#may charelton

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Masterlist

Summary: (Begins at season 1) A young American woman accidently gets lost and left behind during her family trip in England. Now she's left alone in the sketchy town of Birmingham. What will happen when she meets a family rumored to be full of notorious and dangerous gangsters? Warnings: swearing, inappropriate language, guns, suggested sexual content, spoilers

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551641308708864/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551994975584256/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739552149463252993/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739725588977287168/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/740007927535091712/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/740185653810184192/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/741271138922086401/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/742625504550584320/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/743983096753537024/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/744530510068514816/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/745341657694830593/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/746348640952631296/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/746890111990562816/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/747523644867084288/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/748974224593616896/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/751413930043260928/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/752228850159828992/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/754042173213835264/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/755105306323861504/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/757227767425302528/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/758395482064224256/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/760478115927638016/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/761087418755661824/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/761351401915940864/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/761374532300881920/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/761374855722598400/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/761375098687062016/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/761745435288322048/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/761835994324566016/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/761922445598932992/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/762093334972055552/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/762177251775299584/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/762293942085664768/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/762381164063473664/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/762381353370238976/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/763014692243456000/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/763100382683611136/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/763194983485423616/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/763650890198548480/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/764154681938345984/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/764369301058846720/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/764441751392043008/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/766360181779185664/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/766898331429552128/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/767177563590328320/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/767177700565712896/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/767636897905442816/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc-ch?source=share

[setbw4u]

Discover Serenity and Relief: Charelton's Healing with Massage Therapy in Winnipeg

At Charelton’s Whole Body Healing, we understand that true well-being extends beyond the physical body. It encompasses the mind, spirit, and emotions. We’re excited to introduce you to our innovative approach to holistic healing — Subconscious Reprogramming in Winnipeg. Through mindful transformation, subconscious mind reprogramming, and the power of positive affirmations, we empower you to take control of your inner world for a more fulfilled life.

Mindful Transformation Winnipeg

Mindful transformation Winnipeg is the art of cultivating self-awareness and harnessing the incredible potential of your subconscious mind. Our holistic approach to mindful transformation in Winnipeg is rooted in the belief that your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions shape your reality. By becoming more mindful of these internal processes, you can create lasting change and achieve your goals.

Our skilled practitioners will guide you through the process of mindfulness, helping you tap into your inner wisdom and identify patterns that may be holding you back. Through mindful transformation in Winnipeg, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of yourself, enhance your emotional intelligence, and develop the tools to navigate life’s challenges with grace.

Subconscious Mind Mastery Winnipeg

Your subconscious mind is a powerful force that plays a significant role in shaping your life. Through our subconscious mind reprogramming in Winnipeg, we teach you how to unlock the potential of your subconscious mind to manifest positive change. By reprogramming limiting beliefs and thought patterns, you can break free from self-imposed limitations and create the life you desire.

Charelton will work with you to access your subconscious mind’s immense power and facilitate a process of transformation. Subconscious mind reprogramming Winnipeg can help you overcome obstacles, reduce stress, improve self-esteem, and enhance your overall well-being.

Positive Affirmations Winnipeg

Positive affirmations are powerful statements that can help rewire your subconscious mind for success, happiness, and fulfillment. At Charelton’s Whole Body Healing, we incorporate the use of positive affirmations Winnipeg as a fundamental tool for personal growth and transformation.

Our experts will help you craft personalized affirmations that align with your goals and aspirations. By receiving Psych-K balances, you can reprogram your subconscious mind to support your desires, leading to positive changes in your life.

Unlock the potential of your mind and experience the profound benefits of mindful transformation, subconscious mind reprogramming, and positive affirmations in Winnipeg with Charelton’s Whole Body Healing.

Are you ready to take control of your inner world and transform your life for the better? Contact Charelton today to learn more about our Subconscious Reprogramming in Winnipeg program and schedule your appointment. Let Charelton guide you on a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and holistic healing. Your path to a more fulfilling life begins here at Charelton’s Whole Body Healing.

[jdelarroz]

Changing Comic Culture One Step At A Time

I’m a fan of the classic pulps, having studied what made our American culture so great in the first half of the 20th century, which then declined as the entertainment industry became weaponized as a political tool. Normal people, consequently, exited culture, which led to its slow spiral which started in the 60s, but reached its apex in poor quality in the 90s-2000s, where the culture collapsed and never recovered.

Books went from selling millions to selling thousands. People stopped seeing movies. People stopped reading comics and they became a niche market. You know the drill if you’ve read along.

Both the content and the business models have been failures from the mainstream industry, and it’s why I’ve spent time on my last several projects doing something different.

My work on Dynamite Thor was a study of a golden age character, redoing a hero as an actual hero, adding humor to comics, making comics fun again. It highlighted that 1950s Americana which we lost as a culture.  It may have seemed an esoteric concept to pursue, but it was a great work and test as a writer to learn to revitalize.

Another area where I’ve found needing revitalization is short comics. I started and continue to release them on my Patreon as I get them done after reading wonderful works by Steve Ditko in a Masters of Suspense compilation. I reviewed the book here:

Back when comics were a thriving industry, Marvel, Charelton Comics, EC, and others had magazines every month dedicated to shorts. They’d make punchy, witty, concepts and really exercise the mind creatively by doing different things — Jack Kirby even made romance comics into something super popular.

All of these had short concepts, packing a ton of story into 5 or 10 pages. Each story had something wildly different than the next. They made for incredibly refreshing reads.

This is what inspired me to do shorts on my patreon, which I’ve been coming out with and producing monthly in conjunction with my regular comics.

With the quarantine, I figure it’s best to get those out to a bigger and wider audience, so I compiled what I have to date into Spectacular Comics #1. This book has a little of everything — cute wholesome stories, horror, samurai, I wanted to use my comic storytelling to try something different each time, and with short comics it gives me more luxury to follow the creative instinct.

It’s already at #3 on Amazon and has three 5-star reviews. This is a great comic to bring back classic-style culture and you’ll really enjoy it. The print edition is “processing” right now so I’m just waiting on it to go live, but you can get Spectacular Comics and make comics great again on kindle for only $3.99.

Read today, and see why short comics are so fun!

from WordPress https://ift.tt/2JryZCC via IFTTT

[sl-newsie]

Just finished watching all of Peaky Blinders. It took less than a year. It's been quite a journey, and it's bittersweet to think that there's no more until the movie comes out.

And now to begin the popular custom of rewatching old shows rather than testing out new ones! 🚬

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 42: Something More Important

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

By the end of the afternoon everything is planned. Ada, Finn, Polly, and Michael are already here. Now we’re waiting for Lizzie and the other Shelbys and their wives. Thomas’ meeting with the duchess must have gone successfully because he came back in one piece with more money than I’d ever imagined. Now she’s gone.

In the kitchen I pour a small whiskey and let the nostalgic drink warm me. More footsteps approach and Thomas spots me sitting at the table.

“Do you drink now?” 

I roll my eyes. “In small portions. Don’t blame me. You lot are always drinking.”

He walks in and takes a seat next to me, examining the bottle with a cigarette dangling from his mouth. “Whiskey?”

“My vader runs a brewery. What do you think?”

“‘S this your father’s brand?”

I nod proudly. “Some of the best in America.”

Thomas hums and considers me with calculating eyes, hand on his chin. “How do you feel about horses?”

Another swallow. “Not much to say. I grew up in the city and never got to see many, much less ride one until I came here.” I smirk. “Not that I wouldn’t be up to the challenge.”

He hums again. “Do you prefer cars?”

Is that a trick question? Where is this coming from? “In Brooklyn everything’s close enough to walk. When my family travels we rent a car. But if you’re asking my opinion about those gleaming beauties you’ve got now, I’ll say they’re some of the best cars I’ve ever ridden in.” I stand up and place my glass in the wash basin. “You’re a man of many wonders, Thomas. Gorgeous horses and snazzy automobiles.”

A new feeling blooms in my chest just as Ada walks by. So much for a private moment.

“They’re asking for you, Tommy.”

Thomas waves her off and stands up, taking a puff on his cigarette. He takes his own sip from vader’s whiskey and looks to the floor with a look telling me he’s overthinking.

“After today, things might go back to normal,” I comment lightly and put a hand on his shoulder. “Now go out there and show them who Thomas Shelby is.”

Thomas gives a stiff nod and strides off into the hall. I start to follow but am blocked by Linda before I can exit the kitchen.

“Why are you here?” she asks, looking me up and down.

“Excuse me?”

“Why are you here? Esme, Ada, Polly, and I are kin to the Shelbys.” She tilts her chin up. “Who are you?”

It feels like someone punched me in the throat. What words can I possibly say about that? Does she not see the time I’ve dedicated to this family?

“I- I’m here as a friend. Thomas-”

“All you are is a trusting, pretty face that he can send to do the boring work he doesn’t like,” she tuts. “If I were you I’d go back to America. That’s where Arthur and I plan on going. Away from this dangerous place. Although no offense, your state may be a bit too rough for the baby.”

My jaw tightens and my gaze hardens. My hands stay clenched at my sides. Every part of me wants to boil over and scream at her for disrespecting my country.

“How dare you. You say I’m a waste of space here and then insult my home? You are in luck because I am too Christian to hit a pregnant woman. Excuse me.”

I force my way past Linda, pushing into her shoulder. Arthur, you are a good man, but why did you have to find someone so judgemental? At least Esme still accepts me. Polly, Ada, Finn… Thomas trusts me. I understand that trust does not come easily to this family but one would think that after all this time-

“Ms. Steenstra, there’s someone on the phone for you,” Mary interrupts my thoughts. “A man named Conor.”

The name makes my pulse spark. Why would he be calling?

“Conor? That’s my brother.” I walk to the phone and hesitantly pick it up. “Hello?”

“Verena?” His deep American accent rings through. “Thank God! I’ve been trying to reach you all day! Where the Hell in England are you?”

“I’m in Warwickshire.”

“Speak normal English!”

I roll my eyes. “That is normal English! I’m at Arrow House. My boss’ house. And we’re about to have a meeting. Is something wrong?”

He chuckles halfheartedly. “Funny you should say that. Vader fell down the stairs and broke his beg.”

I close my eyes and let out a drawn-out groan. “It was the stairs with the loose floorboard, wasn’t it?”

“Sure was. And now we need someone to care for him while I get to be the lucky one who runs the shop.”

His attempt at sounding gumptious does not sink in well. The previous feeling of the future’s delightful promises is disassembled, leaving me to ponder the disappointment of having to leave Birmingham once more.

“Conor, are you serious?” I ask in a small voice. 

“Catch the next boat home,” he answers in a non-negotiable tone. “Please? Moeder and Oma are going crazy and we need you to balance it out.”

I feel like I’m falling. Being dragged down with no way out. “Conor. I am so close to starting a life for myself here. Is there any other person?”

He sighs deeply. “I’m afraid not. We need you here.”

Something more important. That’s what he wants to say. I have to leave because this is more important. Not Thomas’ mental stability or my own interest to start a life. What does Conor know? They’ve never even met the Shelbys yet. 

I’m being pulled from both sides. On one hand, I can’t leave Thomas alone with what he just went through. He needs me to listen. On the other hand, I cannot just leave my family. It’s too selfish. Maybe… I can still listen from the phone. Thomas might understand. He knows I wouldn’t leave unless it was for something like this.

“Very well. I will inform Mr. Shelby that I need to take a leave of absence.”

“Thank you, Verena,” Conor sighs in relief. “This is a big help, really. You’re-”

“Tell moeder I will be home soon,” I cut him off with a dead tone. “Tot ziens.”

I stiffly hang up the phone before he can ramble on about more assurances. Yes, this is a big help to them. But I also feel the need to be of service here too. Can’t they understand?

I join the others in Thomas’ office and try to squeeze past Finn before the meeting starts. “I need to speak to Thomas-”

“Shh!” 

Finn pushes me down into the chair next to him. Whatever Thomas’ new plan is I will have to be cut out. Now everyone is gathered, even Thomas’ uncle, Curly, and Johnny Doggs. We’re all in rows facing Thomas like it's going to be a big speech. Thomas stays hunches over his desk, eyeing us until we quiet down.

“Before I begin, I want to let you know I made a mistake.” He admits it? Thomas Shelby just admitted he was wrong. “And I want to apologize to all of you. Arthur, you warned me against getting involved in Russian business. And you were right.”

Arthur merely hums in response. 

“I doubted your wife, and for that I’m sorry. Linda, I’ve added 3,000 here in the hope that you’ll forgive me.”

Linda gives us all a quick look as if to see if taking the money is appropriate. She gets up and picks up the bills Thomas has placed on the desk. “Apology accepted.”

Thomas continues. “Esme I doubted you as well.”

Esme, carrying the sleeping newborn in her arms, stares right at him. “Now John’s got innocent lives on his conscience. Ordinary working men-”

“Yeah, alright Esme. Got it,” John pushes it off.

“No, she’s right,” Thomas agrees. “And you and Arthur are gonna have to share that burden.” He tosses another stack of bills to him. “But I hope the house that you can buy with this can become a place of contemplation. Perhaps redemption.” He throws more money to the men in the back. “Charlie, for lost tools, dangerous goods and Curly’s wise words. Johnny, for board and lodgings. Lizzie.” 

The dark-eyed secretary leans forward and throws it back, sitting up straight with a tensed jaw. In a split second her eyes dart to where I’m sitting and I swear she thinks I'm hiding something.

“Michael.” Thomas holds more money out to his cousin. “For the killings. 5 for the stabbing, 5 for the shooting-”

Polly stands up. “No, Tommy.”

“What?!” Thomas barks. “Tell me, eh! This is who I am! And this is all I can give you for what you’ve given me. Your hearts and your souls.” He points a finger at her. “Yesterday I nearly lost my son. You should fucking understand that. For what, eh? For this? This?”

He gestures to the room and I can see my prediction seeping through. Wealth can grant you only so much, Thomas. I tried to tell you, Lord knows I did. Now you see just how valuable life can be without money... And how easily it can be stolen.

“And I know you all want me to say that I’ll change,” he grunts, looking over each of us. He’s not wrong. “That this fucking busines will change. But I’ve learnt something in the last few days.” He points to the window. “Those bastards, those bastards, are worse than us. Politicians, fucking judges, Lords and Ladies. They are worse than us. And they will never admit us to their palaces no matter how legitimate we become. Because of who we are. Who we fucking are, where we fucking came from.”

As much as it pains me to think it, he’s right. This isn’t America where you can build from the ground up and people will respect you. Remains of wealthy families still linger but in Brooklyn your character is judged by your labors. Your hard work. Maybe that is why I’ve been so out of place here.

“Isn’t that right, Ada?” Thomas looks at his sister. “Our Ada knows. She got smart about the revolution. And she knows you have to get what you want your own way. Lizzie, I want it known that money was for you because some nights it was you who stopped my heart from breaking. No one else.”

Crack.

My breathing ceases. Thomas’ words are drowned out by the ringing in my ears. My entire body freezes to stare unblinking at the desk. Did he just say that? In the corner of my eye Lizzie’s look of confidence says enough. But he said thank-you. He said he needs me…

“And Verena, don’t think I’ve forgotten you.”

Did he say my name? My head jerks up and those stern blue eyes meet my frigid ones.

“Verena. The American woman who stood by us as our family crumbled and built up again. Verena, who cared for and protected my son as if he were her own. Verena, who makes me look like a bloody fool for not following her wisdom. Vernea, who always listens.”

He holds up a single envelope. Not one with money.

“This here is for you. The deed to the house on Watery Lane. It’s yours now. And outside that house, you will find a car. That’s yours too.”

Oh God. He does care. He wants me to stay so badly. How can I tell him I can’t? “Thomas-”

“No exceptions,” he orders and sets the envelope on the desk.

“Thomas, please-” I beg.

“Tommy. You’ve had a bad time,” Polly interrupts. “We understand. So at an alternative time, we have all recovered.” She walks over to retrieve the money from Michael, who does not look compliant. “I would like to put before the family an alternative view of the future of the Shelby Company Limited. A more hopeful view.”

Esme’s baby starts to cry. Polly’s words hit everyone. If only I could join this hopeful future. 

“Which I, for one, would quite like to hear,” Ada inputs.

Esme stands up with her child. “As would I.”

“And I,” Lizzie agrees.

Thomas’ eyes flicker to me and I force an empty smile. “Me too.”

Linda, however, is not as enthusiastic. “Come on, Arthur. Train to the boat leaves in one hour. Then we get the boat to New York and it’ll all be in the past.”

Polly gives him a hug while Thomas fights the urge to as well. Instead he sits back in his chair and takes a puff on his cigarette. Does this mean the meeting’s over? Are the Shelbys really splitting up? Arthur can’t really be going- Can he? After everything…?

Everyone stands in silence as Arthur approaches his brother for a final goodbye. “I’ll be off then, Tom. I’ll see ya. I’ll see you, brother.”

He gives a nod and walks to join Linda at the back of the room. I’m really going to miss him. Maybe I’ll be on the same boat back to New York.

“You can go but you won’t get far, Arthur.”

Thomas’ words cause everyone to look at him. Arthur must think he’s joking. What on Earth is he talking about?

“I spoke to Moss last night. He told me that the Chief Constable of Birmingham has issued a warrant for your arrest. Murder, sedition, conspiracy to cause explosion. John, they’re coming for you as well. Same charges. Michael, the murder of Hughes. Polly-”

“Wait a minute. What the fuck are you talking-?” Arthur’s voice rises.

Bang! Bang! “Open up!” Someone shouts from outside.

Oh no. He didn’t- Thomas could never-

“…In the murder of Chief Inspector Chester Campbell,” Thomas finishes.

So Polly really did kill him. Can’t say I’m sad to hear it. But what does not calm my thoughts is the continued pounding on the front door. 

“The people we betrayed last night want to bring us down,” Thomas explains as whistles start to blow. “They control the police, the judges, the jails. But they do not control the elected government.”

“What the fuck Tommy?” John yells and everyone starts clustering in a panic.

“I was going to listen to you, my brother-!”

“They’ll hang us!”

“Listen to me!” Thomas is trying to stay calm. “I’ve made a deal, in return for turning in evidence against them. Lizzie, take the money to the cellar. You will get your money in course time. When the police get in, do not resist. Do not say anything.”

More panic spreads through the room. Polly, looking shocked and distraught, is escorted out by Michael. Esme tries to run with John but I know they won’t get far. Screams echo from the hall. Finn and I exchange anxious looks and bolt out of the room to see the door burst open and uniformed cops swarm inside. They push me away and back Arthur up against the wall with a baton to his throat. John’s already handcuffed. Esme’s trying to soothe the baby and keep Linda from attacking the coppers. Finn, who looks to be seconds from tears when he sees Polly being handcuffed, takes off sprinting out the door and around to the back of the house, towards the pasture. Lizzie and Ada are still hiding in the cellar. I’m all that’s left.

As the thrashing prisoners are led outside I feel someone walk up behind me. Thomas. We both stand in silence watching them all be dragged out to the awaiting trolley. Silence drapes over the once-lively house. I dare to look up and see Thomas’ facade threatening to crack. He never wanted this. A king, all alone in his castle. 

He finally speaks. “The only one not linked by evidence to this is you, Verena.” 

I swallow hard to fight my own tears. “That’s supposed to make me feel better? You just sent your own family to the gallows, Thomas! You must admit the law is catching up to you now. Rigged or not, do you think you can fight this system?” I take a shaky breath. “I feel like that speech was partially directed at me. No, I understand you can’t change. But you’re right. You are better than them, Thomas. All those snippity aristocrats.”

“I really meant what I said,” Thomas murmurs and I fight the temptation to keep looking at him. “You… You’ve kept me sane. You listen. You care. I don’t know how, but you do. Even if there’s nothing profitable for you.”

I shake my head slowly. “Care and compassion shouldn’t come at a cost.” Another deep breath. “There’s more news, I’m afraid. Conor, my oldest brother, just called and told me I need to return home. Vader broke his leg, and…”

Something in him breaks too. We both know where this is going. Thomas wants to break down further but instead closes his eyes to clarify my reason to leave.

“You need to help. ‘S alright, Verena. I understand.”

“Please know that I truly do wish to stay.” I gently take his hand. “You didn’t need to gift me anything for helping you, Thomas. God sent me here for a reason.”

He swallows. “You deserve it all, love. It will still be here when you come back.”

“I will be back,” I assure firmly. “I promise. But right now you need your family. Save them, Thomas. While I’m at home I can start arranging your shipments in Boston with Ada. I’m really sorry Thomas but I have my own family to look after as well.”

We turn into each other for a soft hug. Nothing too intimate, no. Something with a deeper feeling. Like two magnets not wanting to part. No longer do I feel scared to touch him. I need him to make me keep remembering what I’ll eventually return to. In a small moment I feel him lean down and press a single kiss to the top of my head.

“If I call, will you pick up?”

“Always.”

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 44: Season's Greetings

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

December 24, 1925

Liverpool Docks

“Ready, Ada?”

Ada wraps her fox fur coat around her shoulders to combat the cold wind. “Are you? It’s been a whole year since you’ve seen Tommy.”

We climb inside the Bently waiting for us. There’s so many nerves bottled up inside I feel like I’m about to burst. My broers’ last words still have me wondering if I’m making the right choice.

“I pray these months haven’t changed him too much.” 

“I’m staying with Polly. Would you like to drive with me to John’s to drop off some presents? I’m checking in on Arthur too.”

I stare through the window at the wandering people. “Actually I’m going straight to the office to settle some questions I have. You can go on ahead. I’ll visit John later.”

Throughout the whole drive to Birmingham Ada and I go back and forth discussing last-minute details from the Boston docks. However, my mind cannot stop drifting to think about seeing Thomas again. Last time I was so close. So close to telling him everything. I know expecting him to wait is completely ridiculous. Maybe that’s why the excitement of coming back is stained by the fear that my absence will have caused him to be forgetful of me.

The car stops outside a new building I’ve never seen before. 

“This must be the new office,” Ada says. “Are you still going to the Christmas party?”

“Yes. I’ll tell John I’ll be there.” 

I grab my trunk and step out into the muddy streets. December in England is so much more wet than in Brooklyn. Where’s the snow? I walk into the first room and spot Lizzie behind a desk. When she sees me her eyes flash the familiar look of hatred.

“Season’s greetings, Lizzie. What should I expect?”

She gives a small huff and returns to checking the records. “He’s isolated himself from the family. ‘S just been him and Charlie.” I walk past her to a staircase and she speaks up again. “Oh, by the way, the only love he’s received is from whores. Thought you should know.”

Sure. She can think I’ll believe that. As much as my heart might fall for Thomas there is still a part of me that dreads to know that he still takes physical pleasures from other women. My only guess is that I have to become as corrupt and defiled as the rest for him to consider me. May might be right. I’m too pure for this.

Michael walks through a door and sees me climbing up. “Oh! Tommy didn’t say you were coming.”

My face brightens. “Michael! I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you all were pardoned-”

He holds a hand up to stop me and offers to help me with my trunk. “It’s alright, Verena. You’ve helped keep the business flowing smoothly. All’s well in Boston, I hope?”

“Business is booming. How’s Polly?”

Michael’s smile drops. “Not as good. She’s addicted to tablets from the prison. Going off her rocker, to tell you the truth.”

Oh God. That poor woman… Why didn’t Thomas tell me things had gotten this worse? 

“You thought she was religious before,” Micheal says. “Now she claims she sees spirits.”

I’m almost afraid to ask. “Did all of you… change?”

He bites his lip, contemplating if he wants to go any further. “Yes.”

“How bad?”

“You can see for yourself at John’s party.”

Right. The party. “Will the children be there?”

Michael checks his watch and starts walking. “Yes. Arthur’s been excited for you to meet little Billy.”

“My instructions from Thomas have stopped,” I call after him. “Any reason why?”

Michael turns to face me with his mouth pressed in a thin line. “He’s detaching himself from work.” That doesn’t sound like Thomas. “I’ll have more instructions for you after the holidays.”

No. I’m not waiting any longer. I’m going straight to the source. “Is he here?”

Michael points down the hall. “Right through that magical door. He just got done with a meeting.”

I start walking to it. “Please tell Polly I’ll visit as soon as I can. Wish her a ‘Merry Christmas’ for me.”

I push the door open and walk into a dimly lit room. Inside is a long wooden business table. A portrait of the company’s stemma hangs on the wall. At the end of the room Thomas sits at the table, smoking as usual. The thing that sets him apart from last time are the round spectacles on his grimly-carved face. Through the thick smoke I can’t tell if he's just as happy to see me.

“Ah, there are those braids. Did you come over with Ada?”

I don’t know how to respond to this greeting. Commenting my hair braids? Not even a simple hello? 

“Yes,” I answer slowly. “Merry Christmas to you, too. Ada's gone to visit your brothers, then she’s coming to see you.”

He doesn’t seem interested. Instead Thomas gets up and walks closer to look at me. “You’ve changed. Your letters stress more on business instead of pleasure. But you’re still full of spirit.”

So he does read my letters. He just doesn’t bother to respond. Full of spirit, am I? Maybe it’s because I was so desperate to hear from him. Such a contrast to his unaffectionate personality.

“Vader recovered quite well. When he was able to walk I spent the summer helping my brother Eoin and his wife with their four kids so they could take a vacation. You’d change too if you had to learn to wrangle those little schavuits.” 

I walk closer too, dawning a deciphering face that tells him I cannot be so heartless. “In fact… You look different as well. Those glasses…” Is it just me or does Thomas look more tense than before? “I like it. Makes you look… sophisticated. Just like the man everyone in Boston thinks you are.”

Thomas catches on to my cold tone and tries to ignore it. “I see you’re wearing the gift I sent you.”

“Yes I am, thank you very much,” I say gratefully and finger the pendant around my neck. “I love it. I’m surprised you remembered.”

A quaint smile crosses his face. “‘S not every day a girl turns 23.”

True. But what’s happening right now is not about me. I need to redirect him back to the subject at hand.

“You wrote that you wanted me back. Thomas, I’m serious, I am here to help reconnect your family. What plans do you and Charlie have for Christmas?”

Why is he looking at me like that? It’s like he wants to avoid me, glare at me, or hug me. I thought I was conflicted about this visit but I think he beats me. 

“We’re spending Christmas at Arrow House,” Thomas says. “I got him his own horse. A thoroughbred.”

My eyes close and I have to keep from frowning. “Thomas. That’s very sweet, but a horse cannot replace family.”

He takes a puff on his cigarette. “Polly’s seeing spirits. Michael needs cocaine to stay awake. Linda and Esme want to carve my eyes out. Gathering for Christmas is not going to fix this, Verena. Also, Ada tells me you’ve been advertising whiskey on the side.”

I shrug. “Your clients like to drink, my vader makes whiskey. It’s been profitable. Is that so wrong?” He’d be a hypocrite if he disagrees.

Thomas shakes his head and walks over to pour a glass of his own whiskey. “I heard Lizzie mention my recent routines with ladies of the night. Thought you’d have something to say to that, eh? Religious reminders or what not.”

That is it! I’ve had enough!

I clench my fists and make for the door before I punch him in his smug face. “I came here to help your family! Whoever you fuck is not my concern, Thomas. I know I can’t change your mind about it. All you Shelbys ever do is screw around.”

Behind me I hear him hum in surprise. “Still so innocent.”

I spin around and face him with a glare moeder would be proud of. “‘Look like the innocent flower, But be the serpent under ‘t.’ Beware women, Thomas. Their sweet smiles can turn into venomous bites when their motive is strong.” I am not so different.

Thomas raises a brow. “So I shouldn’t trust you either, eh?

I grunt frustratedly and grip my head. “I’m telling you this so you can trust me. Everywhere you send me I’ve seen strong-willed men come undone at a woman’s smile.” My eyes narrow with determination. “I am stronger than that. When a handsome man tries to sway my opinion I know exactly how to correct him.”

Thomas can’t ignore the mention of another man. “And how is that, might I ask?”

I smirk. “A loaded pistol used for a little persuasion never hurts. At least at first.”

Thomas mirrors my grin and raises his glass. “Remind me never to make you mad.”

“You have before. Was I that pleasant?”

His eyes darken. “No.”

I put my hands on my hips. “That’s what I thought.”

Thomas glances at my trunk. “Are you staying in town?”

I grimace at the thought of Ada having to stay with Polly. “I’m stopping by John’s to say hello before the party. I’m planning on going back to Watery Lane so I don’t intrude. People are going to hate me too, Thomas.”

I feel him grab my small hand with his callused one. “Stay at Arrow House for Christmas. There’s more than enough room. Charlie will be happy to see you.”

We’re not getting anywhere. “That’s why I’m here, Thomas. For you and your family. Are you still not going to John’s party?”

Thomas’ blue eyes dart all over my face. “They don’t want anything to do with me. I find myself blessed enough to have you back. I’m not bringing them back into this if they don’t want to.”

And I can’t force him into this because he’s too scared to face them. I’ve got my work cut out. Maybe there can be a Christmas miracle.

“Okay, Thomas. I can stay at Arrow House. But you need to promise me that you will at least make an effort to wish them a ‘Merry Christmas.’”

My acceptance of his offer brings a slight smile to Thomas’ face. “Before you go to John’s there’s something I’d like to show you.”

Of all places to find surprises I would not expect a normal-looking warehouse with no one guarding it. I’m led inside and take in the view of a giant room stocked to the brim with bottles of gin. His own distillery! This kind of progress is just what Thomas needs! A hobby that’s not trying to kill him.

“Goodness! When did this happen?”

Thomas brings out a case of bottles. “Your father’s drink inspired me. Now I use dad’s old recipe to make my own. We’ll still buy your brand, of course.”

I’m still gawking in wonder at the place. “Thomas, this is amazing!”

“Try some?” He holds out a sample glass. “Be honest.”

I take a sip and take in the new flavor. Nothing like vader’s but I give him credit. My taste is very specific. “It’s good. Quite impressive. Do you export?”

Thomas nods proudly. “Yeah. Some I send off to Boston. Your lot drink it up like water.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t want to steal your dad’s business.” Is Thomas Shelby being modest? “Soon enough we’ll produce 200 gallons a week.”

Time to test the waters. “Maybe I can bring some to John? I’m sure he’d like to try some.”

Thomas’ smile fades. “Knowing Esme she’ll spit it on you. You’re really going to play peacemaker, Verena?”

I step closer and feel the same energy from before I left. When I felt like I was where I belonged in the world. He needs to know he’s not traveling this beaten path alone.

“You say I am innocent. Perhaps God is calling me here to spread my positive spirit during this festive season. Your family has seen numerous tragedies, Thomas. You can’t be broken apart. You need to be mended together. That’s why I am here.”

That, and because I love you. Do I go further?

Thomas keeps looking at me as if I’m a mirage. “I can never understand how you still believe we are so righteous and can be saved. That I can be saved. Do you ever want something for yourself?”

Yes. So selfishly yes. But it’s someone I want so selfishly. There are many ways I can answer that.

I spot a clock on the wall. Patience, Steenstra. This cannot be summed up in a few minutes.

“How about we continue this when I get back from John’s tonight? We can catch up properly without any interruptions.”

Thomas wants to keep me here but he knows better than to argue. “We’ll be waiting.”

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 43: Familie

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

The boat ride home feels like I’m being punished. The further away I sail from England the deeper my heartache grows. When I arrive back in the crowded Brooklyn streets all I can think about is waiting for news about the Shelbys' death sentences. 

“Verena!” Oma gushes and wraps me into a warm hug. “Dear kleinkind, you are home! We- Verena? Why the sad face?”

I offer a small smile and set my trunk down. “Homesickness, oma. And… I’m really going to miss my job.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” She hugs me closer. “I’m so sorry. If it's any comfort, we are all glad to have you back. Your vader's been too stubborn to fix that step, and look where it landed him!”

“Verena!” Moeder’s voice shouts from the bedroom. “Run and fetch your vader some morphine!”

“Elowyn, the poor girl just got back!” Oma tries to calm her down.

“She can unpack later. Dochter! Now!”

I steal a quick moment to cry into a pillow before answering. “Yes, moeder.”

So good to be back.

The doctor said vader’s injury will take nearly a year to heal. One whole year. It only takes a month for paranoia to sink in. Every day I wait for Thomas to call. Either with good news of triumph or tragic news of death. It’s not until I’m stuck doing a mountain of laundry when Conor’s wife Delilah calls me over to the phone.

“The name is Shelby. Isn’t that your boss?”

“Yes!” I gasp and wretch the phone from her. “Did they make it in time?”

On the other end Thomas keeps his voice calm. “Just made it. They’re all safe.”

I close my eyes and give a silent prayer of thanks. Dear Christ, they are alive! “They’re going to be angry.”

“I know.” He pauses. “It’s good to hear from you, Verena. I got your letter last week. Please send my best wishes to your father.”

My mouth starts to hurt from how much smiling he’s causing. “I will."

"When will you come back?” He masks his voice to make it unclear if he misses me too.

“I should be back by next December. I’ve been given permission to return to Birmingham once vader’s recovered.” I change to a tone of dry humor. “Thank you, by the way, for sending that persuasive letter.”

“What can I say? It’s not been the same since you left. Charlie keeps asking where you are.”

“Yes, well, when moeder read the letter she was very concerned about why someone like me was being requested by a gang leader.”

I had to swear on my life that there’s nothing scandalous afoot. 

Thomas ignores my implications. “How’s Ada?” 

“According to her calls, our arranged meeting in Boston is still planned. Next Monday we’re meeting with Mr. Anderson.”

“Excellent. Let me know when you’re on your way back.” He waits for a moment, deciding his next words. “It’s- I- Goodbye, Verena.”

I take a deep breath. Typical. “Goodbye, Thomas.”

As I promised, I keep to my word and meet with Ada the following week. She, like Thomas, is surprised with how busy the city is. When I spot her at the Boston docks’ main office Ada greets me with a big hug.

“So good to see you! Did you get the present Tommy sent you?”

“Yes!” 

The silver pendant hangs as a hopeful reminder under my shirt. No cursed jewel. A simple silver pendant with a Celtic cross at the center. Two days after my birthday I received a parcel from Thomas, along with a small note. 

Verena-

You refuse to wear anything of your paygrade so I am gifting you something tied to your devoted faith and heritage. Happy birthday, Verena. Please come back soon.

-Thomas

 I know those words must have been very precisely selected. Whether he does love me or not, the gift always brings joy to my heart.

“And Tommy told you the good news?” Ada asks.

“Yes! They were pardoned!” My smile fades. “Have they yelled at him yet?”

Ada’s face grows grim as well. “Not a word. It’s like no one wants to acknowledge Tommy anymore. Except Michael, that is. He jumped right back in. Finn tries to help when he can. Everyone else walked away.”

I take her hand and give it a squeeze. “Let’s start things off right. Today can bring good fortune to the company, which means good fortune for us.”

We ascend the stairs into the office and find an older man with jet-black hair waiting behind the front desk.

“Hello, Mr. Anderson,” I greet. “I believe you know Christiaan Steenstra?”

He looks me over. “Steenstra, yes. He married that Irish lass from the mob.”

“He is my father. I am his daughter Verena Nora Steenstra.” I gesture to my partner. “May I introduce Ada Shelby. We are here on business for Shelby Company Limited. Thomas Shelby wrote ahead to tell you we were coming.”

The name sparks his memory. “Yes. His instructions were very specific. I have only one question : why do I do business with you? Why doesn’t Shelby come see me himself?”

Ada and I exchange looks. I speak before she can argue with him. “He is a busy man. Saying that, he is a man who is not afraid to let women represent the company. Are we in agreement or would you like some persuasion from the White Hand?”

The name lingers in the air and the blood drains Anderson’s face. “No.”

I smile prosperously. “Then we are decided. Ada, the papers please.”

Once again I owe my leverage to Uncle Colon.

One final week. One week until Christmas, one week until I will be back in Birmingham! Ada’s waiting with the cab outside while I finish packing the last of my clothes. Just then, all five brothers barrel into my bedroom. 

“You’re really doing this, sis?” Eoin asks for the fifth time.

“You’re an American. Not a Brit,” Abel points out.

I clasp the trunk shut. “Must this always end in an argument against the British?”

Liam slaps the side of his head as if I just asked if the sky is blue. “Yes! We beat their tea-drinking asses. Why should you care about some gangster and his shipping company?”

“Need I remind you, Liam, that America’s melting pot is all about international cooperation?”

“America is the best,” Nicolaas mutters.

I face the gang of boys with my hands on my hips. It’s just like lecturing the Shelbys. “Our family comes from other places, too. If Ireland were under attack would you let it burn?”

All five brothers sheepishly look down and shake their heads. “No.”

“Neither would I. That’s why I’m helping.”

“That and you’re sweet on Mr. Shelby,” Liam chuckles under his breath.

I point a warning finger at him. “Shut it. I do not fancy him.”

“Ha!” Conor laughs at my unusual wording. “Verena’s picked up a bit-a-the-’ol English tongue!”

Nicolaas keeps a more mature expression. “Does Uncle Colon know?”

No. I still hesitate to inform my family of exactly who I’m working for. All they know is that I act as a foreign representative for a British trading company. It’s not a lie. If moeder caught on to how dangerous my work can get she would keep me stranded in Brooklyn forever. I can’t tell Uncle Colon how deeply I'm involved with the Peaky Blinders.

“I haven’t told him yet.”

“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t know. The White Hand has spies everywhere.”

Abel catches on to my growing anxiety and leans in to corner me. “There’s something else. What haven’t you told us?”

This is partly why I didn’t want to come back. My brothers’ intentions to protect me involve coaxing out every bit of information about my job. They mean well but I would rather die than expose them to the cruel, brutal world of the Peaky Blinders. How can I convince them not to worry when they keep asking questions?

I bite my lip. “Thomas- My boss… He used to be involved with the Russians.”

Conor’s jaw tightens. “Are you serious?”

“And you’re going along with this?” Nicolaas asks, appalled. “After what they did?”

I keep a look of confidence. “I leave it to Mr. Shelby. My business is anywhere else. He wanted me to chat up Mr. Anderson and now I’m scheduled to head to somewhere in France.”

Liam grunts. “We don’t know a thing ‘bout France.”

“It’s not your concern,” I state firmly. “I can’t do the work of a dozen, but I am able of doing this.”

“You can stand to work for them?” Eoin asks in disbelief.

“Aside from all their sex talk?” Abel’s jaw drops at my laid-back tone. “It’s tolerable. The drinking, smoking, swearing. It’s all old news to me now.”

All five brothers exchange looks. Are they ganging up on me? Do they not think I can handle myself after all these years?

“Verena,” Conor begins. “You’ve changed. Ever since you started working for this guy you’ve been distant. It’s like you don’t want to see us anymore.”

My face falls. Is that how they see me? They know me better than to think I would want to avoid them.

“Broers. I love you all. I love my familie. I will never abandon you. Did I not leave England to aid vader when he was injured?” They all look to the floor again. “And Eoin, I just spent the last three months watching your children. How is that not loyalty?” He doesn’t answer. “But I am loyal to the Shelbys too. I love them all, even with their flaws.”

“You’re so loyal that you’re spending Christmas away from us?” Abel asks softly.

I take a deep breath. “This time of year is supposed to be when people gather and celebrate the spirit of the season. This year has been really hard on the Shelbys and I want to be there to help.”

“You talk as if they’re family oriented like us,” Nicolaas observes. “Yet the rumor is that no one’s getting along.”

A bittersweet smile grows on my face as I lean in to give my broers one last hug. “That’s why I have to go.”

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 31: My Own Person

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

It’s a good thing I didn’t even bother to unpack. If luck is on my side I can slip out the kitchen door and be gone before any tears can fall. I hurry down the stairs and down the echoing hallway. Muffled chatter from the party seeps through the walls. Almost there-!

“You’re leaving?”

Christ, why did he have to find me? He should be too occupied with his bride and their guests.

I turn around slowly to face Thomas with as steady of a face I can muster. “I’ll be in town for a few days, then I’m off.”

He starts walking closer. “You’re more than welcome to stay on Watery Lane-”

“It’s already settled. Polly arranged it for me.”

I turn away and reach for the door again-

“I have an idea,” Thomas says. “Since we’re in Arrow House now, why don’t you live there? For good? Then you can work for us without having to travel so much.”

Can I afford to be submerged in more disappointment? He only means to be generous and hospitable but keeping this close to him will only cut my heart deeper. Can’t he see that?

“Thomas, that’s very thoughtful. But it’s-”

“There you are, darling!” A perky voice rings down the hall. It’s Grace. “Oh, are you leaving?”

Her subtle mocking disappointment does little to hide the relief in her eyes. She wants him all to herself and I can’t say I blame her.

“Yes, yes I am. Would it be possible to meet Charlie before I go?”

Grace, still wearing the same disgustingly sweet smile, shakes her head. “I’m afraid he’s sleeping.”

Of course. I can’t even meet their son. 

“Congratulations, Thomas. Grace.” I look between the two. “I will take my leave now back to Birmingham.”

“I’ll arrange for a car to drive you,” Thomas immediately inputs and begins showing me to the door.

Thomas. Please stop. “That’s really not necessary-”

“Nonsense.”

Try to play it off. “I see,” I smile charmingly. “There’s more than enough cars, eh? Trying to fluff your feathers, eh?”

Thomas rolls his eyes. “Very funny. I’ll go find you a driver.”

Before he walks off, Grace places a simple kiss on his cheek. She’s testing me. She’s reaching across with her left hand to show off the new wedding band on her finger. That does it. When Thomas is out of sight I face her with a tamed temper.

“Will you stop that?” I hiss. “Please stop flaunting your good fortune and leave me alone.”

Her smile falls. “I’m not-”

“We’re both on the same page, Grace. I’m not a fucking idiot. Don’t forget it’s your own fault it happened this way. You betrayed Thomas and he had the common sense to forget you. But you kept growing on him. Tempting him. Even after you married another man. You both committed adultery.” Her eyes widen at my statement and I put my hands on my hips defiantly. “Yes. I figured it out. Sin always catches up with you, Grace.”

She crosses her arms. “I love Charlie. I love Tommy-”

“Then quit whining when he’s distant,” I explain softly. “Thomas has always been a workaholic so you knew what you signed up for. It will take a miracle for him to change.”

Her gaze sharpens. “Don’t think I don’t know. You love him.”

Seems that everyone’s figured out except the man himself. I’m trapped in an endless circle of mockery and desire. Grace already has suspicions of my family. Will she try to spill this too?

I close my eyes and nod. “Yes. I do. But unlike some, I can control myself and walk away with quiet, dignity, and… grace.” Before my American side can flare up again I begin walking back to wait in the kitchen. “I love him, and that’s why I’m not staying. He chose you, Grace. Never take that lightly.”

Grace must believe me because the spite in her eyes has been replaced with surprised regret. See? Not all women are sniveling bitches.

“Verena, I… I’m sorry.”

Still looking away, she can’t see my annoyed face. “I wish I could say the same. Maybe if this world weren’t so barbaric we could have been friends.”

Back to the kitchen. Mother was right. My place is here. Providing a meal, keeping everyone happy but myself. There has to be a better life than this.

“Hey!” Thomas struts in. “I’m sorry, you’ll have to wait a bit longer for that ride back. Finn made me promise to keep the car waiting so you could visit more.”

Part of my frustration melts away. “That little rascal. Where is he?”

“Joining the others outside.”

Then that is where I shall go.

“Be careful!” Thomas calls when I walk past. “They can get a bit rough.”

After all the pain, at least I can keep seeing those crystal eyes. Some fresh air will do me some good. I just need to get past these expensive people.

I squeeze past an older gentleman and almost bump into someone. “Excuse me.”

“Pardon me,” the woman replies in a Russian accent. “We have not met. Who are you?”

The accent throws me off. Back away. Back away. 

I purse my lips. “Verena Steenstra. Who might you be?”

The dark-haired woman smiles. “Duchess Tatiana Petrovna.”

A royal. A Russian royal. No, no. I do not need that. “Pleasure to meet you. Excuse me.”

More rich blood, more unwanted drama. But it also just gave me an idea. A quick phone call might be in order before I depart tonight.

I leave my trunk by the front step and spy a group of men gathering by flickering torches. One silhouette is waving at me.

“Oi, Verena! Where’s your man?” Finn calls.

“Why would I have one?” I ask as I approach. “I’m only visiting.”

“Still no lucky man, eh?”

I punch his shoulder playfully. “You should talk. Where’s your girl, Finn?”

He waves me off. “Alright, alright. How’ve you been?”

How have I been? I just watched the man I love marry someone else, Finn. What am I supposed to feel?

“As good as I can, I suppose,” I answer instead. “Yourself?”

In the dim light his eyes spark with excitement. “Fantastic! I can carry out an educational conversation with them uniforms, no problem.”

I hum in approval. “Good to hear my work hasn’t been wasted.”

“I’m always up for a lesson, Verena.”

“Oi, Finn!” One of the Blinders shouts. “Get yourself a girl?”

We both stiffen and look at each other with disarray. 

“She’s not mine,” Finn explains quickly. “She’s her own person.”

The Blinder steps closer with a wicked smirk. “So she’s available, eh?”

Finn steps over and pushes him away with the same force Thomas would display. “No. Hands off. You don’t like it, talk to Tommy.” The man walks off muttering to himself and Finn looks over with embarrassment. “‘M sorry, Verena. They’re half-drunk-”

“It’s alright, Finn,” I sigh. “Nobody looks at me the same when they find out I’m single. Where I’m from it’s fine for men but a lady staying single this long raises a few eyebrows.”

A few minutes go by and we sit in comfortable silence in the golden light. “Are you upset about Tommy?”

I feel my chest tighten. “I can’t be upset on his wedding day,” I whisper. “He’s happy.”

“But are you?” Finn presses.

I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head. “That doesn’t count. If you all are happy then I’m happy.”

“Verena. Are you happy?”

He takes my hand. He wants me to open up but I fear that will not end well. Jesus, Finn. Through these years of lessons I’ve taught you too much about empathy. Now you’re twisting my own methods against me.

“It’s incredible how he can see past me,” I murmur just so he can hear. “Thinks nothing’s changed between us. But he’s a married man now. I guess he feels differently. I just wish he would stop trying to reach out and see how much it hurts.”

Instead of telling me to move on or offering a drink Finn shakes his head quietly. “Someone like you shouldn’t have to go through this. You’re too nice.”

“Even mean people deserve to find love,” I point out.

He raises his eyebrows at me. “See? That’s what I mean. Nice.” More seconds of silence go by before he speaks again. “I would take you, you know. But I know you don’t think of me that way.”

How is this sweet young man the brother of the brutal gangsters?

“That’s very kind of you, Finn. Maybe down the line if we’re both old and gray then my family will force me to marry and I can choose you. But you’re right. I do love you but not in the way people expect.”

“It’d be nice if you were a sister,” he grumbles. “Not her.”

I point a warning finger at him. “That’s not up to us. Be nice to her, Finn. She’s your family now.”

He lets out a heavy sigh. “John and Arthur think so. Polly pretends to think so. Tommy’s forgotten how she betrayed us.”

“It’s his decision.” I change to a more firm tone. “Promise me you won’t tell a soul about what I said. It will undo everything if you do.”

Finn nods. “I promise.”

Good. Good, good. Now I won’t be the only one who’s seeing how blinded Thomas is. I can work for Shelby Company Limited far away from Thomas. Well, technically I could return home and give in to mother’s rants. Get married to someone new, a stranger… Who am I kidding? I don’t want that yet. What I do know is that I think I've had my share of tonight’s events.

“It’s getting late. I should be going- Where are you going?” I ask when I see Finn climbing onto a horse Johnny Doggs is holding.

“For a ride,” he replies.

“For a race!” Johnny announces. “Want to watch, Steenstra?”

I put my hands on my hips. “Absolutely not. Finn, this is dangerous-”

“Alright place your bets!” Johnny ignores me and starts leading the horse away. “Pick your favorites! ‘Cause I hope my boy Finn doesn’t fall off the fucking horse.”

Someone walks up behind me and the familiar smell of cigarettes and cologne tells me it’s Thomas. “Here you are. I think Finn will allow you to go now, eh?”

“Yes,” I answer, watching him ride off with a crowd of men surrounding him. “He’s much more occupied now. He’s grown up.”

“You’re not going to watch?”

I stride back to the steps and retrieve my trunk. “As fun as it would be to take part in whatever shenanigans you’ve got planned for tonight I must decline. You lot might be able to still sneak this insanity into your lives but I’m done with it.”

Thomas regards me with calculating eyes. “You’ve changed too.”

No shit, Thomas! Today I’ve had to mourn the only love I’ve known and you’re completely oblivious to it!

“No. I’ve learned to put my foot down.”

Thomas leads me to the other side of the mansion where a line of cars are parked. How many vehicles does one need?

“Well, have your pick.” He gestures to the lot. “Got a favorite?”

His eagerness brings a smile despite my deep sadness. “They’re all gorgeous, Thomas.”

I end up picking the Bentley 3 Litre. A hired hand starts the engine and Thomas loads my luggage into the trunk. He opens the door and I climb inside. The car starts driving down the dusty driveway and as I watch Thomas through the window I give a small wave. 

Goodbye. It kills me to do this but I must quarantine myself from you, Thomas. Your kindness will only disembowel my heart faster.

“Birmingham, Watery Lane. Is that correct, Ms. Steenstra?” The driver asks politely.

“Actually I will be staying somewhere else tonight, if you wouldn’t mind. And could you possibly keep it confidential from Mr. Shelby?”

Okay, now I see where Thomas is getting his wealthy inspiration from. This mansion is no less grand than Arrow House. But what’s different this time is that the person waiting at the front door will understand my situation.

“Hello, Mrs. Charleton.”

The woman dismisses the name with a wave. “May, please. How is America?”

“Party central, apparently. Much less hostile.”

She catches on to my hidden bitterness. “I assume you just came from Tommy’s place?”

I let out a slow breath and look up to face her. “Is it that obvious?”

May opens the door and allows me inside, giving me a look of sympathy. “Sadly, yes. Is Thomas stringing you on?”

I shake my head, now looking at the wall with distant eyes. “He’s never done that. At least not consciously. Besides he would never do that to Grace. Seems that every time I see him he assumes we’re old chums. He’ll always see me as a therapist, not a romantic interest.”

The mention of Grace isn’t enjoyed by May either. We’re both parts of the basket that didn’t get picked. Each of us got hooked by Thomas’ charm. My one saving grace is that I didn’t give in to the temptation of lust. But time can wither a person away.

“Do you know she’s helping to run the new Shelby Charity Foundation?” May says as I slump into a seat facing the warm fireplace. “No doubt Thomas is trying to improve his public image. Next thing you know he’ll be knighted.”

I scoff and glare at the roaring flames. “How generous.”

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 30: Pretend

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

Back at Arrow House the gathering seems to split up into two groups: Grace’s side and Thomas’ side. On one side stands cheerful grins and partying hooligans. The other has tight-smiling women and military uniforms. I don’t belong here. And as much as she pretends Grace doesn’t think so either.

“Verena? Why are you back here?” 

My hiding spot in the kitchen has been discovered. Why does Finn get more grown up every time I see him?

“Sorry, Finn. Not feeling too social. I hardly know anyone here!”

“That can be fixed.” He points to the party going on outside.

“Polite pass. I shouldn’t really be here, you know.” I hold up a gift basket. “My father’s sent me here with fresh whiskey as gifts for the newlyweds. His regards for your hospitality.”

The youngest Shelby joins me on the stone steps. “Even so, what’s important is that you’re here. It’s been two years. We all missed you.” He nudges my shoulder. “Again.”

“I know, I know. But there’s nothing else tying me here anymore. Polly argued with Thomas to let me stay but he says my debt has been paid. If I stick around it’s of my own accord and that would look very suspicious.”

“You can still work for Shelby Brothers Limited,” Finn suggests.

“No offense, but I want to establish my life around a career that’s not illegal.”

He shows mock offense to my words. “That’s not true. We’ve weeded out most of the illegal rubbish.”

“Oi! Finn! Where’d you go off to?”

Finn hops to his feet. “That’s Jackson! Be right back!”

He runs out to join his friend and I’m left alone in the drafty kitchen. Wearing a wrinkled blue dress, sipping watered down whiskey, and thinking about broken dreams. Is this how Thomas feels when he’s depressed?

Footsteps alert my attention to the back door just in time to see John walk in. “Finn said I’d find you here.”

My brow furrows in frustration and I have to look down. “I’m- I shouldn’t be here, John. Everyone can see it. I’m the oddball American. I can’t go unnoticed because people always look at me funny when I speak.”

I hear him walk over and he kneels next to me. “Verena, you do need to be here. For all of us. Tommy was so happy when he heard you were coming. Now, before you say anything, I do admit even I’m disappointed it’s not you walking down the aisle.” He speaks faster when he sees my shock. “But please understand that you being here is important. And the bit about you being American? Flaunt it! It’s what makes you. You’re proud of your heritage, eh?”

My posture straightens and I set my jaw firm. “Without question.”

He pats my back. “Then don’t let those stuffy sods get you down. Here, drink this.”

I gratefully take the shot. “L’Chaim. Now I should go give my best wishes to the happy couple instead of just hiding in the kitchen-”

“Not quite yet,” John makes me sit back down. “Tommy’s holding a meeting. You’re part of this too! I’m gonna go find Arthur.”

All the Blinder boys begin crowding in. Finn’s back too. So many familiar faces. Michael, Jeremiah, Isaiah, Johnny Doggs. Um, this is not a meeting I’m meant to be part of. It doesn’t feel right.

“Finn, I’m not sure-” I stutter and start inching towards the back door. “I’m not a gangster, I’m not family-”

“The Hell you’re not!” Finn grabs my arm and hides me behind the pantry. “Get in here, Verena.”

People part away and Thomas steps in front of the group. When he sees me standing next to Finn he gets confused.

“Verena? Why’re ya hiding back here?”

I’m surprised he noticed my absence. “Just tired is all. I had a long trip.”

“How long will you stay?” Is that hope hidden in his voice?

“A few days, perhaps.” I take a sip of whiskey. “Then I’m heading to Belfast to respond to a note from my uncle.”

His face falls. “That soon?”

Why else would I stay? He’s got his bride and his son. I’m not part of the equation. And he’s quick to forget it because now Thomas is scanning the crowd for the rest of his brothers.

“Where are they? Where-?”

“I don’t know, Tommy-”

The door opens and Arthur and John bust in carrying wine. “Here we are! We got lost. You really need to do a map, Tommy.”

Thomas has looked stressed before but this is a new form of stress. He keeps looking at everyone like a dog growling at intruders.

“Right boys, you’re all here. Today, this is my fucking wedding day.”

Oh no, I’ve walked right into the warning speech. Thomas is off the leash. That cigarette is never going to provide enough nicotine to get him through this.

“And you said there’d be no bloody uniforms-” John complains.

“Nevertheless, John, despite the bad blood I’ll have none of it on my carpet. Now for Grace’s sake nothing will go wrong.” He holds up his hands in an attempt to calm people down and points to the door. “Those bastards out there are her family. And if you fuckers do anything to emberass her, your kin, your cousins, your horses, your fucking kids, you do anything…”

John speaks up. “Tom-”

“What?!” he barks.

His brother flinches and Isiah asks instead. “What about snow?”

“Yeah their women are sports I’ll say that!” John agrees and gets him in a headlock.

“No. No. No.” Thomas approaches them in an eerily steady but scary voice. “No cocaine. No cocaine. No sports. No telling fortunes, no racing, no fucking sucking petrol out of their fucking cars. And you, Charlie, stop spinning yarns about me, eh?”

“‘M just trying to sell ya to ‘em, Tom,” his uncle defends.

Thomas isn’t done. He keeps getting in everyone’s face. I really shouldn’t be here! I don’t want him to get more agitated than he already is. But I can’t sneak past Finn without him noticing. He’s pacing now. Like a caged animal.

“But the main thing is, you bunch-a fuckers, despite the provocation from the calvary, no fighting. Oi!” He raises his voice and points to each individual. “No fighting. No fucking fighting. No fighting. No! Fucking! Fighting!”

I think we can all agree that this is extreme, even for Thomas. Are all English weddings this uptight? If it were a wedding back home we’d all be dancing by now. Next to me I feel Finn’s as tense as frozen butter. But at least Thomas is starting to cool down.

“Good.” He backs up just as an unsuspecting hired hand and gives him a shove. “Get the fuck off me!”

So much for no fighting. All the men start laughing and go back to their usual bantering. Maybe I went unseen after all.

“Coast is clear,” Finn whispers. 

“Are you okay?”

He nods repeatedly. “Yup, yup. We all got an earful from Tommy.”

Arthur walks over. “Speaking of, where did Tommy go?”

“Upstairs with Grace,” John says and claps him on the back. “C’mon let’s eat.”

They expect me to follow but I shake my head. “No offense but I’m not staying around for dinner. If the simple drinks and conversing are this awkward I don’t even want to think about what dinner will be like.”

“Oh, come on.” John drags me out of my hiding place and into the ginormous parlor. “For Polly and Ada’s sake.”

I spot the two women conversing in the corner. “They seem fine without me. What about you, Arthur? You’ve been sober this whole time.”

He smiles proudly. “Gave up whiskey. Only the occasional drink. Oh, wait!” He spots someone behind me and walks over with a blonde woman wearing an elegant black dress with a simple cross necklace. “Steenstra, meet Linda. My girl.”

She offers a kind smile. “You are a woman of God as well?”

Oh. Skip straight to that kind of conversation. “Indeed.”

Her smile widens. “Are you Catholic?”

“I am a Christian. My father let my brothers and I choose our own path rather than setting us up in one dominion. In the end we’re all Christians.”

She wants to keep smiling but her eyes don’t agree with my answer. “I see.”

I nod to where Arthur and John are bringing out more wine. “Arthur seems quite happy now. I’m glad you found him.”

“He just needed someone to guide him,” Linda comments. “I love him very much. Do you have a special someone back home?”

There are so many ways I could answer that.

“I thought I had someone special,” I say, avoiding her gaze by taking a sip of whiskey. “But things change.”

“Do you still plan to marry one day?”

What is with this woman? She just met me. Why do weddings always have to make everyone crowd up in everyone else’s private life?

“If I can find the right man.” I shrug. “Or if my family forces me to marry first. I don’t know how much time I’ve got left.”

“I can fix that!”

A hand tugs me away and I’m twirled around to face Ada. Why does she look like she’s up to something?

I pull away and back off slowly with my hands raised. “Ada, no. I have no interest in whatever suitable bachelor you picked out for me. I’m off the table. I’m only here for your family. Now please excuse me.”

Need to find Thomas. Need to find Thomas! Then I can escape this stuffy house and forget all about today. Thank God! Both Grace and Thomas are in the side room with the rest of the gangsters. I can give one big goodbye instead of many individual ones.

“There you are!” Thomas smiles. “We’re- Wait. What’s this?”

Everyone looks as I hand them both the gift basket and hold up my nearly-empty glass to give a quick toast.

“To the bride, to the groom. May your love prosper in the eyes of God. To the Peaky Blinders and the hope you provide.”

I chug the last of my whiskey and slip back into the crowd before they can hold me to another conversation. I’m sick of pretending to be happy. Even if this is supposed to be a special day. As much as I want to join the extravagant celebration my heart just isn’t in for it. My heart feels like it’s about to choke me.

Satisfaction slips through my fingers once again.

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 41: A New Beginning?

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

Every minute feels like an hour. I sit and wait, sit and wait. The second Finn walks through the door again I hold up a kitchen knife, ready to strike.

“Alright, Finn,” I start off sternly. “Nobody’s told me anything about what the fuck’s going on, so spill it. Tell. Me. Everything.”

Finn swallows and backs up against the wall. “Okay. Okay. I don’t know too much! There was a deal with the priest that if Tommy blows up a train and robs the Russians then he gets Charlie back. Tommy said to wait to hear from Michael in case he finds Charlie. Now please put the knife down!”

My shaking hand lowers the weapon and lets it clatter to the floor. “None of this feels right, Finn,” I murmur distantly. “All of this is forced too fast. The train, the robbery… Haste makes waste.”

Finn pauses and reaches to put a hand on my shoulder. “You alright?”

“I… I’m scared. For everyone,” I choke out.

“You’re taking all of our own stress on yourself, Verena.”

“It’s Charlie!” I gasp. “I cannot calm down when there is a child involved!”

Ring! Ring!

The phone makes us both jump. Finn snatches the receiver and I hang on to every second.

“Hello? Yeah. He did? Yeah. Right away.” He sets the phone down and sprints for the door. “Michael killed the priest! Charlie’s safe now! I gotta go tell ‘em before they blow up the train!”

Thank Christ! Praise the angels, Charlie is safe! Enough with all this talk of sabotage and robbery. The next time I see Thomas I have some select words about this violence! But I can’t be too harsh. The poor man just got his son back- But he doesn’t know yet!

“I’m coming with you!” I jump to my feet and follow Finn to the car.

“No you’re-!” He stops when he sees the murderous look in my eyes. “Alright, fine.”

We jump in the car and burn rubber to speed towards the train tracks. Everything is happening so fast! The only thing keeping me from vomiting is the fact that Charlie is safe. Finn takes a sharp turn and I’m thrown against the window. Through the glass I see the train making its way past the tower. Are we too late?

Finn gets out and we both sprint across the tracks to shout at Arthur.

“Arthur! Wait! Charlie’s safe-!”

Boom!

The explosion knocks me down and I trip on my skirt, tumbling against the cold metal. I lift my head to see shards of steel, rock, and fire rushing straight at me. I feel Finn throw himself over me and we wait for the wave of fire to pass. 

“Holy Christ…” I gasp.

The only thing remaining from the train is its flaming metal skeleton. No one could pick apart any survivors from the rubble. 

Finn helps me up and I see Arthur and John waving from the building. They pull out cigars and despite my urge to return to the house I can’t forget what just happened. These lives did not need to be taken. All of this evil surrounds the priest, whom I hope has witnessed a brutal fate. 

I run back to the car and pull it around for the Shelbys to climb inside. I push the accelerator and Finn tries to explain as we weave through the dark streets.

“Michael killed the priest. He’s got Charlie. He’s headed back to Watery Lane- Slow down!”

“I’m not stopping until I see Charlie!” I say firmly and pull up to the house.

We burst through the door and the sight nearly makes me collapse in relief. Charlie, sweet Charlie, is cradled safely in Ada’s arms. Smiling like nothing ever happened. Michael looks dazed too and Polly knows. She knows the sin he committed to ensure Charlie’s return.

“Charlie!” I cry when Ada hands him to me, immediately resting his head on my shoulder. “Darling boy! We missed you!”

“Daddy?”

I hold back happy tears and nod shakily. “Yes, daddy is on his way.”

He doesn’t know. Doesn’t know how close he came to being taken. I pray that Charlie never remembers this night.

Ada and I take him to the kitchen to be fed. Lord knows when he ate last or if that bastard gave him anything. Charlie takes one bite of bread and starts devouring it. Deep breath, Steenstra. He’s here. He’s here.

“Verena!” Polly yells from the hall. “Bring Charlie over! It’s Tommy!”

I pick Charlie up and race him across the room, swinging him to provoke more laughter. Thomas must be worried sick!

“Charlie, say hi to daddy,” I say sweetly and hold up the phone.

Charlie coos into the receiver and I hear Thomas cry in relief.

“Charlie? Hey, there’s my boy. Are you tired?” Charlie babbles a response and I can tell Thomas must be smiling. “You go to bed now, eh? I love you. Goodnight… Verena?”

I hold the phone to my ear, still bouncing Charlie. “I’m here, Thomas.”

“Thank you.”

“Please come home. He misses you.”

“I will, I will,” he pants. “Bring him to Arrow House.”

“Affirmative.”

Despite Polly’s begging to make me wait until morning, I pack a small bag and instruct Finn to bring a car out for me. I secure Charlie in the front seat and smoothly depart for Warwickshire, a complete contrast to the reckless driving I demonstrated an hour ago. It’s barely dawn when we ride down the driveway and my eyelids feel incredibly heavy. But I never stop. Mary helps me get Charlie settled in bed and I finally sink into a large armchair. With a blank mind and glazed eyes I stare at his bedroom door across the hall. The sun has barely risen…

Ring! Ring!

Thomas?! I flinch out of my sleepiness and fall to the floor. I crawl to the table and grip the phone.

“Hello?”

“Am I right to guess that this is Ms. Steenstra?” A familiar voice asks. “This is Alfie Solomons. Has Mr. Shelby’s son been cared for?”

Solomons. The man Michael told me is the reason Thomas’ original plan failed. The events that transpired to Charlie being put in danger.

“If you know my uncle it must be on bad terms,” I speak darkly, confining all the sharp cusses wanting to fly off my tongue. “Edmund Colon would never be allies with a man who’s obsessed with wealth.”

“He runs a business, same as I.”

“For the people,” I hiss. “My uncle supplies help to those who need it, for a price. He doesn’t cross between sides for profit. He chooses the good side.”

Seconds of silence. “You don’t seem like the type to follow Tommy Shelby around,” Mr. Solomons observes.

“His morals are far above yours. When children are involved we draw the line. You do not. Good day, Mr. Solomons.”

I hang up the phone and collapse on the carpet. No more threats. Charlie is safe. Thomas is coming back. All is well… My eyelids fall shut and my melted thoughts send me off to sleep.

Thud! Thud! Thud!

Loud footsteps shake the floor and startle me awake. Floorboards creak next to me and someone shakes my shoulder. I peel my hair away and see Thomas staring at me with wide eyes.

“Charlie?” He whispers.

“Yes,” I answer softly and point to his room. “I don’t know if he’s still asleep. He’s fine. Not a scratch, I made sure.” I get to my feet, trying to wake up. “I’ll be downstairs.”

Thomas squeezes my arm and pulls me into the child’s room. Inside a maid sits playing with Charlie, who looks up at his father with a wide grin. Thomas scoops him up and holds Charlie so tight as if he’ll disappear. Kissing his cheek and trying to control his labored breathing. Just like last night Charlie has no inkling of how relieved his father is to see him.

“Thank God. Thank God,” Thomas murmurs.

“Daddy? Okay?” Charlie asks, confused.

“He’s really happy to see you,” I smile at the heartwarming scene. “Are you hungry, Charlie? Want some breakfast?”

“Yeah!”

“Then you shall have some,” Thomas says and carries him out, down the stairs to the dining room. 

“Are you hungry, Thomas?” I ask while we wait for Mary.

He hugs Charlie again and shakes his head. “I will not rest until everything is tied up. The duchess and I have one last transaction to meet over and then I’m calling a family meeting.”

Mary walks in with a tray for Charlie. He starts eating the cut pears and suddenly Thomas pulls me out into the hall. 

“Thomas wha-?” 

He sits me down onto a bench, kneels down, wraps his arms around me and buries his head in my chest. I go stiff as a board and desperately try to think of what to do with my hands. Push him off? Hug him? Rub his head?

“A-Are you okay?” I stutter.

“Just… Just need someone to tie me down,” he murmurs. “Clear my head.”

The image of the snickering duchess flashes through my memory. “I thought you’d-”

“She’s not you,” Thomas reads my mind. “You want to listen, she just wants to fuck.”

“Oh,” I try to respond to his bluntness. “Okay. Please tell me that after today the duchess is gone?”

Thomas lifts his head to look at me. Those blue eyes that once held worry and fear now stare at me with calmness. “Off to Vienna. To marry, I assume. Jealous?”

My breath hitches. “Jealousy causes viciousness. I try to stay clear of that.” Not exactly a no. 

Thomas’ gaze turns distant and he leans his head down again. “They had him…”

“Shh.” I run my fingers through his soft hair. “Charlie’s alright. He’s safe and sound. He slept like an angel, and has the appetite of a newborn.”

“‘S my fault, I should’ve-”

“Thomas.” I hold his head in my hands and make him look up. “You need to decide. Are you a Peaky Blinder or a father? You know how your father turned out. Do you want to end up like him?”

“No,” he answers quickly.”

“Then stop digging too deep. Dig any further and the foundations will crack.” I pause for a second. “What if you stopped?”

“Hm?” Thomas’ brow creases and he presses his lips together. 

“You and Charlie stay here at Arrow House for good. Where no one’s pointing a gun at you. Away from the violence.”

Thomas lifts his head, standing us both up with his arms still around me. “My life is centered around my family, Verena. If I stay here I’ll be leaving them behind. Violence will always follow me.”

If he keeps this up there will be none of his family left.

Knock knock.

Mary stands at the end of the hall. “He wants you, Mr. Shelby.”

“Thanks, Mary. He’ll be right out,” I call and look back at Thomas with a wise gaze. “Breathe. Charlie’s fine, we’re all fine. God is with us.”

He stares down, mouth slightly gaping. “Verena. Thank you.”

A gentle smile grows on me. “I’ll always listen.”

Thomas takes a second to let me go, as if forgetting he was still holding me, and strides back to the dining room. Is this the beginning of how things fall into place? That I can express my feelings and he will listen for a change? 

A fresh shower is in order to clear my head. As I wander to the bathroom I can’t stop the tsunami of hope rushing into me. Charlie is safe. The company is profiting. Everything is being tied up. Is this the start of something new? Granted, Thomas is right in thinking that violence will always plague the Peaky Blinders. Still… One can have hope.

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 27: All In The Same Basket

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

Thud.

The door shuts and footsteps approach me. Thomas hasn’t been home all night and I don’t think twice about what happened. That bloody bastard. Of course he slept with her! May isn’t enough so he’s desperate enough to have a married woman! Perdition surely waits for him now.

“Morning,” I greet lightly when he walks in, bitterness hidden beneath. “Have some eggs.”

He looks even happier now. If I feel awful it’s my fault alone. I’m the one chaining myself to this, not him. 

“Do you plan to tell May?”

It’s asked so simply yet held with so much emotion. Thomas doesn’t ask how I know. 

“I do. I won’t string her hopes out.”

“At least you have the decency to do that,” I mutter.

“Grace mentioned New York,” Thomas says and I can tell what he’s thinking. “Said something about the people in Brooklyn being less friendly than the others. Know anything about that?”

I huff and all but throw the frying pan into the dish water. “No offense Thomas, but I do not bring my work home with me. I do not want your problems following me to my home. I simply requested that she stayed away.”

Instead of yelling Thomas stays calm. “Grace doesn’t mean any harm.”

“I know. She’s a nice person. But after the lies she told, I don’t want that in my life. The only way I will let this business into my life is if you agree to partner with my father.”

Have a taste of your own medicine, Thomas Shelby. How do you like it when someone pretends to care only for profit? Only instead of extracting sexual pleasures I am acquiring benefits for my family.

“I see.” Now his voice changes to the cold tone I remember. “He needs business just as much as I.”

I shake my head. “Prohibition hasn’t done well for my family. Capone only trades with the Italians and hates the Irish with a passion. If you partner with my family it would help a lot.”

“He’ll do it.”

We both look to see Polly standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

“Oh really, Pol?”

“You make a deal with her or Verena gets a 20% cut,” his aunt orders.

My eyes widen and I wave my hands. “No. No. We don’t accept handouts. We just want to sell whiskey. Even if it’s slightly illegal.”

“So you shall,” Thomas announces, looking between both of us with annoyment. “When do we draw the contract, eh?”

“After the race,” Polly says.

Right. The race. Another derby day full of crowds, gambling, and drinking. Just like the stories of the Sheepshead races Uncle Steenstra talks about. If John plays his cards right then Arthur will be joining us.

I finish putting the finishing touches on my makeup and yell out the door. “Ready, Finn?” 

A scampering noise gets closer and closer and Finn all but crashes into my room. He hastily adjusts his coat and stands to attention.

“As always,” he pants. “Maybe this time you can actually see the race. Nice hat.”

A lovely addition, if I do say so myself. Who knew Polly had such nice hats hidden in her closet? “I thought I’d dress for the occasion. Where’s this race?”

“In Epsom. I promised John I’d escort you to the meeting so you know the plan.”

“Is Ada coming?” I ask as I follow him to the door.

“Yeah, but Tommy’s meeting with her. Said it’s private.”

Don’t be mad. She’s his sister. You just work here. Forget all about Thomas and enjoy yourself for once.

Out in the street we see the cavalry has arrived and is waiting next to a covered truck. Along with John.

“Is Arthur meeting us there?” I ask.

“You tell me!” Arthur walks out from behind the truck, arms spread triumphantly.

My face breaks into a smile. “Arthur! You son-of-a-gun! How was prison?”

“Fucking Hell.”

Another man walks up and I recognize him from the horse sale Thomas took me to. A member of the Lees, I think. An odd man, wearing a patterned ascot.

“Johnny Doggs.” He tips his hat. “Ms. Steenstra. The boys and I must apologize for the last time you met us. Let it be known that today we’re all on the same side.”

Some of the Lees remove their hats while others give me friendly waves.

I give John a cheeky grin. “You told them to say that, didn’t you?”

The Shelby brother rolls his eyes. “They wanted to say sorry. Can we move on?”

“Here comes the boss,” Johnny points to someone behind me.

The handsome gangster struts towards us, cigarette in hand. Being surrounded by the Shelby brothers and Lees really helps distract from any previous emotions for him. It’s time to get my head in the game and be a valuable part of this team.

“There he is.” Thomas opens his arms and embraces his freed brother.

Arthur huffs. “You’re late.”

“I had business.”

“How the fuck did you get me out-a that?”

Thomas claps his shoulder. “I need you today, brother. Pulled some strings. You alright?”

Arthur’s frown is replaced with a grateful smirk. “I am now.”

“So he’s in charge now?” John asks.

“That’s right. And you two are in charge of him,” Thomas clarifies. Finn starts to object but gets cut off. “Finn, you don’t obey orders, you don’t come.” He turns to Johnny Doggs. “Will the Lees be there?”

“The Lees will be there, captain.”

Thomas squints. “Captain?”

“Aye, we promoted you. The boys decided you’re no longer like a sergeant major, fucking them fancy women and using those fancy words.”

I hide my laugh along with the rest of the men. This is hilarious! Thomas is getting joked on and I’m allowed to find it funny!

“Fine, but I’ll take it as a compliment,” Thomas complies. “Just don’t shoot me. Let’s go to the Derby, boys!”

He waves for them to jump in the truck but hesitates when he sees Finn helping me up.

“She’s coming too. I promised she could see a race,” John says.

He thinks for a second. “Very well. Stay in the back while we rally the others.”

Screw you, Thomas Shelby. I’m not waiting around for you to permit me to help. This American can’t be tamed by your charm.

“My God, this place is huge!” I marvel at the elaborate racetrack. “Where are the horses?”

“Over there.” Thomas points to a series of white tents. “You can come with me to see her, if you’d like.”

“Won’t say no to that!”

I don’t wait for him to catch up. This is what a real horse race is like? No wonder Thomas loves horses so much. He shows me to a tent and I spot May waiting inside next to a very sturdy speckled horse.

Thomas wastes no time and begins inspecting the animal. Brushing her coat and checking her eyes.

“Looks in fine shape. Hello hello hello. Kushti bok. Kushti bok, eh?” He murmurs to the horse. “Any troubles?” 

May, still with her arms crossed, shakes her head. “Not at all. Go, drink and enjoy the race. I’ll join later. It's fine, I’ll stay down here in the mud.”

Her words draw out a dose of sympathy from me. Oh, May. You got caught in this too. Unfortunately none of us will be the last to fall for him. We just need to pick up the pieces and move on-

Just then Thomas leans in and presses a kiss on her surprised lips. I take the time to wander off to the corner and inspect the other horses. After everything he still shows affection to any woman but me. And he- He left. He forgot I was even here.

“Sorry about that.” May walks over showing no hostility. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

I try to stay positive. “Hello, May. Lovely to see you again. Good news about the horse, I hope?”

She nods at the magnificent beast. “Grace’s Secret has done a wonderful job. She’s a very sturdy animal.”

Her words cause me to stop stroking her mane. “What’s the horse’s name?”

“Grace’s Secret.”

He’s still thinking about her. I can’t just say nothing. May deserves sympathy, rich or not.

“I’m sorry about…”

“About Thomas breaking off?” she fills in.

Quite witty. No wonder Thomas took to her. “Yes.”

May looks at me with an expression I can’t quite place. “I can see he treats you well. But you’re smart enough to keep him tamed. Keep up with that. You best get back to your party. I’ll be fine here.”

She waits for me to leave but I see no reason to. “No. They have their own business. I can stay here for company, if you wish.”

Her eyes soften at my kind gesture. “That’s gracious of you. Thanks.”

The announcer’s voice overhead says the race is about to begin. Where is the best spot to watch?  I look out and see Thomas standing on the steps with- With Grace. She came here. Of course she did. Wearing a nice pink dress with a matching hat. Looking how any woman wants to be with the man all women want.

“You alright?” May asks when she sees my pale face. “Thomas must be waiting-”

“He’s perfectly fine,” I grit my teeth. “He has plenty to occupy himself with.”

She sees where I’m looking. “It’s the other woman, isn’t it? The one sailing away?”

“One would think.”

Thomas leaves Grace at the bottom of the stairs and I spot Jerimiah sending Lizzie up to Thomas. That son-of-a-! He deals with literally any other woman. Anyone but me.

“He mentioned you once.”

May’s words shake me from my angry thoughts. “For what reasons?”

“Said you made him change his mind about Americans. About educated women. Personally I believe he thinks you’re too innocent for his business. Why stay?”

I keep watching Thomas until he disappears into a bar. “My father once said to me ‘Verena, life is too short to never take chances. With a little luck and the love of God, set your mind to do anything.’ After everything I’ve done here I can’t think of a place that would offer anything so… adventurous.”

May chuckles. “That’s Thomas, alright.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, the race will begin in four minutes. Please be upstanding for the pledge.”

Oh, alright. I’ll respect the pledge of the people who dominated my own country. Why is May not watching?

“You don’t want to watch the race?”

May sits down on a haybale and avoids my gaze. “She’ll do fine.”

“And they’re off!”

There they go! What powerful beasts. So graceful and yet they can decapitate you with one kick.

“Come on, girl. You can do it,” May mutters.

Something else catches my eye. It’s Lizzie again. Leading a stranger away to the barn. Why is she going with…? I thought she gave up being- That man is armed. Oh no.

I keep my eyes on her and start walking out of the tent. “May, I have to go stop something.”

Walking. Jogging. Sprinting! Have to get through this crowd! Where’s Thomas? Arthur? Anyone?

“John!” Thank God! “Have a spare gun?”

He gives me a funny look. “You know guns aren’t allowed. Who says I’ve got one?”

“Please!” I ask urgently.

He takes off his hat and pulls out a small pistol. “Use it wisely.”

I snatch the weapon and weave back into the sea of people. Lord, help me find her! I know we don't always see eye-to-eye but she can be a good person! Don’t let me be too late-!

“Get the fuck off me!” Lizzie shrieks.

I turn the corner and find the uniformed man shoving her against the wall, the wood slicing into her skin.

I cock the pistol. “Step aside. Now!”

A hand from behind pushes me aside and Thomas steps up with his own gun. “Russel!”

The gun clicks but no bullet fires. The man groping Lizzie ducks down and barrels into Thomas, knocking my gun away in the process. I rush to Lizzie’s side and help her stand. She’s reaching for something- 

“It’s ok, Lizzie,” I whisper. “Give me the gun-!”

She shoves me over and tries to fire it herself. It misfires again.

“Tommy!” Lizzie screeches when the man tries to push his own gun against Thomas’ head.

Bang!

But it’s not Thomas who drops dead. It’s the man called Russel. His brains are painted everywhere.

“Where were you?! Where the fuck were you?!” Lizzie rages hysterically and points the defective gun at Thomas.

Death. I just saw someone get murdered. Life taken. I know it’s not my fault but why do I still feel a fraction of the blame? Could I have stopped it, or did he deserve to die? 

“Just go. Go!” 

Lizzie pushes away and storms back to the bleachers. 

“You too, Verena!”

Thomas grabs my hand but I don’t budge right away. How can I? There’s a fresh corpse right across from me.

“Verena.” He kneels in front of me and makes me look at him. “Darling, it’s alright now. You’re safe-”

“It’s not my safety I’m concerned about. It’s him.” I point to the corpse. “I could’ve stopped him, and now he’s dead.”

“I killed him. Not you.” He rips the gun from my limp hand. “What the fuck were you thinking, Verena?!”

“I thought I was helping! I’m sorry my feeble reaction is too soft for you but I’m not a bloody criminal!”

“You’ve kept above water this long! What happened?”

I gawk at his arrogant face. “Oh, like you’ve never made a mistake! You don’t see me rubbing your bad choices in your face.”

We both know what I’m referring to. 

“Get back to the others,” Thomas orders, still glaring straight at me.

Fine. Very well. Fine! I’ll leave you to get killed or whatever bloody plan you’ve got!

I pivot and march through the muddy stalls back to the roaring crowd. By now the coppers have caught on to the gun violence and are swarming everywhere.

I hurry past the group of Peaky Blinders and Arthur leans in to whisper: “Better duck, Steentra. ‘S about to get messy. Tommy’s about to meet with Sabini.”

Someone walks up behind and I see it’s May, now wearing a beautiful red dress. She seems distracted and points to someone in the crowd. “Who is that?”

John looks over and recognizes who she’s pointing at. “Grace. Tommy’s old flame.”

“I see. Have you known her, Verena?”

My eyes sharpen. “Briefly. She’s the one I saw with him earlier.”

“So we are all part of Tom’s basket of women, are we?” May comments.

I nod towards the table where Lizzie’s hunched over. “Lizzie’s in it too.”

More cops brush past and in the chaos I hear May whisper: “At least he hasn’t broken your heart yet.”

The mention of it makes my blood run cold. “Don’t speak too soon.”

May considers something and gets past me. “I’m going to go talk with her.”

“You’ll play nice?” I joke.

“No hostilities, just an introduction.”

“She may not be so gentle.”

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 36: Take Charge

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

“Thank God, you’re staying!”

If I hear those words any longer they will become my motto. The day after Thomas visited me I got calls from everyone asking if I was still in England. Before I know it things are going smoothly as if nothing’s changed. The only reminder of Grace’s absence is when I’ll spot Thomas alone in his office, staring outside the window. I’ll prepare a small tea tray and quietly slip it on his desk before he notices. A small gesture but he’s always quick to thank me when he sees me next.

Today’s bustle seems like any other except there’s a caravan of wagons approaching. I look out the front window to see the Shelby men hopping out and gathering near the barn. Is there something I should be concerned about?

I walk up to the men as one approaches a wild horse. Cautious and quiet. They appear to be in good spirits so that takes away some worry. Thomas isn’t out yet. Finn’s busy talking with Uncle Charlie. Maybe Arthur can tell me what’s going on.

“... Need to lay low once the baby comes.”

His conversation with John makes me gasp. “Linda’s pregnant?”

Arthur turns around with a big grin on his face. “Yes!”

I’m shocked, but in a good way. “Jesus. Between you and John we’ll have kids running everywhere. Congratulations!”

“Thank you. We’re expecting around September. ‘M gonna be a dad! Me, a fucking dad!”

I clap my hands together and praise the sky. “A thousand blessings on you both!”

We all share the same thought. A new baby is what we need now to help chase away the sadness that’s plagued us. And I know Arthur is going to be a wonderful father. 

Footsteps approach and Thomas joins the party. This is strange. He’s carrying a satchel. As if he’s going camping.

“Where are you lot going?” I ask him.

“To the woods, for some hunting.”

I stifle a laugh. “Hunting? You’re joking.”

“I’m not joking,” Thomas replies and I follow him inside the barn.

“I didn’t think you’d be willing to get your hands dirty with something like that.”

Thomas leads his black steed out of the stall. “Kill a deer, kill a man. Same thing.” He pauses for a minute. “Ever heard of the Mickey Free? ‘S a bar in Boston.”

This question is out of the blue. “No. Why?”

Thomas looks to see we’re alone and leans in. “Don’t tell the others yet, but our dad just died there.”

Arthur Shelby Senior. Dead. In whatever manner of way he died I can’t gather too much sympathy for this news. He, like many others must, assumed I was playing into the Shelby charm of lust. How am I supposed to feel sorry for that? Thank God Thomas cast him out and defended my integrity.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” I finally respond.

“No need, I know you didn’t like him,” Thomas waves it off. “This hunt is to remember him, and forget him. Now you, Verena, are going back to Watery Lane before Ada accuses me of keeping you captive.”

Now it’s my turn to wave off his concern. “Oh it’s no trouble. It’s been a tad isolating but the country is a nice change from the city.”

From looking at the side of his face I see that Thomas agrees; but there’s something else he’s thinking of when I say that. Maybe he thinks he’ll never be able to truly relax while he's away from Birmingham. He mounts the steed and joins the parade of horses trotting into the woods. I give them all a wave goodbye just as they disappear behind the trees. A small men’s holiday might be just what they need.

Same filthy streets, same stuffy air. The car sent to pick me up drops me off outside the Shelby household. The driver says nothing, only helping to carry my suitcase to the door. Without the Shelbys here it feels less exciting. More empty. Once inside an unnatural silence drapes the atmosphere, that is until I hear heels clicking down the hall.

“Verena?” Polly sticks her head around the corner. “Tommy finally let you out of that place.”

I start to tell her I was there on my own free will but something about her seems off. She looks nervous. And tired. As if she’s been thinking too much. I’ve been so busy keeping watch over Thomas’ mourning that I didn’t think about reaching out to others. 

“What can I help with, Polly?” It’s a loaded question.

The older woman looks away shaking her head and walks towards the door. Is there something I should know about?

“Polly, where are you going?”

“Confession. At the church.”

“Should I come-?”

“No,” she sharply cuts me off. “I need to do this alone. Go help in the office.”

I try to follow her. “Polly, please. You don’t look well-”

Polly holds up a hand to stop me just as she shuts the door. “Do as you’re told.”

If she- But I- Oh. Okay. I can help with some paperwork. But honestly the thought of being stuck at a desk all day doesn’t seem as fetching. 

“‘S not fair,” Esme whines for the fifth time.

I was right. This is awful. I’ve been here an hour and both Lizzy and Esme are in no mood for pleasant discussion. Now I see why John was so eager to go on the trip. Esme’s current pregnancy is making her grouchy and sensitive. The only thing keeping her settled are her frequent whiffs of cocaine. And to top it off,  Lizzy’s still cross from my interactions with Thomas.

“They’re off drinking and shooting rifles as we sit here,” Esme complains. “Listening to the mugs swearing, spitting on the bloody floor for us to fucking wipe up! Without men here they’d be like dogs pissing up the wall.”

Just then the door opens and Polly walks in. I can’t tell if her stress has depleted or not. The good news is that she doesn’t want any of Esme’s attitude either.

“Esme, just… Get on with it.”

Esme groans and sniffs up more cocaine. “I’m bloody five months gone!”

I follow Polly to the safe and try to ask gently. “Polly? Do you feel better?”

She ignores me and leans her head against the safe. “Forgot the combination.”

“24-8-22,” Lizzie calls.

Polly’s just as puzzled as I am. “How’d you know?”

“Tommy talks in his sleep,” Esme pokes at her.

“Shut up, Esme,” Lizzy mutters.

Wait. Does that mean-?

Polly groans again. “He’s changed it.”

Lizzie gets up and starts fiddling with the dial. “You’ve put it in wrong.”

“No I haven’t,” Polly argues.

I step out of their way and go back to the table. This is it? Listening to them squabble while all the men are away? I actually was happier at Arrow House.

“I have been sleeping with Tommy,” Lizzie mentions. “Every now and then, when the mood takes him. Happy?”

No. I most certainly am not. I was right. While Thomas comes to me for empathetic consultations, he still doesn’t initiate physical emotions. Is May right? Does he think I’m too fragile?

“None of it’s fucking fair.” We know, Esme!

Knock knock.

Wonderful. Now who’s adding to the meeting of misery?

Linda opens the door with a bright smile on her face. “It’s me! Arthur said you’d be short-staffed today.”

She is so out of her normal standards. Linda walks around and practically scoffs at the illegal business. Her comments of purity against the company go ignored by the others. That’s it, I’m out. I’m already dealing with Lizzie’s comment. I don’t need this either.

I take an Irish goodbye and excuse myself back to the house. It may be lonely in the kitchen but at least the chicken I cook doesn’t squawk like those women do. I don’t know when the Shelbys will be back but that doesn’t mean I can’t fix a nice dinner for myself. Maybe I’ll call Ada and see if she wants company-

“There you are!” Linda walks in. “You’re coming too.”

I go back to washing dishes, uninterested. “Where?”

She comes up and slings an arm around mine, leading me away. “To the Bull Ring.”

I gawk at her bluntness. “Why?”

“To strike.”

I’m still confused. “For…?”

“Female workers’ rights. Come on, you of all people should appreciate this! You Americans had to go through tons to get the right to vote.”

“There’s a bit more to it than that-”

“Let’s go!”

She drags me out into the street to join the line of women workers marching towards the strike.

Something tells me I should go. Not for the extreme feminist cause but to be sure that no one gets hurt. Polly’s wild look in her eyes tells me her stress has melted into ambition. 

“Revolution! Now!”

I attempt to quiet her. “Polly, please! Calm down-”

“No I will not fucking calm down! We’ve been through this shit for too long!”

“Hallelujah!” Esme yells.

I knew coming back wasn’t such a grand idea.

The following morning Polly leans back in a kitchen chair with a cloth over her eyes. Clearly in a hangover. For three hours yesterday they shouted and raged against the male patriarchy. It didn’t help when people started passing around spirits.

Thud.

The front door closes and I hurry over to see if my suspicions are correct. Sure enough, Thomas is back. Maybe the fresh air did him some good.

“Morning, Thomas. About Polly- I tried to keep her safe.”

He takes a puff on his cigarette. “The strike?”

“Yes. It reminded me of women’s marches back home, but ours were a tad more civilized if you can believe it.”

He walks straight past towards where Polly and Lizzie are sitting.

“I heard you were giving speeches off the back of a wagon, Pol.”

She doesn’t move. “I can’t remember a fucking thing.”

“Well, Moss tells me you were threatening to burn down the town hall.” Thomas looks back at me. “Verena, will you please give us a moment alone?”

I have to keep my smile from falling. What? Is he upset with me? Does he think I’ll start ranting about freedom like a typical American?

“Of course, sir.”

Don’t show them disappointment. It’ll only give Linda and Lizzie more teasing ammunition against me. I retreat back to the parlor and set to dusting shelves. If I could slip out I’d properly dispose of my anger by swatting a broom against the alley wall. What am I supposed to do if you never let me in, Thomas?

“What are you doing?” 

Must have been a quick ‘moment.’ I thought for sure he’d call for Lizzie to- No. Stop right there, Steenstra. Jealousy never gets someone anywhere.

“Cleaning,” I say, keeping my face directed away from Thomas. 

“You know we can hire people to do that, right?”

I hum softly and continue wiping off the dirt. “I am hired help.”

“No. You’re not a maid, Verena. You keep us sane.” Thomas slumps into the lounge chair and runs a hand through his hair. “Fucking Russians. You will not believe the shit I went through last night.”

Again with the Russians. I warned him.

“Did the duchess try to kill you?”

Thomas rolls his eyes and glares at the wall. “Walked around practically naked in the dead of night, pointing a gun everywhere and demanding that poor Mary watches us fuck.”

My hand freezes and I slowly turn to look at him. “Y-You didn’t-?”

“No!” He quickly answers. “She- Please, please recite something clever.”

Clever? Is he using me just for my wit now? “Um- Alright. Sometimes life is like carving an apple.” Thomas’ stressed face changes to one of surprisement but I keep going. “When you find an apple with a brown spot you cut it out, right? It’s the same situation with people. We cut out the worst parts of ourselves to get along with one another.”

He thinks for a minute. “So you’re saying I should cut myself out? Just how much, eh?”

“What? No! Why would-?”

“Not everyone sees the good in people like you do, Verena.” Thomas pulls out a cigarette and stands up. “Never stop, love. Thanks by the way for keeping a watch on Polly.”

I offer a smile. “No problem. I might stop by later to see Charlie.”

The mention of his son immediately makes Thomas relax. “Right, Charlie. It’ll be nice to get some time with him. Do you need me to drive you?”

“No, no. I’ll manage. I’ve got some letters to mail first. My moeder goes crazy if I stay out of contact for more than a week.”

Thomas nods and walks out towards the door. We both know family comes first. As for his predicament with Duchess Tatiana Petrovna… It’s not my business but isn’t it a bit early to be courting after Grace’s funeral? Is this situation even a courtship at all? It doesn’t sound like Thomas initiated it. Curious, considering it’s usually the woman falling into his bed rather than her roping him in. Perhaps it’s a taste of his own medicine.

From the outside Arrow House looks as empty as before. What’s different this time is the friendly sight of Charlie and his nanny waving at me through the top window. Thomas’ car is here but there’s no sign of him at the door. Maybe he’s with the horses. I let myself in and the housekeeper immediately appears.

“Hello again, Mary. I’m here to check on Charlie.”

“Of course, Ms. Steenstra.” She leaves me to it and mutters something along the lines of “…More behaved than that other woman…”

Other woman? Who else has Thomas brought over? Does she mean the duchess? 

Instead of marching up the stairs I take a detour into the dining room, taking a seat at the head chair. The glorious portrait still hangs but instead of portraying confident power the painting resembles a man who has nothing but his horses. A lonely man.

Click click click.

“Bold of you to sit on a king’s throne.”

There she is. Duchess Tatiana Petrovna herself. That’s who poor Mary was talking about. There’s no question about her obvious beauty and she knows it. She looks down at my two hair braids with amusement. What is she here for? And is she talking about my seating choice? I meant no disrespect when I chose it.

I look down at where I’m sitting and back to her. “…It’s a chair.”

Thomas walks up behind her and sees where she’s looking. “That’s my chair. ‘S alright, you can-”

“It’s his chair,” the duchess states. “Move.”

Is she serious? Stay calm, Steenstra. You’ll only provoke her.

“It’s still just a chair, miss. He says I can sit in it.”

Her narrowed gaze doesn’t falter. “Move.”

I keep the same cool tone. “No.”

“Or else you will be moved.”

A hint of American attitude makes my face twitch into a look that dares her to continue. “Try me, duchess.”

Her jaw drops and Thomas steps forward trying to calm the storm. “Ladies, please. Mary, could we please get some tea?”

The duchess ignores his attempt and keeps looking at me. “He is your boss. You need to respect-”

“I respect Mr. Shelby just fine,” I respond evenly. “It’s you who’s out of place. You are a guest at Arrow House. I suggest you treat your host with respect. Good day.”

She resumes her stunned silence as I stand up and strut past them. Behind me I can already hear the complaining.

“…Let her speak to a Duchess like that?” she asks.

“You have your ways, the Americans have theirs. I don’t interfere.”

Just because she’s a rich duchess sleeping with him doesn’t mean she can order us around with an iron fist. I climb the stairs to Charlie’s room trying to clear the grudge from my thoughts. The bedroom door opens and the nanny steps out.

“He’s asking for his father. Shall I go fetch him?”

“Oh, no. I just saw Mr. Shelby downstairs. I’ll go get him.”

I pivot back to the stairs despite the internal urge to be as far away from the Russian royal as possible. Stay strong. It’s for Charlie. And if she wants to get on my nerves then she’ll face the bull head-on.

I see the couple walking down the hall. “Thomas! Charlie wants you.”

The gangster leader excuses himself and jogs past me, giving me a grateful nod. I take a deep breath and finish descending the stairs to where the duchess is. Time to set things straight.

“What are you doing?” 

“What do you think you’re doing?” I ask in a low but demanding voice. “The poor man just lost his wife and you’re playing him like a bitch in heat!”

She doesn’t flinch. “Grief can take many forms.”

Not Thomas. This isn’t how he grieves. He likes to be alone. 

I signal for the housekeeper. “Mary, may I please have some whiskey?”

She notices my situation and nods. “Of course, Ms. Steenstra.”

But the duchess isn’t satisfied with my request. “Why ask? Demand it! She will have-”

My face flinches to look at her with murderous eyes. “Get out. Go.”

Her jaw drops. “This is not your house-”

“Then get the fuck away from me before I do something regretful.”

Now she smirks at my temper. “Are Americans this rude?”

My fists clench. “Americans do not look down to people who are not wealthy or of royal blood.”

“There’s fire in your eyes but you tame it. Could you kill me? Would you kill for love?”

“Murder for selfish intentions is not something I will stain myself with,” I state harshly and notice Thomas returning from Charlie’s room. “Excuse me, Thomas.”

Before he can respond I rush back to the door. I don’t wait to hear any more. How can he stand this woman? Lizzie is one thing but at least she gives me a fraction of respect. Petrovna only sees me as nothing but a tourist servant. As much as I was looking forward to seeing Charlie I will not be stable as long as that woman is around. 

Foreign relations consultant, indeed. I will stand my ground. No more waiting. It’s time to take charge for a change and bring my own tricks of the trade to the table.

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 32: Data Analysis

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

The next morning I wake up feeling refreshed. I was partially right about the long trip tiring me out. Now that yesterday’s stress is out of the way I can focus on other matters. May’s maids are surprised to see I made the bed myself and keep asking if I want breakfast. I politely decline so they won’t go through any trouble but turns out May already has a meal planned for me.

“What will you do now? Are you sailing back home after one day?” She asks from across the long table.

I chew the delicious French toast. “Originally I was going to visit family in Ireland but now the Shelbys want me to work for them. Officially. No debt, no strings attached. I’d love to. It’s just…”

“That means seeing Thomas more often,” May finishes. “I understand. Sometimes I see him at horse events and it’s incredibly awkward.”

“I think I’ll allow myself to work a full year and then decide what I want with my life. Thomas can’t blame me for being distant because he has his own family to care for now.” I finish my breakfast and rise from the table. “Thank you for having me, May. It would’ve been hard to go back to Birmingham last night, after… all that.”

“Give a ring if you need to talk,” the Charleton widow assures. “Do you need a cab?”

A sneaky smile crosses my face. “I have ideas.”

One bonus from growing up in the city is that you learn to walk. Everywhere. Another bonus is knowing how to hail a cab. Or in this case a wagon. I walk along the gravel road and within ten minutes a farmer comes by driving a horse wagon. I offer a few pounds and he agrees to take me to the edge of Birmingham. At first he’s put off by my more than casual clothes but after I explain myself he starts laughing.

“My my, a real American hitchhiker! Now I’ve seen everything.”

Most of the ride is done in silence, allowing me to observe the breathtaking English countryside. So different from the dirty, noisy streets I left a week ago. I’ll miss my home but this would almost make it worthwhile to stay. If only he wasn’t around.

“Here we are, miss.”

I thank the farmer and pull my trunk off the wagon. Looking across the field I see the sign for Birmingham straight ahead. Back through the muddy streets, the shadowy alleys, the ash-filled sky. The dreadful atmosphere that seems slightly sadder than I remember. Or maybe that’s just me.

By the time I get to Watery Lane it’s past midday. When I reach the Shelby house it’s obvious Finn’s been waiting for me. The second I reach the kitchen he comes straight from his room like a magnet drawn to steel.

“Where were you? I almost phoned Tommy!”

“Relax, relax. I’m no big missing persons case. I just… Needed some time to myself. And you will do good not to mention my absence to Thomas. If I need to bribe you then I will offer a lesson for today.”

Finn’s face melts from worried to suspicious to overjoyed. He drops his book and takes a seat at the kitchen table.

“I’m all ears.”

“Right, right. Just let me put my trunk in my room- Oh no. Finn! Did you know about this?”

The closet is stocked to the brim with new clothes. Clothes for me, because Polly would never wear anything this modern. It reminds me of the clothes from American fashion magazines. Whoever made these did their homework.

“It was Ada’s idea!” Finn shouts down the hall.

A smidgen of guilt enters my thoughts. I really should have talked with her more last night. Hopefully she’ll understand why. I set the trunk down and rejoin Finn in the kitchen. As I search for potential dinner ingredients I also concoct an intriguing topic to discuss.

“Today will be about the use of data. Whether it be for science, arithmancy, or common sense, we use data every day. The proper order of data use is wisdom, knowledge, information, and the data itself.” Score! There’s still some fresh meat in the icebox. “Data is the raw facts and figures, and provides the building blocks to create information. Information, Finn, is data that has been manipulated into something meaningful, which then turns into knowledge.”

He takes this in carefully, proving my point. “So our process of thinking is like calculating math. Only instead of crunching numbers we’re crunching choices.”

“Yes.” Such as the choice I made to stay here. “We use data analytics, which is the science of examining raw data with the purpose of drawing conclusions about that information. Pairing with this, data analysis transforms, summarizes, or models data to allow us to make meaningful conclusions. Now data mining, on the other hand, extracts and analyzes large volumes of data to identify hidden relationships or patterns and predict behaviors from them.”

Finn picks up on something. “So… We could predict people?”

I look up from the cutting board. “Correct. That would be entering the field of behavioral psychology or  sociology. But we can talk about that another time. I’ll let you stew on this. Speaking of stew, that is what I’m making. But I need to grab some oregano leaves. I’ll just be a minute.”

I step out the back door and into the familiar dreary streets. No Peaky Blinders standing guard, no Inspector Campbell sulking about. I can finally walk to the market without looking over my shoulder… Still packing heat, of course. I’m not thick. Now about those herbs-

“There she is!” 

Approaching laughter alerts me to the Shelby brothers walking towards me. 

“John? Arthur? Where have you been?”

“Just had a meeting with Changretta,” Arthur scoffs. “Them Italians are giving us trouble again.”

I roll my eyes and pick out some oregano from the market display. “What is it with you boys and fighting with the Italians?”

“Enough about them. What’s this for?” John snatches the herb. “Making something, eh?”

I hold up my hands. “Okay, you caught me. I’m guilty of making tonight’s supper, if you’ll join us.”

Both brothers look pleased about the invite, especially John.

“You have no idea how good a real meal sounds! Esme’s been too busy with the kids. That and she’s expecting again.”

My eyes widen. “Esme’s pregnant? Congratulations!”

John grunts. “She’s grouchy when she’s pregnant. The kids have been a handful too.”

I take back the oregano and give him a reprimanding look. “Either hire more help or keep it in your pants.”

“Oi! Verena!”

I look to face the voice. Thomas. He’s here. Walking down the street towards me. The way he walks, like a man who cannot be touched. A mountain. I really don’t need this right now!

Despite my internal screaming for him to walk away he gets closer. “Remind me never to trust anyone religious,” he grunts. “Earlier today a priest ordered me around like a fucking dog. I thought you said God works in mysterious ways?” He scoffs and lights a cigarette. “Maybe He can get these Irish folk off me back. Arthur, John. How was Changretta?”

“A fucking moron,” Arthur says. “I don’t think he appreciated our hospitality, did he John?”

John shakes his head. Thomas waves this aside and seems to be thinking about something else.

“Verena. Come with me.”

Before I can utter a word he starts walking back the way he came. Um, what about dinner? I have other things to do than just follow you around, Thomas!

I quickly wave goodbye to his brothers and pant to keep up. “Why?”

“Because I’m going to see Ada and if you’re with me maybe she won’t bite my head off.”

We keep walking and I notice we’re approaching a grand public library. Has the great Thomas Shelby given in to using books? My God, times are crazy. The second we enter everyone scatters to stay out of his path, some with confused stares and others looking downright fearful just to see him here. I follow Thomas upstairs and spot Ada at a bookshelf down the aisle.

“Ada!” Thomas calls.

Is he really this unfamiliar with a library? Keep your voice down!

“Tommy Shelby in a library,” his sister vituperates and looks down from the ladder.

“I need to borrow a book about the Russian Revolution. And, I brought a friend.”

Thomas steps away to reveal me behind him. Ada gasps in surprise and hurries down to give me a hug.

“Verena! We hardly got to chat last night!”

Her friendliness brings a smile to my face. “Hello, Ada. So good to see you!”

“Shh!” Someone hisses from another aisle. Oops.

“Have you got a new wharf at Maida Vale now?” Thomas asks.

Ada scoffs and releases me to climb onto the ladder again. “I’ve got a new wharf everywhere now. Sometimes I see our trucks driving past.”

Thomas plays dumb. “Our trucks?”

“Shelby trucks.” Ada pulls out a book and looks at it skeptically. “Why the interest?”

Good question. How does Russian history play into our business?

Thomas takes a seat at the wooden desk. “Eh, I just want to broaden my mind.”

Ada snickers. “Has Verena been influencing you?”

Thomas’ gaze flickers to where I’m standing and his mouth twitches in the ghost of a smirk. “Very funny. No, this was my idea.”

Ada hops down and plops the book on the desk. “Well, this is a list of the bastards who ran away- Sorry, Verena. I know you’re not one for foul language. And this is written from the point of view of the peoples’ struggle.”

Thomas nods blandly. “Uh-huh.”

I put my hands on my hips. “I thought you weren’t keen on using public resources? You said the library was too common.”

Thomas keeps reading the book. “Changed my mind.”

“There was a Russian at your wedding,” Ada comments. “Mind telling me how he got invited?”

He? So there was more than one Russian at that party. Jesus, Thomas. What kind of people are you dealing with now?

“Sometimes Russian aristocrats get invited to social occasions to add a bit of class.”

“Why are you working with the Russians?” I blurt.

He looks up slowly with a lazy expression. “Why the distrust?”

“Do you trust them?” I bite back.

“Not a chance. But I have orders from Churchill himself. That doesn’t explain your hostility.”

You might be comfortable conversing with your enemies, Thomas, but I for one do not like sleeping with one eye open! Class, indeed! The only Russians my family have dealt with no nothing of the sort!

I take a breath. “A Russian killed my Aunt Eleanor. My Uncle Colon’s late wife. We do not forgive and forget something like that, Thomas.”

“Why was he there?” Ada asks again.

Thomas goes back to reading. “Why do you want to know?”

Ada looks down and keeps her voice casual. “Maybe I liked him, maybe I want to see him again. Would that be possible?”

“No, that will not be possible,” Thomas answers bluntly. “Can I rip this page out?”

Ada and I gape at him. “No! You cannot rip a page out. Property of the people.”

“You should never harm books!” I scold.

Ada’s not finished. “When Arthur took the Russian away he had his killing pistol in his jacket and then Johnny lit a fire in the woods.”

Thomas puts the book back and starts walking away. “You want all the details because you’re bored, Ada.”

“Then why is Verena here too?” Ada taunts as I start trailing after him.

“Thought you’d like to see her,” Thomas calls over his shoulder. “You used to chase rats with a revolver, Ada. Might have a job for you too.”

“Tot ziens, Ada. Thanks for the clothes! Goodbye!” I whisper quickly and hurry down the stairs.

“What was that?” Thomas asks, slightly intrigued.

“A bit of Dutch I’m trying to learn.” When we get outside I raise my voice to a disapproving one. “You made Arthur kill a man. Even though you knew he’s trying to go down a better path.”

“Our family doesn’t have another path. And did I hear right that you’re making something for tonight?”

I want to kick the dirt in spite of his stubbornness! “Yes. Your information is correct. You’re welcome to join if you like.”

“Afraid not. Today is a busy day. I’m going straight home afterwards.”

Oh. I should have known. Of course he wants to have dinner with his proper family. His wife and son. Let it go, Verena. Not everyone has to be around for dinner. You knew things weren’t going to be the same.

“Say hi to everyone for me,” I try to say positively when we reach the Shelby house. “Off to see Changretta, I assume?”

Thomas’ brow furrows. “How did you know?”

“Lucky guess. That and your face hasn’t relaxed all day. I figured you have a business meeting.”

Before I close the door he gives a subtle upward nod of his head. “Perceptive, as always.”

That’s rich coming from the man who’s supposed to see through people’s deception but can’t see that I love him. I stomp through the house and through the heavy doors into the office. Apparently all serenity from earlier has been replaced with Polly and John having a kerfuffle.

“…We’ll be handing out Bibles in the fucking bullring with her cousins!” John shouts.

“John, you don’t have to do anything. Lizzie will do it for you,” Polly responds evenly.

“John!” I bark at him. “Did you just mock the good book?”

He ignores me and goes for the front door. “Not now, Steenstra.”

“Yes, now,” I demand and stand in front of him with my arms crossed. “Do not ever talk that way around me again, John. Or any woman for that matter.”

John steps around me anyhow. “Get out of my fucking way.”

The door slams and Polly sits in silence. Wonderful! Now their anger is spreading to me too. Enough of this. I can do something useful and clear out the rubbish bins. I brush past Polly and clear away the trash from all the desks. Some out of Thomas’ office. John’s, Arthur’s. Now all that’s left is Michael’s new office.

“Knock knock. ‘S just me, I’m here for- Oh!”

A pair of wide eyes peeks out at me from behind the desk. Michael himself is slumped in the chair with a face saying there’s nothing wrong. Slowly the eyes rise to reveal the face of a young girl, only a few years younger than me. 

“A new guest, Michael?” I ask and greet the girl with a smile.

“Verena, meet Charlotte Murray.” He pauses for a second and adds: “My new friend.”

Jesus, these Shelbys are all alike. I really hoped Michael would be different. Am I going to have to work here as the only single employee?

I look between the two with a devilish smirk. “Ah, yes. We all need friends. I just need the trash and I will leave you to… get more acquainted.” 

I take the rubbish bin and slip out the door, catching a look of thanks from Michael. Yes, go ahead. I give up trying to tell people what is right. Hell, I myself have lost so much from that. All that time trying to reach the good in Thomas was a waste. It’s time to think for my own security.

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 28: Unnoticed

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

Enough with socializing. Enough with fighting. Thomas can have his kill but I’m through with watching grown men fight like children. Can we ever go to a single event without someone being shot? As I pass by the groups of men the trait that relates them all is their unbelievable arrogance- Wait. 

I stop walking and stare straight ahead. Those men in that truck- Those are Irish men. A volunteer force. What could they possibly-?

I gasp and push through the rest of the crowd. “Thomas-!”

A large man in a flat cap blocks my way. “Sorry, lass. Private business.”

An Irish accent if I ever heard one. “I know who you are. You should know who my uncle is! Ever heard of Edmond Colon?”

His eyes slightly widen at the mention of the name. “Aye.”

I put my hands on my hips. “Then you would know that if he hears that you’ve killed his niece’s boss you could run into some trouble in the future.”

The man begins to stutter an answer but another giant man turns me away. “Walk along, Ms. Steenstra.” He leans in and his voice changes to an English one. “No harm will come to Mr. Shelby, orders of Churchill. He will not die today.”

I protest further but it’s too late. I’m pushed back into the stadium and lose sight of the truck. What does he mean? Where’s Thomas now?!

“Fucking kings of the world!” I hear John’s voice over the noise and see him beckoning me over. “C’mon, Verena! There’s a celebration in order!”

“Lizzie’s alright?” I ask immediately.

John puts an arm around me and walks me to a table. “I talked with her. She’s better.”

So goes another wild game. It’s what I get for tagging along with the Peaky Blinders.

Back at the office Arthur shouts for everyone to quiet down. Thomas is still missing. It’s rather odd that his absence is labeled off as normal now. I can’t stop the worry pooling in my stomach no matter how many drinks John offers. One drink is all I take.

“Right! Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to make a toast!” Arthur announces. “To the Small Heath Rifles! To the Lee boys! And to the Peaky fucking Blinders!” Glasses are raised and cheers are shouted. “Who’s gonna stop us, eh?”

This is all fine and dandy but I have no part here. My ambition is for a partnership contract, not expansion. If only Thomas were here then a contract could be accomplished as he promised. 

“You’re turning in?” Finn asks before I reach the door.

“Yes.”

He doesn’t argue. Only nods his head. “I understand. I’m not a fan of our big parties either. I’ll meet you back in the kitchen.”

“Alright. I’m going to Thomas’ office to file a few papers.”

Glad to know I’m not the only skeptic of wild parties. Even back home they never appealed to me. All those drunken souls flailing about-

“Oh!”

When I open the door the sight of red is too alarming to go unnoticed. In the shadows I make out Thomas’ blood-splattered face. 

“You’re back,” I gasp.

“You look relieved,” he replies from his desk chair.

I walk to him slowly, almost like approaching a ghost. “I recognized those men. Before they drove off. I tried to…” I trail off, still staring at his unreadable face. “The red right hand never kids around, Thomas. It’s a miracle the Crown stepped in. I’m guessing that’s not your blood?”

“No.” Thomas shifts in the chair and looks up again, this time with devoted eyes. “Are you still up for another therapy session?”

Faith. Sympathy. Loyalty. Shards of emotions running through me all at once. Am I still staring? I need to answer. Thomas needs this. And he’s asking me. Not May, not Lizzie. Me. I need to help.

I take a seat on his desk and open my arms, surrendering to his words. “You know I’m always here to listen.” 

Those eyes. Eyes that seem to melt when he hears me. Thomas takes a quick breath and looks to be thinking over what to say.

“There’s change coming, love. I’ve got ideas I’m gonna pitch to Michael, since he’s staying. For you too. I’ve drawn up a contract for your family. Shelby Company Limited would love to partner with you.” He reaches over to take my hand. “Your loyalty to my family deserves proper benefits, Verena.”

My breath hitches. “Thomas, this isn’t all about money. The contract is to help us, yes. But it’s also proof.”

Thomas frowns. “Proof?”

“Yes. To show that I’m making a proper living for myself. Why do you think I’ve gone this long without my family disapproving? I’m here to help with the bigger picture instead of having my mother train me to be a meaningless housekeeper.” I squeeze his hand. “And I am here to help you face whatever demons haunt you.”

Thomas just stares at me. Then leans in closer. His smell of cologne and cigarettes makes my heart race even faster. 

“You are one of the most peculiar people I know. Even when you have your own ambitions they hold a deeper meaning for someone else.”

“I know I play a small part-”

“No,” he cuts me off. “Not small. Not to us. You help us remember to stay a family, Verena. And I promise these changes will make good profits for your own family. And…” He pauses and licks his lips, looking down to the floor. “We’ll need help with business overseas while I’m taking time off. I’m getting married.”

Crack.

Another piece of my heart is ripped away. You knew this was coming, Steenstra. He knocked her up, I’m sure of it. Now he will have his blushing bride and forget all about us. About me. Instead of looking to me to listen he will rely on her. Did I not just say I’m dedicated to helping him?

“That’s wonderful,” I whisper with a forced smile. “Matrimony in the eyes of God is always something to marvel at. Congratulations, Thomas.”

I pull my shaking hand away before he can ask what’s wrong and excuse myself for the evening. I shouldn’t be upset. He’ll be happy to have her as his wife. She should be happy as his bride. And little old me will keep to the side, unsatisfied. Is this what they call irony? I reach out and give my heart to him, only for him to discard it unnoticed. 

Let it go. Grace is… nice. Even after she lied. And hinted at threatening to expose my family ties. Could she still have hidden means for Thomas?

You’re concerned for him? Well, yes. He’s my boss. But you think of him as more than that? More than platonic? No! I wouldn’t… Oh God. Am I in love with Thomas Shelby? Ding ding! We have a winner!

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 24: Pieces Glued Together

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

“House?! No, I live in a house. This is a mansion!”

Through the car window I gape at the magnificent brick house outside. Thomas insisted that I join him and Polly to see her own new home. Lord knows she needs a place away from all these men. When Thomas opens the door to let me out I decline respectfully.

“I’ll wait here. This is a family matter.”

He nods and shows Polly to the door. Just when I think there’s not a single part of him that isn’t obsessed with business he surprises me once more. He bought her a house. Under all that arrogance and self pity there's a man who wants to do best for his family.

“I’m leaving her to get settled in,” Thomas says when he gets back in the car.

“That was very generous of you, Thomas. Very thoughtful.”

He keeps his face turned to the road but in a split second his eyes flicker over to me. Not everyone thinks you’re a monster, Thomas.

“Just sent word to Churchill about an official export license.”

Back to business, I see. “If it’s export you’re looking for I could ask my father.”

“Thank you,” he replies sincerely and we turn towards Watery Lane. “I’ll drop you off, then.”

“Off again somewhere?”

Internally I scold myself. I know I shouldn’t ask. It’s not my place. Thomas shouldn’t-

“I'm going to speak to Henry Gray’s guardians.”

Oh. So he does have something else in store for Polly. “Then would you be so kind as to drop me off at the boxing station? I thought I’d go see how Finn’s doing.”

“He’ll be glad to show you his progress. Arthur’s been teaching him.”

Thomas pulls the car over and I step out, giving a goodbye salute. More Peaky Blinders stand guard outside but after they see Thomas’ car they let me pass. Inside the dusty gymnasium a row of boxing rings contains multiple sweating men. Ruff men. 

“You call yourself a Shelby? Fucking hit him, Finn! That’s right. Hit him!”

The yelling draws my attention to the center ring. Thomas was right. Finn’s made progress as a fighter. Instead of the innocent boy who escaped a grenade attack I see a man who’d punch life in the face. And then apologize afterward.

Arthur’s fighting in the other ring. He’s fast and tough, but not as focused. Wait- The man’s down. Why is he still punching him?!

“Get him out of there!” Someone yells.

“Arthur! Stop!” I grip the rope and try to slip under.

One man tries to stop me. “This is no place for a lady-”

“Step aside!” I bark and kneel down to the man’s still body. He’s not even a man. Only a boy. 

“Is he dead?”

His pulse is checked and it’s confirmed. Arthur just killed a boy in a meaningless fight. Finn sees me watching and walks over with concern.

“Arthur… What happened?” 

The oldest Shelby stares at the floor, shaking his head. “Should’ve kept taking the medicine… Me head’s been going in and out, back and forth. Sometimes I don’t even know if I’m still… me. Thomas said to ignore it- get over it. Shut it away-”

“He what?” I ask sharply.

Finn notices my sparked anger and slowly turns me away. “Verena, now’s not the time.”

Part of me agrees but my American temper doesn’t. The moment I see Thomas again I’m going to be very clear about it!

“You may think you Blinders have to “be all man” and bury your feelings,” I reprimand Thomas as he stares blankly from across the room. “As the daughter of an American brewer, I even know that a thick skin is useful. But this? Bullying your own brother for his shell-shock? You, who used to punch the wall in your sleep?”

Thomas, still showing no emotion to my outburst, pulls out a cigarette. “Michael is alive. But Anna…”

“I know. I heard the gunshot. What about Arthur?” 

I really want to be happy knowing Polly will be able to reconcile with her son but can we focus on helping Arthur too? Apparently it’s not on Thomas’ mind because he ignores my question and walks towards the door. I wander behind him and look over at Arthur hunched over in front of the fireplace. John’s trying to reach him.

“Arthur? Why aren’t you ready?”

“Go away,” he grumbles.

John notices me. “You too, Verena. Garrison’s reopening and we want you to be there. ‘S time you had a drink.”

A cause for celebration is what Arthur needs.

“My father runs a brewery. Having a drink isn’t the issue, it’s the idea behind it. I only drink for occasions. And this is definitely worth it. Right, Arthur?”

Arthur grunts again. John pats his shoulder and leans in to whisper: to me “Go wait by the car, Verena. I’ve got an idea for him.”

There’s a party already in full swing! The sight of the refurbished Garrison full of partygoers is actually exciting! It’s my first party in Birmingham. Polly and the rest of the Shelbys jump right into the hootenanny but I take a longer time to test out the waters. The place looks gorgeous,  much better than last time. Nice music too. Arthur seems to have changed his tune. 

Um, now what? I’m not much of a drinker and I for one am not going to embarrass myself by kicking off an American Charleston dance. At least I’m not the only one staying off to the side.

Thomas is not one I’d label as a party person. He looks distant… And sad. 

“Admiring your empire?” I joke lightly and take a seat next to him.

“Too much thinking. No need to worry-”

“Ada! I didn’t know you were coming!” We hear Polly gush when she steps through the door.

More cheering and laughter fills the bar. All these happy people, couples dancing, drinks flowing. Bite the bullet, Steenstra. You’ll never amount to that barmaid.

I take a deep breath. “It reminds you of her, doesn't it?”

“Stop,” he says and takes another drink, waving me off. “Please. Just let me sulk.”

It’s a heavy feeling to know he’s blocking me out. I would gladly give him closure but he’s too scared for that. “You can sulk and screw your troubles away with random women all you want, Thomas. I’ll be here when you face them head-on.”

It’s time to go. I appreciate their gesture of inviting me but it’s not quite like our parties back home. Even in Small Heath there’s a hint of feeling out of place. I should offer Thomas a walk home but he’s too lost in thought. This is how things are right now, Steenstra. Let him mourn his relationship and then maybe, just maybe, he can find it in himself to love again.

“Took the boys to meet Michael,” Thomas grunts the next day. All melancholiness from last night has vanished.

“You’re not going to pressure him to join the Peaky Blinders, right?” I ask slowly.

“No, no. I talked with him,” he assures and puts on his coat. “He thinks for himself and he wants to stay. Now I’m off to Camden Town to break in the new recruits.”

My head perks up from the potatoes I’m skinning. “Can I go? I’ve never been-”

“That is not the best place for you, love,” Thomas interrupts and gives me a playful smirk. “The men there aren’t as proper as I am.”

My mouth pouts in disappointment and when he walks out I see he’s not the only one running errands.

“Greetings, John. Where are you off to?”

He swipes an apple and grabs his hat. “To the Garrison, to see Arthur.”

“Since Thomas is gone I’ll join you. It’s his first day of business, after all.”

We start walking over. Now it’s time to chat with him.

“How are the kids?”

“The little rascals are never boring.”

“How’s Esme?”

John lets out a laugh. “We’re like rabbits. Can’t keep our hands off each other.”

“Oh.”

What am I supposed to say? I’ve never properly courted and now I’m surrounded by men who can’t go two days without humping a pillow. 

We get to the Garrison just as a dreary-looking woman walks out. Inside Arthur’s slouched in a chair staring at where the woman just left.

“Who broke the fucking mirror?” John points out. “Seven years bad luck, that is.”

Something white catches my eye and I go to wipe off some powder. “Huh. Someone spilled some aspirin on the table-”

“Don’t touch that!” Arthur rages and pushes me away.

I flinch away. “Arthur, what’s wrong? It’s just aspirin-”

“It’s not aspirin. It’s my new medicine.”

It’s not…? Cocaine?! “That doesn’t seem like a trustworthy drug-”

“It works!” Arthur argues. “That’s all I care about.”

There’s no way I’m sticking around to talk if this is how he’s acting now. If I suggest he goes to the chapel to repent then he might bite my head off. Back to the office. Again. Yay? I’m not going to pretend that I was looking forward to something a bit more exciting. Does Thomas really think I’m that helpless?

No, no no. This is not my expertise. Horses? Races? This is one meeting I am glad to step away from.

“Polly!” I gasp in surprise when I see the Romanian women walk into the office. Along with someone new. “I thought you were-?”

“On holiday, yes. But these bastards called me here for Lord knows what. Michael, wait here ‘til I’m done.”

She strides out and shuts the door, leaving me alone with who I think is her son. He’s got her eyes, no doubt. What’s different is his wardrobe choice of a corduroy vest and bow tie. Much more schoolboy-like than how the Blinders dress.

“So you’re Michael? I’m Verena. Nice to meet you.” I hold out a hand and we shake.

He takes interest in my introduction. “You’re American. I didn’t think..?”

“Oh, no. I’m not related to the Shelbys. I’m just a good friend.”

He nods respectfully and goes over to peek through the keyhole. It reminds me of something Finn might do. A little kid wanting to see what the adults are up to. But who am I kidding? I’m only a few years older.

“Do you ever get involved?” he asks.

“Only when asked. I take confidentiality very seriously- wait. What are you doing?”

Michael opens the door a crack. “Just getting a better look.”

I can’t help it, I’m just as curious. “What’s going on?”

“Something about an expensive horse… and a race. Someone named Sabini…” He opens the door wider.

“Micheal, you can’t just walk in-”

“Too late.”

The Gray son walks fully into the room and it takes a second for the gathered group to notice. Polly looks like she’s about to spit venom. Talk about protective mother syndrome.

“I’ve been listening. I want to go with them.”

Polly throws her hands up. “You see?”

“I love horses,” Michael tries to persuade them. “I could help.”

“Over my dead body!”

“It’ll be alright, mum. I’ve been to loads of horse auctions before.”

“Let him go, Polly,” Arthur vouches. “We go there, buy a horse, come back.”

Polly shoots him a murderous stare. “No. Fucking no.”

Michael tries to argue again but Polly holds up a hand to stop him, then points to me. I’m not arguing with her. Aside from Thomas she’s the scariest one. I take Michael’s arm and take him back to Thomas’ office.

“Why does she treat me like I’m 4? I’m not a child!” Michael complains.

“Remember she just got you back, Michael. Polly doesn’t want you to get hurt-”

“I won’t, I swear!”

I bite my lip. How do I tell him this? “You can’t predict that. This Peaky Blinders' business has its way of conjuring up the brutalist murders you can imagine on the flip of a coin. Personally if it weren’t for my devotion to the Shelbys, I wouldn’t still be involved.”

I’m not even in too deep. No blood on my hands and my virginity is still intact. This job may be taxing in other areas but at least Thomas has protected me enough to leave me my dignity. 

John walks in and sees Michael in his sour mood. “I talked to her. She’ll come ‘round. You alright, Verena?”

“I’m torn on the matter. Michael’s never been exposed to something like this.”

“Then it’s ‘bout time he learned.” John grins and claps Michael on the back.

And now I'll have to listen to Polly’s rants. All of this, between Thomas mourning his love life, Arthur raging on cocaine, and Michael dropping in, is all one big puzzle we’re trying to glue together. None of my business but I feel responsible nonetheless. Maybe I’ll hide at Ada’s.

I slip out undetected and make my getaway, but not before catching the attention of a few Blinders outside. 

“Oi! We’ve been given orders to-”

“I don’t care what Mr. Shelby told you. I do not need to be escorted. My pistol does that just fine-”

“Hello again, Ms. Steenstra.”

From the way chills race down my spine and the Peaky Blinders draw their guns, there’s no denying who’s behind me.

“Campbell.” I turn around slowly. “Still alive and kicking. Well, not kicking too well given your leg. I should have known you’d be sneaking around here. What’s your scheme now, hm?”

“What happens between me and Mr. Shelby is none of your concern-”

The wind picks up and a scrap of paper flies from his pocket, landing at my feet. Before he swipes it up I make out a single name.

“Ah. Working with the Fenians.”

Campbell’s eyes narrow. “You’ve heard of 'em?”

“My family hears about many things,” I reply with a straight face.

“Be wary of who you trust, Steenstra.”

“Likewise. Now either leave me alone or I shall find other… permanent methods of privacy. And no, I do not mean murder. I’m not as mad as Thomas. I’m talking about personal humiliation. My family has connections that can dig up so much dirt to bury you six feet under.” I tap my head considerably. “Rumors spiral, Inspector Campbell. Rumors spiral.”

I walk past him and march on to Ada’s place. The two Blinders still trail me with their guns out in plain sight. Whether it be Campbell or Sabini, no one’s going to lay a finger on me.

@meadows5

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 29: I Hope You're Happy

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/739551758747090944/american-woman-thomas-shelby-x-american-oc?source=share

Beep! Beep!

“Get a move on!”

“Watch it, toots!”

The streets of Brooklyn are one of the aspects of home that aren’t the best. But in a strange way the shouting brings a form of comfort to me. All these people, all different backgrounds, scrambling around to make a living. Bunches of people crammed into a giant city.

And the boat docks bring in even more people.

“Grace! Thomas! Hello!” I shout over the noise and wave them over away from the crowd. “Welcome to Brooklyn, where everyone sounds angry but they’re actually not… Most of the time.”

The sight of their joined hands makes my smile falter by a hair. Lovely engagement ring. Relax, Steenstra. You should be honored they chose your country for a holiday. 

“Hello, Verena.” Thomas smiles politely, scanning the bustling streets. “We’ve got one week here. Since this is your turf, what should we know?”

I can handle playing tour guide. “First, you need to see Lady Liberty. Prospect Park is good too. Also be careful in ‘Hattan ‘cause there’s construction for the new Rockefeller Center.”

The whole time I’m speaking Grace looks at me with confusion. “Did you know we were coming?”

“I spoke of it in the letter I sent,” Thomas answers for me.

Grace, still looking at me, nods. “I see.”

Message received. This is my home but I’m not welcomed to visiting with them. 

“You need to have a drink in Irishtown. Find The Wicked Monk, the best Irish pub on the East Coast. And stop by our joint if you want! Father would be happy to meet you.”

Grace doesn’t like that one bit.

“I’ll leave you to see the sights. I’ve gotta get back home to the shop. Tot ziens! Was good seeing you!”

Back into the bustling noise. Good. It will drown out my anger… By seeing people shout who are much angrier than I am. Now my own home, my used-to-be haven, is now stained with jealousy because of their voyage.

Two years later.

Words. Words. Words. The only thing linking me to the Shelbys. After Thomas and Grace went back to Birmingham I waited to hear back from someone. Anyone. Anything saying when they want me back. Nothing was said. Only a few letters describing their new happy lives and how the company is growing. Everyone is happy…

“Verena! Over here!”

And today is another reminder of the happiness I’m leaving behind. The wedding I hoped for but will never have. 

“Thomas! It’s been too long!” I greet as I haul my trunk off the train. “Oh my, you haven’t changed a bit!”

Same clean-shaven handsome face, same sharp suit. 

“And you look stunning, as usual,” the gangster smiles. “Welcome back to Birmingham.”

We start walking off the platform, no doubt to a car he has waiting for us. It’s so good to see him it's all I can do not to hug him. To look at those eyes.

“I won’t be staying too long, I don’t want to impose-”

“Nonsense. There’s plenty of room,” Thomas replies with ease. In the corner of my eye I see him looking. “You’re wearing your hair in braids?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Is that a problem?”

“Guess not. ‘S just you’ve never done it before.”

“I do at home. Just thought I’d show some Dutch culture.”

Thomas chuckles. “You’re not going to start wearing clogs, are you?” 

I dramatically hold a hand up to stop him. “Heavens, no. That part of my heritage I can live without. But enough of me. How are you? This is a big day.”

A little enthusiasm doesn’t hurt. Despite my dislike for the given situation he still needs all the support he can get. I can tell his mind is in many places.

“‘M nervous,” Thomas says, anxiously rubbing his face. “But excited.”

“My brothers thought the exact same way on their wedding days.” With my free hand I give him a comforting pat on the back. “Don’t stress, it passes. Eoin nearly fainted on his wedding day.”

I was right. Today's car is a beautiful black Fiat 501. Thomas still spares no expense when it comes to his cars. He packs my luggage in the trunk and, like the gentleman he is, opens the door for me. A guts and glory gangster yet he still remembers how to treat a woman.

“Thanks for being here,” he says when we start driving. “Ada still doesn’t always see eye to eye with me and the boys just keep joking around.”

“Of course. Glad to be of service.” Time to throw on the American charm. “You’ve probably heard this multiple times but congratulations! These two years are up and now it’s time for you to tie the knot! It’s not every day one gets to witness an English wedding. Is it any different?”

The word ‘wedding’ throws Thomas’ smile off for a split second but the usual catch-up chatter resumes as we make our way out of town. We pass a sign that says Warwickshire. Apparently Thomas bought his own house and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t itching to see it. Maybe a quaint cottage with a nice horse barn-

Or a freaking mansion. That… That works too, I guess.

“Verena, welcome to Arrow House.”

‘House’ does little to describe it. This is an all-out mansion! Thomas’ castle. He drops me off to the front door and has a handyman drive the car away. I walk through the grand entrance and notice the gorgeous decorations for the special day.

A grand long table dressed in white, decorated with colorful flower centerpieces. They even brought out the best china. All around maids and waiters are scurrying to and fro, finishing the last-minute touches. Above the table is a giant portrait of Thomas holding the reins to one of his magnificent white horses.

“Like it? Got a good price for it.”

As much as I want to be glad for him I can’t help but think he’s using his wealth to compensate for happiness. I must be honest.

“This isn’t you, Thomas. All this money? Living like royalty?”

He walks us further into the house to the edge of a large staircase. “I’d say the family’s earned it.”

I shake my head with sympathy. “You can paint many pictures of yourself but you’re still Thomas Shelby. A simple life can be just as rewarding as an expensive one.”

But he’s amused by this. “Ah, Verena. Still philosophical as ever.”

There’s no use trying to change his mind. This is his world. He’s proud of it. We get to the top of the stairs and I see a familiar framed picture of Lady Liberty.

“I see you kept the picture from your trip.”

Thomas sees where I’m looking. “New York is a wild place. I don’t know how you grew up there.”

I quirk an eyebrow. “Birmingham is no tamer.”

Thomas smirks. “Touché. I did enjoy it, really. The Statue of Liberty was one of Grace’s favorites.”

“If you liked that then next time I’ll show you guys Niagara Falls. Gorgeous place.”

Thomas starts to reach for my hand. “Do you need help with your bags?”

I quickly pull away. “No no, it’s quite alright. This city girl can haul her own luggage.”

He shows me to a room at the end of the hall. A room so big it’s the size of our living room back home. Um, is this a good idea? Inviting another woman to stay in the house of a newly-married couple? I really should find somewhere else to stay. Grace will have my eyes if she sees me here.

“Is this alright?” Thomas asks.

“Thomas, this- The room is perfect. But I should really-”

“Great! I have to finish up some things downstairs. The wedding starts in one hour, I’ll arrange for someone to drive you.” He strides back down the hall.

“Wait!” I run to catch up and meet him at the top of the stairs. “I know my vote doesn’t count but I must say that I am very proud of what you’ve made of yourself. You’re not the same man I met all those years ago, Thomas. You’re a father. A husband. A legit businessman. May God smile upon your family today.”

This is probably the last time I can talk to him alone, and I really do want the Shelbys to be happy. Today is a day for good spirits.

“Verena, that… That means a lot,” Thomas says, looking up from a few stairs below. “Thank you. I-”

“Mr. Shelby!” A maid calls from the bottom.

“Be right there!” Thomas looks at me one last time before heading down. “I’ll see you later.”

Yes. Later. When he’s married.

“Wow. Royal in-laws? You’ve moved up in the world,” I comment as we drive by multiple uniformed men.

“It’s Grace’s relatives,” John says from up front. “Between us, I’m still not used to the uniforms. None of us are. They’re only here for her.”

“It’s good to have you here!” Finn says for the tenth time.

“It’s worth it to see you all. And Arthur, you look very handsome as the best man.”

The man driving us to the church smiles bashfully. “That’s nice of ya, Steenstra. I can’t wait for you to meet Linda. Will you be here for the toast?”

“No, no. I’ll be around for the reception.”

There’s already enough drama between the Shelbys and Grace’s family. I’ll only add to the mix. A quick congrats, a small drink, and I’ll pop out.

I’ll give it to the Brits, they sure know how to have a proper wedding. This church is marvelous! I take my seat next to Finn and see Polly waving from a few seats down. Such a welcoming reunion. If only it weren’t for this occasion. Thomas strides down the aisle, looking very handsome in his spiffy tux, and stands next to Arthur at the altar. The usual music begins and all eyes turn to the silhouette approaching from outside.

Oh my goodness… That dress! A gorgeous lavender if I ever did see one. And the veil… a cascade of purple lace. No wonder Thomas is so happy. Grace gets to the end of the aisle and Jeremiah approaches the couple.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have gathered here today to join these two together in holy matrimony. Thomas Michael Shelby and Grace Helen Burgess.”

I try to keep listening but my mind wanders elsewhere. He chose her. Not me. I’m the one keeping myself trapped in this world. I chose to come back. It’s my fault for feeling this way. But it’s fine. Isn’t it?

Same routine as all my brothers’ weddings. I do, I do, kiss the bride, cheers. What’s different about this wedding is that the cheers seem one-sided. All of Thomas’ family jumps to their feet and shouts with delight, while the other side remains seated and claps. Thankfully Finn sees my discomfort and drags me outside. Everyone files out after us. The bouquet is tossed and all the single women scramble to wrestle over it.

“Fight! Fight! Fight!” Finn and I chant.

“Verena, are you edging them on?” John asks.

I smile sheepishly. “Only a little.”

“Why don’t you try?” Finn asks.

I scoff at his attempt at a joke. “Oh, please. I hardly believe in such superstitious nonsense.”

“Says the woman who won’t sleep without a cross above the bed.”

“Hey! It’s religious, not superstitious.”

Finn shrugs. “Maybe there’s a blend?”

Thomas shouts for everyone to gather and a photographer readies himself in front.

“Go on, take the photograph!” Arthur says.

I’m pushed to the side by Grace’s family and before I can protest the camera flashes. Everyone’s thinking it. I don’t belong here. I could have refused. The only reason I decided to attend was to support Thomas and his family. But she’s part of their family now and more than likely I won't be welcomed as often. 

Oh, my mistake. Pair the gossiping barmaid with the blood-thirsty gangster? They’re perfect for each other! He’s married. It’s done. I can’t have him. I need to let him go.

@meadows5