be accepting?” Michael asks.

“We’ll see. Oh, there’s one more thing. I’ve been sworn in as the Small Heath Coordinator of the Organization of the Maintenance of Supplies.”

I get a smug look and put my hands on my hips. “A badge job? Fancy. Look at you, Mr. Man of the Law.” 

Thomas rolls his eyes. “Haha, very funny. I hope the car is to your liking?”

I can’t help but huff at his generosity. “Now who’s the funny one? Thomas, you didn’t have to-”

“Too late. It’s yours,” Thomas declares triumphantly as the door opens again.

Polly, Ada, and Lizzie walk in. Why do I suddenly want to leave and go talk with Bonnie again? Don’t get me wrong, Ada’s a terrific friend. But combining these women with someone like Thomas is like adding a match to a barrel of gunpowder. Ada, being the perceptive person she is, slides me a glass of whiskey. Although I doubt even this will get me through the next hour. I really hope this meeting is as important as Thomas led on.

“Sorry I’m late,” Polly drolls halfheartedly as she sheds her coat.

Thomas looks around expectedly. “Where’s Arthur?”

Polly scoffs. “Do I look like his fucking mother?”

Thomas ignores her. “Right. Before we start this extraordinary general meeting of the Board of the Shelby Company Limited-”

“And her?” Lizzie cuts him off and gives me a cold stare. So help me God, I am so close to snapping at her-!

“I’m getting to that,” Thomas answers smoothly and continues. “I’d like to note the absence of the Deputy Vice President who has not yet arrived. We will continue without his presence. Item number one: the reinstatement of the Shelby Company Limited company treasurer. The board welcomes back the treasurer with generously improved terms and conditions. Due to the exceptionally difficult circumstances the company now finds itself in.”

Across the table Michael and I exchange looks. Difficult circumstances? Polly’s coming out of a drug addiction, John is dead, and we’re being hunted by the Sicilian mob. As much as I want to stand by Thomas during this dark predicament I also cannot ignore the fact that it has been some of his own decisions that have led to this.

“They will now check the terms and conditions to see if they are in order. Item number two: during the absence of the company accountant due to ill health, all responsibility for the keeping of company accounts passes to the head of acquisitions.” Thomas shuffles some files and passes them to Polly. “Item number three: the company treasurer lodges a signed contract of employment. All those in favor of the reinstatement of Mrs. Elizabeth Gray to the position of company treasurer of Shelby Company Limited please raise your hands.”

Thomas and Michael raise their hands, followed by Lizzie and Ada. Um, why do I need to be here? My job doesn’t hold any authority for these votes.

“No one objects,” Thomas declares.

Polly, with a plain face, drones sarcastically. “Why, goodness, thank you.”

“Now, to the last matter. Item number four: the official instatement of Verena Nora Steenstra as head of international relations.”

What?

Thomas pulls out another file and has Ada pass it to me. My name’s written on the top. Is he serious? I mean, the gesture is really sweet and will provide proof that my job is legit. Not to mention the benefits. But does this have to come up at a time when I’m trying to protect my family?

“They too are offered generous terms and conditions, due to the recent circumstances of the company and their family,” Thomas says in a softer tone, looking right at me. “They will now check the terms and conditions to see if they are in order.”

Yes, these conditions all look reasonable. Good pay, travel insurance, paid time off. He even added mandatory visits for me to see my family over holidays.

“They will also sign a contract of employment. All those in favor of the instatement of Verena Nora Steenstra to the position of head of international relations please raise your hand.”

Polly and Ada immediately join Thomas in raising their hands. Michael gives me a small smile and raises his hand. Lizzie, however, is the last to do so with a very tartly frown.

Polly smiles at me and holds up her glass to toast me. “No objections.”

“Any other business?” Thomas asks and takes our dead silence as his answer. “Right. I declare this extraordinary general meeting over. Now we can talk real business, but for that we need Arthur. Where the fuck is he?”

I look over to see a nurse poke her head in, looking at Lizzie’s cigarette. “Sorry ladies, there’s no smoking in here.”

Polly gets up and goes to shut the door. “Yes love, we know.”

“He’s an hour late,” Thomas grunts and leans against the table. “Fuck. This business affects Arthur, but we’ll take a vote without him.”

Ada’s eyes narrow. “What business?”

Polly points a finger and her and I. “Business that wasn’t on your agenda, Ada. You too, Verena.”

Next thing I know Thomas is handing me a family photograph. “An informant told us that six years ago, Luca Changretta came from New York to Birmingham to be best man at his cousin’s wedding.”

“I persuaded the photographer to give us copies,” Polly explains and points to a particular member. “That is Luca Changretta.”

He looks just like the other members I’ve seen in Brooklyn. Dark hair, sharp suit, dead eyes.

“These are the people who are trying to kill us. We need to get these photographs out on street corners and in pubs, and offer a reward for information.” 

“We will also give one to Mr. Gold,” Polly adds.

Thomas nods. “We have to forget the idea that it has to be Arthur to pull the trigger. Tradition will just fuck us up. We need Luca Changretta dead. That’s it.”

If we’re not relying on tradition and Mr. Gold is going to help then maybe I can call for some reinforcements as well.

I raise my hand. “I could ask my uncle to send reinforcements.”

“No, love. Our men can do the fighting,” Thomas assures. “Your family can stand aside. All those in favor of giving the photograph to Mr. Gold, raise your hand.” Once again we all agree. “Then it will be done.”

Polly grabs her hat and gives Michael a look. “I smelled perfume when I came in. Who was in here, Michael?”

Michael starts to think of what to say but Thomas speaks for him. 

“The truth is that the woman who raised him came to visit and give him fucking apples. Now please drop it,” he states firmly and Polly starts walking out crossly. “We are in the middle of a vendetta and Arthur is missing. We need to find him. Concentrate on what unites us. This is all temporary.”

Polly, unconvinced, scoffs. “Temporary. Right.”

With that she struts out, followed by Lizzie. Ada gives me a discrete thumbs up and walks out too. 

“Get well, Michael,” I wave and follow Thomas once he gathers up the papers. After a moment of echoing footsteps we exit the hospital and step out into the stiff cold. “Thank you. For making me official.”

Thomas doesn’t look at me. He keeps a thousand-yard stare and when he does speak it sounds much sadder. “You deserve it. You shouldn’t have to be tied up in this world.”

I tilt my head in consideration. “I chose to be here. My family didn’t. That is why I’m worried.”

“Love, you need to value your life too. Not just your family’s safety.” I feel Thomas’ hand on my shoulder and I fight the urge to face him. “Verena, you cannot use your life as a bargaining chip.”

“Oh really? It doesn’t seem too far fetched from something you might try,” I reason back with sass.

Suddenly Thomas goes stiff and grabs me with both hands. “I’m serious. I am not going to let you get killed because you’re too selfless to value your own life.”

I feel my heartbeat accelerating. If my life is so important then why does this empty feeling never go away? Despite Thomas’ efforts to show appreciation they lack the kind of tender emotion I’m looking for.

“If my life is worth more than my job then why don’t I believe you?” 

Thomas’ brow furrows in deep thought and he licks his lips before answering. “You can’t.”

No one can trust him. That’s what he means? I’m not dealing with this right now.

“You are testing my patience,” I murmur darkly and push away, walking back to my car. “Sooner or later I may just go over your head.”

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 48: Vulnerable

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

(Warning: mention of nudity)

The next day brings more clouds and a chilly cold snap. I will say it’s interesting to see the neighboring families celebrate their Boxing Day traditions through the window. The Shelbys must not do so much, either that or their festivities have been canceled due to John’s untimely death. And to top it off, Liam graces me with another phone call. This time with bad news from our side of the pond.

“Oh my God.”

Thomas, having just woken up, pokes his head out of his room. “What is it?”

One thing my eyes have to notice is his bare neck. Is he completely bare? Do not stare. Do not stare. There are far more important matters at hand.

“I just got off the phone with my broer Liam. There’s been an attack at home. You’ve heard of the White Hand? The gang Uncle Colon’s involved with?”

“Yeah.”

“The story goes that Wild Bill Lovett, their leader, was replaced by his brother-in-law Richard ‘Peg Leg’ Lonergan. After he took over, the gang’s become a shell of what it used to be. Far less organized.” Thomas gets the point so I stop rambling. “Anyways, back in Brooklyn there’s a popular joint called the Adonis Social Club. Last night Peg Leg showed up drunk and the Italians didn’t take it well. There was a gunfight. Now they’ve taken the waterfront.”

If this keeps up, Uncle Colon won’t be able to use Brooklyn's hidden trading port. Which means vader will have to import liquor from someplace in Canada where alcohol is legal.

However, Thomas’ first question is not about business. “Did you know anyone who was killed?”

I have to replay his words again and nod. “Joseph Howard. Or as he was known, ‘Ragtime Joe Howard.’ My family didn’t mind if I hung around the Italian neighborhood as long as there were no mafia members around. Joseph and I were friends as kids but he wanted more of the mob life.”

Thomas wants to come closer but is still indecent to do so. His head vanishes for a split second and he returns with a bathrobe draping his toned frame. Moeder would be furious if she were to know I was this close to an improperly dressed man. But my mind looks beyond the giddy thoughts of a teenager and instead stresses further about my family back home.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Thomas says softly. There is far too much death in this life.

I have to squeeze my eyes shut to keep from bursting into anxious tears. “‘S not just that. Capone has always hated the Irish mob. Even though we’re not officially part of it, my family is still at risk. When he sees my connection to your vendetta, my family is going to have a hit put on them. Every one of us.”

Thomas grabs my clenched hands and waits until I look up with teary eyes to speak.

“If I could I’d send people to go protect them. I know you want to be with them, Verena. If I were you I’d want to be with my family too. But it’s still too dangerous. Like you said, the mafia will notice you’re involved with our family. It’s safer for everyone if we all stick together. If Changretta ever makes contact I swear I will speak to him about your family.”

My eyes widen. “That could make things worse! If they know you value my family then they might do the same thing they plan to do to yours.”

Thomas lets out a sharp sigh. “Let’s just worry about one thing at a time, love. The meeting’s in half an hour, maybe our questions can be solved through that. Just be patient with me, eh?”

I swallow heavily and nod to show I understand. Thomas nods in return, slowly releases my hands, and walks back to his room. No words can describe how conflicted I am. I came here to mend bridges and instead this vendetta keeps burning them. As much as part of me wants to help Thomas and be with the others while they mourn John, I cannot ignore the calling of my own family. Liam sounded so worried. No, my life is not worth all of theirs. But if being tied to the Shelbys is going to pin them to a death threat then how am I supposed to bargain my life?

“Veena!” Charlie sprints into the hall. “Can we hide and seek again?”

I hastily wipe away my unshed tears and force a smile. “I thought you’d have figured out all the hiding places by now, Charlie.”

“No! I’ve still got ideas.”

I follow him to the parlor and take a seat on the sofa. “Alright, then. I’ll start counting.”

Charlie shakes his head. “That’s okay. You can hide first. One. Two. Three…”

Oh! He’s not giving me a head start. I dash out of the room and start to rack my brain for a place to hide. Unlike Charlie I do not have the advantage of being able to squeeze into such small spaces. My best places have been on high shelves and underneath folded bedding in closets. 

I carefully tiptoe to Thomas’ room. Is he still in the bathroom? Would he mind if I popped in to hide? Surely Charlie will discover me here in a matter of minutes so there shouldn’t be any harm. 

“Here I come!”

No time to wait! I quietly turn the doorknob and sneak into the dimly lit room. In the corner I spot a large armchair that’s the perfect size to hide behind-

Then I hear the sound of water. Why is there water here-? Oh my God.

Thomas is in here. Lying in a tub, smoking a cigarette, staring at the ceiling. Completely bare. 

He obviously saw me come in but raises no alarm to my intrusion. Or the fact that I’ve disturbed him in such a state.

My face turns bright pink but the absence of light does well to hide my shock. 

“Oh! I’m so sorry- I’m just- It’s my turn to hide, and-”

“‘S alright,” Thomas replies nonchalantly and takes a puff on his cigarette. How is he so calm?! “Not the first person to see me.”

Yes. See him. All of him. This is the first time my virgin eyes have seen a man who is not part of my family. As a logical person, I can see how Thomas’ toned figure can cause him to be intimidating and ready for a fight. As a curious woman, I cannot stop the natural reaction that I’m certain all women have from Thomas. It’s no wonder why he’s so cocky- figuratively and literally. Half of me wants to look away shamefully while the other half wants to memorize this vulnerable moment in great detail. His eyes still hold the burdens of ten men. 

What intrigues me most are his tattoos. The dark markings stand out against his pale, wet skin. The only person I know of in my family who has one is Uncle Colon. A Celtic cross on his wrist, similar to the one on my pendant. The idea of tattoos is completely obscure from the rest of my family. I almost want to ask if each of Thomas’ tattoos have a special meaning.

But my mind is far too flustered and embarrassed to think of anything other than immediately getting out of here.

“Right. Um- I’ll just go hide somewhere else-”

“Found you!”

Charlie’s sudden entrance startles me and I nearly tumble backwards into the dresser. The small boy laughs at my clumsiness but then lets out a big yawn.

“Did you wake up too early?” I ask in a pointed tone, putting my hands on my hips and trying to forget my embarrassment.

Charlie gets a sheepish look. “I couldn’t sleep.”

I glance back at Thomas, who gives me a look that says Charlie is at the age when he has no normal sleep schedule. No wonder Thomas has been stressed from little sleep too.

“Well then, how about you take a nap while your daddy and I go to a meeting in the parlor?” I usher him to the creaky bed and start to tuck him in, despite his look of protest. “Trust me Charlie, it’s going to be so dull. So much talking.”

He scrunches his nose at the thought and yawns again. Within a few minutes Charlie’s already fallen asleep.

Knock knock. 

Lord, now who is it?

“Tommy,” Michael’s muffled voice comes from the other side of the door. “They’ve gathered.”

This is happening so soon. Thomas doesn’t give any verbal reply. He just sighs and takes a drink, eyes still on the ceiling. I think I’m slowly growing used to seeing him without clothes.

I approach from behind. “Would you like me to go out first? Try to calm the approaching storm?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Thomas mutters and finally looks up to see the concern painted on my face, a trait he matches with his own. “Thank you for being here. You’re not family but you're still here.”

“John reminded me of my own broers. I grieve for him too.” Thomas starts to get up and I turn my head to offer privacy; although he clearly pays no thought to that. Something else I notice is that he has nothing laid out to wear. “Would you like a robe?”

At first I think Thomas will take advantage of the situation to mock my modest character or reprimand me for not knocking earlier. Instead of being stunned or ashamed he walks around with a stance that says he doesn’t mind being clothless. Almost as if he’s daring me to look at him. Deep down I feel grateful for the unspoken trust he's placed in me. Not only to see him like this but to also accept his fear of facing his family.

“A towel, please,” Thomas requests kindly, as if asking for a cup of tea.

Makes sense. I’ve already seen him. Why cover up now?

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 44: Season's Greetings

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

December 24, 1925

Liverpool Docks

“Ready, Ada?”

Ada wraps her fox fur coat around her shoulders to combat the cold wind. “Are you? It’s been a whole year since you’ve seen Tommy.”

We climb inside the Bently waiting for us. There’s so many nerves bottled up inside I feel like I’m about to burst. My broers’ last words still have me wondering if I’m making the right choice.

“I pray these months haven’t changed him too much.” 

“I’m staying with Polly. Would you like to drive with me to John’s to drop off some presents? I’m checking in on Arthur too.”

I stare through the window at the wandering people. “Actually I’m going straight to the office to settle some questions I have. You can go on ahead. I’ll visit John later.”

Throughout the whole drive to Birmingham Ada and I go back and forth discussing last-minute details from the Boston docks. However, my mind cannot stop drifting to think about seeing Thomas again. Last time I was so close. So close to telling him everything. I know expecting him to wait is completely ridiculous. Maybe that’s why the excitement of coming back is stained by the fear that my absence will have caused him to be forgetful of me.

The car stops outside a new building I’ve never seen before. 

“This must be the new office,” Ada says. “Are you still going to the Christmas party?”

“Yes. I’ll tell John I’ll be there.” 

I grab my trunk and step out into the muddy streets. December in England is so much more wet than in Brooklyn. Where’s the snow? I walk into the first room and spot Lizzie behind a desk. When she sees me her eyes flash the familiar look of hatred.

“Season’s greetings, Lizzie. What should I expect?”

She gives a small huff and returns to checking the records. “He’s isolated himself from the family. ‘S just been him and Charlie.” I walk past her to a staircase and she speaks up again. “Oh, by the way, the only love he’s received is from whores. Thought you should know.”

Sure. She can think I’ll believe that. As much as my heart might fall for Thomas there is still a part of me that dreads to know that he still takes physical pleasures from other women. My only guess is that I have to become as corrupt and defiled as the rest for him to consider me. May might be right. I’m too pure for this.

Michael walks through a door and sees me climbing up. “Oh! Tommy didn’t say you were coming.”

My face brightens. “Michael! I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you all were pardoned-”

He holds a hand up to stop me and offers to help me with my trunk. “It’s alright, Verena. You’ve helped keep the business flowing smoothly. All’s well in Boston, I hope?”

“Business is booming. How’s Polly?”

Michael’s smile drops. “Not as good. She’s addicted to tablets from the prison. Going off her rocker, to tell you the truth.”

Oh God. That poor woman… Why didn’t Thomas tell me things had gotten this worse? 

“You thought she was religious before,” Micheal says. “Now she claims she sees spirits.”

I’m almost afraid to ask. “Did all of you… change?”

He bites his lip, contemplating if he wants to go any further. “Yes.”

“How bad?”

“You can see for yourself at John’s party.”

Right. The party. “Will the children be there?”

Michael checks his watch and starts walking. “Yes. Arthur’s been excited for you to meet little Billy.”

“My instructions from Thomas have stopped,” I call after him. “Any reason why?”

Michael turns to face me with his mouth pressed in a thin line. “He’s detaching himself from work.” That doesn’t sound like Thomas. “I’ll have more instructions for you after the holidays.”

No. I’m not waiting any longer. I’m going straight to the source. “Is he here?”

Michael points down the hall. “Right through that magical door. He just got done with a meeting.”

I start walking to it. “Please tell Polly I’ll visit as soon as I can. Wish her a ‘Merry Christmas’ for me.”

I push the door open and walk into a dimly lit room. Inside is a long wooden business table. A portrait of the company’s stemma hangs on the wall. At the end of the room Thomas sits at the table, smoking as usual. The thing that sets him apart from last time are the round spectacles on his grimly-carved face. Through the thick smoke I can’t tell if he's just as happy to see me.

“Ah, there are those braids. Did you come over with Ada?”

I don’t know how to respond to this greeting. Commenting my hair braids? Not even a simple hello? 

“Yes,” I answer slowly. “Merry Christmas to you, too. Ada's gone to visit your brothers, then she’s coming to see you.”

He doesn’t seem interested. Instead Thomas gets up and walks closer to look at me. “You’ve changed. Your letters stress more on business instead of pleasure. But you’re still full of spirit.”

So he does read my letters. He just doesn’t bother to respond. Full of spirit, am I? Maybe it’s because I was so desperate to hear from him. Such a contrast to his unaffectionate personality.

“Vader recovered quite well. When he was able to walk I spent the summer helping my brother Eoin and his wife with their four kids so they could take a vacation. You’d change too if you had to learn to wrangle those little schavuits.” 

I walk closer too, dawning a deciphering face that tells him I cannot be so heartless. “In fact… You look different as well. Those glasses…” Is it just me or does Thomas look more tense than before? “I like it. Makes you look… sophisticated. Just like the man everyone in Boston thinks you are.”

Thomas catches on to my cold tone and tries to ignore it. “I see you’re wearing the gift I sent you.”

“Yes I am, thank you very much,” I say gratefully and finger the pendant around my neck. “I love it. I’m surprised you remembered.”

A quaint smile crosses his face. “‘S not every day a girl turns 23.”

True. But what’s happening right now is not about me. I need to redirect him back to the subject at hand.

“You wrote that you wanted me back. Thomas, I’m serious, I am here to help reconnect your family. What plans do you and Charlie have for Christmas?”

Why is he looking at me like that? It’s like he wants to avoid me, glare at me, or hug me. I thought I was conflicted about this visit but I think he beats me. 

“We’re spending Christmas at Arrow House,” Thomas says. “I got him his own horse. A thoroughbred.”

My eyes close and I have to keep from frowning. “Thomas. That’s very sweet, but a horse cannot replace family.”

He takes a puff on his cigarette. “Polly’s seeing spirits. Michael needs cocaine to stay awake. Linda and Esme want to carve my eyes out. Gathering for Christmas is not going to fix this, Verena. Also, Ada tells me you’ve been advertising whiskey on the side.”

I shrug. “Your clients like to drink, my vader makes whiskey. It’s been profitable. Is that so wrong?” He’d be a hypocrite if he disagrees.

Thomas shakes his head and walks over to pour a glass of his own whiskey. “I heard Lizzie mention my recent routines with ladies of the night. Thought you’d have something to say to that, eh? Religious reminders or what not.”

That is it! I’ve had enough!

I clench my fists and make for the door before I punch him in his smug face. “I came here to help your family! Whoever you fuck is not my concern, Thomas. I know I can’t change your mind about it. All you Shelbys ever do is screw around.”

Behind me I hear him hum in surprise. “Still so innocent.”

I spin around and face him with a glare moeder would be proud of. “‘Look like the innocent flower, But be the serpent under ‘t.’ Beware women, Thomas. Their sweet smiles can turn into venomous bites when their motive is strong.” I am not so different.

Thomas raises a brow. “So I shouldn’t trust you either, eh?

I grunt frustratedly and grip my head. “I’m telling you this so you can trust me. Everywhere you send me I’ve seen strong-willed men come undone at a woman’s smile.” My eyes narrow with determination. “I am stronger than that. When a handsome man tries to sway my opinion I know exactly how to correct him.”

Thomas can’t ignore the mention of another man. “And how is that, might I ask?”

I smirk. “A loaded pistol used for a little persuasion never hurts. At least at first.”

Thomas mirrors my grin and raises his glass. “Remind me never to make you mad.”

“You have before. Was I that pleasant?”

His eyes darken. “No.”

I put my hands on my hips. “That’s what I thought.”

Thomas glances at my trunk. “Are you staying in town?”

I grimace at the thought of Ada having to stay with Polly. “I’m stopping by John’s to say hello before the party. I’m planning on going back to Watery Lane so I don’t intrude. People are going to hate me too, Thomas.”

I feel him grab my small hand with his callused one. “Stay at Arrow House for Christmas. There’s more than enough room. Charlie will be happy to see you.”

We’re not getting anywhere. “That’s why I’m here, Thomas. For you and your family. Are you still not going to John’s party?”

Thomas’ blue eyes dart all over my face. “They don’t want anything to do with me. I find myself blessed enough to have you back. I’m not bringing them back into this if they don’t want to.”

And I can’t force him into this because he’s too scared to face them. I’ve got my work cut out. Maybe there can be a Christmas miracle.

“Okay, Thomas. I can stay at Arrow House. But you need to promise me that you will at least make an effort to wish them a ‘Merry Christmas.’”

My acceptance of his offer brings a slight smile to Thomas’ face. “Before you go to John’s there’s something I’d like to show you.”

Of all places to find surprises I would not expect a normal-looking warehouse with no one guarding it. I’m led inside and take in the view of a giant room stocked to the brim with bottles of gin. His own distillery! This kind of progress is just what Thomas needs! A hobby that’s not trying to kill him.

“Goodness! When did this happen?”

Thomas brings out a case of bottles. “Your father’s drink inspired me. Now I use dad’s old recipe to make my own. We’ll still buy your brand, of course.”

I’m still gawking in wonder at the place. “Thomas, this is amazing!”

“Try some?” He holds out a sample glass. “Be honest.”

I take a sip and take in the new flavor. Nothing like vader’s but I give him credit. My taste is very specific. “It’s good. Quite impressive. Do you export?”

Thomas nods proudly. “Yeah. Some I send off to Boston. Your lot drink it up like water.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t want to steal your dad’s business.” Is Thomas Shelby being modest? “Soon enough we’ll produce 200 gallons a week.”

Time to test the waters. “Maybe I can bring some to John? I’m sure he’d like to try some.”

Thomas’ smile fades. “Knowing Esme she’ll spit it on you. You’re really going to play peacemaker, Verena?”

I step closer and feel the same energy from before I left. When I felt like I was where I belonged in the world. He needs to know he’s not traveling this beaten path alone.

“You say I am innocent. Perhaps God is calling me here to spread my positive spirit during this festive season. Your family has seen numerous tragedies, Thomas. You can’t be broken apart. You need to be mended together. That’s why I am here.”

That, and because I love you. Do I go further?

Thomas keeps looking at me as if I’m a mirage. “I can never understand how you still believe we are so righteous and can be saved. That I can be saved. Do you ever want something for yourself?”

Yes. So selfishly yes. But it’s someone I want so selfishly. There are many ways I can answer that.

I spot a clock on the wall. Patience, Steenstra. This cannot be summed up in a few minutes.

“How about we continue this when I get back from John’s tonight? We can catch up properly without any interruptions.”

Thomas wants to keep me here but he knows better than to argue. “We’ll be waiting.”

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 46: Grim Tidings

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

We get back inside and out of the growing cold. Thomas walks back to his desk while I carry my trunk up to the guest room despite his insisting to make Lydia help me. Part of me hopes Thomas will at least call Arthur and John to wish them ‘Merry Christmas.’ What’s it going to take for him to break down and talk to them? 

After I set my trunk on the massive bed I go back downstairs hoping to find Charlie. Maybe he’s playing with Thomas? I poke my head in, only to find Thomas staring at something on his desk.

“Did you get a Christmas card?” I ask and look down at the strangely dull paper. What kind of holiday card is that? All that’s on it is- 

My breath hitches and I freeze in my tracks. A black handprint. That’s a black hand… From a mister Luca Changretta. Jesus Christ. That means…

Thomas looks up and sees my petrified face. “Do you recognize this?”

I can’t tear my eyes away from the foreboding symbol. As a child I remember the one thing Uncle Colon preached above everything else was the danger of the black hand.

“I know what that is,” I whisper dreadfully and back away from the desk. “It’s a sign from the Sicilian mafia. They’re spreading like wildfire back home. The FBI doesn’t want to admit the mob exists but it’s clear as day. Uncle Colon specifically ordered for my neighborhood to be guarded from them.” 

I back against the wall and clutch my chest before my heart can burst out. A black hand. There’s a black hand addressed to Thomas. I work for Thomas. Does that mean my family is going to be served a black hand too?!

Thomas walks around the desk and approaches me cautiously. “You’re safe here, Verena. I promise.”

My eyes flash with panic. “Is it just you?”

He groans and rubs his furrowed brow. “How the fuck would I know?”

My jaw drops. This is not the time to be held back by the family’s falling out! If there was ever a time to bury the hatchet, this is it! And if he doesn’t snap out of it right now I’m going to slap it out of him!

“Do you even know how the mafia works?” I ask sternly. “I don’t know how up to date you are with things but the Italians hate the Irish. My people. Thomas, they aren’t just a gang. They’re like a company. Run like a well-oiled machine. Family and tradition is everything to them. Instead of burning a building or blowing up a train they kill entire families and leave one man standing to see it all happen. One minute they’re chatting friendly over wine, the next they’re jamming a breadstick down your throat. These men are sophisticated savages.”

Thomas looks up at me, then back at the card, then at the floor. “I need to make a call.”

I tug at his sleeve. “Thomas. Listen to me. I am not exposing my family to this. Being tied to you could put them at risk too.”

I reach for the phone but Thomas snatches my hand. “If your family’s involved they would have already called. Do you want to alert them to it if they have nothing to worry about?”

Damn. He’s right. If moeder doesn’t know about this then she’ll lose her marbles if I call her to say I’m working for a man involved in a vendetta. But I can’t be expected to just keep quiet!

I raise my voice. “Thomas-!” 

“I know!” He shouts and his grip on me tightens. “You just got here, wanting to help, and now this black hand’s fucked everything up. It’s too dangerous for you to go back home because Changretta might be looking for you.”

He pulls me closer and all but digs his fingernails into my skin. “Do not ask me to have to receive a letter testifying that your body was found drifting at sea. Just- Just let me figure this out and I will keep you safe.”

How far does he expect to stretch my trust?! This is my own family we’re talking about! And unlike him I do not have an estrangement with them. Why would I-?!

“Daddy? Veena?”

My head flinches to look over where Charlie is peeking behind the corner. Oh God. I’m not letting him hear of this too. Not after what happened last time. If this Changretta fellow lays a finger on him I’ll rip each one off and plunge a bullet through his skull.

“Charlie!” Thomas cuts out my thoughts and makes a performance to get me to stop talking about the black hand. “How about we start getting ready for bed, yeah? Verena-” He looks at me desperately. “Any Dutch traditions for us?”

I bite my tongue. Very well, Thomas. I will stay quiet… for now.

“Actually I did bring some Christmas cookies,” I smile mischievously and Charlie’s eyes widen. “You’ll have to wait until tomorrow. Ah…” I dig around for any traditions they wouldn’t know. “To say ‘Merry Christmas,’ in the Netherlands we say ‘Vrolijk Kerstfeest.’ We still abide by the legend of Santa Claus but the Dutch version is called Kerstman.” I dramatically spread my arms. “He is tall and slender with a long white beard. He wears dark red robes and a tall hat similar to a bishop’s. Children leave their shoes out and fill them with hay and carrots for his horse. When he visits, he fills the shoes with gifts and treats.”

Charlie tugs on his father’s arm. “Can I leave my shoes out tonight?”

“Sure thing, son.” Thomas pats his back.

I keep thinking. “As for some traditions on my moeder’s side, we leave a candle in the window to represent guiding Mary and Joseph on their way to Bethlehem. It’s inspired by an old Celtic ritual of lighting a way for the spirits to pass peacefully. We also hang a holly and ivy wreath outside the house to represent the crown of thorns.” My smile falters at the memory of past Christmases. “All of my family that resides in America gathers in our home in Brooklyn for a Christmas feast of roast pork, vegetables, mince pies, and homemade breads.”

Thomas spots my melancholiness and takes that as the cue to lead Charlie towards the parlor. Now that I’m not panicking I notice the sprigs of holly and evergreens decorating the bookshelves. Almost just like home. Maybe this doesn’t have to be such a sad Christmas after all?

“Veena! Come on!” Charlie calls.

I take one last deep breath. “Coming!”

I hurry after them and look up to see- Oh my! That’s one of the most beautiful Christmas trees I’ve ever seen! It’s gorgeous! 

“Here we are, Charlie.” Thomas hands his son a small place with a mince pie on it. “Your job is to leave these out for Santa, yeah?”

Charlie does as he’s told, along with taking off his shoes and leaving them next to the fireplace. I wonder if my young nieces and nephews are doing the same thing right now… 

“Goodnight, Charlie.” Thomas hugs him close. “Merry Christmas. I love you.”

The innocent child waves goodnight to me as Francis leads him up to bed. Thomas slumps down in an armchair with a whiskey in hand, staring at the ceiling.

“That’s really sweet of you,” I smile softly. “He’s living a childhood. You even kept the Christmas magic alive for him.”

“Charlie deserves everything.”

I nod. “He’s growing up so fast.”

Suddenly the sound of an approaching car causes Thomas to quickly get up again and look out the window. Could it be hitmen?

“Who is it?” I whisper and creep closer.

Thomas spins around and makes me sit in his chair. “Stay here.”

He storms into the other room, comes back with a small gun and goes back to the window. Thomas takes another look and sighs in relief, walking back to pour another whiskey.

“It’s Ada.”

Frances walks in with a concerned frown. “Mr. Shelby, it’s your sister.”

“I know. Send her in.”

And in walks Ada, just as I left her earlier. Thomas doesn’t wait for proper greetings and gets straight to the point.

“I’ve had a card, Ada,” he says and hands her a drink. “I’m guessing John and Arthur have had one as well.”

Ada tilts her head. “‘Hello, Tommy.’ ‘Hello, Ada, welcome home.’ Thanks, it’s nice to be back,” she drones sarcastically and nods at me. “I see you and Verena have already caught up. 

“I spoke to Moss,” Thomas explains to both of us as Ada goes to place her gifts under the tree. “Moss says that Changretta is a soldier for the Spinietta family, which means that he’ll have men with him, professional men. They usually operate in units of ten.”

I shake my head worryingly, staring at the crackling fire. “You don’t know half of what the Sicilians are capable of.”

Thomas ignores my comment. “Moss is checking Cunard records to see if they’re already in England.”

Ada, appearing surprisingly calm to this, hands Thomas a small package. “This one’s for you.”

Thomas takes it and eyes it skeptically. “What is it? Time machine?”

“My God, Tommy Shelby, is that regret?” We’re both thinking it.

He sets the present on the desk. “I’ll open it tomorrow.”

Ada presses her lips together. “So, boss, in light of the changed circumstances, what are your orders?”

Thomas leans against his desk, deep in thought, and looks between Ada and I. “Changretta knows where we all live.”

“As well as my family,” I murmur.

Ada notices my distraught nerves and her brow furrows. “But-?”

“I’m tied to the black hand because of my employment here, and because of my uncle,” I explain. “My family will bear the burden, same as yours.”

“We won’t let that happen.” Thomas walks around the desk and kneels down to look straight at me. “If we stay out in the open, isolated, he’ll pick us off one by one. We need to be together in a place even they won’t dare to come.”

My eyes narrow in bafflement. “Are you saying I should ask my family to just up and leave our home?”

Ada’s confused as well. “You mean back home? Our home?”

Thomas looks at me again. “I know it’s technically yours now but-”

“I kept the deed in your safe,” I confess with a shy smile. “Just in case you lot still needed a place on Watery Lane. Of course you can use it.”

He nods gratefully and continues. “Within a four-mile radius of the Garrison. Every man is a guard and soldier for us. I’m calling a family meeting. Charlie’s Strong’s Yard, Boxing Day. Finn’s already there. You tell Polly and Michael, I’ll deal with John and Arthur.”

This is what it takes. A bloody death threat on the entire family. This is what drives him to speak to his brothers. Ada catches my eye and mouths ‘calm down,’ probably because my face looks like I could commit murder. I selflessly came here to bring people together and instead I’m being forced into a vendetta. 

“And Esme and Linda?” Ada asks before I can say anything.

Thomas’ voice raises. “Anyone who wants to live to see another Christmas needs to come where it’s safe. These bastards will kill kids as well. When this business is finished we- We can go our separate ways.”

Damn it, Thomas! None of this would have happened if you hadn’t been so headstrong on revenge for Grace’s death! In fact, all of this is because Lizzie wanted to go out with an Italian. How did I end up here? Because I’m a delirious idiot who’s trying to fix someone who might be permanently broken.

“Do you think I’m on the list?” Ada asks in her own tone of fear. Now she catches on.

Thomas’ gaze hardens. “We’re all on the list, Ada. Just ask Verena.”

She huffs in frustration. “I gave my gun to Arthur.”

Without a word, Thomas reaches in his desk and pulls out a pistol. He checks to see it's loaded before passing it over with a blank expression.

“Welcome home.”

Ada still looks perturbed and I can’t blame her. She pockets the gun and I stand up to follow her.

“I’ll walk you out.” We get to the hall and I lean in closer. “How’s Arthur?”

She scoffs lightly. “He’s a chicken farmer now. He seems to be coping better, although Linda’s still got him on a tight leash. This whole black hand thing’s sure to get Arthur stressed.”

My face darkens once more. “We all are.”

After she leaves I walk back to the parlor to find Thomas standing by the phone. He sees me walk in and points to me.

“What ‘bout you, Verena? You’ve got a gun?”

I tartly reach under my wool skirt and pull my own pistol from my leg holster. “Smith and Wesson. American-made.”

The tiniest hint of a smirk dances across his lips. “Just the way you like it. How appropriate. I’m going to call John.” He dials the number and waits a good long minute before giving up. “Fuck.”

“No answer? Maybe they’re asleep.”

He ignores me and dials another number. “Get me through to Maypole 245.”

I shouldn’t be listening to these conversations. While Thomas waits for Arthur to pick up I move to his office to look at the wretched card once more. My motive is my own family’s safety. If that means I have to give up my own safety by staying here and keeping quiet then I cannot fight it. 

The phone clicks again and I take that as a signal to rejoin Thomas. He looks sad and tired.

“Did he pick up?” I ask softly.

He takes a drink. “Yeah.”

“You sounded nervous.”

“‘M not nervous to talk to me own brothers,” Thomas grumbles. He looks up at my pointed stare and grudgingly looks to the ceiling. “Fine. I was a little nervous.”

“On a different matter… Thomas, my family will not leave. They’ve worked too hard to make it to where we are. They would rather face conflict than leave Brooklyn. So… I will stay here, not a word to them, and trust that you know what you’re doing.”

Thomas sets his drink down and gently grips my shoulders, peering straight at me with pleading eyes. “Just trust me. I promise I will do everything I can to make sure they’re not connected.”

Can I really trust him? Trust in him always seems to lead to the darkest of places. Is my love for him enough to provide reasoning for trust or is it clouding my judgment?

“I’m retiring for the night.” I take his calloused hand and give it an uncertain squeeze. “Merry Christmas, Thomas.”

He leans his head in closer. Not enough to touch my forehead but enough for his icy blue eyes to be the only things I can see. “Merry Christmas.”

Every part of the festive feeling I felt earlier today is gone. Suddenly this jolly season has become full of benevolence. I cannot think about some petty romance now! As I make my way to my room and prepare for sleep, the dread of hearing any news from home gnaws at my stomach. All I can do now is pray that tomorrow brings more answers. It will be good to see Finn again...

@meadows5